Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 748: Gooped and Gagged, Dad About this episode Griffin is gonna be so embarrassed that he isn’t as rock-hard for the alien flying man as the rest of us. He’s hype as hell about Fourth Grade Fight Club and the special carpet dust, but he can’t muster enthusiasm for the things everyone else loves, like Cincinnati’s Special Cinnamon Me’at Spaghetti. USPS is gonna be mad at us again.
Suggested talking points: Non-Denominational Cross, Knife on Knife Violence, Grating Chips at the Pringles Factory, Stuck on Savory Candy
World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/
Transcript 11,101 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
0:21 Speaker 01 It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship.
0:33 Speaker 01 I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.
1:09 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome. You're my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
1:15 Travis McElroy? Vroom, vroom. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, the big dog, Wolf Wolf McElroy.
1:21 Griffin McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother and Justin McElroy impersonator, Griffin McElroy. I was just, we dressed as, we dressed as.
1:30 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I'm regretting this hoodie. Instant, I'm so warm.
1:35 Griffin McElroy? We look like an anamorph going either from Justin to Travis or Travis to Justin and me in the middle.
1:39 Travis McElroy? I just wear this shirt all the time.
1:42 Travis McElroy? All the time?
1:42 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna wear this until I feel better. That's what I told myself and I've had it on for weeks. Hey.
1:50 Travis McElroy? Go ahead.
1:50 Griffin McElroy? No, you. Well, let's let Travis finish taking his fucking shirt off. Now the continuity is all fucked up now. Travel, we're a video, we're a video forward organization.
2:00 Travis McElroy? But I wanted to wear a gray shirt like you guys.
2:02 Griffin McElroy? It's not, it's more, it's a dark gray and there's words on it. It's a graphic tee. Okay. Man, am I, you can see my nap line right across my forehead still. That's fucking embarrassing. Why are we a video, we're not ready for the, the jump to video.
2:16 Travis McElroy? We're not video forward people.
2:18 Griffin McElroy? No, no, no.
2:19 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean? Like, we're not video forward human beings.
2:21 Travis McElroy? We're audio handsome.
2:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And even that is a stretch. We're a seven in audio.
2:27 Travis McElroy? Have you heard my voice?
2:28 Griffin McElroy? Anyone, anyone can be audio handsome.
2:30 Travis McElroy? I had an unexpected experience. I didn't expect this would happen, but this weekend I went to my first,
2:37 Travis McElroy? went to my first basketball game where Charlie was cheerleading, leading the cheers with the cheerleaders. I didn't think I'd make a cheerleader, but who knows?
2:46 Griffin McElroy? Here we are.
2:46 Travis McElroy? It's a generation. Dad was a cheerleader.
2:49 Travis McElroy? Cheerleader, right.
2:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:50 Travis McElroy? She was cheerleading and they cheerlead for some of it. And then a lot of it is just watching fourth graders play basketball.
2:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's what they don't tell you. Yeah. Do you think that's how mom and dad felt when you were the scorekeeper for the elementary school basketball? They loved watching you write down stuff in the book and like the rest of it.
3:10 Travis McElroy? I'm pretty sure I walked to the games. I feel like I walked.
3:14 Griffin McElroy? I don't think mommies and daddies are required to watch their kids score.
3:18 Travis McElroy? Or encouraged. Yeah. No, it's, it's like a lot of it is just watching fourth graders play basketball. And man, it's awesome.
3:26 Griffin McElroy? What's the, what's the, what's the fundamentals like?
3:29 Travis McElroy? Okay, the fundamentals are, first of all, the, the thing you don't expect, because you think it might be boring. You're wrong. Because the first thing you don't know is no one's gonna score. Like, we're going into soccer territory. Like, we ended the first quarter of this game 2-2.
3:44 Travis McElroy? I was gonna pass the point.
3:45 Travis McElroy? Yeah. So like, every basket is a thriller, okay?
3:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:49 Travis McElroy? You're also seeing. Basketball played at a level where even I can identify the issues, which makes it a lot more engaging, right? I don't understand why, like Francis, the Spurs beat the Lakers. I don't know why that happened.
4:05 Travis McElroy? No clue.
4:06 Travis McElroy? But I do.
4:07 Travis McElroy? It's a flip of a coin, as far as I know.
4:09 Travis McElroy? I do know Charlie's team was struggling with their one play, which was pass it to the tall kid.
4:14 Travis McElroy? Uh huh.
4:15 Travis McElroy? Let the tall kid not shoot it, have the tall kid pass it to one of the short kids and they fall over. And that play, they executed that play 30 times in the game and it couldn't, they could not get any points up on the board.
4:27 Griffin McElroy? Well, you gotta, and I know you're not a big sports guy, Juice, but some teams can't do it all. Some teams can only do, some teams can only do one thing, but they do it in their special way better than anyone else, like the Mighty Ducks did.
4:39 Travis McElroy? Right.
4:40 Travis McElroy? Can I tell you the problem, just real quick, before we get too deep in the paint?
4:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's true.
4:45 Travis McElroy? Um, I was gonna make a joke of like, yeah, some teams can't do it all, like, and then I was gonna say an NBA team that I think was safe to make fun of. I don't even have that.
4:55 Griffin McElroy? What the bad one is?
4:57 Travis McElroy? I don't even know.
4:57 Travis McElroy? You can say the Bills right now, but that feels.
4:59 Travis McElroy? That's not an NBA team at all, Justin.
5:01 Travis McElroy? I know, but it's like, if you're bringing like, ah, team.
5:04 Travis McElroy? Oh, I could just say Bills.
5:05 Travis McElroy? Listen. So it's 2-2, right? We're getting down to the wire and it's halftime and they go out and do some cheers, which is great. I'm, I'm having like, oh, the other thing I didn't tell you, the clock doesn't stop. And almost no fouls are called, which is a, that's, let them play.
5:24 Griffin McElroy? That fucking trucks dude, yes, absolutely.
5:27 Travis McElroy? Like they're not calling stuff because like they can't stop. So they're just like fighting over the ball and getting it back and the game continues.
5:33 Griffin McElroy? Awesome.
5:34 Travis McElroy? Comes about halftime, I'm thrilled, like so thrilled and excited.
5:38 Griffin McElroy? Well, you found a fourth grade fight club, it sounds like, Juice.
5:40 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. No rules just right.
5:42 Travis McElroy? I have to get refreshments. So I stepped outside of the, at the Boys and Girls Club and I went over the refreshment stand. And I did watch a lady drop a hot dog on her foot, which was just good. And then I, then I got up there.
5:55 Griffin McElroy? Condiments, condiments?
5:56 Travis McElroy? Mustard and chili. Oh, sorry. I'm in West Virginia, so it was sauce.
6:00 Griffin McElroy? Color of shoe, color of shoe before.
6:02 Travis McElroy? Color of shoe was the white Air Force.
6:05 Griffin McElroy? No.
6:06 Travis McElroy? It was the Air Force Ones.
6:08 Griffin McElroy? Did she make a noise?
6:10 Travis McElroy? Traders by the truckload.
6:13 Travis McElroy? No, she got another hot dog out of it, which I enjoyed. But I got my nachos and a soda. Nice.
6:18 Travis McElroy? And a free ground hot dog for you.
6:20 Travis McElroy? And then I got to the door of the gym. And they're like, I had to wait for like 10 minutes, 11 counting the cleanup for the hot dog. And I, I got there, they're like, sorry, no drinks or food allowed at the gym. And I'm like, well, I mean, I bought them and like, I can see. So I just stood at the door of the gym. They, that one dad just standing outside lurking outside the door of the gym, kind of half watching the game. And, uh, eating nachos.
6:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:50 Travis McElroy? And he's really eating them fast too. Like, like his wife is giving him angry looks like he needs to get back in the room pretty soon. So he's kind of horsing the chips.
6:58 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. I think the name of, the full name of the club is the Boys and Girls and Hoops Chomping Down on a Good Dog Club. Club.
7:09 Travis McElroy? Um, they had ring pops too.
7:11 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah.
7:12 Griffin McElroy? Cow tails?
7:14 Travis McElroy? Uh, just chocolate.
7:16 Griffin McElroy? Chocolate cow tails?
7:19 Travis McElroy? You're seeing those more and more. With the chalk, it's like a chocolate outside with a chocolate cream. Me, I need the biggest cow tail you got. For me to even feel it, I don't need a pocket sized one. It's like Charleston Chew rules with me. I need it to look like a novelty you purchased at the airport.
7:32 Griffin McElroy? Uh, give me a 50 yard spool of cow tails.
7:37 Travis McElroy? A joke of, make a joke.
7:38 Travis McElroy? Yeah, make a joke, like a whimsically sized one.
7:41 Travis McElroy? I want a cow tail so big, you could tell they've had to come up with new preservation techniques. To make it all hang.
7:47 Travis McElroy? And they're, they're gonna call like a mammoth tail. You know what I mean? They're not just calling it a cow tail at this point. We're gonna have to rebrand it.
7:54 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh, we're at it.
7:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah, go off, King.
7:56 Griffin McElroy? Why do they call this fucking candy cow tails? That's the grossest imaginable sort of textural comparison. I feel like they could have, when you eat a cow tail and it gooshes into your mouth, there's a part of your brain that thinks like, yeah, that's probably what it's like. And that's because they named the candy that.
8:16 Travis McElroy? Also, locational concerns of where the cow's tail is located on the.
8:21 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, the business end.
8:23 Travis McElroy? This is, okay.
8:25 Griffin McElroy? Gross name for a candy. Gross.
8:28 Travis McElroy? The reason for this is that for the longest time throughout confectionery history, if you watch the foods that made us, you know this, candy making is seen as a sin. So when you are a candy maker, you try to make your product seem as unappetizing as possible. So you have some of these names like this is where you get, for example, cow tails. Uh, this is where you get goobers. That this they realize you shouldn't be consuming the this, it's a bazooka. Nerds, it's a, it's a.
9:00 Travis McElroy? What do you call it?
9:01 Travis McElroy? Razzles, you know? Oh, you want to eat candy, Henry? Oh, Henry, you disgust me.
9:08 Travis McElroy? Oh, I see. I thought you were talking to Griffin's son for a minute.
9:11 Travis McElroy? No, like, oh, Henry, oh, Henry bars, you know?
9:14 Travis McElroy? I thought that was about, because there was such a twist. You invite into it and you're like, oh, there's crunchy stuff in here.
9:19 Griffin McElroy? Those are bad names. I'm saying specifically cow tails is like, and then the things that counts. And then the thing looks and feels kind of like maybe a shaved cow's tail. Um, I don't know.
9:29 Travis McElroy? The marrow, creamy marrow.
9:31 Griffin McElroy? The creamy marrow within it.
9:32 Travis McElroy? The bones of a cow's tail.
9:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah. I didn't know how much, I was walking a real fine line for how excited to get about the game, right? Cause if you're cheering a lot, then it seems like you're putting too much pressure on the kids. But if you don't cheer at all, or the thing that I kept getting, I kept telling kids they need to take more shots on basket. And they're really close, like they're so, they're right there. So I would kind of say like, in the way you would at sport, shoot.
9:58 Griffin McElroy? Shots on basket.
9:59 Travis McElroy? Shoot, the kids are right there playing probably his first basketball game ever in his entire life. And there's this 44 year old guy like, shoot.
10:05 Travis McElroy? No, here's what you need to do.
10:06 Griffin McElroy? That's cool, man.
10:07 Travis McElroy? BB's been doing soccer for a couple of years now. She's there. She's physically present. So you could say she's doing it. Oh, this is the same kid, by the way, that one day, middle of a play, walked off the field to me and said, I just feel like the other team doesn't care about our feelings. And I was like, okay, baby, you need to get back out. Still going. Um, and
10:29 Travis McElroy? That's what the team said to each other in the locker room before, uh, every game in Friday Night Lights.
10:35 Travis McElroy? I just feel like I don't care. But here, all you gotta do, Justin, is, um, learn like three or four of other players' names, of the players' names, and then say like, yeah, you got it, Jeremy, or whatever, like, oh, go, go, Josh. And, uh, then you seem engaged, but you only need to do that 10% of the time.
10:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Shout their addresses too, Juice, while you're at it.
10:56 Travis McElroy? Docs them real good.
10:57 Travis McElroy? Okay. I don't think that, I feel like at a certain point, you kinda
11:01 Travis McElroy? Figure out their like Minecraft handles.
11:03 Travis McElroy? Get their Minecraft IDs. This is, hey, this is an advice show, in case you haven't noticed, and we help people. That's what we do. That's our, that's our burden. You know what I'm saying?
11:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's our cross to bear.
11:15 Travis McElroy? Thank you, Travis. I wasn't gonna get religious, but thank you. Um,
11:18 Travis McElroy? Oh, nondenominational crosses. Sorry.
11:20 Travis McElroy? Okay, just a general cross.
11:21 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
11:22 Travis McElroy? They crucified a lot of other people.
11:24 Travis McElroy? This is what I'm saying.
11:25 Travis McElroy? Yes.
11:25 Travis McElroy? They never talk about this.
11:27 Travis McElroy? Yes. There's plenty in Superman stuff, like crosses are everywhere.
11:30 Travis McElroy? Everywhere.
11:32 Travis McElroy? Templars.
11:33 Travis McElroy? Templars, that's one. X's. I'm staying with my Lowercase Ts.
11:40 Travis McElroy? Do you think at some point I will stop inviting my wife to watch new Superman TV commercials? Like it is a limited first run screening event that she's been exclusively invited to, where I have to adjust the lighting? Cause there was a new TV spot and I was like, honey, stop everything.
11:59 Travis McElroy? No, you have to, you have to do it with the same energy that your kids come up to you with like a drawing or something that they made where they're like, look at this. And then you can go, oh, that's great. So when I bring a new Superman trailer to Teresa, I bring it like, Teresa, Teresa, look, look. So she can go, oh.
12:14 Travis McElroy? You gotta bring out the energy, not expect her to supply it. It's a really
12:18 Griffin McElroy? Audience.
12:19 Travis McElroy? What Griffin?
12:19 Griffin McElroy? Audience at home. I just want to let you know that my whole family but me is so hard, rock hard for this flying man.
12:29 Travis McElroy? This one's gonna be it Griffin. No, no, no, no.
12:31 Griffin McElroy? Listen to me, please.
12:32 Travis McElroy? Yeah, my rocks are super hard for this.
12:32 Griffin McElroy? I don't get a chance to really let this out when we're like together. And so like, I think it's, you guys are so rock hard.
12:41 Travis McElroy? This is the one. Cause this is the one Griffin. This is the one. My, you feel these rocks? Are they hard? Yeah. Feel how hard these rocks are Griffin. Feel how hard are the rocks that I've got?
12:52 Griffin McElroy? It's, you, but you guys will share the trailer in our text group.
12:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
12:57 Griffin McElroy? And be like iconic chills. And it's like the flying man.
12:59 Travis McElroy? We want you to get in on the ground floor Griffin. Before he takes it. Before he takes off and you can't reach him anymore. Do you know, do you know with this, when he lands, when he lands and delivers July 11?
13:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:11 Travis McElroy? And he will.
13:13 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:13 Travis McElroy? You know how embarrassed you're gonna be?
13:15 Griffin McElroy? I'm excited, I'm sure.
13:16 Travis McElroy? When the Travis and I are like.
13:18 Griffin McElroy? I'm sure the film will be great.
13:19 Travis McElroy? Your rocks are half mast Griffin.
13:20 Travis McElroy? We delivered, like we're gonna, when it, when he, when he lands and delivers in July 11th, we're not gonna let you forget it. We're not gonna let you live it down because you're sitting here saying it's gonna be trash.
13:31 Griffin McElroy? I believe.
13:31 Travis McElroy? And we're like.
13:31 Griffin McElroy? I'm not saying it's gonna be trash.
13:33 Travis McElroy? It doesn't sound like you believe.
13:34 Travis McElroy? History's, great, history's settled on this Griffin.
13:37 Griffin McElroy? I'm saying I have never sent anyone, family member or no, a move, a cinematic movie trailer and been like, chills. I'm over, I'm gag, I'm gooped and gagged dad. Shit.
13:51 Travis McElroy? Great, Justin and I are willing to be hurt. That's how open we are to love. Griffin, I'm gonna tell you something. You think that you've seen all the different ages there are, but there's not, there's other ones. And when you see some of the others, you may wanna look for things to be excited about. You may not want young people, millennials say, to kinda like rain on your sunshine by saying that the Superman's not gonna.
14:17 Griffin McElroy? Is this me?
14:18 Travis McElroy? Huh?
14:18 Griffin McElroy? Am I the millennial, am I the bad, am I the bad guy in this scenario? I'm not saying the movie's gonna be trash. I bet it's gonna be great. I bet it's gonna be awesome.
14:26 Travis McElroy? I got Frasier paraphernalia, so I don't think I'm a millennial. I think that rules me out. I'm a cusp.
14:33 Griffin McElroy? My Virgo.
14:37 Griffin McElroy? I couldn't even say my own shit. Go ahead, Juice. Let's do it.
14:40 Travis McElroy? I'm staying with my partner's family for the holidays. Well, this one's been in the hopper a little bit.
14:44 Travis McElroy? It's still a good one. You know, sometimes the questions, they stay good no matter what.
14:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I'm staying with my partner's family for the holidays.
14:51 Travis McElroy? You know how there's like Christmas decorations that you leave up through the winter? That's what this is.
14:56 Travis McElroy? I'm staying with my partner's family for the holidays.
14:58 Travis McElroy? Could be Valentine's Day.
15:00 Griffin McElroy? Maybe.
15:01 Travis McElroy? Being a good guest, I offered to make dinner one night for Valentine's Day. This, it turns out, was a terrible mistake. Brothers, the knives in this kitchen suck immense shit. They're all blunt and one has a huge bend in the blade. It's impossible to cut anything. I really want to buy them some knives that actually work, but I'm worried they'll come across as passive aggressive. How do I get them new knives without dishonoring the blade? Now, we're talking. This is a question I'm equipped to answer.
15:27 Griffin McElroy? Good ass question, man.
15:28 Travis McElroy? This is a good question.
15:29 Travis McElroy? It's a good ass question. Man, you stay in like an Airbnb or a vacation home or something, you go to like make something, you're like, what is this? And it's just like, there's like one, you know, like it costs three cents when they bought it knife and you're like, oh no. And it's like, I'm more likely to chop my own finger off than cut this tomato half.
15:47 Travis McElroy? Scary. You pick up a knife that's cheap enough, it's scary to use. It feels bad holding it.
15:54 Travis McElroy? Now, have I cut myself just accidentally on my very sensitive, very knife chef's knife? Yes, of course I have.
16:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:02 Travis McElroy? But it's a light cut. It's a sexy like.
16:04 Travis McElroy? Oh, it's so clean.
16:07 Griffin McElroy? The docketers are like, this is so clean.
16:10 Travis McElroy? Was this a scalpel? And I say, no.
16:12 Griffin McElroy? No.
16:13 Travis McElroy? It was my fancy chef's knife that I grabbed wrong.
16:16 Griffin McElroy? But there is still something remaining in the life, the life aura of the world. Something very futile about like if someone gives you a knife, it's like they're disrespecting your fam- like your family a little bit. Like you need this. Oh, you don't have a blade? You need a blade.
16:37 Travis McElroy? You can do one. I don't think you can do a whole set.
16:39 Griffin McElroy? Absolutely not a whole set.
16:40 Travis McElroy? Not a whole set.
16:41 Griffin McElroy? But if you're gonna buy one knife.
16:46 Travis McElroy? If you're gonna buy one knife for the person in your life that doesn't have any good knives, what knife are you going to get?
16:56 Griffin McElroy? Budget?
16:58 Griffin McElroy? Budget?
16:59 Travis McElroy? Fifty dollars? No, a hundred dollars, a hundred dollars.
17:03 Griffin McElroy? A hundred dollars?
17:05 Travis McElroy? Well, you want something okay, but like you don't want to go crazy.
17:07 Travis McElroy? Are you asking like brand? Cause it's just a good chef's knife, man.
17:10 Travis McElroy? No, not a good chef's knife. What? Not a chef's knife? Okay.
17:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
17:15 Griffin McElroy? I'll go.
17:16 Travis McElroy? Or a paring knife, a really good paring knife. They'd probably use more.
17:19 Griffin McElroy? No.
17:20 Travis McElroy? This is what I'm saying. I feel like you gotta have at least one really good serrated knife.
17:24 Travis McElroy? Hmm.
17:25 Griffin McElroy? You don't buy a serrate. How are you gonna cut up your sashimi?
17:28 Travis McElroy? Here's what I would get. There's an, like a Nikiri knife, like most street knives, this Nikiri knife.
17:34 Travis McElroy? So you are talking like specific blade.
17:36 Griffin McElroy? He wants specific blades.
17:37 Travis McElroy? What shape? Like I want, I want, do you want chef's knife? One good chef's knife?
17:40 Travis McElroy? One good chef's knife.
17:41 Travis McElroy? That's like a hurry base feeling.
17:42 Griffin McElroy? Check this out.
17:44 Travis McElroy? Check it.
17:44 Griffin McElroy? Pizza cutter.
17:46 Travis McElroy? Huh.
17:46 Griffin McElroy? The one, the really, the blade you need in your home is pizza cutter. I think one thing it does, cut pizza. But a lot of people don't know this. That's a really sharp circular blade. It's basically uh like.
17:59 Travis McElroy? Cut tortillas with it. You can cut naan.
18:02 Travis McElroy? I have a. I have a TMNT pizza cutter and I will say I do use it.
18:08 Travis McElroy? I have a CC's pizza cutter where it's the red plastic over a circle that you have to separate to clean that I probably had for twenty years.
18:15 Travis McElroy? That's really great. I, I guess I won, the times I have used knife though, and it was fine. Like I didn't have any problems with knife. Knife, knife works like really good.
18:25 Griffin McElroy? Cut pizza?
18:25 Travis McElroy? Yeah. It's fine for pizza.
18:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, but the triangles get all fucked up if you, cause no one has a 22 inch long knife. Like the triangles get all fucked up.
18:34 Travis McElroy? I feel that once. I feel like if you're using a rolling pizza cutter, by the time you're three quarters of the way, you're trawling through so much pepperoni and pepper. You're like, you've got a lot behind you, right? You're like tearing a big.
18:48 Travis McElroy? There's also a lot of, there's a lot of challenge to make sure you hit those lines intersecting perfectly in the center. So you don't get one little. Triangle nubbin.
18:56 Griffin McElroy? Oh.
18:56 Travis McElroy? Where they're like, oh, I went through.
18:58 Griffin McElroy? And you put two lines down. You've already decided if it's gonna be an eight or six slice situation.
19:02 Travis McElroy? This is also true.
19:03 Griffin McElroy? And you don't even, I hope you were thoughtful about that. I hope you were thoughtful about that before you went in for those cuts.
19:09 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna give, question asker, this is the thing one of my brothers has used when doing something like this. And it works every time. Justin will get me kitchen utensils and as he hands it to me, or as I open the present, he'll say, it was rated the number one by America's Test Kitchen. And at that point, there's, it alleviates any sense of judgment on my stuff.
19:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:32 Travis McElroy? Because it's not that my stuff is bad. It's that this one's the best one.
19:36 Griffin McElroy? Right. It can't be better.
19:38 Travis McElroy? Right.
19:38 Griffin McElroy? Than what, than this.
19:40 Travis McElroy? Is that this was number one by America's Test Kitchen. So it's like, hey, you know how you've been driving around in a car? Here's a private jet. Like there is such a step up.
19:51 Griffin McElroy? That would be so much worse for me to have in my life.
19:53 Travis McElroy? I feel like I wish I'd learned earlier that a lot of times it's better to buy a good one that was made by people that give a crap.
20:03 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
20:03 Travis McElroy? And then you use it your whole life. That's all I'm saying. I wish I'd learned that younger.
20:07 Griffin McElroy? But it's crazy.
20:08 Travis McElroy? That is a nice gift. That's, that idea is a nice gift. They say, here, you don't have to sweat knives anymore. Here you go. Now, the one thing, other thing you could do is you get a nice knife that kinda looks like their knife.
20:19 Griffin McElroy? Ooh.
20:20 Travis McElroy? And then bring over a sharpening thing.
20:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:23 Travis McElroy? And be like, like, don't use a, one of the easier ways to sharpen.
20:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:28 Travis McElroy? Use like the annoying ones with the, with the blades.
20:30 Travis McElroy? Barbers drop.
20:31 Travis McElroy? And then when they're not looking, when they're not looking, fucking chuck their knife. Just chuck it. And then bring out your knife and you're like, here you go. I think you'll find this to your liking. And they're like, wow, even the handle feels, whatever. And then.
20:47 Griffin McElroy? You could, you could also assuage a lot of sort of like concerns that you're being judgmental if you do buy them a nice new knife and then you get their knife. And then in front of them, you use the nice new knife to cut the old knife in half.
20:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
20:59 Griffin McElroy? Then they'll know like. Not lengthwise, that's his cra- like, I don't think anyone could do that. Just any clean cut on this old raggedy ass knife, uh, should be pretty good to convince them that they should, they should have had this knife the whole, they should have had a better knife.
21:15 Travis McElroy? I will also say this, anybody out there considering getting themselves like one really good knife and really paying for it, it will turn you into a, a real weirdo who like, I have that one nice knife in my kitchen that's like this one. When I use this one, I feel like the bear. And then I see my wife like, cutting up an apple for my kid's lunch with it. I'm like, mm, oh, uh, that was my bear knife. We do need, oh, that's not, mm.
21:40 Travis McElroy? Oh, you're cutting tomatoes in that pan? Ow!
21:43 Travis McElroy? That's not really, ooh, it's just, ooh.
21:45 Travis McElroy? We don't use soap on that one, kids. Remember that, remember I wrote you that forty couplet limerick about which pans we do and do not use soap on? To help you remember.
21:53 Travis McElroy? Wash that one right away and then try it, and then, yeah, we can't, no.
21:56 Travis McElroy? Oh, is that, how long has that been damp?
21:58 Travis McElroy? Ooh.
22:00 Griffin McElroy? You could.
22:01 Travis McElroy? I also don't like me, listener. Don't worry.
22:03 Travis McElroy? Yeah, me neither. Listen, I haven't liked myself for years. I gotta live in this head all the time. You only get it one hour a week.
22:09 Griffin McElroy? You could also cook sweet potatoes and ask for some help. Be like, dang, I could use some, could I use some help? Yeah. Do you mind cutting these sweet potatoes? They'll realize pretty quickly something's terribly wrong.
22:20 Travis McElroy? There's also a very good chance they don't know how bad their knives are.
22:24 Griffin McElroy? A sweet potato.
22:25 Travis McElroy? Knife, they'd be like, oh, I didn't know it could be better than that. I did not know that that was.
22:30 Griffin McElroy? Have the other knife on hand while you're doing sweet potatoes. Oh, this is cool. Fuck yeah, this is it. Cook sweet potatoes. I don't care what kind. Smash them, boil them, put them in a stew.
22:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah, you, they're so versatile, Griffin.
22:44 Griffin McElroy? They're really versatile.
22:45 Travis McElroy? Make smashed sweet potatoes. But, but, yeah.
22:48 Griffin McElroy? Call them in, say, I need help with these potatoes. Have them cut these sweet potatoes with their old busted ass shitty dented, dirty, filthy knife. They won't be able to do it. It's nature's hardiest, most stone-like vegetable.
23:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
23:03 Griffin McElroy? Then what you're gonna do is be like, oh, here, you unfold, you have like your knife inside of one of those little beds. You know, on Top Chef, they're like, you lost, go home. And they go and they have to put their knife in the little bed that they made for it.
23:15 Travis McElroy? Right, yeah.
23:16 Griffin McElroy? It's really cute. You pull out yours and you, you say, give that a try. They do it. And then as you leave, they're like, here's your knife. And you say, It's yours. It's yours now, Chef.
23:28 Travis McElroy? That's what it has to be.
23:29 Griffin McElroy? So fucking cool.
23:30 Travis McElroy? The bear and West Wing both have similar scenes.
23:33 Griffin McElroy? Both have gift knives.
23:34 Travis McElroy? Where you're passing, you're passing on the blade. It has to be that.
23:38 Griffin McElroy? That's special now. That's special.
23:40 Travis McElroy? Something.
23:41 Griffin McElroy? You've been included in a family story at that point. That's special.
23:45 Travis McElroy? It still has the price tag on it, but it's special.
23:48 Travis McElroy? You're welcome.
23:49 Travis McElroy? You're welcome. Use a katana.
23:51 Travis McElroy? What's the etiquette you have to follow to buy your upstairs neighbor a new vacuum so they don't wake your fucking kid up? Should I just get it and leave it at our door or something? I would pay whatever price I need for this four year old to continue her nap for another hour. We just convinced her eight year old brother he could spend time by himself, meaning without either of us. We're so close to having an hour to ourselves. Please help. That's from a couple of sleep deprived moms.
24:13 Travis McElroy? Do you think, you know what images immediately conjured to me? Are there still people who sell vacuums door to door?
24:19 Griffin McElroy? Why was it the only thing that we were as a nation selling door to door?
24:24 Travis McElroy? Because I, there's, I've had long conversations with my friend Jeremy about all of the things that we learned from Looney Tunes.
24:31 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
24:31 Travis McElroy? That were anachronistic before we were even born.
24:36 Griffin McElroy? Right.
24:36 Travis McElroy? That it's like, oh, I know what that is from this thing, right? I know that the hook that like pulls people off stage.
24:43 Griffin McElroy? Sure. Yeah, I've never been to it. I have never been to a concert where they get out a little hook or a cane and they tug somebody off stage by their neck. That's fucked up.
24:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I've never seen it, but door to door, like hairbrush salesman and vacuum salesman is just a thing. That for a long time I was like, when there's a knock at the door, it's like a one in five chance. That someone trying to sell you a vacuum door to door.
25:08 Travis McElroy? I'm looking at the rainbow that we had growing up and it was taking me on an absolute journey.
25:13 Griffin McElroy? Oh, baby.
25:14 Travis McElroy? The one with the water in it. You could see that filthy shit going around on the bottom.
25:17 Travis McElroy? It was the grossest, the grossest thing you can imagine. It would fill the bottom of the toilet up because it was filterless, right? See, the idea is you fill the bottom of the vacuum with water and then the dirt goes in the water, but then it'll tell you at the end of it, you have to empty that. Water into the toilet and you have to look at what you are.
25:34 Griffin McElroy? You made that.
25:35 Travis McElroy? What you live in every day when you're not vacuuming.
25:37 Travis McElroy? This muck schluffs off of your fucking corpse.
25:41 Travis McElroy? Just remember that when you put that water in, it was clear.
25:44 Travis McElroy? It was clearer before, you're filth.
25:46 Travis McElroy? Now look at you.
25:47 Travis McElroy? That was one room. What's wrong? We checked all the other houses and nobody's is like this. Nobody's has this beef tallow gravy that you generated.
25:56 Travis McElroy? Clear.
25:57 Travis McElroy? With your slimy body.
25:58 Travis McElroy? Look at you. There's so much hair in there.
26:00 Travis McElroy? That's it. You don't even have a dog. Where did this come from?
26:03 Travis McElroy? What's wrong with you?
26:04 Travis McElroy? Say goodbye.
26:05 Travis McElroy? Doctor.
26:06 Griffin McElroy? Absolutely.
26:06 Travis McElroy? Say goodbye to your brother. There he goes.
26:09 Travis McElroy? Goodbye.
26:09 Travis McElroy? The worst that would happen is when you're a kid, you would sometimes put off the like emptying it out, right? And so you would hook like a, a corner of a carpet or something and the whole fucking thing would upend, thereby dumping the, the gross gravy.
26:28 Travis McElroy? And you just move the rug.
26:29 Travis McElroy? The worst job you could get as a kid where your parents like, go ahead. Do you remember, I was thinking about this actually today earlier, we're speaking of like weird vacuuming stuff. Do you remember the powder that mom used to put on before she vacuumed?
26:42 Griffin McElroy? Carpet fresh?
26:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
26:43 Travis McElroy? What?
26:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Carpet fresh.
26:44 Travis McElroy? That, think about that though. When's the last time you saw anybody do that?
26:48 Travis McElroy? There's no way that shit is safe around kids.
26:50 Travis McElroy? She put more dirt on the ground to vacuum up.
26:53 Griffin McElroy? Like a, like a powdering, like a quarter inch.
26:55 Travis McElroy? So I dusted it. I don't think you still do that. I don't think that's a known thing.
26:59 Travis McElroy? I, as a pet owner, I recently like a year or so ago, it's like, yeah, we need to get like that powder.
27:05 Travis McElroy? Yeah, the powder that everybody's saying.
27:06 Travis McElroy? And then you vacuum and Teresa looked at me like with, and I was like, yeah, you know, spring. And she was like, so it's just like powder that you just like inhaled as you went. I was like, well, when you say it like that, yeah, there's no way. Like I was probably getting, I'm, there's going to be like mesothelioma, like or whatever, like ads coming. I'm like, did your mom use carpet fresh?
27:28 Travis McElroy? Dang dude, I'm so
27:30 Travis McElroy? Dang, that's messed up, man. You should get some money from that or something.
27:33 Travis McElroy? Dang, dang dude, didn't she hear about all the terrible stuff, man?
27:37 Travis McElroy? That fucking sucks, bro. Explains why that water was so greasy grimy, man.
27:43 Griffin McElroy? I don't, I don't wanna, I don't wanna salt mom's cleaning game, but that carpet fresh made the carpet a little too fresh, if you ask me. You, you knew when that had been applied for a long, long time.
27:58 Travis McElroy? I'm looking at the carpet fresh now and there, it like, it looks like it is still in production from the imagery I can find, but it, uh, it's, it looks like it was made in the eighties. So we may just be still selling our original container of carpet fresh.
28:17 Griffin McElroy? Okay, this is basically the same question as the last question, only you don't like the person you're buying the thing for. So there are some different kind of societal norms and energies at play.
28:28 Travis McElroy? You can just put a sign that says, from future you, you're welcome.
28:32 Griffin McElroy? Okay, cool. That's awesome. Yeah, we don't trick enough old neighbors that their time traveling counterparts have come to bestow them a gift.
28:40 Travis McElroy? Put it in a big longer burger basket with a note that says, please adopt me. Like you're leaving the baby at the door. This vacuum, their family couldn't take care of them.
28:51 Griffin McElroy? A vacuum baby.
28:53 Travis McElroy? An adoptable vacuum baby, yes.
28:55 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
28:56 Travis McElroy? In your hubris, in your rush to act, you get a vacuum that is even louder than the one they have now, but it's even more fun to use. So your neighbor's like, hey Jeremy, thank you. I'm really ripping ass to that new vacuum. Riding vacuum. I've been absolutely demolishing this dirt. I love this shit. You guys see this water, man? Sucked up my dog. I saw your gift and that's it. I got right up and vacuuming and I haven't stopped. Don't wait, just steal their old vacuum. Make your neighbor babysit your baby. Then they wouldn't think to vacuum other babies upstairs.
29:36 Griffin McElroy? Vacuum, that's cool. You buy the apartment above theirs.
29:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Then they'll realize like, that's really loud.
29:42 Griffin McElroy? Sucks.
29:43 Travis McElroy? I hate it. Get your baby just used to the vacuuming noise. Just turn a vacuum on every time your baby sleeps. My kids are right. I should go back to living in my own filth.
29:54 Travis McElroy? That's what I deserve.
29:57 Griffin McElroy? What is the point?
29:59 Travis McElroy? If it's only like an hour a day, can you ask them like, hey, from three to four, could you just not vacuum then I'll give you $50?
30:05 Griffin McElroy? Travis, of course you could do that.
30:08 Travis McElroy? But they won't want to even risk it. They'll just live in filth.
30:11 Griffin McElroy? But that's too scary. You know, that's too scary a talk to have with a stranger.
30:15 Travis McElroy? Way easier to be like, I'm a door to door vacuum salesman giving out free samples.
30:19 Griffin McElroy? Adopt this baby vacuum.
30:21 Travis McElroy? Adopt this baby vacuum free.
30:23 Griffin McElroy? Free.
30:24 Travis McElroy? You've won.
30:26 Griffin McElroy? Buy him a little tiny rake and say, this is what we're doing now.
30:29 Travis McElroy? Ooh, it's zen. We're back. Rakes are back.
30:32 Griffin McElroy? rake, carpet rakes.
30:33 Travis McElroy? Carpet rakes. Hey, hey, oh, start texting them videos of people pulling up their carpet and finding hardwood floor underneath.
30:41 Griffin McElroy? Oh, my God.
30:41 Travis McElroy? So tempted, they can't help it.
30:43 Griffin McElroy? Hashtag parquet challenge.
30:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
30:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
30:47 Travis McElroy? And listen, even if they start pulling it up and it's like, oh no, there's just like old cardboard under there or whatever. It's too late now.
30:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, but then you're gonna hear their fucking footsteps every single footstep.
30:57 Travis McElroy? And sobs.
30:58 Griffin McElroy? And sobs right through that that parquet wood.
31:01 Travis McElroy? Can we take a quick break? Would that be okay? And then come back?
31:05 Griffin McElroy? Only if it's to make money.
31:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Okay, that's now you're speaking of my language.
31:11 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
31:12 Travis McElroy? Cha-ching.
31:22 Griffin McElroy? So, um, we've recorded the rest of this episode pretty early, like, like last Monday. And, um, we did it early because Travis is traveling, but then we, Justin also wasn't around and able to record. So I'm gonna do the whole money zone by myself. This is Griffin. Hello. And it's, I'm nervous. I'm nervous and I'm not afraid to admit that I am nervous because this is a part of the show that attracts a lot of attention and commerce and, you know, we keep, keep getting nominated for all these awards for it. And now I have to do it myself. Are you sure? Looks that way. But you know, who gives me confidence in my time of great
32:06 Griffin McElroy? need is stamps.com. God damn it.
32:10 Griffin McElroy? We've crushed these ads so many times in the past. And now that I stand at the gates of hell by myself, I'm gonna try and pitch it right over the plate at 1,000 miles an hour. I have an unconventional workday and it's got, that was awful. That was nothing. No one's gonna believe that. I am a person who doesn't like to leave the house. Stamps.com is not gonna like that if I say I don't like to leave the house. I have flexibility in my work. No, stop it. I refuse to listen to the commands and orders of anyone with any semblance of authority over me. There we go. Now we're cooking.
32:55 Griffin McElroy? I believe in my own personal autonomy, 1,000,000%. And that means that people can't tell me where to spend my time. And with stamps.com, tedious tasks like sending certified mail or packages can be done on my time, not someone else's like the government. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever. You can access all the USPS and UPS services. You need to run your business right from your computer or phone anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting, no rules, just right. You just need a computer and printer. They'll send you the free scale. They're still doing that and they get rates that you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com.
33:38 Griffin McElroy? Sign up at stamps.com and use code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com, code MYBROTHER. Yes, that's one. Now I just gotta tell you about Factor and I can, and then we're all living on Easy Street. And this one's gonna be easy because we all gotta eat and Factor knows that. That's why, I don't know why I said it that way. This would never have happened just to Travis Reher. That's why they make it so easy to get good food. They got all these tasty gourmet meals and they're designed to heat and eat in two minutes. Bing, bang, boom, zoom, zoom, zoom.
34:22 Griffin McElroy? Get that food hot, get it in you, yum good, and it makes your body strong. Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active, busy lifestyle. I mean, that's not me, but I do, you know, appreciate having some time savers here and there. With 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfast, grab and go snacks, and more add-ons. I dabbled, I dipped into the Factor menu, was like, oh, what they got popping off this week? And the answer is, everything that my, my palate could possibly quiver for. Factor has everything you need, regardless of how you like to eat.
35:06 Griffin McElroy? They got foods of all stripes. It's a veritable wonk-averse in there, only it's not all candy. It's real food, too. Eat smart with Factor. Get started at factormeals.com/brther50off and use code brother50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code brother50off. And the 50 in there is a five zero, so it's like brother five zero off. At factormeals.com/brther50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.
35:38 Speaker 05 Who's ready for some science? With sources and nuance.
35:46 Speaker 00 And some funny jokes from me. And some funny jokes from me.
35:52 Speaker 05 Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.
35:58 Speaker 00 From quantum physics to the history of swearing.
36:01 Speaker 05 As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
36:04 Speaker 00 And some funny jokes from me.
36:06 Speaker 05 Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber.
36:08 Speaker 00 And Tom Lum.
36:09 Speaker 05 So join us next time where we will learn about. Everything.
36:17 Speaker 06 Hey, are you playing a video game right now?
36:20 Travis McElroy? Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.
36:23 Speaker 00 Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
36:26 Speaker 06 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.
36:28 Travis McElroy? I'm Jason Schreier.
36:29 Speaker 00 And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.
36:34 Speaker 06 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.
36:37 Travis McElroy? Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.
36:42 Speaker 06 On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.
36:44 Travis McElroy? And breaking news out of the video game industry.
36:47 Speaker 00 And we also talk about other stuff besides games.
36:50 Travis McElroy? So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.
36:54 Speaker 00 Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
37:18 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast profiling the latest and greatest of brand eating. I want to thank Addison for this important news alert that frankly, should have come from Mr. Travis McElroy.
37:31 Travis McElroy? Okay, can I tell you something, Justin? You've been doing Munch Squad so long that sometimes something will pop up in my feed and I'll be like, "Ooh, that seems like a Munch Squad." And then you'll start a Munch Squad that very week and I'm like, "Do I know what this is?" And I think I know exactly what this is.
37:45 Travis McElroy? You know, the step that I think you missed in there was saying it to me.
37:48 Travis McElroy? There is a step in there that collaborators do. I refuse to believe it exists in real life. I thought it was a joke at first.
37:53 Travis McElroy? No, it's not a joke. It's Skyline Spice.
37:56 Travis McElroy? What's that?
37:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's Grater's is doing a Skyline Chili flavored ice cream.
38:04 Travis McElroy? For, I have to say, what a betrayal this is. As Grater's is a shining light of Cincinnati culture. Uh huh. And this is grotesque. It's got.
38:17 Griffin McElroy? What does Skyline Chili mean to you culturally, Travis?
38:21 Travis McElroy? Yes, Travis, what does Skyline Chili mean to you?
38:24 Griffin McElroy? Culturally.
38:25 Travis McElroy? You know how when you visit like a state or a city that has a like, this is the food of this one, right?
38:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:33 Travis McElroy? And there's like your diner version, there's a street version, and then like fancy restaurants and stuff will be like, here's like the upscale like Philly cheesesteak or whatever.
38:42 Griffin McElroy? Sure, sure.
38:43 Travis McElroy? That doesn't exist in Cincinnati. There's only.
38:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:47 Travis McElroy? The fast food version, it is a meat sauce or it is not chili.
38:53 Griffin McElroy? A smooth meat sauce.
38:55 Travis McElroy? Oh, boy. Um, if you're looking for Cincinnati food, by the way, just my two cents, Geta is so is the Cincinnati food.
39:02 Griffin McElroy? You gotta get to David, David Geta's fucking new spot.
39:05 Travis McElroy? David Geta's.
39:06 Travis McElroy? Hey, listen, I like, I like this sweet chili that Cincinnati makes. I, I, I always get it when I'm cruising.
39:12 Travis McElroy? Taste of chocolate and cinnamon.
39:14 Travis McElroy? I think it's cool. Chocolate and cinnamon there. I think it's delicious.
39:17 Griffin McElroy? I think it's cool to have this iconic cultural food for Cincinnati that basically everyone knows makes you blow up a huge fart.
39:24 Travis McElroy? I know.
39:25 Griffin McElroy? Like everyone knows it.
39:26 Travis McElroy? Two people in all of Cincinnati that enjoy it authentically.
39:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
39:30 Travis McElroy? Uh, and I enjoy it on a hot dog. On a hot dog, it's great. It's hot dog meat sauce.
39:34 Griffin McElroy? But all you and your two friends know it makes you blow up a huge fart like everyone knows about. And I love that that's just like a sort of brand identity that they embrace.
39:43 Travis McElroy? It's detrimental.
39:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
39:45 Travis McElroy? That's what it says right there on the package. Skyline Chili. It's detrimental.
39:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
39:49 Travis McElroy? Um, yeah, I think that, uh, I, Travis, let me, let me tell you a little bit for this press release from your own WKRC. Um, in collaboration that embodies the spirit of Cincinnati, Skyline Chili and Grater's Ice Cream have teamed up to create a unique new flavor. The creation named Skyline Spice combines the iconic tastes of both beloved local brands. Now Travis, this is, this is the part I want to highlight. Dick Williams of Skyline Chili acknowledged that some might be skeptical of the unusual pairing, but assured that the new flavor is genuine. Travis, the man said.
40:23 Travis McElroy? In the press release, Travis, this is real.
40:27 Travis McElroy? No.
40:28 Travis McElroy? This is not a joke.
40:29 Travis McElroy? They tricked me with this before because when Fiona, the baby hippo was a big deal, they came, they they partnered with the Cincinnati Zoo to make a Fiona hippo thing and it was not hippo flavored at all and I fell for it.
40:40 Griffin McElroy? Hold on, hold on, hold on. There's no way they said they were making a hippopotamus flavored ice cream.
40:45 Travis McElroy? Well, they didn't say it was hippopotamus flavored, but there were hippos all over it.
40:50 Griffin McElroy? Use your expectation, Juice, you're a little lost in the sauce in this press release and I need you to really hear what Travis just said is that he thought that they made of ice cream that tasted like a big zoo animal.
41:01 Travis McElroy? Not exactly like, but like Sim, you know, it would be reminiscent, like when you eat a pumpkin spice flavored ice cream and you're like, I get it.
41:08 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Hey, so we bought this Sonic the Hedgehog cereal when the new movie came out and it didn't taste at all like Sonic, like I imagine Sonic the Hedgehog's body to taste.
41:18 Travis McElroy? This episode, this very episode, you were talking about how cow tails are gross because they remind you of cow's tails.
41:24 Griffin McElroy? You're right Travis.
41:25 Travis McElroy? That's not exactly, that's a huge characterization.
41:27 Griffin McElroy? He's exactly right and I'm being a mondo hypocrite right now.
41:32 Travis McElroy? Thank you. All I'm saying is that when I saw it, Cincinnati chili, yes, has a certain cinnamon chocolatey sweetness to it, but it is predominantly meaty. So when I see a Skyline chili ice cream, I think I can see where the doubt comes in.
41:49 Travis McElroy? Um, you guys gotta hear some of these, okay? So the quote from Grater's is from a person named Chip Grater, which is awesome.
41:57 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, awesome. That sounds like a job someone has at a Pringles factory.
42:02 Travis McElroy? Chip Grater of Grater's Ice Cream revealed the idea for the collaboration has been in the development for several years.
42:07 Travis McElroy? Sure.
42:08 Travis McElroy? Three to five years ago, we started kicking around this idea of collaboration of Skyline.
42:11 Travis McElroy? Which one was it, Chip?
42:12 Travis McElroy? Which one was it, Chip? You know exactly the day it was.
42:16 Travis McElroy? There's no paper trail?
42:17 Travis McElroy? Check your emails, Chip. William described the new flavor as a subtle blend. This is just the spice, just the spice mix, which people love. It reminds us of Skyline Chili, but it's just a hint. And it goes great with no ice cream. I know. Don't get me wrong, it sucks. And then it's only a little.
42:34 Travis McElroy? It only sucks a little, I promise. It's mostly our thing, not their thing. Their thing is bad.
42:39 Travis McElroy? It's so gross.
42:40 Travis McElroy? We will let them put just a little of their thing into our thing, but it's mostly our thing, which you love, right?
42:45 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And when you add the oyster cracker in there that's not salty, but it's sweet, it's a great experience.
42:51 Travis McElroy? We put a sweet oyster cracker?
42:54 Travis McElroy? The duo tested 15 different flavors.
42:56 Travis McElroy? Just the Nilla wafer.
42:57 Travis McElroy? Hold on. The duo tested 15 different flavors before settling on the final version. And guys, you have to, we had, we had one that punched too hard with the Skyline flavor and had cheese bits in it.
43:13 Travis McElroy? Hey, I want to be there on that day where the student's like, good news, y'all. I cracked it. You know, the secret ingredient we were missing? Queso.
43:21 Travis McElroy? He comes in like hair all about, like just sweating, like, is this it?
43:25 Travis McElroy? There's chili, like just straining.
43:27 Travis McElroy? I don't know.
43:28 Travis McElroy? That was the 14th iteration.
43:30 Travis McElroy? Look, that's in this one. That's that we were all looking at this thinking, hmm, needs cheese. Let's get cheese in it.
43:37 Griffin McElroy? For everyone who's just kind of been looking at the world and been like, how did we slip into this darkest timeline? It's nice when we see things like this to know, like, there are avenues that we, there are paths that fate could have led us down that would have been a little bit worse.
43:53 Travis McElroy? Is there, is there an ice cream flavor that you guys would be excited that there was cheese in?
44:00 Travis McElroy? I'm trying to think of like, what that would go with, that would make me.
44:04 Griffin McElroy? Apple, like a jam and cheese.
44:07 Travis McElroy? There's been a mac and cheese. I mean, they, didn't we just talk about, they did like a, a charcuterie inspired thing at Baskin Robbins?
44:15 Travis McElroy? That doesn't count though. That's a stunt. Grater's is above that.
44:21 Griffin McElroy? Grater's is a bit.
44:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah, absolutely. Skyline spices right inside the ice cream. And then a great oyster cracker that stays crunchy in the ice cream. This is the most defensive press release I've ever read.
44:33 Griffin McElroy? Really?
44:33 Travis McElroy? Of any of this guy. Oh, and then there's a, there's another quote. Yeah, the, the oyster cracker makes it cinnamon, a lot of cinnamon. But the oyster cracker? Perfect.
44:44 Griffin McElroy? We promise.
44:44 Travis McElroy? The cracker really ties it all together. Salty and buttery. So Cincinnati, said another tester.
44:50 Griffin McElroy? He hit, he had in the notes, like, hit cinnamon hard. They're gonna hear cinnamon and they're gonna think that's a thing that goes in ice cream sometimes.
44:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
44:57 Griffin McElroy? That's a friend who belongs to ice creams. Cinnamon, cinnamon.
45:00 Travis McElroy? No, don't say oyster more. Stop saying oyster, please.
45:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:05 Travis McElroy? Um, real quick, I just, sorry, I, I did mean to mention, and, and to get a little greedy. But I wanted to show you guys these real quick, because this is just. This is one you gotta see for yourself, honestly, because I, um, and I.
45:20 Griffin McElroy? Awesome. Yeah, no, yeah.
45:22 Travis McElroy? No, no.
45:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
45:24 Travis McElroy? That's not real, Justin.
45:26 Travis McElroy? I had to check a few times. Enjoy soup like never before. Progresso, your go-to for comforting premium soups is innova- It must be a different progresso. It's innovating beyond expectations this cold and flu season with the launch of the first ever limited edition soup drops. What's a soup drop? Well, it's a soup you can suck on, of course.
45:46 Griffin McElroy? Any soup's a soup you can suck on, you fucking loser.
45:49 Travis McElroy? Don't.
45:49 Travis McElroy? Okay, I'm, we've been doing Munch Squad long enough now. That I believe, and I'm not breaking new ground here, but this is the kind of thing, right? That would have been an April Fool's joke.
46:01 Travis McElroy? Yes.
46:02 Travis McElroy? Like six years ago, right?
46:03 Travis McElroy? Before things fell apart, yes.
46:04 Travis McElroy? And now it's a thing that they're like, we're gonna make a hundred of these.
46:08 Travis McElroy? So that, yes, that is a question I get a lot on Munch Squad. Travis, thank you. The difference is we used to have sin.
46:14 Travis McElroy? Yes.
46:15 Travis McElroy? There used to be sin.
46:16 Griffin McElroy? Sin and consequences are the two things we're missing.
46:18 Travis McElroy? Consequences, culpability.
46:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah, right? And that all used to happen. That doesn't happen anymore. So there are no, what we in the business, in the, in the QSR food industry called repercussions.
46:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:30 Travis McElroy? The judgment. So yes, soup drops, you get a can of soup drops.
46:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:34 Travis McElroy? They look grotesque.
46:37 Griffin McElroy? Is it, I, obviously it's funny if we take a Kennedy's soup drops and we take a bunch of Werther's originals and we replace the Werther's originals with soup drops.
46:44 Travis McElroy? Obviously.
46:45 Griffin McElroy? And then we take them to the big hotel that Pop Pop lives in and give them to all the elderly people there. And that's like a funny harmless prank. I'm worried if the elderly get their hands on soup drops. It's gonna be a thing, like they're gonna get way into them.
47:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah, this is gonna be a huge thing for them.
47:03 Griffin McElroy? This could be huge.
47:05 Travis McElroy? They love nasty drops already.
47:06 Travis McElroy? They've already been sucking on bullion cubes.
47:09 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
47:09 Travis McElroy? Now they could just cut out the middleman.
47:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, with soup drops, soup you can suck on.
47:14 Travis McElroy? Soup you can suck on.
47:16 Griffin McElroy? Suck this, suck my soup. I'm Progresso.
47:20 Travis McElroy? Here's, this part's wild, man. These savory drops are arriving for a limited time this month for National Soup Month. Right at the height of cold and flu season. Now, this press release came out January 16th, which is halfway through the month. So they already skipped a lot of it, I feel like. Um, so, uh, let's see here, um.
47:41 Travis McElroy? Justin, can I tell you something that's messed me up about this picture? And I think it's just that maybe they didn't.
47:47 Travis McElroy? It's horrid.
47:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's horrid.
47:48 Griffin McElroy? Soup drops looks so bad.
47:50 Travis McElroy? They look so bad, I can't describe.
47:53 Travis McElroy? On the can.
47:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
47:55 Travis McElroy? You see a bowl of soup with a spoon hovering over it with a soup drop on it. And then next to it says, serving suggestion.
48:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
48:03 Griffin McElroy? One.
48:04 Travis McElroy? In spoon.
48:05 Travis McElroy? So you, but you're saying you should serve these hovering over a bowl of soup?
48:10 Travis McElroy? Another bowl, yeah, because they say here, we, it says, uh, now there's no spoon needed to dive into the classic taste of iconic progressive chicken, traditional chicken noodle soup. But you certainly can reach for the real thing if you're looking for that feeling of a hug in a bowl. Now, words are supposed to mean stuff.
48:29 Travis McElroy? Which one is it?
48:29 Travis McElroy? This sentence says, yeah, you can eat it in cough drop form, but you can still buy regular soup.
48:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah, we didn't have to stop making the soup. We haven't like pushed all our chips in on soup drops, the soup you could suck. We're still.
48:43 Griffin McElroy? Suck that soup.
48:45 Travis McElroy? We're still, we're hedging our bets a little bit on this one. We're not willing to go all in. Can you imagine? I mean, Oreo posts, just stop making Oreo O's to make Oreo Puffs. So. Stranger things than this have happened.
48:58 Griffin McElroy? Can you imagine if fucking Ludens or Ricola put out a new tagline that was like, suck this shit? Suck on it.
49:05 Travis McElroy? Medicine, you could suck asshole.
49:08 Griffin McElroy? It's crazy Progresso for you to come out of the gate with, yeah, yeah, it's soup candy. Suck it. That's fucking wild, man. You're kind of, this energy is wild, dude.
49:20 Travis McElroy? Here's, man, here's a real, a real fucking barnstormer of a sentence from the person who runs Progresso. When you're sick, nothing is truly more reassuring than chicken noodle soup. So we thought, why stop at the soup bowl? We took the beloved flavors of our Progresso chicken noodle soup and packed them into a fun savory candy soup drop for a totally new way to enjoy the taste you love whenever and wherever you want. Stop say, stop justifying it. Like you know what you did. Stop, like the sentences you're saying are maniacal.
49:59 Travis McElroy? It is new.
50:00 Travis McElroy? I think you can stand.
50:01 Travis McElroy? Bad. Like you made of a steak.
50:03 Travis McElroy? Well, yeah, you could make a chicken soup inhaler and I, I still would feel this way. I didn't need it in a different.
50:09 Griffin McElroy? I might.
50:10 Travis McElroy? Different state of matter.
50:12 Griffin McElroy? I might fuck with a chicken soup inhaler. That would be, that would be good. If you could get some of those good effects of chicken noodle soup, but like when you're at a basketball game, like in public.
50:22 Travis McElroy? When they wouldn't let you have like your food in there and you could just do a puff puff of some soup.
50:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Just a soup vape, I guess is what I'm asking for. I mean, we're close.
50:32 Travis McElroy? That favorite flavor of Progresso iconic chicken noodle soup is packed into each drop. It's like broth, savory veggies, chicken, soft egg noodles, and a hint of parsley have all been stirred up in a surprising way that sure to wow your taste buds. And the best part is you can enjoy soup drops anywhere in the carpool line during a grocery run.
50:54 Travis McElroy? List off a hundred places.
50:56 Griffin McElroy? I only just keep going.
50:58 Travis McElroy? While folding laundry.
51:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, man.
51:01 Travis McElroy? Sitting at the doctor's office or hiding under the covers. The coziness you crave.
51:07 Griffin McElroy? Hiding under the covers?
51:09 Travis McElroy? Guys, the coziness you crave is just one drop away. These are the drops to reach for when you're so depressed you can't eat soup.
51:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:17 Travis McElroy? Where the soup would be too messy because you have to sit up to eat soup.
51:21 Travis McElroy? If you're hiding in the rain in a tree outside an enemy's window and you're worried that the rain would dilute your soup, worry no more.
51:29 Griffin McElroy? That's my, that's my issue is when I'm evading the Babadook in my bedroom.
51:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:34 Griffin McElroy? I can't eat my soup at the same time.
51:36 Travis McElroy? When you're monitoring the kids you're not allowed to see from the car in the parking lot across the street.
51:41 Travis McElroy? You don't want to risk spilling soup when you're laughing, looking like an idiot. When you're taking pictures of your wife cuckolding you with your best friend, you can't risk.
51:51 Griffin McElroy? You need the sands to hold the big zoom lens.
51:54 Travis McElroy? They might see the soup steam from your car window.
51:57 Griffin McElroy? See? What if their angle was like, everyone keeps burning their genitals and crotch and thighs with our hot molten soup? We know, we know it's hard and dangerous to eat our food.
52:11 Travis McElroy? No more lawsuits, says General Mills. You can't sue us anymore for hot soup because you could have had the drops.
52:19 Griffin McElroy? Hurt yourself with these drops, babies.
52:21 Travis McElroy? Now, the problem is, is that the end of the drop experience, it turns you into a bowl of soup and the Oompa Loompas have to roll you out of there. That is, that's the one problem our boys in R and D couldn't fix.
52:31 Griffin McElroy? Super, super duperty soup.
52:35 Travis McElroy? We turned another child to soup.
52:40 Travis McElroy? Hey, listen, there is, this is where it's, I get irritated is because you gotta go to progresso soup drops dot com, starting on Thursday, January 16th at nine a.m.
52:48 Travis McElroy? Sign a liability waiver.
52:50 Travis McElroy? Yeah, with additional quantities released every Thursday for the rest of National Soup Month while supplies last. What do you mean while supplies last? How many of those fucking things do you have? Just sell them already, but they're not even selling them, guys. Each order comes with an actual can of Progreso Chicken Noodle Soup. All for just two forty-nine, which is the typical price of a can of Progreso Soup, plus just ninety-nine cents shipping.
53:15 Travis McElroy? Legal loopholes, that's how they get you.
53:18 Griffin McElroy? It's a real Trojan horse.
53:20 Travis McElroy? Here's the, here's the way this ends. Do you think that that's so when you pop a soup drop in, you're like, actually this is gross. But I do have that can of soup. I've, I've got blue soup balls. Suck up on this soup you could suck on. No, suck up on this soup you can suck on for comfort when you really need it. And really just to say you tried it.
53:42 Griffin McElroy? Hey nasty soup perv.
53:45 Travis McElroy? And feel supported this cold and flu season. Unless they're like medicated, give me medicated soup drops that are gonna like cool my throat or something. I'm like, now I'm feeling supported. Otherwise you're just giving me a bad experience.
54:02 Griffin McElroy? If I could put one of these into an eight ounce cup of hot water and then moments late, and then moments later.
54:10 Travis McElroy? Bull yawn cue, baby. That's what you're talking about.
54:12 Griffin McElroy? No, no, no, no, no.
54:14 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, no. He wants the candy.
54:16 Griffin McElroy? I wanted to, I want, but then you put it in the cup and it turns into real soup with stuff. I want to taste the soft egg noodles.
54:23 Travis McElroy? I, I keep going back to when he said it's a savory candy and I am really getting stuck on that because I know you can have savory components, but like, is it sweet? No dang, I mean, is it a confection? The closest we've gotten is like black licorice where at that point it's at most a punishing sweet candy. Okay. It's like the Swedish salted.
54:46 Griffin McElroy? It's an umami.
54:47 Travis McElroy? Yeah, yeah. I said umami bomb. I wish to God I had these. I would do anything. For the soup box, for the soup you can suck on? Yeah, I really would like to eat one to see what it's like and feel that.
54:58 Griffin McElroy? Set your timer right now before you forget for Thursday to buy soup drops.
55:02 Travis McElroy? I'll rely on my droogies to get me my soup drops. That's right, my droogies. You'll be there at Thursday at nine to get me my drops, woncha? P O box fifty four, that's a good droogie. Send it to two five seven oh six. I'll take all the kids you got. Fuck. Rachel, cut that out.
55:21 Griffin McElroy? Don't cut it out, Rachel.
55:22 Travis McElroy? Oh, no.
55:22 Griffin McElroy? What, what, all the, the beautiful little soup droppies you can get, my little gremlins?
55:28 Travis McElroy? We'll be gone, but be back soon. Not today, perhaps tomorrow. Send me soup, I can suck on, but be back soon.
55:37 Travis McElroy? Here's the problem. I know myself well enough. It would just be soup I could crunch on.
55:41 Travis McElroy? Violence rocks a local post office.
55:43 Travis McElroy? For sure.
55:44 Travis McElroy? Violence rocks a local post office when the staff once again beats up on the husky boy that keeps doing bad stuff. Ruining, ruining the whole thing with heavy cans of soup drops.
55:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah, we got a hundred loose cans of soup you can suck on here. They, they just wrote it on Sharpie, wrote the address and threw it in a mailbox.
56:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I got some you can suck on, podcaster. Thanks a lot, pal. Really appreciate these heavy boxes. Not since you made a hundred thousand boxes of craft dinner get delivered here, have we hated your guts so much?
56:12 Travis McElroy? No, I bet the post office is so excited that you're still, you're keeping the youngins using the postal service.
56:19 Travis McElroy? For sure.
56:19 Travis McElroy? For sure. Anything I can do. Hey, folks, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you have enjoyed yourself. In two weeks, we're gonna be in Florida and you better do it too. Yeah. So February 20th and 21st, we're gonna be in Tampa doing My Brother, My Brother and Me on the 20th and Adventure Zone on the 21st. It's our first ever Adventure Zone in Florida, so don't miss it. February 22nd, we're doing My Brother, My Brother and Me in Jacksonville. For tickets and info, go to bit.ly/macaroytours. Um, also Champions Grove is coming up in Maine. There's only four packages available. Um, we're playing some board games, table games. You could do, uh, D and D with our guests, other games we're playing, um, meet new friends, explore the castle.
57:02 Travis McElroy? Explore yourself.
57:03 Travis McElroy? Explore yourself, emotionally, spiritually.
57:06 Travis McElroy? Explore your own limits.
57:07 Travis McElroy? Champions Grove dot com. That's where you can go get tickets. Go check it out.
57:10 Griffin McElroy? Bunch of merch up in the merch store, including a holographic Dare to Care sticker.
57:14 Travis McElroy? It's retro.
57:15 Griffin McElroy? 50% of the proceeds from that sticker will be donated to World Central Kitchen. There's also a poetry corner bumper magnet, not a whole bumper for a car, but a magnet designed by Dana Wagner. That's of course from, uh, from my other podcast, Wonderful, that I do with my wife, Rachel. It's really rad. Also, you can still get the VOD for Candle Nights 2024. Pay what you want. All proceeds go to Harmony House and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to World Central Kitchen. So, um, macrowatch.com. Go check it out.
57:43 Travis McElroy? Now, here's what's happened. We're recording this the same day that the episode in which we announce that we want people to send the fears that they're going to overcome comes in. So I need one of you boys to step up and share of a fear.
57:55 Griffin McElroy? A fear that I'm going to get over?
57:57 Travis McElroy? That you're going to be faster than this year.
58:00 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
58:03 Travis McElroy? Hmm. I'm gonna stop being afraid that I'll let my kids down.
58:06 Travis McElroy? Oh, wait.
58:08 Travis McElroy? Is that what you mean? That's the kind of thing?
58:10 Travis McElroy? No, no, like I said, I was gonna.
58:11 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna stop being afraid that if I take more than one milligram of melatonin, I'll sleep all day. Because that is, that's a persistent fear and I know that doesn't make sense. I'm 44 years old.
58:22 Griffin McElroy? The end of Army of Darkness. If you take too much.
58:23 Travis McElroy? I'm 180 pounds. There's like no way, there's no way it's gonna make me sleep all day.
58:28 Griffin McElroy? No way.
58:28 Travis McElroy? What happened? Doctor, doctor, what happened?
58:31 Travis McElroy? I got really scared. I woke up one.
58:32 Travis McElroy? Two milligrams.
58:34 Travis McElroy? I woke up one time after I took one and a half milligrams and I felt like I was hungover. So I'm just gonna, but I'm not gonna be afraid of it anymore. I'm just gonna like take one milligram.
58:43 Griffin McElroy? That's a decent thing to not be afraid of, but to be like observant of.
58:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's like I'm.
58:49 Griffin McElroy? Stay observant?
58:50 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna keep my head on a swivel. My name's Justin McRae.
58:53 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
58:54 Griffin McElroy? Griffin McElroy.
58:55 Travis McElroy? This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips.
59:30 Speaker 00 Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.
Previous MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast Next MBMBaM 749: Christmas for Consumers Page updated November 4, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated