The Revolution of Stavros Halkias Will Be Vindicated

The foul-mouthed comedian, actor and podcaster is everywhere — including, but not limited to, wielding a T-shirt cannon on the football sidelines. He might also represent the future of a movement that realigns our politics. Pablo enters Stavvy's world to flip the script on how private equity created a sports bubble (while ruining your chicken sandwich) and why the "soulless corporate centrists" of the Democratic Party are marching us toward fascism. Plus: the Voting Rights Act for "Inside the NBA," the '96 Bullsness of true crime, the open-source formula behind Ronnie the Ravens super-fan... and why there's no such thing as a "good" Kushner. • Watch "Uncle Stav" on Netflix https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 • Subscribe to "Stavvy's World" https://pod.link/1657458632 • Previously on PTFO: We Investigated Magic Johnson, Mark Walter... and Your Nest Egg https://pod.link/1685093486/episode/NmE5YTI1MzE4YmFmNjgxM2FkMmY4NTdk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Pablo Torre?

  Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  If they destroy the Lakers, guys with Kobe back tattoos are gonna start [bleep] like the proletariat revolution, I think.

• 0:13Pablo Torre?

  Right after this.

• 0:17Speaker 02

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• 1:20Pablo Torre?

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• 2:01Pablo Torre?

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• 2:28Pablo Torre?

  How different is this whole setup from what your previous setup was?

• 2:31Speaker 01

  I mean dude, we were in my spare bedroom in Astoria for two years, you know? Like we had, this is insane. This is, like, when people came in, they could not believe where this studio was. We've upgraded since then, but yeah, I mean, we've, we did some big episodes there. It was really, the funniest one was Blake getting out of a [bleep] black car in my neighborhood in Queens. And just look, like, I was on the balcony, I saw him be like, what the [bleep]? Like, I saw him be like, even though I like warned him it's an apartment, it was really funny to see him just like look, like, look around. I'm like, dude, up here. But yeah, now we have a [bleep] hilariously legit setup.

• 3:08Pablo Torre?

  I'm just feeling the groove inside of the, I mean, it feels like a child sitting in, like, trying an adult shoe on. I'm like, there's a lot more room.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude. It's a very powerful automobile you're at the helm of right now. Try and keep up.

• 3:27Pablo Torre?

  I don't know if-

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Too much horsepower.

• 3:29Pablo Torre?

  I don't know. I don't know if I should be able to drive this vehicle.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Too much horsepower. Give it your best shot, buddy. Don't worry.

• 3:54Pablo Torre?

  It is really good to, to have you in your own studio.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's, it's good to be had. Honestly, it is nice to just be here. It's annoying for you to come here. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have to go to some other studio. This is where, I'm here anyway. So yes, it feels like I did you a favor, but this is actually cutting down on my commute quite a bit.

• 4:17Pablo Torre?

  Have you sat in this couch before?

• 4:19Speaker 01

  First time and I really like it. I think, you know, we're giving the guests a good experience. Someday you'll be flipped. You'll be on Stav's world, you'll get the guest experience, but you'll be the first ever guest on Stav's world to have hosted a podcast from my chair before even doing the show. So congratulations to you, my friend.

• 4:34Pablo Torre?

  What is in your Tumblr?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  I'm on some throat coat right now. I had a wild weekend. I've been, you know, promoting my special, Uncle Stav, please watch it on Netflix. We spent the first week in the top 10. We were up against some stiff competition too.

• 4:50Pablo Torre?

  What else, what else, who were you trying to knock off that list?

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Well, I, the last time-

• 4:54Pablo Torre?

  Who were you most furious at when you're like, this [bleep] show?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  There was like eight, there was like literally like, three generic murder documentaries came out. And that's, in streaming, that's the 96 Bulls. Like, women for some reason love to be scared about murder. Their favorite genre is like, what if the worst thing of all time happened, but it happened to a different lady? And now we're gonna get the killer through forensic evidence years later. And one of those came out, Alex Earl's show came out. The last thing that locked me out of the top 10 for good was Monday Night Raw. I woke up Tuesday morning, out of the top 10 courtesy of Roman Reigns. I was bumped out of-

• 5:34Pablo Torre?

  We're here to change that.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  That's right. I'm gonna get the [bleep] Pablo bump. If the Clippers thing is any indication, about three years after you report it, I will be top 10 on Netflix.

• 5:43Pablo Torre?

  You too will be vindicated.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Some crazy lead time on the Torre bump. It's like, it takes about two and a half years, but-

• 5:55Pablo Torre?

  There's a, there's a, there's a whole like stegosaurus nervous system thing going on. It's like you touch the tail and then eventually the brain will realize, I think something happened here.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. How's it feel, we can get back to me, but you gotta be on a victory tour right now. You gotta be on a victory lap.

• 6:09Pablo Torre?

  We have both been on-

• 6:10Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 6:11Pablo Torre?

  Parallel tours.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 6:13Pablo Torre?

  It's been, for me, and I think genuinely, to be very sincere for a second, the feedback that I receive out in the street has changed.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Interesting. Wow.

• 6:23Pablo Torre?

  Because people are, are saying stuff like, and this makes me so warm and fuzzy inside. They say, thank you for your reporting.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Wow. Isn't it, I mean, look, I love that you're doing it, but it's so funny that you're the, the only journalist in America is for [bleep] bullshit sports. You know what I mean? You're doing great work and I appreciate it, but it's like, you know, a couple other motherfuckers looking at just straight up investment banks instead of like, you know what I mean? And like private equity instead of when it intersects with sports would be nice. But, you know, I do think this might be the only way we teach people about how bad private equity is.

• 6:59Pablo Torre?

  I need a caveat, even as I say what people say to me, that like, I am not a war photographer.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 7:07Pablo Torre?

  I'm not actually in Gaza. I am, I am a sports reporter.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  There's a place they are literally killing journalists. You're doing fine.

• 7:13Pablo Torre?

  I am sitting in a very deep-

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:17Pablo Torre?

  Chair right now.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Upholstered Ikea, by the way.

• 7:20Pablo Torre?

  Is that right?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:21Pablo Torre?

  Cost effective.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Cost effective.

• 7:23Pablo Torre?

  But feeling expensive.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly right.

• 7:26Pablo Torre?

  Kind of the opposite of sports in some sense.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  That's right. True. Yeah, everything, everything costs so much money, it [bleep] sucks. Every Fanatics jersey, like, if it gets wet, it melts off you. Even like gimmick sports, like the Savannah Bananas are starting to charge too much to see them now. It's like, everyone gouges you at every level. But I do think like, I mean, it is funny, we were talking about it earlier. Obviously, it sucks that the Clippers cheated. They should not have done that. But it's so funny that the, the owner getting in trouble is the only one that cares to figure out a way to pay more money to his players. And every other [bleep] owner is like, ah, sorry, we gotta play hardball with like our [bleep]. I mean, I remember when the Ravens wouldn't pay Lamar, and I was like, what the [bleep] are you idiots doing? Just [bleep] do whatever he wants.

• 8:11Pablo Torre?

  Well, two parallel sort of stories we were investigating at a time was this one with the Clippers and the salary cap re-convention stuff with Kawhi Leonard. And then on the other hand, it was the NFLPA and NFL collusion scandal.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:23Pablo Torre?

  Making office of Lamar Jackson.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Which is so [bleep] insane. He's so good. It's like, the guy was a [bleep] MVP already. His career is actually very equivalent to Peyton Manning, in my opinion, where it's like, they were both started their careers as insane regular season quarterbacks. I think Josh Allen's MVP belongs to Lamar. I think that was a complete bullshit, like, Josh is a great player, but Lamar was better in that regular season. And to me, the idea that, that would never have, imagine if Peyton Manning, at the same time in his career, was up for free agency? There's no way there, everybody would be [bleep] dying to pay him whatever, whatever they could. But, so anyway, it is, it is just, it's funny that the incentive structure in sports is like, the owner that tries to pay the player more than he's worth

• 9:08Speaker 01

  is banned from the $200 billion palace that he created. The only guy using computers to improve the fan experience and not spying on them, he has the [bleep]. Are they spying?

• 9:19Pablo Torre?

  They are doing, they're doing facial recognition.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Okay, all right, I take it back. At the end of the day, he's still one of the richest guys of all time.

• 9:25Pablo Torre?

  He did run Microsoft.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Microsoft, yeah.

• 9:27Pablo Torre?

  During an antitrust trial.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Totally, totally. He crushed a bunch of little computer programmers on his way to the Clippers. That's true. He was ruthless in his own little, little zone for sure.

• 9:35Pablo Torre?

  But the question of like, why fans can care about fundamentally class consciousness?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:42Pablo Torre?

  Because they are- Huge sports fans.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 9:46Pablo Torre?

  Is real.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 9:47Pablo Torre?

  It is. It is something that I feel every day. And you are gonna be on a stage somewhere at some point.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 9:55Pablo Torre?

  Addressing a rally.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know about that.

• 9:58Pablo Torre?

  But the, but the whole, but I'm, I'm thinking of like, who else is on this?

• 10:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:03Pablo Torre?

  Sees this clearly.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Can I be honest? The two things that I think might, because I, I think it's clear that what's f***ing us up is like private equity and, and, and money taking over these things that are all, products that are awesome, right? Let's, sports is the easiest one, but the, the one I've actually latched on to recently, I think, goes hand in hand with sports is fast food. Because everybody understands that Wendy's has gotten shittier. The spicy chicken sandwich now uses shredded lettuce. Exactly right there, that is private equity. That is someone saying, we don't want a fresh head of lettuce. That costs more money, so we're gonna get you bagged shitty lettuce. And I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal, but people will notice, Jersey Mike's was bought, I think, two years ago.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  It started to get sh*t. It was one of the, it was the best sandwich chain. It's getting shittier because some d***head who's never f***ing spread mayo in his life, decided, oh, no, actually, instead of a sandwich, this is now a commodity, right? And what's important is that by turning the, the, the buyer experience, the consumer experience shittier, I, some d***head that's never made a sandwich, gets a billion extra dollars, right?

• 11:12Pablo Torre?

  I was just looking up, so Blackstone.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  Blackstone.

• 11:15Pablo Torre?

  Of course, acquired a controlling majority stake in Jersey Mike's Subs in early 2025 for approximately eight billion dollars.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Insane, insane. Those people don't give a f*** about sandwiches.

• 11:25Pablo Torre?

  The before and after, I mean, you're right, there are only so many active, active fan communities.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 11:33Pablo Torre?

  That'll be like, this is what it used to be like, this is how much salami I was getting, and now look at this sh*t.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  And now, I think with sports, so for me, I think this Laker, the, the latest Lakers thing is like, now we're starting to get a sports bubble. Because I don't think the Lakers are worth 11 billion.

• 11:50Pablo Torre?

  Twelve and a half.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Or twelve and a half, whatever it was. And the people buying it are f***ing private equity. It's, it's the good Kushner? Get the f*** out of here. There's no good Kushner. What the f*** are we talking about? And these people see these as assets. I mean, the guy who, the guy who sold it to him, didn't do sh*t really, and then just went and, because an, an opportunity came up, somebody offered him so much f***ing money, he was like, and, and he's like, he was selling like, the way he even bought the team seems to be off people's pensions, right?

• 12:17Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, we did an episode about this, and it is worth listening to, even though.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I will.

• 12:21Pablo Torre?

  But on the front end.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:22Pablo Torre?

  On the front end, it's about insurance companies.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:25Pablo Torre?

  And immediately, if you're thinking about how you're communicating with fans, you're like, okay, this is a problem. We're, we're leading with insurance. But in, in effect, it's, Mark Walter owns insurance companies. Insurance companies take money, the nest eggs from America's parents and grandparents.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 12:39Pablo Torre?

  They entrust it to a very wealthy, in this case, individual who owns a bunch of institutions. And the idea is, you take care of this with risk averse investments so that we are safe.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:50Pablo Torre?

  And instead, what he did, according to our reporting in a federal investigation, is, yeah, he was not disclosing, I'm lending this to my other entities so I can buy sports teams for record prices.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's either that, it's either scams, it's either basically like, soft Ponzi schemes that are like, hey, if it all works out, we all keep our money. But if it doesn't work out, you're f***ed and I own the Dodgers, right? Or getting like shadowy money from Saudi billionaires. It's either way, whatever we're doing is evil, and the only thing it's jacking up is these prices. And now, people who don't love f***ing sports are buying these teams because it's the best, it's something for their portfolio. And I don't want this to happen. I don't want there to be a sports bubble. I don't want, I, I love, I truly, you know, I love hoops, I love football, baseball, you know, shout out to the Orioles, but they're so clearly important to the fabric of our society.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  But I do think if one of these f***ing billionaires ruins a franchise, you might have like Goomba f***ing like football fans reading Karl Marx. If, if like, if, if, if they f***ing destroy, if they destroy the Lakers, guys with Kobe back tattoos are gonna start f***ing like the proletariat revolution, I think. I, I think that's the closest we're getting to class consciousness is fast food and, and sports teams. And I hope they don't get ruined. I really hope not, but it is f***ing crazy that, and, and that's the thing, it's like, none of these guys care. None of these guys actually give a f***.

• 14:20Pablo Torre?

  I grew up a Yankee fan, and the idea that I romantically am remembering George Steinbrenner.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's a great example. It's like, that guy ga, cared so much about the f***ing Yankees. You don't want some guy who bought a team because he looked at a chart and said, oh, teams have appreciated in value 200% since 1990. No! I want a guy who loves the, loves f***ing hitting dingers. You know what I mean? I want a guy who loves one, a, a beautiful spi, I want a guy who sees a beautiful spiral and it makes his d*** hard. I don't want a guy who sees like fourth quarter projections going up and he's like, yes, this is awesome. So I don't know, I'm worried about too much money in sports because it seems to be the only thing that's appreciating in a way that at least has some great value in our society. But we're getting to the point where it's even overdoing that, I think.

• 15:10Pablo Torre?

  Yes. My fear is that we are, I'm watching what's happening with like AI and the detachment from revenue that the valuations of these companies.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 15:22Pablo Torre?

  Are demonstrating. And at a certain point, you need to actually justify the price.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  I know, it's just like, I don't f***ing really know about economics, but isn't running a business supposed to be, you create something useful and get paid for it? Not like you convince a bunch of dumbass rich people to keep giving you an endless font of money? Because you're just doing the Theranos thing? AI is like Theranos on f***ing steroids right now. It's so fake. It's a mix of like, we improved some existing computer programs, like, we made Photoshop better. We made Adobe Audition better.

• 15:58Pablo Torre?

  The Microsoft Paperclip.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Yes, the Clippy, yeah, Clippy has some new skills now, right? And some of that is good, obviously, some computer was, you know, but they've combined everything into AI. Anything on a computer now, they claim is AI. That doesn't mean it's a sentient being that's gonna fix all our problems and also like, you know.

• 16:16Pablo Torre?

  I, I do like how the two choices in front of us are, A, this whole industry might wreck our economy.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:24Pablo Torre?

  Or B, we're all gonna die because of it.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:28Pablo Torre?

  It's either the version in which this isn't a real product and we've all over invested in this.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 16:32Pablo Torre?

  It's that meme that I keep on thinking about where it's like Nvidia and OpenAI is a surge projector plugged into itself.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

• 16:39Pablo Torre?

  Paying in this endless circle of round trip money. Or this is actually, you know, Terminator 2.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:45Pablo Torre?

  And we should.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  It's the Great Depression or it's Skynet. Those seem to be, or things keep getting slightly shittier. That's the best case scenario, is just like slightly shittier, but anyway, who knows? I just, it just, that Lakers sale was really f***ing strange to me, but.

• 17:01Pablo Torre?

  I just like the idea of like, a, a guy, as you put it, who is a Baltimore Ravens fan.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 17:08Pablo Torre?

  Actively becoming furious that there is a class of people, we have made more billionaires than there's ever been before.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 17:15Pablo Torre?

  And this class of people is constantly just making their favorite television show worse.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

• 17:22Pablo Torre?

  They're doing the homework.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:23Pablo Torre?

  And that's why sports ends up being this venue to actually have conversations that apparently have a finger on the pulse in ways that none of the real life sh*t does.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true, because AI is kind of opaque on purpose, and no one really knows what's going on behind there, but you can see if a f***ing hot dog costs nine dollars now. If you have kids, you can't afford to take a family of five to go to a f***ing Orioles game, Ravens game, whatever, like, it's getting worse and worse. I mean, th, those two, shout out to them, make a great fan experience. But other franchises have a real big problem where it's like people who are just sort of like, these scumbag owners that own eight different, eight different teams across eight different leagues, all different cities. It's like, you obviously don't give a f***.

• 18:07Pablo Torre?

  The other part is that all these private equity firms and these sovereign wealth funds, they are buying shares in multiple teams.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. I f***ing hate that sh*t.

• 18:14Pablo Torre?

  And it used to be, by the way, it used to be that these were not allowed in sports by rule, because. The leagues all knew what was the risk.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 18:23Pablo Torre?

  You're gonna get people who aren't here for winning, but for profit.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 18:26Pablo Torre?

  Who are not invested in the way that the fans are invested. And then they said, we're gonna let them in, but they're gonna be capped. So it's like 20%.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:34Pablo Torre?

  And, but at the same time, you can own multiple shares. And then it's like, okay, well, guess what? Now Apollo Global Management owns some of the Yankees. And I'm like, we were all comfortable with the Yankees being an evil empire unto themselves.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 18:46Pablo Torre?

  The idea of welcoming in the Jeffrey Epstein coaching tree.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:53Pablo Torre?

  Is unbelievable.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  The guys currently suppressing the Epstein files owned 20% of the Yankees.

• 18:58Pablo Torre?

  Like, why are we, wha-? Who asked for this?

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I know. It's fucking insane, dude. It's like, a sports team should try and win games and do a great fan experience. That should be their two things while turning a, you know, decent profit. But it shouldn't be about constantly making more and more and more money. And I think that's how businesses are too. It's like, you know, the Costco hot dog, the Arizona iced tea, then keep it 99 cents. Keep it two fucking bucks.

• 19:29Pablo Torre?

  It's all the dollar store where it's actually $15 at the checkout aisle.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:34Pablo Torre?

  You were advertising this as one thing.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  And every fee and every, you know, everybody gets swallowed up by fees, but...

• 19:39Pablo Torre?

  But there's another argument I think that's really important that I think you also embody, which is why I'm also excited to talk to you about this.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:45Pablo Torre?

  Which is that having a view of class consciousness does not mean that you are taking yourself a vow of poverty.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  No, of course not.

• 19:54Pablo Torre?

  And I think this is the big, with the DSA and the-

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 19:57Pablo Torre?

  In the entire politics of all of this, it's like, I see that you are supporting taxing the rich, and yet you live in a nice house.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  I know, and I hate that shit, because it's like, no, I'm, tax me. I'm, I don't deserve all this money, right? Truly, my, please tax me, just don't give fucking local police districts grenades. Don't give them rocket launchers and fucking, don't give it to the IDF, give it to fucking kids, give it to hungry families, let's get a social safety net. And yes, I think you should be able to make an awesome business, make a product and get rich off of it. What you shouldn't do is buy eight other people's great businesses and then slowly turn them shitty, become a, completely destroy something a lot of people love, so that you can, like a fucking scavenger, strip it for parts until it's a shell of itself, but you end up having $5 billion.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Like, to me, I don't think private equity should exist at all. I think you should, you should get to, like, even the sto- sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is the stock market? So it's like, so, let's say you bought shares in John Deere, and they had a great fucking year. Some dickhead who does, who's never put a, you know, put together a tractor, why don't the guys who built the tractor get the extra money? You know what I mean? Why don't they get the extra revenue instead of just an investor who had nothing to fucking do with it, except happened to have money? These people are actually building this thing. And, and yes, that's the thing I can't stand, where people are like, oh, socialist, but he has a fucking, you know, but he fucking, you know.

• 21:27Pablo Torre?

  Supports public healthcare.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, oh, you're a socialist, but you make a lot of money. It's like, yeah, dude. My point is just take some of my money and give it to people who don't have it. I'm not saying never make any money.

• 21:46Pablo Torre?

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• 22:19Speaker 03

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• 23:27Pablo Torre?

  This is like this giant lane in politics that is so wide open. And the lane is, what if we all wanted to make $999 million?

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 23:39Pablo Torre?

  What if we just stopped $1 short of a billion?

• 23:42Speaker 01

  We're not even saying, take away the ability to, go to Bohemia Grove, whatever the fuck you weirdos wanna fucking do. Just, can we have healthcare? Can we start there? Because, yeah, I mean, that is such an insane amount of money.

• 23:55Pablo Torre?

  It's hard for people to, it's hard for me to visualize. So like Steve Ballmer, when I was trying to visualize this, he has $174 billion, one of the 10 richest people in the world, depending on Microsoft's stock. He's the largest individual shareholder, I believe, of Microsoft. I was trying to envision, like, why are all, so, another thing that's happened is that all these NBA owners now, I have felt a realignment there, where they're like, oh, this annoying investigative reporter actually might be doing something that we have interest in, because we feel class solidarity against a dude with $174 billion.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Wow, that's, that's fucking hilarious to think about.

• 24:29Pablo Torre?

  Literal billionaires are afraid of his wealth.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  That is the irony. Ballmer, I wish owned any team that I loved, because he has so much money and he's willing to do whatever it takes to win.

• 24:42Pablo Torre?

  As long as the federal government does not undo his plan of free agent acquisitions.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Right, exactly, exactly.

• 24:49Pablo Torre?

  Then this could go great.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. It's like, that is the irony too, is that like, we don't have a free market. We have a market stacked to get, like, that guy could, like, even sports, sometimes, like, LeBron is so underpaid, right? So many, so many players are underpaid. And that guy, Ballmer, if allowed to operate in a free market, would destroy these other guys. He actually is the exception to the rule. Most of those guys, even rich as fuck, wouldn't wanna spend their money.

• 25:15Pablo Torre?

  And I think the sort of visual image of a guy with $174 billion against someone with a few billion.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Three bill.

• 25:22Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, exactly. Versus a normal person. Another thing that I wanna experiment with in terms of political messaging is, what if we changed billion? We should just not, we need to come up with a word that doesn't rhyme with million.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 25:38Pablo Torre?

  Because I think the rhyming thing, like one letter off.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Makes it feel closer than it is.

• 25:42Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's not at all.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Right, because we go to a thousand to million, those are completely different.

• 25:46Pablo Torre?

  We feel that, we feel that jump so viscerally.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  That feels different.

• 25:49Pablo Torre?

  Million, billion, you kind of like maybe mishear it. You're like, oh, is a million or billion, I lost, I didn't really hear it.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 25:56Pablo Torre?

  And it's like, what do we call that? The Republican Party is so good at coming up with the death tax.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:01Pablo Torre?

  And these terms.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 26:03Pablo Torre?

  And I just think how we even classify how much money we're talking about, we're doing a favor to the people who have it.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:11Pablo Torre?

  And we just gotta, quadrillion. Can we just add more syllables?

• 26:14Speaker 01

  Quadrillion sounds-

• 26:15Pablo Torre?

  Kajillion?

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Kajil- now we're sounding fake, then, now we're sounding little kid. Quadrillion is the right middle ground, but it does unfortunately is tied to a number.

• 26:24Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  And so we can't use that, because that's just not what it is. But it sounds way more impressive than even billion or trillion. Trillion is starting to get there.

• 26:32Pablo Torre?

  Trillion, trillion started to get there, but man.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Billion should be trillion. And trillion should be quadrillion. We should lose billion. Billion, because it's, it rhymes too cleanly with million.

• 26:42Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Like, a guy, like a dentist with a fucking $3 million house with 10 million bucks in the bank or whatever, that guy is effectively, has $0 compared to even the $1 billion guy, who, that guy is scared of somebody like Ballmer, let alone someone like Musk, or, you know, the Saudi, a bunch of money in Saudi Arabia. Those guys don't just declare how much money they have. That's another thing. It's like, I think, I don't, I think some of the richest people in the world probably just don't let you know how much fucking money they have.

• 27:13Pablo Torre?

  They also all just borrow money. They have enough money that people will lend them money.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:18Pablo Torre?

  They're taxed differently, they are never spending their own money effectively. Like, the levels of wealth are beyond, I mean, and again, this is all stuff that I've come to learn, because you study sports enough.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:29Pablo Torre?

  And how money is flowing, and you realize, oh, it's what's happening in the larger economy. Whereas private equity and sovereign wealth fund money also very prominent in politics.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Politics, entertainment.

• 27:41Pablo Torre?

  In entertainment.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Anything that costs a ton of money, who, you know, you just, if you need to make a movie, if you need to run a sports team, that just costs a lot of money. People with a ton of money are gonna figure out how to get involved on that, with those things.

• 27:53Pablo Torre?

  I think that it's very funny that we're also talking to you after you attended your first college football.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  First college football, first college football game. I think I like- I tailgated and never made it to a really shitty Terps game way back in the day when I was in college. They were bad when I was in college. But yes, my first actual college football game was this week. I'm actually feeling the effects of, I had fun for the first time in like weeks. A friend of mine has a hookup over with the, with the Longhorns. And we just got a big ass crew together and he was like, come on down. I have, you know, I have some friends in Austin, made a little weekend out of it. Got a hotel, swam in the pool, you know, I've been promoting the special the last couple of weeks and for the next few weeks. So I was like, get a little weekend vacation and I ended up seeing one of the sickest games of all time. It was cra- that comeback was fucking insane.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  So you are our new college football correspondent?

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:43Speaker 05

  And on your first assignment, what did you find out?

• 28:47Speaker 01

  College football is fucking awesome, number one, sick as fuck. And what I have admired about college football is that they figured out a way to every week, there's one playoff game. Every week, there's one game that really fucking matters. And it was kind of insane to be in what, week two or week three of the season? And it was, the atmosphere was a fucking playoff. I've been to, I've been to the AFC championship. It was that atmosphere. It's fucking crazy and I got to see an insane comeback. It was one of those things.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  What was the emotional swing inside of that building?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Starts out so hot, everybody's so pumped, but that game started with those really fluky play. I mean, immediately they turn the ball over, Texas turns the ball over. That takes some fucking air out of the stadium. And then that fucking weird interception where it bounces. And then even the next drive, Arch hit somebody, like they dropped what would have been a pretty clear touchdown. And so the vibes were like, there was no moment, like it felt so dead. And I kind of felt like, fuck, am I part of the jinx here? You know what I mean? Cause it was like, my buddy who had the hookup was Glenn Powell, who went to Austin. He deserves to be there a hundred percent, but he's a nice guy. We worked on a movie together, he invited me, you know, there's a bunch of like people in like movies.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  I'm like, oh, did we do the like Taylor Swift and Heim sisters in?

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Right, right. Are we Apollo Global Manager?

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, should we be doing wordplay t-shirts in the front row? Like, are we, are we putting a, like celeb jinx? Are we like doing a Hollywood? I was like, they let me shoot the fucking t-shirt cannon. I was like, it was just the best, one of the most thrilling moments of my life.

• 30:28Speaker 05

  Any sporting event, there is no one more excited than the person who might get a t-shirt.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Dude, yes, oh my God, having that power, I felt like God, people like, here, please.

• 30:39Speaker 05

  What was your strategy for operating the t-shirt cannon?

• 30:42Speaker 01

  So they made it pretty dummy proof. Basically I just had to crank, it goes, it feels so powerful when it leaves and you feel like you had control of it. Uh, but you know, just trying to spray evenly, get some, change the, change the distribution. Let me throw a couple, you know, that was, that was nerve wracking. You don't wanna, you don't wanna throw a duck.

• 31:02Speaker 05

  You were operating the t-shirt cannon as an ally.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:05Speaker 05

  I'm making sure that all, all, all underrepresented groups are.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  I was seeing it as like, I'm, I'm giving like humanitarian aid. Like that's, because a gun, a cannon is usually very negative, you're killing people. I saw it as a positive cannon, a cannon that's dropping like, you know, I don't know, fucking oatmeal or whatever.

• 31:22Speaker 05

  Literally giving clothes to the needy.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Giving clothes to the needy, to the needy, absolutely. Um, so, but into the third quarter, I mean, dude, beyond dead, truly, because Texas looked good, but they had a couple flukes. And then Ohio State, to their credit, were doing a really good job. Every time it felt like, oh, here comes a little momentum, some backbreaking play would happen. And it felt fucking strange, but I mean, I remember even that in the fourth quarter, you're saying like, all right, get a score here and it's a ballgame. But you don't really believe it, you know what I mean? And then it happened.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  The, the stakes of when you're not merely like feeling, man, this is a bummer because it's so much more fun if the team, the home team wins. It's the walk home, the walk afterwards, it's just like, everything is now sad and you're gonna be blamed for this.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  People be like, this fat fucking idiot, they let him, what the fuck does he know about UT? Like, it's like, why was he throwing the t-shirts? He's a, that's why we fucking lost. We've gotten, we've gotten too fucking woke, you know, like that's what would have happened if they lost, but now.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  You and that photo of all of the South Asian students being blamed.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Totally, totally, which I thought, which is so funny, cause it's like, how are you so racist that today's Republican party is like, whoa dude, chill. They're just going to college. I remember thinking, I saw the band and it was like truly the most diverse group of people I've ever seen, right? Like ever, in any context, it was like, yes, so many different, there's a lot of South Asian kids, there was a lot of like.

• 32:53Speaker 05

  Kids who learned to play musical instruments growing up, it turns out are a rainbow coalition that also want to enjoy football.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly, but, um, yeah, that guy, that's so funny, that guy like.

• 33:04Speaker 05

  But that photo is just like, one of the kids in the front is wearing a literal cowboy hat. They're all running the playbook that you guys told them to run.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  That's, that's assimilation 101, right? In fact, like, you're right, I didn't even consider that, where you could see that from a different perspective and be like, these kids have completely sold out to America, right? Like, if my cousin see me with a fucking cowboy hat, but that, I mean, that's so clear. I mean, obviously that guy's so fucking stupid and racist, that could be Greek people, he wouldn't say a fucking thing, right? My dad doesn't speak English that well, right? These kids are probably truly more American than me in many ways, cause I was raised to not truly love America. Like, my, my dad was like, I'm here because of your fucking mom. The second I get a little money, we're going back to that paradise of Greece. By the way, while an economic collapse is happening, my dad's like, fuck, we should be there right now. I'm like, why?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  No one in my generation has a job. He's like, still, it was a mistake. So like, I bet you those kids all love being here, whatever, but of course, it's just purely about skin color for these fucking idiots. So, you know, but again, it, it was good to see that there is a line because even other Texas Republicans were like, come on, man, chill.

• 34:26Speaker 05

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• 36:54Speaker 01

  I kinda wanna go to more college games because, I mean, that's the thing about being at those games. It is not about the actual gameplay. It is like being in a crowd cheering things on. It's about truly human connection. You're just fucking chilling with people who, we all have this in common. From like, you know, somebody's 75-year-old conservative grandfather to some like 19-year-old non-binary Filipino kid, you know, playing the tuba. You know what I mean? Like, everyone here is like, it was this awesome, like, and that's, again, the beauty of sports, the uniting factor of sports, and that's why it's keep outside money out of it. Keep people who don't want anything but winning and fan experience, keep them the fuck out of it.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  You know what? You should even fucking lose money on a sports franchise because it's a fucking privilege to be the owner of a fucking sports team. I'm tired of us never seeing being rich as a privilege. There's only 32-whatever teams. That's a fucking, you're lucky to have that. And it should be seen as a public service, I think. You should fucking, you should only be an owner. It should be almost like, especially if you're taking municipal fucking tax dollars.

• 38:00Pablo Torre?

  Dude, we should have a sports citizenship test for owners.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  That's a fucking great idea. They should have to do like, medium-level bar sports trivia. Like, just like, who won finals MVP when your team won? That's it.

• 38:14Pablo Torre?

  Yep.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Who was, you know, name four postseason awards. Name one sixth man from your franchise. Shit like that. It can be multiple choice.

• 38:23Pablo Torre?

  Who is this?

• 38:23Speaker 01

  Who he played for. Every, every, that would be advanced. If an owner passes who he played for, he, automatic, or her gets the, you know.

• 38:33Pablo Torre?

  We want the, we want the Voting Rights Act, but it's just inside the NBA is who he played for.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 38:39Pablo Torre?

  Oh my god. Right now, I will tell you, I have heard enough stories about the people buying these teams and the consortiums that go in, they would not pass that.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  That would be awesome.

• 38:49Pablo Torre?

  They would not pass that.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  If we televise owners' sports citizenship test, that would be the most, that would be the highest-rated show of all time.

• 38:57Pablo Torre?

  What they do to NFL players at the Combine?

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, make these motherfuckers run, that would be fun too. Make them dress like they're at the Combine. Make them fucking wear fucking little shorts and tight. Compression shorts with like a number written on, with their net worth written over it. That would be awesome. Their doughy, rich guy bodies. I know I'm fat as well, but you know, it's nice to see. I just like the powerful taking down a notch. And so, their physical prowess and their sports knowledge would be nice.

• 39:24Pablo Torre?

  But they gotta, you gotta at least speak the language.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Speak the language, absolutely. Be an actual sports fan. I wonder how many, I mean, if we went down the list, how many owners are actually sports fans? It's a good question.

• 39:36Pablo Torre?

  Well, I think the reality is that because the incentives around these things are either the financialization of them or you get to belong to the most exclusive country club in America.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  That's really what it is, right?

• 39:48Pablo Torre?

  You get the idea of, well, I've always wanted to be cool, and now I get to buy the thing that is the coolest thing. And all we're saying is, tell me what the five positions on an NBA court are.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, absolutely.

• 40:03Pablo Torre?

  How far are you from the videos that you post?

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's up? Um, it's Ronnie. Um, I'm out here at M&T Bank Stadium in the back. I'm sneaking in. I'm technically not allowed to be here, cuz the last time the Ravens gave me free tickets, uh, coincidentally, two Super Bowl rings went missing, and coincidentally, a security guard did find them in my purple camo cargo pants. I was saying it's a coincidence. The Ravens said I'm banned for life from M&T Bank, and if I ever come back, they will call the police. Um, that don't matter to me though, cuz a Baltimore Raven fan, a true Raven fan, is not afraid of getting arrested. I was not missing this game for nothing, yo. The Ravens are gonna win 100 to nothing. Lamar's gonna have eight touchdowns, the defense, five pick sixes, and I'm gonna drink 100 beers. Let's go Ravens! We're going to the Super Bowl, baby!

• 40:51Pablo Torre?

  How do you explain that person versus you?

• 40:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's interesting because the character Ronnie has really taken on an insane life that I never could have fathomed. My entire career is like this, right? This, like, you just started doing something for fun, and somehow I became like the unofficial Ravens mascot. To the point where the Ravens were just like, shout out to the organization. That's how cool they are, truly. That a completely foul-mouthed, over-the-top caricature of their dumbest type of fan, they embrace that. They get it enough to embrace it, which is awesome. And the secret sauce is when the thoughts that the dumbest guy in the fanbase and my personal thoughts align. That's the truth. Cuz like, the char, it's, look, it's also pretty formulaic.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  I'll be honest, I'm not gonna do it every week anymore because it's just like, a little ironic racism, a little ironic sexism or homophobia, uh, over-the-top accent, mention Joe Flacco, say some, say a weird perverted sex thing that the guy is into. Sneak that in where people are like, wait, did I hear that right? That's the formula, right? If anybody wants it, it's, it's open source. The Ronnie formula is open source. Feel free. I would, it would actually, I would love to like hand over the mantle to unofficial Ravens fan to somebody else.

• 42:09Pablo Torre?

  Oh, I like that too.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Now, I'll always, home opener, season opener, I'm gonna do it. Playoffs, I'm probably gonna do it. Big games where something horrible or awesome happens.

• 42:18Pablo Torre?

  You're like, we're playing the Browns.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  I'm not doing a video and fucking, when we're playing the Browns and, you know, in Week 6 or whatever. Although maybe, cuz the thing is with the Browns are so fun to make fun of.

• 42:29Pablo Torre?

  I know someone is in trouble when my mentions start populating with, investigate this, and it's just a photo of the owner.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:38Pablo Torre?

  Like, oh yeah, the revolution is, is brewing.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:41Pablo Torre?

  By the way, that is what I foresee, is that like Ronnie is the person who will be calling for the revolution. Ronnie becoming not a Ravens fan so much as an avatar of class consciousness.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  That guy is, it's gonna take a lot for that. That's a good, that's a good way to think of it because that's gonna take a lot. Cuz I do think that something is going on now where it's like, well, I'm culturally liberal, fiscally conservative. You'd hear that all the time.

• 43:08Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  We're getting the opposite a lot. We're getting a lot of people now who are like, I am culturally conservative and fiscally liberal. I, I want universal healthcare. I want this stuff. And I care a lot about my Medicare premiums and, uh, trans girls not playing softball. Like, there are people who are like, that's their top two issues, and that's, our politics are bizarre right now.

• 43:32Pablo Torre?

  It's the realignment.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And which is, which is scary is like, if one populist fascist gave people healthcare and was like, but still immigrants and gay people are the problem, they would win in a fucking landslide. It's so scary. And that's why it's like, I hope Democrats stop being the fucking bleepless cowards they've been the last 20 years and actually offer some policy to people and aren't trying to like hide behind propriety and all this other bullshit. They're still trying to be centrists, it feels like, which is so, such, such lunacy. Um, but, you know, fingers crossed they actually give people something to vote for in, uh, the most gimme election of all time. If they try and go corporate, you know, soulless corporate centrists again,

• 44:17Speaker 01

  they are marching us towards fascism because at some point, someone's gonna be like, you get healthcare and we round up immigrants. And like, that's gonna be fucking scary, dude. That unfortunately is a really winning political message right now.

• 44:30Pablo Torre?

  Absolutely.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  And I'm happy that at least fascists are as tied to healthcare money as centrists are.

• 44:38Pablo Torre?

  I'm so glad that fascists are currently captured by corporate interests.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Literally, dude, if, if, yes, I, I, that is.

• 44:45Pablo Torre?

  When they learned how to run the ball and throw it.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:50Pablo Torre?

  We are fucked. We're really fucked. But in the meantime, Ravens are going to the Super Bowl.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, no matter what your politics are, it feels so awesome to watch a guy, to watch people tackle each other, shoot threes, hit home runs, just, and that's the other beauty of sports. It's like, when sports aren't on, you kinda have to think about what to watch. Kinda be like, oh, should I fucking catch up on Widows Bay? I hear that's good. Should I fucking, you know, should I watch some movies? I got home last night and I was like, fuck, what should I watch? Didn't need to think about it. Monday Night Football was on, you know? There's something so beautiful about sports just being on. When basketball comes back, every night, whatever the ga, I'm, I'm throwing on League Pass and whatever best game is on.

• 45:32Pablo Torre?

  Getting, getting lightly stoned and just scrolling through League Pass, one of the best things a person can do.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Literally, it's what saved me when I moved to New York and I had the most depressing years. When you first move here, as a comedian, it's so depressing cuz even if people think you're funny, it takes like years to get regular spots. Like, there just isn't enough stage time. There's the best comics in the world live here, and especially back then when the money on the road wasn't as crazy. The best comics weren't gone every weekend like they are now. And so, when I moved here, it was like, I'd go to some fucking horrible open mic. I would hang out at a club and hope to God Dave Attell didn't show up and I could get his spot or whatever. And if that didn't happen, I would, I would just be like, well, that, today fucking sucked, but I could still get home and catch the late games. I could still watch the Sacramento Kings.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? And, and getting high and eating a fucking pint of Ben and Jerry's and watching the second half of the late games on League Pass was, for two years of my life, was the most happiness I ever felt. It was awesome.

• 46:35Pablo Torre?

  There is no better political message than consider the power of a product in which the Sacramento Kings help a person's mental well-being.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, Young Deer and Fox was fun to watch, man. Fucking fast as shit. I believed in that team.

• 46:52Pablo Torre?

  Stop. Thank you for being so hospitable. Thank you for being an avatar of, I think, the future of a political movement.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  I don't know about all that.

• 46:59Pablo Torre?

  That, uh, that maybe, that maybe, um, you know, in some ways, gonna have to delete some Instagram videos they posted before. But may reflect the evolution that this country needs.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  No, we're not deleting anything. This is how, this is how we got here. We're done deleting. We all used to say [__] up stuff, alright? What do you want from me? We all grow and change, but that's how we got here. But yeah, thank you, buddy. Thanks for having me. Everybody, please watch Uncle Stob.

• 47:28Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  On Netflix right now and-

• 47:30Pablo Torre?

  End the true crime reign of terror.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess now watch it. Who gives a [__]? And Tires, we were number one for a while there. Watch Tires and Tony, if you can, if you can catch it at some point, too.

• 47:40Pablo Torre?

  You have so many things.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  A lot of things. This is a crazy summer, but yeah. And listen to Stobby's world. Pablo will be sitting here at some point. Yeah, Stobby gets ripped. We're coming back. It's gonna be a little while. Give me a second, but we're good. A new season coming up.

• 47:53Pablo Torre?

  Legitimately, congratulations. It is so delightful to see that you have become this.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Thanks, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate it. Congrats to you, too. They didn't sweep it under the rug.

• 48:04Pablo Torre?

  I was gonna say-

• 48:05Speaker 01

  They didn't make you, they didn't gaslight you into thinking you're [__] insane and, and it, it almost worked.

• 48:10Pablo Torre?

  It almost worked.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  It almost worked. ESPN being like, [__] Pablo. He's a [__] idiot. He can't even read these reports. And everybody's like, "Yeah, [__] that piece of [__]". And then two weeks later, you're vindicated. But it was close.

• 48:22Pablo Torre?

  You know what?

• 48:22Speaker 01

  They'll get you the next one. The next one, you will go crazy.

• 48:24Pablo Torre?

  The ball was circling the cylinder.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it really was. That was the most [__] bong, bong, bong shot of all time, but it went in. But thanks for having me, dude.

• 48:33Pablo Torre?

  Thank you for having me having you.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got it.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production.

• 48:51Pablo Torre?

  And I'll talk to you next time.

• 49:12Speaker 03

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