987 Relationships in Quarantine: Finding Love, and Thriving

On today's 5-minute Friday, Lewis lets us peek inside his heart and home, unpacking the last 6 months of a challenging yet deeply rewarding relationship with his girlfriend, Yanet. He describes how they've grown closer and stronger during the quarantine. The Power of Erotic Intelligence with Esther Perel: https://link.chtbl.com/732-podFind Lasting Love with Matthew Hussey: https://link.chtbl.com/811-pod%22 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  I want to start this episode with a Turkish proverb. No road is long with good company. Now, I've had a long, long road to finding an amazing partner. The partner that I have right now with my lady Jeanette. And we met after 15 years of me just being in relationships and never truly figuring out the type of person I wanted to be with. I kind of always just started dating people that I liked, that I was interested in, but I wasn't really thoughtful about the type of partner I wanted to have long term. I was more just kind of choosing off of attraction or off of interest and us going on a couple of dates and kind of following down a road of hanging out more and more.

• 0:52Lewis Howes?

  And then just kind of being in a relationship. And this happened for many relationships over the past 15 years. And I want to do a full episode on this at another time. If you're interested in me talking about this and figuring out how I found an amazing partner. So if you want that from me, let me know. Send me a message on social media or email and let me know. And we'll do a full episode on this. But it was a long road in finding my girlfriend Jeanette. And we're both excited about creating memories and adventures and life together, but we also both know that we can be okay alone. If we're not together, it's going to be okay also. And I think that's the first time that's really been like, wow, yes, I want to be with this person,

• 1:36Lewis Howes?

  but I know that if it doesn't work out, I'll be okay. And she knows that she'll be okay. And that grounding gives us such peace and less pressure. We started dating after a breakup I went through, the last relationship I went through. It was amazing because it was just different from the start because I did this process of getting clear on exactly what I wanted. And this process was a huge game changer for me. We decided to live together in the last six months. She moved in right before COVID. And I'll tell you what, it was a crazy time because I knew that it would be hard moving in with someone and living together by itself. Then COVID hit and man, it was quickly trying to figure out, is this going to work?

• 2:20Lewis Howes?

  And are these challenges going to make us break up at some point? Or actually going to bring us together? A couple of weeks ago, she went home to see her family, to hang out with her sisters and her mom. And, and I was alone for the first time in six months. And since being alone for a couple of weeks, I started reflecting on my time with Jeanette and our relationship. What I've learned, what I've learned about spending time alone. And I'll tell you what, I'm a simple guy, but I'm also a complex guy. I love being around people. I love being around lots of people and interacting. I love spending time with my girlfriend, but I also love being alone. And I enjoy both experiences.

• 3:02Lewis Howes?

  So for me, it's something that I've learned about myself that 15 years ago, I would have not been happy alone. I would have not been comfortable because I was very insecure and I needed to be around people. And I, I, I stayed in relationships because I was afraid to be alone. And that's why a lot of the times that didn't work out because I was being in them for the wrong reasons. And my insecurities led the way as opposed to my vision for the relationships I wanted to create. And what I've learned is that when you are clear on exactly what you want in your relationship. And when you are clear on if that lines up with the vision you have for your life, for your own dreams, with your family, with your health, with your identity, with your lifestyle, with your sleeping patterns, everything.

• 3:46Lewis Howes?

  It all plays in based on the person you choose to be with and spend a majority of your time with. And the last six months of us spending time together, we went through a lot of difficulty. From her moving from another country and speaking a different language to having a different culture, different expectations on what a relationship looks like. And us having to just deal with that challenge. Then we also had to deal with things at home for her in Mexico, where she was just going through a lot of personal challenges and deaths close to the family and struggles with the home that she was building and just challenges in general that were happening.

• 4:29Lewis Howes?

  And she was in LA and wasn't able to really leave and do anything and she didn't know anyone. And so there was a challenge there figuring out how we're going to communicate during that time. There was just a lot of different challenges. Then Kobe Bryant died unfortunately and sadly, and that really affected me when that happened. And then coronavirus and then me figuring out what's the next moves for my business and her supporting me. And all of it was just like, wow, okay, we're going to figure out in this six months. Are we going to work out or was this a nice year experience of dating each other? And you know, we're not the right fit. And I'm so grateful because I remember telling her before she moved in with me. I said, you know, we're going to find out within six months whether this is going to work or not.

• 5:11Lewis Howes?

  And I didn't know all this stuff was going to happen when I was saying this, but I was just like, we are going to find out within six months. If this is going to work or not. And for me, I feel like the love is stronger. You know, we had our challenges, we had arguments, we had stressful nights, all these things, but it made us stronger. Because we both were willing to set our egos aside and focus on what do we want? What is our vision? How can we come together with our vision, with our differences from culture, with our differences from language, with our differences from expectations? Do we love each other enough to stay together, to be together, to thrive together, to grow together? Or is it not worth it? So far, we've found that it's very worth it. We have a stronger connection more than ever because of the challenges we face.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  And I almost hope that every relationship goes through some type of adversity early on. Where you get to figure out, okay, is this a person I really want to be with? You get to see how they handle adversity, how they emotionally adapt to tough times. And I don't know a tougher time than people dying in your life and stress in your finances and stress in your health and a pandemic. I don't know a more challenging and adverse time in the last 20 years. Where it all has come at once in many different areas of life for us to see like, okay, we got through this in a pretty strong way. And I'm very, very grateful. And I also think that space is important. I know we've had different episodes on relationships

• 6:37Lewis Howes?

  during quarantine, how to have space so that you don't, you know, get at each other's throats every day. And I think having space for me to reflect and be alone for a couple of weeks while she's with her family in Mexico has been beautiful for me and for her because it makes us appreciate each other and it really allows us to continue to focus on what we want to create together for the future. So these are just some thoughts I want to share with you. If you want me to do a full episode on how we met and the whole process of what I've learned about finding a partner based on values, based on a vision and based on a process, not being too analytical, but as I look back at it, I truly did things differently

• 7:17Lewis Howes?

  than an old pattern I was repeating for 15 years. And I really looked within to ask myself, you know, what are the things that I'm doing wrong to attract someone that that isn't the right fit? And what can I do to shift and change moving forward? So if you're interested in that, feel free to message me on Instagram or Twitter or anywhere on social media or send us an email at our support email and let me know what you think. If you enjoyed this episode, if you enjoyed any of our recent episodes, we've had some amazing guests recently and we've got a big guest coming up next week, then please subscribe on Apple Podcast and click that review button and leave us a five star review and share your thoughts with us there on what you've enjoyed the most about this podcast. Every

• 7:59Lewis Howes?

  time we get people that subscribe, it helps us spread the message of love, positivity and greatness to the world on that platform. So please click the subscribe button now on Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review. And if you want inspirational texts from me every week, then text the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And I started with a Turkish proverb, but I'll say goodbye with a Swedish proverb. Shared joy is a double joy. Shared sorrow is a half sorrow. If no one has reminded you, you matter, you are loved and you are worth it. And as always, you know, time it is, it's time to go out there and do something great.