“Sharenting”: What happens when children's lives are shared online? With Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, PhD

From ultrasound photos to graduation pictures, many parents share their children's lives online. For some families, these posts help maintain connections with friends and relatives or build supportive parenting communities. But what does it mean for children to grow up with a digital footprint that begins, in some cases, before they are even born? Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, PhD, discusses the psychology of "sharenting," the privacy and safety risks of sharing in the age of AI, and how families can balance connection and community with children's need for autonomy and control over their own stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. You're ready to level up your business, but the pressure to find the right person to make that happen is intense. Indeed sponsored jobs can help carry the load. It boosts your job post to help it reach quality talent fast. Cut through the chaos with Indeed sponsored jobs. Get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now? Then this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 0:59Kim Mills?

  Parents today are documenting their children's lives in ways no previous generation could. From ultrasound images to funny toddler videos to graduation photos, kids' milestones and everyday moments often end up online. In fact, parents posting about their children is so common, there's even a word for it: sharinging. For many parents, sharinging is a way to connect with far-flung friends and family, seek advice and support, or just document family life. But psychologists and other researchers are increasingly asking what it means for kids. What are the effects of growing up with a digital footprint that begins before birth? How do young children and teens feel about it? How can families balance connection and community with kids' need for privacy?

• 1:44Kim Mills?

  And how is AI changing the risks of sharinging in 2026? Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines the links between psychological science and everyday life. I'm Kim Mills.

• 2:02Kim Mills?

  My guest today is Dr. Keneisha Sinclair McBride, a licensed clinical psychologist and the Associate Chief of Integrated Behavioral Health at Boston Children's Hospital. She's also an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School. As a clinician, she provides evidence-based treatment for children and adolescents with depression, anxiety, and other conditions. She also writes and speaks on adolescent mental health, social media, and digital well-being. She recently spoke with APA's magazine Monitor on Psychology for an article on sharing and its implications for children and families. Dr. Sinclair McBride, thank you for joining me today.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 2:41Kim Mills?

  Let's start with a basic question. What is sharing? How do you define it in your work and when you're talking to parents and kids?

• 2:48Speaker 03

  So, sharing is sort of a modern word that we've come up to kind of describe what it means to share your parenting online. And when we think about that, it can take so many different forms. Most people think about sharing on social media, but before that, there were blogs, people posted on Twitter, things like that. So this is not like a new phenomenon, but it's definitely taking off in a different way in 2026.

• 3:11Kim Mills?

  What motivates most parents to share their children's lives online? And before we get into the risks, are there benefits?

• 3:19Speaker 03

  So, most people are kind of going into this with, as a bid for connection and to maintain relationships and keep family up to date, friends up to date, people that they don't get to see on a regular basis. A lot of people talk about, you know, posting things on Facebook for the grandparents, that sort of thing. And for other people, there are kind of parenting communities that can kind of spring up based off of various different parenting philosophies, parenting styles, different identities people can hold. So there can be kind of positive community-building aspects of this, and most people are going into it with that intention.

• 3:53Kim Mills?

  So, one of the biggest concerns that people raise about sharing is digital privacy. What kinds of privacy risks are parents creating when they post about their children online and with the rise of AI? Are those risks different now than they were even a few years ago?

• 4:09Speaker 03

  I would say that the risk definitely increased now because, you know, from the beginning, when you post something on the internet, it no longer really belongs to you. Anyone can download it, anyone can access it and do whatever they would like with it. So there's that component. And now that we have AI, people can manipulate images that are even very harmless, very innocent into things that are more sinister. So there are new problems.

• 4:33Kim Mills?

  Let's talk about consent. At what age can children meaningfully weigh in on whether they want their photos or stories shared? And is there an age at which they should have full veto power?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  This is such an interesting component of the issue because technically, kids can't really consent in terms of legally having the right to control over the decisions their parents are making. But I often think about it as a kind of, we need to get their assent, similar to when we consent families for research studies. We need, kids need to understand what it means to be posted online, what are the parameters, and should be able to have the right to say no. Developmentally, a very young child doesn't understand what that means, but as kids get older and have more of a sense of identity and a sense of awareness, they really do. And I do think that at that point, and that could be different for every family, it's very important to listen to your child.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  If they're saying they don't want to be posted or they don't want that to be online, we need to listen to them.

• 5:32Kim Mills?

  How do you start conversations about this with your kids? What questions should you be asking them? And what's a good age for starting the dialogue?

• 5:42Speaker 03

  You could start this really early when we're teaching about kind of body autonomy and consent, right? When we take a picture of someone, we should ask them, if we're going to take a picture of you, like, I'm going to take a picture. And, you know, even a toddler can tell you yes or no, that they don't want to take a picture right then, right? They'll let you know.

• 5:57Kim Mills?

  Yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  And then from there, you know, I'm asking permission to take a picture. You could also explain what you're doing as they get older, right? So, you know, I'm taking this picture because grandma Wants to see your graduation. Or, you know, I'm taking this picture to show our friends. That you can swim really well now, things like that, explaining what the purpose of it is for. And as kids get older, they start knowing about social media, right? And they're not really allowed to have their own accounts, hopefully, for a certain age. But that doesn't mean that that's the beginning of that child's digital footprint. A lot of people are already, as you said, from ultrasounds on, are already posted on the internet. So talking to kids about that and listening when they're like, I don't want you to post that.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Or I don't want to be on your page anymore. I think that's important, but it can start really early.

• 6:44Kim Mills?

  When do they really seem to understand what the question is about? I mean, if it's about putting a picture on social media, do they get where, what that means? And where the picture will go, not just to grandma?

• 6:57Speaker 03

  So I think around like late elementary school age, when we start thinking about metacognition and being able to perspective take and think about other people's thinking. They start understanding that this is going somewhere, right? But the permanency of that, I would say even sometimes adolescents don't get that, right? Like if I post something, it's forever and anyone can do whatever they want with it. I feel like there are adults that don't really understand that. So we get into this very delicate situation of, right? Like, what does it actually mean? And to be honest, a lot of us don't really know because we don't know in terms of like what? Who has access to our data, what it means to post on some of these platforms? It's a nuanced question.

• 7:34Kim Mills?

  What are some more of the downsides of sharing? Have you encountered situations where negative things have happened as a result of parents sharing information and photos about their children?

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Clinically, I haven't necessarily seen that. I've more seen the conversations about, you know, I don't want my parents to post this. I do want them to post that. And I can say that as adolescents are trying to develop their own sense of autonomy, right? Having some control over your image is super important. And you could see how there would be negative downsides to not feeling like you had control. Often what ends up happening clinically is kids wanting to post too much or tell too much about themselves and parents being concerned, right? There are all these different layers to it. And a lot of it depends on what kind of social media platforms families are using. You know, there's a lot of like parents posting on things like Facebook for older relatives, but the kids aren't using that stuff. So some of them don't even really care what's happening over there.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  But they might have a real Instagram account and a fake Instagram account, or they might only use Snapchat and like parents don't even know what they're posting. So there's kind of a disconnect generationally between who's doing what and who's sharing what, because there's the sharinging component. And then there's the kids sharing their version of their lives. And I think there needs to be a little bit more of a conversation around what we're all doing and what the implications of that is.

• 8:49Kim Mills?

  So what are the questions that parents should ask themselves, if not their kids, before they post about their offspring?

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Why am I posting this? Like, what is the purpose, right? A lot of times, people get so into the habit of using their phones for everything that you might not even really have a reason. You might just be posting it because that's what you do, right? And it might be good enough just to take that picture and keep it in your photo album or text it to your family, whatever you want to do. Like, it doesn't necessarily have to go on social media. So that's the first thing. The second thing, and honestly, this is kind of the overarching kind of point I was making about the kids as well, your privacy settings. What does your account look like? There are people who do the sharinging thing as their business, their social media business. The influencers, for example, they don't have private accounts.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  And that's a whole other legal issue and a whole other kind of parenting and ethical issue. But for the average family who's not trying to, you know, make an income off social media, do you need to have a public account? And the answer is probably no. And then, you know, doing some regular assessment of who you have following you? And like, do you need all these people to be able to see all these pictures of your family? Just a little bit more of that self interrogation about the why and the who.

• 10:05Kim Mills?

  Talk about, you know, is there income from this? I mean, there are some parents who are, I mean, actually exploiting their children to make money.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:13Kim Mills?

  And what do you see in that arena? I mean, what are, what are parents doing that they shouldn't be doing? It's not just putting up a picture because Bobby can swim now.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  You know, I feel like we're getting to a phase that there's going to be a reckoning about this in terms of there are kids who grew up with their parents using this as their source of income. Right? And there are lots of interesting accounts from young people about what that experience is like. And there are also families that have stopped posting once their kids got to a certain age when they realized that their kids are basically not assenting to this anymore. But there are people who make huge salaries from posting every moment of their children's lives. And then that, that is really interesting, too, because that's what we as consumers are viewing as content. And then people are, that's the version of parenting that people are seeing or trying to emulate. Right? Or they might be on their own, on page, trying to emulate this sort of influencer, sort of

• 11:05Speaker 03

  lifestyle that they're seeing from the people that they're following. And so we've created this whole sort of performance-based culture where there are people making money for performing and then there are people copying that in their own lives. And is anyone actually just living and enjoying their kids?

• 11:22Kim Mills?

  Well, I mean, that, that was another question I had for you, which is whether documenting family life changes the experience itself. So instead of being fully present in your children's lives, you're thinking of moments as content.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Right? I, I think that it's hard for humans to not start viewing things like that when they're recording everything. Right? And it's really interesting, the experience of going to your child's event or interacting with your kid without your phone versus with having the phone. Right? Because you have to be fully present. It's like, we talk about mindfulness so much in clinical practice and you are much more mindful when you don't have a phone. I'm sure lots of folks have had the experience of being at an event for their kids and they look around and there are people watching it through their phone.

• 12:06Kim Mills?

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  As opposed to actually like looking at the thing that's happening. Right?

• 12:10Kim Mills?

  Right, right.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  That's a different experience. And then there's this element of like, is it performance or is the kid just getting to live their lives? If you're asking them to stop what they're doing so you can take a picture of that or repeat what they're saying so you can record it, that, that's not, you know, letting them live in the moment.

• 12:25Kim Mills?

  We're going to take a short break. When we return, I'll talk with Dr. Sinclair McBride about how AI is changing the risk calculus around sharing and about how to navigate conversations with family and friends about how much to share online.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. You're ready to level up your business, but the pressure to find the right person to make that happen is intense. Indeed sponsored jobs can help carry the load. It boosts your job post to help it reach quality talent fast. Cut through the chaos with Indeed sponsored jobs. Get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now? Then this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  How is AI changing sharing? There's so many different ways to think about this. You know, there's the much more sinister component that I mentioned that people can make all kinds of images based off of what they find. And people who don't have your family's best interests at heart or children's best interests at heart can take pictures that are innocent and turn them into something that's much more sinister. But there's also the fact that people can like just create all these different things out of the images of their kids. And so what does that mean for a child? Like, it might be fun if your parent can turn you into a dinosaur. But like, if they can like, change what your appearance or change your outfit or change the location, what's real and what's fake? You know, that becomes a kind of a confusing thing because, again, so much of this is

• 14:26Speaker 03

  on the edge of reality. I have noticed that a lot of young people are better consumers of AI than their parents are. Like, they can tell when something is AI or they choose not to use it in a way that some adults are not having those experiences and are just using, you know, I turned all my family into cartoons. Versus like, did you really need to use AI for that? So there are these like kind of safety concerns. And then it's also this sort of like self-concept concern of like, do I need to be perfected by AI for my picture to be posted on social media?

• 14:57Kim Mills?

  I think you're right about people not getting it. I mean, I had some friends over for dinner last night and one of them was talking about all these videos you see of tiny kids in animal shelters where they're opening the door and letting little kids play with animals. And I'm saying, no, no, you don't. I used to volunteer in a shelter. We would never do that. But adults don't know the difference.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Right, it looks really real to them.

• 15:20Kim Mills?

  Yeah, and maybe that's harmless, but maybe it's not.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  I mean, you know, this example feels benign, but it gives such an important context to how real this stuff looks. Like you have that information, right? Like you have the experience of volunteering at the shelter. A lot of my patients know you have to be 13 or whatever the age is to be able to. But like, if you don't know that information, you might think that's something that can be done. That can get much more dangerous when we're thinking about things that are unsafe or not recommended.

• 15:49Kim Mills?

  So does this come up in your practice? I mean, how do you talk to parents? Do you see both parents and children? And do you discuss this?

• 15:56Speaker 03

  So yes, I often work with families. I primarily see kids and adolescents. But you know, that family work is always a part of it. It's interesting, a lot of young people are like thinking about this in a different way than their families in terms of like, what does it mean for AI to be a part of our lives? What are the climate implications of it? Do I want all this information about myself on the internet? A lot of them are focused on the things that disappear. And so helping them understand that that doesn't mean that no one can have access to it, right? And then a lot of just discussion around digital literacy and misinformation.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  I often also talk to young people about like the fact that this is all an economy. No one has designed social media just for us to have fun. Like it's a business, right? So what does that mean? The more information you put online, you're helping support someone else's business. And what does that mean? So these are conversations that I often have with patients, with families. And it's interesting that you almost have to bring kids to this awareness of like, you don't, you're not thinking about it right now, but the digital footprint you have, that's kind of going to follow you into the future, that can follow you into college applications, job applications, those sorts of things. And so you have some control over what you want that to look like, but how can you talk to your parents about what you want that to look like too?

• 17:21Kim Mills?

  Some families run into disagreements between parents and grandparents or other relatives who want to post photos online. How should families navigate these conversations and set boundaries?

• 17:33Speaker 03

  I think when you kind of come into a conflict like that, it's helpful to provide some of this information in terms of, you know, your concern about safety, about privacy, and about the child's ability to consent. And, you know, possibly explain to the extended family member, you know, we're deciding that we're not posting these things, or we only post on private, and explaining why you're making those decisions. The safety piece of this can really be a really good motivator for folks who are not aware, and you can kind of set that boundary from a safety perspective. A lot of this is digital literacy. So many people who are parenting right now are kind of digital natives, but that doesn't mean that their parents are or their grandparents are. So helping to explain kind of where the context is like a really important piece of this.

• 18:16Kim Mills?

  Do you think the norms around sharing are changing? I mean, are parents becoming more cautious? Are they actually becoming more literate than they were, you know, 10 or 15 years ago when social media was new?

• 18:28Speaker 03

  I think so. I think that there's a lot of growing awareness and concern about what all this means, especially in the context of child exploitation. You even see that with like, when we talked about the parenting influencers, certain states are developing laws that kind of govern how you can use your kids in your content, for example. And so I think that is trickling down to the everyday person as well, and people being a little bit more cautious and a little bit more considerate about what they're doing, especially when you think about just like nationally, the things that we're talking about when it comes to child exploitation and these sorts of things as well.

• 19:01Kim Mills?

  It's like a modern day version of the stage door parent, right?

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, 100%.

• 19:05Kim Mills?

  You wanted your kid to be a star on Broadway and now you're exploiting the child and taking money that the kid maybe isn't seeing. I mean, shouldn't some of that money be set aside for the child?

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Think about how that works when it comes to child actors, right? Like, they should, if they're working, they should be compensated. You know, if we went and let a kid work at a coffee shop and not get compensated, like, why are we letting them be social media influencers and their parents have complete control over that money, you know?

• 19:33Kim Mills?

  Well, for parents who don't want to disappear entirely from social media, are there safer ways for them to share online while they're still respecting their kid's privacy?

• 19:43Speaker 03

  If your kids are old enough, having that conversation about what they're comfortable sharing versus not sharing is important. So then you can kind of have that as your framework of like, they're fine if I take a picture of their basketball game, but they don't want me to do this. So you have that as a framework. I think having private accounts, regularly checking who is following you and kind of, you know, pruning that the way you do like the hedges or something, right? Like, do I need to have all these people still on my follower count? And then just kind of continuing to be mindful about the why, right? Like, it doesn't, some things are fun. Like, you know, it's nice to share the joys of parenting and thinking about what is the reasoning behind why you're sharing things and also making sure that you're sharing things that put your kid in a positive light.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  I think sometimes people, you know, want some support around the ups and downs of parenting or their struggles, but would I consent to everyone knowing about my hardest moment? No. So why should that toddler's tantrum be posted, you know?

• 20:40Kim Mills?

  Yeah, and is some of that stopping? I mean, a few years ago, there was a big move of people pranking their children and then posting these horrible videos of their children crying and getting scared or whatever they do to them.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and so many of them are so sad. And like, I think that the thing that was super interesting is like, when that first started, you didn't get that much of a backlash. And then eventually, people were like, this is ridiculous. Why are we doing this? Like, it's interesting that the tide is turning in terms of how we think about stuff like that. But yeah, if you wouldn't do it to an adult, if you don't want to be pranked, if you don't want to be crying on the internet, your child doesn't either.

• 21:15Kim Mills?

  Well, any last words, final advice? I mean, what's the best thing that people can keep in mind if they're thinking about posting a picture of their kid on the internet?

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Thinking about who will have access to it, thinking about why you're posting it, asking your kids permission when you can, and putting your phone down sometimes to just being in the moment. Or thinking about the fact that I can take this picture, but it doesn't mean I have to post it right now. Maybe post it later if you decide to, but everything doesn't have to be this of the moment, like I'm filming for content, right? Like, sometimes we take a picture because we want to savor the memory, and you can do that without social media.

• 21:53Kim Mills?

  And showing it to the kids, saying, "I'm gonna post this. Are you okay with this, Mary Ann?"

• 21:58Speaker 03

  I think that's a really important way to kind of support assent and autonomy and help kids understand that they can have their own boundaries, right? And then it also opens up all these important conversations around digital literacy, around your digital footprint. If you're constantly having that conversation with your kids, this is not going to be new to them when they, you know, get a smartphone of their own, right? They know that this is something I've been talking about with my family.

• 22:23Kim Mills?

  Well, Dr. Sinclair McBride, I want to thank you for joining me. I think this was helpful information for the parents who are listening to us. Thank you.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 22:32Kim Mills?

  You can find previous episodes of Speaking of Psychology on our website at speakingofpsychology.org or on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. And if you like what you've heard, please follow us and leave a review. If you have comments or ideas for future podcasts, you can email us at [email protected]. Speaking of Psychology is produced by Lee Weinerman. Thank you for listening. For the American Psychological Association, I'm Kim Mills.

• 23:49Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.