#472: Books I've Loved — Debbie Millman

Books I've Loved — Debbie Millman | Brought to you by Audible http://audible.com/tim. Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show http://tim.blog/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-description, where it is my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types—from startup founders and investors to chess champions to Olympic athletes. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a shorter series I’m doing called “Books I’ve Loved.” I’ve invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite books—the books that have influenced them, changed them, and transformed them for the better. I hope you pick up one or two new mentors—in the form of books—from this new series and apply the lessons in your own life. Please note that this episode was recorded in late 2019. Debbie Millman https://tim.blog/2017/01/12/how-to-design-a-life-debbie-millman/ (@debbiemillman https://twitter.com/debbiemillman?lang=en) has been named one of the most creative people in business by Fast Company, and she is the host ofDesign Matters https://www.designmattersmedia.com/designmatters—a great show and one of the world’s longest running podcasts. She is also Chair of the Masters in Branding Program at the School of Visual Arts and Editorial Director of Print magazine, and she has worked on design strategy for some of the world’s largest brands. “Books I’ve Loved” on The Tim Ferriss Show is brought to you by Audible http://audible.com/tim! I have used Audible http://audible.com/tim for many years now. I love it. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. I listen when I’m taking walks, I listen while I’m cooking… I listen whenever I can. Audible http://audible.com/tim is offering Tim Ferriss Show listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to Audible.com/Tim http://audible.com/tim and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs. Then, download your free title and start listening! It’s that easy. Simply go to Audible.com/Tim http://audible.com/tim or text TIM to 500500 to get started today. *** If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-tim-ferriss-show/id863897795?mt=2/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests. For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast https://tim.blog/podcast/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-description. Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-1/. 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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  At this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start to shake. Can I ask you a personal question?

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Now would be the suitable time.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  I'm a cybernetic organism, living tissue over metal endoskeleton.

• 0:24Tim Ferriss?

  Books I've Loved on the Tim Ferriss Show is exclusively brought to you by Audible. There couldn't be a better sponsor for this series, my dear listeners and readers. I have used Audible for so many years, as long as I can remember. I love it. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. I listen when I'm taking walks, I listen while I'm cooking, I listen whenever I can. And if you're looking for a place to start, I can recommend three of my favorites. The first is The Tao of Seneca by Seneca. If you want to hear my favorite letters of all time, touches on Stoic philosophy, calmness under duress, etc. The next is The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, G-A-I-M-A-N.

• 1:07Tim Ferriss?

  One of my favorites. Even if you're a nonfiction purist, this is the fiction book that you need to listen to. Neil also has perhaps the most calming voice of all time. And third, Greg McKeown's Essentialism, subtitle, "The Disciplined Pursuit of Less." This is one of my favorite books of the past few years. Combines very well with the 80/20 principle. But more on Audible. Every month, Audible members get one credit for any audiobook on the site, plus a choice of multiple Audible originals from a rotating selection. They also get access to daily news digests from the likes of The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post, as well as guided meditation programs. And here are some other amazing Audible features, and I use a bunch of these.

• 1:49Tim Ferriss?

  You can download titles and listen offline anytime, anywhere. I use this feature even when I could get access. I'll put my phone on, say, airplane mode, because I don't want to get bothered with notifications and I'm taking a walk to clear my head, and you can listen to titles offline in a case like that, or on a plane, or whatever. Obviously, I'm not flying much these days. App is free and can be installed on all smartphones and tablets. You can listen across devices without losing your spot. And WhisperSync is another feature I use quite a lot. I love reading my Kindle in bed, for instance, then picking up at the same exact spot where I left off when I go walking and listening the next day. Kindle and audio versions can be synced up automatically. It's just amazing.

• 2:33Tim Ferriss?

  And if you can't decide what to listen to, don't sweat it. You don't have to rush. You can keep your credits for up to a year and use them, for instance, to binge on a whole series, if you like. Audible offers just about everything: podcasts, guided wellness programs, theatrical performances, A-list comedy, and Audible originals you won't find anywhere else. And right now, Audible is offering you guys, that's Tim Ferriss Show listeners, a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. And again, my list, if you want to check them out: The Tao of Seneca, The Graveyard Book, Essentialism, those are just three. There's so many good ones out there. Just go to audible.com/tim and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs. Then download your free title and start listening. It's that easy.

• 3:18Tim Ferriss?

  So check it out. Go to audible.com/tim or text TIM to 500-500 to get started today. Check it out, audible.com/tim. Hello, boys and girls, ladies and germs. This is Tim Ferriss. Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is usually my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types: startup founders, investors, chess champions, Olympic athletes, you name it, to tease out the habits that you can apply in your own lives. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a short-form series that I'm doing simply called Books I've Loved. I've invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite

• 4:03Tim Ferriss?

  books, describe their favorite books, the books that have influenced them, changed them, transformed them for the better. And I hope you pick up one or two new mentors in the form of books from this new series and apply the lessons in your own life. I had a lot of fun putting this together, inviting these people to participate, and have learned so, so much myself. I hope that is also the case for you. Please enjoy.

• 4:30Debbie Millman?

  My name is Debbie Millman, and I am a designer, the author of six books, the editorial director of Print Magazine, the chair of the Masters in Branding Program at the School of Visual Arts in New York City, and host of one of the world's longest-running podcasts, Design Matters. When I was a kid, there were lots of rules in my house. One of the most horrific for me at the time was the very limited amount of television I was allowed to watch. As a result, I read, and I read a lot. I read books, magazines, newspapers, encyclopedias, and comic books. I even borrowed my mother's red book and Ladies' Home Journal and snuck into my father's library to read the steamy sections of The Godfather when I was sure that no one would catch me.

• 5:15Debbie Millman?

  My fascination with books began as soon as I could read, and golden books were my favorite. As soon as I got into grade school, I was introduced to the Weekly Reader, and there was nothing, nothing, I looked forward to more than the moment every week when Mrs. Mayer handed out those gorgeous publications. By third grade, I was introduced to the Scholastic Book Club. And while my folks were stingy with television privileges, they were quite generous with my book allowance. I ordered as many books as I could afford, and when the boxes came in with my name on them, I spent a moment gingerly fingering the corrugated brown carton. I'd sit for a minute or two and imagine what was inside, what the books would be like, and of course, how they would look. I've been in love with books ever since.

• 6:00Debbie Millman?

  In university, I majored in English literature and minored in Russian literature. And though I often joke now that I got a college degree in reading, I really have no regrets. Books have sustained me, nourished me, provided solace in lonely times, and in one case, inspired me to fall in love and subsequently changed my life. The books on my list are some of the books that have inspired and moved me over the course of my life. These books, as Marcel Proust's famous description of the Madeleine, ultimately reach the clear surface of my consciousness, this memory, this old, dead moment, which the magnetism of an identical moment has traveled so far to, in partune,

• 6:41Debbie Millman?

  to disturb, to raise up out of the depths of my being. But when, from a long distant past, nothing subsists, after people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised in a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest, and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection. The following books are some of my favorite and are told in the order of my discovering them. The Little Golden Book of Words, written by Selma Lola Chambers, has been out of

• 7:26Debbie Millman?

  print for a long, long time. Originally published in 1948, it includes gorgeous illustrations by Gertrude Elliott, and it is one of the first books I ever remember reading. When I was trying to find the book again as an adult, I couldn't remember the title. I recalled it had little scraps of paper on the cover and featured different illustrations of pets and fruit. Somehow, I remembered a carrot. I thought the book was about art, as the main image I had in my head was simply, poignantly rendered color wheels. Before, long before eBay, I searched for the book in New York City flea markets, and finally, I found it. But I discovered it wasn't a book about art. Ironically enough, it's titled Words, but

• 8:09Debbie Millman?

  the color wheel was still there. The entire book is magical and perfect. In college, I read The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy Gentlemen by Laurence Stern. It was first published in 1759. Stern incorporated other texts from other books, Robert Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy, Francis Bacon's Of Death, and many more, into Tristram Shandy. The book also references John Locke's theories of empiricism, the way we organize what we know about ourselves via the power of association of our ideas, and employs visual techniques never, ever seen before in any book prior. The book is remarkable in that it precedes modernism, postmodernism, and conceptual art by utilizing

• 8:53Debbie Millman?

  these techniques: blank chapters, black chapters, white pages, playful type and doodles. And it was all done in 1759. The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy Gentlemen is now seen as a forerunner of the use of stream of consciousness and self-reflexive writing. It is mind-blowing in its entirety and one of the most inventive, original books ever written. A book that I keep going back to over and over, and is one that I included in my interview with Tim Ferriss in his book Tribe of Mentors, is the anthology The Voice That Is Great Within Us: American Poetry of the 20th Century. Gorgeously, thoughtfully, and carefully edited by Hayden Carruth, it was required reading in a summer college

• 9:37Debbie Millman?

  class I attended back in the early 1980s. This funny-looking book introduced me to my most treasured, deeply-felt poem, Maximus to Himself by Charles Olson, which has since become the blueprint of my life, as well as the poetry of Denise Levertov, Adrienne Rich, Ezra Pound, Wallace Stevens, and so many more. I still have my original copy, and though the cover has come off and the spine is cracked in numerous places, I will never replace it. I first read Love in the Time of cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in the late 1980s. The book takes place in an unnamed port city in the Caribbean and remains unnamed throughout the novel. Headstrong for Mina Daza is the female lead in the story. And after a brief love affair through

• 10:22Debbie Millman?

  letters with Florentino Ariza, she ultimately rejects him and marries Juvenel Urbino. Lovesick and forlorn, Ariza is obsessed and tormented by his love for Firmina Daza. "It's no use," he tells his uncle at the beginning of the novel, "love is the only thing that interests me." And love, he does. Though Florentino Ariza believes that Firmina Daza is his soulmate and vows to remain faithful to her, he proceeds to engage in 662 affairs over the next 50 years. He does this while sincerely believing that he is saving his heart and his virginity for her. When Firmina's husband finally dies, Ariza immediately returns to her, and she slowly

• 11:05Debbie Millman?

  realizes that she has loved him her whole life. All along, they embark on a voyage to sail the Magdalena River, and in an attempt to keep other passengers from boarding the boat, the captain raises the Yellow Flag of cholera. He asks Ariza for how long they could possibly keep coming and going in this manner. "Forever," is his one-word reply. Love in the Time of Cholera is perhaps the most perfect book ever written. Perverse Optimist by Tibor Kalman and edited by Michael Beirut and Peter Hall truly influenced how I practice the discipline of design. Tibor Kalman is one of the most influential designers of the 20th century.

• 11:47Debbie Millman?

  He founded the design firm Emman Company, named for his wife, Myra Kalman, and produced groundbreaking work for The Talking Heads, Restaurant Florent, The Limited, and Interview Magazine. He also had a keen eye for great talent and hired the designers, including Stefan Sagmeister, Stephen Doyle, Emily Oberman, Alexander Isley, Scott Stow, and Alexander Brebner, who all went on to create their own firms or have joined other firms and have had great, great success. Perverse Optimist first published one year after Tibor's death in 1999, features anecdotes and commentary from Kalman's clients, his staff, his peers, and his friends.

• 12:29Debbie Millman?

  It is an incredible book about an incredible designer, thinker, and bad boy provocateur. My next book is General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Faria Amini, and Richard Lannan. We are now surrounded by a world of activity that can't be seen. The patterns produced by the splash of a raindrop happen too fast for our eyes to catch. Is it possible we could direct our brains to see more? The authors of A General Theory of Love, written in 2001, write this. "The scientist and artist both speak to the turmoil that comes from having a triune brain. A person cannot direct his emotional life in the way he bids his motor system to reach for a cup.

• 13:10Debbie Millman?

  He cannot will himself to want the right thing, or to love the right person, or to be happy after disappointment, or even to be happy in happy times. People lack this capacity, not through a deficiency of discipline, but because of the jurisdiction of will is limited to the latest brain and to those functions within its purview. Emotional life can be influenced, but it cannot be commanded. Our society's love affair with mechanical devices that respond at a button touch does not prepare us to deal with the unruly, organic mind that dwells within. Anything that does not comply must be broken or poorly designed." Which, as Charles Olson might say, makes for difficulties.

• 13:52Debbie Millman?

  Our neocortical brain has the ability to organize and convey logic and reason. The limbic brain inspires and can involuntarily feel love. Yet, according to Lewis, "The verbal rendition of emotional material demands a difficult transmutation. Poetry, a bridge between the neocortical and limbic brains, is simultaneously improbable and powerful." A General Theory of Love is a book about human love in all its forms and is written in a brilliant, poetry-inspired narrative. I'm going to be talking about two books now, together. Pattern Recognition by William Gibson and Brand Gap by Marty Neumeyer. In his novel Pattern Recognition, William Gibson has one of his characters describe branding in this way.

• 14:36Debbie Millman?

  All truly viable advertising addresses the older, deeper mind, beyond language and logic. You know, in your limbic brain, the seat of instinct, the mammalian brain, deeper, wider, beyond logic. What we think of as mind is only a sort of jumped up gland, piggybacking on the reptilian brainstem and the older mammalian mind. But it is our culture that tricks us into recognizing it as all of consciousness. The mammalian spreads continentwide beneath it, mute and muscular, attending its ancient agenda. And it makes us buy things. I think that we do buy things to help us fit in and feel more comfortable. And being part of

• 15:19Debbie Millman?

  a larger tribe, so to speak, is no doubt one of the benefits of branding. Brands create intimate worlds inhabitants can understand and where they can be somebody and feel as if they belong. I think Marty Neumeyer states it best when he confides his thoughts about tribes that he belongs to in his book, The Brand Gap. We can belong to the Callaway Club when we play golf, the Volkswagen tribe when we drive to work, the Williams Sonoma tribe when we cook a meal, the Nike club when we work out. He goes on to say, "As a weekend athlete, my two nagging doubts are that I might be congenitally lazy and that I might have little actual ability. But I'm not really worried about my shoes. When the Nike folks say, 'Just do it,' they're peering into my soul. I begin to feel that

• 16:02Debbie Millman?

  if they understand me that well, their shoes are probably pretty good. I'm then willing to join the tribe of Nike." But to see the world in brand tribes is to take possession of much more than just a theory of the world. It is to possess a theory of all the activity in it, perhaps an entire science, an ethology that could tell us everything we want to know about human behavior. I think the way Neumeyer describes brands is probably one of the most poetic and forgiving of the place that products now have in our lives. The mammalian part of our brain is indeed the part of the brain that makes us want to be part of a tribe. And I do think that we buy brands that make us feel part of that tribe in order to be able to participate in that tribe. But I think it goes deeper than that. We're buying brands and products

• 16:47Debbie Millman?

  to be part of a tribe because now, in a day and age and culture and world we are living in, we are otherwise tribeless. We feel tribeless and disconnected because despite our technological connectedness, we are emotionally and physically further away from our friends and family than ever before in human history. We've now replaced our closeness with people with closeness with brands that, at best, can only represent that we are close to others. Pattern Recognition is a novel written in 2002, before Facebook and YouTube had launched, but somehow predicted the creation of both. The Brand Gap was written in 2005, but it is one of the first books to present a unified theory of brand building. Individually, they're both great books, but together they provide a unique perspective

• 17:31Debbie Millman?

  that the power of brands have in our lives. Building Stories by Chris Ware. Chris Ware's Building Stories, published in 2012, is so much more than a book. It is 14 individual experiences, full of ennui, heartbreak, joy, and elation, humans living their lives stacked in a box, 14 interlocking stories of the residents of a Chicago apartment building. The 14 pieces in Building Stories include a game board, a newspaper, two hardcover books, and various ephemera filled with lonely, frustrated people aching for connection. There's the one-legged 30-something woman who is also the central character, living on the top floor, frustrated with her husband gaining weight and wondering what happened to her dreams.

• 18:15Debbie Millman?

  There's the lonely old landlady living on the ground floor, a couple living in the middle floor with relationship problems, and Branford, the best bee in the world, who is truly a thinking bee. The design is not limited to the story or the presentation of the book. It is central to the narrative. Building Stories is remarkable and sets the stage for an entirely new way of storytelling. My last book is the book Hunger by Roxane Gay. When I first read Roxane Gay's 2017 New York Times bestselling book Hunger, A Memoir of My Body, I thought I was reading my own diary. Her words hit me like few other books have. I felt simultaneously seen, understood, and heard, all this from a book.

• 18:57Debbie Millman?

  Lines like, "I'm full of longing and I am full of envy and so much of my envy is terrible," just pierced my heart. Mine was too. Then came this statement, "I was a gaping wound of need." I couldn't admit this to myself, but there was a pattern of intense emotional masochism of throwing myself into the most dramatic relationships possible, of needing to be a victim of some kind over and over and over. That was something familiar, something I understood. Man, oh, man, that I understand that. I understood it until, after a lot of therapy, I didn't understand it anymore. And then, in an aberrant moment of courage, I asked Roxanne to be a guest on my podcast. She said yes, then she said

• 19:38Debbie Millman?

  no. A year later, a generous friend put in a good word for me, and I took Roxanne Gay out on a proper date. Five months later, she was finally a guest on my podcast, and one year later, we got engaged. Sometimes books take you to very unexpected places that change your life in every imaginable and unimaginable way. Thanks for listening.

• 20:01Tim Ferriss?

  Hey, guys. This is Tim again. Just a few more things before you take off. Number one, this is Five Bullet Friday. Do you want to get a short email from me? Would you enjoy getting a short email from me every Friday that provides a little morsel of fun before the weekend? And Five Bullet Friday is a very short email where I share the coolest things I've found or that I've been pondering over the week. That could include favorite new albums that I've discovered. It could include gizmos and gadgets and all sorts of weird shit that I've somehow dug up in the world of the esoteric, as I do. It could include favorite articles that I've read and that I've shared with my close friends,

• 20:41Tim Ferriss?

  for instance. And it's very short. It's just a little tiny bite of goodness before you head off for the weekend. So if you want to receive that, check it out. Just go to fourhourworkweek.com. That's fourhourworkweek.com, all spelled out, and just drop in your email and you'll get the very next one. And if you sign up, I hope you enjoy it.