Emergency Room Visits w/ Tommy Pope

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Tommy Pope! You know Tommy Pope from stand up comedy, Stuff Island, Kill Tony, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, This Is Not Happening, Look at Dish, Story Warz, Bein' Ian with Jordan, Tires, First Date and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide. Quince: Go to https://Quince.com/garbage for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:26H. Foley?

  It's that little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they have to be classy.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:31H. Foley?

  Or just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:33H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in a new addition. Just got some big news, she's doing Summer Slam this summer. Checking her ring. Look out. Put a folding chair in that broad's hands.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  All right, you're pushing it.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 0:49Speaker 02

  Take the living, get out of there.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Goodnight, folks. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage, international businessman, my best pal in the whole wide world. When you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor, make it a kippy. Give it up for KJ, KJ Ryan. You never heard that one?

• 1:08Speaker 02

  That was the original intro. What's up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are in the middle of

• 1:18H. Foley?

  Yes, we are. Top 100.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  That's where we belong. The middle of the charts. Not showing off, not falling behind. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, and the boys are on the road. Get your tickets. Toronto this weekend.

• 1:33H. Foley?

  Oh, boy. How about that? Toronto, going up north. So, them ketchup chips. Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today, our brother from another mother.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  Let me ask you a question. Do you do gym class and health class?

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Mr. Pope. Hey, get him a whistle, will you?

• 1:52Speaker 03

  You know what's fucked up? You know what's fucked up, Luke?

• 1:55H. Foley?

  Our old pal Tommy Pope, everybody.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  We had a...

• 1:58H. Foley?

  Stuff Island. Tires.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  A great conversation for 35 fucking minutes.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  Lovely.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  He was sitting on that fucking, that joke.

• 2:06H. Foley?

  I learned to control myself.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  That long, the bust, the tits of, of me? Moi?

• 2:12Speaker 03

  And that's what you came up with?

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Probably keep it up, he's gonna hate you when it chest passed.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  First of all.

• 2:18H. Foley?

  I'll be doing suicides.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  You wanna see a pic? You don't really wanna know why I'm wearing the [BLEEP].

• 2:23H. Foley?

  Oh, man. This is how to get out of work 101. This guy goes to the edge.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Nah, dude, it looks like AI. Look.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, Tommy's in a hospital.

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Tommy gave us a stop, so he was like, hey, you guys want a podcast? And sends a picture of him in the hospital.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  Pair's perfect, too.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  I went to New York.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, quaffed.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40H. Foley?

  Wait, you had this done in New York?

• 2:42Speaker 03

  Nah, it's just in Austin.

• 2:44H. Foley?

  Do a doctor down there?

• 2:47Speaker 03

  I went to a farm. It was a farmhand. Little Mexican guy, he fixed my eye. I got bleach, I got bleach in my eye.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  You got bleach in your eye?

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. It was like a Final Destination type shit. I got three, three bottles of Tylex.

• 3:01H. Foley?

  That's not how they take you out in Final Destination.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Well, I'm telling you, it's sore.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Apparently he's never seen the movies.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I don't like that he's sleeping this much. This kid is way too fucking relaxed.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Who, him?

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Me?

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Let me tell the fucking story.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Three bottles of Tylex, I take one out and I start squirting my...

• 3:18Speaker 02

  You got three, that's a lot of bottles.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  You save a little money.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  They got a big beach.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, you save, you save a couple of dimes, you get a three-pack.

• 3:24H. Foley?

  Tylex?

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, on the fucking, with bleach.

• 3:26H. Foley?

  That was once a year when you had. That's my mom.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Of course. Look, we're doing well, okay? We got Tylex.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  He's not doing Fabuloso.

• 3:36H. Foley?

  Which, by the way, we had the studio cleaned, my toothbrush tastes like Fabuloso.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I'll bet it does, dude. Your mouth is probably from that fucking cleaning lady. Look, I, I went to squirt the wall, the fucking bottom releases from the squirt.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  It wasn't screwed in?

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Apparently not.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  All I did was went from off to on. It hit the towel rack, did a spin, and spit directly in my eye. Like, I'm talking full splash. And I started washing, I do, I'm doing the dog bath. I got in the shower, opened my lids, direct shot. And my girl's like, we're going to ER. And I'm just yelling at her going, I'm not going to fucking ER.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I'm not going to fucking ER. And then she texts up my sister-in-law, who's a doctor, and then a couple of other friends who are doctors, they said, get him to the ER.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why were you adverse to it? Just because it's in you.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  No, I figure, yeah, I mean, the way we were raised.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  He's gotta fucking find a social security number, he's gotta get somebody's card.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  And also, how many hours? I was there for six fucking hours. I had to cancel shows. I had to fucking, you know.

• 4:36H. Foley?

  Bleach in your eye.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I got it out.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  They had you hardwired with like a tube into your eye.

• 4:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, it looked like a nice setup, to be honest with you.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  It's called the, uh, Morgan's lens.

• 4:46H. Foley?

  Morgan's lens?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess this, this fucking doctor invented this lens. And it's essentially a piece of plastic that drips, like an IV drip. And it just runs water through your eye constantly.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  I figured they'd put more bleach.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Close the eye.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Clean it up.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Killed that, use that bleach to kill the other bleach.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's what I told him, I was like, look, I've been snorting coke for, for years.

• 5:09H. Foley?

  What's that gotta do with anything?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  Baby, if you, my eyesight's fine.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Hey, doc, do you party?

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, look, baby, I'm all good.

• 5:18H. Foley?

  This doesn't pertain anything to you, this way you know I'm cool.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  I'm not no bitch who comes to the doctor, I party. This is my dumb wife got me.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  Give me the lens, but I ain't no bitch. You always tell them you're gonna pass out.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  That's how you get moved through in the line. You always say you're gonna pass out. Well, they're gonna believe you, not me.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Let me get me a can of corn. Uh-oh, whoa, touchy mochi.

• 5:41H. Foley?

  Old man Logan, look at him. You know what I was thinking about?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Damn, you got hot tub swinger body. How you doing? I'm glad my wife's not here.

• 5:51H. Foley?

  Big in the rib cage? Do you trim any of that up at all? Real thick like a, like a pit bull. You are, you are winter Tommy right now.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  I know.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  I gotta grow this up for tires.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah?

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:03H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Are you playing Santa Claus? Period piece.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  I'm an oil man.

• 6:13H. Foley?

  You know what, where did you get those glasses?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  I don't know, but his, his cologne is turning me on, I gotta be honest.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Nice scent, huh?

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Woo hoo, buddy, whatever you're doing, I'm, uh, I'm all ticklish. I got it, I smelled your jacket.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  That's a lot.

• 6:28H. Foley?

  It's called Laccatelli by George Ramsey.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  No, no, no, it's not a lot. It's powerful.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Emotional.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  I have something nice on too. You don't say, "I wear something that come on."

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Hey buddy, whatever you're doing.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Give me a smell.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  It's a taquito.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  I've had cooler.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  It's caught in his fucking collar. It's just an old taquito.

• 6:45H. Foley?

  I'm looking all over that.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Rolled up. Like a 1980's linebacker. It's just a taquito so his head doesn't slap back. I know Sriracha when I smell it.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  I don't like hot stuff. It's a per Tommy.

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Well, let's just fuck. Why do we have to do this?

• 7:03H. Foley?

  You know what I was thinking? Before you, before you, before you were here.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  This episode's not gonna get anywhere.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  No, it's great. You took your headphones off? What are we listening to?

• 7:15Speaker 02

  This guy's a renegade.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  It's over by his lipstick.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  What are we listening to?

• 7:20Speaker 03

  You're right next to me. Why do you fucking have a?

• 7:21H. Foley?

  That ain't chapstick.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, if you start watching some film, I'll toss him off.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  What are you watching? Game TV?

• 7:26H. Foley?

  Listen, I've been doing my face, creams, everything.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Trying to be a hot guy too?

• 7:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm trying to get rid of these bags under my.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Why you start with the bags under your tits?

• 7:36H. Foley?

  So the taquitos go.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Trying to get rid of the bags.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Would you like a bag, sir? No, I'm good. Just put the taquito on those tits.

• 7:43H. Foley?

  By the way, I gotta tell you something. These fucking delivery guys, the way they tighten up the fucking plastic bags, it's like, "You don't want me to eat it."

• 7:49Speaker 02

  They're trying to help.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  How'd you get that scratcher? Was it a delivery guy or a hooker?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Look at the knife wound. He's got on his fucking nose.

• 7:57H. Foley?

  It's a cat. Get it to me.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Oh, a cat, yeah.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  I did, a cat.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  I bet.

• 8:01H. Foley?

  Mountain lion.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're called Vietnamese.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Luke, make another that.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? That's, keep that. That's crazy. That's not offensive.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  I don't play in Doco.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  That'll get you no, that'll get you no award.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  That's a good bit. That's a good bit. It's my first good bit.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  That's a good bit in Wayne and that's a good bit here.

• 8:26H. Foley?

  Picked it up the broom, Alden. They'll be carrying out of the Lee's Hug House.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Media, flowing.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  I thought media was nice, no?

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Media's very nice. Yeah.

• 8:35H. Foley?

  It is nice. It's right by Rose Valley where I went to school.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  But once you start making money, you're like, "Holy shit, media's stoned."

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know. I've always ever, I knew the regional rail, the R3 ended in meteor.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  I was a West Trenton side guy. I took it up the buck.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  It's like Oz, yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  I've never been over there.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Ends of the Golden Road, yeah.

• 8:52H. Foley?

  It's never good if you're the last stop on the train. That much I know.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  I don't know, cut that. I mean, absolutely cut that.

• 9:01H. Foley?

  What I was gonna say is that I've been thinking. Do you, when you're down in Texas, and this isn't a shot or anything like that, do you ever like throw on the boots? Like cowboy boots and a hat and like go out to like dance or anything?

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Just have him be rolling over in his grave and he's still alive. I started laughing the minute he said it.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Well, you'd look good in a cowboy hat and you'd look good in the whole setup.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  It's insane.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  Don't you go like line dancing with the misses or something?

• 9:23Speaker 03

  That's a costume. I feel terrible wearing glasses. Can't imagine putting fucking cowboy boots on. Yeah, it's a big swing. It's insane. Yeah, it's just...

• 9:31H. Foley?

  Where did you get those glasses?

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 9:33H. Foley?

  That's got lens scratch.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Why you keep asking? Five below. Why you keep asking?

• 9:38Speaker 03

  There's a ladies' ring. Warby Parker.

• 9:42H. Foley?

  Those are Warby Parker?

• 9:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't like them?

• 9:44H. Foley?

  Whoa, Warby Parker special ads, huh?

• 9:47Speaker 03

  What's his pop, dude?

• 9:49H. Foley?

  What are you talking? I'm supposed to make fun of you.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Well, you were having, we were having a good time.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  That was off the air.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Alright, I'll fucking remember this. You also said that's so trash, you Warby Parker. I'll bring some shit up. No, hey, easy does it. I'll fucking, I will ruin this whole fucking podcast. This is a nice friendly episode. You're not gonna popcorn walk me into fucking disaster. No one... Without me fighting back. You wanna start this? What's popcorn walking? Keep that.

• 10:16H. Foley?

  I'm a Reese's Pieces man, everybody knows that. Trying to get me in a van. You're gonna be fucking popcorn, I'll tell you that. Fuck that.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  I don't like how much he's sleeping, dude. He's fresh, he's rejuvenated. I don't like it. New year, new foley. I don't like it. He's coming off the worst summer ever, then spilled into December and January.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  I'll start next week. Yeah, yeah.

• 10:36H. Foley?

  This is a front...

• 10:39H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, the foley game plan. Eh, next week is fun. Kick a guy while he's down.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Son of a bitch.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Tomorrow. That's a good back tattoo for you.

• 10:52H. Foley?

  He'll be happy with this, I did go to confession. I was down, I went to confession. I went twice.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I bet. He just got back in line? Yeah, sure. Have I seen you? You put a fake mustache on?

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Hit the time limit.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  I feel like I seen you.

• 11:06H. Foley?

  Well, you know what happened is, uh, I like to do the privacy one. Where you do, if you don't, if you don't know the Catholics, we do a confession, a clean slate thing.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  You believe in that?

• 11:16H. Foley?

  A little bit.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Anything to help him out of a jam.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, all right, all right. Yeah, whatever works.

• 11:22H. Foley?

  But I-

• 11:22Speaker 03

  You sit, you sit in a box with a [BLEEP].

• 11:25H. Foley?

  All right.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  You tell him the goods.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Don't leave that.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Maybe. You tell him the goods.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Hey, you're not, but how do you bend down? You get on your knees?

• 11:31H. Foley?

  I get on my knees? Am I gonna suck his dick?

• 11:36Speaker 03

  You drop your sins?

• 11:39Speaker 03

  By accident?

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  Cut that.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  I've only ever done, I think I've only ever, I confess once or twice. Remember my first one? I, they made me do face to face on the altar.

• 11:48H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  In front of everybody.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. I was mic'd up.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  What do you say? I didn't, I didn't help mom with the dishes?

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I made stuff up, you know, used the Lord's, Lord's name in vain, jerked off a couple of times.

• 12:00H. Foley?

  I was gonna say, did you leave out whaling on yourself up in your room?

• 12:03Speaker 02

  That's not a sin.

• 12:03H. Foley?

  A fucking-

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. Where's that in the Ten Commandments?

• 12:07Speaker 03

  That brings you closer to God, dude.

• 12:09H. Foley?

  You dropped that tablet.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  You wanna see lights?

• 12:10Speaker 03

  The holy juice.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, he lied, you know, fought with my brother, coveted my neighbor's wife, this, that, the other. He's a hooptie's ass.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  He's ass.

• 12:21H. Foley?

  No way, and, uh, what's her name, huh?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just make, you make stuff up.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  See, I'm there to get through the motions to get the chat.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Well, that's what he's doing too.

• 12:28H. Foley?

  I, no, I don't make stuff up. I gave him the goods.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  You think this guy's sitting there like a fucking clinical therapist?

• 12:32H. Foley?

  This guy's eyebrows were curling. He's like, Jesus.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Wow, take it easy.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  You're telling me.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Take it easy. Sometimes that's how we enunciate.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Italian guy?

• 12:43H. Foley?

  I, I walked in too far and he was fucking sitting there and I couldn't go back. They already seen my face.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  You're half a celebrity down there, too.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, what are you talking about? What are you worried about him seeing your face for?

• 12:54H. Foley?

  Because I've never done the confession where you're sitting there looking at him.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:57H. Foley?

  Tell him dirty stuff.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  How, in all honesty, how like, how deep did we get here?

• 13:03H. Foley?

  We get pretty deep, you know what I mean?

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Are you saying real shit dude?

• 13:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, what do you mean?

• 13:08Speaker 03

  How'd you get the scratch on your nose?

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Three slices of tomato pie.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, or do you go in there, "Our Father, forgive me..."

• 13:15H. Foley?

  It's not like death jam poetry, I'm not fucking laying it on him.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Do you remember, do you do like, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, it has been fifteen years since my last confession?"

• 13:23H. Foley?

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I give him, "It's been forever since my last confession."

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Three Hail Marys, four Our Fathers.

• 13:29H. Foley?

  That's all I got, I got three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  It couldn't have been that bad, whatever you said couldn't have been that bad, that's what they give Denise.

• 13:35H. Foley?

  They're trying to keep the lights on down there, of course.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  They are jammed up.

• 13:38H. Foley?

  Yeah!

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Dude, priests are the biggest fucking hacks in the world.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  Get out of here!

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Pastors, worst. Pastor, there's no pastor that isn't a fucking fraud.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Are pastors not priests? You mean pastor from just like, you know?

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, they can fuck, they can live a regular life, and they steal [bleep]. They take their tithings from a bunch of fucking mongoloids like Foley.

• 13:59H. Foley?

  Is that what happened to you?

• 14:01Speaker 03

  That's how I got my glasses.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  A hundred, a hundred and ten pence.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Keep that.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Tommy's got it out for the religious institutions.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Yeah dude, I went to school for twelve years doing this dumb shit. The fuck out of here.

• 14:18H. Foley?

  It made me feel better. I've been going to therapy and I wanted to get my kiss clean.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  That's how I feel about religion, spirituality, whatever it is, makes you feel better, it's great.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you're acting different.

• 14:27H. Foley?

  I'm not, how am I acting different?

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Since you had a confession, you came in here hot.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Wearing a wire. This guy's a narc dude.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  He is a fucking narc.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  He's asking me about my plug and shit. Fuck that.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  It's being different.

• 14:39H. Foley?

  How am I being different?

• 14:40Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 14:40H. Foley?

  See what happens when a guy tries to change.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  I like this. No, I like change for you.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  I do.

• 14:46H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:47H. Foley?

  Have you heard the good news?

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Say something about my glasses.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  He's risen.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  That's from The Sopranos. Do you have a relationship with God, Tommy? No. You wear a crucifix? What's on that chain? No.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  A cannoli.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  It's a lion. It's a lion?

• 15:07H. Foley?

  It's Buddy from Cake Boss.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Dude, a lion? Have you had his stuff, though? First of all, no, I got all this fucking-

• 15:19Speaker 02

  He'd be a great guy to have fucking throns.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  I got all this jewelry for tires. So I had to get a pinky ring. I got a little sauced up, you know, didn't see a priest, no confessions. I walked in there fucking hot. And I got fleeced by this little fucking Arab kid.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  I knew you were gonna name his nationality. You're like my brother, dude. Any guy ever, you gotta eat. Nice guy, Italian guy, Jewish guy, Arab guy.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  It's a very Philly thing.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  No, that's bullshit. No, I'm agreeing with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not, hey, relax. Yeah.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Hey, for an Italian guy.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Somebody goes, "Why's it matter if he's Asian?" I'm telling you a story. I'm telling you a story. For your mind, you go, "Okay, there it is. He's an Asian guy." "There's a little fucking sweet Arab boy selling me a fucking-" You went in and did it. A pinky ring. That's not something you buy online. You got drunk and went in somewhere. I went in the fucking Jewish. You went in, you went in face to face. That's how I got that, uh... Yeah, you know? I got a Freemason's ring from the 70s. Unbelievable. It feels better when you got the real stuff on. Makes your character more authentic. I only went in there for a pinky ring.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Play a fat guy who wears his own clothes. What are you talking about?

• 16:26Speaker 03

  It's authentic, though.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Everything says Henry.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  And then I said, "I want a pendant." And he goes, uh, I said, "Anything but religious. I don't want that bullshit." And he goes, "Well, we have a custom-made lion head. Send it." And then he bought, I bought another chain, I bought another bracelet, and I walked out. Seven grand. What? Seven Gs? Yeah. Wait, did you get this in Brooklyn? Did you tell me about this guy? Queens. Great, it's a great place. Yeah. Dude, we're talking ring, pendant.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Custom made.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  Not for you, custom made.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  A necklace, a bracelet, see ya.

• 17:07H. Foley?

  Whose anniversary does it say on the back of that thing?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  To Jim with love.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  For, for...

• 17:16Speaker 02

  My dearest Antoine.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  I was gonna say something you're gonna cut anyway.

• 17:19H. Foley?

  25 years sober, love out.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  It's nice.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  I, I, I, that's, I didn't expect, I didn't peg you for a drag, or I had a...

• 17:27Speaker 03

  A drag queen?

• 17:28Speaker 02

  No. A lion guy. I had a dragon when I was a kid.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  It could have been anything, a unicorn.

• 17:33H. Foley?

  You wouldn't do a cross? You wouldn't do St. Michael, St. Gabriel?

• 17:36Speaker 03

  No, no, that shit, no, no. It's nice.

• 17:39H. Foley?

  It's beautiful.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, I like it. I kinda wanna go to gold.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  It's 18K. It's nice.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  I believe ya. I, I'm not buying it from ya, I don't know.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Stuff Island.com.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Plug the website.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Patreon.com/StuffIsland.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  In case I get in a street fight.

• 17:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, but let's talk about Helix mattresses.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Helix, helix, helix.

• 18:00H. Foley?

  Big fancy Helix mattress over here. It's the winter time. You're gonna spend a lot of time indoors. What do you wanna do? It's sleeping on a cot?

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:07H. Foley?

  Some bad mattress? No, you wanna do it in a Helix. You go over there, you take the quiz, you find out how you sleep. Do you sleep light? Do you sleep heavy? Sleep on your side, on your back? Are you tall? Are you short? Are you big? Are you small? Whatever you want. They'll pair you up with the best mattress, absolutely perfect for you.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, obviously, I mean, we've said as well, Doc, I've been sleeping in a mattress, I have a Helix mattress for about five years now. Since the beginning of the show, they were nice enough to send us one, and it's changed my life. I'm a Helix man through and through. Whatever, if I go over to your house and you're like, oh, you're crashing in the other room, I go, okay, where's the garage? Cause I'm bringing my Helix in for tonight.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  You know what's funny?

• 18:41Speaker 02

  That's what I'm doing.

• 18:42H. Foley?

  Is I still think of it as a brand new mattress, cause it really is. Five years later, brand new, that's Helix.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  That's, that's a heavy payload on it.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Uh, guys, I got a 120 night sleep trial. I got a limited lifetime warranty and a happy with Helix guarantee. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges, offers a risk-free customer-first experience, designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. Uh, right now, you can head over... Excuse me. Go to healandsleep.com/garbage for 27% off site wide.

• 19:18H. Foley?

  Oooh.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  That's healandsleep.com/garbage, 27% off site wide. Make sure to say, enter our show name after checkout so you know the boys. Yeah, healandsleep.com/garbage, do it.

• 19:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, but it's time about Quince.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Quince, quince, quince, quince.

• 19:30H. Foley?

  Gang, we're talking about a new year, colder days. This is the moment your winter wardrobe really has to deliver. And if you're not shopping at Quince, you're gonna be left out in the cold. Quince brings together premium materials, thoughtful design, and enduring quality. Enduring quality, I like that. So stay warm, look sharp, and do yourself a favor. Get over to Quince and stay, stay sharp all winter long.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, they got down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear.

• 19:59H. Foley?

  Italian leather.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  That'll keep you warm when it's actually cold. How you doing? They got Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Wool coats, leather suede outerwear. Everything you need to be looking dapper, they got you covered. And it's, if you look good, you can be a bozo and still look good. That's what I do. I'm an idiot. I went over to Quince, I said, let me get some pants, let me get something nice to wear around the holidays. I get a party. These are the time of year you gotta look pretty good. And we're bozos, a lot of listeners are bozos. Go over there, you get an outfit, get two outfits, you look good, you go to the event, your cocktail hour, your wife's holiday party, this, that. They got you friggin' covered. I love the pants. That's why I got a nice pair of slacks, looking good.

• 20:38H. Foley?

  They got good socks over there, I can tell you that.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com/garbage for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com/garbage. Free shipping, 365 day returns. Quince.com/garbage, do it. Now, back to the show.

• 20:56H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Ah, huh. Well, very interesting, Tom. It's nice to have you back.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  It's great to see you, boys. I love you.

• 21:03H. Foley?

  I love you.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Always a pleasure when you come to town and we get to see each other.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, isn't that great?

• 21:07H. Foley?

  Coincidentally, playoff season.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Coincidentally. We should go.

• 21:12H. Foley?

  I can't go.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  This week? What?

• 21:14H. Foley?

  I can't go.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 21:15H. Foley?

  I can't go down there.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  What do you mean, down there?

• 21:18H. Foley?

  I can't go down to the game. I got shit to do Sunday night.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 21:23H. Foley?

  Plus, big games like that, I gotta watch it on TV.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Listen, the last big game we went to, we won.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Hold on a second.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  All we, all the three of us went together, if you remember.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, and tell Feather Atkinson you can go Monday.

• 21:34H. Foley?

  Who's Feather Atkinson?

• 21:35Speaker 03

  Whoever you're confessing to, fuckface. It's the fucking playoffs.

• 21:38H. Foley?

  Feather Atkinson.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Hey, listen, if he's a, if he's a priest in Philadelphia, he'll understand, okay?

• 21:43Speaker 03

  So you say fa- so you say father.

• 21:45H. Foley?

  What are you doing here, you fucking pussy? You should be at the game.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  He's going to see Feather, Feather Atkinson.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Fatter?

• 21:51Speaker 03

  Fatter. That's Fatter Atkinson.

• 21:55H. Foley?

  Luke, talking to me like this? Hey, buddy.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  And we're back again, ladies and gentlemen.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Fada? Go Birds. In the name of Jalen.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Three Hail Marys and Go Birds.

• 22:13H. Foley?

  Forgive me, Father, time he drinks.

• 22:16Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Look at you.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Kids pristine for 30 days. Suck my dick.

• 22:23H. Foley?

  Still drinking beers.

• 22:24Speaker 03

  I'll come at you, dude. You better calm down.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  We'll do an hour if that can't be released.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  I think we're already halfway there.

• 22:33H. Foley?

  You gotta put them up.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  My face is greased.

• 22:37H. Foley?

  I didn't know you were-

• 22:38Speaker 02

  You look like what's-his-name from Jaws.

• 22:39H. Foley?

  I didn't know, Roy Schneider?

• 22:43H. Foley?

  Or Quince?

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Roy Schneider.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  I didn't know, do you wear contacts?

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Rob Schneider.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wear contacts.

• 22:48H. Foley?

  You can't see far away, you can't see close?

• 22:51Speaker 03

  I can't see far away. I'm nearsighted.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  You're out of your mind if you're cutting that. What are we doing here?

• 22:57H. Foley?

  Podcast.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Fucking underwear ads?

• 22:59Speaker 02

  Selling BetterHelp.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Anyway.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Which I don't need, because I go to confession.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  You go to confession.

• 23:06H. Foley?

  I went twice.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:08H. Foley?

  I got, I did-

• 23:08Speaker 03

  You feel better?

• 23:09H. Foley?

  Yeah, it felt good that day.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  And then what?

• 23:12Speaker 02

  You have to make an appointment, or you just go into like, office hours? I don't know how it works. Ding ding!

• 23:17H. Foley?

  They take walk-ins.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  I see if I can get a shape up real quick.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  The bell rings on the front door. No one's there anyway.

• 23:23H. Foley?

  No, you go 3 o'clock, they have it over in St. Helens. And I haven't been there in a while, and I get in there, and everyone's standing in the line waiting. I'll tell you this real quick.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Pass some hors d'oeuvres or something, I'm starving.

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Everyone was- Everyone was-

• 23:36H. Foley?

  Snow shrimp. He's the fucking cocktail. Everyone was facing the, uh, the altar, which I don't remember that. That's where dead Jesus is. Yeah, I know, but I got in line and there was a guy in front of me. I go, "What, why are you facing this way?" He's like, you know, "To face the altar." And I'm like, "This is the back of the line, though." He's like, "Yeah." So I'm waiting there. You're all standing there like the backwards man? Yeah. Like a fucking, like an awkward elevator ride? Yeah, I was in the front. Man, that's a setup. And there's a guy in there for like 20 minutes. I'm like, "What'd this guy do, huh?" That's, that's how you know none of this is real. Stop it, Tommy. What this guy do? You're bombing in line?

• 24:10H. Foley?

  You stink, dude. I said, "Noah, it's a little rain, huh?" "Nothing on that."

• 24:19H. Foley?

  Hey, did you hear about, did you hear about the one with the priest and Sydney Sweeney in a canoe?

• 24:25H. Foley?

  Noah, four sheep, huh? The second flood. You stepped on that. That was brilliant. No, he liked it. I said, "Noah, four sheep? Really?" "'Cause it's two?" I hit him again. He's gonna fuck the others. We get it. Thank you. Yeah. Anyway, I'm waiting there. I gotta be honest with you, I didn't get it. I just thought it was a bad math joke. Tommy, give him detention.

• 24:46H. Foley?

  I'll stay after with him. I'm waiting in line. This old lady comes over and she goes, "Is that's..."

• 24:53H. Foley?

  She goes, "Is that so-and-so in there?" And I, I think so. And then I go in and come out and I'm like, "Yeah, it's him." And she goes, "Oh, okay." And goes the other line. Priest-wise? Yeah. And I'm like, "What the fuck?" Yeah, creepy. So I creep over to her and I go, "Hey..." "What do you got that I don't got?" I was like, "What was that all about?" Yeah. A warm pussy. I was like, "What do you know that I don't?"

• 25:15H. Foley?

  She's like, "No, I just wanted to see this guy." I'm like, "All right, cool." You got a bad guy? Huh? You got a bad guy? No, I got a great guy. But I just didn't like that. Sure. What does she know that I don't?

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:28H. Foley?

  Do I gotta spell it out for you?

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know if I fully get it.

• 25:35H. Foley?

  I was worried that he might be...

• 25:38Speaker 02

  A little light in the loafers.

• 25:40H. Foley?

  No, I'm cool with that.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 25:42H. Foley?

  That's what I was hoping for.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  Why is this table creaking like a fucking 1940's German attic? Welcome back to the Black Pearl.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Took the whole of his ship.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  So you just cut that whole podcast off to tell the story?

• 25:57H. Foley?

  I don't know if I cut anything off.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  That a hot and horny Catholic lady?

• 26:01H. Foley?

  She wasn't hot and horny.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  That's what Tommy hears, right? Tommy hears broad, he figures hot and horny.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  First of all, you're shifting lines to get the one priest?

• 26:07H. Foley?

  That's what, that's what she did.

• 26:09Speaker 03

  She has a relationship with him.

• 26:11H. Foley?

  No, no.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Like Carmella.

• 26:14H. Foley?

  I don't know what the reason was. I was worried that she didn't go to him because he was, he was, he was bad, a bad apple. And I was like, who did I just tell all that fucked up shit to? I'm putting material that this guy spank bank.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ, can we cut all that?

• 26:30H. Foley?

  It's no good.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Horrendous.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  What is that hoodie, by the way? I thought it was an Eagles hoodie, it's not.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  No, it's...

• 26:37H. Foley?

  Is that your high school?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  No, it's my, uh, my merch boys, Stratford.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Couple of good, couple of good, I believe they were St. Joe's boys.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, St. Joe's Prep.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  St. Joe's, they were prep boys out of Philadelphia.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  My cousin taught some of them.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Stratford, uh, it's Declan, Finn.

• 26:53H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  They're good boys.

• 26:54H. Foley?

  It's a sweet, sweet hoodie.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  It's the guys that make our merch. They're very, very good kids.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  They're very good kids.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  You got some, right? You got a couple of pieces.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  I support, I support all of my friends' podcasts. I got that from Mr. Sal Vacano, who was just wearing one of our shirts on an episode.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  You support the boys, the boys gotta support the boys.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  That's right, of course.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  And they're, they're also nice guys. Every time I've been in a live show, they try to give me merch. I'm like, nah, nah, nah. Support them, support, yeah.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. I like this.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, you got a nice guy.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  I don't know, you...

• 27:23Speaker 03

  You see this fucking...

• 27:24H. Foley?

  I don't have a computer.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  If you get a little brick and mortar, I'd stop by. On my way to church.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  A little bit of foot traffic. There doesn't, we don't need to be fighting, we could all be together.

• 27:37H. Foley?

  Hey, by the way, have you had those, uh...

• 27:38Speaker 03

  That's actually, dude, brick and mortar is what I call you two.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  That's not bad. The fuck, the boys are coming. A brick and mortar.

• 27:46H. Foley?

  Have you had one of those croissants down there? Tommy Bunz's croissants?

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Who?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  Tom Segura.

• 27:54H. Foley?

  You like a croissant?

• 27:56Speaker 03

  I like a croissant.

• 28:00H. Foley?

  What are you two gonna start kissing? Get to the questions, will you?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  I fucking, I don't know.

• 28:05H. Foley?

  Not you.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  You asked me if I had a croissant at a place I've never heard of.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  I don't know. Hey, listen, your church story, Bob.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Rested Foley is bananas.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Don't fucking project.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  I've never seen rested Foley. It's scary.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Don't try to fucking-

• 28:20Speaker 03

  This is, this is the killer whale of comedy, dude. You never know who he's gonna come after. He's the predator.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  He was doing the backflips a minute ago, it's gonna be me. He's gonna bite my ankle and take me down to the bottom of the thing.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  Give you a roll.

• 28:36H. Foley?

  The old Tootsie Roll.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get too comfortable and he's gonna blackfish me.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  He's gonna give you one rib shot. You're gonna lose oxygen immediately.

• 28:44H. Foley?

  Just press you up against the side of the pool.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  You're toying with me.

• 28:48H. Foley?

  You ever seen-

• 28:49Speaker 02

  He keep letting me come up. Alright, back down.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Hey, big man. Right back down.

• 28:56H. Foley?

  Get you with a quick flop.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  We're going to Toronto this weekend.

• 29:00H. Foley?

  You know they're doing that now, those fucking, uh, the, uh, killer whales.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the joke.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  They're diving on boats, not the trainers.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, like off a grocer.

• 29:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, diving on boats.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're bored.

• 29:11H. Foley?

  Trying to get a white claw. Get all this sushi, nothing to wash it down with. I'm killing, what are you talking about?

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Horrendous.

• 29:22H. Foley?

  These things are so slippery.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  This is horrendous. What the fuck?

• 29:25H. Foley?

  Fucking headphones, it's 600 degrees.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Why are you wearing headphones? We're not listening to anything.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  I'm a broadcaster.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  We're doing a show.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  You don't have to listen to anything, we're right here.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  You're not getting, the lines are coming through.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I can hear you.

• 29:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  They're piping through lines. What do you mean? You think we're coming up with all this in the moment?

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Hold on, wait a minute. They said about Tommy's glasses? Okay.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  I just passed out.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  I never understood the fucking headphones.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  It makes it feel like you're in the show. You're in it.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  No.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  That's fucking nice.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Hey, they each their own. You're allowed to do it. You don't, no one's making you wear them.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  We're just saying we're wearing them.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Alright. I like it.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  I can do this.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  I can hear it.

• 30:05H. Foley?

  No, you can't.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yes, I can.

• 30:06H. Foley?

  Not like you could in the headphones.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  Is it that fucking great? You better fucking kill right now.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Tommy, it killed in the headphones.

• 30:12H. Foley?

  Watch.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  We're dying.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  This is it.

• 30:13H. Foley?

  I'll do it for you.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  It better fucking crush.

• 30:15H. Foley?

  Watch. I'll, I'll, I'll do machine gun.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  I'll be honest.

• 30:18H. Foley?

  I'll do machine gun.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

• 30:27H. Foley?

  Hey, Michael.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Alright, I'm keeping them on.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  That, that was, that was fucking dynamite, dude. You're right. It's so different. It is so, can we start over? Is there a possibility to start over? This is, yeah.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody!

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Oh, alright. Let's get to some, it's always fun when you got Tommy Pope here.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Yes, sir.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Uh, let's get to some...

• 30:52H. Foley?

  I'm sweating on my, this is a Christmas shirt. I'm sweating on it. And I cannot wash it. This is a dry clean only.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  There's nothing dry about that shirt.

• 31:04H. Foley?

  I don't know what the fuck, man. It's like I'm gonna time to kill over here.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Just dropping off six shirts for wet clean. You're sweating, you're like you're waiting on a fucking, a jury to come back.

• 31:13H. Foley?

  Just hang that out the window for a couple of hours. Put that in a fucking dryer.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Hanging on a fence. You looked really well put together. Your, dude, the hairs go and the shirt's all...

• 31:23H. Foley?

  It's hot, man!

• 31:24Speaker 02

  I, I know the texture.

• 31:26H. Foley?

  Fucking drink, huh?

• 31:26Speaker 02

  I know the texture of that shirt right now.

• 31:29H. Foley?

  Ah, it sucks.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  And it stinks. It's like, I could squeeze it, it would stay together.

• 31:32H. Foley?

  Hey, don't do that!

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Ah, there's like a rainforest in there.

• 31:37H. Foley?

  Fuck, man.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, that thing's...

• 31:39H. Foley?

  Sucks.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Straighten it, straighten your arm out. Yeah, it's gonna be all rinky, all rinkadink.

• 31:45H. Foley?

  Low pressure system coming out of my titties.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  Alright, let's see, since we were talking about maybe going to the old Birds game, playoff football coming up this week. Go Birds. We got a couple of sporting event questions for our friend Tommy.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  You're a pretty classy guy, I gotta say. I mean, you're a dirtbag in your, you know, in your heart of hearts. You are a Philadelphia scumbag.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  He's put together, he cleans.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  You're put together, you got good fashion.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  This is nice.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  Cleans.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. The sound quality is crazy.

• 32:17H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really nice.

• 32:18H. Foley?

  You look like you're teaching a broadcasting class.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  See?

• 32:21H. Foley?

  What?

• 32:22Speaker 03

  That's why I wouldn't put it on. I'm already wearing accessories. There's just too many accessories.

• 32:28H. Foley?

  I had a dream the other night where he had an earring in.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Here you go, Luke.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  No, don't. What are you talking about?

• 32:36H. Foley?

  Why does he gotta be Jewish?

• 32:38Speaker 02

  You're arguing, dude, you're arguing like, you're arguing with a red footed baseball. The hell? That's been inside the strike zone all day!

• 32:44Speaker 03

  I held his arm. I held his arm. Everybody holds arms.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  It's over five yards, five yards!

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Stop fucking pass interference!

• 32:53H. Foley?

  Kim, what's up about Chime?

• 32:55Speaker 02

  Chime!

• 32:56H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 32:59H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 33:01H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 33:15Speaker 02

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 33:28H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, that is. Oh, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that, they got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Well, you are, you're a very well put together guy. Italians are, tend to be well put together guys.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  You care about, this is not a, I'm not saying you have to knock it down.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  You know what, I'm on defense.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  I buddy you, I got nothing but love for you.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  I'm on defense, cuz this fucker.

• 34:35H. Foley?

  No, Tommy, stop that, come on.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:38H. Foley?

  You wore weird glasses, I'm not gonna make fun of them.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  The Taquito King is, Taquito King is on my ass.

• 34:44H. Foley?

  I'm not getting all up and down about the Taquito thing.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, dude.

• 34:48H. Foley?

  I roll with it.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  That was very.

• 34:49H. Foley?

  I'm fat pig.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  That was very Henry Hill. Why you wearing fucked up glasses, I gotta be.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  No, go down there, go down there, go down there. I can't, Henry, I can't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 34:59H. Foley?

  Now, what if we sat here the whole time and we said, I didn't say nothing about the glasses?

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 35:05H. Foley?

  You heard me.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  You didn't say anything about the glasses.

• 35:07H. Foley?

  What if I did?

• 35:08Speaker 02

  What if we just sat here and acted like you weren't wearing glasses? Would I think, I like the glasses.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  I don't care, put on your fucking NASA script. You fucking monkey. Yeah, look at the gla, look at the size of this glass.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  First of all, those things are foggy.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Look at these ant burners, dude. Give me, give me these, give me these.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  What are those, dude, look at the glasses, gokel coma.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Now, give me these, give me these, right now.

• 35:26H. Foley?

  These are readers. I bet you they look nice on you.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Holy Christmas. Kev?

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Dude, they are smudged arena.

• 35:32H. Foley?

  It's a little bit of goddess dressing.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  You wanna see Jupiter's rings?

• 35:34H. Foley?

  No, I'm not touching them.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Look through these fucking things.

• 35:36H. Foley?

  They're, they're readers.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Look at the difference, they're readers.

• 35:38H. Foley?

  They're readers.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, what are you, what are you reading on the moon?

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Look, look at the difference, look at the glass.

• 35:44H. Foley?

  Let me see yours then. Can I try them on?

• 35:47Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. We're not that close, dude.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  To wear your glasses?

• 35:51Speaker 03

  You're out of your mind. You're out of your mind. Look at those things.

• 35:55H. Foley?

  I see how it is. All the Tylix in the world ain't gonna clean that up, Tommy. Huh, there you go.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Hey, Luke, I wanna apologize for all the cleanup work you have to do tonight.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  It's a turner, it's a quick turnaround, it's going out tomorrow.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. That boy's doing, dude, he's doing double time.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  He's fine.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  He's gonna hit me up in two hours, ah, the files are lost.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. And we're back.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  And we're back.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Hey Tommy, I got a question for you, you know, listening to you.

• 36:29H. Foley?

  You don't like my glasses? My mom got these for me for Christmas.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 36:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Your mom got you a pair of readers?

• 36:34H. Foley?

  She got me six pairs of readers, cuz I lose them. I lose them.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  I can't see them.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  That's how, that's how heavy his prescription is. He starts sucking those tongue like a fucking mongoloid.

• 36:45H. Foley?

  They're readers.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  What are you talking about, readers?

• 36:47H. Foley?

  You don't know what readers are?

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, they said bifocals, right?

• 36:51H. Foley?

  No. The whole thing's bifocal.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  They're like not prescription, they're just like in hand, they're like, he's got magnifying glasses.

• 36:56H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  To what?

• 36:57H. Foley?

  So I can read.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Close?

• 36:59H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:00H. Foley?

  Scripture, whatever I'm reading.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Where'd you get them?

• 37:03H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Where'd you?

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Colonel Sanders 316.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  It was a Happy Meal, when you order seven?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Where'd you get them?

• 37:16H. Foley?

  At the store.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  Well, fuck you, you asked me, where'd you get them?

• 37:20H. Foley?

  I don't know where she got them.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 37:22H. Foley?

  I think she got them at McCaffrey's, the grocery store.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  That's a fine establishment.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  That's a good pub.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  It's a good pub.

• 37:28H. Foley?

  Great burger.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Hey, I got nickel wings on Tuesday night. Tell them Tommy sent you.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  I got them at McCaffrey's.

• 37:34H. Foley?

  Is there a McCaffrey's bar in Philly?

• 37:36Speaker 03

  I'm sure.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 37:38H. Foley?

  I don't know, I don't drink.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  I don't know, I've been to a lot, I mean, definitely, I don't, I don't know. It can't be that good of a one, that good a one, I would've been there. I just had a stroke.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  This whole podcast is a stroke.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Well, Tommy, that's funny you ask, cuz...

• 37:57Speaker 03

  We can cut that too, right?

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Dabathy, man, what a trash name that is.

• 38:01H. Foley?

  Dabathy?

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  That's a fat name.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  That's not a real name.

• 38:04H. Foley?

  Dabathy.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Dabathy.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  Like dabs, like doing, smoking doobies.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 38:09H. Foley?

  You never hit a dab, you don't like the weed, do you?

• 38:11Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  Not your thing.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Doesn't work with me.

• 38:13H. Foley?

  Doesn't work with you?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  More of a upper guy.

• 38:16H. Foley?

  Yeah. Get up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  I'm more, I'm more of an upathy. That didn't work?

• 38:25H. Foley?

  That was good.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  You wanna cut that too, Kev?

• 38:32Speaker 03

  I hate wearing glasses, this sucks.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Tommy's eyebrows are wearing his glasses down. You know what? What? Cut that. And we're back.

• 38:40H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:43H. Foley?

  What's the prognosis with the eye? You just can't wear contacts for a couple of days?

• 38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, five days.

• 38:48H. Foley?

  Five days?

• 38:49Speaker 03

  I haven't gone to an ophthalmologist.

• 38:51H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Easy does it, we're moving on.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Why?

• 38:55Speaker 02

  I don't know, but there was gonna, you were gonna take a hard left into his religion, I'm sure.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  No. I gotta go to an ophthalmologist, I gotta see it in my cornea, make sure everything's fine.

• 39:04H. Foley?

  You know the difference between an optometrist and an ophthalmologist?

• 39:06Speaker 03

  Ophthalmologist.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  You know the difference between an optometrist and an ophthalmologist?

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Butt? Is it butt?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Is it the butt?

• 39:19H. Foley?

  The butt?

• 39:21H. Foley?

  What?

• 39:23H. Foley?

  Put your glasses back on.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Take the headphones off.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Ask me a question.

• 39:27H. Foley?

  Do you know the difference between an ophthalmologist and an optometrist?

• 39:31Speaker 02

  No, he doesn't.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  Is it the butt?

• 39:34H. Foley?

  What butt?

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Ask me again.

• 39:38H. Foley?

  Do you know the difference between an op-temologist?

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  And an optometrist?

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:44H. Foley?

  What?

• 39:45Speaker 03

  It's the butt.

• 39:46H. Foley?

  You're right.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  That's a good bit.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  I'm not sure I get it.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  That was a good butt.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  That was a good bit.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  That was a good butt.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Cause you don't get smart comedy.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  That was a good butt.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Alright?

• 39:55Speaker 02

  My computer just died. You were saying one's a butt doctor.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. What is the, what is the, is this a riddle or something?

• 40:02H. Foley?

  I got nothing, I don't know.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Oh my god. Forgive me father for I have seen. Foley's gonna be, Foley's gonna be in confession, forgive me father for I have seen, has been three episodes since I told a joke.

• 40:20H. Foley?

  Yeah, don't bring me up on this podcast. Father, you're all I got!

• 40:26Speaker 03

  That's very funny.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Alright, it says questions.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Oh, my computer just died, so we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to wing it.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Well, let's take a break.

• 40:36H. Foley?

  We're back. Whoa, that thing charged pretty quick. That turned right on.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  That Steve Jobs knows what he's doing. And we're back.

• 40:44H. Foley?

  Steve Jobs not.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  It got me, forgive me father for I have bombed, right? Whoa, what was that?

• 40:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's what they, that thing fucked me on that. They fucked me on that.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  What the fuck was that?

• 40:55H. Foley?

  Tommy, don't even get me started. That's what these dickheads, that's the code.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  That was some Jedi shit.

• 41:01H. Foley?

  It took me a weekend to figure that out.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Tell me just what happened. No, I'm dead serious.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Okay, so, uh...

• 41:06H. Foley?

  They do the great balls of fire.

• 41:10H. Foley?

  That's what these fucking assholes do, and then they laugh at me because I don't know how to do it.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  I was sitting here like a dickhead all weekend, nobody was in here, trying to fucking send one goddamn email.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  Pecking like a pop?

• 41:21H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Dude, show me what you just did. That was insane. Were you recording?

• 41:27Speaker 02

  He knows, yeah, yeah, so the password, this was Luke, Luke came up with this.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  My password, the passwords, just to get into the computer, like, not like for like Apple or anything like that, is just the letters across the bottom, Z through M. So you just go, whoop.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  You're telling people your password?

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Just to get into the computer, but, so you'd have to have the computer.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Right.

• 41:49H. Foley?

  Which we do, Tommy.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  That is it.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  That's it, so you just go, and it pops right up?

• 42:01Speaker 02

  And it opens up.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  But you gotta have a touch to get it.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Well, so Foley complained, Foley was complaining he didn't have a computer. Meanwhile, the company owns 48 computers, right? Everybody's got six computers. We got editing computers, we got this computer, new guy's got a computer, this guy's got a computer, I got a computer.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  You guys are doing well.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  We give them a computer. We get them a computer.

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Forty-eight's a stretch.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. How many buttons are missing from your computer?

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Dude, I've never seen anything he handed it to me, and I was...

• 42:27H. Foley?

  I'm chewing on the delete button.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  The X button is ruined from Max X and X.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  He had it for weeks.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  A Pornhub man.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  I open it up, and I go to YouTube to like, look at something, and YouTube's blank. Like, he had never been on it, they had, the algorithm had no information.

• 42:42H. Foley?

  Maybe I cleared my search history.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  He had put in, he had input zero information of the computer that YouTube couldn't even just suggest a video. It was just black, it was a, what are you into? That's how, that's how you get a computer for like a month.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Select your language.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Portuguese.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Tell us who scratched your nose.

• 43:02H. Foley?

  Do you guys ever do that sometimes on, at the ATM? Do you select another language to see if you can get it?

• 43:07Speaker 02

  See how good you are, end up checking your balance 48 times?

• 43:09Speaker 03

  What's that all about?

• 43:12H. Foley?

  Who the fuck is checking their balance like that? That, that's the first thing.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  Luke, find out why they do that, cause now they all do. I hit, I hit the Mac machine the other day. And it hit me. Why is it everyone now does that?

• 43:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, you wanna check your balance?

• 43:24Speaker 02

  They have to be benefiting.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  No, I wanna buy drugs, that's what I wanna fucking do.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:27H. Foley?

  Give me the money.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  What's just, it's more for the drug addicts than anything.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  What, ATMs?

• 43:32Speaker 03

  No, check your balance is more drug addict than regular. Cause you have to find out how much you can take down.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  I mean, when I have no, when I had no money, I had to check. You're constantly checking your, I check in your balance on your phone before you go to the ATM.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  Oh my god. Yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  They need you to confirm you have enough funds for your requested withdrawal.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  Fuck them.

• 43:51Speaker 05

  Preventing overdraft fraud.

• 43:52H. Foley?

  They got it. Fuck them.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Fuck outta here.

• 43:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  Now, do you have a thing, uh, will you, I, I, cause for the longest time, I would just use any ATM. I didn't care if it was on like a vacant lot, under a street. Do you have like, will you only use your ba, your banks?

• 44:05Speaker 03

  No.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Your anything?

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Anything.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  Anything, anywhere.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Anything guy, yeah. Jesus Christ, Texaco. Give me eight dollars fee. I don't give a fuck.

• 44:14H. Foley?

  I'm a big 7-11 guy.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Wherever I'm at.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  That's where you're getting cash. Yeah, if I need cash, I'm not, it's not walking around money.

• 44:20H. Foley?

  I'm a big 7-11 guy.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I bet.

• 44:22H. Foley?

  Always in the back by the soda's. You know, the cases they got in line though.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  See you coming. Couple of impulse buys.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  You can finish one before you get your cash.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  You want a hot dog?

• 44:34Speaker 02

  No, no one said that, but yeah, sure, it sounds like that's what's happening.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  I know this is an are you garbage co, uh, like, question, but you ever like walk around shopping? You know, and you, you grab, you have a drink or something to eat? Finish it? Discard?

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Did you say, did you say you don't know if that is an are you garbage question?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  No, I know it is.

• 44:51H. Foley?

  No, you just know it is.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it has to be.

• 44:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh yeah, very much so.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  Oh, you guys already covered this?

• 44:55H. Foley?

  No, it's good. Do you do that? Cause that doesn't strike me.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  Actually, I was episode one.

• 44:59H. Foley?

  That doesn't strike me as something you would do.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Now.

• 45:05H. Foley?

  A bottle of red maybe.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Really? You steal from an airport? A lot of people steal from airports, cause they say that's.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Now we're talking.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Get, get the headphones.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Now we're talking.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  Tommy's got a 747 in his driveway.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  It's parked out front. Tommy's got the luggage cart.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  It's just a worker.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  He's in my second bedroom. Sir.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  Using the wands. I'd like to go home. Not today.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  Keep it. Keep it. No, I steal water. Every, every flight. I steal water.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  From what, any store, anything, or just the easiest?

• 45:44Speaker 03

  Fucking Hudson. Hudson can get it, dude. Hudson.

• 45:48H. Foley?

  I would love to know what they're, uh, what's it called? Lost whatever?

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, they don't, I mean, they're charging you, they're charging you seven bucks a water, so you could steal fucking eighty waters a day and it don't matter.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  Bingo. Uh, what, thirteen dollars for gummy bears? Suck my dick. I'm stealing water right in front of you.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  Seems reasonable to me.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Here's what I do. Here's what I do.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  Here's what he does.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Grab a couple waters.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Bat my eyes at the lady.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  And there's security guards. They don't even watch the checkout. So I'll pretend to beep, hit cancel, beep, cancel.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  They gotta have the headphones on.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  Walk out. If I get caught, a little bit, if someone's got eyes on me, I just sit around and then I walk outside. And I'll pretend to talk to whoever I'm with.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  What was that?

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. Did you want something else?

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Just to...

• 46:35Speaker 03

  What's that? And then I'll just keep walking. And if nobody comes at me, we're good. We're gold.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Gucci.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Stealing two fucking thirty-two ounce Evyons. Baby, that's like fucking twenty-five dollars.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  You go Evyon?

• 46:47Speaker 03

  Oh, I go the highest I can get.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  I don't like Evyon.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Every single flight, Kevin.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Every single flight. I steal two of the highest priced waters I can possibly get. You know what?

• 47:00Speaker 02

  International criminal.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Cause fuck the man.

• 47:02H. Foley?

  Walks around the corner, takes the glasses off, doesn't even know what's happening.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  He starts, well, he's not limping anymore.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  He's stealing the glasses. This cocksucker.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  They look good, he's jealous.

• 47:10H. Foley?

  No, they look great.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, fine.

• 47:12H. Foley?

  You always look great, you know that. I'm having fun with you.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  You start with that.

• 47:17H. Foley?

  I always start with that.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  It's like, just, someone's always gotta be the bad guy. You're in like six Hail Mary zone right now, bro.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  What, with you?

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Cut that.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Kev, go ahead. Ask a question.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Dabathy, uh...

• 47:32Speaker 03

  That was like 10 minutes ago.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  And we're back.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Is a garbage to be going to a sporting event and supporting your team by wearing just the colors, not any official merch that they sell? For example, wearing a regular orange hoodie at a Flyers game?

• 47:48Speaker 03

  No. I think that's correct.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  I mean, it depends on it. I think if you're in there like a high-vis orange hoodie, it looks like you should be doing roadwork. That's a tough look.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Well, you know, that's why they put the, that, the high-vis colors on those people. It's not because, like, traffic.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  For the Flyers?

• 48:07Speaker 03

  No, it's not because traffic or Flyers. It's because they're the dumbest people on earth and you have to avoid them. They're violent.

• 48:14H. Foley?

  What, the people that do this, that do the roadwork?

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. You put them in bright colors because they're the most violent [bleep] people you can ever imagine.

• 48:21H. Foley?

  When you try to run them over, they tend to get upset.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. They'll get flipped under the wheels and, and fight you afterwards. Cut that.

• 48:29H. Foley?

  I got two cases.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Anyway, here's the answer.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  I think my cans are broken. They're coming back.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Guys, I'm tired.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Have you been to a Flyers game recently? We went not that long ago. Big man had never been to one. And we figured we'd go. Very nice. They very, gave us, you know, we got to meet Gritty, whole nine yards.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  You guys met Gritty?

• 48:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  He's a bit of a fucking celebrity. He's on the move.

• 48:53H. Foley?

  He's sharp, too.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Dude, he was on the top floor.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  He makes you feel comfortable.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  And he was fucking-

• 48:57Speaker 03

  What's your problem?

• 49:00H. Foley?

  I mentioned the goddamn hallway, didn't I? Gave you a big hug.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. I knew I was in for it.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  Hey, right this way.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. I need a nice hand when you first walk in. You want a Cinnabon? She's gonna be a real cunt in the end.

• 49:15H. Foley?

  Who's getting Cinnabon at their hands? That how you would do it?

• 49:18Speaker 03

  We're doing well this year.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Whoa. I haven't had a Cinnabon in forever.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  You were getting that, stealing at the airport?

• 49:25H. Foley?

  When's the last time you had a Cinnabon?

• 49:28H. Foley?

  I'll check back next week. Folks, Flyers are up to nothing.

• 49:38H. Foley?

  Look at him staring.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Keep it. Keep it, Luke.

• 49:46H. Foley?

  Punk.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  Snot-nosed Brett.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  When's the last time I was at a Flyers game?

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, that's a great question, Tom.

• 49:54H. Foley?

  Ask me that.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Tommy just asked himself a question.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  That's a good question, Tommy. It just hit me.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Thanks for asking. Thanks for stopping by.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Uh, two years ago.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  They're a good time. There's a certain level of trash at a weeknight Flyers game that you don't get at any other... Dude, there's a level of female trash.

• 50:12H. Foley?

  How about those dancers, though?

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Female specifically.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, female specific trash in like a bootleg Flyers hoodie or something.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  The women... You ever been to Montana?

• 50:21H. Foley?

  No.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Montana?

• 50:23H. Foley?

  Don't he?

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Alright, anywhere in the fucking Midwest or fucking Pacific Northwest?

• 50:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:28H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  I know.

• 50:29H. Foley?

  We've been in the Midwest. I know what you mean. Tommy, stay with me.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  A lot of girls that look like they have long johns on under their jeans.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  They're like Russians just getting an M&M CD, right? They're way behind the fucking trends. So the fucking hot ladies, these old bats coming from fucking Doylestown

• 50:51Speaker 03

  or some dog shit.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  You just named my mother.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Bethlehem, yeah.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  They're not coming from a Wednesday night game from Bethlehem.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Yes, they wear fucking...

• 50:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, they are.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  They wear bedazzled...

• 51:00H. Foley?

  That's nothing.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  They wear bedazzled jeans that you would see 15 years ago on a boardwalk. It's crazy. And they get their hair all permed out. They smell like Aqua de Gio.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  Trying to blow gritty.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're trying to suck gritty stick. And I want to say, guys, congrats on meeting Gritty.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Thank you. That was a big, that was a big, uh...

• 51:23H. Foley?

  He welcomes you in, he's doing his thing, puts his arms around you, he's a good guy.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  What'd you do, this to him?

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Forgive me gritty for I understand.

• 51:31Speaker 03

  I just ate three hot dogs. You guys did it at the same time and I like that.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  How you doing? Synergy.

• 51:36H. Foley?

  Talk about the dancers.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, so this is what a... See you. So this is something that, um, you know...

• 51:44H. Foley?

  I've never seen this.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  The energy level, obviously the energy level at a Flyers, at an NHL game is high.

• 51:49H. Foley?

  They got more hot broads working down there.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  This guy's got pussy on the brain.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. What are you talking about?

• 51:56H. Foley?

  My old man.

• 51:56Speaker 03

  It's a fucking ice rink. You're not gonna have some hots?

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Easy.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, see, I helped, I helped. No cut, no cut. Saved you 20 minutes.

• 52:08H. Foley?

  They got the girls down there skating, Tommy.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  Then they have girls coming up-

• 52:11Speaker 02

  The ice ladies who come in, they follow the Zamboni and pick up the snow that's created.

• 52:16H. Foley?

  They're beautiful.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  They're a hopper.

• 52:17H. Foley?

  Then they got cheerleaders that come out every time they switch lines.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  They got cheerleaders the whole game, just right next to you. They were oogling them.

• 52:24H. Foley?

  Really?

• 52:25Speaker 02

  And they switch every, you know.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  Horny boys. You got all horned up.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Whoa, hey, I'm a married man.

• 52:30H. Foley?

  Married man.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Of course you are. That's why you're a horny boy.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  No.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  You're getting nuts with the fucking-

• 52:34Speaker 02

  It's working overtime.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  You're getting nuts for a 23-year-old holding a shovel?

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  Picking up scraps.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Hey, that's the blue collar in me. It's more the shovel than the 23-year-old.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  Picking up scraps from a professional hockey player?

• 52:47H. Foley?

  Trying to get her to hold the post hole digger, but she wouldn't.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Did you ever see a broad in a hard hat? Let me tell you.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, the taquito kings drooling all over your fucking shoulder? You're staring at some 23-year-old dingbat from fucking Temple University?

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Hey, that's a good university. And not everybody graduates on time, honey. You take your time to find yourself.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Get the fuck out of here. Tell those ice whores to get the fuck out of here.

• 53:09H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Where'd you go, Drexel?

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:12H. Foley?

  That's, Philadelphia is your proving ground.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  I know.

• 53:15H. Foley?

  That's your Los Alamos.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  I'm making fun of ice pigs.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Los Alamos.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  Where they tested the atomic bomb. Sure they had tested the atomic bomb, huh?

• 53:22Speaker 03

  You don't say? Luke? Why don't you just talk to you? I love it. You can't-

• 53:26H. Foley?

  Nothing on that?

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Don't glorify ice pigs.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  I'm sorry, Tommy did well in Philly.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  They're ice pigs.

• 53:30H. Foley?

  Unlike you.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  I don't know why.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  Keep the ice pigs. Of course. Of course. These guys are getting nuts about ice pigs. I got you, don't worry. They're not even talking to me.

• 53:44H. Foley?

  Fighting with each other?

• 53:44Speaker 03

  We could just talk to each other. Yeah. It's you and I. And them. Ice pigs.

• 53:49H. Foley?

  Ice pigs.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Ice pigs and air pigs. That's what I call stewardesses.

• 53:53H. Foley?

  Ice pigs?

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Air pigs.

• 53:54H. Foley?

  What?

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Air pigs? Oh, air pigs. Yeah. Horniest, horniest bunch of the lot.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  Steward, flight attendants?

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Oh, you got that much cologne on you, yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Oh, now you don't like my cologne.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  It's starting to give me a headache.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  Bartender!

• 54:12H. Foley?

  He's out of Gatorade, too.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Another round for my men!

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Aura!

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Let's do another question.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  You got a NyQuil for him?

• 54:23H. Foley?

  Should we get started?

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's... Fire it up, dude.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  A great question, Dabathy.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:32H. Foley?

  I was always big on that.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  On what?

• 54:34H. Foley?

  We never got the, we never got the, uh, you know, the licensed merch.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  The official merch. It was harder to come by back in the day.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  Well, we never got it anyway. It was a green hoodie, it was a fucking maroon pair of sweatpants or something like that.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Who were you rooting for in that maroon sweatpants?

• 54:48Speaker 03

  The Redskins?

• 54:49Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 54:50H. Foley?

  Yeah. From the 80's. What would've been stripes back then?

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Maroon? Is there shit running down your leg?

• 54:56H. Foley?

  What?

• 54:56Speaker 03

  What do you mean, maroon?

• 54:57H. Foley?

  Maroon, the red. That's maroon.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  We're talking about the fucking Eagles and Flyers.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  He was saying he had maroon for the Phillies.

• 55:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Also, you in a pair of maroon sweatpants. Trying to hide a boner at 10 years old.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  I wasn't even thinking about the Phillies.

• 55:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, tight as shit.

• 55:13Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  I had something-

• 55:15Speaker 03

  I'm a real fucking maroon right now.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 55:19H. Foley?

  Tight as shit, and had the three, three stripes going down.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was all your veins.

• 55:25H. Foley?

  I was lifting. Uh, yeah, it was bad. And it was the kind of sweatpants that didn't have, um, cinched bottoms at the bottom.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  That was good and bad.

• 55:35H. Foley?

  They were just sweatpants.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Like a pair of slacks.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a pair of slacks.

• 55:40H. Foley?

  They sucked.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Well-

• 55:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, pleated sweatpants.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  With a button.

• 55:44Speaker 03

  Four-man move.

• 55:46H. Foley?

  I wore them one time and this fat kid sat on me at school.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  There was a kid fatter than you.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  How big was this fucking dude?

• 55:52H. Foley?

  He's a big boy.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 55:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, I've told you this, they poured chocolate milk down his butt crack.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  No, I've seen Jupiter sit on the moon.

• 55:59H. Foley?

  Talking about retrograde, huh? Tommy. You got that, right?

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Guys, cut that.

• 56:04H. Foley?

  No, what are you, crazy?

• 56:06Speaker 02

  That's all I got.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Luke, get me a drink.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Um...

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Chris-

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Where's that cannoli?

• 56:14Speaker 02

  You, you guys... You guys are a little older. Those sweatpants weren't, they be got, they got not cool. The ones with the cinched bottom.

• 56:22H. Foley?

  I got news for you, dickhead, they weren't cool then. I was, fat guys were sitting on me. I was closing ass in these things.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  I'm saying.

• 56:33H. Foley?

  Read the room. I took my Lixton too.

• 56:40H. Foley?

  I wasn't speeding away in an IROC with some hairdresser. I was getting bullied by the other fat kid in school. You know how bad it's gotta be?

• 56:48Speaker 02

  That sucks, dude.

• 56:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:52H. Foley?

  We're gonna take turns bullying each other.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Flicking each other's fur.

• 56:59H. Foley?

  Eventually.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Playing doctor in the woods.

• 57:04H. Foley?

  Hey, your cholesterol's high. Your cholesterol's high.

• 57:09H. Foley?

  Jerk me over and shut up.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  Ah, what a good man. Thanks, Diesel.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Thank you, Diesel.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  Thank you, ravioli.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  I like that kid.

• 57:21H. Foley?

  He's the best.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  He's a grown man. He's got a beard.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  I hog on him too.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  There?

• 57:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Speaker 03

  Italian?

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:34H. Foley?

  I'm supposed to be a little Italian, Emmy. Ain't down there, I'll tell you.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  You're hanging out with Tommy and you might.

• 57:39H. Foley?

  I'm supposed to be. What'd you do, a dog DNA? What do you mean, "supposed to be"?

• 57:47Speaker 02

  I got worms. I thought I was Italian. Turns out I'm a super mu- with worms.

• 57:54H. Foley?

  Husky?

• 57:57H. Foley?

  Twice.

• 58:01Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 58:03H. Foley?

  So, orange sweatshirts, huh?

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I agree. Wear colors that are close.

• 58:09H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I agree.

• 58:11H. Foley?

  Clip that, we're good.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Everybody, you don't have, you know, some people don't have means, of course.

• 58:15H. Foley?

  That's flyers, dig. Expensive, too.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  It's also like, they got like, very stylish. We haven't been in a while. That store we were looking in was like, very like, it was like geared to wear, not to a game. It's like geared to wear.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  To work, kinda.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  Geared to wear? That'd be a pretty good store. Geared to wear?

• 58:33Speaker 02

  There was a, there was-

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Cut that.

• 58:35H. Foley?

  Geared to weer? No. Gear? Wait, wait. Gear?

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Kev, you're so frustrated. I'm sorry, dude.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  No, not at all.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  He's the one that said it weird, and so I thought it rhymed, but geared to wears doesn't rhyme. I don't get nobody in there.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  He's still going. He's still going.

• 58:50H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm trying to come up with ideas here.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Hence the pen in your hand?

• 58:54H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  You're not writing shit.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, I do. I've been writing a lot.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  You've got paper in front of you.

• 58:59H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 59:02Speaker 02

  What?

• 59:04H. Foley?

  I write on my thing. It's a micro pen.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  A micro penis.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Hey, keep that.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  That's Irish.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  Keep that bomb.

• 59:14H. Foley?

  I don't know why I like having it in my hand.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  That would, Luke, hit it with laughter.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  What?

• 59:22Speaker 03

  Hulu special.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  Keep this.

• 59:27H. Foley?

  Tommy's got rabies.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Luke.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  I'm now on my second page of edits. That's just crazy. It's just so crazy to turn around for tomorrow.

• 59:39H. Foley?

  That's a couple of snips.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Give us a shit.

• 59:42H. Foley?

  Tommy will do it with you.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  Cut that.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Cut it. And we're back. Oh my god, dabity. What a great question.

• 59:47H. Foley?

  It's Italian for cookie.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Um, alright, let's see. This one's from Mr. Gambini, Alabama Utlaw. $10 allowance funder here. I've never thought of this. This is about my family specifically. It feels very Philly trash. Are you garbage if you have siblings with similar names? My mom is Denise and I have an Uncle Den, which would be Dennis. So there's a Dennis and Denise. That's similar to like having a Danielle and a Daniel.

• 1:00:15H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Which I never picked up, but yeah, that's real fucking trashy.

• 1:00:19H. Foley?

  A lot of families do all K's or like all something like that.

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  You know?

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  I have, like I've said-

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  Kathy, Chris.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  I love how you named Chris. It's predominantly a C.

• 1:00:31H. Foley?

  The Kardashians are like that. They're all K. Nice ladies.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  100%.

• 1:00:36H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  It's garbage.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  It took me, took us doing the show to, I said my cousin Kevin and you were like, I have, there's two Kevins at the cousin level of my family.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  There's six names where we're from.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  There's like six or seven names.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  On both the female and male. There's like, pick something different.

• 1:00:55H. Foley?

  Give them to me.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, give me a-

• 1:00:56H. Foley?

  Joe.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Bridget.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  Tommy.

• 1:00:59H. Foley?

  Tommy.

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  Johnny.

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  Johnny.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Frank.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  Michael.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  Mike.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  It's all saints.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  Chris.

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  Peter.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Pete, Paul.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  Gabriel.

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  Get the fuck out of here, Gabriel. Look at this guy. You in confession again? He said Gabriel. How many Gabriels you know?

• 1:01:16H. Foley?

  I know a couple.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  You know a couple Gabriels?

• 1:01:18H. Foley?

  Gabriel Iglesias.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  You know Gabriel Iglesias.

• 1:01:21H. Foley?

  I do.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  And we're talking friends in Philly.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  We're boys.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  How many fucking Gabriels do you know?

• 1:01:27H. Foley?

  Saint Gabriels, the bad school for boys.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Foley, stay focused. We're talking about trash names.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  You know you're jammed up when he's telling you to stay focused.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  Yikes.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  Get on the Concerta.

• 1:01:37H. Foley?

  Paul's a name everybody has?

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  We already said Paul.

• 1:01:42H. Foley?

  Peter.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Mary?

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  I can't, dude.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  I'm trying.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Are ya?

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  You're not being a good captain right now, Jeff.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, no shit.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Fighting a two-front war.

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  Very generic.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  This one's good. Is it garbage a share, one chip clip on multiple bags?

• 1:01:59H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  That's a real derby. I was, I always thought-

• 1:02:01H. Foley?

  That saved the show. Hold on, hold on, I'm gonna take this off. Foley's got this.

• 1:02:09H. Foley?

  Go ahead, babe. Tell, tell him the truth.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  That was always classy to me.

• 1:02:14H. Foley?

  What, sharing chip clips?

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, because they were all very done in order. And it was like, all of your chips are in the same place. Also, it's trash.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  I like it. Just take the whole thing, bring it over to the fucking table.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  Take it up to your bedroom. You and the other fat kid can eat it up there.

• 1:02:31H. Foley?

  You leave Paul alone.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Peter.

• 1:02:36H. Foley?

  His name was Paul.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  I believe you.

• 1:02:38H. Foley?

  He was a good kid.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  Okay. Um.

• 1:02:41H. Foley?

  He's doing a little time right now.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Paul is.

• 1:02:44H. Foley?

  Hey! Mr. Pope's falling asleep in class.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, four scotches'll do that.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Fucking breaking my balls. This guy's drinking brown liquor during the day.

• 1:03:01H. Foley?

  Are you gonna shave that? Do you have to shave it for the shirt? I don't remember you having a beard like that last season.

• 1:03:08Speaker 03

  Look it up.

• 1:03:09H. Foley?

  Alright. Check it out, IMBD.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  International Movie Database.

• 1:03:14H. Foley?

  Is that what it's called?

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  That's when the satellite's gonna-

• 1:03:19H. Foley?

  Alright, I think we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  No we don't.

• 1:03:21H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  No we don't.

• 1:03:22H. Foley?

  We're having a good time, Kevin.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Let's get to the real garbage, come on.

• 1:03:27H. Foley?

  Tommy, it's over.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  It's not over. I'm not leaving you guys. I haven't seen you in a while. I'm having fun.

• 1:03:32H. Foley?

  Tell your face.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  It's true though. Look, I feel like, I feel like I look like I'm having fun.

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  We're having a good time. What do you mean we're still having fun?

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  Keep me in just a freeze frame like this.

• 1:03:47H. Foley?

  Everybody quit screwing around. We're having a good time.

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  We're having a great time.

• 1:03:50H. Foley?

  Yes. Kevin.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  Kev, what's your fucking problem?

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  What are you, happy?

• 1:03:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  That's your problem.

• 1:03:57H. Foley?

  Give me a goddamn drink.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's your problem. You got a beautiful baby, beautiful wife, a dog. That's your fucking problem. Me and Foley over here, trying to have a good podcast and get fucking real nuts about shit. Read a question that we don't want to answer.

• 1:04:14H. Foley?

  I've been doing that, I don't know if you picked up on it. Do it again! I think that whiskey might be expired. What'd you say? I think that whiskey must be expired.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  This shit asshole bitch.

• 1:04:24H. Foley?

  This guy's all jacked up on Tylix. Gang, we love you to death. Tommy, we love you.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  We gotta wrap it up. Goodnight everybody, peace!

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  No!