George Lopez and the Mamón

Comedy legend George Lopez returns to the TigerBelly studio. Ernie meets Ernie. We talk Zaddies, tontós, Comedy Store lore, fat-boy tears, caboose philosophy, and that one time George met Santana. PRE-ORDER Special 500th Merch HERE https://www.sleptkingdom.com Download the app and sign up with code TIGERBELLY. Take the featured slot for a spin, and explore thousands of others in the DraftKings game library. Go to www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 0:59Bobby Lee?

  George dresses good. He dresses good. He dresses good.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 1:05Bobby Lee?

  He dresses good for me. Put on your ear cans, guys.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  The thing is, you don't want to, you don't want to be fucking old and then, like, everybody can tell you're trying to be young except you.

• 1:19Bobby Lee?

  I know. I'm going through the same thing, but there's a new word for it.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 1:23Bobby Lee?

  You know what you and I are, bro? Check it out. It's a good one, dude. We're zaddies. Oh. Dude, bro, the way you said that was disgusting. George, you and I are fucking zaddies now, dog.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Isn't that that fucking place that ships shoes like all the time?

• 1:40Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Fucking zaddies.

• 1:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are two things, but yeah, we are. You know what a zaddie means?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  That somebody wants to fuck an old man, you know? You become like a fetish when you get old enough. You become like a, you become an old man.

• 1:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  This girl said, you know, "I met you a long time ago, but, you know, now, I think I want to fuck you like in a grandfather way."

• 2:02Bobby Lee?

  Is that good or bad? Did that feel good?

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Fucking get out of the yard. Get out of the yard! Fucking coming. You fucking cunts. Did that, did that hurt your feelings? Yeah. Yeah. It did, it did. And then, you know, you know, there's first of all, there's more people than when I was growing up, you know, uh, there's more people. And. On planet Earth? Yeah. Or we're in LA, East LA. But also, but also, like, when we went to school in the seventies, if you look at those movies, there's maybe like three good looking girls. All the movies that have like, from back then. Right. There's like three hot chicks. Yes. And now, they're fucking everywhere. I know, there's a lot. There's a lot, there's, there's more, there's more. There's more.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Then, you know, and then, you know, you're out of the league. It's almost like, you know, like if they said, you know, if Will Chamberlain had played right now, he'd score, you know, fucking whatever, but. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's, it's tough to find somebody to. I, I know. I was at dinner and then the waitress said, uh, your daughter wanted to see the dessert menu. I hope it's all right.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  I said, I fucking can't, I usually don't give her sugar this late, but I'll see if she's all right. Yeah. But like that, like, you know, people just, well, this is assumed, but also, but also, you know, I think, I think the atmosphere puts, or the universe puts things in front of you, whether you see them or not. Oh. Like I was on a flight going from Burbank United, like the express or whatever, and then, and then a guy got on with a young chick, hot, he was older, had kinda crazy hair. Yeah. Kinda had nice jeans, nice shoes. I said. Like you. Like me. Yeah. And then they started making out and I was looking at him and I was like, wow, fuck. And I looked at, you know, Brian Kelly, I said, hey man, do I look like that?

• 3:43Speaker 02

  He goes, no, not at all. And, and since then, I probably haven't gone out much. Yeah. And also the first time that some lady said, I have my grandkids and you're like, fuck, how old am I?

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Fuck. I know. You know, you know, remember the comedian John Fox? Oh, yeah. John Fox was like a, a legend, man, you know, and, and I called him up and he, and he's like, uh, cause they had a, I had a private gig for him that I didn't want to do because it was more required like somebody like him. And he says, uh. White, white? And, and like edgier. Oh, edgier, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was in a hotel suite. I was like, man, I kinda don't do that shit. Yeah, yeah. So I called him up and he says, I had this waitress over from the club last night, I was, I was fucking her dog, Stu, I couldn't come, so I spit on her back.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  And then, and then he forgot that there was a mirror right there and she was looking back, what the fuck are you doing? Really? Spitting on her back like, I'm coming.

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  And she could see him.

• 4:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  So he told me that. And then he told me no.

• 4:38Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  I got that story, so.

• 4:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Do you fake orgasm ever or no?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  No, I can't get.

• 4:44Bobby Lee?

  Couple times.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Listen, you gotta get hard enough to fake.

• 4:47Bobby Lee?

  Right. Well, we have something for you. We have, uh, what, BlueChew? BlueChew.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Hey, does BlueChew? Is that, that's not over the counter, is it?

• 4:54Bobby Lee?

  It is. No, it's, you have to, um, get a prescription. But we have some if you.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  You know, when, when, in my day, if you wanted to get hard, you took a nap during the day. And you were hard at night.

• 5:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Or, or also, you know, when you go through, when you're married and, and, you know, sex, because one of the things that leaves after a certain point, with, with, with a lot of people. And then, you know, you go to therapy, couples therapy, and they say, you know, why don't you guys try to arrange a night where every, every week, every night, it's, it's, you're gonna, you're gonna have sex, you fucking make love. So it became a Wednesday.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  Ah.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  And then you're like, fuck, already?

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really? Wednesday already? Oh, right, right. You don't do want to, what you're saying to me right now, wise Mr. Lopez, my master. What you're saying, cause I'm learning so much from you today.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 5:40Bobby Lee?

  All right? Is, is that we don't want to do it as much.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  We don't want to do it as much.

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  So then my wife would get mad and, and, and it's like, you always have an excuse, it's been three weeks now. And then she said to me one time when I was leaving, "Don't jack off."

• 5:54Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  And I said, hey, don't tell me what not to do.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  So it's like, it's, all of those things go into, and also I'll give you some advice that.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  Please, master.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  That a, that a musician told me, after when I got married, he said to me.

• 6:06Bobby Lee?

  You can't tell me what musician?

• 6:08Speaker 02

  He was a guy in this band, Santa Esmeralda.

• 6:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yes.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  They, they had, uh, don't let me be misunderstood.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  So he said to me, "Just make sure that your dick gets as hard for home games as it does for road games."

• 6:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow. I don't even understand what that means. You break it down, master. I don't know what that means. Yeah, well, let, let, let, let's hear the table. Go, Andrew, tell me what, what you think that night means.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  I, I, I su, I mean, I assume this guy's fucking a lot and that there's, there's the home game. And then there's.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  You get.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  And then your away game is the new team that you're playing.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  But also, yes. And also sometimes you can get hard at home, but you don't have a problem getting hard on the road.

• 6:52Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  It becomes a thing.

• 6:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. It's like Arsenal FC. We do really good away games. Home game superstar. Yeah, we went to the Bernabeu. Oh, my God, we did it.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Oh, this guy is guy.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  It was Leroy Gomez that told me.

• 7:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Did you, because you.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, go ahead, sorry.

• 7:08Bobby Lee?

  You were big earlier than I was, right? Way early. I'm not that I'm big. Can we give a proper intro? What? A proper intro. Oh.

• 7:41Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, this is how we do it. So anyway, we have this piece of shit here.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  How do you guys, are you, are you like?

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Piece of shit?

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, like, like where you live, you're all dirty and everything, cochino smell. No, you're clean.

• 7:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Not anymore.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  I'm on the hills now.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  This is a kid from Texas. We fly out to do this. And then he's a comic. And then we have Andrew Lopez. He's on his rise up. He's a series regular. And how many shows are you on?

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm a recurring on two.

• 8:12Bobby Lee?

  Not series regular?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  On the rise, on the rise.

• 8:14Bobby Lee?

  You're on the rise, you're on the rise.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's good. What shows are those?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Uh, The Bear and Platonic with Seth Rogen.

• 8:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Okay, those are good shows.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Those are good, very good shows. Yeah, yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 8:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and he's getting fat, and I love it.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  I, yeah, yeah. Me and Bobby switch places.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Like, I.

• 8:29Bobby Lee?

  But girls like you, and it drives me crazy.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just gotta be nice.

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  I know one girl that's like, I can't, I can't get enough Andrew Lopez.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  And she like dreams of you.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  I appreciate it.

• 8:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  And what's that like? Because, you know, that's kind of maybe new to you, maybe?

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Well, you know, to me.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 8:46Bobby Lee?

  The TV helped. The TV helped.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  You know, it feels a lot like, you know how you were talking about home games and away games?

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  I feel like I'm still scrimmaging a lot.

• 8:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, alright.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm still doing a lot of jump balls.

• 8:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  You know, when I was on the road, I was making out with this waitress, and she said.

• 9:03Bobby Lee?

  How long ago? We have to know.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  That was fucking third, 25, 30 years ago.

• 9:05Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  She said, I'm so horny, I'm gonna go home and masturbate. I said, well, I could fuck you. She goes, no, I'd rather go home and masturbate.

• 9:12Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  I go with what? Because it does, I don't know, with whatever.

• 9:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Then, then you prefer that to me?

• 9:18Bobby Lee?

  Did you ever hook up with anyone like a waitress at a club before? Yeah. Okay, so there was this waitress at the Addison Improv, right? I had sex with her and then I found out that she had sex with a bunch of people, right? Yeah. And then years later, came up to me and goes, "I've been fucking this waitress in Dallas." And I go, "Oh, cool." And he goes, "He listed all the comics she had sex with, but I wasn't on the list." Oh.

• 9:42Speaker 04

  Oh, you're not on the resume.

• 9:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so she denied, she's denying that she had penetration with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Question part two.

• 9:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love question part two. When you, when you did have sex with her, did you feel like you deserved to be on that list? Or did you?

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Did you perform?

• 10:00Bobby Lee?

  How did you? Well, first of all, I didn't know about the list. I thought I was the new guy. I was like, "Oh, yeah, I love."

• 10:07Speaker 04

  A new car.

• 10:07Bobby Lee?

  A new car, right? I really thought I was like, "Oh, shit, I'm breaking down this berry." Did she act like you were a new car? Yeah, she made me feel like, "I don't normally do this." And then a couple of days later, I find out she's done everybody, you know what I mean? And then, then years later, I found out that I was not even in love even a car that they sold. You know what I mean? Denied, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, we, yeah, we don't have a fucking, you know?

• 10:28Speaker 04

  We don't have Corollas here.

• 10:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Corollas here, yeah. But why, but why would she do that? I mean, you know, it's the Addison Improv. It's not. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know. That hotel behind the Addison, do you ever stay in? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the worst, I'll tell you the most gloomiest hotel is at the Sacramento Punch Line. At the Residence Inn. Oh, yeah. It's so sad. Oh, that club, I love that club. You crush in that club. But it's just, there's a mattress store next to the club. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Sleep Train? The Sleep Train. In the, in the, in the actual thing, but that place has been a long time. So I think that maybe the Residence Inn has dwindled because it's been there for a long, long time. But the club is great. Yeah.

• 11:11Bobby Lee?

  I mean, some clubs have to like have hotels for, you know, the regular comics. And have a hotel, a special hotel for people that are selling out, don't you think? Right. Yeah. Yes, I do. But sometimes they put you in the same hotels? You just make, make sure you, you know, when you're selling out, to tell them you prefer to stay here. Oh, you can ask? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Just tell them. I should ask. Yeah. I'd like to introduce you too, Georgia, because I didn't yet. You know, he's a sitcom star. He's been in two where you're the lead of a sitcom. The current one is called Lopez versus Lopez.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  And you have my friend, my nerdy friend, Al Madrigal.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Anxiety Al.

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Anxiety Al, right? And congratulations, bro. I mean, to do it twice.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  And to bring my daughter along the second time.

• 11:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she on the show?

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, my real daughter.

• 12:00Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  That's pretty good, huh?

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What is it like working with her?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  It's great. No, she's good. She worked hard. It's always funny, you know?

• 12:07Bobby Lee?

  That's not it.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  A little bit of her mom. That's the first one, yeah.

• 12:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  That one's still very popular, you know?

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a classic.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  I've been waking kids up at three o'clock in the morning for 25 years.

• 12:17Bobby Lee?

  I'm one of them.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  You know what's great about you and your daughter doing it too is that you, how much you guys challenge each other to be better and you see it bleed out.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Oh, man, thank you.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank you.

• 12:26Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, Andrew?

• 12:27Speaker 02

  I appreciate that.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  It's like, cause I mean, I mean, we have a legend next to us who's been doing it for so long and then to be able to bring your family who's also funny.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  And then to put him in like the NBA basically right away.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  It's so sick.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Bronny, that's Bronny.

• 12:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Bronny. Why does Al get a smaller box?

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:44Bobby Lee?

  I wonder.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  What's he looking at?

• 12:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  You're the dog's bigger than Al. If you're gonna break it down, the dog's bigger than Al.

• 12:50Bobby Lee?

  Look at that. Zoom in so close. He's looking at his agent from C A going, this is it?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  But you know.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  How small the box is.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  But if you know Al, that motherfucker's hardly ever like that.

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know. That's right, that's right. He's.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  You never see him like that?

• 13:04Bobby Lee?

  Never, dude. The first time I met him, George, I'm gonna say, I was on Mad TV and I was in the lot and I see a man crying by his car. True story, he'll admit it. What? Right? And I look and it's Al, but I didn't know him.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:17Bobby Lee?

  And I walk right up to him. Are you all right, man? He goes, my show just got canceled. And I go, okay. And he was putting his, like, you know, the parking lot, parking name.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:25Bobby Lee?

  Into his car, right? And I gave him a hug.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  And he's been crying since then.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  I think so. He's afraid to stop because he's doing so well.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's a crybaby, but he's what a funny guy.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  No, he says, he says his wife's full name every time he talks about her.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, she's great.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  He doesn't say Christian, you say Christian Madrigal.

• 13:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and she's half Korean.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  She's great, half Korean, yeah.

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. They've made me dinner before, you know, um, and then how's, what is it like being on a show now versus the first show?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Oh, man, it's all about, it's all about money, man. It's all about, you know, how, how, how much cheaper can we do the show for? I think, I think it's, we were going through that right now, and, and I think it's just, man, it's heartbreaking, you know, because, uh, the first show I did in 2002, 2001, the president of ABC was Stu Bloomberg, and at that time, you know, Roseanne, Grace Under Fire, Drew Carey, Tim Allen, and it was about talent. That was the last, and that was the last TV president, I believe, that was about the talent first, and then now it's all about money, man.

• 14:27Bobby Lee?

  All right, numbers, money, all that stuff, yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  And how much can we save, and, and how can you do the show and keep it as good as it is, but do it for less?

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  It's like, man, is that what it's gonna come down to? I think if they decide to pick up a show or not, it comes down to how cheap can you do it, not about, you know, the quality of the show.

• 14:44Bobby Lee?

  Well, George, it could be the last of its kind. You could be on the last three camera sitcom of, you know what I mean? Because it's like, I can't even tell you what else is on.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Well, you know what, they, they go through, they go through kind of, uh, waves, though, where, where multi cam is all right, and then, you know, like just the whole reality TV thing.

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Then the, the, you know, then shows about, you know, like, Must've Married a Millionaire, or that stuff kind of goes away. And then things come back and leave and come back.

• 15:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  I hope that is, you know, I hope it stays.

• 15:16Bobby Lee?

  But do you like the internet? Because it's, I think that carved into television and film, you know what I mean?

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Well, you know, if more people are working, then I would say, I would say, yeah, it's good, it's good. That's just part of the, it's like being in the jungle, man. It's like you're still trying to survive.

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it revived my thing because I was, I couldn't get a job. I was on two series regulars, they got cancelled right away. I, I think splitting up together lasted a couple, a year and a half, whatever, two seasons, yeah. But it's like, I was like, what the fuck else do I, am I gonna do? And this saved me almost, you know what I mean?

• 15:48Speaker 02

  But also, you know, like, there's an element of, like, his shows are great. So there's an element of not knowing what anything is gonna be when-

• 15:56Bobby Lee?

  The Bear is a great show.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  The Bear is-

• 15:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  I mean, that dude, that dude, um, wins for best, like, comedy actor.

• 16:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  And everybody gets mad every year, like, the fucking Bear's not a comedy.

• 16:08Bobby Lee?

  I, I know.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Hacks, they're like, a hacks, they go crazy in the-

• 16:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  They're like, no, I mean, so you-

• 16:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  It's just like, man, fucking, it's a great fucking show, be on for as long as they wanna do it.

• 16:20Bobby Lee?

  Do you have lines in it?

• 16:21Speaker 03

  In what?

• 16:22Bobby Lee?

  In The Bear.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:23Bobby Lee?

  A lot?

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Uh, and, and it's- Yeah, I mean, I, I don't wanna give any spoilers to the season, because it's like-

• 16:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the second season, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 05

  Fourth season.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Fourth season.

• 16:32Bobby Lee?

  Fourth, but they give you a couple lines.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they throw me some bones, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, you're a talented kid, I've always thought that.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  I appreciate, but going, but going back to what you're saying about the internet, and I, I actually agree with you that the full circle thing is coming back. And I think what you're saying about talent is really interesting, because you see that, um, there isn't talent that can lead a show and do the business part while still being funny. But once you find that-

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  You see it, the gates open up, and I think the internet is a good example of you, because you are talent, and the internet-

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, thank you, wow, thank you.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  They weren't looking at you the right way, you know, and I think that, like, I think what George is saying is very interesting, there's gonna be someone that shows up that is gonna, like, re-change sitcoms for young people.

• 17:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  And it, it all, and just like you did when you did it on your first show.

• 17:18Bobby Lee?

  His name is Matt Rife.

• 17:22Speaker 05

  Messiah.

• 17:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is funny, because I, I'm getting a lot of work now, because of this. I kinda reminded people that, you know what I mean, that I've got-

• 17:30Speaker 05

  You're still here.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  No, I-

• 17:31Bobby Lee?

  Excuse me?

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, people, you know, they know you, man, but if you, but if you're, what do you say?

• 17:35Speaker 05

  Uh, that you remind people that you're still here. Like, hey, I'm still here, Bobby Lee. Vice versa, you know? You're too George.

• 17:42Bobby Lee?

  What's vice, what's vice versa, man?

• 17:44Speaker 05

  Like, what did you say, the internet?

• 17:48Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 17:49Speaker 05

  I'm still looking for work.

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  Let's hear it out, let's hear it out. Yeah, yeah, let's, I wanna, I have a thought. Give me your thought. Well, I just gave you my thought. Okay, alright. I, I wanna say what he said is genius, and I think I agree with him. You really gonna agree with that? Yeah, I totally agree with him. Because, you know, Hispanic people are very bright. I agree, that's what I'm saying, I see it. But there are some that are, eh eh, you know what I mean?

• 18:09Speaker 02

  There's some fucking tontos in there.

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  Did you see Tonto? Did you see Tonto? Dude, you're a tonto dude, for sure you're a tonto, you have to admit you're a tonto.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  And they leave you behind, and they leave you behind, you're like, I've been telling you guys were going. That's why you're the fucking tonto, they keep leaving you behind, you're the fucking tonto. Even to church, nobody wants to take them to church.

• 18:28Bobby Lee?

  Every train has a caboose. Every, right, have you heard that saying?

• 18:33Speaker 02

  It's still on, it's still on the train.

• 18:35Bobby Lee?

  You're still on the train, you're still going, but you're last. Okay, yeah, and always remember that. What?

• 18:42Speaker 02

  People, people see, people see him and they're like, hey man.

• 18:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  They see you.

• 18:46Bobby Lee?

  They see, yeah.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  And vice versa, some don't.

• 18:50Bobby Lee?

  Like, even if I saw you, they would like, ah, leave him be.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Porcito.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's move on. Well, that's put a damper in them. A little too topical, okay. They call him, uh, Mandalone sometimes.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 19:05Bobby Lee?

  Ooh. Uh, Mandalorian, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am fucking, but, but.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Mandalone is like, like a mammon?

• 19:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:11Bobby Lee?

  What is a mammon? You just.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  It's like a fucking kiss ass, suck up.

• 19:17Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait. Wait, George, that's what the fuck?

• 19:19Speaker 02

  That word, yeah.

• 19:20Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  You think I'm a?

• 19:22Bobby Lee?

  You were right the first time.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Like a mammon, yeah.

• 19:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, come, come, okay.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, like a kiss ass or something.

• 19:28Bobby Lee?

  Bubble fat. Yeah, yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:29Bobby Lee?

  You think I'm a kiss ass, be on real? No. Okay, good.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  No, he's not, no.

• 19:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  It's in the general description.

• 19:35Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's give George a round of applause. I didn't get that part, did we do that part yet? No, yeah, yeah, George Lopez is there, we did, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, um.

• 19:49Bobby Lee?

  DraftKings Casino. DraftKings Casino. You guys, spring is in full bloom on DraftKings Casino. You guys, I'll be honest with you, I love DraftKings because it's just so fun to play during the week. Do you guys ever do that?

• 20:10Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:11Bobby Lee?

  Like, late at night, I'll just go, "I'm gonna play a little," you know what I mean?

• 20:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:13Bobby Lee?

  Or in the morning, sometimes when I have nothing to do, I want to play, I play a little. And then you can win stuff.

• 20:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:18Bobby Lee?

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• 20:31Speaker 04

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• 20:43Speaker 06

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• 21:15Bobby Lee?

  Helix sleep, guys. All right, Jaime, look at me right now.

• 21:23Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 21:24Bobby Lee?

  If you don't sleep on a Helix mattress, you're doing yourself a disservice.

• 21:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, what is that?

• 21:30Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'll tell you what it is, right? You'll get the, you're missing out on the best night sleeps that you could ever have. I believe it's the best mattress I've ever had in any of my, in any of my beds.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 21:42Bobby Lee?

  Right? I have three rooms, three Helix sleeps, okay? All you have to do is fill out a quiz, right? And they can match you with the right mattress, okay? It is, um, I don't want to compare it to other brands, but it's number one for me. And if they, yeah, I mean, that's just my future bed.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  Sounds like I need it, because right now, I'm sleeping on a plywood with a bunch of nails.

• 22:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you are?

• 22:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's why my back hurts.

• 22:08Bobby Lee?

  Like Jesus did.

• 22:11Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I had night sweats and back pain and day sweats.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 22:15Bobby Lee?

  Right? And when you have the combination of two, three can go wrong.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  But you stopped having them because?

• 22:21Bobby Lee?

  Helix mattresses, okay? I'm telling you, everyone listening to me right now, you gotta get one, okay? I promise you.

• 22:27Speaker 04

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• 22:54Bobby Lee?

  Belly.

• 23:00Bobby Lee?

  So, um.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  So, so, and yet, and yes, you know, and then, but you never know the roll of the dice, you know?

• 23:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  And, and, and back in the day, you, you look at somebody like, um, Roseanne.

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Like, I was at the Comedy Store on the Monday night before Roseanne did The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson on the Wednesday.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  So then, so then, the guy comes up and goes, "We have somebody that's here that's doing The Tonight Show Wednesday." Roseanne Barr. She goes up there, and maybe for the first 20 seconds, maybe it was quiet, and then she fucking destroyed.

• 23:31Bobby Lee?

  Destroyed.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Destroyed that room.

• 23:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Then I said, "I'm gonna watch, uh, on Wednesday," and she, and she kicked ass and, and it go like that.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  And, and, you know, then you look at, then she became difficult, you know, in whatever way, but, you know, you become too difficult. And look at the show went on without her.

• 23:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  You wanna make sure that you don't destroy yourself in a, in a situation that very few people get to, get to actually see or live or drive on a lot or anything like that. And, and you look at somebody like Brett Butler, when she was doing Grace Under Fire, and that show was doing well, but then she tried to follow like in the Roseanne thing, "I don't like this, I don't like that."

• 24:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  And they canceled her show.

• 24:08Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  And she kinda fell off.

• 24:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you have to be nice.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:11Bobby Lee?

  You have to be nice.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Or at least be respectful of the, of the process.

• 24:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  Because there is a process. I mean, if you don't, if you don't like it, the guys told, they told me when I was starting, man, like, "Don't leave the room." "Don't, you know, give ultimatums. Hang in there." Like, if you leave, the game's over. But if you stay in, there, there's, there's, you can change things.

• 24:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  And, you know, some people get mad, they take, "Oh, fuck this shit."

• 24:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  And you leave, you're out.

• 24:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  So, that, that's, uh, you know, never leave.

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  You know, I, I, you know, people talk shit about Roseanne, but I wanna say something about her. She fucking helped me so much at one point.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:44Bobby Lee?

  I was on a sitcom that's splitting up together, right? And I was at like a, it was Upfronts or something like that, right? And I was like, sitting there with a bunch of ABC execu- was it ABC?

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, executives and stuff, and no one was talking to me. It was the same year that Roseanne got Connors.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:01Bobby Lee?

  Before she got canceled.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:03Bobby Lee?

  Right? And she walks into this room, and she points at me and she goes, "That motherfucker right there is funny." And then she started repeating jokes that she'd seen me do.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:13Bobby Lee?

  Right? And then all of a sudden, all the executives opened up to me and started talking to me. Because I was so self-conscious and I was so nervous. She, I had never met her before, dude.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:24Bobby Lee?

  She did that for me.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so it's just like, um, she's a legend, you know what I mean?

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also, you know, she has, you know, things that people don't like about her.

• 25:31Bobby Lee?

  Sure.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  Whatever, but, but she's, she's always been funny. However, your views become political or against other people, it's like.

• 25:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Those are her views, so however, I'm sure she's happy with the things that, where she is and all that stuff, but.

• 25:43Bobby Lee?

  I don't know about that, but. Yeah, yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  She is, she is a legend, and, um, but, uh, I mean, I hope, you know, I mean, it continues forever, but.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Can I ask you guys a question, too? That's seen so many versions of like what comedy's become. Like, you see sitcoms, and I feel like there's this romantic part in my brain as a young comic, that looks like it's the best version of mixing our live act.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  With storytelling.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  And do you guys find that if sitcoms goes away, there's another version of that, or is that kind of the only world where you can do both? Because they are different things, but it's the closest thing we have to stand up that's storytelling.

• 26:19Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, man, that's a fucking good question.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  I don't think they'll ever go away, I think that.

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  You will, okay.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  They'll always be around.

• 26:24Bobby Lee?

  Okay, wow, good.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Because those pieces, you know, those half-hour pieces work together. Like, you know, I did, Reba McEntire did her show, and then we came after, so you, you have two multis. And then you have, uh, St. Dennis, which was a new show, and then you have Night Court, and that's single cameras.

• 26:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  So it's hard to put a single and a, and a, and a multi in the same hour.

• 26:42Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, wow.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  So they'll always need, almost like, pieces of a puzzle to go together.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do you think you'll see yourself producing for Young Comics once you're, you're?

• 26:50Bobby Lee?

  You're doing like.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 26:52Bobby Lee?

  I feel like Larry King right now. I love it.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  I just, I'm so fascinated by your show.

• 26:57Bobby Lee?

  You gonna do a pitch now asshole?

• 27:00Speaker 03

  This is what I'm trying to sell is that the thing that you guys are giving us.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing?

• 27:03Speaker 03

  Because this is like fascinating.

• 27:05Bobby Lee?

  Wait, this is the Andrew Lopez I've ever heard about. That you can go to a party and come away with a deal.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  Vice versa, baby.

• 27:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that about you. You know what? You're a cockroach.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  You know what? You know what? What was the word for kiss ass?

• 27:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, mandelon? Yeah, you're a mandelon for sure.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Which camera's on?

• 27:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm not! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  No, I just, I just, I just, because I don't want to see it go away because I think that that like, that's all, and what you're saying is fascinating to me.

• 27:31Bobby Lee?

  But, because I had a deal at NBC, right, for four years.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Still, right?

• 27:35Bobby Lee?

  No, it's gone now. Because it came down to me and Tina Fey's pilot and they, they wanted hers, right? And so, I mean, they let mine go, but it's, I think it's harder to get a pilot, I think. Do you think or no? You don't make as, because back in the day. No, we didn't, but we were, we had, we had, you know, the pilot done and other three or four other episodes written. And they were dragging us along and then, you know, two weeks ago, three weeks ago, they said it's gone, done, but it's like, um, they used to do thirty, you know, I mean, pilots or twenty pilots back in the day, now they do three.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Man, that's, that's just like a drip of a faucet, man, like, you know, three.

• 28:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Uh, so, yeah, in regards to that, like, you can come so close to it, but also would they keep it and have it in the rotation for another time?

• 28:24Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  You know?

• 28:25Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  That, that if Tina Fey's show doesn't work out or, you know?

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  There, there is no beginning and end of the seasons like there was, you know, you, somebody will start mid-season and March before it used to be January, you started in September, October now.

• 28:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  So, so there's really no calendar of when to premiere, premiere at whatever time.

• 28:46Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I have a personal question to ask you and, um,

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:51Bobby Lee?

  What happened?

• 28:52Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 28:52Bobby Lee?

  No, but so I heard a story that, and this could be wrong. When you showcase for Mitzi, that you, that it didn't, I mean, did you ever showcase for Mitzi?

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, did it go well?

• 29:04Speaker 02

  I thought so, but she didn't think it went well.

• 29:07Bobby Lee?

  And so you were never passed at the store?

• 29:10Speaker 02

  I was never passed at the store.

• 29:11Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  And that's where I started.

• 29:14Bobby Lee?

  Huh.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  That's where I started.

• 29:15Bobby Lee?

  That's incredible.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  You know what she said to me? I went to the Comedy Store with my friend Ernie and I did pretty good, man. And I think they turned the light on, the piano, and they, and the people said to turn the light off to like, let me keep going.

• 29:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  And the guy, the piano player, like, keep going. So then I go over there to her and she says to me, where, where are you from?

• 29:43Speaker 02

  I'm from Mission Hills.

• 29:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Nah, well, why don't you try working the clubs there for a couple of years and come back? And I was like, fuck.

• 29:53Bobby Lee?

  She did that to Louis CK?

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah. It's, I think this is the time period where she wasn't fully, maybe she was losing.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 30:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay, she was, she was. Very present. She was full.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  I'll tell you, I'll tell you a time, I'll tell you a true story. I'll tell you a time at Richard Pryor's funeral. Did you ever know David Banks?

• 30:14Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  David Banks was like, as funny as Richard Pryor, he was a writer and he always wore this brown suit. I think Paul Mooney, David Banks, Richard Pryor.

• 30:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  All those guys, high level guys, like Banks was funny, like from the street, like always had a creative thought and was just fucking brilliant.

• 30:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  So all of us guys respected, you know, Mooney and David Banks, if you got close enough in the circle, and then of course Pryor. So at Richard Pryor's funeral, David Banks and I are standing in the aisle and down comes Mitzi Shore, she's probably like this big.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  And she's all in black. Bent over and her hair's hanging down.

• 30:49Bobby Lee?

  And scarves, fifteen scarves.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  A scarf.

• 30:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Walking really slow.

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  And when she passes David Banks, he touches her arm like this, her forearm, and he says to her, "Don't leave, you'll be back Wednesday."

• 31:01Speaker 02

  We were at Forest Lawn.

• 31:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, wow, wow.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  He said, "Don't leave, you'll be back Wednesday."

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  When Mitzi died, Peter gave me a scarf of hers. And he goes, "Mitzi wanted you to have this. She's never washed it." And I was like, "Ew."

• 31:13Speaker 03

  I was like, "Oh, thank, thank you."

• 31:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know where that scarf is.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  But, I mean, you know, it's...

• 31:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, so, uh, no, I don't think I was ever... And I, and I started there, man, like in nineteen seventy-nine, I was...

• 31:25Bobby Lee?

  Do you have a resentment?

• 31:26Speaker 02

  No, but I don't go to the Comedy Store now, you know, they'll call me and they'll say, "Hey, would you do a set?" And I was like, "I don't, I don't go."

• 31:32Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 31:32Speaker 02

  I don't have resentment, but I just don't go. I, I really don't kind of do sets in time.

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know. Um, okay, but that, that's a shame, because, I mean, we would just love to have your, your grace.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  But I think if you've been doing it for forty-five years, going out for twenty minutes is not gonna improve you or...

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Dude, can I, can I tell you, can I, can I share a story when I first met you?

• 31:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Okay, I went into your show...

• 31:53Speaker 02

  What, do you remember him? No, I don't.

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good, good, continue, I love that.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  I was skinnier back then.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  If you tell me, I might, if you...

• 32:01Speaker 03

  I, I went to your show, at the time, we had the same agent, and he, I was a huge fan of you, and I...

• 32:06Bobby Lee?

  What agency was it?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Uh, it was, uh, uh, Three Letters.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  UTA?

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  And then, um, and, uh, I'm no longer there. I love everybody.

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  Where are you at?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm at CAA.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, with, with me, yeah, yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Three Letters.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  You have Smoak?

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, baby.

• 32:21Bobby Lee?

  Huh? Smoak? I love Smoak.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Smoak, Smoak's the best.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Is that you, is that you have Smoak?

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  He's great.

• 32:26Bobby Lee?

  Hey, buddy, your script's bad, buddy.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Um, but I, I, I've never, me and my friends came to see you backstage, because I was such a huge fan and we were, we loved you. So they hooked us up to, Nussefaro hooked us up to meet you.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  At the Orpheum?

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Um, no, this is Nokia at the time. Now it's, uh, what's it called, whatever, Peacock, but like, um, we asked you, we're like, "Can you give us advice that will change the way we do stand-up?" And it did, it changed all three of our ways of doing stand-up, and you go, "None of those written motherfuckers ever make it." And you said, "Come from the soul."

• 32:55Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  And talk on stage, like, your written joke is your starting point.

• 33:00Bobby Lee?

  Ooh, ooh, ooh.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  And learn your shit on stage.

• 33:02Bobby Lee?

  You know what I tell young people?

• 33:03Speaker 02

  Oh, fucking shit.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, so thank you.

• 33:05Bobby Lee?

  Incredible.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  We, we take...

• 33:06Speaker 02

  I'll take that advice.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  George Lopez, everybody, George Lopez.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  I'm like looking at you, giving it to me, I'm like shit, I'm gonna take my own.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  But we, sometimes we text each other, we go, none of those written motherfuckers ever make it.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Man.

• 33:18Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, I have something that I say to people.

• 33:22Speaker 05

  Hey, it better be better.

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty good, dude, I don't know, I'm dreading even saying it now, dude. Yeah, yeah. West City young people go, there's a difference between writing funny and being funny.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that too.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean, so it's like, I go, try to get a little laugh without even saying anything.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  So you can get in that kind of, you know what I mean? With a look, or, or something, right?

• 33:41Speaker 02

  Yep, that too, that, that works too, so.

• 33:43Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, that works.

• 33:44Bobby Lee?

  Look at my mind! Look at my mind!

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Let me tell you this, let me tell you, let me tell you an example of, of that. So when we, when we were at ABC and we finally come down to the last two actors that are gonna play my best friend. The one guy was from New York, I wasn't really a big fan of his, and then it was the guy that got it, Valente, who was a little bit goofy looking, so.

• 34:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Um.

• 34:05Speaker 05

  My dad?

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Daddy! Your dad? So, so the first guy goes, he does it, he does it as written, like I would expect ABC to do it as written, it's okay.

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  And then Valente walks in, and he has his back turned, and the casting director says, uh, whenever you're ready. And he turns around, and he has like this goofy look on his face.

• 34:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  He's a goofy looking dude.

• 34:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  And everybody in there started laughing without him saying a word, and he's the one that got the.

• 34:32Bobby Lee?

  Of cour- of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Like, don't, you know, don't, don't rush a situation.

• 34:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  If it's a little bit, if it's a little bit tense like that was, the fact that he did this thing and turned around and had that goofy ass look on his face,

• 34:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  was, was fucking brill- a brilliant move.

• 34:45Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  He got it.

• 34:47Bobby Lee?

  Because you're, can I say something? Um, okay, well, I mean, I was saying something.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Yep, no, please.

• 34:50Speaker 05

  I know, but.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but go ahead.

• 34:51Speaker 05

  Before we change the topic.

• 34:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 34:52Speaker 05

  So, I'm from Texas, my name is Hyman, but, um.

• 34:57Speaker 05

  We are American Idol, this is?

• 34:59Speaker 02

  I'm, are you about to pitch something to him? And you do, you do stand up too?

• 35:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, I do stand up.

• 35:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, 10 minutes, it's good.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  Very fun.

• 35:05Bobby Lee?

  Strong 10.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 35:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:07Speaker 05

  Um, I was in like 6th grade, 6th grade, but everybody calls me Ernie.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, cuz of my show, I fucking hate it too, huh?

• 35:14Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  You like it?

• 35:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:16Bobby Lee?

  Wait, is that what you wanted to say? I don't understand what you were saying there.

• 35:20Speaker 05

  What? I say everybody call me Ernie, but my name is Jaime, just because I look like him.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  When I come back, we have to do a scene where you get the, he'll play the friend, get a scene from the show.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  And he'll do Ernie's lines.

• 35:31Bobby Lee?

  Wait, Ernie from, um, right there, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a similarity.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  There is a similarity.

• 35:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  I think, I mean, it could be his kid for sure.

• 35:42Bobby Lee?

  For sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  But a similarity.

• 35:44Bobby Lee?

  There is a similarity there. Wow. Yeah, you didn't like that?

• 35:47Speaker 05

  No, it's because I was like, I was a kid, so I was like, damn.

• 35:51Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 35:51Speaker 05

  I wanted to talk to girls.

• 35:52Bobby Lee?

  He's a TV star.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Well, I know, but then like, I want to talk to girls.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  But in Texas, it fucking doesn't matter, you look like somebody. Mexican.

• 35:58Speaker 05

  So like, all the way to high school, everybody say, you're Ernie, you're Ernie.

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, similar body, you know?

• 36:05Speaker 02

  So, in that, in that right there, in that, we made, we made him through the season, we made him get, we made him get heavy, right?

• 36:12Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  He was eating out of control, and I had a date with this, with this girl, and, and, and I went to the fucking Miller's outpost in Northridge, and this attractive like, sales lady was like, uh, I said, hey, can I get some thirty fours, you know, thirty six maybe?

• 36:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  And I was a fucking forty two.

• 36:30Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  And I didn't know, like, for, for whatever reason, I didn't see myself like that.

• 36:36Bobby Lee?

  You were getting fat.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  I was getting fat.

• 36:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  And, uh, that's what this whole arc was.

• 36:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  And, uh, that girl said, how do those pants fit? And I said, oh, you know, I didn't want to tell her.

• 36:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, so what'd you say?

• 36:49Speaker 02

  I started crying in the fucking change room.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  Oh, my god, dude. Damn.

• 36:54Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 36:54Speaker 02

  I think I was lactose.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Milk came out. I was, it, it, it's heartbreaking, man. I didn't, I didn't know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't see myself like that.

• 37:04Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, the reason why I got on Ozempic, we, I've said this before, but I was with a lady in Hawaii, somebody that already, already, you know what I mean? I already, you know what I mean? Well, in Korean, that's a thing. Jukjuk means sex.

• 37:18Speaker 05

  So, what is, you're doing double?

• 37:20Speaker 02

  The little nipples, twisting the nipples.

• 37:21Bobby Lee?

  I know, I don't know why I did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I go, jukjuk, right? And I go, um,

• 37:26Speaker 05

  Ju-seo.

• 37:27Bobby Lee?

  So I take her to Hawaii. What?

• 37:29Speaker 05

  Ju-seo.

• 37:30Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Oh, jukjuk ju-seo. That means, uh, sex, please. Give me sex.

• 37:36Speaker 05

  There you go.

• 37:36Bobby Lee?

  Very good, dude.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  I live in a Korean town.

• 37:40Bobby Lee?

  Did you live by Koreans or Taekwondo class? Well, how'd you learn that? Uh, I'm just watching Korean movies. Okay, okay, okay. Can I finish my story?

• 37:47Speaker 02

  That's how you learned it? Watching Korean movies?

• 37:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she was, I was fat, I didn't know. You guys never told me I was fat. Anyway, I was with this girl, we're in my hotel room.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  But did you guys think he was fat? Sorry. Did you guys think he was fat?

• 38:02Bobby Lee?

  Not like, yeah, you know, just like, normal. Normal fat? Yeah, normal fat. He's like crazy fat. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm not like Ralphie May fat. Yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 06

  I remember when you told Joe from JK News that he needed to get fat so he'd stay funny.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 38:15Speaker 06

  He was like, I'm gonna lose weight, and you were like, don't do that, you'll lose the...

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know what?

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Well, that too, I mean, that too in comedy, like, somebody could lose weight and then not lose their edge or lose the ability to be funny.

• 38:25Bobby Lee?

  Well, I know one guy too. Um, his name was Eric. He was in a bunch of movies. He lost like 300 pounds, and he never worked again. He was in huge movies.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  He was in The Equalizer? Is that that guy?

• 38:36Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, I love him. But no, um, he was in, um, the first Blade. Remember the Blob? Remember that Blob?

• 38:43Speaker 03

  He's so good in the Blob!

• 38:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was also in... But Jonah, what do you guys think about him? Yeah, but Jonah's fine. Yeah. He'll work. You know what I mean? He's a superstar.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  But Jonah's also all tatted up, like, it was a move, I wouldn't have seen, necessarily seen Jonah go that way.

• 38:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Like surfing and all tatted up, and, you know?

• 39:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  So, but he's, I mean, I've known him a long time, man.

• 39:03Bobby Lee?

  He's a great guy.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  Good guy.

• 39:04Bobby Lee?

  Um, can I finish my story?

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yes, please.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  Damn, man, what the fuck, man?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Sorry, man.

• 39:09Bobby Lee?

  So, um, I was in the hotel room, nice hotel, you know, I used to stay at the Ritz. Nice. Anyway, um...

• 39:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 39:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Where else are you gonna stay?

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  Uh, Four Seasons.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's good too. Yeah, yeah, thank you so much, George, I'm doing fine, you know? So we're kinda making out and stuff in my bed, and she stops and she goes, "Can I be honest with you?" And I go, "Yeah." "You're fucking fat."

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 39:31Bobby Lee?

  Right? And then she goes, "I'm not attracted to you." Damn. So I went out in the balcony, and I lit up a cigarette. I was like, "Should I jump?"

• 39:42Bobby Lee?

  But I decided to get on, you know what I mean, We Govee, which is what I'm on now, but um, it was a brutal fucking, you know. That's.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Has she seen you now?

• 39:51Bobby Lee?

  I don't care.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  That's what's up.

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  She's done.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  That's what's up, dog.

• 39:54Bobby Lee?

  She's never gonna be a part of my life.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 39:56Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I'm a catch, bro.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  You know, that's a crazy thing to say to somebody too.

• 39:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 40:00Bobby Lee?

  She was drunk.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Can I ask you a question though?

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  It is a crazy thing to say to someone, but it made you get your shit together.

• 40:09Bobby Lee?

  Just to lose some weight?

• 40:10Speaker 03

  You're the one talking about it. Yeah, you were telling the fucker.

• 40:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe do that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  And do you appreciate that or no?

• 40:18Bobby Lee?

  In a way I do, you know, but it's like, I feel like I'm cheating too a little bit though.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  But I think you won because you got to juke juke with her and you got skinny.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, before though.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Was she a comic too or?

• 40:27Bobby Lee?

  No, she was just a bartender, you know what I mean? Very hot though. Hispanic as well.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Did you, so wait, when?

• 40:34Bobby Lee?

  Did you?

• 40:35Speaker 02

  And you know, let me say this. When a Hispanic girl says, when a Hispanic girl says, "You're too fat, I'm not attracted to you." Because there's a lot of fat Mexicans.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  So whatever line you passed.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  When you overthrow the javelin and shit like, there's not even a number that, she went over the last line.

• 40:54Bobby Lee?

  That's why, that was a part of my equation.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:57Bobby Lee?

  You're Hispanic, you know what I mean? You know, and I know some Hispanic bros like this guy, you know what I mean? And so, um, that made me really kind of.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  It also made me realize it's like, I don't, I'm not doing this anymore. Like any of that. I'm gonna only, you know what I mean, I'm looking for something real, right? I, I'm not.

• 41:15Bobby Lee?

  I, I, you know, the hookup, the hooking up, it's just, it's just shallow and meaningless. And ultimately, bro, I just get depressed, bro, when there's no connection really. Okay.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  I, I think that that's, you know what, I would like to see that in you.

• 41:29Bobby Lee?

  What do you, what do you mean?

• 41:30Speaker 02

  I would like to see you look at somebody more serious than just hooking up.

• 41:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm hanging out with this one girl now and she's so pretty, but I go, um. And it was so hard for me to say the first date, I'll go. Yo, I, I, I just wanna start with a friendship and then we'll see what happens, you know what I mean? Because every time I hook up and this and that, it just ruins it. And so, you know, um, we're gonna go on a thing tonight, you know what I mean? I haven't made a move really, we've just been hanging out, it's been fun.

• 41:56Speaker 05

  No sex? That's good.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  I haven't made a move. No sex, question?

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  What do you think, when I said I-

• 42:02Speaker 02

  I thought maybe she was passed out.

• 42:05Bobby Lee?

  When I said I haven't made a move.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  No sex?

• 42:07Bobby Lee?

  What did that mean to you?

• 42:08Speaker 05

  Like, you haven't like, made the move, like, hey, come upstairs. So no sex, man, that's good.

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  Very good, yeah. But that was implied when I said I haven't made a move, no?

• 42:19Speaker 05

  Well, you should do the three month rule, you know, just wait three months and then have sex.

• 42:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 05

  For me, it's a year.

• 42:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we, tell us about the rule, we've never heard of that, have you heard of that rule, George?

• 42:28Speaker 02

  No, I've never heard of it.

• 42:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, tell me the rule.

• 42:30Speaker 05

  This is, this is what, three months?

• 42:32Speaker 04

  She had a calculator, calculator with this thing.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  Whatever, how many days?

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Like, orientation, ninety days, then we look at it again.

• 42:41Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever done, waited three months?

• 42:44Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm gonna tell you, I, I would fall into that thing as well, like, I, when I really liked somebody, I would tell them, if, if we hook up, I'm gonna lose interest.

• 42:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  And, uh, it just became a thing when you grow up, you have all these issues growing up and all stuff like that, so.

• 42:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  I would say, just people that I liked, I would say, I, I think it's just cool, like, we just hang out, and go to places and stuff like that, but that doesn't work either.

• 43:08Bobby Lee?

  I know. But I'll tell you- Yeah, yeah, you're right, it's not working.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Man, I'll tell you, uh, and when some, you know, when somebody, just recently, when somebody tells you they don't wanna be around you, or whatever, does, doesn't work out because you did something that offended them.

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Man, they lay into me like, I, I, just more than I think a civilian would get laid into, like, by, by a guy and a girl.

• 43:30Bobby Lee?

  Like, what do you mean? Because of your celebrity?

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 43:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  They just tee off on you more, and it's, and it's cuts deeper, and it's more personal. And you're like, wow, man, I mean, this is quite, quite shocking to, you know, to be honest. That, that could really lay into you with all the things that you carry in your life, that they seen because you've been, they've been around you, and they have no problem just like, just taking you down.

• 43:53Bobby Lee?

  Taking you down, wow, that must hurt, though.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And then you realize that's not the person either, like, eventually it was gonna, eventually it was gonna come down to that, so.

• 44:00Bobby Lee?

  But you also have to find somebody that's, um- That can acclimate themselves to your particular lifestyle. You mean, I'm no longer gonna date a girl like, you're gonna go up tonight? I thought, you know, I mean, let's just stay in. It's like, I gotta go up, that's my, how I make money.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:15Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? I'm going to work. You know what I mean? And it's like, some people don't understand that. Sometimes my spots are super late.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:22Bobby Lee?

  I come home at midnight, whatever, they're like, what the fuck is this? I'm already in bed. It's like, I have to have somebody that understands that this is what I do. And, and ultimately, I think, George, you might agree, that it's hard for a woman to share our career love. Because I love what I do for a living. And one of the, we're blessed.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:43Bobby Lee?

  Do you feel blessed? I mean, I feel so blessed.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, man, come on.

• 44:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, because I remember even one time, I don't know if I ever mentioned this to you. This is years ago. I was flying to Texas southwest, and you were on the flight.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I think I remember that.

• 44:59Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:00Bobby Lee?

  And my mind was like, oh, George Lopez flies southwest too. I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm doing okay.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, you felt bad because you flew southwest? No.

• 45:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  But I think you take things more, does he take things more personally, more literally than?

• 45:15Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Somebody like, if you saw somebody at your, you know, comic, and you're like, man, that guy's here too? Or you saw somebody at a restaurant or hotel, like you say, oh, I stay at the Ritz Carlton Four Seasons.

• 45:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right. Well, what happened, I did this thing called Oddball Comedy Festival. And so, all the comics flew on one flight. And all the comics got first class, and I didn't. Because of my agent. My manager did that, right? And so, when I was walking by, like, was Dane Cook, Sebastian Malaskaka, all these guys? They're throwing paper towels at me when I walk by. And then, when I was, when I was trying to fall asleep, they would literally come from first class and throw pillows at me, or like,

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:56Bobby Lee?

  Wake me up, you know what I mean? And I felt such shame. Because it's like, I was big enough to have first class. I don't know what the fuck, you know what I mean? But it's like, I took that personally. I don't, I don't, is that wrong of me to do that? No.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  Well.

• 46:07Bobby Lee?

  It's your manager's fault.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  But them going back to the throw shit at you, that's another, that's a different.

• 46:13Bobby Lee?

  That's, that's love.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  That's love.

• 46:14Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 46:17Bobby Lee?

  That was love, that was love.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, comics are so, you know, sensitive that somebody not flying first class, or not having somebody meet them when they land is a big thing.

• 46:28Bobby Lee?

  Do you just flip out if there wasn't one there?

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  I do too. I start calling people. Like, where's my guy?

• 46:37Speaker 02

  I look around and say, is there a flight going to LA that leaves like in half an hour?

• 46:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:42Bobby Lee?

  Here's another thing I hate, is when you do get a pickup guy, sometimes when they're at baggage claim, they have a sign.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  I love that. But sometimes they're like, "Yeah, man, where are you?" And I go, "What do you mean? I'll drive by, go to this point." I'm like, "You can't come in here, bitch."

• 46:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:00Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Now I have to look for you outside and all that stuff. Is that... Would you be mad?

• 47:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank God.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Then two people go, one meets you inside and then one's driving the car. Instead of just having one drive around trying to find you. One time.

• 47:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a greeter. Is that what you're saying?

• 47:18Speaker 02

  No. If that, if that person was driving, they'd take two people, so one goes in.

• 47:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  And finds you and then brings you out to the car.

• 47:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right. Yeah. Do you like that? Or no, you hate that?

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Well, not anymore, but I'm a greeter now.

• 47:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but it is, it is, um, those old road days though, man, were brutal.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Man.

• 47:36Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember them or no?

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, I did Arsenio one time and, you know, they, they'd bring, they'd send a limo, right?

• 47:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  And I assumed, they said, they knew I was traveling in the morning. So they said, "You can use the car in the morning. The car will pick you up." I said, "Oh, man, that's great. Limo picks you up, takes you to the airport." I land wherever I was. The guy was in a fucking Tercel. A Toyota Tercel.

• 47:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  And then you get in there, the guy goes, "Yeah, we're excited, man. Like, it's gonna be full tonight." Fucking Tercel, man. Fucking limo to a fucking Tercel.

• 48:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You know what made me feel, made me feel good? And I, I would, I don't know why I'm gonna even bring this up.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 48:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this, oh my God, imagine. Ninety-two. Jesus Christ. Ninety-two, bro. This is literally... Jeez.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  That's Fred Segal stuff there.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Thick pants. That's amazing. Look at you, dude. Handsome! Wow!

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Wow!

• 48:26Bobby Lee?

  Wow!

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Man!

• 48:27Bobby Lee?

  Still handsome. Still handsome. So two weeks ago, you were headlining, uh, you were doing a show at the Laugh Factory.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  My lesbian daughter?

• 48:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:36Bobby Lee?

  You were at the Laugh Factory and I showed up because I had to take a shit. You know what I mean? I wasn't performing.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Oh, so you stopped there?

• 48:41Bobby Lee?

  You know how sometimes you're driving down the street and I... Where's the closest place where I have to take a shit if I can't find that place? No bueno, no bueno, you know what I mean? So, I was about to shit my pants. So I pulled over to the Laugh Factory and I ran and I took a shit. And then Jamie Masada or somebody goes, "Oh, George and Arsenio are here." So I went up in that little private room, which I didn't even know about. There's a... Not just the green room, but there's an extra one? I've never even fucking been there. "Go through that secret door," or whatever. I walk in, so I walk in and you're sitting there on the couch. Arsenio's there and I sit across from you. Then Tony Hawk... Not Tony Hawk, Tony Rock.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Rock comes in.

• 49:17Bobby Lee?

  Tony Rock comes in, Jamie's there, and I'm gonna...

• 49:22Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to be a bitch, but it was one of those pinch yourself moments for me. Of like, I... And I was acting cool. Did I look good?

• 49:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 49:30Bobby Lee?

  I wasn't cool.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because when I'm...

• 49:32Speaker 05

  I was like...

• 49:34Speaker 02

  No, he was totally cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like that.

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to be cool. Breathing hard? But my insides were jumbled because I'm like... You know, I'm a huge friend of, you know, George, my most Arsenio friend of mine now, and he's super sweet. With Jamie, it was just the way it was occurring and I... Sometimes I have to pinch myself because... I mean, obviously, you know, it took me a while to get an audience and stuff like that and I didn't know these people and stuff. And now that I'm in this situation, I'm still like a kid, man. I'm like, "I can't fucking believe this," you know what I mean? I mean, you probably have met celebrities where you're like, "I can't believe..." Like Barack.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:10Bobby Lee?

  I mean, what's he like?

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Uh, now or then?

• 50:15Speaker 02

  You know, when you're not present anymore, you're... You function at a lower frequency.

• 50:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Than...

• 50:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Than somebody who... But I'll give you an example. So, in the 70s, like, let's say 73, you hear Evil Ways or Oya Komova or Black Magic Woman in the 70s.

• 50:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Santana, Santana.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  You know, you're just a kid, you know, you're fucking 10 or whatever. And, uh... I've been friends with Santana for over 20 years and he performed at Yamava last Wednesday. And I sat in his dressing room, the only one that could go in there before the show. And we sat and talked for like half an hour. So to me, that shit is crazy to sit across from Carlos Santana. Wow. Or go over, take pictures and, and, and. But you don't see those feelings out loud, though.

• 50:54Speaker 07

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• 51:28Speaker 02

  No. You're gonna go, hey, this is a magic moment. Yeah, you can't do that. It fucks it up. But it is, it's a crazy, it's a crazy world. You never imagined that.

• 51:35Speaker 07

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• 53:09Speaker 02

  To do something that's so tough for everybody, like, nobody, nobody is a fucking red, a magic carpet to the top, you know?

• 53:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  And then you just work and work and work, and then you get one thing and you chip away, you get another thing, and then all of a sudden you get to a level where, you know, you, you, you're already known, you don't have to prove anything to anybody, and you're you, you know?

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's amazing. I mean, you know everybody, if I know.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  I do know everybody.

• 53:33Bobby Lee?

  I, I know, you know everybody.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:35Bobby Lee?

  Do you still, I, I just got a job today. Whoa. Wow, look at that shit, dude. That's incredible, dude.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:41Bobby Lee?

  I'll never be in that situation. Oh my god, that's amazing. He's a great, I mean, I, I, I mean, I like.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  I look like Tracy Morgan.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  I look like a Mexican Tracy Morgan.

• 53:51Bobby Lee?

  After the accident.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  What do you mean? No, you know, of cour-, what do you mean? What were you saying?

• 53:57Bobby Lee?

  Well, I was saying, I, I got a job today, and I, I can't say it, talk about it, but, um, It's a good job. It's an NDA, you know, but, um, and it made me feel, like, still, like, I won the lottery.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:09Bobby Lee?

  Do you, you still get those moments? Yeah, where you go, what, me?

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm doing this? This is so exciting.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Good for you, man, good for you.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's so fucking cool. You get little lotteries, you know what I mean?

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  In this business, which I think can be unhealthy because they're dopamine hits.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Well, no, you can't look at it like it's gonna be the only one. It's one of now.

• 54:28Bobby Lee?

  But sometimes, though, it happens where you go a year and you don't have a lot of activity.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:33Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And then sometimes, a year that's like, you're working a lot, you know what I mean?

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:37Bobby Lee?

  It's the nature of the, of the thing, right? But like, you know, I mean, I, I still love that dream, like, the dream of like, oh my god, this is so cool. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful, too, because I, like, I met with the, the people behind this project and stuff, and I was just like, thank you so much for thinking of me, man, this is so exciting. You know what I mean? I still have that. I'm so glad I have that, you know what I mean?

• 54:58Speaker 02

  But do you believe in?

• 55:00Bobby Lee?

  Magic? I do.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. Do you believe in putting a thought out in the universe and having it come back to you?

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  Bro, manifestation, dog?

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do believe that.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  You don't believe in I manifest?

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  No, I do. I live by it.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 55:13Speaker 02

  I think you ha-

• 55:13Bobby Lee?

  I live by it.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  If, if you're, if people aren't manifesting, you're, you're wasting your life because this, noth- nothing is a coincidence and nothing is an accident.

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  In anything.

• 55:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  So, you know, I played golf with Don Cheadle and Don Cheadle was on the phone and talking about like Marvel stuff and the, whether they're gonna go to Australia and whether they're gonna shoot in London and talking and stuff. And he's like telling me stuff and I get in the car and, and I say out loud, I go, what do you have to do to get in a franchise movie?

• 55:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  And that got Blue Beetle like, like in that, within that last year.

• 55:42Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  I mean, it's not gonna be a franchise, but.

• 55:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Uh, they're doing animation and stuff like that, but, but I got to be in a DC movie.

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  That's amazing.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Pretty good.

• 55:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I think that I've manifested and people, cause when we, you know, we've, years ago, we used to talk about manifestation, right? What are the comments like, like it's bullshit or what? Do people believe it or?

• 56:01Speaker 03

  I think people believe it.

• 56:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  There's different ways of framing it, but yeah.

• 56:04Bobby Lee?

  Ever since I was a little kid, like I would watch Carson or whatever and watch stand-ups and stuff and I would lay in bed and truly believe that I'm, I can do this. Right? Even, this is years before I even started, you know what I mean? I still lay my, lay my head down and I think, I, and I, in my heart, I believe other things are gonna happen. I get excited about it. You know what I mean? And I think that, that is a part of manifestation. You visualize it, you believe. I think belief is the big thing.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Well, it's like, I think to make it in anything that you want to do, you have to have some sort of healthy delusion to believe that like, it's possible. Like, I, like, I don't know how many times I bombed in my first year doing stand-up and then I'd be like sad and I'd go into my room by myself and be like, these motherfuckers don't get it. And like, you need that to keep going.

• 56:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  And that's also part of like the manifestation part of it. It's like, you know, if you don't have that, then you would have jumped off the balcony.

• 56:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:56Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's a combination of manifestation and also work.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:00Bobby Lee?

  I mean, you have to do, you, you can't just lay in your fucking basement in the Midwest and, and dream and like not do anything.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:08Bobby Lee?

  You have to try to.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  The fucked up part is, is sometimes you have to work and be in a lot of pain. Like it hurts.

• 57:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  And you're, and you still have to keep going and, you know, shit ain't working out the way you'd like it and you still keep going.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  Well, that process of manifestation, people always think that the manifestation is a one-to-one thing, but there's a whole middle ground of manifestation also means that you're gonna keep doing it until it happens.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  And that whole process is the part that's hard.

• 57:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  To make manifestation real. And like, I totally get that. I mean, you're literally going through it with like, how many shows you've been through.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Like, it's all of it's manifesting with your head on screen.

• 57:42Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  It's two years later.

• 57:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you feel bad? I feel bad, I feel bad about dudes that I started with, and girls, that haven't made it yet.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  They're still trying.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  You do feel bad for them?

• 57:58Speaker 03

  George is like, "I'm good with it, I'm fine."

• 58:00Bobby Lee?

  Not bad, but I, I, I see them around, right? Like, one time, when I was on Animal Practice, there was some extra, you don't call them extra, background, um, that, you know what I mean, where, I was talking to the director, and the background were people I started with open mic. So they thought that they could come up while I'm talking to the director in a scene, and I had to go, "Not the time, guys." Right?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:21Bobby Lee?

  But then I felt bad, you know what I mean? Because these are homies that I, I started with and stuff, yeah. So you don't feel bad?

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, if you're a boxer, you know, and you're, somebody's trying to take something you have, do you feel bad if you knock them out? No, you gotta, you gotta put them up.

• 58:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a little bit of that, competition.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  And, but, but also, you, you, you know, it's not you turning your back on anybody, but it does take, you have to be selfish, man, in this business, in order to get ahead.

• 58:50Bobby Lee?

  Mmm. Yeah, yeah, I, I think, I believe so, too.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  But it's also like, and that's against fucking lame of, like, do you watch UFC? Do you watch UFC or like boxing? Are you a boxing UFC fan?

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Speaking of, I'm wearing my Charles Olivera, so it's just shout out UFC, baby, but I also have come.

• 59:05Bobby Lee?

  All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that down, put that down.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  That shit's not gonna come out, man.

• 59:09Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 59:11Speaker 03

  It's really embarrassing.

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Prison's loaded with motherfuckers that, a come stained them in.

• 59:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, also, if you put come on a wall, it turns yellow.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I've seen that a lot.

• 59:19Bobby Lee?

  I used to do it in my bedroom.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  But my, my, I'd have you use Sherman Williams paint.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  So go ahead.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  But I think it's interesting what you're saying about the boxing thing. It's like, I also think that if, if those people were also manifesting that success for you and you're manifesting success for them, you also have to move like water in a little bit. Like, and I think the best boxers talk about this, best UFC fighters talk about this, where it's like, yeah, there's healthy competition, but they're also my dance partner, at the end of the day.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I see.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  And if they can't respect your success, then that's also them being, getting in their own way of manifesting being in your position someday.

• 59:56Bobby Lee?

  I also do believe this, too. I, the difference, the most talented people don't make it. This is another thing I came up with, one of my philosophies, alright? It's the people that can perform under pressure.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:10Bobby Lee?

  Like, when you're doing, I mean, I did the Tonight Show, that was one of my first TV spots, I was a doorman at the store and I got it. I was still working the door, right? I was behind that curtain.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 1:00:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I was like scared shitless, dude. Like, my, my mouth was dry. And then the guy behind, you know, the walkie talkie guy goes, "Hey, don't worry about it, kid, only 16 million people are watching." That's what he said to me. To fuck my mind up, right? And I looked at him, I went, "No, I play the OR, dude, I got this." And I went into the crush. I know a lot of guys I've set up showcases for, guys that I've tried to help, and they eat it under pressure. You know what I mean? Like, when you're doing the Arsenio, how, were you nervous before that?

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:00:48Bobby Lee?

  Really? Not at all?

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Because, you know, I, I figured out early that if it's gonna happen, don't be nervous, because you can't be your best if you're nervous. So, if you know it's gonna happen, if somebody said to me, "You wanna be on Arsenio tonight", and I wasn't prepared, then I'd probably be nervous.

• 1:01:05Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  But if you're, if you're doing what you're doing and that's what you do, then I would say no.

• 1:01:10Bobby Lee?

  That's the manifestation shit right there. You're prepared.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Bobby Lee?

  Preparation.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  And then you, you know, you wanna be your best, so you, that, the nerves are just a, a, a kind of a reaction to the insecurity, but if you, if you put yourself in a better place and say, "Man, I can't wait till this is over, man, I'm gonna fucking kill him", then you'd, you'd be alright.

• 1:01:27Bobby Lee?

  What about this, though? Do you ever get nervous? Not on your show, but when you're, the first day of like a movie, or do you ever get nervous? I get nervous.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it's natural.

• 1:01:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you get a little anxiety.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, a little bit.

• 1:01:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Bobby Lee?

  And, um...

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  But you're doing well, man, I, I, you know, everybody, but you know what I mean? Like, people love you and stuff like that, so we, we don't want you, we don't, we wouldn't wanna think of you like, uh, uh, worrying about yourself or worried about other things. People love you, man.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  No, no, but I think that's part of your process too. I think it's part of your personality.

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm a little neurotic, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know, I'm getting way better at that. You know what I mean? Where I show up and I'm like, I got this. You know what I mean? I like 10 years ago, I would, because you know, I used to reoccur on Sex and the City. 10, 15 years ago, it would have eaten me up alive. But now I'm like, I can show up and say hi to people and do it, you know what I mean? But there is anxiety and stuff like that, but I used to be petrified, man. Holy shit, yeah.

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  It's scary shit, man.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  You know the best advice I ever got?

• 1:02:21Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Uh, I, a shout out to Seth Rogen, Seth Rogen and Brendan O'Brien, who told me this, is, uh, that, to that same point of like dealing under pressure and be able to perform. The other part is that like, one, talent will get you so far. It's like 50% of it and you have to be the best talent you can. But the other 50% during that pressure time is that after 16 hours, no one wants to kill you. Like you're a good hang during pressure times, during hard times, during easy times.

• 1:02:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, like on set and what?

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, on a writer's room, even if you're working at FedEx, after 16 hours, your favorite worker is the person that you don't want to kill. It's the person you want to keep working with.

• 1:02:56Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm gonna say that you, you probably don't hear that advice a lot, but it, that, that's, that's platinum, that shit, right there.

• 1:03:03Bobby Lee?

  You think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really is.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  Because if you have, if you're around somebody, you're a nuisance and you're like, what the fuck is this dude?

• 1:03:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  And, and that word gets out, because it does get out.

• 1:03:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  In other places, although ask somebody, hey, you worked with that dude? How was it? Oh, man, dude's a fucking mess, man.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't want him around. They could be the most talented person, but life is too short.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  That's right, that's right.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  I believe that, that's, that's very true.

• 1:03:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because I've been on sets, you know what I mean, you know, where there's a pretty big actor or whatever and I'm, you know, and they're just so rude and aloof. And it makes everyone feel uncomfortable and stuff like that. And I'm like, I would never want to do another movie with this person, no matter what it was.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  I've been that person sometimes. You go to a bar show and I'm like looking down on the people running a bar show. And now I see those comics and they're killing it. And I go, I was the dick that was being a fucking nuisance when I shouldn't have been. I should have just done my set and been cool.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:52Bobby Lee?

  What? Really?

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  I mean, we've all been there. You go to a bar show you don't want to be at, you think these guys-

• 1:03:57Bobby Lee?

  I haven't done a bar show in like 30 years.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  You just got mad a guy didn't pick up your luggage for you, bro?

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  I didn't say that. I said, fuck you, man.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Fuck you, man! I would love to sell shows. Fuck you, man!

• 1:04:14Bobby Lee?

  Let me say something to you, okay? I said that I don't like it when you go down and there's just no one there with a sign. I didn't say picking up.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  One of these days, I swear to God, I'm gonna fucking show up at one of your shows, it's gonna be me holding your-

• 1:04:24Bobby Lee?

  And also, the motherfucker, I'm glad you brought this up, dude, right? The other day when I asked you to fucking open for me in Phoenix?

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  This is a lie already! I said, yes!

• 1:04:32Bobby Lee?

  I heard this story, I heard this story.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  I texted him, I texted him six times, he never responded.

• 1:04:37Bobby Lee?

  He said that you did not want to do it, and it was weird. No.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:04:40Bobby Lee?

  Your enthusiasm wasn't right.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  That's what it was? This is how I said it, I go, "Of course I want to open for you."

• 1:04:48Bobby Lee?

  No, there was no punctuation.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  Because I was talking so fast, I was so excited!

• 1:04:52Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. You use punctuations, bitch. Right? Exclamation bow, "Of course!", I mean, I read into those things. "Thank you, George." Like that?

• 1:05:02Bobby Lee?

  I'll do it. Fucking eat, or, oh, all right. Yeah. Oh, I think you also said, "Well, I haven't done it in a while." Did you not say that?

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  But I did go, but then I go, "I haven't done it in a while, but I will kill really hard."

• 1:05:16Bobby Lee?

  I don't know if that was there, but anyway, um, yeah, yeah, I can read behind the words. And the intention, you know, I have that ability.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  I'm gonna show you these texts.

• 1:05:24Bobby Lee?

  I can read behind the words. Let George Lopez decide. I can read behind the words. Yeah, oh yeah, pull it out, see what I, let's be real with it.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  Okay, let me ask you first.

• 1:05:33Bobby Lee?

  But it's part of you thinking like, "I'm at a couple of shows, man, I'm-"

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  No, I think, I, I, I'm one of those people that I would do anything to open Bobby. I would do anything.

• 1:05:41Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  I told him I'd fly myself out.

• 1:05:42Bobby Lee?

  Who would you pick?

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 1:05:44Bobby Lee?

  Me or Joe Coy?

• 1:05:45Speaker 03

  It's George Lopez.

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  Ooh, safe pick. Exactly. That's better. That's good.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  That's who I would pick.

• 1:05:51Bobby Lee?

  But you would pick Joe Coy first, before me? Pull up the fucking message, pull up the message, bitch.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  I'll do anything for you guys. Alright. Okay, check this out.

• 1:05:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:06:01Bobby Lee?

  George will decide.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  The text messages.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  What's your assistant's name, Melissa?

• 1:06:06Bobby Lee?

  Melanie.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  Look at this.

• 1:06:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know, that's even my fucking assistant.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Being like, hey, Andrew Lopez, I talked to Bobby last week about finding some dates to go on the road with him. I'd love to watch his hour and also help him out and give some thoughts. I also have some time for him at my show at the Elysian Theater. It's a workroom. I'd love to give him a residency, two to four weeks. He can work on material. It's a safe place. I also wanted to reach out to schedule those dates to go on the road. If April works for me, I can do any Tuesday in April for my show and any road date that works best. I'll also fly myself out. Sorry for the novel text. No worries, let me get back to you. March 25. Sorry for the double text, no pressure at all, but I wanted to check up on this. She goes, so sorry, Bobby is really booked for April.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  He offered you a workroom too.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be over here.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  George, George, George, I have a defense.

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 1:06:58Bobby Lee?

  You're the judge, okay? My defense is this, okay? That information was not relayed to me by Melanie. Alright, so it's like...

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  Don't fire her, keep her. She's great.

• 1:07:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, she's great. So if you were to text me that information directly...

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something? The reason why I have that number is because Bobby goes, here's her number, text her this info.

• 1:07:18Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I'm...

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  But that's on you, though.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's...

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, alright.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  But don't let it happen, man, because then you'll become that dude that is asking people to do shit and then you don't read your own messages.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Right? Then they get further down and then you really don't look at it.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, you know. Okay, I apologize. Thank you, George. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  Do you, are you involved with that, what's it called, Elysian, what's it?

• 1:07:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Elysian Theater on the east side.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  Okay. Check this out.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll...

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  You wanna talk about a manifestation in the universe?

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wanna hear it.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  A couple of years ago, I drove by that theater and I said, that looks, that might, looks like it might be a good place to work out and do stand-up. And then he says it's a workroom.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Speaker 02

  So I saw it a couple of years ago, never went in there, but I live in that area. I drove by it. I said, oh shit, that looks like a great theater to do comedy in.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  And he just said to you, the Elysian Room, and it's a great place, it's a workroom.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Would you play there?

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll tell you guys this too. It's like, we run, we run this show that we do a secret lineup, and so we don't, you guys don't have to put your name out there. You guys can drop in whenever you want, and it's the greatest room, it's a safe place. People there love comedy. You don't have to take, kill your ticket sales in town. You drop in whenever you want. When I offered it.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  How about that? I was gonna call over there and see, you guys do stand up in there and stuff? And here he is.

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:08:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  Every Tuesday.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  That's wild.

• 1:08:36Bobby Lee?

  That's wild, that's wild, wow. What nights are they?

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  We do every Tu- I run every Tuesday.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  It looks like a fucking great place.

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's, and it's one of those things too where it's like, I mean, I, I think that like, people there would be so excited to see you guys because, I will say this, the-

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  It's cool as shit, man, I'm, I'm tripped out because I never, you know, other than going and calling the place, I even, hadn't even heard anybody say that, that Legion Room.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Isn't that a beautiful space though?

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  It's wild, like.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  We gotta go down there.

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're gonna do it.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Come through.

• 1:09:02Bobby Lee?

  We're gonna do it, we're gonna do it, so, is there a theater?

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  There's two rooms, you can do the small black box room, which is actually, I think, better to work out new shit.

• 1:09:09Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  You know? It's really safe, there's, nobody has their phones, it's so intimate in there, and then there's the theater room. I would say like, you drop in and do the black box room, because you can fucking be yourself in there.

• 1:09:19Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow. How many seats is it?

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  Um, well, I'll, I'll, I'll pack it out for you.

• 1:09:24Bobby Lee?

  How do you pack it out for me? If you, if you don't?

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Because it's you.

• 1:09:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you're not promoting me, you said.

• 1:09:29Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, if I, if you want me to drop-

• 1:09:31Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't want that, no, no, we'll just do a drop.

• 1:09:33Speaker 03

  People, people know, people know, and I think, we had Joe Coy come through, we, like, we have some big names coming up.

• 1:09:38Bobby Lee?

  Give me some, give me some names.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  Uh. Bleep it out if you want.

• 1:09:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we'll bleep it out.

• 1:09:42Speaker 03

  Bleep it out?

• 1:09:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 03

  We have, we, we, we're, come through? And then like-

• 1:09:47Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're trying to do this thing, because the reason for it, and actually, this is good for comedy, and I love, I'll tell you this, I, you know, with the internet nowadays, going back to sitcom thing, I feel like there's nobody, there's no room for people who are on the road to work on stuff. There's no open mics anymore. So how do you give open mics to people who wanna work on shit? And it's all paid audience? It's awesome.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Uh, you know,

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  Sounds awesome.

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  Not that I would compare,

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  but this dude,

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  he really has a fucking handle on all this shit.

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  Way, way further than any fucking comic act should be, this motherfucker's on his way.

• 1:10:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I, I learned from you guys.

• 1:10:26Bobby Lee?

  That's the part of you I don't like.

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:10:28Bobby Lee?

  This is the part of you that I don't like, dude.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  You guys paved the way for us to be able to do this shit.

• 1:10:33Bobby Lee?

  See, even that's manipulative.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  It's not! I'm telling the story! I've, I've heard both of you guys' stories on podcasts where you guys had to fucking audition for Asian guys screaming at a fucking dinosaur one.

• 1:10:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  If you didn't do that for me, I couldn't do this shit.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  So I'm just giving you flowers.

• 1:10:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, now, I get nothing, you get everything.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  People are walking, bye Bobby!

• 1:10:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay. So, lesion room, we'll do it.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, come through.

• 1:10:59Bobby Lee?

  I can't do it this Tuesday, but next Tuesday.

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  Well, let me ask you guys this.

• 1:11:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, you're doing your fucking Hollywood fucking bullshit.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  No, I'm trying.

• 1:11:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:06Speaker 03

  This is for your viewers, that you're gonna, you're gonna pave the way for Tiger Belly fans. They're gonna be like, I learned this on Bobby Lee's podcast.

• 1:11:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  All right? What do you think about people posting their clips on the internet before it's worked out material?

• 1:11:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I hate it.

• 1:11:17Speaker 02

  Oh, it's terrible.

• 1:11:18Bobby Lee?

  It's terrible.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  It's the worst.

• 1:11:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't think that it serves them at all. You know, I think that, um, like, I would have control of my, I've never clipped a stand-up, but when I do my special for Hulu coming soon.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 1:11:31Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, thank you so much. Um, that I will clip those out because I've been working on them. You know what I mean? But these younger comics that are doing fucking crowd work for their thing? Yeah, it's just like, write a joke.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Bobby Lee?

  What do you think of that crowd work?

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  You know, uh, uh, okay. The crowd work is terrible.

• 1:11:52Bobby Lee?

  It's fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  You, you, you know, when we, when I came up, you wanted to not have to involve the crowd. You worked on your act and, and, I'll tell you a story. Do you know who Eddie Strange or Ross Bennett? Ross Bennett is Eddie Strange? So, this guy had a character Eddie Strange from San Francisco. Really funny man. Name was Ross Bennett, he'd do this Eddie, Eddie Strange character. So, we were in Hu- we were in Hawaii, we were at the Officers Club in, in Honolulu. And, um, it was really kinda rowdy and the first guy goes, I'm gonna go up there and I'm gonna, you know, do 15, he did like eight. And I was supposed to do half an hour, I did like 12.

• 1:12:27Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Right? It was fucking terrible audience. I mean, terrible audience, I'd say. And that dude went up there and did his act and got a standing ovation.

• 1:12:36Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  And the next day in the hotel, I said, hey man, how, how did that happen last night? What, what happened? He goes, well, you guys went up there, you were talking to the crowd, you were trying to fucking latch on to something and run with it.

• 1:12:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  He goes, I trust my act so much that I just did my act and I knew that it was gonna take care of me.

• 1:12:50Bobby Lee?

  Damn.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  And, uh, fucking from that day forward, I fucking stopped fucking around with the audience.

• 1:12:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  I went and got some three by five cards and I put my shit in the list. I was really not. Excited about doing stuff in a list. And then it it changed the way I did stand up and changed the way the reactions. But also leave room to fuck around in there too.

• 1:13:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  But I'd never went up there and just trying to shoot at the hip and try to fucking land something, no.

• 1:13:14Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  So that advice was was great advice that I got.

• 1:13:17Bobby Lee?

  Because at times, maybe it will work, right? But the times that it doesn't, you get you lose them. You will lose them.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  You'll lose them.

• 1:13:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you have you ever done this? And I've done I did this a couple of weeks ago and I feel kind of bad about it, but I really don't. But um is I had to kind of schooled my feature a little bit. Cause he went up, I'm not gonna say his name, but you know who he is. Uh, and I love him and he's still gonna work for me. But um he went, he went up and did twenty minutes of crowd work before me.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh. Right, so then. Yeah, so then when I went up, they were talkative because what it does is opens up. In their minds, the audience thinks, oh, we can talk to them. Right? And it would it I struggled a little bit. I mean, I still got him, but it was like tough, you know? And I told him, I go, don't fucking talk to them. I mean, would you ever school the feature?

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:14:04Bobby Lee?

  You've done it before?

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:14:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don't do this.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Don't go over the time, that's fine. Don't go over the time and don't and don't talk to the audience.

• 1:14:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a huge one, overtime. It it just.

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  Especially if it's your guy, your guy's there to set the set the table up. See it up or whatever. But to go in the audience and then for twenty minutes would be like, no, can't do that.

• 1:14:22Bobby Lee?

  What back in the day when you did clubs and stuff and they gave you a feature or an opener? Did you ever yell at them or no? Sometimes you go to a club, right? And you you know, I mean, you're like, you know, a mid-table comic. So you're like, I wanna save some money, I'll go. And then the local comics will go before me. But you don't know them at all. You don't know their acts, you know what I mean? You you don't even know if your audience will like them or whatever. And then like they you see them, you're like, oh, no, you know what I mean? If I had to say stuff, you know what I mean? Have you?

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  You know, I I I was pretty lucky. I had pretty good guys, you know? But but also in I would probably say when I started doing clubs and traveling in the eighties. It it wasn't that wasn't an issue, you know? It wasn't there was there wasn't thousands of people out there either. So you kind of got an idea of who was who was out there. And then when I started to to headline the clubs, I started to take my own guys.

• 1:15:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:11Speaker 05

  What? We laughing, but I haven't said anything yet.

• 1:15:15Bobby Lee?

  I know. But I know, but you know, before you say what you're saying, I swear to God, I'll let you say what you're saying.

• 1:15:20Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:15:21Bobby Lee?

  But just come in with some confidence.

• 1:15:23Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:15:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:23Speaker 05

  It's like, once like, the new audience, like on, on the internet, they see a bunch of comedians doing crowd work, they go to comedy shows now thinking, oh, this is, we can talk to them, even though like, that's not the audience.

• 1:15:37Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:15:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:39Speaker 05

  You know what I'm talking about, Bob?

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  He doesn't use a lot of words, but he fucking get out there.

• 1:15:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:45Speaker 02

  No, he's right, he's right.

• 1:15:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think that's right. I think that's right. Yeah, I mean, there's been a couple of guys that went viral recently.

• 1:15:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, name names, but um, and they, you know, they made it through crowd work, because obviously, you know, they probably filmed thirty shows, and then one of the shows, it's really working, they put that clip up, right, and it's like, you know, um, yeah, I never really thought about that, but I, I, I suppose that would affect club comedy, or just comedy in general, but, I don't know, I've never, you know, I, I haven't really witnessed a lot of heckling, you know?

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  If, if you're doing a fucking arena, and you're doing crowd work in an arena, you don't belong in the fucking arena, to tell you the truth.

• 1:16:23Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  Because that's, it's too big.

• 1:16:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  And you know, screens or whatever, somebody's looking down, they, they, no, e- even when you're in a bigger theater.

• 1:16:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:32Speaker 02

  You can't see the people in front, so you feel like you're, you're just, you're watching through glass, or some shit.

• 1:16:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  You can't figure out what they're talking to, so, at some point, you're gonna have to have material.

• 1:16:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  It's just not gonna, it's not gonna fly, it's, it's almost like, you know, the, the, the wave of sitcom, or the wave of, of fads, or the wave of the stock market, it, it's what people are into, and then it's gonna be what people aren't into.

• 1:16:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:52Speaker 02

  And where are you gonna be when it's, when people aren't into it?

• 1:16:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right, right, right, right, it's, it is a fad, I guess.

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:58Bobby Lee?

  Do you perf- what's your perfect amount of people to perform in front of?

• 1:17:03Bobby Lee?

  Because I've done a couple of gigantic, like I did a show with Segura and Bird and Shane Gillis in Vegas. It was like eighteen thousand and I hated it.

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  You did?

• 1:17:13Bobby Lee?

  You know, I didn't hate it because it's like, there was no heckling and it's like, you know, it was a seat and a round too. So I didn't know where to turn. You know what I mean? I would do like this Michael Jackson, I would turn around. I didn't know what to do, right? Yeah? And then it's like, it was kind of a blur, you know, I got off and I think Kimmel was there, Jim was like, "Great job," whatever, right? But it's, I didn't feel like I connected really.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:34Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? I mean, I think two, three thousand, five thousand is good, not that I, you know what I mean? You know, I just do clubs right now, but you know, but um...

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  Were you nervous to go up?

• 1:17:43Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:17:44Speaker 03

  Were you nervous to go up in front of that many people?

• 1:17:46Bobby Lee?

  No, I had done it before, you know what I mean? But it's like a, what?

• 1:17:49Speaker 03

  I'm just asking you a question.

• 1:17:50Bobby Lee?

  One time I got booed off the stage in front of twenty thousand people.

• 1:17:53Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:17:53Bobby Lee?

  Twenty years ago.

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:17:56Bobby Lee?

  It was called the Doghouse Comedy Jam up in...

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  In San Francisco?

• 1:17:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, um, I had to follow Leslie Jones when she was young and she dry humped this white kid in the crowd.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:06Bobby Lee?

  Crushed it. And you could hear the, the stadium rattle. And I walked up there, two minutes in, I was getting booed offstage.

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  And that's crowd shit too. I mean, that, that's all like, you know. If you were a headliner, you wouldn't want to have a comedian humping somebody from the audience before you went.

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  It would not be your fucking ideal situation.

• 1:18:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  That's, that's, that's part of it.

• 1:18:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:30Speaker 03

  There's nothing harder than following Brad Williams twerking at the Ice House, you know?

• 1:18:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 1:18:34Speaker 03

  It's like, oh shit, I gotta go up there and talk about...

• 1:18:36Bobby Lee?

  Unless you're closing, if you're closing, do whatever you fuck up on.

• 1:18:38Speaker 02

  You're closing, you can do whatever you want.

• 1:18:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  You earned it.

• 1:18:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  Closing, you earned it.

• 1:18:41Bobby Lee?

  But in some of those like, you know what I mean, all-star comedy jams and you're, and you're like with twenty other, twelve other great comedians.

• 1:18:49Speaker 03

  And I, and I get it if you, if you're going up there to have to kill, you gotta do what you gotta do to kill, but... What, bro?

• 1:18:57Bobby Lee?

  It's like, you rarely do stand-up, but you have so much knowledge.

• 1:19:02Speaker 03

  It's the Adderall.

• 1:19:03Bobby Lee?

  You're doing this TV thing and it's like...

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  What are you talking about?

• 1:19:06Bobby Lee?

  No, but I see...

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  Oh, so you don't do stand-up that much?

• 1:19:08Bobby Lee?

  Uh...

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  Because you're busy working on shows?

• 1:19:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what?

• 1:19:11Speaker 03

  I also just think, I don't wanna burn out.

• 1:19:13Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  I wanna, I wanna have perspective.

• 1:19:15Bobby Lee?

  It's great, dude. It's great. You know what Bruce, you know Bruce Lee says, "I wanna be like, you have to be like water." You know what I mean? That's what you're doing. You're being like water right now and I want you to hit the dam.

• 1:19:27Bobby Lee?

  George, can I bring this up? This is the problem with Bobby sometimes. You ask that question, this is his thing. I think that sometimes you feel threatened when you shouldn't.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  I'm not threatening at all.

• 1:19:35Bobby Lee?

  Why do I have to put the?

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  I feel free.

• 1:19:37Bobby Lee?

  The dam out.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  Why you tell me to put the dam out?

• 1:19:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this dude.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Well, you see how he looks at you? Bobby's looking at you like this, like.

• 1:19:45Speaker 02

  It's not a normal look like this.

• 1:19:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Because it's a skill set I never learned. I'm learning from you. It's a skill set to be like water.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something.

• 1:19:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  I love you, man.

• 1:19:56Bobby Lee?

  I love you too, but my, I'm not a guy, if I go to a C A Christmas party, I'm the dude with a Diet Coke, sitting down and just watching people.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  But that's a comedian's all kind of like that.

• 1:20:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know how to go, oh, there's so and so, there's Bradley Cooper, I'm gonna try to get a job. What's this?

• 1:20:12Speaker 03

  I would never do that either.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 1:20:13Speaker 04

  Look at that. MGM not knowing where to stare in the.

• 1:20:16Speaker 02

  You did the Michael Jackson move.

• 1:20:17Speaker 04

  You did the.

• 1:20:19Bobby Lee?

  Look at how fat I was. Oh my God, I'm a baked potato, look at that.

• 1:20:23Speaker 02

  You know what? I never saw you looking like that.

• 1:20:24Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? What do you mean?

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  I don't know, I never really saw you as fat.

• 1:20:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But I, look, when you look at that, I'm fat, right?

• 1:20:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, I hooked up with a girl that night, so she didn't mean.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Bobby Lee?

  She didn't care, but it's like, yeah, I was a.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  You look like a, you look like one of the zombies in 28 Days Later.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  He said, oh.

• 1:20:45Bobby Lee?

  What, what do you mean?

• 1:20:47Speaker 03

  You've not seen that trailer?

• 1:20:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the new one?

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Bobby Lee?

  28 years. 28 years later, yeah.

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

  Where they have like an anakin hands and they have string and hair.

• 1:20:56Bobby Lee?

  Tell me more.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  Hey, but do you have an idea? Do you have an idea in your head of, of what you'll do and what you'll not do? Or do you do everything? You don't do everything, do you?

• 1:21:05Speaker 03

  What do you mean everything?

• 1:21:06Speaker 02

  Like, you know, if you say, oh, you know, three to seven or 5,000 or, or those shows from the radio stations, would you turn that down because you'd say, you know what? It's not, it's kind of not my thing I'm comfortable with.

• 1:21:16Bobby Lee?

  The only thing I won't do is corporate gigs.

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:18Bobby Lee?

  Because I don't like people telling me what not to say.

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:21:21Bobby Lee?

  But anything else, I say yes. I mean, I, I, um, I'm confident in that way. I feel like I'm, I have a big following and I feel like, um, and my fans are so fun, you know what I mean? So it's like, no, I feel very blessed. So I know I have confidence.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  Good.

• 1:21:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:35Speaker 03

  Are you excited after you get your hour out to rebuild an hour? Or is that to give you anxiety?

• 1:21:39Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna take a break. I'm gonna take a break after that. How long does it take you to do, to write the hour? This took, uh, this hour took 25 years. First, first, first. Yeah. George, George. This is your first special? I've never done a special before. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. Where is it? I wanna go. I've never done one before, so it's like, um, this is the first time where a company went, here's the money that I thought I deserved, right? And there was like, and the excitement, you know what I mean? You know, other companies, they were always like, well, pitch it to us, or, you know what I mean? We have to come see you run it 10 times, or whatever like that. Right. But this company was like, we don't even have to see it, we wanna do it, let's, let's fucking do it. Yeah. So, um, that's why I'm doing it, so I'm a little nervous, but, um...

• 1:22:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I saw the, I saw you, you're on every like billboard, every, every bus stop and all that stuff, the Hulu, you're on the Hulu? No, I'm not on the Hulu, that's Frankie Cuñones. Anyway, um...

• 1:22:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, next year I will be, with Sebastian's on my, you know what I mean? Yeah. Maniscalco, so, I don't know dude, I'm gonna shoot in San Diego, it's gonna be at the Balboa Theater, January 23rd and 24th, and, um, you know, I'm gonna be ready, and then, uh, we'll see what happens. Listen motherfucker, if you're not ready by January 23rd, I'll fucking come and fucking take you, nobody will ever see you again. Yeah, but, uh, cuz I, I'm getting paranoid of like, is this cool, or, you know what I mean? I mean, I, I'm just gonna put everything that gets a laugh, because sometimes I think like, you know, I, I get influenced by hipsters, like your type. My type? Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, the east side, you know what I mean? The skinny jeans, you know what I mean? The, the handlebar mustache, you know what I mean? And they're like, you know what I mean? I love that you're talking about hipsters from like 2006.

• 1:23:16Bobby Lee?

  No, what I'm saying...

• 1:23:20Bobby Lee?

  You know, comics that talk about, uh, Tierra Guard, or like, R- R- Rachmaninoff, you know what I mean? These references, right? And I'm like, I, I wanna be, I wanna be cool too, but I talk about like my ding dong, and, you know what I mean? Yeah. And my anus and stuff like that, you know what I mean? And I think to myself like, that it's low brow, but they get big laughs, so I'm just gonna do what feels like it's gonna get a laugh, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. And that's cool. What? That is cool. Yeah, and I do a musical number at the end. So you've never been offered a special before, or never pursued one? Well, one happened one time, and I don't know if, this is really, I'll just name it. Couple of years ago, all my fans were like, where's your special? So I thought, you know, let me see, try to get a deal.

• 1:24:00Bobby Lee?

  So we reached out to the biggest one, and they go, we don't know, we'll give them a 15-minute one. Oh. Right, and after they said that, I was like, oh, no one wants one. Until like

• 1:24:12Speaker 02

  You don't say names?

• 1:24:15Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, yeah, it's whatever that figure says, yeah, yeah. So I just, you know, when this Hulu came, I was like, that's the right amount of enthusiasm because I think that I'm a part of, you know, I mean, the comedy community. Also, I have a voice that's different. I do comedy that's different and I I've paid my dues, man. I got Mad TV in 2000.

• 1:24:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:34Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? I've been doing it. Yeah, I was just doing everything. I've done everything, man. It's like just give me something, you know what I mean? And so they're gonna do it.

• 1:24:42Speaker 02

  Fucking 25 years ago, man.

• 1:24:44Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:24:44Speaker 02

  He said 2000. I was like, fucking 25 years.

• 1:24:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's incredible. It's incredible. Yeah. And I feel, um, I'm so glad that I found a new audience. It makes me feel like I have some relevancy still.

• 1:24:56Speaker 02

  No, no, but this, but this is like, if you, if you saw somebody do sets or you saw, became a fan of theirs from television and, and then they see you here, it's more personal here

• 1:25:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  than it is on TV. Like you get a following, oh, they really like him on TV because he's funny. But this, I mean, is deeper uh, following, more soulful. They see you in a different element. They see what you are. Then that's, that's the following you want.

• 1:25:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because they know, they know about my trauma. I don't want to talk about myself, but the trauma and my, you know, the dark times when I grew up because I grew up in a very violent home and all that stuff. It was pretty dark, dude. And, um, although my parents loved me, it was just like Korean rage, you know what I mean?

• 1:25:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:33Bobby Lee?

  And, um, if you get a B on your report card, you get beaten, that kind of thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. So, um, you know.

• 1:25:39Speaker 02

  So they must be fucking thrilled. You're a comedian.

• 1:25:43Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, when I did the, I have to say this a thousand times, but when I did the Tonight Show, my dad called me the next day and he goes, "How much you pay them?"

• 1:25:50Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what it is?

• 1:25:50Bobby Lee?

  He thought that I called Jay Leno and go, "Here's 20 grand."

• 1:25:57Bobby Lee?

  Like, he doesn't know how it works.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:59Bobby Lee?

  Right. And when I said, "No, this is a miracle that I got this. I'm a doorman at the store." And they asked a doorman to do the Tonight Show. And obviously after the Tonight Show, I quit my job at the Comedy Store as an employee, but it's like, um, they just, but then later, when I got Mad TV, they, they did sketches with us.

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:26:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I did a sketch with Ike Baranholdt with my dad a couple of times. It was pretty fun. But the last question I want to ask you, George, is, um, what else do you want to do in your career?

• 1:26:26Speaker 02

  Well, you know, I want to go until twenty twenty nine because it's fifty years.

• 1:26:31Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:26:32Speaker 02

  So, you know, my grandfather used to tell me I was fucking lazy and I wasn't gonna be shit. And, you know, my grandma told me it wasn't funny and all those things that you talk about. So I was like, you know, if I could do fifty years, I think, uh, it's a long time.

• 1:26:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:45Speaker 02

  So if I, I'd go to twenty twenty nine. I talked about retiring, but I think, uh, you know, the show comes back, there's some movies there, produce some stuff, produce some stuff.

• 1:26:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  Maybe do some young comic stuff and, and, and, you know, I've learned a lot in the twenty five years.

• 1:26:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:58Speaker 02

  And I produced over, you know, almost two hundred episodes of TV, so you would say that. I'd, I'd share it out a little bit, run it out a little bit.

• 1:27:06Bobby Lee?

  But at twenty nine.

• 1:27:07Speaker 02

  But not as removed as I was twenty five years ago, or not as distant as I was. I, I was really distant. I was really, nobody kind of really knew me.

• 1:27:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:16Speaker 02

  And then in this new thing, I'm a little more accessible then.

• 1:27:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, of course, dude. And, um, but I just, I can't see myself not going up.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:24Bobby Lee?

  I'll retire, but I think I'd always do spots, don't you think, or no?

• 1:27:29Speaker 02

  I could see myself not going up.

• 1:27:30Bobby Lee?

  Really? Wow, wow, wow.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  It's a long time, you know, and it's different, it's different, you know, everybody has different needs of it, you know.

• 1:27:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:38Speaker 03

  Do, do, would you, can you see yourself not going up because that time is sacred to you? Or because you're, you think you've said everything you wanted to do?

• 1:27:45Speaker 02

  Well, I think you always have something to say. I mean, things the way shit is right now. But I think in, um, I think in a way of that it's given you so many opportunities, you know, from just writing on a piece of paper.

• 1:27:58Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  You know, three Grammy nominations and then whatever the stuff is and, and movies and stuff and, and all from that. So I think, you know, I, I appreciate it respectfully, always love it, but I could see myself, you know, taking a bit of a sidestep.

• 1:28:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, pulling a Gene Hackman, just disappear.

• 1:28:13Speaker 02

  And then the fucking rats eat me and fucking.

• 1:28:17Speaker 02

  Damn. Yeah, we still don't know. You know, I don't care where you live. Yeah, yeah. When someone goes into your house and they're not supposed to be there, they look at this shit, you're like, who the fuck would live in that? I know. That's a nice place, but I mean, all the places that you see. Yeah, yeah. They all look like motherfucking hubble, like people are in their fucking bed. But also you have money, Gene. Yeah. Go to Hawaii, right? Buy an island. That's right. Right, that's what I would have, I would have bought island. But also he's really old and fragile, so I, I. Okay. His wife, you have money, I would say, his wife should not have been taking care of him. He should have had around the clock people taking care of him. Dude, there's gonna be 20 people taking care of me, checking up on me. You know, so you're not having dip, watching TV, eating fucking roach, roach, roach caca. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  That's what, it's all that shit that got him, that the house was fucking dirty, man. Wow, no house cleaner? No. Wow. Right, that's a thing, man, when you got, yeah. When you, when you have dementia, you mean? Or when you're in a.

• 1:29:13Speaker 06

  Rats, yeah, the rats gave a hantavirus to the wife and then the wife couldn't care for him, since she died first.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  What's a hunt, what's a hunt, what's a hunt?

• 1:29:20Speaker 06

  It's something that rats give you.

• 1:29:22Speaker 02

  Wow, if I see one rat, I'm gonna get a guy to.

• 1:29:24Speaker 04

  They have to like bite you to get it?

• 1:29:25Speaker 06

  No, no, they're just being around, it's like a disease that you get.

• 1:29:28Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:29:29Speaker 06

  Like rat.

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  Dude, that's, yeah, man. That's crazy. Yeah, anyway. I had a house in Hawaii and, and I saw, I got bit by a fucking centipede. No. A centipede, and it's like electric, it's like you got electrocuted. Whoa. I was on the bed and I heard, you know, and then I felt something and I was like, fucking centipede fucking bit me, and that motherfucker was like that long. Wow, wow. So I called the organ guy in the island, I said, get over here and bomb, if I see a fucking gecko, 25.

• 1:29:57Speaker 02

  Fucking, I want 2,500 feet of fucking spurt, that nothing's gonna come in there. Yeah, yeah. Sleeping in this thing fucking bites you or you see that. Yeah. I mean, come on, man, that's what. Wait, wait. Is that where Elvis died? The same thing.

• 1:30:08Speaker 04

  Gene Hackman's home.

• 1:30:09Speaker 02

  That's Gene Hackman's home. Bro.

• 1:30:10Speaker 04

  Bobby?

• 1:30:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. Wow. Look at the evidence thing, the 1, 2, 3, see? Oh, right, right, wow, evidence, wow. I mean. Yo, man, that's, they got a candle in the fucking bathroom.

• 1:30:21Bobby Lee?

  You have like the same.

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  Doing the same shit huh?

• 1:30:23Bobby Lee?

  What, I have the same. You have candles everywhere.

• 1:30:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, fucking things, yeah.

• 1:30:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh fuck.

• 1:30:27Speaker 02

  Candles everywhere.

• 1:30:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my, okay, I'll change my shit. Yeah, please.

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, that's.

• 1:30:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, wow, that's so sad, what a legend. What a legend.

• 1:30:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, you got, you know, if you get to the point where you're like, you're not, but you gotta enjoy, like, just at least have, be taken care of.

• 1:30:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, George, uh.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  I love you guys, man, this was fun.

• 1:30:49Bobby Lee?

  That was amazing.

• 1:30:50Speaker 05

  Can I tell you a joke, George?

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:53Speaker 05

  Cause we're about to end there, but, uh, so me and my friends back home, we wrote a joke, cause, you know, we're Latinos, we grew, um, grew up watching you, George Lopez.

• 1:31:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:02Bobby Lee?

  He's so nervous.

• 1:31:04Speaker 05

  Alright, so.

• 1:31:05Speaker 02

  And how was that? You like, you, did you like my show and stuff? You thought it was funny?

• 1:31:08Speaker 05

  We woke up at 3 a.m., you know?

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:31:12Speaker 05

  Okay, but, that's how I remember. I always, I always wanted to be Max.

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:31:17Speaker 05

  I always wanted to be, yeah, I wanna be Max.

• 1:31:19Bobby Lee?

  Are you, are you really nervous right now?

• 1:31:21Speaker 05

  A little bit, yeah.

• 1:31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:22Speaker 05

  Alright, so what does George Lopez get at Starbucks?

• 1:31:25Speaker 02

  Oh, uh.

• 1:31:27Speaker 05

  What do you think his order is?

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  Tell me.

• 1:31:30Speaker 05

  Just guess.

• 1:31:32Bobby Lee?

  The joke, you.

• 1:31:34Speaker 05

  Okay, okay.

• 1:31:36Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't know the punchline!

• 1:31:40Speaker 05

  So, what's, uh.

• 1:31:41Speaker 02

  What does George Lopez get at Starbucks?

• 1:31:42Speaker 05

  What's his order, yeah?

• 1:31:44Speaker 02

  What's his order?

• 1:31:45Bobby Lee?

  Macho!

• 1:31:46Speaker 02

  Hey! That's good.

• 1:31:50Bobby Lee?

  I need context.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 1:31:54Speaker 02

  Cause I would say, "Wacha!"

• 1:31:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's, ah, very good. That's a really good joke, wow.

• 1:32:01Speaker 04

  Hacha!

• 1:32:03Speaker 02

  Macho! Macho, macho.

• 1:32:05Bobby Lee?

  That's incredible, dude.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  He, okay, he did it!

• 1:32:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but he's not gonna use that joke, oh, you know that.

• 1:32:11Speaker 02

  It's funny.

• 1:32:12Bobby Lee?

  It is funny. So, George, um, thank you for doing our podcast again.

• 1:32:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, I love you guys.

• 1:32:16Bobby Lee?

  Honestly, dude, I love you so much, and give George Lopez a round of applause, that was amazing. Look at his dates, look at his tour dates.

• 1:32:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna wrap it up, huh? I did miss it. I've been kinda off since November, but I did, I did miss it.

• 1:32:31Bobby Lee?

  So you're doing New Brunswick, New Jersey, Waterbury.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did Waterbury last week.

• 1:32:36Bobby Lee?

  Last week, okay. So then what's coming up? Long Beach is coming up.

• 1:32:38Speaker 02

  Rock Casino. Yeah, good stuff.

• 1:32:40Bobby Lee?

  Wow, man. Also, his special just came out on Amazon.

• 1:32:43Speaker 02

  On Amazon.

• 1:32:44Bobby Lee?

  On Amazon. So check out his special on Amazon and in a couple of years, we'll have you back on, George. We love you.

• 1:32:50Speaker 02

  I can't wait. I love you too, guys.

• 1:32:51Bobby Lee?

  Love you.