DAVID GBORIE HAS AN INSATIABLE THIRST Ft. David Gborie | Episode 245

Happy Halloween week team!! For our final spooky season episode this year, we have David Gborie on the show!! Drew and David talk Donkey Kong lore, getting white people confused, the Inland Empire, trick or treating, the time David was in a George Harrison music video, and so much more. Follow David on IG: https://www.instagram.com/coolguyjokes87/?hl=en Follow The Comment Section on IG: https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/?hl=en Give today at PlannedParenthood.org/defend. Because they never stop showing up, and neither should we. The Korean skincare brand everyone is talking about. Our listeners get 20% off their entire order by using code COMMENT at jiyuskin.com/COMMENT #JIYU #ad Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad and the holidays are around the corner, which means I'm officially entering my Hostess Hannah era with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. You guys know I love cats and fostering, but when I'm hosting, I do not want my house smelling like cats. I want people focusing on my hosting skills. That's why I love Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. It delivers long-lasting odor control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that's one less thing I need to worry about when people come over. Be guest-ready with Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  A missed call doesn't feel like anything. No red flag, no notifications screaming at you. It just disappears into your call log. And nine times out of 10, that was someone ready to hand you money. That's why today's episode is brought to you by QUO, spelled Q-U-O. The business phone system built so you never miss a call. Here's what I like about it. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place, so anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. No more, "Wait, who talked to this customer last?" And if you're worried about after-hours leads slipping through, QUO's optional built-in AI agent can answer questions and even book appointments while your team's offline. It's the number-one-rated business phone system on G2,

• 1:19Speaker 02

  and over 90,000 businesses already trust it to stay reachable. Money is on the line. Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free. Plus, get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com/tech. That's Q-U-O dot com slash tech.

• 1:39Drew Afualo?

  I have what I call an itis with white people, and I mean this very sincerely.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  You eat too many and you have to take a nap?

• 1:50Drew Afualo?

  I have been there before.

• 2:00Drew Afualo?

  Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show. Sorry, me, your fave, everybody knows me, who cares about me. Onto the guests. Today, we have the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious, David Borey.

• 2:15Drew Afualo?

  Welcome to the show.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 2:18Drew Afualo?

  You're so welcome.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  I'm so glad that I dressed up to meet you where you're at.

• 2:23Drew Afualo?

  I know. I'm glad we were on the same wavelength today.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  I was at home, I was like, "How am I gonna... Upstage Donkey Kong?"

• 2:30Drew Afualo?

  Hey, y'all. This episode is sponsored by Gymshark. If you know one thing about me, you know that going to the gym is a huge part of my weekly routine. And no matter what my workout looks like, Gymshark has always been the brand for providing maximum support and comfort. One of my go-to favorite products of theirs is the Everyday Seamless Set, and I wear it all the time because it's perfect for so many different kinds of workouts, like lifting, going to Pilates class, or honestly, even running errands after the gym. It can do it all. Gymshark is made by people who actually understand how to make clothes for fitness training that are perfect for both comfort and performance. And their stuff is so freaking cute. It's so hard to find gym clothes that I actually love wearing and would even wear outside of the gym,

• 3:14Drew Afualo?

  but Gymshark does exactly that. That's why I've genuinely loved them for such a long time, and that's why I get excited every time they drop a new collection. Discover Gymshark and find your new favorite gym clothing at gymshark.com. This is our final spooky season episode.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 3:31Drew Afualo?

  So I'm happy to have you here on this very special episode. Typically, I save my biggest, most obnoxious costume for this episode.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Is this obnoxious?

• 3:39Drew Afualo?

  I mean, I've been more obnoxious in the past, but typically, yes. My last one is the most obnoxious.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  I don't think this is so bad.

• 3:45Drew Afualo?

  You don't think so?

• 3:46Speaker 04

  He's a family man.

• 3:47Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  He's breaking barrels. He's a hard worker.

• 3:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  He put his team on. That's like a good guy to me.

• 3:54Drew Afualo?

  That's true. He's someone who supports nepotism. I support his nepotism.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Is Diddy related to him?

• 3:58Drew Afualo?

  I think so. I'm unfamiliar.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  With Diddy Kong? Did you not play the games?

• 4:03Drew Afualo?

  Just, no, I did, but I'm saying they're family tree. I'm not sure how they are in relation to each other.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  Oh, you're more of a classic Donkey Kong, not Donkey Kong country. I don't know why I'm talking so much about video games. This sucks to start this.

• 4:15Drew Afualo?

  Are you passionate about Donkey Kong?

• 4:16Speaker 04

  Not at all. I honestly told you everything I know.

• 4:21Drew Afualo?

  What if I was like, "No, yeah, same. I hate Donkey Kong."

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Alright, well, that's good.

• 4:27Drew Afualo?

  I do have to ask you, though, when you play Mario... Have you played Mario Kart, obviously? When you play, who do you pick?

• 4:33Speaker 04

  Uh, I like Chrome Peach.

• 4:35Drew Afualo?

  Ooh, that's a good one.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:36Drew Afualo?

  I like that one.

• 4:37Speaker 04

  I like Chrome Peach. I like all Luigi variants. Sometimes I like to be Waluigi because it's good to be bad.

• 4:44Drew Afualo?

  It is. We were just talking about that.

• 4:45Speaker 04

  We were just talking about that off-camera, how bad we are.

• 4:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like, yeah, how bad we are, how evil lives forever.

• 4:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:50Drew Afualo?

  Yes, of course. I'm more of a Toad girl myself.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  Toad's fun.

• 4:54Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, Toad's fun.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Toad's fun.

• 4:56Drew Afualo?

  He's just kind of my guy. I think he's just, he really locks in with me.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  I feel like Toad, you could all, you're like, "He came to party." There's no, like, ill will.

• 5:03Drew Afualo?

  No. Good vibes.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, he just wants to hang out with everybody.

• 5:07Drew Afualo?

  And he's got a really fun hat. I love a good hat.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  And I bet he smells good.

• 5:11Drew Afualo?

  You think?

• 5:12Speaker 04

  I bet he smells top-three in the Mario verse, yeah.

• 5:16Drew Afualo?

  Top-three? What number is he sitting at?

• 5:19Speaker 04

  I think three.

• 5:20Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was gonna say two.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  You know, wanna know my other two, I think?

• 5:23Drew Afualo?

  Who?

• 5:23Speaker 04

  I think number two is Luigi.

• 5:25Drew Afualo?

  Okay, T.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  I feel like he's the man who could find himself a good scent.

• 5:29Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  And this is...

• 5:30Drew Afualo?

  And he bathes.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:31Drew Afualo?

  So if anything, at most, he smells like soap, which is nice.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  And you're not gonna like number one.

• 5:37Drew Afualo?

  No?

• 5:38Speaker 04

  I think Bowser's got that shit on him.

• 5:42Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:43Drew Afualo?

  You know what? I think you're, I think you're right.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  He is cool. He's got the studded bracelet.

• 5:48Drew Afualo?

  That's true. He's always, he's got, like, style.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:51Drew Afualo?

  He's really showing out. He's got a real look to him.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  And he's got daring style in a way where, like, maybe Bowser's wearing some shit you didn't expect.

• 5:59Drew Afualo?

  Right, right. He's really, like, ahead of the curve.

• 6:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe he's wearing, you know, a woman's scent, and you're like, "Oh, I didn't even think so."

• 6:05Drew Afualo?

  An androgynous bit.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying, I think.

• 6:08Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah. No, honestly, I think that's T. I think that's fair.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that feels fair.

• 6:11Drew Afualo?

  It definitely wasn't gonna be Mario.

• 6:13Speaker 04

  No.

• 6:14Drew Afualo?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  And he's a hard worker, too. He's just, he worked all, he plumped all day.

• 6:18Drew Afualo?

  He's plumbing all day.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Is he plumped all day?

• 6:21Drew Afualo?

  Is that the past tense? I know, I'm wearing a bike helmet, low-key.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  That, I like, yeah, yeah.

• 6:26Drew Afualo?

  I can get on a Lime scooter right outside and be protected.

• 6:28Speaker 04

  Do you Lime scooter?

• 6:29Drew Afualo?

  No. I enjoy living.

• 6:34Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I do not Lime scooter. Do you Lime scooter?

• 6:37Speaker 04

  No. I Lime biked for a little bit, but then I just got a real bicycle.

• 6:41Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice. You leveled up.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. Is that...

• 6:44Drew Afualo?

  I think so.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  It's cheaper.

• 6:45Drew Afualo?

  Getting a real bike, yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  It's cheaper than the Limes.

• 6:48Drew Afualo?

  It is. After a while, it starts to add up.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. And I was like, "Man, I don't think I need this electronic assistance. I think I could just ride a bike." You know what I mean?

• 6:58Drew Afualo?

  Probably.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  It's, I don't, I don't like care to go so fast that...

• 7:02Drew Afualo?

  Do the Lime scooters or the bikes, do they, are they, like, automatic, too?

• 7:05Speaker 04

  They're like electric-assisted.

• 7:08Drew Afualo?

  Ooh, interesting.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  Some of them, not all of them.

• 7:10Drew Afualo?

  Damn. We've gotten so lazy. We have strayed so far from God's light.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  That's what worried me. I was like, "Oh, man, if I'm not even riding a bike for real, I already don't have a real job. Like, it's gonna translate into other things."

• 7:22Drew Afualo?

  Right, that's right. I gotta keep it, I gotta stay sharp.

• 7:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta keep my head on a swivel.

• 7:27Drew Afualo?

  Well, speaking of made-up jobs, I also...

• 7:31Drew Afualo?

  I also have a made-up job, but I would love to know, clearly, as you can see. I joke all the time that I'm like you, because I'm venturing into acting now.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  Fun.

• 7:40Drew Afualo?

  Like, I've started doing some reads, I've started doing some auditions, haven't booked anything yet.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 7:45Drew Afualo?

  Obviously, because I'm still here dressed like this.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Well, you could do both. Some of the greatest actors of our generation have dressed up like Donkey Kong.

• 7:51Drew Afualo?

  I would say.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  And talked to me, actually.

• 7:54Drew Afualo?

  I've always said that, too. I knew it. I knew spiritually, I knew Donkey Kong leads to success.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Five years ago, Chalamet was in that same exact suit.

• 8:02Drew Afualo?

  In this same chair, in the same studio.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  I was wearing the same shirt.

• 8:07Drew Afualo?

  And you said, "You're gonna be something one day."

• 8:08Speaker 04

  I said, "I think..." Actually, I missed it on him. I said, "I don't see it, little guy."

• 8:13Drew Afualo?

  You said, "You don't have it."

• 8:18Drew Afualo?

  You were that one hater in that room.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like, yeah.

• 8:20Drew Afualo?

  99 lovers, you were the one.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:22Drew Afualo?

  Alright. But I do wanna know, like, obviously, you have an amazing career in comedy. I would love to know how you got into comedy.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  How did I get into comedy?

• 8:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like, I would love to, I'd love to hear comics, like, venture, how they got into comedy. Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes it was bound, destined in the stars.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 8:40Drew Afualo?

  But I'm so curious.

• 8:41Speaker 04

  It wasn't destined for, I, it sucks because I, this is irresponsible. I got a DUI. Yeah, but I was really young.

• 8:49Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  Because I'm older now. I was like 22 or something like that.

• 8:53Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  And then I had to move away from where I was living, so I moved from Denver, or from Colorado, to San Francisco, and I was living in my mom's garage, and my best friend had been like, "You should try stand-up comedy."

• 9:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  And I went to go visit, I went to go watch him do stand-up. I was like, "This is fucking stupid. I have a job. I'm not, I'm not doing this."

• 9:15Drew Afualo?

  No.

• 9:16Speaker 04

  And then, "Yeah, what, are you crazy?" And then I didn't, I didn't have anything going on, and he was like, "Well, if you bomb, nobody will know. You could just disappear into the city."

• 9:24Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  So I went up, and then I didn't, I didn't bomb.

• 9:27Drew Afualo?

  And you didn't, you said, "Fuck."

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Not the first time.

• 9:29Drew Afualo?

  Not the first time?

• 9:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:30Drew Afualo?

  That's good.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  First few times, but then I bombed and I wanted to cry. It's like a bad feeling.

• 9:36Drew Afualo?

  It is, it is.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  It's worse than a breakup, that first one.

• 9:38Drew Afualo?

  You think? I, from every stand-up I've heard, they've said, like, "You will bomb eventually, and it will leave an impact on you that you will remember forever."

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:47Drew Afualo?

  But it also is necessary to your development as a comic, I've heard.

• 9:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, now I bomb semi-regularly.

• 9:55Drew Afualo?

  Now you're just calloused hands.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got a bad one not four nights ago, so, you know, it happens now. Yeah, it was a good...

• 10:03Drew Afualo?

  Why'd you bomb the first time? Do you remember?

• 10:06Speaker 04

  The first time or just the other night?

• 10:07Drew Afualo?

  No, the first time. I'd love to, and then we can talk about the other night, if you like.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  I think I just thought I was very, I thought I was really good, so I was like, "Alright, five minutes, let me just write five more minutes. That'll kill. I'll quit my job in six months."

• 10:20Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  And the next five minutes was not as good as the first five minutes.

• 10:23Drew Afualo?

  Damn.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:24Drew Afualo?

  So it's just the longest 10 of your life?

• 10:26Speaker 04

  What, it was just, uh, yeah, it just really hurt. Have you ever just talked to people and they don't like you?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  But like, it's like amplified, and you're trying to live your dream, a dream you just got a month ago?

• 10:40Drew Afualo?

  Yo, I've had this dream since, like, 10 days ago.

• 10:43Speaker 04

  That's how I felt.

• 10:44Drew Afualo?

  So...

• 10:44Speaker 04

  I was like, "I found out 10 days ago I might be the best comedian in the world."

• 10:50Drew Afualo?

  Literally, to ever live.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then I bombed, and I was like, "Oh, I probably should work."

• 10:55Drew Afualo?

  I should probably work on that a little bit.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:58Drew Afualo?

  What did you do to work on it, if you don't mind me asking?

• 11:00Speaker 04

  I bombed a bunch more.

• 11:03Drew Afualo?

  Just keep trial running.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, just want to bomb in everyone.

• 11:08Drew Afualo?

  I have talked, I've had like, I had a very short-lived like experience in, in stand-up because I've loved stand-up forever. I've loved stand-up for so, yeah, for so long. And I've watched, like, I love stand-up specials. I've like, watched comedy for so long. And I, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. So obviously, when I started doing this, like, a lot of my online friends, Caleb included, um, included, like, you know, encouraged me, like, I think you should try stand-up, like, which I will say, I'm proud of having this. I was not so vain that I thought because I'm funny online, oh, I could easily do stand-up, which I do think happens a lot with men especially.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I was, I say this all the time. It sucks stand-up because like, every man thinks he can do it. For sure. Like, in like, not so much like, when I interact with like, fans and stuff, but when I interact with just like, regular men in life.

• 12:00Drew Afualo?

  Yes, yes.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  There's always just like, so you just go up a bunch? Then that's how you got rich? I'm like, not, only one of those things is true.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Every dude, it's like, because dudes are dumb.

• 12:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah. It's very, it's like such a ego thing. Like, it's like, oh, it for that, I feel like for, like you said, the average man, they're always like, you know, if I just had the time.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:24Drew Afualo?

  Like, if I had the time, I could easily do that.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's exactly how they feel. I think what they don't understand is it's like, kind of the opposite of ego.

• 12:34Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  You have to humble yourself in front of hundreds of strangers.

• 12:37Drew Afualo?

  Greatly.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  Over and over and over. It's like self-flagellation, like, you're kind of like.

• 12:42Drew Afualo?

  It really is. It's masochistic in a lot of ways. You're gonna have to approach humbly in order to survive it.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're not healthy. No. I tried to like, try to find, but no.

• 12:53Drew Afualo?

  Nah, yeah. No, every comic I've talked to is like, yeah, like that, like yourself, that is so talented and so good. Uh, they're all like, yeah, no, it's awful and humiliating sometimes.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  It's really, because like, sometimes, especially if you're bombing.

• 13:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Then you can hear yourself in the microphone, and you just hear what you're saying and you're like, fuck. I have like, people who love me and I'm out here like, talking about like, a weird dick I saw or some, like, you know what I mean? It's just like, it's so.

• 13:24Drew Afualo?

  It's really self-reflective almost in the moment.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:27Drew Afualo?

  When you start bombing.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can't wait to get rich and figure out something better to do.

• 13:32Drew Afualo?

  With your time?

• 13:34Speaker 04

  I would like to keep it just like golf, and I do it for fun.

• 13:36Drew Afualo?

  Right, right. It's like, just a nice little hobby.

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:39Drew Afualo?

  That you partake in every now and then.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, but like, my wife is like, why are you going to Arizona to do stand-up for the weekend with your friends? That's like a good life.

• 13:47Drew Afualo?

  I'm still trying to make it, honey.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:51Drew Afualo?

  Was there any particular show or like, set that you did where you were like, really like, actually, I think I love this. I think I want to keep trying this.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  Oh, the first one. The first one I felt that way.

• 14:01Drew Afualo?

  Oh, that sounds nice, though.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was pretty, I was like, I was like, twenty, twenty-three, I think. And I was like, I had had a, I had been kind of outside being wild, so it felt like, when I did it, I was like, oh, this is that thing I was looking for. You know, I felt like.

• 14:16Drew Afualo?

  Which you were searching for.

• 14:17Speaker 04

  I guess so. I felt like really relieved. And then it took me so long to find out how fucked up maybe that was.

• 14:24Drew Afualo?

  Then I had to unpack something else.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that didn't come till later.

• 14:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  So I had like, ten years.

• 14:29Drew Afualo?

  So it was nice. So you had like, a nice, awesome time before.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then COVID hit, and then I had to be like, why am I seeking so much validation from strangers?

• 14:37Drew Afualo?

  The classic, yeah. COVID, I was just talking about COVID this morning with one of my friends, like, how that time was so. Was it Diddy Kong?

• 14:45Speaker 04

  You're still dressed up like.

• 14:47Drew Afualo?

  No, it was Peach.

• 14:48Speaker 04

  Do you know that Diddy Kong is one of the Kongs, or does it sound like I'm just saying Diddy shit?

• 14:51Drew Afualo?

  No, no, no. I, I do know Diddy Kong. He wears a ball cap.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Okay, I thought you thought I was making like, a weird bit.

• 14:56Drew Afualo?

  No, that's, that is my brother. Of course I know. Of course I know.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  I can't tell if we're inside or outside the doctor's.

• 15:02Drew Afualo?

  That's the best, we gotta stand our toes.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm keeping your saw sharp. You know what I mean?

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Iron sharpens iron. I like it. I like it a lot.

• 15:10Drew Afualo?

  That's why I said, no, it was Peach when I kidnapped her for the twenty-eleventh time.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:14Drew Afualo?

  I was talking about it with her.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Maybe just get a new crush. Like, she doesn't like you, buddy.

• 15:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. And sometimes I think, I'm, I, I also think too, to some extent, like, maybe he's doing it for Mario at that point. Like, maybe, maybe it gives Mario purpose to go and get her.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you meant that he was doing it for the attention of Mario, but he didn't quite understand that.

• 15:33Drew Afualo?

  I mean, that could also be true. I can't speak to his sexuality, I'm not sure.

• 15:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:37Drew Afualo?

  I don't want to speak on something I don't know.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. There's definitely some kind of misplaced, because to be in that loop of like, kidnapped, saved for years and years, it's like, some, we're not communicating.

• 15:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, we're, we're, we're missing each other on something.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  How many times do you have to take a potential lover up to a tower?

• 15:56Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  Before it's like, maybe she doesn't?

• 15:58Drew Afualo?

  Right, or what if Peach is telling Donkey Kong, like, hey, you should come and get me? Like, maybe she's getting, maybe he's getting mixed signals.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  No.

• 16:06Drew Afualo?

  Maybe every time she fights with Mario, she's like, hey, I'm gonna go to Donkey Kong's, see ya.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  That's like a special toxic. But she doesn't even say that, she just says, he did it again!

• 16:14Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:15Speaker 04

  And Donkey says, brrr!

• 16:16Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, maybe she's, maybe she's playing both of them.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  I like that Donkey is maybe a better guy then, in this.

• 16:22Drew Afualo?

  That's, that's what I'm, I'm saying. I'm saying, maybe there is some unspoken lore that we're not, we're not privy to.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  But I don't know. And I'm not here to tell Peach's story.

• 16:30Drew Afualo?

  I can't, I can't speak, I know, there's a bunch of Mario lovers that are gonna get in the comments and be like, actually, when it comes to Donkey Kong, I really hate when I tell a joke and they try to correct me factually about shit like that.

• 16:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, if I was into facts, I wouldn't be telling these jokes. I'd have a facts job. Like, what are you talking about? I'm on the internet. It's new. What the fuck is this? Actually, I'm clearly an idiot.

• 16:56Drew Afualo?

  The amount of times, I, I told this story once on a podcast and, and it got clipped, so it, it did well on TikTok, but it was like, the, the premise of the story is when I was serving in a restaurant, uh, for the first time ever, first and last time ever, um, when I got fired, I basically got replaced by this guy because my manager was mad that I didn't want to stay through Christmas. And I was like, why would I do that ever? Like, that's crazy.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  Oh, so it wasn't like, a job you needed?

• 17:22Drew Afualo?

  No, it was what I was doing for like, money in college. So I was working part-time. But, but they knew, he knew I was part-time. So I was like, well, obviously, he's like, if you want to move up in the restaurant industry, who said I wanted to do any of that? Look at me. I'm not supposed to be in the restaurant.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  You were dressed like that.

• 17:37Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was dressed like this.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  When he told you that?

• 17:38Drew Afualo?

  Oh, like, oh, when I wear this, it's inappropriate for work.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  He said, you have to stop breaking barrels on the job.

• 17:46Drew Afualo?

  How many times did I tell you the Donkey Kong shit can't, you can't wear that on the floor? No, seriously, I was like.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  This is a Bennigan's.

• 17:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was like, I need to keep going and finding a job where they let me dress as Donkey Kong.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  That's fair, and you did that.

• 17:57Drew Afualo?

  And I had to make it up.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  You did that shit.

• 17:59Drew Afualo?

  But basically, the premise of the story was that I trained my replacement, but I didn't know I was training my replacement at the time. But he kept leaving in the middle of the shift to go smoke meth in the bathroom. And I only know that.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  In the bathroom?

• 18:10Drew Afualo?

  In the bathroom.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  He said, parking lot?

• 18:11Drew Afualo?

  No, and it was a single stall restroom. On top of that. So like, I, I remember one time when he left, I followed him to the restroom because I was gonna bang on the door and say, get out, because it's a single stall. And I'm like, I need your help. And then when he was in there, I could hear the shh, shh, shh. And I said, made this joke too, I said, sound like a little Wayne song in there.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:30Drew Afualo?

  Right? And then, I, meth has a smell, right? So I knew, I was like, okay.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  That's how I know you've been outside, not to everybody.

• 18:38Drew Afualo?

  Listen.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  I, I know that as well, but that's not.

• 18:41Drew Afualo?

  That's not something everybody knows.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, not everybody can.

• 18:43Drew Afualo?

  And it has a very specific smell.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:46Drew Afualo?

  Yes. So.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm with you. I'm with you.

• 18:52Drew Afualo?

  You see me.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  Don't listen to my, what my hat says.

• 18:54Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you see me.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  I see you.

• 18:56Drew Afualo?

  And so, I, when I told this story, I, like, you know, we laughed about it, whatever. Uh, because the next day, he got fired for leaving in the middle of the shift, not to smoke meth, but to go make himself a dessert, and then he was just eating it somewhere. So that was kind of funny.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  It's good that he is eating if he's on all that meth.

• 19:10Drew Afualo?

  Well, see, that's what, that's when people started getting annoying. Because when I told the story, it was, it killed, right? And then everyone in the comments is like, not to be that guy, but like, when you smoke meth, you're really not hungry, so it's probably weed. I know what weed smells like, and you don't know what meth smells like.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Also, smoking weed inside of the bathroom is insane. Like, that's such a, that's like a much stupider person.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  Like, you, you smoke a meth inside because he knows he could probably get away with it, which he did.

• 19:40Drew Afualo?

  Right, which he did. Yes, he did. Yes.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  Smoking weed inside.

• 19:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's like, okay, right? And so then, and then I had people in there going, actually, I smoked meth for years, and I was starving when I was on it, so it doesn't affect everyone the same.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  It's almost like, some people need to eat sometimes.

• 19:55Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was like, did you guys laugh at the joke? Did you think it was funny?

• 19:59Speaker 04

  I think that the people who laugh, they don't say anything.

• 20:01Drew Afualo?

  That's true. They just give it a like.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  When I laugh, it's, I don't even do that. I, I'm, I'm toxic. I'll say it. I don't contribute to internet culture in the way I should, as someone who tries to make his money there. But, uh, if I see something funny, I just am like, ha ha, and then I.

• 20:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, sometimes I do that too.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I don't, what do I gotta say?

• 20:23Drew Afualo?

  I don't have anything to add.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Even if I see something I don't like, I don't.

• 20:27Drew Afualo?

  No, same.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  Say anything.

• 20:29Drew Afualo?

  I, no, same.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  I don't know these fucking people.

• 20:31Drew Afualo?

  That's so new, right? And it's like, I am the maker of my own prison in that. So like, I don't have to engage in this if I don't like it.

• 20:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 20:39Drew Afualo?

  But if I engage in something I don't like, then chances are I'll probably see it again.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:43Drew Afualo?

  Or something similar to it.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, but maybe, maybe it's not as literal for everybody. I, I don't, I don't really know.

• 20:49Drew Afualo?

  I think it's young people shit, because I, I talk about that. I think it's young people shit, because young people nowadays, they just move very differently on the internet.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  That's true, but I feel like I see a lot of old guys coming to me.

• 21:03Drew Afualo?

  Saying what?

• 21:04Speaker 04

  Just like, it's fucking lame, two grown ass men talking about whatever dumb shit me and my friends are talking, you know what I mean? Or just like, I would never, I get, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. And I'm like, ah, okay, man.

• 21:15Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  I'm the lame one.

• 21:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 21:20Drew Afualo?

  They're taking some time out of their day to write a hate comment, but you're the lame one.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  You got me.

• 21:24Drew Afualo?

  It's your job, but they're like, do you ever get, um?

• 21:27Speaker 04

  Maybe I was being lame though, that's true too.

• 21:29Drew Afualo?

  You think?

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Nobody's, does, it's not all strikes.

• 21:32Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Balls. Which one? It's not all.

• 21:35Drew Afualo?

  Home runs.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  I guess if I'm, or am I the hitter or the pitcher in this analogy?

• 21:39Drew Afualo?

  It's up to you, brother. You're the one who brought it up.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  It's not all strikes.

• 21:42Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  Let's go with that.

• 21:43Drew Afualo?

  I'll take that.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Cut that?

• 21:45Drew Afualo?

  Start there.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  Cut that, loop it, double it. Uh, yeah, sometimes you just have so many conversations, sometimes some of them are corny and lame. I don't know.

• 21:55Drew Afualo?

  I think.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Who has a hundred percent cool conversations?

• 21:58Drew Afualo?

  Probably Donkey Kong.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  That's because he doesn't talk.

• 22:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. He knows when to.

• 22:03Speaker 04

  You don't ever think like, you don't ever think like, okay, the night that he takes her up to the, and I don't know if I'm saying this right. The night that he kidnaps her and takes her up to the tower, you don't think for a minute before they go to bed, he's like, I just missed you so much. And I'm just, I mean, I know tomorrow we're gonna, whatever.

• 22:22Drew Afualo?

  Do this again.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  I'm so thankful that you're, and she's just like, shut the fuck up.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  She doesn't even like him, really.

• 22:33Speaker 04

  There because he has cable.

• 22:34Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 22:37Drew Afualo?

  I'm like, what were we talking about?

• 22:38Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 22:39Drew Afualo?

  Meth in the bathroom and Donkey Kong.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  They didn't like it.

• 22:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you know what? I, well, that's why I think sometimes, and that was gonna lead me to my next question, actually. I'm curious if you ever get, this is my favorite question to ask comics.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 22:49Drew Afualo?

  If you ever get notes, either after you perform live, or maybe it's something you post online, like whether it's from your own standup or from your podcast, or anything like that. Like whenever you tell jokes, do you ever have people being like, you know what? You should really like, I think you should do this, or I think you should do that, like tags on your jokes.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, man, all the time. All the time. Uh, uh, comics do it, not as much, like the longer you've done it, they kinda stay back. But yeah, all the time. I don't listen, because then it's a joke you wrote.

• 23:21Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Right? Then it's not.

• 23:23Drew Afualo?

  You're all, I'm actually not taking any notes at this time, thank you though.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  But sometimes like, if you, sometimes for TV, if you do TV, you have to like write out, they'll ask for the entire set.

• 23:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 04

  And then it's just like, when you hear yourself in the thing, you're like writing down all the words and you're like, it's dumb as shit.

• 23:38Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I sound dumb as hell writing this out.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  Talking about.

• 23:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you know, when I, when Caleb was helping me craft a set once, like a five minute set, he told me too, sometimes it helps to just write it exactly how you would say it, including like any filler words or anything. Sometimes it helps to clean it up backwards that way.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  Don't listen to Caleb, he's a natural.

• 23:58Drew Afualo?

  I don't fuck him.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:00Drew Afualo?

  For real.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  You mean you thought about it exactly and it worked? Okay, you're the one guy.

• 24:06Drew Afualo?

  Must be nice.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Cause he's really funny. It must be nice to be Caleb. We're not all on the Caleb scale. Some of us have to live out here. I love him so much.

• 24:17Drew Afualo?

  There were, I love him too. There were literally some jokes that, because I had written down a bunch of like thought starters for jokes that I had. And I was like telling him just the premise, like how I would set it up, that kind of thing. And some of them I told him and he was like, mhm. Oh my god.

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:35Drew Afualo?

  He thinks I'm the most funny bitch on the planet. Oh my god, scratch that out, scratch that out. And then sometimes I would tell one and he'd be like, that's funny. So that's how I knew he really fucking hated other ones, which I appreciate about him. I appreciate his candor.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  To be fair though, some of the, sometimes like you're gonna do that to a whole room and they're gonna.

• 24:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  Do the, I don't know if I'm advocating for standup or not, but sometimes, you know, you say to, I, it happens all the time. I'll say something and I'll see somebody and I'll be like, oh, you hate this.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  You hate this thing that I'm saying right now so much.

• 25:07Drew Afualo?

  The last set I did, there was two guys in the crowd that I could just, I just so happened to be able to see because there was one light shining on both of them.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 25:16Drew Afualo?

  Arms crossed, not laughing the entire fucking time.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  And you always will go back to that. You could be, because realistically, you could be making ninety-nine percent of the room.

• 25:25Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Laugh, but it's always that one person.

• 25:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I just keep seeing their, their ugly little face in the crowd.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:30Drew Afualo?

  They were two older white guys, so not my target.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 25:34Drew Afualo?

  That's what I, I agree.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  Cause sometimes I'll do that and then it'll be somebody like, when I bombed the other day, it was, it was this, this, uh, this older white lady who I could just tell were not on the same page with a lot of what I was saying.

• 25:48Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  And I was watching, I was like, oh, you hate this, but that's because I'm going at your neck right now.

• 25:54Drew Afualo?

  And that I'm okay with.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. But then I did too much and then at one point I was like, I rebuke you white women. And everybody's like, what the fuck is this? So you could go, you could go too far with that.

• 26:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and sometimes those are big swings, you know? And then sometimes they kill and then sometimes they don't. And I, it's funny you say that because they were both white guys too. And I was leaning into the white people bit a little bit, only because the.

• 26:17Speaker 04

  It's hard not to.

• 26:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah. There's such layups, like honestly, we have so little. You know what I mean? We ask for so little. Like, give us this one fucking thing.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  And it's like, once you get on a roll, you're like, oh, I'm not in the house, I need to.

• 26:31Drew Afualo?

  I need to.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I gotta, let's like four days in a row.

• 26:34Drew Afualo?

  Let me steer back to the material. Yeah, I.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  You know what I hate about performative liberalism? And then we're like, what the fuck is this?

• 26:40Drew Afualo?

  And that reminds me, I know, I just get on my soapbox after that.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  That's easy to do too, though. People do that a lot.

• 26:45Drew Afualo?

  Right. And well, even when I was making those jokes, I, I had asked, the one closer to me was like younger, a younger white guy. And I asked him, because he was with a white girl. I was like, are you guys, did you guys come together? Are you guys a couple? And then he was like, no, this is my sister. Like pissed off at me.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  I hate when they do that, because you know what? You all do kind of look like.

• 27:05Drew Afualo?

  That's what I said. That was my joke. It's funny you say that because I literally went, well, you guys do be doing that sometimes. And that killed, that killed like half the room.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  But then the other half.

• 27:16Drew Afualo?

  The other half was like, eh.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  It's also like, man, I don't know, people hook up with people who look like them. That's true. That's true.

• 27:25Drew Afualo?

  It's funny you say that too, because I, this is a running joke on my show, but like I have what I call an itis with white people. And, and I mean this very sincerely.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  You eat too many and you have to take a nap.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  I don't know if that was.

• 27:41Drew Afualo?

  Been there before.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  I don't know if that was for you or Donkey Kong, but I felt like either way the bit was.

• 27:47Drew Afualo?

  I think we both feel the same, honestly.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true. I can't tell where one begins and the other ends at this point.

• 27:53Drew Afualo?

  No, for, like, I'm dead, I'm dead ass, I'm dead ass about, about my itis. I sometimes, especially with famous white people. I sometimes cannot tell the difference between them. I cannot, and I mean that very literally. Like I thought, um, oh my god, the names are tripping me up again. I know, I know who Paul Mescal is now. I know Paul Mescal. You know Paul Mescal? If I showed you a picture of me, you probably know. You're getting nervous.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, because I don't want to lie.

• 28:21Drew Afualo?

  Don't lie, don't lie.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  That's why I just like, that's why.

• 28:23Drew Afualo?

  Don't lie to Donkey Kong, that's not cool.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying. That's why I just.

• 28:26Drew Afualo?

  Well, no, okay, so basically it was him and two other white guys, like Lo, I think one of them's name's Logan Lerman, the other one's name is Dylan Minette. These names mean nothing to you. And that's okay, because I thought they were all one guy.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:41Drew Afualo?

  And I thought that in this industry, like I was working already in this and I, I, the first year I worked the Oscars, they, they told me, oh yeah, like I was doing carpet stuff for them. They were like, yeah, we sent out your information to like all talent that's coming and like, we had quite a few like people respond and like, you know, Paul Mescal loves TikTok and he was like really excited to talk to you. And I was like Pedro Pascal? And then they go, no, Paul Mescal. And then I went, who the hell? And I literally, and he was up for an Oscar that year. But I was just like, okay. And then when I got home, I was like, who is that? To someone else. And I thought he and those other two guys were all the same guy.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  I get it, man. I don't know.

• 29:21Drew Afualo?

  It's just.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  I live in LA, you kind of just gotta be like, oh, hey.

• 29:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  And just like, if you're saying you know me, I know you and we can just be at this party and.

• 29:31Drew Afualo?

  It's all relative.

• 29:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:33Drew Afualo?

  I would say. I mean, they, they get us confused all the time.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  And that's why I don't feel bad about it.

• 29:37Drew Afualo?

  And it's like sincere. It's not something I'm trying to do, but it's just like sometimes when people tell me these names of all these white people, I'm like, I just can't even. I just can't.

• 29:48Speaker 04

  And like you said, it goes the other way. I don't think you're being nuts, like.

• 29:51Drew Afualo?

  No, it's just like, it's a, it's a quote. I, I have like an in-house quota of how many I can know.

• 29:56Speaker 04

  Everybody thinks I'm Chappelle Lacy, so I get it. That happens all.

• 30:02Drew Afualo?

  And everyone thinks I'm The Rock, so it's all relative.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  I.

• 30:05Drew Afualo?

  It's all the same.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  I did think this was press for Moana, the new one. And that's cool.

• 30:09Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 30:09Speaker 04

  That's cool, but.

• 30:11Drew Afualo?

  And it's funny you say that because I did do press for Moana.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Okay, there we go.

• 30:14Drew Afualo?

  And I interviewed The Rock.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  You're welcome.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Does he sing that song in the?

• 30:19Drew Afualo?

  Yes, he does.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  In the second one?

• 30:20Drew Afualo?

  That was good. In both of them, honestly. Well, no, the first one and the live action.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  I didn't, I have a tough time.

• 30:27Drew Afualo?

  Keeping up with like movies and stuff or just Disney?

• 30:29Speaker 04

  I just, there's not too many of the live action ones I'll watch. I liked the live action in, Lilo and Stitch, but people got mad at me for saying that.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  I mean like seven guys on Reddit, I don't mean that. That's my world.

• 30:43Drew Afualo?

  This episode is sponsored by G Y U. So I don't know if y'all have noticed, but now that I'm thirty and I'm older and more mature, I have noticed certain changes in my skin. Like for example, I do have dark spots. I was a picker in a past life, so you know, I have atoned for those sins. But that's also exactly why I started using G Y U skincare. And honestly, I'm obsessed with it. It's spelled J I Y U and pronounced G Y U. It's a Korean skincare brand that's taken over the internet for helping people's skin look healthier, smoother, brighter, basically overall better in every way without requiring some insane seven step routine.

• 31:26Drew Afualo?

  G Y U just launched their Heal and Seal Trio. It's their super simple three step Korean skincare routine to clarify, treat and protect. First, you use these polish pads to gently exfoliate and renew your skin. They're also great for clearing blemishes. You just gently massage the pad onto your skin and then rinse it off with warm water. Then the toner pads, which I have right here, will help target your red or dark spots, which I have personally. And lastly, you finish with the N A D plus cream to lock in all the hydration and help protect your skin barrier overnight. All of these formulas are full of clinically backed ingredients to make sure your skin looks brighter and smoother over time.

• 32:11Drew Afualo?

  For me, what I have noticed is first of all, Korean skincare and me, woo, we go together so good, girl. And these honestly smell really nice and have made my skin feel so unbelievably soft and smooth. It's incredible. So for a limited time, G Y U is having a crazy deal for our listeners. Their Heal and Seal Trio is already up to fifty percent off right now. But our listeners can now get an additional twenty percent off plus free shipping with our code COMMENT at J I Y U skin dot com. That's J I Y U skin dot com and use code COMMENT for an additional twenty percent off. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them.

• 32:56Drew Afualo?

  Please support our show and tell them our show sent you mama. Okay, y'all, I've decided that one of the best parts about being an adult is that I can decide what counts as an accomplishment. Because obviously there are big wins, but sometimes I'm genuinely more proud of myself for doing the tiny thing I've been avoiding for absolutely no reason at all. Like unpacking my suitcase when I get home from a trip instead of letting it sit there for four business days. That deserves a Coca-Cola. And there's something about cracking open an ice cold, perfectly fizzy Coca-Cola after finally doing the thing that just hits. It's crisp, refreshing and feels like my own little reward. So this is me officially giving you permission to celebrate the small stuff.

• 33:39Drew Afualo?

  You folded the laundry, you made the appointment you've been putting off, you finally did the annoying little task that has been haunting your to do list all week. Congratulations, babe. Enjoy your win. Actually, I just finished another podcast shoot day, so I think that counts too. Okay, enjoy Coca-Cola. This episode is presented by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. It seems everybody's got an opinion about reproductive healthcare and we all know some of them like to pop into the comments to say it, attack it, like anybody asks them at all. But the providers, staff and volunteers at Planned Parenthood Health Centers, they

• 34:20Drew Afualo?

  show up in real life every day to make sure patients get the care they need, no matter what. That's who deserves the attention and they need you to show up for them too. Give today at PlannedParenthood.org/defend because they never stop showing up and neither should we. They hate me on Reddit.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Really?

• 34:38Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they have.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  That's probably good.

• 34:39Drew Afualo?

  They have wanted posters of my face on that shit.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  That's probably for the best.

• 34:43Drew Afualo?

  I would say.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Would you rather be loved on Reddit? Like you don't want to be like the Reddit champ.

• 34:47Drew Afualo?

  I don't know, I don't think so. I mean, like I, I used Reddit for like what I thought its intentions and purposes were, which is like.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  Weird medical stuff?

• 34:55Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, or when you're like cars acting up and you have a very specific car, but you want to fix it at home or like your PS5 is acting weird and you like really want to reset it or something.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like.

• 35:04Drew Afualo?

  That kind of shit.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  Similar with YouTube University.

• 35:07Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like pretty.

• 35:08Drew Afualo?

  That's what I think it should, should have been for really in its pure intention.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:13Drew Afualo?

  Now it's turned into just like an evil cesspool in a lot of ways.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  And I go on there to look up stuff and then I just, I end up getting nasty.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  Not nasty, but just like weird shit where now I'm like on reddits where I'm like, I don't even really know what is Girl Dinner Diaries?

• 35:32Drew Afualo?

  Girl Dinner Diaries? Is that like in reference to like Girl Dinner, the trend?

• 35:37Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, they take pictures of the food, but then they just kind of say a problem. I love reading people's problems.

• 35:43Drew Afualo?

  Oh, why is that, do you think?

• 35:46Speaker 04

  It's nice to not feel so alone.

• 35:49Drew Afualo?

  And your problems or just generally just being unhappy?

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Any problem, it's nice to judge. It's nice to be like, damn, thank God that didn't happen to me.

• 35:57Drew Afualo?

  Sometimes it's nice, like to align my problems with worse ones.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that, and Reddit's full of people who have problems you've never even thought about.

• 36:06Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna fall in love with an AI chatbot.

• 36:09Drew Afualo?

  That shit is crazy to me.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  It's really, I'm so glad I'm, we're both out the game.

• 36:16Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  So glad that like, I don't think I would be susceptible to that now. Right? Okay.

• 36:24Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  I think if I was really young or really older than I am, I think they might be.

• 36:30Drew Afualo?

  You think?

• 36:32Speaker 04

  If I was like twelve.

• 36:33Drew Afualo?

  You think though? Because even when I was like twelve, for example, like I saw this guy make a TikTok recently and he was like, sometimes people ask me, how did you deconstruct religion? And I never, I never.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Nobody asked him that.

• 36:47Drew Afualo?

  He said.

• 36:48Speaker 04

  Sometimes people.

• 36:49Drew Afualo?

  I know.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  People are like, hey, pray.

• 36:50Drew Afualo?

  And like his joke was literally that he was like, I never constructed that shit in the first place. I, I couldn't even, like, I was too curious even when I was young and like learning about religion. And I was like that too, like genuinely, I was like, well, who's to say?

• 37:02Speaker 04

  That's true. You know what got me on religion, on Christianity? I remember asking, I was like, what about all the Native Americans?

• 37:10Speaker 04

  And I couldn't get a satisfactory answer. Cause like they were here and never knew the gospel.

• 37:16Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  And like lived and died.

• 37:17Drew Afualo?

  In any, in any way, shape or form.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  And like lived and died, they're gonna go to hell.

• 37:21Drew Afualo?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Well, and then their answer is yes.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. So never mind, I guess people ask me how I just constructed religion all the time.

• 37:30Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you just proved yourself wrong.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:32Drew Afualo?

  In real time. That's how I feel about the chatbot stuff. I feel like even at a young age, I'd be like, this is a robot.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:38Drew Afualo?

  This is not a real person. But that stuff is crazy.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  You don't seem lonely.

• 37:42Drew Afualo?

  I mean, like.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  Lonely in that, you don't see, or you seem, uh, you seem maybe outgoing more than the people who are getting caught.

• 37:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 37:52Drew Afualo?

  As I'm sitting here wearing this, yeah, maybe.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  Maybe I have a lot of friends.

• 37:56Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, may, maybe I don't care what people think about me. But I think, and maybe you can agree with this too, I think a lot of times too, you can't care what people think about you if you're gonna do this.

• 38:06Speaker 04

  You have to figure out how to make whatever peace with it, you're going to.

• 38:09Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 38:09Speaker 04

  I just delete Instagram four times a week.

• 38:12Drew Afualo?

  Do you really?

• 38:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:13Drew Afualo?

  You're just like Caleb in that.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  I took that shit off my phone in the green room.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  Just now.

• 38:18Drew Afualo?

  Not too long ago.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  No, cause I wanted to lock in with you.

• 38:21Drew Afualo?

  I appreciate that, David. I appreciate that.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Oh, Caleb does do shit. Yeah.

• 38:25Drew Afualo?

  He does that all the fucking. Yes, he still has that shit. And I told him and I said, and every day I love you a little less when I have to text you on that shit. I hate it.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  I would be lying if I said I didn't think it was cool. I, I, I, in a world, I'd like to think I'm less, I'd like to think like that me in my head is like, oh, I'm so romantic, I don't need any of these things. But really, if I don't have a smartphone and shit.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad and the holidays are around the corner, which means I'm officially entering my Hostess Hannah era with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. You guys know I love cats and fostering, but when I'm hosting, I do not want my house smelling like cats. I want people focusing on my hosting skills. That's why I love Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. It delivers long lasting odor control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that's one less thing I need to worry about when people come over. Be guest ready with Arm and Hammer Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  What am I gonna be doing?

• 39:28Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  After a while.

• 39:30Drew Afualo?

  I, you know, when that really appears to me is when I have to like update my phone or something. Um, or it's like out of commission for like thirty minutes or so. Around that time is when I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just sit here? With my thoughts?

• 39:45Speaker 04

  I am lucky though, I, I let my shit run a lot, so like my, my, my thoughts, so I can kinda, sometimes, I just started driving recently, but I, I just be driving with no music sometimes.

• 39:55Drew Afualo?

  I used to do that.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  I think now I've learned is nuts. Like it's not.

• 39:59Drew Afualo?

  I used to work for the NFL back in the day.

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 40:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  The, in general or a certain franchise?

• 40:05Drew Afualo?

  For the shield, I used to work for the, the corporate, like, the brand.

• 40:08Speaker 04

  Is that what they call it, the shield?

• 40:09Drew Afualo?

  The shield.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  At HQ?

• 40:10Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  That's pretty cool.

• 40:12Drew Afualo?

  I know.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  I didn't know that, that's really cool.

• 40:15Drew Afualo?

  True. I know, it's such a douchebag thing to say, the shield. But that is what they say to distinguish between like, cause there's like a corporate office too, which is like, that's more like back office stuff. And then it's like, but if you're working for like the league and you do like anything for them, whether it's on broadcast or social or anything, you say the shield.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 40:34Drew Afualo?

  And then if you work for a team, you work for like the clubs, that's what they call them, clubs, yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  Very like European of them.

• 40:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real, fancy schmancy.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:43Drew Afualo?

  So when I worked, when I used to work for the NFL, I lived really far, uh, like, cause I worked in Culver City at the time, but I lived in Lake Elsinore. So I would literally drive, yeah, I drove, I would drive two and a half hours one way, uh, just to go to work. And then I would drive two and a half hours home. And the crazy part about that, so I was driving to Vegas, like every, six days a week, cause they work on Saturdays and Sundays, of course they do. Um, and so I work, I would work all day Sunday and I would drive home. It got to the point where I felt like I listened to every song that ever existed, so then I would just drive in silence.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:15Drew Afualo?

  So I get it, like, so I would just drive in complete silence.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Cause podcasts is just like people talking.

• 41:20Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and I do enough of that.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  I'm like, alright. I mean, please listen to all my podcasts?

• 41:25Drew Afualo?

  Yes, mine as well, please, thank you very much.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  After a while, like, you hit the wall sometimes and you're like,

• 41:32Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Just hear what I think.

• 41:33Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  And it's not always great.

• 41:36Drew Afualo?

  No, and no, it's not.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  I'll be honest, sometimes it's bad.

• 41:38Drew Afualo?

  No, sometimes I'd listen to my own thoughts so much that I'm like, damn, I'm kind of annoying.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Have you ever referenced something you thought to yourself, to someone else?

• 41:46Drew Afualo?

  Yes, of course.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 41:48Drew Afualo?

  To my husband all the time.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  See, I was literally gonna say to my wife, I'll be like, I was talking to somebody the other day and I'll be like, that was you.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  That was, you were just talking to you. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was just, I was in the car like, oh, I think we should get pork more than, or whatever. Dumb shit I have to say when she's tired after a day of work.

• 42:08Drew Afualo?

  No, literally same, I, I like was, one time, uh, my husband, I woke him up, cause he was still sleeping, but I was up and I was, I was up and I was on my phone and I saw something that pissed me off. And I wanted to rant about it, but obviously he was asleep. So I woke him up and I was like, can I tell you about something?

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Can you give me a timeframe on this?

• 42:25Drew Afualo?

  This was, it was about seven in the morning. Literally, like, say, it was probably like six, I got up at six thirty.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  What time does he get up?

• 42:31Drew Afualo?

  He gets up around the same time as me typically, but this morning I just woke up a little bit earlier than him.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 42:36Drew Afualo?

  And then he, it, again, like, maybe twenty minutes passed and I was like, okay, get up, I have something to say. And I need an audience. So then I woke him up and then I was like, can I tell you something? And I don't remember what I saw that pissed me off, but I do remember it was about Beyonce, so I was like defending her. And I was literally, I was like going off about this and I was like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I talked uninterrupted for probably about fifteen minutes. And then he was just, he was like still blinking at me, listening to me. And then as soon as I finished talking, I was like, are you okay? Cause he didn't say anything and he goes, yeah, I just like, I cannot believe how many words you have right now. I can't believe it.

• 43:12Speaker 04

  I get that.

• 43:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and I was like, right. But what do you think about what I said?

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, where, where was he at it? Was, were you right?

• 43:20Drew Afualo?

  With me, he agreed with me.

• 43:22Speaker 04

  Okay, that's good.

• 43:22Drew Afualo?

  Of course he did.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  It's better to be right that early in the morning.

• 43:24Drew Afualo?

  I would say. That's why I, so I sent him a meme the other day, I saw that was, it said like, I will never be his peace, I got a question for you at seven AM, sharp.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Peace, you know, when you're dead.

• 43:38Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 04

  It's so interesting, the husband and wife thing, waking up is such a weird. Going to sleep is like really straightforward.

• 43:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  Waking up is kinda like, it's weird to have protocols. Like, sometimes I'll go up to go pee and I'll come back to bed.

• 43:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  And then my wife will treat it like I'm up and I'm like, no. No, no, no.

• 43:57Drew Afualo?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Like, she'll be like, how do you, how did you sleep? And it's like, no.

• 44:02Drew Afualo?

  Now's not the time.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  No, I'm still sleeping.

• 44:05Drew Afualo?

  Count this as sleep.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  We're in the, I'm talking to you right, my eyes are open, but I don't. That's not now.

• 44:11Drew Afualo?

  That's my husband as fuck, like, sometimes, cause sometimes he'll be like, oh, so you're awake? Oh, perfect.

• 44:19Drew Afualo?

  If he moves even a little bit, I'm like, oh my god, yay, you're up, okay, perfect. I have about twenty things I have to tell you about.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  They're all Beyonce related.

• 44:26Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and they're, and they're all Beyonce related, or they're things I need, I, I would like him to finish around the house. Tasks.

• 44:32Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 44:32Drew Afualo?

  Oh, I love a good task. We don't have a huge house, I have a two-story house, but.

• 44:36Speaker 04

  That's a big house.

• 44:37Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you think?

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:38Drew Afualo?

  Alright, well, I believe you.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  What do you want me to?

• 44:43Speaker 04

  That felt like weird.

• 44:44Drew Afualo?

  I honestly, if I'm being real, I can, I can't hear that well in this, so I, I feel like I'm like, huh?

• 44:49Speaker 04

  Oh, I bet not. I really like your commitment to the bit, but there's no ear holes in it.

• 44:54Drew Afualo?

  No, there's no ear holes at all, it's, it's giving no ear, mama.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 44:58Drew Afualo?

  Sometimes I feel like when I have stuff on my head and I'm recording, I feel like it's sucking all of the brain cells out of my brain actively.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Really?

• 45:05Drew Afualo?

  I don't know why, maybe it's cause it's getting hot in there.

• 45:07Speaker 04

  How often are you recording with your head covered?

• 45:09Drew Afualo?

  Well, during the month of October, a lot.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 45:12Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I got a lot of stuff on my head during the month of October.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  Does this come out Halloween?

• 45:16Drew Afualo?

  Uh, no, it comes out, yeah, it comes out next Wednesday.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Okay, the week before Halloween.

• 45:22Drew Afualo?

  Or the, yes. Couple days before Halloween.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  What are you gonna do?

• 45:26Drew Afualo?

  For Halloween?

• 45:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:27Drew Afualo?

  Honestly, my street is having like a little block party.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 45:32Drew Afualo?

  I know, and there's, and they were like, they were having like a taco truck and stuff. And in the previous homes I've lived in with my husband, like, I would always buy candy because I would, I lived like near schools. And I was like, oh my god, there's gonna be a ton of kids, I wanna be the house with like big candy bars.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:46Drew Afualo?

  And the last like few Halloweens, no, I got not one trick or treater, not one.

• 45:50Speaker 04

  I, I know it, that me and my wife got pump faked like that too.

• 45:54Drew Afualo?

  Really?

• 45:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, we lived, we, we had been living separate and then we moved together and we got this cool, like a house, and like a neighborhood that we knew had a bunch of kids. And it was like, it was like a well lit, it was a nice block.

• 46:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Big, so we were like, for sure.

• 46:09Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 46:10Drew Afualo?

  See, and that's why, this year, because I saw that they're having the block party and I do see a lot of kids outside like playing and they're younger kids, they're not like, high school kids.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  Not too, yeah, high school kid, high school Halloween is a different.

• 46:23Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  That's a different energy.

• 46:24Drew Afualo?

  Gives me the, the spooks, I'll be honest.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause you know they're up to no good.

• 46:28Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:30Drew Afualo?

  And I, I'm like, I don't know.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Good for them, but I don't wanna aid in it. You know?

• 46:34Drew Afualo?

  I've grown past that.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:36Drew Afualo?

  I'm past that time in my life.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  I became a man and I put away childish things.

• 46:41Drew Afualo?

  And I put on the Donkey Kong hat.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  And I put on a, and I put on an axe?

• 46:44Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  And I said, I will egg houses no more.

• 46:48Drew Afualo?

  My husband used to egg houses too back in the day.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  I think he kinda had to.

• 46:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he, he used to tell, he's like, I made some of my best memories doing stuff like that, I'm like, did you?

• 46:57Speaker 04

  I mean, you know, what, where's he from, where's he from?

• 47:00Drew Afualo?

  Where's he from? Here in California, he's, it was like Corona, Inland Empire area.

• 47:04Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 47:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's where we, we went to high school together out there, so.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 47:08Drew Afualo?

  So we were in high school at the same time as each other, but.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  Couple IE babies?

• 47:11Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 47:12Drew Afualo?

  We are, are you born and raised in California?

• 47:14Speaker 04

  No, not at all.

• 47:15Drew Afualo?

  Where are you from? I'm just surprised, you know, I'm just surprised you knew the IE. Cause a lot of people don't know that.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Was born in Pomona.

• 47:21Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:22Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  She doesn't love it when I make fun of the IE.

• 47:25Drew Afualo?

  No.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Well, she, it's a whole, cause she grew up in a different town. It's like, I feel like IE versus edge of IE, there's like some like.

• 47:34Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, there are parts of IE that they don't like to be associated with each other.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  That's what it seems like.

• 47:38Drew Afualo?

  That's very true.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  And it seems like people near the IE are like, that's not IE, I'm from Ontario or whatever.

• 47:43Drew Afualo?

  That is IE, Ontario, yeah, you are. Rancho Cucamonga doesn't like to be included in that either, but it's true bitch.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  True, I was in Rancho Cucamonga thirty hours ago.

• 47:52Drew Afualo?

  No way?

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:54Drew Afualo?

  Is that where you bombed?

• 47:55Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no. No, that was in, uh, that was near here too, that was in, uh, Atwater Village. No, I was in, I went, so me and my father-in-law saw, uh, Street Fighter.

• 48:05Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice, was it good?

• 48:06Speaker 04

  That way. It was not.

• 48:08Drew Afualo?

  No.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  Not like I wanted it to be.

• 48:10Drew Afualo?

  It wouldn't be awesome.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  I was really excited, I thought they were gonna like capture the, the corniness, like Mortal Kombat did, but not really.

• 48:17Drew Afualo?

  Really?

• 48:18Speaker 04

  You know, it was a good time, I got a commemorative cup.

• 48:20Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:21Drew Afualo?

  Had to, I loved those games.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  Oh, man, I'm trying to get commemorative everything.

• 48:25Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I loved those games. I, I joked about this with my, my parents the other day because my parents had us young, like me, me and my siblings, or my sister specifically, and so like, when I was growing up, there's like a gap in my knowledge of children's media. Because my parents were just showing me shit that they thought was fucking cool at the time. So like, I grew up, yeah, so I grew up playing like eighties arcade games and stuff, so I don't know a lot about, there's like, a section of like Barbie movies and stuff, there's like Tinker Bell stuff, like, I didn't, I, none of, all of that missed me.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Do you find that you have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of like cool people, music from an age that you didn't grow up?

• 49:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. Yes, I was just laughing about this on my last episode that I filmed, I was talking about Party All The Time by Eddie Murphy.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:07Drew Afualo?

  Also, The Five Heartbeats, that's one of my favorite like movies and soundtracks.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Great film.

• 49:12Drew Afualo?

  Soundtrack goes crazy.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, Robert Townsend really did his thing.

• 49:14Drew Afualo?

  Hell, yeah. That's why shit like that, my parents were showing me that because they were like, well, I think this is awesome. And they were like in their late twenties when they.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, young parents is weird, do you remember when your parents turned thirty?

• 49:25Drew Afualo?

  Uh, I do remember, I think I remember my mom having a pretty big party at the house, but we were upstairs, we were, we had to stay upstairs the whole time.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  Kids' rooms.

• 49:33Drew Afualo?

  We had to stay upstairs.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  Spent a lot of time in the kids' rooms.

• 49:36Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like, when I think about some of the shit I was doing when I was a kid, like with my parents, I always like to joke that it was like, if the cast of Friends were all people of color and lived in a really bad neighborhood.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:46Drew Afualo?

  And then there were two kids in there, that's, that's what my childhood felt like.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  Oh, man, you were like, were you like a house, I was like a house party baby.

• 49:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so like, and I, I had like, my parents like had, like, all their friends were the same age, yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  You remember there was like a kids' room circuit?

• 50:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  You'd see a kid and be like, oh man, I ain't seen you since St. Patrick's Day.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  When we were in the same weird room in another house.

• 50:09Drew Afualo?

  In someone else's house.

• 50:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Going through adults' jacket pockets.

• 50:16Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it was the same, and we were the only kids in the circle for a while.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Oh, man, so cuz they were young, so none of their friends had had kids.

• 50:22Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, none of their friends had kids, so all of their friends like had fun being like aunts and uncles.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 50:27Drew Afualo?

  And I remember, um, my parents had this friend at the time, and he was taking me, um, cuz my parents really did have a village. Like, they had like their, like, one of my dad's brothers and like my godfather, all friends, all the same age. That would like pick me up from school, or my sister, and like take us to like sports and stuff. And I remember one time, we all had stuff at the same time, so I went with my parents' friend. He, he like took me, he was taking me to a cheer thing. I was like in cheer.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Competitive?

• 50:54Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like, well, it was, yeah, it was competitive cheer, but at the time, I think it was just something, it wasn't anything crazy. I think we were cheering at a game or something, but he got lost, and then I missed it. And I was like really sad about it, and this guy at the time, like for perspective, he was like twenty-eight, maybe.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:09Drew Afualo?

  So he's driving me, and he, and I'm crying, and I'm just like, I'm just sad that I missed it, and then he's like, and he like doesn't know how to comfort me, because he's not a dad.

• 51:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:18Drew Afualo?

  So he was like, well, well, this is your birthday present, and it was way before my birthday. It was probably like a month or two early, and he's like, um, so you could just have it now, um, if you stop crying. And then I, I took it, and I was like, okay.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  What was it?

• 51:33Drew Afualo?

  It was a SpongeBob game from my Game Boy.

• 51:35Speaker 04

  Awesome.

• 51:36Drew Afualo?

  So, and I loved my Game Boy, so I was like, he was like, I got this for your birthday, but you can have it now, I'm sorry.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  And you know he was a good guy cuz he got, he got it two months early?

• 51:44Drew Afualo?

  I know!

• 51:45Speaker 04

  So he's like a thoughtful person?

• 51:47Drew Afualo?

  I think so.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:48Drew Afualo?

  And that's why I was like, shit like that, I think about memories like that when I'm like, there were like, people my age right now, just had a kid with them. That's crazy, I couldn't imagine it.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:59Drew Afualo?

  I couldn't imagine it.

• 51:59Speaker 04

  My mom was in college with a kid.

• 52:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so was mine?

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:03Drew Afualo?

  Yeah? That's crazy to think about.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  I couldn't get through college without a kid.

• 52:08Drew Afualo?

  I barely made it through with no kids.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  See, and my mom beat that game somehow.

• 52:13Drew Afualo?

  I think about that too sometimes.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  Or just like in twenty-six.

• 52:18Drew Afualo?

  Right? Right, well, I think about it too because my dad, um, my dad played in the NFL for a couple of years.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Is that how you got to the Shield?

• 52:28Drew Afualo?

  No.

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Completely separate?

• 52:29Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, completely separate, decades later, and it's funny because when I got fired, uh, the first person I talked to was my dad from the NFL.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:38Drew Afualo?

  And when I called, I got ahold of my dad, and my dad goes, man, they really don't want us in there, cuz they hired him too.

• 52:45Drew Afualo?

  Man, they hate us in there.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Which is not for us.

• 52:49Drew Afualo?

  Not for us.

• 52:49Speaker 04

  Aw, man.

• 52:50Drew Afualo?

  So my dad, my dad got drafted, um, seventh round.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 52:55Drew Afualo?

  Right before Mr. Irrelevant, like literally before, and Mr. Irrelevant, for those of you that don't know, is the very last person, uh, picked in the draft. Hey, y'all, today's episode is sponsored by Mars. You might not realize it, but Mars is behind so many of your favorite Halloween treats, and I'm not just talking about your candy bowl. Yes, Mars makes iconic candies like M&M's, Snickers, Starburst, and Skittles, but they also have salty snacks, easy-to-make meal options, and even treats for your pets. There's truly something for everyone to enjoy this spooky season. I love getting creative this time of the year, and thanks to Mars, putting together an unforgettable Halloween for my family and friends has never been easier.

• 53:40Drew Afualo?

  I've been using some of Mars' snacks to style festive, personalized boo baskets for everyone, like my sister, my mom, my husband, I guess, and many, many other loved ones. Combining Mars' classic candies with their snacks like Cheez-It and Pringles make for the ultimate sweet and salty spread. And for Halloween night, I'm planning to make a spooky seven-layer dip, using Ben's Original Ready Rice to add a delicious savory option for the family to enjoy ahead of trick-or-treating. Of course, I couldn't forget my two children, my dogs, squid, and tuna. Mars knows, they both deserve a celebration too.

• 54:22Drew Afualo?

  I'm putting together a special Halloween pet treat jar packed with Pedigree and Greenies brand treats, which we'll be sharing with all the neighborhood pets. Find Mars' products in a retailer near you where you can shop everyday favorites and limited-time Halloween offerings. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. If you're like me, it feels like you have an infinite amount of clothes in the back of your closet that you tell yourself you're gonna wear, but never actually do, and when you get new clothes, you have absolutely no room for them. If only there was an easy way to clear out your closet, give your clothes a second life, and make a little extra money while doing it. That's where Vinted comes in.

• 55:05Drew Afualo?

  Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday sellers, people like you and me, to sell pre-loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted is so convenient and easy to use that it finally got me into my closet to declutter and organize. Selling clothes I never wear anymore frees up so much space for my new pieces, and I can feel better knowing my old clothes are getting a second life somewhere else. The app is free to download, and there are no seller fees, which makes it easy for me to list as many pieces as I want for no additional cost. Listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. Once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. Clean out your closet and give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees and free shipping in the U.S. for a limited time.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  What position did your dad play?

• 55:52Drew Afualo?

  O-line.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  That doesn't seem as crazy to be a late, late drafted O-line.

• 55:56Drew Afualo?

  No, but my dad was also older, like my dad had, didn't start playing football until he was in junior college.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  Oh, he started at Juco?

• 56:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he started at the Juco, and then got a, a scholarship to a four-year.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 56:08Drew Afualo?

  Went there, and then from there, got drafted, went to the combine.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  Twenty-four, twenty-five?

• 56:12Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like late, late twenties, which is like a hundred in NFL years.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  Was he like a pulling guard, or was he a center?

• 56:18Drew Afualo?

  He was a center, nose? Oh, a left tackle, left tackle.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, so he was very important.

• 56:24Drew Afualo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:24Speaker 04

  Blind-sided tackle.

• 56:26Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and fast as fuck.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:28Drew Afualo?

  I actually made this joke with Caleb recently because we were talking, he's one of my only friends that knows football.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  He knows it so well.

• 56:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and cares about it, and so he made a joke about, what do you think your forty time would be, to me?

• 56:41Speaker 04

  Right now?

• 56:42Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, right now, I was like, right now, like, right now, right now? He goes, yeah, I go, probably five-two. You should have seen.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  You think cold right now?

• 56:49Drew Afualo?

  You should have seen how mad he got at me.

• 56:54Drew Afualo?

  And I was like, a lot of people are not gonna get why that's really funny.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Five, five-two is, I'm not happy. Five, I mean, I made, five-two is pretty fast to just like pull up.

• 57:06Drew Afualo?

  No, that's fast as fuck, and I'm laughing, I'm laughing because I, like, even my, when I told my hus, when I told my husband that joke, he laughed. And he goes, that's funny because that's like, like, just slow enough, but just fast enough to be irritating.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true. He's so right, he's so right about that, he's so right about that.

• 57:26Drew Afualo?

  Just slow enough, just fast enough to be irritating to say.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:29Drew Afualo?

  Because if you understand football, that is a really irritating joke for me to make.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, if you'd have said five-six, I'd be like, yeah, okay, that's not crazy. That doesn't, five-six doesn't.

• 57:37Drew Afualo?

  That's why I said five-two.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Five-two is like, cuz five-two, once you get knocking around five, it's like, okay, but like, like when I was in high school, the four-nine, four-eight kids were like the fastest guys.

• 57:46Drew Afualo?

  The fa- fastest, fastest fuck, yeah.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  This is great, if your audience likes football.

• 57:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, if you like football, these are funny as fuck jokes, but I, I, I don't get to make a lot of those with a lot of my audience cuz they don't really fuck with football like that.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  Okay, that's fair, well, I think five-two is funny.

• 58:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  I think it was a funny thing.

• 58:03Drew Afualo?

  Thank you for validating, he goes, he goes, you think you could run a five, no, you couldn't, like, he got so mad at me, and he was like, I'll tell you what your forty time is, ten seconds.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  That's not true.

• 58:12Drew Afualo?

  And I was like, bitch, you're saying that, and you hurt yourself kicking, okay, what do you know, nothing. I was like, you have no idea how fast I am.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  That's the great thing about being adult, you could just say that.

• 58:23Drew Afualo?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  Like, as a kid, everybody's testing your fast every day, as a grown-up, you don't know how fast I am.

• 58:29Drew Afualo?

  And that's honestly, I feel like you're a lot like me in that it's funny to say it, like, well, we just don't know.

• 58:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:35Drew Afualo?

  We'll never know.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  No, you're not gonna run a forty.

• 58:38Drew Afualo?

  No, you could be, you could be wrong, though, I could run a five-two, I could.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  You, I, okay, here's what I would think, you clearly have fast genetics, it's in there.

• 58:47Drew Afualo?

  Hello.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, I mean, being sired, sired, maybe not the word, of a

• 58:53Drew Afualo?

  That's funny as fuck.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  High-level athlete, I feel like you could, you could probably get moving.

• 58:58Drew Afualo?

  Hello.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  What do you think your dad runs right now?

• 59:01Drew Afualo?

  Right now, my dad's probably pretty fast right now, my dad's, my dad was bodybuilding like a year or two ago.

• 59:06Speaker 04

  Damn, you got a buff dad.

• 59:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so he's huge, my dad's a big guy.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 59:10Drew Afualo?

  Um, he's six-six too, like naturally.

• 59:12Speaker 04

  Oh, cuz he was a left tackle in the NFL?

• 59:16Speaker 04

  That makes sense.

• 59:17Drew Afualo?

  Well, yes.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:18Drew Afualo?

  And that's, even, I've joked about this too on the show where, cuz I, my main sport I played when I was growing up was soccer, um, which is strange and weird, only because I'm the biggest soccer player you've ever seen in your life.

• 59:28Speaker 04

  A midfielder?

• 59:29Drew Afualo?

  No, I was a defender.

• 59:30Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 59:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was a center-left defender.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  So you have a tenacity.

• 59:34Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and I, and I was fast, like, well, what I say, what I'll say is on my player profile, which, you know, they're kinda like yelps, you know, when you get those.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  Oh, you had like a prep?

• 59:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I had a prep, high school prep.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Okay, wow.

• 59:46Drew Afualo?

  Max prep.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  So you were like very good?

• 59:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, well.

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Or you were, you were good in a way that you were looking to continue your, your career path?

• 59:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I thought that's how I was gonna go to college at first, but then I got an academic scholarship, so I decided to take that.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  The hardest one.

• 59:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. Right, for real, well, I decided to take that too because I played sports for so long at such a serious level,

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:05Drew Afualo?

  that it was just my whole life, and I was like, I didn't get to do shit, I didn't get to do anything, like, I really wasn't.

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  Training all the time.

• 1:00:10Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  Man, that sounds cool.

• 1:00:12Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I mean, it was, it was, it was to an extent, I guess it was cool, but on my player profile, it used to say deceptively fast.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:00:20Drew Afualo?

  Which is kind of mean, but still, it's on there.

• 1:00:23Speaker 04

  It does definitely come from a place. It comes from a place.

• 1:00:27Drew Afualo?

  Right, it's not, it's not a hundred percent pure intention, but I appreciate it regardless.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  You know what else is, is, is, uh, kinda mean is when they say, pure athlete.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  Or it's like, oh, so I'm just like a dumb guy. I also said that joke as if people were saying that about me.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  And that is in no way true. I played four A high school football. It was not competitive. I was good. I was not her father. And that's fine. I made my peace with that.

• 1:00:54Drew Afualo?

  My husband, um, uh, he had a chance to go to the combine, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to play anymore. Like, he was kind of over it.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  Did he play D1, I assume, then?

• 1:01:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:01:03Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he did. And then he's-

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  So you're just all athletes all around?

• 1:01:06Drew Afualo?

  Well, we're all Samoan. So it's kind of in our stars, you know?

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Man, I'm from the Northwest. A lot of great-

• 1:01:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  A lot of great, the Tuilii Asasopos.

• 1:01:15Drew Afualo?

  Yes! I'm very familiar with the Tuilii Asasopos.

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, Marcus was in high school when I was probably junior high?

• 1:01:22Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice. Okay, cool. Well, then you know better than anyone. Like, Samoans are pretty predisposed to athletics.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  In junior high school.

• 1:01:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's why I like, so, my, my husband's Samoan too. So that's why he was really good at football also. He was a-

• 1:01:37Speaker 04

  Also quick feet, maybe. I don't know. Maybe he had other inten- it wasn't just-

• 1:01:41Drew Afualo?

  He was a-

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  I'm sure he worked on it.

• 1:01:42Drew Afualo?

  A three tech. That's what he was.

• 1:01:44Speaker 04

  Oh, he played defensive tackle? Okay.

• 1:01:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so he, that's who he was. And so like, I remember, I asked him-

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  So he's big too?

• 1:01:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he's six four.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 1:01:55Drew Afualo?

  And I'm six feet. And my mom's five three, if you can believe.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  I met your mom. She is five three.

• 1:02:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, she's five three.

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  She's closer to my end of things.

• 1:02:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:04Drew Afualo?

  It's funny, cause she, like, my mom's five three, my dad's six six, my older sister is five four, and I'm, I'm six feet.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  Damn, that's tough on your sister.

• 1:02:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and then we had a, my mom had a boy, so my little brother, um, for a while, we were like, damn, he got my sister's genetics. Like, for a while, we were like, damn, he's small. That's crazy. I got the big gene. It was me. But then he's taller than me now. Now he's, he's six two now. So I'm like, okay, he's good. But he's, for a while, we were like, uh-oh.

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  My family's never smelt, felt smaller than just now.

• 1:02:36Drew Afualo?

  But I'm also unnat- like, my family's unnaturally large. Like, sometimes when, like, that's why I think height, fatness, none of that has ever registered to me, ever, because I came, I come from a very big family, like, in height and stature.

• 1:02:52Speaker 04

  Yes, it's just people are big.

• 1:02:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, people are big. So in Hollywood, everyone is this big. Everyone's about three apples tall.

• 1:02:59Speaker 04

  LA's really a tiny place.

• 1:03:01Drew Afualo?

  Yes, everyone is so on, and so when they see me, it's like, wow! Every time I go into any room in Hollywood, it's like, oh my god!

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  You should flip it on them, though, because they're littler than everybody else knows.

• 1:03:13Drew Afualo?

  Same.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  You go and you see these people, and you're like, I thought you, I didn't know you were so tiny.

• 1:03:18Drew Afualo?

  I say that to everyone. I'm always like, yeah, I don't know. Like, me, me and The Rock, like, that's why I think, I've gotten, when I first met The Rock, we were standing side by side.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Drew Afualo?

  Um, someone was like, I know you've always joked, because I've always said I'm six feet tall, but for some reason on Google, it says I'm five four. I don't know why.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  Five four?

• 1:03:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, which you know I'm not. Yeah, they are. You know I'm not. You met me.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  You're significantly taller than me.

• 1:03:42Speaker 04

  And I'm five ten.

• 1:03:45Drew Afualo?

  So-

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  Prove it.

• 1:03:48Drew Afualo?

  Well, just like the forty time, they'll never know.

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. And I run a four nine.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  I might go to Juco as well.

• 1:03:57Drew Afualo?

  I've given this joke to, to women and gay people who don't really fuck with football, but I'm like, whenever you want to really rage bait, like, an athlete, specifically a football player, but any athlete, if you ask them, like, how fast do you think you could run a forty?

• 1:04:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:12Drew Afualo?

  Whatever they say, regardless of the number, you just go, is that laser, though?

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  Oh, that's mean.

• 1:04:19Drew Afualo?

  That's mean. There you go.

• 1:04:23Drew Afualo?

  He's validating. It's funny and it's mean.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 1:04:25Drew Afualo?

  Is that laser, though?

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  I like, I like making fun of athletes because they're so strong.

• 1:04:30Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 1:04:33Drew Afualo?

  You and I have that in common.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  I think it's funny-

• 1:04:35Drew Afualo?

  I also, I like to do it-

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  I think it's funny to lampoon people stronger than me physically.

• 1:04:39Drew Afualo?

  I honestly, and I like to do it because I think, uh, because I came up on the internet, like, attacking misogynistic men.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:04:46Drew Afualo?

  I think a lot of times, they just assume I don't know a lot about sports or football or anything. So when I make a laser joke, like, a lot of people are like, laser? And I'm like, yeah, laser's the most accurate reading of the time.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Drew Afualo?

  A lot of them will say stopwatch. Yeah, which is, that could be anytime. That's subject to human error.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  You know who else gets mad about saying wrong forty times is misogynistic men?

• 1:05:07Drew Afualo?

  That's exactly, exactly. Just kidding.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  What's your forty time, little guy?

• 1:05:14Drew Afualo?

  Such a dumb thing to measure, too. It's never gonna serve you unless you're in the NFL.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's also a weird distance. Why did they pick, like-

• 1:05:21Drew Afualo?

  Forty yards.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  Most plays aren't forty yards.

• 1:05:23Drew Afualo?

  I know. Maybe it's the burst. They want to see the quick twitch.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  But then there's also, like, the shuttle run.

• 1:05:28Drew Afualo?

  The three cone shuttle.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, what are we doing?

• 1:05:29Drew Afualo?

  The vert.

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  Let's talk about-

• 1:05:30Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, when they do vert in, in the combine, I'm like, what's that gonna help?

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:05:34Drew Afualo?

  You don't need a jump.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  Sometimes I like to see the compi- combine and things that I can do, like, I could do two twenty-five a few times. I still got it.

• 1:05:43Drew Afualo?

  Oh, well, I mean, if I warmed up and I had the chalk, I'm sure. I'm sure I could do that.

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  Hit me on the stopwatch, it's a five one.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 1:05:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, on stopwatch, okay, five three. Okay. Okay, I do, I'm gonna pivot really quick to, um, some fun facts about you.

• 1:05:58Speaker 04

  About, about me?

• 1:06:00Drew Afualo?

  About you, yes. Well, you'll let me know if they're fun.

• 1:06:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:06:03Drew Afualo?

  And I always say, I always say-

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  Feel fun.

• 1:06:05Drew Afualo?

  I'll always say, if they're not fun, um, you can let me know, and I count it against Amanda and her job. So no pressure.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Oh, great. No, so it's just like a job hangs in the balance?

• 1:06:14Drew Afualo?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  About whether or not I'm having a good time?

• 1:06:17Drew Afualo?

  Yes, yes. That's how serious I take your happiness on this show. Okay?

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:06:21Drew Afualo?

  Here we go. Okay, this first one, it says that you had a cameo in a George Harrison music video.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:06:29Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:06:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was fun.

• 1:06:30Drew Afualo?

  How did that come about?

• 1:06:33Drew Afualo?

  You're not remembering.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Oh, Lance Bangs. Lance Bangs was directing a George Harrison video, and asked me if I could be in it, and I said, hell yeah. And then I danced with one of the Arquettes. I can't remember.

• 1:06:46Drew Afualo?

  Cause of the itis.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  Exactly what's happening.

• 1:06:49Drew Afualo?

  We have the same itis.

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  But there's footage of me dancing with her online. In a Beatles music video.

• 1:06:55Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  And then she was like, I love comedy. One of my friends, he does comedy, Dave Chappelle, and I was like, alright, alright.

• 1:07:02Drew Afualo?

  Alright, alright.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  Fucking, what are you talking about?

• 1:07:06Drew Afualo?

  Okay, well, in that case, I don't do comedy, so forget it.

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  I was in a Beatles music video, yeah.

• 1:07:12Drew Afualo?

  That's very cool.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, crazy. I forget about it.

• 1:07:14Drew Afualo?

  Is that like a fun, like, icebreaker you, you remember sometimes?

• 1:07:17Speaker 04

  I never bring it up to anyone.

• 1:07:19Drew Afualo?

  Ever? Yeah, me either.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  You know what's funny, though?

• 1:07:22Drew Afualo?

  What?

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  My- She said, I hate that I told this story. My sister-in-law, my wife's sister, found it out and called my wife, and she was like, who's my favorite Beatle? Who's my favorite Beatle? My wife was like, I don't know. She's like, George Harrison. You didn't tell me David was in his group. So funny. So funny to make a call and say, who's my favorite Beatle?

• 1:07:43Drew Afualo?

  And she's like, what? What are you talking about?

• 1:07:48Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy. You were in her favorite Beatles music video.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was in that, I was in that music video, though. Yeah, with a bunch of other comics. Atsuko is in there.

• 1:07:56Drew Afualo?

  Oh, I love Atsuko. We love her here. She's the best. She's a good time.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's so fun.

• 1:08:02Drew Afualo?

  She's really fun. Okay, this next one says, in 2019, you became the official voice announcer of Comedy Central.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  That is true, too.

• 1:08:09Drew Afualo?

  That's cool, too.

• 1:08:11Speaker 04

  I still do that job.

• 1:08:12Drew Afualo?

  Oh my gosh, how fun. Do you like voiceover work? Have you done a lot of voiceover work?

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  I've done a couple cartoons, yeah.

• 1:08:17Drew Afualo?

  How is it? I've, I've tried out for a few. I'm trying to, again, I have not booked one. That's why I'm Donkey Kong. But I am, I am interested in it. I have done a few reads for voiceover.

• 1:08:27Speaker 04

  It's so much fun, especially like, one of my cartoons, it was all COVID, so it was like, I wasn't even living in LA. I was in Denver, and I would just go to the studio, and they would patch me into the, and then I would do all my, so you would just go do an episode at a time? So yeah, I love, I love cartoons.

• 1:08:43Drew Afualo?

  That's cool.

• 1:08:43Speaker 04

  I'd love to do another one, if, if you're watching.

• 1:08:45Drew Afualo?

  If anyone's watching and anyone's interested.

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  Both of us. Look at this.

• 1:08:49Drew Afualo?

  Donkey and Diddy Kong?

• 1:08:50Speaker 04

  Maybe I'll change my name a little.

• 1:08:53Drew Afualo?

  If that's okay with you guys.

• 1:08:54Speaker 04

  In light of current events.

• 1:08:59Drew Afualo?

  Oh my gosh, I would love, I would love to do voiceover work. I think it's so fun.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  It's really fun. It is, it is a good job. I think you could do it. You have a good voice.

• 1:09:05Drew Afualo?

  I think so. I can't sing for shit, but I, I would think I could definitely-

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  I wasn't talking about that at all.

• 1:09:10Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, well, I'm glad to hear it. Because don't ask me, David. Don't, okay? I can't. There's no point. But I, I would love to do voiceover, like, um, I have noticed, though, a trend in a lot of the voiceovers I've been getting, they're all like bitchy women, or old women.

• 1:09:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Drew Afualo?

  Which, you know, that's tough, but you know what? It's alright.

• 1:09:29Speaker 04

  It's crazy, because you're like, this is my voice.

• 1:09:32Speaker 04

  Like, sometimes I'll get auditions, and it'll be like, lovable sidekick, as dumb as he is, happy to be there. And I'm like, alright, I guess that's what you think I look like, but I can't, I could be a superhero. I could, you can't see.

• 1:09:44Drew Afualo?

  You're telling me.

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  It's up to you.

• 1:09:48Drew Afualo?

  I, I did that once when I, I did a read for a voiceover for an adult cartoon, and I got a, a callback for it, like, a second read.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:09:56Drew Afualo?

  And then they asked me to read for another character, too, like, in that read. They were like, oh, read for this one again, and also-

• 1:10:01Speaker 04

  And then you think you're really in, because you're like, they're asking me to do other shit.

• 1:10:03Drew Afualo?

  No, for real, and I never heard from them again, obviously. But when I did that, that other character, like, the, the logline for her was like, uh, that she was like a shitbag teacher, like, just an old shitbag teacher that's bad and hates kids, and then also, um, has a really deep, almost manly voice.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  Man.

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  Them loglines be hurting your feelings, man.

• 1:10:26Drew Afualo?

  Oh, I was like, because the first one was like a, a girl, like, a young woman, and then the next, I was thinking to myself, you heard my, the tone of my voice, and you were like, let's have a read for the smoker old teacher.

• 1:10:38Speaker 04

  That's what sucks, and then that's always when you're, when you're, whoever calls you with the auditions is like, they say it's basically for you.

• 1:10:46Drew Afualo?

  Written for you.

• 1:10:47Speaker 04

  Is you. And it's just like, he's a gullible idiot, and you're like, oh, okay. Cool, man.

• 1:10:54Drew Afualo?

  Oh, perfect. Oh, love. That's why mine is like, huge bitch in the office.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  They said it's basically you.

• 1:11:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they said, literally made for you. No callback.

• 1:11:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, man, this is a hard business.

• 1:11:08Drew Afualo?

  But you know what? We're loving it. We are loving it. Okay, next one.

• 1:11:12Speaker 04

  What's the Comedy Central?

• 1:11:14Drew Afualo?

  Exactly. Okay, this next one says, you once described your childhood self as a, quote, weird kid who drank a lot of water and watched a lot of TV.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  Where did you find that?

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Hey, man. That's personal.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is very, it is very accurate. I, I kinda still in those things.

• 1:11:38Drew Afualo?

  Drank a lot of water, huh? And watched a lot of TV.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  I drank a lot of water, yeah.

• 1:11:43Drew Afualo?

  That's good. That's probably why your skin's so nice.

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I gotta sit, I gotta, I gotta routine as well, but yeah, I drink, I'm pretty heavily.

• 1:11:48Drew Afualo?

  That's nice. Damn.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, my family calls me a guzzler.

• 1:11:52Drew Afualo?

  Even as a kid, you loved water?

• 1:11:53Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:11:54Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:11:55Speaker 04

  I have an insatiable thirst.

• 1:11:57Drew Afualo?

  That's nice, though. That's good.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  Doesn't translate to why I chose this career or anything.

• 1:12:02Drew Afualo?

  It literally, uh, that's like, the only other person I've ever met like that is my husband, who like-

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  He drinks a lot?

• 1:12:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, water, like loves water and like really doesn't like anything else, like-

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, water's the only way I feel like my thirst, like other things taste good.

• 1:12:15Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  But the problem is if I start drinking other things the way I drink water, so it'll be like, my wife will give me like a lemonade or something-

• 1:12:22Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  And then it's just like she turns her head and it's gone. Like, it's just so, it's so fast.

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  For my health reasons, I kinda have to stick to mostly water.

• 1:12:33Drew Afualo?

  My husband said this once too about certain treats in the house. Like, he's like, they do something weird to me. That's what he, that's how he describes it. He goes, they do something weird to me. And I go, what does that mean? And then he's like, it's just like, I can't stop eating them, like, and, and I'm gonna eat all of them and then I'm gonna eat the next bag. So like, I need to like ration.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:53Drew Afualo?

  Cause they do something really weird to me.

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  That's like, when I eat something I really like, I describe it as fucked up.

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Like, I'm always like, oh, man. Like, they'll be like, how was it? I'll be like, that was fucked up. It's fucked up. We can't, I can't be like, be over here all the time. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:09Drew Afualo?

  Me and Caleb joked about this, um, when we went to Ireland together last year, but like, I was telling him, you know, like, um, if you've grown up like fat or plus size in any way, and or in a fat family, I was like, did you ever eat like, like big guy shit? That's how I describe it. When you have a meal that's like a big guy shit, like, the kind of shit that you eat and your stomach feels rock hard, and when you have to go home, you have to like lay on the, on the ground and put your feet up on the couch?

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:36Drew Afualo?

  You know what I mean? Like, big guy shit.

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:38Drew Afualo?

  And we were laughing about like the biggest guy meals we've ever had.

• 1:13:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:43Drew Afualo?

  And I was telling him at one point when me and my husband were just dating, like, we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, we would, every Sunday, we would wake up, and we would go to his house, like his parents' house, cause his mom would make this huge breakfast. So we would eat this enormous fucking breakfast, all the, all the best foods. And then, maybe a couple hours later, we would have his little brother go to Costco and get food from there, but we would each get a chicken bake, each, each. You know how big those things are?

• 1:14:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.

• 1:14:09Drew Afualo?

  Each. Then I would get a pretzel also. He would also get a hot dog. We'd each eat all of those.

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:16Drew Afualo?

  Then probably two hours later, be like, we should get Popeyes for dinner.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  Man.

• 1:14:20Drew Afualo?

  And that's, that's the type of shit I was on for like years.

• 1:14:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, me and my wife were on our health journey or whatever, blah, blah, blah. It's so fun to be fat and love together.

• 1:14:29Drew Afualo?

  I agree.

• 1:14:30Speaker 04

  Just like in the house getting nasty.

• 1:14:32Drew Afualo?

  Oh, it's the best. It's the fucking best. Everyone's stomach hurts. It's like, you feel disgusting and so full of grease and awful.

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  I got Thai and Chinese.

• 1:14:44Drew Afualo?

  You know what's bad? When you're like, God, we had that yesterday.

• 1:14:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:47Drew Afualo?

  When you're ordering food, you're like, oh, we just had that.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Drew Afualo?

  Cause you're eating like shit all the time.

• 1:14:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's just like, yeah, we, yeah.

• 1:14:53Drew Afualo?

  Not one solid poop in months.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  But it's like-

• 1:14:56Drew Afualo?

  Oh, it's just the best.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  It's like, I, you know, when you see like crackheads in love? And you're like, it sucks, but like, they are in love. That's how it felt when we were doing shit like that. You know what I mean? Where it's just like, okay, this is not great.

• 1:15:13Drew Afualo?

  No.

• 1:15:13Speaker 04

  There's like trash everywhere, but like, we're just on our new couch that we purchased together.

• 1:15:18Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 1:15:19Speaker 04

  And there's just like-

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  Food trash everywhere.

• 1:15:24Drew Afualo?

  Just a massacre.

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:26Drew Afualo?

  Everywhere.

• 1:15:27Speaker 04

  We're drinking like Vietnamese coffee at night, like-

• 1:15:28Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:28Speaker 04

  Who gives a fuck? I love you so much!

• 1:15:34Drew Afualo?

  Vietnamese coffee makes me blow shit up my back like a toddler.

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's nuts!

• 1:15:39Drew Afualo?

  And I used to have that shit like once a day. I'd be like, fuck it. Oh, my gosh.

• 1:15:44Speaker 04

  I can't even handle whole ones. I just like it cause it's orange.

• 1:15:48Speaker 04

  Is that weird? I like drinking colors.

• 1:15:50Drew Afualo?

  No, I think, I think you just like, I think you just like what you like.

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, but mostly I, I do like to drink water. I, I'm-

• 1:15:57Drew Afualo?

  We're, we're, we're in a better phase now.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:00Drew Afualo?

  More balance.

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. Crazy pull on that one.

• 1:16:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  That's really wild.

• 1:16:05Drew Afualo?

  I like to describe that when you said like it's fucked up. I like to describe it like, when you eat like an asshole.

• 1:16:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:11Drew Afualo?

  I was like, she eats like an asshole. That's how I was describing myself.

• 1:16:14Speaker 04

  Same, same. No, I know exactly what you mean.

• 1:16:16Drew Afualo?

  And it's fun. Sometimes you gotta do it.

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  It's fun to be, whatever.

• 1:16:18Drew Afualo?

  It's like snakes, like sometimes you gotta squeeze the venom out, just so they can, it's gotta get out.

• 1:16:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, every now and then.

• 1:16:24Drew Afualo?

  So sometimes you gotta eat like that.

• 1:16:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:25Drew Afualo?

  That's nice, though.

• 1:16:28Drew Afualo?

  Okay, last one fact. It says, do you remember what Halloween costume you were wearing in this photo? And I have the photo for you.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  What the fuck?

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  A missed call doesn't feel like anything. No red flag, no notification screaming at you. It just disappears into your call log. And nine times out of ten, that was someone ready to hand you money. That's why today's episode is brought to you by QUO, spelled Q-U-O. The business phone system built so you never miss a call. Here's what I like about it. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place, so anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. No more, wait, who talked to this customer last? And if you're worried about after-hours leads slipping through, QUO's optional built-in AI agent can answer questions and even book appointments while your team's offline. It's the number one rated business phone system on G2, and over ninety thousand businesses already trust it to stay reachable.

• 1:17:38Speaker 02

  Money is on the line. Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free. Plus, get twenty percent off your first six months when you go to quo.com/tech. That's Q-U-O dot com slash tech.

• 1:17:53Drew Afualo?

  It's so cute!

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  That's crazy. I was, okay-

• 1:17:57Drew Afualo?

  You were a cute ass kid.

• 1:17:58Speaker 04

  I, thank you. I was Worf, uh, from Star Trek.

• 1:18:02Drew Afualo?

  I was gonna say.

• 1:18:03Speaker 04

  My little friend was a Ferengi. But he didn't commit to the entire bit in the way. And you know what's funny about that picture? That little kid, the little one?

• 1:18:13Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 1:18:14Speaker 04

  He's like seven feet tall now.

• 1:18:15Drew Afualo?

  Damn.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're-

• 1:18:16Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy. That's a devil.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  Their parents were athletes, though.

• 1:18:19Drew Afualo?

  Oh.

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  Mom played basketball, dad ran track at USC, so they, they all got really tall. Shout out to the Andrews family, but, yeah, I was, that's, that's nuts.

• 1:18:28Drew Afualo?

  That is so cute. But you were from Star Trek?

• 1:18:31Speaker 04

  I was Worf from Star Trek.

• 1:18:33Drew Afualo?

  You a big Star Trek fan?

• 1:18:34Speaker 04

  Uh, I think I watched a lot of TNG just because I drink a water and watching TV is on in the nineties so much. Because I don't really, I haven't really watched a lot of the other ones, but I've watched a lot of TNG.

• 1:18:46Drew Afualo?

  What was your, uh, like favorite show when you were a kid? Cause did you watch a lot of TV? Did you have like any faves?

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  I really don't prescribe to favorites like that because it's just like, I'm like, I'm like Taylor, I got eras, you know?

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  You know what's weird? I got really obsessed, this is weird, in fifth grade, I, I ditched most of it.

• 1:19:04Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  And I was staying home and I was-

• 1:19:06Drew Afualo?

  Damn, in fifth grade?

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, man.

• 1:19:08Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  I was kinda a wild kid. Uh, I was, I ditched most of fifth grade, so I was just like, I would just stay at home and watch, uh, do you guys know what, do you know what PAX is?

• 1:19:16Drew Afualo?

  PAX?

• 1:19:17Speaker 04

  It was like this vaguely Christian channel.

• 1:19:21Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  Because it wasn't, we didn't have cable.

• 1:19:23Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 1:19:24Speaker 04

  So it was regular, so it was vaguely Christian.

• 1:19:26Drew Afualo?

  It was like the bunny ears TV.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, but the lineup in the morning would be, uh, uh, Highway to Heaven, and then Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

• 1:19:35Drew Afualo?

  Okay, I do know that.

• 1:19:36Speaker 04

  And then, uh, like Touched by an Angel.

• 1:19:38Drew Afualo?

  Okay, I remember that.

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  And then by that was, time that was over, the daytime slop would start, so I could like transition into like Ricky Lake Jenny Jones, and kinda ride that out through the afternoon.

• 1:19:49Drew Afualo?

  Nice.

• 1:19:50Speaker 04

  And then by then, all my friends are coming home from school and I just go outside. But like, that kinda morning lineup was really big for me.

• 1:19:58Drew Afualo?

  Man, you did watch a lot of TV.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  So much.

• 1:20:00Drew Afualo?

  Lot of nonsense.

• 1:20:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, not good. I don't, I still don't really have a, like I would say, a great taste in television.

• 1:20:05Drew Afualo?

  No? What do you, what do you like now? Do you have any TV shows you're liking now?

• 1:20:08Speaker 04

  I've been watching that Mobland show with Tom Hardy and Pierce Brosnan.

• 1:20:12Drew Afualo?

  Okay, I've only seen the cover art. I haven't watched it.

• 1:20:14Speaker 04

  It's exactly what you think about. It's like not-

• 1:20:16Drew Afualo?

  What you imagine?

• 1:20:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's not interesting at all. I, I mean, I like some, I just, I get worn out by prestige television, you know?

• 1:20:24Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  Like, it's like Succession. I was like, thank God, this is once a week.

• 1:20:30Speaker 04

  Time out, cuz I can't.

• 1:20:31Drew Afualo?

  I'm exhausted.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  I can't like binge this.

• 1:20:34Drew Afualo?

  I feel that. I, I, I'm very strange about TV. I, I've like, kind of likened it to what Chris Fleming described as like, a culture scavenger. He's like, I like to go in and dig around in the trash when everyone's done with it, years later.

• 1:20:47Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 1:20:47Drew Afualo?

  That's kinda how I move too.

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  I, I, cuz I hate, there's nothing, I, it's always feels so corny when a show's popping and you're watching that show. You know what I mean? Like, I used to love to be like, I've never seen Game of Thrones. Then my wife is like, you've never seen Game of Thrones? And I watched it and that shit was amazing.

• 1:21:04Drew Afualo?

  It was incredible.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  I was really wrong.

• 1:21:05Drew Afualo?

  Up until the end. It was, it was incredible until the end.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't watch it cuz somebody told me that black guys don't have dicks.

• 1:21:11Drew Afualo?

  Well, no, there's one black guy that doesn't.

• 1:21:13Speaker 04

  But the way that you even, even that, I was like, I'm out.

• 1:21:17Drew Afualo?

  Me thinking, I'm me thinking for a second. I was like, me thinking. But there, there is one, yeah, there's one, there's one that doesn't, and he is a main character, so I get it.

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  Somebody told me that and I was like, I'm good.

• 1:21:27Drew Afualo?

  You're like, hey, fuck this show.

• 1:21:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I don't love magic like that, but.

• 1:21:32Drew Afualo?

  You like fantasy stuff?

• 1:21:33Speaker 04

  No, I don't really. I'm like, pretty grounded.

• 1:21:36Drew Afualo?

  In reality?

• 1:21:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:37Drew Afualo?

  You like a lot of realistic shows? Is that kinda your vibe?

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, or like, really stupid ones.

• 1:21:42Drew Afualo?

  Like, really, like, like comedy kinda deal?

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, like hard comedies and stuff like that.

• 1:21:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, there are some, there are some movies that I know, like, nobody will ever watch or give a fuck about, but I think is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

• 1:21:55Speaker 04

  Oh, give me an example, I would love to hear that.

• 1:21:57Drew Afualo?

  Um, do you remember the movie Heavyweights?

• 1:22:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Drew Afualo?

  From Disney Channel? I, I recently re-watched it. It's, you should watch it if you, if you haven't seen it in a while.

• 1:22:07Speaker 04

  That movie hurt my feelings cuz it was like, Ben Stiller was so mean.

• 1:22:11Drew Afualo?

  He was so mean, but when you re-watch it, like, it's actually a really beautiful depiction of, of fatness with children, like, when they're surrounded by other fat people.

• 1:22:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:20Drew Afualo?

  They're like, this is the best because like, no one's the fat kid and who cares? Cuz the kids don't care that they're fat. Everybody else does.

• 1:22:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:26Drew Afualo?

  So when they're all together, it's actually really beautiful, the way they talk about it, cuz they're like, who cares? Who cares if I like to eat? Who cares if I don't wanna lose weight? Who cares?

• 1:22:33Speaker 04

  Beautiful.

• 1:22:34Drew Afualo?

  And I re-watched it recently.

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  That's not what everybody was talking back then, but.

• 1:22:36Drew Afualo?

  At all. But honestly, it was fucking hilarious still. Like, there's a part in the beginning when they send him, like, they tell him, you're going to fat camp, and the kid goes to his dad, he goes, you're fatter than me, you go to the fat camp. They could never put that on TV now, but that would be hilarious. That's like one. Also, this movie that's recent, but had John Cena in it, Ricky Stanicki.

• 1:22:56Speaker 04

  Oh, where he was fake?

• 1:22:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he was like playing, yeah, he was playing the fake guy they always put stuff on.

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  And who were their friends? It was like, it was like Zac Efron?

• 1:23:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, Zac Efron was one, there was.

• 1:23:06Speaker 04

  I watched that.

• 1:23:07Drew Afualo?

  That Cheeto Santino guy, I think he was one of them. That one, I was cracking the fuck up. No one cares about that movie, no one's ever gonna watch it. I loved it.

• 1:23:14Speaker 04

  You're like, very, do you like, like slapstick?

• 1:23:17Drew Afualo?

  I love slapstick comedy.

• 1:23:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:23:18Drew Afualo?

  Like, The Rock and Kevin Hart together, like, I know people are like, this is fucking stupid. I'm giggling. When I watch them together, I'm giggling.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  Who's your fa- what's your favorite rock collab?

• 1:23:27Drew Afualo?

  Ooh, Hobbs and Shaw, that's easy.

• 1:23:29Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:23:30Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, Fast and the Furious spinoff, Hobbs and Shaw, him and Jason Statham, comedy genius.

• 1:23:35Speaker 04

  You know what, I'm gonna, this is a crazy opinion, my opinion. We moved past it. Uh, you know what my favorite rock movie is?

• 1:23:43Drew Afualo?

  What?

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  I think The Rundown is the best movie he ever did.

• 1:23:46Drew Afualo?

  Interesting.

• 1:23:47Speaker 04

  Him and Sean William Scott.

• 1:23:48Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's a really interesting pick.

• 1:23:50Speaker 04

  And Christopher Walken.

• 1:23:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:51Speaker 04

  I think it's really funny. I think he acted really well. I, I love it.

• 1:23:56Drew Afualo?

  What an interesting pick from his discography.

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  I know, it's really weird.

• 1:24:00Drew Afualo?

  Quite a bit of like, movies somewhat in this vein.

• 1:24:03Speaker 04

  It's before he really got off the porch, he was still wrestling a lot more then, too.

• 1:24:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's true, yeah. When he did like, Walking Tall and all that.

• 1:24:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm like, definitely from, I, I saw him go from SmackDown.

• 1:24:14Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  And like, loud shirts and being like, it doesn't matter what you, you know what I mean? Chabronis or whatever. But like, yeah, I really love that movie.

• 1:24:21Drew Afualo?

  No, my, like, and you probably know this too, if you did know someone, someone's love WWE.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:26Drew Afualo?

  So like, I, I.

• 1:24:27Speaker 04

  A lot of, a lot in there.

• 1:24:29Drew Afualo?

  Samwans in there. Yeah, like, the Usos and everything.

• 1:24:32Speaker 04

  Saying it weird, I feel like I'm saying.

• 1:24:36Drew Afualo?

  I know, Ricky, she follows me on Instagram, so, yes. He and I have that, we have Samwan personhood in common, the two of us. And we're built similar, so, you know.

• 1:24:45Speaker 04

  Big footprint for such a small island.

• 1:24:47Drew Afualo?

  I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, it, like, it's always like in the.

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  Population?

• 1:24:52Drew Afualo?

  In, in Samoa. It's, it's like, smaller than one city in LA, I know that.

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  Okay, so is the.

• 1:24:58Drew Afualo?

  Like, all of Samoa is smaller, it could fit in LA.

• 1:25:01Speaker 04

  So the population abroad is bigger than the population there?

• 1:25:03Drew Afualo?

  Um, no, I would say, just generally, it's just still very small. Like, the diaspora is pretty broad, but there's just not nearly enough of us. But I did do a report on this in college once, that, um, they call, like, a lot of recruiters call Samoa Football Island, uh, because it's like they.

• 1:25:20Speaker 04

  That does make sense.

• 1:25:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's like the place they breed football players, like, it's like, they're made for it there.

• 1:25:24Speaker 04

  Is it cuz they were seafaring people? Is that why they're so big?

• 1:25:27Drew Afualo?

  It's, it's because they're so big.

• 1:25:29Speaker 04

  Gets so big.

• 1:25:29Drew Afualo?

  Mm-hmm, and fast. Like, they're, they're very light on their feet, and that's like, and strong, so that's like, the biggest, that's why they're built for sports like football, essentially. Um, but I saw, I, when I did this report, it was like, it was this study or something about, like, Samoan men going to the league, and it was like, they're five or six times more likely to go than any other race in the world.

• 1:25:51Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:25:51Drew Afualo?

  Which, per capita, how many Samoan people there are in the world, that's an insane statistic.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  No, it makes sense because hardly anybody plays professional anyways, right?

• 1:26:00Drew Afualo?

  Right, yeah. Like, it's less than 1% for the average man to, like, their likelihood to go to the NFL, it's less than 1%, but like, Samoan men are five or six more, times more likely to go. Which is why, like, the NFL was so like, whatevers to me, growing up, um, because I knew so many people who went. Not just my dad, but like.

• 1:26:19Speaker 04

  That's the least relatable thing I've ever heard.

• 1:26:23Drew Afualo?

  But that's really relatable to all Polynesians, not just Samwans, but like Tongans too, there's a lot of Tongan people in there too. Um, but even like.

• 1:26:29Speaker 04

  PI guys. That's what they used to call themselves in my junior high school.

• 1:26:33Drew Afualo?

  EI guys?

• 1:26:34Speaker 04

  PI.

• 1:26:34Drew Afualo?

  Oh, PI, yes, Pacific Outlander, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 1:26:37Speaker 04

  And a lot of them used to breakdance.

• 1:26:39Drew Afualo?

  Yep, that's true. They do love to dance. There's honestly, and I will say too, not for nothing, I will say too, like, um, a lot of, cuz I've noticed this too, growing up, Samwans and, and black people too, have a lot of crossover in media. Like, we, we watch a lot of the same shows, we listen to a lot of the same music, like, we, we kind of like, crossover a lot in that.

• 1:27:00Speaker 04

  I think that a lot of people crossover with black people more than they'd like to admit.

• 1:27:05Drew Afualo?

  That's true. And that's called colonizing.

• 1:27:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:09Drew Afualo?

  That's called stealing and gentrifying, yes, of course. Yeah, you're right about that.

• 1:27:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:15Speaker 04

  Shout out to all the PI guys from junior high school.

• 1:27:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, shout out, shouts out to the PI guys, love y'all. I'm glad you know a lot about Polynesians and sports too, I never really get to talk about that very often.

• 1:27:26Speaker 04

  I, I mean, I guess I'd never knew that I did until now.

• 1:27:29Drew Afualo?

  We're discovering it together.

• 1:27:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, this is good.

• 1:27:32Drew Afualo?

  This is good for us.

• 1:27:33Speaker 04

  I'm gonna call my wife after this, I got something else.

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  Another skillset just dropped.

• 1:27:39Drew Afualo?

  Hell, yeah. Another thing I can relate to people on. Okay, it's kinda to wrap us, I know we talked a little bit about your career and then we were just being hilarious and silly the rest of the time, but you, I do, I do wanna tell you though, I, I'm a huge fan of your comedy. I think you are so funny, and I do love the clips of your podcasts I've seen as well, uh, very funny. I do enjoy your humor and your comedy, I feel like I, there's a lot of crossover with me specifically, cuz you talk about a lot of stuff I, I feel like I can relate to. So, I really love you as a comic, so do you have any advice for any aspiring comics?

• 1:28:15Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, uh, learn a trade.

• 1:28:19Drew Afualo?

  Don't quit your day job.

• 1:28:21Speaker 04

  I think that, like, advice to aspiring comics. I would say, just like, make sure you think it's funny. I think some, sometimes in doing this, there's like, they always want, like, especially with social media now, it's like, oh, everybody's talking about this, so I have to do this thing, but it's kinda like, if you don't like it, you're not really gonna ever be happy.

• 1:28:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, your heart's not in it.

• 1:28:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, cuz everybody, a bunch of people are gonna hate your shit all the time and say no, so you might as well be, they're like, saying no to shit you like.

• 1:28:49Drew Afualo?

  That's true, that's such a good point, cuz I, I think sometimes too, when I like, make jokes, I'm like, well, I thought that was hilarious. I think it's gonna be hilarious.

• 1:28:57Speaker 04

  I have to. That's like, kinda it. Everything else is like, alright, man, I don't know.

• 1:29:03Drew Afualo?

  Everything else is up in the air, but I have to, at the very least, love it. I think that's funny too, and I, even like, back in the day when I would make videos all the time, uh, just making fun of men or roasting them, sometimes my husband would watch my videos and he'd be like, that's so annoying, cuz I can tell you made yourself laugh in that one. Like, some of them I pre-wrote, like, I, I would like, plan, but then sometimes off the dome, I would say something and I would make myself laugh.

• 1:29:28Speaker 04

  That's so.

• 1:29:28Drew Afualo?

  And you could tell.

• 1:29:29Speaker 04

  There's like, been this thing where people are like, I hate it when Kamala, I don't know, man, if I could tell a joke a hundred times and still laugh at it, that's pretty good. I think, that's like, a pretty good joke, if I still think it's funny.

• 1:29:42Drew Afualo?

  You're so right about that, and you're so real, because sometimes, and this is annoying, but it, like, with Caleb, sometimes people will be critical of whether or not, they're like, oh, Caleb's funnier than everyone. I'm always like, okay, whatever, whatever, whatever.

• 1:29:54Speaker 04

  He's up there though.

• 1:29:55Drew Afualo?

  He is, no, he is one of the funniest people to ever live, I know that's true. But I, sometimes I think, I'm like, I think sometimes you guys think that because, for someone like me, when I'm talking to Caleb, I, I'm a big laugher, you've seen that, I love to laugh, I love to be entertained.

• 1:30:09Speaker 04

  You've been very generous.

• 1:30:12Drew Afualo?

  But I'm also, I'm not too proud to laugh. Like, I love to be entertained just as much, so it's almost like, laughing is part of it, so like, if I'm making myself laugh, like, obviously, it's still hitting. I'm gonna keep telling it till it doesn't hit anymore.

• 1:30:26Speaker 04

  And people forget, I think sometimes it's about me having fun.

• 1:30:28Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:29Speaker 04

  Like, so sometimes if I'm laughing, I, I, I don't know, it's just what I like.

• 1:30:34Drew Afualo?

  The amount of times I've said that, I'm like, well, I'm gonna, well, I have a microphone and you don't, so, I'm gonna keep telling it, cuz it's gonna make me laugh.

• 1:30:41Speaker 04

  And, I'll be completely honest, my shit misses exactly as much as it hits.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  You see the hits on whatever, but like in life? In the car?

• 1:30:52Drew Afualo?

  It's fifty fifty.

• 1:30:53Speaker 04

  You should see my Costco bits. It's like, a lot of them are so bad. Just not going good.

• 1:30:58Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 1:30:59Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 1:30:59Drew Afualo?

  You're trial running them on your wife?

• 1:31:01Speaker 04

  I would, but it's just bits for the sake of bit. It's not even like, I'm not like, I could take this to the stage. It's just like-

• 1:31:06Drew Afualo?

  You're telling me, girl.

• 1:31:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just like-

• 1:31:08Drew Afualo?

  I do that all the time. I'm like, that's for me.

• 1:31:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just like, isn't it funny if I pretend my nipples are avocados? And then I'm not gonna do anything with that. Other than I would like it. I would like it if she liked it. And she doesn't always.

• 1:31:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:21Speaker 04

  She doesn't always-

• 1:31:22Drew Afualo?

  I feel that.

• 1:31:22Speaker 04

  Sometimes she likes it though.

• 1:31:25Speaker 04

  Sometimes she really likes it. So I mean, that's like-

• 1:31:28Drew Afualo?

  I feel that. Sometimes I'll say a joke that I'm like, only my sister's gonna laugh at this. Or only my husband's gonna laugh at this. And I'm like, and that's who I do it for.

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:39Drew Afualo?

  I was like, if this hits with no one else in the room, I got one laugh.

• 1:31:42Speaker 04

  It sucks sometimes because I can't not.

• 1:31:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:45Speaker 04

  Like, I'll just be like-

• 1:31:46Drew Afualo?

  Me either.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  And then it has to, you know? And it's like, I know, I know it's not for everybody.

• 1:31:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:52Speaker 04

  It can't all be for everybody.

• 1:31:53Drew Afualo?

  Sometimes when I'm on camera, I'll literally think like, I'll make a joke and I, and no one really laughs. But I'm like, I hope they keep that in so that when the person I said that for does watch it, they do laugh.

• 1:32:04Speaker 04

  That's the best comment. You see that comment? And then you have to quit scrolling. Like if somebody's like, oh my god, Drew, I s- They acted like Drew didn't say that. And that shit was the funniest shit. And then you gotta be like, alright, you gotta turn off the TV.

• 1:32:18Drew Afualo?

  And that's who I do it for.

• 1:32:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:19Drew Afualo?

  I'm sure that's who you do it for too.

• 1:32:21Speaker 04

  That is, that one weird guy. That one weird guy.

• 1:32:26Drew Afualo?

  And the weird guy, probably Donkey Kong. If I had to guess.

• 1:32:29Speaker 04

  And that is full circle.

• 1:32:30Drew Afualo?

  Yes, there you go. That's called looping it back to the beginning. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.

• 1:32:36Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me. It's so fun.

• 1:32:37Drew Afualo?

  I think you're a fucking hoot.

• 1:32:38Speaker 04

  I mean, you're so fun. I think this would have been just as fun had you been dressed up like Wario.

• 1:32:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's true. I agree. Or Toad, or Bowser.

• 1:32:46Speaker 04

  Or Chrome Peach.

• 1:32:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, or Chrome Peach.

• 1:32:48Speaker 04

  Anybody, really.

• 1:32:49Drew Afualo?

  Imagine, you'd probably be so scared if I was like, all one color.

• 1:32:53Speaker 04

  I-

• 1:32:53Drew Afualo?

  Maybe.

• 1:32:53Speaker 04

  It would have been tough on me because I would have been intimidated. Had I come in here and you were monochromatic? I would have, I would have-

• 1:33:01Drew Afualo?

  Would have been a little difficult for me to focus.

• 1:33:02Speaker 04

  I'd have been shook.

• 1:33:04Drew Afualo?

  Noted, noted for the next time you come back. Noted for the next time you come back. And clip that. Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Comment Section Show. Thank you so much to my amazing guest, David Bory. For the maybe five people who don't know, where can everybody find you?

• 1:33:21Speaker 04

  Uh, CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram.

• 1:33:24Drew Afualo?

  Period.

• 1:33:25Speaker 04

  Great handle. I really thought the platform was gonna last.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  And then, yeah, you just, I have a podcast, My Mama Told Me, that I do with Langs and Kerman. And I have a podcast, All Fantasy Everything, with Ian Carmel and Sean Jordan. You can check those out. And then, you know, just come see me at your local chuckle hut.

• 1:33:42Drew Afualo?

  Yes, you have to. Chuckles University.

• 1:33:44Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:33:44Drew Afualo?

  You're the headmaster.

• 1:33:45Speaker 04

  I'm, yeah. Head boy.

• 1:33:50Drew Afualo?

  And I'm just Donkey Kong there. That's it. I'm the mascot.

• 1:33:55Speaker 04

  Chuckle you, Donkey Kong.

• 1:33:56Drew Afualo?

  Yes, they chuckle you, the Donkey Kongs. You remember?

• 1:34:00Drew Afualo?

  Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode of The Comment Section Show. Don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms. But the video list is free and exclusively on our favorite platform, YouTube. Thank you so much to my amazing guest, David Bory. Thank you so much to all of you. Happy Halloween, and I'll see you next week. Bye.