Ep 592 - 2025: A Year in Review

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello0oo0oo0. Happy New year!!!!! Here's to 2026!!! We put together some of our favorite 2025 moments for you guyz. Please enjoy. God Bless. See you next year! haha thank you PROSECUTE for the wubs Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The Wild Wild West.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Hey guys, Happy New Year. We're here, um, kind of an off week, but figured we'd hit you guys with a little best of 2025. We've got some great stuff, man, some good clips lined up. Before we get into that, I just want to say again, Happy New Year. Thanks for watching. We are entering the, uh, unfortunately, that kind of podcast crucible again. Shane is going to be gone filming for a little bit. Uh, but that's nothing to get glum about. We're going to be jam packed with super hot guests and a lot of good times. It'll probably make the next year's best of 2026. We'll see. Um, however, you know, I mean, let's just recap. What would happen in 2026, man? Fucking, you know, we got a lot of wars going on. There's that. We have a lot of wars.

• 0:44Matt McCusker?

  Um, which, you know, not good. It's not good. There's been Israel, Palestine, which I believe is a ceasefire. So shout out to politicians for the ceasefire on that. And, uh, also Russia, Ukraine, maybe that'll come to an end and hopefully not Venezuela, but you know, I'm bright siding it. It's like, look, guys were getting busy. All right. Guys were doing stuff. No one was sitting on their ass this year. People were unfortunately fighting and killing hundreds of thousands of people, but, you know, that's maybe next year we can just kind of like do other stuff instead, but keep that same can do, uh, fire and spirit. But guys, I didn't, I didn't even come here to talk about war. I'm just recapping the year 2025 wars. Okay. Fair enough.

• 1:27Matt McCusker?

  Um, what else happened? What else happened this year? Big things that happened. We had, uh, you know, Donald Trump is still the president and we'll see, man. I think, I think his sizzle is starting to kind of fade. It's like, you know, he, the quiet piggy, that was definitely him pushing himself up there in the headlines. Aside from that, it's like, DJT is not hitting as hard as he used to. I think we're finally used to him. So, he's got, I don't know, a couple more years left and I don't know. I think, I think we're, we're on the cusp and I'm again, I'm just bright siding New Year's time horizon. I think we're on the cusp

• 2:05Matt McCusker?

  of finally as a country stepping out from under, uh, Trump's shadow, which has really, you know, if you love him or hate him, whatever, but he has loomed over this country for a decade. As long as this podcast has been going on, which is crazy. 10 years, Trump has been just, you know, a central fixture in the news. And I think he's gonna fade, man. And it's like, as much as people love him or hate him, it's like, I honestly don't know what it's gonna be like without the guy. Cause in my opinion is like, are we gonna get like a Trump 2.0? Or, you know, what are we gonna get? We don't know. I'm excited. I can't wait to find out in 2028. But we'll have to wait for two more New Years to find that out. So we'll see about that. Stay tuned for two more years.

• 2:49Matt McCusker?

  In other news, we also have AI is booming right now. And, uh, whoa, boy, another hotbed of controversy as well. AI, apparently it's getting better. There's billions, maybe even trillions of dollars being spent on AI research. And, you know, again, another thing people love, people hate. My thing is if you're worried about AI coming and taking your job, I don't, you hear all this all the time. It's like, well, what if AI takes my job? What am I gonna do then? It's like, dude, let it take your job. There's no shame in a machine built by billionaires taking your job from you. What do you, you think you're gonna, you're not gonna do better than that. It's like,

• 3:31Matt McCusker?

  let it have your job. But you'll just be like, let the state figure out your life for you. You know, if you, if, if I'm saying if AI takes your job, that is not, that's nothing to stay awake at night about being like, oh, it's like, there's nothing you can do. Like, you just let it come take your job. And it's also like, most, most of the jobs it would take would probably be like office jobs, which are mostly fake jobs anyway. So why would you worry about a machine built by billionaires taking a fake job from you? You're not even really working. Let it have your fake job. Just give it, say, hey, here you go, computer. You can have my job. I'm gonna go outside now.

• 4:12Matt McCusker?

  And now you go from sitting like a fat ghost in an office to now you're outside. You get the sunlight on you. And now you gotta go find food, which in my opinion is much more exciting than sitting in front of a computer pretending to work in front of pictures of your kids. But imagine if those kids could actually see you pretending to have a job to pay for them. That's fucking embarrassing, dude. Let the machines have your job. Say, hey, machines, come and get it. Let them come in and take it. Now you're on the outside. You gotta go find food. And here's my thing. Here's our, well, how the fuck am I gonna find food? It's like, I don't know. But if, if the AI came and took my job and like all of my work friends' job and, you know, unfortunately, even my work wives' jobs as well.

• 4:55Matt McCusker?

  I'd start a militia, you know, you start a peaceful militia, obviously, but it's like you go from sitting on your ass in an office every day with that just grovelling to your fucking boss, hoping they give you a little promotion and it's fucking hell. Let the computer wipe that out. Now you're outside, you're doing pushups, you're doing burpees, you and your friends can set up a little barbed wire crawl space, you can crawl through, do drills. If you get like a few hundred people to do military drills in your front yard with you, I, my prediction is the government will start giving you food because they'll be like, hey, guys, just here, here's some food. And you don't have to be like, you know, I'm not saying become like a terrorist cell. That is not what I'm saying at all. We don't need any more of that. I'm saying do pushups in your front yard with all of your office friends.

• 5:40Matt McCusker?

  You guys are all in the office. Now you're in front yard, you're working, you're maybe digging little trenches and just kind of like, I don't know, just fucking find food. It'd be so much more fun to go and find food than sit in an office, you know, that's if AI takes your job. That's my whole point. So don't worry about that. We had AI, we had endless wars. And what else do we have? I don't know. I think they cloned, they didn't clone, they made a false embryo in a, or a false womb in Australia. So science is going. You know, we have, we have a false womb for a kangaroo to be born in. That's nice. Why don't we take it to one of these beautiful clips? Hold on, guys. Check this out. I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 6:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 6:27Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 6:28Speaker 02

  No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 6:40Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 6:44Matt McCusker?

  Joke world. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 6:50Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You can fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try to sleep and you go.

• 7:04Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. That was hilarious. And now we're back to the special New Year's edition. Guys, we talked about, we recapped 2026, you know, whatever, or 2025. I'm sorry about that. Sorry, sponsors. Recap 2025. I don't know, man. Like, what else is out there? Recently, I actually just discovered that there's a thing that women experience. It's called a false pregnancy syndrome, where a woman will convince herself that she's pregnant to the point where her breasts start to lactate and her belly expands as if there were a child inside of it. There was recently a case, it was this year, actually, shout out 2025. There was a case this year of a widow. Her husband had died.

• 7:47Matt McCusker?

  She was an old lady going through menopause and her husband unfortunately died. And somehow her body convinced her that she was pregnant. So she, her breasts swelled with milk, her stomach started sticking out. And she even thought she felt kicks. And the lady went to the doctor to be like, what the hell? This is a miracle. Maybe it's my dead husband being reincarnated in my old withered womb. And turns out she went to the doctor and she just, her stomach was full of gas and it was moving around her stomach, but she, thinking those were baby kicks, stimulated her milk glands somehow to produce milk for this baby that didn't exist. And the doctor had to tell her like, no, you just have a bunch of farts. You don't have a child. You have a bunch of farts in your stomach and your husband's dead.

• 8:32Matt McCusker?

  Get over it. You're not pregnant, you old bitch. Go home. And like, damn, that person for sure is probably like, I can't wait till 2025 is over. 2025 is kicking my ass. I missed my husband so much that I became fake pregnant and farted in the ER. Just to be told that I don't have a baby, I just have a big fart in my stomach.

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. Poor lady.

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• 9:05Matt McCusker?

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• 9:26Matt McCusker?

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• 9:57Speaker 02

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• 9:58Matt McCusker?

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• 10:54Matt McCusker?

  And they also have this thing too called Kuwait Syndrome where guys now, you know, we got, we talked about the girls, now it's guys' time. Guys, apparently, I've never met a guy like this, but apparently it's a real thing where when a woman becomes pregnant, the man starts to like biologically mimic some of the pregnancy response. And the women, like for instance, when a woman gets pregnant, there's this thing called nesting, where like when they're pregnant, they'll go around, it's like a real instinct. They'll go around and start like setting up the house. Like they organize the house like a bird with a bird's nest. They'll start like moving stuff, redoing the closets. They get like bins and they start fucking putting things in bins. You know, stuff like that and um.

• 11:35Matt McCusker?

  And guys now apparently will like, or they're saying they'll start mimicking those responses, even to the point where the guys will gain weight. Some of the guys even claim they feel a baby kicking in their belly, which is like, dude, don't, first of all, it's definitely gas. Second of all, never, that's, even if you're mimicking your wife's pregnancy response, never say that out loud, dude. Just fucking, just, it's not, first of all, it's not real. And second of all, like dude, don't, never be like, I think I'm pregnant too. They don't respect that. Just be like, nah, I'm not even, if anything, I'm just like harder than ever looking at that fucking baby in your belly. That's something women can respect, honestly. Don't tell them like, my nipples are kind of sensitive too. Dude, that's fucking disgusting.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  Take it to the grave, man. If your wife's pregnant and you're like, I think I'm sort of pregnant. Don't do that, man. Got these guys going to the doctor. It's called Kuwait syndrome, which is like, oh, it's fucking brutal. I'd rather have a guy hold me down and finger my butt and tell someone about that, than come up to my friends and be like, you know, I started actually mimicking my wife's pregnancy symptoms as well, you know, just, don't dude, don't talk about that to anybody. Keep that to yourself. All right? Like, oh, my, my breasts are actually a little swollen. Dudes will gain weight a lot. There's guys waking up with morning sickness. It's like, dude, what the, it's not, you're just, your stomach hurts. Stop pretending you have a fucking baby. I don't know why.

• 13:02Matt McCusker?

  People, guys and girls are like, are having fake pregnancies. It's like, just stop, man. It's fucking, that's really weird and it's really unbecoming of a man to try to get in on pregnancy glory. That's all I'm saying.

• 13:18Matt McCusker?

  It's not, it's not your stuff. Again, just to recap, I would rather have a guy hold me down, whether he, you know, pinned me down by my arms on top of me, or just kind of like knocked me over like a stone cold stunner, came around my back and just started fucking blasting my butt with his, I don't know, however he gets it, he gets it. Maybe we're just both lying on our side. He trips me. We're like lying on our side and like on some side, uh, side doggy or whatever. I don't know. Guys, let's take it to a clit.

• 13:48Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 13:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 13:55Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 14:08Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 14:13Matt McCusker?

  Joke world. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 14:18Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You can fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try to sleep and you go.

• 14:32Matt McCusker?

  All right, guys, that was something else. Hey, let me tell you guys about something. On the way here, right? I'm coming to my office. I'm like, you know, driving peacefully. I can't wait to do this Best of 2025 compilation for, you know, the fans out there. They're gonna love this. Can't wait. As I'm driving, I also got a Christmas present from my brother. Shout out Billy. I got a nice Stratocaster. Yeah, Stratocaster. No, Telecaster, my bad. And so, yeah, I'm driving my Telecaster, my new Princeton Reverb amp that I went and got from Guitar Center. Shout out to the guys down at Guitar Center. That's really, dude, I'm not trying to act like the man, but I know when I walk into a Guitar Center,

• 15:14Matt McCusker?

  there's my, my true core fans. Every time I go into a guitar store, Sam Ash Guitar Center, it's nothing but the bros, dude. Nothing but the bros. Always hook it up. Thank you, guys. And, um, yeah, so that was nice. Walked in there. And I got my Princeton Reverb amp, which is what Billy told me to get. And so, you know, I'm driving. It was at my house. I'm driving it to my office so I could have it here in my creative workspace. And, and I'm driving it. So I had to drive kind of slow because I have an amp, a pretty big amp. It's sitting on my, uh, my seat. I don't want to like, hit my brakes really hard because, you know, it's like a tube amp. They explained to me and they can brake easy. So I'm like, all right, let me drive carefully. So I'm coming to a four-way stop sign on the way to my creative workspace for my living space and, um,

• 15:56Matt McCusker?

  So I'm driving here and I hit the brakes like coming up to the stop sign slow because I didn't want to jam them and have it fall over and you know, break one of those tubes. So I'm like kind of easing on the brake and meanwhile, uh, at the intersection like across from me, there was an old man in a Subaru. And he, or no, he was coming like perpendicular. So he was this way. So I came to a stop like too slow for his liking. And I'd like pulled up to an intersection with an old man, a Subaru, giving me the stank eye. And I don't know what it was about that, but it just like, I, you know, I was already, it's been the holidays. I'm, I'm like, me and my wife and kids are just fucking crammed in the house. It's all day, non-stop, blah, blah, blah. So I'm, I'm a little cranky and I'm a little bit cranky. Obviously I'm, I'm stoked to come here and do the best of 2025, but like,

• 16:40Matt McCusker?

  a little cranky, man. I'm, I'm a little fired up and I, and I, I take a, taking a 40 plus vitamin that has Tonga Nalies. So my tea is kind of going nuts and like, I pull up to this intersection with this old man in a Subaru, looking at me like he's about to beat my ass. And I just, like, he was giving me this. He was going like, sitting there. He's just going like, I pull up to this guy just going, and I fucking look at him like, what the fuck are you gonna do? And I literally out my window, I said, what the fuck are you gonna do, old man? You bitch ass Subaru. I'll fuck you up in that fucking Subaru. And I was like, that's not me. I'm leaving that me behind in 2025 because I really for a second was hoping that the old man would get out of the Subaru.

• 17:22Matt McCusker?

  And I would do, I would literally fucking bash his head into the winch. I would have killed this guy. I know it's disgusting. I don't want to, I'm not trying to do that kind of shit in 2026, but like for a second I was like, dude, if this old man gets out of the Subaru, I'm not saying I'm the toughest guy in the world, but an old man in a Subaru, in Austin, dude, I could British Bulldog his head right through the fucking passenger window easily. I, I would have left this guy in a bloody discarded heap on the side. I would have drove over his, his concussed body. I was so fucking angry.

• 17:57Matt McCusker?

  But he drove off and uh, you know, I calmed down, cooled off, made it to my creative workspace and uh,

• 18:04Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, man. It was just something about that old man in a Subaru flexed it on me. I'm like, bro, like, again, I'm not the toughest guy in the world. I'm not out here looking to fight people, but like, an old man in a Subaru just giving me the nastiest look. And all I, what I wanted to tell him was like, dude, I have a fucking tube amp in the back of my CRV. If this falls over, it's gonna be pretty costly, costly to repair this and all I'm doing is braking slowly, taking my time to get to the stop sign. And you're looking at me like I had already run it. You're charging me of a crime I didn't even commit. And now you're looking like you want to fight. It's like, I'll fucking fight you right now, dude. 2025, leave this shit behind. We'll both move on. Maybe you won't make it to 2026.

• 18:44Matt McCusker?

  It was a pure lib spaz. That's all it was. And again, I'm not, I'm not, you know, whatever about politics. We're done with those, but like, an old man lib in a Subaru probably has 47 potted plants in front. Libs, old libs love putting 97 potted plants in front of their fucking houses. It's another thing, man. Get them out of the fucking sidewalk. I'm trying to walk. Fucking put them in your backyard. You don't need 40 fucking fern plants outside of your house. Nobody gives a shit. It's 40 fern plants of Ruth Bader Ginsburg sticker on your window. Get a fucking garden. Put it in your backyard. Put those plants. You have a backyard. I know the layout of the whole neighborhood. Put them in your fucking backyard. Don't have 40 potted plants and drive around your Subaru,

• 19:28Matt McCusker?

  giving everyone the stank face because you clearly see,

• 19:33Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dare I say a silver fox alpha coming. You know, I have a Princeton reverb in the back of my CRV. You want me to break a fucking tube and I'm like, let me just come to an easy stop. And you're going, fuck you. I'm like, excuse me, sir? Fucking excuse me? Or anyway, guys. That's not good.

• 19:52Matt McCusker?

  Guys, let's go to a fucking clip. That story sucked.

• 19:57Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 20:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 20:05Speaker 02

  No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 20:17Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 20:22Matt McCusker?

  Joke world. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the new year's episode.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You can fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try to sleep and you go.

• 20:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. We're back, dude. Also, guys, please make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. And when you comment, it really helps the algorithm. It just boosts us into the algorithm and makes us more visible. So more people can access this kind of content you love and know and love. So, all right, so we talked about the old man and the Subaru. And it's like, I've already moved past it, man. I forgave him instantly. It's just, you know, it's just, god damn it, I hate that face when you pull up and someone goes,

• 21:08Matt McCusker?

  it's like, how dare you question my, you don't even know what the fuck I'm doing, dude. Acting like I'm, I should, I should have just fucking veered my car, ran it, like, no, you go ahead. And this went, fucking crashed his Subaru. Fucking asshole. Anyway, guys, enough about that. What else I want to talk about? Also, I played basketball yesterday, first time, and man, I can't remember. It's been a long time. But as you know, I, I've been training, man. Look, I don't talk about my training that much, but I've been training pretty intensely. And, you know, so I'm, I'm just up at the basketball court yesterday. It's a little cold, a little windy, not ideal conditions for, you know, an outdoor basketball court. But my goal this year in 2026 is to become something of like a street ball legend

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  in my white and Asian neighborhood, which I honestly think I could, man. I was up there yesterday, shooting around on a windy day, just totally stroking myself, like, I don't even know why, just being like, of course, I'm the only person out here shooting on a windy, cold day. Just different. Every car that would drive by in my head, I'm like, this is the hottest housewife possible. I'm going between my legs. I'm shooting the three. I'm airballing. I'm like, fuck, all right. Let me just, you know, maybe she didn't see that. It was, it was pretty pathetic display now that I'm saying it out loud, but I'm out there and, you know, I'm shooting around. I'm getting warmed up and, uh, you know, I got the Apple Watch on, burning a surprising amount of calories. And I'm like, this is, you know, this is not a bad little workout, man. I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to like, you know, get to, uh,

• 22:36Matt McCusker?

  really know this court, kind of feel these rims out so that, you know, I can become a street ball legend just up there all the time. And I'm playing, shooting around, and these two young whippersnappers, these two kids come up. High school, I didn't realize they're in high school, they're seniors in high school. Came up, I see him shooting around and I'm like, and you know, again, nothing against them, they just weren't really that good at all. And I was like bingo. So I'm gonna play these kids in 21, just fucking demolish them, go as hard as I fucking can. Cause I'm finally, and again, I've, I've, I've always like, I remember being young and seeing the old man on the basketball court. And even back then, I'd wonder like, I had enough weird, I don't know, foresight or curiosity to be like, it's gotta be crazy playing basketball as like an old guy.

• 23:19Matt McCusker?

  And I'm finally like, yesterday absolutely confirmed it, I'm finally the old man at the basketball court. Dude, it felt kind of, it's everything I thought it would be, put it that way. I've always wondered like, what's that like? Dude, it's literally, it's, it can't get better. So I'm sitting there, I'm shooting around. I see the young kids, I let them warm up, I'm not gonna fucking, I know, I'm not gonna be all warmed up 20 minutes in, shooting around, running back and forth, full court really going behind my back whenever a Volvo passed me, just hoping it was like a super hot housewife with their kids, be like, goddamn. Behind my back, through the legs, pulling up threes dude, just fucking raining them and um, see these kids, let them get warmed up. And uh, you know, and again, I'm thinking, I'm going, I should ask them to play 21. I do this a lot. This is something I'm getting away from in 2026, but in 2025,

• 24:02Matt McCusker?

  I'll like wanna ask, they're fucking kids, I wanna play basketball with them. Takes me like 10 minutes to work up the gumption to be like, hey, you kids wanna play some 21? So I'm like, you know, I'm sitting there. I'm shooting around, it was like a, my, my, my mind like hijacked my body, I didn't even know what I was doing. I was like, you guys wanna play some 21? I just yelled it across the court. And I just, they just both look at me like, uh, and like, we don't know how to play that. And I'm like, oh, here, and I gave them the rules. It's, it's pretty much like one on two when you have the ball. And then if you make it, you go to the foul line, shoot, you know, from the, wherever is a two, if you shoot from the three, that's a three foul, foul, foul shots are one point. If you make three foul shots in a row, it's your ball and you get to go again. Started playing 21 and um, I don't think, here's, here's the thing, this is the joy of being the old man at the basketball court.

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  Those kids were playing. I wasn't playing. I was like, I was like fighting time and death itself. When you're an old man at the basketball court, you're battling time. The kids are like, oh, we're playing each other. It doesn't matter who I'm playing against. I'm raging against my mortality, playing these kids on the basketball court. I went so, so fucking hard on these kids. I, I feel bad about looking back on it. I was like, I shouldn't have done that. I went so fucking hard, driving. There was one point, again, this is where my training comes in. You think like, oh, why should I train? I'm 40 years old. I'll tell you why I should train, you know, lift weights and do all that shit. There was one point, I'm driving in, it's two on one, obviously, it's the nature of the game of 21.

• 25:29Matt McCusker?

  I'm going to lay it up. Both of them fail me. And again, I'm not bragging, this is just what happened. Both of them failed me. I lifted both children up on my arm and laid it up, no problem. And it took everything in me not to look them in the face and go, fuck! You fucking like that, you little fuck! I didn't. I said, oh, man, oh, don't worry about it. Went to the point, you know, I, I might have done a little in one, but whatever. I was fucking, you would have thought I got shot out of a volcano. Just soaring through the air with children on my arm. These were fucking high school seniors. Hold on, maybe, well, you know, my head, I might be dramatizing a little bit, but it was like, I felt them try to pull me down and I just fucking ripped through these children and laid

• 26:12Matt McCusker?

  it up, made it in one. And God, I ended up winning. Again, it's not about that. If I lost, whatever, but I did win by a lot. And, um, no, actually, that little, one little kid started coming back. I started getting nervous. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this. Oh, I like this. I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mixes great. Doesn't taste like a fistfight. Pack is travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came

• 26:53Matt McCusker?

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• 27:07Matt McCusker?

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• 27:27Speaker 02

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• 27:28Matt McCusker?

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• 27:44Matt McCusker?

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• 28:04Speaker 02

  Incredible.

• 28:05Matt McCusker?

  But I was like wildly and completely out of breath. And after I finally won, I got to, I got to 21. I think the second place kid had like, he was creeping on me. He had like 15. So he was, I had a sizable lead for a while and I just gassed. And I eventually got it back to kinda, you know, it was pretty windy. So my, my jump shot was getting taken by the wind as well as me missing. So I was kinda just like pulling up like four feet away and hitting little like floaters. So I finally, I finally win and I'm completely out of breath. I'm shattered. Dude, my Apple watch, I don't know if you track, you know, your fucking calories you burn. Dude, I burnt 668 calories in less than an hour, which go test it for yourself.

• 28:50Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's really, that's, that's a lot. Like if you do a standard hour, 20 minute lifting thing, you might burn like 350, 400. I burned 668 on these kids. 668 calories of megawatts, or whatever the fuck they are, fucking fat molecules exploding in my body to just defeat these children. Again, wasn't even about them. I'm battling fucking time, death, my body failing. I could feel like my ankles, like, ah, fuck, like everything hurts the whole time. And I beat these kids and um. And I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I went and got my ball and I was like, thanks for playing guys. And I was like, oh man, uh, I'm turning 40 this year, guys.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  And they just both looked at me like, oh, whoa, that's cool. And I was like, yeah, they're like, wow, man, that was, uh, you played pretty good. And I was like, thanks, guys. Well, I'll see you up here again. And, uh, I don't know why I just like told these children I was 40. It was a very, it reminds me of the time when me and my cousin sold lemonade at the bottom of our, we had a shared driveway. And, uh, we like a mailman pulled over, bought lemonade off us and just told us his like life story, all of his troubles. Now I'm like, yeah, I get it, man. Something about it, man. You just want to like, I don't know, it's, it's, it's a shame. You get such a bad rap for hanging out with kids. Cause honestly, if I, and again, it's like, I'm not like that, like, like any of that funny stuff, but like, I don't know, man.

• 30:18Matt McCusker?

  I wouldn't mind chilling with kids if I'm being honest. Like I, I feel weird around adults. I do, if I'm like at a party with adults, it's like, eh, I don't know. But if like, dude, if you could just drop me at like,

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  you know, like a 12 year olds, I don't know, 12 year olds birthday party. I would for real vibe so hard with like 12, 14, 17 year old kids. And just like, you know, play flag football, do a slip and slide. You know, if we got to wrestle, whatever, I would, I would wrestle them on my knees to be fair, but like, I don't know. I, I like no pedo on me. I'm just like, it's so, it was so fun just fucking balling out with these kids yesterday. And, uh, you know, I, I hope I see him again on the court. I hope I ignited a little fire in their bellies. Cause I mean, dude, if I was, if I was a high school senior and some 40 year old was giving me the motherfucking business. And I, I, I'll be honest, I could have been a lot more physical, but I let them taste it every now and again. I would drive and be like, okay, you want to get, mm, how you fucking like that?

• 31:14Matt McCusker?

  But I did my best not to just try to like physically overpower, cause that's, you know, it's kind of coward shit. I'm not sitting here tooting my own horn, but I'm stronger than a couple of kids. But like, they did try to hold me down from jumping and I leapt through the air with them holding on to me. And I'll never forget that, that was so nice, dude, just to go home. Whew, that was a nice feeling, but guys, let's check out one of these fucking clips. What do you say? Best of 2025. I didn't know you got, you were that drunk, we were on the plane together.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 31:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 31:45Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 31:46Speaker 02

  No, cause if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 31:58Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 32:03Matt McCusker?

  Joke world. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 32:08Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You can fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try to sleep and you go.

• 32:22Matt McCusker?

  All right, guys, and we're back. Um, big year 2025. Uh, what else we had? We, we talked about some of the geopolitical stuff. Also, the comedy world. Bit of a hotbed, a lot of turmoil going around the comedy world. A lot of, a lot of comedian infighting. Um, which I'll say, and one thing I'm, I'm grateful for in 2025 is to not, uh, not have gotten caught up in any of that kind of turmoil. And kind of just like, this guy, that guy. It's like, man, I feel like a younger me could have. You know, because you see that, that stuff gets a lot of attention. And unfortunately, you know, I am in the business of fucking eyeball flickers myself, and it's, it's tempting to be like, you know who I fucking hate?

• 33:05Matt McCusker?

  And, you know, and all that stuff. But a lot of that stuff going on, man, it's been a, there's like comedian versus comedian. There's YouTuber versus comedian. There's comedian versus YouTuber. And it's like, this endless swirl of just kind of negativity that we can't fucking keep our eyes off. And I've said it before, Cat Williams, I mean, he's, you know, obviously, this is older than him. It predates Cat Williams and probably stand-up comedy itself, but like, he blew the lid off the jar when he, he's fucking spilled the tea. It was, it was a, that was at 2024, 2025? I don't know. I, I, let's, I'm gonna put that in 2020, in the 2025 bucket, because that couldn't have been more than a year ago. That seems like that was so 2025. That is not so 2024.

• 33:47Matt McCusker?

  But I think, man, we might have even like started the year. That might have been like the.

• 33:54Matt McCusker?

  Dude, we started 2025 because it was the Will Smith slap. That was so, that was 2024. The thing that finally stopped that was the Cat Williams tea. That set the tone for 2025. And dude, I don't think we've ever recovered. That got 30 zillion views on the Shannon Sharp podcast. Um, which, you know, kind of launched his podcast and then Shannon Sharp had a bit of a strange year as well. A lot of sexual stuff. And, uh, I think he's, that's crazy. It's crazy to get so much pussy that Disney's like, dude, we gotta cut ties. That's way too much pussy, huh? We're fucking, you're killing it right now. He got so much pussy that Disney was like, like he's getting so much pussy that he's like hitting his phone. You know, when you fake call somebody or you like accidentally pocket dial?

• 34:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. It's just usually you just like walking through the grocery store, like fumbling your keys in your pocket. Shannon Sharp's getting so much pussy that when his phone bumps to like, call somebody or go live, which was suspicious. It's just him digging out a lady. I mean, like, oh, god damn. Oh, Shannon Sharp got so much pussy in 2025 that Disney dropped him and I think he's fine. But my whole point was Cat Williams on the podcast blew lid off it. And I don't, I don't know if it was that or what, but there, I, I did start to see that show. I saw people come on that show trying to get their Cat Williams moment where people are trying to like, you know, give the sensational take and like this guy, that guy, blah, blah, blah, blah. And no one ever, you know, it was lightning in a bottle. No one ever recaptured the Cat fucking crack off on the tea.

• 35:24Matt McCusker?

  But then I, I noticed, you know, there was a lot of other little comedian beefs and, you know, this and that. And a lot of people just like, even when I meet people who don't, don't do comedy, they're always asking me like, you know, what's this guy like? And who's your favorite? Who don't you like? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I, I gotta say, man, like, I do find it unfortunate that there is this fascination with comedians as like, I, like any sense, like they're, this guy's a piece of shit because they did this. This guy's like the best because it's like, dude, comedians for real are. They're just like, I don't know, they're like fucking mostly, myself included, they're just like theater dorks. They're like a strain of theater dork that it's like, yeah, you didn't go full theater dork and do like musicals, but that's in you. That's your thing.

• 36:08Matt McCusker?

  And it just like, whatever that is, has gotten mutated to where now you do stand up instead of like musicals. But it's like, you're kind of the same guy as like a musical theater dork. You just, you know, you wear a leather jacket and smoke and stay up late and you're like, I'm a fucking comic. You'd never understand my life. But you're a theater dork, man. And I, it's just so funny to have all this attention, trying to dissect comedians and be like, this is what they're really thinking. This, it's like, in 2025, I get it. But for 2026, it's like, dude, this is, for real, you have to look at every comedian, like, this is what it's like. When people like comment and want to be like, this guy said this, and they're a fucking hypocrite, and I'll no longer support. Look, man, I hate to break it to you, but it's like, it'd be like if you watched the Special Olympics, and you're like, what the

• 36:52Matt McCusker?

  hell? That guy's not even, it's like, yeah, dude, they're retarded. Just let them swim, all right? Just fucking let them swim, high five them. And if you don't like it, just turn it off. You don't watch the Special Olympics and be like, what the fuck, man? This guy's not even, that's not how you do the backstroke. Yeah, dude, his fuck, he's missing a leg, dude, all right? This guy's not all there. Let him do his thing. If you don't like it, tune it out. But it's like, you're, you're barking up a fucking burnt down tree, man. You're not gonna get anywhere by tracking them thoughts and opinions of comed- they flitter and fly around. You're, this is a guy panicking, saying whatever it is, that'll just get him through another hour of the week, or the show, or whatever,

• 37:33Matt McCusker?

  so he can sell fucking digital picture frames. Don't look into it that much. That's all I'm saying. It's like watching the fucking Special Olympics, or, you know, WNBA, or whatever. Let's fire up a clip, guys. Go to it. Like, comment, and subscribe. This episode is brought to you by PrizePicks. Trying something new can be intimidating, whether it's building a new routine or making your first team pick, but when it clicks, when you're right, it feels incredible. On PrizePicks, it's good to be right. With high-pressure playoff matchups every weekend and elite hoops actions almost every night, the action never stops. And PrizePicks lets you take control. Now with team picks, there's even more on the app to choose from.

• 38:18Matt McCusker?

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• 39:02Matt McCusker?

  you play your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCHED to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePicks, it's good to be right. Hey guys, we're back. Um, all right, so we're back here. Classic, we never get sold. Um, what else? You know what I want to talk about today? The, uh, I was reading about the Soviet calendar back under Stalin when they eliminated all of the days of the week, like they still had like the months and stuff, but instead of the days of the week, they did a five-day, uh, work week where they took away like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and replaced the days of the week. This was, you know, Soviets, the Soviet Union under Stalin. They replaced the days of the week with like, fuck it, like instead of Monday, it would just be like.

• 39:47Matt McCusker?

  Loaf of bread. Tuesday was star, then Wednesday was hammer and sickle. Uh, Thursday was just like burlap sack and then Friday, I swear to God, Friday was like, it was called, uh, pointed wool military cap. That was your Friday and what they did, I swear to God, look it up. And what they did was it was this five day work week and the idea was for the machines to never stop. They were like, hey, man, if we want to make this dream come true, we, we can't be like all taking off on Saturday and Sunday and having the machine stop. We gotta keep this, you know, the industrialization or whatever, just fucking plugging along. So they purposely gave like wives and husbands and brothers and sisters and families

• 40:31Matt McCusker?

  different days off. So like if your day off, you didn't have like a weekend, you would just work all the time. It was never ending shift work. And then let's say like, uh, on like, you know, loaf of bread day, you were given off, but your wife was off on woolen military cap day. And for like a couple of years, everyone just lived this weird existence where the, the calendar was perfect, purposely stripped from like any religious connotation. They didn't want Sunday because that like, you know, Sunday technically was about God and resting and that puts something above the state. So they took all that stuff away. For a couple of years, no one got to really even see each other. The, all of the holidays were stripped out. They, they would give you a day off for like

• 41:12Matt McCusker?

  the day of fucking, the day Lenin was born. I don't know, some bullshit, but he might've came later. I don't even know. But my whole point is they had this thing where they tried to genuinely replace the calendar for several years, several years. And it's just, everyone is fucking miserable. No one could see anybody. You would have off and no one else you really knew would have off. You would just sit there, your whole, you'd just sit by yourself alone on your day off. And eventually what happened was the machines from never like getting to stop basically and like cool down, the machines all started to falter and break. And eventually the machines started getting fucked up. So the Soviet government was like, all right, guys, we're gonna let you see your loved ones again. And they, um, they allowed people to start seeing each other and then.

• 41:57Matt McCusker?

  You know, it's kind of fake as hell. You know what I mean? They're like, we see you. We heard you, but it was just the machines collapsed. That's so sad that like they like pretty much dehumanize their population. Just to have the machines never stop producing crap, which is funny because I thought communism was more about like chilling. Just like kicking up, you know, kicking with the homies and uh, no, it's just all about the machines and the machines collapsed and uh, then they got to go back to the standard Gregorian calendar. So I don't know, pretty chill, I guess. But then the whole fucking society collapsed after that, shortly after and uh, I don't know. Now it's Russia's just fucking Russia fighting. I guess, you know, I guess from Russia. Ah, I don't think they had a good year at all. A lot of people died, so.

• 42:42Matt McCusker?

  A million, they say. A million fucking people? Geez Louise.

• 42:48Matt McCusker?

  That would piss me off if I was Russian, like that wasn't even true. Someone was just talking mess, being like, you know, like a million guys died in Russia and I'm like, no, we fucking didn't. Probably it. You think it's a million?

• 42:59Matt McCusker?

  I I'm under the impression that Russia's winning the war. But I, look, let's not get bogged down in 2025 conflicts, guys. I just thought that was cool. The idea of just like trying to as a government. Upend time itself to be like, we're in charge of how you view time. And it's like, what a fucking crazy thing to do. It's just so crazy to get that into politics. I I was recently, we had a nice little game night, you know, me, my wife, some other couples. And uh, someone there found out that I had never voted before ever, uh, until like my wife dragged me to do it this year. And uh, they were, they were like, they had a pretty serious, like, that's like fucked up. You've never voted. And it's like, look, if you want to vote, fucking vote. But like this whole idea.

• 43:45Matt McCusker?

  That like you can somehow embed. Politics into like your identity and the core of your being. I don't know, dude. It's like, it's fucking weird. Just don't, just fucking don't do it. The whole point of the government is to make sure there's like. Food and roads so you can go and do the stuff you need to do to get food. Being into that, it's, it's like being fucking stoked on the DMV. That's the government. It's the fucking DMV. It's the capital. And it's just like all of the weird human beings were like, I represent that. And it's like. Okay dude, like cool, go do that. I'm glad you do that. But all these people thinking they can like wrap themselves up in like any a political identity left and right. It's like,

• 44:31Matt McCusker?

  oh man, I hope that stuff falls by the wayside soon because it is fucking so unbelievably lame to just get into that. I don't know. People ask, you never voted. It's like, yeah, because I've never, every single president I've seen, I've been like, this person's a freak. You know, and it's like, I guess I'm kind of a freak, but not like that, man. If I was, if I was president, I don't know, I would go classic, like school president style soda machines everywhere. That's probably why we're in debt. That's probably why we're in debt. We're in debt. I don't know. What's the debt? Like 90 trillion dollars? It just keeps growing and growing. The first thing I would do as president is say, hey, guys,

• 45:16Matt McCusker?

  we've been in debt long enough. Let's cancel the debt. They could do that. I think they could do that. And they don't. So it's like, I'm not voting for anyone until they say, hey, guys, you know that 90 trillion dollars we're in debt? Let's just say fuck it. I'm the government. The debt is to the, no, it's probably to other countries. Whatever. Just call the other countries and be like, dude, are you really gonna fucking hold me to the fire on this, man? 90 trillion? Can we just forget about this? Can we just all chill, please? It's fucking so lame.

• 45:49Matt McCusker?

  40 trillion? Yeah, 40 trillion dollars. The interest on that every year is kind of be, there's no way. Once you're, once you're in a loan setup for 40 trillion dollars, like what is that? If I'm guessing these people who own this debt are getting at least 3%. So let's, let's do, let's, let's see if we ever can get out of this because I don't, I honestly don't think we can. So here we go. So we have, I don't even know if my calculator, I gotta hold it sideways. These are big dog numbers here. Hold on, we're entering big dog numbers. 40, one, two, three. Okay, 40,000, one, two, three. Uh, 40 million, one, two, three. 40 Billy.

• 46:28Matt McCusker?

  Okay, I'm at 40 trillion dollars. Let's go times point oh three. Let's, let's say we're doing 3% interest. Huh? Let's see. 3% interest uh equals.

• 46:44Matt McCusker?

  Okay, we, the interest we're accruing on forty trillion dollars of debt is 1.2 trillion dollars a year. We're never getting out of this. They got, this is embarrassing dude. 1.2 trillion dollars and you're gonna have a guy every four years be like, I'll tell you what, I'm an old fashioned kinda guy and I get it. Shut the fuck up. Every year, we owe one, the debt grows. If we just pay our payments, the minimum, we pay the minimum, which we probably do, 1.2 million more dol- 1.2 trillion more dollars. So you know, next time someone's gonna be like, well, you should vote. It's like, dude, really, get the debt down, then I'll fucking think about it, alright?

• 47:27Matt McCusker?

  Otherwise, what am I vote? It's a fucking bullshit puppet show unless we can get out of. I'm embarrassed. Every time I travel to another country, it's all I can think about. I just go, fuck, we're really in the hole for forty trill?

• 47:41Matt McCusker?

  Is that really, that's 3%, 1.1.2 would be 3% of forty trill. Dude.

• 47:50Matt McCusker?

  How much? Cheers.

• 47:55Matt McCusker?

  Oh, and how? How does it, fuck, I've said this forever. If you're in, if you're in charge of running any enterprise. And if you fell into, let's just say you're in a company and you fell into one billion dollars of debt. You would think people would start looking around and go, well, hold on a second here. We are one billion dollars in debt. And no one's gonna stop at, we were forty trillion dollars in debt. Once we hit a trillion. You're telling me nobody in this highly capable, like, million person machine turned and went, hmm.

• 48:34Matt McCusker?

  We gotta figure out how to get, and if they didn't, it tells me the debt is just a contrived thing that's totally meaningless anyway. Cause you always hear that, you're like, well, you know, your grandkids are gonna be, you know, and 350 million people with a forty trillion dollars. Our great grandkids are gonna owe twenty bazillion dollars and they're, it's like, what the fuck? No, they're not. They're never gonna, like, it makes absolutely zero sense to say that's gonna stop us in any way, shape or form. Unless it's like, all, does our tax money go to paying the debt? I have no fucking clue. All I'm saying is when AI takes your job, right? Forget about the debt. At that, at that point, you should say, all right, like,

• 49:16Matt McCusker?

  AI taking your job. You know what I was thinking about today? And I don't know if this is like a good thing or not. It's sad. It's scary. It's kind of like, what am I gonna do with myself? But then maybe, you know, I'm bright siding, obviously. The cotton gin kind of freed the slaves. It wasn't like the bleeding hearts of people. It was that we came up with a machine that kind of were like, okay, we don't need all these slaves. AI could be the cotton gin of fat, frumpy office workers. That's all I'm saying. How nice would that be?

• 49:47Matt McCusker?

  How nice would that be? I don't know. Whatever. Anyway, guys, um.

• 49:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think that's. Yeah, let's fight. Let's do the final clip. And guys, this is a good one. Check this out. I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 50:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 50:09Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 50:09Speaker 02

  No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 50:21Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025. Mark that.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 50:26Matt McCusker?

  Joke road. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 50:31Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the new year's episode.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You'd fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try sleeping, you know?

• 50:46Matt McCusker?

  Guys. 2025 is amazing. We recapped it. We had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. Everyone had a lot of fun. And we also cried. 2025, we cried, we grew. You know, um, and 2026, you know, my, my goal is to really become more social. I want to get out there. You know, and here's the thing, like, being more social, it's not about just going to parties and getting fucked up. It's about genuinely getting to know other people and embedding themselves, embedding yourself into their lives in a real way. Which I plan to do. I just, my problem with that is I'm just really only interested in my own life. So that's a, an obstacle I'm trying to overcome. Just because when I talk to people,

• 51:29Matt McCusker?

  I don't even think I hear them. They talk to me and I'm just going like, dude. Fuck.

• 51:35Matt McCusker?

  I gotta drop like 10 pounds and get shredded. I don't hear anything anyone says to me ever. Every time someone talks to me, I can do like 30 seconds of another person talking to me before I'm like, dude, if I get my bench to fucking 280 and I get my squat to fucking 350, I'll be at the 1,000 pound club pretty soon. Guys, but let's end this on a nice note. Enough about that. You know, it's the new year. It's one of those things where we start thinking about time. A year has passed and we start going, what's gonna happen in the next year? St. Augustine, or St. Augustine, however you say his name, he has a famous quote on time. He wrote a whole essay on it. I'm gonna read you guys a little selection on, uh, we're gonna

• 52:18Matt McCusker?

  close this out big with a quote from St. Augustine on time. So here's the quote. "What then is time? If no one asks me, I know. If I wish to explain it to one that asketh, I know not. Yet confidently I say I know that if nothing passed away, there would be no past time, and if nothing were coming, there would be no future time, and if nothing were, there would be no present time. Those two times then, past and future, how are they when the past is no more and the future is not yet? As for the present, if it were always present and never passed into past time, it would not be time but eternity. If then, the present is time only

• 53:00Matt McCusker?

  because it passes into the past, how can we say that it is since the reason why it is will not be? In other words, can we truly say that time is only because it tends toward non-being? And yet, we speak of, quote, "a long time" and a, quote, "short time," and we say this only of the past or future. We call 100 years ago, for example, a long time in the past, and 100 years, hence, a long time in the future. But a short time in the past, we might call, say, 10 days ago, and 10 days ago, hence, a short time in the future. But in what sense is something long or short that does not exist?" He's saying that the future and past does not exist. "For the past

• 53:42Matt McCusker?

  is not now and the future is not yet. We should not say of the past, quote, 'it is long, but it was long,' and of the future, 'it will be long.'" Hmm, let's jump down here.

• 53:56Matt McCusker?

  Okay. Behold the present time which alone can be, which alone we found could be called long, is narrowed to the space of scarcely one day. But let us discuss even this, for not even one day is entirely present. All the hours of night and day, twenty-four make it up. The first of them has the rest future, the last has the rest past, and one in the middle has past hours before it, future after it. And that one hour passes in fleeting moments. Whatever of it has flown away is past, what remains is future. If any portion of time be conceived, which cannot now be divided into even the minutest particles of moments, this alone is what we call the present,

• 54:40Matt McCusker?

  which yet flies so swiftly from future into past that it cannot be extended by any delay; for if it is extended, it is divided into past and future. The present has no space. Where then is the time which we call long? Is it future? We do not say it is long, for it is not yet, so as to be long, but we say it will be long. When then will it be? For even then, when it is still future, it will not be long, because what may be long is not yet. But it will be long, when from the future, which is not yet, it shall have begun to be and shall have become present, so that then if it can be something long, but instead, as we said before, the present cries that it cannot be long. Hmm. What then do I measure?

• 55:25Matt McCusker?

  Where is the short syllable by which I measure? Where the long which I measure? Both have sounded, flown, passed away, are no more, and yet I measure, and confidently answer, inasmuch as the rule of measure, as there is a rule of measurement, that as to the space of time, the syllable is single, that double, and I could not do this unless they had passed and ended. I measure not themselves, therefore, which are no more, but something in my memory which remains fixed. In thee, oh my mind, I measure times. Do not overwhelm me with noise; do not overwhelm myself with a multitude of thy impressions. In thee I say, measure times. Impression which passing things make on thee and which abides when they have passed,

• 56:10Matt McCusker?

  that I measure as time present. That is what I measure, or perhaps I do not measure times, but the impressions. Behold how my life is a distension and thine right hand hath upholding me in my Lord, the Son of Man, mediator between thee, the one, and us the many, who are in many ways distracted, that through him I may apprehend in whom I have been apprehended and may be gathered together again from my old days, following the one, forgetting the things that are behind, not distended but extended, but to things which shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are before, not distended but extended, I press toward the prize of the high calling.

• 56:52Matt McCusker?

  Wow. What a quote. Did you get that? Makes perfect sense. Guys, have a great New Year.

• 57:01Matt McCusker?

  Let's get it one more time. Fire back up. I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Do you know why they do that?

• 57:10Matt McCusker?

  Look cool?

• 57:11Speaker 02

  No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, Wes.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Come on, guys.

• 57:24Matt McCusker?

  Classic. Highlight reel 2025. Mark that.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Joke world, clip it.

• 57:29Matt McCusker?

  Joke world. Highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 57:34Matt McCusker?

  That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Over and over for three hours. You can fall asleep to it. But you're gonna laugh every time. You're gonna try to sleep and you go.

• 57:47Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  Do it.