Control Your Identity Change Your Life

THIS is the MOST important skill in becoming the best version of yourself! It will literally change your life! In my own life, I'm always working on my self-confidence, my tactics and strategies, my ability to influence. But the thing I am MOST obsessed about... the thing I KNOW will take me to the next best version of myself, is constantly elevating my IDENTITY. The most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true to yourself! This is what your identity is made of! Your identity is like a THERMOSTAT setting The entire temperature of your life. And once you understand how to adjust this thermostat, you can adjust any area of your life you want to! In this episode, I'm teaching you my top strategies on how to understand, develop and control your identity so YOU can control the script of your life! WHO YOU BECOME is dictated by your ability to alter your identity and shape yourself into the next best version of yourself. THIS IS THE KEY! I PROMISE YOU, this is information you will hear/see nowhere else! I want to help you change your life, and this will be the best 25 min you could possibly invest In yourself , your colleagues and ANYONE YOU CARE! And yes , once again it’s FREE of Charge! You could pay $100,000 or go to every personal development seminar on earth and you will not get something that will help you this much! This is why people are saying my content is the best in the word today👊🏽 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  This is The Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:51Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I'm Ed Mylett. And today, I'm extremely excited to share these thoughts with you because I think what we're going to cover today may be the single most important thing that will lead to you reaching the ultimate version of yourself, your optimal results, your max out level of play, or not ever getting there. And so, it's that important to me. You know, people ask me often, what were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made the biggest difference for me in my life? And today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first. And that is the power of your identity. See, I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself. And that is what identity is.

• 2:34Ed Mylett?

  Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare has this incredible quote that says, "We know what we are, but not what we may be." And the who you may be is going to be dictated by your ability to alter your identity. Because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe you're worth and what you believe you deserve, or what is your identity. Your identity, the best analogy I could give you is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life. It sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas. And so, most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them.

• 3:19Ed Mylett?

  You've all heard the great saying that people in 12-step programs talk about, about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control. And the fact of the matter is, you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life. The good news is, it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this. External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game. You and your faith, your God, are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time. And this identity is that internal thermostat. It sets the temperature, just like a thermostat sitting on the wall, of the conditions of your entire life.

• 4:04Ed Mylett?

  Let me give you an example of how the thermostat of our lives works. The best analogy I could give you is exactly how one works in the room I'm sitting in. It sets the temperature of the room. And so, the external conditions don't impact the internal temperature of this room, because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room. So if we open the door and the windows in this room, and cold air blew in here, the thermostat would kick on, wouldn't it? And heat the room back up to 75 degrees. So no matter what hit it... It regulates the temperature of the room. The reverse is also true. If a bunch of hot air blew in the room, if we opened the doors and the windows, the thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees. Guess what? That's exactly how your life works. Once you accept this truth, it is a fact,

• 4:48Ed Mylett?

  that is not the external things that are happening, it's the internal thermostat. Too often in life, people don't work on changing their identity. They're always working on producing external results. Have you ever known somebody who was wealthy and no longer is? Have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does? How about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists? How about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again? If your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth and you're comfortable with your identity. You'll think it's coincidental. "Oh, this accident happened," or "this appointment canceled," "this circumstance took place." It's not coincidence. All of those things have happened because you

• 5:32Ed Mylett?

  set the thermostat of your life and you've regulated what you're going to get. Isn't that incredible? That you can learn all the talents, the behaviors, the skills, the tactics, all the strategies that I teach you. But if you don't alter that thermostat internally, you could have all of the skills of a 100-degree producer and you will live a 75-degree existence because you will turn the air conditioning of your life on, back down to cool it where you're comfortable. It's also true, by the way. You've seen this in your own life. Maybe you've had something really good going in business before. You've got momentum, it seems like things are happening great. And then you wake up four, five, six months later and you've cooled your life, your business, right back down to where it was before. Maybe you'd saved some money at one time and then coincidentally, your car broke down, or a bill happened, or there was a run of birthday parties

• 6:16Ed Mylett?

  and all of a sudden, that bank account's back to where it always was. It's not coincidental. You've cooled the conditions back down again. And so you've seen this happen. Maybe you got in great shape at one point, but your identity wasn't that fit a person and you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being. This is true in your faith and your relationships. By the way, you have multiple thermostat settings. You have one in your faith, you have one in your fitness, one in your money, one in your happiness, right? One in your business life. So there's multiple identities we have. The reverse is also true. There's been times in your life where the circumstances, the conditions were terrible. You thought you'd never get out of it, you're never gonna eat again. Well, guess what, you ate again, didn't you? And you heated your life back up to that same place again. So you've proven this over and over in your life, haven't you?

• 7:01Ed Mylett?

  So have I, so has every single human being. The governor on our life, the regulator of our life, is our identity, which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life. So the key in life is to learn all the thoughts, the skills, the tactics, and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us. But if we don't simultaneously change the conditions of our thermostat, change what we're comfortable living at, change our identity, our worth, change the thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and value we hold to ourself, we will cool or heat our life back to that regulated temperature. And so, I'm telling you, the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting.

• 7:46Ed Mylett?

  So that's what we're gonna talk about, some strategies on today. Just being aware that you need to alter the thermostat is a life-changing, liberating condition. I cover this in very specific detail in #maxoutyourlife, my book. It's a quick read, 100 pages. I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it, no fluff. If you want the book, go to maxoutbook.com. If you put in the code MAXOUT, I'll buy the book for you. So, I cover this in detail there. But I wanna cover it in detail right now with you as well. What you need to be doing is becoming aware of how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics. See, you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity,

• 8:30Ed Mylett?

  but you will produce the same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100, 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth, the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself. So, it is the regulator on our lives, and it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching, with some of the elite performers I work with in business, in athletics, in entertainment, in politics, is me working with them. On changing that internal thermostat where we can heat it higher and higher and higher. So that they can produce the results and the conditions of their life stay and exceed those levels all the time. In fact, in my own life, I'm always working on my self-confidence. I'm working on my tactics and strategies, my ability to influence, right? My thoughts, all of those different things.

• 9:15Ed Mylett?

  But the thing I'm most obsessed about that I know is going to get me to the ultimate version of me is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me. Adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher. So that I can get those conditions to match it because it always will. You will always get your thermostat setting, always in your life. So, can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting? I can. Let me give you a couple. The most powerful way and the easiest way to change your thermostat setting is by adding people to your circle, very close proximity, that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do. For example, in your faith, let's just say. You're a 75 degree or in your faith. You've already seen this.

• 9:57Ed Mylett?

  You can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good, godly people who pray regularly, who try to live righteously and they're at 110, 120 degrees of faith in their life and not have that proximity heat you up. Now, you won't get to where they are. You'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110. Over time, you become a 100 degreeer. And you alter the thermostat setting through association. Same in business. If you and I were to hang around each other every single day, and let's say you were a 75 degree or in business hypothetically, and I don't know that about you, but let's just say you were, and I was a 150 degreeer, and we hung around each other all the time. Don't you think through that association, especially if you had two or three or four people like me in your life, that just over time, you don't even feel it.

• 10:40Ed Mylett?

  You're at 80, you're at 85, you're at 90, you're at 95. And that's where you are. We understand the power of this with our children. Because we know at school, the teachers have influence over them, they're mentors. But the people that really have influence over our children are their friends because they're around them all the time. And so, we know it sets their temperature. This is true in fitness. If you're a 75 degree of fitness at every meal, every day at the gym, all your associations. Hypothetically speaking, we're with someone who is shredded and fit the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees. You know, over time, you get heated up. And so, you can't be with someone every day. You can't be with them all the time. But the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours. I am a product.

• 11:25Ed Mylett?

  You are listening to me right now because I've been so obsessed with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me. It's my obsession to this day. I'll give you a secret. One of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most to them through our proximity, and in some cases, they do it for me. And so, I'm obsessed with the power of association. But I don't just associate. See, all personalism says, "Yeah, you're the five people you hang around." Kinda. You really are the five to 10 people you hang around if you're conscious all the time

• 12:04Ed Mylett?

  of studying them, of observing them, of asking questions, of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting. That's when it really moves. It's not just hanging around. It's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you, where you study them, where you really observe them, where you're open to their influence. There has to be a level of trust before you can do that, where you surrender yourself to them. But it's not just being around them. It's intentionally being around people that alters that thermostat setting. So, power of association is the main way to do it. Second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time, behave completely differently.

• 12:44Ed Mylett?

  In a 30-day window of time, in your fitness life, you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to. Or, in your business life, you make 100 times more phone calls, 100 more contacts. You do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing, "My gosh, I could never go back where I was before." You trick your brain. Into believing you're different. There's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth. Well, if in a short window of time, I begin to behave completely differently, your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently. When you begin to do the things nobody else is willing to do, you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get. This is important also because it changes the water line. It's almost like a water line in the pool. If you raise it, it leaves a new mark.

• 13:27Ed Mylett?

  Have you ever seen that before in a lake or a pool? You raise the water line a short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life. It changes the thermostat setting. So you can alter things in your life in short bursts, and I do this often, in an area where I really need to change. Like right now, I just started back on a really seriously deeply committed fitness journey. I want to get back and past where I've ever been in fitness in my life. So I'm going to add some of these new associations. I'm going to train with a new group of people because I've been training alone. I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me, men and women that are fitter than me. That's my first combination. That'll alter my thermostat setting, our proximity. And secondly, I'm going psycho the next 30 days. I'm going psycho.

• 14:10Ed Mylett?

  I'm altering my nutrition and my diet dramatically, my workouts dramatically, and I'm going to shock my system in the next 30 days into changing the water line, changing that temperature setting. That's the second way you alter identity, alter the thermostat setting, so that you alter the external results. I've said this to you before as well. See, beliefs are so important to guard because once you have a belief, your brain goes to work. And I've said this in another audio, video, where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true. Your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right. And so that identity, you're constantly reinforcing it. Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you believe a certain worth about yourself, a certain identity, that impacts the type of action you're willing to take.

• 14:54Ed Mylett?

  So if there's a goal you've got set, it doesn't matter what it is, pick a goal. To the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it. It's a self fulfilling prophecy however, because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there, you will only make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth. And so, that limited effort you make, produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on. You will only make an effort consistent with the identity, which will get you to here, doesn't produce the result, and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself.

• 15:37Ed Mylett?

  So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously, you're in process of upgrading it, because that identity impacts the effort you make, right? Impacts the will you put towards it, and that will is reinforced by the lack of result. And so it becomes this self fulfilling prophecy. So your mind has this belief, it wants to prove to be true, and it starts to find references. So if you believe you're 75 degrees, it's gonna start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile, so it can't move to prove you right. And so our identity equals our effort, and the challenge is that effort produces the result. And so, this identity has everything to do with the effort you make,

• 16:20Ed Mylett?

  which produces the result, which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof. So it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals. The next layer of this is, you need to stop what's no longer needed. In other words, there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the past that were needed to produce the results you currently have. But you need to stop what's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed, but no longer is. Maybe there's a stress or an anxiety, or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself, that maybe you needed at some point in your life, that you no longer need. It could be something to protect yourself from fear, to protect yourself from harm,

• 17:05Ed Mylett?

  or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance. But if we're not conscious of dropping a thought or a behavior that's no longer needed, we take old thoughts, old behaviors... That serves an old version of ourself into trying to become the new version of ourselves. So ask yourself that question. What do I need to drop that's no longer needed? Is it a person? Is it a thought? Is it a behavior? Or is it an emotion? One of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past, that maybe you needed to get through a circumstance. Maybe you needed to get through a relationship, through a setback, through a failure, or just to produce the results you currently get. But that thought, that behavior, that emotion, that person is no longer needed

• 17:49Ed Mylett?

  for you to go to the next level of your identity, the next level of your performance, the next level of yourself. And then finally is this. If you're stuck, you're stuck in a story. That's where you're stuck. There's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore. And you have to evaluate what that story is. I'm serious. Right now if you say, "Ed, I'm kinda stuck where I am." Well, what you need to do is you need to alter your associations. You need to do something in a short window of time. No question about it. You definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed and evaluate the story you're telling yourself. There's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore. This is critical. Maybe it's a story about your past, a story about your parents, a story about a previous relationship, a story about a success you used to have,

• 18:34Ed Mylett?

  you keep talking about, that doesn't serve you to get to the next level. If I can be real with you, whatever you've achieved up to this point, that story you keep talking about, every second you spend in that old story about what you've achieved, your degree, some business you had, one thing you were real successful at in the past. Every time you live in that story, you're stripping time and focus from the new story. What's the new story you're telling yourself? You can't have a new identity without a new story. What's the old story you keep repeating? Maybe it's not a success. Maybe it's a failure that you've had. It was a business setback. It was the market turned. It was the economy. It was someone who did you wrong. A relationship that let you down. A business partner who wasn't consistent. A failure you've had. A poor decision you made.

• 19:19Ed Mylett?

  A mistake you made. In your life, and you're repeating this story to yourself simultaneously trying to create a new identity. You can't take that old story into the new identity. One of the things we have to do to create a new identity is to begin to tell a new story. What's your new story? Who are you now? What are you all about now? Where are you going now? What's this new version of you? See, here's what's amazing. At any point in your life, you can just decide to write a new script. You can decide to become a whole new character. See, the leading character in the story of your life is you. And guess what? You and God control the script. You could write a new script at any time you want. Listen to me.

• 20:01Ed Mylett?

  At any time you want, you can simply decide to be a new character. I'm strong now. I'm beautiful now. I'm handsome now. I'm bold now. I'm funny now. I'm smart now. I'm going there now. Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth. Nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure. No one cares if you've had a setback. No one cares if you had a victory. And none of those failures, none of those setbacks, none of those victories, and that old character you keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. It's a story if you're stuck. It's an old story you're telling with an old character that was last year's version, last decade's version. Who's the new character?

• 20:46Ed Mylett?

  What's the new script? What's the new story? I must tell you, I have a lot of weaknesses. A lot of things I do that don't serve me. But this identity thing, I get this. It's the key. Now, there's a lot of little mini things in life that matter. There's never one thing. If you said, "What's the key?" I can tell you, it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity. It's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking. That's number one. So I'm conscious of the concept. That's huge. Just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of 99.9% of the people. Just awareness of the power of identity. Just now, you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the 0.1% of all the people on the spinning earth right now.

• 21:30Ed Mylett?

  And then the next thing I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me that live at higher temperatures than me. The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of time to change the water line. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed. There were certain things I needed to think and do and say, or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have, that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm evaluating all the time, what is no longer needed? What emotion, what anxiety, what thought, what belief, what person, what behavior is no longer needed in my life? And then lastly, I never tell the old story. I don't like telling the old story.

• 22:14Ed Mylett?

  I'm constantly trying to write the new script, become the new character in my life. And it could just be the new emotions. It could be the new beliefs I have. It could be the new story, the new place I'm moving. But I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time. I'm constantly obsessed with writing the next chapter of my life, not reading the previous ones. The happiest and most fulfilled people don't read the past chapters of their life, whether they're good or bad, they are writing new ones all the time. These are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives, and ultimately are the keys of changing the external circumstances of our lives. I know today helped you. And so all I ask from you is that you share this.

• 22:57Ed Mylett?

  I want more of the people in the world that need to hear this message to hear it. All of my information is free. I teach specific tactical strategies that I hope are inspirational. And based on the growth of the show, the world is finding out about it. It's the number one downloaded audio in the world when you combine video and audio downloads. And so I just ask you to share this with people. If you're subscribed and you're listening to the audio version right now on iTunes or Spotify, make sure you go over to YouTube and subscribe to the YouTube channel so you get the video version, because I'm gonna put content on each platform that's different going forward. If you're watching this on YouTube, go subscribe to one of the audio platforms and share it with somebody. Every day on Instagram, we run the Max Out 2 Minute Drill in an effort to engage closer with you. I read all your comments. I reply to most of them. First off, make sure you're following me on Instagram, turning notifications on,

• 23:42Ed Mylett?

  because in the first 2 minutes, if you make a comment on my main post with hashtag Max Out in the first 2 minutes, we take all the people to do that. Every single day, we pick a winner. Some of them write autographed copies of my book. A coaching call with me, coaching call with some of the guests on my show, max out gear, anything we can do to connect with you deeper, we do. We pick a winner every single day that comment in the first two minutes. And if you miss the first two minutes because for whatever reason, life happens, as long as you make a comment on every post I make in a week, I usually make four, five, six posts. As long as you just comment every day at any time, at the end of the week, we add up people, all the people who commented every day, we pick a winner from there as well that I can engage with. So I want to challenge you to engage with me on social media more deeply as well. I hope the program is helping you and I'm just here to help you max out your life

• 24:26Ed Mylett?

  and become the best version of yourself, become happier, more fulfilled and more productive. God bless you.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.