Spending the Holidays with Partners and Families … Or Not?

'Tis the season to talk about peace, love…and drama. We discuss the dynamics of spending the holidays with family when you're in a relationship, how to navigate the in-laws, what most couples are doing (and not doing), and our controversial opinion on spending every holiday with your partner. We also talk about family estrangement, our feelings on "Life is too short to fight with your family," and how to work through some of these hard situations. Then we share some of our listeners' hilarious/traumatic holiday experiences with partners' families that truly shocked us. And before we get into the topic, we're debating two polarizing shower behaviors, and Rayna has a big announcement! Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Aura Frames: Get $35 off the bestselling Carver Mat frame at https://auraframes.com with code GGE. Article: Head to https://article.com for a beautiful new sofa, dining table, or bed. Skims: Shop our favorite pajamas at skims.com. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Storyworth: Get $10 off or more at https://storyworth.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Today, we are talking about spending the holidays with partners and family.

• 0:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Or not.

• 0:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or not.

• 0:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production.

• 0:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

• 0:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  We are recording on a Friday afternoon.

• 0:33Rayna Greenberg?

  4:00 PM on a Friday, like, do we even own our own business? Like, who made us come here?

• 0:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  We made this decision together, but then I was like, let's get drinks after, hang out socially, like you always want to do.

• 0:44Rayna Greenberg?

  You never asked me to hang out. We're probably doing it.

• 0:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I will say, I am excited to hang out with you, but I have just been wanting to go to the place that's, there's a great place right next door to our studio. We don't utilize it enough. It is stunning. The drinks are great. The food's great, because everywhere in L.A., the food is great. And so I'm excited to just bop over there. We don't go there enough. That should be our spot.

• 1:05Rayna Greenberg?

  We used to hang out after we recorded. We couldn't get enough of each other in the beginning of our relationship. We'd go out to dinner.

• 1:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  First three months.

• 1:11Rayna Greenberg?

  We'd go out to dinner, first years and years. We hung out a lot. We went out to dinner every night after we recorded at Ozatar.

• 1:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love to see people.

• 1:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Don't act like you don't want this.

• 1:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Startups, startups. Everybody wants this life. I love to see people start doing a podcast when it's, I mean this genuinely. I don't want it to sound condescending. When people start a podcast, like, we have friends that are doing one right now, and they're, like, drinking, and it's just so loose. Like, I love that energy. And then, one day, it becomes your business, and you're like, I guess we shouldn't drink on the job. But also, you can.

• 1:45Rayna Greenberg?

  You could do anything. I think it just, it sounded cute and funny to be like, be drunk when we recorded. Narrator, Raina, was not cute and funny when she was drinking.

• 1:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, no one can ever tell when I drank.

• 1:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Everyone's like, is she speaking words? Is that even English?

• 2:00Rayna Greenberg?

  One drink. My lisp comes flying out of my face.

• 2:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  I like to talk about.

• 2:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  We'll get into it, but just I want to up top. So I just got my nails done. Here's the thing. I have not strayed from a reddish color that matches my ring in since I got engaged. And because it's a lot going on and I wanted to complement or match. And so I've always done ruby, red hues. One time I did a light pink, which was complimentary. I wanted to do this for the holiday show, which is over now. So thank you guys for coming. We should say that up top. We'll talk about it next week, but we I'm sure it was amazing. And I've done this before. This is gold chrome with Raina Doll with black base. So you can do chrome powder on a white or a black base. I did this before. I did it for the Beyonce concert.

• 2:52Rayna Greenberg?

  I've done silver with a black base and it looked great.

• 2:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I think this is my fault. This is my fault. My nail girl is incredible. Like they look amazing. If this is what I wanted, but I don't anymore.

• 3:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Did you? Okay, let me ask you. I feel like it's like the most common meme from like 2018 of like, we're all scared of our nail people. Like we all realized it as like a community.

• 3:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you forgetting?

• 3:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you forgetting that we you said this an hour ago? I was like, I'm having nail regret. And you were like, we should talk about in the podcast. I'm like, we already did and it went viral. Are you not?

• 3:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Everybody.

• 3:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  We did a whole clip on like, I started with saying, we're not talking about nail regret enough.

• 3:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I just meant, no, no, I meant be afraid of your nail tech.

• 3:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, I'm not. We Raina, we've been together longer than Shashank and I, Julieta and I.

• 3:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 3:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  She comes to my house. We've been together.

• 3:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Me and Jess too.

• 3:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Since March 2023.

• 3:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I mean, she was like, how's Ashley's wedding? How's the fishing?

• 3:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Jess, love Jess, shout out to Julieta and Jess.

• 3:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Pinky's Nail Salon in Santa Monica is best.

• 3:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is on me and I've already messaged her and been, I might want to get it redone. I don't want to look at this for a month. I feel bad.

• 3:59Rayna Greenberg?

  I can feel it.

• 4:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, it's, this does look pretty dope. It just doesn't match my rings and it's a little too like green. I want it more, it's just not the gold I wanted. It does look sick.

• 4:11Rayna Greenberg?

  People like it, so I've done silver chrome and I've done green chrome. Actually green, not gold green. And people like it, but it's just.

• 4:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thoughts fired.

• 4:18Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just, it's not.

• 4:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  She did a great job. She crushed it. It's just not what I, I didn't know myself in that moment.

• 4:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I didn't know you.

• 4:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you know that feeling, you're like, I've made a mistake.

• 4:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I also don't like anything like too loud or busy because I get sick of it in two days. And I'm just like, why did I do this? I want polka dot nails so badly, but I know I will hate her in two days.

• 4:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like, let's look at the calendar here. These are going to be how I enter 2026.

• 4:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, you a whole month?

• 4:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I do a month, a month.

• 4:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I do like two and a half weeks.

• 4:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay. I go a month.

• 4:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Wild.

• 4:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't enter, this is, can't be the energy.

• 4:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Mine are too long.

• 4:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  I go into 2026 with.

• 4:54Rayna Greenberg?

  No, but if you're seeing something, you should say something.

• 4:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, if you see something, say something. One nail, think about, take a break, take a breather.

• 5:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Hold, hold your phone with it, type with it.

• 5:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Look at your rings with it. And how do you feel?

• 5:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 5:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  They love if you just speak up after one nail.

• 5:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Tell people if you're uncomfortable.

• 5:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 5:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Use your voice, use your body.

• 5:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly. Speak your truth.

• 5:15Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, we're going to thank our partners and we'll have a big announcement. Okay, so thank you to Aura Frames. Get $35 off the bestselling Carver Matte Frame at auraframes.com with code GGE. And Article, head to article.com for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed and Skims. Shop our favorite pajamas at skims.com.

• 5:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at rocketmoney.com/gge. And thank you to Story Worth. Get $10 off or more at storyworth.com/gge.

• 5:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm so excited.

• 5:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my God, are you nervous? How do you feel?

• 5:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel so excited. I feel the most excited maybe I've ever felt in my life. Except for when we sold out the Chicago Theater and the Beacon and just, I mean, all my professional accomplishments with you. Those are the most exciting times of my life. So I am really proud and excited to announce, I've been working on this really hard. This is going to be a huge professional accomplishment of mine and I have felt so inspired by you, of course, for so long. And I am announcing.

• 6:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just say it.

• 6:09Rayna Greenberg?

  My first solo tour.

• 6:13Rayna Greenberg?

  I am going to 20 cities. It's called Honestly, It's You. It is an hour of dating and sex. And obviously it's a love letter to all the people that I've dated in the last year and all the problems I had with them and why they're the problem and not me.

• 6:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's therapeutic, if you will.

• 6:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Any therapist coming, they're like, oh, no. This is how you cope.

• 6:34Rayna Greenberg?

  My follow up tour is going to be called And I Was Right. If I slept with you this year, this is about you. Just so you know.

• 6:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  I like that name.

• 6:41Rayna Greenberg?

  If I slept with you this year, this is about you. You probably think this is about you and you are correct.

• 6:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is this fucking play about us? Every guy in the audience, wait, is this about us?

• 6:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I've thought about a couple of people sitting there in that audience being like, this is about me.

• 6:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't even watch Euphoria and I think about that meme all the time.

• 7:01Rayna Greenberg?

  All the time, all the fucking time. So it's called Honestly, It's You. It is 20 tour stops. It starts January 29th. I'm announcing it today. Pre-sale starts December 17th. The code for pre-sale is honestly. And full, full send sale starts on December 19th, 10 a.m. Local time. The website to shop is rainagreberg.com.

• 7:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Remember, she got Squarespace. She'll just squar.

• 7:29Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm just, I'm really excited about how it looks so far. The tour, our tour poster designer is amazing. Brian and Chloe, who did our website, did my website and it just looks great. And I've been just working on these stories and I like go to sleep telling myself these jokes every single night. And I'm just, I'm so excited to see you guys on the road. And I have incredible openers. Our, one of our best friends, Brittany Schmidt is going to come with me. And I'm kicking off the tour in Tampa, January 29th, and then Miami, February 1st. And Ashley will be with me to give me away to the world. That first show, my dad is also coming, you and my dad.

• 8:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't even believe it. We need to be up there together, arm in arm. Bill and I giving you away.

• 8:08Rayna Greenberg?

  He'll fart on stage.

• 8:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Rayna was fighting for this Florida tour start. It wasn't originally supposed to be in Florida. And then it was just like, it has to be in Tampa, you know?

• 8:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Tampa means a lot to me. I really like it. If anybody has a connection to Dave Bautista, I think he should be there. I would really like Dave Bautista to be there.

• 8:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 8:26Rayna Greenberg?

  And.

• 8:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't see why not.

• 8:28Rayna Greenberg?

  All of our friends are going to the Miami one. And we're going to, yeah, we're going to a bachelorette party that weekend in between. So I just, I cannot wait. The material is so fun and funny. I can't wait to see you guys and just travel the country and. I mean, what a blessing. And I'm ending the tour in New York City.

• 8:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yay.

• 8:44Rayna Greenberg?

  May 14th at Gramercy Theater.

• 8:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 8:46Rayna Greenberg?

  We had our very first holiday show and I feel emotional about it. And I just, I think about that show and just like thanking everybody and I'm just so excited.

• 8:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. I'm just so excited too. I'm so proud of you. And I know a lot of the material and I think it's so hilarious and really inspiring too. And you guys are gonna love it. And I, I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait to come to some of these and not work.

• 9:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm so excited for you.

• 9:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  I get to be like Raina, just rosé on stage, slurring, announcing her.

• 9:16Rayna Greenberg?

  You can run out there if you want. I don't care. I think it'll be fun. It'll be great. You know, we had this really nice moment in the car the other day where I like told you this line and you were like, you know, you should say, and you like completed the line. And I was like, I broke that line.

• 9:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, no.

• 9:28Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was just like, man, that's like the same brain. Like, it made me laugh so hard. And I just, I can't fucking wait. I can't wait to do it. It's gonna be so much fun. And that's it. I can't wait to see you guys on the road. And this is great for holiday tickets. I set those prices pretty low. So if you need last minute holiday gifts for people.

• 9:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that.

• 9:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Get those tickets and bring your friends, bring your partner, your dad, your mom, whoever.

• 9:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Guys, when you get Raina's tickets and post on stories, tag me too.

• 9:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Just to feel the rush. I wish I would.

• 10:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm gonna be living vicariously. No, it's gonna start to get weird. It's like, it's not Ashley's tour, but she's at every stop.

• 10:09Rayna Greenberg?

  When you launched your tour and then you were posting the Instagram stories, I was like, oh, man, I wanna post these.

• 10:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  So tag me too.

• 10:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm gonna out post Raina. Like, we're getting so many tags today for the tour.

• 10:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Why does Ashley have so many story reposts?

• 10:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God. It is gonna be mid tour. You're gonna be like, you don't have to come anymore. Like, it's fine. I'm like, no, people wanna see me. They, people keep asking for me, I think.

• 10:41Rayna Greenberg?

  I'll be like, show me the DMs. I think people would love to see you on this tour.

• 10:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I, it's just the Florida thing. Again, we like, we have a friend's way of Alyssa's Bachelorette that weekend and it just like made sense and we're both going to be together and it's just going to be so fun and, you know, start it somewhere warm because right after that you're going straight.

• 10:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Madison, Wisconsin.

• 10:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hypothermia tour.

• 11:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Um, but all the cities that we know and love, and if you don't see your city there, you know, let me know, but it's, it's Philly, it's DC, it's Boston, it's San Diego, San Francisco, obviously LA, New York.

• 11:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Houston.

• 11:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Madison, Denver, Houston, Austin, Dallas. Where else am I going? Minneapolis?

• 11:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 11:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Say other stuff.

• 11:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think you said it. I mean, Chicago, obviously. I think you.

• 11:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, Portland and Seattle.

• 11:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Rayna Greenberg?

  That might be it. Phoenix.

• 11:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 11:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I think I hit them all. You know, I could have just read it off the top.

• 11:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think that's, that felt like 20.

• 11:28Rayna Greenberg?

  That felt like 20 to me. And if you don't see your city there, you know, let me know. Maybe I'll do a second leg. Who's the second?

• 11:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can always add. I was adding until the last minute. I was like Philly, I'll be there next week. Ah.

• 11:37Rayna Greenberg?

  You were like, I just added this Minneapolis show and it sold out and.

• 11:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  That was weird. That was a week out. Let's add it.

• 11:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I may practice this in New York, so I, I am performing in New York this week. If you guys want to come see me at the stand, I'll be there. And that's it. Just, you know, I love you guys so much. To have this audience is such a blessing and to be inspired by you is such a blessing and to have seen what you accomplished this year. I mean, you have 43 sold out shows. It's unbelievable and I can't wait. And this audience is just the greatest blessing in the world. I can't wait to go into 2026 with you guys and share this with you. And I just, I love you guys so much. I can't wait to see you. So rainagreymour.com, get those tickets. If they sell out, we'll think about adding more shows. We'll see, but try to sell it out.

• 12:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Obviously.

• 12:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 12:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, love you. Can't wait.

• 12:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Love you. I can't wait. You're going to come on the whole tour. You don't have to come on stage. You could just hang out.

• 12:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  We'll see. I'll, I'll see how I feel.

• 12:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Me, you and Brittany could hang out. I got that other opener. He's hot.

• 12:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 12:31Rayna Greenberg?

  That shouldn't be a selling point for you, but he's nice to look at.

• 12:35Rayna Greenberg?

  I have great openers. You guys will love them.

• 12:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it's going to be great. You, when Raina hard launched her opener to me, I was just like, oh my gosh, so crazy.

• 12:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, what I told you. No one thought this was a good idea. He's too hot.

• 12:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  But that's your whole brand. Like, hey, Raina, not a good idea. And then you do it anyway. And then you're like, that's their fault.

• 12:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Honestly, it's you. So, you know, I was gonna call. This is funny. So Melanie and I were like workshopping ideas. And she's like, I think you should call it Honestly, It's Me. And I was like, that's funny. And I was telling Andrew Collin, and he was like, that doesn't feel authentic to you. And I was like, you're right. Me blaming other people for my problems feels much more authentic to me.

• 13:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it really is so true. Like, not that I don't, I like Honestly, It's Me too. But that is not the takeaway. The takeaway is not self-reflection.

• 13:28Rayna Greenberg?

  The takeaway is a mirror up to your behavior.

• 13:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Even though everyone told me not to do it. I did it anyway.

• 13:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Probably the longest part of the hour is specifically something that no one thought was gonna. I can't even stress. Nobody would even talk to me about it.

• 13:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  No one endorsed it.

• 13:44Rayna Greenberg?

  So much worse. No one would even talk to me about it. No one would entertain it, where I was like, he's being so cute, funny. No one would ever, no one would be like, respond to me.

• 13:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just trying to block it out.

• 13:55Rayna Greenberg?

  And look, I have a 15 minute set about it now.

• 13:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly. Okay, well, rainagreberg.com. Everybody tag me too. And you said you had something to tell me?

• 14:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, so you guys might be looking me up on Instagram. And there is a feature, the search feature now. So if you type in my name, it gives you like an AI summary of the person. So this is a new thing that's been happening on Instagram.

• 14:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, when you search.

• 14:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Have you done this before? Have you done this recently?

• 14:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just haven't done it for myself.

• 14:20Rayna Greenberg?

  But remember you said the people that you're following are appearing at the top?

• 14:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 14:23Rayna Greenberg?

  If you let it keep cooking, it'll give you an AI summary.

• 14:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just let it cook.

• 14:27Rayna Greenberg?

  It'll give you, and a bunch of our listeners have sent me this. Okay. Rayna Greenberg, a media entrepreneur and podcast host, passed away on January 7th, 2025. The internet thinks I'm dead.

• 14:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  No. What do you mean?

• 14:40Rayna Greenberg?

  She's best known for co-hosting the popular podcast Girl Has Got to Eat Along, said Ashley How's the Time? The podcast focuses on candidates, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Before her passing, Raina.

• 14:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, Raina. How did you die?

• 14:51Rayna Greenberg?

  It doesn't say.

• 14:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  January 7th?

• 14:54Rayna Greenberg?

  January 7th, like during the LA fires.

• 14:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God, they think you died in the fire? That was the first day of the fire?

• 15:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did you post something that like the internet AI founded as she died?

• 15:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't think so. Oh my God, I'm dead. Okay, so it says before her passing, Raina had built a successful career in media, leaving behind her experience in culinary, in the culinary world, working in New York City restaurants, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Her work has earned her a substantial net worth estimated to be around $5 million in 2025. How do you guys know this? Thanks to her podcast and book deals.

• 15:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 15:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Raina's legacy lives on through her podcast and the impact she's made on her audience. If you're looking for more information on her work, you can check out Girls Got to Eat and her podcast interview with Trading Secrets Podcast, Jason Tardic.

• 15:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Jason Tardic, Jason wrote this?

• 15:44Rayna Greenberg?

  That's where my legacy lives on, Jason Tardic.

• 15:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Jason, Jason wrote this. R I P.

• 15:50Rayna Greenberg?

  So, and there's some insane photos below it, and then I pulled yours.

• 15:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Am I alive?

• 15:56Rayna Greenberg?

  You are alive.

• 15:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. They're like, Ashley died on November 1st, 2025.

• 16:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Ashley.

• 16:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Her legacy died.

• 16:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Ashley died on January 8th because she killed herself after she, after Raina died.

• 16:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 16:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Ashley Hesseltine, best known as Ash Hess, has been touring with her comedy shows, Sex Before Marriage. Her latest tour included The Ice House in Pasadena.

• 16:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Sold out City Whittery twice. They're like, The Ice House.

• 16:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  I did The Wilbur.

• 16:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  I shot two sold out shows for my special.

• 16:30Rayna Greenberg?

  But sure, The Ice House.

• 16:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Literally the smallest room.

• 16:36Rayna Greenberg?

  She's also co-host of the popular podcast Girls Got to Eat. She's been making waves with her co- in the comedy world with her honest storytelling. No one said that about me. Ashley Hesseltine has also released music as well with recent tracks like Make Me New and Like a Child, available on SoundCloud.

• 16:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  So there is a singer named Ashley Hess.

• 16:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, there is.

• 16:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ashley Hess. Okay. I think, I think she was even on American Idol, so it must be that.

• 17:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. And then afterwards, they pull a sample of photos.

• 17:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  No. Is it that one Getty image? Don't.

• 17:07Rayna Greenberg?

  So it's, so it says this, you know, and then you scroll up.

• 17:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  What the fuck? No, stop, don't.

• 17:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 17:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  My god. What the fuck is that?

• 17:22Rayna Greenberg?

  You can zoom in.

• 17:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Photo. This is so disturbing. I'll put it on the screen for you guys. I don't know.

• 17:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Two photos down is like a photo from 2015 of you on stage.

• 17:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 17:32Rayna Greenberg?

  There's like one photo of me and you and photos of you and Francis. I'm like, how did he even get on here?

• 17:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is something.

• 17:40Rayna Greenberg?

  The one right below it's from 2015.

• 17:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, but at least it's a comedy photo. All right, we'll head to YouTube if you guys want to see what we're talking about. This is so funny.

• 17:49Rayna Greenberg?

  So I wanted to tell you I'm dead. Our listeners have been telling me that I'm dead.

• 17:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, I have a couple of questions for you. And we'll get into the topic today and a reason why I wanted to do it. I just, I consumed a lot of TikTok over Thanksgiving and my-

• 18:02Rayna Greenberg?

  What else was there to do?

• 18:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I just was like scrolling too late, but I still, I got some like ideas and this came to me in a TikTok. This girl was just like, it's just coming to my attention that not everybody showers with their partner. And I was in the comments and they were split. People saying like, of course I shower with my partner. Not every time, but we shower together and it's intimate. And other people saying like, I would never.

• 18:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I have lived with three men in my life. I have never showered with my partner. Never, never. I can't, unless it was sex related, unless we were drunk and I was like, let's get in the shower.

• 18:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  So it could be like a four place situation?

• 18:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, unless, if it's cleanliness purposes, like my daily shower, I'm gonna shave, it's inconceivable to me. I'm gonna give you some reasons why though. First of all, I've lived in New York City my whole life and most of the showers were not big enough for two people.

• 18:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 18:57Rayna Greenberg?

  So I don't think I ever had a shower in New York.

• 19:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, this is, this is a New York thing.

• 19:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Cause my shower now has two gigantic, you could fit eight people in my shower.

• 19:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's a car wash.

• 19:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. You could literally fit a car. You could fit my car in the shower. And there's two giant showerheads. There would be no reason to not. New York City bathrooms are too small to have two people in them. And also I just, until more recently in my life, I had a lot of body image issues. And like, even though I was like 115 pounds, under- Ten pounds when I was engaged. I don't think I liked my body enough that I could deescalate enough to be naked and washing my hair. And I looked great, but I think it was inconceivable to me. But today, in my big shower, and I love my body and I'm proud of it, and it is what it is. And I just, I think that that would be fun. Okay, now I need to hear your thoughts, because I know that you guys shower together. But you're like, I'm ready to take my shower for the day. Do you want to get in with me?

• 19:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  We really mix it up. We do shower together, plenty. We also shower, he showers every morning before work and not every night. I mean, you know how I feel about it, but it's just whatever. That's, he's gonna live how he's gonna live. That's what a lot of people do.

• 20:06Rayna Greenberg?

  I want to talk about that also.

• 20:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, we've talked about this before. We talked about this years ago, just like you have the day in your butthole and you get into bed, but whatever.

• 20:15Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it's crazy to not shower at night, but I don't a lot of the times. Like, when I really, I never thought about it until we talked about it.

• 20:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's also one of those things where it's like, nothing bad has happened yet. You know, like, let me live. Like, I understand, some people would never wake up and not jump right into the shower, and that's fine. And some people would never go to bed without being showered. I mean, I don't feel that rigid in my life about anything. I shower after I work out or whenever. I don't wake up and get right into the shower. I do shower at 10 o'clock at night sometimes. Like, but it's, you know, if I work out, that's when I shower. And if it's mid-morning or afternoon or evening, that's my shower for the day.

• 20:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, it was different when you and I, or like when I lived in New York City, and I would go from Brooklyn to Manhattan, I'd take the subway. And I was just like out in midtown all day.

• 20:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 21:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Some days I wake up and the only time I leave the house is to like take a walk.

• 21:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 21:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not rolling around in dirt.

• 21:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly. And it's like, how do I feel? You know, if I did wake up and take a shower, and then at night I felt like I had the whole day in my butthole, and I don't want to get into bed, I would shower again. It's just whatever. Like, I don't know, I just kind of like to live life with a little flexibility. But we do shower together sometimes. When we first started dating, we were always in the shower together. We were long distance, we were at my place or his place or in a hotel. And we would hook up in the shower, you know, do different stuff in the shower. I'm not crazy about shower sex, but we would do it here and there. And now- It's just sometimes like I would be sad if he never wanted to shower together, but I would lose my mind if you wanted to shower every time together.

• 21:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like I need my alone time. I need my alone, everything shower twice a week.

• 21:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, are people, this is religion, are people shaving in the shower with their partner? You're gonna watch me like open my labia lips and like shave it?

• 22:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  I would never shave my pussy in the shower. I think once in a blue moon, I've shaved my legs in the shower with him. But no, that's my solo showers.

• 22:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 22:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  But yeah, he and I, I don't know, we have like a fun, flirty relationship. Like a lot of times if we get home from a trip, you want to shower, you've been traveling all day. We're traveling east to west coast. We want to jump right in the shower before we take, and we take off our airport clothes and we'll get in there together and we'll joke around. And but like, sometimes we're both fighting for the water and we like a little bit of a different temp.

• 22:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I like the idea of showering with your partner. I think like even if it's not for sex purposes, that's just like, it's silly.

• 22:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Rayna Greenberg?

  You're just wet, you're naked, it's fun.

• 22:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I asked, you know, I asked, which we usually don't talk about this stuff, but I just had to know. I asked my brother.

• 22:41Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 22:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, because they're so big.

• 22:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, because they're both tall.

• 22:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tall. You know, my brother's six, seven, Stephanie's six, two. Their shower is fine, but it's not as huge like yours. And he was like, yeah, but you know, we're not doing it just to shower together. I'm like, okay, that's enough, Matt. Glad to hear you guys are still getting it in. Our brothers do this sometimes. They take it too far.

• 23:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Arlen will just, he'll just tell me stuff.

• 23:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 23:06Rayna Greenberg?

  And I'm just like, whoa, I mean, I'm, good for you guys. They've been together for 15 years. It's insane.

• 23:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Two kids. I'm glad you guys are getting it in the shower. Okay, one more question about showering. I saw this also on TikTok. Do you face the wall or the water?

• 23:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I have a very fancy shower.

• 23:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 23:24Rayna Greenberg?

  You mean, do I face like the bat? Well, either way, there's a wall. Are you, are you, is your face toward the shower head?

• 23:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's talk about a regular shower. Maybe it's a square size. And is the water coming down on your back and you're facing the wall? Or are you facing the shower?

• 23:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Waterboarding yourself. Is that even a question? Do people do that? This is insane. I've.

• 23:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I didn't even know you could do that.

• 23:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  So the comments were like, I thought that was just in the movies. Like people were like, I thought that you only face the shower water in the movies.

• 23:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, so I like that shot in the movies where that where people's hair go from dry to wet. And I like watching it happen.

• 24:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  I face the water sometimes.

• 24:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Why?

• 24:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  I like let it run over my body. I don't know. And then I have to, if I wash my face, I have to face the water to wash, to rinse off my face.

• 24:11Rayna Greenberg?

  I'll face the water. But okay, here's.

• 24:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think I spin around a lot.

• 24:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, you know, see how my hair is like this? It's always like this. It's always brushed forward.

• 24:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 24:19Rayna Greenberg?

  So I face, it's hitting me in the back of my head. So it goes behind me, but also drips off my hair down my boobs and down my front.

• 24:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, everyone's got their own thing, but I thought this was a funny question. Is this a question where you ask a rich person, like apparently you? And you're like, do you face the wall or the water? And they're like, neither. Or they're like both. Like, it reminds me of when you ask like a huge celebrity window or aisle. And they're like, I don't fly like that.

• 24:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, you said that. And I was like, I don't understand the question.

• 24:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't fly like that.

• 24:50Rayna Greenberg?

  My shower, two sides of it are just totally glass. So I just, I face the glass.

• 24:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you have a fancy shower.

• 24:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I face the mirror. I face the glass so I can watch myself in the mirror.

• 24:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  You face the door.

• 25:00Rayna Greenberg?

  The glass door.

• 25:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I have a glass door.

• 25:02Rayna Greenberg?

  It's not a wall.

• 25:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 25:03Rayna Greenberg?

  So I face the glass so I can watch myself in the mirror.

• 25:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like, I don't want to, I don't know. Like, I think I move around in there. But let us know if you guys face the water or face the wall. But listen, if you face the water, you need to be proud. I do sometimes. It's not just for the movies. You can face the water. I think it's, it's a vibe.

• 25:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I think I'm also too short to face the water. Like, I'm not in an angle where like the water isn't hitting me directly in the face.

• 25:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, okay, this could be a height thing.

• 25:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't, I can't, I didn't even know you could do that. Honestly, like, I only turn around to wash my face.

• 25:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 25:35Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 25:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then, I mean, I don't wash my hair most days, so my hair isn't like a ponytail. And so if I'm, the water's on my back, it's kind of getting my hair a little bit more wet than it does if I'm facing the water.

• 25:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Waterboarding yourself.

• 25:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 25:47Rayna Greenberg?

  And I, yeah, I only do two hair showers a week if I can avoid it one.

• 25:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 25:51Rayna Greenberg?

  And I don't wash my legs.

• 25:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  All right. Well, thanks for indulging my shower question.

• 25:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I'll talk about shower stuff all day, every day. I love shower questions.

• 25:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 25:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you, what do you shave first? What do you wash first? We have a great episode about that.

• 26:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I've seen a discourse regarding white people not washing their legs.

• 26:07Rayna Greenberg?

  White people specifically?

• 26:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it's like, I think it's one of those, when I see it, if I see like comedians or podcasters or if the Shade Room posted, it's just like, white people are crazy. They're not washing their legs. They're, they're saying that, they're, they're saying that their legs are getting washed, but they're not actually taking the time to wash them.

• 26:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Listen, I do see what they're saying, because like, if you take your hand and just wipe it down your leg, I mean, all that stuff is running down your leg.

• 26:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 26:32Rayna Greenberg?

  But if I shave, I assume that's me washing my legs.

• 26:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Okay. Well, we are going to get into the topic. Let's just take a quick break and talk about our partners.

• 26:39Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. You guys have heard us talk about Aura Frames on the show before. It is my favorite gift, especially for a family member that you don't live near, or really anybody in your life. These are these digital frames. So what you're gonna do is you upload photos or videos to it, and you can like preload photos also. The frames themselves are really beautiful. They have several different colors, but they look really nice. And you can upload photos from anywhere. There's an app. My whole family's on these. So my brother lives in London, my parents live in Pittsburgh, I live here, obviously. And so these frames have been like such a game changer in terms of just like staying connected and sharing photos. And if you're like a last minute shopper like me, and you like have this feeling that like, you know, the shelves are a little empty, and I love to give people photos.

• 27:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Photos for the holidays.

• 27:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  These are so fun. They're in my parents' house, they're in my brother's house. We're gonna give one of these to my in-laws, Shashank's parents. We're gonna load a bunch of photos from the wedding on it.

• 27:31Rayna Greenberg?

  That's amazing.

• 27:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I just, it's such a perfect gift. And there's different sizes too. Like, actually, Matt, I think they have a smaller one downstairs, and then there was a big one in their bedroom. And you put videos on it. Like, it's so fun to just sit and watch it.

• 27:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I know. And they look Look really chic and I like, I would keep it in my house. Also, like you can really personalize it and like preload everything. So, once they just open it, it's there. And then we all share the app in my family. So, we're all like loading stuff onto it. You can leave comments in the app, which I thought was like, my dad just like leaving little comments all the time. It's very cute. And the box it comes in is really like beautiful. So, it's like there's a gift box included. The packaging looks really premium and high end. And so, this is a perfect gift for anybody in your life. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com and get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frame, named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code GGE at checkout. That's A U R A, auraframes.com promo code GGE. This sale is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So, order yours now and get it in time for the holidays.

• 28:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

• 28:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. And I feel like money is a hot topic, especially around this time of year.

• 28:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 28:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  With people spending on gifts and maybe trying to save and set goals for the new year. Rocket Money can help you set limits, track every purchase. So, no one gets left out of your budget and you stay within your budget. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. So, we've talked a lot about finding and canceling those unwanted subscriptions that you're just literally lighting money on fire of subscriptions you aren't using, but it's so much more than that. And we really love that it shows you all your expenses in one place, including those subscriptions you forgot about. The dashboard is super easy. It lays out your total financial picture, including your bill due dates and your paydays in a way that's super easy to digest. It can help you set a goal and save for that. It can analyze your accounts

• 29:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. And it will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. It scans your bills, finds opportunities to save, and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service. You don't have to. That's probably my favorite feature. And you can get alerts if your bills increase, if there's unusual activity in your accounts. It just gives you peace of mind, like what is going on with your money. So, Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 800 million in canceled subscriptions alone. There are 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium So you can cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/gge today. That's rocketmoney.com/gge. Rocketmoney.com/gge.

• 30:06Rayna Greenberg?

  And earlier we were talking about just like being around the house all day long. The thing that I am in all day long is the Skims Soft Lounge Sleep Set. I have it in three colors. I love Skims pajamas just in general so much and I love their whole like line. There's so many colors and patterns and they've really nailed it in terms of the fabric. It's so soft. The Soft Lounge Sleep Set, I have it in three colors. I have black, red, and green. I really started wearing pajamas to sleep because of this because they're just so comfy and soft and they just look so nice. I used to wake up here on my house and I just feel like so chic and they're so, I don't know, they're just comfortable.

• 30:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're such a good gift.

• 30:39Rayna Greenberg?

  They're the best gift.

• 30:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  I size up a little.

• 30:42Rayna Greenberg?

  You do?

• 30:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I always feel like I want, I cannot handle a pajama or lounge pant that is tight on my waist in any way.

• 30:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 30:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I do, I recommend. But you don't have to, but I do.

• 30:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Depends on how you want to wear it.

• 30:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  You do.

• 30:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I think I wear the small or an extra small. I'm not sure, but I'm also really short. But there's tons of gifts for everybody in your life. Kids, men, women. You can shop our favorite pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 31:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so today we are talking about spending the holidays with partners and family.

• 31:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Or not.

• 31:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or not. Or not.

• 31:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Or like me, not.

• 31:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I saw a lot of content on my TikTok scrolling over Thanksgiving about this and I saw a video of this girl crying because she was spending her first Thanksgiving with her partner's family and she missed her family. And I saw another one where there was this couple and they were so cute and they were like, they did their little hug and kiss moment and they were like, we're splitting up for Thanksgiving because neither of us wants to miss our families and that's what works for us. And the comments just always blow my mind. You know, like I feel like I want to like start this topic with like a mild rant because I just can't get over the type of person who was like offended by the way someone lives their life that has no impact on them. They think the way they live their life is the

• 32:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  right way and the other way is the wrong way and they comment about it publicly.

• 32:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, this phenomenon is so wild to me because there is a difference between right and wrong. You know, just a few things off the top, racism, abuse, violence, these things are wrong. I can tell you're wrong. I'm right and you're wrong. You're on the wrong side of history. You're wrong. But like, when we're talking about things like families and relationships and things that aren't causing any harm, it's just like choices people are making in their own life. And strangers on the internet are like, you are wrong. I find it mind blowing and I know people are projecting. People are projecting their life experience, their regrets. And sometimes it comes from a good place. It's not always meant to insult you, especially older people, or it's well intentioned.

• 33:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  But the judgment, I think this is the biggest thing I wanted to lead with is just like, there's so much judgment around this. And I think that the topic at first glance, it doesn't seem controversial, but I think it really triggers people. We're talking about family. We're talking about relationships, which can be messy. And so I just wanted to, you know, open with that.

• 33:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I think however anybody chooses to spend time with their family or not, comes from years, if not decades of experience with somebody and how you want to spend your time and your money and what you value and different generations feel different ways about it. And whether you're single or whether you're coupled, whether you have children, like there's so much judgment about how everybody chooses to spend time with family on the holidays.

• 33:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 33:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Or spend time with family at all. I mean, you're so right. People comment publicly about it, like, thank you for saying this. I could never. And people, it's like, well, good for you.

• 33:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you'll regret it. And how dare you not prioritize on one hand, your partner or on the other hand, your family. And it never ceases to blow my mind because I mean, I don't know, we're in 2025. You can not have a partner and be completely happy and fulfilled. You can live separately from your spouse. You can be long distance married. You can spend every holiday with them or not. And it's just crazy that strangers come in because they feel offended. And it's like, the thing I have been like screaming from the mountaintops forever is just like, People's choices are not an attack on the way you live your life.

• 34:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, and advice giving is so interesting to me because advice should be nuanced and it should be one size fits one. Everybody has different goals and life experiences and things that they want, and they live by that set of values. And these like, people that give advice that are like, you should do this. I'm like, but based on what? Based on your life experience? Sure. Racism, abuse, you know, mistreating people. Yeah, that's all bad. But like, we'll talk about it a little bit later, but there's been a lot of talk online about specifically Mel Robbins and Oprah having these posts and conversations about how you should not be estranged from family, and you should go out of your way to make sure that that never happens, and how important it is, and family over everything, and getting along with family over everything.

• 35:16Rayna Greenberg?

  And there's been a lot of both agreeing and disagreeing with them online. And so many people jumping in the comments being like, absolutely, you could never be estranged from family. And other people being like, ah, my family abused me.

• 35:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Have you met my family? Yeah.

• 35:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Ah, I'm traumatized by these people. This advice sucks.

• 35:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 35:33Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's not nuanced. And I do think it's very generational. I think that people like, a generation or two older than us would say like, always be with family, always be with your partner, this over everything. But that's just not the way of the world today.

• 35:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  But there's also a way to give advice in a, this is my experience and what I have found, because I think that we give advice. I think that we talk to a younger listener. I think people look up to us. I wish, you know, I had podcasts like hours when I was growing up and I was in my twenties even. And so it's not that. It's just like people's, it's the judgment and the projection and the tone, I guess. Because I think it's fine to be like, I was in your shoes once, and here was my experience. Who doesn't want that type of feedback? But I guess what I, what the thing for me is like, the, this, I'm right and you're wrong because of a way you're choosing to live your life. And it just is baffling.

• 36:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, the last person I'm gonna take advice from is somebody I feel is attacking me.

• 36:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right? Like, you're not, I think- That too. It's so crazy. Like some of the people that will DM us, I'm just like, do you know you're being so counterproductive? Like you're whatever your cause or whatever you're trying to get me on your side about, you are pushing me completely away from it. If this is the type of person that's on that side.

• 36:53Rayna Greenberg?

  If you're smarter than me, congrats. I hope you have a great life. I don't know what to tell you.

• 36:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And that's the thing like this, it's what you were saying. I love that because it's like really relevant right now with the Mel Robbins thing. And we've had her on the podcast. It was our top performing episode of the year on Spotify. We just found that out and she has helped a lot of people. It's just, I think that there needs to be some space for the nuance and space for we are all different and we have a completely different human experience.

• 37:24Rayna Greenberg?

  So Mel Robbins wrote an op and it's called, "Life is Too Short to Fight With Your Family." And to your point, yes, we've had her on the show. I think she has great advice. And if her advice helps you, that's fine. I don't have to also agree with every single thing that somebody says. But it the gist of it was basically that, that you should find a way to accept your family for who they are and get over it essentially and let them let their decisions be what they were and let them be who they are. And the life is too short to fight with the people in your life. And that's not really my life experience. To that, I would say life is too short to be made miserable by people that terrorize you, that make you feel emotionally unsafe, that make you feel attacked all the time. I think life is really long and we should spend it with people that make us feel

• 38:08Rayna Greenberg?

  good and happy and

• 38:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Accepted and you know.

• 38:12Rayna Greenberg?

  And I don't, you know, I think that people that have decided to not be around their family, that decision was probably the hardest decision they've ever made in their life. And they didn't come to it easily. And it took them years, if not decades to come to that. And how horrible to attack somebody on top of that for making a decision that was probably the hardest decision that they've ever made.

• 38:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Just to have some peace in their life. And I don't think those decisions are easy to come by. And it's, it's embarrassing and it's against societal norms sometimes, but I'm glad that we're talking about this more because it's becoming more the norm to say like, I don't need to spend my money and my time and my energy on people that make me feel unsafe, even if that is my parent.

• 38:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and the sentiment broadly is positive. It's like, it's your family, you know, like, you should try everything. I am fine with that, by the way, and I think, again, I like, I think of me in my late teens, early twenties, mid twenties even, just, you know, the immaturity and the rash decision making sometimes and just being more reactive, jumping to conclusions, all the things, you know, and sometimes you need a voice of someone who is older, more life experience, a professional, to be like, hey, maybe have you considered this? And I think that's fine. We all can use like, the help to walk us through our lives, but yeah, the, just these broad statements is just like, it's not taking into account, like, uh, but what about this? Or what about this? And the friends that I have that are

• 39:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  estranged, or just not seeing their families for holidays because of various reasons, and sometimes political and values and just the, the judgment and the way that they interact with their family members. I mean, I could cry. They have tried so hard. Like, they have been doing this for years. They have gone home for holidays and been traumatized. You're so right, in that it's like, no one, yes, I'm sure some people make these rash, snap decisions, but it's so difficult to come to these conclusions. This kills people inside, you know?

• 40:07Rayna Greenberg?

  So like, I didn't know if I was gonna talk about this today, but I am estranged from a family member, so I'm assuming you're talking about me.

• 40:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're estranged. My other friends are not estranged, but they are not doing holidays. That's why I'm saying, like, the spectrum. So when I, yeah, I was leading with you, and I'm thinking about other friends that are just like, I talked to my mom, but I'm not seeing her on Christmas. You know what I'm saying?

• 40:25Rayna Greenberg?

  And, you know, I didn't come to that decision lightly. I, every, every time somebody would say like, well, have you tried this? Yeah, I've tried that. I tried that for 30 years. I tried it. I tried it every day for 30 years. And life is long in the sense that, like, you can make a decision now that's, feels emotionally safe for you, and you could have conversations and change your mind, you know? I think unless somebody really abused you in a horrible way, which was not my life experience, you know, life is long and you can come back together, but like, people come to these decisions after so much pain and agony and trying literally everything in their power, every type of emotional negotiation that they can do. And I think that like, if you do come to the decision finally, that like, my inner peace means more to me than this. I've tried everything in the world and we just can't get there, then like, that's the hardest decision you will ever make, and

• 41:10Rayna Greenberg?

  it's brave, and you're allowed to feel like you're proud of it.

• 41:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and that's where there is this lack of empathy and compassion and understanding with some people on the internet. There's also like a lot of beautiful, like inspiring content and support on the internet.

• 41:30Rayna Greenberg?

  My experience has been that people have really supported me and been wonderful to me.

• 41:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, but it's just for someone to, I don't know, post a TikTok and if they want to, I mean, you know, it's personal, it's not for everybody to put, to say something about being estranged from a parent. And it's taken years and it's been so much pain and agony and this is the decision they're making. And for people in the comments to come in with no background or information and make judgments is so crazy to me.

• 41:54Rayna Greenberg?

  And listen, if your life experience leads you to think that that's the craziest thing in the world, then that's okay. That's how you should live your life. But people to judge a stranger like you have no idea how hard they tried to get through to somebody and find peace or find some resolution or just be able to like get along. Because also when you are estranged from a family member, it explodes throughout your entire family. It affects the other parent, affects your siblings, it affects their, affects their spouses and grandkids and whoever else. Like, no one comes to this decision like super lightly. And what I am really excited about and proud about is that like, you see so much of this being discussed today. And I think it is generational that we didn't think that that was okay. And they're saying more and more people are estranged from a family member. Something I've read in polls, like Gallup polls that said like, 28% of people

• 42:37Rayna Greenberg?

  are estranged from an immediate family member and reasons to think like, this has probably been more common than we think. It's just become less taboo to talk about it.

• 42:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And again, I come back to like people on the internet, like internet content matters. It helps people feel seen and I'm not alone. And it resonates with them when we talk about some of these tougher topics. And so that's why like, it's not nothing. And so it's like, that's why I just wish people could put something out there that may be helpful to someone else. And the people that don't live their life that way wouldn't jump down their throat. And I, you know, I saw this, this is kind of irrelevant, but you know, I just, I want to like send some love to the internet. I saw this woman and she was posting, she was like eating Thanksgiving dinner. And she said, I live far away from my family and I don't have any friends, but Thanksgiving is my favorite meal. And so every year I cook it. And she had this like amazing.

• 43:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Amazing plate of food and she's just sitting there eating and the comments I were just I live in Orlando. Come over next year. We got you just the whole comment section thousands pictures. You believe pictures on Tik Tok just like please join us next year. I'm the same boat. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't let's be friends. Let's be each other's family. Like, there is so much good out there.

• 43:49Rayna Greenberg?

  There is, and there's so much more community in this life experience than there used to be. I mean, I think so many people are just more willing to say like, I chose to be estranged with a family member. And I chose to protect my peace from these people and like, that's okay. There's no shame in it. And I like that we're normalizing like, you don't have to be terrorized by anybody. I don't care who it is. Like, if you feel like these boundaries have been crossed, I don't care who it is, your sibling, your parent. You don't have to be in those environments and we're finally saying like, that's okay. And people are talking about it and I'm glad that that is becoming more normal because I think in the older generations, it has always been like, who's too short? It's your fucking family. Get over it. But like, people who have chosen to be estranged from a family member, not go home for the holidays, like their past, just get over it.

• 44:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And of course, there's a situation of someone who overreacted and now they've dug their heels in and they are stubborn. They should get over it. That's not you. That's not any of my friends. Everybody I've known that is at any level of estranged with their family has tried and tried and tried and has been very painful. But I know there's people out there that probably could tell us their story and I'd be like, you've got to get over that. Fuck, that's why you're still not talking to your mom. Come on. So there's that. And, you know, this is not actually the road we thought we were going to go down today, but we did do it. And I do, I do think it's a good place to start and say that as we get into this conversation about spending holidays with your partner, their family, your family, I am coming at it from a place that I really want to be with my family. My family is the most important thing to me. I obviously did not get married until 42.

• 45:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  I understand my husband is my family now. Like, I get it, but I'm coming at it and my parents are aging and I have nephews and holidays with my family are really important to me. And I have never in my 41 Christmases not woken up at my parents' house and spent Christmas morning.

• 45:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  With them. I've done some Thanksgivings other places, but like that means the world to me and it means the world to me because not to get too dark, but how many more do we have left? And these things matter and I have never been someone that my partner was going to be my whole life. And he is my priority and we prioritize each other. We are husband and wife, but family is also my priority. And that is where I'm coming from. And I understand some people don't have that and they would rather be with someone else's family or whatever they got going on. And so that's where I come back to like, when I speak about my opinions and the way that I live my life, I'm coming at it from that life experience.

• 46:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it's good to say that, like I have a different lens than other people. It would be inconceivable to you to not go home to be with your family.

• 46:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, it would be inconceivable to me to not spend Christmas with your family. I think I've, I, this is going to be my ninth Christmas with your family. And I have thought about this for so long. Like if I had a partner that insisted that I go be with their family.

• 46:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 46:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Explaining to them that I had needed to be with your family instead. But yeah, I mean, I think anybody's allowed to come at this from their own like lens and life experience and like, yeah, I'm a little more lucid that because I live across the country, but my brother lives in London. It's understandable if I don't want to go there. And Pittsburgh, I went to Pittsburgh to see my dad after I went to London. Like I'm fine to be flexible and go to other people's families. I've done, I've done this and that. I'm also Jewish, so Christmas doesn't mean anything to me. Like I am lucky that like I can demand Thanksgiving with my family and I can give somebody Christmas. You know, I don't really have to negotiate like that.

• 47:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And I mean, I really do think flexibility is important. And I think clearly, I think in just in general, overall, young people are more flexible than older people, parents, older parents, grandparents. And so I like to be flexible. We're, we're, we've moved things around and what we've traditionally done with Matt and the kids and we're, we're open, but we're together. And I want to also see Shajong's family, you know, I, what we have done this year was I went there the day after Thanksgiving. We had a Thanksgiving dinner on Friday and so I went to Boston for, you know, Thanksgiving and spent time with his family. He's gonna come to Delaware for Christmas before Christmas and he'll be with us like for days,

• 47:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  you know, leading up to it and doing holiday stuff with us. And he may or may not be there on the 24th. We haven't really like totally decided yet. So that's kind of how we've done it. Like year one, I mean, because we'll get into it and we'll get into the polls that we did and the way that people feel. I mean, 2023, I knew I was gonna marry him by Christmas time. He was my person and I knew that. But we've been together for six, seven months. We did our own thing. I think we were at the beach the weekend before Christmas. I don't think we did anything for Thanksgiving. Like I was like, we don't need to do this yet.

• 48:22Rayna Greenberg?

  But also you also come from it from a point of view of like, you like his family.

• 48:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 48:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Validated by them. You enjoy them. You're not, you're politically aligned with them. Like all these reasons that a lot of people don't want to go to their partner's family either. Like the mom is fucking rude to me.

• 48:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 48:37Rayna Greenberg?

  We don't align religious wise, politically. I don't want to sit with these MAGA people and just be attacked. Like, I think this like, you know, obviously, politics comes up a lot. And it's not that like, you can't sit at dinner with somebody that has different political beliefs than you. But like, people that question your values for an entire weekend. I don't know that I don't, you and I, we live across the country from our families. It's a lot of travel. It's a lot of money. I mean, so many people were like this, I can't afford to do all this and be made miserable.

• 49:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Oh, I love that you said that. So, I mean, the tea, the like spoiler alert of the episode is you don't need to be with your partner every major holiday if that doesn't work for you too. And it says, it means nothing about your relationship. I am talking about people without kids. I think kids get in the mix and kids kind of dominate everything. You gotta do shit for the kids. You gotta be together for the kids.

• 49:26Rayna Greenberg?

  My sister-in-law knows she holds all the cards.

• 49:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly. Christmas, like, so I think we're just leaving kids out of this because we can't speak on it. And so this is more couples without kids. But you can split up. It's not like a red flag for the relationship. If you want to be with his, you want to do some together, do not together. You know, what if one person's family has a big summer vacation? You do that. You spend, there's other times to see them. But if you really are set on, I want to be with my partner every holiday, every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, and we will figure out the family, that's okay too. But either way is fine. It doesn't say anything about the strength of the relationship.

• 50:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I don't think you should be crying or sad, missing your family so you can be with your partner's family. It doesn't, it doesn't sit right with me.

• 50:17Rayna Greenberg?

  I agree. I think as we, listen, time off is hard to come by and money is hard to come by. And like, I don't know, I, I know that we should do things for other people and make concessions for the people that we love. And if somebody says like, this is the most important thing in the world to me, then fine, you should make concessions.

• 50:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, of course.

• 50:33Rayna Greenberg?

  If I only have a week or two off a year and I've limited funds to spend it a way that I don't want to spend it, it feels like so awful to me. This has now cost me money.

• 50:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Rayna Greenberg?

  This is my hard earned time. I'm going to be made miserable. Why? To do you a favor? I'm, listen, that's what love is and companionship, but like, I don't know. I think holidays are supposed to be spent happy as much as possible.

• 50:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And we'll get into it. And there's plenty of couples that have opted out of family altogether. And that's okay, too. You know, like I just, I am not in the majority. We will reveal the poll results, but it can be a little bit, bit of an unpopular opinion to not have your long-term romantic partner or spouse be above everyone and they're on this pedestal and their priority level is so much higher than the family you've been with your whole life or your, your best friends. And again, I can't stress enough, it's, if that's how you live your life, that's okay, you know? But to me, it's by family, it's, so many people are so important. And

• 51:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  so if we can work it out so everyone's happy. And like I said, I, I really don't want to be without my family on, on a Christmas morning ever. And if Shashank has that type of tradition with his family and he's like, I never don't want to be with my family on a Christmas Eve, I would a hundred percent respect that. And if we can work it out when we can, then to, for us to both be at both, we will. But that's just how I want to live and be let live.

• 52:07Rayna Greenberg?

  That's what works for you guys.

• 52:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 52:08Rayna Greenberg?

  That's the compromise that works for you. You also like live together, you're together every day. So it's like, okay to spend those times apart.

• 52:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's the thing too. Like, we're together all the time. And we live across the country from our family now. Like, I don't know. Like, it just depends on how much weight you place on these things. Like, Christmas for my mom and my family is so important. So if he and I don't feel like it's like, it's like more important to them, I guess. That's my whole thing. You know, I think that everybody's got their thing. I think that it's like, well, we always go to this place every summer as a family. And this is the biggest thing our family does, and we really like you to be there. It's like, you should try to make it work then.

• 52:45Rayna Greenberg?

  You should.

• 52:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  With your partner.

• 52:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel really lucky that, like, our families, so my sister-in-law's family is from Pittsburgh also. And so.

• 52:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 52:52Rayna Greenberg?

  But our family is super far from my mom and dad and my cousin Casey, whose house we go to for Thanksgiving a lot, lives far from them. And so everybody's pretty understanding, but like, Arlen and I will be in the car for Thanksgiving sometimes for three hours a night to spend an hour and a half at each place.

• 53:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 53:10Rayna Greenberg?

  And we never settle.

• 53:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 53:12Rayna Greenberg?

  And like, people are pretty understanding of whatever we want to do. And we've, I mean, now that he has a kid, it's different. But like, we just bop around trying to make everybody happy. My sister-in-law will just be at her parents' house, just chilling. Like, my family's just understanding that, like, they'll get a little bit of us.

• 53:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 53:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Some of the time, but like, not everybody's like that. And some people's family would be really insulted if their child's significant other didn't come home for the holidays.

• 53:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and again, if you are like, we have like a four Christmases type situation, and Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day is hell, but that's what makes our families happy and we suck it up, that's also okay. Like, sometimes we do things that aren't perfect or that we don't really want to for the sake of others, that's okay too. Like, we'll talk about this on a future episode of like, the whole, like, how we've gone too far with like, protecting our peace and our boundaries. You know, sometimes you have to, I was just talking to my brother, like, how we're gonna work out this year with the boys and all this stuff. And just, nothing's easy with two little boys. They still nap and they go to bed early. Like, nothing is the way it used to be before they came along. Obviously, life is better with them in it.

• 54:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  But it's like, we're trying to figure out, like, some things are a little more stressful for him. And it's a lot more stressful for him and Steph. And like, that's just the nature of it, and everyone needs to. Kitchen and sometimes things are not like perfect and smooth, but they're worth it. And that's for you to decide.

• 54:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I like that you said that. And yeah, I think about those nights that Arlen and I have been in the car going to my cousin Casey's

• 54:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's annoying.

• 54:37Rayna Greenberg?

  And my mom's and Adriana's family. And it's like, we're just in the car. We can't drink. Like we're just in the car, these long drive. We do like a for Christmases thing, but like, that's what we want to do in order to like, have a little bit of time with everybody. It's really important for us. We're not home that often. So like, that's what we do. Is it the most fun night of my life? No.

• 54:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 54:56Rayna Greenberg?

  But I get to be with everybody and that's nice.

• 54:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly. And so I think if you're also navigating a situation like that with your partner, it should always be you and your partner against the problem. The problem being like, we gotta do all this shit and it's stressful. Like your family's not a problem. Well, they might be, but instead of you guys against each other and just like, I think that's the main thing. And I think that's comes up when we talk about difficult family members too. And it's just like, it's, you know, I'm not a big us against the world couple, you know? But if you are dealing with issues with family members or logistics, like make sure you do feel like you and your partner on a team about it, at least.

• 55:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Man, that is so rough to like, feel like your partner doesn't like back you up.

• 55:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 55:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Most of my friends like that are a great, solid like couple are like, they're aligned.

• 55:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're a team.

• 55:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, they're aligned. The other person's crazy, not them.

• 55:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And you can make it a joke. I mean, I was just with a friend and her mother-in-law is staying with her and her husband for a while. And she's old school. She's super passive aggressive. She's superstitious. So it's just a lot of comments. And like, it's constant. And I was like, I would have to turn this into a game. I would have to be like, I know she's what she's gonna say next. And I want to be right about it. Like, and I'm like, are you and your husband aligned? He's like, yes. Like, he, he knows she's crazy too. And I'm like, that's all you need. I can deal with a lot if from my partner's family, if he is in agreement with me. And I luckily don't have any of that, but I think I could, I think I could let things from a.

• 56:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Crazy mother-in-law or sister-in-law roll off my back if he had my back and we could make fun of it together and they could become almost like a character in that way.

• 56:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, we have friends that are married and she kind of gets into it with his sister.

• 56:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 56:37Rayna Greenberg?

  But like she knows that he's aligned with her and the mom is aligned with her. So she's like, I could deal with this for a couple of days.

• 56:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 56:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Cause everyone's on my side about this and it does almost become like funny.

• 56:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, make it, try to make it funny.

• 56:49Rayna Greenberg?

  You're just like, this person really is just gonna like poke at me.

• 56:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, if you could just try to make it funny, make it a bit.

• 56:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Once you both realize together that the other person is terrible, it is kind of funny.

• 57:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Once you realize their mom is terrible, okay. Let's just talk about our remaining partners and we'll stop blue balling you guys on these polls.

• 57:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 57:07Ashley Hesseltine?

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• 57:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  What did you do for your whatever milestone birthday? What were your favorite toys as a child? What was your first job? What are you most proud of? Travel, things like that. And they will respond to that email with a story, super, super easy. If our dads can do it, anyone can do it. And they can either write a story or they can record it over the phone for Story Worth to transcribe. They just, they cannot make it easy enough for these family members. It's perfect even for your least tech savvy relative. And then they're gonna compile the stories and the photos into this beautiful keepsake hardcover book. Photos are printed in vibrant color. It is such a treasure for your loved ones and you. You'll be able to share it, revisit it, print as many copies as you want. You want a copy of your siblings, your cousins. And this year they added a bunch of new features to make storytelling even easier with personal Questions and Magic Editor. Their magic layout and new book designs make finished

• 58:37Ashley Hesseltine?

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• 59:17Rayna Greenberg?

  She's so thoughtful.

• 59:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  She's so thoughtful. She wants to know more about us.

• 59:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Great idea.

• 59:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, okay.

• 59:22Rayna Greenberg?

  You say memoir is funny. You say memoirs.

• 59:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Memoir. What do you do, memoir?

• 59:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Memoir. I don't, I feel weird. I feel like I'm taking myself too seriously if I say memoir.

• 59:33Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't have to do it in between, between memoir and memoir.

• 59:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Memoir. How do you say February?

• 59:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Memoir. February. How do you, how do you say it?

• 59:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  I try to say it quick. Because it's spelled February.

• 59:47Rayna Greenberg?

  No, no, you don't pronounce that to the R.

• 59:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I almost have a U in there, February.

• 59:51Rayna Greenberg?

  February. Yeah, I see you.

• 59:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 59:53Rayna Greenberg?

  February.

• 59:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  February, okay. Anyway, Story Worth Memoirs.

• 1:00:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Stop.

• 1:00:03Rayna Greenberg?

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• 1:00:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:00:07Rayna Greenberg?

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• 1:00:51Rayna Greenberg?

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• 1:01:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so we did a couple polls on our Instagram. 20,000 people responded.

• 1:01:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you know how funny it is to me? I see so many like stats and studies, studies and surveys and I'm always like based on how many people. This is a big claim to make. X amount of people do this thing and it's always a thousand people.

• 1:01:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, which a lot of those are considered legitimate. If it's, I don't know. I don't know what it could, how many people it needs to be to be considered.

• 1:01:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, ours is 20,000.

• 1:01:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, 20,000. Okay. So we asked, when in a relationship do you think your partner should spend holidays with your family and vice versa? Forty-four percent said, once we're in a committed relationship, under a year.

• 1:02:12Rayna Greenberg?

  So you know, we didn't isolate for, but like, do you live in the same city as your partner?

• 1:02:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Rayna Greenberg?

  That's different to me.

• 1:02:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it is. It's like, let's say we've been together six months. That's how I thought about it because that was also my experience. So six months, seven months, we'd been together since May. We were very committed, very much in love, very much saw a future together. And I, I didn't feel like that was the year for us to be making changes. But again, I'm in the minority on this and you're, you're so right.

• 1:02:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Cities, you're a long distance.

• 1:02:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're that. I mean, our families are still like close enough, you know, with Boston and Delaware, but 44% said, once we're in a committed relationship. After one year, 22%, two plus years, 18%.

• 1:02:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then my people, 16%, not until we're married. And maybe not even then.

• 1:02:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Maybe even, maybe even less than that, once we have kids. You know, like, I think once you have kids, you do call the shots.

• 1:03:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, yeah, you do. If you are the first people in a family to have kids, congratulations.

• 1:03:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Lock the bank.

• 1:03:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, and then we asked, do you think long-term couples, married couples, to me, this is like, you've been together years, everyone knows you're together, like, traditionally you'd be married, but maybe you're deciding not to get married, whatever reason, whatever you've got going on. But years-long married or married couples should spend all the major holidays together. Do you think long-term couples, married couples should spend all the major holidays together? 70% said yes, that should be your top priority. 30% said no, you can be apart with your own family sometimes. And, you know, I'm coming at this from a, my family is so important to me, and, you know, we've talked about his family coming to the farm, or being all together at some point too, which we would host, like, whatever it is, but I think a lot of this is people not wanting

• 1:03:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  to be with their in-laws, and you linked this study that said, one in four people dread going to their in-laws for the holidays. Like, that's the thing I feel for the most. Like, you feeling like you need to be with your partner's family and you don't like them.

• 1:04:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's a nightmare.

• 1:04:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, I know.

• 1:04:10Rayna Greenberg?

  To feel like, I, again, I can't stop thinking about, like, how little time people have off, and how little money people have, and I'm now gonna spend both of those things with people that aren't nice to me, don't make me feel comfortable, don't include me, they're gonna make me do a turkey trot I don't wanna do.

• 1:04:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Play pranks on you.

• 1:04:26Rayna Greenberg?

  And I guess it depends, like, who, so, like, my longest relationship was almost four years. We were with his family all the time, and my family lived out of town. So, like, right. I don't think it ever came up, we lived together almost the entire four years we were together, and it never came up one time that I was gonna spend holidays with this family. Like, I saw his family all the time, they lived near us, of course I was leaving town to go be with my family, and I wasn't gonna make him leave town.

• 1:04:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, there are so many different situations. I feel for people who, they're across the country from their families, or their families are across the country, like, there's no way they can do both. Like, we are lucky enough to try to do both. With a one hour flight, you know, still gotta get to the airport, but like, we can make it work. Where we couldn't if if one family was in the west coast and one was on the east coast. So I feel for people in any of that situation too. So. We asked then, long term or married couples, how do you coordinate the holidays with your family?

• 1:05:19Rayna Greenberg?

  We had hundreds of answers. It all sort of boiled down to pretty much the same stuff. We we alternate who gets Thanksgiving, who gets Christmas. We alternate both of those things every other year. So like we we oscillate like this family gets us Thanksgiving this year and they get us Christmas next year. I mean, that was pretty much everybody except for if you have children, people come to you. Some people do the four Christmases thing. Some people just do not, we're not coming to anybody.

• 1:05:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're not seeing our family. We do our own thing without our families and we do our own thing with our own families, just completely split up and that's okay. I like this one right now. First come, first serve. Whoever makes the plan first gets us. That's diabolical. That feels like the the parents are gonna be fighting and that they're like, it's July. They're like, hey, we just wanted to check in.

• 1:06:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Like what what is the statute of limitations on being able to ask me like, is it this Christmas?

• 1:06:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is it January 1st?

• 1:06:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Can you ask me for next Christmas at this Christmas? Like, is it just like backseat rules? Like whoever whoever calls shotgun first? You know what I did not see at all? I made a note of this, but I didn't see it all as combining families. I almost saw no percentage. So like, that's the home I grew up in. Like, my parents split up when I was like four, but like. My mom always made sure to have her family and my dad's entire family over. Uncles, aunts, kids, everybody. But everybody lived in Pittsburgh.

• 1:06:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I was trying to remember. I I there were definitely Christmases and probably Thanksgiving. I don't know. I can't I can't really remember when I was a kid. But where both sets of grandparents were there. Because my mom's mom, and then she remarried. I never knew my mom's dad would come from Pittsburgh area. And then my. Dad's parents lived close by. So I definitely remember they were all there. Everybody would come to us because the the kids.

• 1:07:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh huh. And also somebody has to be like willing to host all of that. Yeah, like my mom made it her job, honestly, my entire life to make sure everybody was included, even my dad's family and make sure like people were there. But I did not, I almost did not see this at all. The people were like, we just get our whole family together.

• 1:07:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I know. I mean, that's what we're talking about for next year because we have the space on the farm. And we'll figure out where you're going to be. You might be in the bonus room if we do it next year, which is nicer. And so we've talked about having like Shashank's whole family. Like we have that, that space and it'd be so fun. And now that we know how well our parents get along and such a funny thing that we would do that. That's not us hosting. That's not them coming to our house. That's his parents coming to my parents' house. I, I just think it would be lovely.

• 1:07:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it'd be so much fun. I hope his sister comes. I mean, I just like everybody.

• 1:07:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that'd be a lot of fun. You don't see this a lot.

• 1:07:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that's asking a lot of people to be mobile, but you don't see it a lot.

• 1:08:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I like that they can stay, not at a hotel is why I, why I like the idea. Like it's not come to Delaware and get, stay at the Holiday Inn, you know? So.

• 1:08:13Rayna Greenberg?

  I really want to do it.

• 1:08:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then we asked for anyone, single or coupled, if you're not spending the holidays with your family, why? And what are you doing instead?

• 1:08:22Rayna Greenberg?

  We saw so many people just say like, I, either I can't swing it. I can't, I don't have the time. So many of our audience, and we just love you guys so much, our flight attendants, people in the hospitality industry, servers, nurses, tons of people in the medical industry that just, they work. So they can't do it. So many of them are just like working and making money. So many people just said, I'm making my own traditions and I'm choosing my own piece essentially.

• 1:08:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Lot of trips, a lot of people just like take trips, go somewhere warm. We saw jazz bars, Vegas, pop up holiday bars. Like so many things instead of that, being with our chosen family, their friends, so many people just like do stuff with friends. I, again, like I, we were talking about it earlier. I love that, like this is more normalized and people are saying to their friends, like, can you adopt me for these holidays? The holidays are such a beautiful time to adopt somebody who like doesn't have somebody to go home to. And I've been going to friends' houses for Christmas since I was like 12.

• 1:09:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:14Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's, people have always included me and invited me. It's always been so nice. But I like that actually I'm, what I, what am I doing for the holiday? Actually enjoying the holiday, being at home with my husband and my friends.

• 1:09:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, and there's that too. And that's why I just like, I always come back to whatever works for you and how you feel about your family. I know a couple and they are not crazy about both of their families and they have made their own Christmas tradition and they still see their families throughout the year. They're not estranged, but they have chosen to prioritize that holiday, just the two of them and they've traveled and they really enjoy that. And then it's like, I don't know, then we'll maybe go see our family in the spring or something like that. It's just like totally fine.

• 1:09:54Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that's probably a lot of people's experience. I don't think you have to be like estranged from a family member. I think, you know, that's, that's a big leap from just like, we just don't really need to go there. And when we posted this, one of my girlfriends who was in Portland texted me and she was like, my husband and I, like, we speak to our family. It's just not, not a ton and I want to enjoy my time and I want to just like be at home with him. And we tell them if they want to come here, they can for like a day or two, but like, that's all we're offering. And I think that's totally fine.

• 1:10:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I mean, this article you linked, I mean, there's just so many different stats here. Thirty-nine percent of Americans feel relationships complicate holidays. It does. And 10% have cried about having to spend the holidays with their in-laws. I'm sure it's like more than that. One in three say holiday plans cause tensions with their families. There's all these types of things and it's really just up to you. And I think it's important to consider other people's feelings. I think it's important to consider your aging parents if you have relationships with them and nephews and nieces and all of that. But if it's too much, that's okay, too.

• 1:10:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, listen, I don't want to run myself rag and fly 12 hours to London to see my brother and the baby and then I had to fly back through Pittsburgh. I could have gone to Paris instead. Like, I, I'm glad I did all those things. It was an inconvenience. It cost a ton of money, but I'm glad I did it.

• 1:11:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Rayna Greenberg?

  I got to see my nephew and spend time with him and I got to be with my dad. And yeah, as my parent, my dad's almost 80. Like, I don't know how many more years I have left with him. Like, I don't regret the aggravation.

• 1:11:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, there's, it's annoying. Like, Shashank and I have just, there's been these conversations where they're just annoying, like, figuring out when he's, when he can get off work and come and that I, how we meet up at the wherever and come to, it's just cars and flights and where, what night is this and that. It's, it is annoying. But it's like, so is being an adult. It's just one of those things where it's like, yeah, but we, we're not going to regret it. We always want to be with our families and this means a lot. And it's just, sometimes it's like, you gotta do it. But we're going to talk about this with like friendships in a few weeks. We're going to do an episode on this. And it's like, there is certainly a breaking point. Everyone has a breaking point, but sometimes you just do shit that's not perfect and you don't really want to do and it's annoying.

• 1:12:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Like it meant, my dad, it meant so much to him that I did that. And I said to you, I was like, I want to go to Paris this weekend. And you're like, I think your dad would really like if you come. And like, he just was so touched. I only went for like, two days, but like, just to be with him. And I missed Thanksgiving and we just, we made dinner ourselves. I got to be with Uncle John and Aunt Sherry and my cousin Casey.

• 1:12:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Rayna Greenberg?

  He was a hassle. It cost me a fortune, but I'm so glad that I did it. And that's different than an article that's like, just get over it. Go home and be with your family. You don't have to get over anything if you don't want to go home and be with your family.

• 1:12:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, that's the thing. Like you look back on it and you're like, it was annoying and inconvenient, but I had, I had made good memories. And what I would not be willing to do is be inconvenienced and annoyed to be around a bunch of Magas.

• 1:12:49Rayna Greenberg?

  This is at least type two fun for me. When I think about it, I enjoy it.

• 1:12:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  And there's totally different types of families. Super fun, high energy families, way more boring families. But if like, our values don't align and you make me uncomfortable and I feel attacked in any way, no, I'm not going. So that's when you should protect your peace.

• 1:13:07Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't have to spend your time with people that make you feel like that.

• 1:13:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:13:10Rayna Greenberg?

  And I, that's not to say that these conversations are easy. Those conversations are uncomfortable. And then your siblings start jumping in and attacking you. Like, I read this very long, I just have been like, looking into people being strange in their families, not going home. And I read this very long article that I can't remember where it was from. So this isn't that helpful, but this girl sort of talked about this uncoupling from her very religious, very Maga family. And it took many, many years. And the siblings on the group chat were shaming her and everyone's jumping in with an opinion. And it is hard to untangle yourself from that because it does feel like the path of least resistance to just do what everybody wants. But like, so I'm not saying these conversations are easy. They are hard.

• 1:13:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And again, I go back to like, maybe the Thanksgiving table is not the thing you want to do with your Maga family, but you feel better in a different type setting. You know, like if It's just like, we have had a blow up at the fucking Thanksgiving table for the past however many 10 years. Like, I will see you guys in the summer for some, I don't know, you know?

• 1:14:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Expectations are so high. And so it just, it leads you to like, the tension is so high. So if, if maybe like, the alternative is like, we'll come home in a couple of months. When there isn't this expectation of this specific dinner and these, these specific drinks and gifts and, you know?

• 1:14:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, let's do some stories from you guys. So we asked for hilarious, embarrassing, and/or nightmare stories from the holidays.

• 1:14:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, so this first one is wedding photos. I, this is so good. This is Ashley Coaden.

• 1:14:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:14:45Rayna Greenberg?

  I was just at my mother-in-law's for Thanksgiving. She never has food when we go, even though we make an eight-hour drive across several states to see her for an hour or two. Diabolical, I know, but the things we do for love. Side note, he does have plenty of family and friends in the area, blah, blah, okay. So she says, they, they drive and they do see other people. Okay. As if that's not bad enough, this year I noticed that she had not one, not two, but six photos printed and framed of our wedding, and I am not in a single photo.

• 1:15:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  The bride?

• 1:15:14Rayna Greenberg?

  How? Ashley, is there a single photo from your wedding you're not in?

• 1:15:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:19Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 1:15:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  There are family, yes, there are plenty, but like, you'd be, you'd have to seek them out.

• 1:15:25Rayna Greenberg?

  There might be six from the whole weekend. That's crazy to me. Do you know how hard it is to find any photo she says that I'm not in? And she managed to find six of them. My husband said, we know she's crazy. Don't read too much into it.

• 1:15:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's a keeper.

• 1:15:38Rayna Greenberg?

  He's gaslighting her. Don't read too much. I hate that.

• 1:15:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, you don't like it.

• 1:15:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Don't read too much.

• 1:15:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't, but we all know she's crazy. It's not personal, is what he's saying.

• 1:15:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, okay. So you're saying she was hangry because the mother, the mother-in-law doesn't have any food there. She's blind with rage. We live far enough away that I only see her once a year, blah, blah. I mean, that's hysterical.

• 1:15:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so intentional.

• 1:16:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, yes, I understand you get beautiful professional photos with your family and the bride doesn't have to be in all of them. If you want like you and your kid or you and their siblings, but six?

• 1:16:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. Okay. The language, don't read too much into it. It's, I know what he means. She is crazy. She did do that on purpose. Please don't let it get to you.

• 1:16:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I see what you mean.

• 1:16:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  I hope he meant that because yes, that bitch did it on purpose. Yes, she did. This wasn't an accident.

• 1:16:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Six!

• 1:16:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  The wedding is about two people. It's about the bride and the groom to do six photos with one of those people.

• 1:16:42Rayna Greenberg?

  One of them, the bride should be in one.

• 1:16:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  One, yeah.

• 1:16:45Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 1:16:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay. The next one, naked grandmother. The first Christmas after my husband and I were married, my whole side of the family, including my brother's new girlfriend, were all at my grandparents for Christmas dinner. My grandfather wanted to show everyone pictures from his and my grandmother's latest trip. They're avid travelers. He plugged his laptop into the TV and selected a folder named Egypt. This was not where their latest trip was. To everyone's shock and horror, a slideshow of my naked grandmother started playing on the TV. Many of us screamed and my brother may have cried.

• 1:17:19Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, there's a full bush too.

• 1:17:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  The best part, a full gray bush. The best part, they were recent pictures. They could have been taken the day before. On the couch, we were sitting on the same Christmas tree in the background. 10 years later.

• 1:17:32Rayna Greenberg?

  That couch?

• 1:17:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wait, oh my God. So these were recent photos? I thought they were-

• 1:17:36Rayna Greenberg?

  From the couch they were sitting on with the Christmas tree in the background?

• 1:17:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  He just took these?

• 1:17:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Like yesterday.

• 1:17:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  And titled it Egypt?

• 1:17:42Rayna Greenberg?

  He's like, no one's gonna look at this.

• 1:17:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  No one's gonna know?

• 1:17:44Rayna Greenberg?

  You know what you should have titled it? We're naked in this.

• 1:17:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Grandma Puss.

• 1:17:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I love to see it. Okay. I love that these old people are still getting it in, taking nudes of each other. He was just like, get on the couch. I'm gonna take some photos of you. He was taking her nudes.

• 1:17:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  It is like high level kinky for grandparents. Like, I want to know what else they're into.

• 1:18:06Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, she didn't take nudes of herself and send them to him. He was the photographer.

• 1:18:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love this. That's couple goals.

• 1:18:13Rayna Greenberg?

  This family sounds fun.

• 1:18:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, 10 years later, we still talk about that Christmas.

• 1:18:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I went to a first fancy holiday dinner, white tablecloth, everything in the city where my boyfriend at the time's family. So that was her boyfriend at the time. She wrote that weird.

• 1:18:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:26Rayna Greenberg?

  When I went to the bathroom, I came back and it looked like they were all gone and had ditched me. So they're at a restaurant, just so you guys understand this.

• 1:18:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  White tablecloth, like fancy restaurant.

• 1:18:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Fancy white tablecloth. So she comes back, no one's at the table. But it turns out they were actually hiding under the table, all five of them, parents included. Have you ever gotten the ick from an entire family all at once?

• 1:18:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, we just talked about prank families.

• 1:18:51Rayna Greenberg?

  But this is a prank. That's okay. It's okay. It would give me the ick about everybody.

• 1:18:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  And what were you guys doing under the table? Like, you're so close, like five grown adults under a table. I'm like nose to nose with my brother. No.

• 1:19:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, my family's little, but you're my family. Five of you could fit under a table. You're so tall.

• 1:19:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:19:11Rayna Greenberg?

  That is crazy.

• 1:19:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I, I need to see that table. You're right. I need to know the diameter of that table.

• 1:19:18Rayna Greenberg?

  White tablecloth.

• 1:19:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're under the, it's just like, again, this is like low level prank. And it's a funny thing to, for whoever was like, you guys see this tablecloth? You bet we could all get under here. I don't know. It's funny to me. I, I really don't hate it. It's like an ideal prank.

• 1:19:37Rayna Greenberg?

  It is pretty funny. She comes back to the table and no one's there.

• 1:19:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  No one's there. And they're like, gotcha.

• 1:19:43Rayna Greenberg?

  The dad, the old dad's just on the ground.

• 1:19:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 1:19:46Rayna Greenberg?

  But your dad, okay, do you think your family would do it?

• 1:19:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 1:19:48Rayna Greenberg?

  You and I don't have silly families.

• 1:19:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, they're, it's corny.

• 1:19:52Rayna Greenberg?

  It's corny.

• 1:19:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I'll take a corny family over like any mean passive aggressive family all day. Like, this is like a dad joke family, you know?

• 1:20:03Rayna Greenberg?

  It does feel honestly kind of wholesome.

• 1:20:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. I don't hate it.

• 1:20:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, you know what?

• 1:20:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel like Ryan's family.

• 1:20:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like it's a corny, cute family.

• 1:20:14Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, I take with the part about the egg. It is just like wholesome.

• 1:20:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, the last one, Christmas with the in-laws. She writes, "These are ex-in-laws and Christmas wasn't even the worst of it from my ex-mother-in-law, but I remember the first Christmas I spent with them. There were no children, just adults. The gifts were all set up around the living room by person. Everyone opened their gifts at the same time, except his mom. The first huh moment that day was she got me size extra small pajamas. Ladies, at the time, I was nearly 200 pounds heavier than I am now."

• 1:20:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Good for you.

• 1:20:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  So it's not like that bitch was ballparking and came close.

• 1:20:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, congrats on losing 200 pounds. Holy shit.

• 1:20:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, right. So if she lost 200 pounds, yeah, it's like incredible, but she was at least 300 pounds. Extra small. My Skims pajamas are medium.

• 1:21:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Needless to say, every Christmas after that, I gifted her a salad spinner. LOL, she had a cupboard full by the time we divorced.

• 1:21:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, this is the crazy part of the email.

• 1:21:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  So when everyone was finished opening, she got out of her seat, sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor and made everyone gather around in a circle to watch her open her gifts. Naturally, I laughed, thinking this was a joke. It wasn't. We formed a circle as she opened about five gifts for herself. She knew exactly what was in every single gift. She never let her husband buy her gifts. She was this bougie, everything's-for-show weird woman and would have a breakdown if he got her something she didn't want. So anyway, these gifts that were mostly just money were wrapped in these horrible, flimsy clothing gift boxes with a bunch of tissue paper. So as she danced cross-legged on the floor, she would grab each individual piece of tissue paper, daintily hold it in the air and do this dramatic toss of the tissue paper with a giggle. I kept looking at my husband, not husband yet at this point, for any indication that they were fucking with me. It took nearly

• 1:21:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  an hour for her to open these gifts. Each tissue paper toss just as dramatic and weird as the last. Then it came time for dinner, and never mind that she can't cook a meal to save her life, but they spent the entire Christmas dinner bashing the LGBTQ community."

• 1:22:02Rayna Greenberg?

  What?

• 1:22:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, I definitely soften that. The words they were using are not kind. "My ex's younger cousin had just come out to the family about a month prior, and apparently this was the worst thing that's happened to that family. To be honest, they were my favorite person I'd met in that family, including my ex-husband. But joke's on them because their son is now out and transitioning."

• 1:22:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Why do I have like chills all over my body? I've like read this email before.

• 1:22:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God. If you ladies ever need more in-law stories, I have a bag full of them, like the time she left out her lingerie and naked photos for us to find. What is wrong with this woman?

• 1:22:34Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, slow clap for this girl getting away from this family.

• 1:22:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:22:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Holy shit.

• 1:22:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  So this is her ex, they were, okay, ex-in-laws. She was married to him. Okay, got it.

• 1:22:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, and I guess they split up and since then he's transitioned and, you know, hopefully he's following his truth.

• 1:22:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wait, her ex-husband's transitioning?

• 1:22:50Rayna Greenberg?

  She said, joke's on them, their son is now out and transitioning.

• 1:22:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  But she, her ex-husband or another, maybe another son? I think she would say that. That's another layer. That's a whole nother story.

• 1:23:04Rayna Greenberg?

  We only had so much time, we just want a holiday story.

• 1:23:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think it's another son, not her ex-husband.

• 1:23:10Rayna Greenberg?

  She's talking about the cousin that she liked.

• 1:23:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, she's talking about their son, but maybe there's another son, so like, her ex-brother-in-law. I think she'd say her ex-husband, don't you think? I don't know, I'm dying to know.

• 1:23:24Rayna Greenberg?

  There's so much information.

• 1:23:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  We'll update you guys next week.

• 1:23:26Rayna Greenberg?

  So much happened. I find it so, listen, I know it's not the most egregious part of this email, but like, making people form a circle around you while you open gifts. I, honestly, I hated baby showers and I find it really fucking weird when people do it at like, engagement parties and showers and find that's how you want to live your life, like, do it. Christmas, you don't get, you don't get the, the present circle.

• 1:23:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you're not the star. Like, you, at a shower, there's one person, that's the star, that's when it's acceptable. What is this mom doing? And I'm so confused. It was just money wrapped in tissue paper and she was like,

• 1:23:59Rayna Greenberg?

  She made people wrap it in boxes.

• 1:24:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Another gift card to Sax. Just kidding, not Sax, not Sax. Sax does not need to catch a stray.

• 1:24:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Neiman's.

• 1:24:13Rayna Greenberg?

  This is crazy.

• 1:24:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, it really is.

• 1:24:14Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, well, good for you, girl, get away from these people.

• 1:24:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, thank you guys so much for sharing with us as always.

• 1:24:20Rayna Greenberg?

  And we hope you guys have a great holiday season and peace and joy, whatever you choose to do, we support any decision that you guys make this holiday season.

• 1:24:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, and you know, prioritize your family if they prioritize you. Don't start no shit, won't be no shit. That's my

• 1:24:34Rayna Greenberg?

  It's not a fucker, I find that time.

• 1:24:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, but happy holidays.

• 1:24:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, we hope you guys are great. We love you guys.

• 1:24:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you for coming to the holiday show. New York. I'm sure it was a blast. We will have a snack this Thursday and then next week, we're going to recap the year. So we'll have a Monday and a Thursday episode.

• 1:24:50Rayna Greenberg?

  And that'll be our last episode of the year.

• 1:24:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And then, uh, yeah, our last snack of the year will be next Thursday. And then of course, Raina's tour.

• 1:24:57Rayna Greenberg?

  So I'll see you guys on tour, rainagreenberg.com. Those tickets go on sale Wednesday. Presale code is honestly full blown sale Friday, but get them on Wednesday. Tag me and Ashley in this, in the Instagram stories.

• 1:25:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So rainagreenberg.com, everybody.

• 1:25:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's leave it at that. You can follow me if you want. Ashs, raina dot greenberg. GirlsGottaEat.com. There's nothing really going on there right now though, but check it out.

• 1:25:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you know, we're by vibrators. We're a vibrator company.

• 1:25:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:23Rayna Greenberg?

  GirlsOnly.com.

• 1:25:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  GirlsGottaEat Podcasts on Instagram and Tik Tok and VibesOnly.com. But you know, rainagreenberg.com above all. Tag me in your stories and we will see you guys Thursday.

• 1:25:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Happy holidays. Have a good week, guys.

• 1:25:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bye.