Struggling To Keep Going? How to Recover From Burnout Symptoms | Ed Mylett

In this powerful Saturday Mashup, we tackle one of the most common struggles—burnout. This episode brings together an incredible lineup of guests, including Sebastian Maniscalco, Rob Dyrdek, Alan Stein Jr., Inky Johnson, and more. Together, we dive deep into the symptoms of burnout and share strategies on how to recover, rebuild, and push forward when you feel like giving up. From Rob Dyrdek’s insights on finding harmony in life and business, to Inky Johnson’s message on learning from both good and bad examples, and Alan Stein Jr.'s emphasis on loving what the basics produce, this episode is packed with practical advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed or on the brink of exhaustion. You’ll hear me talk about the importance of keeping promises to yourself and how each time you follow through, you build a reputation with yourself that fuels your confidence. We cover it all—from scheduling rest to finding a balance between pushing hard and recuperating. Whether you're at the top of your game or struggling to stay motivated, this episode will inspire you to regain control and get back on track. Key Takeaways: - Why it’s critical to love what the basics produce in your life and career. - How breaking promises to yourself erodes your confidence and self-worth. - The importance of balancing rest with pushing through tough times. - Rob Dyrdek’s formula for creating harmony in life while still achieving massive success. - How to find a way to win even when the odds feel stacked against you. Tune in, and take away the tools you need to get through burnout and come out stronger! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better. So, hey, guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. And the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start.

• 1:30Ed Mylett?

  He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. The third-generation Range Rover Sport is the most desirable, advanced, and dynamically capable yet. Range Rover Sport redefines sporting luxury. With an instinctive drive and engaging on-road dynamics and effortless composure,

• 2:14Ed Mylett?

  advanced cabin technology such as active noise cancellation and cabin air purification offer new levels of comfort and refinement. A purposeful cockpit-like driving position sets the tone for a focused interior that promotes exhilarating driver engagement. The award-winning Pivi Pro Infotainment is at the heart of the experience and provides intuitive control of all vehicle systems. Range Rover Sport. Design your Range Rover Sport at LandRoverUSA.com.

• 2:46Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 2:51Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. The question was, Ed, I'm listening to one of the people that I watch on social media on a regular basis, and this influencer woke up that morning and said that they just did not want to get out of bed that day, and they wanted to pull the covers over their head. And so they did. And they canceled the entire day, and they basically told us that some days you just don't have it. You should give in, pull the covers back over your head. That's your body talking to you. And cool it. Do you agree? No, I don't agree. That doesn't mean I don't think you should rest. I think you should rest. I think you should schedule your rest.

• 3:35Ed Mylett?

  I have a weakness where I over-schedule. And that's a huge mistake because I just have an inability to say no to people, and I want to help so many people. But I over-schedule myself to the point where many days I wake up and I'm going, I just don't want to do this. So I really relate to the thought. I think the solution is to schedule your rest. You do need to recuperate. You do need to re-energize, recalibrate, reassess, re-audit your life, and just fill your tank back up. So those are things that you need to do proactively. And obviously, don't over-schedule. And don't take a page out of my book. Get a better ability to say no. You know, a lot of times when I cover things with you on the show, these are things that I'm struggling with myself or have struggled with in the past, and I'm working through them.

• 4:17Ed Mylett?

  Or I can tell you how I worked through it and I became, you know, I overcame the ailment or the proclivity to do the wrong thing. And I wake up a lot of mornings, quite frankly, even to this day where I want to pull those covers back over my head and cancel my day. But I don't. And let me tell you why I don't. Because every time you do that, you kill a part of yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you're eroding your confidence. You're eroding your spirit. Remember this, I know I've said this before, but self-confidence is the process of keeping the promises you make to you. You know, you're always building a reputation with yourself. Are you somebody you can trust? That does the things he or she says they're gonna do? Or are you somebody, just when they don't feel like it, willy-nilly pull the covers back over your head and pack it in for a day? I do not recommend you do that.

• 5:02Ed Mylett?

  You are losing part of yourself every single time you do this. Remember this. The longer you stay somewhere that you know you don't belong, whether that's in bed all day long, or in a relationship you don't belong in, or in a job you don't belong in, or in anything you don't belong in. The longer you stay somewhere that you know you don't belong, the more you begin to believe you don't belong anywhere.

• 5:26Ed Mylett?

  You don't belong anywhere. That's a dangerous place to take yourself. Secondly, when you break promises to yourself, you erode that internal self-confidence that's so requisite in becoming happy and successful. So no, don't pull the covers back over your head. I do not agree with that advice. I'm, I'm sure whoever this person is, or these people are that are dispensing this advice are well-intended people, but they're just wrong about that. You should schedule your rest. You should not over-schedule like dummy I do all the time. But you should definitely keep the promises you make to yourself. Let me ask you a question. I want you to think about this very clearly just for a second. What if you committed to pick your children up from school? You probably do, many of you that have children. You said, "I'll see you at 3 o'clock."

• 6:09Ed Mylett?

  And then just at some point during the day, you're just like, "I don't have it. I don't want to do it. No way." Would you pull the covers back over your head and not pick your kids up? Of course not. Why? Because you love them so deeply. Maybe it's your parents. What if you had committed to take your mom or your dad to a doctor's appointment that was very important to them? And then as it got closer that day, you go, nah, I just don't feel it. I gotta rest. I'm gonna pull the covers back over my head. Would you ever do that to them? Would you do that to your child? Would you do that to your parents? Of course you wouldn't. Why? Because you love them. So the only reason you would do it to you. The real... See, the symptom is, I wanna pull the covers back over my head. The disease is, I don't love myself enough to treat myself with the respect

• 6:53Ed Mylett?

  and the love and the care that I would my children or my parents. That's the truth. That intention, that proclivity, that notion of giving in and breaking that promise with yourself. The root of it, that's the symptom. The symptom is fatigue. It's being down. It's being tired. It's not one to do your day. The disease is you don't love yourself enough to keep the promises you make to yourself. You would never do that to somebody you love. So don't do it to you. You gotta love yourself enough to say, nope, I'm gonna change my thinking. Let me tell you what I think when I have those mornings and for the record, I have them often. I have them more than I should at this stage in my life. I have too many mornings where I wake up and I go, oh my gosh, I don't wanna do this today. Maybe I can cancel a few of the meetings. Right?

• 7:39Ed Mylett?

  Maybe I'll cancel all of them. Yeah, maybe I'll just pull these covers back over and try again tomorrow. That's not who I am. And when those things come up, let me tell you what I do when I get to that point. Here's what I say to myself. This is where most people give in. This is where most people quit. This is where most people settle. This is where most people rationalize. And I don't do that. This is where most people roll over. And I'm not most people. This is literally Ed, where winning begins and losing ends. Or is this where losing begins, Ed Mylett? And winning ends. And winning's not gonna end. And losing's not gonna begin. And one of these little tiny decisions to give in, we know in our spirit and our heart,

• 8:22Ed Mylett?

  we've started to hurt our self-confidence. Self-confidence is a process of keeping the promises we make to ourselves. It's a reputation with ourself that we can trust us when we give ourselves our word, like we would to pick our kids up from school or take our parents to a doctor's appointment. When we commit to us, it's not the meetings that you have that day that you've committed to them. That's not who you're canceling on. You're canceling on you. You committed to you that you would do that appointment. You committed to you that you would get up at a certain time. You committed to you, you'd drink a certain amount of water. You committed to you, you'd make a certain amount of contacts. You committed to you, you'd do something in a given day. Don't break those commitments you make to yourself. Keep the promises that you make to yourself because every time you do that, part of your spirit, part of you, part of who you're capable of becoming dies with that decision out of weakness.

• 9:07Ed Mylett?

  Decide out of strength. And here's what you're gonna find out. Once you get moving, once you get up, once you get in the flow, God sends you the energy you need. You're not gonna die from overwork. You're not gonna. But what you do need to do, this is an indication, maybe you need to get smarter about how you schedule your time. Maybe you need to get smarter about what I don't do well, which is saying no to people. You've got to keep these promises you make to yourself and you've got to make it a game. Listen to me. You beat ninety percent of the people in your life by doing two things. Showing up, giving it everything you've got, being a good person. Let me say it again. You gotta show up and that's not enough. You gotta do the second thing. The second thing is, you gotta give it everything you've got and you gotta conduct yourself as a good human being.

• 9:52Ed Mylett?

  When you do that, you beat ninety plus percent of the people. That last ten percent, that's a dogfight between the best of the best. And we'll see who's got what it takes. But you have this consistent process of your life of I show up when I say I'm gonna, when I get there, I give it everything I've got and I act in an ethical, moral fashion. I'm a good person. My intentions are good. You'd be ninety percent of the world. Believe it or not, I tell my kids this all the time. I told my daughter this yesterday. I said, "Belaboo," we're sitting out in the backyard, talking about life and what college and what she's gonna do after. And I said, "You just remember this. The older you get, the more you watch how human beings behave. You're gonna find out winning is not nearly as difficult as you think because most people can't even keep the commitments they make to themselves." Most people think showing up is all the battle.

• 10:37Ed Mylett?

  Showing up is half the battle. Showing up is not half the battle. Showing up gets you in the door. But then you got to give it everything you've got on a consistent basis. And that has to be your habit, your ritual, your identity is to get everything you got. I'm to the point now where if I were to pull those covers back over my head, I have violated everything I believe to be true about myself. I violated my love for myself, my belief in myself. And I'm not willing to do that to me, not the other people. By the way, I would never do that to another human being either. But I'm certainly not going to do it to me. Cause every time you give into there a little bit, you crack open the door for it to get a little bigger and a little bigger and a little bigger. And before you know it, you're walking through that door all the time. So I would say that that is terrible advice.

• 11:19Ed Mylett?

  With all due respect to people, by the way, I actually think people that have never done anything outside of social media could probably still help people. I really do believe that. I think everybody can have something to give and something to offer. But you have to be very careful giving in to the weaker side of you. Giving in to really the devil in you instead of your higher angels, your higher calling. And there's going to be lots of days, listen, if you're going to win, there's going to be lots of days where you just don't want to do it. And that's where winning begins and losing ends. Or if you give in, like I said, it's where losing begins. And it's insidious. And some people, by the way, have done pretty well for a number of years. And they get to a point and they go, no, I'm entitled now based on what I've accomplished, based on what I've been through, based on my story.

• 12:04Ed Mylett?

  I'm entitled now to cool it if I want to. You absolutely can, but that better be committed to everybody else. You better not be telling yourself and other people that you still want to climb the ladder. You still want to win, you still want to contribute. You can't do both. There's nothing wrong, by the way, at any point in your life and just going, that was enough. If it truly was enough, if you truly don't want more, if it's truly everything you need in terms of your emotions, your growth, your wellbeing, your wealth, whatever it is, your body. Great. But if there's an incongruency between what you say you want and what you're doing and how you're behaving, that's a real problem. Every time you're doing something like that, you're either making a deposit

• 12:44Ed Mylett?

  towards your success, your peace, your wellbeing, or you're making a withdrawal. And the minute you allow yourself to make withdrawals prematurely. Eventually that account becomes overdrawn. And it's very difficult to get out of it and you have to start all over again. So why would you do this to yourself? You'd only do it if you didn't love yourself enough. So it's a, it's an act of love to keep your commitments. It's an act of caring for yourself. It's an act of nurturing yourself. And so I want you to look at that for a second. Why would I do that? I wouldn't do that to anybody else. Why would I do this to me? You would only do this to you if the truth is you don't love yourself. And oftentimes we can't love ourselves if we're not being ourselves.

• 13:30Ed Mylett?

  We have to be ourselves and to be ourselves, we have to conduct ourselves and make the decisions in our life and take the actions that are consistent and congruent with who we say we are and where we're going. Now, I gotta say this to you. I think it's paramount in your life that you give yourself a break if you've made these mistakes. I am not here to tell you that I have never done that before. I don't know that I've ever pulled the covers over my head for a whole day, but I've certainly pulled them back over my head longer than I should have. And one of the things I have struggled with all my life that many of you probably struggle with is, I'm my own worst critic. I'm my own worst critic. And I was talking to a young man the other day who's struggling in his life and he's in therapy and just had some thoughts that really were pretty dark.

• 14:16Ed Mylett?

  And one of the things that, this is real subtle, but I want you to hear me on this last. One of the things of always analyzing yourself, there's a danger to that. People that are in therapy or that consume a lot of personal development content. It's healthy to wanna grow and to wanna get better. But there's a flawed thinking for many people that are in therapy or consume self-help or personal development or entrepreneur or wealth content. And here's the premise. I'm screwed up. I need to get fixed. I messed up. What are the things I need to do so I'm not messed up anymore? And when you're a, when you do a lot of therapy, or you consume a lot of personal development content, you can almost become too self-aware, too self-reflective, as opposed to just being

• 15:00Ed Mylett?

  and taking action. It's healthy to be self-aware, it's healthy to audit yourself. But there's a point like everything where too much of it becomes unhealthy. And when you're constantly in reflection, you're constantly evaluating yourself. You know, you do something like, well, that's just my pattern, that's just who I am, that's where I'm screwed up, that's what I'm trying to overcome. I better go to another event, another seminar, another this. And you really have built this premise that you are flawed, that you are screwed up, and that you need to fix you. But what if that's not true? What if that belief in it of itself that you've been convinced of is your very issue? That the very flawed thinking that somehow you're screwed up and a mess and need fixing

• 15:42Ed Mylett?

  all the time, and you're always evaluating the mistakes you make, to the point where you repeat them, or evaluating why you do things, or why you don't things, do things, or beat yourself up all the time? What if that's the real problem? And what if the truth is, you're pretty damn amazing already? You're pretty awesome already, but you want to get better. You want to grow. See, at some point, when I was, you know, raised by an alcoholic dad and trying to turn my life around, I was always like, well, that's why I don't do things, or, you know, that's what I got to fix about me, and I'm the one who always quits, I'm the one who always starts and stops, I'm the one who gets too upset, I'm the one who worries too much, I'm the one who lacks confidence, I'm screwed up, I'm just, I'm in personal development because I need to fix me. You don't need to fix you, you're pretty damn amazing as you are, you're just trying

• 16:27Ed Mylett?

  to grow and get better. Very few of you need massive fixing. And it's this flawed belief that you're all screwed up. Because let me say something to you, if you're screwed up, we're all screwed up. The rest of us are just better at pretending we've got it figured out. You want to know the truth? You want to know the real truth? I've had the top people in the world on my show. I've been blessed to coach some of the top athletes, entertainers, business people, politicians on the planet. Some might even say I'm one of them. And let me tell you something, we're all just trying to get better and grow. We're all faking it a little bit. We're all acting like we got it together more than we do. We're all acting like we got more answers than questions.

• 17:11Ed Mylett?

  The difference is, the majority of the people that you see succeeding, that you see growing, don't spend too much time in analysis of themselves, analysis paralysis. The vast majority of the people that are succeeding have the same issues you do, but there's a subtle difference they have inside, which is that, I love me, I'm pretty amazing, but I wanna grow, I wanna contribute, I wanna get better, I wanna improve. That's different than, I don't like me, I don't believe in me, I'm screwed up, I need to fix things in me. Boy, oh boy, that's hard to overcome. And let me tell you what's likely to happen. You'll spend your entire life trying to fix yourself, entire life in analysis,

• 17:55Ed Mylett?

  entire life coming from a place of lack, of almost self disrespect, self loathing, as opposed to self belief and self love. The premise is you must start with self love and belief, and then do things that reinforce that love and belief by the way you behave. It's not good enough to go, I love myself, pull the covers over your head. All you gotta do is love yourself. That's the other thing you hear on stuff. Yeah, just self love, man, enough self love. No, no, no, you gotta act in accordance and treat yourself with love, with respect. If you were in a relationship with another person, it's not enough to say, I love you, and then treat them in an unloving, disrespectful way. Both need to be required. You have to love them and believe in them, and then treat them with love and belief and caring and respect.

• 18:40Ed Mylett?

  So it's not enough just to love yourself. You have to love yourself and then be willing to treat yourself with the way you act, the way you decide, the way you think, with love and respect and admiration for you. But too many of you that are in the personal development consumption space, think you're screwed up.

• 18:58Ed Mylett?

  If you are, we all are. You think there's human beings that don't wake up today and don't want to do their day? That aren't sad, that aren't down, that don't feel lost, that don't feel invisible, that don't feel valued? You don't think people like me are very aware of what their weaknesses are, their mistakes? Of course I am. I wish I wasn't so darn aware. But because I'm in this space, because I've done a lot of work on myself. Here's the truth. If you asked me to make a list right now of 20 things that are pretty amazing about me, it would take me a while. But I can make you a list of a couple hundred about things I don't like. Right now, this is at 52 years old, the blessings of a lot of, you know, great things in my life.

• 19:43Ed Mylett?

  But the truth of the matter is, underneath that though, there's this belief that I'm pretty cool. I'm all right. And I'm gonna grow and get better. I'm committed the rest of my life to the expansion of my being. I'm committed to the expansion of who I am as a spirit and a soul and a man. I want to give, I want to contribute, I want to love. I want to improve my life and improve other people's lives. I want more peace in my life and the lives of other people. I want human beings to treat each other more kindly. A little bit more gently, a little bit more love, a little bit more candor, like what I'm doing with you right now. As a friend, I can tell you, more than likely, you aren't that screwed up. Not that much more than the rest of us.

• 20:25Ed Mylett?

  But because you think you are, you will spend your entire life trying to move away from who you are. As opposed to move towards who you're capable of becoming. I want to recommend to you that you stop that. And guess what? You won't want to pull those covers over your head anymore. You won't, because you're moving towards who you're capable of becoming. You're expanding your being. You're not where you want to be, but you're heading there. And that's where self-love begins. If you have this premise that I messed up, I'm screwed up, I'm so bad that I've got to fix me, you'll spend your entire life fixing these other things because ships don't sink because of the water that gets around them. Ships sink because of the water that

• 21:08Ed Mylett?

  gets in them. This is an internal game. It's an internal game. You gotta keep the water off the inside of your ship and believe that you're worthy of sailing to something great in your life and that you deserve it. And once you change that slight premise right there, that little premise, your whole world's gonna change. And so, no, don't pull the covers over your head. Take them off, roll out of the bed, hit the floor if you have to, get moving, get up and take some type of action. And when you begin to take that action towards growing to the new you, towards keeping the commitments, towards treating yourself with love and respect by keeping what you said you were gonna do in your daily schedule and doing the things you've said,

• 21:49Ed Mylett?

  you will find more and more days where you can't wait to get up as opposed to have to pull yourself out of that bed. I have a really good friend here today. I love my conversations with him. He's one of my favorite people I've ever met in my life to talk with. I thought today I'd just let you sit in on one with us. We're gonna talk today with the great Rob Dierdick. Welcome to the show, brother. Hey, thank you for having me. One of the things in addition to all of this that we talked about when we were down in Mexico was this notion of momentum. Here's what I do. I'm gonna tell you what I do. I go, I got all that and I'm gonna get to it. But right now I got momentum. And so I'm gonna flow, throw fuel on the fire. And I think this is what burnout is. So I've got momentum. I mean, you've had momentum

• 22:31Ed Mylett?

  in your career for fricking 25 years, maybe more, right? So, and by the way, that's another lesson from Rob. He said sustainability and consistency in the public world or in the entrepreneurial space, it is extremely rare to have duration of success or expansion of success like which you've had. And I was telling you, maybe we were both talking about, I'm like, yeah, but I got momentum. Yeah, but I got this. Yeah, but I got that. Yeah, but so I'm gonna get to this. But that'll be like, I see it and you're right. And I'm gonna do some of it. But what I'm realizing is that momentum was generated from a space of creativity, of rest, of a particular vibrational frequency.

• 23:14Ed Mylett?

  And I'm almost running on the fumes of it now, rather than, and it, so it will run out if I don't get back to this creative state where I'm in that presence, problem solving or present creativity state. So what would you say to someone who's listening, going, I got all that, but I'm finally got my business moving. I'm finally, we're scaling, we're finally getting this and the economy's changing and I got these other things coming. And so, man, for me to think about this theoretical stuff you're talking about is really good. But man, you know, like, supply chain's going on, interest rates are going up, um, you know, unemployment may start to get higher again, their national debt and I just getting it going. So this is really good and I'm going to remember this podcast for three years from now. What would you say to them?

• 23:59Rob Dyrdek?

  It'll always be like that. It's never not going to be like that. It was the startup version when it was a startup. Oh, now it's working and there's more to even worry about. Oh, now it's like, and it's even, guess what? It's always like that. So if you don't build a harmonious system, your goal is to lead with harmony. If you don't build harmony in your system from the very beginning, you won't have harmony when you find the success, right? And, and this is why I preach designing life and business at the same time. So when you find success in your business, you find success in your life. And, and to me, in 2016, when I designed the plan for the way that I wanted to live,

• 24:44Rob Dyrdek?

  I designed a balanced life that would make me healthy first, and then I fit work into it. I created hundreds of millions of dollars with using a small percentage of my time, living a fully balanced, harmonious life. All of the success that I have created since we sat down in 2018 was done from this beautiful, peaceful place. I got better and better and better. At being more efficient with my time and my energy and got healthier and healthier and my output got higher and higher and higher. And like all of the things that you can worry about that drive you down.

• 25:27Rob Dyrdek?

  You you continue to clear them out to where you're only dealing with incoming stress rather than all these things that come in and then break you. Right? Then you gotta reevaluate all this stuff and do all this stuff again, but you know, that's that's my passion for. You know, harmony over hustle. You know what I mean? Like you, you know, build a harmonious existence and then get better and better at living in a harmonious way. But I want to say this to momentum, right? Is why it was so profound when we were in Mexico because I I'm. You know, it's this, it's the pursuit, right? Like I look at you as like, this is the ideal way of life, man. You want your island. You want to be fine on your jet.

• 26:11Rob Dyrdek?

  You want to head out to the golf course. You want to go to the beach house. Like it's really like, you know, and now I look at the world through. I look at how much travel time it's involved in that, right? Forget about like, how could you possibly, you know, do the show, do the book, do. Uh, the podcast and then still have time to get there. Oh, the kids are going to college and like I can, I see the strain. And sort of the use of time just in the structure. And so then I, I know you have more than enough money. Uh, to live peacefully and happily. I know that your mission is is really more on like, how can I reach people and impact people?

• 26:51Rob Dyrdek?

  And when you say momentum, it's like, man, you know, I, I, as the world was changing, then I, as I was changing, I saw an opportunity to share my voice on social media. Then I saw an opportunity to share my voice on a podcast. Then now I got momentum. Now it's like, now I'm like so many more people want to talk to me, so many more opportunities. I got momentum. Now it's like, I want to make a book that impacts people and what it is. Oh, and now I got even more momentum. Like, oh, what about this television show? Like, I saw that. As like, man, I know what that's like.

• 27:21Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Rob Dyrdek?

  Right? And to me, um, I also know that, boy, man, you can get. Caught up in that and and trapped by by that momentum.

• 27:32Ed Mylett?

  Listen close, everyone.

• 27:33Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah, if you don't understand sort of the the second and third order consequences of capturing that momentum.

• 27:41Ed Mylett?

  Yep, let's stay on this. I want to I won't say what it is with you.

• 27:43Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah.

• 27:44Ed Mylett?

  But you because we don't want that. But there's been some significant opportunities come your way.

• 27:48Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah.

• 27:49Ed Mylett?

  Some things that could have been. You think your brand is big now. You're like really different. I'm talking about a public brand. And when those things came your way, you declined. And you know what I'm talking about, right? We won't get into what those things were. But you have learned to say no, because your decision making process has a process. And I think one thing I want to say to everybody that I think Rob has that I don't, that I'm developing because I know him, is a is a process and a philosophy through which I make decisions, rather than just emotionally. Because I will, if you let me, I'll just keep helping more and more and more people with no process to make the decision, no evaluation of what the consequences are, and no evaluation of what maybe looks like

• 28:34Ed Mylett?

  I'll help more people will cost me, deplete the energy that could have done it in a more efficient and productive way. So you have also learned to decline, to say no to different things in your life. And I think that's probably something everyone should know.

• 28:48Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah. And and look, it's, it's one of those things that you could read it in every single personal development book.

• 28:54Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 28:55Rob Dyrdek?

  Got to learn to say no.

• 28:56Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 28:56Rob Dyrdek?

  You know what I mean? And we know it as as as guys who lived our uh lived out on the edges of of saying yes to everything.

• 29:05Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 29:06Rob Dyrdek?

  Because, you know, the the early process for me is like, oh, man, this this might be the one. Oh, this might be the one. Oh, wow, this might be the one. And the problem was, is I hadn't defined what is the whole. And once I finally defined what the whole was, and now I'm I'm like, and I refer to every to it as like, the human why, where we all have the same why. We want to live a harmonious, high quality life. Right? And so you have to define what that is for you. And for me, that was. How I used my time, the type of things that I did and ultimately the amount of money I had, where I invested that money and what that money did for me and the lifestyle that I lived.

• 29:48Rob Dyrdek?

  I had a certain way of living that I wanted, that I connected to my identity, that I needed to create enough wealth that would provide me that lifestyle in a sustained manner forever. Before I would be truly harmonious, right? And when I, when I finally did that, right? And I defined it and I built the plan backwards and, and when I finally got to there, I changed. I changed because I now have this extraordinary security, right? And, and that security now allowed me to get even more efficient with my time, make even more decisions that are based on, is this going to affect my energy?

• 30:30Rob Dyrdek?

  Like, and, and continuing to build my life around what gives me energy, anything that takes energy, anything that slightly takes it, address it and get rid of it, create a system or, or a solution to solve it, or just completely get it out of your life. And, and now you will never compromise, especially doing something that, that's just for money or some higher level of fame, if you will. Because I don't want to disrupt the harmony that I've created because it's unnecessary. I am as happy and balanced as a human being could be. I am excited to continually evolve into my limitless potential

• 31:12Rob Dyrdek?

  in a controlled manner that is done on a, on a consistent basis of joy. Because what I realized is, wow, man, what is happiness? Well, happiness is really just consistent joy. And, and when you go from day after day after day, where thing after thing after thing is filled with joy and an extended period of time, that's when you're feeling what it feels like to be truly happy all the time. When you listen to him, everybody.

• 31:42Ed Mylett?

  This is a dude from Ohio was a skateboarder. And now look at this. I mean,

• 31:47Rob Dyrdek?

  He quit high school.

• 31:48Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right.

• 31:48Rob Dyrdek?

  Look, you keep in mind this, I didn't even understand personal development or even read until I met my wife.

• 31:54Ed Mylett?

  Incredible.

• 31:55Rob Dyrdek?

  Who was in the, who was in, who was like a super into personal development and like, I, I, I read Think and Grow Rich back then and it like, was like, whoa, like, I had read it when I was younger, but it was like the beginning of unlocking, like, what is the human potential? And then my mind thinks in this sort of systems way. And I just keep, as I'm living it and finding the success in life that I envisioned and planned, uh, you know, five years earlier and are realizing it. I'm doing it while I'm thinking about how one day I can share it. So it's almost like this meta process of your learning lessons, thinking of how they integrate together and then how you can articulate this in an easy to understand the way

• 32:39Rob Dyrdek?

  that you can share with people one day. So this is an interesting process I've been in.

• 32:43Ed Mylett?

  It's really deep what you just said. So one thing I've, I've begun to do, I did a lot in my entrepreneurial life, but I didn't do it in my personal life. So my entrepreneurial life, I was always like, well, we need a process or a system for that. Cause nothing can be related to just a personality or emotion. So in all my entrepreneurial ventures, we need a process or a system for that. It wasn't until really you and I connected that like, you know, you're like, that's what my, my life is. So everybody listening to this or watching, or you gotta ask yourself this, do you have a process or system for that? Cause if it's not a process or a system, it's probably not going to be sustainable over a duration. You have to have a process or a system. You are a, you probably could have been some type of engineer in another lifetime, I think. Cause you do think systematically and process wise.

• 33:25Ed Mylett?

  But I think all of you, if you're trying to pull, extract things you need to ask yourself is, do you have a process and a system for it? Is there one? Cause if there isn't, you need one. From your time, from your family stuff, from your entrepreneurial, uh, your part of your life.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Here is Ed Mylett appearing on Dave, Heavy D Sparks YouTube channel. And Ed will be interviewed by Dave and his friends.

• 33:47Ed Mylett?

  I've never said this out loud, cause I forgot. And we were walking about a hundred yards from here. I said, Hey man, let's take a walk. Cause my sister and our family was there.

• 33:57Ed Mylett?

  And we started to take a walk and I was about to get the words out of my mouth. I was gonna go, hey, man, you got anything for me? I was, I couldn't say the words. I swear to you, brother. Instead, I said, hey, man, how long are you gonna stay at this shitty job?

• 34:14Ed Mylett?

  And he goes, what? He was making like 200 grand at the time. I said, you should come to work with me. And I remember it was like an out of body experience. It was completely not why I went there, completely not the reason I took the walk with him. And for some reason, I couldn't get my being to ask him for this job. Instead, I recruited him to come to work for me. And two days later, he quit that job, came to work with me, and he still works in my firm to this day. That happened right on this beach and I completely forgot about it till we were sitting here right now. Dude, that's cool. That's cool, Kenny.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  I love that story because you turned doubt, you know, fear into faith.

• 34:47Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, in an instant. And it's like sometimes that's just a calling on your heart because he had running water. I didn't. He owned a house. I didn't. I had bankruptcy, or not bankruptcy. I never filed bankruptcy. I had foreclosure and repos. He didn't have any of that stuff. And I go, when are you gonna quit that stupid job? Crazy that came out of my mouth. I love it.

• 35:06Alan Stein Jr.?

  It's something you weren't planning on at all.

• 35:07Ed Mylett?

  Not at all, bro. I went there, I went there to go with my hat in hand and say, help me. Crazy. I just remember that right now. That's a huge turning point. Bro, massive. That's probably the turning point. Yeah, massive. It was the intervention they did and then that walk. And by the way, my brother who was probably listening to this, he remembers it very clearly. I roped him into the business. He's been doing it now 25 years with me. Dude, that's cool. That's really cool. What else we got for Ed, guys?

• 35:30Speaker 05

  All right. Sorry, I'm hogging the mic here. I got so much. With all your prodigious talents and your assets and the accomplishments you've done and the people you've influenced, you're kind of ostensibly at the top. And people look at you and say, Ed Mylett, he's at the top, the pinnacle, the zenith. He's achieved it. He's, he's done. What keeps you hungry?

• 35:49Ed Mylett?

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:50Speaker 05

  You told a story about Ray Ray, right?

• 35:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Speaker 05

  The fight that your dad made you go have with Ray Ray. Who or what is your Ray Ray today? What, what mountain do you have yet to climb?

• 35:59Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, I don't feel like I'm at the top. I mean, uh, until you say something like that, I don't walk around every day going, oh, wow, I'm at the top. You know, well, this is incredible. So I don't ever think that if like, I, I'm not gonna give you the stuff that's like, I'll just tell you, I still am afraid to be broke. I mean, there's things I want to do. I can tell you what they are, but like, I'm not gonna tell you that I don't have any fear about like, that I need to keep working hard for this not to go. And I don't want that kind of boogeyman to go away. I kind of dig him. I've talked with Dwayne Johnson about this. I've talked with different, really top athletes about this. Like, there's a little bit of a fear that it could go away. And that's not unhealthy to me. It keeps me sharp.

• 36:35Speaker 05

  Keeps you hungry.

• 36:36Ed Mylett?

  It does keep me hungry. And so, I mean, it's nonsense. I own this place free and clear. I own my jet free and clear. I own the island free and clear. I own my desert house. I own two other ocean front houses down the street, free and clear. Like, I don't, there's no debt, right? I have no debt. And that's not something to brag about. Sometimes debt is really, really good, right? A lot of people made a lot of money with debt the last few years. But there's this thing in me, man, that's like, hey, I still wanna prove something. And then the other part of me is like, I'm addicted to growing. Like, I'm addicted to it. I'm, you were talking about earlier, we were just getting ready to record. Like, I can't sit still. I have a hard time sitting still and I need to learn to sit still. Yeah, you probably do a little bit, but like, I wasn't born to like, sit around and watch Netflix. I, I like doing it a little bit, but like, I was born to do something great with my life. So were you guys. Like, I kind of know that.

• 37:22Ed Mylett?

  And great isn't like, every day I'm making millions of dollars. It's like, I care about people. Like, I wanna help people. Like, I love that y'all were here in my home. You know what I mean? Like, I wanted you to come here today. I don't, I didn't wanna do it in some studio or whatever. I want you to be with my family and in my house. So I think that's part of it. And then I just don't, um... I don't have this muscle where I'm like, this is, yeah, it's not for me like a destination. It's like a process. It's the process of growing. It's the process of meeting my other self. It's, I kinda like meeting the new me. Like, my daughter is the one who picks on me and we were at dinner for my 50th. And she goes, Daddy, are you in a midlife crisis?

• 38:06Ed Mylett?

  And I'm like, why would you say something like that? She goes, come on, like Instagram, you're taking selfies all the time. I think you're dying your beard now, I'm pretty sure, you know? She was ripping on me. And I said,

• 38:18Speaker 06

  Ed, are you dying your beard?

• 38:20Ed Mylett?

  Nah, I can't make it to that. I can't confirm or deny that. My son's in there laughing and so is my wife because they know this conversation. And I said, yeah, I am. But I said, Bella, I was in a young life crisis. And you know what? If you come back in five years, I'll be in a 55-year-old crisis. I'm in a crisis every year to be a different me by the end of that year, to be a better me. And I said, Bella Boo, all the cells in your body pretty much regenerate themselves every year. Your lung tissue's about every six months. Like, there's all parts of you physically regenerating themselves and becoming new. Shouldn't the inside part of your spirit and your mind become new? And I said, so yeah, I'm in a midlife crisis and I'll be in an old life crisis too. I don't want to be the same person. I already lived that life. I was already that guy. I want to be the next one.

• 39:05Ed Mylett?

  Now, all the same character, all the same principles, but living a better expression of them. Right? I've already expressed this version of me. The world's already got that. I don't want to change my principles or my character or what I stand for, but I want to express it better. I want to express it differently. Maybe that sounds like one of those podcast answers, but it's like totally legit. It's actually what I think about.

• 39:25Speaker 06

  Ed, there's a lot of high-profile people, guys like Jaco, guys like Andy Frizzella.

• 39:29Ed Mylett?

  Love both of them.

• 39:31Speaker 06

  Amazing guys. They're getting pressure right now since the world seems to be turning to shit in certain ways. It's, you know, I'm not a doom and gloom guy and I don't like to talk about that, but they're getting pressure to get into leadership positions.

• 39:42Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 06

  Is politics anything that could ever happen to you?

• 39:48Speaker 06

  The world needs a guy like you and I'm gonna sit here and say,

• 39:53Speaker 06

  I'm not gonna say you should, but I'm not- Is that endorsement heavy? If Ed ran for anything, king of whatever, I mean, he'd have my vote. But are you completely opposed to that? Or is that, if the world needs it?

• 40:05Ed Mylett?

  I would say pretty much opposed. Cause I've had some heat to do that recently from people who help people do that. I think if I thought like, that expression, I think if I thought I could do more to help people doing that than what I'm doing right now-

• 40:19Speaker 06

  Right.

• 40:20Ed Mylett?

  Then I would do it. But I think there are people probably that would rather go raise all the money that I don't want to have to go raise to do it. Although I wouldn't need that much, I could use most of my own. Right now, no. And I don't think that- Oh shoot, well, I got two votes, me and you. I think right, not right now, and I don't think probably I will. But if the time came and I felt like, hey man, I could really make a difference and no one else could do it, you know? Then maybe that I would. I would not run for something small or local, I would run for something national if I did it. But I don't know that I have the temperament to keep, to say the political things that are required. That's why I admire some of the people recently that have gone into politics are like, you know, I'm gonna tell you what I really think. I think both the guys you listed would be wonderful dudes to carry that baton.

• 41:03Ed Mylett?

  I'd love to support people and help them with as well, I can help them write their speeches.

• 41:07Speaker 06

  Yep, absolutely.

• 41:08Ed Mylett?

  That kinda stuff. But I can't say that I would never do it. If you'd asked me five years ago, for sure, no way, no how, impossible. And my wife definitely doesn't want me to do it. But there's an opening. I mean, if it really was needed and I could help, I might do it. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight, that's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls.

• 41:52Ed Mylett?

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• 42:35Ed Mylett?

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• 43:17Ed Mylett?

  That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 43:22Speaker 07

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 43:26Ed Mylett?

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now onto our next guest. I know you deserve the best in your life. You deserve more, you deserve abundance, you deserve increase. And I think my conversation today with my friend, Brendon Burchard, that you'll hear here is going to give you some insights and some ideas and just some tactics that maybe you've not heard phrased the way that we phrase it here today. By the way, if you enjoyed the conversation, he's got an amazing app that I always promote for him called Growth Day. If you go to growthday.com forward slash Ed, you could get more of the types of content like what he and I are talking about here today. But this one today is just for you on the Ed Mylett show. So I hope you enjoy this conversation on self-confidence. Here we go.

• 44:11Speaker 08

  Ed, good seeing you, brother.

• 44:13Ed Mylett?

  Love you, brother. Good to be with you, Brendan.

• 44:15Speaker 08

  Man, I'm so excited to be talking about personal development with you because every time I do, I get fired up. And if I think of something you're known for, especially when we see you on stage, or you're on your podcast, you have a certain kind of confidence and energy and presence that I think draws people in, but also builds that kind of trust and assurance that you kind of have it, you know, and I'm going to guide you, I'm going to help you through this.

• 44:41Ed Mylett?

  You have it too. We both reflect it a little bit differently. But even when we started today, when you came on the camera, I said, I'm instantly smiling when I'm with you. And that's because you radiate that type of confidence as well. So it's such a great topic, because even when I work with athletes, you know, like when we're done today, I'm working with one of my UFC fighters and people say, what do you really work with? Is it their visualizations? Is it? And I do do those things. But if you even with the top of the top athletes that I work with, the number one thing they struggle with is their confidence level. And it's building, building it back, gaining the momentum of it again, remembering where it came from initially. And I think one of the reasons so many people, and even myself, to some extent, the last couple of years, lost a little bit of

• 45:21Ed Mylett?

  it is our promises we were capable of keeping to ourselves were taken from us. So I see self confidence almost like it's a reputation that you have with yourself. And if you have a reputation with yourself where you keep the promises that you make to you, you begin to stack those promises on top of each other, you develop what we call self-confidence. When I have not held self-confidence, if I look back 90 days, or 120 days, or even a year, at some point, I stopped keeping the promises I made to myself. And they can be small things like, yeah, what time I get up in the morning? How much water am I going to drink every day? How many contacts am I going to make in my business? How, how many pages of a book am I going to read? And those

• 46:02Ed Mylett?

  things seem very small, even making my bed, they seem very small. But when you start stacking up these little things like, oh, I do the things I tell myself I'm going to do. And when, when the stuff happened the last couple of years, our opportunities to deliver on promises we made to ourselves were for the most part, taken away from us. The, the normal routines and habits we had about going to a gym, even as simple as things like that, or even contact in business, going to an office every day. And so these things changed. And then we wake up 90 days or a year later and we go, I don't really feel like I've got what I had before.

• 46:37Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 46:37Ed Mylett?

  So I always go back, even with the athletes I work with or even myself, where can I begin to build baseline self-confidence? Baseline self-confidence is keeping these promises. Superhuman self-confidence, no pun intended, is right behind me if they're watching the video. It's keeping the promises you make to yourself and then doing one more.

• 46:55Ed Mylett?

  Oh, I love it.

• 46:56Ed Mylett?

  I say I'm gonna make 10 contacts in a day. I make my 10, I do it one more. Now I've not just kept the promises, I've elevated the standard because in our life, you know this. I believe we don't get our goals most of the time. We, what delivers on our goals are the standards we set. And so the higher the standard, the deeper our self-confidence goes. So one of the keys for me has been rebuilding the structures around which I keep the promises I make to me. And the duration in which I do it is causing the depth of the self-confidence level that I have. So for me, it starts with basic habits and routines and things that I commit. This may seem really small. My daughter, by the commitments I've made to myself is I will talk to my daughter every day. She's away at Clemson in college.

• 47:41Ed Mylett?

  You think, what does this have to do with business? It has everything to do because I'm a really busy dude. It's easy for me to just text her. I actually call her, hey Bella Boo, it's Daddy, I did it this morning. Except now I do it and I do it one more time a day. Now I'm like a superhuman confident dad, because how many dads are doing that, right? And I also, and I'm gonna let you jump in because I'm curious for you. I actually believe there's a part of us that goes, I'm getting what I deserve. I'm getting what I deserve. The external results I'm producing have a lot to do with internally what I believe I'm worth.

• 48:12Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 48:12Ed Mylett?

  And what I believe I deserve.

• 48:14Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 48:14Ed Mylett?

  And if you're like me, I don't naturally have a proclivity to believe I'm worth a lot. I wasn't raised with a bunch of praise and belief being poured into me. I'm very self-critical. When I make a mistake, I'm my own worst critic. Even to this day, I have to really battle that. And even when I'm winning sometimes, candidly, I'll be vulnerable. Is this a fluke?

• 48:36Ed Mylett?

  You know, like, am I fooling everybody right now? And so this stuff we're talking about has been fundamental in my life to changing my life is me believing, man, I'm doing things most people aren't willing to do. I deserve to get stuff. Most people

• 48:51Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 48:52Ed Mylett?

  end up getting. And so for me, it's the, it's the beginning of keeping those promises you make to yourself. And then I've got some other stuff too, when we come back to it. But do you relate to that? Is that part of your recipe too?

• 49:01Speaker 08

  Thousand percent, thousand. And I think researchers find that like they might use other language. They might be, hey, that's keeping personal commitment. Same thing. Hey, that's integrity. That's self-trust. And the language I use for that, that's just congruence. I say, I'm going to do it. I do it. I was congruent.

• 49:21Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 49:21Speaker 08

  If I say I'm going to do it and I don't do it, I break that congruence. And the more breaks, then the more breaks in my psyche, the more breaks in my identity, the more breaks in my rhythm.

• 49:32Ed Mylett?

  And I am a billion percent agree with you on that. There is a rhythm. You know, some might call it a vibrational frequency or a rhythm to success. There's a rhythm to confidence. And when you're in that rhythm, the words flow a little bit different.

• 49:45Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 49:46Ed Mylett?

  Places and things flow to you a little bit differently and you have a rapport with yourself. And with other people, when you're in that rhythm, it's funny that you say it because my son had to take a bunch of time off from golf. He had a knee injury and he lost that confidence in that rhythm. And even myself, when I've lost it, it's almost like, and you can be so close to the way you were before, but it's just not what it was. It's almost like, you ever be at a wedding and you watch that dude and he's got the moves, right? But he's dancing to the lyrics, not the beat of the music.

• 50:17Speaker 08

  So it's Oh, that's me?

• 50:19Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, that's just what I've heard. Okay. But, but it's that lack, and that's why you could say, man, I'm saying the same things I was saying six months ago, but I'm not producing the same result. It's that rhythm is off your, you're dancing to the lyric, not the beat of the music. And there's a beat to it. And I think you're a million percent right about that, Brennan. And I think once you find that groove, it's like, you know, momentum is a magnifier. Momentum is a rhythm. Momentum can take a person who's pretty average and ordinary like me. And you start getting enough momentum on enough rhythm, you're like, whoa. You have these superhuman things you begin to achieve. What's important about what you're also saying is that here's what's really important.

• 51:03Ed Mylett?

  Both of us are saying this is an internal game. It's not contingent on the external praise or even producing the result to generate confidence. In other words, the game I've set up isn't outcome driven, it's process driven. Yeah. Did you engage the process today is a win? Yes, that's the, for me, it's like all I can control. I can control my attitude, my activity. Everybody knows that. But I'm linking that to my confidence, not the production of the result. If your confidence is constantly contingent on the result, you'll be chasing your tail most of the time. Be chasing your tail. So it's an internal game. It's also not, I don't need the affirmation of another person to get self-confidence. Self-confidence means it has to do with one's self. I'll give you another big key for me.

• 51:48Ed Mylett?

  And this really flipped things. I've talked to you about these conversations I had with Wayne Dyer. And a lot of times my confidence is not even predicated on my ability. Because there may be somebody smarter than me or better than me, a better speaker, a better marketer, a better whatever. So when I walk into, even today, I'm confident today. Let me tell you why. I give myself credit for my intentions. So my confidence, I've linked to my intent to serve, my intent to do good. And not necessarily my ability to. So even when I speak, I mean, I'm a pretty good speaker, right? But it's, I'm not out there going, I'm the world's greatest speaker. My confidence comes from, I've prepared, I've kept the promises I made to myself and my intentions. Yes.

• 52:33Ed Mylett?

  Not enough precious human beings say, I'm a good woman. I'm a good man. I deserve to be successful. I'm, I'm walking into this business meeting and I intend to do good. I intend to help these people. I should be confident. Yes. They think, they've conflated, go, no, no, but I'm not as good as I need to be. That's not where your confidence should be linked to, or even the outcome. Link it to your intentions, because that's something you know to be true about you. I could always go back, Brendan, no matter where I am in the world, no matter what I'm doing. The one thing I do believe about me is I'm a good man. I intend to serve. I intend to contribute.

• 53:13Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 53:13Ed Mylett?

  I generate a tremendous amount of confidence in my intentions, not necessarily my ability or the result. And I think this is something that's never taught in a self-confidence world.

• 53:24Speaker 08

  Yep.

• 53:24Ed Mylett?

  That, listen, your intent matters. You should generate tremendous strength from your intentions. Yet, most good people just sort of, they slough it off. They don't give themselves any credit for their intent. In other words, they think, oh, everybody intends to serve. Everybody's good. Nah.

• 53:43Speaker 08

  Right.

• 53:43Ed Mylett?

  Not so fast.

• 53:44Speaker 08

  And worse, you lose it. You lose it sometimes, meaning people lose the time or the practice of setting the intention. So even if they are good, they don't even set the intention, so they can't give themselves credit for it. So you'll love this little psychological trick. We call it a doorway trigger. Doorway trigger is anytime you enter a doorway, you say something to yourself. So mine is, when I walk through a door, I always say, I enter this room a happy man, ready to serve.

• 54:14Ed Mylett?

  By the way, the trigger thing is huge. We should talk a little bit more about that, too. But, because you can make deposits when you are confident that you can make withdrawals from later. So let's talk about that in a second. But, like, for example, this fighter that I'm going to work with later today, she has a very major fight coming up. And one of the things, I just wanted to have a simple self-talk that gives her confidence. And actually, we've been working on it now for three months, leading up to this fight. And here's what it is. I find a way to win. I find a way to win. I find a way to win. And I make her repeat it to me with different emphasis. So she'll say things like, I find a way to win. I find a way to win. She'll say, I find a way to win. And then other times I'll have her say, I find a way to win.

• 54:58Ed Mylett?

  And we emphasize this over and over and over. It becomes like an embedded command, if anybody knows any NLP stuff, right? But it's just self-talk that's repeated over and over again. And it's funny how the mind works. We're going to repeat this over and over again. It becomes a believable belief, and our mind moves towards what we're most familiar with. So if we're familiar with that thought, I tell you right now, in this fight, when it gets down to crunch time, and she's in that, what I, they call it, deep water. When she's taken out to the deep water, she might be getting submitted, and she's tired, and she's going to come back to this.

• 55:31Speaker 08

  They find a way to win.

• 55:34Ed Mylett?

  And I believe what we believe to be most true, we end up producing long term in our life. I just hope it shows up in the fight.

• 55:41Speaker 08

  Right.

• 55:41Ed Mylett?

  But you're exactly right with the self talk. I'm curious, do you do anything? Cause I do. When you to anchor a state when you have confidence so that you can make the withdrawal later? Do you do that? Like when you're really feeling it, do you do anything to create that trigger or that anchor?

• 55:57Speaker 08

  Yeah, um, mine's dorky and self reflective. Like when I capture, I go, oh, I got it. And I'd write it down and I tell myself, write it down and go, cause I know I'll forget that state or that moment, or even if I do myself physically anchoring, you know, 10 minutes later, the emotion's gone. So I want to know, what was the aha? What was the breakthrough? Oh, I got it. And I write it down. So it's almost like a reward or a celebration or refraction. And to me, I have to write it down, partially because I had a brain injury way back in the day. So my memory and my cues aren't as easy to reflect like consciously to I remember it. I have to write it down. Um, the other thing I just want to say and reflect that coaching you're giving her is so great

• 56:39Speaker 08

  because I've always defined confidence as the belief in one's ability to figure things out. My confidence is I believe I can figure this out, which is another way of saying, I will find a way. It's the same, it's literally the same thing, right? I will find a way to win is I believe I can figure this out. It's, I like yours better because of deeper level of commitment and adding the win to it. I think that's so important, but you mentioned you have something that you do.

• 57:07Ed Mylett?

  When I really feel, when I really feel something, this is maybe a little bit technical, but I think it's worth sharing for those that want to experience it. What I'm feeling, I, I think we, I think confidence is an emotion also.

• 57:21Speaker 08

  Right.

• 57:21Ed Mylett?

  So it's not only a thought, it's not only a state of being, but it's an emotion.

• 57:25Ed Mylett?

  And there is a neurochemistry to all of our emotions. And so when I am feeling particularly confident, this is just what most people don't ever do in their life. They don't take advantage of states they find themselves in so they can go back to them later. To your point about the trigger and the anchor. So when I am in a state of achievement, let's just say, or confidence, I like to just do something very simple physically that anchors that state in my body. It's not really dramatic either. It's kind of nerdy and dorky also. But for example, if I'm on the stage and I'm just, it's being crushed or I'm just feeling the flow in a podcast. Or I'm in a beautiful moment with my daughter, where I'm feeling particularly confident as a father.

• 58:07Ed Mylett?

  Whatever it is, my daughter this morning, when I called, she called me back, Brendan. She's like, she had a major test today. Her and roommate called, said, Dad, they're going to the test. Dad, we need words of wisdom. We need some motivation. My daughter, and by the way, it's bizarre to me at this stage in my life, bro, that my daughter now seeks this from me because I got eye rolls her entire teenage years when I'm giving her these same talks, right?

• 58:28Speaker 08

  Circle of life right there, absolutely.

• 58:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but so, so I started out and what I, she caught me off guard. So the first thing I said was like, okay, Dad, thanks. You know, it was like, but then I kind of crushed a couple of other recommendations that I gave her, right? And I, when we were done, I'm like, that was a good dad moment right there. I crushed that as a dad. And so when I'm feeling a particular level of confidence, I'll anchor it with just some type of physical move. So like, it might be, for me, it's a lot, it's like a finger snap. I'm on the stage, I'm crushing, boom, and what I'm doing is I'm depositing that confident state into my neurochemistry. I'm making a deposit. And so when I'm feeling it, I deposit it with my athletes. You just hit a home run, you better, when you're running around those bases, give me the finger snap or slap your chest or pull on your ear or tug on the helmet. You better anchor this amazing state.

• 59:15Ed Mylett?

  Now it's anchored and the more we repeatedly do the same physical, simple move in a particular state, those are deposits. Then when I need to make a withdrawal and I'm feeling a bit insecure when I'm about to walk out on stage, bam, finger snap, puts my neurochemistry back in that state again. You can even tell as I'm saying this to you now, my energy levels change.

• 59:35Speaker 08

  You're opening, yeah.

• 59:36Ed Mylett?

  I'm opening. And so this, for some people, that's too much, but for a lot of people it's like, that's it? When I'm feeling good, do something and do the same thing repeatedly, whatever it might be. That's why you watch a lot, you can learn so much from an athlete. You watch an athlete get out of the batter's box and adjust their batting gloves or they tap home plate the same two times. Right? Or the golfer does the same two practice. Pattern of a rhythm. Yeah. Right? Or Tom Brady, let's go. Or Peyton Manning, Omaha. You know, whatever it might be. These are verbal or physical triggers that are from previous self-confident peak performance states that they're now calling on now when they need the most. Right. So that's the sort of the, that's the science part of self-confidence. The other

• 1:00:18Ed Mylett?

  stuff is sort of the art form of it. One of the things that, that I'm still sort of surprised by when I work with people or they come to events is lack of clarity. And, and if I would add on top of that is a lack of specificity. So, you know, you say, well, I want to lose weight. That, you're not going to get a lot of self-confidence coming from that statement. Specifically, what does that mean? Is it about, is it pounds? Is it body fat? Is it a percentage? Clarity is specificity. And so, I want to, you know, I want to have a good year in business. I want to have my best month. What exactly specifically does that mean? So that when you look at that board, it's, there's specificity all over

• 1:00:59Ed Mylett?

  it. I almost think sometimes that building the muscle of setting specific outcomes and specific visual things is something people need to work on. For whatever reason, of all the things I'm not good at, that has never been a struggle of mine. I've never been vague. I've always really been very specific because I want to know whether I hit it or not, but that's what creates clarity. It's like, if I'm looking at a golf hole, like we were talking about golf earlier, you and I off camera. If I, you know, I'm an average player. So what I'm really trying to do, which I was just talking about this this weekend in a golf tournament. I'm trying to hit it on the green, which is a big old 60 foot green, right? Yeah. And that's why I'm an amateur. And that's why I lack confidence. Yes.

• 1:01:41Ed Mylett?

  The truth is, a professional player is trying to hit it to a spot on the green that's about six inches wide. Right. Right? And that specificity.

• 1:01:51Ed Mylett?

  Creates clarity for them in the shot. It's a target. Are better than me because the target is so specific. Yes. Even if they were to miss, they're going to be much closer than me because they were so much more specific in their focus than I was with my wide focus. Yes. Or lack of focus. Some people that are worse than me at golf aren't even trying to hit the green. They're just trying to hit the ball. Right. And that's some, and that's a metaphor for life. And so. Yeah. You're a hundred percent. And one other thing that also creates clarity is this notion that I've been here before. Meaning you were like, take a speech. You're exactly right. And I know you're one of the greats of all time.

• 1:02:32Ed Mylett?

  You've walked out there in your mind before you've gone there. You walked out for this podcast before you've gone there. We, you, you, you project yourself into that space and see it happening to the point even when I was in, when I'm selling, I even picture them hugging me at the end and thanking me. It's that level of specificity. It's that level of, so that when I get there and that, that rhythm starts to happen, it's familiar. See, I don't want to end up in, if I can help it, I want to minimize the unfamiliar. And so if I projected, I prepared, I projected, a lot of my self-confidence comes from the fact that I prepared and I've been there. In my mind, I've been there before. So you're, that helps create clarity for me.

• 1:03:16Ed Mylett?

  And I'll give you one more thing to kick around. You know, it's, it's surprising to me, no matter what your faith is. So if you're a Christian or a Muslim or Jew or Hindu, or you practice Buddhism, or maybe you believe like I do, and I'm a Christian, but also I believe in energy. I believe in the quantum, right? Yeah. And people say to me, I believe there's an all powerful source, or I'm a follower of Jesus. And it's interesting to me, whatever their belief system is, that they don't derive any self-confidence personally from it.

• 1:03:47Speaker 08

  Interesting.

• 1:03:48Ed Mylett?

  Why would you not link your faith, whatever faith it is you practice, to your confidence? Like, as a Christian, if you're a Christian, like, I'm the son of the King of Kings, his DNA is running through my veins. Why in the world would that not give me some dad gum confidence?

• 1:04:04Speaker 08

  Right.

• 1:04:05Ed Mylett?

  The quantum, and you can plug into an all-knowing knowledge field, shouldn't you get a little confidence from that? It's interesting to me how people go, well, I have a lot of faith, I'm in the synagogue or the mosque, or I'm at church on Sunday. But somehow Monday morning when business starts, I'm alone now.

• 1:04:21Speaker 08

  Right.

• 1:04:21Ed Mylett?

  Alone now? You're not alone now. Your faith tells you and informs you otherwise. It's like you start having the combination of anchors and triggers, keeping the promises you make to yourself, your intentions, your clarity. All these things we're talking about, and then you stack on top of that, I have a faith in something bigger than me that's with me all the time. I ought to have some boldness and confidence solely stemming from that. So, so many of you that have faith, why are you checking that at the door when it comes to your relationships, your body, your business, your money? That should be centerpiece of your self-confidence, should be the most important piece of your self-confidence. And I know what it is for you.

• 1:04:59Speaker 08

  I love it. My favorite words in my faith, in terms of Christianity, is, "He precedes me."

• 1:05:07Speaker 08

  It's like, "He precedes me," like, this, this is already worked out.

• 1:05:11Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:05:12Speaker 08

  Somebody already worked it out. Now I need to find my way through. I need to figure out a way to win. I need to, you know, hopefully figure it out.

• 1:05:19Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:05:19Speaker 08

  But where it's gonna go? I have trust.

• 1:05:23Ed Mylett?

  Since we're being completely real, you know, my, people that see me speaks backstage, like, so I saw you do your mood where you're snapping your fingers. But what's the last thing you'll see me do? I actually get on my knees and I pray very quickly, because that's where my real confidence comes from. It's, it's, you know, here's what it's done for me. I've never said this to somebody, and maybe you and I can kick this around the last few minutes. I think also, we put a pressure on ourselves, like...

• 1:05:49Ed Mylett?

  Am I going to make the right decision or the wrong one? Am I going to say the right thing or the wrong thing? And I have found in my life, and I have this rooted in my belief system, that when I've come to a place where I have to yield or make a decision, I don't necessarily think most of the time. Now, there is right and wrong in life. We all know that. I'm not talking about ethics or morals. I'm not referring to that. I'm talking about if something goes one way or the other. I've really built this belief system that I'll make either one work. So if I, if I decide this way, and I might be wrong, I'll find a way to make that work. And if I go that way and I was going to be right, I'll make that one work. There's this notion that's sort of put into us when we're children, like good or bad, right or wrong?

• 1:06:33Ed Mylett?

  And we start feeling this pressure like, what if I don't say the right thing? What if I don't do the right thing? The truth is, in life, most of the time, that path, that journey, both can lead to bliss. Both can lead to success. It might be a different path. It might not be, to your point, on your schedule. It might be on God's schedule. And if you have a God that's a pro that created the entire universe, you're probably going to be okay no matter which turn you take. And that gives you a confidence to go, I'm going to call the shot with the most information, with the, with the best of my ability, but I'm going to make either one of these work. That's real confidence.

• 1:07:09Speaker 08

  Oh, I love it. I'm going to make either one of these works because the truth is, whichever one you take, path A or B, turns out good or bad. Most people go, well, one's going to be good and one's going to be catastrophic and it's going to be terrible.

• 1:07:21Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 1:07:22Speaker 08

  And I go, well, the truth is, right or wrong, the next step actually is exactly the same. If you fail, the next step demands that you summon the best of who you are to handle it. If you win, guess what? The next step is going to demand that you summon the best of who you are, no matter what. So I always tell people, you want confidence? It's easy. Know your job. You have one job. Every day, summon the best of who you are to really work life and at the same time, trust life or God. I think is one of the ultimate secrets of the most successful people I've ever met.

• 1:07:57Ed Mylett?

  I a million percent agree. And I think actually today's conversation is sort of evidence of everything we've said. We both set out with an intention to serve today. There's been this incredible rhythm between the different things that we've, you know, said here together. And if I'd add one last thing to it, it's also that you could take on an identity of yourself too, which is that I'm kind of a learner. Like I'm curious, I was curious where this was gonna go today and I learned. And when I come to these decisions or these experiences I'm gonna have, you know, at a minimum, I'm gonna learn something about myself, about how to do it better. You know, even with an athlete, I keep going back to these examples, but like, I'll tell them that at bat, yeah, you grounded out, but you learned this guy's curve ball does this.

• 1:08:41Ed Mylett?

  You look, so the next at bat, you're more prepared for what he's gonna bring to you. And so this notion of I'm learning, um, I don't know, for me, it reduces the pressure. It increases the curiosity and it also, I'm almost always winning if I'm learning.

• 1:08:59Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yes.

• 1:08:59Ed Mylett?

  I'm almost always winning if I'm learning. And so I've sort of adopted in my life this notion that I'm curious and I'm gonna learn, it's gonna be an experience I'm gonna learn. I've found that I actually produce the outcome that I actually had on my board, to your point for clarity, far more regularly when I'm not so addicted to the outcome and everything I wanna do. Cause addiction to outcome can rob you of confidence. But when I am committed to the process that you've described earlier, and also this notion that I'm going to gather a better me at the other side of this, because I will have learned something about me, the circumstances, the environment, how to do it better the next time, whatever that might be. Get a lot of confidence when I approach things that way.

• 1:09:42Ed Mylett?

  I wanted to have Alan on our show for a long time. I was just telling him this off camera. I wanted to have him on because he's got a really unique perspective and an upfront view to some of the key performers in the NBA for many, many years. And he's taken the lessons he's learned from these high performers. And he's distilled it down into information that everybody can use as an entrepreneur, as a father, as a mother, as just a human being. Alan Stein, welcome to the show, bro.

• 1:10:05Alan Stein Jr.?

  Oh, man, it's so awesome to be here. My pleasure.

• 1:10:07Ed Mylett?

  Finally, man. You know, I wanna start out, I wanna start out with Kobe Bryant.

• 1:10:10Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yes.

• 1:10:11Ed Mylett?

  So Alan's worked with everybody from people like Kobe to Kevin Durant to Steph Curry and many, many companies and business leaders as well. But you tell this great story, I think it's around a Nike camp or something like that with Kobe Bryant that just blew my mind and I think just personifies greatness and high standards. So tell us that story.

• 1:10:29Alan Stein Jr.?

  Sure. Well, I mean, it absolutely changed my life. So I had a chance to meet Kobe in 2007. It was the first ever Nike Skills Academy and they were building a series of camps around their signature players, who of course, at that time Kobe Bryant was the top of that mountain and flew out to Los Angeles here, La La Land, to work that event. And I had a chance to watch one of his really early morning workouts, which

• 1:10:51Ed Mylett?

  Which was legendary.

• 1:10:52Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely legendary. And for folks that are familiar, those have a start time of 4 a.m. And you know, and of course, the most impressive part of that is you're talking about a guy that had already reached the mountaintop. You know, he's already a surefire Hall of Famer, multimillionaire 10 times over, NBA champion, MVP, I mean, and he's still up in the off-season putting in that type of work. And I remember being, as a younger coach, being shocked at the simplicity of what he was doing. I mean, he spent the first 30 minutes without even having a ball in his hands. He was doing basic pivoting drills and footwork drills. And his workout lasted for a couple hours. And I remember vividly at the end of this workout going up to him and saying, Kobe, I don't get it, man. You're the best player in the world. Why are you doing such basic drills?

• 1:11:36Alan Stein Jr.?

  And I'll never forget it. He gave me a really friendly smile and a wink, but he said in a really serious tone, why do you think I'm the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics. And that changed my life. That changed my perspective. You know, I went into that workout expecting to see some sizzle, some sexiness, you know, some flash. And he just was routinely drilling down on the basic fundamentals. And you know, ever since that day, that has been my core philosophy for performance, is never getting bored with the basics and working on mastery of the fundamentals during the unseen hours.

• 1:12:09Ed Mylett?

  Wow, really good, bro. Like, we're right there already. We're already getting to the good stuff.

• 1:12:14Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely.

• 1:12:15Ed Mylett?

  Because I think there's a thing in leadership, that's leadership fatigue. We get tired of saying the same things over and over again, even though we should. I think in business and life, there's just a fatigue of the mundane, of doing the things that actually work, and we move away from them. And sometimes the greatest people in the world just don't allow themselves to suffer from the fatigue of the repetition. True?

• 1:12:34Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely, and you hit the nail on the head. That's incredibly insightful. I think we can readily acknowledge that the basics, if you allow them to, can be monotonous, can be mundane, and can get boring unless you have that type of approach to them. And even if you don't love doing the basics, you need to love what the basics produce for you, which is basically creating that foundation to which the rest of the house is built. And guys like Kobe, they never leave them, and that's, that's the key. And the beautiful part is, it's not saying that you don't also graduate to do more advanced techniques and so forth. It says you never leave the basics.

• 1:13:09Ed Mylett?

  Are they like the building blocks to allow you to do the great things, right? They're the fundamental things, the footwork and basketball. It's the communication or presenting skills in business. It's the vision stretching capacity of a leader. It's the generosity and kindness and gentleness that requires from a parent that we have to do over and over again and show that love, right? It's, it's the repetition we get bored of. I don't know who said it first, maybe it was Tony Robbins, I'm not sure. I say it all the time. Sometimes I think I said it first, I don't know. But the complexity is the enemy of execution. That oftentimes, we try to complicate things in our life and then we have an inability to execute. True?

• 1:13:45Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely. Simple is smooth, and then smooth is what gets it done. And, uh, yeah. And of course, in a game like basketball, for your listeners that follow, it's, it's footwork, it's shooting mechanics, it's how well you handle the ball. You know, we all know those are the basics. So the first step for anyone trying to improve performance in any area of their life, first of all, is to admit that the basics work. But then second, it's having the humility to acknowledge that doing the basics every day is not easy. But what you have to do is get crystal clear on what are the basic fundamental building blocks of whatever it is you're trying to improve. If you're trying to improve your marriage, what are the handful of fundamentals that will go into a nurturing relationship? If you're trying to be a more influential and impactful executive, what are the handful of things that you, and you could go down the list,

• 1:14:29Alan Stein Jr.?

  whether you want to be a musician, an artist, anything in between, you have to get crystal clear on what those basics are. And then you have to commit towards working towards them relentlessly during the unseen hours to work towards mastery.

• 1:14:41Ed Mylett?

  Unseen hours. That's the other part of the story that fascinated me. So as I understand it, you ask him the day before, can I come watch this workout? And he goes, uh, yeah, four o'clock. And it wasn't 4pm, it was 4am.

• 1:14:52Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Ed Mylett?

  But you, I'll let you share this, but you're like, well, I'm going to impress this guy and get there early. So there's a 4am workout, but what happens, tell them what happens when you get there and you get there early.

• 1:15:02Alan Stein Jr.?

  Well, yeah, and I arrived today early because I believe in making a good first impression and I believe that getting places early is, is a sign of respect to the person that you're going to meet. And, you know, as a young coach, I'm thinking, what could be better than me leaving my mark and impressing Kobe? So if he thinks he's working out at four, I'm going to be waiting for him at the gym at, you know, 3:30am and he's going to be blown away. And instead I arrive at the gym and can see the lights already on, can hear sneakers squeaking and a ball bouncing from the parking lot. I walk in at 3:30 in the morning, he's going through a warm up. He doesn't even count that as part of his workout. So he's doing that at 3:30 before his workout actually started with his trainer at four and

• 1:15:41Ed Mylett?

  Bro, that's crazy.

• 1:15:41Alan Stein Jr.?

  And he went on for a couple of hours, again, sticking to the basics and just drilling down. And, you know, he's one of those guys that really understands the concept. You know, if you want to perform well in front of millions, then you have to be willing to put in millions of reps when no one else is watching, which is how we define the unseen hours. And that, that actually I stole from my friend Drew Hanlon, who's an NBA skills coach, who, he's the one that came up with the term unseen hours. And I conveniently borrowed that and I use it everywhere because I really believe that success in anything, even the success of your podcast is predicated on the due diligence and the research that you do on each guest before the mics go hot.

• 1:16:18Ed Mylett?

  Very true.

• 1:16:18Alan Stein Jr.?

  And that's the unseen hours and that's what a lot of people, they don't see.

• 1:16:22Ed Mylett?

  That the standard is different, right? So like this idea that a 4am workout, look, let's just be really honest, you and I, you know, the NBA a lot better than I do, but I know professional sports and most dudes are coming home around 4am in the NBA oftentimes, right? Not starting, not having a workout at 4am and then to know that, no, it's not 4am, he was, you're there at 3:30, he had already been warming up for 25 or 30 minutes before. There's just a different standard.

• 1:16:46Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Ed Mylett?

  I think with the elite performer, I think an elite mother has just a little bit different standard than an average mother. I think an elite executive, they just set a different culture standards around. That's gotta be part of it, right?

• 1:16:57Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely. And I don't know if you know the reason that he did the workout at 4am. But it parlay's perfectly into your new book, you know, just do one more. The reason Kobe does that, he understands that e- even the most aggressive players in the NBA, they're going to get in two workouts a day during the offseason. First one is usually around nine or 10 a.m. and then they'll take a lunch break and then they'll come back at three or four. So his mindset was if everyone else in the league is going to be doing two workouts a day, I'm going to do three because I'm going to do one more than they're doing. And the only way I can squeeze that in is if I get up and do it at four. So when he's coming home from his first workout, his competition is just waking up to go in for their first workout. So then he's doing his second workout while they're doing their first.

• 1:17:38Alan Stein Jr.?

  And then it's, it's the compounding interest effect of if I do this every single day in the offseason, for not just years, but in his case, decades, he said, no one will ever catch me. Because every time I, I wake up, I'm going to do one more than you're doing. You'll never catch me. And I think that's part of what gave him that, you know, that Mamba mentality.

• 1:17:57Ed Mylett?

  Why did I not interview before I wrote the book? Because that would all be in the book right there, like 100% verbatim, exactly why I wrote the book and what I believe. So this notion of this cra- this, what most people say, well, that's a crazy pace. And you write in your book about avoiding burnout. So I'm under, uh, I, this almost a duality there of, you know, okay, you're going to do this crazy pace. How does one do those things and then still not fry or burn out? What would be a couple of things that you would say?

• 1:18:23Alan Stein Jr.?

  Burnout is the result of misalignment between the work that you're doing and your core values, your interests, your fascination and the, the meaning behind your work. I don't know your daily schedule, but I imagine it's pretty immense.

• 1:18:36Ed Mylett?

  You've been here today.

• 1:18:37Alan Stein Jr.?

  I imagine you work a lot of hours, but the reason you're not approaching burnout is you find meaning and purpose in those hours. You're being of service to millions of people. So that's why you don't experience burnout. If those two things start to splinter, if you were working 60, 70, 80 hours a week for work that you didn't enjoy, work you didn't find fascinating, work you didn't feel was making a contribution to other people's lives, work that you didn't find meaningful, you would write, you'd be on the cusp of burnout and that's what a lot of people are experiencing. So it's not just the long hours. It's when long hours are not congruent with what it is that lights you up and fills your bucket.

• 1:19:10Ed Mylett?

  Bro, very good. Speaking of congruency, just meeting you briefly, mutual friends of ours.

• 1:19:17Ed Mylett?

  I interview authors sometimes and they don't reflect what I see in their book. Or quite frankly, sometimes they don't even really know and understand everything that's in their book. One of the things about you is that you own this information. Like this is your content. This is your message. You're, it's just reflexive. I'm watching you. It's like, what do you got? Give me the other one. And it's outstanding. And I wonder if that's important to you that you live the things that you're teaching.

• 1:19:43Alan Stein Jr.?

  Oh, absolutely. I would think as a keynote speaker and an author, I'm holding myself to an even higher standard. I mean, I don't know that anything would make me more sick to my stomach than for someone to see me doing something that is not in alignment with what I preach from stage or what I put in my books. And I don't hold myself to a standard of perfection. I'm fallible. I make mistakes. I have lapses in judgment. But generally speaking, the fact that I'm putting this content out there, I want to hold myself to that. And I'll also say that the books I write, I write books based on what it is that I'm going through in my life. And I write books that I myself need to read. So it's actually a form of therapy for me to write something, you know? I've absolutely experienced stress stagnation and burnout in my life several times.

• 1:20:26Alan Stein Jr.?

  So I wanted to get to the root of it because I figure if it can help me, certainly somebody else out there is going through similar difficulties and challenges. So I want to offer that to them. And the last thing I'll say on that is with any of this stuff, I'm not speaking from a place of mastery. This is all stuff that I am still working on, but the book is what holds me to that standard. So when I find myself getting momentarily stressed, I actually smile, have a kind and compassionate conversation with myself and just say, Alan, remember you write about this. You speak about this. Now you need to live it. And that tongue in cheek kind of self compassion actually gets me through those times.

• 1:20:58Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you talk about being kind and compassionate in the book. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality. You'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees.

• 1:21:40Ed Mylett?

  I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine. Finally, once and for all, 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink.

• 1:22:23Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple

• 1:23:08Ed Mylett?

  and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today's show is going to be special because by popular demand, everybody, I think you know who this man is if you're watching this, but if you're listening, you don't know yet. This is Inky Johnson. Sir. So thank you for being here, my friend. Pleasure, pleasure. Thank you so much. It's my honor. And if you don't know Inky's story, everybody be prepared to be moved and inspired. There's millions of people listening to this right now or watching and they're down. They're you on the foot. Ball field that day, everything was great. You called a play, you actually went and helped out on a guy that wasn't your guy on that play, did you not?

• 1:23:44Inky Johnson?

  Yep.

• 1:23:44Ed Mylett?

  And they're down and they're going, "Look, I, I don't know which way's up. I don't know where I want to go. I, I want to change my life. I want to be happier. I want to, I want to have my test be my testimony at some point. Where do I begin? What would your advice be to somebody, just in general, relationship, body, business? This is where I should begin. What would you recommend to them?

• 1:24:08Inky Johnson?

  I would say tie it to something that's real. Like whatever that driving force is, tie it to something that's real, whether that be family, whether that be the life that you aspire to have. And be loyal, right? Be loyal to what you say you're gonna do. Like, like I've heard Tony Robbins say it before, when he said, um, like I asked her, "Was the happiness that cheap?" Right? Like, "Is your drive that cheap?" Right? To the point to where, when you don't get what you thought you were gonna get. I put it on my Instagram today. I said, "Man, everybody will tell you what they're gonna do when things go right." But nobody addresses what they're gonna do when things go wrong. And we both know, in the words of Martin Luther King, right? Character, right? Is built in times of challenge and controversy.

• 1:24:51Inky Johnson?

  And so when you encounter the challenge and the controversy, I would say be grateful for it. You say it all the time. Things don't happen to us, they happen for us. You say it all the time. Hidden blessings, right? All it is, all the transient opposition in that birth, it's a hidden blessing that you don't know is a blessing yet. So consider it a blessing, grace, right? Consider it a blessing before you consider it a blessing and watch the perspective that you acquire about the situation. And when you acquire the right perspective about the situation, don't look at it and say, "Why me?" Look at it and say, "Why not you?" And just get up and put one foot in front of the other and use your situation to add value to the world. The quicker you shift your perspective to add value to the world, the quicker you'll

• 1:25:35Inky Johnson?

  get through your situation and your circumstance.

• 1:25:37Ed Mylett?

  And this is, by the way, from a man who did this. Within hours of waking up from his dream being over, Coach Fulmer, who's a legend, many- He's the AD now at Tennessee. Comes in and says, "Hey, coach, I got this. I'm good." What exactly did you say to him? Was it something right around those lines?

• 1:25:55Ed Mylett?

  Absolutely. I said, "Coach, I'm good. I'm blessed."

• 1:25:57Ed Mylett?

  "I'm blessed." After his dream had just ended. So this is someone who's lived this, guys. Like legitimately lived this. And tying it to something is such brilliant advice because I say often, we say it a little bit different, but I always talk about, "I'm blown away by how easily someone's will to win can be bought." You know what I mean?

• 1:26:14Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I heard that.

• 1:26:15Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. But they'll say, they'll sell it, right? And so, but you know what most of you won't sell? Is if you do what this man just advised you to do. If you'll tie your dream to something you wouldn't sell out, like your children, like your spouse, like your God. You'll question selling out your kids. But if you don't tie your kid to your dream, "Hey, it's easy to quit." But all of a sudden, you just sold your kids' dreams? That's harder to do. You just sold God out? Because you don't have faith something's going to happen? Maybe you'll stay in a little bit longer when you tie it. So there's brilliance to what this man is telling you. Okay, I'm telling you. And so, there's just very few people who just speak real truth. And the reason your truth is so profound is because you live it. It's not speeches you give. It's a part of your story. Okay, last question.

• 1:27:01Ed Mylett?

  Okay, by the way, this is just awesome today. Okay, and I can feel, I just hope everybody hasn't run off the road. You know what I'm saying? That are in their cars because of the fuel that we're giving everybody. But I want to ask you lastly about young people. I asked you this off camera, but I want your answer here. A lot of people here that are listening to this have children or they'll play this part of the interview. And you speak a lot to kids. And there's something that we haven't talked about here today that I just want to finish on if we're going real. This is, you grew up poor. Now, not poor of spirit, poor of family. But when you got 12 people in a two-bedroom place, there was not a ton of money floating around that house of yours. Okay. So there's somebody listening to this who goes,

• 1:27:46Ed Mylett?

  "You know, I'm poor, so I can't win." Or, "You know what? I have, I think I have a disadvantage because of the color of my skin or my religion or my sexual preference or..." Something like that, that they're, they're not in the mainstream, they're not in the majority. There's a circumstance where their dreams end, or they don't have a father in their life. What advice would you give that young person who thinks potentially that's a negative? Is it, are they right and can they overcome it anyway? Or should they just be grateful for the blessings that they have?

• 1:28:16Inky Johnson?

  I would say, play the hand you dealt like it's the one you always wanted. Right, because we all know, like, who you run with determines the direction that you run, who you hang around is who you become. And so the way that I feel as if I got through my circumstance, it wasn't all by my might and my power, even though I had a level of focus, and I saw the collateral damage as it happened, right? The same way that you can be in a circumstance and you can learn from people that do things right, you can learn from people that do things wrong. But I had people that I respected enough not to disrespect. I had people that I respected enough not to disrespect, my coach, highest level of respect, I couldn't disrespect him. Being lazy would have been disrespecting him.

• 1:28:58Inky Johnson?

  My mother working a double shift, being lazy, cutting class, smoking weed, I'd have been disrespecting her. Right, my teachers that went to bat for me and said, "Son, you got it." Right, I would have been disrespecting them if I wouldn't have tried to do my best and accomplish what I feel I could accomplish. And so the thing I would say to them is, if somebody in life, and this is across the board, not just young people, if somebody in life, that situation and circumstance is a lot worse than yours, and they took their hand and they're winning with it. Their hand is a lot worse than yours. They took it, they pick up the pieces every single day, and they're winning with it. It's only an excuse, it's only a bad situation if you label it that.

• 1:29:42Inky Johnson?

  Perspective drives performance, every day of the week. How you view what you do will affect how you do what you do. Play the hand that you're dealt like it's the hand that you always wanted.

• 1:29:52Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 1:29:53Sebastian Maniscalco?

  My man.

• 1:29:54Ed Mylett?

  I love today. I'm so grateful that we did this today.

• 1:29:57Sebastian Maniscalco?

  It's an honor.

• 1:29:58Ed Mylett?

  This guest today, I chased down, just so you all know. And I happen to think he's one of the most talented and the funniest person in the world today. So this is Sebastian Maniscalco, the hardest name I've ever had to introduce. So thank you for being here, brother.

• 1:30:10Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Thanks for having me, I appreciate it.

• 1:30:12Ed Mylett?

  When you wrote Stay Hungry, did that have anything to do with this? By the way, you guys should get this book, and the tour's also called Stay Hungry also, right? Why'd you write that book? Because it's a bestseller. Why'd you write it? And does that have any relationship between all those years at the Four Seasons and staying hungry for your career?

• 1:30:27Sebastian Maniscalco?

  It does, yes. And I never thought I would write a book. I always thought books were for like ex-presidents and people, you know, who had something extraordinary happen to them.

• 1:30:37Ed Mylett?

  You come across like this, I'm this very serious guy, I'm kind of like everybody else. But not everybody, I just think this is a funny story, and I want you to tell it if you don't mind. Because I laughed so hard when I heard it, but I think it goes to prove that you're not exactly like everybody else in normal. Can you tell them how you did the air freshener in your car? Please tell me that that's true.

• 1:30:54Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:55Ed Mylett?

  Tell me that's one of the truths.

• 1:30:56Sebastian Maniscalco?

  That's true.

• 1:30:56Ed Mylett?

  I just want them to hear this, so they know you are a little bit off.

• 1:30:59Sebastian Maniscalco?

  I'm off. Yeah, I mean, I never said I was normal.

• 1:31:05Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Although this, I feel like, is something that people should do. So I didn't like the, I didn't like the air fresheners that you would go and get at the gas station, the vanilla, the apple, the pine. I liked cologne. So what I did was, I took a bottle of my favorite cologne, and I cracked it in a bowl. And I took like a little dish rag, thin, and I cut it into like little squares, and I rolled up the squares, and I banded the rolls up, and I let them marinate overnight in the cologne. Now, in the morning, I would put in the vents, the little rags, right? This is when I was like 15, 16 years old. Actually, 16, when I was driving.

• 1:31:48Sebastian Maniscalco?

  So I would go pick up a girl on a date, and then just casually put on the air conditioning, and she'd be like, "Man, the car smells like you." And I go, "I know, it's beautiful, isn't it?" So I would kind of match the cologne scent of the car to what I was wearing that particular evening. Now, is that abnormal? Probably, but I'm sure after telling that story...

• 1:32:18Ed Mylett?

  You're gonna go do it, right? I mean, what's amazing to me is you're in your mid 40s and you just proceeded that story by saying, "You think more people should do it."

• 1:32:30Sebastian Maniscalco?

  It's my little technique.

• 1:32:31Ed Mylett?

  That's wonderful, man. That's so awesome. So, I'm curious, oh gosh, there's like a million of those, but I had to at least have one. I live in fear that like what's happening for me could go away.

• 1:32:43Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:44Ed Mylett?

  So, you've had this stuff happen, right? So, take us in the mindset of someone who's in the midst of, I don't wanna call it your prime, but it kinda is, right? Like, you've hit this stride now, which we'll talk about in a minute, in multiple areas, from the book, from the tour, acting, you know, a lot of different areas, in your family life.

• 1:33:04Ed Mylett?

  What are you thinking right now? Are you thinking like, "I could lose this, I gotta..."

• 1:33:08Sebastian Maniscalco?

  When's this gonna end? When am I gonna go and look at the ticket counts? And they're not what they were the last time I was there. So, that is what's driving me to succeed. It's not, again, I don't think in the positive realm like, "Oh, man, I sold four Madison Square Garden shows. The next time, I'm gonna sell eight." My goal is to, uh, to just...

• 1:33:37Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah, it's more fear-based than, than, than positive-based, I guess. I don't wanna let these people down. They pay good money. They don't wanna see the same jokes, uh, this, the, the... Coming to a show that they saw 12 or 16 months prior.

• 1:33:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:55Sebastian Maniscalco?

  So, it's that challenge of keeping it on a level. That's what the staying hungry means, kinda like never resting on your success, always kinda wanting more. And that is a big fear. It's just like, you can't, you can't... I believe you can't, you're hot.

• 1:34:11Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:34:11Sebastian Maniscalco?

  And then you cool off.

• 1:34:14Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:14Sebastian Maniscalco?

  So, my thing is...

• 1:34:17Sebastian Maniscalco?

  When is the cooling off gonna happen? Not that I want it to.

• 1:34:21Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:34:21Sebastian Maniscalco?

  But I'm aware.

• 1:34:23Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yep.

• 1:34:23Sebastian Maniscalco?

  I have enough awareness that we have a spike in our career and then there's always kind of like a drop off.

• 1:34:31Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:31Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Do I want to drop off? No. But it's hard to plan too. It's just like, I don't have a job where the salary is guaranteed.

• 1:34:38Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yep.

• 1:34:39Sebastian Maniscalco?

  So if I want to buy a house, what could I buy? Can I buy a house that, if I sustain this type of lifestyle? I mean like, nothing is really... I'm not bitching about finances, don't get me wrong. But it's just, it's hard to kind of gauge your future based on a career that you could pitter out at any moment. Time for me to check in, right? Now, the check in process at the airport, they don't want to look at you. Head down, right? No smile, nothing. I feel like I'm working. I feel like I work at United. Hi, how you doing? Right? The only time they get happy is when the bag goes over the weight allowance.

• 1:35:23Sebastian Maniscalco?

  They love telling you, "You're gonna owe extra on this bag." And you know it's heavy. When you're packing it at home, you tell your wife, "We're never gonna make it with the..." "It's okay, okay, okay."

• 1:35:42Sebastian Maniscalco?

  So heavy, right? You put it up there and you know it's heavy. So you kind of try and release it. You do that like, kind of soft release like that's gonna take take weight off the bag. And her mood changes. She's like, "Ooh." "I'm sorry." "Your bag is two pounds over. You're gonna have to take two pounds out of your bag." Now like an idiot, I gotta open up my bag in front of 187 people. I don't know what two pounds is.

• 1:36:25Sebastian Maniscalco?

  I'm taking out a boot, a sock, toothpaste. Is this two pounds?

• 1:36:33Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Does anybody know what two pounds is? They're gonna charge me an extra $8,000.

• 1:36:42Sebastian Maniscalco?

  You think the boot's a half a pound?

• 1:36:46Sebastian Maniscalco?

  I'm like, "Where do you want me to put this?"

• 1:36:50Sebastian Maniscalco?

  She's like, "Put that in your carry-on." I said, "It's still going on the plane."

• 1:36:59Sebastian Maniscalco?

  What does it matter if it's on top or underneath? The guy behind me's 500 pounds, that doesn't matter?

• 1:37:09Ed Mylett?

  50 successful people in their prime, that maybe 10% answer that honestly. Because I know what it's like when things are going well. And there is this part of you that's like, "When's this gonna end? What am I gonna do? What would it be like if it did slow down?" So, do you like that? Yeah, not so much anymore, but yeah, I think I'm still after. I think part of my inspiration now is I have this audio I did called Blissful Dissatisfaction. And what it means is, not to go too deep on it, but I had this formula forever, like, "I better not enjoy this, because if I enjoy this, I'm gonna lose my hunger." So I literally linked in my head, "Don't enjoy it, just keep grinding, because of this enjoyment, you'll lose all this drive." And that's what most athletes, most successful people do. That's sort of their mindset. It's almost like a superstition, right?

• 1:37:52Ed Mylett?

  Because for so long, you didn't enjoy it, and you finally got something. I finally figured out after a while that there's a difference between happiness and satisfaction. You could actually be blissful and happy and still dissatisfied. In fact, there's a correlation between the two. The more your brain gets this little dopamine hit, like, "That was cool, I love this, I'm enjoying my success," the more you actually want to go take the steps to do it again. And so, it's like biting into a great steak. You break that first bite, it's like, "Ah." It doesn't make you not want another bite, there's no connection between the two. So for me, the formula now is more like, "How can I be blissfully dissatisfied, happily dissatisfied?" But I still operate out of fear. There's two motivators, right? Gain pleasure, avoid pain. Avoid pain has been like my mech-

• 1:38:33Ed Mylett?

  mechanism forever. I think it was Michael Jordan's. It was Tiger. But I do watch a guy like Tiger Woods. I don't know if you watch any golf, but like, he kind of enjoys the game now for the first time. Whereas before he was laser vision, tunnel focused all the time. So I work on that with the different people that I work with. So that's my, mine is both. I'm still super afraid it's gonna go away. And I think your identity starts to get tied up in it too, a little bit.

• 1:38:54Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah, it does.

• 1:38:56Ed Mylett?

  So what do you do? Do, are you enjoying this?

• 1:39:00Sebastian Maniscalco?

  I could be enjoying it more. You were really speaking to actually how I'm feeling. A lot of people, even on my team, whether it be my manager or... Yeah, I think other people, like my family's more excited when I tell them about something that happened to me than I'm actually excited for, about myself, just for that reason. It's like, man, I don't want to get too happy here. Because this might not, you know, I might not, I might get relaxed. I don't know. Like happiness to me would be like being relaxed and content.

• 1:39:31Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:39:31Sebastian Maniscalco?

  If I'm never like satisfied, then I feel like I'm always going to strive to hit the, the next goal.

• 1:39:39Ed Mylett?

  The thing is though, what happens is, now we're doing therapy together here, the thing happens is you do hit the next goal and then you don't enjoy that one. And then you do hit the next goal and you don't enjoy that one.

• 1:39:48Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:48Ed Mylett?

  And then, so what was the point of hitting those goals if you never enjoy any of them, right? And so there's this part, especially with you having a young family. There's gotta be this time where, I also think you want your kids to see dad loving and enjoying his life too. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:40:01Sebastian Maniscalco?

  Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I didn't get the call and go, you sold out for Madison Square Garden. I was like, what? I gotta get happy about that?

• 1:40:10Ed Mylett?

  I hear you.

• 1:40:12Sebastian Maniscalco?

  But it's just, it's, you know, I'm not like, you know, I'm not like, yeah, that guy. I might like internalize the happiness. I might not show it as much as somebody else might show it. And people think, oh, what's wrong with him? This guy's not, like a happy about all his success? I'm, I'm happy, but it's more managed happiness than...

• 1:40:33Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:34Sebastian Maniscalco?

  You know, walking around with a huge smile on my face.

• 1:40:36Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.