Pretty Little Episode #98

Fortune and Tig talk tummy-rumbles and live the good life on today's super-Handsome Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:16Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode.

• 0:19Tig Notaro?

  Hi, it's your friend Tigno Taro, sitting here with my co-host, Fortune Feimster. And this is a pretty little episode, is it not?

• 0:30Fortune Feimster?

  It sure is. It feels very pretty to me. Um, in your office, I know you have that gavel that makes your office officially an office. I have this.

• 0:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh, Fortune, is this new, or have you had this?

• 0:45Fortune Feimster?

  I, this is from when I guest hosted Jimmy Kimmel, and I just found it. And I was like, I think I need this in my office to make it an official office.

• 0:55Tig Notaro?

  Is it on the edge of your desk?

• 0:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's right up here.

• 0:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, love it.

• 0:59Fortune Feimster?

  And so if anyone wants to take a meeting with me,

• 1:02Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 1:03Fortune Feimster?

  they know whose office this is.

• 1:06Tig Notaro?

  Okay, I have my ex's parents in a coaster on my desk.

• 1:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:17Fortune Feimster?

  I just realized that people listening don't know what I held up. It's my name, it's a nameplate of my name.

• 1:23Tig Notaro?

  Nobody's listening.

• 1:27Fortune Feimster?

  They could only see that on a video.

• 1:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:30Fortune Feimster?

  And yeah, you have your ex's parents. That's the, those are the parents you're close to.

• 1:35Tig Notaro?

  Yes, they have been like, uh, parents to me. Thomas has met them. Um, yeah, they are just delightful elderly folk living in the middle of cornfields. And, um, my wife and children and I go visit them on our family vacations.

• 1:56Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 1:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Anyway.

• 1:59Fortune Feimster?

  Any hoosels?

• 2:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:01Fortune Feimster?

  You having a good day?

• 2:02Tig Notaro?

  I am. I've been out of town and I have this thing that's a blessing and a curse. My assistant set up a slideshow on my laptop. So when it goes to sleep or whatever, it just plays all the hits.

• 2:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:17Tig Notaro?

  Of photos. And it is so nice to be able to see my family and cats. But it also, I'm like, get me home.

• 2:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:29Tig Notaro?

  Get me home. So that's been an interesting new part of my touring life is I

• 2:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:37Tig Notaro?

  am, because I, I mean, how often do you really scroll through your photos? Or videos? Or maybe you do.

• 2:43Fortune Feimster?

  Not, not often.

• 2:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And so having that on my computer is so, so nice. So, yeah, I've been gone, I don't know, almost two weeks, maybe?

• 2:57Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  And got home yesterday and then Stephanie and I went to a dinner last night. And then this morning, we, Finn went to camp and then we went to a movie with Max. I saw a movie.

• 3:14Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh. What movie?

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  That new Spielberg movie.

• 3:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. How was it?

• 3:21Tig Notaro?

  It was good. Max loved it.

• 3:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:25Tig Notaro?

  App, I mean, aliens and all sorts of stuff. He was just like digging it.

• 3:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Tig Notaro?

  But I hadn't seen a movie since Forrest Gump a few months ago.

• 3:38Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 3:39Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 3:40Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's cool. I love, y'all went to, yeah, because it's in the theater. So you went to the movies.

• 3:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we went to the movies.

• 3:47Fortune Feimster?

  I luck one to the movies.

• 3:50Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, we should have invited you.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  I was home. I was available.

• 3:54Tig Notaro?

  I should have asked you.

• 3:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's been the day is like when they each have camp, the other one get, has a free week and then gets special day and special time.

• 4:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:09Tig Notaro?

  So.

• 4:09Fortune Feimster?

  One on one time, you mean? Or two on one?

• 4:12Tig Notaro?

  Well, however, the numbers.

• 4:14Fortune Feimster?

  However, shakes out.

• 4:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah, I'm home for, I think until Saturday and then I

• 4:22Tig Notaro?

  Go off again for like a week, but anyway.

• 4:26Fortune Feimster?

  Love that.

• 4:27Tig Notaro?

  All is good. What about yourself?

• 4:30Fortune Feimster?

  I'm good. I just filmed something. I don't think I can say what it was yet, but it it requires you to eat food.

• 4:38Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 4:39Fortune Feimster?

  Um.

• 4:40Tig Notaro?

  Was it good?

• 4:42Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it's food I normally like, but they amp it up a lot.

• 4:48Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 4:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, my stomach's just in a little bit of a like.

• 4:55Fortune Feimster?

  Rumble, rumble.

• 4:56Tig Notaro?

  Like it, like you had too much or?

• 5:00Fortune Feimster?

  No, it it does something to your palate that messes you up.

• 5:04Tig Notaro?

  Okay. And when do you ima- did they say you should be good by this time or you should be?

• 5:11Fortune Feimster?

  I think it affects everybody's body differently.

• 5:14Tig Notaro?

  All right. Okay, well.

• 5:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, tomorrow, maybe.

• 5:18Tig Notaro?

  If you get a good rumble, can you move the mic down?

• 5:21Fortune Feimster?

  And so you can hear it? Yeah, I'll let you in on that.

• 5:24Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 5:26Tig Notaro?

  Did you have a good time taping?

• 5:28Fortune Feimster?

  I had a very good time. We're doing press uh now for the Hawk that's coming out mid-July, the golf show with Will Ferrell.

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so I was filming this with him and Jimmy Tatro, who's in the show as well.

• 5:42Tig Notaro?

  Awesome.

• 5:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so it's a good day, um, other than my tummies.

• 5:47Tig Notaro?

  And that show also has Shan- Molly Shannon, right?

• 5:50Fortune Feimster?

  It does, but she, I don't know if she's out of town, but she didn't, she was, I think, asked to do this, but didn't do it.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 5:57Fortune Feimster?

  But I think, yeah, she might be out of town, but.

• 5:59Tig Notaro?

  Or she's just riding her bike around my neighborhood.

• 6:02Fortune Feimster?

  She might be doing that, too. But we're about to all, for like two weeks in July, be doing a bunch of press together.

• 6:11Tig Notaro?

  Well, gear up. Yeah. I'm sure it's a massive press tour.

• 6:16Fortune Feimster?

  I think so, yeah.

• 6:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:18Tig Notaro?

  Cool.

• 6:19Fortune Feimster?

  So the people will have to check it out when it comes out. Little Cowboys in uh two of the episodes, I believe.

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  Oh, really? I thought it was just one. That's great.

• 6:27Fortune Feimster?

  I I think it, well, maybe it's one, but I thought it stretched out to two. I I'm not sure. Don't quote, don't quote me on that, Tig.

• 6:35Tig Notaro?

  I quote you all the time.

• 6:38Fortune Feimster?

  Well, should we get to some questions? Yeah, let's get to some questions.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Hi, Handsoms. This is Ryan. Love the pod. Love you guys. Funny little stories that my wife and I separately got into your podcast and kept it secret from each other because we didn't think it was a podcast the other would enjoy. And then we both found out that, oh, we both love it. So we're enjoying it all.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Question for you. This is a question I ask lots of people in my life. If you had to summarize how to live a handsome and good life in a single word, what would that word be? And why? Give me an explanation of what's it all about.

• 7:20Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm. Wait, so if you could live a handsome, good life? Wait, I think I missed-

• 7:26Tig Notaro?

  Use one word to describe a handsome and good life?

• 7:31Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 7:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I would. My immediate thought was openness.

• 7:36Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 7:37Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Because if you're open about who you are, if your communication is open with people, if you are open to change and, um, I don't know. That just, that was the first word that struck me. And I feel like when everything's cleared out and open.

• 7:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 7:56Tig Notaro?

  You can be who you are and you can do your thing.

• 7:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's a good one, Tig.

• 8:04Tig Notaro?

  Thank you, Fortune. Let's hear your good one.

• 8:06Fortune Feimster?

  The word that came to mind for me was authenticity.

• 8:10Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:11Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, living your life.

• 8:14Tig Notaro?

  Uh. Open?

• 8:15Fortune Feimster?

  Let, oh, open. But, um, yeah, being who you are, um, being true to yourself.

• 8:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 8:24Fortune Feimster?

  Um, being, uh, you know, just like not living your life for other people and not always feeling like you have to do what's expected of you based on- Pressure or norms or anything, you're just like staying true to your own beliefs and what makes you happy, but you know, also being a good person. But yeah, I think that, you know, that song, "I Did It My Way," kind of makes me think of that.

• 8:55Tig Notaro?

  You wrote that?

• 8:56Fortune Feimster?

  I did write that. Oh, I went back in time.

• 9:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and you did it your way.

• 9:02Fortune Feimster?

  And I did it my way. Gave it to Frank Sinatra.

• 9:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I remember that day.

• 9:11Fortune Feimster?

  "I did it my way."

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  Such a good song.

• 9:15Fortune Feimster?

  Some more tunes for you.

• 9:17Tig Notaro?

  I love that he and his wife secretly listened to Handsome. See, that's the importance of being open.

• 9:24Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  See what openness did?

• 9:26Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. I like that.

• 9:29Tig Notaro?

  I like you too.

• 9:29Fortune Feimster?

  Way to bring it full circle.

• 9:31Tig Notaro?

  That's what I do. Well, and a whole full circle is open. Should we go to our next question?

• 9:36Fortune Feimster?

  Just like, uh, well, sorry.

• 9:40Tig Notaro?

  That's okay. It's really okay this time, Fortune Marie, it's okay.

• 9:47Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, there's a, um, I had to tell you, a listener of Handsome crocheted me a cute little, um, I don't-

• 9:57Tig Notaro?

  Pair of underpants?

• 9:59Fortune Feimster?

  No, that's cute. Um, crocheted this little, it's like in the shape of like a picture. It's framed and it says Fortune Marie exclamation mark, and it's got like flowers around it. And I put it on my new bar cart.

• 10:17Tig Notaro?

  That is so cute.

• 10:19Fortune Feimster?

  It made me laugh, the thought of like, I have three bourbons and then that sign. And it made me think like, Fortune Marie, are you really gonna have a drink?

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune Marie, don't drink. Not that I ever, I'm not a big drinker. I like a drink.

• 10:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Fortune Feimster?

  But it just gave me a good chuckle to think that this sign is yelling at me to drink responsibly.

• 10:43Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie, don't drink too much and then drive your bar cart around the house.

• 10:49Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 10:52Fortune Feimster?

  So, thank you to that handsome listener for that cute little Fortune Marie.

• 10:57Tig Notaro?

  There's so many handsome listeners on my tour, on all of our tours. It's wild, wild. Yeah.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  For me, what I think of to live a good life is kindness. I think that makes everything work better. Uh, if you're kind to the people around you, good things will come your way. If you're kind to yourself, you'll be fulfilled. And at the end of the day, kindness beats everything else. All right. Thanks so much. Love you guys a lot. Uh, Fortune, we get to see you in a couple of days in Portland, Maine. Very excited for it.

• 11:30Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yay. Awesome.

• 11:32Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 11:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:34Fortune Feimster?

  Kindness is good.

• 11:36Tig Notaro?

  Kindness is not a terrible thing.

• 11:38Fortune Feimster?

  Authentic.

• 11:39Tig Notaro?

  And open.

• 11:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:48Tig Notaro?

  What else we got on the docket, the dicket?

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  Nice one.

• 11:53Tig Notaro?

  Thank you. I still got it.

• 11:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you do.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Hi Tig and/or Fortune and/or May. My name is Bruce. I am in North Carolina and I desperately need your advice. So for context, I am 33 years old and I just finished my PhD last year and I moved to North Carolina for a job that is perfect for me. Like, I really enjoy it. It really uses my skill sets well. It uses my PhD. It's great. However, the location I'm in is, is not ideal. Like, I'm not very socially fulfilled. There's not a large queer community. It's not great. And previous to this, I was living in Boston, which I loved. And I started dating someone that easily could have been the love of my life. But then I got this job and moved

• 12:39Speaker 04

  to North Carolina. So we broke up. And so now I'm just like, what, what are we doing? Are we, are we living to work? Or are we working to live? And is that something that has changed for you all? Do you consciously think about it? Give me your advice. It could, you know, very easily change the course of my, my life. So no pressure. All right. Thank you, guys.

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  What do you think? I mean,

• 13:07Fortune Feimster?

  I think you've been better about that lately, right? Finding the balance.

• 13:12Tig Notaro?

  You know, I was just talking about this at that dinner last night about how I have been trying. And then I can't, it's so tricky because it's like, I made serious changes and shifted things in my life. And then it happened to overlap with the success of the documentary, which made me so busy, you know? And so I didn't fully experience

• 13:46Tig Notaro?

  that. But I used to plow through and towards, plow through my material and my tour and trying to get to the next thing. And I just, that's where it's really changed for me. Like, I'm just taking it much slower. I'm, I'm, I'm just doing a weekend a month, which I just used to not do at all.

• 14:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:18Tig Notaro?

  And so that feels, that feels good. But I, I'm curious to see how this new year come, you know, like what, what's coming? Because if I maintain that and podcasting, that's a pretty sweet gig. And the popping in and out of movies and TV shows, I'm all about it.

• 14:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  That is, that feels like a schedule I can work with. And it, but it's not anything I've fully experienced yet because of the wonderful success of the documentary. So I don't know if I can. I don't know. I don't know the answer.

• 15:00Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 15:00Tig Notaro?

  But you are from North Carolina, so I feel like you're holding

• 15:03Fortune Feimster?

  I am.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  the key

• 15:05Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 15:06Tig Notaro?

  to Ruth's future.

• 15:08Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I think when you're younger, that is the time to sort of take those risks in regards to career. Because you want to set your life up in a way where it's comfortable, hopefully. You've done some hard work. And so at some point in your life, you can take it easier and enjoy the fruits of that labor. That's kind of how I look at it.

• 15:34Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. It makes me bummed for Ruth about that relationship that like,

• 15:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:40Fortune Feimster?

  it could have been, you know, that person, there was clearly a strong connection there that could have been the love of her life. So I would have, I would have been like,

• 15:49Fortune Feimster?

  could that have still worked? Like,

• 15:51Tig Notaro?

  And maybe it will down the road.

• 15:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, maybe. It's kind of like, well, why not give that long distance thing a go? I've done it in the past and some, you know, I don't know. I always kind of think like, give it a whirl. Same, same as like, taking risks with work, why not take risks there as well? And if it becomes a thing that's like, oh, this isn't working, then you know, you've gone down that road. But you know, with work, I'm certainly not one to give advice because I work all the time. But I work all the time because I, I don't work to live. I genuinely love my work.

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  It brings me a great deal of joy. I've probably had some things in my life fall apart, maybe because of that commitment to that work. But I got fulfilled.

• 16:49Fortune Feimster?

  In that way, going on the road, doing shows, filming something, taping a podcast. My cup felt full because I was doing something I love. But sometimes other people's cup feels not as full because you're not around. And so, yeah, I think there are sacrifices that come with it when you've sort of dedicated your life to a certain thing. So you just have to kind of decide what is important to you. Is, is, do you love your work so much that you're willing to sacrifice some of those things for it? Or if, does that, do you feel empty in that you've, you're working a lot and you're not

• 17:33Fortune Feimster?

  being fulfilled by that and it's affecting your personal life? Does that make sense?

• 17:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, Ruth was saying she really loves her job. And so it does feel like something to go towards for a beat. See how that, I don't know how long Ruth, maybe I wasn't listening, but I don't know how Ruth has, how long Ruth has been at this job. But the other thing that I always like to tell people to do is if you're not meeting friends or romantic interests in your day to day life, switch up the route that you take. Go to different places. Go to, find a whole new coffee shop, become a regular there. Find a new restaurant. Find a new park to walk your dog. Just make yourself available.

• 18:21Tig Notaro?

  Because I always think of all of the different lives and worlds I could have started if I had just gone left, you know? And, and then all of a sudden you see your town in a whole different way.

• 18:36Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I've had, I've had my course changed significantly because I decided to go to one thing instead of another thing.

• 18:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:47Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so you truly never know. But I think even, even, I would say with work, you're young enough to like be focused on your work and have that be a priority. But maybe like, uh, also like, I don't know what you're into Ruth, but like, say you are into tennis or soccer, like join a league once a week so that you have. Um, you know, something outside of work that, that you have to look forward to. I played soccer in a league for 15 years before, um, COVID.

• 19:21Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 19:21Fortune Feimster?

  It was every Monday night and that was like my sacred time for me. Like I let no work things get in the way of it ever. And I like really loved having that thing for myself.

• 19:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:34Fortune Feimster?

  So whatever that thing might be for you, I would, I would maybe also, you know, put that into your routine as well.

• 19:41Tig Notaro?

  Ruth, sounds like you have a soccer career coming your way.

• 19:45Fortune Feimster?

  Or something.

• 19:46Tig Notaro?

  Let us know how it goes.

• 19:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Whatever you're into Ruth, find it so that you have balance.

• 19:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Go get them Ruth.

• 19:55Fortune Feimster?

  Ruth, you got this.

• 19:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:57Fortune Feimster?

  And who knows what is ahead of, for you in the love department.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  Good things.

• 20:03Fortune Feimster?

  Nice North Carolina gal out there.

• 20:05Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. Well, thank you, uh, for the questions. They're always a delight to hear and, um, submit questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com/hansampod.

• 20:19Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 20:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:21Fortune Feimster?

  Do that. Hit us up y'all. We like to hear what you got to say.

• 20:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Hit us up. And also I have new dates added to tignotaro.com. Head over there, get your tickets and come see me in the flesh.

• 20:36Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm. Yeah. Same here. I'm doing a lot of fun shows coming up in August up in the Northeast. Like Province Town and West Hampton Beach and Foxwood Casinos and Red Bank, New Jersey. Get on it.

• 20:51Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. And until next time.

• 20:54Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 21:00Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Theme Store. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media at handsomepod.

• 21:18Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 21:19Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast.

• 21:24Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.