"Jonah Hill LIVE"

Don’t have a cow, man: it’s Jonah Hill... LIVE at the Avalon. Radio from space, teenagers in Hollywood, cool neighbors, and San Diego. “You couldn’t shake funny if you tried,” on an all-new SmartLess (btw did we say LIVE!?).

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is brought to you in part by SkinnyPop popcorn, which, yes, is exactly what we were inhaling backstage at the live show.

• 0:07Jason Bateman?

  True story. There is something very satisfying about a snack that actually delivers and doesn't come with a paragraph of ingredients.

• 0:12Will Arnett?

  SkinnyPop keeps it simple. Real ingredients, classic popcorn. Nothing weird, nothing you have to Google.

• 0:17Sean Hayes?

  The original is light and airy, but still hits the spot. And if you want to mix it up, they got white cheddar, butter, sweet and salty kettle.

• 0:24Jason Bateman?

  It's one of those snacks that works for anything. Watching something, traveling, pretending you're only going to have a handful.

• 0:31Will Arnett?

  SkinnyPop. Deliciously popped, perfectly salted, popular for a reason. This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Ashley.

• 0:40Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 0:40Will Arnett?

  The brand that helped turn our live event stage into a fully styled living space.

• 0:45Jason Bateman?

  And it's not just about looks. Their stuff is built to hold up to the real life with durable materials and easy to clean fabric.

• 0:52Sean Hayes?

  For the live show, we were on their Mod Max sofa. It's modular, so you can kind of move it around however you want depending on your space. Honestly, that setup worked perfectly for the show.

• 1:03Will Arnett?

  I'm not kidding. I would have taken that whole setup home. It looked great, felt very comfortable, you know?

• 1:07Jason Bateman?

  Really did feel like we were just hanging out in someone's living room.

• 1:10Will Arnett?

  Ashley is all about style that's made for real life with white glove delivery right to your room of choice.

• 1:14Sean Hayes?

  Visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style.

• 1:47Will Arnett?

  Welcome to Smartless Live at the Avalon, Hollywood.

• 2:20Jason Bateman?

  Will!

• 2:24Will Arnett?

  Sorry, hi.

• 2:35Jason Bateman?

  That was pathetic.

• 2:36Will Arnett?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 2:37Jason Bateman?

  Did you see the way he tried to come out last?

• 2:38Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 2:40Jason Bateman?

  And make some big entrance?

• 2:41Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 2:41Jason Bateman?

  What happened?

• 2:42Will Arnett?

  I got, I got, I got caught up back there. Anyway, hey, I'm here now.

• 2:45Sean Hayes?

  Hey.

• 2:45Will Arnett?

  Hi.

• 2:46Sean Hayes?

  Well, hey, welcome, Phil, to, uh, Los Angeles.

• 2:53Will Arnett?

  One more crack at it. Get one more crack at it. Let him have one more crack.

• 2:56Sean Hayes?

  Um, guys, we're so excited we're here and thank you for coming out tonight. This is very exciting for us.

• 3:01Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 3:03Jason Bateman?

  I gave Sean a big smack across the face right before we came out. And I'm just waiting for it to hit me back. So just pardon me if I'm over here.

• 3:11Sean Hayes?

  It was so loud, I can't believe you heard it.

• 3:13Jason Bateman?

  It's a little bit red over here.

• 3:14Sean Hayes?

  I'm sure it is.

• 3:15Will Arnett?

  It's become kind of a tradition before...

• 3:17Jason Bateman?

  This is how we'll do it. We'll do it, no!

• 3:20Jason Bateman?

  This is how we'll do it. We'll just keep him in a clinch.

• 3:23Sean Hayes?

  It was so fucking hard.

• 3:24Jason Bateman?

  Fix your mic.

• 3:25Sean Hayes?

  Like, I got...

• 3:26Jason Bateman?

  Alright, so we're very thrilled to be here.

• 3:29Will Arnett?

  The rest of the show's gonna be less violent.

• 3:30Jason Bateman?

  Less violent.

• 3:31Sean Hayes?

  Okay, let's do it.

• 3:32Jason Bateman?

  Very happy to be here.

• 3:33Sean Hayes?

  Let's get to it.

• 3:34Jason Bateman?

  This is our second time here at the Avalon. Thank you for having us.

• 3:38Sean Hayes?

  Let's sit. Come on, let's sit.

• 3:41Jason Bateman?

  Thank you, guys, for coming. I'm gonna do a little set.

• 3:43Will Arnett?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, go for it. This should be good.

• 3:47Jason Bateman?

  Now, um, thank you, guys, for coming.

• 3:49Will Arnett?

  Look at these, we got our nice, uh, we, we wanna thank our sponsors. We got a nice, uh, stuff to sit on from Ashley.

• 3:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 3:54Will Arnett?

  We got some nice stuff from...

• 3:55Jason Bateman?

  I mean, it's real homey.

• 3:56Will Arnett?

  From Skinny Pop. Right?

• 3:58Jason Bateman?

  It's like a little living room set.

• 4:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah, who wants to...

• 4:01Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, t-shirts.

• 4:04Will Arnett?

  Got a couple t-shirts here. Look alive, everybody.

• 4:07Jason Bateman?

  No fighting.

• 4:11Jason Bateman?

  We're sorry, there's no, there's...

• 4:15Will Arnett?

  I don't know.

• 4:18Will Arnett?

  Close, very close.

• 4:21Jason Bateman?

  No, I couldn't get it up there.

• 4:23Will Arnett?

  We got more coming, we got more where that came from.

• 4:25Jason Bateman?

  That hurt.

• 4:27Sean Hayes?

  Jason leaves tomorrow.

• 4:29Jason Bateman?

  I leave, yes. I'm going to go work tomorrow.

• 4:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Jason Bateman?

  Because this isn't work, this is fun. I'm gonna go, I have to leave my family for a good long stretch.

• 4:41Sean Hayes?

  Now you know how my dad feels.

• 4:42Jason Bateman?

  Huh, yeah.

• 4:45Jason Bateman?

  This is, it's high-class problems, and I'm not complaining. But it's hard because I've been home for like, a year.

• 4:54Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 4:55Jason Bateman?

  Now I'm not gonna be home for three weeks.

• 4:57Sean Hayes?

  But it's exciting because you're gonna direct a film, that he, right?

• 5:02Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Sean Hayes?

  And it's very, to us, it's very thrilling. To you, it's work, but to us, it's very thrilling that you're gonna get behind the camera again and wow us with this other talent that you have that not a lot of people have. And it's very exciting.

• 5:17Will Arnett?

  I think everybody's happy that you're going behind the camera again, you know? I think you can make, because you're a good director.

• 5:23Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Right, that wasn't a compliment, was it? Did he sneak in an insult?

• 5:28Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 5:28Jason Bateman?

  But you just got back from working away from home for a long time, but you had Scotty with you, so all you missed was Ricky.

• 5:34Will Arnett?

  What a show!

• 5:37Sean Hayes?

  Yes, I was, we were gone for three months, we just got back last week. And, but Amanda will be with you in New York, right?

• 5:43Jason Bateman?

  No, she's gonna be here. Franny's gonna be with me after a little while. And then Amanda and Maple are gonna come out for a little bit.

• 5:52Will Arnett?

  You know what, just email me the itinerary, we're good.

• 5:56Jason Bateman?

  What did you, what did you end up doing with your dog when you were in New York for so long?

• 6:00Sean Hayes?

  We left the dog, nobody knows, actually. The dog is still missing. No, that, we, we left, put the dog in a, what's it called? Were you aboard them?

• 6:08Jason Bateman?

  Prison?

• 6:10Sean Hayes?

  No, when you board them.

• 6:12Jason Bateman?

  No, I'm just saying what it felt like for the dog.

• 6:14Sean Hayes?

  No, we, we, yeah, it's cost a fortune, but he was with other dogs and he could play and he was good.

• 6:21Jason Bateman?

  He seemed happy.

• 6:22Sean Hayes?

  He seemed happy when we talked to him on the phone, yeah. No, he was good.

• 6:25Will Arnett?

  Are you guys just meeting for the first time? What's happening? This is the weirdest, I'm so far away.

• 6:31Sean Hayes?

  I know, well, it's different than the podcast.

• 6:33Jason Bateman?

  We are gonna have a guest that's gonna come out here in a second, so that's why we're all separated.

• 6:37Will Arnett?

  We do have a guest. Sean and I don't know who the guest is.

• 6:40Jason Bateman?

  I really don't. He's my guest, it is a he.

• 6:42Sean Hayes?

  Wait, but wait.

• 6:43Will Arnett?

  We never know, we truly never know who the guest, every once in a while, somebody who on our...

• 6:49Sean Hayes?

  Except for like the presidents of the United States.

• 6:51Will Arnett?

  The presidents we knew, yeah. But, but we don't, we really don't know, and so it's always a surprise. And we do never talk about what we're gonna talk about.

• 7:00Jason Bateman?

  The difference with this, though, is that usually you guys, we guys, I don't do it, but you guys, when I bring on a guest, when we do...

• 7:08Sean Hayes?

  Get in the microphone.

• 7:09Jason Bateman?

  I see you, I see you guys typing on your computer, quickly Googling that person as soon as they come on. No, no, but not because I don't know, but like to like come up with like questions and stuff like, you're not gonna have that.

• 7:21Will Arnett?

  That's fucking bullshit.

• 7:22Jason Bateman?

  No, it is bullshit.

• 7:23Will Arnett?

  I don't do that.

• 7:24Jason Bateman?

  I see you typing away.

• 7:25Will Arnett?

  Sean definitely does, Sean definitely does that.

• 7:27Sean Hayes?

  I do it, but if I don't know the person, it's like if a sports person comes on.

• 7:31Jason Bateman?

  You just raw dog it?

• 7:32Will Arnett?

  I do not do that. How dare you accuse me of that? What are you basing that on?

• 7:35Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 7:36Jason Bateman?

  Well, then what are you playing with?

• 7:38Will Arnett?

  I'm messaging people, dude, I'm busy.

• 7:43Jason Bateman?

  Yes, you're just gonna have to wing it with this fella.

• 7:45Will Arnett?

  I mean, I don't, I don't know who it is, and so...

• 7:48Jason Bateman?

  You're gonna like him. I like him. He's a friend of mine.

• 7:51Sean Hayes?

  Wait, can I, before, before that, can I tell, I just have a little something I brought with me that I wanna show everybody.

• 7:57Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy, he loves to prepare.

• 7:58Will Arnett?

  We gotta watch Sean's reel.

• 8:00Sean Hayes?

  Yes. This is... So, so today, today, only eight hours ago, at 11:05 a.m. this morning, Scotty and I chatted with a friend of ours.

• 8:11Jason Bateman?

  Did you just say shatted?

• 8:13Sean Hayes?

  Chatted.

• 8:13Jason Bateman?

  Chatted, sorry.

• 8:16Jason Bateman?

  You can't hear ourselves up here, I'm so sorry.

• 8:19Sean Hayes?

  Hi, we brought a friend over and we just shat everywhere.

• 8:21Jason Bateman?

  At 11:05, we both happened to shat.

• 8:27Sean Hayes?

  No, no, we chatted with a friend of ours and a friend of ours and a friend of the podcast. And it's pretty unbelievable. And we cut together, Scotty cut together this 20 second video to show you what we did only eight hours ago today. This is what happened.

• 8:45Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 8:46Jason Bateman?

  Are we going to the tape?

• 8:47Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 8:48Will Arnett?

  We haven't seen this.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Hello to everybody at the Avalon.

• 8:54Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 8:55Sean Hayes?

  Isn't that crazy? Look at her shirt.

• 8:59Sean Hayes?

  That is, that is so cool.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Hey, can you see my reflection?

• 9:05Sean Hayes?

  Yes! That is wild.

• 9:07Jason Bateman?

  Just looking at the shirt.

• 9:09Sean Hayes?

  Look at that.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Okay, ready?

• 9:11Sean Hayes?

  Yep.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  I'm running into our kitchen right now, so this is like our kitchen table. This is our, this is how we warm up food. Oh, we got some garlic and onions and some fresh fruit.

• 9:24Sean Hayes?

  That's gonna make the place smell real good.

• 9:32Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 9:34Sean Hayes?

  That's amazing.

• 9:41Sean Hayes?

  Isn't that amazing?

• 9:42Will Arnett?

  Wow!

• 9:42Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 9:45Sean Hayes?

  So we-

• 9:45Will Arnett?

  That is so cool.

• 9:46Sean Hayes?

  That was, that was this morning and, and she's like, do you wanna just chat? I'm like, on the fucking International Space Station? Yeah! So for 45 minutes, we were just chatting. She showed us around, she showed us the Russian astronauts and the Japanese section and the, I don't know, it was crazy.

• 10:02Will Arnett?

  That's so, how cool is that to see our government, you know, tax dollars at work?

• 10:08Will Arnett?

  But you're doing smartless.

• 10:09Jason Bateman?

  Did you say 45 minutes you talked?

• 10:10Sean Hayes?

  45 minutes we hung out with her today. Isn't that cool?

• 10:14Jason Bateman?

  Was there a phone number?

• 10:16Sean Hayes?

  No, she, she, she sends us a link to like, not Zoom, but something else. But wait, yeah, Google Meet or whatever. So wait, I wrote down these things. She, they, they are moving five miles a second.

• 10:33Sean Hayes?

  And they rotate the Earth every 90 minutes. That's how fast they're going. Isn't that crazy? And I said, "What experience are you working on?" She said, "Something like astronauts get blood clots, so they're doing some of that." And they're growing crops like Matt Damon in The Martian. And they're DNA therapeutics, protein crystals, future propulsion systems. But what's fascinating is that she said, "When you go up there, something happens to the back of your eyes because there's no gravity." And it flattened the back of her eyes, so she doesn't need glasses on Earth anymore. Isn't that amazing? She doesn't need glasses. And so she has 20/20 vision.

• 11:07Will Arnett?

  What's that book you're reading? I just saw you.

• 11:11Sean Hayes?

  It's my phone. Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you because that happened today.

• 11:16Jason Bateman?

  How are you... Because I remember when she was on the podcast.

• 11:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 11:20Jason Bateman?

  We must have covered this. But remind me.

• 11:22Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:23Jason Bateman?

  How are you friends with an astronaut?

• 11:25Sean Hayes?

  Because of the podcast.

• 11:28Will Arnett?

  What's with the look on your face? It's so shitty.

• 11:30Jason Bateman?

  But this guy doesn't...

• 11:31Will Arnett?

  Why are you mad at him?

• 11:32Jason Bateman?

  He doesn't know anybody. He doesn't... He never leaves his house. He barely knows his dog. He knows Scotty pretty good.

• 11:39Will Arnett?

  What happens is, he meets people, and they want to continue to have a relationship because he's nice. He doesn't have a shitty look on his face.

• 11:49Sean Hayes?

  And by the way, you just described yourself and you were describing me.

• 11:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, isn't that wild? Anyway. Isn't that cool?

• 11:56Jason Bateman?

  I just can't believe you can actually communicate. So she's currently on the space station.

• 12:00Sean Hayes?

  Till September.

• 12:02Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 12:03Sean Hayes?

  And I'm complaining about going to Jersey for three weeks.

• 12:06Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Sean Hayes?

  Exactly. But we can talk to her. Again, like, we can hop on there. I asked her tons of questions. She loves it. They love it.

• 12:13Will Arnett?

  JB, were you thinking about, like, how fluid would move differently if you were up there, like, in your face and stuff?

• 12:19Sean Hayes?

  No, you do look puffy when they do those little hits from out of space. I wouldn't be into it.

• 12:25Will Arnett?

  No, no.

• 12:26Sean Hayes?

  I just do radio from up there.

• 12:28Jason Bateman?

  But it does. It lifts.

• 12:31Jason Bateman?

  Sorry guys, camera's not working again.

• 12:35Will Arnett?

  Radio from space!

• 12:37Jason Bateman?

  No, I don't care about, this is just a bit. I don't care about that stuff.

• 12:41Sean Hayes?

  Alright, so, sorry.

• 12:42Jason Bateman?

  No vanity.

• 12:44Will Arnett?

  Sean, do you have any more bits, any more stuff for us?

• 12:46Jason Bateman?

  Any more pre-tapes, Sean?

• 12:49Sean Hayes?

  I always have tons of stuff.

• 12:50Will Arnett?

  I just said that we never do anything planned and then you went to a video package.

• 12:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure, I wanted to make sure I left space for her, but I didn't know how to plan it.

• 13:05Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god, I can't find my intro that I wrote for the frickin' guest.

• 13:11Will Arnett?

  This is so real.

• 13:12Jason Bateman?

  Michael, bring me those cards down, please, god damn it.

• 13:18Will Arnett?

  So what else is going on?

• 13:22Jason Bateman?

  Unreal.

• 13:23Will Arnett?

  You know, I just quit smoking recently.

• 13:27Jason Bateman?

  No you didn't.

• 13:28Sean Hayes?

  Wait, what? You did?

• 13:30Will Arnett?

  Smokey, is there one?

• 13:31Sean Hayes?

  Mabel Bateman!

• 13:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Mabel!

• 13:35Jason Bateman?

  Mabel Bateman!

• 13:39Jason Bateman?

  Alright, this is gonna be a disaster tonight.

• 13:43Jason Bateman?

  Alright, freestyling now, intro, the guest.

• 13:47Sean Hayes?

  It can be short.

• 13:50Jason Bateman?

  This guy...

• 13:53Jason Bateman?

  I'm an actor, it's supposed to be written for me and then I sing.

• 13:56Will Arnett?

  I can see your sweat.

• 13:58Jason Bateman?

  I know, I'm in deep sweat right now.

• 14:01Jason Bateman?

  Okay, so, this is a fella.

• 14:07Jason Bateman?

  He is extremely, I think he's one of the greatest comedic actors we have. Full stop, okay? That's A, that's a good start, right? See me vamping? But he doesn't just make you laugh, he makes you cry sometimes. Look, what else, all the phones are up, what's going on? Feel like Ariana Grande.

• 14:30Jason Bateman?

  He's been nominated twice for an Oscar for fancy movies, right? Not just the comedy stuff, this guy's a big shot. He's also writes and directs movies, done a few of those. What is it, Ryan Reynolds? No, hasn't written or directed a film yet. And I have found that while he's incredibly talented, his heart's even bigger because we've become friends over the past few years.

• 15:00Jason Bateman?

  You know him from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

• 15:06Jason Bateman?

  You know him from Knocked Up, Forty Year Old Virgin. You know him from Superbad, Moneyball, Wolf of Wall Street. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Jonah Hill.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Of course, I'm sweating. I'm like, what is he gonna say, dude?

• 15:44Speaker 04

  I was already nervous. I'm like, oh, he already fucking.

• 15:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah, what were you thinking, Jonah? What were you thinking backstage when Bateman blew it with the intro?

• 15:54Speaker 04

  It's just a total wipeout. I'm just coming back out here, like, in crowds and stuff. My wife's here. I'm like, and I'm like, okay, Jason's gonna hook me up. And he's like, oh, I don't have an intro. So I'm sitting back there going like, he's gonna go, he's a guy that I'm friends with, that I text with, and like, I was like, oh, fuck. He probably wrote something nice and now it's gonna get like dumbed down to, you know.

• 16:23Jason Bateman?

  You know how to improvise. I'm all right at the improvising, but you're the Mac Daddy. You and Vince Vaughn, no one better.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Brilliant.

• 16:31Jason Bateman?

  Ever.

• 16:33Jason Bateman?

  All right, so, right, so you're not in front of crowds all the time. You're not up in LA. You're down in San Diego for the most part now.

• 16:40Sean Hayes?

  Oh, you live in San Diego?

• 16:41Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. So, okay, so, real quick, before we go any further, my wife is here, my best friend and business partner, Matt Dines, is here. Shout out to my beautiful wife, Liv. Where is she? Oh, what's up, baby? And then, so I live in a very small town in San Diego, and it's amazing, and my neighbors are incredible people. And when we had our first kid, we moved out there three years ago.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  My neighbors are so cool. I wanted to leave LA and raise a family outside of Los Angeles. And away from entertainment, so I could maybe come back and then, you know, go back and forth. And my neighbors are so cool. They never like treat me weird or ask me about my job or anything. And my neighbor is one of my great friends, Dr. Sean.

• 17:29Jason Bateman?

  You're welcome.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  He never asked, he's here tonight.

• 17:33Will Arnett?

  Whoa.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  But hold on. He never bothered me or was like, oh, what's this person like? And then like after like a year, we were in the sauna, just chilling, like two dads. And he goes, he goes, can I ask you one question? And I was like, yeah, sure, man. And he's like, is Jason Bateman a cool guy?

• 17:52Speaker 04

  And that was his one question about show business. And I was like, yeah, he's an amazing guy. And he goes, he's like, he's like, it's fucking cool. I'm a big fan of his. So shout out to Dr. Sean and Dr. Bob. And Heidi and Laura, I love you guys.

• 18:09Will Arnett?

  You know what? It sounds like JB, you might be able to get in that sauna with these guys.

• 18:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, listen, I love a good sauna.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  For one more.

• 18:16Will Arnett?

  What do you think? Dr. John, you think JB is good in the sauna?

• 18:19Jason Bateman?

  I get super nice in the shits.

• 18:24Jason Bateman?

  Jonah?

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, nice to see you all. Thanks for, uh, thanks for having me.

• 18:30Jason Bateman?

  Jonah, thank you for doing this. This is a very easy no. And you said yes.

• 18:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:37Jason Bateman?

  You know, you could just say, oh, I'm down in San Diego now.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, we drove in today. It was awesome.

• 18:43Sean Hayes?

  Now, will you stay overnight or will you drive back?

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're staying at a hotel. We brought both our kids.

• 18:48Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  We have a new little baby who's like, uh, just a new, brand new baby. And then we have an almost three year old, both boys.

• 18:55Sean Hayes?

  That's so nice.

• 18:56Jason Bateman?

  So now, what do you miss about LA? When you come up, what do you like to do?

• 19:00Speaker 04

  Oh, you know, nothing.

• 19:01Jason Bateman?

  Universal City Walk.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  I grew up here, it's, LA was such a cool place to grow up in the 90s because you could like, you know, you could go skateboard downtown, or you could sneak into a movie premiere, or you could go sneak into a comedy club and see like Chris Rock or some, you know, you had access to like show business stuff, but you had access to like punk and skating and graffiti and all the like naughty stuff and there was no internet. It was just so awesome and it was-

• 19:32Jason Bateman?

  You were skating, right? Cause your first film, Mid 90s, which is awesome, that like, you certainly were at least familiar with the skating culture. Do you know your way around a skate park?

• 19:41Speaker 04

  I mean, yeah. I still skateboard every day, like-

• 19:44Jason Bateman?

  Come on, you do? Really? Okay, cause my daughter Maple is, I took her to the skate park this morning, Pedlo over there in the valley. She's working on Pop Shovitz, Ollie's. She just dropped in last weekend.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  Amazing. You're already better than I ever was. When I say I skateboard every day, now with my son, we surf skate, which is like way easier. It's like, I don't do tricks or anything anymore. I'm too old. I'm 42.

• 20:14Jason Bateman?

  So surf skate means you're on a longboard and you just kinda cruise?

• 20:16Speaker 04

  Let's not go crazy. I'm not on a longboard, Jason.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  I'm on a shorter board, but yeah.

• 20:24Jason Bateman?

  So you're part of that skate culture just a little bit?

• 20:26Speaker 04

  I loved it. Yeah, it was amazing. Like anything skating, hip hop and comedy when I was a kid, I was like, anything about any of it, all I could-

• 20:35Jason Bateman?

  Did you cross paths with Spike Jonah at all back in the day?

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Well, I did a ton and Spike is my biggest mentor and one of my best friends.

• 20:42Jason Bateman?

  Incredible director. What a nice guy, too.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  He's like one of the most amazing people and before I directed Mid 90s, I wrote Mid 90s at his apartment.

• 20:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 20:51Speaker 04

  And New York. We were both living in New York and I basically spent like five years-

• 20:58Speaker 04

  You know, after kind of, what was it like? I've been gone for a while, so I'm kind of coming back. And I'm like excited, cuz I got all like serious for a while. And, um, and I wasn't that happy. I wasn't that happy. And then I met, I had my family and I got happy. And now all I want to do is be funny again, you know? So like, it's, uh...

• 21:20Will Arnett?

  You were always funny.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  It's a friggin' bust to just like, that's why I said yes. I'm like, I wanna go fucking be funny in front of a crowd. And that'd be awesome, you know?

• 21:28Jason Bateman?

  But the humor, do you find that the humor's coming from a more substantial place now? That it's, I mean, you're still, you couldn't shake funny if you tried. But now you've got, um, a whole deeper well of, of reflection and knowing yourself more. And you've, you've peeled the onion. And now you've got a bunch of other stuff to draw upon to feed your humor, yes?

• 21:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, I mean, speak for me, that's fine. Um, but...

• 21:57Jason Bateman?

  That's my special, to tell them.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  Hey guys, I don't need to be here, there's no intro. And I just drive back to San Diego and go fuck myself.

• 22:02Jason Bateman?

  I put the question and the answer in it, and then I say...

• 22:05Will Arnett?

  He could've just, he could've just zoomed, he could've zoomed in. We could've just sent him.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Totally. No, that is a good, that's a good...

• 22:11Jason Bateman?

  Thank you, next question.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  No, but it's more like, um, like if you're bummed, you don't feel like being that funny, right? And if you're happy, the first thing I thought about when I got like, like, had my kids and was so stoked, it was like, uh... I, I connected to back when I was just like 12 and I was just being funny for fun.

• 22:35Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  And I was like, that's the thing I fell in love with my whole life. Like, I, I dedicated my whole life to learning everything about The Simpsons and comedy, history and...

• 22:45Jason Bateman?

  Who did you, when you were growing up in the 90s, who, who were your influences? Who, who were you like, God, that, that guy is so funny? Or that show is so funny?

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Everybody, I mean, everything. Like, anything good, bad, or in between, it was like...

• 22:56Jason Bateman?

  But like, you, but you're so, like Jason said, you're such a genius at improvisation. The first time I saw you was on a show called Campus Ladies.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 23:06Jason Bateman?

  And one of my best friends... Carrie Asley is here.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Is she here?

• 23:08Jason Bateman?

  She's right there.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  Carrie!

• 23:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, what's up?

• 23:11Jason Bateman?

  And you were on the show with her.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Oh my god, hey Carrie.

• 23:13Will Arnett?

  Have you met Dr. Sean?

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Dude, Carrie, Carrie did-

• 23:16Jason Bateman?

  Sean couldn't get them seats.

• 23:17Will Arnett?

  You probably can't see him.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Carrie gave me a huge break. Thank you, Carrie. She gave me a huge fucking break when I was like 18.

• 23:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but I watched you on that show and I'm like, oh my, of course you skyrocketed. You were a brilliant performer, actor, improviser, all of it. And I was just like, who is this person? So you must have had-

• 23:37Speaker 04

  I mean, mostly The Simpsons. I think The Simpsons is like the number one thing in the entire world. Like, if anything's left an impact on my life, it'd be The Simpsons over there.

• 23:46Will Arnett?

  It's some of the greatest comedy writing of all time. It's pretty, it's like such a heavy weight.

• 23:50Jason Bateman?

  But it was, but that's, that was, obviously, there's no acting in that, except for the voices, obviously. So were you following like the, the writing of that? Was writing the first pull for you, not performing?

• 24:00Speaker 04

  So if you like shook me in the middle of the night and like, what do you do? I'd be like, I'm a comedy writer. That's what I do. Like, I write jokes every day. Like, I go and write scripts. Like, you don't know this because you just see the front side of it. But I'm, most of my job is writing comedy movies. That's like mostly what I do. And when I was young, I would VHS record The Simpsons and then pause it on the writers and write them all letters.

• 24:26Jason Bateman?

  Oh my gosh.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  And to this day, one of my biggest mentors and friends is David Merkin, who's like an iconic Simpsons writer. And every time, like, you've been to a screening of early cuts in my movies for notes, like, David Merkin comes to every single screening, every table read. And he was like my childhood hero. So I wrote them all letters when I was like seven, eight years old. And that was my dream. Like, like, if I had written for The Simpsons, that's like, would have been more than enough for-

• 24:54Jason Bateman?

  Did you write a spec Simpson script?

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've written a ton of spec Simpson scripts.

• 24:57Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you did? Did they ever buy one or, no?

• 25:00Speaker 04

  No, I never like sent them, to them. I wrote them like, as like an eight-year-old.

• 25:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, they can't receive, they, well, they're just an eight-year-old. Well, then, when did, when did the, when did the performance part of it start to take hold? Like, when did you think that you could be in front of the camera?

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Well, I think all three of you were like hams, comedic hams, right?

• 25:21Will Arnett?

  What happened?

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Did you just drift off?

• 25:25Will Arnett?

  I just said, yeah.

• 25:26Jason Bateman?

  He's narcoleptic. He said, "We're all hams."

• 25:29Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, we're all hams. Must have been hams when you were little kids.

• 25:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  If there was like a party at my parents' house, I'd do like a comedy show. I feel like everyone here can relate to that. It's like, so it was just always like, people were like, "Oh, you're funny." And then when I got to middle school, people's parents were like, "You should pull them out of school," to my parents, and like, "Make them a comedian."

• 25:50Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, people would like say that to me.

• 25:52Jason Bateman?

  Because you were going to schools where there were some people that were in the business, like the center and Crossroads.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  People think I'm a nepo baby, by the way. My wife and I were just laughing about this, that I'm a nepo baby. My dad's a fucking accountant. If you ask these guys, he directs a lot of shit. Do you ever hire your business manager's son for fucking Black Rabbit or whatever? Yeah, huh?

• 26:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, no.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  You hire Jeffy Goldstein to play like the heavy in, um...

• 26:19Will Arnett?

  Wait, but Jonah, how old were you when we met? We met when you were, you were like a, you were young.

• 26:23Jason Bateman?

  Will, should we take a snack break?

• 26:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, you were like hanging out at my school, like, um...

• 26:29Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no, no, we were...

• 26:30Speaker 04

  With like a trench coat on?

• 26:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah, no, that was a different... You had something different.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Okay, all right, all right, all right.

• 26:37Will Arnett?

  No, it was at like, um, I'm leading by example.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  You had this like van?

• 26:41Will Arnett?

  It was at the Winklers.

• 26:42Speaker 04

  You were still rolling. No, so I went to the school called Crossroads, which is a like full leg up, because if you grow up out here and go to this school, everybody's parents are in entertainment. So, to be fair, it wasn't an abstract job. That was like my big leg up, where I was like, "Everybody's parents here works in entertainment." So if you wanna like, write for The Simpsons, that's not the craziest idea in the entire world, right?

• 27:04Jason Bateman?

  You can get an intro.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  So that was a huge leg up for me to just not be like, show business is abstract and far away, right?

• 27:11Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 27:11Will Arnett?

  We were, yeah, we were literally at, it was Henry Winkler, we were doing the first season rest development, and I went over there for breakfast one Saturday, and you and Max were pals.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  So Max was like my best friend in high school, was Henry's son, and he's an amazing guy and a great director.

• 27:23Jason Bateman?

  Great director, directs a lot of the Ryan Murphy stuff, right?

• 27:26Speaker 04

  Ton of amazing stuff. Um, the Charlie Hunnam show he just did was incredible. Um, uh, freak monsters.

• 27:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:34Will Arnett?

  He's great, he's great.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  And he's an amazing dude, yeah. And so I met Will, and I remember meeting Will...

• 27:40Will Arnett?

  You were a kid.

• 27:41Speaker 04

  I was so hyped because I was interning for his brother and Arrested Development had just come out.

• 27:47Jason Bateman?

  And Jake Hoffman was another buddy of yours.

• 27:49Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Jason Bateman?

  He interned on Arrested Development, didn't he?

• 27:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 27:53Jason Bateman?

  Dustin Hoffman's son.

• 27:54Sean Hayes?

  Is that a TV show?

• 27:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:58Sean Hayes?

  Arrested Development.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  It's very funny.

• 28:01Will Arnett?

  Jonah, Sean's never seen it.

• 28:03Jason Bateman?

  Never seen it.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Is that real?

• 28:04Will Arnett?

  Not a bit.

• 28:05Jason Bateman?

  It's real.

• 28:05Sean Hayes?

  Never seen it.

• 28:06Jason Bateman?

  It's real.

• 28:06Will Arnett?

  It's real.

• 28:07Sean Hayes?

  I saw the first episode.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  You guys have the best job in show business. I'm so jealous of you guys because...

• 28:13Sean Hayes?

  You're on it. You're joining us.

• 28:14Jason Bateman?

  We're looking for a replacement of us.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  But like, you guys have like, it's like being in a writer's room, like you're just bullshitting with your friends, but you don't have to make the thing at the end. You just get paid like a hundred million dollars to just show up to the writer's room and never have to like, make the good jokes in or edit out the bad ones. You're just like, man, let's just sit on the couch and order food and...

• 28:36Jason Bateman?

  All right, but so wait. So you want to be a writer, you start doing it at eight, you're in a school, schools, where the pathway to entertainment industry is not unreasonable. But at what age do you get the first sort of on-camera idea and then it actually happens? Are you still, you're still in high school?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  I was 18, so like fresh out of high school, I started working and...

• 29:02Jason Bateman?

  So what's that first job? Do you get an agent?

• 29:05Speaker 04

  No, no, no. So it wasn't like that. I went to New School, I went to Boulder for one semester and got kicked out. My mom calls it her $40,000 sweatshirt.

• 29:16Speaker 04

  And she's really funny. My parents are really funny people and awesome people, but they, they... So then I went to New School in New York City and I started just performing in like, in theater school, but then performing at bars and doing like kind of stand-up.

• 29:32Jason Bateman?

  You do stand-up?

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, like stand-up and then like short plays and like, they would let me perform at this bar called Black and White, which is an awesome bar.

• 29:39Jason Bateman?

  Did you do Black and White, Willie?

• 29:41Will Arnett?

  No.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  It was so fun. It was like the most fun time. And then I started getting like a crowd of people and I was already like... It's on, dude. I was like, it's so gonna be on.

• 29:51Jason Bateman?

  You're comfortable in front of an audience and then so going to a camera then is not that much of a leap?

• 29:57Speaker 04

  No, and then I got my first job in a movie called I Heart Huckabee's, which was like my first job. And Jake's dad Dustin was like, you should be a comedic actor.

• 30:08Jason Bateman?

  So how did that, how did that come to be? How did you get in front of Dustin?

• 30:12Speaker 04

  It wasn't like a performance thing or anything. We were just, I was just friends with his son and he would see me do stuff and was like, and I make prank call CDs. I make prank call CDs. I was like a ham. I was just like trying to be funny all the time.

• 30:24Jason Bateman?

  But you were just making Dustin laugh around the house and he says?

• 30:27Speaker 04

  If you like Mabel had a friend over and you, or like, you know, Rob Reiner, rest in peace to the legend. I fucking love that dude so much. But you know, Rob would bring Albert Brooks around and Rob would tell me that like his dad was like, Albert is the funniest fucking guy. But Albert was just Rob's friend.

• 30:44Jason Bateman?

  Right, right, right.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  You know, and Albert's Albert Brooks, right? So like, so like Dustin was like, I'm doing this movie. Here's, I got you an audition. And so he got me an audition.

• 30:55Jason Bateman?

  You read for, for the casting director?

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Mary Vanu, yeah.

• 30:58Jason Bateman?

  She passed it on to David. David said, yeah, great. And then you get on that set. And what's that like being on, on a set? Are you just looking around?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Well, David O was fucking nuts at that time, dude. He was buck wild. And I'm like homies with him. He's awesome. Super nice guy. But at that moment in life, and I've had my own, trust me, he was buck wild, dude. There's like, you know, he was like screaming at Lily Tomlin and stuff. It's online and shit. And, and he'll talk about it. Like, you know, he's pretty cool. He's one of the best directors ever. I mean, Flirting Disaster and Three Kings. I mean, he's so goaded. It's insane. And, and I got on the set and I was like, everyone screaming at each other. He, the first time I walked on set, him and KK Barrett, the production designer, were joking around wrestling. And then it turned into a real fight. And it was like joking that like turned into a fight. And these guys

• 31:48Speaker 04

  are like fighting. And it was, they were setting up my first scene to act in a movie. And I was like, Hollywood is so tight. This is so cool.

• 31:58Will Arnett?

  I saw a fistfight on set once too.

• 32:00Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 32:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it was crazy. It was so crazy.

• 32:03Jason Bateman?

  Can you say the name of the movie?

• 32:05Will Arnett?

  Uh, I don't remember. Uh, but yeah, it was this weird thing I did, but I was, it was out in the desert. Listen, guys.

• 32:10Jason Bateman?

  Was everyone wearing clothes?

• 32:12Will Arnett?

  But I saw these two dudes, these two big dudes, like a grip and a gaffer get into it. They end up, they were arguing and they ended up getting into a fucking fistfight.

• 32:19Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  Well, do, well, full circle moment, real quick, cause I want to give KK some shout out right now, but he, if I was like, if I ever get to direct movies, I'm going to hire KK Barrett. And he did my newest movie, Outcome.

• 32:31Jason Bateman?

  He did?

• 32:32Speaker 04

  He was the production designer.

• 32:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's great.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  So full circle, like 20 years later, he was the production designer.

• 32:37Jason Bateman?

  Production designer ever, one of them for sure.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  So that was like a full circle moment. It was like a dream of mine.

• 32:42Jason Bateman?

  So from there, uh, you do a great job in that movie. You have to wait till the movie comes out until the industry starts to see it? Or does word get out from like dailies and early cuts and stuff like that and gets you to?

• 32:54Speaker 04

  My part was so small that like, it didn't make a dent. It wasn't like people were like, you know, trying to give me jobs and shit. And my, and then I met a guy named Peter Principato, incredible manager, who is my former manager, awesome dude. And he introduced.

• 33:08Will Arnett?

  He was my former too, that's why.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  That's why I was looking at Will, sorry.

• 33:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Legend. And, and he got me an audition for Campus Ladies and that was my second job. Was Campus Ladies and I got like three or four episodes on that. And it was all Groundlings people. And on that show, because it was like Will Forte and Maya Rudolph and like every dope person I was like in love with, came on to the show. And then my life really kicked off when I met Judd Apatow, you know, so.

• 33:36Jason Bateman?

  So did those people kind of get in Judd's ear and say, hey, you gotta check this guy out?

• 33:40Speaker 04

  I think I was just starting to do like table reads. I mean, this is like inside baseball, so this might be so boring. If, is this boring as shit? Okay.

• 33:47Jason Bateman?

  Right. So like when, when somebody's gonna like, has a script and they're thinking about making a movie, they'll get a bunch of really talented people around a table and they'll read it out loud and see if it makes everybody laugh and the parts.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  And I was like the funny, like 18 year old. There wasn't a lot of like 18, me and Michael Cera would be at like all of them together, you know? So, um, and like Seth and Jason Segel, like all the young dudes would be at them. And then when Judd started blowing up was, um, I auditioned for four year old Virgin. I met him and Seth and then my life. From then on, that day, I shot 40 year old version. It's one scene in an eBay store. And it was raining that day. So we were only supposed to shoot that scene for like an hour, but it was raining. So they didn't have a cover set. So we shot it a whole day and I just improvised a whole day in front of Judd and Seth and Sean Robertson, one of my best friends. And Judd was like, what do you want to write?

• 34:40Speaker 04

  And I was like, you don't understand. All I want to do is write. And so.

• 34:45Sean Hayes?

  But what about the?

• 34:46Speaker 04

  So he gave me, I pitched him two movies and he bought them. And my parents were like, who is this guy who's molesting you? I was living at home and I was 19. They're like, who is Judd Abittown? Is he like touching your wiener because like, you're like a fucking weird.

• 35:03Sean Hayes?

  Spent a lot of time over there.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Stoner who like doesn't have a job and like, why do you have a two picture deal at like Universal? You know, like it made no sense.

• 35:10Sean Hayes?

  What were the films?

• 35:11Speaker 04

  One was called Middle Child, which a lot of those jokes, I won't say, but the movie maybe got swallowed into another movie. And then one called, um, one was about an imaginary friend, which is really clever scripts. Neither of them got made, but it like ingratiated me with those guys. And then we went on this whole crazy.

• 35:30Sean Hayes?

  See now, I hear this all the time, like just those two, like the title Middle Child and something with imaginary friend with you writing it. Where did those scripts go? Like, why don't we resurrect them?

• 35:40Speaker 04

  They're around. I mean, like I could probably try and clean one up and get it made, but I have new stuff.

• 35:45Sean Hayes?

  What's that?

• 35:45Will Arnett?

  You want to take a look at it?

• 35:46Sean Hayes?

  Come on, take a look. I'll do the table read.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  It's hard for you.

• 35:49Will Arnett?

  Are you, are you accepting notes still? Cause Sean.

• 35:54Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 35:57Will Arnett?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Ashley. Yep. The brand that helped turn our live event stage into a fully styled living space.

• 36:05Sean Hayes?

  Ashley's whole thing is making your home feel like you with styles that balance timeless design and modern trends.

• 36:11Will Arnett?

  Slower Sean, and it's not just about looks.

• 36:14Jason Bateman?

  Their stuff is built to hold up to the real life with durable materials and easy to clean fabric.

• 36:20Sean Hayes?

  For the live show, we were on their Mod Max sofa. It's modular, so you can kind of move it around however you want depending on your space.

• 36:28Will Arnett?

  And it's got that super soft performance fabric, which, which sounds fancy, but really just means if you spill something, you're not immediately in a panic, Sean.

• 36:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, so the accent chairs were great too, big, they're comfortable. The kind of chair where you sit down and you go, alright, I'm here for a while.

• 36:45Will Arnett?

  And the coffee and accent tables tied everything together, clean, simple, but somehow made everything feel finished.

• 36:51Jason Bateman?

  It's just a beautiful setup.

• 36:53Sean Hayes?

  Honestly, that setup worked perfectly for the show. The modular couch made it easy for us to fit however many people ended up on stage.

• 37:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I mean, good luck with you, man.

• 37:02Sean Hayes?

  Thanks.

• 37:02Will Arnett?

  I'm not kidding, I would have taken that whole setup home, it looked great, felt very comfortable, you know?

• 37:06Jason Bateman?

  Really did feel like we were just hanging out in someone's living room.

• 37:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and for Jason, this is the farthest he's been from his couch in weeks.

• 37:15Jason Bateman?

  It's hurtful.

• 37:16Will Arnett?

  Ashley's all about style that's made for real life with white glove delivery right to your room of choice.

• 37:20Sean Hayes?

  Visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style.

• 37:27Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is brought to you in part by Skinny Pop popcorn, which yes, is exactly what we were inhaling backstage at the live show.

• 37:34Jason Bateman?

  True story, there is something very satisfying about a snack that actually delivers and doesn't come with a paragraph of ingredients.

• 37:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and Skinny Pop keeps it simple, real ingredients, classic popcorn, nothing weird, nothing you have to Google.

• 37:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the original is light and airy, but still hits the spot. And if you want to mix it up, they got white cheddar, butter, sweet and salty kettle.

• 37:53Jason Bateman?

  It's one of those snacks that works for anything, watching something, traveling, pretending you're only going to have a handful.

• 37:59Will Arnett?

  Jason, that's you. We had Skinny Pop backstage at the live show and it disappeared fast.

• 38:05Jason Bateman?

  Families, friends, zero restraint.

• 38:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's kind of our go-to movie night road trip before we record, during the record.

• 38:12Jason Bateman?

  White cheddar, butter, sweet and salty kettle.

• 38:15Will Arnett?

  Sean, did you put Skinny Pop on your pasta marinara?

• 38:17Sean Hayes?

  Oh, absolutely, it adds texture.

• 38:19Jason Bateman?

  It's upsetting.

• 38:20Will Arnett?

  Look, the stuff we want to snack on and the stuff we should snack on, usually not the same thing. Skinny Pop bridges that gap.

• 38:26Jason Bateman?

  Creates a bridge in between the...

• 38:28Will Arnett?

  Skinny Pop, deliciously popped, perfectly salted, popular for a reason.

• 38:33Sean Hayes?

  I'll say.

• 38:37Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 38:40Jason Bateman?

  But what about, what about the stroke of genius luck that you landed in front of Judd Apatow? Like, one of the greatest sort of finders of talent and nurturers of talent.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's amazing.

• 38:52Jason Bateman?

  And giving people chances and championing them, like, look what he's done, just you alone. I mean, and there's, what?

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Hundred, hundred people.

• 39:00Jason Bateman?

  You could probably name 25 people right now that are household names that Judd has championed.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, Judd's like Kobe, I mean, like, he's, he's so...

• 39:07Jason Bateman?

  He's up there with Lorne Michaels as far as launching people into the comedy world.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, there was like me and my friends, but then there's like Lena Dunham, and it went on, like Amy Schumer, and Pete, you know, like, he really just like, uh, saw, see something in these people, and he's so great at like mining what you're going through.

• 39:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  And helping you find your voice, and what he really did was he put me through Harvard education of directing comedy movies, so like, now that I'm 42 and we have our own company, shout out Strong Baby, um, shout out Matt Dines, my bestie up there, um, and we produce the movies we make now, I like know what to do because of Judd.

• 39:44Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  You know, so I'd go, he'd, and he was blowing up, so my favorite thing was going to the table reads, because you'd have writers at the table reads and you'd dissect and give notes on the scripts, and that's what I love to this day. I love like the Rubik's Cube of cracking and making better, and making a comedy script better.

• 40:03Jason Bateman?

  You're not burdened by the idea of writing?

• 40:05Speaker 04

  I love it, it's my favorite part of the process.

• 40:08Jason Bateman?

  But I mean, do you love the part where you're sitting in a room by yourself and you're staring at a blank wall and you're just trying to like, trying to fill a blank page? Like, to me, that's the hardest thing in the business.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  As, as dickheadish and insane as I was when I got famous at like 22, like, I don't take for granted a day that I get paid to write jokes.

• 40:30Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  I actually think, and I've grown way past that part when I was 21 or 22, but like, I cannot believe I get to write jokes for my job. I say it to myself every day, I'm like, dude...

• 40:43Jason Bateman?

  What about like the structure and like character development and, and, you know, all is lost on page 75, and like, all of this like stuff you've gotta like, there's like, it's...

• 40:53Speaker 04

  It's the best job in the world.

• 40:55Will Arnett?

  By the way, don't know if you noticed, everything exhausts him.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:59Will Arnett?

  Everything.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  Dude, if I was on smart list, I wouldn't fucking write scripts.

• 41:03Jason Bateman?

  It's so hard.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  Don't you guys have like a mobile, mobile company? Dude, if I was you guys, I wouldn't touch a computer the rest of my goddamn life. I live in Tahiti and fucking phone this in on Zoom, dude.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Alright, so I'm out here, I gotta work in Hollywood, which like doesn't exist anymore. I'm like, I'm basically a cobbler. I make comedy movies with like, me and two other people.

• 41:28Sean Hayes?

  Well Jonah, talk to me about that. Like, I know you're, you're half joking about Hollywood being whatever you just said, like, it's over, you know? Because that's the feeling out there right now is that, you know, where is this going? And everybody's scared and everybody's like, what's gonna happen with AI? And especially in comedy, not especially in comedy, but like...

• 41:49Will Arnett?

  Oh, thank God, a conversation about AI. Oh, finally, finally, we can hear some points.

• 41:56Jason Bateman?

  You can put in a prompt that says, "Write me a joke that Jonah Hill might say on a stage with three other dudes." Like, you'll get like six jokes.

• 42:05Sean Hayes?

  So like, is that gonna like affect the whole writing stuff and...

• 42:09Speaker 04

  No, because you can't replace, comedy ultimately is human, human pain in time.

• 42:14Jason Bateman?

  You can fill that blank page and then you're just plus-ing it perhaps.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  It'd be like having some grom writers in the writer's room. They'll write, AI will write like 50 shitty jokes that you could rewrite or something, but they won't be, they won't have the human experience that allows comedy to be funny because you gotta get dumped to, to write a funny movie about getting dumped, right?

• 42:34Sean Hayes?

  Right, right.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  A computer hasn't been dumped. They know, um, maybe they have, I don't know, I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry to all the computers in the crowd and, and, um, but like, I don't worry at all. I also live in, I'm like, I just go until they fire me. Like, I, I'm so motivated by what I do and my family that like, I just have two things. I have my family and writing comedy.

• 42:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  So like...

• 43:00Sean Hayes?

  Well, where do I fit in in that?

• 43:03Speaker 04

  Well, I'm here tonight.

• 43:05Jason Bateman?

  All right, so how close are we to Superbad now at this, at this point in?

• 43:10Speaker 04

  It'll be 20 years, oh, you mean like at that?

• 43:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, in this, in this story here where you're-

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Oh dude, so it was Forty Year Old Virgin, and then a year later, we made Knocked Up. And then two months after Knocked Up, we made Superbad. So like a year after I met Judd, we made Superbad.

• 43:23Jason Bateman?

  So who, I'm embarrassed, I should know this-

• 43:26Speaker 04

  And you guys were working with Michael right around then too.

• 43:28Jason Bateman?

  Who wrote Superbad?

• 43:29Speaker 04

  Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg wrote the most brilliant script of all time.

• 43:33Jason Bateman?

  Got it, okay. Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  And it read, we all improvised and everyone comes up with great jokes on those movies, but their script that they wrote was like flawless.

• 43:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. But like, do you remember Michael Sarah going away to do that movie? That was done during the hiatus?

• 43:47Will Arnett?

  No, but I tell you something, this is a true story. So, so years ago, right before, like the year before Superbad, there was a script that we were gonna do at, at, at a place. I won't say, cause then you'll be able to know who was in charge. And, and it was about, it's this crazy, great script that Mitch Hurwitz and I worked on with Jim Valley. Really, really, really funny, turned out great. And I said to the guy who ran this particular studio, so this is 2000, Superbad was 2007, right? So this is 2006.

• 44:16Sean Hayes?

  I mean, pause for a second, you with the dates, he knows dates like Mary Lee Henner.

• 44:21Speaker 04

  That is crazy.

• 44:22Jason Bateman?

  It's nuts.

• 44:23Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and uh-

• 44:25Jason Bateman?

  He'll tell you, what, what month was the film released in?

• 44:28Will Arnett?

  Which one?

• 44:29Jason Bateman?

  Superbad, 2007.

• 44:30Will Arnett?

  Oh, that I don't know, I don't know.

• 44:32Speaker 04

  It was 2007?

• 44:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I know, but what month? It's probably a summer release, right?

• 44:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, probably, it might have been. Um, but I remember going in and, and there's this, this thing that we were working on called for this, this dude, this character I was playing, and then these two teenage sons. And it was two teenage boys who were best friends. It was basically like a, like a three-hander. And I said to the guy, this is before all that, before Forty Year Old Virgin, I go, "It should be Michael Sarah and Jo, this kid Jonah Hill."

• 45:02Speaker 04

  No way.

• 45:02Will Arnett?

  And he goes, "What? No, man." What are you talking about? And I swear to God, and a fucking year later, or whatever it was, 18 months later, Superbad comes out, and it's like a huge hit.

• 45:14Jason Bateman?

  Enormous.

• 45:15Will Arnett?

  And I'm like, this dumb fuck.

• 45:16Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 45:17Will Arnett?

  This fucking guy blew it. And he got fired.

• 45:20Jason Bateman?

  Did he?

• 45:21Sean Hayes?

  He should have.

• 45:22Will Arnett?

  I'll tell you after.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 45:25Will Arnett?

  I'll tell you after, and then you're gonna be like...

• 45:26Speaker 04

  Cause when I met Will, like, when I was 18, I met him at my friend's house, and I was bugging out, dude, cause he was Joe from Arrested Development. I was like, holy shit, dude, like...

• 45:40Jason Bateman?

  So good.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  Couldn't believe it, yeah.

• 45:42Will Arnett?

  These guys. Anyway...

• 45:44Jason Bateman?

  Alright, so Superbad happens, that's very, very cool, very exciting, yes, but I would imagine...

• 45:50Will Arnett?

  It was game changing, too.

• 45:51Jason Bateman?

  That's my question, was it disruptive? Or did you flow with it pretty good? Cause I know Michael Sarah was, cause Arrested Development was...

• 46:00Will Arnett?

  Just finished, right? We were just done Arrested Development.

• 46:04Jason Bateman?

  We had finished the three seasons?

• 46:05Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 46:06Jason Bateman?

  At Fox?

• 46:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, cause we finished in December of 2005.

• 46:09Jason Bateman?

  Okay, so then, that...

• 46:14Speaker 04

  Are you allowed to say Rain Man?

• 46:15Jason Bateman?

  I remember... He is, Mary Lou Henner.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Are we okay? No.

• 46:20Jason Bateman?

  I remember Michael was just, even though he'd already had some fame, some notoriety from Arrested Development, Superbad was a whole nother level. And there was a level of adjustment for him, I know for sure. For you as well, was it comfortable for a bit?

• 46:35Speaker 04

  I mean, it was exciting as hell, but it was crazy. It was just bizarre, you know, it was like...

• 46:41Jason Bateman?

  Can't walk down the street anymore.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, and Michael and I hung out every day still. So, we would go to Cantor's. I live behind Cantor's in Cecil's apartment, and Michael and I would just walk to Cantor's, and there, people would freak, we'd be talking about this shit, like, in the, like, our lives were like that movie. And people would see us, and they'd freak out, because it's like, we walked off the screen into the deli, you know, like...

• 47:05Jason Bateman?

  People think you're shooting a sequel.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was just so bizarre, you know, it was trippy.

• 47:09Jason Bateman?

  But are you thinking, cause you're, how old are you at that point? 20?

• 47:13Speaker 04

  22.

• 47:14Jason Bateman?

  22, so you're at an age...

• 47:15Speaker 04

  I don't know, I think... I'm not Will, twenty-two or twenty-three.

• 47:19Jason Bateman?

  So you're at an age where you're thinking about, okay, I've, I've, I need to have a job, a career. I need to be starting thinking, five years, ten years, in the future, I gotta provide, I gotta, so this is, are you thinking now, this is, I've got some momentum, this can be my career, is it, does it align with what your plans were, what your dreams were, what your goals were?

• 47:41Speaker 04

  I was obviously stoked, because I loved the movie. You know, I didn't know if I'd get to work on shit I loved. I knew I'd work in comedy in some capacity, like, I had the confidence enough to know, like, I am professionally funny, even at like eighteen or nineteen, whatever, but I didn't, like, Superbad was like my dream, I, it was like what I wanted to see.

• 48:05Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, right.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  You know, so I, I was so stoked that Judd was in the position to make the kind of movies that he was getting to make.

• 48:12Will Arnett?

  Superman comes out, you've got a pretty good idea that shit's working out, it's a huge hit.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  It was crazy.

• 48:18Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna watch that. Comedy features were a huge business.

• 48:22Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna watch it tonight. I mean, I've seen it, but I'm gonna watch it again.

• 48:25Jason Bateman?

  Right after Arrested.

• 48:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 48:26Speaker 04

  Well, now that I have kids, now that I have kids, I'm like, oh my God, imagine when like my son, like, who's three, like, imagine him watching that movie, oh my God. I never thought about that shit.

• 48:36Jason Bateman?

  Maple loved it.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  Maple, does your cool kid still watch it and stuff?

• 48:41Jason Bateman?

  She loved it.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  That's rad.

• 48:43Jason Bateman?

  Loved it a lot. She was very excited to be here tonight.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:45Will Arnett?

  What I kinda wanna know is-

• 48:46Speaker 04

  But it was psycho, it was psycho, like, we couldn't walk around, and, and, and, it was like so exciting and kinda scary, and then like, you just cannot not become obsessed with yourself when something like that happens. It just is like, it's impossible not to become like a weird dude for like a year.

• 49:05Will Arnett?

  Everybody's telling you, you're great, right? So everybody's going, you're the greatest.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  You just have all your friends that you're still friends with from high school, but all of a sudden, one of you people like, respect and pay attention to.

• 49:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  So like, you just are kind of a self-centered person, because it's about you a lot of the time, and thank God that time is over and it's not about me anymore.

• 49:28Jason Bateman?

  But you're skipping over a very interesting part where you're like, you're kind of, you're munching on all the junk food of all that fame and all of that access and relevance and whatnot. And then you start to think, this is a question, um, what should I do about dramatic work to make sure that-

• 49:47Speaker 04

  Oh, so I'll tell you, the smartest thing I did was, like, Michael, Michael had Juno come out like two months later.

• 49:53Jason Bateman?

  What a movie.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  He was like Michael Jackson, dude.

• 49:55Jason Bateman?

  Have you seen Juno?

• 49:56Speaker 04

  But for real.

• 49:57Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  Michael Sarah had Superbad and Juno come out in like six months and it was like, he really, he was more famous than I was and, and, and he retreated inward and, and I was like-

• 50:09Jason Bateman?

  Michael?

• 50:11Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna watch Juno tonight, too.

• 50:15Jason Bateman?

  Best movie about Alaska you will ever see.

• 50:17Will Arnett?

  Michael Sarah went inward?

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Soft spoken and inward? But he, he, he is still, I will say to this, he is top three best friends in the world to me to this day.

• 50:28Jason Bateman?

  A great man.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  We still talk like once a week.

• 50:30Jason Bateman?

  Just finished directing a movie.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's, he's in post on his movie, it's gonna be amazing. Um, he's so fucking brilliant and cool and a great human being and, um, but what I did was, I got offered a bunch of movies for the first time and I was like-

• 50:46Jason Bateman?

  All in the comedy space or?

• 50:47Speaker 04

  Eh, all the comedies, yeah. And I was like, I can't make a movie, none of these are as good as Superbad.

• 50:53Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  So I said, what, to my agent, what writing jobs are available? And Sacha Baron Cohen was looking for writers for the Bruno movie and I, I auditioned for the writers' room and I was in the writers-

• 51:05Jason Bateman?

  What's the writer audition like?

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Uh, it's like you get like a day sit-in in the writers' room, but I had been in the writers' rooms with Judd and those guys, so, um, I got the job and I was like, super, I was like arguably more famous than Sacha was at that time and I was like, a pimply writer in his writers' room for like six months and I would ride my bike to the lot over here on Formosa, from my apartment on Fairfax and people would be like, "Yo!" And I would just go and write jokes, cause I didn't wanna think about like the outside world, I didn't wanna think about the pressure of- Like, what do I do next?

• 51:38Will Arnett?

  It's such a funny move to do that. To go, to go from that to then all of a sudden, just to be a writer, a staff writer on the Bruno movie.

• 51:46Speaker 04

  It was the best time, man. Because it was like, I, I was like, I just got to work with one of my heroes and pitched like, I loved Bruno. Like when the Ali G show came out. It was like, it was like when Arrested Development came out. I was like obsessed with Bruno. So like, all of a sudden I was writing jokes and like Mickey Mouse was saying my jokes, like, you know, Homer Sausage was like, like it wasn't just like someone cool. It was like a character that I already loved.

• 52:12Jason Bateman?

  He's an incredible talent.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's an awesome guy. He was an awesome boss.

• 52:15Will Arnett?

  I, I kinda wanna, I kinda wanna get to, I think you were trying to get to it, but man, you take a long time.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  No, I do. I'm, I probably do.

• 52:23Jason Bateman?

  You're allowed to. You're supposed to be speaking.

• 52:25Will Arnett?

  We wanna hear from you.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Lev, am I being boring or no?

• 52:28Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 52:28Will Arnett?

  No.

• 52:30Jason Bateman?

  No, this is fascinating.

• 52:30Will Arnett?

  We love Jonah.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Sean, is this one of your favorite episodes of Heartless or?

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Do we flip over to like Dax's podcast, Sean, or no? Do we keep listening to this or fast forward?

• 52:42Will Arnett?

  I wanna, Jonah, I wanna get into, cause then you go and you start doing interesting things like Wolf of Wall Street, in which you're amazing.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:48Will Arnett?

  You're so, dude, you're so-

• 52:51Jason Bateman?

  Don't skip over Moneyball.

• 52:52Will Arnett?

  Huh?

• 52:52Speaker 04

  Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you the thing.

• 52:54Will Arnett?

  By the way, Moneyball, oh dude, Moneyball, first of all, like really hard film to make from that book is a great book. And you're, I remember thinking like, they'll never do it. It so far, it's so, that movie's so great. You are so great in that movie. So you do Moneyball.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  Well, can I say one thing before that?

• 53:08Jason Bateman?

  Yes, please.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  I don't wanna jump straight to there.

• 53:10Jason Bateman?

  Did we miss a credit? Let the guest talk, Will.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  I know the question, I know the question you're trying-

• 53:13Will Arnett?

  I'm trying to get to it, dude.

• 53:14Speaker 04

  The question you're trying to ask is this, in my opinion, is this, is that, I got, I was working for Sasha and got offered all the big comedies. And, and I got offered The Hangover and Cyrus at the same time. And I did Cyrus. And

• 53:29Jason Bateman?

  This is why we need agents.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  I wish I did both. Cause The Hangover riffs and is an amazing movie and I loved Todd. But like, I was like.

• 53:38Jason Bateman?

  Cyrus didn't suck. The two classes know what they're doing.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  No, no, no, but it changed my life because I wanted to do dramatic movies and comedic movies. And that script and that part was incredibly and very deep and emotional and a lot like my work today. And

• 53:53Jason Bateman?

  And guess what? Bennett Miller probably saw Cyrus and he probably did not see Hangover.

• 53:57Speaker 04

  So he saw Cyrus and he cast me in Moneyball.

• 54:00Will Arnett?

  Fucking let him speak dude.

• 54:02Jason Bateman?

  Sorry, I get so excited.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Now we're caught up. I'm just bridging the, I'm just doing a little bridge. Little bridge work.

• 54:08Will Arnett?

  So then you were Bennett Miller and then you'd work with Martin Scorsese on Wolf of Wall Street and with Leo DiCaprio. That must have been just a mind blow with first day.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Well, Moneyball was unbelievable, man. Like Moneyball was such a trip. Cause like my, remember my dad was a fan of that book and he's like, how are they gonna make this?

• 54:28Jason Bateman?

  Michael Lewis.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. How are you gonna make this a movie?

• 54:31Jason Bateman?

  Didn't Aaron Sorkin write that script?

• 54:33Speaker 04

  And Steve Zalian. I mean Bennett Miller is not like a household name, but if you make films.

• 54:39Jason Bateman?

  I wish he'd direct more movies.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  He is such a brilliant director, the director of that film.

• 54:43Will Arnett?

  I mean, he hasn't made a movie, that dude hasn't made a movie in years, right?

• 54:46Jason Bateman?

  Since Foxcatcher, I think, right?

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, since Foxcatcher. I mean, he's, he's an amazing guy and taught me so much.

• 54:51Jason Bateman?

  But didn't you, didn't you want to direct early, early on?

• 54:55Speaker 04

  So all these guys, I would just work for them and sponge for them and write for them. And like Spike, at that time, I would just write for him for free for like five years. Whatever commercial, whatever like short film he was doing or whatever I'd help on. Because I was just an intern for all these great directors that I'd get the chance to work with as an actor. And then also the comedy writers. I was like such a nerd where I'd meet someone who wrote on Arrested Development and geek out over them at the mall and they'd be like, what? You know? So it was, I'm so privileged because I, I just love. The actual work of what I do.

• 55:29Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  You know, like.

• 55:31Jason Bateman?

  So then talk about that.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  That's a rare ass thing, you know?

• 55:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I mean, you're so incredibly lucky to have been on the sets of all these incredible directors. You find yourself cherry picking from them?

• 55:42Speaker 04

  But then Marty's like another level. He's another level than everybody ever.

• 55:46Jason Bateman?

  But I feel like there's a bit of a paternal element there between the two. You guys seem so close and it's warm, it's genuine. He did a great cameo in this last film.

• 55:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was in Outcome, which is on Apple if you want to watch it.

• 55:59Jason Bateman?

  Great movie.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Keanu Reeves.

• 56:00Jason Bateman?

  Keanu Reeves.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  American Treasure.

• 56:02Jason Bateman?

  Yup.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  But yeah, the fact that I call Marty and don't have to stop and like apologize is psychotic to me, you know? Like Simpsons and Goodfellas, I guess, would just be the two things that I think are like, if you had to like take my brain and freeze it, you'd cut it open, it'd probably be those two things. And so like, so, you know, I got to direct him. This was the first movie he gave.

• 56:25Jason Bateman?

  Did you give him a note?

• 56:26Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 56:26Jason Bateman?

  Did you give him a note at any point?

• 56:28Speaker 04

  I said, "Get your shit together, Marty." I said, "Get your shit together. Time is money, man." No, I mean, like, he came in so prepared. It was honestly, the whole thing was so psychedelic, like him coming to set and me directing him. It was so psychedelic. It was like childbirth. It was like, you see like colors and you're like, this is so trippy. And, but then he interviewed me for Interview Magazine and he had to talk to me about the movie. And he loved the movie. And I directed two other movies, which he liked, but he didn't love. And he was like, "I love..." He's like, "This is a giant leap forward and I love this movie." And that meant a lot to me. That was fucking so powerful.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  The critics did not agree, but you know, I am introduced on the toilet for the first four minutes of the movie, so there's that. But you know, like, to have him love the movie was fucking rad. It was fucking cool and meant a lot. And he's just the best guy. You go through withdrawal after you work with him because... The poor unfortunate other directors you have to work with after cannot compare. No matter how wonderful, prepared and amazing they are.

• 57:36Sean Hayes?

  Is there one thing that is louder to you about the experience of working with him? That is different than other directors? Is it just ease on set?

• 57:45Speaker 04

  Nothing comes within a billion miles. Within a billion with a B.

• 57:50Sean Hayes?

  What is the one main thing do you think that he does different? With the most obvious thing to you.

• 57:55Will Arnett?

  Present company excluded, right?

• 57:57Speaker 04

  So you know how like he's everyone's favorite director? So his ideology and taste in life and everything is like your favorite person. So it's like, he doesn't just... Directors' work is like their worldview. So the reason you love Marty's work is because you love him.

• 58:16Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  You love his lenses he sees the world through and like...

• 58:19Sean Hayes?

  His taste.

• 58:20Speaker 04

  His taste, his humor, his fucking realness. You know like you see someone in life, here's how I know I'll be friends with somebody. When you're like at the mall and you see someone and the person's being a fucking weirdo and you look to like the person you're with and you both see it without saying anything. Marty sees the fucking weirdo that you see. He gets it. He sees it all even though he's Martin Scorsese at the same time. You know, like he's as human and real as like, "The fuck is that guy doing?" And he's also the biggest genius you've ever met.

• 58:51Sean Hayes?

  You're so... We're all so lucky to be immersed into the thing that we chose to do because we love to do it. And you've been... Enjoyed tremendous success, both writing and acting and now directing and everything. Is there something? And that really stimulates your mind. Like you said, there's my family and there's work, right? And that's all you care about, that's all you love. Is there anything else?

• 59:16Speaker 04

  I mean, I have friends. Swear to God, Jason is my actual friend. Great friend. He is an amazing friend.

• 59:23Sean Hayes?

  For sure, but...

• 59:25Jason Bateman?

  Say more.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  And I look up to him very much. He's a... I would call him a mentor because I admire his relationship with his amazing wife Amanda and the father he is to his children. And he's great at his job and they don't have to be mutually exclusive.

• 59:39Will Arnett?

  Let's hear it for Jason.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's true.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  He's a wonderful human being.

• 59:47Sean Hayes?

  It is, it's very true.

• 59:48Will Arnett?

  And he's gotta go to New York tomorrow. I don't know if you heard of what he's up against.

• 59:51Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 59:52Will Arnett?

  It's just, uh, he's gonna be-

• 59:54Jason Bateman?

  All the way across the country.

• 59:56Will Arnett?

  He's gonna be humping it in 36J, I imagine.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  Can you send me the intro you wrote? I'd love to read it.

• 1:00:00Jason Bateman?

  I kinda remembered it. It was pretty close to that.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  I interrupted you. What was your question, Sean?

• 1:00:04Sean Hayes?

  No idea.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm sorry.

• 1:00:05Sean Hayes?

  No, no, no. It was, oh, yeah, no, no. I mean, to being immersed, so deeply immersed in what we'd love to do, there's gotta be other things that interest you, like, I'm obsessed with space.

• 1:00:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:00:16Sean Hayes?

  And sci-fi and all that. Are there, what are the other things that when we think of Jonah Hill, instead of work and family, what is the thing that's like, oh, you know what? It's skateboarding. What is the other thing that we're like, what? I didn't know that you absolutely love?

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  Super great question, because I would be, hobbies are a huge part of my life and happiness as well. So like, I love Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I love, except my body is begging me to not love it. 42 isn't, my wife is often like, you're not gonna become like a professional fighter. You know that, right? Like, you're a comedian, like-

• 1:00:51Jason Bateman?

  But let me ask you something. If we got into it-

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  I would fuck you up.

• 1:00:55Jason Bateman?

  You'd fuck me up, right?

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  I would fuck all three of you up.

• 1:00:58Jason Bateman?

  But truly, right?

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  And that's the best part. My favorite thing is people are like, oh, Jonah Hill, fucking fat guy from Superbad. And I'm like, I would fucking annihilate you, dude. I'm not kidding, dude.

• 1:01:10Jason Bateman?

  Because every fight-

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Try it. If you see me, try it, dude.

• 1:01:13Jason Bateman?

  Every fight ends up on the ground.

• 1:01:15Will Arnett?

  Bring it. Who's got it?

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  I will, unless you are way bigger than me-

• 1:01:19Sean Hayes?

  I have like a-

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  Fucking fuck around and find out.

• 1:01:22Sean Hayes?

  I have a little bit of a-

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  And also, surfing.

• 1:01:26Sean Hayes?

  Surfing.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  But then your kids take all that, you know, it was all that stuff, like pandemic, no life, selfish, have no family, no wife. But then, you know, kids, it's your life, dude.

• 1:01:37Sean Hayes?

  For sure.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  You know, like, it's, um, there is not a free moment. Like, I ask permission now to go do my hobbies. You know? Because like, if the kid needs, the kids need me-

• 1:01:49Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  You know, but then you gotta fill your own cup. That's why I call guys with Jason, like Jason, to be like, how do you balance this shit?

• 1:01:56Sean Hayes?

  Right. I have a secret fantasy of wanting to get into a fight. And, cause I've never been into a-

• 1:02:02Speaker 04

  It's not a fantasy. I feel really bad for the other guy.

• 1:02:05Jason Bateman?

  Sean just likes the ground and pound situation.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  By the way, I'm being funny, by the way. I would fuck you up, but I am being funny also.

• 1:02:15Sean Hayes?

  You started, you like jiu-jitsu. I'm gonna start a new one called Ground and Pound. Yeah, I'm gonna teach it.

• 1:02:20Jason Bateman?

  Groundandpound.com is not what you think it is.

• 1:02:23Sean Hayes?

  Get it now. Yeah, no, I've never been in a fight and I've always been like, that has to be like.

• 1:02:28Speaker 04

  But dude, acting, and like, I hadn't acted in a long time. And now I'm out there, maybe gonna take a role and like, start acting for other people.

• 1:02:37Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  I'm so excited to act. Like, almost like I'm excited about to serve or do jiu-jitsu.

• 1:02:43Jason Bateman?

  Because you've been away for a while, or because of the directing? And now you're gonna bring that perspective to the acting?

• 1:02:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, I haven't done a movie where I acted for another director. I did McKay's movie, Don't Look Up.

• 1:02:54Jason Bateman?

  Which you were awesome in.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  And then You People with Kenya, which was such a fun experience. I saw Lauren London today, shout out Lauren London, I fucking love you. Shout out Kenya, shout out McKay. Shout out all the homies. And then, um, what am I talking about? And then, so.

• 1:03:08Jason Bateman?

  Your hobbies, acting.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, I was like, I might take this job. And I'm like, dude, I'm so excited to like, just put on the t-shirt you tell me to put on and go be funny.

• 1:03:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  Like, I want to do, like, I'm so excited like I was when I was young. And so that's a fun feeling, you know?

• 1:03:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I do know.

• 1:03:25Jason Bateman?

  What about daddy stuff? Do you, what's your favorite part about?

• 1:03:28Speaker 04

  You were amazing, I called you, but you gotta see, is this thing on? Will was so incredible.

• 1:03:32Sean Hayes?

  Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  And Bradley's just an amazing dude.

• 1:03:36Jason Bateman?

  So incredible.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Sean Hayes?

  Who don't you like?

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  I'm kidding.

• 1:03:40Sean Hayes?

  I'm just kidding.

• 1:03:41Speaker 04

  It's more like, who doesn't like me, unfortunately?

• 1:03:43Jason Bateman?

  What is your favorite part about daddy stuff? What's your, what's your, what have you found is your favorite thing to do with your kid, that you, kids? That you didn't think, that you didn't know you were gonna love?

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  I knew I was gonna love it, I just prayed that I'd be, uh, able to do it in the right way. You know, so, I'm so proud of what I get to do.

• 1:04:04Jason Bateman?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:05Speaker 04

  Every second of it is so sick, cause like, even when he's like, three and crazy, cause one of the ones is a little baby. You can only yell at him, scream yourself hoarse at him so much.

• 1:04:14Jason Bateman?

  But how's your swaddle game?

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  That was a joke.

• 1:04:15Jason Bateman?

  How's your swaddle game? Are you a good swaddler?

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  No, he, no, he's out of, yeah, no, I'm not a good swaddler. I'm a good diaper changer.

• 1:04:23Jason Bateman?

  Good diaper changer?

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  Nope, nope.

• 1:04:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:26Sean Hayes?

  What's a swallower?

• 1:04:27Jason Bateman?

  Swallowing is when you, you take and you wrap up. Well, they're probably past, the young ones probably past the swaddling now.

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Jason Bateman?

  But like, swallower?

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:04:35Will Arnett?

  Swaddler.

• 1:04:36Jason Bateman?

  That's on Groundandpound.com.

• 1:04:40Will Arnett?

  Amanda, did Jason, did he get in the swaddle? He did, for real.

• 1:04:45Jason Bateman?

  A great swaddler and a great diaper changer-upper.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Making your kid, like seeing your kid come up with something that he thinks is funny to make you laugh. Like knowing that that's, like, he wants, he thinks of something that is funny in his three-year-old mind and then tries to be like, "Dada." And then says, which is usually, "Oh, fuck," or "Weener," because he's my son. And he'll be like, "Dada, oh, fuck." And I'm like, "Family business, baby. Get out there."

• 1:05:19Jason Bateman?

  Are you enjoying, well, he's still a little bit teal, but like, I'll bet you're gonna enjoy starting to feather in like your sense of humor to him. And like, you know, he'll start to like pick up on that from you and it'll start to maybe become kinda his sense of humor too. Like, I remember, I think it was, I think it was Maple, was it you or was it Franny? I remember, I'll never forget what time, what have I said to be like, "Daddy, how come you never smile after you say something funny?" And it was like, you know, just like, kinda like, well, because if you smile, then you know it's a joke. But if you don't smile, then it's kinda dry and that's like sarcasm. Like, it was like so weird that I was trying to formulate what the answer would be to that. But like, you don't know what the answer is to that. It's just like...

• 1:06:03Will Arnett?

  Your kids have never seen you smile. Think about that.

• 1:06:07Jason Bateman?

  That's what it is.

• 1:06:08Will Arnett?

  Think about how fucking traumatized they're. Comedy's not supposed to be fun in our house.

• 1:06:15Jason Bateman?

  Stop laughing.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  I mean, you don't have to teach them shit. They just watch you. They just watch you.

• 1:06:21Jason Bateman?

  Right, that's what I mean. It's like, you start to just like, I don't know, I just, I don't wanna go tomorrow.

• 1:06:29Sean Hayes?

  You're gonna be brilliant.

• 1:06:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude, like, I would be having a nervous breakdown if my kids were going to college. Because I think about, I start crying sometimes. I'm like a little baby myself because I'll look at them and be like, if, like, you're a teenager and you don't want to hang out with me, I'll, I'll cry every night. You know, like, I can't imagine them.

• 1:06:48Jason Bateman?

  Well, here's something that somebody said, somebody said to me that sort of like got me off the ledge. When, when your kids go to college, you've got a long time to go. Um, and Maple.

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  They're not going to college, let's be honest.

• 1:06:59Jason Bateman?

  Maple's got another four or five years, so I'm still, the tiers are still pretty low. Um, but when Franny, my eldest, left, um, I was like, I, I'm not gonna do well with this. Fortunately, she goes to school in town, so I'm okay. But somebody said to me a few years before she left, she said, "You're not losing your four-year-old." Like, it's not, your four-year-old is not leaving. It's an 18-year-old that's probably been spending a lot of weekends out at friends' house and stuff like, so it gets feathered in and it's not like, boom, your, your four-year-old, your 10-year-old is like leaving the house. It's, it's, you're actually excited for them to, you know, leave the nest, start flapping the wings and it's, it's.

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

  And you've, like, knowing you, relationship with your daughters, you've seen them blossom into these incredible people, so you're like, go shred.

• 1:07:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, you're excited to watch them go do it.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Play the guitar, you know, like.

• 1:07:47Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you'll love it.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  It's radical. It's all, it's all a blessing.

• 1:07:51Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Um, all right, we're, we're about done here. These people, they probably want to pee or do something or get the hell out of here. Um, in closing, though.

• 1:07:59Speaker 04

  We're done? Oh, my gosh.

• 1:08:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, we don't take a lot of time.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  I was so boring. What?

• 1:08:02Jason Bateman?

  No. Talk to us about the film that's out right now, um, and, uh, the film that's coming out that you, I saw that one too. That one's fucking great. Um, you guys are gonna have to wait a little bit longer on that, you're still in post on that. Um, tell us.

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  Jason also gives the best notes because he's such a great director and friend, so.

• 1:08:21Jason Bateman?

  Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:22Speaker 04

  So.

• 1:08:22Jason Bateman?

  But tell us about.

• 1:08:22Sean Hayes?

  Let's hear it for Jason.

• 1:08:27Sean Hayes?

  Incredible.

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  And Will and I are friends, but it's like a newer friendship. And then Sean and I are gonna become friends, hopefully.

• 1:08:34Sean Hayes?

  That's right, right after this.

• 1:08:35Jason Bateman?

  You're sleeping over tonight.

• 1:08:36Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, we're gonna watch Superbad tonight.

• 1:08:37Speaker 04

  Yes, great.

• 1:08:39Will Arnett?

  Beat him up.

• 1:08:41Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  If you'd like the shit beaten out of you, please let me know.

• 1:08:45Jason Bateman?

  Sean's got a singlet.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  Come on down to San Diego, we'll treat you right.

• 1:08:49Sean Hayes?

  Look in your rearview mirror.

• 1:08:50Will Arnett?

  I went to San Diego so Jonah could beat me up.

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  Traffic was a nightmare.

• 1:08:54Will Arnett?

  Scotty, let's go.

• 1:08:56Jason Bateman?

  So, tell us about these two films.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  The new movie's called Outcome and you can stream it on Apple. And it's Keanu Reeves and myself and Cameron Diaz and the great Matt Bomer, who's incredible. And a bunch of amazing people, David Spade, Laverne Cox, really amazing cast. And it's a really funny movie and if you wanna enjoy yourself at home and then pause it and take a piss and get snacks and stuff, you can totally go do that.

• 1:09:19Jason Bateman?

  But it's also got filmmaker stuff in it, like you shot it beautifully and it scored beautifully and it's like, you're doing it.

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:09:28Jason Bateman?

  And then this next one...

• 1:09:29Speaker 04

  This next one is just pure stupidity, so it is just dumb.

• 1:09:33Jason Bateman?

  Tell them what the concept is.

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  It's dumb, I'm about to go on a run of just the dumbest shit you've ever seen in your entire life, so I hope you left your brains at home. So, it's called Cut Off and Kristen Wiig and I play two dumbass heirs, rich kids in their mid-40s who get cut off by their rich parents, played by Bette Midler and Nathan Lane. So, it is like stepbrothers, clueless, trading places.

• 1:10:02Jason Bateman?

  It's so great.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Classic comedy and Kristen Wiig is the American treasure. I've been so lucky, my last two movies, Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz and Kristen Wiig and Bette Midler and Nathan Lane, I'm the luckiest guy, but it's gonna be in theaters. Shout out Mike and Pam and Jesse at Warner Brothers and we are trying to bring comedy movies back to the movies.

• 1:10:22Will Arnett?

  Yeah, man, it's about time.

• 1:10:23Jason Bateman?

  It's about time.

• 1:10:24Will Arnett?

  There haven't been, we've been, there haven't been enough comedy movies getting made and I think it's about time and I hope that you're like, I'm glad you're leaving.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  I am dedicating, till you guys make me stop, to just making people laugh.

• 1:10:36Jason Bateman?

  We want more of you, more often, a higher frequency, your break's over, move back up from San Diego or at least get a little Pevet here.

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  That I'm not doing, but... I promise to try and make a movie every year that's funny.

• 1:10:49Jason Bateman?

  Please do.

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  Critics, do your best, you cocksuckers. And then, um, and I'm gonna make people laugh, so fuck y'all.

• 1:10:56Sean Hayes?

  That's great. I love that.

• 1:10:58Jason Bateman?

  We love you, buddy.

• 1:10:59Sean Hayes?

  We love you, Jonah.

• 1:11:01Jason Bateman?

  Jonah Hill, guys.

• 1:11:02Will Arnett?

  Jonah Hill.

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  Thank you. I hope that was okay. I love you, dude. I'm sorry I was like that.

• 1:11:12Will Arnett?

  No, that's okay. That's okay.

• 1:11:34Jason Bateman?

  So, we're gonna do a wrap-up. Wrap-up, yeah. We gotta do the wrap-up. We gotta do the wrap-up.

• 1:11:40Will Arnett?

  We gotta do the wrap-up.

• 1:11:42Jason Bateman?

  Sean, I find, is the most genuine, warmest, sincere, attentive friend I could ever ask to have.

• 1:11:53Will Arnett?

  That's a true story.

• 1:11:54Sean Hayes?

  That's very nice.

• 1:11:55Jason Bateman?

  Will has all of that, um, and just happens to make me laugh more than anybody I've ever met in my life.

• 1:12:03Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 1:12:03Will Arnett?

  Honest, thank you.

• 1:12:05Jason Bateman?

  You're pretty funny, too.

• 1:12:07Will Arnett?

  Jason.

• 1:12:07Jason Bateman?

  Take your time.

• 1:12:10Will Arnett?

  It's good to take a minute.

• 1:12:11Jason Bateman?

  To think of something?

• 1:12:13Will Arnett?

  You are, you're so Jason, you know? Which is what we love about you. You're just, you're the, no, Jason is such a sweet boy.

• 1:12:23Jason Bateman?

  This is awkward. Make it fast.

• 1:12:24Will Arnett?

  No, it's true. And he's, and he's, you've made such a great thing of yourself. You've really turned it around. I mean, you kinda grew up in the woods and you just, you got out and you're a beautiful person and he's, and I give him shit, we give him shit for being so, you know, grumpy and stuff.

• 1:12:39Jason Bateman?

  Careful, careful.

• 1:12:40Will Arnett?

  But he's so squishy on the inside.

• 1:12:41Sean Hayes?

  Yes, he is.

• 1:12:42Will Arnett?

  He is such a sweet boy.

• 1:12:43Sean Hayes?

  Yes, I love, I love you because you also are a genuinely kind person and you really think of other people. And I, you are one of the, you're grabbing my ass right now. And you're one of the smartest people I've ever known in my entire li-life.

• 1:13:02Jason Bateman?

  And, and, yes, you're squishy inside. This fella is also super squishy. The funniest person on the face of the planet. Both of them are. And I love you guys both.

• 1:13:13Will Arnett?

  I love you too. And I said, Sean and I were texting last night about something. And I, you know, you have those moments. One of the great things is that about our friendship, and I don't know why we're doing this, but uh... Is, uh, we love each other and, and I think it's the age that we've gotten to where we can tell each other that we love each other.

• 1:13:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Will Arnett?

  And it feels, uh, really great to be able to do that.

• 1:13:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:35Will Arnett?

  And I said, Sean sent me a text last, we talked on the phone, then he sent me a really lovely text afterwards. And like Jason said, you cannot meet a person who is more consistently supportive and kind than Sean Hayes.

• 1:13:48Jason Bateman?

  You can try.

• 1:13:49Will Arnett?

  No. And constantly. He checks in on everybody he loves, he's always so selfless, and it's unbelievable. And, and JB's the same. I, I feel very, very honored that we get to do, that you guys listen to us.

• 1:14:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:02Will Arnett?

  Fuck around.

• 1:14:03Jason Bateman?

  I don't know if you guys get to work with your best friends. They are truly my two best friends. You guys let me work with them and have the greatest time of my life and talk to some of the most interesting people in the world. So we cannot thank you enough.

• 1:14:18Will Arnett?

  Yeah, we really, really appreciate it. Yeah, we do.

• 1:14:22Jason Bateman?

  I also want to say sorry, thank you to Bennett and to Rob and to Michael Terry.

• 1:14:27Will Arnett?

  There's Rob, Rob Armory. Rob, put your hand up.

• 1:14:31Jason Bateman?

  This is a, this is a...

• 1:14:32Will Arnett?

  There's Bennett over there.

• 1:14:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:33Will Arnett?

  Rob, and where's Michael Terry?

• 1:14:36Jason Bateman?

  Michael Terry, somewhere.

• 1:14:37Will Arnett?

  Michael Terry is somewhere.

• 1:14:40Jason Bateman?

  There's, it is, it is six of us.

• 1:14:42Will Arnett?

  The six of us.

• 1:14:43Jason Bateman?

  And our great partners is serious, but it is the six of us that make this thing happen. And so without them, we wouldn't have it. And we didn't want to let another moment go.

• 1:14:52Will Arnett?

  Bye!

• 1:14:53Jason Bateman?

  Bye!

• 1:15:17Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.

• 1:15:23Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.

• 1:15:28Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarf.

• 1:15:41Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.