Michael Urie asks about encounters with strangers

Michael Urie of "Shrinking" asks about memorable encounters with strangers on a heartfelt, hilarious episode of Handsome! Plus Snickers slogans, "stripped sea bass," Handsome piñatas, and more! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepod and Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/b583d0bc-eeb0-4560-8b2b-5c8ae0248a19?play=false&utm_source=shared_linkThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium professional website.

• 0:24Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons, Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 0:56Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANDSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  Looking for big flavor and even bigger savings? You gotta head to Royal Farms. Right now, get an eight-piece mixed chicken meal or a 10-piece dark chicken meal for just 15 bucks, including a 2-liter Coke. It's an easy, delicious meal the whole family can enjoy. Or grab a deli or chicken salad sub with Ropero chips and a 20-ounce Canada Dry Soda for only 6 bucks. Fresh food, great deals, and world-famous flavor in every bite. Stop by Royal Farms today. Royal Farms, real fresh, real fast.

• 1:38Tig Notaro?

  Handsome, chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

• 1:49Mae Martin?

  Cheers.

• 1:50Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the handsome pod. It's your friend Tig Notaro, and I'm sitting here with my co-host.

• 1:56Mae Martin?

  Mae Martin.

• 1:57Fortune Feimster?

  I'm Ford and Veeemster.

• 1:59Tig Notaro?

  Hey.

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  I just took a bite of something right as our theme song played.

• 2:03Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's because we're a professional operation. What do you, what do you have?

• 2:07Fortune Feimster?

  Snickers.

• 2:08Tig Notaro?

  Snickers, it really satisfies.

• 2:10Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not sponsored by them.

• 2:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:13Mae Martin?

  The way you're holding it is very...

• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  But what, um, what is their, what is their little catchphrase?

• 2:22Tig Notaro?

  Snickers, it really satisfies.

• 2:24Fortune Feimster?

  The quicker picker-upper.

• 2:25Tig Notaro?

  The quicker picker-upper?

• 2:27Fortune Feimster?

  No, it's definitely not the quicker picker-upper. It satisfies.

• 2:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:31Fortune Feimster?

  Um, if I was sponsored by them, they'd fire me right now because I don't know any information.

• 2:37Tig Notaro?

  Well, um, let me ask you this. Do you ever eat them frozen? That used to be my favorite.

• 2:42Fortune Feimster?

  I don't eat these frozen, but I love a ice cream Snickers bar.

• 2:47Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, me too. Ice cream Snickers is great.

• 2:50Tig Notaro?

  And you haven't, is it that you're not interested in freezing a regular Snickers bar? Or you just haven't yet?

• 2:57Fortune Feimster?

  I just never think about it.

• 2:58Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, you must do it. Snickers used to be my favorite meal, and I basically lived off of that.

• 3:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:06Tig Notaro?

  Uh, king-size Snicker bars. Um, I remember a girlfriend of mine, she was like, we were out somewhere in public and I was eating a king-size Snicker bar, and she was like, "Are you not embarrassed?" And I was like...

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  Dare she?

• 3:21Tig Notaro?

  It was like, it never dawned on me to be embarrassed.

• 3:25Fortune Feimster?

  About chomping down on a...

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:27Fortune Feimster?

  I'm currently eating one and not embarrassed.

• 3:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I, I was like, "Oh, okay, is that weird?" Um, but, uh, yeah, I used to love freezing them. And then, uh, just chipping away at it. And my God, is that something I loved as a non-vegan.

• 3:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:47Mae Martin?

  So their slogan is, "It's satisfying?"

• 3:50Tig Notaro?

  Snickers.

• 3:51Fortune Feimster?

  We never got to the bottom of this, mate.

• 3:53Tig Notaro?

  It really satisfies.

• 3:53Fortune Feimster?

  Do I need to Google this?

• 3:54Mae Martin?

  Maybe.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  Thomas can Google it up, right?

• 3:58Mae Martin?

  I wouldn't mind knowing because that's gonna drive me nuts. Think about...

• 4:01Fortune Feimster?

  Satisfies?

• 4:02Mae Martin?

  Do you think we should have gone into...

• 4:04Fortune Feimster?

  Snickers satisfies. That's their phrase, which seems too simple.

• 4:09Mae Martin?

  Someone came up with that and was like, nailed it.

• 4:11Fortune Feimster?

  It's their famous marketing slogan.

• 4:14Mae Martin?

  The quicker picker-upper is better.

• 4:16Fortune Feimster?

  I don't feel good about all this Snickers promo for nothing.

• 4:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, different Snickers slogans. Candy at its best.

• 4:24Mae Martin?

  Okay, over the years, they've had different ones. 1930, candy at its best.

• 4:28Tig Notaro?

  1930 was around?

• 4:29Fortune Feimster?

  I need to go back to that one. That's fun.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, 2010, 2010, they had, um, "You're not you when you're hungry." That rings a bell.

• 4:39Tig Notaro?

  None of this rings a bell.

• 4:41Fortune Feimster?

  Why wait? Oh, I remember, hungry, why wait? I remember that.

• 4:44Tig Notaro?

  None of it, except satisfying.

• 4:46Fortune Feimster?

  Grab a Snickers. You guys just never know how we're gonna start one of these. By the way, I just went to a lovely coffee shop. I'm traveling right now because I'm gonna go to a, another World Cup game. Yeah!

• 4:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 5:00Tig Notaro?

  You go, Billy.

• 5:01Mae Martin?

  Dream.

• 5:02Fortune Feimster?

  And I stopped by a little coffee shop in New Jersey run by lesbians, and I walked in, and, um, one of them had on, uh, Keep it Handsome, sleeveless tee.

• 5:14Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 5:15Fortune Feimster?

  Swear to goodness.

• 5:18Tig Notaro?

  Did her mind explode when you walked in?

• 5:21Fortune Feimster?

  I'd been there a long time ago, so they had, I had met them before, but they were just like, "Ah!" It was not a planned thing, obviously.

• 5:29Mae Martin?

  Do you guys ever worry that we live in like the Truman Show and no one's listening to this podcast and, and someone's just pranking us and like, knowing where we're gonna be and putting people in handsome merch and it's all a big charade?

• 5:43Tig Notaro?

  It hasn't crossed my mind, but I'm okay with it if that's happening, you know?

• 5:48Mae Martin?

  That's true, I guess.

• 5:49Fortune Feimster?

  I am in a recliner, though.

• 5:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:51Tig Notaro?

  That's good-looking.

• 5:53Mae Martin?

  Is that unrelated?

• 5:54Fortune Feimster?

  I am in a recliner, though.

• 5:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you look comfy.

• 5:57Fortune Feimster?

  It made me think about the Truman Show. I don't know why a recliner, maybe that made me think of that as well.

• 6:04Tig Notaro?

  Well, can you please, um, tell us, um, did you have a happy birthday?

• 6:09Fortune Feimster?

  I had an amazing birthday.

• 6:11Tig Notaro?

  Oh, good.

• 6:12Fortune Feimster?

  It was lovely. I took a little vacation, uh, for a couple days. I went to Mexico.

• 6:18Mae Martin?

  Oh, did you have good food?

• 6:20Tig Notaro?

  You know what, Fortune? I'd never noticed your accent before.

• 6:25Fortune Feimster?

  Ate some frijoles, y cerveza, y tequila. Um, I just wanted to go somewhere.

• 6:35Tig Notaro?

  Did you get crunk?

• 6:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, on my birthday eve, um, because the, the hotel had a, um, they do a dinner once a week.

• 6:46Tig Notaro?

  Uh, once a week?

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  Just once a week. No, like a special dinner.

• 6:50Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 6:51Fortune Feimster?

  And I don't know that it's every week, but it happened to fall on my birthday, and it's in their garden. And so they, all, all the food comes from local farmers and all the herbs come from their garden. So it's all farm-to-table, increíble, as you say. And it was open bar.

• 7:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, boy.

• 7:10Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no.

• 7:11Fortune Feimster?

  I was like, "I'm gonna buy a ticket to this thing because it's my birthday and this is gonna feel like they threw this dinner for me."

• 7:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:17Fortune Feimster?

  Even though they didn't. Um, and it was awesome.

• 7:22Mae Martin?

  Did you keep going ding ding ding ding and making speeches to the whole?

• 7:27Tig Notaro?

  What did you have at your farm-to-table meal?

• 7:30Fortune Feimster?

  Um, they went around with little baby corns, um, covered in...

• 7:35Mae Martin?

  Why are Tig and I just so charmed by that? Baby corns. It was like...

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  You know, they are cute, though. Yeah, yeah.

• 7:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:43Fortune Feimster?

  It was covered in some kind of green sauce that was incredible.

• 7:46Tig Notaro?

  Probably it's baby diarrhea.

• 7:47Fortune Feimster?

  Fresh tortillas being made. And she just put like this tomatilla and avocado mix with salt on it. It was so good.

• 7:58Mae Martin?

  God.

• 7:59Fortune Feimster?

  Um, then they had this little mushroom, like crispy tart thing. That's all the apps. And then, um, an amazing salad with chopped up jicama and, um...

• 8:11Mae Martin?

  So far, I haven't heard about any meat. And this is...

• 8:14Tig Notaro?

  There is meat coming, sorry.

• 8:15Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay, okay, okay. But still, so far, Tig could have indulged.

• 8:20Fortune Feimster?

  I know. The dressing was made from their local honey, some kind of honey vinaigrette beef juice. Um, then there was a, a stripped bass fish, shrimp dish with corn, a lamb chop, and some kind of braised beef on tortillas. Oh.

• 8:40Tig Notaro?

  Is it stripped bass or striped bass?

• 8:43Fortune Feimster?

  Sorry, striped bass.

• 8:46Fortune Feimster?

  This one was also stripped of its life.

• 8:49Tig Notaro?

  You were the one off fishing recently. And you're coming on the show saying stripped bass. Like, I was, listen, here's the thing.

• 8:58Fortune Feimster?

  Catch myself say that.

• 9:00Tig Notaro?

  I am the first to say, "I don't know a word. I don't have an education." I had a moment there where I was like, "Is striped all these years?"

• 9:12Mae Martin?

  I just took it, I, I just thought you meant like it had been stripped from the bone or something, like it was a...

• 9:17Fortune Feimster?

  Let's move on. Sea bass. Who cares?

• 9:22Tig Notaro?

  Well, it's good that you know now.

• 9:24Fortune Feimster?

  I know now.

• 9:25Tig Notaro?

  And you're only 46?

• 9:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, don't tell anybody.

• 9:29Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, I whispered it.

• 9:31Mae Martin?

  You don't look a day over seven.

• 9:33Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 9:34Mae Martin?

  You look like Shirley Temple, as always.

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, but...

• 9:38Tig Notaro?

  Shirley Temple working at Old Navy.

• 9:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 9:42Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes.

• 9:43Fortune Feimster?

  Can I get you some khakis? Hmm? I need another pair of khakis on the front floor.

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  That would be so fine to go into...

• 9:54Speaker 00

  The good ship lollipop.

• 9:56Tig Notaro?

  Go into Old Navy and have a headset and just pretend that you work there and ask for extra.

• 10:02Fortune Feimster?

  Sure, why not? Throw me some khakis on, pretend like this is my jam. Oh, one other cool thing. My day was good, just so you know. I got a spa situation too, like, uh, I got myself a massage and a facial.

• 10:15Tig Notaro?

  Okay, that's why you look so dynamite.

• 10:18Fortune Feimster?

  That's so good.

• 10:18Tig Notaro?

  Girl, you deserve it.

• 10:20Fortune Feimster?

  And then when I came back to my room, the hotel, they had this whole birthday set up on the table and said, "Happy birthday," and this big neon sign. And they had someone draw on this like portable chalkboard, "Nibbles Maple Stick."

• 10:36Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 10:36Fortune Feimster?

  Huge. Let me see it. I'm gonna show you.

• 10:39Tig Notaro?

  What is Nibbles Maple Stick?

• 10:40Mae Martin?

  I knew Tig, you were gonna ask. That's the character from Zoo Topia 2 that Fortune plays.

• 10:47Tig Notaro?

  I was like...

• 10:47Fortune Feimster?

  Look at that.

• 10:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's incredible. Oh, my God.

• 10:51Fortune Feimster?

  It says, "Happy Birthday, Mrs. Fortune."

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  Mrs.

• 10:55Fortune Feimster?

  And it's my beaver.

• 10:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, how dare you. How?

• 11:01Fortune Feimster?

  I can't believe you said, who's nibbles maple stick? You're literally in that movie, but.

• 11:06Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, I missed my part. Now, May, how did you know I was gonna, you were truly anticipating me saying who is nibbles maple stick?

• 11:14Mae Martin?

  I actually went, I, a thousand thoughts went through my brain in a split second. First I thought, oh, I better chime in and say to Tig, that's the character from Zoo. Then I went, oh, actually, maybe it looks like Tig knows nibbles. And then I thought, nah, she doesn't know.

• 11:28Fortune Feimster?

  That's okay.

• 11:29Tig Notaro?

  I saw the film and I remembered nibbles and you did an excellent job and you deserve all of the accolades, but I just didn't know the name.

• 11:38Fortune Feimster?

  Here's my important question. How did you guys enjoy my birthday?

• 11:42Mae Martin?

  Well, uh, I enjoyed it. I had a Canada Day party on your birthday.

• 11:47Fortune Feimster?

  Oh yeah. Tell us about it.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  I really had a lovely time. Thomas came by with Laura and there was, there was ping pong, there was foosball, there was soccer on in the back. Every Canadian that I know came and uh,

• 12:02Tig Notaro?

  Was Alanis there?

• 12:03Mae Martin?

  Didn't know. No, Alanis didn't show up.

• 12:07Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, did you invite Alanis?

• 12:09Mae Martin?

  No.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  There's an open invitation for Alanis anywhere.

• 12:13Fortune Feimster?

  Look at the house that's falling off the hill.

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  I should have got Thomas to contact her, her team. Can you imagine what if she showed up? I would, I mean, and also everyone would remember that party. All the Canadians at my house, we're, I mean, we were listening to Alanis. It was crazy. And we had the soccer on in the background and then um, it was my perfect party because it started at two. Everyone was gone by sort of seven and then except for Lisa Gilroy and her husband stayed and we, we were working on a mural of all our favorite Canadian icons, like children coloring. It was so soothing. It was really great. And we had all Canadian snacks and um.

• 12:54Fortune Feimster?

  All dressed chips or ketchup chips.

• 12:57Mae Martin?

  Ketchup chips, uh, maple cookies.

• 12:59Tig Notaro?

  Did you have french fries with the gravy on it?

• 13:02Mae Martin?

  Yes. My, Matt's wife, Leslie, uh, Googled the recipe and made poutine and got real cheese curds. So that was pretty good. Yeah. I was, I mean, to be honest, I didn't really do much. Alana Johnston, it was her idea, the party. She came over at noon. She set everything up. She'd ordered all these snacks. She cleaned the house. She, and then.

• 13:24Fortune Feimster?

  Provided the space.

• 13:26Mae Martin?

  Pretty much, yeah.

• 13:27Tig Notaro?

  Provided the, yeah. And did you cheers Fortune or you know, how does Fortune fit into this?

• 13:33Fortune Feimster?

  At what point did you guys stop and say something about me?

• 13:36Mae Martin?

  We had a Fortune piñata and we did pin the tail on the fortune.

• 13:42Tig Notaro?

  Can somebody out there in the handsome universe make piñatas of each of us, please?

• 13:47Mae Martin?

  Please. And we, we should have different, they should be filled with different things that are, like you could have many Snickers in yours Fortune. I would have like crystals.

• 13:58Tig Notaro?

  King size, family size Snickers.

• 14:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Fortune Feimster?

  There's a lot of dough that people want to spend.

• 14:04Mae Martin?

  What would yours be full of Tig? Wild blueberry?

• 14:07Fortune Feimster?

  Kale.

• 14:08Tig Notaro?

  Broccoli.

• 14:08Mae Martin?

  Kale.

• 14:10Fortune Feimster?

  Broccoli sprouts.

• 14:12Tig Notaro?

  Brussels sprouts and water.

• 14:14Mae Martin?

  Kids are like, oh.

• 14:16Fortune Feimster?

  Showers and you with quinoa.

• 14:20Tig Notaro?

  Yum.

• 14:22Mae Martin?

  You know what I did yesterday?

• 14:24Fortune Feimster?

  A dream of yours.

• 14:25Mae Martin?

  Yesterday I went to see the Phantom of the Opera.

• 14:29Tig Notaro?

  Oh. It's still playing? Don't you want to know what I did on Fortune's birthday?

• 14:33Mae Martin?

  Sorry. Yeah. What did you do for Fortune's big day?

• 14:35Tig Notaro?

  We were making our way around.

• 14:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we were making our way around.

• 14:38Tig Notaro?

  I truly woke up and went, oh, it's little tiny baby Fortune's birthday.

• 14:44Fortune Feimster?

  And you texted me your first name.

• 14:46Tig Notaro?

  You right thing, right? First thing in the morning. I said, happy birthday, Fortune Marie.

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. I was like, oh.

• 14:53Tig Notaro?

  Went about my little mountain day.

• 14:55Fortune Feimster?

  May, you got it in before midnight.

• 14:57Mae Martin?

  I got it in 10:30 PM. I texted Fortune. I said, I almost missed it, but then I wrote something.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  That is someone who cares. Now, um, you share a birthday with my ex.

• 15:09Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 15:10Tig Notaro?

  And so it's forever etched in my mind. You know, yeah. You know what, Lex?

• 15:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I, I was gonna see your ex on her birthday, but then I had my, my Canada Day party.

• 15:21Tig Notaro?

  You were gonna see my ex on her birthday?

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  I was. I was gonna go for dinner there for her birthday.

• 15:26Fortune Feimster?

  I know your ex. Is that what you said?

• 15:28Tig Notaro?

  No, this is a different ex.

• 15:30Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 15:31Tig Notaro?

  That is in the May circle.

• 15:33Mae Martin?

  We gotta all just know each other's exes.

• 15:35Fortune Feimster?

  I can't keep up with all the exes you're still friends with.

• 15:39Tig Notaro?

  Well.

• 15:39Mae Martin?

  Guys, can I say something about the Phantom of the Opera?

• 15:43Fortune Feimster?

  Please. May's been dying to get through your Fortune day just to get back to Phantom.

• 15:50Mae Martin?

  I have a bunch of fans with the opera merch I really like, but I've never seen it. And so I went yesterday and I didn't realize it's like a community of Phantom heads. Like if you thought that there were no goths left in the world, there are Phantom goths, like these, everyone dressed in black, dressing up, wearing masks, wearing like black eyeliner. It's like a whole, it's a whole vibe, a whole scene, Phantom. And um, people were so excited. It's a crazy musical. It's so toxic. It's very like, you know, Beauty and the Beast, Stockholm Syndrome-y, but I loved it. And um, it was really exciting. And that's all I have to say about it.

• 16:32Tig Notaro?

  I've never seen it. I would assume you have Fortune.

• 16:36Fortune Feimster?

  I have seen Phantom several times. Yes.

• 16:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:38Fortune Feimster?

  Several times. But I didn't know it was still touring.

• 16:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's in LA and, and, and people were freaking out and the chandelier fell. That's the big thing. The chandelier falls at the end.

• 16:50Fortune Feimster?

  Great moment.

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  Great moment, but it fell, it fell very slowly.

• 16:53Tig Notaro?

  You ruined it for everybody. We didn't know that was coming.

• 16:58Fortune Feimster?

  It's been around for a while.

• 16:59Mae Martin?

  It's been around.

• 17:00Tig Notaro?

  I know, but I didn't, I had never heard about it.

• 17:03Fortune Feimster?

  It's like how Miss Saigon had the helicopter.

• 17:05Tig Notaro?

  Don't.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I don't know what to tell you, pal.

• 17:10Tig Notaro?

  Don't tell me what happens to Bambi's mother.

• 17:13Mae Martin?

  I will not. She lives. Don't worry. You can watch it.

• 17:15Fortune Feimster?

  I will not tell you.

• 17:20Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I get enough pizza for everyone before calling in an order? Mama mia. I did my pizza math wrong and now we're completely out of pies, but not completely full.

• 17:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. They could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 17:52Fortune Feimster?

  Um, well, that's very exciting because I remember you wore a Phantom shirt to our live show.

• 17:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I have all the merch.

• 17:59Fortune Feimster?

  And then at the last minute, you're like, I can't wear a Phantom shirt on stage. And I think you changed, right?

• 18:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah, I did.

• 18:05Tig Notaro?

  Why couldn't you wear it on stage?

• 18:07Mae Martin?

  I just thought it looked too cash. There was a little hole in it.

• 18:10Tig Notaro?

  I know. Fortune pointed out I was too cash on stage.

• 18:14Mae Martin?

  Both pretty cash. Yeah.

• 18:15Fortune Feimster?

  It's a pretty big show.

• 18:17Tig Notaro?

  I mean, what the hell were you wearing that was so sparkly and beautiful?

• 18:23Fortune Feimster?

  Jacket on and black pants. And our guests literally had pantsuits on.

• 18:27Mae Martin?

  Our guests looked gorgeous.

• 18:28Tig Notaro?

  Our guests probably had army pants on. I had army pants on.

• 18:34Fortune Feimster?

  Our guests probably had glam done for the show.

• 18:38Mae Martin?

  Tig, you were wearing a fleece, it's like a zip up fleece when you arrived.

• 18:44Tig Notaro?

  I had um, waterproof trail shoes on.

• 18:50Fortune Feimster?

  Mascara.

• 18:51Tig Notaro?

  I had army pants and some sort of shirt to hide my big old tit, tiggle biddies.

• 18:59Fortune Feimster?

  Tiggle biddies. Yeah, we were keeping it cash. I mean, not me. I, I looked appropriate.

• 19:07Tig Notaro?

  Geez. I really was so shocked by how hard you were on me about my fashion.

• 19:13Fortune Feimster?

  Hard on you at all.

• 19:13Tig Notaro?

  You gave me a beat down.

• 19:15Fortune Feimster?

  I think I went, huh, okay.

• 19:17Mae Martin?

  I was electrified by that exchange. Fortune said, is that what you're wearing? It was like a classic.

• 19:25Tig Notaro?

  Okay, we need to do the text thread where it's like, girl, what are you wearing tonight?

• 19:29Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, next time. When we do like our shows at Dynasty and stuff, that's a little more cash.

• 19:35Tig Notaro?

  I didn't know we were stepping it up.

• 19:38Fortune Feimster?

  This is like a 2000 seat theater.

• 19:41Mae Martin?

  I didn't realize that either though.

• 19:42Tig Notaro?

  Well, when we were in Austin, I wore a black t-shirt with a bull skull on it.

• 19:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, maybe, maybe we should always have a thread then.

• 19:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. A girl, what are you wearing? And we should change our thread name to just girl, what are you wearing?

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  What are you, what are you wearing?

• 20:00Mae Martin?

  Can we just check in, can we check in daily about what we're all wearing? Girl, what are you wearing today?

• 20:07Fortune Feimster?

  I'm in an Under Armour tee.

• 20:10Tig Notaro?

  What is that?

• 20:12Fortune Feimster?

  Under Armour?

• 20:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what is that?

• 20:14Fortune Feimster?

  You don't know what Under Armour is?

• 20:15Tig Notaro?

  Two against one. What is it?

• 20:17Fortune Feimster?

  Y'all, what in the world?

• 20:19Mae Martin?

  What is it? Is it like support?

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  It's a sports company.

• 20:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know what Under Armour is.

• 20:24Fortune Feimster?

  It's ginormous.

• 20:26Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, you do your thing. I'll do mine. I don't need to be treated this way.

• 20:33Fortune Feimster?

  They first got huge because they're, they were the, the shirts underneath like, um, not army, football jerseys. You know, the, that type of material that you can, that carries sweat better than cottons. Yeah, it breathes. Okay. They came, they, they were the first to like, put that out there, you know?

• 20:52Tig Notaro?

  Good for them.

• 20:53Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so then they became.

• 20:55Tig Notaro?

  Apologize for how you talk to us?

• 20:57Mae Martin?

  No, because you should know what Under Armour is. Like we were dirt on the ground. You talked to us like we were worms.

• 21:04Fortune Feimster?

  Anyway, they're a ginormous sports company. Athletic wear, shoes. Steph Curry had, has had, I think he might have gone on his own now, but he had his shoes with him forever. Well, I don't need to explain to y'all.

• 21:20Tig Notaro?

  So I mean, how would I get this information?

• 21:24Fortune Feimster?

  You have two signs. They don't, they don't ever like.

• 21:28Tig Notaro?

  Under Armour has not come up. I will ask them though.

• 21:30Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. Well, it's a, it's a great brand. So check it out. Again, why am I plugging all these businesses that I'm not?

• 21:39Tig Notaro?

  All right. It satisfies.

• 21:41Fortune Feimster?

  I also have Under Armour pants right now.

• 21:44Tig Notaro?

  Jesus.

• 21:46Mae Martin?

  Um, are you gonna wear it to the World Cup game?

• 21:48Tig Notaro?

  Good question, May.

• 21:50Fortune Feimster?

  It's gonna be 102 degrees in Philadelphia.

• 21:53Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 21:54Fortune Feimster?

  To dress like I'm going to the gym. Um, so that will be uh, gym shorts that are very like thin, probably uh, some sort of just, just a sports bra.

• 22:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, just a sports bra.

• 22:09Tig Notaro?

  Girl, send photos.

• 22:11Fortune Feimster?

  Tig, girl, can you imagine?

• 22:14Mae Martin?

  Girl, what are you wearing to the big game?

• 22:17Fortune Feimster?

  No, and just, um, I mean, not to give it another plug, but. Probably an Under Armour shirt because it is breathable in the heat.

• 22:25Tig Notaro?

  And a Snickers bar.

• 22:26Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 22:27Mae Martin?

  You get to see Mbappe play.

• 22:29Fortune Feimster?

  I'm so pumped. It's the France Paraguay game. This is my third World Cup game. That I've gotten to see in person. I'm truly grateful that it's been here in our backyard. Because I'm a huge soccer fan and.

• 22:45Mae Martin?

  I'm getting really deeply into it too.

• 22:47Fortune Feimster?

  When I was in Mexico, I watched it the whole time.

• 22:51Mae Martin?

  You did?

• 22:52Tig Notaro?

  Did you say Mexico?

• 22:55Fortune Feimster?

  Not on purpose, did I? Yeah, they had a bunch of TV set up, so I watched for hours.

• 23:08Tig Notaro?

  May, I, I just remembered I sent you that video of the baseball field. With the kid riding his motorcycle through the. Baseball diamond.

• 23:19Mae Martin?

  Cause was that just a mini so we talked about that? Fortune. Yeah, Tig went to watch like, like all the kids in this small town.

• 23:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Max and Finn will like, they'll go play pickup games, like when they are traveling or whatever, they'll go play baseball. So they go to this field, this baseball field to play a pickup game. And then, um, you know, a lot of the kids in the town, they didn't. They'll just show up to the game without their glove and they use their hat to catch the ball.

• 23:52Tig Notaro?

  And some kid just showed up on a motorcycle and was just zipping through the game.

• 23:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, he's in the baseball diamond and they're just playing the game like it's not even weird. It's not on the video, but that kid ramps on his bike over the pitcher's mound.

• 24:13Mae Martin?

  Oh my god. Yeah, when Tig told me this and was like, yeah, and then a 10 year old on a motorcycle came just driving through the field. And I was like, yeah, yeah, sure. Then you see the video. It's a child on a motorcycle.

• 24:24Tig Notaro?

  It is a child on a dirt bike, just motorized, riding through.

• 24:29Mae Martin?

  Baseball game.

• 24:30Tig Notaro?

  That was in Colorado. Players. Yeah.

• 24:34Mae Martin?

  Taking it in stride. Everyone seems really chill about it.

• 24:38Tig Notaro?

  Just like whatever. There's Charlie.

• 24:41Fortune Feimster?

  There's Charlie again. That's really cute. I just gotta see kids out and about, being outside and.

• 24:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Fortune Feimster?

  But in Colorado, that's probably more prevalent.

• 24:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's, it's such an active, it's one of the healthiest states in the country. It's a very, very, uh huh. It's a very active state.

• 25:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I wonder if, if kids get really into soccer around the World Cup, like if there's a big up, upswing and kids signing up for soccer.

• 25:10Fortune Feimster?

  I would think so. It's so huge. It's been a fun World Cup.

• 25:14Mae Martin?

  It really has, yeah.

• 25:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 25:16Mae Martin?

  But a lot of rapists on the teams.

• 25:19Tig Notaro?

  Don't you dare. A lot of what?

• 25:22Mae Martin?

  A lot of rapists on the teams. This is like, it's.

• 25:26Fortune Feimster?

  Think I know about this.

• 25:28Mae Martin?

  There's like five major soccer players that have been charged with like gang rape and.

• 25:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh.

• 25:34Mae Martin?

  It's really crazy.

• 25:35Tig Notaro?

  Bring this up, right? We're about to introduce our question asker.

• 25:38Mae Martin?

  But I gotta, I gotta say it. It's in the, in the same way that Conor McGregor was just on.

• 25:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Mae Martin?

  On Jimmy Fallon. It's like, we, there are no consequences for these guys. So many, so. A good moment was there was one British player who didn't shake the hand of a Ghanaian player who's charged with a vicious rape. And it was like, oh wicked. And then it was like, man, just one guy. Yeah, yeah. It's.

• 26:03Fortune Feimster?

  Well.

• 26:04Tig Notaro?

  That is really bad news.

• 26:07Fortune Feimster?

  That is bad news.

• 26:08Mae Martin?

  What are you gonna do? The Japanese captain?

• 26:10Tig Notaro?

  Even know about Conor McGregor on, or Fallon or like whatever.

• 26:18Tig Notaro?

  And then just welcome to board, huh?

• 26:20Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah, well yucking it up. Yeah, but really you gotta Google that. It's so bad. Or don't, if you don't wanna bum yourself out.

• 26:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, should we, um?

• 26:33Mae Martin?

  You know what I was thinking?

• 26:36Mae Martin?

  Well, I'll, I'll bring it back to Alanis to close the loop.

• 26:40Tig Notaro?

  I'm sure she'd love to be roped into this.

• 26:42Mae Martin?

  I think that I've been, cause I have been feeling angry lately about things like that injustice. And I think the reason I'm so drawn and attached to Alanis is that since long before we were all talking about this stuff, she was waving that flag. She was writing songs like "Under Rug Swept" and "You Oughta Know" and she was channeling that in, that righteous indignation and rage.

• 27:06Fortune Feimster?

  Hell yeah.

• 27:09Tig Notaro?

  The beauty.

• 27:11Fortune Feimster?

  That's why I appreciate our friendship with her.

• 27:13Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 27:14Mae Martin?

  Oh, god damn it. You guys are real friends. She, I can't.

• 27:18Tig Notaro?

  We're friends, May, we're, Fortune and I are friends with Alanis and Paul McCartney.

• 27:26Mae Martin?

  I actually think, you know, if you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, I think Paul and Alanis would be in my top four.

• 27:32Fortune Feimster?

  Amazing.

• 27:34Mae Martin?

  Let's make it happen.

• 27:35Fortune Feimster?

  Be an incredible chatter and we love chatting.

• 27:40Tig Notaro?

  Alanis?

• 27:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think she'd have a ton of great stories.

• 27:44Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I know, I think I mentioned this. I don't think she would remember it, but I, I was at a dinner party with her, an intimate dinner party years ago.

• 27:53Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, who told us that?

• 27:55Mae Martin?

  How could you have not mentioned that?

• 27:58Tig Notaro?

  Well, because I think it, in my mind, it doesn't count because she doesn't, I'm certain didn't remember me.

• 28:04Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 28:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Fortune Feimster?

  How did y'all, was she chatting it up? She strikes me as a one-on-one gal.

• 28:13Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, I didn't really have, even though it was maybe 10 people, I don't, I don't think I really had any moment with her other than hello and, and, and introduction that I'm sure she forgot about.

• 28:28Mae Martin?

  It's insane how much we talk about her and I know that that's, that I bring her up the most, but it is getting, it's getting to the point where.

• 28:35Tig Notaro?

  But it's nice for me and Fortune just because of how close we are with her.

• 28:38Fortune Feimster?

  It takes us down memory lane quite a bit.

• 28:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 28:45Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't it ironic?

• 28:46Mae Martin?

  Don't you think?

• 28:48Tig Notaro?

  All right, let's see. Should we get into our question?

• 28:53Fortune Feimster?

  We should.

• 28:54Tig Notaro?

  Today's question asker is an actor who played Mark on Ugly Betty and currently plays Brian on Shrinking. He won an Emmy award for best supporting actor for his work on the show. Michael Urie is asking today's question.

• 29:15Speaker 06

  Hey, handsome podcast. It's Michael Urie. Wow. Thank you for asking me to do this. I really, really, really love your podcast. And I'm not just saying that because I'm on it. I really love it. My sister Laura and my cousin Cher and I talk about handsome podcasts. Anytime we see each other. So this is like, I'm a little bit excited and starstruck. Okay.

• 29:36Speaker 06

  Here's my question. When was the time you met a stranger and remembered them forever?

• 29:46Fortune Feimster?

  He's so adorable. He was, I first saw him on Ugly Betty. He's such a great actor.

• 29:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah, he really is. I know he's friends with, with Brett Goldstein too, because of Shrinking and.

• 29:56Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 29:57Mae Martin?

  He's a lovely man.

• 29:58Tig Notaro?

  He's real cute.

• 29:59Mae Martin?

  But okay, everyone's a stranger when you meet them.

• 30:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's a good point.

• 30:04Mae Martin?

  But I guess someone who was a stranger and kind of stayed a stranger, but had, when that, in that one meeting, had a big impact on your life, that kind of thing?

• 30:12Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 30:13Mae Martin?

  So in a way, like the masseuse I had.

• 30:16Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh.

• 30:19Tig Notaro?

  I had a.

• 30:21Fortune Feimster?

  Rememberable for a different reason.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  The response to that has been amazing, by the way, May. I don't know if you've seen the comments, but like universally positive. People are really happy you shared about that.

• 30:33Mae Martin?

  Really? Oh my god, I was so worried that people would be like, you're oversharing or like, that's weird. Okay, great. People are into the masseuse story. Great.

• 30:45Speaker 05

  And they also enjoyed Fortune and Tig's scandalized reactions.

• 30:48Fortune Feimster?

  I was clutching our pearls the whole time.

• 30:51Tig Notaro?

  Is this on, on Instagram?

• 30:53Speaker 05

  On YouTube mostly is where I saw the comment.

• 30:57Fortune Feimster?

  These old buddy daddies over here. Go on.

• 30:59Mae Martin?

  It didn't even occur to me to read the YouTube comments and I wish you hadn't said that, Thomas, because now you know I'm gonna be reading them.

• 31:05Fortune Feimster?

  Down a rabbit hole.

• 31:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I am, yeah.

• 31:12Mae Martin?

  Okay, a stranger.

• 31:13Tig Notaro?

  I had one recently, and this is going to be very uncomfortable for me to share because it doesn't paint me in a good light at first.

• 31:25Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 31:26Tig Notaro?

  And

• 31:27Mae Martin?

  Safe space.

• 31:28Tig Notaro?

  Okay, safe space, please, everybody listening. I was on a flight and there was a kid sitting next to me. And he was, you know, kind of like had headphones on and was like putting music on and like seemingly jamming, like, like very outwardly jamming. And I, I was like, oh gosh, I don't think I can handle this flight, you know?

• 32:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:07Tig Notaro?

  With, with the energy that was going on. And I texted Stephanie, I was like, holy lord. And in my mind, I'm thinking this kid, well, first of all, I was sitting in first class. And I was thinking that this kid was maybe spoiled.

• 32:27Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 32:28Tig Notaro?

  Was not aware of his surroundings.

• 32:30Mae Martin?

  And has all this technology.

• 32:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, has all this technology, didn't care that I was sitting right next to him. And I was, I was a little irritated. And then he turns to me and he says, I listen to my music because it soothes me. I'm autistic. I didn't even ask him.

• 32:56Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 32:57Tig Notaro?

  And he said, I'm, I'm an anxious flyer. And he was like, maybe, I think, 11? And, and I was like, immediately.

• 33:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 33:11Tig Notaro?

  May, this, oh, my God, May, this. Listen, I have been around autistic kids. My first girlfriend's nephew is autistic. I've known him since the day he was born.

• 33:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:29Tig Notaro?

  And I did not identify it. And I went from being irritated to so moved. He said, I, he completely just announced this to me like 30 minutes into our flight.

• 33:41Mae Martin?

  That's what's so moving is that he

• 33:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 33:45Mae Martin?

  Obviously has been told or has learned to like, tell people that and divulge that. Oh, yeah, go on.

• 33:51Tig Notaro?

  He was like, he said, I'm autistic and I have ADHD. And I said, I go, oh, I said, okay. And, and I asked what his name was. And then I completely went from irritated to so deeply engaged in this child. Plus he is one year older than my sons. And, and he told me, he's, he said, my dad and I got split up on this flight. So he's back, you know, in coach, but he let me sit here because I have to, you know, I need space to calm myself. And I was like, oh, everything was adding up. He said, I was like, oh, my gosh.

• 34:31Tig Notaro?

  And then he said to me, out of nowhere, another beat of silence, he said, I don't have any friends. He said, people don't like me. He said, but I haven't done anything wrong. And I was like, oh, my God. I said, you have not done anything wrong. I almost gave him my phone number in that moment because I was like, I'm your friend. I am your friend. And then his dad came up to check on him after a while. And then after the, and we had such a nice conversation. And, and then once the plane landed and he exited, you know, he exited much earlier than his father.

• 35:12Tig Notaro?

  And then I was, you know, I waited with him just to see his father, you know, meet up with him.

• 35:21Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 35:22Tig Notaro?

  And then, you know, his dad, I think obviously is very used to, he, he didn't like stop and talk to me. He just like, once I saw his dad catching up with him, I, I waved and his dad waved like, thank you, you know?

• 35:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:37Tig Notaro?

  I walked away a completely changed person and was like, oh, my God, you have to be more aware. And I called Stephanie and I could not get it out of my mouth. I was like telling her about this guy. And I said, and when he told me he did not have any friends and that there, he's done nothing wrong, people just think I'm weird, but I've done nothing wrong. I was like, and it took me so long to get that out of my mouth.

• 36:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 36:07Tig Notaro?

  And, and, and I just, I wasn't hard on myself. I was just so, I, it was so hard for me to look back at myself irritated for the first half hour because I saw him in such a different light. And then I saw him in a way different light after. And, and it just made me, again, there, I know autistic people, I know severely autistic people in my life. And, and I just somehow missed it. And I think it was because he was a young kid in first class that was like, had a lot of technology, like you said, May.

• 36:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Tig Notaro?

  And it, it just made me want to be more aware of, and I feel like I am and I try to be, but this was

• 36:55Mae Martin?

  But that's so human on a flight to be like, that's like a classic thing to be like, I'm sitting next to a kid and I'm on this long flight, like, but, but, but yeah.

• 37:03Tig Notaro?

  And he was banging his head, like, he was like bouncing his head on the seat. And I was just like, oh, boy, here we go. And then as soon as I had the information, I didn't care what this guy did. I didn't care if he was banging my seat with his hand. It was just, and it's such an example of like, once you have information, everything changes.

• 37:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 37:27Tig Notaro?

  Everything changes. Anyway, that changed me.

• 37:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's incredible. Like, assuming the, the best about people, like, and the, yeah, and, and so many, I mean, on a broader scale, like so many of the behaviors that are antisocial are, are self-soothing things, you know? And people on the fringes of society and stuff that, and growing up, it was such a different time, the way we talked about people, you know? And now I think we see like, yeah, people are doing what they can to soothe and get by.

• 38:04Tig Notaro?

  And it was so interesting too, like, once he told me he was autistic, and then seeing how he would respond, like he put on a show, a cartoon that he liked. And when he got excited, he was so overwhelmed and, and it was the cute, all of a sudden, he was just the cutest thing in the world. But it was such also a different reaction than banging his head, like when he saw his cartoon come on. And he, he got so physically overwhelmed, he, he couldn't calm himself down. And it was, it just, he just, he truly changed my life.

• 38:40Mae Martin?

  Oh, man.

• 38:41Tig Notaro?

  On that flight.

• 38:42Mae Martin?

  God, that is the best answer to this question.

• 38:44Fortune Feimster?

  That's a great one.

• 38:45Mae Martin?

  I feel like that's exactly what

• 38:47Tig Notaro?

  It just happened like three weeks ago.

• 38:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 38:50Tig Notaro?

  And again, there are autistic, like very clearly autistic people in my life, but I just missed it with this guy.

• 39:00Mae Martin?

  Did you tell Max and Finn this story? Because I feel like that's such a good learning story.

• 39:05Tig Notaro?

  No, but that's a good idea. I should definitely share it with them.

• 39:08Mae Martin?

  And I feel like kids are always on the edge of your seat when you're telling them a story where, where you are like, I, I messed up or like I got it wrong. And then kids are like, like they're electrified by that. Yeah.

• 39:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. I, I wanted to share this story in our past episodes, but I was just like, I wasn't fully comfortable with it, but, but this really applies and it really was a person I know. I will never forget this kid.

• 39:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:36Tig Notaro?

  I will never forget this kid. And I, and I would actually love to keep in touch, but I knew it didn't really make sense maybe, but I, I don't know. But man, he really, he was so sweet.

• 39:52Mae Martin?

  I bet you had an impact on him by being his friend and like by connecting with him on that flight.

• 39:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, who knows? Who knows? But man, I hope he's out there in the world just doing all right.

• 40:08Fortune Feimster?

  And just having a positive experience for him with a stranger.

• 40:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Fortune Feimster?

  Like, oh, I got through this one flight and it was nice, you know?

• 40:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Fortune Feimster?

  Even if it's as simple as that.

• 40:21Tig Notaro?

  And it was like, as you were saying before, May, like just him knowing what he needs to do to take care of himself and to share about himself.

• 40:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:34Tig Notaro?

  Because he might have picked up that I was a little like, Jesus, what is going on with this kid? Like, does he not? Because when he was banging his head, it was like rocking me too.

• 40:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:45Tig Notaro?

  In my seat. And anyway, whatever. That was somebody I met one time, I know I'll never see him again, changed my life. I'll never forget him.

• 40:55Mae Martin?

  But also the, he must have, yeah, good support in his life that he knows, like, I didn't do anything wrong, that there's nothing, like, that's cool.

• 41:04Tig Notaro?

  And that's that thing of like, I see it so often. I have, my cousin's son has Down syndrome. And, and I feel like this is so common with people that have, you know, are differently abled and, and all kind of, you know, all of their, their, the little ways that make them themselves, that they seem to most times fall into the perfect family. And it, and it, and, and you see these parents that like, even though I didn't talk to that little boy's dad, his vibe and sweetness from a distance, I was like, this kid's in great hands.

• 41:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:49Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 41:50Mae Martin?

  Great scenario.

• 41:51Tig Notaro?

  And I'm not saying it's every time, but when you see I feel like I've seen so many kids, especially with Down syndrome, where I'm like, man, these parents are the most patient, kind, seemingly loving people.

• 42:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I know there's a lot of, maybe there's criticism of Love on the Spectrum, that, that show, like it's exploitative, but, but from what I'm seeing, I like the, I think it's demystifying things a lot for people and everyone's relating so much to the, to the people featured on that show and then they're, yeah, and I think, I think that's great. Cause yeah, we're all.

• 42:32Fortune Feimster?

  I love that show.

• 42:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:34Tig Notaro?

  Well, and it's curveball. I've never seen it, but that's my story.

• 42:40Mae Martin?

  That's a great story.

• 42:40Fortune Feimster?

  I love that story.

• 42:41Mae Martin?

  I can't top that. I'm trying to think of.

• 42:44Fortune Feimster?

  Podcast is over.

• 42:46Mae Martin?

  Fortune, have you, I can't ever top that. So no more episodes.

• 42:52Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I was trying to think, I mean, the, the beauty of being a stand-up, as you guys know, is you get to have these interactions with people, I think in a way you might not get to. Like on a pretty regular basis, you're meeting strangers who are very familiar with you and you not know them, obviously.

• 43:17Fortune Feimster?

  So I would say, you know, throughout my career, there has been different people, strangers who've come up to me. And I just had a moment with where you just go, wow, like that was pretty, that was really incredible.

• 43:36Fortune Feimster?

  And I, I feel like I have those quite, quite a bit, like, um, I mean, you know, some that kind of stand out would be early on in my career, I had, I was doing Chelsea lately touring, I was in Boston doing a show. And I noticed there was a, a, a young, maybe college age girl kind of hanging sort of in the back, looked like she wanted to talk and people were chatting with me and then she kind of like waited patiently. And then she came over and she was like, I just wanted you to know that I am gay and I've never told anyone this.

• 44:18Mae Martin?

  Wow, I'm gonna cry again.

• 44:20Fortune Feimster?

  I've ever told.

• 44:21Mae Martin?

  I already cried this morning before. I'm like, I'm gonna go, okay, so you're the only person she's ever said that out loud to.

• 44:27Fortune Feimster?

  No one knows this. I just, I wanted to tell you because I felt safe to tell you. And I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to tell you that and for making me feel brave enough to say that. And I just was like, oh my, oh my God, like, first off, congratulations, because that's huge. This is the start of you telling many people, I think. And I think your journey ahead is going to be much lighter because this is such, I know when I came out, it was such a

• 45:05Fortune Feimster?

  weight lifted off my shoulders. I said, I can't believe I'm going to be a part of your coming out story for the rest of your life. And I'm so honored by that. It really touched me that, that she wanted to share that. And so I've always remembered that and just thought, you know, that was back when I started to really realize that, you know, my lack of representation growing up, how that affected my journey. And that was when I started to realize, oh wow, I get to be, it's not for everyone, but some people here and there,

• 45:43Fortune Feimster?

  a part of their representation and, you know, hopefully making their path a little bit easier to being out or comfortable with being gay or whatever, however they identify. So yeah, that was really powerful. And then.

• 45:58Tig Notaro?

  And you know what's wild?

• 45:59Fortune Feimster?

  What's that?

• 46:00Tig Notaro?

  She probably listens to this podcast.

• 46:02Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe, I hope so.

• 46:04Tig Notaro?

  I bet she does because I bet, yeah, that because it was such a massive impact that she felt comfortable coming out to you, that you are close to her heart for the rest of her life.

• 46:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that would be awesome. Hopefully she's living a big, full out gay life. I, I really, I really do. And then, you know, as part of our job too, is you're, you, your comedy, you're sometimes with people in their most vulnerable moments. So I've had, you know, people share with me about, ah, there was this one group of friends who came to my show in Fort Worth, Texas. And we took a picture after the show, it was doing meet and greets. And I want to say there was like five of them, all girls.

• 46:59Fortune Feimster?

  And, you know, just like, hey, what's up? Like, nice to meet you guys. And they're like, hey, we take this picture. And at the last, I don't know if I've shared this, but at the last minute I did my thumb, I did a thumbs up because I put a thumbs up a lot in pictures. And they all started crying. And I was like, what, what, what just happened? And they were like, our friend was supposed to come here with us and was murdered. Only like a month ago. And we weren't going to come. And at the last minute, she was a big fan of yours. And at the last minute, we just decided we would come to honor her. And she always did her thumbs, a thumbs up in all of her pictures.

• 47:42Fortune Feimster?

  And we feel like she's here with us tonight. It killed me. I started crying. I mean, I've just had so many of those unbelievably vulnerable, special, just real moments with people. There's too many to like even say them all on here, but it's the best part of our job is to get to have these like really special interactions. Yeah.

• 48:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:12Tig Notaro?

  Those are great.

• 48:13Mae Martin?

  Those are great. Yeah. My, I guess mine would be similar. They're all kind of blurred into one because yeah, it's those types of moments. But on this recent tour, I definitely, it was the parents that really got me, like the parents bringing their teens and. Yeah. So, and meeting like a, one mom with her 13 year old who was non-binary and neurodivergent and having a terrible time in school and, um, yeah. And so, and the mom was just crying and they, and they, I was just like, it felt very special because the mom was like, I didn't know that it could be okay for my kid.

• 48:52Mae Martin?

  Like it's so reassuring to be in this space where all these different types of people are and, and for my kid to see someone being confident and,

• 49:02Mae Martin?

  and, you know, and so that meant a lot. Yeah, that, those types of things. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I, my mind is going back to that masseuse as well.

• 49:16Mae Martin?

  Blast me to outer space.

• 49:20Tig Notaro?

  Of course, there's always that.

• 49:22Fortune Feimster?

  Sometimes you're also like bringing, you know, making people laugh again for the first time. Those moments are really incredible. Yeah. And, you know, I've had parents come up to me who, who just lost a child in an accident and they're like, it's the first time we laughed. You kind of forget just like how much people just need it. Yeah. For whatever reason, not just like in the most extreme versions of it, but you're just like, God dang, that's heavy for, for them.

• 49:51Mae Martin?

  And. It's pretty special that to, to go somewhere for the purpose of laughing with a group of people and to know you're, you're in a, yeah, a space that people have come there to laugh and.

• 50:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I remember years ago doing a show in South Bend, Indiana. And before I went on stage, and this like changed my whole perspective. I didn't, it's not that I didn't think about the audience. I just was, I, I, I thought about them as a group, but I wasn't thinking about individually. And I do that now. And of course you have, sometimes you have, yeah, you're not so great show that you do where you walk off stage going, wasn't my favorite. But, um, but I really, after this experience felt like I just always want to do my best.

• 50:47Tig Notaro?

  Because I remember this, this woman just being like, we have saved up all year to get a babysitter, to go out to dinner and to come to this comedy club to see you perform and we cannot wait.

• 51:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, so nice.

• 51:02Tig Notaro?

  And they had driven like a couple of hours and I was like, huh. Pressure was on. I was like, oh my God. And I, and that's what I mean. It was early days of my career where I didn't really think about, oh, people are planning, people are getting babysitters, people are saving money. This is a big outing for some people. And, um, and so that just changed my perspective going on stage. And again, you have great shows, you have tanks or, you know, not necessarily tanks, but you know what I'm saying? Just like, you never know, but you go on stage going, man, I do want to give my all.

• 51:45Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, that, that definitely was one of those moments, even though it wasn't like heavy or anything, it, it, it changed me.

• 51:52Fortune Feimster?

  Just a good reminder.

• 51:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 51:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Tig Notaro?

  That people are going through things. People don't have as much money. People are really going out of their way to have a nice evening. But blow off steam, whatever it is.

• 52:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. That's what May likes to do. Blow off steam. You know what I mean? With strangers.

• 52:13Tig Notaro?

  Well, should we hear what Michael has to say?

• 52:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, let's hear Michael's answer.

• 52:21Speaker 06

  My stranger, who I remember forever, was a woman. I don't remember her name. We shared a flight together. There was no one sitting between us. I was on the aisle and she was on the window. And there was nobody sitting between us. It was, you know, two hour, three hour flight. I believe we were going from New York to Roanoke, Virginia, where my parents were living at the time. And she and I got to talking and we talked the whole flight. Two hour flight, three hour flight, just chatted the whole time about who knows what. I don't remember, but we really got along. And it was the easiest free flowing conversation.

• 53:04Speaker 06

  And when it was done, when we were done, we were like sort of landing or it was like, we were at a point where we couldn't really start a new conversation because we weren't going to have time to finish it. And we kind of hit our first like lull. And we both kind of realized, well, this is it. We're never gonna see each other again. And she said, I feel like I've known you for years.

• 53:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 53:30Speaker 06

  And I agreed. And I was so touched that she said that. And I felt like we'd sort of become these kindred spirits and we were now going to go off into our lives together. Never to see each other again. There was no social media. I was not, you know, like she couldn't find me on TV. I wasn't on TV or anything like that yet. And I would never see her again. And I haven't, as far as I know. And I have kept her with me because I was so inspired by her saying that to me. I feel like I've known you for years.

• 54:12Speaker 06

  Because I just thought this was just a thing to say that like, I don't know that I would like have said it if, if I thought that, but now I do. I try to be like her, that lady from Roanoke, Virginia. I try to say, when I think sweet things like that or kind things or, I feel a connection with somebody, I feel like I like to say it.

• 54:38Speaker 06

  So she's like this stranger that I met and we never saw each other again. We spent a few hours together in a plane and she changed me and she stayed with me. And I hope that I have become more like her. I think I have.

• 54:52Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 54:52Speaker 06

  Isn't that great? I miss her.

• 54:54Fortune Feimster?

  I miss her too.

• 54:56Speaker 06

  We should share emails or something. It's so weird. Well, she's probably a Trump voter.

• 55:01Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not. She's probably a Trump voter. That's so funny. That's a great story.

• 55:07Tig Notaro?

  I love those, those kind of interactions.

• 55:10Mae Martin?

  You know what it made me think? Like in, when you're in your teens and twenties and in, in sort of party days, like if you're at a house party or in a bar and you're a little intoxicated or on, then it's so easy to form those connections to strangers. So many people rely on, on booze, like, you know, when you're in the bathroom and you just bond with a stranger and you're like, there's, you're like, but I, yeah, I want that all the time, basically.

• 55:33Fortune Feimster?

  You love a bathroom bond.

• 55:35Mae Martin?

  I love a bathroom bond. Yeah.

• 55:38Tig Notaro?

  I, it reminded me of, I also had this experience where this guy and I were on a flight from Portland, Maine to, I can't remember.

• 55:49Fortune Feimster?

  I've been there.

• 55:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, me too.

• 55:54Tig Notaro?

  But anyway, we had this really nice connection. And it was year, it was in 2001. And we were on the flight together on September 10th, 2001. And, and we parted ways after having such a nice conversation. And I, I don't know if I've shared this, but I had a very weird, I had cycled from Montreal to Portland, Maine. And then I flew off to, I can't remember what city after that, but it was the exact path of the hijackers on September 11th.

• 56:33Tig Notaro?

  They came over the Montreal border to Portland, Maine, and they all flew out the day after I was there.

• 56:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's bizarre.

• 56:42Tig Notaro?

  It was very bizarre. And it was at a time in my career where I had my email address on my website. And that guy looked me up and emailed me, making sure I got home safely, that I wasn't on one of those planes.

• 56:57Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my gosh.

• 56:57Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 56:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. But he and I, we talked the whole time. I was like, I love this guy. And then, and I should look him up. I think about him every now and then.

• 57:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 57:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Anyway.

• 57:10Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 57:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Really wild.

• 57:12Fortune Feimster?

  I love this.

• 57:13Tig Notaro?

  I love you too.

• 57:14Fortune Feimster?

  I love special connections.

• 57:16Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Like a handsome one.

• 57:19Mae Martin?

  We were all strangers when we met.

• 57:21Tig Notaro?

  We sure were. It's a very good point. Once again.

• 57:25Fortune Feimster?

  And now look at us chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

• 57:28Tig Notaro?

  Ooh, we should write a song about it.

• 57:30Mae Martin?

  Hey guys, I feel like I've known you for years.

• 57:33Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 57:34Mae Martin?

  For, for three years, the time that we've been doing the pod.

• 57:39Tig Notaro?

  So, does anybody have anything they want to share about where they'll be? I do.

• 57:45Mae Martin?

  Hit it.

• 57:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 57:46Tig Notaro?

  Hit it. All right. I'll be in Rochester, New York, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Olympia, Washington, Fresno, Los Angeles, always a Dynasty Typewriter in Largo. What about you guys?

• 58:09Fortune Feimster?

  My tour starts back up on Thursday in West Hampton Beach, New York. Then Foxwood Casino in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Halifax, Canada, Provincetown, Mass. In two weeks, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina. Then a bunch more dates, Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Dayton, Ohio, Louisville, Madison, Durham, Denver, a bunch of places. And also, if you have a child who's very young.

• 58:40Tig Notaro?

  I do, I do.

• 58:41Fortune Feimster?

  I have a fun part in the Paw Patrol movie. That just came out August 2nd. So I, I play a fun little character in that. So I, I hope you all take your little kids to see it.

• 58:56Tig Notaro?

  That's awesome. My kids outgrew it, but man, were they Paw Patrol fans.

• 59:00Fortune Feimster?

  It's huge.

• 59:01Tig Notaro?

  It's so massive. My nephew's never even seen it and he's a fan. He's never seen a screen in his life. He just listens to like the audio of it.

• 59:09Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 59:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 59:11Fortune Feimster?

  They dropped off all these toys, all these Paw Patrol toys. But all, all the kids in my family are much older. So I dropped some off to a neighbor's kid and my manager's kid, my radio producer's kid. So that was a big hit.

• 59:28Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 59:29Mae Martin?

  I got no, well, check out my social media. I'm in LA. I'm going to do shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. But in general, check out my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music. Or check out an old, an old special and get ready for the new special, The Possum, coming out soon. Yeah.

• 59:49Tig Notaro?

  And also go to handsomepod.com for all of our wonderful, beautiful merchandise. Please don't forget to rate, review and subscribe whenever, wherever you get your podcasts, also on YouTube. And we are available a day early on Hulu, streaming on Hulu.

• 1:00:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you can watch me crying all through this app.

• 1:00:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Go to YouTube, go to Hulu.

• 1:00:14Mae Martin?

  Deeply moved by everyone's stories and always a pleasure to see you guys. And until next time.

• 1:00:21Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome.

• 1:00:25Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media, at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast.

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:00:51Tig Notaro?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the glasses I picked out have a specific vibe before buying them. Oops. Apparently they're reminiscent of a famous horror novelist's iconic look and now I'm getting teased.

• 1:01:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.