Pod Insights The Bill Simmons Podcast Soto’s a Met, KC Doinks It Up, Bleakest NFL Franchises, Rams-Bills Bliss, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal About this episode The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to quickly address Juan Soto signing with the Mets, before discussing the Chiefs banking a last-second field goal to beat the Chargers (1:47), the Rams overcoming the Bills in the game of the year (21:37), another vibe shift in the NFC West, a Vikings statement win, Panthers-Eagles, Dolphins-Jets, and the Most Depressing Franchise Rankings (29:24), before guessing the lines for NFL Week 15 (01:09:02), and closing the show with Parent Corner (01:22:47).
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal
Producers: Kyle Crichton and Chia Hao Tat
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Transcript 19,159 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Bill Simmons? This is Bill Simmons. I am thrilled to announce our newest YouTube channel. It's called Ringer Movies. If you're a fan of our movie coverage here at The Ringer, then you're in luck because every episode of the rewatchables and the big picture now on YouTube.
0:13 Speaker 01 Like Bill said, Ringer Movies will feature full episodes of my show, The Big Picture, The Rewatchables, as well as special live episodes, deep dives into movie history and a bunch of other fun stuff featuring other movie-loving Ringer personalities. Search Ringer Movies on YouTube and experience the joy. Chris Ryan impersonating Wayne Jenkins on camera.
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1:18 Bill Simmons? terms apply. Product availability varies by region. Exclusions may apply. See app for details. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right, it's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras, and watch Tip Off. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with the experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21+. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official
2:00 Bill Simmons? rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where I'm gonna have a new rewatchables episode for you coming on Monday night. We did a Michael Douglas movie. And that's the only hint I'm going to give you for this podcast. You can watch tonight's episode on the Spotify feed. Yeah, it's a little bit of a wrinkle. We did it live on YouTube as well, but we're going to start giving you that, uh, that video option a little more often on Spotify. So be ready, my friends. Coming up, I am in a fantastic mood today because the Patriots did not fail Drake May. They did not play. They had to buy, but uh, I'm in a better mood. The Pats
2:43 Bill Simmons? were zero and zero today and Cousin Sal and I are going to break down a fantastic roller coaster ride. Yeah. Wasn't that good? Week 14 NFL. There are a couple of good games. That's about it. First, our friends from Pearl Jam.
3:18 Bill Simmons? What a night to go live. Cousin Sal is here. Sunday night. The Chiefs just doinked their way to 12 and one, but more importantly, uh, Sal got Juan Soto on his Mets team.
3:29 Speaker 02 I know you want to talk about Juan Soto. Let's do it. I really, uh, I, I'm, I'm over the moon. I was going to come on dressed as Grimace or Jerry Seinfeld, but those costumes are, uh, in the cleaners, but I love it, man. I'm so happy. I don't care that everyone hates us now. I don't. It makes it better. It really does.
3:46 Bill Simmons? Who hates you? Well, I don't, who started the hating thing? What do you mean?
3:50 Speaker 02 Albert Pujols 2.0. Ticket prices are going to be affordable now. Good luck. Uh, enjoy paying him $51 million at age 41. Uh, listen.
4:00 Bill Simmons? Were those, were those texts that Hench sent you?
4:03 Speaker 02 It was all Kevin Hench. I love it. I'm sorry. Your Red Sox lost out. I love beating the Yankees. That's the best part is beating the, we beat, we beat them. They, they were outbid. They bid 760 for 16 and we beat them. And, uh, I know you have to go on the field and win and all that stuff, but we never beat them at anything. We're little brother, like forever.
4:23 Bill Simmons? So you bid 760 for 15.
4:27 Speaker 02 765.
4:27 Bill Simmons? Was that what it was? 765 for 15. The Yankees were at 760 for 16. And then Boris is like, do you want to drop the 16th year? Just go 15 and the Yanks were like, that's too rich for our blood. That's crazy. We can't do that. It's like, would you get over like 600 million? At what point, this is like funny money at this point.
4:50 Speaker 02 It is kind of like losing a house, a bid on a house for like a hundred and 20 dollars or something. They really, at that point, because everyone's like, yeah, 41 years old, like, sure, I'll get 51 million at 41. He'll be the lowest paid player at that point, but I just love beating the Yankees, man. It's like little, it's like Casey Affleck dating Margot Robbie and saying, take that, big brother. Bring that to TMZ. This is great. This is the best.
5:14 Bill Simmons? Casey Affleck?
5:16 Bill Simmons? You're like the little brother?
5:18 Speaker 02 Where the little brother?
5:19 Bill Simmons? Of course the Mets are. You're like the freaking cousin.
5:23 Speaker 02 I am the cousin, but thank you.
5:24 Bill Simmons? Well, you're literally the cousin. I don't even know if you're the brother. You haven't won in 38 years.
5:29 Speaker 02 Oh, stop it. Stop it. It's great. We won tonight. We won tonight. We beat the Yankees. That's all I care about.
5:36 Bill Simmons? I was delighted because this really ruins the Yankees. There's no plan B. This was the guy, they have this short window with Judge and Cole. And this was the guy they were grooming to be like the next major guy. And now what do you do if you're the Yankees? Plus you lose them to the Mets, the team that for the last, what? Uh, really since like the mid 90s, you've been kind of kicking their butt. The Mets had a couple of little tiny runs here and there, but for the most part, it just felt like the Yankees were in the driver's seat and now it doesn't. Now you just have this rich owner who doesn't care.
6:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's it. It's just like, here's money. How much?
6:13 Bill Simmons? Eight hundred million? I'm still worth 88 billion dollars. What do I care?
6:17 Speaker 02 It's beautiful. It really is. And he left the Yankees. He played for the Yankees. Let's not forget, right? He left. It's sort of like, remember that girl, another Seinfeld reference, dated Newman? And Jerry couldn't figure out why he broke up with her. It's like, this is like, this is the same thing. Like Juan Soto didn't care about playing for the Yankees anymore.
6:35 Bill Simmons? How many Mets Yankees crossovers have there been?
6:38 Speaker 02 Just for players?
6:40 Bill Simmons? Yeah, like for stars. It's pretty, pretty rare, right?
6:44 Speaker 02 Oh, for stars. Yeah. Well, I mean,
6:45 Bill Simmons? I mean, it's gone, it's gone Mets to the Yankees.
6:47 Speaker 02 Ended up.
6:48 Bill Simmons? Strawberry and Gooden were the two big ones.
6:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. We haven't really. I mean, we had Severino. There weren't, there haven't been too many the other way. We'll take it.
6:57 Bill Simmons? So do you feel like, you feel like you're the 1A in New York now? Like for real? This is it?
7:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:03 Bill Simmons? Our guy John Jashtramsky is disconsolate. I think he knew it was coming.
7:09 Bill Simmons? Cause again, they had all their eggs in this basket. You asked how I felt as a Red Sox fan. I never thought the Red Sox were going to be in this. The Red Sox are, they're the person that just goes to a bar and pretends they talked to girls all night. And it's like, I got eight numbers.
7:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:23 Bill Simmons? I got, I'm gonna text a bunch of girls when I get home. It's like, yeah, you're going home alone. That's, that's.
7:28 Speaker 02 But also, are there gonna be any girls available for them in the next five years? Like, it's kind of.
7:32 Bill Simmons? This is who they are. They, they're, the Red Sox are just riding on the coattails of the four world series they won because they know people like me just wanted to see one before they died. If we won four and they've taken advantage of that for the entire 2020s. I think the thing with Soto, just paying a guy like that, once they get 36, 37 and up, you just kind of know where it's gonna go. So you really, you're really spending all the money on the first 10 years of the contract. And then you have your fingers crossed for the last five, right?
8:01 Speaker 02 Right.
8:02 Bill Simmons? It's not like he's like Mookie Betts where he's like this amazing athlete where he's gonna be 38 and he'll still be able to play second base and be some sort of impactful player. You're, you're guys, it'll probably move more toward the Pujols, Stanton. He'll get bigger, he'll get stiffer.
8:17 Speaker 02 Yeah. It's dumb. Otani, he's not Otani, but they compared it to Otani, right? So this deal had to be based on Otani, which is dumb. He's gonna be a DH, you know, if not this year and a few years. So.
8:28 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
8:29 Speaker 02 But we'll take it. We stole him from the Yankees. That's all that matters.
8:33 Bill Simmons? So what are the biggest free agent signings of your lifetime? Cause I I'm old enough to remember, and you are too, when they got George Foster from the Reds.
8:40 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
8:41 Bill Simmons? It was a huge deal. It was one of the big free agent signings of the seventies and he was awesome on the Reds. He was basically like National League Jim Rice. And then he went to the Mets and it just did not go well.
8:51 Speaker 02 Nothing. I remember the program, the two Georges, George Foster and the manager, George, uh, George Bamberger. And it was Foster and Kingman and they were all, they were both hit and miss back and forth. But like, I don't even know, like I've gotten.
9:04 Bill Simmons? Bobby Bonilla was a big one.
9:05 Speaker 02 Bonilla was big.
9:06 Bill Simmons? Piazza, obviously.
9:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're still, but yeah. I can't even think. Uh, I was like, I got excited about Sabre Hagen and Viola and stuff like that, but.
9:15 Bill Simmons? Right.
9:16 Speaker 02 We'll take it, man. We'll take it.
9:18 Bill Simmons? It's pretty, pretty cool to have a guy hitting, what is he? He's 20, he's gonna be 26 next year?
9:24 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
9:26 Bill Simmons? You just get this guy, he could be, you could be in your seventies, so still be on the team.
9:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:31 Bill Simmons? Think about it that way. That's how I've been thinking about Drake Bam. Like Drake Bam's gonna take me to my seventies with a smile on my face.
9:37 Speaker 02 I feel I'm not gonna live that long. And this is like me buying a turtle. You know, turtles last like 90 years. It's like, all right, turtle, you're gonna be on your own a few years, but, uh, I'll enjoy you in the meantime.
9:47 Bill Simmons? What is the reaction with all the, on the Mets fan texts? Is it like euphoria or is it like cautious euphoria?
9:54 Speaker 02 No, I think right now it's euphoria. I honestly, the Yankee, the Yankee part of it is just so big. You, or your buddy Gus is on there and, uh, it's just, uh, he had a funny, a really funny thing he said. I'm gonna read it about, uh, his dad. He said, my dad says the four best words in English language are Mets win Yankees lose.
10:11 Bill Simmons? That's true.
10:13 Speaker 02 I don't even know if that's English.
10:15 Bill Simmons? It is. The only two teams I hate are the Yankees and the Lakers and it's been a rough weekend for both of them. The LeBron trade rumors, the whispers have started. And they look like a, they're winning tonight against Portland, but I'm always happy when those two teams aren't doing well. Well, when you're in your seventies, I think the Chiefs will still be winning stupid games. My hopes will be 41. Collinsworth will have a walker. And they'll just be like, all right, Mike, that, you go hit both uprights and some in the crossbar and it somehow went through back.
10:47 Speaker 02 I can't believe, how many uprights do they have in our head? Come on, Mike.
10:54 Speaker 02 I just, I just wanna kiss Patrick Mahomes' neck, that's all. I love all these quarterbacks.
11:00 Bill Simmons? I had the Chiefs.
11:01 Speaker 02 Why do we even get, why do we even, when it boinked off and then you wait to see if it falls like in the end zone?
11:07 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
11:07 Speaker 02 It's, it's in. Like, what, what do we even get excited about?
11:10 Bill Simmons? Well, the field goal the guy made earlier in the game from like 49 or 50.
11:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:14 Bill Simmons? It went through and then ricocheted backwards. So it kinda landed in the end zone, which I hadn't seen very often either. That guy did not inspire a lot of confidence, but.
11:24 Speaker 02 I think the mascot was even fooled. Yeah.
11:26 Bill Simmons? There are multiple chances to hedge all the Chiefs parlays and teasers you had, if you had them. I know I had a few. Halftime, 13-0, perfect time, because as Collinsworth was saying during that game.
11:40 Bill Simmons? It was going, the Chargers were weirdly in it. They had missed a big, long pass for a touchdown. It felt like it was pretty toe-to-toe. The score wasn't reflective. Get to the third quarter, Chargers scored twice in a row. They have the lead. And it's the perfect time for the hedge. And I looked at it and it was Chargers, I think, plus two and a half. So it was basically like, if the Chiefs win by a field goal, you could still win this Chargers bet. And I was just like, you know, the Chiefs win this every time. Why am I hedging with it? Why am I nervous that the Chiefs, this will be the time they blow it. I'm just gonna ride the Chiefs. And that turned out to be the move.
12:16 Speaker 02 Do you think they, in the beginning of the year, got together and Andy Reid's like, this is boring, guys. And let's, let's try this. 31. 31's a number. Let's never score 31 points. I think they've scored 30 twice. And let's see if we can win all the games or all but one of the games. And, and because, I mean, really, that third and seven play, they really are challenging themselves, right? If they don't get a first down, they're kicking a field goal and then the Chargers could go right down. And he made it look so easy. And then just dumping it off to Kelsey, makes the defender miss. And then hitting the goalposts is like your uncle playing you in pool and like, say, I'm gonna call a bank shot on every ball. Like, they're just, just screwing with you the whole time.
12:55 Bill Simmons? They never look comfortable. They miss when they, they have no explosive plays whatsoever anymore. And when they, when they try to run one. He'll miss the guy by like 10 yards. Or it'll be like his arm will get hit as he throwing it. Or it'll be like that Hopkins play where Hopkins catches it and he gets stripped. They just have, they have nothing. They'll run even like this last drive when it seemed like they would have momentum and then they'll just run in the line. The guy will fall down. You, you never feel comfortable play to play. I was watching Mahomes today, like trying to remember. We like, hey, are you going to do my home stuff? I can barely remember what it looks like. And then he had two of them on the final drive, but we just watched Josh Allen, the fucking Superman cape on in the earlier game.
13:38 Bill Simmons? And it was, I didn't want to go there mentally because I know it's reactive and it's, but I, I was thinking like, shit. The way Josh Allen played versus the way I'm watching Mahomes play now. It just seems like Allen's better this season. I'm not saying he's better career. I'm not saying he's past him, but just this season, it seems like he's better. And then Mahomes did like five things and it's like, no, no, I'm still here.
14:01 Speaker 02 Let me ask you this. You start a team, is it Josh Allen or Mahomes? And, and I guess I'm asking are Mahomes best years behind him, right? Because that's a different way of asking it. And I'm not sure, I, I, I think maybe he has eclipse. I'm, you can't say he's a better player because Mahomes has all the hardware. But if you're starting a team, what are you doing? You, what are you, you setting up a computer?
14:23 Bill Simmons? No, I have two iPads going because I was, I knew you were going to ask me this.
14:26 Speaker 02 Oh, all right.
14:27 Bill Simmons? So as always, I'm going to bring a Boston team into this because you know, there's so many Chiefs, Pats parallels.
14:33 Speaker 02 Bruins, I hope.
14:34 Bill Simmons? And I was, and I was trying to remember if Brady had hit a point where it was like, eh, what's going on? And it happened, it was way later in his crib. It was the 2013 Pats who finished 12 and four. And it was a season very similar to this Chief season. But Brady that year was only 25 touchdowns, 11 interceptions. Threw for 43, 43 yards. The whole year was, it was the year Gronk was hurt, Hernandez was gone. The two receivers were Edelman and Amidola. The two running backs were Stefan Ridley and LeGarrette Brown. Like they, they just didn't have anybody. And we, it led to this whole Brady conversation of what is this? Manning was lighting it up for Denver. It's like, what is Brady? Is it over? What, what, do we need to find, think about the future?
15:19 Bill Simmons? And it was just his supporting cast wasn't very good. And I think that's the case with Mahomes this year. Like, who are his good offensive weapons? Kelsey was gone in that game for two hours. I forgot he was in the game. Hopkins is okay. Pacheco's okay. Worthy's okay. They just, I, they don't have a single guy. You watch these other teams, you know, like you watch that Bills Rams game, like that Nakua and Cooper Cup and Shakir. Like, all those guys are way better than even the Chiefs have.
15:49 Speaker 02 But what about, would you, all right, so compare him to Josh Allen. You think he's got a ton of a great supporting cast? Like, those names are interchangeable, I think, with the Shakir, you know, the Shakirs.
15:59 Bill Simmons? I think his running backs are better. Shakir's got a, I'd rather have Amari Cooper than Hopkins.
16:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
16:07 Bill Simmons? Tight ends, maybe, maybe Kelsey in a big game, but when Kincaid's out there, I'm not sure it's that much of a drop off. Yeah, I guess for what you're saying, the difference is Allen has these holy shit, you know, he had five of them in the game today. And Mahomes, the holy shit plays seem to be these third and sevens that bring drives, keep a drive going versus like the Allen type of play. It's like, oh, my God, he just ran for 38 yards.
16:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, we get excited for Kelsey lumbering for eight yards after, you know, on third and seven, right? Whereas Allen is just zipping it in between two defenders and, and, and forget about what he does with his legs. It's insane. He sent a fantasy record, right? 58 points or something?
16:49 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah. He was, I was in that guillotine league I'm in. We needed Allen to have a bad game as soon as the Rams took a big lead. We were like, this is gonna go terribly. And then he had an awesome game. I think the other difference with them, at least this season, is Mahomes is just taking more hits. Like, they had that, Collinsworth was pointing out the whole game, they had that stat at one point, he'd been back to pass 40 times, he got hit 16. It just seems like physically, there's a toll he's taking, whereas Allen just seems superhuman at all times. Even if he's getting hit a couple of times in a game, I still feel like he's fine. It still feels like he's bigger than almost everyone he's playing against.
17:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:26 Bill Simmons? Mahomes had a couple of ones today. Herbert did too. I thought that was a really, really physical playoff-y kind of game. I thought the Chargers were the big winner of the game, even though they lost. Like, that game made me think that team in January, I actually think could. Go toe to toe with some AFC teams.
17:43 Speaker 02 That defense is excellent. I think for most of the games they play and you're right, they're physical and like Collinsworth said it when they were down six nothing Harbaugh was like, I don't want to say, I don't want to say Harbaugh's kind of got him where he wants, but this is the kind of game you want to play. But yeah, anytime the Chiefs aren't scoring 40, which it seems like forever now, you're in good shape.
18:04 Bill Simmons? Well, and they didn't have Dobbins and they didn't have McConkey and I thought when McConkey got scratched, which I didn't even know when we did like million dollar picks on Thursday, figured McConkey was going to play. They scratched him and after watching what we watched from Quentin Johnston this season, Palmer's been hit or miss. It's like, how are they going to move the ball? They basically got two drives where they just bullyballed the Chiefs down the field, which was unusual. And the Chiefs kind of figured out.
18:30 Speaker 02 We've got to figure something out with the, we got, he's going to try to play. That's a new thing. Like, yeah, he's going to try to play. It's like when you're, when your kid, the night before school is like, I'm not feeling well, but I'm going to try to go to school. It's like, no, that's a no. No way. Just email the teacher. You're not doing it. 10 year old staying home. We got him all day.
18:50 Bill Simmons? Chiefs now 12 and 1. They clinched their division.
18:56 Bill Simmons? It looks like it's, it's probably the one seed for them now. There's only four games left. The Steelers, I would say maybe have a chance because they, they play them. But don't the Chiefs and Steelers play on Christmas?
19:13 Speaker 02 They play on Christmas and that's a Wednesday, right? Like why, how, what, really? This is going to be three days rest for everybody?
19:20 Bill Simmons? They play on a Saturday and then a Wednesday.
19:22 Speaker 02 Oh, Saturday and Wednesday. Okay.
19:24 Bill Simmons? So you would say maybe the Steelers, if they beat them and then the Chiefs lost one more and the Steelers ran the slate, but I'm not seeing it. It feels like Casey locked up the one seed.
19:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, come on. Clanking it off the post. Ridiculous team.
19:38 Bill Simmons? So then that two seed goes between Buffalo and Pittsburgh, who are both 10 and 3. And I'm going to say this, Sal.
19:50 Bill Simmons? I officially think Pittsburgh's the best team in the AFC.
19:53 Speaker 02 Come on, you can't after, after a Jameis game, you can't claim that.
19:57 Bill Simmons? I think they're the best team. I feel the safest about them. If you start nitpicking all these AFC teams.
20:03 Speaker 02 Really?
20:04 Bill Simmons? I feel the most comfortable with Pittsburgh. Great defense. I think their defense can make plays, create turnovers, create pressure. They can cover. I just, I just like them. They can run the ball. They always seem to get like two or three 30 to 40 yard plays per game or a pass interference or something. They have unbelievable special teams. They have the best field goal kicker in the conference. They're gonna have home court, home field advantage for at least the first two rounds and they have an awesome coach. And I just think, I, I think right now, and I'll, feel free to change my mind in two weeks, but right now I feel the best about them all. They AFC teams.
20:44 Bill Simmons? Buffalo's defense you saw today. This Chiefs team can't get to 20 points. I think if the Steelers played the Chiefs right now is what we're watching from the Chiefs and that the Steelers would beat them.
20:54 Speaker 02 I think it's unfair to judge the Bills defense. I think that was, that was gonna happen. And by the way, I had my best bet on the ring of pregame show was the Rams over two and a half touchdowns. I didn't.
21:05 Bill Simmons? I was waiting. I was waiting for you to bring this up.
21:08 Speaker 02 I didn't think they scored six, but the point of this is of course I'm red hot and I'm wiping the mat with those other guys.
21:14 Bill Simmons? We're two red hot guys.
21:15 Speaker 02 I love that we're red hot, but, but we, I saw it coming. The Bills defense flying east to west. It was gonna have to let up eventually, right? And it makes sense. The, it was very soft. It was a very soft zone that Stafford threw against for three hours. But I don't want to judge that. Just like I'm not gonna judge how great the Steelers defense was against Jameis. I know they're very good in general.
21:37 Bill Simmons? I'm judging the three months. I, I've just been really impressed by, I thought they should have won the Colts game. Right? That Browns Thursday game, they had the lead with three minutes left and you know, that was stupid. I, I just think they've been the most impressively consistent team in the AFC this year. With that said, I'd have to take a big gulp before I went against Mahomes in a playoff game, especially if it was in Kansas City. But I don't know, I Pittsburgh, week after week, people keep looking for reasons not to even today. Pickens got scratched like, oh my God, the mind move toward Cleveland. You know, and it's like, they're fine. They're gonna make plays.
22:15 Speaker 02 They have 74 points fewer than the Bills and they've allowed 30 points less. So I, I, that's the team that would scare me if I was a Steelers. Like, I don't know, if you're going to Buffalo, that's a mess.
22:27 Bill Simmons? I think it's rock, paper, scissors, cuz the Chiefs can't get explosive plays. So if they played Buffalo, that's actually bad if you're the Chiefs, right? Because the way to beat the Chiefs is to basically move the ball on them. I think the Steelers could get explosive plays on the Bills. I think they would beat the Bills. But I think the Bills, the way they're set up right now, would probably beat the Chiefs.
22:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:48 Bill Simmons? And then maybe the Chiefs would beat the Steelers because it would be an 18 to 16 type game, which they specialize in. So maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's our answer.
22:56 Speaker 02 Maybe that's it. One thing the Bills showed me is that they can come back, right? Like, I, I think I would figured that anyway, but that was, that was a game that they really could have just walked off and like, all right, we'll lose this by 21. But they were in it till the very end.
23:08 Bill Simmons? All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game, only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows your live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun, sometimes earlier than expected? Sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead, but what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness, though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun, 1-2-3 Cancun.
23:52 Bill Simmons? Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. Well, let's switch topics then because that was the game of the season so far. I had some clinching questions. So the first clinching question was, did Bills Rams clinch game of the season so far?
24:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, I had my attention the whole time. I think so. What, what other candidates? I'm trying to think what else.
24:19 Bill Simmons? There were some good ones over the first third there, even the week one, that Baltimore KC game was really good. There's been some good ones, but this one.
24:25 Speaker 02 Cowboys Giants Thanksgiving was the highest rated. I don't, was it the best? I don't know. I don't know.
24:30 Bill Simmons? I didn't have that one. There's been a couple of good Lions games. Lions Packers on Thursday was good.
24:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:35 Bill Simmons? Um, what was cool about this one was the Rams took that big lead and it was not a turn off the channel game. It was like, all right, Josh will get this back.
24:42 Speaker 02 Right.
24:42 Bill Simmons? Josh will bring them back into this. They had 54 plays and scored 42 points. What was that, that stat Hench said us? They scored six touchdowns with zero turnovers. The first team 255 to lose.
24:56 Speaker 02 It's never been that. Yeah, exactly. 265 I think it was. Yeah.
24:59 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Yeah. They got a pretty good crowd too.
25:03 Speaker 02 It was good. It was fun all around. Um, I don't know that, uh, you know, switch it to the Rams for a second. I don't think, um, is this too much to say? I don't know if I've ever seen a receiver like Puka Nakua. Like as a possession receiver, he's phenomenal and you could miss by like three or four yards and he's going to catch it. And he's going to protect himself and all that, all that good stuff.
25:24 Bill Simmons? And they use him as a running back and he's like one of the best black and receivers in the league.
25:29 Speaker 02 Right.
25:30 Bill Simmons? And just seems like he can get open whenever he wants. He's kind of like the 2.0 version of Debo. Like whatever we thought Debo was, he's, he's a better version of it. He's finally healthy and he's awesome.
25:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:41 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah. Like any, it seems like now that those two guys are healthy.
25:45 Speaker 02 Hmm.
25:46 Bill Simmons? Anytime he had like third and seven, third and nine, third and five, and they put those two guys on the same side. And you didn't know if they were going to like run little pick plays for each other or what? It just felt like one of them was getting open.
25:56 Speaker 02 Absolutely. Yeah. Like I said, it was a soft zone and everything else, but he's great.
26:02 Bill Simmons? Rams had 457 yards on nine drives. They were 11 for 15 on third down.
26:12 Bill Simmons? And it seemed like if the Bills had scored fast enough with the three timeouts, somehow they had a chance to possibly steal the game, leading to one of the weirdest calls of the season, where they do QB sneak on first down. They don't get it and they call timeout, which immediately made it impossible for them to just kick off and get the stops, which Brady, who was fantastic today for him, I thought he was really good.
26:37 Speaker 02 Really good.
26:37 Bill Simmons? But Brady called it out even before the first down. He's like, you don't want a QB sneak here because if you don't get it, then you you're going to burn too much clock or use a timeout. They didn't have time. Like he spelled out everything that was about to happen, then it happened.
26:48 Speaker 02 But if you use one timeout in that situation, you might as well use all three, because then you're just relying on getting the onside kick versus, okay, if we don't get the onside kick, we could stop the clock three times. I I didn't understand that at all. They would have been better off sneaking up to the line of scrimmage and running a second down play and letting the clock go to 45. So that was where it was a miracle. They had three timeouts in the first place and that was the hard part. Then they blew it.
27:11 Bill Simmons? Right. Yeah, the play probably has to be like a rollout. Where he's either going to run it or pass quick or throw it out of bounds or like a shotgun quick pass, like the Malcolm Butler play, something like that. But the thing you can't do is QB sneak and then you can't then also call a timeout and ruin your chance. I'm always amazed that these coaches blow the basic like video game stuff. This is like a pretty basic 1.0 video game thing.
27:37 Speaker 02 Like I was, I like math and I was good in math, but I do think it is the video games. But for God's sakes, you you should be able, that that that was easy to me. Like that jumped out right away. How does McDermott not see that?
27:49 Bill Simmons? Do you think because we're just, because of the YouTube multi view and some of this other stuff? And we're just watching all these games and we're seeing so many situations we're getting in our 10,000 hours for game management now? I feel like I'm at the peak of my powers.
28:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, sure.
28:04 Bill Simmons? I watch these games. I'm just like, oh yeah, clearly you should never QB sneak here. But maybe when you're on the field and it's going so fast and there's 90 things you're worrying about, sometimes you lose like a sense of just what the most normal thing to do would be, which would be to not sneak it there. I don't know.
28:21 Speaker 02 But also are they not watching enough situational things? I feel like we're putting ourselves on a pedestal here, but the guys that are getting to the facility
28:29 Bill Simmons? That was an easy one.
28:30 Speaker 02 4:30 in the morning, they're just watching tape of the opponent and not worried about what what's going to happen at the end of games and how they should, you know, use their timeouts and timing and stuff.
28:41 Bill Simmons? I don't think a lot of this stuff is that hard. It's like if you have the three timeouts and there's under two minutes left and it's a two score game and you can somehow score a touchdown and keep your three timeouts, that's the goal. You want to be able to kick off and try to get a stop and hopefully get the ball back for a field goal would be the ideal, which they almost pulled off.
29:01 Speaker 02 I have friends that text me, barely got through junior college and know the ins and outs of all these. It's like this, this can't be hard stuff.
29:10 Bill Simmons? Ultimately for the Bills, not a big deal because they're going to be the two seed or the three seed. They've already clinched the AFC East a week ago. There's no chance they could fall to the four seed. They weren't going to catch the Chiefs probably anyway. And Josh, I think probably clinched the MVP once and for all today.
29:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, let's see.
29:28 Bill Simmons? It was the rare loss that helped clinch. Meanwhile, Lamar didn't even play. And I don't even know who else would be in the mix.
29:38 Speaker 02 Minus 450 for Allen. Well, Saquon was second last week, but he's, he's gone up to plus 550.
29:44 Bill Simmons? That's not happening. Sorry, Saquon. Tom Brady was good and I think, you know, I, I, there are only three games and I just, I put the three on the one TV together because I wanted to watch basketball. Sorry on the other ones. And I, I gave Brady the audio and I really listened like for the three hours and he's changed a couple of things that I thought were really important. Like he's, he's definitely, it feels like you're hanging out with him a little bit more.
30:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:14 Bill Simmons? He's reacting to what he's seeing. He's not doing like, oh, I have prep on this situation and now I'm going to do my prep. Doesn't feel like he's overproduced. But what we got, and I don't know if it was a case of like, we just had two awesome quarterbacks. And when it's awesome quarterbacks, he can put himself in the mind of the quarterback. But he was pointing out like, oh, here's what, and Burkhart was doing a good job of saying. Hey, when they're, when they're using all those words at the line, what does that mean? And then Brady's like, well, here's what that means. And that's like, that's exactly what I want from him. And then he was explaining like how to, how they're using the receivers, how they were exploiting certain things. The game management stuff, he was all over. I thought he was excellent.
30:52 Speaker 02 I thought it helped that he had his Hubie Brown moment. He just went horse. He went horse a little bit and it felt like he was in the game. Like it's all that stuff he said he did the previous weeks. No, he was in the game and he was liking it. And he was, he was doing it. He was inside of it. So it's good.
31:06 Bill Simmons? And like Nakua had that incredible catch when he kept his feet in. And Brady got so excited, it got me excited because I'm like, this guy's the best quarterback ever. If he's that excited about that catch, that must've been an awesome catch. So anyway, I think the Brady thing, it started out as rocky as you would have thought. I thought it was getting worse, like around week seven, week eight, week nine, which we talked about on the pod. And Thanksgiving was a little better and I thought today was really encouraging. I really feel like he's getting the hang of it.
31:33 Speaker 02 Yeah. All he needs is the best game of the year every week. That's it.
31:41 Bill Simmons? If you had Cooper Rush against Drew Lock, I wonder, I wonder if he would have been that great.
31:47 Bill Simmons? Did the NFC West clinch division you've changed your mind on the most status today?
31:54 Bill Simmons? Cause we've had another shift at the top. Seattle's now eight and five in the driver's seat and they were dead two weeks ago.
32:00 Speaker 02 Yeah. I think the good news is we're not going to change our minds again. Right?
32:04 Bill Simmons? We've changed it nine times.
32:05 Speaker 02 For December and they're only minus 135. Well, because I guess the Rams are right there at plus 160. But the Cardinals have fallen off at 13 to one now I'm seeing on fan though, but.
32:14 Bill Simmons? They're done. They lost to Seattle twice and they're two back. Like it's a rap.
32:18 Speaker 02 That's it. So it's just the Rams and Seattle for the division. And I, I think Seattle showed some toughness. You know, that's one of the narratives. Like, I feel like we drive some of these narratives and whatever our top three or four narratives are going into Monday. We should scrap all of them and start over. One of them was going to be like, oh, Kenneth, without Kenneth Walker, they're not going to be as tough as Arizona. Yeah, they were much tougher on both sides of the ball.
32:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah, they ran the ball. Their two running backs that weren't Kenneth Walker, 29 for 172.
32:47 Speaker 02 Charbonneau.
32:47 Bill Simmons? Geno, no turnovers and they got the middle of their defensive linebacker. My big fear with them is that they couldn't block, but they actually seemed like they blocked a little bit better today.
32:59 Bill Simmons? We have a lot of future stuff with Seattle.
33:02 Speaker 02 We do.
33:03 Bill Simmons? That was, I think, the one I had. I had division bets with them. I had over bets with them.
33:10 Bill Simmons? Make the playoff bets, all kinds of things. That looked pretty bleak a couple of weeks ago. Now we look at them. I actually think they might be good. I don't know if they're on the Detroit, Green Bay.
33:22 Bill Simmons? Maybe even Minnesota, Philly level. Maybe they're probably fifth in that group, but
33:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:28 Bill Simmons? They have, they have a bunch of good players on both sides of the ball and they, when Gino's not making any mistakes, you watch them and you go, all right, I get this. So I think they're going to be, they're a three seed. Right now, they would, they would be playing a Green Bay in the three, six.
33:44 Speaker 02 I like it. Two solid teams.
33:47 Bill Simmons? It's a nice game.
33:48 Speaker 02 Really good first round matchup. I do think there's a team out there that, not that we owe an apology for, but it's time we give them the recognition. You mentioned it briefly, the Vikings.
34:00 Bill Simmons? Oh, today was.
34:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:02 Bill Simmons? Today was great.
34:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's time though. It's time. We have to do it.
34:07 Bill Simmons? Wait, can we hold it for one second? I just want to rip through the NFC West quick.
34:11 Speaker 02 Yes, good.
34:12 Bill Simmons? Arizona's six and seven. They're done. Niners are six and seven.
34:18 Bill Simmons? Not totally done. You also have Washington at eight and five with the last wild card spot that who the hell knows what's gonna happen with them. They have New Orleans on the road this week. Home Philly, home Atlanta. At Dallas, I would assume that gets them to at least 10 wins, which would knock out a couple of these teams.
34:37 Speaker 02 Right.
34:37 Bill Simmons? But Seattle has Green Bay home, Minnesota home, Chicago on the road, Rams on the road.
34:47 Bill Simmons? And then the Rams have San Francisco and the Jets on the road, home zone, a home Seattle. So it might come down to that Rams, Seattle game.
34:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. And that's what we thought. I mean, I was like, this is the only division that's going to come down to week 18. Now I'm not even sure if we get that, but at San Francisco is a tough. Now the 49ers are kind of back, not maybe in the mix, but they're going to be spoiler, I think. If not next week, somewhere in the road.
35:14 Bill Simmons? That was the one. So that was the bet I lost this week. I did well this week and that was the one. And I didn't just lose it. It was an annihilation. They look good, but the Bears also look bad. There's no such thing as the new coach, apparently, but I don't know what to believe with the Niners. Is that the Bears were just bad or the Niners back? Like, I honestly don't know. And I had that game on for three hours.
35:37 Speaker 02 I don't know either. I mean, you see that stat in the second quarter or close to half, it's 310 to two. And yeah, I think you're right. I think that means that there's no new coach energy. There's no.
35:49 Bill Simmons? It's dead.
35:50 Speaker 02 Two yards.
35:51 Bill Simmons? We had the Jets didn't cover with the new coach and they didn't cover. The Clogger covered.
35:55 Speaker 02 Right.
35:56 Bill Simmons? So.
35:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's it. And what did San Francisco? They're like, that was another narrative that we could throw out. Like they're done. They have too many injuries. And then, you know, everybody bid $37 on Isaac Guarando and he got them into the playoffs in fantasy and he took over today. And now he's.
36:15 Bill Simmons? There's one, there's one Arizona question that we have to ask because Kyler sucked again today. He had two terrible picks and that game against Seattle a couple of weeks ago, he had that awful play on fourth and one that basically was the swing that blew the game for them. And Harrison, considering he's the fourth pick in the draft, I can't say he's been jumping off my TV. Though Arizona was six and four three weeks ago and we were feeling good about them. And I liked them. I liked how they were playing. And now, now I'm wondering, like, are these, what are these last four weeks going to mean for Kyler? And is this the guy that's going to be the QB for them because they don't have a huge fan base. They're not going to be leading first take tomorrow. Nobody really cares.
36:58 Bill Simmons? But you know, this has been a recurring thing with Kyler where it feels like he's can keep you around, but he's not quite good enough. He can do the garbage time TD at the end of the game. That makes it seem like the game was closer than it was, but I just, we have a lot of evidence now that you might not be able to trust them against a good defense.
37:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, they don't finish drives. They don't, you know, there are just still some coaches in the division that they never beat or barely beat. And like you said, they were winning despite the fact that Harrison wasn't having a great year. I think he probably has five or six touchdowns, but you know, you will wait, you were expecting him to go for like six for 150 most games and not that at all. Now they've lost three in a row, right?
37:38 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Well, Bowers turned out to be the receiver from the draft. All right. Your guy Sam Darnold. So 347 yards, five TDs today. He's had clutch games over and over again. Last week brought them down to win it today. Like that Falcons game was a little closer. So I'm sure you watched it too. Like I know the score and it's going to blow up, but I was nervous about the Falcons for two hours in that game and Darnold was just winging it downfield. He really has energy with Jefferson and Addison and.
38:13 Speaker 02 Addison, about three touchdowns. It's craziness.
38:15 Bill Simmons? So he has almost 3,300 yards, Darnold, 28 touchdowns and 10 picks. And if they are in round one, he'll probably be like a four plus point favorite. He's on a one-year deal. They have J.J. McCarthy. I'd be really hesitant not to bring him back. I think they have to. I, this is, this, today was the first day where I was like, wow, they might have actually found their QB and maybe they should think about trading J.J. McCarthy.
38:43 Speaker 02 It's interesting. There aren't too many out there like him and we're going to talk about some shitty franchises probably a little later. And this is, this is the way to rebound. Like you have to kind of strike gold with a guy like this who's getting 10 million a year and you could do that for a couple of seasons.
38:58 Bill Simmons? Like after Baker Mayfield, Geno on a smaller scale, but I would say Darnold has a higher upside than both of them because of the pedigree he had once upon a time.
39:07 Speaker 02 I think so too. I think the Yankees should offer him 650 million for 15 for sure, if you ask me.
39:13 Bill Simmons? Well, so six teams need a quarterback next year. Vegas, the Giants, Titans, Saints. Maybe the Seahawks if they can't agree to a deal with Gino. And maybe the Niners if they can't figure out a Brock Purdy extension. And I was looking at those teams and it's like, if you're Vegas and you could get Sam Darnold and you draft Travis Hunter and you have the money to spend, like, I'm probably, probably doing that. Like this guy, the, the Niners really liked him. The Vikings seem like they love him. And then if I'm the Vikings, I don't know, I'd have to really think about this one. He's only 27. It's not like he's Kirk Cousins. He's not 37, like heading into his late 30s.
39:58 Bill Simmons? Like this is, he's entering the prime of his career and he's playing great.
40:00 Speaker 02 Nicks. Right.
40:01 Bill Simmons? Yeah. And he, and he has real chemistry with the receivers.
40:05 Speaker 02 They're loaded offensively, but he's won them a few games now, you know? And you said 28 and 10. What, what do you have? 3,300 yards? Like this is, I don't know. He's not the reason they're 11 and two, but uh, you know, you get rid of them, you know, get used to being seven and six with the new guy, whoever it is. Right? I think he's, I think it's easy at this point, honestly.
40:28 Bill Simmons? Yeah. If you're like, if you're just watching them on red zone and you're just seeing the highlights, you've probably seen some of the long passes. The, the thing that jumps out to me is like, they're really nice, long, beautiful, on target passes. Like he really, and he had, he got lucky today with the first touchdown he had. He just, he, his arm kind of got touched. So it was an under throw and Addison made a great play. But when you have two weapons like that, you want a guy who's like not afraid to wing it downfield and who has the confidence to, and if he makes a mistake is going to come back. I think that's been the thing that's been the most impressive with them.
41:00 Speaker 02 Gets them out of trouble. Yep.
41:02 Bill Simmons? I, we're at the point, if I was a Jets fan, I'd actually be like legitimately bummed out about it.
41:08 Speaker 02 The good news is like a hundred things.
41:10 Bill Simmons? I know he's been on three teams. I, I listen, I get it. He's been on three teams since, but I was like, oh my God. Like really? This guy's like this good?
41:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:18 Bill Simmons? So I remember the, in the seventies when we lost, we, Plunkett was the number one pick for the Pats and he just got the shit kicked out of him. They end up like trading him. He gets waived. Then he ends up on the Raiders in the Superbowl and our quarterbacks were terrible when I was a kid. And then Plunkett's like winning the Super Bowl and it was kind of like, wait, what's going on? We had this guy. It's really frustrating. Um, but
41:40 Speaker 02 Well, I mean, yeah, on a different scale, it's like the Bears, what they did for years with Mahomes. Like, yeah, we could have had this guy. I know people say they could have had him, but we were interested and we passed on him. So yeah, there's a million what ifs like that, but you know, the Jets for sure are kicking themselves.
41:57 Bill Simmons? It's tough with these late bloomer reclamation guys, because you know, that case Keenum year, we were doing pods and it was legitimate. Like he was moving the ball and making plays, but you know, physically he wasn't a big guy. He didn't have like a cannon arm and there was, you, you knew there were some smoke and mirrors in it as it was happening, but they were winning with them. So you couldn't say much. Darnold's like, kind of checks all the boxes for, you know, I don't think he would be like a top seven quarterback, but he, he has the size, he has the arm, he has the confidence, um, he can move around. He had one touchdown that he created today where he like somehow did this Jedi fucking move to get out of it. It seemed like he was going to get sacked and bought time and just winged it down and it's a touchdown.
42:40 Bill Simmons? Like I, I'm really impressed. And, um, my buddy who's a Vikes fan like loves him. He's just like, I like, I just love Darnold. Like I don't want him to go.
42:49 Speaker 02 Yeah. I mean, and if you rank the, uh, let's say we, we were in the playoffs now, you ranked the quarterbacks. He wouldn't be at the bottom. He wouldn't be at the bottom of the list. And, and for teams that didn't make the playoffs, like Tua, I'd have him over Tua right now, you know?
43:04 Bill Simmons? I'd have him. That's, yeah, no question.
43:06 Speaker 02 Some of these other teams, I'm not, you know, I don't know. I just trust him more.
43:11 Bill Simmons? Do you think he's playing better than Love?
43:15 Speaker 02 I think it's close. I feel like
43:16 Bill Simmons? I think he is.
43:17 Speaker 02 We, you know, we did a weird thing, right? With this division, like we have so much in stock. We, we ranked them one through four in the beginning of the year and we have all that stuff going on. And then we have, oh, Lions are playing great. And then we're like, whoa, the Lions defense is decimated. And then they hold the Packers to under 300 yards. Another narrative that went south. But I think we were raising the stock of Jordan Love and the Packers when we probably should have been looking at the Vikings. Right? Like at this point, I think I'd be more surprised if the Packers pulled off an upset in the playoffs than if the Vikings did.
43:50 Bill Simmons? Well, the thing with them, they they won a couple stupid games early on, right? Like that.
43:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, a lot of.
43:57 Bill Simmons? Jets game, that Jets game in London in week five, when the Jets felt like the Jets were going to win the game and they didn't. They lost to Detroit, the Rams twice in a row. They had that weird stretch where they beat Indy and the Jags and Tennessee all in a row. And it's like, what is this? They barely beat the Bears in a game that it felt like the Bears should have won. Then last week against Arizona, Arizona had the game. It was 19 to six. It felt like it was over. This was a real statement game for them and it was also a statement for Atlanta because I don't know how long. I I just can't imagine they can keep playing Cousins.
44:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, that was a dumb pick by me Atlanta this week. He has eight interceptions in the last four games and I don't know, like, why did they draft Penix? Like, it's a genius pick if you start him, but otherwise it's a huge waste unless there's something like, we don't know, like a Trey Lance situation, like, no, he's just bad behind the scenes, like, you know, trust us, he's not ready.
44:54 Bill Simmons? Because we talked, we talked about this last week, right? Like, did they, they had that six weeks after they signed him?
45:00 Speaker 02 Right. In March, yeah.
45:01 Bill Simmons? Did they know something from those six weeks?
45:04 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
45:05 Bill Simmons? Cousins, zero TDs in the last four weeks, six picks in the last two weeks and two awful, awful, awful picks today. I mean, the, the problem with him is they're not just interceptions. They're horrible. They're like suck the life out of the team, bad place. And like him compared to Darnold, there was no contest. If you said which, which one of these guys got 100 million guaranteed last year to somebody who just woke up from a coma, they would have thought it was Darnold.
45:34 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. A lot of big contracts for Cousins. Yeah, I don't know how he does it. I really don't. And if, if it's, you know, I haven't seen the metrics. If, did he, did he surpass 36 miles an hour? Because that was the big one. That's when.
45:47 Bill Simmons? I felt like he had a couple that got into the low 40s today.
45:50 Speaker 02 Oh, that's good.
45:50 Bill Simmons? I don't know.
45:52 Bill Simmons? Do you, there's this narrative about how the Giants actually probably need Sam Darnold the most, but they can't sign him because he was on the Jets and they'd be bringing him back to Giants Stadium.
46:03 Speaker 02 Interesting.
46:04 Bill Simmons? I think that's stupid, but I also can't speak for the despair of Giants and Jets fans these days, but to get somebody that was a Jets cast off, like mentally is some sort of invisible hump for them, apparently.
46:18 Speaker 02 Well, unless he thrives with the Giants, isn't that the best medicine, right? There's a little bit of what I'm feeling with Juan Soto right now with the Yankees, but I think that would be great. I'm sorry, just.
46:28 Bill Simmons? I would go dome team if I was Sam.
46:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:32 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
46:33 Speaker 02 It does seem like he's, he's better there and the Giants, um, the Giants, I don't know if you watched that game, but I.
46:40 Bill Simmons? I tried not to.
46:41 Speaker 02 Well, when they're driving to win, like you know, the front office is like, oh, don't, what are you doing, Drew Lock, just to get tripped up here or something like that's the, that's the red zone I want to see, like the owner's box when the two team, two win team is driving and you know, you know, they don't, the players don't tank because they can't, they'll get killed, but you know, the front office is like, we gotta stay at two wins. We have to get that top pick. We'll figure out who it is then.
47:08 Bill Simmons? I made a business decision to not watch that game or Jags Titans and concentrate on all the other ones. And one of the games switched over to, to Giants Saints, right? As like that big Drew Lock drive at the end, a big long scramble.
47:22 Speaker 02 Turn your head.
47:24 Bill Simmons? No, I actually, I, I realized that I should have actually been more focused on it because if the Giants won, the Pats would have gotten, they would have been the number two pick in the draft, basically, unless they win again. And so all of a sudden I'm rooting for the Giants and then of course they, they Giants it up at the end and that was, that was it. So Pats are at the number three spot right now.
47:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, Raiders and Raiders and Giants are the top two. Is that right?
47:47 Bill Simmons? Yeah. So Tampa has. Tampa is up by a game now.
47:53 Speaker 02 Like it.
47:53 Bill Simmons? In the NFC South, a bet that you made and I did not, but they have Chargers next week. At LA, at Dallas, home for Carolina in a game that's suddenly tough because I guess Carolina is just going to be frisky every game now. And then New Orleans at home to end it with Derek Carr probably not playing. So I think.
48:15 Speaker 02 He was a little reckless today. He's, he, yeah, but he was reckless. He really was. I mean, the Raiders can't help themselves and, and, and just blow it towards the end. But, um, you know, they're like, you want to turn the ball over three times? We got you. We got you. We got your back Bucks. 28 13 before you look.
48:32 Bill Simmons? Well, and then Aiden O'Connell left.
48:34 Speaker 02 Right.
48:34 Bill Simmons? Riddler came in. Desmond Rare. He's back.
48:41 Bill Simmons? So the Steelers couldn't say AFC North, maybe. I think if they split that one of the next two games, they probably have it. They lead the NFL in takeaways. And, uh, and the most interesting thing to me about that game was just that they did that well without Pickens. And then Mike Williams made a couple of plays for them.
49:00 Speaker 02 Well, this is a tough week, right? Cause they're at Philly and Baltimore's got to walk over against the Giants. So it could be cut to one and then they have the head to head.
49:11 Bill Simmons? Except they're catching Philly during a week when.
49:13 Speaker 02 Right.
49:14 Bill Simmons? They looked awful against Carolina and then AJ Brown had a really weird interview after. It was just like. The Eagles, they just don't want to be loved. That's who they are. There was too much love for them the last week. People, especially when Detroit's defense got banged up. Even I was thinking, I thought they had a chance to maybe be the best team in the league with Detroit's defense. You know, kind of cratering and, um, they barely beat Carolina. And if you missed the game, I know you didn't, but. Leggett had the touchdown and dropped it. The game was over. I thought he caught it. I was furious like you. I probably had Philly and. Five UFC NFL parlays that I made yesterday that were lingering over. I'm like, oh my God, really? They're going to lose this, but he dropped it.
49:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. I, I believe me. I had him. I did him on money line parlays with all those things you just said. And one guy had $3.1 million on the Eagles. So that became a rooting interest as well.
50:10 Bill Simmons? You know, when I saw that, that made me think Carolina had a chance because that's just too much money. This has to get weird now.
50:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like when the, when the betters are getting up for the games more than the team, but that might be it. Like maybe, maybe you just don't, how much are you going to get up for the Panthers coming to town and in December after you've rocked everybody. But um, yeah, the AJ Brown thing is weird for sure.
50:33 Bill Simmons? I think if Green Bay had beaten Detroit on Thursday and Philly had a chance to be the one seed, they might've approached that game a little differently. Now they're like, ah, we are where we are. They're basically locked into the two seed, right?
50:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't think.
50:45 Bill Simmons? There's no scenario where they're not the two seed. They have a three game lead over Seattle and a four game lead over Tampa.
50:52 Speaker 02 Yep, two seed.
50:55 Bill Simmons? Bryce Young though, so they're on their own two, they're down six. I'm just getting excited for our stupid picks pool because I had Philly minus 12 and a half or 13. I'm like, oh, Bryce will throw a pick six and somehow Philly's going to cover. And then he just kind of started marching down the field. Dillon made a couple of big plays. I thought Bryce was really impressive. I thought, I had that in my multi-view on for the whole game and was watching some of it. And I thought Bryce, he clearly has salvaged whatever he needed to salvage. He's got to be the guy for them next year.
51:31 Speaker 02 He is decent, man. He really is. And you, you went over it and how fluky it was for him to get his job back, right? It was like a Dalton family car accident and stuff, but I think the player you're talking about, like he scrambled on third down from his three. He, he ran just up to, I don't even know if he realized if he wasn't over the line yet when he passed it and then got him down the field. And um, but yeah, they're going to be, they're going to be a pain in the ass team. We no longer have a team where we could just bet against.
51:59 Bill Simmons? And that's why, that's why I've been so uh.
52:04 Bill Simmons? Kind of pissy about the Patriots because I think when you have these young teams that are going nowhere, when, once you hit like late November, early December, it could go one of two ways. Either you go the way the Giants are going where you've lost eight straight and it's just a comedy of errors. You go the way the Patriots are going where you're looking at every part of the team other than the quarterback going, are we better at one spot than we were eight weeks ago? And you look at Carolina, they've been in these close games now. I think this was their sixth straight game. There, there was a point when they looked like they might be the worst team in the league.
52:38 Speaker 02 Well, they're still losing them all. So I mean, you know,
52:40 Bill Simmons? They're losing them all, but starting, they beat the Saints, they beat the Giants, they lost KC by three, they lost to Tampa by three, they lost to Philly by six and dropped the game winning touchdown. That's a six week sample size. If you include the bye week, I feel like they won that. But then you look at a team like the Pats, even Vegas has shown like a little something, you know, when you consider they probably have the worst quarterback situation in the league.
53:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:09 Bill Simmons? And they almost beat KC last week. They kind of hung around against Tampa.
53:14 Speaker 02 Well, your Patriots have been in a couple of these. I mean, I know it's not, you know, the Titans and stuff. It's not, not going to get too excited.
53:20 Bill Simmons? I feel like we could be seven and six. If we had Belichick, we'd be seven and six. That's where I've landed.
53:26 Speaker 02 But with Steve Belichick?
53:27 Bill Simmons? Steve, if we had Steve Belichick. Or we had Belichick's girlfriend.
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54:14 Bill Simmons? to know you. So they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. We'll talk about the Jets who clinched 2024's most depressing team today.
54:29 Bill Simmons? They played actually pretty well the whole game and Tua was bad. I thought, thought he was all over the place. He would have one good throw. He would have a terrible throw. The team had no flow at all. Couple of times, it just seems like he's leading his receivers toward a spot where they're just going to get decked. Waddle a couple of times, I almost felt like pulled up a little because he's like, no, I'm not, stop.
54:52 Speaker 02 Don't you feel like the way he tilts his body when he drops back to pass and maybe he looks weirder because he's a lefty, but the way he turns his body, it feels like anyone could know to jump a route, right?
55:03 Bill Simmons? Right. Which is why he's throwing it so fast. He gets rid of it in two seconds.
55:08 Speaker 02 He was fine, except when he can't, but yeah.
55:11 Bill Simmons? And Rogers was okay for how he's been this year, but had some, I mean, the funniest one was he had Wilson open by 30 yards and somehow led him out of bounds on the throw. He caught it and like, just it was an 80 yard touchdown with anybody. But they had the game and it felt like they were going to win. Two minute warning. They get a first down and Miami's 27. Miami has two timeouts left. Clock ticks down to like, under 120. And here's what they did. They ran for minus five. Timeout Miami. Rogers gets sacked for minus six. Timeout Miami. Miami has no timeouts left. And we're close to a minute left. Rogers throws a 14 yard out to Adams, who goes out of bounds with a minute left.
55:54 Speaker 02 Yep.
55:55 Bill Simmons? Jets kick a field goal, go up three, but now instead of having 15 seconds left, the Dolphins have a minute left. They return the kickoff to midfield. They end up tying it. They win it in OT. It was abominable. But the Jets suck, so nobody cares, but it was about as bad clock management as we've seen this year.
56:12 Speaker 02 It was really bad. You know, the, the, the DJ was bad on the other side too, but you're right. Like, I don't know why Adams is going out of bounds on that play. If you run for four yards and the clock runs, it's better. Even if you miss the field goal, it's better than what they, they did there.
56:27 Bill Simmons? No, they could have kneeled three times. That would have been better.
56:29 Speaker 02 They could have kneeled. Yeah, just don't go backwards. Yeah. But the DJ, if I could bring that up for a second, McDaniel, that, this is my biggest pet peeve in sports. When you're fourth and three on plus territory at the 45, you have to, have to, have to go for the hard count. You have to. You have to try.
56:49 Bill Simmons? When you punted without even doing it?
56:50 Speaker 02 You can't just bring the punt team on. You have to line up and then if you, if you don't do it. And they punted through the end zone, which they did. I think the authorities should come down and just take you off the field right there. Because you just don't get it. You're not trying. These guys are the jittery jets. You can get them to jump offsides. It happens like one out of every seven times. So just try it.
57:15 Bill Simmons? It's a great point. I like it. I'm mad that he has a nickname already. Thanks to Lombardi, the DJ, because I think Young Dexter would have been a good nickname, too. Because he's in Miami.
57:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:26 Bill Simmons? He kind of looks like he's just gonna go back to some room and plan some murders.
57:30 Speaker 02 He could, he could have a few nicknames. He could be like Shaq with just like six or seven nicknames. There's no reason not to. Young Dexter.
57:39 Bill Simmons? I wonder like, I've been thinking a lot about the head coach stuff because I really hope the, I don't think they will, but I'm really hoping the Patriots just get Brady. I just don't understand why we wouldn't. He's in the Patriots Hall of Fame. I know he's a good coach. Like just, let's admit the Mayo thing didn't work. Let's just get Brady. Let's get a real coach. We have this unbelievable quarterback. Like, let's not waste one year with this. Let's just get him an awesome coach and let's try to build around the coach and the quarterback like we did for 20 years, Belichick and Brady. But I was thinking about what makes a coach succeed and what doesn't. Over and over again, it's like the hot play caller gets called in. Or it's like this amazing defensive whiz or like this guy is like, are we doing this wrong? I guess is my point.
58:22 Bill Simmons? Because over and over again, it seems like if they, like if they fired Mayo. No, like we've hired Ben Johnson, the Lions whiz kid, offensive coordinator. It's gonna be great for Drake May. My responsibility, is he? Are we sure? Does he know how to coach like all aspects of a team? I know he could probably draw up some cool plays like the DJ.
58:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:42 Bill Simmons? But does he know how to like lead men? Does he know, understand game situations? Like, we always rave about these great coaches that we have in the league that you and I love to bet on, like Tomlin and Andy Reid and, you know, the Harbaughs. And these guys, these aren't like whiz kids specialist things. They're like attitude. They got, they're like leaders of men who look for specific things. They build through the Lions. I don't understand why everybody doesn't do that.
59:06 Speaker 02 Wow. I think I'm.
59:08 Bill Simmons? That's my soliloquy.
59:09 Speaker 02 I really, well, I think the answer is there might not be enough guys like that. There just aren't, right? I mean, it might be just be a handful leaders of men. I mean, you got Dan Campbell. You love his post-game speeches. I saw the tweet.
59:20 Bill Simmons? He's another one.
59:21 Speaker 02 Right. He's awesome. Uh, he's gonna win coach of the year if not for the Lions' great record because of these speeches and these get on SportsCenter. And if you're a Dan Quinn or a Mike Tomlin or an Andy Reid, you kind of have to step it up. You'd like take your shirt off in the locker room and let that get on TV.
59:38 Bill Simmons? Right.
59:38 Speaker 02 If you're gonna win this coach of the year thing because he's pretty damn good. And, uh, you're right.
59:43 Bill Simmons? Oh, that's a good point. You gotta think of.
59:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:45 Bill Simmons? You almost have to think of the post-game YouTube clip or the Twitter clip on that.
59:50 Speaker 02 You're right.
59:50 Bill Simmons? For trying to win coach of the year.
59:52 Speaker 02 You're gonna bang your head against a locker.
59:53 Bill Simmons? Like an actor.
59:54 Speaker 02 Strip down, but wave the shirt over your head, do something.
59:58 Bill Simmons? Campbell uses his notes, which I thought was interesting. I don't know if you've noticed that.
1:00:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:02 Bill Simmons? He has notes. He's like, all right, first ball, and he looks down. Maybe that could be Tomlin's edge. Tomlin has no notes. He just knows who to give the game ball to.
1:00:09 Speaker 02 Teleprompter. Yeah.
1:00:11 Bill Simmons? Yeah, anyway, my point is, I, I just think the whiz kid thing, I, I think we're gonna grow out of that soon. It feels like that goes wrong way more than it goes right.
1:00:21 Speaker 02 Cliff Kingsbury last week was the number one guy for the Bears in terms of like odds and stuff. Like, like, how much do you need to see about with, with him, right?
1:00:30 Bill Simmons? Right. Arizona thing went so badly, they, they paid him to go away during the season.
1:00:35 Speaker 02 And even the coordinator thing's a little sketchy at this point, so.
1:00:38 Bill Simmons? Also, all right, let's say Steve Sarkisian's a good, no, that's, that's Steve, Steve Spagnolo. I got my double S's confused. Spagnolo is a good example. Like, he was a head coach, didn't work.
1:00:50 Speaker 02 Right.
1:00:50 Bill Simmons? He might go to the Hall of Fame as a defensive coordinator. Would you rather be like the most incredible offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator? I know you make more money as a coach, but like Josh McDaniels is a good example. He was an excellent offensive coordinator and a terrible head coach.
1:01:08 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
1:01:08 Bill Simmons? So maybe sometimes it's okay, maybe to be just like an overqualified, awesome, properly paid defensive coordinator versus getting thrown. I know they have to do it. I know it's a bigger job. It's more money. You gotta do it, but.
1:01:21 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, maybe if Andy Reid had given him like a nicer Christmas gift, Eric Biennium would be around and they wouldn't be scoring like 16 points a game, like things like that. But yeah, you're right.
1:01:31 Bill Simmons? Do you know who the running backs coach is of the commanders?
1:01:35 Speaker 02 Uh, I don't, I don't think so.
1:01:37 Bill Simmons? It's Anthony Lynn.
1:01:40 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:01:41 Bill Simmons? Remember him?
1:01:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:42 Bill Simmons? That's the thing. These guys get one head coaching job and then they go back and they're like a coordinator, like a linebackers coach or running backs coach or like a D backs coach or a special teams coach. And a lot of times they get their one shot and that's it. But that, the big picture point is Vrabel stated there, Belichick might go to college for God's sakes. Cause he's so disgruntled. Um, all right, next topic. Oh, I, I want to do a quick Jets thing. The Jets had, they went 0-7 in these games that they almost won. And I'm just going to remind you of the games really quick. The Denver bad weather game, 10-9 and the guy missed a field goal.
1:02:21 Speaker 02 Missed field goal.
1:02:22 Bill Simmons? And they also lost the ball on downs. Minnesota in London, they had a first down inside the 30, down six, and then Rogers threw a pick. Bills 23-20, they lost that. They were midfield, three minutes left, driving, Rogers threw a pick. Pats 25-22, they lost. They missed a two point to go up seven and then the Pats drove down the field and won the game on them. Colts 28-27, they actually scored, gave up a game winning drive to Anthony Richardson, which that has somehow happened twice this year. Seattle 26-21, first down inside the 30, lost ball on downs. And then Dolphins, they lose by six today and I have no idea how they lost. Is it possible the Jets weren't bad?
1:03:06 Bill Simmons? Like the Jets are three and 10. Is it possible they, they actually weren't bad? Like even if they go four and three in those games, they're seven and six right now, like battling for a seventh seed.
1:03:16 Speaker 02 They can't close games. There are plenty of bad teams that are, were in one score games.
1:03:21 Bill Simmons? You could literally pinpoint Rogers as the reason they're three and 10 instead of seven and six. I didn't realize it was that like easy to. Figure out.
1:03:31 Speaker 02 All right, I guess so. By that, by that, if you're gonna measure it like that, but I also think he should be tired. Yeah. He, he, he was, he, he went over 300 yards today. He should be like, that's it. It's not gonna get better than that. I have a Netflix documentary coming out next week and I passed for 300 yards and I'm never gonna blame myself.
1:03:47 Bill Simmons? You and I both had the Dolphins money on them.
1:03:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, I was scared for a minute.
1:03:52 Bill Simmons? They were reprehensible for most of that game. They looked like they didn't really want to be there. They looked like they thought the game was three hours later than it was. Nail hustled over and got dressed and just kinda ran out and didn't warm up.
1:04:05 Bill Simmons? I, I was alarmed by how, and the Jets moved the ball up and down on them the whole game. They didn't have Breece Hall. It was, it was pretty disgusting and then Miami ends up winning anyway.
1:04:13 Speaker 02 Our buddy JJ was there. He goes there. He's like, he's like an old man. He flies from New York. He goes to, has to have the sun. He's there and he was like, by the end of the game, he texts us like, I was shaking. I was shaking at the end. I was like, why were you shaking? Monumental win that puts it, you lost like six draft spots.
1:04:31 Bill Simmons? Six and seven. We're one away from 500.
1:04:34 Speaker 02 It's like, oh man, if he was shaking about that, he's not gonna be happy about Juan Soto.
1:04:39 Bill Simmons? Let's do.
1:04:42 Bill Simmons? Let's do the most depressing, most depressing, most depressing franchise rankings.
1:04:48 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:04:50 Bill Simmons? Right now, in your opinion, who is the most depressing franchise? If you're a fan and you're looking at the season you're having, the assets you have, your quarterback coach situation, what your picks are, your salary cap situation, the division you're in, the conference you're in, everything, who should be the most depressed right now?
1:05:08 Speaker 02 Cleveland Browns.
1:05:10 Bill Simmons? I have them number one as well.
1:05:11 Speaker 02 Without hesitation. Now, the Jameis stuff, he, he's a miracle. He's a lot of fun to watch. I think he should be like an all-time quarterback from Monday Night Football or something. Cause he's so much fun. And today, we didn't even get a great Jameis game. We got like a, a four, but if he could, he could do anything from.
1:05:28 Bill Simmons? He was actually kinda bad today.
1:05:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. It was, I, I don't like if he's just bad. I want him to be great and bad, but ultimately worse. But yeah, it's a, they owe their quarterback $92 million over the next two years. They're a losing franchise. They have borderline criminal owners, alleged bribery scandal all over the place and they're in a tough, I mean, that division. It's gross. How are they gonna, uh, they'll, they'll play like today. They'll be tied to the close for a minute and that's it. But I'm, they're looking at like six and 11 in next few years, I think, at best.
1:06:01 Bill Simmons? I had the number one as well. My second pick was the Giants.
1:06:09 Bill Simmons? Eight straight losses. Most incompetent NFL franchise, really for the last decade. If you, if you look at record, you look at all the stuff that's happened with them. They don't have a QB coach or GM.
1:06:22 Bill Simmons? I, I want at least one of the three, if I'm, you know, they're 0 for 3. Today, a plane flew over the stadium that said, Mr. Mara, enough, please fix this dumpster fire. Was flying over the stadium. And now they're gonna have the number one pick and it's a draft where nobody really likes the QBs.
1:06:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:06:40 Bill Simmons? It's rough. And you're gonna have to talk yourself into Sam Darnold. I think they have to be second. Would you have anybody over them?
1:06:46 Speaker 02 Um. If I had to go next, I would take the Bears, I think.
1:06:52 Bill Simmons? Oh, interesting. I had that Bears number nine.
1:06:55 Speaker 02 Oh, you did? Oh, wow. What do you have above that?
1:06:57 Bill Simmons? Cause I think you could talk yourself into Caleb and they, you know, they've had some draft picks and.
1:07:03 Speaker 02 I, I think that division's gonna be very good for a while and I feel like it's a little depressing, the Caleb thing right now. And they, they just don't really, I, I don't think they know what they're doing in the front office. And, uh, I, you know, they're in a loud, much like the Giants, they're in a loud city, you know? They're never gonna hear the end of how bad they are forever. So it gets amplified.
1:07:24 Bill Simmons? Who do you have? I had the Raiders third for me.
1:07:28 Bill Simmons? They're paying three coaches right now. They have the worst record in the league. They've had no results whatsoever, other than that one year they made the playoffs with, uh, with Carr. When Max Crosby was fun. We had Pit Boss Rich, that was fun, I guess.
1:07:43 Speaker 02 That was good.
1:07:45 Bill Simmons? No QB. I don't, I guess Tom Brady is now a part owner, but there's just not a lot going on. And I'm in a division now with Mahomes and Harbaugh and Herbert and Sean Payton. And I'm just bummed if I'm a Raiders fan.
1:08:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, what did the, I think they interviewed 31 agents. Was James Baby Doll Dixon one of them? I don't know, but they said, they all said they were the worst run organization, the Raiders. And they've been taking wild swings for 25 years and can't get there.
1:08:15 Bill Simmons? Who'd you have for four?
1:08:16 Speaker 02 Okay, for four, uh, worst franchise, I'm gonna go Quiznos.
1:08:21 Speaker 02 You know, we had someone work at Jimmy Kim Live and moved to the Pacific Northwest like 15 years ago. Opened the Quiznos and it closed immediately. And now you hear less about it than Subway, Jimmy John's, Blimpy's, Jersey Mike's, Fat Sal's out here. You know, you make your own sandwich. There's too many options.
1:08:38 Bill Simmons? Listen, prepare for that.
1:08:40 Speaker 02 They're in trouble, Quiznos.
1:08:41 Bill Simmons? Quiznos.
1:08:42 Speaker 02 Unless they sponsor us. In that case, they'll.
1:08:45 Bill Simmons? Jimmy Jets is taking their lunch.
1:08:47 Speaker 02 Yeah. All right. Go ahead. You go.
1:08:49 Bill Simmons? Jets.
1:08:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:08:53 Bill Simmons? They'll unwind this Rogers thing, but they've spent so much capital and cap picks, everything. Their fans have no faith in anything they do. They don't have a coach. They don't have a GM. They don't have a quarterback. When you're 0 for 3, as I said earlier, that's, that's where you get worried. I don't really know what the solutions are. I guess the good news is they lost today.
1:09:13 Bill Simmons? Those are a pretty easy top four for me. Browns, Giants, Raiders, Jets. But anybody else you would put up there? I thought what was interesting about this exercise was I would have the Panthers in the top three like two months ago. And now.
1:09:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know.
1:09:27 Bill Simmons? You know, I think they might have, might have found a coach and I think they at least have a QB that they know they can bring into the offseason and feel good about. They're gonna have another high draft pick. They've paid the Caleb thing. The Caleb trade turned, the way Caleb played this year, it's, you know, maybe not gonna haunt them in the way we, we could have thought. So I, I dropped them down to number eight.
1:09:48 Speaker 02 Well, let me ask you this. Who would you rather have? So you'd rather have the Panthers franchise than the Jaguars?
1:09:55 Bill Simmons? Yeah, cuz the thinking with the Panthers was they're in such a funky division.
1:10:00 Speaker 02 Uh, that's, that's why I was like comparing it.
1:10:03 Bill Simmons? And the Saints and the Falcons. Like we, you know, all I have to do is, you know, find a couple of good players. I can go to war. Whereas if I'm the Jags. I'm in a vision with Stroud.
1:10:17 Bill Simmons? I don't know. I guess they're it's not that.
1:10:18 Speaker 02 I mean, they have to. They're paying Trevor Lawrence five, two seventy five for five. I think so. That that's gotta be your guy.
1:10:25 Bill Simmons? I had Titans five and Jags six. And the only difference is the Titans definitely don't have a QB. And I don't think they have a coach either or a GM. The Jags. Might have a QB.
1:10:37 Speaker 02 Right.
1:10:37 Bill Simmons? That's, that's, that's it. And I, I do like Brian Thomas. I do like some of the Jags. I do wonder what would happen if you gave them a really good coach next year. So do you think they have some talent? Whereas the Titans, they were awful today.
1:10:50 Speaker 02 You also have to have an owner who's wants to win. Okay, most of them do and is not a fricking idiot. Right? Like, uh, I don't know. We can't put my team up there because it's.
1:11:01 Bill Simmons? I had them ten.
1:11:02 Speaker 02 You did.
1:11:03 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:11:04 Speaker 02 Son of a bitch.
1:11:05 Bill Simmons? I had the Bears ninth and the Cowboys 10th.
1:11:07 Speaker 02 All right.
1:11:09 Bill Simmons? But I, you know, it's a distant 10th compared to Jets, Titans, Jags, four, five, six. Like you're miles away from those teams.
1:11:15 Speaker 02 They're kind of worth a lot, though, if you wanted to sell them.
1:11:18 Bill Simmons? That's, I'm just talking about winning and. Oh, that's the, the Saints I had number seven. That's another one where I don't really know long term what you got there. They're probably the weirdest ownership situation. Combined with the, what's going on with the basketball team, no QB. They, they're in cap hell. Peyton fled them a couple of years ago for. For mysterious reasons. So I think they have to be mentioned as well.
1:11:44 Speaker 02 I think we have to mention the Patriots too. They haven't won their division in years, in years. They haven't won a division. They have an impossible time.
1:11:51 Bill Simmons? Listen, if we didn't have Drake May, we would be in the top five for this combo.
1:11:54 Speaker 02 You got a stadium, no one cares. Nephew Kyle's the only one ballsy enough to wear the jersey.
1:11:59 Bill Simmons? I have the majors, you know. I wore it last week.
1:12:02 Speaker 02 That's true.
1:12:02 Bill Simmons? Want to do guess the lines?
1:12:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, let's do it. I don't think we take any breaks. Do we take breaks?
1:12:08 Bill Simmons? No, we're just flying through.
1:12:09 Speaker 02 I like it. All right.
1:12:11 Bill Simmons? Kyle's gonna put the brakes in.
1:12:13 Speaker 02 Oh.
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1:13:00 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. If you're building an all-star breakfast lineup, you need a few key players. A sausage McMuffin with egg? Sure. Crispy hash browns? Absolutely. A small coffee to wash it all down? No question. And right now, you can get all three for just $5. That's a pretty stacked breakfast roster. Get a sausage McMuffin with egg, plus hash browns, and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Prices may be higher for delivery. Thursday night.
1:13:40 Bill Simmons? Niners Rams in San Francisco.
1:13:44 Bill Simmons? Interesting one. A more exciting game than it was a week ago.
1:13:49 Bill Simmons? If you told me like Friday, how excited are you about Niners Rams next Thursday? I would have been like, eh, four. Now it might be like a seven.
1:13:56 Speaker 02 I like it.
1:13:57 Bill Simmons? Seven and a half.
1:13:58 Speaker 02 Play tough, San Francisco. Play like, give us your B- game at least for this one.
1:14:03 Bill Simmons? What's our record for guest of the lines? What are we right now?
1:14:06 Speaker 02 I won the last couple of weeks. Seven, six, and one. You still have the lead.
1:14:11 Bill Simmons? I have the Niners by three over the Rams.
1:14:14 Speaker 02 Ooh. Yeah, you get this. By the way, you're gonna win this week. I was way off on a lot. I said one, I said one and a half. It's two and a half. So you're getting...
1:14:26 Bill Simmons? Purdy was pretty good today.
1:14:27 Speaker 02 You're putting the Rams on every teaser. I know you are.
1:14:32 Speaker 02 Bengals tomorrow, Rams Thursday. Good. Good job by you.
1:14:37 Bill Simmons? Something I don't trust about the Rams. It's never easy with them.
1:14:43 Bill Simmons? You know, even today, what was that score 35 13 at one point?
1:14:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:14:47 Bill Simmons? Something like that. Just don't never feel comfortable with them and you watch.
1:14:51 Speaker 02 That offense is so many weapons. Yeah, I know it. That's the thing.
1:14:55 Bill Simmons? It feels like they you watch their offense and they seem like they should be the nobody wants to see these guys in the playoffs, but and I feel like people will be fine seeing them. Sunday's marquee game. We had two really good options for this, but I'm going to go with Lions Bills in Detroit. Jared Goff for the puncher's chance to steal the MVP. I don't think he will.
1:15:20 Bill Simmons? Bills don't totally need the game as we mentioned earlier.
1:15:24 Bill Simmons? They're going to be their two seater, three seed Lions kind of need the game because the Vikings won't go away. And and the Eagles won't go away either. So I had the Lions by three and a half.
1:15:35 Speaker 02 We split this. I said one and a half. It is two and a half.
1:15:42 Bill Simmons? You surprised?
1:15:43 Speaker 02 That's fair. Well, I didn't think they were going to make it three. I know it's not a must win for the Bills, but I just don't see them losing back to back a lot. It's a fun one. I'm already fast forwarding to Dan Campbell's written speech. Excited.
1:15:59 Bill Simmons? I wonder it feels like they docked the Lions. At least a point for the defensive injuries.
1:16:07 Bill Simmons? Did you see Hutchinson might come back for a
1:16:09 Speaker 02 I saw.
1:16:09 Bill Simmons? Round three.
1:16:10 Speaker 02 They get far. I know. They weren't bad though against Green Bay. I know it was a lot of points, but they if you hold them less than 300 yards, this was my preseason Super Bowl pick too. So should be fun. By the way, there's seven good games this week.
1:16:23 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:16:26 Bill Simmons? Watchables.
1:16:29 Bill Simmons? I have four. I have eight good games.
1:16:33 Bill Simmons? Texans home for the Dolphins. I put some games in the watchables and the fairly watchables because there's they're they're kind of loser leave town matches for at least one of the teams. Like in this case Texans Dolphins. I don't think the Dolphins can lose again. I'm not even sure they're a playoff team. But um. The Broncos are also playing the Colts. And that's one that normally would be like a fairly watchable, but that's actually a really good game. That's probably a seven seed.
1:17:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:17:00 Bill Simmons? And there's a scenario where Dolphins beat the Texans Colts beat the Broncos and now all of a sudden we have all these scenarios to figure out. So Houston Miami, I have the Texans by three and a half over Miami.
1:17:12 Speaker 02 Oh, do I get this one? I do. I said two. It's two and a half.
1:17:16 Bill Simmons? No, that's too low. That's stupid.
1:17:19 Speaker 02 I have some big, big misses coming up.
1:17:22 Bill Simmons? I might bet Houston straight up in that one. I was not impressed by the Dolphins today.
1:17:27 Speaker 02 No.
1:17:28 Bill Simmons? They just look sloppy and asleep would be my scouting report. Broncos Colts.
1:17:34 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:17:36 Bill Simmons? You know? Broncos have been tough to gauge how the how the bookmakers think of them. So I'm going to play it safe Broncos by three.
1:17:44 Speaker 02 That's what I said. It's five and a half.
1:17:46 Bill Simmons? Yeah. See, that's what I mean. I can't tell if Fando and company like. The Broncos or not because sometimes it seems like they do. And then other times it seems like they don't. Five and a half is rich.
1:18:00 Speaker 02 Well, I know you said Rams Bills was the game of the year, but I don't think we could say enough about Denver, Cleveland last Monday.
1:18:08 Bill Simmons? You're right. That was up there.
1:18:09 Speaker 02 So damn good.
1:18:10 Bill Simmons? Plus that that was at least the gambling moment of the year.
1:18:12 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:18:13 Bill Simmons? Jame is somehow taking the death of the one and then throw in another pick. Eagles Steelers.
1:18:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:18:21 Bill Simmons? In Philly. This was the other candidate for the marquee game. And I think this has to be Eagles by three.
1:18:30 Speaker 02 That's what I said. I can't believe this, actually. Four and a half.
1:18:35 Bill Simmons? Uh, see, this is what I was telling you before, that people don't see the Steelers thing. And I think it's good for us.
1:18:42 Speaker 02 All right. Steelers special. Let's do it. Dump the first half and win the game.
1:18:48 Bill Simmons? The Steelers get no respect. It's bizarre.
1:18:52 Bill Simmons? I mean, Tomlin against Philly in Philly getting like four and a half, five. I guarantee I'd pick that game. Chargers home for the Bucks. And, uh, the Bucks have been Scotch taping it here for a while.
1:19:10 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
1:19:10 Bill Simmons? Chargers look good today. I had this at three this morning when I did this, but I'm gonna bump it a half point. I'm gonna say Chargers by three and a half.
1:19:18 Speaker 02 Oh, shouldn't have bumped. No bump. I said one and a half. It's two and a half. So we split this.
1:19:24 Bill Simmons? God damn it. Why did I touch it?
1:19:26 Speaker 02 Going on.
1:19:29 Bill Simmons? I like the Chargers. I think the Bucks are gonna have a lot of trouble scoring against them.
1:19:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think Baker's gonna be a little jittery. They'll get to him in the pocket. It's a fun one, though. Uh, you know, I, this could be, they'll have more fans, right?
1:19:45 Speaker 02 Chargers, a rare home game with an advantage.
1:19:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah. How many Tampa fans would make the trip from Florida to LA in mid-December?
1:19:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:19:53 Bill Simmons? Fairly watchables. Chiefs.
1:19:59 Bill Simmons? At Cleveland.
1:20:02 Bill Simmons? In a game that by law has to be in the Vegas zone, then I'm gonna say Chiefs by five and a half.
1:20:08 Speaker 02 This makes me, people are gonna think I've never done this before and they might be, I said nine and a half. It's six and a half.
1:20:16 Bill Simmons? Hmm.
1:20:18 Speaker 02 I don't know. I mean,
1:20:21 Speaker 02 I guess. I don't know. I hate them both for various reasons.
1:20:27 Bill Simmons? They just don't know what to make these Chiefs lines anymore.
1:20:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:20:30 Bill Simmons? They have no idea. Washington is at the Saints. I assume no Derek Carr, which means this line has to be at least three and a half. And that's what I'm going to guess. Washington by three and a half.
1:20:41 Speaker 02 So that's what I said. Unless they change this, it's seven. Washington by seven.
1:20:47 Bill Simmons? Oh, so Carr's out. Not a lot of Spencer Rattler fans?
1:20:53 Speaker 02 No, I guess not. I'm trying to figure out why this would be. Washington offer by? Yeah, I don't love it.
1:21:01 Bill Simmons? Last fairly watchable, at least fairly watchable for me. Cardinals at home for the Patriots. Probably the Pats' last chance to win a game.
1:21:11 Bill Simmons? Cardinals playing to stay in the playoff hunt. And I was in Denver on Thursday. Here's how much I love Drake May.
1:21:20 Bill Simmons? The Patriots over under on FanDuel was three and a half. And the under was plus 152.
1:21:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:21:28 Bill Simmons? And I'm like, we're not winning another game this year. Like this is, we're finishing three and 14 unless some crazy Drake May game happens. Plus 152. What a great line. I should bet that. I'm not betting it. I didn't bet it. So I don't want to root against Drake May. I love Drake May. I can't root against him.
1:21:48 Speaker 02 Nephew Kyle was telling me about this too. You guys betting like crazy and he, did he go for under three and a half? He would never.
1:21:55 Bill Simmons? No, we discussed it. We were like, very unlikely win-win again, but not betting against Drake May.
1:22:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:22:03 Speaker 02 This should be close. What do you think?
1:22:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I gotta say, so I'd have Cards by six. What'd you have?
1:22:08 Speaker 02 I said six also. That's six and a half. Might really match him.
1:22:12 Bill Simmons? The Pats, I think the Pats could win this game.
1:22:15 Speaker 02 Why not?
1:22:18 Bill Simmons? Poop factor. Bengals at Titans. I had Bengals by six at Tennessee.
1:22:23 Speaker 02 I swear I had the same thing and it's four and a half.
1:22:27 Speaker 02 They put it in the Vegas.
1:22:31 Bill Simmons? Ravens. So we have a lot. Oh shit. I just realized this. Jesus.
1:22:36 Speaker 02 What's the matter?
1:22:38 Bill Simmons? Just a lot of home underdogs.
1:22:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:22:41 Bill Simmons? So we have Browns, Saints, Titans, Giants, potentially a couple more here and then potentially a Monday nighter. Ravens at Giants. I'm going to say Ravens by 10 and a half and I'm not going to put them in a tease.
1:22:55 Speaker 02 You're going to get this because I said 10. It's 14 and a half.
1:22:59 Bill Simmons? Oh my Lord. That's stupid. Obviously, nobody's watched Lamar and Jim and John Harbaugh against a shitty team in the road.
1:23:07 Speaker 02 They're If a team has given up, they have, what can you say? Right?
1:23:12 Bill Simmons? And the Giants are up 14 to three heading into halftime here in Giants Stadium. Cowboys, Panthers. Had a lot of trouble with this one.
1:23:23 Bill Simmons? I, I gave this the old one and a half. Cowboys by one and a half at Carolina.
1:23:29 Speaker 02 I had even more trouble. I said Cowboys by three. Get ready, Bill. Panthers by one and a half.
1:23:36 Bill Simmons? Oh.
1:23:38 Speaker 02 That is a low point for the franchise. Maybe the Cowboys are the worst franchise. Maybe, maybe that puts us, maybe we have to re-rank these franchise.
1:23:46 Bill Simmons? Oh my God.
1:23:49 Bill Simmons? Wow.
1:23:50 Speaker 02 I'm staring at it and it's not changing. The Panthers are favored against the Cowboys.
1:23:55 Bill Simmons? If I had told you six weeks ago that in week 15, the Panthers are going to be favored by a point and a half over the Cowboys, would you have assumed there was like a bus accident?
1:24:05 Speaker 02 If you told me six minutes ago, I wouldn't believe it. I still don't believe what, what's going on here. Now I guess it's.
1:24:11 Bill Simmons? Wow. The Panthers have been good. This is what we talked about earlier. They've been good for, I mean, a good, bad team, not good, good, but.
1:24:17 Speaker 02 I know.
1:24:18 Bill Simmons? They hang around in these games.
1:24:20 Speaker 02 I'd rather have their quarterback. I'd rather have their running back. I'd rather have one of their receiver. Yeah, you're right. The defensive tackle. Uh, this, I guess it makes sense. It's just very depressing.
1:24:31 Bill Simmons? Jets are at Jacksonville. Speaking of depressing, I don't know if it gets more depressing than this. This is the Aaron Rodgers, Mac Jones game.
1:24:39 Bill Simmons? Nobody wanted. And I have the Jets favored by one and a half.
1:24:44 Speaker 02 All right. I got this exactly. It's three.
1:24:49 Speaker 02 They still like the Jets, the oddsmakers. They do.
1:24:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:24:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, they still do.
1:24:53 Bill Simmons? Did they end up covering today or because it was six and a half and it dropped to five and a half? It was and then they lost by six.
1:24:59 Speaker 02 During the week it was five and a half and I'd kickoff it was six and a half, but you can't can't win by six and a half in overtime.
1:25:07 Bill Simmons? Sunday night.
1:25:09 Speaker 02 You're up 11-9. So if you win one of these, I think you're in good shape.
1:25:14 Bill Simmons? I'm hitting this one. Seahawks Packers in Seattle. A very good one. Always a problem with the uniforms. Always confusing.
1:25:21 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:25:23 Bill Simmons? Some good history with these two teams.
1:25:27 Bill Simmons? I'm going to say Seahawks by one and a half.
1:25:29 Speaker 02 Oh, no, no, no. I said Green Bay by one. It is Green Bay by two and a half.
1:25:34 Bill Simmons? Oh, man.
1:25:36 Speaker 02 Let's go.
1:25:39 Bill Simmons? That's a big mistake.
1:25:42 Speaker 02 Well, this could be good because I picked one. There's two Monday night games and I picked one of them exactly.
1:25:48 Bill Simmons? Packers, two and a half?
1:25:52 Bill Simmons? Wow.
1:25:52 Speaker 02 You're looking at a teaser. I know you are.
1:25:55 Bill Simmons? Did anyone watch the Seahawks last couple of weeks?
1:26:00 Speaker 02 I guess they'll have the rest advantage, right? Green Bay. Jordan Love in Seattle.
1:26:05 Bill Simmons? Two Monday night games.
1:26:07 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:26:08 Bill Simmons? And I wish they were better.
1:26:11 Speaker 02 You know, I don't care. I just, as long as there's seven early afternoon now. I mean, because it would have been eight if there was one of, right? So it's fine. It's fine.
1:26:19 Bill Simmons? Vikings home for the Bears.
1:26:23 Bill Simmons? And I don't see how this is less than seven and a half. So I'm going to say Vikings by seven and a half.
1:26:28 Speaker 02 Woo, I said seven. It is seven.
1:26:33 Bill Simmons? Jesus. So I'm up one on you right now?
1:26:36 Speaker 02 You're up one. You're up one and wait, one, two, three.
1:26:43 Speaker 02 11, two.
1:26:45 Speaker 02 No, it's 11-11. I was off by a point and a half in this. You should be able to maybe get it. Desmond Ritter against his whole team.
1:26:56 Bill Simmons? What a game. Uh, Atlanta at Vegas. I'm gonna say, uh, Atlanta by three and a half.
1:27:02 Speaker 02 Oh, I pulled it out. Four. It's five and a half.
1:27:06 Bill Simmons? Oh, my God.
1:27:07 Speaker 02 What a win. What a day.
1:27:09 Bill Simmons? Comeback by you.
1:27:10 Speaker 02 Soto. This is great.
1:27:11 Bill Simmons? You get Juan Soto? You tied me in Guess the Lines?
1:27:13 Speaker 02 Woo hoo. I'm a little less depressed at the Cowboys than around the dogs to the Panthers.
1:27:20 Bill Simmons? Unbelievable.
1:27:22 Bill Simmons? All right, let's see parent corner. What do you got?
1:27:24 Speaker 02 Let's do it. Uh, what do I have? All right. Uh, a couple of things. First of all, my youngest, my 10 year old is in this travel baseball team and he got five hits this weekend. And he's batting like 360 and he's available Mets. I know you don't have any money left, but he is available. So he wants to hit 400 in the worst way. And I asked him if he'd rather get all As in school and hit 300 or all Cs and hit 400.
1:27:50 Speaker 02 And he gave the right answer. He said he'd rather get all Cs and hit 400. And I made sure his mother wasn't looking at her. I high fived him. So anyway, I'm a good father, but the, the big one I want to talk about is the Spotify rap.
1:28:03 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:28:04 Speaker 02 And how much of a loser I feel like because I'm embarrassed to say, even though this is what I like. Kenny Loggins, Billy Joel, Huey Lewis and the News, Chicago and Hall and Oates.
1:28:17 Bill Simmons? Those are my top five.
1:28:19 Speaker 02 Some of those bands are too old for even you to make a documentary about. So I I mean, I've heard you so many times.
1:28:26 Bill Simmons? Texter about the yacht rock doc?
1:28:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, absolutely.
1:28:28 Bill Simmons? So you're just old.
1:28:30 Speaker 02 I'm just old and it's sad, but then it said like July was my psychedelic beach goth moment. I was like, oh, wow. And I was big into the Growlers, the Dead Ghosts and the Pesos. I was like, this is terrific. I don't even remember listening to those. It's my kids. It's my son. It's my college kid who shares it with Spotify. And he puts me in a different realm, but it makes me feel bad. Like, wow, those sound like cool bands. I couldn't name one song by any of them, but
1:28:58 Bill Simmons? The Growlers.
1:28:59 Speaker 02 I don't think the Spotify rap, even though the, the sun comes in for the save, which is like some, uh, I assume hipster music. I don't know. I don't know about the Spotify rap. If an app tells you that how many times you get up in the middle of the night to pee. It's like, uh, that's, I don't want that getting out. So thanks for trying to save me, kid, but I'm old and dying.
1:29:21 Bill Simmons? The Growlers.
1:29:22 Speaker 02 The Growlers.
1:29:25 Bill Simmons? My daughter asked if she could Instacart some stuff in college. And I said, yes. And I just wanted to redo the order as my parent corner.
1:29:33 Speaker 02 I'll do it.
1:29:35 Bill Simmons? Almond Breeze Unsweetened. Almond Breeze Unsweetened Original Almond Milk Non Dairy Milk Alternative. Hood Instant Whip Light Cream. Ready Whip Orange Original Dairy Whip Topping. These are the first four things she got. Giradelli Hot Cocoa with Chocolate Chips. Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Cake Cup Pods. Pillsbury Eat or Bake Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Toll House Chocolate Chip Lovers Cookie Dough with Chocolate Chips and Chocolate Chunks.
1:30:06 Bill Simmons? Peanut Butter 90% Less Fat Powder Original. That was my favorite. Less fat after all these other orders. Archer Farms Women's Plaid Flannel Holiday Matching Family Pyjama Set Small. Archer Farms Women's Plaid Flannel Holiday Matching Family Pyjama Set Large. Strawberries, Jet Puff Mini Marshmallows and Skinny Pop Microwave Popcorn with Sea Salt.
1:30:33 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:30:33 Bill Simmons? That was the Instagram order. And apparently she was at my dad's house and they decided to make cookies and drink hot chocolate.
1:30:42 Speaker 02 Oh, good.
1:30:43 Bill Simmons? And she wanted to wear all this stuff. But I got the order and I'm like, are you in college or you're in like second grade? What, what's happening? Remember in college, like you used to go to college and you were just on your own and you had like, somebody had like a toaster oven? And now you can just order whatever the fuck you want and it comes.
1:31:01 Speaker 02 That was it. Yeah. You had a crock pot or something.
1:31:05 Bill Simmons? Having hot chocolate, when we were in college, it would have been like a miracle. It'd be like, you have hot chocolate? Yeah. It sounds amazing. Do you have like a crock pot? You could make it? Now it's just, I don't know. The whole thing of being in college, I just feels like it's like in this delivery era. They're like, oh, I want pizza. Oh, our pizza place closed. Oh, shit. I guess we can't have pizza now. It's like, ah, just order a pizza.
1:31:26 Speaker 02 So easy. Yeah, you're right.
1:31:28 Bill Simmons? Does college make it too easy on our kids?
1:31:31 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah.
1:31:32 Bill Simmons? Like, or just like 2024, it's too easy to be a kid in college compared to the way it used to be like, he used to like get sent off and that was it, man. You had to like sink or swim. You're on your own.
1:31:43 Speaker 02 Fend for yourself. Right, right, right. I don't know if I blame college, but she'd be doing this at home too, right? If you were more.
1:31:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah, she definitely would have done that.
1:31:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like it. Well, you see her every couple of weeks, but it'd be funny if she came back like for Christmas break, 225 pounds.
1:31:57 Bill Simmons? Red foil.
1:31:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:32:01 Bill Simmons? But that's the thing. She'll, she'll take like two bites of all this stuff because we call her, we call her the maggot. Is her nickname in our house because she'll like, there'll be a piece of pizza on the counter and she'll just take like, just enough of the cheese to ruin the piece, but not eat the pizza. So I was like, oh, the maggot got it.
1:32:19 Speaker 02 Isn't that what Sergeant Slaughter would call his opponents? A maggot? You should get a Sergeant, you should get a Sergeant Slaughter.
1:32:25 Bill Simmons? You know, maggots just like eat away at the, at the, we call Ben the raccoon. Cause when Ben, when Ben gets into the kitchen, it's a lot different. There's a lot of leg damage, stuff like that. Did you watch UFC last night?
1:32:39 Speaker 02 I did, I did. It was great. Really good.
1:32:42 Bill Simmons? It's actually a better card than I thought. Couple of weird decisions, but uh.
1:32:46 Speaker 02 I had a opposite of you. You had gone, right? I had vocal, yeah, that was, that was, I don't know if he won any round.
1:32:54 Bill Simmons? No, I, I, I was, uh, I wrote the bet off. I thought, I thought.
1:32:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:32:58 Bill Simmons? He lost all three rounds.
1:33:00 Speaker 02 What did he do? Why do they have a Gracie in there? Just because of the name? And is that the best Gracie they could have? Because he seemed content to fight from his back. He just getting half guard before he was thrown down.
1:33:11 Bill Simmons? He was like 36.
1:33:13 Speaker 02 He's 36.
1:33:14 Bill Simmons? Rogan made a big case for him when he came in as a Gracie. You know, he, we talked to him. He said he's feeling great. And, uh, and he just got completely annihilated, but.
1:33:23 Speaker 02 There's gotta be a better Gracie is what I'm thinking. I don't know.
1:33:26 Bill Simmons? The LA card's gonna be unbelievable.
1:33:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's fun. Is that in February?
1:33:31 Bill Simmons? No, it's, uh, January 18th.
1:33:32 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
1:33:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah. All right. That's it for parent corner. Anything else we got?
1:33:37 Speaker 02 Uh, that's it.
1:33:38 Bill Simmons? What, what number is Juan Soto gonna wear?
1:33:41 Speaker 02 Hmm. I don't know. It'd be funny if he had to pay someone like three and a half million dollars for it. I'm not sure.
1:33:49 Speaker 02 Not sure what is he gonna do? Whatever frigging number he wants. He could wear an ampersand.
1:33:53 Bill Simmons? We should mention on the, on the Ringer Sunday pregame show, you are now 12 and 2 on your best bets.
1:33:58 Speaker 02 That's pretty good, right? Like I brag and I'm an asshole on that show for sure. And I asked these guys if they wanted to concede. But uh, yeah, it's right there in the beginning of the show. We give our best bets. We'll give them bets the whole hour and a half. It's a lot of fun.
1:34:12 Bill Simmons? We're having a pretty good year. Just in general. I think our futures, they're good. Million Dollar Picks is doing good. The Ringer Sunday pregame's doing pretty good. Everybody's house has been hitting some, some, uh, some underdogs.
1:34:23 Speaker 02 Underdogs. House heats up with the underdogs in December. So.
1:34:27 Bill Simmons? Who did he have today? He had Jacksonville?
1:34:29 Speaker 02 Jaguars. Yeah. He made a case that said the Titans numbers were fraudulent. Their defensive numbers and uh, defensive play, okay. But yeah, we have Cousins' house winning weekend on Friday against all odds. By the way, you want winners, 7-1 with our last eight basketball bets. Better than anyone else on the Ringer, actually. It's quite sad. No one can compete. But um, yeah. And then, what else? Uh, through the Ringer with Tate Frazier. I want to thank our friend Kurt Schwarzkopf, the general.
1:34:56 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:34:57 Speaker 02 Hooked me up at the Intuit Dome.
1:34:59 Bill Simmons? What did he do?
1:35:00 Speaker 02 Lots of fun.
1:35:01 Bill Simmons? What'd you, what'd you say?
1:35:03 Speaker 02 I got tickets. I saw the Clippers and the Trail Blazers. I bet the Clippers that night. I know you gave your uh, review of the place. I mean, I feel like I was buying a condo trying to get into the app and face scanning and all that shit. But once you're in.
1:35:16 Bill Simmons? Once you're in, you're in. Yeah. It's fun. They make it really hard.
1:35:18 Speaker 02 Games for the kids at the seats and everything. Balmer did a nice job on the, on the cheap.
1:35:24 Bill Simmons? Wait, before we go, Seahawks minus 135, Rams plus 160.
1:35:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:35:31 Bill Simmons? Tampa's minus 230, Atlanta's plus 185. Pittsburgh's minus 210, Baltimore's plus 175.
1:35:39 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:35:40 Bill Simmons? They're just dying to get you to try to put Baltimore money down. Look at that Steelers schedule and there's a whole path, but I think this Steelers is gonna do it. Anyway. All right. Cuz, as always, good job by you.
1:35:52 Speaker 02 Good job by you, buddy.
1:35:53 Bill Simmons? Thanks to Kyle Crichton. Thanks to Steve Seruti. Thanks to Gahow. And uh, and you can watch this on Spotify. You might not have even realized that as you were listening to it, but you can watch it on the YouTube channel as well. I'm gonna be back with the rewatchables on Monday night for the Michael Douglas movie.
1:36:09 Speaker 02 Oh, which one?
1:36:10 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:36:11 Speaker 02 Falling Down?
1:36:12 Bill Simmons? Nah, I'm not gonna say. It's a Michael Douglas movie. That's, that's the only hint. And then, uh, back on this podcast on Tuesday. Great to see you, Sal.
1:36:18 Speaker 02 See you, buddy.
1:36:43 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell. I like those guys. Star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh. Writer-director of The Banshees of Inisherin and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys. Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss Wild Horse 9. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now.
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