Alec Baldwin DEMANDS His Bag Back w/ Ryan Long | Your Mom's House Ep. 867

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: Visit https://www.sleep. ME/YMH and never fight with your partner at bedtime again. Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com/mom Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh What's up there, chomos! Tom's out. Christina P is holding down the Mommy Dome with Ryan Long, Canadian sketch comedian, content creator, and a man who recently received a cease and desist from a testosterone clinic over a joke photo. Ryan opens talking acting and shares one of his sketch videos, Doyle the OnlyFans pimp who thought he'd be living the life and spends 90% of his day rating strangers' dicks. They also open the show with Alec Baldwin fully losing his mind at over a missing bag in a video that feels like a parody. From there: Ontario passed a law allowing all women to go topless in public, the tits you actually see at the nude beach are not the ones you pictured, and Austin has a shirtless jogging epidemic with zero enforcement of chest hair standards. Plus, a cool gal accepting boyfriend applications on TikTok and Christina and Ryan do their civic duty to find her a man. They also review Cowboys for Angels, a straight male gigolo site that Ryan correctly points out uses completely gender-neutral language. Then a Tulum trip story ends with Christina inserting off-brand suppositories into her hotel mini fridge so they'd stop melting before she could use them, and the cleaning staff tidied the wrappers and put them in a glass jar. She would like you to know they were unused. Finally, Christina's TikTok Curations: a weather reporter who unexpectedly quotes Edgar Allan Poe, a body percussionist who is simply not ready, a man posting his phone number who specifically says not to ask for money, a woman who attempts parkour and lands on her face then immediately says "I'm fine," and a leg hair identity video. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 867 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:37 - Opening Clip: Alec Baldwin 00:14:53 - OnlyFans Sketch 00:17:36 - Canadian White Trash 00:28:57 - Lets Help Jenny 00:39:31 - Love for Hire 00:44:21 - Swingers Resorts 00:54:30 - Hairy Canadian Woman 00:59:32 - Christina's Curations 01:11:53 - Closing Song - "How You Say Cucumber" by Micah Akervold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  OMG, I'm so excited. I finally have this person in studio. I have been obsessed with you for so fucking long. Please put your hands together for Ryan Long. He's finally fucking here.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  What a dream to be in the, why, the, Young, Your Mom's House, Young Mom's House? No, I'm just kidding. This is, you guys have the best operation going known to man. I'm used to walking into my, we have a floor that's just like full of zins and dead bodies. This is, everyone here is probably good at their job.

• 0:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Well, I was telling you before we rolled is like Tom and I started podcasting, what, 15, 17 years ago when it was just like, we had a, a little soundboard and then two microphones like this, like the fart mic.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then over time, you're like, oh, that's not good enough.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Half the time you forget to record.

• 0:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, that too, yeah. So you just evolve over the years and here we are. Anyway, I'm so fucking pumped that you're here because if you don't know who Ryan Long is, go to Instagram and watch his sketches. Because I fucking fell in love with you when, like during COVID, when I think America's asshole was the tightest it could possibly be.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then you were like, let's make fun of everybody, like non-binaries, check. Like everything and anything, check. And I love that about you. Like you're fearless.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  I always kind of, uh, think that people, sometimes people will say that, be like, you're so fearless. And a part of me, I didn't even realize that it was crazy. Kind of, I always, we used to live in like a house where it was, you know, girls would come and be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, in my mind, I was like, I thought you thought this was sick. You know, I didn't even realize.

• 1:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like how fucking dumb you are, retarded.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Some of the, some of the stuff I've done that was, and when I look back to when I was like 20, 25, we used to do the crazy stuff where now I'm like a little less, but at the time, my mindset wasn't like, here we go. My mindset was like businesses, you, yeah, I don't know. I didn't think it was crazy.

• 2:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I think that's the secret to all of this is just. You're just reporting what's in your head.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  People are like, how do you guys talk about crazies or people farting? Or I'm like, that's just what we loved. This is what we talked about at dinner and now it's the show.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  If you think about just in general, the job of like you go, yeah, I go around to strangers and I talk about sex on a stage to people I've never met. People go, what? And you go, yeah, you're in such a bubble that in your mind, this is very, what do you mean? You don't do that?

• 2:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. I love how you make fun of women. I think it's my favorite because people are so afraid of touching even. Like especially in the, you know, the me too era, which was, you know, a good thing, but. Um, people are so afraid of calling out stupidity in any place. And I'm just glad that you do. I'll play, we'll play some of this shit later.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Wouldn't you say that that was, um, if you think about like how people are with their friends?

• 3:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  That's probably what to some degree it should be. You go, if you're, if you're with a chick or you're with your friends, you're like this, how maybe people make fun of you. And then you go, well, once you enter a thing, you kind of change that and you go, I think the less you can change that, the better.

• 3:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. The less you can, is you okay? Can you hear things? Yeah.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  I was doing an act out.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  This is, this is, this is my thinking act out of me entering the real world and not making any changes whatsoever.

• 3:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Think about it.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  You go, this is me talking to someone's grandmother, the way that I would my friend loud at a bar.

• 3:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  There you go.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  People say this is not okay.

• 3:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's been my struggle my whole life is that I don't really switch up who I am.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  No filter.

• 3:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, depending on where.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  You have like a bit of a rock and roll energy, right?

• 3:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know if that's good because I, I, you know, I'll say fuck during like school meetings with the teachers and stuff. And I'm like, well, that's just what it is.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  I, I think I mentioned this to you, but I was just, the reason I'm here is doing like an acting thing and I haven't done that in years.

• 4:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  And you do, you forget, there was a bunch of comics there and you forget how different it is. People were kind of looking at everyone being like, dude, you can't.

• 4:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's wrong with you?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, Chloe was there and I kept saying to the, the makeup people like, did you guys bring the ugly remover? Like stupid, stupid stuff. And then at one point they were like, hey, you guys might want to watch out. And as an actor, you just get, you just get treated like a baby.

• 4:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I don't like that.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  But.

• 4:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  It feels terrible.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  After a week of that, I think you start being like, yeah, I'm like.

• 4:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Amazing.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  I'm a king.

• 4:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so we're gonna get into that because I've got a fucking, should I open on that now?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 4:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's kind of a longer opener. You're gonna shit your panties.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah.

• 4:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Or maybe not. This is so our word. Okay, I'm just gonna.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  The actual footage of Terry Crews whacking it?

• 4:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  No. This is speaking of Diva and speaking of being an important actor, just tell me, is this where you're at? Like in your level of entitlement? Hold on.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Hey, it's Alec Baldwin here.

• 5:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  We know.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  With a message to my friends at Iberia Airlines. I flew from Madrid to New York on Wednesday. I arrived at JFK and they didn't have my bag. They said my bag would be at my house by 6:30.

• 5:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  6:30 came and left. No bag Wednesday night, Thursday, Thursday night, Friday, Friday night. Now with Saturday night, I still don't have my bag. I want to ask the people from Iberia Airlines. I was told by their online people that the bag is at JFK. Where's my bag? I need my bag.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  I want my bag, my luggage. I need that piece of luggage that was on the flight Wednesday from Madrid to JFK.

• 5:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  We got it, like.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Does anybody from Iberia know where my bag is?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  You don't want to see me without my dildos.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Bueller, bueller.

• 5:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wouldn't that video have had a.

• 6:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Kind of low, the intro song.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Banger.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Where's my bag?

• 6:55Speaker 01

  He should have had a shotgun in the video.

• 6:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. Like Heart of Darkness, like full.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  I'm not saying something's gonna happen, but I'm gonna say it's in your best interest to find that bag.

• 7:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, what's the movie Heart of Darkness is based on? The fucking, he's in the Congo and he's sweating in the sweat lodge. Fat Marlon Brando. Come on, apocalypse now. I mean, he's talking like, this is an imperative. If I don't get this, I will explode. Like you're, it fucking happens. Yeah, there is, there's Alec Baldwin in the fucking Congo.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  His assistant's crying right now. I hope you know that. Like his assistant is off screen with a black eye crying. Holding the camera. Maybe you should make a video, Mr. Baldwin.

• 7:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, it's like, it happens. You and I travel for a living. I've had bags lost on direct flights from Atlanta to Los Angeles. It just happens.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  And it is, he is bullying you in a situation where you have to defend the airlines, which is not my favorite thing to do.

• 7:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, they suck, of course.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'm, this is two bad people, but Baldwin, this is the thing, if he was on set right now and he was like, you know, I'm missing something. This is like a five alarm fire. They're gonna have an 80 person search party. They have a person on every plane right now crawling, crawling down the plane just to make sure it could be there.

• 8:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  It is, I don't think people really understand. You're right, right. I think we should explain to people what it's like on a set. Like they baby you like you're fully incompetent. Like it'll, I've watched like Tom filming Bad Thoughts. Like I did one sketch, I do a sketch every season and I'm like, Tom will be like, um, does anyone have my energy, energy drink? Where's Tom's energy drink? Where's Tom's energy? And it's like, he's okay. He's not demanding or anything.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Someone has to pay.

• 8:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like it's the, the talent will survive.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  I know. They come up to you, they go, are you, are you okay? Okay, we're just gonna do one more take and we're gonna get you a little break. Okay? You're like, I'm fine. In 10 minutes.

• 8:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like it. Well, I know because as a standup comic, you know, you find that no matter what level you get at, like you could be doing a theater, you could be doing the club and you're still entering through the dumpsters.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe grab an apple, half eaten apple on the way.

• 9:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Just in case.

• 9:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're always a scumbag in standup and I like that so much. Like I, I don't think I could even handle the

• 9:24Speaker 01

  You could be a pretty famous person coming to a comedy club and the servers are looking at you like, imagine being that.

• 9:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  So good. But it's so necessary. Otherwise you become like this and you're like, I'm Alec Baldwin demanding my back.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, you forget. And then you're at home being like, excuse me, where's my bib? Hello? There's no straw in my juice box. Is this, can I, who can I fire? You're by yourself? Who can I fire?

• 9:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  What he thinks in the back, that's the thing is he's very fired up.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Right. I know. I think it might be like a Alec Baldwin laptop situation.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  I think it's more videos like this. It's him doing videos at other people who've wronged him. He just, he just says like, cause you know, people say write it down and then you can forget about it, right?

• 10:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  So he's like, you bumped me today. That's gonna be the last bumping that you have. And then he puts that video on a hard drive and then, you know, he collects them.

• 10:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  He saves them all. God, that doesn't work for me because I've been writing the same awful things since I was 15. I've got

• 10:29Speaker 01

  One guy?

• 10:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Stacks of journals of like the same people. It's just my parents. I just fucking hate my mom, my dad. That doesn't seem to go away. If you're the kind of person who constantly flipping your pillow to the cool side, but still can't get comfortable, I'm talking to you. What you need to know is that great sleep is all about temperature and cooler Nights lead to better days. That's where Chili Pad by Sleep Me comes in. One of the most crucial contributors to how much deep sleep you're getting is temperature. And deep sleep really matters because that's where your body actually recovers, repairs, and resets for the next day. With the Chili Pad 2.0 by Sleep Me, their most advanced bed cooling system yet, you

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• 13:17Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 13:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Writing it down doesn't help as much as you think it would.

• 13:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, it just keeps rehashing my hatred.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen, they have for, um, for women, there's like dude versions, I think, but there's a woman one where they have like sites that you can go shopping on, but it's fake. So you go shopping, you order stuff and then it comes and then, but then nothing ever comes. So it's.

• 14:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  What? Is this real?

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, they have an Uber Eats one. They have a, yeah, you could probably find that. There was a big, there was a, it was kind of a bunch of articles on this recently. So I think you might be able to find it. Fake shopping app. And then, you know, you browse, you go, oh, buy that, buy that. And then you put it in the cart and you press enter and nothing happens. And they have one for Uber Eats too.

• 14:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so evil. And they take your money?

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. They don't take your money. I think you pay a subscription fee so you can have this fake shopping app.

• 14:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's so funny.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, the guy version would be like a fake gambling app or like crypto, like.

• 14:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  porno.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, yeah, you go, you didn't even realize that was a fake dick. You were checking off. You go, what?

• 14:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Was that your sketch? Oh my God. You have this great sketch where you play like the scumbag that has to work the OnlyFans account.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Will you find that? It's like, it's on his Instagram. It's so funny.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  So a lot of these guys who are essentially pimps, you know, like you, all the rappers used to rap about pimpin', but now all these pimps, essentially what they do is respond to women's OnlyFans. So the guy's like, yeah, I'm a pimp, but. Most of his day is just like, I wanna suck your dick. Doing dick ratings, they rate the dicks.

• 15:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I, like, I don't, uh, I'm not on the OnlyFans, so I was like, oh my god, he's right, like, it's probably just some dude. Wait, can we play this?

• 15:25Speaker 01

  It's a guy in India.

• 15:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can we play this on the show?

• 15:27Speaker 03

  My name's Doyle, and I'm the guy who responds to your OnlyFans messages. Tell me what you wanna do to me.

• 15:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doyle.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Straight pimping.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  I love that. Yeah, when I decided to be a pimp on OnlyFans, I didn't realize that 90% of my job was gonna be messaging dudes things that I wanna do to them. I'm grabbing my breath thinking of your hard [BLEEP], that's a go-to for me. Busy day today, there's a stack of dick ratings that I gotta get to. I'm touching both my boobs. Would you want to touch my boobs? Cindy, I'm gonna need those custom feet pics by 4pm, they're getting hungry. I mean, these guys are losers, they're sexting with a guy all day. Well, okay, I mean, it's different if you're doing it for pimping purposes.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  He's an entrepreneur.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Believe me when I tell you, he is a freak. Okay, I gotta take a little bit of a break.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Okay, break time's over. Here's my big boy. I print them out to make it more organized, so this is just a folder full of dongs. I did wanna focus originally on just kinda the pimping part, but a lot of those girls are messes, so they can't really be trusted to respond.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Do you know what's funny? When I, when I, when I did that video, a lot of OnlyFans chicks found it funny, right?

• 16:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  And they were like tagging the guy like, that's you.

• 16:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, cuz you gave them all names like Brittany, Ashley, or whatever fucking, but Doyle, Doyle is such a piece of shit name.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  I love a good, you love a good piece of shit name.

• 16:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, only, uh-

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Spencer.

• 16:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Spencer's a [BLEEP], Doyle's a piece of trash, but Doyle is like Florida trash, or is that Canadian trash? Cuz you are Canadian.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  No, Doyle, I, no, you're right, Doyle is trailer park shit, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he derp bikes. He knows the tracks, could've went pro, actually, not that there's any money in going pro, but if he got the Monster sponsorship, he'd be doing okay.

• 17:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, so you're from Toronto. I grew up.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Six.

• 17:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes. Woo woo. I'm born in Windsor on terrible, but I moved to the US when I was like four. So I don't really remember it.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, but your parents lived there for long enough that they probably put some of that in you.

• 17:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I'm garbage. Like inside, I'm still fucking trash. But uh, so what's like Toronto trash? Like, is it like Trailer Park Boys?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Toronto trash is a little more hood. You know, like Toronto trash is more city trash, right? So this is more, you know, projects, a little methy, right? The trash is small town, like fucking, you know, hockey players like.

• 17:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do the voice of fucking.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Fucking body just drank a frigging 12 pack, eh? Me and the boys are just gonna play some puck down there, eh? You're, yeah, we all banged each other's wives, but we went to high school together. So what are you gonna fucking do, eh? She's a bit of a puck pony, but I fucking wife it down, whatever.

• 18:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that shit, dude.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  There's, and then the Toronto, that's the small town can accent. The Toronto accent is, yo, for real, no, actually, no. Oh my God, have you seen Toronto accent videos?

• 18:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  I feel like this is so up your alley.

• 18:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see it.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  So they have this like kind of gangster accent they invented, like it's sort of Drake talks like that a bit, but people go viral and they go, yo, for you know, obviously, like yo, I'm not even messing around, yo, if you want two twos, if you want, yeah, yeah.

• 18:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a horrible accent.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  It is the grossest accent.

• 18:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's terrible.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  The American gangster accent is sort of the rappers kind of go on and they act like they're like actually mentally retarded.

• 18:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Like you ask a question, he's like, yo, I don't even, oh, maybe, oh, what day is it? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? The Toronto one is, yo, honestly?

• 19:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's horrible.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  It is the.

• 19:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's really terrible.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. And people, people have made that joke, but like having, there's women with that accent, like imagine like having sex with a girl and she looked back, she's like, yo, harder, you know, actually fam, yo, why do you? Yo, why you coming so quick though? Actually for real.

• 19:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  This garbage, so awful.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  I used to think about, uh, yeah, having sex with the small town girls, they say frig during sex.

• 19:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh no.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Well, frig.

• 19:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  So gross. You know what I saw the last time I was in Toronto is, um, there is a big fat lady walking around, um, with no shirt on and no bra.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 19:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, and her tits were fully swinging and she was just, she wore like a handbag, but then her tits were so big that they were doing this.

• 19:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then I was, I was like talking to the driver. I was like, dude, what the fuck? This woman's just got her tits out and nobody's like doing anything. And he's like, yeah, it's an indigenous people's law. Like they petitioned to be able to walk around with their tits out. Have you seen that?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  That, wait, the indigenous people.

• 20:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, okay, Google the fuck.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  That is funny because they're better at getting laws passed. So maybe, do you know what I mean?

• 20:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  They really work that shit.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  So maybe every dude was kind of like, can we get some tits out? And then it took a native guy to come and be like, no, for real though, this is going to be a problem. If you don't let them out, we need the puppies.

• 20:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Under Toronto law, it's completely legal for all women to go topless in public spaces, including in Toronto.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  I actually had a funny idea.

• 20:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Under Ontario, so this is my province too. To everyone, regardless of heritage, race, or gender, you've got to do a sketch about this.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Well, to me, the funny part about this would be when they're doing the, um, when they're doing the, the final bill, like the one guy who was against it and everyone's mad at him.

• 20:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, what are you doing to each other?

• 20:59Speaker 01

  I just think it's like, are you gay? What are we doing here? Like the one guy, it's like, I just don't think it's decent. They're like, well, buddy, like it's not the time.

• 21:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's tits, bro. But that is true. Like at the same time, you don't want to be walking through the park with your kids and see some lady with big old flapjacks.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Especially the ones you described where it's doing the.

• 21:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  What's the thing called?

• 21:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  The balls.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, the inertia, it keeps going forever.

• 21:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, cuz then you have to, you know, I got two little boys and they're they're coming around the age where it's uncomfortable to see me like, you know, sitting down to pee or I don't shower in front of them or anything. Like, I don't want to fucking explain big, big donkey tits to my sons. But whatever, dude. Anyway, it's pretty exciting if you want to see some tits in Toronto.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  I have seen a few of it, but I mean, it's one of it's the thing that it's kind of like when you think of swinger parties and you're just like, it's not who you want to see naked at these parties. Like, have you ever been a hotel lobby where they're like, yeah, we do the swinger convention? You're like, I thought this was a meth convention. But that's the tits. When you go to the beach in the, you know, Toronto bluffs and you're you're just like, well, it's tit time.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  The three sets you're gonna see, you're not gonna be

• 22:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're not good.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Not who you want to write home about.

• 22:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  And that's the thing is that they need to make a second law, which is like, you can go topless, but they better be good.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta be in shape. You have to get your certificate.

• 22:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  So, yes, they need to create an entire office.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  A government.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  And then they find out it was just like, they everyone's got their certificates. The government's like, we don't have. Well, then whose garage was that?

• 22:42Speaker 01

  What? What did I just drop 200 bucks in that garage?

• 22:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's amazing. Yeah, you have to carry a license to show your tits in public.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that's more than, and by the way, they're pretty liberal with it, but there's a point where you're like, come on, come back and you gotta meet us halfway.

• 22:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because, like, here in Austin, there is an epidemic of men who jog shirtless. They only jog shirtless here. And in the beginning, I was very taken aback by that cuz it is unhygienic. I mean, I'm sitting on a park bench and you're jogging past me.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Sweat dripping.

• 23:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, bro. And like, and then like, some of them are not hot enough to be doing that. So then I do feel like there should be some standards too. Like, should I petition to start a law about that?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  That is fair. And in process, if I was gonna add to it, if you're if you really want to drop, if you want to go shirtless.

• 23:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Shave the chest, I think.

• 23:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Because the hair is a problem. Because if you're talking about sweat drips, that's, you know, less, I think that without the hair, you're gonna get less sweat drips.

• 23:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  So true. I didn't even think about that. It should be mandatory.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  If if you want to, it's balls in your court. You don't, no one's forcing you to run topless. Yeah.

• 23:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nobody is.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  But

• 23:51Speaker 01

  If you want to, there's a couple of rules, yeah. There's a naked bike ride. I think there might be everywhere, but there's.

• 23:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Portland, I've seen that.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was one.

• 24:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Disgusting.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Real gross and real old. Unexpectedly old. There's something when seventy year old dudes hit seventy, they're just like.

• 24:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't give a shit.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Let it fly.

• 24:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, cuz I've gone to nude beaches in like San Francisco or in Europe somewhere and you get pretty stoked at the idea. And then you go there and you're like, no, these aren't the people I wanted to see naked. It's never.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  I think it's worse for a dude cuz you're like, I'm gonna go to the nude beach and you find out it's actually the gay nude beach.

• 24:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's always the case. Dude, they turned Barton Creek into the gay nude beach, right? Don't they, don't they just fuck?

• 24:36Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  You know.

• 24:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know, Josh, you're homosexual.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Must've missed that one.

• 24:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Isn't there, there's like a, like Barton Creek is like families and stuff and then there's just like, I think a gay part of it.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  There's Hippie Hollow.

• 24:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's it, that's it. That's what I'm, and they, what do they do there?

• 24:53Speaker 04

  Um, it's like a nude beach situation.

• 24:56Tom Segura?

  It's more of an anything goes sort of situation there.

• 24:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anything goes.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  And then one fam- like kinda progressive family where the, you know, the mom's kind of like, this is natural kinda, you know?

• 25:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck off. Fuck off.

• 25:08Tom Segura?

  I feel like you're thinking that because the first time we went here in like twenty twenty one, we went to Red Ash. Remember our waiter was like gay as shit?

• 25:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 25:17Tom Segura?

  What do you do around here? And he's like, oh yeah, you gotta go down to the, to Barton Creek and swim down the river. You're like, oh wow, that's okay. So gay people go to Barton Creek.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  It's a wild recommendation.

• 25:27Tom Segura?

  I feel like you just locked that into your brain.

• 25:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  You remembered that any? That was so long. I remember that. Now I remember, I never remember waiter conversations, but we were all like, why is this guy recommending like hella gay shit to us? None of us are gay, like, what?

• 25:43Speaker 01

  We're asking you about restaurants. You're like, you can take your dick out of the beer.

• 25:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Tom Segura?

  Glory hole at Barton Creek, I think.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Anywhere with a good margarita.

• 25:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like, we don't, we don't want that, sir. What part of like, it was like you, is it Annie and me and who else?

• 25:58Tom Segura?

  Uh, I think, I think Nadja?

• 26:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like, we're, we were not putting out gay vibes.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  But that is, you know, that is the purest form of what the world looks like if you take women out of the equation.

• 26:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. For fucking sure.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  A beach full of dudes helicoptering their dicks.

• 26:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck.

• 26:20Tom Segura?

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• 27:05Tom Segura?

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• 27:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that is scary. Hold on though.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, the bike rides gross.

• 27:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've got some really important.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Things to play for you.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  News is happening.

• 27:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, first, let's hope, let's everybody pray for Alec Baldwin and that he finds his back. Okay, guys?

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Getting bitched around by his young wife?

• 27:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, oh my god.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Where's my bag?

• 27:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  We've been talking about her for so long.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Well, he's taking it out on the stewardess now, so.

• 27:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, here, Jennifer. I'd like to talk about this. I don't know. This poor guy.

• 27:51Tom Segura?

  Jennifer Aniston, since we've been telepathically communicating and you love me so much, how about you go ahead and make this official on your Instagram? How about you go ahead and make an appearance and make this official with me?

• 28:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. I mean, what are you?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  She's teasing him.

• 28:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. Right?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  You're getting in his head, being like, me and you should be together. And then she was like, remember you said that? He goes, I didn't say that.

• 28:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  What a fucking bitch, dude. Yeah. What a bitch.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  That is, you are 100% using your acting powers to tease your average, normal man.

• 28:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I agree. Well, here's another part.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  So you know this guy? This is not?

• 28:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  We've been following him. He's been, he's a little upset because Jennifer won't.

• 28:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Answer him, right? Like, he keeps putting calls out.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Are people following the journey?

• 28:38Speaker 04

  For some reason, she's not engaging.

• 28:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know why. He seems lovely.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  It is scarier when it's a dude, because you'll see like a woman being like, me and Leonardo DiCaprio are together.

• 28:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so true.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  This is much scarier. This is like actually a potentially a problem.

• 28:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  So fucking true. Oh, hold on. That's a good one. Let's help. Speaking of that, there is somebody we need to fucking help. So, as you know, I love the talk, and I came across this woman, Jennifer, right? Wait, what's her name? Jenny.

• 29:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see if YMH, you guys, I know you're out there. You guys are so helpful. If we can be of service to Jenny.

• 29:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hi, my name is Jenny, and I'm accepting applications for a role of a boyfriend who can handle me.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  So check out the highlights.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  That's gonna work.

• 29:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course it's gonna work.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Her inbox is flooded.

• 29:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, let's go into what is hard. And I'm, and I'm, again, here's the thing, like, not that I don't believe her, but I look at her and I'm like, you don't seem that hard to handle, Jenny. Like, you seem pretty docile. Like, she's just laying on her bed.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  She likes to be picked up. That's the hard to handle part.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  That's the only way I can have sex is against a wall. Bit hard to handle.

• 29:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Listen, Jenny is on the husky side, yes. But, but Ryan, we're gonna help find her love. Let's see.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, good idea.

• 30:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  If we can find somebody that can handle Jenny. Oh, no, what happened to our network?

• 30:10Tom Segura?

  Jenny Nichols. I cook, I do laundry, and once that bedroom door closes, I will ruin you for life for any other woman. Any questions? Hi, my name is Jenny Nichols.

• 30:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  So, so that's what she's talking about, right?

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Once that bedroom door closes, and obviously, the pantry's gotta be closed and locked up too, in which case, that's when we start.

• 30:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's that fucking sketch I saw? Like, it's a men's support group for fat wives.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, wives who are getting fat, yeah. But they're big. This is, the one guy showed up with a 170 pounder and everyone are like, come on, that's barely thick. I'd kill for a buck 70.

• 30:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love it. I love when people make fun of women. I love it. I like when people make fun of white women, especially.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Well, the men is more communities. You know, like, if you look online, there is, right now, you're pretty tapped into, you know, the weird sectors of the internet where the guys are putting saline in their balls to make them bigger and that kind of stuff.

• 31:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that shit.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Right. That's, it's a little more extreme what's going on, on the, on the male side of the corners of the internet.

• 31:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, yeah, it's only about sex and my dick and can I staple my dick and can I pull my dick apart and can someone touch my dick? It's just, it's so horny.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  You might be right.

• 31:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Horny. It's just horny. It's like overt, but, and, and very rarely do we come across a cool girl like Jenny. It's usually cool guys. Can we see something else?

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let us. I have all this pent up energy. Oh.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Who's in the comments?

• 31:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  I need a man with enough stamina to handle it all.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  She goes hard.

• 31:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hopefully there's one out there that can handle all this pent up energy. See. If there is, look me up. And I think she's wearing athletic wear, which is a little misleading. Like, let's.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  I bet you someone's gonna have the time of their life.

• 32:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, look, I am here, my love. Be love one B. Is he black? Black guys love this shit. No offense, Annie. Yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Be love.

• 32:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause I got a lot of Nigerians in my DMs. Let's just say that.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Really?

• 32:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  They love old white blonde lady like me.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  That's interesting.

• 32:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Any black guy, I could definitely, they're, they're, they're down.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  That is interesting.

• 32:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Black dudes are down.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  That's, that's the specific most you get. Do you get Indian guys?

• 32:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sometimes, yeah, but yeah, sometimes. And I get, uh, yeah, mostly black dudes. I get a lot of, uh, younger dudes, like 20 somethings are really, I don't know if it's the mom thing, like maybe they want me to be their mom, but they're always like so hot, so old. Someone today was like, you're so hot and so old. I was like, thank you.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  That's, that's, that is the, uh, the big ones hurt too much of female compliments.

• 33:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, so she's super horny. Let's see, does she get specific?

• 33:12Speaker 06

  My doctor looked at me and said, asked me if I was sexually active. And I said, I was optimistic. And she looked at me with a long stare. My doctor looked at me and said, asked me.

• 33:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 33:26Speaker 06

  I googled up on how to get a boyfriend. Instead, I got a how to get a therapist. So instead I'm posting this, how to get a boyfriend. I googled up.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  That is horny. That's what I'm looking for.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Sick.

• 33:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is very rare for women to get this horny publicly.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  You know, this is.

• 33:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  You don't see this very often.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  You know, you don't from a normal person and you are doing her a huge service right now because this publicity is probably going to lead to at least a couple dicks rolling in.

• 33:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure, dude, we're going to find her the love of her life today, Ryan.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're finding love. Okay. So her handle is Jenny Nickel Hee Hee, H E H E. Um, on Instagram, if there's any young man out there, if you find yourself drawn to Jenny, hit her up.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Where does she live?

• 34:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see, Iowa, Centerville, Iowa.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Jeep plane ticket, probably?

• 34:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Look at those hangers. She's got big naturals. If you guys are into big naturals. I mean, here's the thing, Ryan. Maybe I'm very old school. Maybe this isn't very feminist of me, but I'm like, if you're going to put an application for a boyfriend, like put some makeup on.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, don't you think you should like brush your hair?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  You know, there's, there's two sides to that coin because on the other side is also this will work.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 34:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, who am I fooling?

• 34:57Speaker 01

  You are, right? That might help a bit, but at the same time, there is a demo where she is putting out like, this is gonna be the easiest smash of your life. Which might not be true, but you know what I mean? If she put makeup on, the guy's like, now I gotta take her to dinner.

• 35:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I see what you're saying. This is just easier.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  She's like, this is the lowest maintenance bone you're gonna ever have. I barely get out of bed. I don't even, I'm not gonna answer the door. You're gonna come in. This is gonna be like gay sex from Grindr type of shit. But if she has makeup on and she doesn't, you know?

• 35:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Then it's too much for the guy. God, that's so crazy.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  For the dude that's flying from Iowa on a whim.

• 35:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, go back to that last picture that you clicked on, and I wanna see, there was a long comment. If you want honesty, I'll give you honesty. First step, go to the hair salon. Get your hair treated, cut whatever you want. Ask what shampoo and conditioner will be best for your hair and buy a little. I mean, he's just stuck on her hair.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Is that a guy? I feel like that's a woman. That's woman on woman violence right there.

• 35:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see it. See who the fuck's telling her what's up. Yeah, it's a no, it's a nobody.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  That's a dude with a chick avatar.

• 36:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ew.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  She started, you started a fake Instagram account to give advice?

• 36:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ew, I mean.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  So let's see your hair then, you know?

• 36:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. But then again, I just said the same thing. I was like, can you like, maybe you should clean it up a little bit, but.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  I bet you there's a lot of guys that sent a message being like, nah, your hair's fine.

• 36:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  What time?

• 36:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's great. You're perfect. You're an angel. There she is. So guys, you know what to do. Hit up Jenny.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  It's funny that journey only started two weeks ago too. What prompted it's the question, you know? Like who's?

• 36:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who, who got her so riled up that it was time to take to the streets? I don't know.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Cause she hasn't been about this life. This is recent.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Like this is her walking out of a trailer park being like, you're gonna be sorry.

• 36:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you think the? You're gonna be sorry. Wait, what do you think preceded this? What do you?

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Has to be a breakup, like.

• 37:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Breakup.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Dude that was banging her.

• 37:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  And then she left in a fit of rage, like, you're not even, you know, your dick's small. You can't even please me. Obviously came back, grabbed the Oreos and then, but I am actually leaving. I just forgot those.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  And then he has to watch this.

• 37:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, do you think he is? Do you really think he cares? I always wonder that. Like, the thing is, when you're getting back at somebody, you're not really getting... Like, I don't think... Does that work? I don't know.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Not necessarily that it would hurt your feelings, but your friends' group chats are lighting up.

• 37:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  And that's the only reason to do it, I guess.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you're like embarrassed.

• 37:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's so cool. Okay.

• 37:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I didn't see the logic. Like, do you really think he's gonna be... Like, he doesn't care, but his friends will care.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  Do you know how many times he has to say, "I know..." Yeah, listen, "I broke up with her first." Like, that's...

• 37:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jenny's fucking crazy. You guys know that. Yeah. Yeah, there you go.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  I wonder if she has a kid?

• 38:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ugh, for sure.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  She has to!

• 38:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  At least five.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  Right? She has to.

• 38:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I'll tell you, you don't get milkers like that without kids, usually. Because mine were like that before I had the mastectomy and the rebuilds and all that. It just happens. Anyway, you're from Canada.

• 38:21Speaker 01

  There's like, I mean, probably her next step would be after she gets the... You know, a lot of people follow her from this.

• 38:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  I mean, there's money to be made in being a feeder, right?

• 38:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah. Or a milker. Like, can you breastfeed, dude? Can I tell you something? I have this recurring nightmare that I have no money, and I don't have any way to make a living, and it's like 1999 again, and then I always... Yeah, like, I have this recurring fantasy that I didn't make any money and I'm poor again. And then I always remember that I'm a woman, and like, I can just put my feet on the internet.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  There's always... When there's a will, there's a way. A guy named Will, there's a way.

• 39:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's always a pervert, like, willing to do stuff.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Well, as a dude, that option does somewhat exist if you're willing to be gay. Because it's still back to a dude, yeah.

• 39:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Only gay. Yeah, that's true. Because do women... I don't... I'd be curious to know, like, how many women actually pay for sex? It's gotta be minimal, no?

• 39:26Speaker 01

  It's minimal? If you're, if you're a guy banging for money, the majority of that is dudes.

• 39:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Well, did you ever watch that show Jigalos on HBO?

• 39:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so the premise was that it was called Cowboys for Angels, and that they were straight men having sex with straight women. And I'm like, there's no-

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Written by a gigolo. There's actually, we're just crushing tail, like.

• 39:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's no way.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  That's propaganda.

• 39:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, propaganda.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  That is 100% gigolo propaganda.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  So women are just like, oh, it's actually pretty normal.

• 39:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Cause I don't see, have you ever heard of a woman?

• 40:03Speaker 01

  This guy just came straight to your house from bumming three dudes. That's what actually happened. Funny to say it like that?

• 40:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bumming. Grinding dicks.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's propaganda if I've ever heard it.

• 40:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Meet the cowboys. Yeah, so click on their profile.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  I'm not saying never.

• 40:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, I'm not saying never. But like, these guys are banging straight women? Okay, click on one. Like, okay. Quinn was born and raised in England. In the true James Bond of, I can't read it, cause my eyes are-

• 40:36Speaker 01

  James Bond, that's what he did. Went to a seedy motel to blow a dude.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  For 80 bucks.

• 40:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Quinn's traveled all over the world, living life to the fullest and doing what he loves. You will not find a better companion. His exceptionally charming personality exceeds any other. Prides himself on being a great listener, no conversations. Now settled in Vegas, Quinn's always dressed to impress. He will certainly put a smile on your face and make- See, notice how the, the language is not gendered? It's not like, ladies, you're gonna love this gentleman. He's a man that's gonna fuck you. It, it's totally ambiguous.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  What a great point.

• 41:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, thank you, Ryan.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  That is, exactly. If, if it's, if it's to ladies wise-

• 41:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. The language is-

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Huge notice, yeah.

• 41:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, gender neutral. I mean, I'm, who am I banging? Um, I don't like any of these guys, hold on. Like, as a straight woman- No, I feel like that's an effeminate-

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Alpha male?

• 41:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Effeminate alpha male. Like, I like a normal guy.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Here's a question, do you think that guy was cheating by taking his shirt off? Like, whereas the other guys were like, we're allowed to-

• 41:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. How am I gonna sell that?

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, like, that dorky kinda guy with the denim jacket, I'd be like him, just because he looks...

• 41:52Speaker 01

  I was just thinking that. I bet you this guy does better, cuz all the other guys are in the same territory.

• 41:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Like, he's like the one tattooed girl at the strip club.

• 42:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah, he's the weirdo. And like, look at the guy next to him with those tight ass pants. Like, that is so gay, dude. I'm not...

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ray, I mean, no offense, Ray, but those pants were way too tight.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you're listening, Ray, you like what I'm doing.

• 42:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, he's heard by now. Someone's told him.

• 42:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Guitar? That's cheating. That's cheating.

• 42:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Chicks dig a guitar, don't they? I personally, it's my worst nightmare when a man picks... I had a boyfriend that would

• 42:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Play the acoustic guitar and sing to me, and it was the most uncomfortable... I can't do it.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Now, are we talking originals or classics?

• 42:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Originals. Oh my god, I'm sweating just thinking about it.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Was your name in any of them?

• 42:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course!

• 42:51Speaker 01

  That sucks.

• 42:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, and like, young guys think that that's the way.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, cuz they've been, they've read on a magazine, they read in a book, they saw it on television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shows that were written by a guy who also does that.

• 43:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Have you done that?

• 43:06Speaker 01

  No, it's like, it's the cliche bad thing to do.

• 43:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  But did you do that as a younger gentleman?

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Not, not in a, like, I wrote, not to be romantic, I've played guitar around a woman, but not like, "Hey, check this out," and not a, yeah.

• 43:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not hate.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  I said this, I go, "I've written something for you," I go, "It's another morning!"

• 43:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's the one I would take.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  I go,

• 43:33Speaker 01

  "The devil and the..." She goes, "Please stop."

• 43:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but that's the kinda music I would want, someone to sing to me.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  That is funny, though, serenading with that.

• 43:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not like the deep eye contact, meaningful lyrics.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  I make, girls watch me drum.

• 43:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  For an hour and a half.

• 43:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's horrible.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  I go, "Yeah, I've written something for you."

• 43:52Speaker 01

  And she goes, "How long?" I go, "Just getting started."

• 43:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  As a, I'm a bad drummer. I play drums too horribly. As a bad drummer, I don't think there's anything worse than other people listening to me drum.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  It's a nightmare.

• 44:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  I fucking, I pity any fool that has to listen to me banging on that shit.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  You literally lower the profit, lower the property value of a neighborhood by having a kid that drums in that neighborhood.

• 44:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm the worst. I'm the absolute fucking worst. Anyway, I went to Tulum. Have you been to Mexico?

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went to Tulum.

• 44:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you've been there too? How long ago?

• 44:29Speaker 01

  I've been a couple of times and don't really love it. Why? Do you like it?

• 44:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so I went like 20 years ago for the first time and I liked it then because it was kind of more feral and like Mexico, where you could just fucking shoot off fireworks on the beach and, you know, do whatever you want. I mean, now, dude, they wouldn't even let me rip darts on the beach. They're like, oh.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Corporate.

• 44:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like you want to smoke, you gotta go to fucking front of the lobby. I had to stand in the street like a hooker to smoke my cigarettes on my vacation.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Well, a guy drives by on an Uber taxi.

• 45:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I like those guys.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  On the bike, yeah.

• 45:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I love those guys. I love.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Hop on.

• 45:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. And like, so that was, so did you find it to be kind of?

• 45:09Speaker 01

  This is what I don't like about my, it's a bit of a Miami vibe where every, you think there's, you're like, oh, I'll go to these cool places. And what you're really at is everything's like attached to a hotel kind of thing.

• 45:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  And you're just.

• 45:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  It can be.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  So loud that your ears are gonna bleed and you just wait for a $40 drink on the beach. I found it to be like a club experience. Everywhere was a nightclub.

• 45:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where did you, because I didn't stay, I stayed.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  Wherever the promoter told me to go.

• 45:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you did like a gig?

• 45:40Speaker 01

  No, no, I was, I was there, but most of, like all the strips and everything was.

• 45:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  In my, in my opinion, it was like Miami to me.

• 45:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, because you must have stayed for, I stayed further out maybe and it was way quieter.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 45:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, it was.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  You were in the yoga retreat territory.

• 45:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like the old, the older white lady territory.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  The two sides of it. It was, yeah, in my opinion, clubbing or you have your legs behind your head.

• 46:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Yeah, that was not, I didn't have my. Like right in my head.

• 46:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, but um, but we passed by this place called um, Secrets. Can you look up Secrets? Cause I, I bet it's gotta be a swingers club, right? Secrets. Like, oh, it's huge.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Or a, or a gay club, I guess, right? Like, you'd think that's possible.

• 46:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  You keep like, Secrets. I just thought that was such a gay name for a place. Oh my God, it's got great reviews.

• 46:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, it's got four out, 4.2? You gotta click on this.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  They didn't keep my secret, one guy. Told everybody.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Contrary to the name, my wife was actually notified.

• 46:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, go down, I wanna like, is it a swingers place? Cause I feel like.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  I think it's just a Hyatt.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 47:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Secrets.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  You have your wedding at Secrets? She's like, I've got the perfect place. She's like, why are we doing it at Secrets?

• 47:14Speaker 01

  My actual wife might not love this, for starters.

• 47:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a really bad name for a place, though, is Secrets. If it's not a place that keeps your secrets?

• 47:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see what the one star reviews are.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see. Oh my God, Secrets. What a fucking gay name.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Secrets.

• 47:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's so gay. I was like, dude, someone's gotta tell them that they gotta change the name. Dude, it's so far good ratings.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  But you're right, if that's just a normal, like, normal hotel, what do you, what?

• 47:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, dude, there's butt fucking happening there. There's swinging, orgies, that's Secrets.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, you walk in, the guy's just blowing a guy at the counter.

• 47:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I've been to, I went to, so I did um, one Road Rules challenge in Jamaica. And they took us to a swingers club one night, like a swingers resort. I guess they wanted us all, like, they always wanted you to hook up on these stupid reality shows. And um, yeah, it was just people, there was like a dom and a submissive naked in the buffet. Naked, in the buffet.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Like on a leash situation?

• 48:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sitting naked, eating where the food is. And I'm like, this is fucking so gross. And then, like, yeah, people just fucking in the pools, fucking on the water slides.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  You're watching this?

• 48:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. I mean, I didn't, I was just like, that's crazy. Why am I here? Okay.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Taking the break is funny, though, that you watch the guy like just taking a breather in the corner with the cheese plate.

• 48:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, well, literally, the cheese plate, naked with pubes everywhere. Uh oh, beware. Unlimited vacation club at Secrets to Loom, potential scam tactics. I want to share my experience. Okay, what is this person complaining about, Josh? I don't want to read this all.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, a lot of people are saying money gets stolen from the rooms if you leave it in there.

• 48:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the secret. Guess what? Your passport just got fucking stolen, dude. You're not going back home. That's the secret.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  That's the secret. Our employees are criminals. Shh.

• 49:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't tell on us. Yeah, don't leave that Google review.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Every person here was fired for the hired for theft. Shh.

• 49:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Stupid.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  We don't test our food.

• 49:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God. Yeah, don't drink the tap water.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Those sheets we just gave you are actually used. We just switch them from the other room. Shh.

• 49:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  So it's just that stuff. Yeah, the desk is, the front desk is rude. Check-in process is the worst ever. It's always the worst ever. Like, checking in anywhere is annoying. I know, like, never find your reservation. How do you spell that? Da-da-da-da-da.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  I do find, and this might be a life hack, but every time I go to a place, they always, I, a lot of times I'll get there early, like, let's say I get there at 12 and they go, "Your check-in's at 4."

• 50:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, get fucked, yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  And then I go, "Oh, well, if," I go, I don't make a big stink, but I go, "You know, well, if you can find a room, I'm just gonna wait here." And I just sit there like...

• 50:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Staring at them?

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Right. And low and behold, 15, 20 minutes, they find me one.

• 50:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, that's so weird, yeah, when you just sit there staring.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 50:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  So you go, "Okay, well, I have my bags. I'm not, I don't have anything to do, but if you find something and you just..."

• 50:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, or lay down on their couch in the lobby.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Take a nap on the couch. They almost always find you a room if you just stay there.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  It's kind of a life hack.

• 50:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Mmm, anyway. Yeah, that one, that's a classic one.

• 50:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anyway, so part of like why I like Mexico is that I kind of plan for diarrhea because

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 50:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  you know you're gonna go by day three, you've eaten enough salsa and guacamole, you're gonna shit, and then you're gonna bring home that nice tapeworm or whatever it is, and then you've got two weeks of shitting, and then you're gonna lose even more weight.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  But dude, the opposite happened to me. I got fucking constipated in Mexico. It was horrible.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  A reverse Mexican.

• 51:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, how did that happen?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so upsetting. And I, I bought their suppositories there. Wait, look up Mexican suppositories. I shoved so many of these up my ass and they didn't do anything. I was shoving.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Off brand?

• 51:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  And, and, and they were, so they're off brand suppositories. And they were, it was so hot in the room, because the air conditioning sucks in Tulum too, that, that the, the fucking suppository was melting in my, that's what I used. The suppository was melting in my fingers.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  You have to take the box off, do you know that?

• 51:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What about shoving the box in my ass?

• 51:46Speaker 01

  It's not doing anything.

• 51:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I had to put the suppositories in my fridge and then cool them down, and then I shoved them up my ass and they didn't work. Wait, I have the best picture. Oh my God, you're gonna love this. Um, in the meantime, I've got some live dates. Um, September 18th and 19th at the Den Theater in Chicago, Jizzinoy, and then October 9th through 10th at Wise Guys Comedy Club in, um, Short Lake Titties, Pootah. And then I'm gonna do, um, the Skank Fest November 13th and 14th. I'm so stoked in New Orleans. Have you done that yet? Have you been to it?

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I've read it every year.

• 52:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  You love it.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  It's the best, yeah, yeah.

• 52:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's my first time. I can't wait.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  This is the only time I'm not doing it, but.

• 52:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  What, Ryan, what?

• 52:32Speaker 01

  You know what happened is I, I'm doing a special, I'm putting another hour together and it was just, I had this, it was just, we had this whole thing booked. It was gonna be just too much of a nightmare and I've done it. I'll do it next year.

• 52:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, the timing. Um, do you have some dates you want to plug before we show this?

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, please. I'm doing, uh, the Wilbur in Boston. In July 17th Rochester and then I'm filming my special in Denver if you come out to that. And then actually I'm doing these big dates in Kitchener, Moncton and then Nashville and that's probably enough. But punchup.live slash Ryan Long. But yeah, if you're in Denver, it's getting close to sold out and I'm doing a special there. So that'd be sick if you came. We'd all appreciate it.

• 53:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where are you filming it?

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Comedy Works.

• 53:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yes, it does. Comedy Works, Comedy and Prayer. That's exciting.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm pumped. Yeah.

• 53:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I want to do a special at Comedy Works.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  It is the, it's the best. I was on stage last time I played there and in my mind, I was like, not even thinking about my jokes. I'm just like, I should do my special here. I wonder if I should talk as I'm talking.

• 53:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  I'm like, maybe I change the roof a little bit.

• 53:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, it's so good.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 53:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, let me know when you're ready with my video.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  Still loading.

• 53:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's still loading? Anyway, I had to shove these Mexican suppositories at my ass and then none, none of them worked.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  What's the picture of?

• 53:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll show you the pictures. Can you show just the still? Cause actually I don't even need the whole video.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Oh, it's in the video. Right.

• 53:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you just show us the still?

• 53:56Speaker 04

  I don't have it just yet. Sorry.

• 53:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's okay. Anyway, the cleaning staff tidied up the wrappers to the suppositories and put them in like a glass jar. You know, they put it in the glass. They're like, she's going to need these later. Like you guys can throw away the suppository wrappings. Like I should have thrown it away arguably. I agree. I agree. But to tidy it and put it under like a glass case was so fucking rad.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's like, happy birthday. I'm 50. Okay. Um, as you know, I do TikToks. But first actually I want to play this one for you since you are Canadian, so am I.

• 54:35Speaker 06

  One thing I love about living in Canada is that as a geared woman with P M O S, it's pretty safe for me to exist here. Not only is this a fully safe country, but it's also beautiful. Like check this out. It's a Friday. Okay. Look at this. I am on my paddleboard in the middle of the lake. I'm feeling super grateful for where I live and for the safety that that brings me as a bearded woman and for this beautiful country. So happy Pride Month to all of you.

• 55:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a nice beard.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  It's a great beard and it's an unfortunate time that she lives in because at the local carnival, she would have been making bank before, right?

• 55:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  It's a crowded marketplace now.

• 55:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Born in the, you know when people say they're born in the wrong era?

• 55:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd be bathing in it.

• 55:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know dude, she could be stacking checks with that beard. It's so nice.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  That's, that is a woman, because those tits are not implants. So that's a woman that grew a beard.

• 55:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Mm-hmm, PCOS. It's a, it's a hormonal thing, I think, which I imagine-

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Oh, that's not, that's, that's natty?

• 55:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, no, that's her beard. That's, that's because of a, like a dysfunction of the hormones, which I imagine you could take meds for to regulate, but maybe she, she prefers to have the beard?

• 55:51Speaker 01

  See, in my opinion, originally, I'm like, this woman's jacked on tea right now, right? Like you, because a lot of times to get the beard, you just take so much testosterone. So you're just walking around like stiff-arming everyone.

• 56:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  That's what I thought.

• 56:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, this is a disorder.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Okay, well, that's like, uh, much, a very different category.

• 56:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very different category.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  When you're natty.

• 56:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  When you're natty like that, it is a deliberate choice. But then again, apropos our earlier discussion of like, there's somebody out there that's gonna bang her. There's somebody out there right now that's like, it's my favorite thing in the world, a bearded lady.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that, you, you just hit the nail on the head because not only is it, they're gonna bang her, that's their favorite thing.

• 56:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's their favorite, it makes their dick so hard.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  They can't believe that what they want exists. Yeah.

• 56:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you know what's crazy though, is that how did people find love before the internets? Because back in the day, she would just be made fun of in her town and her community, right?

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, there might not be one.

• 56:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  There, how would she find the one pervert in the world, like in Slovenia or whatever, that like, that's the one? I'm just so happy that people can hook up now on the internet.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  Now, the other side of that though, you are the guy that that's been your whole thing of all I've ever wanted. You've pictured it. And then she posts on the internet, you- Track her down and she's, he's, she's like, you're like, I, my soulmate essentially. And she goes, ew, get away from you stalker.

• 57:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God, I know how sad.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  And you have to explain to her, like, we're, I don't think you understand that we're meant to be together.

• 57:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, this is it. It's you and me, kid. God made us.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  I, I was obsessed with Aniston, but you know, she's in my, I let her go. It's me and you forever.

• 57:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, here's my suppositories that God, that God, I didn't use that. Don't think that's used. I just would open them and then they would melt. And so I would like, put them on that counter. Uh, last night I came back and I opened two suppositories and I just put them like here loose. Cleaning stuff.

• 57:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Tidied up. These aren't used. These are just ones I open and discarded, but isn't that nice? What a hotel. Shouts out to Secrets.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, like they're mints.

• 58:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I thought that was so nice that they put it in a little, she was like, hey, put your suppository in a little container.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  This woman has a better beard than me.

• 58:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. Do you feel jellies?

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I needed to get, do you know I got in a fight with the low testosterone center in Denver?

• 58:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why?

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Actually, so I went to Denver and I made this, uh, like, it was just a joke photo where I posted, I said something along lines of like, I went to the low T center and they kicked me out. They said, your kind's not welcome here. Like, you know, cause I'm so high T, whatever. They, their lawyers started messaging me, sending me cease and desist to take down the, the video.

• 58:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, the, the, the low T lawyers at the low T center.

• 58:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  What a bunch of limp decks, am I right?

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Is that not kind of a low T move to get you?

• 58:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very low T move.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then I was like doubling down and then the low T center just back, I just, they just, but they sent me like three or four messages and they're just like, you're gonna be, we're gonna be suing you if you don't take this photo down. But it was also.

• 58:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't play it on our show. I don't want to get those fucking letters.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  No, you don't want to mess with these guys, but it is, the funny part is in their, their, their thing. They're just like, this is slander. We did, we never turn people away because their T is too high, like kind of.

• 59:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's fun to read those letters because like you said, the legalese of it, like we do not in fact turn away people. And you're like, well, no dummy. I'm a comedian. Of course, you fucking idiot. You low T.

• 59:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right?

• 59:29Speaker 01

  But yeah, that's a high T one.

• 59:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a high T.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  That's a better beard than me.

• 59:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's a high T. Okay, here we go. I'm so happy to have you with these TikToks.

• 59:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here we go. I like to showcase the marginalized communities, so you will not be seeing people dancing.

• 59:42Speaker 07

  I'm outside.

• 59:46Speaker 07

  For a little bit.

• 59:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just a little bit.

• 59:48Speaker 07

  It's actually nice outside.

• 59:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  It looks nice.

• 59:51Speaker 07

  Cloudy.

• 59:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 59:53Speaker 07

  Breezy.

• 59:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good.

• 59:54Speaker 07

  No rain.

• 59:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 59:56Speaker 07

  But still.

• 59:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 59:57Speaker 07

  It's nice out.

• 1:00:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

• 1:00:04Speaker 07

  I do not know about tomorrow.

• 1:00:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, nobody does.

• 1:00:08Speaker 07

  But if it was like it was today.

• 1:00:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 07

  I'm all for it.

• 1:00:14Speaker 07

  Anyways.

• 1:00:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anyways.

• 1:00:16Speaker 07

  That's it for right now. Choke the raven.

• 1:00:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 1:00:19Speaker 07

  Nevermore.

• 1:00:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Choke the raven? What did he say? I choked the raven.

• 1:00:23Tom Segura?

  Quoth the raven.

• 1:00:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Quoth the raven. Oh, right, right, right. I mean.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Is this guy like a billion views? Or did you find him?

• 1:00:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that an Edgar Allan Poe? Nevermore? Yeah, I mean, I, listen, he did that stupidity and then he throws out an Edgar Allan Poe reference and you're like, wait a minute, this guy's not a fucking idiot.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Who is this? Yeah.

• 1:00:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  Who are you?

• 1:00:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now I'm a traitor.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  He's in witness protection. He just blew his cover.

• 1:00:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. We just thought you were a dipshit reporting the weather.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  There is such a market for the.

• 1:00:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like what?

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  I'm borderline retarded, you know? People love it. Cause it's so, it's endearing.

• 1:01:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love it.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's a reason Forrest Gump was a huge hit, like. Now I think this guy's playing me. Motherfucker, right?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  This guy goes back to his encyclopedia and laughs.

• 1:01:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Donald ducks, Donald ducks in his pile of mine years, Scrooge McDever.

• 1:01:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you fucking bitch.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's a, it's a. It is crazy, the amount of people that are getting super famous where it's like a joke, I guess.

• 1:01:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  Where you go, it's better to be like my whole, have you seen, I don't know if you can play it because there's, I guess copyright, but there's a guy and he goes, he has these AI kind of songs and he goes, "And I'm from Tennessee, you're the only Tennessee."

• 1:01:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's cute.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  And it's the worst recorded songs ever and it's a middle, you know, 50 year old guy and he does these bad dances.

• 1:01:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Bad songs, he knows they're bad, the audience knows they're bad.

• 1:01:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  And he's crushing it.

• 1:01:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Crushing it. Well, here.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  You can't compete.

• 1:01:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, see if you can compete with this.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  It's my closer.

• 1:02:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  First time body percussion on stage. This person.

• 1:02:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm so angry. There's people, multiple people.

• 1:02:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:02:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, why aren't they watching this? Why are we watching this?

• 1:02:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate, and can you imagine how long this stupid horse shit goes on for?

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Sort of a copycat. The original guy was the dude with the spoons.

• 1:02:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I was thinking, which is, isn't that like an old Appalachian tradition?

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like playing this, like poor people sit on the porch and play fucking spoons. But this is just like, you know, weird, ambiguous, non-binary, fat lesbian slap in her belly. That's not.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Cause you are right, anyone could do that. If you are gonna be a body percussionist, put the work in.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Kind of. This is a guy being like, I'm the new lizard man.

• 1:03:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's not a guy.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  And then you have like one temporary tattoo of like a scale.

• 1:03:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  You have to put the effort in.

• 1:03:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  You have to put the effort in.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  That, that to me is the problem with that because that wasn't, that wasn't good body percussion. As you've seen the other guys on the end, they're going to town on their bodies, probably come home black and blue.

• 1:03:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I think I've seen like, street performers doing it, but not on TikTok.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, one man band stuff.

• 1:03:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I didn't realize that this was an actual talent like Elaine. I apologize to the body percussion community. Now I'm understanding that she's just an inferior product to an existing community.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  I guess it must be nice to be able to just afford drums, but not everyone's in that situation.

• 1:03:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  True, must be nice. Must be nice.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Some people play hockey, some people have to play soccer.

• 1:03:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Got it.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Look, since your video don't work and your phone's a piece of shit,

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  call me on your phone.

• 1:04:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  531-210-2895. I'll pick you up.

• 1:04:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  We'll meet. I'm not sending you no money. Don't ask.

• 1:04:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  How many times has he sent money to a chick?

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  That's right. I'm not sending you any money. Again, this time.

• 1:04:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cindy, you fucking whore. Yeah.

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  For real this time.

• 1:04:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  For real.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Well, I thought he had a tattooed head. He dyed his hair?

• 1:04:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh. I don't know. What's that thing above his head? It looks like a thimble, like a big thimble, like a sewing thimble? What is that?

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  So he wants people to call him, though, but...

• 1:04:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, yeah, you guys know what to do.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  But you're not getting any money?

• 1:04:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're not getting any money from this fucking guy. Okay, here we go. Oh, here we go. Oh. Oh. So fast. Look at that reload. Look at that belly. Look at that belly. Look at the belly. Belly's fat.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  This is Alec Baldwin to the stewardess.

• 1:04:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, he's serious.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Find my bag. Where's my bag?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:05:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's the beep for? Is that the, like, shooting countdown?

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Is he timing himself?

• 1:05:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Beep. It's like a hunting thing? Or a gun thing?

• 1:05:15Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I think he's timing himself.

• 1:05:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's timing.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  He sent this to his wife and he goes, "Oh, I have to get a job. You seen this? Oh, I have to get a job."

• 1:05:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, who's making the bucks now? And then who are the pictures? What's the pictures of him? The photographs next to him? He's timing himself?

• 1:05:33Tom Segura?

  It's gotta be his victims.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's timing, and his belly keeps hanging out. It fucking kills me.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  With guys like this, there's a little bit, like, you know you could have done a second take.

• 1:05:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  You could do as many as you want.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. That was, that, if that was the best take.

• 1:05:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  The belly was way more out in the other side.

• 1:05:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I always think that, too, is like, you can just take your time making this video. Like, there's no urgency for you to put this out there.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Well, maybe his parole officer was coming by 11 and he wants to, he's got...

• 1:06:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's gotta get in before.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  He just got a message, like, "I'm, you know, I'm doing a checkup today," and he goes, "30 seconds to make my gun video for the day."

• 1:06:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, this one's my favorite.

• 1:06:16Speaker 06

  I know myself very well.

• 1:06:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking love her so much.

• 1:06:18Speaker 06

  I can do this shit.

• 1:06:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love her.

• 1:06:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:06:26Speaker 06

  I do not know myself very well. I do not know myself.

• 1:06:34Speaker 06

  I'm fine though. I'm fine. I didn't hurt myself at all.

• 1:06:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  This chick rules.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, great.

• 1:06:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love her so much. Hold on, listen to her lead up.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Legend.

• 1:06:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Listen to her lead up. It's the best.

• 1:06:43Speaker 06

  Well, I know myself very well. I can do this shit.

• 1:06:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:06:55Speaker 06

  I do not know myself very well. I do not know myself.

• 1:07:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is my kind of lady.

• 1:07:02Speaker 06

  I'm fine though. I'm fine. I didn't hurt myself at all.

• 1:07:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who, I would kick it with her. Was she the best to get ripped with?

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want to applaud that one. That was

• 1:07:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, she's fucking cool.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Huge effort, badass.

• 1:07:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, and then just a sense of humor the entire time.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Not for a second did she be, ah, screw off. You know, she's in the zone, fun.

• 1:07:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Coolest woman alive. Alright, we'll do one.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  You want to sit beside her at a funeral?

• 1:07:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hell yeah, dog.

• 1:07:31Speaker 06

  You know, a lot of people ask me if I'm a woman.

• 1:07:36Speaker 06

  A lot of people ask me, you're a woman, how do you grow hair like that, like that? Literally, we live in such a world.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  That guy likes it.

• 1:07:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, see, his dick is hard.

• 1:07:49Speaker 06

  Women come from all different heritages, okay?

• 1:07:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, heritages.

• 1:07:57Speaker 06

  And we grow our hair just as mother and intended us to.

• 1:08:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God, this is so long. You got the picture. This broad's got leg hair. She's really into it. I mean, why do you have to be so into your, I don't know, when people get really attached to like their body things? I don't know.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  You are right, because that becomes your shtick.

• 1:08:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's your whole identity.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  You, you are the leg hair girl. I was doing a joke where I said that, you know, women had to wear makeup because God didn't finish their faces, but We didn't finish guys dicks, but yeah, the and then he left the leg hair on the girls just because he was he's dicking around that day.

• 1:08:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I like that idea.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, and also what's kind of a bummer is that like she's she's got a great body. If you do this, like you cover the bottom.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, nothing wrong with her.

• 1:08:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's great.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  That one is not a hard sell. It's like you're just like, at the most, you go, all right, like, if you were dating seriously, I think by month two, you'd kind of be like, can we, is it, are you that attached to the leg?

• 1:08:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  So Ryan, you're telling me that you would you would look past the leg hair in the beginning even like you think.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  I think in the beginning, look past is the wrong word because you're not even looking.

• 1:09:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  You know, I think at the beginning most, especially, you know, she's probably a little younger, like dudes in their twenties, you're just like, oh, you look past, you go, what? I look past everything.

• 1:09:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, like you're so keyed up. Right, right. You don't even know that this.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  So yeah, if you got back and she was like, I've armpit hair and leg hair, it's like an eye roll.

• 1:09:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  At most, it's an eye roll.

• 1:09:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  I think, but then by, you know, but then after little things that didn't gross you out at the beginning start to be like, Kate, this is.

• 1:09:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Well, I, I think too, what would become annoying is her politicizing the body hair, which always like these hairy chicks are always into like talking about the fucking social theory behind it. Like, can't you just be a lazy hairy chick?

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Good point.

• 1:09:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  And shut the fuck up about like the, I've got friends that don't shave their pits and they don't have to talk about it ad nauseam. You know what I mean?

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  That's a, it's a guy who.

• 1:10:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just be.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  Put on an extra 80 pounds and he goes, this is a statement.

• 1:10:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  I'm making a statement against society's norms.

• 1:10:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you're fine.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  You like food.

• 1:10:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, no one cares. Yeah, you shut the fuck up. I get it. You're hairy. Okay.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, when women do have armpit hair, I'll tell you what they don't like is you pulling it.

• 1:10:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  They don't really?

• 1:10:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've been shaving mine since the minute I got it. I absolutely hate it.

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:10:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate it.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  You know, people do always make that point where like someone like that would be like, well, why do we have to shave our legs? And you go, you could, it's a fair point, but you go, men do have to shave their beards. Like it's, they kind of say, why do we have to do it? And you go, we also do have to shave.

• 1:10:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's true. You guys have to do it. We don't have to, but it is society.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. But if you're a guy with the biggest beard in the world, like you're also kind of making it, you're that, that's your whole identity. Yeah. But I have heard that point where people go, you don't know what it's like. You have to shave. You go, do you think I don't shave? I do have to shave.

• 1:10:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  You can choose.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Men laser the backs now.

• 1:10:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh God. Okay. We're going to close on this one.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Hello. Legend.

• 1:11:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  That was it. Thank you so much, Ryan Long. Thank you so much for being here. I, it's been such a delight. I've loved you for years and I'm so glad to finally have met you in person and.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  You're so over the top nice. You, what you guys have built here is insane. That was very nice of you to say you like my videos and stuff. So I very much appreciate it.

• 1:11:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Loved you.

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  But it's very, I'm so happy to be here and I'm doing it, Kurt's do. So it's cool to finally get to be here. Cause it's a fixture in the podcasting comedy community for sure.

• 1:11:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  And also, uh, see Ryan Long live. He's doing the Wilbur pretty soon, right? And then, uh, see me live.

• 1:11:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  There you go. Probably my lipstick too. I'm wearing today Berlin in liquid lipstick. Actually, is that what I call it? No. Nocturne liquid lipstick. It lasts forever.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Mogul.

• 1:11:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right. I love you guys. Bye, meows.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Cucumber.

• 1:12:41Speaker 06

  How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber?

• 1:12:51Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck and I'd break your fucking neck.

• 1:12:55Speaker 06

  This is why yes, we'll have to let the justice pad him out of the show.

• 1:12:59Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap, snap. Snap your fucking neck, snap, snap. Do you know that, don't you? Don't you?

• 1:13:06Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:08Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:09Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:10Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:13:11Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:13Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:14Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:15Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:13:27Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:28Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:29Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:30Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:13:32Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:33Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:34Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:35Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:13:37Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:38Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:39Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:40Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:13:42Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:43Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:13:44Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:13:45Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:13:52Speaker 06

  How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber?

• 1:14:12Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck and I'd break your fucking neck.

• 1:14:16Speaker 06

  This is why yes, we'll have to let the justice pad him out of the show.

• 1:14:20Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap, snap. Snap your fucking neck, snap, snap. Do you know that, don't you? Don't you?

• 1:14:27Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:28Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:30Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:31Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:14:32Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:33Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:35Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:36Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:14:37Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:39Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:40Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:41Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:14:42Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:44Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:45Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:46Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:14:47Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:49Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:50Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:51Speaker 07

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:54Speaker 07

  Snap, snap.

• 1:14:55Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:14:56Speaker 07

  I'd snap your fucking neck.

• 1:15:08Speaker 06

  How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber? How you say? How you say? How you say? Cucumber?

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  Snap your fucking neck and have a break, you fucking neck.

• 1:15:27Speaker 06

  This is why, yes, we'll have to like to just pat him out of the show.

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  Out of the show. Snap, snap, snap, snap. Snap your fucking neck, snap, snap. Do you know that, don't you? Don't you?

• 1:15:38Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  Snap, snap.

• 1:15:41Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  Snap, snap, snap.

• 1:15:43Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:15:44Speaker 02

  Snap, snap.

• 1:15:46Speaker 06

  When I'm talking, you're not talking.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  Snap your fucking neck.