‘Friday the 13th’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan

Bill, Chris, and Van, head to Camp Blood for a fun summer at the lake and to revisit the 1980 horror classic ‘Friday the 13th’ starring Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, and Kevin Bacon. Whalefall in theaters Friday. Get tickets now: https://fandango.com/whalefall-2026-246280/movie-overview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Bill Simmons?

  The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find, I don't know, nine Ben Lathan podcasts, Higher Learning.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, Higher Learning, Ringiverse, like, Higher Learning, Ringiverse, Tailgate.

• 0:18Bill Simmons?

  CR, you still doing stuff, or?

• 0:20Chris Ryan?

  Every once in a while. Like, I like to, you know, I'm really busy writing my memoirs right now, but The Watch is my primary podcast.

• 0:26Bill Simmons?

  What would your Substack be called? Brian Curtis launched one.

• 0:29Chris Ryan?

  It's like, instead of Roll the Calls, maybe Roll the Pods?

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Roll the Pods is good.

• 0:34Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Fuel the jet?

• 0:36Chris Ryan?

  I mean, Roll the Pods is good. I like that.

• 0:39Bill Simmons?

  Roll the Pods?

• 0:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Save it for the pods?

• 0:42Bill Simmons?

  Wouldn't it be Crank Daddy?

• 0:45Chris Ryan?

  I don't know if Crank Daddy would be the right URL I want on the internet.

• 0:49Bill Simmons?

  Good thought. So we did a horror movie last week. We did Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And now we're doing another one. Somehow, we've never done Friday the 13th, and it's next.

• 0:58Speaker 03

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• 1:58Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures' Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh, writer-director of The Banshees of Minnehoshan and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys, Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss Wild Horse 9, only in theaters November 6th. Get tickets now.

• 2:58Bill Simmons?

  So, Friday the 13th. It wouldn't be my first choice to do this out of the Friday the 13th franchises, but I felt like we had to. I felt like you have to tell the origin story, because really, where this is gonna lead to is Part 4 and Jason Takes Manhattan, which might be the funniest movie of the 80s.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  I told you. I think it's one of the funniest movies I've ever watched. Love the movie deeply.

• 3:21Bill Simmons?

  Weekend in Burden is Jason Takes Manhattan is just a rare list of comedies.

• 3:25Chris Ryan?

  This is one of those strange franchises that, to me, like, comes alive, obviously, in the second one. I think the second one almost stands in as like, let's redo the first one, but make the bad guy even better.

• 3:37Bill Simmons?

  With more money.

• 3:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and with a little bit more money. But I think it finds its legs at four, um, and-

• 3:43Bill Simmons?

  Four is downright good.

• 3:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, four is awesome. Four is-

• 3:47Bill Simmons?

  But we couldn't do four before we did one.

• 3:48Chris Ryan?

  Final chapter would have been tough. But I'm glad we're starting with the beginning, because I think you can see, it's cool to go back to 1980. I haven't watched this one in a while. But, um, yeah, I'm happy to be doing it. This is my favorite slasher franchise.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  It's unique, though, because Jason Voorhees isn't a mid-major when it comes to being a horror guy. He's a blue-blood. He's Duke, Kentucky. He's a true blue-blood when you're talking about that, and he's not in this movie. And like, it's almost like a prequel.

• 4:23Chris Ryan?

  Jason, as we know him, does not really appear until way into three.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Right. So if there was a different universe where Jason Voorhees is in the first one, this movie would be the movie that they would make coming back. Let me tell you the story of how.

• 4:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this should have been almost Part 4. We're going backwards.

• 4:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:40Bill Simmons?

  To the origin story with his mom. Wikipedia writes, "A group of teenage camp concerts are murdered one by one by an unknown killer while they attempt to reopen an abandoned summer camp with a tragic past." Fucking chef's kiss.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Go for it.

• 4:54Bill Simmons?

  Great premise.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  Let's just go, let's just go.

• 4:55Bill Simmons?

  If I was, if I was running a movie studio and somebody came in and just read that sentence, I'd be like, done. Here's a check.

• 5:02Chris Ryan?

  Well, the great thing about this franchise, to me, is that they were like, we just need to have one of these coming out, like, every year. Because it's, the title tells teens, it's time to go to the movies.

• 5:13Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 5:13Chris Ryan?

  It's time to go see some nudity and violence and get your rocks off. And it's such a dependable staple of the movie industry. I don't know that we really have it, something like this now.

• 5:24Bill Simmons?

  Well, we'll go into a lot of the Halloween rip-off stuff and how that was the origin of this, but Friday the 13th as a horror movie gimmick, also really smart.

• 5:33Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:34Bill Simmons?

  Because Halloween is like, oh, that's a day. It's a little creepy. That's, that could be a recurring thing. And then the guy Sean Cunningham, who created this whole thing, was like, Friday the 13th.

• 5:43Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  It, the 80s had this thing to where, 80s, late 70s, like, whatever, had this thing to where, okay, Halloween, Friday the 13th, going to sleep. All of these things that have like, this like, little eeriness associated with it. Let's take these situations and then put a bunch of dead teenagers, boom, you got yourself a franchise.

• 6:04Bill Simmons?

  Didn't work with some other versions of it.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  What was it, Prom Night?

• 6:07Bill Simmons?

  Prom Night, Happy Birthday to Me, Terror Train.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, there were a couple of them where they couldn't pay off the premise.

• 6:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  But, you know, the OGs, they seem like they pretty much got it done.

• 6:16Bill Simmons?

  Somehow, they never really unlocked Christmas. They tried all these different ways.

• 6:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I mean, uh, there's a good Christmas horror.

• 6:22Bill Simmons?

  There's been a lot of Christmas horror, but never a franchise.

• 6:25Chris Ryan?

  I love, I like Krampus. It's a fun one.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  I never saw that. I don't like horror at Christmas. Let's be with your family.

• 6:31Bill Simmons?

  Christmas is happy. It's pictures.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Having a good time. I do like that movie where Santa Claus goes John Wick and starts killing all of those people. What was that, Violent Night? I saw that a couple of years ago.

• 6:39Bill Simmons?

  Silent Night.

• 6:40Chris Ryan?

  That's, no, Silent Night is the horror. Violent, I think you're thinking of the David Harbour movie, right?

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So there's another one of those coming out. But I don't wanna be scary at Christmas with my family and my little nephews and shit like that. That's not fun.

• 6:52Bill Simmons?

  I have two different Friday the 13th stories. The first one is, I wasn't really allowed to go see these movies in the theater, because I was only 10. But the commercial ran, and you can watch it on YouTube.

• 7:02Chris Ryan?

  You were allowed to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre, weren't you?

• 7:04Bill Simmons?

  This is right around, 81 was when I was like, fuck it, you're taking me. But this comes out in May 80. My dad, I was like, we're going. You gotta go.

• 7:13Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 7:13Bill Simmons?

  Halloween was the first one.

• 7:15Chris Ryan?

  Child and divorce.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, cool.

• 7:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Say, uh, I'll pick mom.

• 7:21Bill Simmons?

  But-

• 7:21Speaker 01

  I'll pick mom.

• 7:22Bill Simmons?

  There was two commercials, spring, summer, 1980, that scared the fuck out of me. One was Friday the 13th, where they just show each murder. It was like, one, two, three, and they just rattle them off. You can watch it on YouTube. Thirty-second ad, and they show every dead person.

• 7:40Chris Ryan?

  Gives away the entire movie.

• 7:41Bill Simmons?

  It gives away the entire movie, and it was also scary. And it was one of those things, if I was watching TV at 10 o'clock at night, and it started, I was like, huh.

• 7:48Chris Ryan?

  Mmm.

• 7:49Bill Simmons?

  And then the other one was The Shining, which we talked about when we did The Shining, had a really scary 30-second ad. So anyway, I was scared of this movie from the, from the ad.

• 7:57Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 7:57Bill Simmons?

  The second story, I wasn't allowed to see it. My mom and my future stepdad went to see it in Stanford, Connecticut, and told me this story at the end, when Jason climbs out of the boat. They were in this movie theater. And when he climbed out of the boat, this guy in front of them stood up, screamed, "Get the fuck out," and started running out of the theater.

• 8:20Bill Simmons?

  And went up the aisle. So they told me this story, and I was like, how scary. So then, when I saw it, it wasn't as scary as-

• 8:27Chris Ryan?

  Oh, they ruined, they stepped on that last scene for you?

• 8:29Bill Simmons?

  They, they didn't tell me what it was, but they told me something happened that was so scary that this guy jumped in the air and ran up the aisle. And so that was how it got built up in my head.

• 8:38Chris Ryan?

  So 1980 horror?

• 8:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 8:40Chris Ryan?

  The Shining, Dressed to Kill, The Fog and Prom Night.

• 8:44Bill Simmons?

  Motel Hell.

• 8:46Chris Ryan?

  Terror Train, Motel Hell, New Year's Evil, Maniac.

• 8:50Chris Ryan?

  Funeral home.

• 8:52Bill Simmons?

  Dress to Kill doesn't count, but it counts.

• 8:54Chris Ryan?

  But do you have a sense that this is like this huge wave of horrors flooding?

• 8:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, cuz Dress to Kill and The Shining were the mainstream ones. So it was De Palma and Kubrick. But so those were covered and then Angie Dickinson had a body double in Dress to Kill. And that was like a big story about whether it was her naked or not. She's pretty famous. So you had those. Then you had the Friday the 13th. Oh, my God, is this gonna be a new trend now of young people getting killed in these movies cuz it did it did well. And I just remember eighty as like just a ton of horror, being scared.

• 9:24Chris Ryan?

  My earliest memories of this franchise, cuz it's franchise over movie, is that it was just a step above pornography, but was distributed in much the same way, you know? That it was.

• 9:36Bill Simmons?

  And the mafia probably had a stake in some of it.

• 9:38Chris Ryan?

  Exactly. Somebody's older sibling had to go rent it for you because like there were enough mom and pop video stores back then that they would be like, you can't, you're seven or 10 or whatever, you can't, you can't rent this. And then it would be like Sleepover, Fodder, like, you know, we're all gonna get together and watch Friday. I think the first one I probably saw was Three. But actually, what was the, no, it would probably be like.

• 10:04Bill Simmons?

  Three was the three day.

• 10:06Chris Ryan?

  It might have been later than that then, but like all of them were in circulation and I can't remember when I saw this one in particular cuz I think for the longest time I was like Friday the 13th is the Jason series.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, by the time I got to this actual movie, it was hard for me to appreciate it. Like, I saw this one. These movies have been MTV-ified by the time I came to them. By the time I was, I'm getting into Freddy, there was a 1900 number you could. Yeah, you, they, Will Smith did a Freddy song. Remember the Will Smith Freddy song? Nightmare on My Street and Will Smith.

• 10:41Bill Simmons?

  That song was bad.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  It was bad, but at the same time, when I thought it was awesome, Will Smith and Freddy is on the same record together.

• 10:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Will Smith featuring Freddy. So by the time I see this one.

• 10:52Bill Simmons?

  We should have known with Will Smith at that point.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Well, no, no, no, what?

• 10:56Bill Simmons?

  He was trying to tell us. Yeah, he was trying to tell us that someday, someday he'd slap Chris Rock at the Oscars. He was trying to tell us.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Record with Freddy, cool.

• 11:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  But like, by the time, by the time I saw this one, it almost felt like a pure version of the movie because Jason becomes this mindless, almost like supervillain, like Thanos, like who can't be killed.

• 11:20Bill Simmons?

  Well, he gets killed at the end of two and then he just comes back.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, the electrocuted, he comes back and the whole thing. But this one is like a real meat and potatoes, almost elevated horror movie.

• 11:32Bill Simmons?

  It's, it's actually, it's pretty patient. It's very, very true to the late seventies, early eighties. Like, yeah, I feel like Meatballs was as much of an influence on this as as Halloween.

• 11:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think Carrie and Meatballs were equally influential as Halloween is on this.

• 11:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and it's like camp concerts, the, the look, there's that specific late seventies, early eighties look. Like, the lead of this movie who plays Alice just has that Christie McNichol hair. It's almost like that helmet, part, big, I don't even know how to describe it. Like, no, nobody in the planet would have this. Who was the last person who had this haircut?

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Who went for it?

• 12:05Bill Simmons?

  Like, if Liz came home with this haircut, what would you do?

• 12:07Chris Ryan?

  She's out.

• 12:07Bill Simmons?

  She's out. Like, it's just immediate divorce.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Just get the fuck out. Like, why was he even?

• 12:11Bill Simmons?

  What, how did that haircut happen?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  No, what?

• 12:13Bill Simmons?

  Cuz the only people that had it were like people, like this actress in the movie and then like the little kid on it is enough.

• 12:19Chris Ryan?

  About these haircuts.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  I just don't understand what you're thinking. Y'all, I mean, I look at him now, I'm looking at her right now.

• 12:24Bill Simmons?

  Farrah.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  And she still looked like some of the baddest shit I've ever seen before in my life. As a matter of fact, it looks like she's looking at, it's hard to concentrate. Where did you put this?

• 12:33Bill Simmons?

  I moved it cuz we had to make room for Michael Myers.

• 12:35Chris Ryan?

  I don't think we have the right camera blocking.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Well, whatever, but she's looking at me right now and it's hard to, I, I like that type of shit. These are the types of white women that when it was around Dallas era, that's what it was really about.

• 12:46Bill Simmons?

  Principal. Yeah, so we had that going and, and, you know, Charlie's Angels and that whole look. And then we had this other like weird bow cut. I, I.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  But you know what these movies would do though that was interesting? Like, these films are almost like little commentaries on teenage innocence. And obviously, there's, there's a big trope here, but the kids here, they look like young and impressionable, but there's always something that they're doing that's a little bit off. So they're playing Monopoly, which it would be a bummer if someone killed up a bunch of kids while they were playing Monopoly, they're being like young or whatever, but these kids are playing strip Monopoly.

• 13:26Chris Ryan?

  And smoking, smoking weed.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Smoking a little grass.

• 13:29Bill Simmons?

  So now they deserve it.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And they're having premarital sex.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Right, but they still.

• 13:32Bill Simmons?

  They gotta go.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  They look so young, like the, the one earlier in the movie, she's hitchhiking. What's she doing? It's like, stop, this is dangerous.

• 13:39Chris Ryan?

  I was always trying to interpret like that trope because I think for people who are probably around the age of the people in this movie, when you go see that movie, you're kinda like, yeah, that's what like teenagers and young people do is smoke a little grass and fuck.

• 13:53Bill Simmons?

  And hook up with each other.

• 13:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. But like when you're older.

• 13:56Bill Simmons?

  I don't know about strip Monopoly.

• 13:57Chris Ryan?

  And you're, and you're just getting into like Reagan America and like rebuilding this morality about like the, the country. That's scandalizing. And there's probably a part of a, maybe like a conservative audience watching it that thinks they're get, kinda getting what they deserve in some ways cuz they're being immoral.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Without a doubt.

• 14:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Like, your killer, even Freddy, this is the last time I mentioned Freddy, their parents burned him alive.

• 14:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  And so his revenge, his vengeance on this entire group of people is cuz of some fucked up shit that happened. Now Freddy was a bad guy, but.

• 14:33Bill Simmons?

  Not a great guy.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Not a good dude. But like, in the lore of the story, there's almost like a reason for this.

• 14:41Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:43Bill Simmons?

  So this movie, did you, you hadn't seen it before?

• 14:47Chris Ryan?

  I've never seen any of them and I didn't, other than Jason being a famous character, I didn't know anything about them.

• 14:51Bill Simmons?

  Were you like, I was promised Jason?

• 14:53Chris Ryan?

  Yes, I was.

• 14:54Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 14:57Bill Simmons?

  It's quite a swerve.

• 14:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:59Bill Simmons?

  But this turned into, it, he became, it's Freddy, Jason and Myers are the big three, right? Is there a fourth?

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Pinhead?

• 15:09Chris Ryan?

  Pinhead's in the mix.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Pinhead's in the mix.

• 15:11Bill Simmons?

  I think those are the big three. If we're doing Mount Rushmore, I don't, I think it's, you're really forcing it with the fourth.

• 15:16Chris Ryan?

  Interesting. What about It?

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, if you're doing a Mount Rushmore.

• 15:19Bill Simmons?

  There's only two It's though.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  If, if they do a Mount Rushmore, there has to be a fourth.

• 15:23Bill Simmons?

  Right, so that it kinda has to be Chucky.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  You're forcing it.

• 15:26Bill Simmons?

  I just feel like Chucky's a force.

• 15:27Chris Ryan?

  Probably, I mean, I, I had a lot of Shocker was kinda like my, uh, my Jamarcus Russell. Like, I had a lot of high hopes for him coming out of school.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Thank you for that.

• 15:37Chris Ryan?

  Do you remember Shocker?

• 15:38Bill Simmons?

  I remember Shocker. I feel like if you have to make the case really strongly, it's probably not Mount Rushmore.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  Oh, hold on, it's, it's.

• 15:44Bill Simmons?

  Cuz the first three are like.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Leatherhead.

• 15:46Chris Ryan?

  It was just eighties.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Oh, this is just eighties?

• 15:48Chris Ryan?

  I don't know.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Leatherhead gets no love here. He's like the one of the founding.

• 15:52Bill Simmons?

  Leatherface.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Leatherhead.

• 15:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 15:54Bill Simmons?

  Leatherface is for it.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, Leatherface is for it.

• 15:57Chris Ryan?

  I think he, cuz he really has a strong two movie run. And then goes through, uh, goes through like a, you know, like a long period of dormancy or at least like.

• 16:07Bill Simmons?

  So Leatherface, Myers, Kruger, Jason.

• 16:11Chris Ryan?

  I like it.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Myers, Kruger, Jason. The only thing about Leatherface that takes him away is they keep trying to get it restarted and it's hard to get the people back interested in Leatherface. Leatherface didn't endure like some of these other guys.

• 16:22Chris Ryan?

  They also, I mean, I don't think that they ever unlocked like what's, what's Leatherface's trauma, you know? The way they do with Jason being bullied or Freddy being.

• 16:31Bill Simmons?

  You know what? He was just the guy that liked to be at his own house. Don't come in.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Leave me the fuck alone.

• 16:36Bill Simmons?

  He doesn't want company.

• 16:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he's an introvert.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Who, who are the pretenders though? Who are the, who's the next class? So then the next class would be.

• 16:42Chris Ryan?

  Just eighties?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Well, no, just period. Who the next class would be the fucking leprechaun?

• 16:47Chris Ryan?

  Well, it's Ghostface from Scream.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Ghostface from Scream.

• 16:49Chris Ryan?

  He's not a single person.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Ghostface is actually, shout out to Ghostface, the rapper. You could argue that Ghostface is actually above.

• 16:59Chris Ryan?

  But it's always a different person.

• 17:00Bill Simmons?

  I see. I feel like Ghostface and the I Know What You Did Last Summer guy and that, those are all the second generation of these movies.

• 17:07Chris Ryan?

  Hannibal Lecter, Pennywise.

• 17:09Bill Simmons?

  Pennywise might be up there.

• 17:10Chris Ryan?

  Pennywise is intriguing, but it was a TV movie, yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, Pennywise is fucking frightening. He's very frightening.

• 17:18Bill Simmons?

  You know what else is frightening? How long It 2 was. I don't, I think that movie's still going. I took part in the screening. It was like four and a half hours long.

• 17:28Bill Simmons?

  Well, we could talk about Jason in a second. We have to talk about how this was the most unabashed ripoff movie probably of all time. The producer Sean Cunningham saw Halloween was successful, came up with this idea, put an ad in Variety in the next summer saying, hey, I'm gonna make this movie called Friday the 13th. Does anyone wanna fund it? And it was basically like, yeah, we're ripping off Halloween. We're gonna try to make one a year. There's a new killer. Got an ad agency to do it. It was basically Halloween crossed with meatballs. Ends up getting the money, ends up making it. And the whole time is like, yeah, we're ripping off Halloween.

• 18:03Chris Ryan?

  He probably, like, if he was around today, would just be like a tech entrepreneur, but that is a badass story. That is such a crazy bet on yourself story where it's like, I'm gonna go to the trades and take out an ad for a non-existent movie and see if it creates enough buzz.

• 18:16Bill Simmons?

  He gets credit, I think, for realizing the repeatability of the gimmick, right? He comes out of Halloween, sees how successful it is, and he's like, I gotta come up with my own version of this, and I'm just gonna keep making them, and they're gonna come out every year.

• 18:30Chris Ryan?

  Such an interesting sliding door after both Halloween and this, where both of the people who directed these movies, and I think some of the people behind, like, making them, were like, there's no sequel. Like, Michael died at the end, you know, Jason is a figment of people's imaginations, like, it's over. And what they had thought was maybe we could make this like an anthology where like, it's just something else scary happening on this date, on Halloween or on Friday the 13th. But they happened into this Jason thing and revived it just the same way they just kept pushing.

• 19:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, you know why? Cause three was when Jason, I saw two in the theater. I made my dad go. He was so mad. Cleveland Circle, we saw that one. But three, I saw in Connecticut, 3D. During this brief window when people thought 3D was gonna happen. Movie, the movie was, it was badass. People were rooting for Jason. It was a weird sensation.

• 19:25Chris Ryan?

  It's the, it's the one that they cast with people where you're like, I can't wait.

• 19:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was like, fucking go get this lady, Jason.

• 19:31Chris Ryan?

  Biker gang in that movie, yeah.

• 19:32Bill Simmons?

  They put intentionally horrible people in there, and they just wanted the audience to have Jason wanna kill them.

• 19:37Chris Ryan?

  I don't like, like, don't touch a hair on these people's heads in two. I like the people in two.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  Also, like, some of this stuff has to do just with the necessity to keep these movies going. Like, the films are successful. So what can you do if you're not gonna do the anthology thing, which is what they wanted to do? What do you, what can you do to keep people coming back? The easiest thing to do is to put somebody at the center of the movie that is unkillable and magnetic and really, really scary, so people will keep coming back.

• 20:09Bill Simmons?

  So how would you compare and contrast with NBA? Like, having your, having your star player who's introduced last. And you just, you kinda need that, or you don't feel like a real NBA franchise?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:19Bill Simmons?

  You need your guy, you need your Cade Cunningham, your Tatum, whoever. And that's what the horror movies, if you don't have that guy and it becomes amorphous, I think it's really hard to have a franchise.

• 20:28Chris Ryan?

  The Hornets.

• 20:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Screen kinda figured it out where they would have a different villain every time, but there's some sort of connective tissue. The mask, and then there's always something tied to Sydney.

• 20:38Chris Ryan?

  There was also the meta quality of those first grip of screen movies where it was like, there, there was all this like reflex of like, we're watching the stab trailers and stuff like that, so.

• 20:48Bill Simmons?

  I mean, those movies are so much smarter than these movies, but this movie is like,

• 20:53Bill Simmons?

  this is a what would happen if movie. So I'm just gonna work at this camp, campsite for the summer with these other counselors. What would happen if the fucking generator gets turned off? And, you know, Bill goes to the bathroom and doesn't come back, and now I'm in this cabin and there's no lights.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Everybody was a fucking moron.

• 21:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and everybody was as stupid as possible.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:14Bill Simmons?

  So, he sells this for 1.5 million after it cost like 600K. Paramount buys it and does this huge marketing campaign. They did the one sheet, they did that 32nd commercial, and they're just going for kids and te, kids to sneak into the movie, teenagers and young adults, and it works. And we end up with 10 sequels.

• 21:36Chris Ryan?

  They knew, like, they were like, people are gonna go insane when they see this.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  At some point, wasn't there a bidding war?

• 21:42Bill Simmons?

  There's a bidding war?

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:44Bill Simmons?

  The movie made almost 60 million dollars.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Nuts.

• 21:46Bill Simmons?

  It was 1980's 18th biggest movie, and it cost nothing to make, and it had a bunch of actors we've basically never seen again.

• 21:53Chris Ryan?

  Yes, which allows you then to kill them all off. Nobody's going into it and being like, well, you can't kill Deborah Winger. You know, like, she has, she's gonna live.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Cause they wanted Sally Field, and they could not get her, which forced them, once again, necessity into casting unknowns, which means you can kill them in more violent and grandiose ways, which is what the crowd wants anyway.

• 22:14Chris Ryan?

  And you don't know what's coming. When there's a star, you know they're gonna be the last one. In a movie like this, you have no idea who's gonna live, who's not, who's gonna be the last one.

• 22:21Bill Simmons?

  You think the last one's gonna be the first one, the hitchhiker?

• 22:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:24Bill Simmons?

  It's like, she's cute, they're not gonna kill her. They fucking take her out.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  She's one of the ones. Every time I'll go back and look at it, I'm like, yeah, look at her.

• 22:32Bill Simmons?

  I have some thoughts on this.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  I like her.

• 22:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I do like her.

• 22:35Chris Ryan?

  She has a little Karen Allen to her.

• 22:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  A little Karen Allen.

• 22:37Bill Simmons?

  A lot of Karen Allen.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Little star man.

• 22:39Bill Simmons?

  So before we get into the movie, your favorite is still Freddy.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, of those guys without a doubt. Freddy has the most personality, Freddy's the most powerful, Freddy's the scariest to me.

• 22:50Bill Simmons?

  So I'm a Myers guy, and Sierra's a Jason guy.

• 22:52Chris Ryan?

  Big J, yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  Big J.

• 22:54Bill Simmons?

  It's weird that we have three different ones. So why are you a Jason guy ultimately?

• 22:58Chris Ryan?

  I think it's the, especially the settings, uh, I really like love the repeatability of like, year after year, these idiots go back to this place that is referred to as Camp Blood, that has no law enforcement.

• 23:12Bill Simmons?

  It's gonna be fun.

• 23:13Chris Ryan?

  Is mythologically damned to hell, and they're just like, nah, we're gonna open up a, like, a teaching school for counselors, or I'm gonna rent this one out, and like, we're gonna party next to these kids in four, and it's like, this is just hell on earth. You guys keep coming up here and keep dying. But I love, I love how the, the first hour of these movies always feels. It just, just like, you get lulled into this sense of like, ah, this is so nice.

• 23:38Bill Simmons?

  That's nice and peaceful.

• 23:39Chris Ryan?

  Look at her, she's just gonna take a skinny dip. And then, and then all hell breaks loose. And then I kind of enjoy the challenge of trying to piece together the narrative once they're like, actually, Jason is this, and Tommy Jarvis does that, and Tina does this. It's, it's, it's entertaining.

• 23:58Bill Simmons?

  It's pretty good.

• 23:59Chris Ryan?

  I think it has the most good movies of these franchises, but I would say Halloween's heights and Texas Chainsaw's heights are way higher. I think he, I think he has Freddy in it.

• 24:10Bill Simmons?

  Interesting. I like one, two, four.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Freddy in a headlock? Get outta here.

• 24:14Bill Simmons?

  One, two, four, and H2O for Halloween.

• 24:17Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 24:18Bill Simmons?

  And then I think the first remake that Blumhouse did, so probably five.

• 24:21Chris Ryan?

  I like.

• 24:22Bill Simmons?

  So you think there's more than five 13ths?

• 24:24Chris Ryan?

  I like one, two, three, and H2O of Halloween. I enjoy talking about other Halloween movies.

• 24:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 24:33Chris Ryan?

  And I, I have mixed feelings about the Blumhouse ones.

• 24:36Bill Simmons?

  Four's gonna jump out and fucking jump on you in a second.

• 24:38Chris Ryan?

  This is one of my favorite pods we've done.

• 24:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  That was awesome.

• 24:42Bill Simmons?

  So 13th, the first four, and then Manhattan's amazing.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, Manhattan.

• 24:48Bill Simmons?

  I think those are the five.

• 24:49Chris Ryan?

  I like lives.

• 24:50Bill Simmons?

  I get Manhattan.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  When you, when you.

• 24:52Bill Simmons?

  I can't wait to do Manhattan.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  First reached out, I thought we were gonna do Manhattan, and Manhattan is just absurdly blissfully perfect. That, I remember that was one of the.

• 25:02Bill Simmons?

  We're going to the sewers.

• 25:03Chris Ryan?

  Well, we were talking about this being the first combo rewatchables, where we would do multiple.

• 25:08Bill Simmons?

  Where we did one and two together. We might be able to do two and three together, just team them up.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Bill Simmons?

  Ebert, no written review.

• 25:16Chris Ryan?

  Oh, my god, dude.

• 25:16Bill Simmons?

  But he really, really, truly hated this movie, and they crushed it on the TV show, called an exploitation movie.

• 25:22Chris Ryan?

  Fucking pissed on this.

• 25:24Bill Simmons?

  They berated it. They were saying how this was training audiences to root for the killer. Everything they said was 100% true. Siskel, when he wrote about it, he hated it so much that he intentionally gave away the ending in the second paragraph.

• 25:37Chris Ryan?

  Doesn't he also like?

• 25:38Bill Simmons?

  He was like, Jason's mom did it.

• 25:40Chris Ryan?

  Doesn't he?

• 25:41Bill Simmons?

  I don't want you to see this movie, so that's what, how this ends.

• 25:44Chris Ryan?

  Wasn't he like, and also write letters to the screenwriter who lives in this town or something like that?

• 25:48Bill Simmons?

  He gave the Paramount, uh, address so people could send letters to try to stop it. And then he said that Betsy Palmer plays Jason's mom. He's like, I won't give you her address, but let's just say she lives in row eight and tough. Put this in his written review.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  But as a part of these movies, as they come out, there's a permission structure to kill teenagers in the, the goriest ways. Like, the reason why this movie can come off of Halloween is because, oh, okay, cool, well, like, Halloween, a bunch of teenagers get killed, whatever, so we're gonna kill teenagers, except what we're gonna do is kill them in all types of different gory ways. So you could see, particularly at a time where the moral majority is starting to gain steam and all of that stuff, how there would be like a visceral response.

• 26:34Chris Ryan?

  But Siskel and Ebert were exactly like conservative Republicans.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  I know, but what I'm saying is, still though.

• 26:39Bill Simmons?

  And Ebert liked Chainsaw.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  I know, but like, this one right here is, for all, I love the movie, but I've grown to love it, but it's gratuitous. It's like, it's, it's a.

• 26:51Bill Simmons?

  The whole decade is gratuitous.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 26:53Bill Simmons?

  But I think they saw the future, yeah.

• 26:55Chris Ryan?

  Yes. You see, cause there's a, an amazing compilation on YouTube of all of their Friday the 13th reviews across the franchise.

• 27:02Bill Simmons?

  I watched it.

• 27:03Chris Ryan?

  And it's just two guys with their dicks increasingly caught in zippers.

• 27:07Bill Simmons?

  By the time they get to part four, they're so fucking mad.

• 27:11Chris Ryan?

  Like, both, I can't believe this is what my job is, but also just like this apoplectic anger that this is what young people are watching.

• 27:19Bill Simmons?

  It's the equivalent of like in 2013, if Zach Lowe had decided three pointers were gonna ruin the NBA and was just killing Steph Curry. And was like, this, he shot 13 today, this is going to bastards.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  What's happening to my game?

• 27:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's what Ebert, that's what they were like, but they weren't wrong.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Jackson was right.

• 27:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they just fucking hated this.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Mark Jackson was right.

• 27:40Bill Simmons?

  So it's interesting, 13th, Fred 13th, the, the motive is these camp counselors fucked up, and this kid drowned.

• 27:50Chris Ryan?

  But they fucked up like thirty years ago.

• 27:53Bill Simmons?

  So now it's all camp counselor's fault going forward that this happened. Halloween, it's just the lights are on and nobody's home with this dude. He's just purely and simply evil. You look into his eyes, it's the devil's eyes, the darkest eyes, and that's the premise of that. And then Freddy is.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Freddy was a child molester who was on trial for it, beat it. Parents got together and either he beat it or he was going to be, the parents got together, burned him alive. And so he made a deal with a dream demon to haunt their children, their progeny in perpetuity and killed them.

• 28:28Bill Simmons?

  So I would argue Freddy probably the, the worst of the three to empathize with as the killer.

• 28:34Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I, I think, I think LF is really hard in Texas, you know? It's just, I know that you, you're probably somebody who wants his own privacy and doesn't want people unexpectedly showing up.

• 28:45Bill Simmons?

  It's a private guy.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  What are you doing? What are you messing around?

• 28:48Bill Simmons?

  That was my hottest take for Chainsaw, like, don't go into the guy's house.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  By the way.

• 28:52Bill Simmons?

  He's not bothering you.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  By the way, he lives in the middle of nowhere.

• 28:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  So if you're him, you're thinking, what are you doing here? You must mean me harm.

• 28:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're gonna get the hammer right in the forehead.

• 29:04Bill Simmons?

  We're gonna take a break, come back and hit the movie. This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios Whale Fall in theaters this Friday. Based on the acclaimed book by Pulitzer Prize winner Daniel Kraus. It tells the tale of a diver fighting for his life after being swallowed, you guessed it, by a whale. Experience the ultimate survival story that's unlike any movie you've ever seen before. Don't miss Whale Fall in theaters this Friday. This episode is brought to you by Quince. Finding a decent piece of clothing can be a lot harder than finding a decent movie, but that was before Quince. Quince has staple pieces made from premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere. And everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

• 29:49Bill Simmons?

  It's the perfect place to start building a cozy fall outfit without any absurd markups. For instance, I love a good vest. They have a lightweight down, packable puffer vest, which is an easy fall layer, although nobody loves layers more than Chris Ryan. You can throw it over a sweater, long sleeve, whenever you want to make an outfit feel a little more seasonal, simple, classic. One of those pieces that works with pretty much everything that's already in your closet. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order, 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it's a rewatchables podcast. They would appreciate that. It's the best way to support the show.

• 30:34Bill Simmons?

  Most rewatchable scene, um, the opening scene set in 1958. Every time they do scenes like this, you just think like, how much it must've sucked to live in, in the late 50s where it's like, let's get a guitar. And sing terrible songs.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Wait, they're singing like a Bible song.

• 30:51Chris Ryan?

  They're singing Michael Row the, Row the Boat to Shore, sure, yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Getting them hot and horny.

• 30:54Bill Simmons?

  Michael Row the Boat to Shore, it's like, one more time. Who wants some more spritzer?

• 31:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Bill Simmons?

  But then, uh, then the mom, turns out it's Jason's mom, not a huge fan.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:08Bill Simmons?

  Ends up taking him down. We don't get the sex scene, Ben.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  Nah, it's got, it always is like a little meat left on the bone there in a real way.

• 31:15Bill Simmons?

  Literally.

• 31:15Chris Ryan?

  Fifty-eight, that seems like maybe if they're singing that song, it's maybe a Bible camp.

• 31:20Bill Simmons?

  A religious camp.

• 31:20Chris Ryan?

  So maybe he's only hoping a little bit of over the shirt stuff there.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, just like rub on it a little bit. Yeah, just see what we can do.

• 31:27Bill Simmons?

  Maybe sneak a dry humping.

• 31:28Chris Ryan?

  OTP, maybe?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. TP, what's TP?

• 31:31Chris Ryan?

  Over the pants, OTP.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  Over the pants?

• 31:34Chris Ryan?

  A little OTPHJ, you never heard of that?

• 31:36Speaker 01

  OTPHJ, no, this doesn't.

• 31:40Chris Ryan?

  You don't know that? OTPHJ.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  No, where I'm from, we just go, we graduate straight to the fuck.

• 31:44Bill Simmons?

  OTPHJ.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  OTPHJ, so you mean to tell me you come from such a putrid culture?

• 31:49Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  And you guys are getting over the pants handjobs?

• 31:53Chris Ryan?

  But you know what? I do think we could get OTPHJ into the rewatchables now.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 31:58Chris Ryan?

  Where it's like Dead of Thieves 2, kind of an OTPHJ.

• 32:04Chris Ryan?

  Without Pablo in 50, just kind of.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  You know, Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers, OTPHJ.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  OTPHJ, okay.

• 32:14Bill Simmons?

  Dry humping, different, different category.

• 32:16Chris Ryan?

  Different category, way different.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. We had girls pregnant in the eighth grade in Baton Rouge, so it was different.

• 32:23Bill Simmons?

  Annie's car ride to Camp Blood.

• 32:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, the journey to Crystal Lake, yeah.

• 32:26Bill Simmons?

  And the guy tells her, quit.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 32:30Bill Simmons?

  Get out.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 32:32Bill Simmons?

  It's Camp Blood, get the fuck out.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:34Bill Simmons?

  Always a good scene in a horror movie like this, where you have somebody who lives in the town, who peacefully coexists with where the evil is. And they're just like, just.

• 32:43Chris Ryan?

  Talking about Ralph?

• 32:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Crazy Ralph, yeah.

• 32:45Bill Simmons?

  No, not Crazy Ralph, the guy who gives her the ride.

• 32:47Chris Ryan?

  The truck driver.

• 32:47Bill Simmons?

  Truck driver guy.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Who grabs her ass when she's getting in the truck.

• 32:50Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  A freaky creep, you know what I mean? You know what's funny is like, this is always interesting to me. Let's say, cause I left Sycamore to come here. Let's say when I left Sycamore.

• 33:02Bill Simmons?

  That's our office.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Shout out to Sycamore. Let's say if I was getting into my car, somebody went, you're not going to Simmons' house, are you?

• 33:12Speaker 01

  Simmons' house is where people go to die. I would not be at this bitch right now. Hey, bro, I don't know what the fuck you got going on over there.

• 33:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Some dude just walked up to me, he had a Celtic shirt on. He said that Simmons' house is where you go to die, so I could do this from home, but I'm not coming over. You gotta figure that shit out.

• 33:30Bill Simmons?

  You're going to Camp Blood?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  She going to a, like a camp in the middle of the fucking nowhere woods. Where a whole diner is telling her.

• 33:40Chris Ryan?

  Don't do it.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Don't do it.

• 33:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 33:42Bill Simmons?

  Also, take a left at the cemetery?

• 33:44Speaker 01

  What the fuck is happening?

• 33:45Bill Simmons?

  That's another red flag.

• 33:46Chris Ryan?

  It's a nice scene setter though, for like the, it's a little snapshot of late 70s, 1980 America of kids just kind of being like, I'm doing my own thing.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  Do you think the butt grab was on purpose or did that just happen in the scene and the director was like, all right, we'll use that take?

• 33:58Chris Ryan?

  I think it was.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  That was directed.

• 34:00Chris Ryan?

  Maybe like how like they're getting objectified left, right and center anyway. And like, that's just like the time.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  I did get nervous because I was like, oh, this is like the Texas Chainsaw Guy all over again.

• 34:10Chris Ryan?

  Oh, right.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Is this man involved?

• 34:11Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 34:14Bill Simmons?

  I see the settings in the movies like this from like 77, 76 to like 80. You know, it's pre everything, it's pre cable and it just.

• 34:23Chris Ryan?

  Pre maps, like digital maps.

• 34:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it just seems like, life seems so simple.

• 34:27Chris Ryan?

  And terrifying.

• 34:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. People, you just hitchhike, just like, can you give me a ride? You're, you're a little nervous, but not totally, but deep down you are a little nervous, you're just going with it.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  I think about this like the trade offs, right? You know, we, I've talked about this before, like the trade offs were, we were always together. Like you couldn't have a digital relationship with someone.

• 34:47Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  You, we were always together. The trade off for that was, in the neighborhood, every once in a while, we lost a kid.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  The trade off for everybody, for there to be no digital overlord.

• 34:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Every once in a while, we lost a kid. It was a deal to where, people don't remember, you pick up a milk carton on the back, kid, gone. Done, kid, have you seen the kid?

• 35:09Bill Simmons?

  Or the story about, we had this in, when I lived in Massachusetts, the, the house that gave the candy apple with the razor. I don't even know if it was actually true or not, but we all knew the house and we all thought it happened and that's just the way it went.

• 35:22Chris Ryan?

  There is, I mean, it's funny that this is the, like Friday 13th is the opposite. She's almost like enticed more to go to the camp when she hears the bullshit about Camp Blood. We had urban myths in Philly, like the Taney Park gang. It was like, nobody went within 10 blocks of Taney Park because that.

• 35:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 35:38Chris Ryan?

  I don't even think it really existed, or if it did, it was like one kid got his bike stolen once there. But it was like, that stuff scared people off like in a huge way. So the idea of being like, ah, Camp Blood, I'm sure it's fine.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Also though, like with this, with this character dying, uh, it is an interesting thing to get the killing started with somebody that's not integral to the main narrative.

• 36:02Bill Simmons?

  It's in the blood though.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Like, yeah, this is how serious this is, that the lady just goes, okay, you're here, you're get, you're dead. The moment that that happens, you know how much danger all of the other people that you're gonna have to meet are in.

• 36:16Chris Ryan?

  People talk about how, uh, TV shows and movies now have to slam some set piece or action scene or murder or whatever into the first five minutes of the show or movie you're watching to grab people's attention. But I think that's kind of why they did this here in 1980, because the sequels, especially two and three, open with the last 10 minutes of the previous movie to get a kill in. Cause the rest, like the next 40 minutes are basically kids hanging out.

• 36:43Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 36:43Chris Ryan?

  And that would have been what this movie was if we don't get Annie, Annie got here. It's just like kids hanging around, nailing and stuff and.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  And even leading up to that, the tension, you know she's in danger.

• 36:54Chris Ryan?

  Of course.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  They're also giving you some exposition about how dangerous things are, how the town regards the place. That's all good story stuff that just gets to a pretty graphic death of her throat being cut like right there.

• 37:10Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's the second hitchhiking, so you think she gets away from the first guy, so she's all right.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:15Bill Simmons?

  Then the next person, who she seems very comfortable with, and then, I always like when it's like, wasn't that the sign back there? And the car just keeps going.

• 37:23Chris Ryan?

  So when you saw one, you didn't, did you know that it was Jay's mom was the, um, villain?

• 37:32Bill Simmons?

  So I never saw one, I saw two.

• 37:34Chris Ryan?

  First.

• 37:34Bill Simmons?

  Two was the first one I ever saw, but two tells you what happened in one, so it was fine.

• 37:39Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 37:41Bill Simmons?

  Pretty good, uh, it's, it's interesting, in the theater, that, that's such a zag that it's the mom. But now that we know this for 45 years, you kind of take it for granted.

• 37:51Chris Ryan?

  Well, it also makes total sense because everybody greets the killer from the POV of the killer, they greet them.

• 37:57Bill Simmons?

  They're like, hey.

• 37:58Chris Ryan?

  Oh, hey, what are you doing out here?

• 37:59Bill Simmons?

  Whereas if it had been Waterlog Corpse Jason, probably not.

• 38:03Chris Ryan?

  You would have been fucking.

• 38:04Bill Simmons?

  Probably not driving that.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  And after a while, it became the stuff of legend, because Jason becomes such a legendary character that like, you're in middle school and there's some fucking film bro kid that goes in the first movie, it's actually fucking not Jason, it's Jason's mom.

• 38:17Chris Ryan?

  You're film bros?

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Oh, dog, we, we had him, bro. We had him even then, don't get me started, man.

• 38:23Bill Simmons?

  Annie's hitchhiking, that's the next one. Uh, we get Jack and Marcy buying it, Jack is Kevin Bacon's character. Couple good deaths, I always liked the through the bed death is always a good one.

• 38:35Chris Ryan?

  Arrow.

• 38:36Bill Simmons?

  Um, which I think they filmed, they had him just put his head over the thing with his body and then they put the fake bodies so they could ram it through.

• 38:43Chris Ryan?

  In Texas Chainsaw, I ranked the, the deaths I would most want to have, I think Jack died pretty happy.

• 38:48Bill Simmons?

  Just gone in a second.

• 38:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, true. And just ticking a hit.

• 38:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 38:53Chris Ryan?

  Everything is going right for him, arrow through the throat, dead. Like, as long as it's a quick death, I think you're probably like, that's about as happy as a guy can get.

• 39:02Bill Simmons?

  Where would you go on the net, on Marcy getting the axe to the forehead?

• 39:05Chris Ryan?

  That's a, that's a disappointing one because she saw it coming.

• 39:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 39:08Chris Ryan?

  The last thing she sees is like the scariest thing in the world.

• 39:13Bill Simmons?

  I always, sometimes they have reactions in these horror movies when they realize they're about to be killed and they go.

• 39:20Bill Simmons?

  And then they just get an axe. I just don't feel like that would be my, like, wouldn't you be like, trying to figure out how to fight back?

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, that's, this is the thing with Jason's mom.

• 39:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Alice, Alice starts like, just gives her a little kick in the shins and is like, I got her.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  Alice seemed to be the only one that was up to the challenge, cause like Jason's mom is one of the greatest.

• 39:40Bill Simmons?

  Sexually frustrated.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's one of the greatest female athletes we've ever seen.

• 39:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Number one, she's been killing since 58.

• 39:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  She's like, essentially Derrick Henry. She's, she continues to age and get better at killing over time. She's a versatile killer.

• 39:54Chris Ryan?

  She's essentially Derrick Henry.

• 39:56Bill Simmons?

  I had stuff about this in my notes as well.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  He can still run.

• 39:59Bill Simmons?

  She throws a body through the window? That's fucking hard.

• 40:01Chris Ryan?

  Uh, it's not just hard, it's horseshit.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Right, so she, so she, she's versatile, she's deadly, and then also.

• 40:08Bill Simmons?

  Doesn't get blood on her, she's got a nice clean blue sweater.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  She also got some mental game to her, cause by the time we get to the end, she's like, you know, I've killed enough, now it's time for me to get my shit off. I'm gonna let you know.

• 40:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Why this is happening.

• 40:21Bill Simmons?

  She's doing a podcast.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 40:22Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 40:24Bill Simmons?

  She's like, here are the reasons.

• 40:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Jason, I'm telling her the reasons.

• 40:30Bill Simmons?

  That's always a good gimmick too, when the killer starts talking to somebody. Cruising had that.

• 40:34Chris Ryan?

  And Matt Bellin, he's like, so you think that's a good enough reason to kill six people?

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Look at you, you don't know how to react.

• 40:45Chris Ryan?

  We did this for Texas, Matt's becoming a character.

• 40:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Matt is.

• 40:51Chris Ryan?

  Matt and Ari Emanuel are making their way into this pod.

• 40:54Bill Simmons?

  That's. So your son dies, that gives you the excuse to kill 20 county councilors.

• 40:59Chris Ryan?

  I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to understand. Trying to understand, yeah.

• 41:02Bill Simmons?

  So one death equals 20, it's just, it's okay.

• 41:06Bill Simmons?

  We get, uh, Alice finds Bill and the rest of the bodies. Tough one for Bill with the arrow through the eyeball.

• 41:13Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:13Bill Simmons?

  There's some good research on that, yeah. She does a really good barricade job, Alice.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:20Bill Simmons?

  Cause sometimes in these, in these horror movies, sometimes they just put like the chair in front of the door. She's like fucking Minecraft Mike Tomlin, just like building a whole village.

• 41:32Bill Simmons?

  Trying to stop it. Gets the body through the window anyway. And then two more scenes, Jason's mom shows up. They were making love while the young boy drowned.

• 41:44Bill Simmons?

  Chases her through the woods, killer mommy, killer, killer mommy. And then Betsy Palmer, she loses this UFC fight, I think it's like a 50 to 45 scorecard.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, it's tough.

• 41:58Bill Simmons?

  The, the, Alice just kicks her ass.

• 42:00Chris Ryan?

  Do you think Alice?

• 42:01Bill Simmons?

  Over and over again.

• 42:01Chris Ryan?

  Was like waiting for her to come up on her in the canoe, or do you think it was like a surprise to her when, when Pamela shows up?

• 42:08Bill Simmons?

  I mean, again, they don't know 46 years later, we're gonna be breaking this down.

• 42:12Chris Ryan?

  I'm sure.

• 42:13Bill Simmons?

  But, um, I, I don't know why she thought,

• 42:18Bill Simmons?

  Jason's mom was just, I don't know, it seemed like she thought she was dead or unconscious.

• 42:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Bill Simmons?

  Just kinda wandered away, and then I'm gonna sit with my back.

• 42:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 42:27Bill Simmons?

  To the house, just very strange choices.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, just a trope, and that's why, you know, later on they play with the trope, it's like, what you're supposed to do is incinerate the killer down to the very last atom, to make sure that they are gone, but.

• 42:40Bill Simmons?

  Couple curb stomps at least.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you wanna see like teeth coming out of their mouth. Yeah.

• 42:46Chris Ryan?

  There's no curb.

• 42:47Bill Simmons?

  You want them to be like, they're now disfigured at least, before I walk away to try to get cops.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  They're a bloody mess, the whole nine.

• 42:54Bill Simmons?

  I mean, the worst ever was Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween one, she fucking drops the knife next to him.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. Idiot. But like Alice continuously, to your point, like a UFC fight, she does enough to get out of the round.

• 43:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Like it, the round is going back and forth.

• 43:10Bill Simmons?

  Jason's mom keeps trying to get takedowns, can't get them.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Can't get the, kick you in, kicks her in the vagina.

• 43:15Chris Ryan?

  It's a, it's a lot of shin and, and, and box kicking, yeah.

• 43:19Bill Simmons?

  Nails her with a frying pan at one point.

• 43:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Bill Simmons?

  Good slow motion decapitation, also a Friday the 13th thing where at the end, it's like the slow mo of the, of somebody.

• 43:30Chris Ryan?

  His machete, here I come.

• 43:31Bill Simmons?

  And it's got that music of her.

• 43:35Bill Simmons?

  As she goes, and then, um,

• 43:38Bill Simmons?

  the second ending.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  Boat canoe, canoe, like talking, like canoe.

• 43:44Chris Ryan?

  It's scary. One of the scariest things I've ever seen when I first saw it was Jason.

• 43:48Bill Simmons?

  We need Craig's reaction to the canoe ending.

• 43:51Chris Ryan?

  Legitimately shocking.

• 43:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 43:53Chris Ryan?

  Totally thought the movie was over.

• 43:53Bill Simmons?

  Didn't see it coming at all?

• 43:54Chris Ryan?

  No, because I saw there was like two minutes left in the runtime and I was like, oh, this is just gonna be like, she got away and maybe there's a little tease. Actually floored me, I didn't really find the movie that scary until that specific scene. I can't imagine what it would have been like in the theater in 1980.

• 44:08Bill Simmons?

  So it's directly like influenced by Carrie, right? Cause Carrie's hand coming out at the end. And I think this is Tom Savini's idea, if I remember from the research, it's the makeup artist was like, we need like one more button on this, you know? Yeah.

• 44:23Chris Ryan?

  But Jason was not envisioned as, okay, now we're gonna put this kid in the mix. He's also disgusting looking, like his body, they do a great job. One of the great things about Jason is that like, we know him from the mask, but he is a disfigured dude, you know, it's like a real.

• 44:38Bill Simmons?

  Good jump scare, one of the best ones, often imitated afterwards.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Oh, they, they do.

• 44:43Bill Simmons?

  Let's get that laugh, oh, you thought the movie was over?

• 44:45Speaker 01

  At the end of every, like, we're talking about Nightmare on Elm Street, in every movie, hey, just let you know, Freddy's not fucking dead.

• 44:52Chris Ryan?

  The peace and tranquility of sitting on the lake, it's so calm, she's literally like as far away from anything as she can be.

• 44:58Bill Simmons?

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  She's safe, everything's happened, and then boom.

• 45:02Bill Simmons?

  So I had horror movie tropes that this movie invented. A female murderer, I don't think that had happened.

• 45:09Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 45:09Bill Simmons?

  Right, had it?

• 45:10Chris Ryan?

  Well, I mean, Carrie, Carrie is a female murderer.

• 45:15Bill Simmons?

  First of all, Carrie was in the right. They shouldn't have fucked with her like they did, they humiliated her on prom night.

• 45:22Chris Ryan?

  But isn't she following like the Freddy zone then?

• 45:24Bill Simmons?

  Poured pig bloods on her.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  They were mean to her, but she used telekinetic powers to murder the entire prom.

• 45:31Chris Ryan?

  Including a bunch of people who were trying to help her.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. They were mean.

• 45:34Bill Simmons?

  Just Betty Buckley's character.

• 45:36Chris Ryan?

  Sure. Right.

• 45:38Bill Simmons?

  I know, her mom abused her.

• 45:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Everything that you're saying.

• 45:40Bill Simmons?

  The kids at school were so mean to her, and she had telekinetic powers.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Let's, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stop you, I'm gonna let what you're saying wash over you, and then you're gonna be like, I shouldn't do that.

• 45:51Chris Ryan?

  Why don't we do Carrie? How have we not done Carrie yet?

• 45:53Bill Simmons?

  We're going to, I, it's, I'm not, I'm not defending mass murder, I'm saying she had telekinetic powers, she had no control over it, they fucking drove her crazy.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 46:02Bill Simmons?

  She saw red, that was it.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  My, hey bro, at the end, if I was litigating this, I would love to do this, the trial of Carrie, I would love for you to be the defense and I'd be the prosecution. At the end of that, it looked like to me, Carrie looks, door lock.

• 46:18Bill Simmons?

  It is great, she's like.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Door lock, door lock.

• 46:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, she knows what she's doing.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  You guys fucked up, let's get busy.

• 46:24Bill Simmons?

  My defense would be, I mean, did you see the movie? They're fucking so mean to her.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  They were mean?

• 46:29Bill Simmons?

  They were asking for it.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  They were mean.

• 46:30Chris Ryan?

  I think there are other iconic, like Pamela kinda reminds me of going even back to like Manchurian Candidate, or like Mommy Dearest, but then, depending, I mean, obviously like Psycho is Norman Bates, but Norma is, is, is pretty out there.

• 46:46Bill Simmons?

  Uh, so it invented that, summer camp as a setting, I think it was the first one. And then the second ending that may or may not be a nightmare and you don't really, you don't expect it, and then you don't really know if it was real or not.

• 46:58Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 46:59Bill Simmons?

  Stuff it stole, the one location, one night slaughter, the Jaws music for the villain you can't see. Kids dying right after having premarital sex, cause they shouldn't have done that. A seemingly friendly helper who ends up being not friendly, the Texas Chainsaw move. The not killing the killer, but just then repeatedly letting them back when you could just get rid of them. And then the final girl, so, so it's still six things.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:25Bill Simmons?

  Not to mention like, this is on a certain day that everybody knows, et cetera, et cetera.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Did it invent the nuts, deranged member of the outside town community, who's actually right about how dangerous things are? Like the, oh, don't listen to old crazy whatever, like he keeps, like, yeah, did it, did it invent that?

• 47:48Chris Ryan?

  Do you consider Donald Pleasence that in Halloween?

• 47:51Bill Simmons?

  Sort of.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Kinda.

• 47:52Bill Simmons?

  By Halloween four.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 47:54Chris Ryan?

  And then I guess.

• 47:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you let him out, ah!

• 47:57Speaker 01

  But, but he's like fighting it though, I'm talking about somebody that's like on the outside, you're going somewhere and they go.

• 48:02Bill Simmons?

  What's weird is they said that guy has a wife.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Who, Crazy Ralph?

• 48:05Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I can't wait to talk about.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  His wife's been looking for him.

• 48:07Chris Ryan?

  There's two major unanswerable questions I have, what is Ralph's home life? And I have another one. The guy in the, at the cemetery at Texas, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, he kind of warns everybody of what's to come.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe so, maybe so.

• 48:19Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I think in general, Texas Chainsaw, it's like, there's grave robbing going on, find, find another time to go to your old, your dad's old place. It's 105 degrees, yeah, maybe skip this.

• 48:28Bill Simmons?

  What do you have from us who watch?

• 48:29Chris Ryan?

  I have Marcy and Jack fucking die, cause that's kinda like where you just know you're in Friday the 13th.

• 48:35Bill Simmons?

  I had that as well.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the scene that the entire movie to me is like actually based around. Like that's the scene of the biting of the apple, you're dead, very important.

• 48:47Bill Simmons?

  Also funny that it's Kevin Bacon.

• 48:49Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  You're a lousy goddamn softball player, Jack!

• 48:55Bill Simmons?

  I think this is like his six rewatchables.

• 48:57Chris Ryan?

  Is he?

• 48:58Bill Simmons?

  Even though he hasn't, I don't think been in the star of anyone.

• 48:59Chris Ryan?

  Apollo, Few Good Men.

• 49:01Bill Simmons?

  JFK.

• 49:02Chris Ryan?

  JFK, this is four.

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Animal House.

• 49:04Bill Simmons?

  Animal House.

• 49:04Chris Ryan?

  Animal House, five.

• 49:06Bill Simmons?

  I think there was one more.

• 49:07Chris Ryan?

  Did you do Footloose?

• 49:08Bill Simmons?

  Not yet.

• 49:09Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 49:10Bill Simmons?

  I'd love to.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Love that. You know,

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Bacon is, I, I think Bacon is the top actor of all time at what Bacon does.

• 49:20Chris Ryan?

  As opposed to?

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Okay, so look.

• 49:23Bill Simmons?

  Well, you're saying he's like a Robert Horry type.

• 49:25Speaker 04

  Did we say Crazy, Stupid Love, Wild Things?

• 49:27Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 49:27Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  Crazy, Stupid Love, Wild Things.

• 49:28Bill Simmons?

  So he's been in seven.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  It's a lot.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  So those are movies with Bacon, like coming in and adding to a movie. But I'm talking about the weird, incredibly watchable eighties Kevin Bacon movie, early ninety, where he's the lead.

• 49:43Chris Ryan?

  Like Tremors or whatever.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Tremors, The Big Picture.

• 49:46Bill Simmons?

  Quicksilver.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Quicksilver.

• 49:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Like that level of leading man, like leading man.

• 49:51Bill Simmons?

  Flatliners, he's one of the leads.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  All of that.

• 49:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  Kevin Bacon delivers in that. You couldn't see anybody bigger for those roles. But he's the perfect mid-level leading man in that role. I don't know if anybody is as good as him at delivering on movies like that.

• 50:03Chris Ryan?

  He's got a great, it's a great combination of like a little bit of smarm, but a lot of like sincerity.

• 50:08Bill Simmons?

  And a recognizable face.

• 50:10Chris Ryan?

  Very much so.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Right. You know that you're in good hands. He, he's a, he's a, like, The Big Picture is actually one of my favorite movies.

• 50:16Chris Ryan?

  Will we ever do Mystic River?

• 50:18Bill Simmons?

  Is that my daughter in there?

• 50:19Speaker 01

  I can't. Come on, bro. That bitch there, bro.

• 50:21Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if it's rewatchable.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  That, that motherf- all of the crying and kids and shit like that for like.

• 50:27Bill Simmons?

  We did do the Casey Affleck movie.

• 50:29Chris Ryan?

  Manchester by the Sea.

• 50:30Bill Simmons?

  Mystic River.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Y'all did that on the rewatchable?

• 50:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we did.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  You sick fucks.

• 50:34Chris Ryan?

  It was crazy.

• 50:35Bill Simmons?

  I can't get past it.

• 50:38Bill Simmons?

  What'd you have for most rewatchable?

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I agree with you guys.

• 50:41Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:42Bill Simmons?

  What's the most nineteen eighty thing about this movie?

• 50:46Bill Simmons?

  The old gas station pumps really brought me back. At the gas station, they seem like they're from the forties. Alice's hair, we talked about. Um, Betsy Palmer's sweater. But I think the winner is two characters and two different points to a Bogart impersonation, a Katherine Hepburn impersonation?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:03Bill Simmons?

  Did you understand what was happening?

• 51:05Chris Ryan?

  Hmm, I knew there were some old movie references, but no, not specifically.

• 51:08Bill Simmons?

  So what's the equivalent of that now?

• 51:10Chris Ryan?

  Well.

• 51:11Bill Simmons?

  In like obsession, if they did.

• 51:14Chris Ryan?

  Pulp Fiction im- imitations?

• 51:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, like if, if one of them did Jules from Pulp Fiction, the other one did Forrest Gump.

• 51:19Chris Ryan?

  Twenty-two years later, if this is nineteen eighty. I mean, it's still.

• 51:22Bill Simmons?

  Jules and Forrest Gump.

• 51:23Chris Ryan?

  It's still a little late to be doing Bogart.

• 51:25Bill Simmons?

  It's a little late for.

• 51:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  But I'll tell you what, back to my theory of cultural expiration, it had not culturally expired yet. You still heard, uh, like Eddie Murphy in movies, like, ah, like it was, it still was around, like, and it, it wasn't gone.

• 51:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there've been other nineteen eighty things?

• 51:41Chris Ryan?

  Uh, just the fact that it feels like the seventies, cause like nineteen eighty is still like.

• 51:45Bill Simmons?

  They're filming in seventy-nine.

• 51:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. I got a couple of things. Uh, number one, the hitchhiking. Okay, it's a big nineteen eighty thing, hitchhiking. Don't do that. Uh, number two, white kids at the lake.

• 51:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  In the eighties, there was a lot of shit about white kids just going, they're going to the lake to hang out.

• 52:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Movies was going to the lake. Y'all go to the lake still? Y'all go to the lake, hang out? You go to the lake?

• 52:06Chris Ryan?

  I go to the lake every summer.

• 52:07Speaker 04

  Not really, no.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  You ever go to the lake?

• 52:09Bill Simmons?

  Nah, not that, now that we know about.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Go to the lake, hang out, there's a little floating part of the lake.

• 52:13Chris Ryan?

  I go just to see if Jason comes, you know, you go.

• 52:15Bill Simmons?

  Cause now we have information, like forty-five tons of raw sewage was dumped into Lake Blank.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, tough.

• 52:22Bill Simmons?

  And then you're like, oh, yeah, that's not gonna swim in there anymore.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  The last one, I mean to wear everybody out, but the panties.

• 52:29Chris Ryan?

  I think that the, the underwear is.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  The, the, the underwear in the movie, the, the Victoria's Secret.

• 52:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Totally changed panty technology.

• 52:39Chris Ryan?

  I wonder if this was also a time when people did do, and now I'm gonna put my bathrobe on for the night or my nightgown on for the night. Really like, a, a really nice bedtime ritual for folks, even at, even at summer camp.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Even like those kids that young.

• 52:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 52:55Bill Simmons?

  What do you have for the Floyd Gondoli butter on my ass, lollipops in my mouth award?

• 52:58Chris Ryan?

  Camp counselor's in trouble, brother.

• 53:01Chris Ryan?

  I don't even need Jason. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 53:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 53:04Chris Ryan?

  If it was just like, if it was just this, I guess that's what Meatballs is, but I'm just like, this is enough.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Bad weather being a harbinger of many deaths. I think that actually, not only is Jason's mom a athlete, she's also an amateur meteorologist. She probably went, I'm going to strike on this night cause we got about a seventy-five percent chance of rain that will cover my tracks and trap all of these kids in places. Think about it. Everybody's running around barefoot, they're slipping around. Nobody's at their best because of the rain.

• 53:41Bill Simmons?

  I have random diner scenes where everyone knows everyone and it's just like a giant, huge podcast.

• 53:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 53:48Bill Simmons?

  It only happens in movies. I've never been in a diner where somebody's like, hey, Marge, what's going on today? And it's like, I don't know, ask Bobby. And just every.

• 53:57Chris Ryan?

  It's even been a while since I had the experience of walking into a diner and everybody looks up from their, what they're eating to see who just came in. Cause everybody, no, it ha- it happens in this movie.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 54:07Bill Simmons?

  Cause now you go in a diner and nobody.

• 54:08Chris Ryan?

  Everybody's looking at their phone.

• 54:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, everybody's on their phone and nobody's talking to anybody.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  Well, when you guys go to diners, what diners?

• 54:13Bill Simmons?

  I know. That's why I like when they're in these movies.

• 54:15Chris Ryan?

  I go to lakes and diners. You guys have left America behind, but I'm still a part of it, you know?

• 54:19Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 54:20Bill Simmons?

  Like diners.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  I mean, I go.

• 54:22Bill Simmons?

  Our, our LA version of a diner is the one Phil Rosenthal opened that has influencers going on there.

• 54:27Chris Ryan?

  It's like standing in line for two hours.

• 54:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, get a twenty dollar pancake.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  That hamburger is good.

• 54:32Bill Simmons?

  Um, what's age the best? A truly tremendous setup for the sequels. They fucking lay the groundwork. Where's the boy?

• 54:42Chris Ryan?

  Then he's still there.

• 54:44Bill Simmons?

  Then he's still there. Boom. I'm ready.

• 54:46Chris Ryan?

  Every time you do a horror movie imitation, you do long legs hands.

• 54:51Bill Simmons?

  Sorry, Chris Ryan. I don't mean to be long legs. Uh, Kevin Bacon is age the best.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 55:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, how about when there's a town crazy?

• 55:05Bill Simmons?

  Has that ever gone wrong as a gimmick in a movie?

• 55:06Chris Ryan?

  Crazy Ralph?

• 55:07Bill Simmons?

  Crazy Ralph.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Cause you have so much you could do with them. The town crazy could either be someone that throws you off the main narrative of the movie or somebody that you're supposed to listen to because of the main narrative of the movie. Society has forgotten him, but they're the only person that actually is giving a real warning.

• 55:24Chris Ryan?

  Do you think Ralph knew it was Pamela the whole time? Or you think he just thinks it's cursed?

• 55:30Bill Simmons?

  I think Pamela, and I don't think anyone saw it coming with her. Who's your favorite town crazy? Who's the most underrated?

• 55:36Speaker 01

  I'd have to.

• 55:36Bill Simmons?

  I'm going with Sam Jackson in Above the Rim.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  Sam Jackson is not in Above the Rim.

• 55:41Bill Simmons?

  No, Bernie Mac, sorry. Bernie Mac in Above the Rim. Sam Jackson was in Above the Rim too.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  No, he's not.

• 55:47Bill Simmons?

  I thought he was.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:50Bill Simmons?

  Don't do it. Don't say what I think you're gonna say. Bernie Mac. What was Bernie Mac's character?

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Bernie Mac was Flip.

• 55:55Bill Simmons?

  Flip.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Flip was, um, Flip, nah, watch, watch Sam Jackson being that bitch. I'm second guessing him. No, Bernie, Bernie Mac was Flip. Remember he played.

• 56:03Bill Simmons?

  I'm talking about Flip.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  He played on the same college, uh, high school basketball team with Nutso and the main guy. It's like he plays him and Flip doesn't, you know?

• 56:12Bill Simmons?

  By the way, Nutso, the, the guy, Leon talks to Nutso.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Same thing.

• 56:16Bill Simmons?

  Another talks to a dead guy. Yeah.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, Nutso.

• 56:19Bill Simmons?

  Hear that, Nutso?

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Nutso, he's saying we even.

• 56:22Bill Simmons?

  Like, what the hell's wrong with you, Doc? What's age the best, strip monopoly? Maybe the only time this, I don't even know what the rules are in strip monopoly.

• 56:31Chris Ryan?

  It doesn't make any sense. It's like.

• 56:32Bill Simmons?

  Instead of paying, I just give you a piece of my clothes?

• 56:33Chris Ryan?

  Instead of rent, I take off my clothes.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  You're gonna sit your bare ass.

• 56:38Chris Ryan?

  Also, the guy is definitely just gonna tank.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Right. It's, it, Monopoly's a long game.

• 56:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 56:44Bill Simmons?

  So at what point is that guy trying to figure out if he's gonna have a threesome?

• 56:47Speaker 01

  What is the purpose of playing the game if that's not going to happen? You're just gonna sit there with a hard ass dick for two, for three or four hours playing Monopoly?

• 56:57Bill Simmons?

  I'd be like, speed, fast, roll this, roll this, go, go.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  And then everybody.

• 57:00Bill Simmons?

  You bought, I'll take good, six hours, go.

• 57:02Chris Ryan?

  Are you tired? Are you tired? Do you wanna like?

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Everybody exits the game and he doesn't put up enough of a fight. They're like, oh, no more Monopoly. I'd have been like, wait a minute, we were just getting started.

• 57:11Bill Simmons?

  At some point, one of them was like, where's Jack? It's like, I don't fucking care where Jack is. Let's keep the strip monopoly going. I think you're rolling. You're on boardwalk.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  You just fucking hit boardwalk. Pay the fuck up.

• 57:21Bill Simmons?

  I think he definitely had threesome ideas.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does. It was their idea.

• 57:26Bill Simmons?

  I had one more, bro. What'd you have for what's age the best?

• 57:28Chris Ryan?

  I always love the moment when Jack and Marcy are down by the lake and Jack just goes, winds shifted a hundred and eighty degrees. That storm's gonna tear right down the valley. And I'm like, this is what dudes were like before ESPN.

• 57:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 57:42Chris Ryan?

  They just, they just knew a lot about like weather, how to fix stuff. And then ESPN came along, they're like. Fucking Baker Mcfield killing me this way.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Now, that's what you gotta know about. Fucking change a car.

• 57:55Chris Ryan?

  I don't think there's enough fall for the Sixers. There's not enough fall to go around.

• 58:01Bill Simmons?

  What do you have?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  What's mine is what happens right after that. What's aged the best is how horny men are, and I'll tell you why. They're sitting there talking right after he says that. And this is what she says. She goes, I've dreamed this dream, maybe I have done it times. There's a thunderstorm. The rain comes down like pebbles. I can hear the sound. I try to close my ears off. It doesn't work. The sound gets louder. The rain turns into blood. And the blood washes down in little rivers.

• 58:28Chris Ryan?

  He's like, that's crazy.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  And the sound stopped. He like, damn.

• 58:32Chris Ryan?

  That's crazy. You wanna go inside?

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Hey, let's go inside. Not one thing in one way did he go, wait, what the fuck is this? She talking about the blood. Hey, man, what the blood mean? Was I, am I in the dream? Hold on for a second. Before we go in here real quick.

• 58:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  I wanna make, I don't get killed in this dream with an arrow through the neck.

• 58:48Chris Ryan?

  No, he's like, how about those Phillies?

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. He's like, actually, you know what just happened? The wind just shifted again, so let's try to get inside.

• 58:57Bill Simmons?

  They also never mentioned how there's the cemetery right there or that it's called Camp Blood or any of that stuff. Do you think they even know?

• 59:03Chris Ryan?

  Camp Blood's the nickname. It was called Camp Crystal Lake.

• 59:05Bill Simmons?

  I know, but do you think they know about the Camp Blood thing, like for real?

• 59:08Speaker 04

  Don't they mention it in the beginning of the movie?

• 59:10Chris Ryan?

  And two, they know. Well, Ralph is like, she's like, I'm going to Crystal Lake.

• 59:13Speaker 04

  I thought all the kids mentioned it when they all are meeting for the first time. Don't they say, oh, Camp Blood?

• 59:17Bill Simmons?

  Cemetery would be as scary as the Camp Blood piece.

• 59:19Chris Ryan?

  I know.

• 59:21Bill Simmons?

  Like, it's fucking, there are no lights anywhere. The only other one I had was The Score.

• 59:27Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Well, that is actually, yeah.

• 59:28Bill Simmons?

  It was done by Harry Manfredini. And so for forty-six years, I thought it was choo-choo, ha-ha-ha. But it's not.

• 59:38Chris Ryan?

  It's kill, kill.

• 59:39Bill Simmons?

  It's kiki, mama, kiki, mama.

• 59:42Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 59:43Bill Simmons?

  So I just heard this incorrectly for my entire life. I thought it was choo-choo.

• 59:47Chris Ryan?

  This is life before subtitles.

• 59:48Bill Simmons?

  Ha-ha-ha. Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  Score's great. The movie leans on it, too. Like, it uses it a lot.

• 59:52Chris Ryan?

  Choo-choo.

• 59:54Bill Simmons?

  I mean, arguably the best, other than like some of the Halloween with the piano.

• 59:58Chris Ryan?

  Now, he, the, Halloween wins the gold for like.

• 1:00:03Bill Simmons?

  It's got, yeah, Halloween has moves. This just has the.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  But that, but that, both of them are like, yeah, it is probably gold silver with that. But both of them, you just know that you're in the shit now when that starts to.

• 1:00:14Bill Simmons?

  If you're in your house alone and you just heard that in the house.

• 1:00:18Chris Ryan?

  I get my car.

• 1:00:18Bill Simmons?

  You're shitting on yourself.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Bill Simmons?

  What do you have for a great shot, Gordo?

• 1:00:22Chris Ryan?

  Mom beheading. Does a slow-mo machete down, just because that's become, that, that's a hallmark of these movies and winds up becoming like the, you gotta have it staple.

• 1:00:32Bill Simmons?

  Can we bring in Bangkok Craig for this?

• 1:00:34Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:00:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Bangkok Craig.

• 1:00:36Chris Ryan?

  Yep.

• 1:00:37Bill Simmons?

  Do you buy that you could cut somebody's head off with a, with that size knife?

• 1:00:41Chris Ryan?

  I doubt it was very sharp, right? It's probably like a dull, old knife. So no way. The velocity you would need to get through a neck, I don't think so. This is also what's cool about two is Ginny or whatever her name is in two tries to do it to Jason.

• 1:00:55Bill Simmons?

  It only like.

• 1:00:55Chris Ryan?

  Damages his shoulder.

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  You need like a Samurai level katana to get through.

• 1:00:59Bill Simmons?

  You need to be like Black Rain, Michael Douglas.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  But isn't there probably like a ton of technique that will go along with that as well? Like, fuck house, it has to be sharp, but don't you have to know how to like?

• 1:01:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and House of the Dragon, she misses.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  I feel like you gotta, you gotta do a beheading style where they're down on their hands and knees. You could have that like downward force chopping up across somebody like that. I don't see it.

• 1:01:22Bill Simmons?

  I don't see it either. I had a lot of issues with it.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:24Bill Simmons?

  I don't think she's strong enough.

• 1:01:25Chris Ryan?

  The shot is iconic, yeah.

• 1:01:27Bill Simmons?

  Great shot. Chess Rockwell Brocklander is a word, best character name. Give you Crazy Ralph or I could give you Jason Voorhees.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Jason Voorhees was mine.

• 1:01:34Chris Ryan?

  I had Crazy Ralph.

• 1:01:36Bill Simmons?

  Voorhees is a great, uh-oh, name.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Voorhees.

• 1:01:41Bill Simmons?

  Voorhees.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Chris Ryan?

  Do we have any pro?

• 1:01:43Bill Simmons?

  Like Ben, have you met my, my wife?

• 1:01:45Chris Ryan?

  Any pro athlete Voorhees?

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Voorhees, what the fuck, what kind of name is that?

• 1:01:50Bill Simmons?

  What's the question?

• 1:01:51Chris Ryan?

  Any pro athlete Voorhees's right now?

• 1:01:54Bill Simmons?

  If your name's Voorhees, you're changing that.

• 1:01:56Chris Ryan?

  It'd be so sick if you were a hockey player with the last name Voorhees.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, Andrew Voorhees, he's on the Ravens.

• 1:02:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  Lineman.

• 1:02:02Bill Simmons?

  The Vane Lathan Award, did this movie need more black people?

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  No, I'll get to my flex later on.

• 1:02:08Bill Simmons?

  You wanna save that one for later?

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, we can save it later on for the flex.

• 1:02:11Bill Simmons?

  All right, CR is a flex. What do you got?

• 1:02:13Chris Ryan?

  I got Clarence Worley should have died at the end award for Alice. Cause that would have been the sickest ending ever if Big Jay jumps out of the lake, holds her under. You know.

• 1:02:22Bill Simmons?

  There's just nobody left?

• 1:02:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but obviously the problem then is like the cops are there, so they see it. And then it's like, okay, so like we now know Jason's here and we, cause the whole point is that Jason is this myth that nobody believes. And, but that would have been.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  So help me, help me out. So what is, so does that happen and the cops don't see it?

• 1:02:41Chris Ryan?

  No, it doesn't happen.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  It doesn't happen.

• 1:02:42Chris Ryan?

  But he's out there.

• 1:02:43Speaker 04

  And that's just in her imagination?

• 1:02:45Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  It doesn't happen?

• 1:02:47Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Well, it can't happen because he's, he's dead. Well, the mom, well, I, actually, the mom feels like he's dead, but he's not dead. He couldn't have been dead. Her whole impetus for doing all of this is that he died.

• 1:02:59Bill Simmons?

  Sounds like a nightmare.

• 1:03:00Chris Ryan?

  Even though the second one comes out in eighty-one, it's set in eighty-four.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  In the future movies, isn't Jason alive or not?

• 1:03:06Chris Ryan?

  Yes, but like is killed multiple times and then.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Becomes a supernatural specter.

• 1:03:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:12Bill Simmons?

  Dress the Kill is the same double ending at the end with Michael Caine's character comes back. And Nancy Allen's character realizes it was a dream and she's in the hospital.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  We should talk about this. So at one point, Michael Myers becomes supernatural as well, right? Or no? He's just like.

• 1:03:29Bill Simmons?

  I think in five, five, four.

• 1:03:31Chris Ryan?

  And then the cult gets involved, yeah.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Supernatural. Both of these, which do you guys prefer? Do you prefer before or after they become demons?

• 1:03:42Bill Simmons?

  I like when it's, when it's like Chainsaw where I, I could really buy into this person.

• 1:03:48Chris Ryan?

  He's just a guy who believes in property lines.

• 1:03:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:03:51Bill Simmons?

  Cause he wants, he wants to invite you into his house.

• 1:03:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Bill Simmons?

  Nobody ever wakes up from a dream and they're like, oh, man, I just dreamed Roman Anthony's hand was healthy. It's always Jason pulled me in a lake.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:04:06Chris Ryan?

  I know. I haven't had a good dream since I turned like twenty-one.

• 1:04:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't, do you have dreams?

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  I dream insanely.

• 1:04:14Chris Ryan?

  But do you have good dreams ever?

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 1:04:17Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna bum you guys out, but like.

• 1:04:19Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  But what? Like after my dad died, he was always, he would always come to me in dreams.

• 1:04:25Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:04:25Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:04:26Chris Ryan?

  That's wonderful.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  So like, stuff like that, yeah.

• 1:04:28Bill Simmons?

  Really?

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Like all, my dad was a bouncer at a club once. My dad was riding horses with me. I was lost at Duke University and I wandered into a soul food restaurant, but I didn't know if I could eat the soul food.

• 1:04:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, you knew it was a dream, cause it was, you're at Duke University, it was a soul food restaurant.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Right. Well, legitimately, and my dad, my dad is like, no, you can eat from here. And I sit down and have a meal with him. It just happened a bunch of different ways.

• 1:04:54Bill Simmons?

  I wish I, I, I wish I had better dreams. I don't really remember them.

• 1:04:58Chris Ryan?

  All my dreams are, are stress and anxiety.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  A lot of them, I have a lot of those dreams, too.

• 1:05:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Bill Simmons?

  Like, I've got three pods. There's not enough time to do these.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Three pods that are all at the same time. What am I gonna do?

• 1:05:10Chris Ryan?

  I think I have had the lights come to your house and we're doing a different movie than the one I've prepared for.

• 1:05:15Bill Simmons?

  Oh, the high school math test.

• 1:05:18Chris Ryan?

  I think.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Like you sit down and it's like, okay, time for another forty-eight hours. You're like, this is not Beverly Hills Cop.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  What do you, I got a whole fucking sheet map out here.

• 1:05:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Bill Simmons?

  Was there a better title for this movie? It was originally called A Long Night at Camp Blood for the screenplay.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  That's not bad.

• 1:05:36Bill Simmons?

  Camp, how about Camp Blood?

• 1:05:37Chris Ryan?

  Camp Blood's great.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Camp Blood's good, too.

• 1:05:41Bill Simmons?

  I was gonna do this as a hottest take, but I have a better one. I think he should have called this Camp Blood. And I think he should have kept Friday the thirteenth as a different gimmick for.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:05:51Bill Simmons?

  A different franchise.

• 1:05:52Chris Ryan?

  But he's, he's out of the picture after the first one.

• 1:05:55Bill Simmons?

  Right. But Camp Blood two, Camp Blood three, that's, I think that could have been the same.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  At the same time, though, the movies have more versatility moving on with the sequels. Like Camp Blood, Camp Blood Takes Manhattan is not as good, right? Friday the thirteenth is like a.

• 1:06:08Chris Ryan?

  No, he's saying there should be a Camp Blood series.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  Oh, and then Friday the thirteenth.

• 1:06:11Chris Ryan?

  And then there is a Jason series.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  I see. I see, that makes sense.

• 1:06:15Bill Simmons?

  Butch's Girlfriend Award, weak link of the film. What do you have?

• 1:06:18Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I have this.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  I got Ned, man.

• 1:06:20Chris Ryan?

  Ned, Ned's good. He's in my What's Aged the Worst? Steve Christie is a piece of shit.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Ah, Steve Christie.

• 1:06:26Chris Ryan?

  Steve who runs the camp.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  He does, he kinda like.

• 1:06:30Chris Ryan?

  Kids show up, he's immediately like, look, help me get this tree stump out of here.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Chris Ryan?

  Then he's like, I'm out.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Done.

• 1:06:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, don't forget about he hits on the help.

• 1:06:37Chris Ryan?

  Hits on Alice.

• 1:06:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:39Chris Ryan?

  Shirtless.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  Shirtless.

• 1:06:40Chris Ryan?

  It is just like, you do great drawings.

• 1:06:41Bill Simmons?

  Then touches her head for some reason. He's super creepy.

• 1:06:44Chris Ryan?

  But then it's like, I'm gonna bounce. You know he got loaded in the, in town for like all night. And then he goes to the diner to like sober up a little bit so he can drive home.

• 1:06:52Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, I think he might have been thinking about taking a run at the old waitress.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Something was happening to she, but she came on to him, though. She was trying to see what was up.

• 1:07:00Bill Simmons?

  She might have, might have given him a little dessert.

• 1:07:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:03Bill Simmons?

  But at one time in life. What was your weak link's event?

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  It's Ned. Ned gets on my fucking nerves. We can talk about What's Aged the Worst, too. Ned, like Ned was getting on my nerves.

• 1:07:11Chris Ryan?

  Ned's tough. That's a tough hang.

• 1:07:14Bill Simmons?

  Which one was Ned?

• 1:07:15Chris Ryan?

  The guy who wears the Native American headdress.

• 1:07:17Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  The one that continues to cultural appropriate throughout the movie.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  He was gonna be my flex for, I was gonna create a category called the Ned number eighty-eight award for the guy I can't wait to die.

• 1:07:26Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I just thought it was eighty-eight.

• 1:07:28Chris Ryan?

  How does Ned die in this movie? I forget, like, what did she do to him?

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  They just find it.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  He's on top of the bed above them having sex.

• 1:07:33Chris Ryan?

  That's not enough.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:34Speaker 04

  No, I needed to see that.

• 1:07:35Bill Simmons?

  I like when you think that, that scene can't get any worse when he's wearing the headdress and then the cop's like, settle down, Tonto.

• 1:07:43Speaker 04

  That scene is so fucking weko cheese. It's so weird.

• 1:07:46Chris Ryan?

  That cop is so in a completely different.

• 1:07:51Chris Ryan?

  I thought that was coming back. Also, every time a cop shows up in the first three movies, they immediately get called away for some car accident somewhere else.

• 1:08:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Chris Ryan?

  So they're like, oh, God, jaws.

• 1:08:01Bill Simmons?

  We got a jaws and legs situation.

• 1:08:03Chris Ryan?

  But like Ned thinks he's Chevy Chase in this movie.

• 1:08:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:06Chris Ryan?

  What the fuck's going on?

• 1:08:07Bill Simmons?

  Ned is giving so much of nothing in this bitch.

• 1:08:10Chris Ryan?

  Him and Franklin from Texas Chainsaw at the worst podcast ever. For most of the movie, right? Yeah. Like Ned's just.

• 1:08:15Bill Simmons?

  Out of all the Fred 13, the worst one is the guy from Last American Virgin in part four. The guy who's watching the old movies.

• 1:08:23Chris Ryan?

  Crispin Glover?

• 1:08:24Bill Simmons?

  No, the guy who's watching the old movies on the movie projector and trying to get everybody to watch the movies with them. That guy sucks.

• 1:08:29Chris Ryan?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:08:30Bill Simmons?

  Talk about bad hang. Can't wait to give it to him when we do that. My weak link, I think the first girl who died, Annie, should have actually been the hero of the movie.

• 1:08:40Chris Ryan?

  Should have been the final.

• 1:08:41Bill Simmons?

  And I would have killed off Alice first. I thought Alice was a rough hang. I didn't like her hair. I, I, I just thought out of all the girls, easily not the most attractive one.

• 1:08:54Chris Ryan?

  Such an interesting story too, because that actress who plays Alice, Adrian King, winds up getting like a stalker after this.

• 1:09:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Chris Ryan?

  So it's kind of like, I don't want to do two. And.

• 1:09:07Bill Simmons?

  She's like, just right, get me out of two as fast as possible.

• 1:09:10Chris Ryan?

  Arguably, there is a part in this series that she could have been the Laurie Strode of Friday the 13th.

• 1:09:16Bill Simmons?

  They had Annie, who's basically Karen Allen 2.0. And they just get rid of her in the first 10 minutes of the movie. I don't know what they were thinking.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  I mean, you look at her right now and, you know, every time I see the movie, the movie comes on, I'll watch it once every two years. It'll be on something like that. Hair teased perfectly, gigantic eyes. That's like, that's, you know, she gets it. I'm with it. It's okay.

• 1:09:39Bill Simmons?

  What's age the worst? Knowing the reveal. This is a.

• 1:09:43Chris Ryan?

  Tough movie if you're like, I know this is Pam.

• 1:09:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I know where this is going. Steve hitting in the staff we mentioned. Faking a drowning so a cute coworker can give you mouth to mouth. I'm saying very seventies, eighties. I don't know if that's fine in 26. Settle down, Tonto. And then, uh, they had so little money that they didn't have enough light. And that's why this movie is so dark.

• 1:10:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's why I probably also like they,

• 1:10:10Chris Ryan?

  I always feel like if they could redo some of the kills in this movie with a little bit more money, it would have popped more now you, you run up against.

• 1:10:18Bill Simmons?

  Michael Mann do it when he's redoing Miami Vice. I've also decided to redo Friday 13.

• 1:10:23Chris Ryan?

  I've added some Friday the 13th kills in.

• 1:10:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:25Chris Ryan?

  The big one, it's in my what's age the worst is the Brenda kill. When she's like wandered out, she's my favorite.

• 1:10:31Bill Simmons?

  We didn't even see it.

• 1:10:32Chris Ryan?

  And when she wanders out into the archery range.

• 1:10:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're just waiting for it.

• 1:10:35Chris Ryan?

  Oh, my God, they're gonna shoot arrows at Brenda. And they, and it just, the lights are on and then it's like, oh, I, I think Brenda's out there and then she's dead.

• 1:10:44Bill Simmons?

  Every time I watch this movie, I think something got edited, but maybe they just didn't have the money to do the Brenda kill.

• 1:10:49Chris Ryan?

  I think they were having a lot of problems too, because the one, Marcy gets hit with the axe. But I think they were having a lot of problems with like, we can either show the aftermath of a kill, but we can't show both the kill and the aftermath. It was just too much money and the special effects were too hard.

• 1:11:05Bill Simmons?

  What'd you have?

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  For what's age the worst?

• 1:11:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  Um, so obviously Ned, the killing of the snake. Now we'd find a, like a way to like.

• 1:11:13Chris Ryan?

  That's like a six minute scene.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  I know, it's like they're all like.

• 1:11:17Chris Ryan?

  Like, let's wrap this up.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Killing, they get the fucking thing, but while we catch the snake and let the snake go.

• 1:11:22Bill Simmons?

  By the way, that's also in what's age the worst, because they actually killed the snake.

• 1:11:25Chris Ryan?

  Did they?

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  For the movie?

• 1:11:27Bill Simmons?

  For the movie.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Oh, that's, that's, that's age.

• 1:11:29Bill Simmons?

  Live snake. Adrian King said in the book, Crystal Lake Memories, that, uh, the owner of the snake was standing off on the side, tears running down his cheeks.

• 1:11:38Chris Ryan?

  No shit.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  That's fucking terrible.

• 1:11:40Bill Simmons?

  Didn't have PETA.

• 1:11:41Chris Ryan?

  They didn't tell the snake owner that they were gonna do that?

• 1:11:44Bill Simmons?

  Nah.

• 1:11:44Chris Ryan?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Um, the Bogart impression I had, uh, aged pretty badly, but something else, like this movie is a horror movie. They don't have no big ass titties. Now, this is still the seventies, basically.

• 1:11:56Bill Simmons?

  You know what it is? It's a nipple movie.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  It's a nipple movie, but later on in the decade.

• 1:12:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  Every horror movie, which I would just watch them as a kid, they would give you some just big ass titties.

• 1:12:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Some like, because the eighties become an era of the big ass titties. Seventies?

• 1:12:14Bill Simmons?

  Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Cold War, big boobs.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So later on, you get deeper into these movies. When you get the, the gratuitous newsy, big ass titties.

• 1:12:25Bill Simmons?

  It'd be funny if Ciara was like, you know, I'm more of a nipples guy, guys.

• 1:12:30Bill Simmons?

  Now, this movie is a different people take turns with the nipples in this movie.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a little nip. It works, don't get me wrong, but like in later.

• 1:12:37Bill Simmons?

  The headlights are on.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:38Chris Ryan?

  Kevin Bacon, though, kind of got his hands all over the place in this movie.

• 1:12:41Bill Simmons?

  He did.

• 1:12:42Chris Ryan?

  You don't see that often.

• 1:12:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't think there was an intimacy coordinator on this one.

• 1:12:46Chris Ryan?

  Very long shot of his hands on her boobs.

• 1:12:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Uh, you mentioned the stalker thing. She basically stopped acting.

• 1:12:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:55Bill Simmons?

  She was so, and it was before they, uh, it was a few years before the My Sister Sam case where they changed all the celebrity stalking rules and added rules. But this girl, Adrian King was living in fear for like a year and a half. The guy was like showing up at her apartment and putting Polaroids in her.

• 1:13:11Chris Ryan?

  Also, you know, if somebody is into you from Friday the 13th, that guy is like.

• 1:13:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:15Chris Ryan?

  Really.

• 1:13:17Bill Simmons?

  Um, all right. We're gonna take a break, come back with hottest take.

• 1:13:21Speaker 05

  I'm pro football Hall of Famer Brian Dawkins, and I lived for a long time with something I did not know the name of. Major depressive disorder. I carry sadness and anger because I thought I could handle it alone, but I couldn't. Now I want to make sure others know that that support is out there. If you're experiencing similar symptoms, talk to a healthcare professional. Visit mddallies.com to watch my story.

• 1:13:47Speaker 06

  Paid partnership with Johnson and Johnson. Brian Dawkins has not prescribed Caplyta lumateperone.

• 1:13:59Speaker 06

  I needed more from my antidepressant, so my doctor added Caplyta lumateperone, proven to provide greater relief from depression symptoms than an antidepressant alone, building on my progress without starting over. Caplyta is for adults with major depressive disorder when used with an antidepressant and is available by prescription only. Individual results may vary. In clinical trials, weight gain was not common. Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Caplyta is not approved for dementia related psychosis. Call your doctor about new or sudden mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts right away. Antidepressants may increase these risks. Report fever, confusion, stiff muscles, which may be life threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High cholesterol and weight gain may occur, as can high blood sugar, which may be fatal. Monitoring is recommended. Common side effects are sleepiness, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, feeling tired, and diarrhea.

• 1:14:44Speaker 06

  These aren't all the side effects.

• 1:14:46Speaker 03

  Ask your doctor about Caplyta. Learn more at caplyta.com or call 888-252-4824.

• 1:14:52Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by The Home Depot. The Home Depot has everything you need to launch your holiday season in style. Upgrade your yard with this year's hottest holiday decor, including the showstopping towering Santa. Oh, I like that one. And his impressive reindeer, both 8.5 feet and both designed with incredible detail that stands out day or night. When you want decor that delivers impact, The Home Depot has it. Make your home Santa's favorite stop with the holiday decor you want, all waiting for you at The Home Depot. The Ruffalo Hannah Rubinek Partridge Overacting Award, but I could also give you the Jon Rambo underacting award.

• 1:15:30Bill Simmons?

  Which way do you want to go?

• 1:15:31Chris Ryan?

  Well, I think because Jon Rambo is your, you have an idea.

• 1:15:35Bill Simmons?

  I have Adrian King as the underacting award.

• 1:15:38Chris Ryan?

  Ah.

• 1:15:40Bill Simmons?

  She's just not freaked out enough. First of all, you find all the people you're in the camp with, they're all dead. I don't think she's nearly horrified.

• 1:15:49Chris Ryan?

  She's not animated enough.

• 1:15:51Bill Simmons?

  And then this lady comes who clearly is the killer. And even she just like is problem solving in a way that I don't think is realistic.

• 1:15:59Chris Ryan?

  I think.

• 1:16:00Bill Simmons?

  Low energy.

• 1:16:01Chris Ryan?

  Marcy and Brenda and Annie were more interesting final girls. And yes, I do think that Adrian King seems to be.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, if you were like, tell me three things about Alice, I'd be like, ah.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Tough. The, the one thing I do remember, talk about it later, but it's like, you know, the, the, the moron is like off the charts.

• 1:16:20Bill Simmons?

  Ned.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  Like, no, no, no. For Alice.

• 1:16:23Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  My friends are dead. Who are you talking to? Like, she's talking to Jason's mom, it's like, no, no, no, it's okay. No, no, no, it's not okay. It's not okay. I have discovered the bodies. There is no, I am not thinking, my friends are dead. Either we're going to get help or get the fuck out of my face with your cable knit sweater. They're, they're gone, they're dead.

• 1:16:46Bill Simmons?

  How about she gets in the car, but then gets scared because the dead girl's in the driver's, in the passenger seat? I'm still driving away. I'll, I'll just push that body out. I got, I'm getting the fuck out.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Or you'll drive.

• 1:16:58Bill Simmons?

  She's like, oh, I can't use this car, there's a dead body in it. It's like, you're gonna be next to that dead body, dumbass.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I'm telling you.

• 1:17:06Bill Simmons?

  The CR thinks Luke Wilson could Ben Harrison for a hottest take award. What do you have, Van?

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  Uh, so they call weed grass in this movie and something occurred to me. Society was like in a much better state. When they called weed grass, like when weed was called grass.

• 1:17:23Bill Simmons?

  And it was cheaper and.

• 1:17:24Speaker 01

  It was cheaper.

• 1:17:25Bill Simmons?

  It was less potent. You had to know a guy.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Reefer, not good. Crazy.

• 1:17:30Bill Simmons?

  Grass, harmless.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  Grass, harmless.

• 1:17:34Chris Ryan?

  What about pot?

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  I don't like pot as much, right? Pot, dirty, but think about it. The group of whites you want to be around is the ones that's gonna pull something out like, hey, man, you smoke a little grass?

• 1:17:46Chris Ryan?

  Right. This is mostly oregano, but yes, yeah.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  Whatever. It's like, but like, they just seem cool. It seems like.

• 1:17:52Bill Simmons?

  Oregano twigs and vague.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  You know a movie they smoked grass in?

• 1:17:57Bill Simmons?

  Big Chill.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  They smoked grass in The Big Chill. Decent group of white people.

• 1:18:01Chris Ryan?

  Dazed, Dazed and Confused?

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  That is the number one movie of grass that you would smoke with white people and it seems like it's a cool time. What they got like one brother in that? I'm gonna talk more about this later. It seemed like he was in decent hands. They smoking grass.

• 1:18:16Bill Simmons?

  What do you have?

• 1:18:17Chris Ryan?

  Uh, if we're just talking about improvement over the original and expansion of like the mythology and a greater idea.

• 1:18:27Chris Ryan?

  The leap from Friday one to Friday two makes Friday two the greatest sequel of all time. Ever.

• 1:18:33Bill Simmons?

  Oh, best over Aliens two and Godfather two.

• 1:18:35Chris Ryan?

  Aliens two, Godfather two, and Empire Strikes Back do not double up their original movies in terms of like quality. Friday two is like leaps and bounds. The kids are way more charming. The uh.

• 1:18:50Bill Simmons?

  The final girl is great.

• 1:18:52Chris Ryan?

  Awesome.

• 1:18:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I like her.

• 1:18:53Chris Ryan?

  The kills are incredible. Jason is terrifying. The whole fucking thing with Jason's mom, mom's head there. It's so much better than one to me that I think it, in that term of like improvement over original is, is the best sequel ever made.

• 1:19:10Bill Simmons?

  So you're saying the war of thirteenth one versus two? The war is just advanced metrics are so much better.

• 1:19:19Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Because most movies that we talk about as being phenomenal sequels, they have so much phenomenal source material.

• 1:19:26Chris Ryan?

  They're just like, oh, it's, it's, it might be a little bit better than A New Hope or a little bit better than Godfather one.

• 1:19:32Bill Simmons?

  That was pretty good. This is the hottest take, so I'm gonna go hot.

• 1:19:37Bill Simmons?

  You know, moms get a lot of, lot of love. We'll talk about the moms. They're the ones that thank ninety percent of the time. Sometimes you need dads too. This movie needed a dad.

• 1:19:49Bill Simmons?

  Jason's mom at some point, if a dad is in there, cause I, I think Jason's dad probably took off.

• 1:19:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's where, yeah.

• 1:19:58Bill Simmons?

  This is where it's like, yo, we're gonna leave New Jersey. Like this whole thing, I, I love my son too. This was terrible. We gotta get the fuck out of here. Every time they try to reopen this camp, you lose your mind. We're gonna move to Arizona. Let's get out. This is driving you crazy. Dad could have stopped this.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  So this is interesting. So I, I, I love this take.

• 1:20:19Bill Simmons?

  I knew, I knew you would. I did it just for you.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  I love, I love this take, but I'm saying there's also something that you're missing.

• 1:20:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  There's a version of that where dad is the first victim.

• 1:20:29Bill Simmons?

  I tried to talk to my husband about how much this.

• 1:20:32Chris Ryan?

  That's even better. Did she say that?

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  See, this is. No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying there's a version of this where she goes, Noah would listen, not even his father. And then.

• 1:20:41Bill Simmons?

  See, this is why Van and I.

• 1:20:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's good. She, Betsy Palmer said that she basically built a backstory in her head for him. That is what you said.

• 1:20:49Bill Simmons?

  Jason senior wanted us to move away.

• 1:20:51Chris Ryan?

  She was a single mother.

• 1:20:52Bill Simmons?

  And I had to change his mind.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Bill Simmons?

  I had to correct him.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:21:00Bill Simmons?

  Cassie, what ifs?

• 1:21:02Bill Simmons?

  You said the Sally Field thing already. They realized they couldn't afford her.

• 1:21:06Chris Ryan?

  She also would have been thirty two at the time, which is no big deal, but.

• 1:21:09Bill Simmons?

  Estelle Parsons, I don't know who that is. Shelley Winters turned it down. Palmer agreed because she needed a new car, was paid a thousand dollars a day for ten days.

• 1:21:19Bill Simmons?

  Thought it was a piece of shit. Had no idea it was gonna be a major movie.

• 1:21:23Bill Simmons?

  And then Sean Cunningham, the director producer, was gonna have his son play young Jason to get his son in the movie and the wife vetoed it.

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm gonna keep him away from the fucking serial killer.

• 1:21:34Bill Simmons?

  What do you have for a flex, Van?

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  Uh, so my flex is the top five lists of movies that didn't need black people. Like no black people in this movie. I'm happy that they weren't in it.

• 1:21:46Bill Simmons?

  I say, is it a zero?

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:21:49Bill Simmons?

  We had zero black people in this movie.

• 1:21:50Speaker 01

  I think it's zero black people. Zero black people.

• 1:21:52Bill Simmons?

  See, this should be a website.

• 1:21:54Chris Ryan?

  There's even, there's a black guy in Texas, right? He goes running down the other side of the road.

• 1:21:58Bill Simmons?

  If this was a website, would you go to it and check it out like IMDb?

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Of course. And when I say no black people, I mean, I'm not talking about like, you know, somebody shows up as old house in one scene in the movie. I'm talking about.

• 1:22:08Bill Simmons?

  Even like in the diner, just eating with no lines.

• 1:22:11Chris Ryan?

  Black stat news.

• 1:22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, black stat news.

• 1:22:14Bill Simmons?

  Black stat news would be incredible.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  Awesome, right?

• 1:22:16Bill Simmons?

  Will also be like zero, zero black people versus seventy nine total characters.

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:22:22Bill Simmons?

  What your, what your.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  What's the ratio? Who's the making the most of, out of their lines?

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  This would have a lot, cause there's like seventy people in this movie.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Oh, there was seventy people in what movie?

• 1:22:31Bill Simmons?

  In Friday the thirteenth.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so these are the movies. Number five, Friday the thirteenth. You all in the woods with white people. Everybody getting killed. I'm glad my people didn't have to go through that. All right, number four, The Big Chill. Glad.

• 1:22:44Chris Ryan?

  Really?

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  There's no way that you could be in that friend group of people from The Big Chill and not be a token. There's just no way. Okay? Like they all singing most Motown. You would have had to teach them the songs.

• 1:22:56Chris Ryan?

  They would have been like, right, Van?

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. Sixties were tough. We wanted to defend the Black Panthers. That's how we met Huey here. No, no, I can't, you can't fucking do it. You can't do that. Number three, Grease. Newsflash, that movie is about fucking gang violence. Okay? If you put black people in that, that movie is going to the front page of Fox News. A musical comedy about gang violence? Like think about, that's not happening. Um.

• 1:23:20Bill Simmons?

  Are there no black people in Grease?

• 1:23:22Speaker 01

  It doesn't feel like it. I, I haven't watched it in a while, but I would think I would have remembered.

• 1:23:25Chris Ryan?

  Black stat news is, is still tabulating.

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  Still, yeah.

• 1:23:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Number two, Good Will Hunting. Obvious.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  All right, it's obvious. They're like, you don't, okay, it takes place in Boston. Genius janitor, harder goal.

• 1:23:41Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if there are any black people in Good Will Hunting.

• 1:23:43Chris Ryan?

  I think we could do five black Boston movies for all these.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  I could have done The Town too.

• 1:23:48Chris Ryan?

  I don't think there's any black people departed.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  Enjoy the fact that, no, and the departed Anthony Anderson's in it.

• 1:23:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:23:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, number one is Easy. Jackass. My brother, what are you doing stapling your penis to your thigh for these white boys? We don't need that.

• 1:24:06Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:24:06Speaker 01

  We don't need any of the stunts that you gotta do. What I'm doing right here is enough. Okay?

• 1:24:11Bill Simmons?

  So Steve-O is black. You would have been upset.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  We not go, we not accepting that. We're not accepting none of the stunts, none of the shit that's going on, that's going down with that. Don't need any. We can enjoy it. All of these movies, these are some of my favorite movies. Love The Big Chill. Love Good Will Hunting as much as I don't want to. Like, love Jackass. Hilarious. I don't need to see it all the time up there. I don't need to see us.

• 1:24:35Chris Ryan?

  Representation doesn't matter.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  It matters, but not in Jackass.

• 1:24:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  We don't need that there.

• 1:24:42Bill Simmons?

  That was a really good list.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Thank you very much.

• 1:24:44Bill Simmons?

  Anthony Anderson saved the departed from a, from a white out.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. And by the way, they make the joke in the movie.

• 1:24:50Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  You're a black guy in Boston. You already totally fucked. And then at the end of the movie, doesn't he get domed? He gets domed.

• 1:24:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:57Chris Ryan?

  And?

• 1:24:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. He comes in at the end, boy, I tell you what, like I'm not gonna, no clear out needed. I can't, I'm sitting in the theater watching all of that. I, my soul left my body. That last scene of the departed is just fucking.

• 1:25:09Bill Simmons?

  I just watched it with Ben Simmons a month ago and.

• 1:25:11Chris Ryan?

  Had he seen it before?

• 1:25:12Bill Simmons?

  Never seen it in the ending. Leo getting shot is still one of the all time. I can't believe that happens.

• 1:25:16Speaker 01

  James Batchdale.

• 1:25:19Bill Simmons?

  Nicholson gets worse with their reviewing.

• 1:25:23Bill Simmons?

  When I say to leave the body in the mosh, you leave the body in the mosh.

• 1:25:28Chris Ryan?

  Act accordingly.

• 1:25:29Bill Simmons?

  Just, I don't know what accent he has in that.

• 1:25:31Speaker 01

  He's dialing it up though. I kinda like the performance.

• 1:25:34Bill Simmons?

  He's awesome in that.

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:36Bill Simmons?

  Hans Gruber scale villain ranking for uh Jason's mom? Like a three and a half?

• 1:25:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, cause like, I feel like she's only really wilding out for like the last ten minutes of the movie and I, I think that her frail frame kind of pushes the limits of like what she could really do to all these teenagers.

• 1:25:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's a little De Niro Irishman energy.

• 1:25:56Chris Ryan?

  That's my, it's my, my biggest nitpick. We'll get to that.

• 1:25:59Bill Simmons?

  Do you think you could throw a body through a window right now?

• 1:26:03Speaker 04

  Depending on the size of the body, yeah.

• 1:26:06Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Bangkok Craig could do it, not Craig.

• 1:26:10Bill Simmons?

  I don't know, that, that, that girl was probably like 130 pounds.

• 1:26:13Chris Ryan?

  I think it's a big difference between like, could I do it versus like, if someone was fighting me, could I do it?

• 1:26:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, cause it's a, it's a window like that where there's, you have to get the body up and over.

• 1:26:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  The thing is that like dead weight is like notoriously.

• 1:26:26Chris Ryan?

  Especially for like a 70 year old woman.

• 1:26:29Speaker 01

  Right, yeah, she been in the game a long time.

• 1:26:30Chris Ryan?

  No offense, but she's probably like not doing a lot of strength.

• 1:26:32Bill Simmons?

  Did she win the Diane Waiters Award for you? She's only in the movie for 10 minutes.

• 1:26:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's easy, that's an easy one.

• 1:26:36Speaker 04

  Her or Ralph?

• 1:26:38Bill Simmons?

  Young Jason?

• 1:26:40Chris Ryan?

  I mean, it's a great entrance, yeah.

• 1:26:42Bill Simmons?

  Coming in hot.

• 1:26:44Speaker 04

  Hadn't thought about it.

• 1:26:45Bill Simmons?

  I think Jason's bomb wins. Recasting couch director city, um, obviously Tom Hanks is Ned. He's bosom buddy, like being funny Tom Hanks, movie's 100 times better. Uh, young Sharon Stone as Alice.

• 1:27:00Chris Ryan?

  Ooh.

• 1:27:00Bill Simmons?

  Her first movie, they're doing all like on notes, let's get Sharon Stone in there.

• 1:27:05Speaker 04

  Not bad.

• 1:27:06Chris Ryan?

  I'm into it.

• 1:27:07Bill Simmons?

  Kathleen Turner?

• 1:27:08Chris Ryan?

  Probably a little bit beneath her.

• 1:27:10Bill Simmons?

  Too sultry?

• 1:27:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:11Bill Simmons?

  She's trying to seduce the mom.

• 1:27:12Chris Ryan?

  Also, I think if Kathleen Turner in 1980 showed up at your summer camp, there would be like, like guys would be committing seppuku in front of her.

• 1:27:22Chris Ryan?

  They would just be like, I don't, like, I've never seen any of this beautiful in my life.

• 1:27:25Bill Simmons?

  Was that the least surprising revelation of all time, Michael Douglas's autobiography, that him and Kathleen Turner had an affair and romance in the stone?

• 1:27:32Speaker 04

  It's the least.

• 1:27:32Bill Simmons?

  Like, didn't we all know that?

• 1:27:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:27:34Bill Simmons?

  But do we think they didn't fuck on the set?

• 1:27:36Speaker 01

  It, in, in chemistry movies, that movie has sort of been lost to time in so far as like what a big deal it was when it came out.

• 1:27:45Bill Simmons?

  I love that movie.

• 1:27:46Speaker 01

  Big fucking deal, right?

• 1:27:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  But when you go back and watch that, their chemistry is on some Han Solo Princess Leia type shit.

• 1:27:54Bill Simmons?

  Like, I don't think anyone ever had better chemistry with more great looking actors than him. He's like seven, eight different movies where it seems like, are they fucking during this movie? What's going on here? Uh, Craig, you have a flex?

• 1:28:07Speaker 04

  Mallory Rubin Award for did this movie need a better sex scene? I think they really misplayed the sex in this movie. I feel like if, if angry killer Christian mom is upset that the camp counselors are having sex, that the climax of this movie should be a climax.

• 1:28:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Like, it should have built up to a sex scene between Kevin Bacon and the girl or whatever, and she infiltrates that. I thought it was weird that like, she was like, that, you know, the boy drowned while they were having sex. And then the, the sex scene is like a part of the movie, but it's, it's like the second death. I thought it should have all built up to a big sex scene kill.

• 1:28:38Chris Ryan?

  It's also, it's not like she doesn't kill people who aren't having sex.

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:28:42Chris Ryan?

  So it's like, it doesn't, she has no compunction about doing that, so why make that the central preoccupation?

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, you gotta make that the final moment of the movie. It should have been a big sex scene kill scene.

• 1:28:51Bill Simmons?

  Strip Monopoly, more should have happened.

• 1:28:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:28:56Bill Simmons?

  Steven Skoll shitting on himself for award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film shoot. Um, Lou Reed had a house next to the camp.

• 1:29:08Bill Simmons?

  And they went to his farm and he played music for them.

• 1:29:12Chris Ryan?

  He played like a free show for them.

• 1:29:13Bill Simmons?

  The cast.

• 1:29:13Speaker 04

  Funny.

• 1:29:14Chris Ryan?

  And hung out like and just chilled with them.

• 1:29:16Bill Simmons?

  Lou Reed. Still pretty famous at that point.

• 1:29:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure, and he didn't know.

• 1:29:20Bill Simmons?

  1980, like a famous musician.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  And he didn't know who they were, they were just shooting them.

• 1:29:25Chris Ryan?

  It was just like a bunch of people shooting a movie next door.

• 1:29:27Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, it's awesome.

• 1:29:29Bill Simmons?

  Half ass internet research, the screenwriter, uh, Miller, he thought, he thought it would be fun to turn motherhood on its head with the female killer. Very upset that Jason was turned into the killer in the later movies.

• 1:29:44Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:29:45Bill Simmons?

  Said Jason was dead from the very beginning. He was a victim, not a villain. Settle down, Victor Miller.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, get out of the way.

• 1:29:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're writing a Halloween ripoff movie, you didn't just write Boogie Nights. Uh, Friday 13th shot in Warren County, New Jersey. Camp scene shot at a working boy scout camp called Camp Nobes, Nobe Bosco. There you go. Um, they're rehearsing. Palmer slapped King in the face during the rehearsal and, uh, the lady who played Alice started crying and was upset that she got hit. And they had to litigate that and teach Betsy Palmer how to fake hitting somebody. Actor Harry Crosby. Uh, got fake blood in his eye from having the arrow in his eye. And briefly lost his sight.

• 1:30:35Chris Ryan?

  Bing Crosby's kid too.

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is, but I'm so weird, I saw that, I did that in the research.

• 1:30:39Bill Simmons?

  Briefly lost his sight. And Kevin Bacon apparently claims that he gets asked to sign screenshots from his death scene in this movie more than all his other movies.

• 1:30:48Chris Ryan?

  That's funny.

• 1:30:48Speaker 01

  I, I have a half ass internet research that I found out as we were doing this podcast. Robbie Morgan, who played the girl at the beginning, what's her name again? Annie? She's married to Mark Wahlberg. The Mark Wahlberg that is the host of Temptation Island.

• 1:31:06Bill Simmons?

  Oh, my God, other Mark Wahlberg, wow.

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's married, she's been married to Mark Louis Wahlberg.

• 1:31:12Bill Simmons?

  Mark L. Wahlberg.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  Mark L. Wahlberg, Temptation Island dude, Antiques Roadshow guy, all of these different, since 1987, they've been married. She bought early on him.

• 1:31:23Chris Ryan?

  Temptation Island still cranking it out?

• 1:31:25Speaker 01

  I haven't heard about it in a while. It seems like Love Island marketing corrected it.

• 1:31:28Bill Simmons?

  Temptation Island still exists.

• 1:31:30Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:31:31Bill Simmons?

  Men are men, I've seen a couple of episodes.

• 1:31:32Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:31:33Bill Simmons?

  Bing, could you have hosted one of those shows?

• 1:31:35Speaker 01

  I would love to. I would love to, I'm not gonna lie.

• 1:31:37Bill Simmons?

  Were you going and be like, Chris, it seems like you and Phoebe are having some issues.

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. The rest of the, hey, the rest of the cast of New Bombshell has entered the villa, let's see how this twerk contest ends up. That's what this shit is about, you ever watch that shit? They see, they, they shaking ass and trying to like entice you, I, I watched it one time, I'm like, what is this y'all be looking at, man? This is like horny as fuck.

• 1:32:00Bill Simmons?

  I have some Boston friends who are upset about the, um, Love is Blind being in Boston, but not actually using real Boston people. So only like a couple of people that are actual Boston people.

• 1:32:09Chris Ryan?

  Have they gotten to the, uh, to the like out in Boston's episodes yet, or is it still in the pod?

• 1:32:15Bill Simmons?

  It's the next season.

• 1:32:15Speaker 01

  Well, they can't do Love is Blind in Boston.

• 1:32:17Bill Simmons?

  They're doing it in Boston, but I think there's a bunch of.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  Well, they can't use Boston people because if they end up with interracial couples, then you'll have riots in the street. Like, you have to be able to.

• 1:32:26Chris Ryan?

  Right into that.

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  It's like, they can't do it.

• 1:32:28Bill Simmons?

  What was that thinking? I should know by now.

• 1:32:30Speaker 01

  If they do it, Love is Blind in Boston.

• 1:32:31Bill Simmons?

  I should know at this point, like, what's gonna happen?

• 1:32:33Speaker 04

  Nothing is blind in Boston.

• 1:32:34Bill Simmons?

  God damn it.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  It can't be blind, right? They can't, they can't do it.

• 1:32:38Bill Simmons?

  Apex Mountain, Adrian King definitely. 1980 drowning movies.

• 1:32:43Chris Ryan?

  Is there another one?

• 1:32:44Bill Simmons?

  Ordinary People.

• 1:32:45Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Big drowning year.

• 1:32:48Speaker 04

  Big drowning year.

• 1:32:50Bill Simmons?

  Jason, no. Kevin Bacon, no. Summer campsite movies, I think probably Meatballs.

• 1:32:54Chris Ryan?

  This and Meatballs, yeah.

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  Meatballs, yeah.

• 1:32:56Bill Simmons?

  Halloween ripoff movies, this definitely.

• 1:32:58Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:32:59Bill Simmons?

  The Blairstown Diner, seemed great.

• 1:33:01Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:33:02Bill Simmons?

  Wouldn't mind getting some hash there. Strip Monopoly?

• 1:33:06Chris Ryan?

  Strip Monopoly for sure.

• 1:33:07Bill Simmons?

  I've never seen it again.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  I'm, yeah, I don't think this is the only time it happens.

• 1:33:09Bill Simmons?

  Monopoly's too long, you can't play Strip Monopoly.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  It's tough.

• 1:33:12Bill Simmons?

  It takes like four fucking hours to play Monopoly. I'm the fucking best at Monopoly, man.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  I would love to play.

• 1:33:18Bill Simmons?

  Rip your ass.

• 1:33:19Speaker 01

  I'm telling, I'm telling, I don't know.

• 1:33:20Bill Simmons?

  We can play at the new Sycamore office.

• 1:33:21Speaker 01

  We can play, bro, I'm gonna be real with you, I think if, if you ask around my friend group, and you, Ian, Gino, Ryan, Brian, Trey, all, we had a Monopoly phase, and it like threatened the friendships. I was going.

• 1:33:32Bill Simmons?

  Does get very personal.

• 1:33:33Chris Ryan?

  Cause you were the landlord.

• 1:33:34Speaker 01

  I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy. All of my politics go out the window when I'm playing Monopoly.

• 1:33:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:39Speaker 04

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:33:40Chris Ryan?

  The oligarch class comes in.

• 1:33:41Speaker 01

  Exactly, right away.

• 1:33:43Bill Simmons?

  Cruiser Hanks?

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  Oh, hold on, Apex Mountain, can I, one more dumb kids and horror movies? Are these the dumbest kids that's ever, ever lived in a horror movie? Are these the dumbest ones? I mean, I can make arguments for everyone else, Halloween, you going out is Halloween.

• 1:33:56Chris Ryan?

  I'd have to do some.

• 1:33:57Bill Simmons?

  I don't think the Halloween kids are dumb.

• 1:33:58Chris Ryan?

  I'd have to.

• 1:33:59Speaker 01

  I don't think they're dumb either.

• 1:33:59Chris Ryan?

  Dumb stat news for that, because I think Sleepaway Camp and like, there's a couple like really.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  These kids are morons, bro. Like, they are super.

• 1:34:07Bill Simmons?

  They're not scared enough from day one.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, like ridic, hey, I'm gonna go check it out, hey, I wanna come with, what the fuck you checking it out for?

• 1:34:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  Like, what, like, you.

• 1:34:16Bill Simmons?

  That's so weird, the generator went out.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, although lights are on at the archery range, what the fuck, like, is, is anybody gonna go get help?

• 1:34:24Bill Simmons?

  Where did Jack and Brenda go?

• 1:34:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, these, these, these motherfuckers are truly, truly imbeciles.

• 1:34:32Bill Simmons?

  Cruiser Hanks, Hanks.

• 1:34:33Chris Ryan?

  Hanks.

• 1:34:34Bill Simmons?

  Picky Knits. So, it, this movie makes it seem like more shit was going down at this campsite. Two murders, fires being set. Mom's never a suspect here?

• 1:34:47Chris Ryan?

  This is my, this is my big thing, is where, where is Pam in the intervening dead years while the camp is dormant? And then nobody in town is like, isn't it weird that like Pam always tweaks out? When they try to open the camp and then there's like a string of deaths that are pretty gruesome? And then Pam just goes back to work at like the CVS?

• 1:35:12Speaker 01

  Can, how, how many kids have to get killed at the camp for them to go no more camp?

• 1:35:17Bill Simmons?

  But how many kids did get killed? Do we actually know? Cause it seemed like there were fires and then everybody stayed away and didn't want to go.

• 1:35:22Chris Ryan?

  259 when she gets them the first time.

• 1:35:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:26Chris Ryan?

  And then they try to burn it down, right?

• 1:35:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:29Chris Ryan?

  And then she comes back in 80 when they try to reopen it. And then, so, but I understand maybe that's not the same sheriff or whatever, but it's like, it is, there is a consistent figure in the background.

• 1:35:40Bill Simmons?

  So we're at the Blairstown Diner with crazy Ralphs at one table.

• 1:35:44Chris Ryan?

  Oh, you know they're dragging Pam.

• 1:35:45Bill Simmons?

  Pam's eating eggs. Somebody's like, I heard somebody might be opening the new camp, and Pam's just like slamming her plate down. You fucking kidding me?

• 1:35:56Bill Simmons?

  I mean, Crazy Ralph, probably not as crazy as she. Why wasn't she Crazy Pam?

• 1:36:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:03Bill Simmons?

  The biggest picky nit is his mom of or he's athletic enough to pull off anything in this movie. Cause she's a terrible fighter.

• 1:36:09Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I have it written. I mean, it's like, I, I, she on peptides? I mean, she's going crazy.

• 1:36:16Chris Ryan?

  But she does get, this is the problem is that the fight between Alice and Pam is so bad. That you're like, how did Alice pull off any of what she did?

• 1:36:25Bill Simmons?

  It's definitely one of those fights where in the research, there was not a fight choreographer.

• 1:36:29Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:36:31Bill Simmons?

  They're like, just do this and then you do this.

• 1:36:35Chris Ryan?

  It's just like kicking at each other and then like she shoves Pam once and she like topples over like three times.

• 1:36:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:42Bill Simmons?

  My last one, Jason wasn't a good swimmer. So Pam tells us. So why the fuck was he swimming at night in the?

• 1:36:51Speaker 01

  In a goddamn open lake.

• 1:36:52Bill Simmons?

  The summer camp.

• 1:36:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:54Bill Simmons?

  Why is he out there? He doing?

• 1:36:55Speaker 01

  Cause you know what the real deal is, right? It's her fucking fault.

• 1:36:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Teach the kid how to swim.

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  It's her fucking fault.

• 1:37:01Bill Simmons?

  You're at a campsite with a lake? Your kid doesn't know how to swim?

• 1:37:04Speaker 01

  Control your kid.

• 1:37:04Bill Simmons?

  Tell the counselors.

• 1:37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, control like, like.

• 1:37:06Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  Fucking fault.

• 1:37:08Bill Simmons?

  Any other nitpicks?

• 1:37:09Chris Ryan?

  Nope.

• 1:37:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah?

• 1:37:10Chris Ryan?

  Wait, do I have any?

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  No, that's it.

• 1:37:12Bill Simmons?

  Sequel, prequel, streamer, All Black Cast, spinoff, remake, Untouchable.

• 1:37:16Chris Ryan?

  They've literally done all of it except for All Black Cast.

• 1:37:19Bill Simmons?

  And there's a prequel coming with Linda Carter Leaning.

• 1:37:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's that one about?

• 1:37:24Chris Ryan?

  I think it's about the interboating years.

• 1:37:25Bill Simmons?

  It's about Pam.

• 1:37:26Chris Ryan?

  Death through up to.

• 1:37:28Speaker 01

  But no Jason Voorhees?

• 1:37:30Chris Ryan?

  I think Jason, little kid Jason might be in the beginning of it.

• 1:37:34Bill Simmons?

  Pam, maybe we'll find out about Pam's marriage.

• 1:37:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:39Bill Simmons?

  Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans?

• 1:37:43Speaker 01

  That's gonna be funny.

• 1:37:44Bill Simmons?

  Dr. Chuck Nichols, Ted Levine? What do you have, CR?

• 1:37:48Chris Ryan?

  Dr. Chuck being like, ladies and gentlemen, my friend Pamela doesn't feel well, obviously.

• 1:37:58Chris Ryan?

  Go back to your dessert, your coffee.

• 1:38:03Bill Simmons?

  I have one.

• 1:38:04Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:38:07Bill Simmons?

  I gotta get serious for one second.

• 1:38:09Chris Ryan?

  This is Steve.

• 1:38:11Bill Simmons?

  I gotta say something about my friend, Jason Voorhees.

• 1:38:18Bill Simmons?

  This brother will not stop killing people.

• 1:38:22Bill Simmons?

  This is clearly a sickness. The man needs help.

• 1:38:29Bill Simmons?

  Stephen A. and Jason Voorhees.

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  Do Stephen A. Okay, so.

• 1:38:32Chris Ryan?

  Where's the Stephen A. clip where he's been speaking very silently?

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  Oh, he does it all the time.

• 1:38:36Chris Ryan?

  Is he doing that all the time now?

• 1:38:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he does. He does the, he lowers the voice to be like, I'm getting really serious.

• 1:38:42Speaker 01

  I got a different one for you.

• 1:38:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:44Speaker 01

  So Stephen A. and Jason Voorhees are in a media beef.

• 1:38:49Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 1:38:49Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, okay. And Stephen A. is threatening Jason Voorhees.

• 1:38:54Chris Ryan?

  You don't want me to bring out the receipts, Jason Voorhees?

• 1:38:57Speaker 01

  You want me to tell what I know from what's going on up at Camp Crystal Lake? You really wanna talk about that, Jason Voorhees?

• 1:39:05Bill Simmons?

  Do we wanna talk about bodies?

• 1:39:06Speaker 01

  You wanna talk about bodies?

• 1:39:08Chris Ryan?

  Cause I know where they're buried.

• 1:39:09Speaker 01

  I, I talked to Crazy Ralph. So you're like, that is like going back, you really want me to do that?

• 1:39:14Bill Simmons?

  You wanna talk about family, Jason?

• 1:39:16Chris Ryan?

  Then Voorhees goes on McAfee. So he's like in the back of a Toyota Corolla.

• 1:39:22Bill Simmons?

  Voorhees does the car wash. He's like, get up. He's at Big Day with Peter Schrager. Seven Dominic Foxworth.

• 1:39:30Bill Simmons?

  Just one Oscar who gets it, probably the score.

• 1:39:33Chris Ryan?

  I give it to Tom Savini, the, uh, the makeup guy. Cause he's gone on dad, like he worked with Romero. He's a, he's a legendary makeup and special effects guy. And then he's, he's in, uh, From Dust Till Dawn. Kind of a character actor.

• 1:39:46Bill Simmons?

  Probably an answerable questions. I only, my only one is if you're to assume that wasn't a dream at the end.

• 1:39:54Bill Simmons?

  And Jason's alive. But Kid Jason jumps out of the lake, but it's 22 years after Kid Jason died.

• 1:40:02Bill Simmons?

  Would Kid Jason have become an adult? What's the?

• 1:40:06Chris Ryan?

  So Kid Jason gets killed.

• 1:40:08Bill Simmons?

  Kid Jason comes out of the lake at the end.

• 1:40:11Chris Ryan?

  And looks like a kid.

• 1:40:11Bill Simmons?

  That's a kid. That's like a 13 year old kid.

• 1:40:13Speaker 01

  Like actually the guy who played him in the movie, he like calls him, he's at a band called First Jason.

• 1:40:19Bill Simmons?

  And the director was gonna cast his son as young Jason. So clearly they want the kid to be a teenager. But it's 22 years after he drowned.

• 1:40:27Chris Ryan?

  So you think the water is like keeping him in perpetual childhood?

• 1:40:33Bill Simmons?

  So it, it feeds toward this was a dream, which means everything that happens from part two on is supernatural.

• 1:40:40Speaker 01

  The guy's name, I wanna shout him out.

• 1:40:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:41Speaker 01

  First Jason, okay, go ahead, my bad.

• 1:40:42Bill Simmons?

  But in part two, he's a, he's a grown adult.

• 1:40:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he's yoked up.

• 1:40:47Bill Simmons?

  So it's possible she dreamed.

• 1:40:49Chris Ryan?

  He's doing, it's, it's, it's bulking season for Jason.

• 1:40:51Bill Simmons?

  He's fucking jacked.

• 1:40:53Speaker 01

  Creatine.

• 1:40:53Bill Simmons?

  It's possible she dreamed that little kid pulled her into the.

• 1:40:58Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:40:58Bill Simmons?

  Lake, but it was actually adult Jason.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  Oh, so.

• 1:41:02Bill Simmons?

  So in her head, it's a kid, but it's actually an adult.

• 1:41:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think this is where the evil part of Friday Night Lights, like in the same way that it happens in Halloween. Like there's just like. Sorry, Friday the 13th.

• 1:41:15Bill Simmons?

  I remember that season. Is that when Landry killed the guy?

• 1:41:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:20Bill Simmons?

  Well, this leads to the other part. So Kid Jason in part two is 35 years old. Cause it's 23 years later after he drowned as a teenager.

• 1:41:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:32Bill Simmons?

  One of the great late bloomer athletes we've had.

• 1:41:36Bill Simmons?

  Right? It's like, sometimes this will happen in boxing where the guy will come in, he's like 27. Uh, he's a young 27. That usually means he was in jail for like six years.

• 1:41:44Chris Ryan?

  But do you think it's a matter of like finding the right coordinator?

• 1:41:47Bill Simmons?

  Jason?

• 1:41:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, like Darnold.

• 1:41:49Bill Simmons?

  Hard to, like, it's a little Kurt Warner-ish. Jason was playing the, Jason was playing arena football for years, waiting for his moment. Uh, memorabilia you'd want most from this movie, the welcome to Camp Crystal Lake sign's pretty nice.

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 1:42:03Bill Simmons?

  Nice, big fat one.

• 1:42:04Chris Ryan?

  The Monopoly board?

• 1:42:06Bill Simmons?

  Strip Monopoly.

• 1:42:07Speaker 01

  I, you know what I want? I want the machete. Because the machete is franchise.

• 1:42:11Bill Simmons?

  Decapitation machete.

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's like the machete is going to go on to becoming iconic. Having that machete would be awesome.

• 1:42:16Bill Simmons?

  Finstock, Mr. Miyagi, where best, worst life lesson? Maybe re, don't reopen Camp Blood?

• 1:42:21Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:42:23Bill Simmons?

  Anything called Camp Blood? Maybe not?

• 1:42:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, also just like.

• 1:42:26Bill Simmons?

  Not enough times passed? How about, not enough times passed?

• 1:42:28Chris Ryan?

  Read the Yelp reviews before you, uh, accept a job being a cook at a camp.

• 1:42:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen to the people in a diner that tell you about the horrible history of a place where children get killed routinely.

• 1:42:38Bill Simmons?

  Double feature choice two?

• 1:42:40Chris Ryan?

  Yes. For sure.

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  I went Nightmare on Elm Street two, which is an underrated Nightmare on Elm Street. Remember that one?

• 1:42:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  Kind of like the one, the homoerotic one?

• 1:42:50Chris Ryan?

  Two's a good, it's a really good, I mean, that would be a longer evening, but it's a really nice bookend for this one. Like you just get the full Pamela to Jason transition.

• 1:42:59Bill Simmons?

  One of the tougher who won the movies we've ever had.

• 1:43:02Speaker 01

  Almost impossible.

• 1:43:03Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna throw out Steve Miner, the director of two and three, who's an associate producer on one.

• 1:43:10Bill Simmons?

  And fell into two.

• 1:43:11Chris Ryan?

  And winds up becoming like, not only like the guy who sort of shepherds this into becoming a big franchise, but also then parlay's that into being a pretty prolific Hollywood director.

• 1:43:23Speaker 01

  I, I really couldn't.

• 1:43:26Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Jason.

• 1:43:27Speaker 01

  Jason.

• 1:43:27Chris Ryan?

  Jason is an idea?

• 1:43:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:29Bill Simmons?

  It's like Jason.

• 1:43:30Chris Ryan?

  But Jason, the idea's not even in this.

• 1:43:31Speaker 01

  I mean, like Jason's mom, maybe like it was just, it was almost impossible.

• 1:43:34Chris Ryan?

  Music, I don't know.

• 1:43:35Bill Simmons?

  Ripping off Halloween, maybe is the winner of this movie?

• 1:43:37Speaker 01

  Friday the 13th is the winner because.

• 1:43:40Bill Simmons?

  It's a franchise.

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  The franchise.

• 1:43:41Chris Ryan?

  The IP.

• 1:43:42Speaker 01

  The IP, yeah.

• 1:43:43Bill Simmons?

  Craig, what do you got?

• 1:43:44Speaker 04

  I wanna show respect to this movie because I know movies like this pave the way, but you know, I, when you go back and you watch the Bob Pettit highlights.

• 1:43:53Speaker 01

  It's not like you're talking about Bob Cousy. I was just about to say that.

• 1:43:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, sometimes it doesn't hold up.

• 1:43:56Chris Ryan?

  So you're saying Pamela was playing against plumbers and carpenters?

• 1:43:59Speaker 04

  I couldn't get that with this one. It just.

• 1:44:01Bill Simmons?

  I don't blame you.

• 1:44:03Speaker 04

  I, I, I don't think any of the cast really popped either. No one really stood out in this movie to me. Like sometimes there's an actor or two, you're like, they're really bringing it. I feel like no one really like elevated. Uh, and I, Killer Mom, Killer Mommy, just, I felt so, so the rug was pulled. I was expecting Jason the whole time. And then the final fight with the mom, I'm like, ah.

• 1:44:21Bill Simmons?

  Oh. Do you feel like we'll continue?

• 1:44:24Chris Ryan?

  I didn't think he was gonna like it.

• 1:44:25Speaker 01

  I, it's almost an impossible movie for someone from his generation.

• 1:44:28Bill Simmons?

  Also, if you had the expectation of it's a Jason movie and then Jason's not actually in it.

• 1:44:32Speaker 04

  I'm watching like a 65 year old woman fight at the end, like this is the final moment.

• 1:44:35Bill Simmons?

  But the final girl is probably one of the worst final girls.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  Listen to Craig over here.

• 1:44:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:40Speaker 01

  What the fuck am I watching The View?

• 1:44:41Chris Ryan?

  It's hard to come off, it's hard to come off of Texas Chainsaw.

• 1:44:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:46Chris Ryan?

  And Sally.

• 1:44:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:47Chris Ryan?

  And then go to.

• 1:44:48Speaker 04

  I'm watching Joy Behar fight over here.

• 1:44:50Speaker 01

  What the fuck am I, why am I watching?

• 1:44:51Speaker 04

  I will say that the final scene saves the movie to me. Like I thought this movie was like, I'd give it like a four or five. And then that scene at the end is genuinely great.

• 1:44:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:58Speaker 04

  And bumps it up two points.

• 1:45:00Bill Simmons?

  I wonder, it's on Netflix. I hope it's not the streaming thing where the movie's about to end and they give you like the 10 second countdown before they send you the next thing.

• 1:45:08Chris Ryan?

  No, they only, they usually wait for the credits to do that.

• 1:45:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I hope they wait till.

• 1:45:11Chris Ryan?

  Uh, will we continue to do landmark horror or do you wanna do more modern stuff? What are you thinking with the rest of October?

• 1:45:18Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Haven't, haven't, uh, haven't unlocked it.

• 1:45:23Speaker 04

  This is nice, cause this is palatable stuff for me. You know, it's not, it's not Hereditary.

• 1:45:26Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's also 87. Yeah, we're like, if we did Midsommar next, Craig would show up.

• 1:45:31Speaker 04

  Although I've heard Hereditary is much scarier than Midsommar.

• 1:45:35Chris Ryan?

  Uh, yeah, it's a little bit more of like a horror.

• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  Do, do you guys do?

• 1:45:38Bill Simmons?

  Here comes the telephone pole bang!

• 1:45:41Speaker 01

  Do you guys do like the, the trash, more accessible horror? So you'll never see like, you'll never see Hellraiser on here. Like Bill, you didn't watch those? Hellraiser, Leprechaun, all of that dumbass shit.

• 1:45:52Bill Simmons?

  I never.

• 1:45:53Chris Ryan?

  The gate.

• 1:45:54Bill Simmons?

  Am I missing Hellraiser? I never got into it.

• 1:45:56Speaker 01

  Scary to me. It was like, it was, it was one of those ones at, at a certain point, it flirted with being a little bit more like relevant than it actually became. It didn't stand the test of time, but like in the going to the movie to rent movies era, like Pinhead was one of those ones.

• 1:46:14Chris Ryan?

  I dig them. I don't think those have had the revival.

• 1:46:16Bill Simmons?

  I agree.

• 1:46:17Chris Ryan?

  I mean, Friday, probably because of its, uh, availability on like multiple streaming services, I think it's just kinda lived on.

• 1:46:23Bill Simmons?

  It's funny that this one did the best of all the Friday the 13ths.

• 1:46:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:27Bill Simmons?

  Like it made the most money out of all of them.

• 1:46:29Speaker 01

  Even when Jason came along.

• 1:46:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:31Speaker 04

  Hmm. Capitalizing off of Halloween, I guess, momentum.

• 1:46:35Bill Simmons?

  People were ready. They wanted to go to these.

• 1:46:37Chris Ryan?

  A fever pitch. Like you gotta go see this movie. It's crazy. Yeah.

• 1:46:42Bill Simmons?

  Ben Lathan?

• 1:46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:43Bill Simmons?

  Thank you.

• 1:46:43Speaker 01

  No problem.

• 1:46:44Bill Simmons?

  CR, pleasure as always. Craig, thank you. Thanks to, uh, Eduardo and Kahal and everybody else at The Ringer. And, uh, we'll see you next week in the rewatchings.