Brad Williams got Beef with Dink! | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series presented by Fanduel. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian Brad Williams for a hilarious, high-energy conversation about stand-up, crowd work, and pushing boundaries in comedy. They talk about Brad’s brand-new stand-up special Live on Short Street, his fearless approach on stage, and how he’s built one of the most unique and successful careers in comedy today. It’s fast, funny, and exactly what you want from two comics who know how to work a room. Watch out Peter Dinklage. Brad is taking you down! 🤣💪 🎥 Watch Brad Williams’ new special Starfish out now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXDA3HHcq5E In this episode: • Santino and Brad swap wild tour stories • Why taking risks in comedy still pays off Drop a comment with your favorite Brad Williams moment. #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #BradWilliams #Starfish #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #Comedians ================================================== This episode is sponsored by: SQUARESPACE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey FANDUEL HEAD TO https://fanduel.com/whiskey TO GET STARTED! SHADYRAYS PROMO CODE: GINGER GET 40% OFF YOUR ORDER https://shadyrays.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:35Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger: A Wave Series, presented by FanDuel. Hello out there. Do you want to come see me and Bobby Lee do Bad Friends Live? Well, we're doing it. Bad Friends, Los Angeles, YouTube Theater, May 8th, right here in Los Angeles, California. Then I'm going to be doing an hour down in Del Mar, San Diego, dude. North County, San Diego. Bring out Tanner, bring out Tanner, dude. June 28th at The Sound, I'm doing two shows in Del Mar, North County, San Diego, June 28th. Then July 24th, I'm in St. Charles, Missouri, or St. Louis, right next door. Come on and see me, you guys. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. andrewsantino.com.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Ooh, that creature in the ginger beard.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Sturdy ginger.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Like that, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the

• 2:37Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean once again today, it is Brad Williams. Brad Williams, cheers, me lad.

• 2:44Speaker 05

  Cheers.

• 2:45Andrew Santino?

  Cheers, we're having a little bit of Weller today. Brad was scared of the high proof. He got a little scared. He got scared.

• 2:50Speaker 05

  I'm tiny.

• 2:51Andrew Santino?

  He's a tiny man.

• 2:52Speaker 05

  That stuff.

• 2:52Andrew Santino?

  I know, is this glass too big for you?

• 2:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:54Andrew Santino?

  Hold it with two hands, so you don't spill all over the place.

• 2:56Speaker 05

  Okay, hold on.

• 2:58Andrew Santino?

  You know what's funny? You know I have little people joking my show right now, and you've seen it. And it's working out like a story. And, uh, um, I was like, oh, and I say on stage now, I'm like, Brad likes that joke. For those of you that are getting upset about it. I was like, Brad's my friend. We like, we like to joke around.

• 3:15Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 3:15Andrew Santino?

  If you can't shit on me for being a pale, um, orange freak.

• 3:19Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  What are we talking about?

• 3:21Speaker 05

  What, like, that's, that's my, that's my love language.

• 3:23Andrew Santino?

  Me too.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  Is to shit on people.

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 05

  I had one go horribly wrong two days ago.

• 3:29Andrew Santino?

  Whom?

• 3:30Speaker 05

  Whom? So, uh, uh, oh, it might be someone you're, oh, you're aware of, because you go on the Lebatard Show sometimes.

• 3:36Andrew Santino?

  I love Dan.

• 3:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:37Andrew Santino?

  He's mad at me right now, though. I mean, he's always mad at me.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  He's always mad for some, some reason. Uh, he has a guy on the show named, uh, David Sampson, who used to run the Marlins. And, uh, David's been very kind to me. And I'm on the show, I'm doing a thing, and I shit on his shirt. He's got a shirt that's got cherries on it.

• 3:57Andrew Santino?

  Got it.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  And I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna shit on your shirt, because he got a shirt with cherries on it. And then, we get down the segment, and he goes, you know, I'm wearing the shirt because my daughter.

• 4:07Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Who is going through, who is going through cancer.

• 4:10Andrew Santino?

  What does that do with cherries?

• 4:12Speaker 05

  Her nickname is Cherry.

• 4:13Andrew Santino?

  Oh, god.

• 4:16Andrew Santino?

  Chloe Cherry? The adult film star is his daughter? Chloe Cherry?

• 4:20Speaker 05

  And I have never felt worse.

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but dude, come on, how do you not?

• 4:25Speaker 05

  I didn't know.

• 4:25Andrew Santino?

  He should be wearing another, a shirt and an ascot that says, "This shirt is for cancer." You should have to flag that. You know what I mean? People, people need to know.

• 4:34Speaker 05

  Right.

• 4:34Andrew Santino?

  They're not stepping into the fire. Yeah, but that's our level. You and I have known each other for a long time. We always goof with each other. That's part of the fun.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  That's part of the fun. I, there, if you didn't know that we knew each other.

• 4:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 05

  And you saw us walk into the Comedy Store greeting room together, you would be like, oh shit, this is Hatfield and McCoy's. These guys fucking hate each other.

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, is this a comedy duo? What's going on?

• 5:00Speaker 05

  Well, like, yeah, like, it like, if Statler and Ward, if Statler and Wardorf were really different sizes, but then also fought each other physically.

• 5:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that'd be great.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  That is our relationship.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  That's great. That's, this is what we want.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  And I love that. And, and that is one of the main difference I've noticed between, and I hate using this word, but I'm going to, between comedians and civilians.

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Like, non-comedians, is that comedians look at the joke as just the joke.

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Is the joke good? Is that a phonetically good joke? Was there a turn? Was there a surprise? Is it a good joke? Civilians will go, well, how do I feel about the joke?

• 5:39Andrew Santino?

  What did you mean?

• 5:40Speaker 05

  What did you mean by that?

• 5:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's like, no, I don't, we just, it's, it's at surface level.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 5:44Andrew Santino?

  I think if you dig too deep into things, you, you start to get really bothered. You can do that about literally anything.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:49Andrew Santino?

  Just let it go, man.

• 5:50Speaker 05

  Just look at the joke and be like, ah, fuck, that was a good joke.

• 5:53Andrew Santino?

  That's a good joke.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, every time, every time I do a roast battle and someone has to roast me, they always, of course, they do dwarf stuff, but sometimes they do like, uh, he, he only has one note, like, he only talks about being a dwarf. And somebody will like, so does that, like, really hurt? I go, no, it's good.

• 6:12Andrew Santino?

  It's me.

• 6:12Speaker 05

  It's funny.

• 6:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what the fuck? That's you.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:15Andrew Santino?

  It's also, not only is it your calling card, it's kind of become, um, I don't, there, okay, is there another dwarf comic?

• 6:23Speaker 05

  There is. There, there's, there's a couple. There's, uh-

• 6:25Andrew Santino?

  Do I know? Do I know them?

• 6:26Speaker 05

  Nick Navicki.

• 6:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I know Nick. What am I saying?

• 6:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I know Nick. I'm sorry, Nick.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  Opens up for Nate Bargatze. So, you know, Nick, Nick's a billionaire now. And, uh-

• 6:35Andrew Santino?

  Billionaire with a B.

• 6:36Speaker 05

  He's a billionaire because he opens up for Nate.

• 6:38Andrew Santino?

  And he's got one of those Scrooge McDuck money vaults he's got, I've heard. He swims in it, but he's drowned almost three or four times.

• 6:43Speaker 05

  He, he, he has a hook.

• 6:45Andrew Santino?

  It's hard for him to get back up.

• 6:46Speaker 05

  It really is. Tiny arms, smaller than mine. That's, see, I'm fucking with a dwarf for having smaller arms than me.

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  They are smaller than yours.

• 6:54Speaker 05

  They are.

• 6:55Andrew Santino?

  Although you don't have small arms when it comes to paying the check. I will say Brad doesn't have T-Rex arms when it comes to, he'll pick up a check.

• 7:00Speaker 05

  I will do that.

• 7:00Andrew Santino?

  Which I do appreciate because it is right there in my pocket. Whenever a check comes to our table and you and I are out together, I'm always like, don't have little T-Rex arms now, pal.

• 7:08Speaker 05

  To be fair, shorter distance between my hand in my pocket.

• 7:12Andrew Santino?

  That's true.

• 7:13Speaker 05

  Than your arm in your pocket.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  This is a lot harder to get there.

• 7:15Speaker 05

  I don't even know how you walk around with those things.

• 7:17Andrew Santino?

  It's annoying.

• 7:18Speaker 05

  I'm like, I'm right.

• 7:19Andrew Santino?

  You're right there, dude.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  I almost went to Sebastian right there. I just get the check right there. Get in there.

• 7:27Andrew Santino?

  How do you feel about credit card roulette? Do you ever play this game with friends where everyone's at the table and you go, okay, we'll throw in and whosoever credit card gets pulled by the server, they have to pay?

• 7:36Speaker 05

  I've never done it. Not because I'm not scared to get it. I'm scared, I'm literally scared for other people to get it.

• 7:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, see, I hate it. I've had it. Some friends, like, I have buddies from college.

• 7:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  My buddy Colin loves it. And every time I'm like, Colin, this is not fair, because some people at the table are making more money than other people. And that, and he bullies people into doing it. I love it, because it's funny that he, he's like, we got, come on, dude. We gotta do, well, and if it's a round of drinks or whatever, if we're just having like a cocktail, fine, but if it's like a full meal and stuff.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  If it's a full meal?

• 8:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, I get so nervous.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  That's gonna be over like fifteen hundred dollars?

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  It's insane. It's an insane, I'm like, please don't do this to somebody.

• 8:14Speaker 05

  Don't do it.

• 8:14Andrew Santino?

  But I will say, every time I've done it with him, never been picked.

• 8:17Speaker 05

  You?

• 8:19Andrew Santino?

  Knock on wood. I've never been picked. My card's never been pulled.

• 8:22Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  My time is due. It's, it's gonna come. I'm gonna get pulled for the highest meal ever.

• 8:27Speaker 05

  Okay, so I'm gonna say something because my.

• 8:30Andrew Santino?

  Don't jinx me. I know you people jinx people all the time. Don't do that. Ah, no! He'll curse me. See?

• 8:39Andrew Santino?

  I just turn into a creature.

• 8:42Speaker 05

  I, I, I will, I will say this is, uh, my wife and I both love to treat people. We like, we, we like to pay for meals.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  You're a generous cat.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  Here is my only problem is sometimes I've been out with the large group and the wife will go to the waitress and slip the credit card in before the check comes.

• 9:02Andrew Santino?

  Your wife does that?

• 9:03Speaker 05

  Yes, which is totally fine.

• 9:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 05

  But then, when it gets announced that we've covered the bill, that the people thank my wife.

• 9:14Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 9:15Speaker 05

  I have a pet peeve with that.

• 9:16Andrew Santino?

  I think they're probably thanking her for putting up with your bullshit. They're probably like, "Thank you for fucking Brad. Someone's gotta do it."

• 9:24Speaker 05

  Someone.

• 9:24Andrew Santino?

  So, "Thank you."

• 9:25Speaker 05

  And be, and because you're fucking him, we got a free dinner.

• 9:28Andrew Santino?

  Exactly.

• 9:28Speaker 05

  So, "Thank you."

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  So, this is the balance of the world. Yeah. She puts up with your bullshit. It's, it's, you know what's so funny though? The, the pay the check thing.

• 9:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:36Andrew Santino?

  Uh, I've done that, like, you know, especially with my parents. I like to try to take care of my parents because they took care of us our whole life.

• 9:41Speaker 05

  That feels really great to do that.

• 9:42Andrew Santino?

  And, and, uh, sometimes he like fights me on it. My dad will be like, "You already got enough. Like, stop doing it," you know? But they're retired and they're not making money anymore. So, I'm like, "No, just let me..." We were on, we were in Arizona. We went out to dinner. And my sister gave me an edible and, uh, we had already had a full day. And so, I took the edible and I got to dinner and I try, I was like sneaking away to go pay the check. You know, I was like, "See?" To do the thing, to drop the card.

• 10:05Speaker 05

  It's a good move.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  And, um, I can't get it out. Like, I'm like, I'm so dumb that I was like, "Hey, can I wanna, can I do the, uh, I wanna give you the, um, so I could do, if you don't be quiet about it, uh..."

• 10:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  And I couldn't like formulate a sentence because I was ripped out of my mind. Like, it just kicked in and the server was like, "Are you all right? What's go, are, what do you mean?" And I was like, "Just the bill, so I can put on the bill. I could give you my card and I'll..." And he was like, "Oh, you wanna, oh, yeah, yeah." And I handed my credit card. As I walked back to the table, I was like, "I'm too high for dinner." Like, I'm too high, even for a dinner. I was like, "My god." The waves of edibles now, dude, they're way too strong.

• 10:40Speaker 05

  You gotta be careful.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  They're way too strong. And this wasn't even a heavy one. Uh, maybe it was like 15 or something like that. It wasn't that crazy.

• 10:46Speaker 05

  I've, I've, I've taken the edibles, like, back when I was doing clubs, I would take edibles from an audience member.

• 10:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. I did that all the time.

• 10:54Speaker 05

  Audience member would be nice enough to bake me a brownie, a cookie, something.

• 10:57Andrew Santino?

  What's in it?

• 10:58Speaker 05

  Well done.

• 10:59Andrew Santino?

  How deep am I gonna go?

• 10:59Speaker 05

  Well done. But now... No.

• 11:01Andrew Santino?

  Uh-uh.

• 11:02Speaker 05

  I can't.

• 11:03Andrew Santino?

  I've done those nights. I remember one night I took a, I took a joint from a guy that was in Edmonton and it was snowing and I sat in my hotel.

• 11:09Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  In Edmonton, having a panic attack because I was way too high. I shouldn't have done it, dude. Should not have done that.

• 11:17Speaker 05

  That happened to me in Miami and, uh, and I was up, I, it was a very high hotel room and so much so like the wind was like whistling.

• 11:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you hear it through the?

• 11:29Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 11:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh, bro, freaking out. Freaking out.

• 11:32Speaker 05

  I was terrified.

• 11:34Andrew Santino?

  But a lot of people don't know this, if Brad jumps off that balcony, he will float a little bit lighter than we do.

• 11:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:39Andrew Santino?

  He's able to spread out and kinda like those squirrel suits.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  You can kinda float.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  Galileo was wrong.

• 11:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude. All that feather bowling ball shit.

• 11:46Speaker 05

  Been saying it for years.

• 11:48Andrew Santino?

  That's Sebastian again.

• 11:50Speaker 05

  Oh, God. I can't do some, it, it's so much fun. I almost hate that, uh, the brilliant comic on SNL that's now doing Sebastian.

• 11:58Andrew Santino?

  Marcelo, right?

• 11:59Speaker 05

  Yeah. He's so good at it.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  Hey, he's the man.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  And, but I, I, I hate the fact that the Sebastian impression is becoming more popular.

• 12:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, because we did it first. We, we've been doing it for years.

• 12:10Speaker 05

  All comics did Sebastian.

• 12:10Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 12:11Speaker 05

  Because it's so fun.

• 12:12Andrew Santino?

  It's so good.

• 12:13Speaker 05

  It's so easy.

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:14Speaker 05

  You could do, like, Sebastian's character is so defined.

• 12:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  That it's just like, you can come like, "You put the whiskey with ice?"

• 12:25Andrew Santino?

  With ice?

• 12:26Speaker 05

  With ice? Why would you do that?

• 12:29Andrew Santino?

  Aren't you embarrassed?

• 12:30Speaker 05

  Like, it's so much fun.

• 12:33Andrew Santino?

  To give him a little shout out, by the way. I just saw him running a half hour at the store. I think he's doing chunks to work out a new hour.

• 12:38Speaker 05

  Uh-huh.

• 12:39Andrew Santino?

  Bueno.

• 12:40Speaker 05

  Oh, it's so good.

• 12:41Andrew Santino?

  He's back at it again.

• 12:42Speaker 05

  It's so good.

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  And also, Easy Parlay, before we get distracted, because you and I are bad boys, we'll just talk for hours about nothing.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  Right.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  Please go watch right now. Take a, take a time to open up a new tab.

• 12:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:51Andrew Santino?

  Apple T. Put, put the tab up on YouTube and go watch Brad's brand new special that's available right now on his channel.

• 12:57Speaker 05

  Yep, on my YouTube channel. It's called Live on Short Street. Why did we title it that? Why? Do you want to know?

• 13:04Andrew Santino?

  It was actually shot on Short Street, at the theater on Short Street.

• 13:06Speaker 05

  It was.

• 13:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 05

  Lexington, Kentucky.

• 13:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  And, uh, uh, shot on Short Street. I'm like, I had another title and then once I found out the theater was on Short Street, I'm like, come on.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  What are we supposed to do?

• 13:16Speaker 05

  What, come on.

• 13:17Andrew Santino?

  The comedy gods are like, Brad, don't miss this one, pal.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  If you ever shot, uh, a special on Little Dick Ginger Avenue.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

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• 16:25Andrew Santino?

  They Google trolls, little tiny trolls I want, trinket trolls. You make them! They're going to find them because of Squarespace. They also have a donations page, a videos page, where you can post videos, email campaigns, you can sell content, and they're going to give you all your analytics, these built-in analytics tools to show you who your audience is, where they're coming from, and how you can continue to retain them. Go to Squarespace.com/whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code WHISKY, okay? Squarespace.com, check it out! Toy around a little bit. You're going to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code WHISKY. Squarespace.com/whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. By the way, your daughter... Yes.

• 17:10Andrew Santino?

  ...who is also a dwarf... Yes. The best thing people don't know about Brad, at night, they don't sleep in beds like matrushka dolls, they stack within each other. So if you open up Brad, his daughter's inside of him right now. Yeah, I'm keeping her warm. It's fine, you know? It's like a little marsupial. Yeah, like a little papoose. Yeah, yeah, it's there. The first time I saw that in Australia, when I saw the kangaroo in a pouch, was the coolest thing I've ever seen. It's amazing. I was like, how is not other, how have other species not also developed that way? Could you imagine if we just had rhinos holding rhinos? Amazing. It would just be like... Little baby rhinos. Little baby rhino pops up and... And then, of course, I think of the scene in Ace Ventura when he comes out of the rhino's ass. They just sold that rhino! Jim Ursay owned it, right? Or no, who owned it? Somebody... Somebody... We talked about this. Somebody owned it.

• 17:55Speaker 05

  Yes, and now it was for sale.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  How much do you think it sold for?

• 17:58Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 17:59Andrew Santino?

  Let's guess, cuz I did remember seeing this. I don't know how much it sold for. I think like, uh...

• 18:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  God, my allergies are killing my eyes.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  I would say, I would say someone paid at least, uh, let's say a hundred and twenty-five thousand for that.

• 18:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a real movie prop. I'm gonna, it's big, it's a real thing. I would say, I'm gonna go, uh, I'm gonna go one dollar, Bob. I'm gonna go under that, just for fun.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  Oh, you son of a bitch.

• 18:18Andrew Santino?

  What is it? What's the total number that that was sold for? We'll find out from the, from the archives.

• 18:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:22Andrew Santino?

  Side note, speaking of which, si- similar article line I was reading when I saw that?

• 18:26Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:26Andrew Santino?

  Banksy got revealed, apparently?

• 18:28Speaker 05

  I don't...

• 18:28Andrew Santino?

  Fucking annoyed. I didn't wanna know.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  I don't want Banksy to, I don't want him to have a mortgage?

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, why did they do that?

• 18:33Speaker 05

  A person?

• 18:34Andrew Santino?

  Why did they fucking do that?

• 18:35Speaker 05

  No.

• 18:36Andrew Santino?

  That really like bothered me. And they put up photos of him, and I was like...

• 18:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:39Andrew Santino?

  The whole, this is the problem with, this is the problem with America today, man.

• 18:44Speaker 05

  I tell you what, let's get into it.

• 18:45Andrew Santino?

  Let's get into it, dude.

• 18:46Speaker 05

  I got some thoughts.

• 18:47Andrew Santino?

  But it used to be the fantasy was beautiful.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  And like, just let that live and die on its own.

• 18:51Speaker 05

  It's the whole Batman monologue where he's like, "But as a symbol, I can mean something so much more."

• 18:56Andrew Santino?

  That's right, dude.

• 18:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:58Andrew Santino?

  Banksy got to become this thing, then they oversold his art, they sold him out, and then the hunt to find who Banksy was, killed me. Like, the Mr., uh, what's it called? Uh, Mr. Brainwash or whatever? Uh, remember that documentary about Brain, Mr. Brainwash? Do you not know who this is?

• 19:11Speaker 05

  No. No.

• 19:12Andrew Santino?

  Who they masqueraded for a while as maybe perhaps being a Banksy cuz he worked with him, and they were like, maybe this is the guy?

• 19:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:18Andrew Santino?

  He got very famous. There was a documentary about him.

• 19:20Speaker 05

  Oh, I want him to be an idea. Now, Bank... Exit through the gift shop.

• 19:23Andrew Santino?

  Exit through the gift shop.

• 19:24Speaker 05

  That one, yeah.

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  But I mean, this became this great prank I think Banksy also played on America was like, teasing people the idea that Brainwash could have been him, perhaps?

• 19:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:34Andrew Santino?

  But this, it was great because he was a, he was a, a figment of our imagination.

• 19:38Speaker 05

  He was an idea.

• 19:39Andrew Santino?

  Then when I saw a photo of him, I go, "Fuck, that's Banksy."

• 19:41Speaker 05

  He's just an accountant.

• 19:42Andrew Santino?

  I don't like it.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  He looks like an accountant.

• 19:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he looks like he pays parking meters, you know, like with coins where you're like, "That, I don't want that guy to be Banksy." Like, that, that, I don't like that. I want Banksy to be an illusion.

• 19:52Speaker 05

  I want Banksy to be the V for Vendetta guy.

• 19:56Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 19:56Speaker 05

  Just the mask.

• 19:57Andrew Santino?

  The mask.

• 19:58Speaker 05

  And just be like, "Remember, remember..." But like, that's all I wanted to know. Now, I don't wanna, cuz now Banksy looks like a guy... Where you're driving on a Sunday is like, yeah, that's Banksy mowing his front yard.

• 20:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's Banksy. Yeah, he comes into the Ralphs by my house. Fucking nightmare. Alright, tell me what it is. What, how much did that, uh, Ryan himself for?

• 20:14Speaker 06

  Still on.

• 20:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's on the auction still?

• 20:16Speaker 05

  Oh, we have a shot?

• 20:17Speaker 06

  For a couple more weeks.

• 20:18Andrew Santino?

  How much is it bidding for at this point?

• 20:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 06

  It says its estimated value is four to eight thousand, started at two thousand.

• 20:24Andrew Santino?

  Four thousand dollars? Can we buy that?

• 20:27Speaker 05

  Can we buy this?

• 20:27Speaker 06

  It was at the, it was at Planet Hollywood before it now. That was the previous owner.

• 20:32Andrew Santino?

  Dude, why, why do I think this was worth so much more money? It was like such an iconic moment in, maybe it's just because of our age that we're like that.

• 20:38Speaker 05

  It's right there. Right.

• 20:39Andrew Santino?

  That remembering him coming out of that ass was so powerful.

• 20:41Speaker 05

  So funny.

• 20:42Andrew Santino?

  That's so good.

• 20:43Speaker 06

  It's currently at twenty thousand dollars.

• 20:45Andrew Santino?

  Twenty grand. It will go up to probably fifty or sixty. So the under will win.

• 20:49Speaker 05

  We could throw in, we could throw in a bid. You wanna buy a rhino?

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  Buy a rhino?

• 20:57Speaker 05

  Cause Jim Carrey came out of its ass?

• 21:02Speaker 05

  Yes, I do.

• 21:02Andrew Santino?

  I do, actually. Do you have any, you like collectible stuff? Do you have something at your house that you have a lot of pride in like that?

• 21:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, uh, I have a, uh, I have a, uh, all USC Heisman Trophy winners have signed, including OJ.

• 21:19Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit.

• 21:19Speaker 05

  I have an OJ.

• 21:20Andrew Santino?

  What, is it a ball or a poster? What is it?

• 21:22Speaker 05

  It's a poster.

• 21:23Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 21:23Speaker 05

  But I got, I gotta get your boy Caleb.

• 21:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, you do.

• 21:27Speaker 05

  Cause Caleb won and now I don't have his yet, so I gotta get Caleb to add to it.

• 21:30Andrew Santino?

  He's your next, he's the next to Phil.

• 21:32Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 21:33Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that's really cool. Did you, and you framed it, right? You put it, it's framed out in the house, yeah?

• 21:36Speaker 05

  It's framed, it has photos of all of them by the signatures. That's my like piece de resistance.

• 21:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you're, cause you're a diehard Trojan.

• 21:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:44Andrew Santino?

  Something about people that go USC, they, they really, really love that. They really are into it.

• 21:48Speaker 05

  We like doing this.

• 21:50Andrew Santino?

  UCLA isn't really as much into it.

• 21:51Speaker 06

  No, there's a reason.

• 21:53Andrew Santino?

  Okay, alright, taking shots, dude. No, but for some reason UCLA feels like they were busy developing rockets.

• 21:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, and like advancing medical and like.

• 22:02Andrew Santino?

  They're doing all the things we need.

• 22:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, and we're like, we have Will Ferrell and John Wayne. Do you guys have John Wayne? Do you guys have a guy who's the whitest guy ever who played Genghis Khan in a movie?

• 22:13Andrew Santino?

  Pilgrim dude, great pilgrim.

• 22:14Speaker 05

  We got that.

• 22:15Andrew Santino?

  He was so funny, dude, John Wayne.

• 22:17Speaker 05

  We gotta go fight the Mongols.

• 22:20Speaker 06

  Like, everyone on that movie got cancer.

• 22:22Andrew Santino?

  Everybody on what movie got cancer? Ace Ventura?

• 22:24Speaker 06

  No, on The Conqueror.

• 22:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, oh, got cancer when he played Genghis Cohen?

• 22:28Speaker 06

  Because they, Genghis Cohen?

• 22:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Genghis Cohen, my favorite Chinese restaurant on Fairfax?

• 22:34Speaker 06

  Because they were shooting in Nevada where they were doing nuclear testing.

• 22:37Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right.

• 22:38Speaker 06

  And it's like one of the biggest, like, most controversial cases of a bunch of people dying. Like, they tried to destroy prints of the movie and it almost didn't exist.

• 22:44Speaker 05

  Like, more than the San Francisco 49ers next to that power plant? All going down? Have you heard this theory?

• 22:51Andrew Santino?

  Have I heard this theory?

• 22:54Andrew Santino?

  I know all about it. It's been, this has been the topic of conversation for quite a long time. What do they call them? EMF waves or whatever, whatever it's called?

• 23:00Speaker 05

  So, that, so, some power plant...

• 23:02Andrew Santino?

  No, no, it's right next door to their practice facility.

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then they're busting all their ACLs. I...

• 23:07Andrew Santino?

  Not just that, it's a lot of weird injuries, too.

• 23:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:09Andrew Santino?

  And they're doing cancer tracing now to say, do the coaches, are coaches, you know, like, are the coaches, uh, getting weird illnesses? Like, there's a lot of internet fodder to support this.

• 23:19Speaker 05

  Don't, now, I, I don't know if anything is true.

• 23:23Andrew Santino?

  Well, look, uh, uh, okay, how about this? How could you validate that the Rams play here in LA? This is cancer heaven. I mean, like, you fly into LA, you're like, this is a cancer city.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:32Andrew Santino?

  Like, it's a layer of smog, there are nothing but phone wire. The amount of electrical wiring that runs through this town above us, it's comical. You can't go out anywhere without seeing huge, you know, electrical wires running through LA.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  I live right next to a Chevron plant.

• 23:47Andrew Santino?

  You do? Oh, that's right, you would, that's what I do.

• 23:49Speaker 05

  Right next to a Chevron plant.

• 23:51Andrew Santino?

  Well, maybe it'll help you grow.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, if I ever show up six foot two...

• 23:55Andrew Santino?

  Like Brad?

• 23:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:59Andrew Santino?

  What happened?

• 23:59Speaker 05

  Why you looking at me weird?

• 24:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're like six feet now.

• 24:02Speaker 05

  Ah, you know, I took some multivitamins. Went to GNC.

• 24:06Andrew Santino?

  Your, your wife is as tall as Wendy? Like, oh my god, dude.

• 24:11Speaker 05

  Walking around like that.

• 24:12Andrew Santino?

  It's insane. I'm sure there's validity to it, but there's a lot of internet conspiratorial rumors over like whether or not this is real.

• 24:19Speaker 06

  This one's a lot more specific. The conquer came out in 56 and they were doing nuclear tests right nearby in 1953.

• 24:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, three years after they started filming?

• 24:27Speaker 06

  Out of the 220 crew members, 91 developed cancer by 1980 with 46 of them dying of it.

• 24:32Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 24:32Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:33Andrew Santino?

  By the way, this is when the studio's owned actors, so you couldn't sue anyway. Nobody could say anything.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  You had a, you were like under contract.

• 24:39Andrew Santino?

  I can tell you what sweetheart, so you got cancer, big deal. Everyone's getting cancer.

• 24:43Speaker 05

  Everyone's getting cancer. It's, it, it's a new trendy thing. You wanna know what kills cancer, those? These are Lucky Strike cigarettes.

• 24:49Andrew Santino?

  You gotta smoke 'em. Get 'em now at your local 76.

• 24:52Speaker 06

  It was a Howard Hughes, he produced it and he tried, he paid 12 million dollars to destroy almost every print of the movie in existence. So it almost ceased to exist, but they digitized it.

• 25:01Andrew Santino?

  But they still gotta put it out. But they gotta make their money, baby.

• 25:03Speaker 05

  We found it just to hear John Wayne talk like this. You know, we gotta go across the Asian land.

• 25:14Speaker 05

  What a great accent that guy had.

• 25:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, that was when Hollywood was, was interesting and weird and now it's just weird and not interesting.

• 25:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's just weird.

• 25:22Andrew Santino?

  Now it's just not even fun.

• 25:23Speaker 05

  There's too much.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  This is long after the Oscars have come out because we're filming this early, but uh, uh, never been so uninterested in stuff as I am now to the business, stuff like that. Like I just don't care as much as I thought I used to like it a little bit.

• 25:38Speaker 05

  And the good part for guys like you and me is that

• 25:41Andrew Santino?

  We'll never go.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:43Andrew Santino?

  Well, then we don't belong.

• 25:44Speaker 05

  We don't belong, but we're doing just fine.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, life is good.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  Outside of all of that.

• 25:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we don't like it.

• 25:49Speaker 05

  Like, you know, it used to be you had to go down a certain path to get, to have your, to get on the Tonight Show or to get a special on either HBO or Comedy Central. Those, those were your only homes that you can go. Now, uh, you know, you could go, uh, on various streaming platforms. If a platform like Hulu pays, uh, let's just say a random comic, uh, not saying anyone specific, but if they pay him like 10, 12 million dollars like they did, their special will go up there. Uh, saw your car out there, very nice car.

• 26:20Andrew Santino?

  First of all, they paid me a hundred million dollars.

• 26:22Speaker 05

  Oh, shit, okay. You know, but like in-

• 26:25Andrew Santino?

  No, they didn't.

• 26:26Speaker 05

  And, uh, you know, you could put it up on your own YouTube channel like I'm doing with my special.

• 26:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 26:32Speaker 05

  And if people like it, they'll find it.

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  It's not like people can just say, "No, it has to be on this platform or this platform."

• 26:38Andrew Santino?

  Right, it used to be Coke or Pepsi. Now, now RC Cola has entered the conversation.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  God bless RC Cola.

• 26:43Andrew Santino?

  Joltz in there a little bit, you know what I mean?

• 26:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:45Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Pepper, I would say, I would say if Netflix is Coke and HBO is, uh-

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Pepsi.

• 26:51Andrew Santino?

  Pepsi.

• 26:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:52Andrew Santino?

  I would say Hulu, Amazon, Hulu and Amazon are like, uh, cola, you know, when it's just-

• 26:58Speaker 05

  RC.

• 26:59Andrew Santino?

  RC, when it's just titled cola.

• 27:01Speaker 05

  Yeah. Orange soda.

• 27:03Andrew Santino?

  Soda, yeah. And YouTube, on the other hand, YouTube is Dr. Pepper because-

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's right.

• 27:07Andrew Santino?

  It is phenomenal.

• 27:08Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:08Andrew Santino?

  And it's kind of the, it's kind of like a nice little secret.

• 27:10Speaker 05

  It's all the flavors.

• 27:12Andrew Santino?

  It's so good.

• 27:12Speaker 05

  It, it, it's so much fun and, uh, there's so, so many comics that have their specials on there. And, uh, so there, there's no right way to do it.

• 27:20Andrew Santino?

  No, not anymore.

• 27:21Speaker 05

  Yeah. There, there, there's no one-

• 27:23Andrew Santino?

  Not anymore.

• 27:23Speaker 05

  Path where it's like, "What, you're not gonna wait until this streaming platform gives you money?" No, just put it up yourself.

• 27:28Andrew Santino?

  Put it up yourself, that's real, I mean, I love that you're doing that. And you've touched all the bases already, you've put, you've put specials out all over the place, so-

• 27:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:34Andrew Santino?

  Why not, why not do YouTube now?

• 27:36Speaker 05

  Why not than have my own little channel?

• 27:39Andrew Santino?

  Sebastian.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  It's so much fun to do.

• 27:43Andrew Santino?

  By the way, it should be called "My Own Little Channel."

• 27:47Andrew Santino?

  Brad's Little Channel.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  It's a little channel.

• 27:49Andrew Santino?

  It's a little channel.

• 27:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, put a, put my special on there, put my podcast, I got a podcast called, uh, Height and Babble, where, uh, we, it's me and JB Ball.

• 27:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:58Speaker 05

  You know, and, and we just find weird stories on the internet. And-

• 28:01Andrew Santino?

  Just go deep.

• 28:02Speaker 05

  And we friggin' talk about them.

• 28:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  And it, it, it's like hanging out with us at a Waffle House at 2 a.m.

• 28:08Andrew Santino?

  Why'd you say Waffle House?

• 28:09Speaker 05

  Cause I love Waffle House.

• 28:10Andrew Santino?

  Do you really?

• 28:11Speaker 05

  I- Love Waffle House.

• 28:13Andrew Santino?

  Last time I went, I got, me and JR Smith went to a Waffle House and got, I got sick as a dog.

• 28:17Speaker 05

  Wait, the JR Smith?

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 05

  The frickin' going the wrong way JR Smith?

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  Watch your mouth, man. Watch how you talk about my boy, dude. He's never gone the wrong way. He goes his way. And that's the right way.

• 28:27Speaker 05

  His way becomes the right way.

• 28:28Andrew Santino?

  He's the man, dude.

• 28:29Speaker 05

  Hey, incredible golfer, by the way.

• 28:31Andrew Santino?

  We were together at Augusta. We were going to watch Augusta together and we went out the night before and got food after. There was like a, a little party and he, I was, the food was, you know when you go to one of these fucking huge parties? And there's no food. And there was like, they were like, oh, do you want, it was like little tiny bullshit. And he's an adult male.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  He's six foot eight or whatever he is.

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

  He's a big boy and he was like, yo, we gotta eat. I was like, let's go anywhere else. And the only thing open was Waffle House. So we went to Waffle House. But I got, I got a little, I got a little rumbly tumbly gumbly.

• 28:59Speaker 05

  Uh, you know, cause uh, the redheaded stepchildren, weak, weak stomachs.

• 29:04Andrew Santino?

  Weak people, well, weak people. Weak people.

• 29:06Speaker 05

  Weak people.

• 29:07Andrew Santino?

  Weak people.

• 29:08Speaker 05

  The sun, which nourishes everyone else, takes your people out.

• 29:12Andrew Santino?

  It's killing me every day. I'm wearing sunscreen inside. I say that all the time.

• 29:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:14Andrew Santino?

  I'm wearing it right now. I have to. This hat is not for fashion, it's for function. These lights are brighter than people think. I'm getting a little bit of UV right now.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  And I love Waffle House. Cause every time we go to Waffle House, you get a meal and you will have a story.

• 29:30Andrew Santino?

  And you're, and you're paying six bucks.

• 29:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you get waffles, eggs, sausage, a coffee, an orange juice. You get whatever.

• 29:37Speaker 05

  Six bucks.

• 29:37Andrew Santino?

  Five fifty, something like that, yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 05

  My favorite part about the Waffle House menu is that they ha, they hand it to you and their main thing that you get is called the all-star special.

• 29:45Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 29:45Speaker 05

  I'll tell you exactly what's on it.

• 29:47Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:47Speaker 05

  It's a waffle, it's eggs, it's bacon or sausage, it's grits or hash browns. All-star special.

• 29:54Andrew Santino?

  All-star special.

• 29:54Speaker 05

  It has the price, but then the price is crossed off and they're like, we're giving it to you for two bucks less. It's like, fourteen dollars regular, fourteen's crossed off, now it's twelve bucks.

• 30:04Andrew Santino?

  That's great.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  But the menu's laminated.

• 30:06Andrew Santino?

  Right. Don't tell anybody the secrets of Waffle House, man. Waffle House corporate's panicking right now.

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Well, he figured it out.

• 30:14Andrew Santino?

  How do they find out?

• 30:14Speaker 05

  Wait, blow, blow dart the dwarf. Someone blow dart the dwarf.

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  Your next special, by the way, Blow Dart the Dwarf. Somebody Blow Dart the Dwarf. Yeah, Don, McCone. He's got a Blow Dart here in the studio, nobody can see it.

• 30:29Andrew Santino?

  He loves the blow part more than the dart part.

• 30:31Speaker 05

  Oh, but yeah, uh, uh, have you ever seen a conflict?

• 30:35Andrew Santino?

  At a Waffle House?

• 30:36Speaker 05

  Go down in a Waffle House.

• 30:37Andrew Santino?

  One of my favorite YouTube hunts is when I start to find fights at a Waffle House. I do love that. I haven't seen it live.

• 30:42Speaker 05

  Alright, so, I haven't seen an actual fight. Uh, I saw a cook moving very slow. And, uh, right out in front of everybody, take out a substance. I'm not sure what it was.

• 30:59Andrew Santino?

  Little Fanny Cook, little Fenty Cook?

• 31:00Speaker 05

  You know, and, uh, let's just say everyone got their shit real quick after that.

• 31:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Meth Cook?

• 31:06Speaker 05

  He started boop.

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  Moving, yeah. Waffle, waffle, eggs, eggs, two eggs, four eggs, egg. By the way, cocaine is very pervasive in kitchens because they need to be up and moving all the time.

• 31:16Speaker 05

  All the time. At a Waffle House, you got, you gotta be making eggs with the same fervor at 3 o'clock in the morning that you were at 8 a.m. One 24-hour shift.

• 31:27Andrew Santino?

  That is true.

• 31:28Speaker 05

  So, yeah, that, that was a good time, but my favorite time ever, ever at Waffle House is, uh, it was me, JB, Quincy, a few other guys from our crew. And then, there's a lot of people in the Waffle House, and there's a, there's a, there's a TouchTunes.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  Love a TouchTunes. I got money on it right now.

• 31:46Speaker 05

  Love a TouchTunes.

• 31:47Andrew Santino?

  I got money, I got 30 bucks on the app right now.

• 31:48Speaker 05

  And I don't know how it happened, but everyone kinda got plugged in. And it was a challenge where you had to, alright, you've got the TouchTunes. What do you got?

• 31:58Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 31:59Speaker 05

  And then the whole Waffle House would judge you. Based on the song.

• 32:03Andrew Santino?

  What'd you pick? What's your, what's your number one go-to on the TouchTunes?

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Candy Girl.

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  Candy Girl, that's your number one, dude?

• 32:10Speaker 05

  Gotta go Candy Girl. I looked around at the clientele.

• 32:14Andrew Santino?

  And you thought?

• 32:15Speaker 05

  And I thought, you know what? This is not a Kings of Leon crowd.

• 32:20Andrew Santino?

  No, probably not at Waffle House at 3:00 in the morning.

• 32:22Speaker 05

  No, so I went with Candy Girl, and the place went nuts, but there was other people that chose different songs.

• 32:31Speaker 05

  And the waffle-

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  Like, like, who, JB?

• 32:33Speaker 05

  JB was great, but everyone, like, there was one table, what, what the fuck did they choose? Uh, oh, they, they, they chose, uh, Three Dog Night.

• 32:43Andrew Santino?

  Three Dog Night?

• 32:45Speaker 05

  Three Dog Night, a little Jeremiah was a bullfrog.

• 32:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  I heard he's a good friend of mine, but, uh, the Waffle House did not approve.

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  It's not my, it's not a song I would want to get down to. It's not really like a waffle and egg song.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  It's not a 3am, no, so, yeah.

• 32:59Andrew Santino?

  By the way, I need to check right now, because you made me think, I want to see how much Toots Soon's money I do have, because last time- Because last time, because you know you refill?

• 33:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  And sometimes, you're, if you're, especially if you're hammered, you'll just refill and be like, 20 bucks, and then you'll go, someone will grab your phone, pick a bunch of shit, and then you're like, well, I gotta refill again.

• 33:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  So this, you can pop in the-

• 33:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, they'll do like-

• 33:20Andrew Santino?

  The snug here.

• 33:20Speaker 05

  They'll do like, eight songs, and, and-

• 33:22Andrew Santino?

  What do you, how much do you have on there? Are you looking right now? How much do you have?

• 33:25Speaker 06

  I have 55 credits.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  55 dollars?

• 33:28Speaker 06

  No.

• 33:29Andrew Santino?

  Or credits, yeah.

• 33:29Speaker 05

  Credits.

• 33:30Speaker 06

  55 credits.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  How much is that? How, how much is-

• 33:33Speaker 06

  65 credits for 30 dollars.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  65 credits for 30 dollars, yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because I only, I have 24 credits left.

• 33:38Speaker 05

  You got like, 25 bucks on there?

• 33:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 33:41Andrew Santino?

  That, that's reasonable.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  That's reasonable.

• 33:44Speaker 06

  Because I got the deal.

• 33:47Speaker 05

  Oh, there's-

• 33:47Speaker 06

  The, the 65 for 30.

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  Well, because they give you the discount deal.

• 33:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they give you the discount deal.

• 33:53Speaker 06

  You get 15 free credits if you do that.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  So, I, I, I think-

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  I'm shocked you didn't play the, uh, Lollipop Guild, because that's one of your favorites.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  Oh, I was tempted. I was tempted.

• 34:00Andrew Santino?

  You got up on the counter-

• 34:01Speaker 05

  You don't think-

• 34:02Andrew Santino?

  And went, "We represent, I would lose my shit, dude."

• 34:04Speaker 05

  The place would go nuts.

• 34:05Andrew Santino?

  Eggs for everybody.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  Ah, play a little Bushwick Bill.

• 34:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 34:10Speaker 05

  One of my people.

• 34:11Andrew Santino?

  Love Bushwick.

• 34:12Speaker 05

  I was playing tricks on me. Oh, I do it.

• 34:13Andrew Santino?

  Getting shot in the head.

• 34:15Speaker 05

  Shot in the head.

• 34:15Andrew Santino?

  Lived.

• 34:16Speaker 05

  A dwarf, shot in the head, lost an eye.

• 34:18Speaker 06

  Shot in the eye.

• 34:19Andrew Santino?

  Lived?

• 34:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:20Andrew Santino?

  Then ended up taking his own life anyway.

• 34:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:22Andrew Santino?

  That's insane.

• 34:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:23Andrew Santino?

  If you get shot in the head and you live, dude, you gotta, you gotta see the whole thing through.

• 34:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, God just looked at you and went, "Not yet."

• 34:28Andrew Santino?

  Not yet, dude.

• 34:29Speaker 06

  It was harder for him to see the whole thing through.

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh. Hard for him to see the whole thing through. He, he only saw half of his life.

• 34:36Speaker 05

  Mmm, so-

• 34:37Andrew Santino?

  His life flashed in front of his eye.

• 34:42Andrew Santino?

  By the way, we talk about our heaven thing. Bush McBill got up to the heaven line and they were like, "Brother, let this guy in immediately."

• 34:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  He has a dwarf and he's blind?

• 34:49Speaker 05

  Dwarf, one eye missing. Holy crap, bro. You had a life.

• 34:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're still in line. He's like, "Brad, you have to wait."

• 34:55Speaker 05

  You gotta wait.

• 34:56Andrew Santino?

  Lot of little people in line, dude.

• 34:57Speaker 05

  Bushwick going right to the front. Vern Troyer still in that line.

• 35:01Andrew Santino?

  He's still waiting.

• 35:02Speaker 05

  He's still waiting.

• 35:02Andrew Santino?

  He's still waiting.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  All those years.

• 35:04Andrew Santino?

  I've heard he was a big powerhouse drinker, dude. I heard he was, he could drink. Cause you can drink. You and I have spent many a nights getting hamboned and you can, you can keep up.

• 35:13Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  But I've heard that Vern was like a, you could Google this. I've heard he's had Tales of Hollywood where he was like out drinking everybody at the table.

• 35:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vern, Vern was a drinker. We discussed this at several meetings.

• 35:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, it's just like the redhead of meetings. We talk about Carrot Top and Kathy Griffin all the time.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  Of course. We all, we all get together. But, by the way, uh, shout out to the guy that no longer attends the meetings, Dinklage.

• 35:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he's better than you guys now, huh?

• 35:40Speaker 05

  Way better. You know, that's why he stopped, uh, the dwarves from appearing in the, the Disney Snow White movie.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  That was him. He shut that down, huh?

• 35:49Speaker 05

  Shut that down, the Marc Baron podcast.

• 35:50Andrew Santino?

  Some guy wanna, some guys wanna take all the shine.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  All, all of it. And then here is, here is poetic justice. I don't know if you saw the Razzie Awards.

• 35:59Andrew Santino?

  I did not.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  I usually try to catch them every year. This year, uh, I, I believe worst, uh, special effects was the CGI dwarves. From that Disney movie, worst, worst acting by an ensemble.

• 36:15Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  The dwarves.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  In your face, Dinklage.

• 36:18Speaker 05

  In your fucking face.

• 36:20Andrew Santino?

  Checkmate, Dinklage. So you have beef with Dinklage?

• 36:21Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. I got strong beef with Dinklage.

• 36:24Andrew Santino?

  Could you imagine what, in a, in a street fight with Dink?

• 36:26Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm taking him out.

• 36:27Andrew Santino?

  You think you'd take him down?

• 36:28Speaker 05

  I'm taking out Dink. I wrestled in high school, buddy.

• 36:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you did. What'd you wrestle at, 45?

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  They dropped the one.

• 36:36Speaker 05

  Kilos? I don't know. What is that?

• 36:39Andrew Santino?

  What did you wrestle in high school?

• 36:40Speaker 05

  Uh, 103s.

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  103, dude.

• 36:42Speaker 05

  Light as a feather, dude. It was great, cuz I'm, I'm built pretty much how I'm built now, a little thinner. And then, uh, when, whenever a kid would be in the 103s, he'd be in like, he'd, he'd, he'd be a noodle.

• 36:54Andrew Santino?

  Right, skinny, skinny, skinny.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  He'd just be coming in, he would see me like, oh, this is gonna go well.

• 36:57Andrew Santino?

  What was your record? You were nasty, huh?

• 36:59Speaker 05

  I was nasty, I was.

• 37:00Andrew Santino?

  You know Bobby was nasty, you know, I don't, we talk about this sometimes, people joke around, people like, Bobby's not athletic. Bobby was nasty in high school wrestling.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  Oh, was, was Bo, was Bobby a wrestler?

• 37:09Andrew Santino?

  Bobby and his brother, well, his brother actually was, I think his brother was even better.

• 37:12Speaker 05

  Wow, okay, so that's.

• 37:14Andrew Santino?

  You should wrestle him, dude.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  Uh, because I know he talked, that's about me on, uh, one of his podcasts. Not, not Bad Friends.

• 37:20Andrew Santino?

  On Tiger?

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, on Tiger, where he said that, that he could beat me in a wrestling match. And I instinctively just said, of course you cannot. But, but, but then, you tell me you wrestled in high school, so he's got.

• 37:31Andrew Santino?

  He, he does have it in there, but again, he's also 54 years old.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  He is, he's an, but he's an Asian 54.

• 37:38Speaker 00

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• 38:59Speaker 00

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• 39:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, Asian 54 can mean one of two things. It can either mean he's 106 on the inside and looks 54. You know what I mean? Like, that's a loose...

• 39:21Speaker 05

  Or you got that like, oh, oh, he's Jet Li 54, where he's like, oh no, he's 27.

• 39:27Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 39:28Speaker 05

  Like, so it just depends.

• 39:29Andrew Santino?

  We really never know.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  You know what? I think me and Bobby should open up for one of those Jake Paul fights.

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you could. He knows Jake Paul, right? He did his podcast or whatever.

• 39:38Speaker 05

  Did he?

• 39:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he did. I think he went down to like Dominican Republic or wherever they live.

• 39:42Speaker 06

  No, it was Florida.

• 39:42Andrew Santino?

  Florida?

• 39:43Speaker 05

  Florida.

• 39:43Andrew Santino?

  I thought they lived somewhere else. Don't they live like in Cuba or DR or something?

• 39:46Speaker 06

  No, well, they went down for the Super Bowl party.

• 39:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's right. It was for the Super Bowl. That's right.

• 39:50Speaker 05

  Okay, so, there we go. Inside lane, we can make this happen. Brad, Brad versus Bobby, we'll call it the fight of the killer bees.

• 39:59Andrew Santino?

  Love this already, dude. It'll be only Wu-Tang playing the whole time. The whole time.

• 40:06Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I would love that, dude. Wouldn't that be nice?

• 40:08Speaker 05

  That would be so much fun.

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  This is the kind of stuff that people really want to see.

• 40:11Speaker 05

  Yes!

• 40:12Andrew Santino?

  Nobody needs, nobody needs another season of whatever TV show they're pumping out now.

• 40:17Speaker 05

  No, whatever weird reality show.

• 40:19Andrew Santino?

  I'm just trying to think of what, you know, I literally couldn't think of a TV show they're pumping out now. I don't even know TV anymore.

• 40:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, "Name a TV show." You're like, eh.

• 40:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, I know they're bringing back Scrubs, they're bringing back Malcolm in the Middle. They're like bringing back all these old school shows.

• 40:31Speaker 05

  Oh, you mean good, well-written shows?

• 40:33Andrew Santino?

  No, they're bringing them back, though. It's like, let that, lay it rest. Let it rest. Malcolm in the Middle is weird for me, though. Like, uh, Cranston? You don't need that.

• 40:41Speaker 05

  You got, oh, oh, yeah.

• 40:42Andrew Santino?

  You don't need that, Cranston.

• 40:44Speaker 06

  They also didn't have the balls to make Malcolm the president like they said they would in the finale.

• 40:47Andrew Santino?

  Didn't do it, huh? Pushed out. Pushed out.

• 40:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 06

  It's so great.

• 40:51Speaker 05

  Now.

• 40:52Speaker 06

  It's a great finale.

• 40:52Speaker 05

  I, yeah, I, but, yeah, they're bringing that back.

• 40:55Speaker 06

  Ah.

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I just think they're bringing back all the things that I'm like, come on, man, make something funny and weird and new.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:00Andrew Santino?

  Although other people are, there's other, there is shows that are getting sort of some traction, but none of them are traditional comedy or sitcom.

• 41:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, it's.

• 41:09Andrew Santino?

  Comedy's dead, dog.

• 41:10Speaker 05

  Well, cause it's living here.

• 41:12Andrew Santino?

  And it's right here and it's on YouTube right now. Please go watch live from Short Street.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:17Andrew Santino?

  Right now on YouTube.

• 41:18Speaker 06

  What if Brad and Bobby wrestled on our YouTube theater show?

• 41:21Andrew Santino?

  I actually think that could be a good thing. What do you mean for the Netflix as a joke fest?

• 41:23Speaker 06

  Netflix as a joke, Bad Friends Life.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  Ooh.

• 41:25Andrew Santino?

  Maybe that's a little hint. Maybe we're dropping little baby hints.

• 41:28Speaker 05

  I, I like it. Are, now, are we doing, uh, those comically large gloves? Are we doing those little dome balls where we could get like punted into the audience?

• 41:38Andrew Santino?

  No, it's gonna be it.

• 41:39Speaker 05

  And survive?

• 41:39Andrew Santino?

  Yes. It'll be like McDonald's Play Place. It'll be those, those, those multicolored softballs.

• 41:44Speaker 06

  Throwing them around like a balloon.

• 41:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:46Andrew Santino?

  Are you doing Netflix as a joke anything? Are you doing anything for the fest?

• 41:48Speaker 05

  Uh, I am not because I'm doing a, my own show in, uh, November, I think, in Los Angeles. I'm doing, I'm doing the Wiltern.

• 41:57Andrew Santino?

  You're playing the Wiltern?

• 41:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:58Andrew Santino?

  What a venue, dude.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  So I'm really excited about that.

• 42:00Andrew Santino?

  Have you played the Wiltern before?

• 42:01Speaker 05

  Uh, I've only gone there. I saw Tenacious D there.

• 42:05Andrew Santino?

  It's crazy.

• 42:06Speaker 05

  And now I'm playing the Wiltern, which is crazy.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  It's crazy to kind of have some of your, like, youthful form of yours come up in Los Angeles and then like that be the, it's cool.

• 42:12Speaker 05

  Well, cause I know you had that moment, we talked about it, where you played the Chicago Theater.

• 42:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 05

  And that's, like, we, we've both played that. You have sold more tickets than me. Uh, but, uh, yeah, it, it's.

• 42:23Andrew Santino?

  It's amazing.

• 42:24Speaker 05

  You just walk in there and you're like, I shouldn't be here.

• 42:27Andrew Santino?

  I saw Phantom of the Opera there. And then I'm up there telling poop fart crap jokes. And I'm like, this is crazy that this is our reality.

• 42:34Speaker 05

  I thought, I thought about that when I played the, uh, the, the Ryman Auditorium.

• 42:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, so stunning.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  Nashville where you're like, Johnny Cash has been on this stage.

• 42:43Andrew Santino?

  He's got a room upstairs. The room, the, the, the room. We, we sat in that room.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:47Andrew Santino?

  It was so powerful. When you do see some of the list of the names, like. It does do something to you mentally. You're like, man, this is kinda cool to think like I'm

• 42:54Speaker 05

  You got there.

• 42:54Andrew Santino?

  I'm gracing the stage of other people that I respected.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:57Andrew Santino?

  And they don't respect me.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  No.

• 42:59Andrew Santino?

  But that's fine. That's fine, dude.

• 43:01Speaker 05

  Cause if you play the Chicago Theater, everyone signs the backstage and they have

• 43:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 43:07Speaker 05

  Like laminated, sectioned off, like no one could fuck this up. They have Frank Sinatra's.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  McCartney's up there.

• 43:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:15Andrew Santino?

  They've got a couple that are, nobody can touch.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  And you're just sitting there like, "I'm playing this thing."

• 43:19Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy.

• 43:19Speaker 05

  "I'm playing this thing." And you would just imagine Frank looking at our stuff and going, "The fuck are they doing down there?"

• 43:26Andrew Santino?

  Who's that little guy? Who the fuck is that? The redheaded guy? Sick, gross, pick him out.

• 43:32Speaker 05

  They let them tell jokes now? What's up with the midget? They let him out of the zoo.

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  Whose is this? Somebody take this home with him. Dude.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Someone put a beard on a kid.

• 43:47Speaker 05

  Sinatra would hate me.

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  Sinatra would hate all of us.

• 43:50Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 43:50Andrew Santino?

  Well, he actually did have an affinity for stand-ups. You know that. Tom Dreesen, a buddy.

• 43:53Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:54Andrew Santino?

  Family friend.

• 43:54Speaker 05

  Dreesen?

• 43:55Andrew Santino?

  Who we love. Dreesen opened for him for years and years, dude, and

• 43:57Speaker 05

  Rickles?

• 43:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I mean, he loved stand-ups. They loved stand-ups. So, I think they would have enjoyed us, but we weren't their style of humor.

• 44:04Speaker 05

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 44:12Andrew Santino?

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• 44:54Andrew Santino?

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• 45:39Andrew Santino?

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• 46:50Speaker 05

  Did you ever get a chance to meet Rickles?

• 46:52Andrew Santino?

  Never did.

• 46:53Speaker 05

  So, I got a cool Don Rickles story.

• 46:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, give it to me.

• 46:56Speaker 05

  I got, I got to meet him, uh, I, I got to meet him twice, but the first time, uh, I got cast on Jimmy Kimmel, not to do stand-up, but to do-

• 47:06Andrew Santino?

  A sketch?

• 47:06Speaker 05

  A sketch.

• 47:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 05

  And I go, "Hey, who's the, who's the guest tonight?" I'm just making conversation while, while rehearsing. They're like, "Don Rickles." And I'm like, "I am going to meet Don Rickles." And they're like, "You're not gonna meet Don Rickles?" He comes in, he does the thing, he leaves. And I go, "Well, where does he leave?" He goes, "Out the tunnel that everybody..." And I'm like, "I'm gonna go to that tunnel." So I do the sketch, haul ass down to the tunnel. I'm still in my costume, which I, I played a basketball player, 'cause like the Clippers were bad and they're like-

• 47:35Andrew Santino?

  Naturally, you'd play a basketball player.

• 47:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, and they're like, and the whole gag was like, "And the Clippers are signing some new people." And then I come out, eh, you know.

• 47:42Andrew Santino?

  That's good. Good bit.

• 47:43Speaker 05

  Good gag. So I'm, I'm there, and I'm just waiting in that tunnel, and here, and here, and here comes Rickles. He's coming down that tunnel, and I see Don Rickles, and, and he's a legend. I, I, I freeze. I don't know what to say. And he, he, he, he stops, and he just looks at me, looks me up and down, and goes, "Stop smoking."

• 48:07Andrew Santino?

  That's so good.

• 48:08Speaker 05

  And, uh, I got to get a photo with him, and it was great. It's one of my, it's, it's one of my most prized possessions. That's, that's the thing you jump in and grab in a fire.

• 48:16Andrew Santino?

  Stop smoking.

• 48:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, stop smoking. Cause, and got, and guys like that, I love because Rickles was always like-

• 48:23Andrew Santino?

  Lightning fast.

• 48:24Speaker 05

  "I'm Don fucking Rickles. I'm, if someone meets me just on the street, they're gonna get a moment."

• 48:29Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 48:30Speaker 05

  They're gonna get a story. And he always had the joke, always had a line. So yeah, Don, that, that's one of my all-time comedy memories.

• 48:37Andrew Santino?

  That was like your, that was like a legend moment for you.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:40Andrew Santino?

  Like you, like you, did you love him when you were a kid?

• 48:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, I loved him, and I loved, uh, Robin, and I got, I got to meet Robin. Robin, I was onstage at this little theater just, uh, north of San Francisco in Mil, in Mill Valley.

• 48:54Andrew Santino?

  He's talking about Robin Wright Penn for people that are curious.

• 48:56Speaker 05

  Yes, love Robin Wright Penn.

• 48:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:57Speaker 05

  Princess Bride. Uh, love it.

• 48:59Andrew Santino?

  Like Wesley.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  As you wish. And I'm doing the Throckmorton Theater, and I didn't know this, but Robin was there. He was in, he was-

• 49:07Andrew Santino?

  He was in the audience?

• 49:08Speaker 05

  Not like sitting, but like-

• 49:10Andrew Santino?

  Just hang- hanging out.

• 49:11Speaker 05

  In, in, in, in the back, and he saw my set. And I'm really glad I didn't know that he was there, because I would've-

• 49:16Andrew Santino?

  Who's that fucked you up?

• 49:16Speaker 05

  Would've freaked out. And I go back to the green room, and I've never met him before, he bursts in the green room, and I'm like, "Oh, what the fu-" It's, it's the fucking, it's Miss Doubtfire. "Hello!" Like, you're just coming at me. And he walks right up to me, and goes, "Oh my god, Mr. Williams, you're like Prozac with a head."

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, what a line. Prozac with a head.

• 49:35Speaker 05

  Prozac with a head.

• 49:36Andrew Santino?

  That is so good.

• 49:37Speaker 05

  That'll be another special. We're tallying my next three specials-

• 49:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we got them all lined up.

• 49:41Speaker 05

  But yeah-

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  He was the man.

• 49:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's a, and then he, we talked for a bit, and then he invited me to his show the next day.

• 49:49Andrew Santino?

  Same theater, is it?

• 49:50Speaker 05

  Same, same theater. That, that was his workout room. So, he's do- he, he's doing a show there, and he's like, "Yeah, I'll, I'll leave a couple tickets for you." And we walk into the theater, me and my opening act, a comic named Jeff Keith, and uh-

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, I know Jeff.

• 50:06Speaker 05

  And we see two reserved signs in the very front row. And this theater holds like a hundred and fifty people. It's a small theater.

• 50:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  And we're walking in like, "This is Mill Valley, California. There's a lot of money-

• 50:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's a lot of money up there.

• 50:20Speaker 05

  -in this room to see Robin in a small theater." And we know that when people see reserved front row, they're like, "Is Spielberg showing up?"

• 50:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:29Speaker 05

  Fucking, I just walked out.

• 50:34Speaker 05

  They see me, they're like, "Ah, you gave it to a Make-A-Wish kid."

• 50:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 05

  "That's nice."

• 50:38Andrew Santino?

  "When are you dying, young man?" "No, no, I'm an adult male. Sure, yes, you, in your head, you can be anything you wanna be."

• 50:46Speaker 05

  You bitch, and that, and, aw, and I definitely looked the part, because that was before I had the beard too.

• 50:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, when you're clean shaven, it's a different world.

• 50:52Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm, I, I look like-

• 50:54Andrew Santino?

  I hate it.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  I, I, so does my wife. That's why I have the beard.

• 50:58Andrew Santino?

  Dude, me too. I have a, if I don't have this, it's a face that people are like, "Good Christ."

• 51:03Speaker 05

  Well, what are you doing?

• 51:04Andrew Santino?

  Put a bag over it.

• 51:04Speaker 05

  Yeah. No, I, I gotta keep this beard on.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  This is God's camouflage.

• 51:08Speaker 05

  Yeah. It really confuses the other kids at the school when I drop my daughter off. Because I'm like walking up, and then I say-

• 51:14Andrew Santino?

  That guy's always skipping school.

• 51:17Speaker 05

  "He's such a cool kid." "How did he get a car?" "He stole a car."

• 51:24Speaker 05

  I'm just dropping my daughter off.

• 51:27Speaker 05

  Sometimes.

• 51:29Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit.

• 51:30Speaker 05

  My daughter has this like really, you know, she's six, she has a gir- she has a girly backpack. She has a hard time getting it upstairs, cause it's one of those rolly backpacks.

• 51:40Andrew Santino?

  The rolly ones, yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 05

  So, I pick it up, but then sometimes I just, you know, I keep carrying it up to the front of the school until

• 51:46Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 51:46Speaker 05

  Until she goes in. Every time I walk with that backpack, there's always a kid that's like looking at me like, Wait.

• 51:52Andrew Santino?

  What's up with the new guy?

• 51:53Speaker 05

  What? In that backpack?

• 51:57Andrew Santino?

  It is 2026, dude.

• 51:58Speaker 05

  Hey, you know, uh, don't ask me my pronouns.

• 52:01Andrew Santino?

  Don't ask me my pronouns.

• 52:03Speaker 05

  I got some very, it's very-

• 52:04Andrew Santino?

  Your pronouns are down here.

• 52:10Speaker 05

  Hello? Hello?

• 52:13Andrew Santino?

  That's gotta be amazing though. Six, six, six is rad. Six is like a-

• 52:16Speaker 05

  Six is cool.

• 52:16Andrew Santino?

  Six is an age where you're like, still fantasy, there's still, she still probably has all that whimsy of the world. Like she's not that polluted with-

• 52:24Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  Negativity and bullshit.

• 52:27Speaker 05

  And we live in a, you know, a nice neighborhood where the kid, the kids are all good. She's not, you know, she's not being bullied. She's got a bunch of friends.

• 52:34Andrew Santino?

  Have you approached this yet? Has this happened? This like, she's, she comes to you and says, somebody's bullying me?

• 52:39Speaker 05

  Uh, oh, there was one kid.

• 52:42Andrew Santino?

  Cause we want people to cry at some point in the pod.

• 52:43Speaker 05

  There was one kid.

• 52:45Andrew Santino?

  One son of a bitch.

• 52:46Speaker 05

  Let me tell you about this kid. There was one kid.

• 52:49Andrew Santino?

  Call him out by full name, we'll put his social up.

• 52:51Speaker 05

  Dude, uh, she, she got home from school and we're like, how was school today? And she goes, it was good.

• 52:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh no.

• 53:00Speaker 05

  Until the kid's name pushed me down. And I'm like,

• 53:06Speaker 05

  Pushed you down?

• 53:07Andrew Santino?

  Put like, threw her down?

• 53:08Speaker 05

  Pushed you down?

• 53:09Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 53:10Speaker 05

  Hold on.

• 53:11Andrew Santino?

  Wahapa, wahapa.

• 53:13Speaker 05

  And then, uh, you know, cause you know this, but for the listeners, uh, my wife is a martial arts instructor.

• 53:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she, yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 05

  So she's-

• 53:20Andrew Santino?

  She would kill most people we know.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  She is a weapon.

• 53:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 53:24Speaker 05

  And she, and she's like, alright. And she, and she immediately gets on the phone, she's like, who's, who's gonna die in the next 24 hours? And-

• 53:31Andrew Santino?

  Tarantino's like, I have to make this move.

• 53:35Speaker 05

  But yeah, we had to have a meeting with the kid and the parents. Thankfully, the parents were really cool, like they were horrified. And they were like, we're sorry.

• 53:46Andrew Santino?

  What was the kid's reasoning? Was he just, was he being a dick? Just flirting?

• 53:50Speaker 05

  What? It might have been.

• 53:52Andrew Santino?

  A lot of times, it's like push you down, punch you, hurt you, little kids, because they like each other.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  It's weird.

• 53:57Speaker 05

  It's a weird thing. You know, because you ask a kid, you ask a five year old, why'd you do that? They just kind of go, I don't know.

• 54:04Andrew Santino?

  They don't know.

• 54:04Speaker 05

  Because they don't know, they're like, I had, I saw something I could push over.

• 54:09Andrew Santino?

  Valid reasoning.

• 54:11Speaker 05

  I can't push over that kid. What, you want to push over the big kid?

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  But the kid, was the kid at least remorseful of that?

• 54:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:18Speaker 05

  So, it's fine. That's the only, that's the only event that happened, but for the most part, yeah, it's great. And six, she's like, dude, you take her to a zoo, an aquarium.

• 54:32Andrew Santino?

  You take her to a zoo, I'm not taking her to a zoo.

• 54:33Speaker 05

  No, you take her.

• 54:34Andrew Santino?

  No, you take her to a zoo.

• 54:34Speaker 05

  Give me an afternoon off.

• 54:35Andrew Santino?

  Alright, fine.

• 54:36Speaker 05

  I'm trying to have sex with my wife for once. Without having to be silent, just like, shh.

• 54:41Andrew Santino?

  Quiet.

• 54:42Speaker 05

  Quiet?

• 54:43Andrew Santino?

  Be quiet.

• 54:43Speaker 05

  God, you know, you've got a kid.

• 54:46Andrew Santino?

  Mom, dad.

• 54:47Speaker 05

  Ah!

• 54:47Andrew Santino?

  Nothing.

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Nothing.

• 54:49Andrew Santino?

  Well, what is it, you take her to a zoo, you take her to an aquarium, you take her somewhere?

• 54:51Speaker 05

  She just sees something and she's just like, just.

• 54:54Andrew Santino?

  Enamored.

• 54:55Speaker 05

  Utter awe of it, and it's just, it's so cool.

• 54:57Andrew Santino?

  Don't you wish you still felt that?

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:00Andrew Santino?

  When you saw something spectacular? We run out of, I think we run out of like fantasy points as an adult. We lose the, the wow factor should be bigger still for us.

• 55:09Speaker 05

  Right.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  But we lose it.

• 55:11Speaker 05

  The wow factor for me now comes watching her watch something.

• 55:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 55:16Speaker 05

  That's the wow factor.

• 55:17Andrew Santino?

  That is very cool.

• 55:18Speaker 05

  So like, I was doing a gig in Vegas and brought the family out. I play the lovely Venetian.

• 55:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, good for you, huh?

• 55:27Speaker 05

  At the Palazzo Theater.

• 55:28Andrew Santino?

  Palazzo.

• 55:28Speaker 05

  It's very nice, they give me tickets to the Sphere.

• 55:30Andrew Santino?

  You know the little guy's at the Palazzo?

• 55:33Speaker 05

  At the Palazzo.

• 55:34Andrew Santino?

  Sebastian's gonna be like, dude, shut the fuck up. Stop doing that crap.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Why are you doing me?

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's gonna be so annoyed. I gave him a good compliment at the beginning of this, then he's gonna be like, "I heard you then, you wouldn't shut up about me."

• 55:44Speaker 05

  We all, we all do it sometimes.

• 55:45Andrew Santino?

  He's the best.

• 55:46Speaker 05

  Uh, but, uh, uh, you know, brought the family out to Vegas. We had a nice lunch out front. There's a restaurant where you can look at the Bellagio fountains.

• 55:55Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 55:56Speaker 05

  And we're just sitting there and the Bellagio fountains start going and my daughter's just, "Whoa."

• 56:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:03Speaker 05

  And she's just, and I, I started crying.

• 56:06Andrew Santino?

  That's nice.

• 56:07Speaker 05

  I started, I started literally crying because my kid's like, and I'm here at the fancy restaurant like, "I brought you here, you're here." Because I was able to bring you here. And she's having this moment of discovery. I'm like, "This is the, this is the greatest." And then I immediately had to bottle those tears because dwarf tears cure cancer.

• 56:22Andrew Santino?

  They do. That's, and we do know, RFK has said that before.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  If we could just round up the dwarfs, we'd be able to cure cancer. If we could have, if we could just make dwarfs cry, then we, then we'll have no cancer. What? Don't look, can you laugh till you cry? We don't know what ginger tears cure. I don't know, that might be-

• 56:40Andrew Santino?

  We cause cancer, you cure it? Ginger tears just make people like, automatically.

• 56:46Speaker 05

  There's a ginger water balloon and then a dwarf water balloon. Hold on, experiment. Splash, splash.

• 56:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 05

  They're totally cured. They're, they're totally cured.

• 56:56Andrew Santino?

  But it's a beautiful moment. They get, you get to see that through her eyes.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, that, tho- those are the kind of things now, like, uh, the, I'm, I'm getting her into hockey.

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, oh, really?

• 57:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, she likes hockey.

• 57:08Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 57:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, because I, because-

• 57:10Andrew Santino?

  You like hockey, but you're a big baseball, football guy.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I like a lot of sports. I like, I like baseball, like football, but I like hockey. And I love the fact that I'm a Ducks fan.

• 57:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 57:21Speaker 05

  Because if I was a Kings fan, now there's all these celebrities in front of me that are way more famous, way more powerful. They're like, "All right, we can't give you anything because Will Ferrell's gonna play the referee tonight." You know, or, you know, Ju- Justin Bieber or whatever the hell. So it's like, but then you become a Ducks fan. There's no celebrity talk.

• 57:41Andrew Santino?

  No celebrity talk.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  So you show up like, you know, a D-Lister like myself, and they're like, "Right this way, Mr. Williams." "Would you like to play tonight, Mr. Williams?"

• 57:50Andrew Santino?

  We need a backup.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  "We need a right winger, Mr. Williams. Coach the team, call a play." So yeah, the Ducks treat me really good.

• 57:57Andrew Santino?

  It's good to be a mascot of a team that hasn't been, you know, what is that called? Hasn't been like, already consumed by the fame media.

• 58:06Speaker 05

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  You know, like, they're still open. Like, they haven't been, it hasn't been, you know, accosted by fame.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  Exactly. Like, that's why, like, I'm also a Broncos fan. Broncos treat me really great. Now, if I was a Chiefs fan like you are, that, I'm in line.

• 58:21Andrew Santino?

  See what he's doing there? He's just starting shit. He's just starting shit.

• 58:24Speaker 05

  Between, like, Wriggle, Stone Street, obviously, all the Swifties.

• 58:29Andrew Santino?

  He knows I'm a Bears fan. He's doing this just to poke me.

• 58:31Speaker 05

  Cause your best friend, your best friend Travis.

• 58:33Andrew Santino?

  He's a friend, he's a friend of the family.

• 58:35Speaker 05

  He's a good guy, that Travis. You know what? And he is a good guy.

• 58:37Andrew Santino?

  He's a great dude.

• 58:38Speaker 05

  I'm not gonna talk shit about that guy.

• 58:39Andrew Santino?

  I do, you know what? I am a diehard Chicago Bears fan. I do love the Chiefs because I have a couple of friends that play football for them, so sue me. Sue me.

• 58:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I.

• 58:47Andrew Santino?

  Don't sue me, by the way. Please don't sue me. Such an insane thing.

• 58:50Speaker 05

  It's really great. Chicago, Chiefs, both start with C. You don't even have to change out those little C hats.

• 58:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, and Chicago's big on native stuff, dude. The Blackhawks, the Fighting Illini. We're all in on native, dude.

• 59:00Speaker 05

  So it, it, it, it just fits. Bro, I was at the Comedy Store one time.

• 59:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 05

  And in the chairs in the back of the original room, you know, for those don't know, it's reserved for comics.

• 59:10Andrew Santino?

  There's a row of chairs that are in the, in the original room there, and Mitzi used to sit in one of them and watch and criticize heavily. And then other comics would sit there and, and hope that she liked some of their shit.

• 59:22Speaker 05

  Yep. And I'm, I'm sitting there one night, and, and then all of a sudden, the security comes over and says, "Hey, we gotta clear out these chairs." And I start to get up, and they went, "No, no, Brad, you, you can stay."

• 59:35Andrew Santino?

  You're a comic, yeah.

• 59:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're a comic. It was some other people that were like, friends of people, but they cleared them out. And I'm like, "Oh, okay." So I sit there, and I'm still watching. And then this behemoth of a monstrosity of an individual.

• 59:48Andrew Santino?

  He's just a guy that was 5'10".

• 59:51Speaker 05

  This giant of a man sits down and he blocked out all the lights as he walked across. It got dark.

• 59:58Andrew Santino?

  Cause an eclipse?

• 59:59Speaker 05

  What the hell? And he sits down, he just looks right at me, puts out his hand and goes, "Hey, I'm Travis." And it was-

• 1:00:06Andrew Santino?

  Trav, yeah.

• 1:00:07Speaker 05

  It was Trav Kels.

• 1:00:09Andrew Santino?

  Travis Kelsey, yeah.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trav Kels. I call-

• 1:00:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you got him by, yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Andrew Santino?

  Good for you.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  I use the original pronunciation.

• 1:00:15Andrew Santino?

  That's right. That's right.

• 1:00:16Speaker 05

  Trav Kels. And he goes, "Hey, I'm Travis." I go, "Hey, I'm Brad." He goes, "Yeah, you're friends with Cheeto."

• 1:00:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:23Speaker 05

  And I'm like, "Yeah." He goes, "Well, I gotta tell you, I'm a Broncos fan, so I'm sorry." And he looks at me and goes, "Nobody's perfect."

• 1:00:32Speaker 05

  And I'm like, "Damn, and he's got lines."

• 1:00:34Andrew Santino?

  He's good. He's got the bars, dude. He's got the ammunition. No, he's a great dude. Hall of Famer, a great man, a great ballplayer.

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, so ever since that, I'm like, "Now I can't hate you."

• 1:00:44Andrew Santino?

  No, you cannot.

• 1:00:45Speaker 05

  "Now I can't cheer if you get fucking-"

• 1:00:46Andrew Santino?

  You could try to hate-

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  Double cut.

• 1:00:48Andrew Santino?

  You know, there's some people you meet over the course of time, you're like, "Good luck hating them because they're pretty cool and nice."

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  I went, have you ever had that moment where you met someone that you thought you were gonna hate?

• 1:00:57Andrew Santino?

  You!

• 1:00:58Speaker 05

  Yeah. And then I just turned out to be adorable.

• 1:01:01Andrew Santino?

  I have multiple times, thought I was gonna dislike some, not hate them, but I thought I'd be like, "I don't really like that person." Then I met him and I go, "I was wrong."

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was a-

• 1:01:08Andrew Santino?

  And I've had the opposite more, where I'm like, "I like that person," then you meet him and you're like, "Fuck that guy, dude. Oh my god, that guy stinks."

• 1:01:15Speaker 05

  Dude, I ran into, years ago, ran into Ryan Cabrera-

• 1:01:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, the singer, at The Laugh Factory. And he had like huge spiky hair-

• 1:01:25Andrew Santino?

  I remember that, yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  He had a hit, "All the way down," and it was like-

• 1:01:29Andrew Santino?

  It was popular.

• 1:01:30Speaker 05

  Not my cup of tea.

• 1:01:32Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't drink tea.

• 1:01:34Speaker 05

  Sat there and talked to him after the show. I'm like, "Holy shit, you're a cool dude."

• 1:01:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's probably very nice.

• 1:01:39Speaker 05

  He's very nice. We're still friends to this day.

• 1:01:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 05

  And he's just a great guy.

• 1:01:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it happens more often than not. You would think that the public presentation of someone oftentimes dilutes the truth of what actually they are because you are who people make you out to be, whether or not that's, sometimes that's out of people's control.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Andrew Santino?

  Some people, that's who they wanna be perceived as, so that's who they are.

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  Some people, it's like, no, no, no, I'm doing this as an image thing to be like-

• 1:02:04Andrew Santino?

  Correct. You can kinda feel it when you meet someone, you go, "Oh, they're in the thing."

• 1:02:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Andrew Santino?

  I get that, yeah.

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  They're doing a bit.

• 1:02:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like, like, you know who, you know who's exactly who he is?

• 1:02:13Speaker 05

  Who's that?

• 1:02:13Andrew Santino?

  Whether you like it or not, is Johnny Manziel. I met that kid, he's exactly who he is, man. He's fun, he's loud, he's brash, he'll tell you straight up shit, like, he's no f- no faking, no phony. That's who he is.

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  I respect it.

• 1:02:24Andrew Santino?

  I like that, that he's just like, "Yeah, fuck it, you don't like me, big deal." I'm like, "That's great, dude." He's got that heart, so, some people are who they are, and some people are who they're, they think they should be. And then the real gems are people who are kinda quiet, move seamlessly, and then you meet them, you're like, "That guy was great."

• 1:02:42Speaker 05

  Dude, uh, I was doing a show in Nashville one time, and, uh, Chris Kirkpatrick from N'Sync.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  Came out to the show, and he wanted to like, he goes, "Dude, we gotta hang out."

• 1:02:53Andrew Santino?

  Create a boy band together.

• 1:02:54Speaker 05

  And I'm like, "All right." And he goes, "No, no, like, tonight."

• 1:02:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:02:57Speaker 05

  And I'm like, "All right."

• 1:02:59Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:02:59Speaker 05

  He goes, "There's this bar, I know, like, come on." So, so we go, me and Chris, and we go to this dive bar in Nashville, and there's a karaoke machine. And I, and I go, "I can't pass this up."

• 1:03:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  You know, so I go, I put my name in, and then the, then the announcer goes, "All right, next is, uh, Brad and Chris." Brad and Chris.

• 1:03:20Andrew Santino?

  And you do this thing where you're like, "What, what? What?"

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  It's, uh, yeah, it's the Will Ferrell scene from, from Anchorman, where he's like, "Oh, I, I would never play jazz flute, hold on."

• 1:03:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, pull it out, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 05

  So, I was, I was like, "Oh, Chris, I guess we're singing, okay." And then, we, we go up and he goes, "What song, what, what song are we singing?" And then the opening notes from "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys come on.

• 1:03:45Andrew Santino?

  For sure, dude.

• 1:03:46Speaker 05

  Cause I'm an asshole.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, heavy troll, heavy troll, heavy troll.

• 1:03:48Speaker 05

  And, Chris goes, "You think I'm upset?" And he sings the shit out of it.

• 1:03:54Andrew Santino?

  He probably killed it.

• 1:03:55Speaker 05

  He killed it.

• 1:03:56Andrew Santino?

  Of course, dude.

• 1:03:56Speaker 05

  Dude can sing.

• 1:03:58Andrew Santino?

  I mean, that, but this is the thing, is like, if he's fu- if that, if he has fun with it, awesome. If he's bothered by it, loser.

• 1:04:04Speaker 05

  Exactly. Now, now I know I can't be friends with you.

• 1:04:07Andrew Santino?

  Right, you're not cool, you're not fun.

• 1:04:08Speaker 05

  Exactly, like, if you, i- i- i- i- if, if we were doing something, and then you announce to a crowd, like, "Hey, here's wee man from Jackass, he'll kick himself in the head." That's funny.

• 1:04:19Andrew Santino?

  That's funny, dude.

• 1:04:19Speaker 05

  That's funny.

• 1:04:20Andrew Santino?

  Funny. Have I said that before? It sounds like I've said that before.

• 1:04:23Speaker 05

  You may have said that before.

• 1:04:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, okay. It sounds like, it sounds like we were hanging out one night.

• 1:04:26Speaker 05

  You may have thrown a stapler at me and been like, "He will staple his nuts to his leg." "He will do it. Watch him do it."

• 1:04:33Andrew Santino?

  I can see you and me at a bar and some girl is like, "Who is that?" I'm like, "That's Wee Man. Go say hi." A hundred percent, dude. I'm like, "Go say hi to Wee Man. He's the best. He'll sign whatever you want."

• 1:04:42Speaker 05

  He's the best. I love when people think I'm Wee Man, because then I'm like, "Oh, I could say anything I want now."

• 1:04:46Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:04:48Speaker 05

  Wee Man has a horrible reputation.

• 1:04:50Andrew Santino?

  They're like, "Wee Man," you're like, "You know, I hate blacks and Asians," and you just go off on a rant.

• 1:04:55Speaker 05

  I just go off.

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  Dude, Wee Man's racist, dude.

• 1:04:57Speaker 05

  He's racist. That was fuck.

• 1:04:59Andrew Santino?

  Crazy, dude.

• 1:04:59Speaker 05

  And his last, his real last name's Acuna. I think he's Latino. Hate him.

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Hate him.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Get him all out. Build that wall. Build it three times higher.

• 1:05:08Andrew Santino?

  He is actually a good dude.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  He's a good dude, too.

• 1:05:11Andrew Santino?

  Turns out.

• 1:05:12Speaker 05

  I, uh, I did a movie with him. Uh, did, uh, Spinal Tap 2 with him.

• 1:05:16Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, yeah, that's right.

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, and it's great.

• 1:05:18Andrew Santino?

  Because you also did, um, Christopher Guest, the other movie, Mascots. Yeah, Mascots.

• 1:05:23Speaker 05

  Mascots on Netflix. So Christopher Guest got me into Mas- into, uh, Spinal Tap 2. And, uh, me and, me and Wee Man play the Druids, uh, for Stonehenge.

• 1:05:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:34Speaker 05

  No lines.

• 1:05:35Andrew Santino?

  Don't need it.

• 1:05:36Speaker 05

  Don't need it.

• 1:05:37Andrew Santino?

  It's funny as shit.

• 1:05:37Speaker 05

  You need funny dwarves?

• 1:05:39Andrew Santino?

  You need, Christopher Guest has, still has a comedy touch of gold.

• 1:05:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Andrew Santino?

  Like, he still gets, whether you like subversive comedy as a whole, that's a subjective thing. Some people don't like these kind of insidey things.

• 1:05:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's okay.

• 1:05:52Andrew Santino?

  But I think that kind of stuff just always tickles me, dude.

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  It's so much fun. Like, yeah, and, uh...

• 1:05:56Andrew Santino?

  Small comedy. And that's the name of your next special.

• 1:05:59Speaker 05

  That's the name of my next special?

• 1:05:59Andrew Santino?

  Small comedy.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  That's another one, right after Prozac with a Head.

• 1:06:02Andrew Santino?

  I just like, I like small stuff that he's always done. It really makes me laugh that he does, like, little tiny layered jokes. They're kind of hidden sometimes, or they're like,

• 1:06:09Speaker 05

  Hey, if you get it. Great.

• 1:06:11Andrew Santino?

  If not.

• 1:06:12Speaker 05

  If you don't, that's okay.

• 1:06:13Andrew Santino?

  Nobody cares.

• 1:06:13Speaker 05

  There's other jokes for you.

• 1:06:14Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  But yeah, so I, I got to do, yeah, I got, I got to do a movie with, uh, Wee Man, which I'm really stoked, because people finally realize we're not the same.

• 1:06:22Andrew Santino?

  Not the same guy.

• 1:06:22Speaker 05

  Fucking person.

• 1:06:24Andrew Santino?

  Sebastian Wee Man. Little Sebastian.

• 1:06:27Speaker 05

  We Sebastian, that's my character on SNL.

• 1:06:29Andrew Santino?

  We Sebastian.

• 1:06:29Speaker 05

  We Sebastian.

• 1:06:30Andrew Santino?

  That's so funny.

• 1:06:32Speaker 05

  I can't get a stepladder.

• 1:06:35Andrew Santino?

  Sebastian Maness Smallco. Maness Smallco! There it was.

• 1:06:40Speaker 05

  Right there.

• 1:06:41Andrew Santino?

  There it fucking was.

• 1:06:42Speaker 05

  I can't ride a roller coaster.

• 1:06:46Andrew Santino?

  And you literally can't.

• 1:06:47Speaker 05

  I can't go up and down, and up and down. Are you, I was waiting for it to break.

• 1:06:52Andrew Santino?

  I thought it was gonna crack. I thought it was gonna crack.

• 1:06:55Speaker 05

  I got a big, I got a big ass.

• 1:06:57Andrew Santino?

  You do have a big shitter. People don't know that. Brad's got a badonkadonk.

• 1:07:00Speaker 05

  It is.

• 1:07:00Andrew Santino?

  When we would go, we went bowling at the Roosevelt.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:03Andrew Santino?

  And, uh, this, all his power, he's got, the guy's got great ball speed. All the power's derived from that shitter.

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 1:07:09Andrew Santino?

  This guy's turd cutter is unbelievable. I mean, dude, he's sitting on a bomb, dude.

• 1:07:14Speaker 05

  It is. It's got, it's got a lot of power. That, that's where all the power comes from, my golf swing. When we were like Brad, you know, what, he hit it like fifty, sixty yards?

• 1:07:21Andrew Santino?

  No, he can hit the golf ball, dude.

• 1:07:22Speaker 05

  I could fucking hit it, bro.

• 1:07:24Andrew Santino?

  He can stripe it, dude.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  It comes all in the fucking ass.

• 1:07:26Andrew Santino?

  It's all in the hips, in the ass.

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  All in the ass. You know? Hell, it's great, man. I love it.

• 1:07:32Andrew Santino?

  Your old man, big golfer too. He was a big golfer, right?

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He, yeah, he got me into it. Uh, played a lot. He, he, he'd make the same two jokes every time we played golf. Uh, I bet you could guess one of them. I bet you can guess one of them. What's a joke you'd make about me playing golf?

• 1:07:51Andrew Santino?

  Uh, I mean, dude, so many things are coming to my mind! So many things.

• 1:07:56Speaker 05

  He, he would say like, uh, like we'd be walking and he's, he was a member of this course in Long Beach. And, uh, he would know all the other members, whatever. He'd be like, hey, you know, my kid's playing golf. Hey, hey, hey, ask my kid what his handicap is.

• 1:08:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there it is.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  And then he'd go, what's your handicap? And I'd go, dwarfism, you son of a bitch. You know, it was always-

• 1:08:17Andrew Santino?

  He'd tee you up.

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  Always great. Always great. He would do that. And then, uh, and then- People would see him and be like, "Hey." His name's Pete. And he goes, "Hey Pete, your kid's playing golf." He's like, "Yeah, drives the bell good, but hell of a short game on that kid."

• 1:08:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:08:32Speaker 05

  Hell of a short game. Same two jokes.

• 1:08:34Andrew Santino?

  Same two jokes. And they crush every time.

• 1:08:36Speaker 05

  Every time.

• 1:08:37Andrew Santino?

  They never missed.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  They never missed.

• 1:08:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:39Speaker 05

  Why would you not say the thing that's gonna bring joy to people?

• 1:08:42Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:08:43Speaker 05

  That's why whenever like a comic gets known for like a catchphrase or something,

• 1:08:47Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:47Speaker 05

  and then doesn't wanna do it.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:49Speaker 05

  I'm like, "Why?" You say-

• 1:08:51Andrew Santino?

  Just do it.

• 1:08:52Speaker 05

  You say the phrase, you know, you get to walk out on stage and be like, "What's in the whiskey?" And then everyone fucking explodes. Fuck, the streamers go off.

• 1:09:02Andrew Santino?

  Someone's just like, "Ah!" "Ah, that's all I wanted."

• 1:09:05Speaker 05

  "That's worth the money right there. My life has peaked. Oh my god. Give me a catchphrase."

• 1:09:10Andrew Santino?

  What's your catchphrase?

• 1:09:12Speaker 05

  Uh, "Not in the ass."

• 1:09:14Andrew Santino?

  "Not in the ass." Brad Williams, "Not in the ass."

• 1:09:18Speaker 05

  That's my next special, after that one.

• 1:09:20Andrew Santino?

  This next special, uh, that's coming out, or this special that's out right now, I should say, your next special. Uh, I want everyone to do me a favor and go watch it.

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:30Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Brad is an old buddy of ours. He's a friend of family, friend of the show, and we love him very much. Um, and so please go watch the special right now on YouTube. Uh, like it and then share it. Do the thing. Send it to other people. And the more you comment and all that stuff, the more it gets pushed around.

• 1:09:44Speaker 05

  By the way, you wanna get into that TSA pre-check line in heaven?

• 1:09:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  I shared a dwarf's comedy special.

• 1:09:49Andrew Santino?

  God should give you a pass.

• 1:09:51Speaker 05

  Pretty much that gets you in.

• 1:09:53Andrew Santino?

  Gotta get you in.

• 1:09:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz you're like, "Oh, you've done some horrible things in your life, but you also shared a dwarf's comedy special." Which is like visiting kids in a hospital.

• 1:10:01Andrew Santino?

  Right. It's close.

• 1:10:03Speaker 05

  It's re-

• 1:10:04Andrew Santino?

  It's as close as you're gonna get.

• 1:10:05Speaker 05

  It's right up there.

• 1:10:06Andrew Santino?

  Help out the dwarf. Uh, do me a favor. Go watch it right now. He's got a child to feed.

• 1:10:11Speaker 05

  Support my child!

• 1:10:11Andrew Santino?

  Support his child. Go see him live as well. His website, of course, is, uh-

• 1:10:15Speaker 05

  BradWilliamsComedy.com.

• 1:10:17Andrew Santino?

  And none of it is in caps. It's all lowercase.

• 1:10:19Speaker 05

  All lowercase. All lowercase.

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  Uh, BradWilliamsComedy.com.

• 1:10:22Speaker 05

  If you do caps, it goes to Dinklage's site.

• 1:10:25Andrew Santino?

  Big ego on that guy.

• 1:10:26Speaker 05

  Big ego on that folk.

• 1:10:27Andrew Santino?

  We end the show the same way. Brad, look into that camera. Say one word or one phrase to take us home.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  Cunt.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:10:38Speaker 03

  You're that creature in the ginger beard.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  Sturdy and ginger.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  Ginger's a puget. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, seventy-five dollars for the horse.

• 1:10:49Speaker 07

  Ginger, ah- Hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

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