932. Real Talk: The Illusion of Permission (Nobody Owes You The Starting Line)

On today’s Real Talk, Andy breaks down the illusion of permission when it comes to chasing your goals, why talent means nothing without execution, and why everyone who achieves big starts ugly. If you want it you have to start now because nobody’s coming to give you permission.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of our society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk. Now I know, I know yesterday I said that we were gonna have CTI today, but DJ and Alex decided that they were gonna have their baby. So it just totally fucked up our whole schedule and he's probably gonna get fired, you know,

• 0:46Andy Frisella?

  but it's all good cuz I'm gonna carry the water like I always do and I'm gonna give you a real talk today. You know, as I'm recording this, it is September 1st, okay? And I've seen a lot of people online talking about how, "Oh my god, it's September 1st", or, "Oh, I can't believe it's September 1st." And they've wasted their whole year, okay? And that is something that really, I'm confused by.

• 1:28Andy Frisella?

  Because the reality is, is that people come along every single year, they say they're gonna make these changes, they say they're gonna do these things, they say they're gonna become all these things that they really wanna become, and they never, ever do it, okay? And I wanna talk to the young people about this real quick. Because a lot of you guys who are older, you're gonna do this your whole life. You're gonna do this from now until you're in the hole, alright? And uh...

• 2:00Andy Frisella?

  I can't fix some of you guys, but what I can do is I could tell the young people out here, the truth of what it's going to take to succeed. And today I have just five little points I want to make to you guys for you young guys that will help you be productive. So you don't become one of these people who wastes year after year after year saying tomorrow and you know, ends up wasting their entire life, which happens all the time. Okay. I used to think just like you, that someone was going to come down from the heavens and give me permission. I used to think

• 2:44Andy Frisella?

  that someone who was more successful than me was going to come to me and say, Andy, I really believe you have what it takes. Let me take you under my wing and show you how to do this. I believed that success was some sort of club that you got invited into, but it's not. Okay. Nobody is going to give you the opportunity. Nobody is going to open the door. You are going to have to break it the fuck down. That is what you have to understand. Okay. This idea of waiting,

• 3:23Andy Frisella?

  this idea of just hoping that the world works with everything that we want and eventually time will produce this life that we actually want is bullshit. You have to make it happen on your own. And I'm speaking to the young people out here. I'm speaking to those people who think they have unlimited time, who think they have a long life. Look dude, I remember being 22 like it was yesterday, like it was yesterday. And I know that sounds like some old man shit, but the truth of the matter is it goes fast and you don't have as much time as you think. You just

• 4:08Andy Frisella?

  don't. Okay. So the first point is this.

• 4:14Andy Frisella?

  Life doesn't give a fuck how young you are. It doesn't care how experienced you are. It doesn't care where you're at. It doesn't care where you came from. None of the shit matters. Okay. And you have to understand, no matter what you've been told, no matter what you've been taught, the world does not reward mediocre performance. Okay. It does not hand out participation trophies. No matter how special your teacher said you were, no matter how special your parents say you might be, the world doesn't give a shit. All right. It doesn't care if you don't know anything. It doesn't care if you're trying to figure it out. It doesn't take it easy on you because you're inexperienced.

• 4:58Andy Frisella?

  Okay. The clock is ticking no matter what. And you have to understand that when you are young, you have this ridiculous opportunity to get ahead because typically you don't have the same amount of commitments. You don't have the same amount of responsibilities. And unfortunately, we have these people online telling these young people, "Hey, man, you can use your twenties to fucking do whatever you want." Sure, you can, except then your thirties are going to be a fucking hustle show that you're gonna hate because you're gonna have to put 20 years of work into 10 to get where you are. And then most people quit and never become what it is they want to become. So you

• 5:40Andy Frisella?

  have to understand that just because you're 20 years old, just because you're 25, does not give you the excuse to coast. You should be using this time to be productive and to learn and to try and figure out legitimately what it is you're trying to do. That doesn't mean I'm going to go to Ibiza four times a year and fuck off. What it means is you're gonna think about things, you're gonna analyze things, you're gonna take actions, you're gonna fail, you're gonna learn, you're gonna get better, and you're gonna build a fucking skill set when you're still young. There is no bigger advantage to you than that. Okay. I am very, very fortunate that during

• 6:23Andy Frisella?

  my twenties, I took my shit relatively serious. I could've went way harder. I could've tried a lot harder. I could've been dedicated. But at the end of the day, I was doing something and that's something got me here.

• 6:38Andy Frisella?

  And according to a lot of you, you want to be a version of that. And I'm going to tell you right now, you cannot do that by saying, oh, I got time. Oh, I got time. Oh, you know what? I'm only 20. I got time. No, you don't. Not if you got big dreams, not if you got legendary aspirations. Okay. And you don't want to be one of these douchebags that leases a Huracan for 144 months and think you made it. I'm talking about real success. I'm talking about 360 success. I'm talking about building a fucking life that you are so motherfucking proud of that you can't be shaken from who the fuck you are. Okay?

• 7:19Andy Frisella?

  Life doesn't care if you're young. That's the first point. Okay? The second point I want you to understand is this, talent is not enough. Okay. You could be smart. You could be intelligent. You could be creative. You can have all the ideas in the world. You could be full of potential and nobody gives a fuck until you actually build something real. Okay? Action always beats potential every single motherfucking time. Hard workers will beat talented people that don't work. We've all heard the saying. We've all heard it, right? Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work. Well, most of the fucking talent out there doesn't work. Okay?

• 8:00Andy Frisella?

  And by the way, you probably don't have that much talent. And the good news is you don't need it. All you need to do is show up every motherfucking day, refuse to quit, and then be smart enough to learn from your mistakes. And hopefully learn from the mistakes of the people you compete with. And if you can do those things and apply those lessons moving forward and never fucking allow yourself to quit because you built yourself into a fucking machine of discipline and grit and fortitude and endurance. You can't be stopped. You cannot be stopped. Okay?

• 8:44Andy Frisella?

  So don't get upset that you don't. Have all the talent. Don't get upset that you gotta struggle. Every motherfucker out there that ever became what it is that you might admire, came from struggle, came from hardship. They did not have it easy like you think they did, like society says they did. Most of the most successful people in the world had to fight every motherfucking step, which is why they are who they are. So quit thinking because it's hard for you, you got screwed over. You didn't, you got blessed with an opportunity to become great. Okay, point number three. Everyone starts ugly, fucking all of them.

• 9:28Andy Frisella?

  Okay, nobody knows what they're doing in the beginning. We all look stupid. We're all afraid of getting laughed at and guess what? We do. But what's worse, getting laughed at? Or being a fucking loser your entire life? I'll tell you this, I got laughed at the entire time I've been doing this. I get laughed at now. You see the motherfucking comments. You see what people say. I do not give a fuck if someone laughs at me, bro. Because you know what? When I walk the fuck out of my house, I get in a fucking Bugatti or another Bugatti or whatever the fuck else I want.

• 10:10Andy Frisella?

  And I go to my place of business, which I love and build amazing shit with people I love and create the ultimate life that I've always dreamed about creating, not just for me, but for everyone around me. So I don't give two shits who laughs at it. I don't care. And you shouldn't either. Losers laugh, winners build. That's the reality. So when we think about how it's gonna be along the way, you cannot expect yourself to be great at something when you haven't put in the fucking time or the reps or the energy. It's not gonna happen. And I want you to think about this.

• 10:51Andy Frisella?

  How arrogant are you to think that you're going to be great at something from the start when all the people you admire had to struggle for years and years and years to get to that point?

• 11:06Andy Frisella?

  Do you not understand how arrogant that sounds? You're telling me you're better than all those people? You have more talent than all those people? You get to skip the fucking struggle because of why? Please explain it to me.

• 11:20Andy Frisella?

  Because it's bullshit. We all start ugly. We all get our asses kicked. We all get laughed at. We all get made fun of. It's part of the process. And you can't avoid it. Point number four. You have to stop asking advice from people who haven't done what it is you want to do. If your mom, or your dad, or your uncle, or your aunt, or your teachers, or fucking anyone, hasn't done what it is you want to do, you shouldn't listen to them about how to do it because they don't know.

• 12:03Andy Frisella?

  And it is no different for all these knuckleheads on the internet, selling you how to do this and how to do that. Just because they might be in a better spot, or appear to be in a better spot than you right now, does not mean that they are actually successful. When you start out in the game, it is easy to look at anybody who appears to have more things going on than you, and attribute that to them knowing what they're doing. That is not true. Okay? We live in this world of fucking smoke and mirrors, and people have figured out how to appear to be successful without actually being successful.

• 12:48Andy Frisella?

  So it's very simple. You have to vet where you're taking your lessons from. If you don't do that, you will end up listening to someone who could potentially cost you everything. And that happens over and over again for some people because they simply can't vet their source. They can't figure out that just because someone loves them, doesn't mean they know how to win. They can't figure out that just because someone has a fucking hurricane on the internet, that these people know how to build a fucking business. Okay, you have to look beneath the surface. What have they done? What have they built? What is their business? Can I shop there?

• 13:33Andy Frisella?

  Do they employ people? What's the product like? What's the customer experience like? We could go on and on and on and on. Is this actually real? Or is this smoke in mirrors? Have they built any real shit? Or do they just sell courses on how to build real shit? These are things that matter. These are things that will cost you time and energy and effort over and over and over again. And if you listen to too many of them, it will fucking crush you. So you have to understand, if they haven't done it, you shouldn't listen to them. That doesn't mean you have to be rude. It doesn't mean you have to be mean. It doesn't mean you

• 14:17Andy Frisella?

  gotta tell your parents to eat shit. What it means very simply is, put some fucking earplugs in when they start telling you how to do shit and understand if they knew how to do it, they would have fucking done it themselves. Okay? And point number five, nobody is fucking coming. Motivation fades. Guidance is rare and it's often wrong. Nobody's gonna come wake you up and shake you out of bed and say, here's your critical task that you need to do today to become the version of yourself 10 years from now that you ultimately want to become. Nobody's gonna check up on you. Nobody's gonna hold your hand. Nobody's gonna pull you through

• 14:58Andy Frisella?

  the motherfucking fire. Nobody. Most of these people haven't even been through it themselves. You're gonna have to walk alone. A lot of times, you're gonna have to make sacrifices. You're gonna have to understand for this big goal that you're trying to create, it's going to have a

• 15:18Andy Frisella?

  That price is going to look different for everybody. For some people, they're gonna move on from their friends, or their girlfriends and boyfriends, or maybe even a wife and husband. Who knows? But winning is fucking hard, and these things cost in real life. But you have to understand, it doesn't matter how you feel. It doesn't matter what people say to you. It doesn't matter if they laugh at you. It doesn't matter if you're tired, if you're sore, if you're beat up. You're gonna be all those things, and all those things are gonna happen.

• 15:58Andy Frisella?

  You are gonna have to build yourself into someone who can execute regardless. And when you become that version of you, who can do what needs to be done, regardless of what's going on in their life, regardless if they're tired, regardless if they're sore, regardless if their husband yells at them, or their wife yells at them, regardless if they have all the stress in the world bearing down onto their fucking head,

• 16:32Andy Frisella?

  they still get up and execute. They still move forward, no matter what. And if you can build yourself into someone who can behave that way, there is not a motherfucking thing on this planet that can stop you. So you have to understand, you have a choice. You can be like everybody else. You can live the life they live. You can listen to them. You can bullshit with them. You can drink your life away and fuck your life away. Or you can get real motherfucking serious right now. And you can listen to someone who's actually done a lot of the things that you wanna do.

• 17:16Andy Frisella?

  And you can start today, right now, real fucking ugly, and start building the life that you actually want.