Bridget Bahl: The Diagnosis That Changed Everything (The Reality She Wasn’t Prepared For and the Perspective It Gave Her)

Jay sits down with Bridget Bahl, entrepreneur and founder of the fashion brand The Bar, who has built a powerful community through her honesty about life, faith, and relationships. What begins as a conversation about success and ambition evolves into something far more personal, a journey through fear, uncertainty, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going when life feels out of your control. Bridget shares what it looks like to move from constantly striving for more to being forced to slow down, reflect, and rediscover what truly matters, not in theory, but in real time. Jay and Bridget open up about the emotional layers we rarely talk about, the grief that can exist alongside gratitude, the pressure to stay strong, and the reality that healing is not always linear. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, Bridget began sharing her journey with honesty and resilience, using her platform to bring awareness, hope, and purpose to others. Her story reflects something deeply familiar, that we often do not realize how much we take for granted until life demands our full attention. Through her vulnerability, Bridget reminds us that even in the hardest moments, meaning can still be found in the people who show up, the perspective we gain, and the small shifts that change how we live each day. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Stay Strong in Uncertainty How to Let Go of Control How to Support Someone Through Difficult Times How to Listen to Your Body Early How to Hold Grief and Gratitude At the Same Time How to Keep Faith in Life’s Hardest Moments Whatever season you’re in right now, whether life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or just not how you imagined, this is your reminder that you’re stronger than you think. Even in the moments that feel heavy or unclear, there is still meaning being formed and growth happening beneath the surface. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:22 Where Her Journey Began 06:33 The Moment Everything Changed 10:12 Why Early Detection Matters 17:15 The Reality of Living with Cancer 22:16 “Why Is This Happening to Me?” 24:14 Facing the First Chemotherapy Appointment 26:34 Learning to Be Softer with Yourself 28:24 Redefining Strength Through Pain 34:54 What Not to Say to Someone with Cancer 38:24 Choosing a Partner Who Shows Up In Sickness & Health 41:03 The Husband List 45:30 How Their Love Story Began 46:06 You’re Not Behind in Love 47:55 Choosing Joy, Even When It’s Hard 51:38 Rebuilding Confidence After Struggle 53:36 How to Keep Going When It’s Tough 57:25 Honest Conversations with Faith 58:14 Learning to Hold Grief and Gratitude 01:03:24 This Too Shall Pass 01:04:20 What’s the Best That Could Happen? Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bridget/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@bridgezilla See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

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• 3:00Jay Shetty?

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• 3:09Speaker 01

  I had this beautiful wedding, and I have this wonderful husband, and now I have breast cancer. Cancer will stop you right in your tracks. My first question was, am I going to die? And my second question was, is all of my hair going to fall out? My oncologist did say to me, you're not going to be able to carry a baby. But I still believe I will be a mom.

• 3:31Jay Shetty?

  You brought everyone in your community on that journey with you. So many people have become inspired by it, so many people have become saved by it.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  This is my purpose.

• 3:47Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest is someone that I've been really looking forward to having in the seat. I really believe that On Purpose was created to document and share and introduce you to stories like these that hopefully help inspire your own journey, help and support you in your difficult times, and give you a sense of meaning and purpose when things around you seem extremely challenging. Today, I'm joined by Bridget Bahl, an entrepreneur and the founder of the fashion brand, The Bar. Bridget has also built a powerful online community where she shares openly. About faith, relationships and her life.

• 4:29Jay Shetty?

  Over the past year, Bridget's life took an unexpected turn when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then, Bridget has continued to share her journey with honesty and resilience, speaking about how experiences like this can reshape what truly matters. Please welcome to On Purpose, Bridget. Bridget, it is such a joy to have you here. I've been looking forward to this for so long. I want to first of all say how grateful I am that you made the trip over here. You just mentioned to me as we were walking here, this is one of the first times you've really been out of your home. I'm so thankful and appreciate you so deeply for coming. Thank you.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, thank you. I feel so cool that you wanted to have me here. Yeah, so thank you for getting me out of the house and pushing me a little bit because I do believe that we can help people. And yeah, I'll get more comfortable, don't worry.

• 5:21Jay Shetty?

  You're doing great, you're doing great. You always have the best energy. When we met last time, it was like you just effortlessly create such a safe space for everyone around you. I wanted to ask you, for those who may be meeting you for the first time, who are hopefully in my community, learning about you today, how would you describe this chapter of your life and where you are right now?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  I'm really trying to unpack everything that's happened in the past 15 months of being diagnosed with breast cancer, chemo, radiation, surgery, all of those things. And I think I was just so insanely sick for most of the time, especially during the chemotherapy portion of it, that I wasn't really present or unpacking any of it then. You're really in survival mode. It's day by day. You're like trying to get through to the next moment. You know, I used to say like day by day, and at one point someone said to me, hour by hour, like you're that sick. So I feel like I'm unpacking a lot of it now. So I'm definitely really raw right now. It's not like this thing that I've had years to reflect on and see how this has all changed.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Like this is kind of happening now live in real time every day and it's really beautiful. And like, I don't know, there's just so many good things that came out of this, like. It's kind of crazy to think about. I really admire you, Jay, and like what you do. And you really changed people's lives. And before this, you know, I had a fashion career before I was on Instagram. And, and I've been an influencer, you know, before that I was a fashion PR girl. I saw you went to the Saint Laurent show recently. I, I did PR at Saint Laurent for years. I lived the whole Double Wears Prada life. I've had, I feel like I've had a few fashion lives.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  And I feel like everything was really like that movie in the sense where it was like belts and like crying and drama. And I really appreciate the discipline and everything I learned from that chapter of my life. But I never really knew that I would have an opportunity to save someone's life. Or, you know, speak out about something so relevant in women's health that I could really change someone's life or save someone's life, which people have wrote me and said like, wow, Bridget, I went in. I got checked because I've been watching your Instagram and I have breast cancer. But I have stage one and I'm not going to have to go to chemotherapy.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  And so I just feel really like honored and I feel like to whom much is given, much is expected. So I feel like I'm just trying to really honor the moment and do the best I can. And I'm really excited to meet some of the people and the women I've talked to. And one thing I, I remember like walking into chemo and like I really, I found this quote and I really try to live by it now. But it's what's the best thing that can happen? So it's like, yes, I don't have anything figured out. Who really cares? Do you know what I mean? Like, what's the best thing that could happen? Let's see what God has for me instead of me trying to always Yeah. figure it out and find the husband and put the guy in there. It's like, just like let him do something, you know?

• 8:26Speaker 01

  And like, cancer has a lot to do with like control and the illusion of control and like, it really strips you of that. I was a control freak. I think I still am a little bit, but like, you don't have control over it. Like it takes that away from you. So it's like, you, all you really have is like your mindset and your hope and your faith. And like, that's all I ever really had. Exactly. Even before cancer, I just thought I was in control before, but now I know I'm not. Unfortunately.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I hope that answers the question.

• 9:00Jay Shetty?

  It does, it does. It's such a, I want to take a moment to just acknowledge how inspiring I think you are because I've had many friends who've gone through the battle with cancer. And I know how hard that is, let alone having to document it and share it. And you did that. You brought everyone in your community on that journey with you. And I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is to go through what you've been through and document and share it. And like you said, so many people have become inspired by it. So many people have become saved by it. So many people have become aware of, you know, what you go through and what others go through during this time. I wanted to ask you that.

• 9:42Jay Shetty?

  Now, I saw you on Instagram and I was just talking to Mike right now, but I saw on Instagram that I think you have two more treatments left, but he was saying one more now. He just told me he updated for me. One more treatment left. Like, what does it feel like to be at this stage? As you said, you're not years away from it yet. It's not. Talk to me about what goes through your mind right now.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, right now I think I'm I'm dealing with a little bit of grief. Where during, you know, people would ask me like, oh, you're grieving your old life. And I, like I said, I was too sick to think about all of that. Like, you're really so sick. And that was one thing I I struggled a little bit with sharing because I really wanted to share it, especially after one person even wrote me back and was like, you saved me. Like, I I would not have gone. And then I was like, okay, this is, this is my purpose. And this, this is the only way I can understand it and make sense of it, that I can help someone else. And I can keep someone else out of chemotherapy because I had a terrible time with chemotherapy. Like, I

• 10:42Speaker 01

  I went in super positive, which is kind of funny because I was like, I can do it. Like, with God, I can do all things. And I did do it, but it wasn't what I I pictured the experience to be. But I think right now, I'm I'm definitely starting to grieve because I think right now I'm starting to feel better and I'm starting to feel safe. And I'm starting to feel safe in my body. And I think, I think there's only so much I could tolerate at once. And when you're so sick, I don't think my mind could really. Open all those doors at the same time. There's survivor's guilt is such a big thing because I'm also like grieving, but I'm like only letting myself grieve for what 15 seconds at a time. And I'm like, oh, I should just be so happy that I'm alive.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Like so many people don't live through this. I'm so lucky. But so like, I'm trying to figure out those sort of things, like the balance of like honoring what I went through and honoring that that was hard and that's okay. That was, that was really hard, but also like I lived. So I don't know, I, I'm struggling a lot with that right now. The survivor's guilt, because even when I went to ring the bell, like I didn't want to do it. I, I don't know why you, you would think you would be so excited to go and ring the bell and you can ring the bell at any time. You can ring it at the end of your chemo, at the end of your radiation. I just kept putting it off and putting it off because I think I wanted to ring it when I felt like, okay, I'm going to feel a little bit better after I ring it. So I waited and waited and waited. And then the day I was meant to do it, I told my husband, Mike, I said, I am not, I don't

• 12:11Speaker 01

  want to ring it. I don't want to ring it. And the only thing that got me to ring it was I was like, maybe it's not about me. Maybe every time I would be at, be at treatment and I would hear someone ring it, it would spark such a joy in me and I would be like, yes, like so happy for that person. And so I was like, maybe that's why I have to ring it today. Maybe it's for someone else who's here in this building who needs to hear the spell rung and it's not even about me because to me, it felt like a lot of pressure to ring it because then everyone just expects you because I think people deep down just really wanted me to be better and I wanted to be better, but I was like, if I ring it and then I don't feel better, I'm going to be all mixed up. And that's kind of a scary weird thing and a weird place, you know?

• 12:54Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for letting us into your mind right now and heart and you know.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  It's a little mixed up, but that's like kind of how it goes.

• 13:01Jay Shetty?

  I mean, you're very coherent in explaining it. So just for what it's worth, I, the way you're sharing it is actually making a lot of sense. And it's really helpful, I think, because we don't often get to talk to people in this very important moment. We talk to people like you rightly said, like years after and then you, it's all memory. Whereas right now it's all real for you and you're, you're living through it. Talk to me about what your day to day looked like before the diagnosis. Like what, what was your day to day like?

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, so before, you know, the C word cancer, before being diagnosed with breast cancer, I was very much wrapped up in hustle culture, more is more and more, produce more, do more. Have more success, find more success, really just always pushing myself to be better and do better. And I mean, cancer will stop you right in your tracks. And it says, nope, that's not what we're going to focus on anymore. When I found the lump, I was on my sixth round of IVF. So I got married when I was 40, which I guess is later in life. We live between Dallas and New York and it's very late in Dallas and it's sort of okay in New York.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  It's kind of interesting, but we could have gotten married when I was like 38, 39. And we chose to do family planning. And there's a big difference between the amount of eggs you can get when you're 38 and when you're 40. So I was like, that's really important to me. I have always believed, and I still believe, I will be a mom and Mike will be a dad. And so we were like, that's really more important to us than like the party. So let's do that and plan the wedding while we do that and then have that. So I did a bunch of rounds and then I got two embryos and then we got married. And we had this like beautiful, amazing wedding. I'm so into aesthetics. I love planning things.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  I just, it was like a really joyful, fun, cool thing we did. But I felt good going into the wedding because I'm like, okay, I have two embryos. That's like what I'm believing and choosing to believe. So I, after we got married, I wanted to do like one or two more rounds because there really just is such a big difference. Like I don't want to give the numbers because I'm not a doctor, but in these ages between like it's 35 and up. But like when you start hitting 38, 39, like it's a significant difference. Like it's like huge, the amount. Okay, we do another round of IVF during that round of IVF is when I, I noticed a lump.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  And I was like, it's really crazy because when I found it, it was, and I'm a petite person.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  It was bigger than the size of a golf ball. So, and I wasn't sure that I even could feel it because, you know, we grow up like, or I grew up, you know, I grew up with a single mom and I remember in our shower, she had this little thing on your shower and it was like these hand sketches of how to do a self breast exam. So, you know, I was doing it. You never really knew, or I really knew if I was doing it right or what, whatnot, but I felt something. I live with the doctor, so I'm like, hey, feel this. What do you feel? And he's like, oh, I'm not sure either. Like, it was bigger than a golf ball, but it was so far deep back, like deep in me and I have dense breast tissue. It makes it harder to feel for lumps. And I had always read that it would feel like a hard marble.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  And it can, it can feel like a hard marble, but mine did not. You couldn't tell for sure if there was something or not. In my mind, of course, every woman would think, oh my gosh, this is breast cancer. But I grew up in a pretty big family. My mom has five sisters. My dad had three. Both of their mothers, no one has breast cancer, no one had cancer at all. And I don't have the BRCA gene. So it wasn't super high on my radar that like this is cancer. And it's very easy on a flag to just be like, I'm sure it's not, I'm sure it's the IVF medications and sure it's a cyst. I found it or I felt something and it was on my mind and I knew I was gonna see my fertility doctor the next week. So we go in

• 17:13Speaker 01

  and I tell him and he's like, okay, like you have to go in for a mammogram. I'm seeing this like every week. And I was like, oh, okay. Like I still just, Yeah. I'm kind of like positive and I was kind of like, I'm sure it's fine, but like, you know, yeah, of course I'll go. So I go in for my mammogram the next week and, um.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, while I did my mammogram, I could start to kind of feel like something was going on and they could feel it and they were looking at it. And then they asked me that day, like, will you stay for your biopsy, which is like odd, you know? And I was like, okay, something's wrong. And I could kind of just feel something was wrong. So I stayed for the biopsy and I I've been blessed with angels this whole time. Like, I've had a lot of angels come into my life and just like really helped me. And this was just the sweetest radiologist ever. And she was just talking to me all about our wedding. She's like, I went on your Instagram. It was so beautiful. And she was trying to distract me. I could tell like she was really trying to comfort me. And all of a sudden, I just looked up at her and I was like, am I going

• 18:16Speaker 01

  to die? And she said, I think you're gonna need some chemotherapy because she could tell I had swollen lymph nodes, which means it's traveled likely. I mean, she couldn't tell she was biopsying my lymph nodes and my breasts. So she, she said, you know, I said, my first question to her was, am I going to die? And my second question very shortly after was,

• 18:47Speaker 01

  is all of my hair going to fall out? Which is kind of interesting. Do you know, like, am I going to die? And is all like back to back? I think that says a lot about women and our identity and, and just where I was in my life. I had this beautiful wedding and I had this wonderful husband. And now I have breast cancer and I was family planning and, you know, it was never like this perfect situation. I was open about doing IVF on Instagram because that just, to me, it's like, I don't know how I could not talk about that. It's very consuming, you know, and I wanted to be upfront about it. And then now I'm like, oh, my gosh, I have breast cancer. Like, what? Like,

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I don't remember what we're talking about.

• 19:35Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, no, you're doing amazing. Don't, don't stress at all. Like, thank, again, thank you for giving, you know, the, the amount of detail is, I feel like I'm living it with you and it's, it's helpful because again, like I think, like you said, them saw there's so many women who feel something and aren't sure and let it go or, you know, like you said, you're generally, a lot of us are positive about things and we, we want things to just be good and probably won't happen to us. And then all of a sudden you realize and I remember seeing you posted this on Instagram and bringing it up because we'll put it up as well in the edit, but you put it up where it's, um, I think you FaceTimed Mike to tell him about this.

• 20:17Jay Shetty?

  And you had, you know, you posted, you know, our husband's reaction to finding out I have breast cancer. What was, after the first two questions you asked, what was the first thought that went through your head? And then was Mike the first person that you called as well?

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I was texting him the whole time I was there. It was actually really interesting. You could see our wedding venue from like this room. They had me wait in and I was just like, what's going on? Like, this isn't how it was supposed to be, you know, and I was just spinning. Like, I don't really even remember that, that much of that day. One of my thoughts soon after was, I'm so glad it's me and it's not my mom and it's not Mike because at least I could do it. At least I had to go through it and be strong. I would have found that so much worse to like, like I would have rather been the one going through it than like, I don't know, I, I can do it. So

• 21:12Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  I mean, I didn't want to do it, but you kind of don't have a choice, right? So it's like, what are you gonna do? And like, I got saved like 10 years ago. I mean, I grew up Catholic school, checked all the boxes. Did all the sacraments, but like I was just sort of checking boxes like I wasn't now. I'm like in constant comms with God like he is sick of me like he's like this girl like oh my gosh like we know Bridgette you know it's like downloading texting all day he's probably like leaving me on red like we got it like it's just a lot you know? And um I'm just like I feel like I have that relationship and that's like what changed for me and from

• 21:54Speaker 01

  like I you know I went through a phase in my life where I felt like I really hit rock bottom and I I just went to God in a really sincere moment and was like okay my way doesn't work I'm finally ready to admit that like I wanna try it your way. And it was just like this sweet little moment of surrender and I was living at home with my mom in Pittsburgh you know I had I had had this life right where I I grew up with a single mom I watched her struggle my whole life my dad left when I was four. And I was I watched her struggle with money and things and I was just like hell bent on like I am not gonna live that way I am going to move to New York City had never been to New York City and make it and I'm gonna work in fashion and that's what's gonna happen and I went with

• 22:38Speaker 01

  two hundred dollars didn't know a soul kinda didn't like it when I got there but I had said so many times I was living there I had to stay. I couldn't even get a bank account I remember like I was like why won't you take my money they're like you don't have any like you're at risk you're a liability like we don't want you and I was like wow I can't even get a bank account like and like I just just worked and worked and worked and like I worked everyone and just kinda got where I wanted to be. And I got really immersed in that world and and fashion and I had a wonderful boyfriend at the time I was living in this wonderful apartment. Really nice um it was his not mine he was great it was just I wasn't great like I I I remember I like had this moment of like

• 23:19Speaker 01

  I've gotten everything I set out to get I'm living in this apartment I'm wearing this YSL outfit I'm like a publicist city of Solara like and I feel completely empty and why? I got everything I wanted and it was such a

• 23:34Jay Shetty?

  What was it? What was the answer?

• 23:35Speaker 01

  I think that there's just like a hole in everyone's heart and I think if I think God fills it and I think I had to really like lose all of those things I was broke I had no job nothing no boyfriend no like leads on a job no apartment moved back to Pittsburgh I was like Okay, God, I've got nothing left. I'm at rock bottom. And He just really met me where I was at. And I just filled it all in with God. Like, I just was like, reading the Bible, and I just started to believe all of the things God says about me. Like, I was like, well, who does God? What does God think of me? And like, you know, since my dad left, I think I was always missing that Father figure. And I'm like, I have that. I actually have that.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Like, I am wonderfully created by God. And I just felt like this heart of stone I had was just really softened. And I just became a little bit softer. And I'm not perfect. I screw up all day, every day. I mean, hence the texting all day. But like, you know, we're all sinners. But I do think, deep down, I really try to do better all of the time. And so like, when this whole thing happened with breast cancer, you know, a lot of people have asked me, like, was your faith tested when you had this? Like, when this happened to you? Like, you just had this wedding, and you were hopeful for a baby, and you were already kind of struggling to get the IVF thing going. And I was like, yeah, I've just lived. Like, I've tried to do it without God, and I've done it with God.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  And like, I think the storm's coming either way. I think like, this is my cross to bear, but like, you have yours, and everyone's going through something, right? So I feel like I...

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like I was just like, I'm choosing to do it with Him, because that's just a better way for me.

• 25:33Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 26:16Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state, coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

• 27:00Jay Shetty?

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• 27:42Jay Shetty?

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• 28:13Jay Shetty?

  Was there no thought in your head at the time which was like, why me? Like, you know, I've finally got married, like, things are looking good, like, I'm settled. I'm like, I feel like the natural reaction for a lot of people would just be like, God, why now? Why me? And you're going through IVF, you know, it's the amount, there's, there's lots of other things happening in your life.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:31Jay Shetty?

  Did that thought ever come up? Or were you too strong to let it come up?

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Hmm, no, I mean, definitely came up. I, I think, okay, so I also have a fashion company and I had been in flight or flight mode for quite some time because we were doing a buyout. So I had a partner and a buyout, I, you know, is not a fun thing. It's a little taxing, it's a hard situation to go through. And I kept saying to God during that process, like, if it's not for, meant for me and you don't want me to have this company, please just take the company. Like, I don't want it if you don't want me to have it. And I prayed that so many times that I like, I'm pretty sure he wanted me to have it. I had bought the company and I got diagnosed two weeks later. And then there was a day where I went to my oncologist and in one sentence, he had said to me,

• 29:16Speaker 01

  you're gonna lose all your hair, you're gonna lose your eyebrows, you're gonna lose your eyelashes, and you're not gonna be able to carry a baby. And in that moment, I felt like, wow, this is not fair. Like, at least the baby part was really hard for me because, yeah, that was hard. And I, and I felt really sad for Mike too, not even just for me, because I'm like, that's, that stinks. You know, we're one year into marriage and like,

• 29:45Speaker 01

  he's always wanted to be a dad and that's like super important to him and he'll be the best dad and he should get to be a dad. And I feel like he will get to be a dad, but I think in that moment, yeah, you definitely have those. But you're also so scared that you're just like, yeah, that's unfair, but I also am like, am I going to die? So there's like, you're weighing a lot of, of things and perspective changes really quick when cancer enters the conversation.

• 30:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. What, what kind of shifted for you as time went on after the diagnosis, leading up to your, like, first chemotherapy session and getting ready for that and preparing yourself for that? Like, what was going through your mind as you got ready and prepared?

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I had like, kind of a bit of time because my cancer was hormone negative. I was able to do one more round of IVF. So I did the round of IVF and I was just the whole time thinking about I'm starting chemotherapy. Like what's gonna happen? This is crazy. Walking into your first chemo, I personally felt physically amazing, super healthy. I went to Pilates the day before, like I, there's a lot of things you have to do. Felt a little bit like a ritual or something. You have to get your nails taken off. You have to get your hair extensions taken out. You're kind of like removing all these things. But I was like, I'm gonna go to Pilates and work out. I felt great.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  And then you know, you're actively walking in there and you're putting something in your body that's going to make you very sick, potentially very sick. Um, for me, it made me very, very sick. And, and to know like, in order to survive, I have to do that. And I have to be like, okay, here we go. Like, put it in me, you know? And I think that was strange and a bit weird. Um, but a friend of mine, Jill Martin, taught me very on, early on. She said to me, you have to reframe the way you think about chemotherapy. You cannot think of chemotherapy as something that's making you sick. You have to think of chemotherapy as something that's saving your life. And that's been a huge shift throughout the whole thing for me.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Everything, I used to complain about having to go get my nails done.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Like what? Like I used to complain about having to go get my hair, to my hair appointment. And like, I think when you go through something like this, I'm like, I cannot wait to go get my hair done. I mean, this is a wig, but so I kind of got it done, but like my own hair, like I cannot wait for that. And everything became like, I got to come here today, you know? I don't have to, I get to do things rather than I have to do things. And I think that is like a life shift. I was like, okay, like I had to go get my nails done. Like that's a privilege, you know? And like, what a brat.

• 32:30Jay Shetty?

  I think you're being hard on yourself too. I think we're all, we, as in, I think we all get into a space of familiarity and ingratitude. And you take things for granted. And I think all of us do that as humans. I don't think it's just you, whatever that may be. Everyone has their version of a hair or nail appointment or something in their life that they're like, oh, good.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Girls will know about the nail, because you're like, it's such torture. It can't be on my phone. I'm like, guys, we're okay. We're okay, you know?

• 32:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but but but I think it, hearing you say that really does put into perspective. I was thinking about all the things that I take for granted or all the things that I, as you said that to me just now, and I think that's gonna help a lot of people who are listening. I was just thinking about all the things I say, oh god, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. Oh my god, I have to do this. And it's like, I have the ability to do it healthy and well. And and that is something that you can't underestimate.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 33:21Jay Shetty?

  And, you know, hearing about it through your perspective and how that shifted for you. Think that's a huge one.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I it was it was a huge thing for me. And I also think like, I was so hard on myself before, like, I'm like scrolling back through my phone and you know how it pops up like a year ago or two years ago. I always thought my hair was so thin and I remember I was always like talking about that and like trying to fix that. And it's okay, I don't wanna fix it and improve. I can't wait for my thin hair to come back. Like, I literally cannot wait. So it's just like, I just think we're all so hard on ourselves. Just know that it's like, I mean, I'm still learning too, but I'm just like, as I sit here with the big wig on, but like, you know, like, I got to wear a wig today. I'm kind of bummed. Like, we're like really picking on ourselves a lot.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  I wanna somehow be able to teach girls that or like give them that perspective. I don't know how, but I've felt that. Like, I, we're so hard on ourselves.

• 34:21Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. It's almost like you'd wish you could teach humans to do that without going through pain. Because the pain is so intense and excruciating and terrible. But it's almost like that's a gift that you've developed by going through that, that, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if all of us can learn that without sadly going through something so difficult.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:43Jay Shetty?

  It's it's a lot. It's hard.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's it's hard, like, because you go from like, I mean, you get so sick. And that's something else I struggled with a lot. Like, when you're so, so sick, you you are not even picking up the phone. Like, there's, you can't film it. Like, it it I wasn't hiding it, but I was so sick. Like, there, you're on the bathroom floor. Mike made me a a nice little bed on the bathroom floor. He would come and lay in there with me sometimes, but it was just like, you can't sit up. Like, you're bleeding from everything you can bleed from. Your every day, it's like every part of your body. I mean, I didn't know anyone was sitting at their house that sick. Like I I pictured I would get sick, but I did not picture and and everybody does handle it differently. I I don't know that everyone gets this sick. I my oncologist

• 35:26Speaker 01

  did say to me at one point, like, some people tolerate it well, and some people don't. And then there's you, you know, so I think I I had a bad go at it, but I struggled with showing it a lot because I definitely wanted to show show more, but I also didn't want people to pity me and I didn't want it to seem performative. But then I was like, I also want to honor the people who are going through this. Like, what if someone's watching this and one of their employees has someone going through this? And they just don't know that that person like might be really, really trying. And it's there's a lot to it. They put you in medically induced menopause and you're like a hormonal teenager girl. And I'm like crying to Mike about anything you could ever imagine. You're not even yourself. How can you expect people to understand that?

• 36:09Speaker 01

  And how can I lead a team during all that and and not be mad at myself? And you're just, it's so much. And I don't really know how to explain it. I don't know that there's a right way. Like, I tried to share, but I definitely, if I'm being totally honest, I would say I err on the side of showing less because it's gruesome. It's gruesome, like horrific things. It can do your body and you can't sit up. You can't walk. Like I, we had a launch for my brand one day and I crawled to the computer to get at work to work. Like, I was like, this is just like the most humbling thing. I cried once. It was, I remember during football season, Mike was watching a football game and I was so hungry, but there was just such a price to pay. Like,

• 36:51Speaker 01

  I had a lot of GI issues and there was such a price to pay if I ate that I was like starving and I'm not good at starving at like to eat. And I was just crying, like, watching these commercials and I just want to eat. But I would, I ordered food once and like chew it and like spit it out because I just wanted to eat so badly. But there was a price to pay. It was coming out both ways. Everything you could imagine. Everything is inflamed and congested. And it's not just like you're throwing up. You're like in major pain. And like my teeth have completely rotted, like from all of this, like just things you you don't wanna. I didn't wanna show that. I wouldn't be mad if someone showed that. I I hope someone does, but I I didn't want people to pity me.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  So I didn't know exactly what to do with it there. So I just went day by day and yeah, did did what I could. I I I pushed Mike to to to remind me to post. And he was like, sweetheart, just like, don't. But I was like, but the only purpose I feel in this is when people write me and they say, I went in, I got checked. I I'm not gonna have to do chemo for it. Like, I was like, okay, there's a there's something in this.

• 37:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's helping so many people, even even you talking about it here right now. I'm sure there are so many people who go and self-examine.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Self-exams, do your exams, like, please, please. Like, I think I'm like begging people. I'm like, please do it. Because before I went in to see my oncologist, I was like, I need to like have her do a self-exam on me. I need to just figure this out. And like, this was the night before my appointment. She's a very proper, amazing oncologist. I want her to do a a breast exam on me and I wanna film it. And I'm like, but I'll be like flagged for my nipples being out on Instagram, right? So I'm like, Amazon Prime, what can I get, right? And I'm like, looking up pasties that you wear to like a rave. I could only find like this red glittery one. She walks in the next day. I'm like, can you teach us all how to do a self-exam? Can I film it? And she's like, what is that? Like, I literally had disco glitter pasties on and she's like, super serious.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  But like, it got sent to like seventy thousand people, like, and people were like, I've never known if I was doing this right. And like, she can explain it better than anyone else, right? And now I feel like even watching that, like, I know how to do one. And I think if any, anyone takes anything from this, like, if you're listening to this and you're hearing this, like, just right head right now. Just like, let's have a feel. Like, let's tonight do our self-exam. And what you're looking for is like, you have to know your body, know your baseline, and you're looking for a change. So any change. And then you get checked. And you don't let yourself put it off, put it off, put it off, because it's scary. That's what people tend to do. But there is no, no instance with this where finding out sooner is a bad thing.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  You know, it can definitely keep you out of chemotherapy. It can keep you at a lower stage, like. It's it's so important. So yeah, go in, get checked and like just watch my video that I made and see me in my disco, you know, rave party outfit.

• 39:50Jay Shetty?

  What does beauty mean to you today?

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm working on that a little bit. Like I I've always enjoyed fashion and makeup and all of this. I think that's great. I think that's fine. But I think I really want to lead with my heart and really make people feel a certain way that will maybe inspire them to like search for if something's missing in their life or a little hole in their heart. And like that would be something I found really beautiful, you know? And another thing I thought of, like, I saw a girl who looked sick. She's going through cancer on the internet the other day. And I'm like, there's nothing not beautiful about her. Like, no one feels like that about her. So I think it's like just being in it really changed it. Like,

• 40:34Speaker 01

  no one was looking at me going, she looks so bad. I mean, they might have been scared. She looked, she looks very sick. I'm alarmed, but like, no one was saying, oh, she's so ugly. You know what I mean? Like, it's different. I think we're just, again, it goes back to being like our own worst critics and so hard on ourselves.

• 40:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you. Well said. What, I wanted to ask you two questions. What's the most helpful thing someone can say to someone who's got cancer? And what's the most unhelpful thing people can say to someone who's got cancer?

• 41:07Speaker 01

  That's a good question.

• 41:09Jay Shetty?

  Because I think a lot of people just don't know what to say.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like you just don't ever want to be dismissive of what they're going through. But I think something that's been really nice and really sweet is like people who continue to check in on me. And even like when I didn't have the time to write people back, I swear, when people would reach out to me, it would be like in the exact second I needed it like. It was like, wow, you know, and it would be like someone I knew from years ago and they'd be like, oh, I'm just reaching out and like, I felt bad because they didn't write back to everyone, but like, you don't know how much you can, what an impact you can have on someone's day. Like, I have made a conscious effort now. Like, when I think of people now, I make sure I text them that day. I don't care if they write me back or not, too. Like, that's one thing I really learned. Like,

• 41:53Speaker 01

  just keep reaching out. Just keep going. Like, I just reach out to people whenever they pop into my head now and I'm praying for you, love you. Like, you don't know what someone else is going through. And like, I do feel like we're all connected and, like, it's beautiful and you can really, I just think keep, just keep loving on them, you know? Just keep loving on them. And even, there's points, points where people are mad and they're like upset, and they might not want to reply, but they're never gonna be mad that you reached out. So I think it's like, do it, but don't expect anything back from it. But I felt so carried in love and prayer the whole time. And I felt a little spoiled sometimes, like, this is so nice, you know, and I want to be able to, hopefully, do give some of that back to people some, somehow, some way. If you think of anything, Jay, let me know.

• 42:37Jay Shetty?

  I think this is giving back.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 42:39Jay Shetty?

  I think this is giving back. You showing up on, online every day, you, you sharing your story, that, that is the best give back for everyone who checked in with you because you're hopefully helping someone they know or someone they love from not going through the same thing or catching it early and not having to experience the hardships of it that you did. I've had a couple of friends in the last twelve to twenty-four months who've also been going through cancer and I've found, when I talk to them, one of the biggest things they say to me is, people don't know what to say, people kind of distance themselves, people think I just need space. But actually, it'd be really nice if they checked in. And it's what you just said, that no one's ever gonna be mad if you check in,

• 43:19Jay Shetty?

  even if they don't have the capacity or capability to respond back or call you back or message back. It's always gonna mean something to that person.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Yes, it meant so much to me. I always think of my mom, growing up with a single mom and seeing her struggle. I'm like, you know, whoa. It's not lost on me that I went through this with like, complete privilege of like, having help. Like, having someone who cared about me to help me. Like, not everyone has that. So I think it's like, if there's anything you can do, like, if someone has kids, anything you could do to help them do their laundry, any grocery store run or something for them, it's like, really deeply meaningful. Like, it's really hard. And I don't think people always feel comfortable showing how hard it is, because It's a bit embarrassing, you know, and you wanna try and you wanna be or I wanted to be anyway. Like, I'm okay, but it's like, no, you're not.

• 44:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, which is natural. We do it anyway. We do it even when we don't have cancer, right? We all act like we don't need help and we've got it all together and we're okay. And so when you have something that you're worried about and concerned about, you you talked about, you know, Mike there, I think what I find so it's so beautiful watching you both together and what you did share from the journey of just how engaged and present Mike was throughout the whole journey. And I think I always find it fascinating because of course, on our wedding days, we all make this commitment of in sickness and in health. And we've all heard hundreds of people say it, or maybe, you know, tens of people say it. We've seen it in movies, we've, you know, whatever it may be, you you hear this statement again and again.

• 44:52Jay Shetty?

  And then people are actually, you know.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Sick.

• 44:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and and then you actually go through that. Talk to us about the realities of what it took. I'm, you know, I think Mike also went down to like, you know, cut days at work to be there to support. But I'm sure it's not easy for you either, because you're going through this very vulnerable thing with your partner. That's not easy on your side. Talk to me about the realities of what it feels like to go through cancer, even with someone you love and that loves you deeply.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it it was hard for me at first, like I said, because I had grown up like always being really independent and wanting that for myself. And I think God was like, mm, no, you're gonna learn to trust a man and you're gonna have to lean on him and it is what it is. And I found that really hard. I mean, I straight out the gate, you know, this is one year into marriage. I'm like, sickness and health, go buddy. Let's see what you got, you know, and he really put himself second. And I I came up with this whole like, choose your husband, like your life depends on it. Because I can't imagine what I would have done without him. Like, you know, he's a plastic surgeon and he. Has been training for this moment for seventeen years. So you get to this moment, you open your business, you pass your boards.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  And now it's like, oh, please step away from your business and learn how to do a fashion company. Because she just bought it, has debt, and now owns a full company, you know? So it's a lot to put on someone. And I think chaos reveals character, right? And one thing I did before I met Mike was I made this like husband list. I used to talk about it on like TikTok or Instagram a long time ago, but it was, it's not like, oh, abs and a corner office and status and all this stuff. It's much more like character driven, like, does he love his mom? How does he make people feel? What does he leave in the room? Does he have any friends? Does he care about people? Because at the end of the day, life is gonna get hard and those are the things that are gonna matter.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  On our first date, I remember Mike telling me like his parents have been married for forty years. His grandparents are married for seventy years. I was like, oh, he's like hitting these things on this list I wrote over here. But it was, the list is he from-

• 47:01Jay Shetty?

  Tell us about what was on the list.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was like, does he love his mom? What do people say about him? Do people like him? Like, I, that was a big one on my list. I was like, I really want everyone to love him and just think he's great. If someone wouldn't like Mike, like, that's kinda odd. Like, he's a really good human. Like, he's just like a great person. Like, I wanna be like Mike. Like, he has something he was passionate about. Is there something he loves? Do we align on our values and our faith? And like, not letting anything go off the list. Like, not seeing potential in people. Oh, can I change this in this person? Like, I'm so attracted to them. My date with Mike, when I walked in, that was the first time, I think, I walked into a room thinking like, do I like this guy? And it wasn't like, does he like me?

• 47:47Speaker 01

  I was really- Good in the sense of I know who I am in Christ. I know God loves me. I know who I am and I know what I think I need. And if I just give this to God, I'm believing that he's gonna find this guy for me rather than me trying to make all of these exceptions to these rules. And like make it work with these other people that it's not working with. And like, looking back, I'm like, wow. God really sees your whole story beginning to end. Like he even knew I needed a doctor. When we first started dating, Mike, it was always easy with him, everything, to the extent that I was like, oh, am I like not interested in this? Is this?

• 48:24Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah, it was. It was so peaceful that it felt unfamiliar.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I was sort of like, maybe he should be my friend. Like, I don't feel this. Cause I wasn't like waiting for him to text me and all of this. He was just texting me. He was just pursuing me actively. And I didn't really know what to make of that. There were no games. So I almost got confused by that. And so thank God I had that list. Cause I'm like, he's not breaking anything on the list, but I was just like, so what I did was I like took counsel. I asked married people. I'm like, there's this guy. He's this like really hot dogger, which also like I didn't want to go out with him for six months. I did not want to go out with him. Cause I was like, he looks like a model and like, I want to be the pretty one, but like, I got over it.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  And like he wore jeggings. I remember I was just like looking for problems, but like none of the photos on his Instagram were just of him. Which I was like, that's a good thing. That's a good thing. Because like even though that wasn't on the list, like that says a lot about you care about people. You're with your mom, your brother, you have some friends. Those are great things. Those are, those are telling things, you know? And so, yeah, but I did get a little bit worried at some points, asking my married friends, being like, I don't know, guys. He's like always writing me back.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  And he like wants to hang out every day. Like it's a little weird and they're like, and he has a job and he likes his mom and he's a good person. What's the problem? You know, it's like, but what do you think that is? Like, why are we all doing that?

• 49:52Jay Shetty?

  We don't have a history of peaceful, clear contact. And therefore, when someone finally does that, you kind of get spooked.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:00Jay Shetty?

  And you're like, what's going on here? Like, you're not meant to do this. You're meant to make me feel nervous and anxious and all the other emotions that aren't healthy and helpful, or in that moment at least.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:11Jay Shetty?

  And so I think we're all looking for that kind of like racy feeling.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Like the butterfly.

• 50:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  I felt like I liked him, but I didn't have this like sinking pit in my stomach at all times.

• 50:20Jay Shetty?

  I mean, there's a study that shows that what we feel when we say the butterflies is you're feeling excitement and stress at the same time. But when someone messages you back, you only feel excitement and clarity. So you don't get the stress, but it's the excitement and stress together that creates that nervousness. But when someone actually is just, as Mike was, messaging back and, you know, pursuing you and being really clear about it, we're like, oh, wait a minute, I don't feel the stress.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:48Jay Shetty?

  And the stress is what makes things exciting, but you know, we know that's not true. Because hey, when you're actually marrying someone or you are in a long-term relationship with someone, you don't want someone that causes you stress. You don't want to come home to a stressful person. You don't want to wake up to a stressful person. You don't want to, that's not what you're looking for.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Imagine the guy not calling me back when I was going through my chemotherapy. You know, I, I made one video and I was like, the guy who is not texting you back is not the guy with you in the middle, the middle of the night in the emergency room, like, you know, I had my big faux fur on and my, and he's just sitting there like, what can I do to help? You know, and it's like, what are we doing? What was I doing?

• 51:27Jay Shetty?

  How, how did you two meet before that first day?

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, the old fashioned, we met, we met through friends. My one friend, um, she's an influencer and her husband's a plastic surgeon. They were in the same residency at NYU and she kept telling me to go out with him. And I would just be complaining about these guys I was dating and I would just be like, oh, should I text him back? And it was all this plotting and all this stuff. And she's like, really think you should text Mike? And I'm like, hmm, eh, he looks like a model. Like, and she was like, but just like take that out of it. What is the problem? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I was like, he's not my type. And she's like, you're not married. You don't have a type. Like, you have a lot of people that aren't your type that you've dated.

• 52:11Jay Shetty?

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• 53:15Speaker 03

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• 53:54Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about that idea of so many, there are so many women who feel, if I'm not married by 30, if I don't have kids by 35, you got married when you were 40 and life will continue from this point onward. And it's like, you never felt behind or didn't allow yourself to feel behind.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  Well, I did. I felt behind. Yeah, I felt behind, but like I was so consumed with work. Like that was a big thing for me because I think just growing up with a mom who struggled, it was like the number one thing. And until I felt like I got myself... To a point where I was like financially independent or in a good place. I wasn't as focused on it, but then yeah, like I was like, oh no, I want to have babies. So it was okay that I had to be laying in bed for a year. I've been out for a lot of years. That was kind of when my platform was built by accident, I guess, before cancer happened. It was a lot of girls would come up to Mike and I in New York City mainly. And they would say, oh my gosh, you guys give me so much hope. I'm thirty two and I haven't met anyone. And I met Mike when I was thirty five.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  So I think, you know, I I leaned into that a little bit and thought about it. And I think it was just like believing in God's plan for my life and not trying to do things my way. That being said, I do think I would have saved myself a lot of tears and a lot of years if I had written the husband list before and not got so caught up in like the games and the butterflies and like all of that, because yeah, I don't know, that's that's like a thing.

• 55:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What what would you say to someone who says to you, I feel behind at thirty five because I haven't got married yet?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Have you written your husband list and what's on it? And who are you dating and like, what are you scared to let go of? Because I do think that there has to be a moment of kind of like, okay, God, I'm gonna do this your way. I'm not gonna keep doing this my way.

• 55:41Jay Shetty?

  What I like about your list is it's not a list the way I think people think about a list. So I think when people hear the words husband husband list, they think like six feet tall. You know, this job.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Status.

• 55:55Jay Shetty?

  Right, yeah, I think a lot of people write those things. And even if it's not a lot of people, I know a lot of people who've said those things to me. Where it's all about like what kind of job they have. So like doctor would be high up there, right? And and or, you know, finance or not finance. So people also their list is like, I would never marry someone in finance. I'd never and I'm like, I don't think that affects whether someone's a good partner or not. Like I always think about like your career doesn't really say much about how you are as a partner. Your bank balance doesn't say how much you are as a what you're like as a partner. Your height doesn't say anything about what you're gonna be like as a partner. And I think it's funny when you measure someone as a partner on these things that mean nothing to do with them being a partner.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:39Jay Shetty?

  And so I think even though I never had a formal list. I think when I met Radhi too, I was looking for how someone lit up a room and how someone was with me in different circumstances and different scenarios. How was I treated around different people? How did I feel when I shared a new idea or I thought about something new? And then as we got married and moved forward, even then, like, I would say we went through more challenges after we got married because we moved country, we moved jobs, we moved home. And when you go through all that together again, I mean, what you've been through is far harder and far greater than all of those things. But when you go through difficult things, you figure out what someone's really made of and what their response is.

• 57:24Jay Shetty?

  And I remember being four months away from being broke when we were married. And this was around maybe six months into our marriage or maybe just coming up to a year into our marriage. And I told her the situation we were in and she was like, I trust you. And like that to me was the person I married and the character of the person I married, not someone who is, you know, not there for me at that time.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 57:49Jay Shetty?

  And so I think for me, I didn't, I knew Radhi was the one when I met her because she was always nice and kind to everyone that we met, whether they could help her or not. She lit up every room she walked into. She was always bubbly and fun and had good energy and ideas. Uh, I didn't feel like she played any games. We both didn't play any games with each other. I was really sure about who I was when I met her and that didn't scare her and didn't intimidate her or didn't make her feel any other way. And she was still learning and curious about who she was and I love that about her.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:21Jay Shetty?

  So I think to me it was more about.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  You had a list though.

• 58:24Jay Shetty?

  I did, that's what I'm agreeing, no, that's what I'm agreeing with you. I'm saying it wasn't written.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Like written down.

• 58:29Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, exactly. But it was there and I was very, I could sense it when I was around her. And I think you need to be clear about those things. But I think the problem now is people get clear about stuff, but not the right stuff. You get clear about a bunch of stuff that doesn't make any difference. So, you know, someone's height or someone, your ick that they wear jewelry or

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, the icks and all those.

• 58:49Jay Shetty?

  The fact that they don't dress well or whatever it is, like that stuff doesn't impact whether someone's gonna show up for you. When you're broke, when you're lost, when you're confused, when you have cancer, you know, like that's not gonna be the, you know, differentiator. So.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's a cool one that you said too, that like you were very sure of who yourself, like who you were when you met her and that didn't intimidate her. And that's like one thing I haven't really thought of. And how attractive that must be to someone, but I didn't even really think of it like that. Like, yeah, that didn't intimidate him. He like pushed into that and leaned into that. I was like, that's cool, you know, and like, that is cool.

• 59:23Jay Shetty?

  It is, it is. And, and, and it's, you know, like, I mean, you know, the, I think Mike's just set such an incredible example for, you know, all partners truly just by observing both of you together of just what it takes and what love really means. You know, I think we talk a lot about what love means and how do you show it? And, you know, what that looks like. And I think both of you together represent in the most beautiful way. And it's, I'm so happy that you've been a big part, sharing that with us also, I think, has made every partner go, I need to step up, you know, in a good way, in a good way.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I, I didn't worry about that too, cause I'm like, I don't want people to think we're like bragging, but it's like, we're not, we're like literally.

• 1:00:06Jay Shetty?

  Well, it's hard. So there's no bragging because it's hard work.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  You know, he went to Sephora once because when all my hair really started shedding, like badly, and I had lost so much weight. I was like eighty four pounds and like, I, cause I was just having a lot of issues with eating. But he was like, I want to do your makeup for you. I want to do something for you. It was so funny because it was bad, you know, I'm like, he had not a clue. And thank God he's so much better at surgery than makeup.

• 1:00:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I've seen him do your nails and like.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's like kinda good at nails. A little good at nails. Yeah. Um, not the makeup so much, but um, yeah, he was like a little confused.

• 1:00:41Jay Shetty?

  And even I saw you dressing up during treatment too, right? Like that was the way you were, I think, finding joy.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. I was pushing myself. Like it was later in my treatment. Like I started dressing up for chemo because I saw this old, older woman there once and she was just fierce. She had on heels and this outfit. And I was like, I love her. And I was like, is she here for treatment? And they're like, yeah, she always dresses up. And they said, and she rings the bell every time when she leaves. I said, goals. I love her. So then the next week I was like trying to dress up and be just like her. Cause I was like, wow, like, maybe I can inspire people. Maybe they'll see me dressed up and then they'll want to dress up. It really, I was like.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Wow, when I saw her.

• 1:01:23Jay Shetty?

  How did you dig to find the strength at that time? Like, talk to me about that. Like, you just said, like, you know, you're just trying to get up. You're just trying to get to treatment. You're just, you've got to deal with being on the bathroom floor and bleeding from, you know, it's like, how do you in those, how do you in that moment even find the strength? Like.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  I don't know. Like, I, I, I think you're stronger than you think. Like, I, I am kind of glad, like, ignorance was bliss. I don't know how I would have gone that first day and let them put chemo in me if I had known what was gonna happen. I really don't. Like, I, it was hard. And then later in my treatment, when I was doing radiation, I had to do fifteen rounds of radiation. And I was like, okay, I really wanna dress up every day. Like, I'm not gonna say I'm gonna do my hair, I'm gonna wear a hat, I'm not gonna do my makeup. But like, I really wanna challenge myself to like, build my self-confidence back a bit. And I felt like the ways I thought of when I built my confidence up when I was younger. I was like, I bought a, a very expensive Equinox Gym membership. And I was like, but I'm gonna buy this and then I'm gonna say I'm gonna go and I'm gonna go.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  And I'm gonna keep that promise to myself. And as I keep doing that, I'll, I'll start to believe in myself. So it's like, I am getting dressed for this, no matter what, every day. And I did not want to, but every day I just remember being like, but I only have to do it fourteen more times. I only have to do it thirteen more times. And, and then at the end, it was just like, I did it. I couldn't believe it, I did it. And I'm not saying these were the world's best outfits, but like, it was just like, I think there's something to that. Like, making a promise with yourself and keeping it big or small, you start to believe in yourself and you start to trust yourself and you start to have confidence that you can do things you, you say you can do. And I, I think that, like, helped me a lot, like, a lot more.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  And it seems so small and like, I mean, literally putting on an outfit, but it was huge for me. I remember being like, wow, I did it, I couldn't believe it.

• 1:03:14Jay Shetty?

  How did you not get defeated every time? Because like, you know, I think a lot of people, when you're going through something like this, you build yourself up, you prepare yourself, you get ready, and then you've still got to do another round. You've still got to do this. You're still like, how did you not let yourself get defeated?

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I got defeated sometimes and I just, I would just try to go back to like spinning it to be like, I get a chance to live. I get a chance to, to go on and live and I can do it. I just, I, right when I got diagnosed, I didn't show this because I was like, I'm a little cuckoo, you know? But like, I embroidered healed on everything you could ever imagine. My sweatshirts, my bags, everything. And every morning, thank you, Jesus, for my healing. Thank you, God, for healing me. I was not healed. You know, and I'm wearing a sweatshirt to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. Go healed. I was just writing it everywhere and I was just believing for it. And like, I guess I didn't see a point in not believing for it.

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  Like I, I, just like I don't see a point in like not believing I'll be a mom. Like I believe, I just believe it now and I gotta go write mom on everything. But I, I, I just believe, like, I don't know if it will be the way I imagined it to be. Like, that was a really hard time for me, the day that they said, you won't carry a baby. And I'm still like, well, maybe I'll carry a baby. Like, very, I don't know. But I believe I will be a mom in some way, shape or form, whether that's adopting or we actually have a surrogate now, so.

• 1:04:46Jay Shetty?

  I'm so happy to hear that. It's amazing news.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're working on that and that's like a quite a long process and like such a beautiful thing. And that someone would want to do that and feels really called to like make someone else a mother. Like, I think that's so beautiful. And I just know Mike will be the best dad and he deserves it, so.

• 1:05:09Jay Shetty?

  You both do, you both do for sure.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Thank you, yeah.

• 1:05:12Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about your talks with God. During this time.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  They're really wrong. They're not this like little Catholic Bridget who grew up like, you know. Oh, I'm like, what the heck is going on? Like, this is like, it's like, honestly, like texting with someone that I could say anything to, you know, and I.

• 1:05:32Jay Shetty?

  Do you actually text?

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  No, I, it's like in my mind.

• 1:05:35Jay Shetty?

  In my mind, okay.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  I do it all day and then I try to make time like at night and I like download everything, but he already knows. Like in my mind, that's what I believe that he already knows, like everything he knows all of our thoughts. He knows the number of hairs on our head like. I, I, I just, I'm like TMI. I'm kind of just, I think he's sick of me. I'm like, he's probably healed the girl enough, you know? I don't want to hear from her anymore.

• 1:05:59Jay Shetty?

  I love your sense of humor. Talk to me about, we were talking at the top about grief. And as I'm talking to you, there's so much joy and gratitude and resilience that you demonstrate, which is just mind, you inspire me so much.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:06:12Jay Shetty?

  It's just whenever I'm around you, I just feel so moved, truly.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:06:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, by your faith.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  And you're like, you do a lot. You're not giving yourself any credit.

• 1:06:20Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, no, no. Bridget, this is about you. It's about you. It's about you. And, and I mean it. It's, uh, it's, it's, it really moves me. I, I wanted to ask you, how do you, how have you learned or how are you learning right now to hold both grief and gratitude at the same time?

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like that's a really hard question and I feel like, like I said, like I don't think I know how to do both at the same time. Like when I was really sick, I wasn't grieving yet because I was so scared. I was like scared I was going to die. And I've never had that before. I've never lived a day in my life before where I was like, am I going to live?

• 1:07:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  So you're not like balancing much. You're like getting through it, you know, day at a time, hour at a time sometimes. And you're just trying to put one foot in front of the other and like get through it. I think the grief is coming more now because I feel more safe now and I feel like.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like now I'm, I feel like I'm gonna live. I hope I'm gonna live in that.

• 1:07:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  You know, I, I.

• 1:07:31Jay Shetty?

  We want you here.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, and so now I'm kind of like, whoa, what just happened? Like, it's survivor's guilt too. It's really hard because like, not everybody gets what I just got. So it's hard to say, I feel really like, like I, I'm struggling with that. I do think I need to let myself lean into that a little more and definitely needs, I need to do some work and some work on myself about letting myself feel the feelings that just happened, but I'm not doing great at that yet. Right now, I'm being very like, oh, I should just be happy that I'm alive, you know? So some work to do there. Do you have any advice for me? How do I do that? You tell me, oh my God. I don't know.

• 1:08:10Jay Shetty?

  No, I, I think your talks with God and, and the incredible sharing you do with your community, I'm, I'm in no place to guide or advise you. I feel so just touched by the way you talk to God about what you're going through. And I, I mean, there could be no better guide than that. And, uh, and then also hearing about just, just how you chose to share it with the community and, and, and I feel like you're, you, you, you've already processed so many emotions more than you can even ever imagine. And you're going to know how to process these new ones as they come up. Because you've already done so many of the harder ones.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:46Jay Shetty?

  And so it's just trusting yourself and trusting God that you'll get the wisdom and the insight to know what to do next.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Jay Shetty?

  Which you've already lived by, so.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  I feel, I definitely feel a little bit like, like, oh, now what do I do? Because like, you know, I like had this whole life and then it kind of got turned upside down. So I'm like, okay, it is what it is. But now it's like, what do I do? Do I go back to talking about clothes or, you know? And it's like, I'm definitely grieving who I was. I don't not like, think she's coming back. I don't think that, I think there will always be that. And then like before and after cancer, I, I don't know that it's not a blessing though, because like I get to live my life through a different lens. I hope that other people get to see that through me. Like, I hope that they get to, you know, what's the saying?

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  Like, healthy people want a lot of things, but sick people, they only want one thing. And it's like, I hope that people just, it can be a small reminder to them to like, if you're like, listening to this today and you're having a bad day, but you have your health. Like, the world is your oyster. You are so blessed and so lucky. And there's so many things, circumstances that we can change and work on. And to just, maybe if you could just shift that to gratitude a little bit for what, there's always something to be grateful for, you know? Like, I was really grateful that I got to do cold capping during my treatment. And it sucks, like, but I was so lucky and blessed to be able to do that. Not everyone gets to do that.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  And I kept some of my hair and I'm like, wow, God, you were just like spoiling me rotten. Like, I am even keeping some of my hair, like, I don't know. I, I hope it, I hope I figure out how to, what to do next and how to merge. And I, I don't feel the exact same pressure I felt before. It's like, post every day and all this because I'm kind of just like, I, I need a beat. Like, I need to figure out, but I don't know. I don't know. What do I do? Send tips. Tell me. I don't know. Like, I feel like most people who've been through this, like, that I've met are like really badass. So I'm like, looking forward to that. I think they're like, super, like, mega, like, like, I'm like, whoa, you're a really impressive person.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  And I'm like, so something happens, you know? I'm just like, not at that far yet. I'm like, still working on it.

• 1:11:10Jay Shetty?

  I think a lot of people think they have to find their purpose and you're already living it by doing what you're doing right now. So, you know, I think you're already living the next phase of your life without even knowing it.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  I mean, I think purpose is so cool in that way.

• 1:11:21Jay Shetty?

  What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  This too shall pass. Can I, can I explain?

• 1:11:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, go ahead, man. Go ahead. I knew you were gonna do that.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  So, I'm sorry, I get on myself. Um, so I think because obvious, for obvious reasons, like, you know, going through the year I just went through, this too shall pass, but it's also like another reminder to be in the moment and realize like, but what's good is, what good is happening right now because this is gonna pass? And then also, I think it's so, so important for like, when you're at your highest moment too. Like, you're at the best moment, everything's working out for you, like, this too shall pass. So like, be present in that moment, but also stay humble in that moment because this too shall pass.

• 1:12:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well said. I have a little box for you. Here.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:12:10Jay Shetty?

  Inside this box.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:12:12Jay Shetty?

  Are different things that I think are valuable to people at different points in their life. And I want you to just pick out anything that looks interesting to you and talk about when it was important.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:12:24Jay Shetty?

  And how it's changed.

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh, this is really cute. I don't know. Okay, so nails. I like literally can't wait to go and get my nails done. You can't get your nails done when you're going through chemotherapy.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  I did once anyway, Rebel with the cause, and I just got really, it wasn't good. So, wow, like, like, this like kind of excites me. It makes me excited.

• 1:12:49Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. Is this like Mike?

• 1:12:52Jay Shetty?

  Well, I think we need the dark hair, so.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  This was actually the, looks like the guy I dated before Mike, who wasn't very nice to me, who wasn't, would not have been good at taking good care of me this year. So, like.

• 1:13:03Jay Shetty?

  We're leaving him behind, yeah.

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  See ya.

• 1:13:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  Bye. What else? Oh.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  This is like really hopeful to me. This is like,

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  this is happening somehow, some way, this is gonna happen. So,

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  prayers up for this one, but I'm believing, like, I just, I just believe, you know, I, I just, what's a, yeah, I don't know.

• 1:13:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, believe.

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  This is really cute because it will be three years. This has three diamonds and it'll be our three years this year. So, we had our first year and then I got diagnosed at our second year, so our whole second year of marriage. So I feel like the third year is like pretty exciting and cool to go into and like, what's the best thing that can happen, right?

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:13:52Jay Shetty?

  I love it. You did great.

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cool.

• 1:13:55Jay Shetty?

  You did great. That was it. It was just ones that stood out to you.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  Oh, look.

• 1:14:01Jay Shetty?

  He was the ones that stood out to you.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  That's cool. I like that.

• 1:14:04Jay Shetty?

  Well, Brisha, I think you're gonna go on to help a lot of people, save a lot of people. This has become part of your purpose and the way you're acting and sharing already. And I, I think you're gonna continue to inspire people through anything you choose to do.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Thank you.

• 1:14:17Jay Shetty?

  I truly believe that. I really believe that through sharing this message, through sharing your journey and story. But even beyond that, I think anything you choose to go and do moving forward will inspire people because of how you go about it, how you carry yourself, how wonderful and thoughtful you are with everyone, how present you are. I think there's so many incredible qualities you have that I can't wait for the world to experience and

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:14:40Jay Shetty?

  For people to share with. So, yeah, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for trusting me, coming on the show to share your story. When I met you, I was blown away and I couldn't think of a better guest to have on the show.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:14:53Jay Shetty?

  The fact that you came out when you're still, you know, got a treatment left. And I know this isn't easy for you physically, mentally, emotionally, but you're still here and.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  You make it easy. You're pretty good. You're good at this shit. Yeah, no.

• 1:15:06Jay Shetty?

  You make it easy.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  I feel like, yeah.

• 1:15:09Jay Shetty?

  You're just so raw and vulnerable and that's what makes it, that's why people love you. It's why people love learning and following the journey with you because can tell it's all real. So, you know, it's incredible. Thank you. If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my conversation with Meghan Trainor on breaking generational trauma and how to be confident from the inside out.

• 1:15:29Speaker 04

  My therapist told me, stand in the mirror naked for five minutes. Put a timer on and just look at yourself. Day one, I was literally shaking because I was like, mm-mm. Like, it was already tough for me to love my body.

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon Fall Drop because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's Fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces. So I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 1:16:11Speaker 05

  This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series East of Eden. A bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece, following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity. Starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask Brothers. And Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants. No matter the cost, watch East of Eden October 1st only on Netflix.

• 1:16:40Speaker 06

  Mr. President, my company foreme of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Ravenette.

• 1:16:57Jay Shetty?

  What would happen if I stopped going? You start, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:17:01Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:17:05Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Out of middle without parent.