Summer Break Giggles

We put together our favorite giggles from the past few years. watch our youtube series order our book sign up for our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling and it's one of the best feelings ever. From engraveable pieces, to festive charms, to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who really inspire you and the ones that you really know. Give them a piece that says exactly what words can't. Pandora, more than a gift. Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections for what teens see and who can contact them. Plus, time management tools.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  And Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Too soon for Black Friday at Lowe's? Not when the deals are this good. Get your choice of a DeWalt 20V Max reciprocating saw or circular saw for just $99. Plus, MyLowe's Rewards members get free same-day delivery. Black Friday deals are on now at Lowe's, in-store and online. Valid through 11/4. $25 minimum. Loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2 p.m. Subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. Terms at lowe's.com/shippingterms.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Sup, Giggles? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:51Hannah Berner?

  What's up my grenadine gigglers? Quick update, Paige is currently on a plane from Italy to America. She's not happy about it. She's not in a good mood. So I'm just doing the introduction. We actually are not supposed to have an episode today. Like court ordered, we were told we have to take a week off. But we were like, okay, well, we have to post an episode. So I talked to Grace and we decided to put together all of our best moments from the last couple of years. But also bonus at the end, we have a blooper video out on YouTube right now of all this footage from Hannah and Paige trying new things that I guess we didn't know where to put. So I told her to pull the audio version and put it at the end.

• 2:36Hannah Berner?

  You should watch it too. Came out last night. And then the final episode of our Radio City episode is out next week. Look at all this housekeeping. Like honestly, the admin is exhausting me. I need to take a nap after this intro. Um, so we love you and enjoyed this fun, lighthearted best moment episode. Look at me, I'll do the intro for 30 minutes and it'll just be an episode. But um, I'll shut up now. Enjoy.

• 2:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never had a guy try to like really choke me. Interesting. Cause I don't give off that energy. And you talk a lot.

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You would think they're like, I'm finally in here. Shut the fuck up. The only time I shut up is when Butter falls asleep by my mouth. I have an eye twitch, which means a man is about to die soon.

• 3:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh no, it's that time of year. I have to sacrifice a man. No, truly, I've had this eye twitch for like four days and it's so annoying. Cause you also think everyone's like staring at it? I don't even think that everyone's staring at it. I'm just like, what? Is it your bigger eye or your smaller eye? It's your bigger eye. Why did I even ask? How dare you. Fucked up question. I don't know. Check your cornea. No, it's just like I think stress. Back to me.

• 3:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys who are like too good at sex, kinda gives me an ick. I'm like, what is this performance?

• 4:03Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 4:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Lay down, act like you're tired.

• 4:05Hannah Berner?

  Make me make you want to do this. Like, I don't want you to be like, welcome to the show.

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. If you're like, oh my god, your mind's gonna be blown, like, gross.

• 4:15Hannah Berner?

  If you find the clit too fast, one, someone cooked here.

• 4:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:19Hannah Berner?

  Two, it took me 18 years to find my own clit.

• 4:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:21Hannah Berner?

  What have you been doing in your downtime? When he like undoes the bra too fast and you're like, oh, okay, you have chlamydia.

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:30Hannah Berner?

  Like, are you just, you're like-

• 4:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Two fingers, just-

• 4:32Hannah Berner?

  Two, and you're like, mm. Like, at least pretend you're, but then if he, if he takes too long, then you start getting sad.

• 4:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, oh, man.

• 4:38Hannah Berner?

  Cause you're like, if you can't even unbutton this, you're not gonna-

• 4:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, we'll be great friends, we'll go shopping together.

• 4:46Hannah Berner?

  Men tried to get women from, to stop gossiping back in the day, cause it was sharing information, so they would know what's going on.

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:52Hannah Berner?

  So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy.

• 4:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die.

• 5:00Hannah Berner?

  As long as it's honest and pure.

• 5:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And truthful, and she is a fucking bitch. That can be a fact. It's also really good for our brain, because we hear something, we have to remember it. And then, you know, so really, we're just, we're fighting dementia each day, what could've done.

• 5:17Hannah Berner?

  You're, when you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you, and then the fun of it is-

• 5:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Telling your friends.

• 5:22Hannah Berner?

  Telling your friends and reflecting on it, be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane?

• 5:26Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole period of it being like, and then they make this into an ice skating rink. You know, like, every time it blows my mind. I'm like, and then they can do concerts here too. Isn't that crazy? I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice? Right now, where's the ice? Right now, is it melted? You know, like, I'm always asking the questions.

• 5:56Hannah Berner?

  See, I don't wanna know logistics. Like, I don't wanna know how the sausage is made, I want it to be magical while it's made.

• 6:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, is it underneath the court? Where is it at this exact moment?

• 6:04Hannah Berner?

  Where are you hiding the hockey players? Where are they sleeping?

• 6:07Paige DeSorbo?

  We're on the Rangers team. Do they sleep here?

• 6:10Hannah Berner?

  I realize that all southern men are named after labradoodles.

• 6:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 6:16Hannah Berner?

  Chester, Wyatt.

• 6:18Paige DeSorbo?

  That's it. Literally, dog names.

• 6:20Hannah Berner?

  At least like a King Charles spaniel.

• 6:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Maverick and Jet.

• 6:24Hannah Berner?

  Sawyer, Mason, Duke. Those are names of-

• 6:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Dogs.

• 6:28Hannah Berner?

  Rottweilers.

• 6:28Paige DeSorbo?

  It's either like they sound like dogs or like really old presidents.

• 6:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, or if you take two of them together and you put a plus in between, it becomes just like a farm-to-table restaurant.

• 6:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Dalton Sawyer?

• 6:45Paige DeSorbo?

  It's booked for a year. You can't get in there. You have to know the chef to get into Dalton Sawyer.

• 6:50Hannah Berner?

  Duke and Carter? Are you even allowed to go near there?

• 6:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Or it's like a really prestigious, very small, private school. What's the worst thing that you hear in bed or like what would make you cringe? Mine was very simple and it's the word "what." Have you ever said something like during sex and they didn't hear you? And then like they say "what" and you're like, you're like, "Am I gonna say it again?" Or like, "Now is it weird?"

• 7:16Hannah Berner?

  How, how long is the sentence that he wants you to repeat also? Like, did you say like a whole bit?

• 7:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, cause sometimes like your heads are like different ways, so it is hard to hear.

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  The fact he said "what" is not okay. At least pretend you know. Just go with it.

• 7:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Just go with it.

• 7:28Hannah Berner?

  Cause whatever I said, I'm telling you, wasn't important.

• 7:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Not important. And if I needed- If anything, I didn't even wanna say it in the first place.

• 7:37Hannah Berner?

  I was trying to shut up and go on voice rest for like two days.

• 7:40Paige DeSorbo?

  No. You've sent me more voice notes than you ever have in your entire life.

• 7:43Hannah Berner?

  Wait.

• 7:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Was that true? I thought you were just saying that as like a bit. Were you legitimately trying to be on voice rest?

• 7:48Hannah Berner?

  No, it's my new thing. Just tell people you're on voice rest and you don't wanna talk to them.

• 7:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I legit, I was like, "Oh, she must have something like really intense."

• 7:55Hannah Berner?

  I told four people I was on voice rest.

• 7:57Paige DeSorbo?

  In context, this is how Hannah told me. "Hey, do you wanna come to my house this weekend? I promise I won't even talk to you. You can literally sleep in another room. I'm on voice rest anyway, so I won't even talk." I'm like, "That would last seven seconds." Seven seconds.

• 8:12Hannah Berner?

  If you don't want to talk to someone, just say I'm on voice rest. Or if you want to really lean into the character, put it on your nose. And just raise it.

• 8:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But when they ask for what, what's your response? You're just like, not at this time.

• 8:24Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's easier for me because they know I'm a performer.

• 8:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Hannah Berner?

  But like, anyone could go on.

• 8:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I believe you.

• 8:29Hannah Berner?

  Anyone could go on voice rest.

• 8:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I might start.

• 8:32Hannah Berner?

  If you have meetings.

• 8:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine Grace just sending like the newsletter one week and was like, sorry, I'm on voice rest.

• 8:39Hannah Berner?

  I can't write this down, it's like, I'm on voice rest.

• 8:43Hannah Berner?

  No, singers get like really serious about it. And you know, I.

• 8:49Hannah Berner?

  Everyone lost their virginity half at first, right?

• 8:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Hannah Berner?

  I think if you go full on the beginning, you're not okay.

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  You should call your mom.

• 8:57Hannah Berner?

  You should call your mom. You should call someone.

• 8:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like every girl is like, oh. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe next weekend, like I'm just like, I feel like it kind of hurts and like maybe next weekend. I feel like I used to do that all the time.

• 9:12Hannah Berner?

  I still do that. I still do that.

• 9:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Actually, no.

• 9:16Hannah Berner?

  Did I ever tell you what my nickname was? Like, high school into college?

• 9:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 9:21Hannah Berner?

  Quadzilla.

• 9:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I'd quite literally dig my own grave and pass away.

• 9:26Hannah Berner?

  Literally like hot guys would be like, sup Quadzilla.

• 9:30Hannah Berner?

  I couldn't tell if like, they thought my legs were like cute or not.

• 9:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  Men look at me like a horse. They like check my teeth. They're like.

• 9:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are men always trying to like, treat you like you're, they're breeding with you?

• 9:41Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and they're like, what's your vert?

• 9:43Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  They're like, do you want to race? Division one babies were like a topic.

• 9:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 9:50Hannah Berner?

  And then they'd see me.

• 9:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Hannah Berner?

  And they'd just smell a Nike sponsorship for their child like immediately like, yeah, you could go with the sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line. Or I, I could fucking throw a football a hundred yards. Do you want your child to dunk?

• 10:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 10:06Hannah Berner?

  With these calves?

• 10:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No one's ever come up to me and said like, hey, our kids might be athletic. If anything, they're like, I think you'll have a gay son.

• 10:14Hannah Berner?

  A gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers.

• 10:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous.

• 10:23Hannah Berner?

  When someone says Paige, you have to look your best at this day, she has a routine.

• 10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  All I did was get facials and massages in LA.

• 10:29Hannah Berner?

  And I started to get kind of paranoid that I was doing enough.

• 10:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You started to panic. Well, then Lenore got involved.

• 10:34Hannah Berner?

  Lenore got involved. Lenore was like, whatever Paige is doing, do what Paige does. So I'd go online and I'm clicking every lymphatic drainage place near me. Find just a woman in an apartment.

• 10:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Awesome.

• 10:45Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, the price is right.

• 10:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Safe.

• 10:48Hannah Berner?

  She does face and body. I said, we're doing it. So I just went to a random apartment building somewhere in LA.

• 10:55Paige DeSorbo?

  What is wrong with you?

• 10:57Hannah Berner?

  You know that it's sketchy when the first thing they ask you when you walk in is, how'd you find me?

• 11:04Hannah Berner?

  She literally was like, how did you?

• 11:06Paige DeSorbo?

  How'd this come across your desk?

• 11:08Hannah Berner?

  And then she was like, your name's Vanessa, right? And I was like, no. And I was like, it's okay. It's fine.

• 11:12Paige DeSorbo?

  It was amazing. I don't think it was lymphatic, though.

• 11:14Hannah Berner?

  I think she gave me a full on abortion. I don't know what.

• 11:18Hannah Berner?

  Why are TVs so complicated?

• 11:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 11:20Hannah Berner?

  Why do you need seven remotes?

• 11:21Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't.

• 11:22Hannah Berner?

  To turn on a TV?

• 11:23Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't go to someone else's house and just turn the TV on.

• 11:25Hannah Berner?

  Isn't that insane that if it's not your own TV, you don't know how to work it?

• 11:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also like a rogue Xbox controller? They're like, use this. I'm like, what?

• 11:33Hannah Berner?

  Are they like, oh my god, okay.

• 11:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, how do I use that?

• 11:36Hannah Berner?

  If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia.

• 11:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, 100%.

• 11:43Hannah Berner?

  You will get chlamydia.

• 11:44Paige DeSorbo?

  He's texting multiple other girls.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  And he won't go down on you.

• 11:48Paige DeSorbo?

  If he says, here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller, grab your things and get out. What's your headphone of choice?

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  So I collect Delta headphones. So I have like hundreds of Delta headphones.

• 11:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 12:00Hannah Berner?

  Like hundreds.

• 12:01Paige DeSorbo?

  When you get on a plane.

• 12:02Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 12:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You put the Delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what?

• 12:06Hannah Berner?

  The TV. And if there's no TV, we're sleeping.

• 12:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No headphones then?

• 12:11Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 12:11Paige DeSorbo?

  There's technology now that like you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again. Like when I fall asleep, I'm not listening to anything.

• 12:19Hannah Berner?

  I need noise to quiet my own thoughts. I don't want to be sitting in silence. That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me.

• 12:26Paige DeSorbo?

  So you get on a plane most of the time.

• 12:29Hannah Berner?

  Raw dog.

• 12:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Raw.

• 12:30Hannah Berner?

  Raw dog. Wait for her or he?

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  To walk around and say, does anyone need headphones?

• 12:34Hannah Berner?

  Does anyone need headphones? And I always go, yep. And then I say, thank you. Cause regardless, I like free shit. If it's, I'm gonna take it.

• 12:42Hannah Berner?

  I will put, the amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag is crazy.

• 12:45Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a wild revelation.

• 12:47Hannah Berner?

  And then I love a fresh new pair, you pull it out.

• 12:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time she walks by and says, headphones, headphones, in my head, I always think, who the fuck is getting on the plane without headphones?

• 13:01Hannah Berner?

  People are like, I love throwing dinner parties. What is that life? Like, that you A, love to socialize. You're like, you know what would make my life better? If I had to cook, decorate, invite people over and then clean after, that's my nightmare.

• 13:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Having people over to my own home?

• 13:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Paige DeSorbo?

  To socialize?

• 13:15Hannah Berner?

  It's dirty.

• 13:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Get out.

• 13:16Hannah Berner?

  It's get out.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what if I hit a moment where I was like, mm, and I want everyone to leave right now?

• 13:22Hannah Berner?

  I watch HGTV right now, it's like a weird phase I'm going through, but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, what kind of house are you looking for? And they're like, we love to entertain. And I'm always like...

• 13:31Hannah Berner?

  I was trying to explain to Ally, who's a lesbian, our relationship.

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  We left the house and she's like, she's your partner.

• 13:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, we're partners.

• 13:38Hannah Berner?

  Cause she was like...

• 13:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're more than friends. Like, like, okay, like, if we were to be with another friend duo, I'd be like, cute, that's adorable.

• 13:46Hannah Berner?

  We would leave and be like, they think they're fun.

• 13:48Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so sweet of you guys to like be friends, but like, we're life partners.

• 13:53Hannah Berner?

  Well, Ally was like, I loved hanging out with you guys, cause I love being like a third wheel. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I love hanging out with couples. And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, you guys will talk with your eyes all the time?

• 14:04Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're gonna gossip with one of us, you're gossiping with both of us, but it's a safe space.

• 14:10Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 14:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, we share the same ideas.

• 14:13Hannah Berner?

  She was like, you have a full partner. And I was like, I know. And I was like, I am the man one.

• 14:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm. Do pregnant women shave their vaginas? I'm talking like when they're about to give birth.

• 14:24Hannah Berner?

  I think some of them, I think, I'm spitting like out of my, I've no idea. I've no idea. I think if you have like a midwife and stuff, they will like trim it for you. I think nurses will trim it for you, cause it's uncomfortable.

• 14:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I would feel like it's uncomfortable.

• 14:40Hannah Berner?

  But also, you're not going in there being like, oh, I'm gonna make sure she's shining.

• 14:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, it was just a thought that I was just like, I need to know this.

• 14:47Hannah Berner?

  I think like you don't want a full bush just to keep it like cleaner. I have no fucking clue.

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I just feel like it would get in the way. I hate sleeping in bed with men. I don't know what it is, because like I can fall asleep on the couch with them. But once it comes to like getting in the bed and like falling asleep, I'm like, no, I have to be alone. Like I have to hang out with myself more.

• 15:08Hannah Berner?

  It doesn't make sense. Like we all have roommates, right? And then you get to the point where you try to not have a roommate. But then when you meet a guy, now you're forced to have a roommate.

• 15:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 15:15Hannah Berner?

  But this roommate literally takes up half the bed and is hot and is breathing in your fucking face.

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  And now I can't watch a TV show and like also have my phone on when it's like 3 a.m. because you have to sleep.

• 15:26Hannah Berner?

  Also, I understand intimacy sometimes. I understand quality time.

• 15:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:31Hannah Berner?

  When you're both asleep, like, is that really intimacy?

• 15:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I need my own bed.

• 15:35Hannah Berner?

  Sleeping in separate beds, I honestly think is great.

• 15:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I need my own bedroom and I'm so down to start the night with you. And then like start the morning with you. But what I do in the in-between is like none of your business.

• 15:48Hannah Berner?

  You're starting a business. You're running numbers. You're looking up past ex's ex's ex's girlfriends. You have stuff to do during the night.

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a TikTok that was like, I still stalk my ex's ex even though we broke up. But she's part of my routine.

• 16:05Hannah Berner?

  Wait, your comfort stalk.

• 16:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Your comfort stalk.

• 16:08Hannah Berner?

  Your comfort stalk, where like when you watch them, it kind of makes your day.

• 16:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I want a man who's more involved in like the cooking and the cleaning. I do have to say. I just want a housekeeper.

• 16:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I just realized I want an assistant.

• 16:26Hannah Berner?

  Some of these girls who've done it right, they marry chefs.

• 16:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches.

• 16:30Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past who have cooked and it's been so hot and so fun. You have to trick them to be like, oh my God, I love that salmon you made.

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 16:41Hannah Berner?

  And then they like get passionate about it and then it gets part of their ego and then they're like obsessed with it.

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what it is. Make it a part of their ego.

• 16:48Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Chris is smiling.

• 16:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You tricked them.

• 16:50Hannah Berner?

  Right? And the second you make it and I go, oh my, wait.

• 16:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Baby, I love your barbecue chicken. It's so good.

• 16:56Hannah Berner?

  My ex used to make it.

• 16:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Disgusting.

• 16:59Hannah Berner?

  Disgusting. And honestly, he had a weak wrist. Make him feel like hunters, you know? Someone said, you know, when you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil?

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Hannah Berner?

  So you'd get up to the garbage and you'd just like sharpen it and it feels kind of nice. And you'd also get to like, that's a version of a cigarette break as a kid.

• 17:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me. I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here. I was at the nurse's office. The nurse knew me, okay? I'd walk into the nurse's office and she'd say, what is it today, Paige? I'd say, well, I don't know.

• 17:32Hannah Berner?

  We walk into the green.

• 17:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy.

• 17:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I feel like my past life when my children died of cholera is coming forward today.

• 17:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say, why don't we just call your mom? Talk to her for a few minutes and see how you feel. And I'd be like, that sounds nice. I needed like a midday pep talk, okay? It's hard out here.

• 17:54Hannah Berner?

  That's so real.

• 17:55Paige DeSorbo?

  So real. Let kids call their mom during school. What was the harm in it?

• 18:01Hannah Berner?

  It should be like a jail where they have a row of telephones. Where you go, you're getting a call from PS 321 during the middle of the day. Mom, I can't do it anymore in this place. It's a prison. I showed up with a tie. And I think I went a little too business formal, like 80s businessman, like coffees for closers. But I do have to say.

• 18:25Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I feel like you're giving news reporter, like, high school sports news reporter.

• 18:31Hannah Berner?

  High school assistant volunteer.

• 18:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, you know?

• 18:34Hannah Berner?

  Brandon is killing it today. I wish I had a son. I realize having a tie, I know how it feels like to be a man.

• 18:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like assertiveness.

• 18:44Hannah Berner?

  Well, it feels like I have a dick.

• 18:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 18:47Hannah Berner?

  Like, I feel like, like, I was putting on my coat and I'm like, oh, gotta put my tie in. And like, I don't want it to be flinging around. I have to keep it.

• 18:54Paige DeSorbo?

  And sorry, I have things to report to.

• 18:56Hannah Berner?

  I know how it feels like to wear a dick because suddenly everything I say.

• 19:01Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, you're all this and over explaining everything. You're like, Paige, I don't know if you know the word finance, but let me tell you about it.

• 19:09Hannah Berner?

  I just feel like an alpha man. And I'm like, are you really gonna talk to me while I have my fucking tie on like that? Do you not see my fucking tie?

• 19:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Respect the tie.

• 19:16Hannah Berner?

  And then you just wanna like flip it around, hit people with it. Dude, thank God I don't have a dick. How have 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do?

• 19:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I would love to see this list.

• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  Cause hobbies in general.

• 19:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Get a second job.

• 19:28Hannah Berner?

  Playing an instrument. Is there any, is there any instrument that a guy plays that you'd be like, that's kinda hot?

• 19:35Paige DeSorbo?

  The recorder.

• 19:39Hannah Berner?

  Actually, the fingers would be kinda hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast.

• 19:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 19:42Hannah Berner?

  This I can agree with, cooking.

• 19:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  But I don't want them to talk about that they do it. I just want them to do it. Woodworking, no.

• 19:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Let the Amish have one thing.

• 19:53Hannah Berner?

  And if you are a woodworker, you're a nepo baby.

• 19:56Paige DeSorbo?

  If you give me a birdhouse, I'll throw it in the dirt.

• 20:00Hannah Berner?

  Painting, no.

• 20:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Painting is for me and my iPad.

• 20:04Hannah Berner?

  Swimming, I like it because it tires them out.

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm not mad at that.

• 20:08Hannah Berner?

  Go swim. Archery, what is this, medieval times?

• 20:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually not mad about it.

• 20:13Hannah Berner?

  Old money?

• 20:14Paige DeSorbo?

  He's giving a little bit of old money.

• 20:16Hannah Berner?

  You have to have like a lawn.

• 20:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's giving like quail hunting.

• 20:21Hannah Berner?

  Finally, traveling. That's not a hobby.

• 20:23Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not a hobby.

• 20:24Hannah Berner?

  That's not a hobby.

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Get jobs.

• 20:26Hannah Berner?

  Get a job, figure it out.

• 20:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair.

• 21:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.

• 21:43Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 21:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine, and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 21:59Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 22:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 22:01Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 22:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 22:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 22:17Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 22:17Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit.

• 22:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 22:19Hannah Berner?

  But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 22:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 22:28Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 22:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 22:30Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the Giggles's a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 22:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.

• 22:43Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 22:44Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 22:51Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 23:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

• 23:04Paige DeSorbo?

  When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing

• 23:48Paige DeSorbo?

  insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly.

• 24:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat. Kachava's new salted caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around 4 o'clock, I need a sweet treat and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives, and they have the best flavors.

• 24:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon French toast, and of course, salted caramel. Embrace your salty side, go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 25:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm 32 years old, but like, I was home. So like, when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents' street, I'm 16.

• 25:22Hannah Berner?

  100%.

• 25:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to ask to leave the house. Like, I could never just leave my house. Like, that would be...

• 25:29Hannah Berner?

  Get permission.

• 25:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Insane.

• 25:30Hannah Berner?

  Ask when they want you home.

• 25:31Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's like, Friday night...

• 25:33Hannah Berner?

  Sneak in, sneak in a weed pen.

• 25:34Paige DeSorbo?

  10 o'clock and I'm like, burns a little. And my mom can hear me, and here's the other thing, I'm in the bathroom in my room for like, a while.

• 25:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 25:42Paige DeSorbo?

  But my bathroom is above her bedroom, so she knows when I'm in the bathroom.

• 25:48Hannah Berner?

  She knows when you have a tummy ache.

• 25:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I hear, coming up the stairs, what's going on, are you okay? And like, I immediately turned 16 and I'm like, I think I actually might have a UTI, but I promise, I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay.

• 26:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to get a UTI, you whore.

• 26:12Hannah Berner?

  I was like, yeah. She goes, I just was giving blowjobs. I wasn't letting him go in. I just did anal.

• 26:17Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but I'm like racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex?

• 26:21Hannah Berner?

  You sat on an MSG chair with like mostly men in that stadium.

• 26:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. And then I was like, well, did I use a new soap? Like have I? And I was like, you know, and I think my immune system's just down. Like I'm coming up with like all these things.

• 26:33Hannah Berner?

  I found myself on Amish TikTok.

• 26:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm surprised the Amish don't do more Amish retreats.

• 26:38Hannah Berner?

  Imagine this, the next brand trip.

• 26:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Giggly times Amish. Grab your bonnets, ladies. All the big influencers like rolling out dough.

• 26:47Hannah Berner?

  Hey, what's the coupon code for this dough?

• 26:50Paige DeSorbo?

  But I think they don't. Where'd you get that churn?

• 26:53Hannah Berner?

  You know what we need? The real.

• 26:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Housewives.

• 26:55Hannah Berner?

  Housewives of Amish.

• 26:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I'll go to Pennsylvania right now.

• 26:59Hannah Berner?

  Where the fuck is it? I want to know the gossip too, like.

• 27:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, did you, did you try Becky's butter? It was so bad. Becky can't churn butter to save her fucking life.

• 27:10Hannah Berner?

  No, her churning technique is so, is so embarrassing. It's so chewy.

• 27:13Paige DeSorbo?

  She's been making those same cookies every year. Like think of something else.

• 27:16Hannah Berner?

  Also like, she's been doing braids for like so long. Get a new look.

• 27:21Paige DeSorbo?

  We're done with the braids, Becky.

• 27:24Hannah Berner?

  They're like, oh my God, did you hear which hymn Becky picked out today? Like that's so last year.

• 27:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Becky like says she believes in God, but like.

• 27:32Hannah Berner?

  She likes top 40 hymns. She's so basic.

• 27:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Tried eyeliner the other day. So like, I don't know.

• 27:36Hannah Berner?

  No, literally.

• 27:37Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, are you?

• 27:38Hannah Berner?

  Amish people end formal education at the eighth grade.

• 27:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it. I'm going.

• 27:43Hannah Berner?

  So did you.

• 27:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:45Hannah Berner?

  Most successful people are unmarried women.

• 27:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, there's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married.

• 27:52Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 27:52Paige DeSorbo?

  The men's life.

• 27:54Hannah Berner?

  Get more successful.

• 27:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. Like, and that's just science because yeah, they are now moving into a home where like everything's clean, everything's aesthetic, like there's a refrigerator with like more than just ketchup. And so like their, their minds are blown. Where like we get in that situation and we're like. Towels don't go over the door.

• 28:18Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, because I can't be fake, maybe it's like my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm gonna take on the male qualities of like, I don't cook. I put the towel on the door. I take my clothes-

• 28:30Paige DeSorbo?

  You can put the towel on the door?

• 28:31Hannah Berner?

  I mean, it's lucky if it gets to the door. It's on the floor.

• 28:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 28:35Hannah Berner?

  I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing.

• 28:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:37Hannah Berner?

  And I leave it. I eat food and I leave it. It's like this empowering thing that I do. Where it's like, it's not my job?

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 28:45Hannah Berner?

  Because guess what? Mom's working. I feel like men, after a breakup, will just go with the next girl because they don't want to process the emotions and they need a girl to make them feel good. Where when a girl's in a breakup, she's like, I'm getting new hair.

• 28:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 28:57Hannah Berner?

  Whole new personality, new gym.

• 28:59Paige DeSorbo?

  New wardrobe.

• 28:59Hannah Berner?

  Going to an Ivy League school to get a new degree.

• 29:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Might even move.

• 29:02Hannah Berner?

  Might even move. And I really do believe you always level up after these traumas.

• 29:07Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent.

• 29:08Hannah Berner?

  That's why I'm so pro failing. Like, failing makes you so much stronger.

• 29:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Natalie, Nick Vile's wife.

• 29:14Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 29:15Paige DeSorbo?

  She said something and she was like, "Oh yeah, and then I flushed my tampon." And the girls were like, "What? Wait, yeah, I'm flushing the tampon. No one's ever told me. No."

• 29:26Hannah Berner?

  You've been exploding pipes nationwide.

• 29:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't know. I thought the signs at different restaurants and places, like, "Don't use feminine products." I was like, "Oh, they have bad plumbing." Like, I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker.

• 29:38Hannah Berner?

  No, see, my mom terrified me, where she was like, "If you put this in the toilet, the whole house will implode."

• 29:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like no one ever told me.

• 29:47Hannah Berner?

  No, my mom was like, "Everyone will die."

• 29:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally, I've gone this long, nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down because feminine products, I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. And they were like, "We don't want it near us."

• 30:04Hannah Berner?

  You know what I think it is? You know when you have your period, you go through like 100 rolls of toilet paper? I think it's the toilet paper business who's like, "Roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage."

• 30:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. Why has the standard for a wife stayed the same?

• 30:17Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yet the standard for a husband has gone down? She was like, "My grandpa built my grandmother's house." Like, okay, now, like, any man, he's like, "Cool, I'll call a taskrabbit."

• 30:28Hannah Berner?

  My final thought is, like, men literally used to go to war. Like, they would like-

• 30:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses, you know?

• 30:37Hannah Berner?

  Also this whole time, this whole time I can't see.

• 30:41Hannah Berner?

  I've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses because I like the aesthetic, but like I feel blind. I can't hear, I can't talk, I feel I have nothing left. Men used to go to war, men used to like have their arm blown off and still run and like do what they had to do. Nowadays, a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period and he's like, I can't do it.

• 31:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:02Hannah Berner?

  Men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period, grow up.

• 31:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I miss Giggly Squad. Like, I feel like something will happen on a Thursday. I'm like, am I really gonna wait till Monday to tell the girl?

• 31:13Hannah Berner?

  Start itching.

• 31:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I started itching.

• 31:15Hannah Berner?

  And then I like want to tell you things and I'm like, hold it, hold it.

• 31:18Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why Saturday, I was like, we gotta move the pod to Sunday. I got shit to say.

• 31:25Paige DeSorbo?

  How about I texted you at like 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning this weekend. I was like, and I just feel like.

• 31:30Hannah Berner?

  Overwhelmed. No, well, you get morning anxiety.

• 31:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I get morning anxiety.

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  That disappears by 1 p.m. So I'm out here all day. I'm like, I'm calling Dez. I'm like, I don't like, I think Paige is having a bad day. Like, what should I tell her? Radio silence from her. I was like, call me whenever you need. I'm here. I go, she must be in an escape room right now. She must be have checked into a mental health rehab facility and that's why she hasn't called me. Text you around 8:30, just like, how you all doing? You go, oh my God, lol, I was so dramatic.

• 32:02Hannah Berner?

  I go, I've been freaking out.

• 32:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, that was this morning, literally so dramatic. I'm over it. Non-conventionally hot men, they're calling it rodent boyfriend summer.

• 32:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm just kind of sick of like when men are ugly, them getting rebranded into a trend.

• 32:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, I.

• 32:18Hannah Berner?

  Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't it be like lo- long torso? Kinko cuties?

• 32:26Hannah Berner?

  Double chin divas?

• 32:28Paige DeSorbo?

  It's never greasy hair girl summer. It's never like slightly depressed, possibly anxiety.

• 32:36Hannah Berner?

  Sweaty, dehydrated girl sexy summer.

• 32:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Never.

• 32:39Hannah Berner?

  We grew up with like dad bods being cool, which is basically like, hey, all the lazy guys who drink too much beer are hot. The PR on the men's side is so good, which is crazy because PR I thought was a woman-run business.

• 32:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They're coming for hot girl summer. Like all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend summer. No.

• 32:56Hannah Berner?

  I was with a-

• 32:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Summer was our thing.

• 32:57Hannah Berner?

  But also I think we're in on it. We have internalized misogyny.

• 33:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, I literally had it this week.

• 33:03Hannah Berner?

  Last episode, we thought Dr. Pepper was a man. We assumed and we apologized.

• 33:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week.

• 33:09Hannah Berner?

  But I think what the truth is, is that most women actually don't care what men look like. We just want them to be nice.

• 33:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Hannah Berner?

  You said the reason you decided to get a cat finally is because, do you want to tell them?

• 33:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Like filling out all these fucking questionnaires that like Hannah's making me fill out. And I freak, I'm starting to freak out like when I'm about to press send for the email. Cause I'm like, they're gonna email back immediately and like give me a cat. And then all of a sudden I'm locked into this fucking cat. And I was like, I can't do it. And then I had a thought and I was like, no, Hannah's literally my most incapable friend.

• 33:45Paige DeSorbo?

  And she's had a cat for eight years. Like I'm like, I've been to Hannah's apartment. I'm fine.

• 33:52Hannah Berner?

  Calling me incapable is so on the nose. I'm the kind of friend that like, you're nervous for an event, you call me. You're feeling down on yourself, you call me. If you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport, you're not calling me. You're not calling me.

• 34:08Paige DeSorbo?

  In a pinch, you have to be somewhere in five minutes and like bring a document? No.

• 34:14Hannah Berner?

  I'll get the wrong thing. I don't know how to drive, but it's so true.

• 34:17Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a major thing. You don't know how to drive. That's huge.

• 34:22Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, if someone's like hide the body, I don't think you ask me. I think I have too big of a mouth. I also don't know how to hide a fucking body. I'm the admin of hiding a body.

• 34:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I would never ask you.

• 34:32Hannah Berner?

  I'd be like, wait, where should we dig? Like, I feel like-

• 34:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I would, I'd voice note you like-

• 34:37Hannah Berner?

  We have to cut it, ew.

• 34:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Whilst, because I'd be like, you're never understanding.

• 34:41Hannah Berner?

  You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm a voice rest.

• 34:45Hannah Berner?

  My favorite is when the giggles come up to me with two of them and one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then there's some girl comes up like, hey.

• 34:55Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, me and you, girl.

• 34:56Paige DeSorbo?

  She like walks out from the bathroom.

• 35:01Hannah Berner?

  And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slick back bow, and I'm like, your page. And they're wearing bows. Like, it's actually like...

• 35:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you can spot them in a second.

• 35:10Hannah Berner?

  In a second.

• 35:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you also see the Travis Barker drumming during Courtney's birthing?

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 35:18Paige DeSorbo?

  He has two of his little sticks that he drums with. And he's drumming to the baby's heartbeat. And it's like, I mean, he's going. He's going for like a full... I mean, I think he goes for like a full 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes.

• 35:31Hannah Berner?

  Is there like beeps in the background, like beep?

• 35:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Nope. It's just, you can just hear him like drumming. And every comment was like, divorce, divorce. My husband tried to talk to me when I was giving birth and I told him to get the fuck out.

• 35:43Hannah Berner?

  I would be like, I feel like you're making this pregnancy about you right now.

• 35:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I would. That's like him picking up the guitar after having sex to a whole nother level. I would be like, hey, do me a favor. Take those sticks, bend over and jam them right up your fucking ass. Are you kidding? The day I give birth? Scram.

• 36:03Hannah Berner?

  You know, I was about to say...

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally scram.

• 36:05Hannah Berner?

  It's like when I'm about to orgasm, don't look at me. Something weird's gonna happen.

• 36:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are you here? What are you, what are you gonna offer to the situation? I think actually the women that want their husbands in the room when they give birth, that's weird. I think you're weird.

• 36:18Hannah Berner?

  Thing is, part of me wants him...

• 36:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, take a laugh.

• 36:20Hannah Berner?

  Part of me wants him there to like make him feel bad. To be like, you fucking did this to me. And I'm gonna use this against you for the rest of our relationship.

• 36:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You could never endure this.

• 36:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, so then like one day I'll be like, hey, can you hand me the remote? And he'll be like, you're right there. I'm gonna be like, I fucking tore my pussy hole into my butthole and you saw it rip.

• 36:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember when they took my organs out and they put it on that silver plate?

• 36:41Hannah Berner?

  I am a big screenshot girly right now.

• 36:43Paige DeSorbo?

  What's the percentage that you're ever going back and looking at the screenshots?

• 36:47Hannah Berner?

  Zero.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Hannah Berner?

  What mental illness am I suffering from that I continually keep screenshotting? Things that I know I will never, never see again, but I feel good.

• 36:56Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you screenshotting?

• 36:57Hannah Berner?

  You know what? Let's, I'll show you my screenshots. Okay. I screenshot a vintage store that I wanna go to in France one day. I screenshotted Romeo and Michelle's high school reunion, cuz I've never watched it and I wanna watch it once. I screenshot this girl's outfit, but a photographer was walking in front, so I missed the outfit. Four ingredient banana bark that I'm never gonna make.

• 37:17Hannah Berner?

  A tweet that says, what if birds don't even need to spit food into each other's mouths? They just like it.

• 37:25Hannah Berner?

  No, my screenshot's a wild place. Everyone knows football's gay.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  After the game, what do they do together?

• 37:32Hannah Berner?

  Shower.

• 37:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I've heard multiple men, football players are not saying it's team bonding. I'm sorry. I've never team bonded with a friend naked.

• 37:43Hannah Berner?

  The closest me and you have been to being naked in the same room together is when I'm pooping and you happen to be trying to do your makeup in the same room.

• 37:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and it's against my will. I know for a fact I was in there first. I know for a fact. And then you had a chimichanga.

• 38:00Paige DeSorbo?

  So let's not even act like it was just us bonding. It was you having a serious problem.

• 38:06Hannah Berner?

  It was an emergency.

• 38:08Paige DeSorbo?

  That's medical. That's just medical. I'm your emergency contact.

• 38:13Hannah Berner?

  I was offered MDMA.

• 38:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:15Hannah Berner?

  Do I feel cool about it? Yeah.

• 38:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 38:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah calls me after she goes to this party and she would not stop saying MDMA. And after the fifth time, I was like, it's Molly. Stop saying MDMA. I'm gonna have a freak out.

• 38:31Hannah Berner?

  I go, since when is MDMA Molly, you woman in STEM?

• 38:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Since forever.

• 38:36Hannah Berner?

  I wasn't gonna say yes, but I pretended I was considering it. Like, I'm like, you know, I normally would.

• 38:43Hannah Berner?

  Cause I wanted to be cool.

• 38:44Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's a Saturday night and I can't.

• 38:45Hannah Berner?

  It literally was. Totally a time where you could do MDMA.

• 38:49Paige DeSorbo?

  If there was ever a time, it was in that moment.

• 38:52Hannah Berner?

  And then people were like, we're microdosing. And I'm like, okay, like regardless what dose, I would ruin the party. I would never work in this town again.

• 38:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually feel like you wouldn't microdose because you're an all or nothing girl. You know, so you're like, if I'm gonna do it, let's become drug addicts.

• 39:07Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's why weed fucks me up because everyone's like, just take a little hit. And I take a little hit, don't feel anything. Take the biggest hit I've ever taken in my life. Can't breathe for

• 39:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:15Hannah Berner?

  For an hour and then

• 39:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And then you find yourself on the bathroom floor and you're like, I think I'm having a panic attack.

• 39:20Hannah Berner?

  Exactly. Just like staring at my fingernails for way too long.

• 39:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Once you give birth and you are in the state that you are in, like this baby's just come out of you. Your stomach's still huge. I can imagine that in that moment, you know if you married the right person or not.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  Mic drop.

• 39:39Paige DeSorbo?

  But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy. And then right when they had a baby, it was like, this is definitely not the right guy.

• 39:47Hannah Berner?

  It's literally post baby clarity.

• 39:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:49Hannah Berner?

  Cause you were.

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You get post baby clarity?

• 39:51Hannah Berner?

  You're at like your most vulnerable form of like, I, my body just went through trauma.

• 39:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. I need someone to love me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look.

• 40:00Hannah Berner?

  Take care of me. And no, well, that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling. So we want to have a baby to bond us closer. It apparently like makes it worse, but if your relationship's strong, it makes it stronger, but babies will expose the fuck out of it. So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like.

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  When you picture a boy mom, like picking her son up from practice.

• 40:21Hannah Berner?

  And like her son's name is like Tanner, Tucker, something crazy.

• 40:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I have a phone.

• 40:27Hannah Berner?

  You have like flannel on and you have your knee high boots and like you have your Starbucks order that was so complicated and unnecessary.

• 40:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And like the weather isn't conducive for a beanie, but she's wearing a beanie.

• 40:38Hannah Berner?

  Part of your look, cause it is fall.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  It's part of her allure.

• 40:41Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 40:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And like she just gives that like her oldest, Trenton, she loves him the most and like everyone knows she loves him the most. And she like writes him notes in his lunchbox that like, nobody's gonna ever love you the way mommy loves you. Like his little girlfriend, she like refers to her as little girlfriend, you know? And she also like wants to fuck him.

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of bad habits, I hung out with a straight man accidentally.

• 41:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Where?

• 41:09Hannah Berner?

  Work stuff.

• 41:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 41:10Hannah Berner?

  They do this thing where like, when they try to connect with you, they keep showing you YouTube videos. And it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon and you go, ugh. And then you go, oh wait, that's her love language. That's.

• 41:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:28Hannah Berner?

  Oh, they're trying to connect.

• 41:29Paige DeSorbo?

  They're trying to connect. Thank you.

• 41:32Hannah Berner?

  Cause he showed me one video and you know, like you get the point after like, and it like.

• 41:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, oh my God, that's so funny.

• 41:37Hannah Berner?

  I was out there for like two minutes watching it and like.

• 41:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you watched the full.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And then I was like, okay, that was a one off. He really is passionate about this video. And like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is.

• 41:47Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a thing.

• 41:48Hannah Berner?

  This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do?

• 41:51Speaker 06

  Yeah. I call it YouTube waterboarding.

• 41:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 41:54Hannah Berner?

  YouTube waterboarding.

• 41:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Like men, um.

• 41:59Hannah Berner?

  That was the question. What are, what are men?

• 42:02Paige DeSorbo?

  What are men?

• 42:03Hannah Berner?

  Do you guys waterboard each other?

• 42:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:05Hannah Berner?

  Do you ever say, "Bro, I don't want to watch this."

• 42:09Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's why I started calling it waterboarding because people don't know.

• 42:11Hannah Berner?

  Cause all men do is hang out and go, "Bro, watch this."

• 42:13Speaker 07

  That'll be.

• 42:14Hannah Berner?

  There's something also about when I'm watching, someone's watching me watch a video, I can't enjoy the video.

• 42:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Me neither. Camila Cabello, go to her Instagram.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 42:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell me, this is not an exact replica of if you and I had a baby.

• 42:29Hannah Berner?

  Wait, it is.

• 42:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Why did we birth Camila Cabello? And like, obviously she'd be a phenomenal singer, she gets that from you, you know?

• 42:35Hannah Berner?

  Not from me.

• 42:36Paige DeSorbo?

  She loves a miniskirt, she gets that from me. She loves wearing it with a tie, she gets that from you.

• 42:41Hannah Berner?

  Also petite, but big butt.

• 42:44Paige DeSorbo?

  She's tiny, but she's quirky.

• 42:45Hannah Berner?

  Holds up a bang, but is also outgoing.

• 42:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Is also outgoing.

• 42:54Hannah Berner?

  Kind of strangers, but also looks like she's an introvert extrovert.

• 42:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:59Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's so funny.

• 43:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Love child.

• 43:02Hannah Berner?

  I see that.

• 43:04Paige DeSorbo?

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• 43:47Paige DeSorbo?

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• 44:17Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 44:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 44:33Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 44:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 44:35Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 44:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors and I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 44:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit, not ruining the outfit. But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 44:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 45:03Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced. And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 45:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 45:26Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 45:36Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections for what teens see and who can contact them. Plus, time management tools. And Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 46:08Speaker 07

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• 46:23Speaker 08

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• 46:24Speaker 07

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• 46:26Speaker 08

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• 46:28Speaker 07

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• 46:32Speaker 09

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• 46:40Hannah Berner?

  I got a lot of backlash on my Instagram last night because I said, I want you to shave your head like Emma Stone.

• 46:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:46Hannah Berner?

  Girls were not happy. They said, first of all, I think you're sabotaging Paige's sorbo. And I go, mm, she does that to herself. Second of all, I'm a creative. I come up with ideas. I throw ideas at Paige.

• 46:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I think there's an Audrey Hepburn biopic that's circulating Hollywood.

• 47:01Hannah Berner?

  That's what I heard.

• 47:01Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think all the actresses are trying to get that role. And so they're dressing like her, they're cutting their hair like her, and they're like...

• 47:09Hannah Berner?

  Do you know who I think is gonna get it?

• 47:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll say who I think should get it, you say who you think should get it. One, two, three.

• 47:17Hannah Berner?

  Ariana Grande.

• 47:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't like that.

• 47:19Hannah Berner?

  I didn't cast her.

• 47:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been trying to watch Wicked for...

• 47:26Paige DeSorbo?

  We're going on seven days now. I've taken seven phenomenal naps, right when it starts.

• 47:31Hannah Berner?

  We're gonna be so good without the singing.

• 47:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Wicked would be so fucking fire without the singing.

• 47:36Hannah Berner?

  But do you see how you are, Glenda?

• 47:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Ariana, from what I saw, 15 minutes intermittently, she's crushed. She's amazing. She's phenomenal. She's the best singer of our entire generation. I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn.

• 47:53Hannah Berner?

  Why? She's Italian.

• 47:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I just think Anne Hathaway has always looked the most like her, or Lily Collins.

• 48:00Hannah Berner?

  Or you.

• 48:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe I just called the... I'm like, I've never acted, put me in, coach.

• 48:06Hannah Berner?

  I've seen you on Summer House, you're pretty good.

• 48:10Hannah Berner?

  I actually almost choked one of my male friends to death this last week. The tea was piping hot.

• 48:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Hannah Berner?

  He was like, they were talking about you and I was standing there. And I was like, oh my, please tell me you got a microphone. You like turned down the air conditioning.

• 48:24Paige DeSorbo?

  If that was a girl, she would have texted you in moment, being like, wait till I fucking tell you what's happening to me right this moment.

• 48:31Hannah Berner?

  And we were on a two-hour car ride, and I was like, get the popcorn, I'm ready to fucking go. And he was like, yeah, they brought you up. And I was like, yup, they said, what did they say? Oh, what did they say? Stop at the beginning, stop at the beginning. And he was like, yeah, they were like, it's, yeah. And I was like, no, no, no, from the beginning, from the beginning. I want every, I want like, I want every detail of like, how he was looking.

• 48:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Women should never, women should never be condemned for gossiping. We literally gossip because we're smarter, because we can remember more things. Guys just can't gossip because they can't remember shit. I don't talk shit, I tell a story. I entertain people.

• 49:10Hannah Berner?

  No, when I like FaceTime you with something to say, I don't just tell you what happened. I'm giving you a play. I'm a playwright. I'm setting the scene.

• 49:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I gossip so hard with my mom, so hard, that we'll circle back. And she'll be like, and now what was everyone wearing during it? And I'm like, girl.

• 49:30Hannah Berner?

  Something I'm annoyed at.

• 49:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:32Hannah Berner?

  Ballet flats.

• 49:33Paige DeSorbo?

  What in particular are you annoyed by?

• 49:37Hannah Berner?

  Something about me wearing ballet flats just seems like a rhinoceros trying to like ice skate. Like, there's something aesthetically wrong with it. I meant to wear big... Okay, you're laughing too hard. I meant to wear like big dad sneakers because it evens you out. Also, flats in New York, you step in one puddle, you're done.

• 49:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And then the ballet flats, they're not for you.

• 50:02Hannah Berner?

  That was so mean. They maybe just don't fucking wear it. They maybe it's not for you. You're like, sorry, it's not for everyone.

• 50:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I love them.

• 50:10Hannah Berner?

  Are you just like prancing like a little cunt?

• 50:15Hannah Berner?

  I hope you step in a fucking puddle and I hope you get chlamydia from that puddle.

• 50:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally have an audition at Juilliard after.

• 50:23Hannah Berner?

  We don't have sisters, but what I've heard about sisters is you would like punch them in the face and tell them you want them to literally like rot in hell. And then the next morning be like, do you want to get breakfast?

• 50:33Paige DeSorbo?

  There are definitely two types of people. People that have brothers and then people that have sisters.

• 50:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 50:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like if you grow up with a brother, you're a little bit tougher exterior wise.

• 50:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, it's harder to rattle you.

• 50:45Hannah Berner?

  Also, brothers are so like, they're not into the gossip and the drama where it's like, you'll fight over like a Nintendo.

• 50:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. It's more like they're saying like mean things and then like moving on and then like punching you.

• 50:56Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 50:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 50:57Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 50:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Where I feel like if you grow up with sisters, you're at a little bit more of an advantage.

• 51:01Hannah Berner?

  Emotionally.

• 51:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Manipulative wise at a young age.

• 51:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Oh, my god! I have a new dating like theory. Shit, I I can't credit the right person, but it was not from me. It was someone on TikTok. That men date from zero. So when men meet you and start dating you, you're a zero. And you have to build up to like earn them wanting to date you. Where girls date from one hundred. We meet you and we go, you are perfect. And then you you we realize all the things that get you down. And I've never heard anything more fucking accurate.

• 51:38Paige DeSorbo?

  We go in reverse order.

• 51:40Hannah Berner?

  We go in reverse.

• 51:40Paige DeSorbo?

  If I'm meeting you, I've already thought in my head what your personality is like, how your what your family's like, what you dress like, what our life is gonna be like together. And then I meet you and you're none of those things, because obviously that's insane. I made them up in my head.

• 51:52Hannah Berner?

  Where men, I guess, don't make stuff up in their head and immediately they're just like.

• 51:55Paige DeSorbo?

  How do they get through the day?

• 51:57Hannah Berner?

  That's very accurate. So boring. I would always go into dates with men being a hundred. I'd be like, he is perfect. And then immediately, and then sometimes he'll even do not perfect things. And you'll be like, oh, I'll just duck two points. I'll just duck one. It's like, he's in jail. That's girl math.

• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's literally our campaign strategy for the 2024 election.

• 52:17Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day? And everything's funny? And you're just like, oh, like, I never want to leave this place. Like, this is the best day of my life. Like, we're all in our jammies, eating food, and like, everything's hilarious. No one cares about you. That is giggly squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick. You're just silly.

• 52:39Hannah Berner?

  But you're a little sick in the head, but but we're thinking it's cute.

• 52:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh.

• 52:46Hannah Berner?

  You two are so silly. We are the giggly squad. We make money from giggling.

• 53:05Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so if you're not caught up on Hannah Page trying new things on YouTube, catch up because the finale, the huge Radio City finale is coming a week from today, Monday, July 14th at 6:00 PM Eastern. Be there on time. Watch it live with us.

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  In the meantime, we thought we'd share some stupid stuff that got left on the cutting room floor for the gigglers that want the deep cuts. Cut that part, for sure.

• 53:30Hannah Berner?

  We're not cutting it. Hobson, if you cut it...

• 53:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Cut that.

• 53:33Hannah Berner?

  This episode needs to be deleted. This episode needs to be deleted.

• 53:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Cut the cameras, cut the cameras. In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try deleted scenes.

• 53:45Hannah Berner?

  She could call it bloopers.

• 53:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, let's call it bloopers.

• 53:47Hannah Berner?

  That's fun.

• 53:48Paige DeSorbo?

  In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try bloopers.

• 53:54Hannah Berner?

  I was a gay man in a past life. It's different than a lesbian. All breasts go breasts.

• 54:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 54:00Hannah Berner?

  All breasts go breasts.

• 54:01Paige DeSorbo?

  It was sexy.

• 54:07Hannah Berner?

  Shh, are you friends? You should try Invisalign. Are we gonna see water aliens today? Bubble House. We're not a rock band. Sorry!

• 54:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't really like soda.

• 54:16Hannah Berner?

  No, I think the bubbles are violent.

• 54:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I like the burn. But we are living...

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  Okay, there she is.

• 54:25Paige DeSorbo?

  There she is. This is us.

• 54:27Hannah Berner?

  Do we like crocs or alligators more? Like, I don't wanna pit women against each other, but...

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I like a crocodile.

• 54:32Hannah Berner?

  Okay, well, then I like alligators. Should we become trad wives?

• 54:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I need a husband first.

• 54:38Hannah Berner?

  Your kids are gonna be monsters.

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You think? No, I feel like my kid's gonna come out of my womb, look at me and be like, ew.

• 54:47Hannah Berner?

  Well, let's be honest, your kid is Daphne. And when you leave, she [BLEEP] on your pillow.

• 54:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Hannah Berner?

  We're having a mound conversation. She's kinda the problem.

• 54:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and the coaches are saying really mean stuff to me. And I'm like, I told you I didn't wanna wear these tight pants.

• 54:59Hannah Berner?

  I feel like the guy on the left is judging your outfit, and like, he doesn't understand.

• 55:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a uniform, don't you get it?

• 55:04Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, I've been training my whole life for this moment, and they're like pretending this is a joke to them. It's not a joke.

• 55:08Paige DeSorbo?

  This honestly smells so bad.

• 55:11Hannah Berner?

  I'm so sweaty.

• 55:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm winded. I'm hungry.

• 55:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't shower.

• 55:17Hannah Berner?

  Wow, Chat GPT has changed you. And I don't think it's for the better.

• 55:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know what Chat GPT?

• 55:22Hannah Berner?

  Chat BT, for bitches.

• 55:24Paige DeSorbo?

  G- GPT.

• 55:27Hannah Berner?

  GBT.

• 55:28Paige DeSorbo?

  GPT. P, not B.

• 55:31Hannah Berner?

  Oh, why can't I hear anything? GPT.

• 55:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, Chat GPT.

• 55:36Hannah Berner?

  For preschoolers.

• 55:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's not ChatGPT.

• 55:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh, okay. GPT.

• 55:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:42Hannah Berner?

  Oh, grandpa, physical therapy.

• 55:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. People ask how we prepare for a show. And we try and stretch. And we try and just get our blood flowing.

• 55:54Hannah Berner?

  Didn't get my full morning poop. I kinda need to poop, but I can't.

• 56:00Hannah Berner?

  If I had a Starbucks, I'd fly. Are you not embracing you?

• 56:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You're screaming.

• 56:04Hannah Berner?

  I love how cat eyes so intense. I feel like I'm getting a boob job. If the left one's a little big. Oh, my God, the Salem West Trials during TikTok would have been crazy. Fifty-part series exposing this man. I think I was an Amazonian woman. And I think you were a flower in the Amazon.

• 56:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 56:19Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, I love that flower. We were thinking of Grace, too. We're like, Grace was either our mom. Or Grace was our daughter. And we were in a lesbian relationship in the 1800s. Wait, Summer House, we never got to do interviews together because of the patriarchy.

• 56:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so true.

• 56:35Hannah Berner?

  We would have crushed. This is the thing, I always felt really connected with the gays, and now I know why.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Andy is a man who's very concerned with his appearance, grooming, and lifestyle. Who may also enjoy refined language and leisurely hobbies.

• 56:49Hannah Berner?

  You know. So I was basically a real housewife of England, but if I was a man.

• 56:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, just a fancy boy.

• 56:57Hannah Berner?

  That's me. I wore one of those little tie things.

• 57:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Just a fancy man.

• 57:02Hannah Berner?

  And I probably saw you on the street with all your down jacket.

• 57:05Paige DeSorbo?

  You're probably like, ew.

• 57:07Hannah Berner?

  Gay men love you.

• 57:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 57:08Hannah Berner?

  Like, when gay men see us, they go, I'm a page.

• 57:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm very connected to the gay men inside. And like, you do put my bags in the overhead luggage.

• 57:17Hannah Berner?

  I'm literally your boyfriend.

• 57:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Hannah Berner?

  But I do, I love fashion, but I am tired. I think I had to put together a lot of outfits back in the day.

• 57:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And you also like things that are like, pizzazz. I like chic, minimalist, like, fashion-y outfits. You like things that are like, oh, what if we, like, added a red feather?

• 57:34Hannah Berner?

  So next time you're mean about my outfit, you're being homophobic.

• 57:37Paige DeSorbo?

  So moral of the story, Hannah's gay, and I am depressed.

• 57:43Hannah Berner?

  We're both depressed and have mental problems. Tell us something we don't know, psychic. When you're over 30, take iBelle's Swipe Up. It's so good.

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I just looked at her and I said, Daphne?

• 57:55Hannah Berner?

  Stop.

• 57:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop.

• 57:58Hannah Berner?

  You know what your mom feels now.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:59Hannah Berner?

  You were raised Catholic, right? What did Jesus say?

• 58:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Catholics don't believe in...

• 58:05Hannah Berner?

  Evil.

• 58:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Reincarnation. No, they believe in evil.

• 58:07Hannah Berner?

  But they believe that Jesus rose from the dead?

• 58:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he was like going through something.

• 58:13Hannah Berner?

  Well, he's an influencer. So we just have to be like...

• 58:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I've already told God.

• 58:17Hannah Berner?

  You told God?

• 58:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:18Hannah Berner?

  I love how God is dealing with three wars right now, but he's like, wait, Paige, so I was going to Salem.

• 58:21Paige DeSorbo?

  God got me a beta blocker, so like he's in tune with what's going on with me. Two dead girls.

• 58:29Hannah Berner?

  I forgot my sausage links.

• 58:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Jesus is good in there. There were three girls in the front row that like were like my finger, my hands tingle too when I have a panic attack and they like go numb and I felt very seen.

• 58:42Hannah Berner?

  No, we were like, who had a panic attack today? And I swear the entire crowd was like, me! If you're not having panic attacks at the club, like you're not on tour, objectively. Also, I didn't know we could get closer. Like I feel we're closer.

• 58:55Paige DeSorbo?

  We knew.

• 58:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I mean, I was like, at one point I was, I was tapped. I was wearing this. Did you like when I was rubbing your back?

• 59:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't even tell. I feel like I've watched a couple softball games.

• 59:06Hannah Berner?

  Okay, you're making that up just so you feel bad.

• 59:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's sometimes on ESPN.

• 59:09Hannah Berner?

  You don't even have ESPN at your house. We couldn't find ESPN that one day at your house.

• 59:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop.

• 59:15Hannah Berner?

  I think one of the guys should walk up to Cardi B WAP. There's some hoes in this house. There's some hoes in this house.

• 59:21Paige DeSorbo?

  That would be a good one.

• 59:22Hannah Berner?

  So fat freak! Seven days a week. Not to speak about my husband again. But we almost got a divorce because I didn't have TSA Pre.

• 59:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I was on his side for that.

• 59:30Hannah Berner?

  No, you were. And you were right. You guys were actually right.

• 59:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I won't even travel with someone who's on TSA Pre. I feel better than them.

• 59:38Hannah Berner?

  Flying is an art form that Paige and I have not mastered yet. Paige is a little annoyed with me because I liked her luggage. So I bought the same luggage, which has made our lives more complicated. If you went home and it was just all my like smelly clothes.

• 59:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I got your luggage and you got mine? You wouldn't know that you had my luggage for two months because you don't unpack.

• 59:57Hannah Berner?

  That was so messed up. Don't listen to a word she says. You know what we should have done for Halloween? We should dress as each other. And I dress as the, in the mu mu outfit. And you dress... I can't see you. Okay, so this is how I do my wigs.

• 1:00:16Paige DeSorbo?

  This is how you do your wigs? This is the first time you've ever done a wig.

• 1:00:18Hannah Berner?

  I've never done a wig before. It's literally chaos. So first you just kind of... You go like this with your hair. Then you go like this.

• 1:00:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Put your hair in a low bun.

• 1:00:32Hannah Berner?

  Oh! Oh, that makes it so much easier. Well, now I look like Thomas Jefferson.

• 1:00:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You look like a penis.

• 1:00:44Hannah Berner?

  You do look like a penis.

• 1:00:45Paige DeSorbo?

  If we walked on stage in jeans and a baggy t-shirt and sneakers, people would be like...

• 1:00:50Hannah Berner?

  How dare they?

• 1:00:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You didn't get ready. But like, any male comedian could go out disheveled.

• 1:00:55Hannah Berner?

  We're starting four hours before the show. Male comedians are still jerking off in the bathroom. Wait, I'm literally Mormon. Now I need my eyelashes. Which, I don't have eyelash glue, but I don't think I'm gonna need it.

• 1:01:09Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the main ingredient.

• 1:01:10Hannah Berner?

  I just want them to say...

• 1:01:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And fake eyelashes is the glue.

• 1:01:14Hannah Berner?

  I think I could have nailed it.

• 1:01:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 1:01:16Hannah Berner?

  I do look more like that woman in the documentary about the apes.

• 1:01:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Tonka?

• 1:01:26Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you do. Is there a make me do the worm? No, don't let him. You need to protect me more.

• 1:01:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I mean, you need to...

• 1:01:34Hannah Berner?

  You need to protect me.

• 1:01:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that we worked in high school together because I would've gotten you to do so many things. Your peer pressure, like, meter is zero.

• 1:01:43Hannah Berner?

  They'll be like, "What if you found me, yes?" And I'm like, "Yes."

• 1:01:45Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, "No, I really can't find." And then you're like, "Oh, doing it."

• 1:01:49Hannah Berner?

  No, I was so bad. People would be like, "Take ayahuasca." And I'm like, "Okay."

• 1:01:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna have to take ayahuasca. So I have this pimple right here. And at first I was upset, and then I realized I look like Cindy Crawford when I go like this. That's setting spray? I don't know if it does anything. I think it's BS.

• 1:02:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You probably need like a really good primer.

• 1:02:08Hannah Berner?

  I think your fingers are too skinny and nothing's happening right now.

• 1:02:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I give great air.

• 1:02:15Paige DeSorbo?

  It's loud.

• 1:02:17Paige DeSorbo?

  You didn't put it on your face. Hold your breath.

• 1:02:22Hannah Berner?

  Okay, that was a lot.

• 1:02:23Paige DeSorbo?

  That's how much you have to do.

• 1:02:25Hannah Berner?

  Oh, look at my eyes! I'm suing this company. I'm suing our company.

• 1:02:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Put it on my company card.

• 1:02:33Hannah Berner?

  Put it on the company card. Okay, she just blinded me. Completely blinded. I look like a serial killer. I look like... Okay.

• 1:02:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Why does every costume you put on look like the HBO lady?

• 1:02:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Why is every costume Tonka? Wait, I can watch the YouTube channel of you just doing all your costumes.

• 1:02:55Hannah Berner?

  This is cute. The tuck.

• 1:02:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me see.

• 1:03:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't hate it. I actually, I don't hate it. That's the thing.

• 1:03:07Hannah Berner?

  But that's the worst, when you actually feel nothing about it. When you hate my outfit. I saw who you looked like down. She went...

• 1:03:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't do that look. Second of all, I didn't say I hated it. Did I say that?

• 1:03:20Hannah Berner?

  Do you like it?

• 1:03:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Look, it's very you.

• 1:03:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I like that. You like those kind of dresses. I personally don't like those kind of dresses on me.

• 1:03:33Hannah Berner?

  Do you like it on me?

• 1:03:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I also can't do that either.

• 1:03:39Hannah Berner?

  Should I wear this? No, it's too slutty. I've realized through Paige, actually. She's inspired me. That the more put-together I look, the better things come of it. It's just that sense of, I look good, I feel good. Yes, you play good. Yes. Oh, I would have loved to have had to pick out tennis outfits. We would have lost every match, but we would have been the best-looking girl.

• 1:04:03Hannah Berner?

  So I realized that this shirt, I'm gonna sweat through. So, I need Botox.

• 1:04:11Hannah Berner?

  Can't tell unless it falls out. It is a little itchy, too. I need period pads. Are there period pads in here? Or are they sexist?

• 1:04:26Hannah Berner?

  Not even a tampon.

• 1:04:29Hannah Berner?

  Do you see what we have to deal with as women in the arts?

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections for what teens see and who can contact them, plus time management tools. And Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:05:08Speaker 08

  Real talent is defined by what people can do, not where they learn to do it. So by stopping at the education section of a resume, you might throw away the perfect hire. Skills-first hiring helps you see talent others miss, like more than 70 million stars skilled through alternative routes. Let their story unfold and gain a competitive advantage, because hiring managers who start with skills are 60% more likely to find a successful hire, hire skills first. Learn why at tearthepapersealing.org. Brought to you by Opportunity at Work and the Ad Council.