MBMBaM 812: ‘Cino Drops a Hoo

We’re back to our true, nasty, sunglass-wearing selves! We’re getting down and dirty with advice about knockin’ bowls, chilli-themed ska bands, dark side nuggies, and all-around bad boy energy! Suggested talking points: Eat Your Parents Money, Searching for Beans, Dad-Dash the Grogu Fries, Was One of Your Parents Passive Voice First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could've never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother made advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis nation? It's me, your middlest brother Travis, big dog, wolf of vroom vroom heater, award-winning McElroy. Too many, I'm Griffin McElroy. And the Max Fun Drive is officially over now. We have for two weeks come to you hat in hand say, hey, we need money, but that's all in the past. Lock the gates. And boys, you know what that means? What's that? You know what that means? What's that, Juice? The bitch is back, baby. I don't want... The bitch, the bitch, the bitch is back. That's right. Your original bitch is back. Yeah, I love that. No more gratitude, no more kindness. I'm back. Can I tell you what's amazing? I am serving stinky bitch.

• 1:52Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you what's amazing, Justin? It's like a rule of-

• 1:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:55Travis McElroy?

  It's like a rule of-

• 1:56Griffin McElroy?

  Bitch. The word I don't like from you.

• 1:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's like a rule of three things. Where you said it the first time and I was like, I'm uncomfortable with you saying that. And then you said it like three times and I was like, I'm coming out.

• 2:08Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, sorry, Snowflake. Sorry. I already got your mummy.

• 2:11Travis McElroy?

  Okay, but then you said it like three more times and I fell back off. And then you said it one more time and I was like, well, maybe. And then you said it like a seventh time and I was like, I don't know.

• 2:20Travis McElroy?

  If I say it eight more times, Beetlejuice will come out of the ground, right?

• 2:24Travis McElroy?

  More like bitchel juice. The bitch. I don't have my sunglasses. Fuck. Oh, here we go. The bitch, bitch, now I'm back too.

• 2:33Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, do you want to get nasty with us? You don't have to be nice anymore, dude. Play day's over.

• 2:38Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, I do have sunglasses. Yeah, man, this bit.

• 2:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 2:43Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna put on my tortoiseshell glasses. They're even cooler.

• 2:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude, look out because now we're raising-

• 2:48Travis McElroy?

  These are black.

• 2:48Griffin McElroy?

  Now, Max Fun Drive's over. Now we're raising bitch money.

• 2:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, listen to Griffin curse. I've got a pipe.

• 2:55Griffin McElroy?

  I just don't like that one. Um, yeah, thank you to everybody who did come out to support.

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  I've got a 3D, a 3D printed mace.

• 3:03Griffin McElroy?

  I know.

• 3:03Travis McElroy?

  If you can't handle me at my Garf mask, then you don't deserve me at my, you know?

• 3:08Griffin McElroy?

  Listen, I know we promised this year that immediately after the Max Fun Drive, we wouldn't turn nasty. But the prob-

• 3:14Travis McElroy?

  But you got a knife. This guy's got a fucking knife.

• 3:17Griffin McElroy?

  But the problem is that for two weeks, we have to bottle up all this nasty energy. And now, and now we have, now we gotta let it out. Cause we do a secret drive for one week after the Max Fun Drive. That's like the nasty, the nasty go drive.

• 3:32Travis McElroy?

  Hey, kids, eat all the candy you can.

• 3:34Griffin McElroy?

  Eat all the candy. Eat all your parents' money. Fuck, yeah.

• 3:37Travis McElroy?

  Eat all your parents' money.

• 3:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. The Max Fun Drive's done. This is Drive Angry 3D. This is Drive Angry Shot in 3D. Look out for these, uh, angry bitches.

• 3:51Travis McElroy?

  Say it, Griffin. Griffin, say it.

• 3:52Griffin McElroy?

  Look out for these three nasty biffers. These biffers are gonna get ya.

• 4:00Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you didn't say-

• 4:01Travis McElroy?

  You're one of a biff.

• 4:01Griffin McElroy?

  Maximumfun.org/join. No, it's just muscle memory, guys.

• 4:05Travis McElroy?

  You get your damn hands off, her biff.

• 4:06Travis McElroy?

  You gotta stop. You're done. Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for your support last week.

• 4:09Griffin McElroy?

  Do you guys think I could keep the middle finger and the knife up for the whole?

• 4:13Travis McElroy?

  It looks like you're threatening to cut off your own middle finger.

• 4:16Griffin McElroy?

  Every clip that we cut from this episode would have an energy that would absolutely puzzle-

• 4:21Travis McElroy?

  You're threatening yourself. The combination makes it look like, I got a nice middle finger here. It'd be shameless to have a-

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  My dream is the TikTok starts here.

• 4:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:32Travis McElroy?

  Oh my god, Griffin, what's wrong with you? What are you doing, man? You look so wild. We're trying to-

• 4:36Travis McElroy?

  Don't do it, Griffin.

• 4:38Travis McElroy?

  Don't do it, Griffin. Travis, take your glasses off, too. This is like, we'll leave him hanging.

• 4:42Griffin McElroy?

  You still look like a biff.

• 4:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:44Travis McElroy?

  Wait, did you put a CH on?

• 4:46Griffin McElroy?

  I snapped, guys. I finally hit my fucking breaking point.

• 4:51Travis McElroy?

  Oh, oh no, dude.

• 4:54Griffin McElroy?

  I was in the self-checkout line at the grocery store and I was like, what happened to our once-great nation? And I fucking went haywire, dudes.

• 5:04Travis McElroy?

  But you're hitting your rings.

• 5:06Griffin McElroy?

  I'm hitting my rings. Oh, yeah, thank you. Thank you for noticing, Travis. It's 9:45 in the morning. I've already closed one of them rings. You know I'm serious about this. Maximumfun.org/join. Please?

• 5:16Travis McElroy?

  No!

• 5:16Griffin McElroy?

  God damn it. Fuck.

• 5:18Travis McElroy?

  Stop it. Hey, do you guys wanna hear a wild, weird fact?

• 5:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. So you know, index finger you point with. Middle finger, it's right there in the middle. Ring finger's when you put your ring on. We got pinky and thumb. What's the deal with that? Pinky, named after a Dutch word, pink, for short, short finger. Thumb, Old English, thuma, short stout finger. So you got your pointer finger, your index finger, your middle finger, your ring finger, your small finger, and your short stout finger.

• 5:48Griffin McElroy?

  They should just call them those. I see what you're saying. I see the point that you're making, Travis. And I wanna call this now- My thick finger. Gimme a, a th- thick's up. What if we just?

• 5:59Travis McElroy?

  Thick.

• 5:59Griffin McElroy?

  Thick ones up. Thick ones up. Maximumfund.org/join.

• 6:03Travis McElroy?

  Stop doing it, Griffin. And a little finger. Oh, wait, that's a different guy. I'd rather they didn't. You know what I mean?

• 6:09Griffin McElroy?

  No, I would rather they did.

• 6:10Travis McElroy?

  It's less special.

• 6:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Okay.

• 6:13Travis McElroy?

  It doesn't mean anything now. It's like telling someone you love them when it's not Valentine's Day. This is an, Amanda hates when we do this. That, this, thank you so much for your support. We are an advice show. Still, can't stop, won't stop. Don't know how.

• 6:26Griffin McElroy?

  Unless we get sick, or we're not feeling, unless like one of our kids gets sick.

• 6:30Travis McElroy?

  Or we're traveling and we put up a live show.

• 6:32Griffin McElroy?

  Conflict, we're tired.

• 6:33Travis McElroy?

  Tommy A. Yesterday, honestly, yesterday.

• 6:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yesterday.

• 6:36Travis McElroy?

  I just couldn't, literally yesterday. I was still recovering from the Yellowstone stream.

• 6:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Travis McElroy?

  Couldn't do it.

• 6:43Griffin McElroy?

  After the Yellowstone stream. You're buzzing, dude. Post, post, you got post-stone clarity.

• 6:47Travis McElroy?

  My cache is cleared, baby. I got so much RAM, but on Tuesday, right after the stream, my children tried to ask me like where things were in the house.

• 6:56Griffin McElroy?

  No way.

• 6:56Travis McElroy?

  Questions about what we were doing later. And I was like, I can't, baby. I can't right now. I love you so much.

• 7:02Griffin McElroy?

  To solve the global RAM shortage, all we need to do is get all these AI guys to just do all their AI and get it done with. And then all of a sudden, I'll be able to buy my Nintendo Switch 2 at a reasonable price point.

• 7:17Travis McElroy?

  I mean, we'll have to maybe ship some water in from other planets, you know, and stuff after that, but it's worth it for Griffin to get a Switch 2.

• 7:25Griffin McElroy?

  Quick. They'll get it through it so quick. All that AI stuff.

• 7:28Travis McElroy?

  We should have the AI analyze other AI until they spiral and explode.

• 7:33Griffin McElroy?

  Spiral out, they explode. And now all of a sudden I can buy my PlayStation 5 Pro for less than $1,000. Thank you so much.

• 7:40Travis McElroy?

  I actually, I actually am working on this. Um, I entered my first command ever into AI a few weeks ago, and it was.

• 7:48Travis McElroy?

  Uh, just like co-pilot, please shut down all other AI.

• 7:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:53Travis McElroy?

  And then, and like, and it's like, it says thinking or working on it still.

• 7:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:58Travis McElroy?

  But I feel like.

• 7:59Travis McElroy?

  It's doing it.

• 8:00Travis McElroy?

  It will, it will.

• 8:02Travis McElroy?

  It's been working on it for a long time.

• 8:04Travis McElroy?

  It's been working on it. It's been thinking about it. And maybe it's like talking to other co-pilots. I don't know about shutting it down, I think.

• 8:12Travis McElroy?

  I think those are co-co-pilots at that point.

• 8:14Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta be careful with that shit, Juice, cuz one time I was writing a document in Microsoft Word and Clippy was like, um, I'm sorry, did you mean? And I was, and I said, Clippy, suck my dick. And then, but then the energy, like, he stopped correcting my stuff after that point. And like, the energy was like, kinda weird. Like, every time I turned on the application, he'd be like, is it today? And I'd be like, Clippy, that was just sort of like a nasty, I was mad at you. I didn't, I wasn't propositioning you.

• 8:43Travis McElroy?

  It's the problem with tone and text.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  I had that with Bonzi Buddy, you know, or Bonzi Buddy that lived on your desktop.

• 8:49Griffin McElroy?

  Buddy, yeah. No, he too gets confused.

• 8:52Travis McElroy?

  I recently entered into a company tagline contest for work. And I saw that my tagline had made it to the finals, so I asked my coworker to help vote for it. Little did I know that she would tell HR to send a company-wide email saying to vote for me. But I just realized the tagline I thought was mine wasn't. Brothers, how do I get out of this situation or at least save face? I honestly thought it was mine. No, okay, now hold on. No, wait. What, I'm, I'm confused about something. Why did the, why did the whole company get an email saying to vote for you? In a contest that everybody company-wide was competing in?

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  So here's what I think happened. I think that there is some, uh, uh, miswording here, where maybe it was like everybody in the branch.

• 9:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Travis McElroy?

  To vote for mine as a company-wide tagline.

• 9:46Griffin McElroy?

  This is a big company.

• 9:47Travis McElroy?

  Otherwise, it's a wild thing to be like, hey, I know that like Derek and Susan are in the running too. But everyone, this is your HR rep, vote for Todd.

• 9:57Griffin McElroy?

  The wild thing, and it's wild enough that it makes me wanna put the question in timeout, is that you didn't tell us what your fucking tagline was. That's crazy. I guess it's not your tagline.

• 10:07Travis McElroy?

  How are we supposed to brainstorm?

• 10:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Travis McElroy?

  I don't think they're looking for a new tagline, Justin. I don't, I think it's probably too late to get ours submitted.

• 10:16Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so it's probably for Hormel Chili if I had to guess.

• 10:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:20Travis McElroy?

  I'm thinking Hormel Chili makes the most sense to me. I was thinking about it for a little bit. And they probably, if I had to guess.

• 10:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:28Travis McElroy?

  This is a more of a guess to moot because I'm using a lot of context clues here. It's not just a random poll.

• 10:35Travis McElroy?

  And the tagline was probably, if you're searching for beans, they're there.

• 10:40Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's good.

• 10:41Griffin McElroy?

  That's a song too, which I like.

• 10:43Travis McElroy?

  If you're searching for beans, they're there. If you're searching for beans, they're there.

• 10:48Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:49Travis McElroy?

  I like that a lot.

• 10:50Travis McElroy?

  Sorry.

• 10:51Travis McElroy?

  They're there.

• 10:52Travis McElroy?

  I realize saying it out loud, it sounds like.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  It sounds like you're saying. You're consoling someone who's struggling to find beans. That's cool too. If you're looking for beans, they're there. Enjoy the chili.

• 11:04Travis McElroy?

  Looking for beans.

• 11:05Griffin McElroy?

  If you're looking.

• 11:06Travis McElroy?

  I think the K of looking actually is better than the of searching. If you're looking for beans, they're there.

• 11:13Travis McElroy?

  Well, that's probably what happened. They submitted, if you're searching for beans, they're there. And somebody submitted, if you're looking for beans, they're there. And they were like, yeah, that's. I think that's what I put.

• 11:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  And then they realized the other one's better. What about, what about can you horse smell what we're cooking?

• 11:30Griffin McElroy?

  Can you horse smell like Hormel?

• 11:34Griffin McElroy?

  Like the rocks thing?

• 11:35Travis McElroy?

  I'm realizing now it is very similar. I don't think he came up with the idea of smelling what's cooking though.

• 11:40Griffin McElroy?

  Also, I'm not sure that that's. You, the way that you have divided up that word.

• 11:48Travis McElroy?

  What's wrong with it?

• 11:50Griffin McElroy?

  What are you? I was just thinking, you found the beans. And that can be cool. Like if you're looking.

• 11:55Travis McElroy?

  Found the beans.

• 11:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, just a shorter version of like, you found the beans. You found the bean. Or what about this? Hormel chili. You found the chili. That's cool. Cause this is like.

• 12:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Griffin McElroy?

  If you're shopping for chili at the grocery store, you see that, you're like, got it.

• 12:11Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:12Griffin McElroy?

  You're like, I need something for. I need a nice fall spicy treat for my, my five kids.

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  Hormel chili, it won't hor melt in your pocket.

• 12:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's okay.

• 12:22Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 12:24Travis McElroy?

  What about, uh, we've got the beans?

• 12:29Travis McElroy?

  That's too much like Arby's. And I don't think they needed a tagline. Did they say? I'm gonna reread this question.

• 12:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, read it again, cuz I know it says in there somewhere.

• 12:37Travis McElroy?

  I'm buying into your premise. Just that I said, like, eight sentences ago, that they didn't ask for a tagline, it was too late to admit. But then you kept going.

• 12:49Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't have any more good ones.

• 12:52Travis McElroy?

  Oh, now you're doubling back.

• 12:53Griffin McElroy?

  Now we're coming back.

• 12:54Travis McElroy?

  This is the eighth episode in a row, this is.

• 12:56Griffin McElroy?

  Kicking in the old abandoned question factory and looking for fucking ghosts. I know there was something in here.

• 13:04Travis McElroy?

  Let me see your hands.

• 13:06Griffin McElroy?

  I know there was something in here, but help me come up with a bean tagline. Did you guys hear that? There's something in the...

• 13:12Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 13:12Griffin McElroy?

  I'm getting something in the EMF reader.

• 13:15Travis McElroy?

  I think there's another question squatting within this abandoned question.

• 13:23Travis McElroy?

  I don't understand why anybody is campaigning. Like, just look at all the taglines, and then we should be trying to serve Rommel.

• 13:31Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's what Travis...

• 13:32Travis McElroy?

  It's a popularity contest.

• 13:34Griffin McElroy?

  What Travis suggested, I think, is probably the case. It's a big company. This is a local branch of that company. They're very competitive. They wanna be the franchise that earns the respect of... Yeah, a lot of prestige. You know, the chili boss, and they wanna just do a kick-ass job. And so the boss, the CEO, not CEO, but like, the boss of this brand. The chili executive officer. The chili executive officer was like, listen, we gotta represent for Duluth. Everybody vote for Doug's thing, and if that's the case, this is never gonna blow back on you. Cuz if your boss finds out, your boss is gonna be like, tell your boss. Go into your boss's office, say, I did not write that tagline, but you pushed it really hard. So now the cover-up is on both of us.

• 14:15Griffin McElroy?

  You are now an accomplice. You're coming with me. Help me hide my shame.

• 14:22Griffin McElroy?

  Also, I've got some-

• 14:22Travis McElroy?

  Or just say like, I've second guessed, I've, I'm second guessing my choice. You know what? I actually stole that tagline from my nephew. He used it for his ska band. Oh, man, I don't want to get in trouble with my nephew. He can be really mean sometimes. So, uh, we need to withdraw the tagline that's not mine from the race.

• 14:43Griffin McElroy?

  What, his ska, yes, it is called Chili Pop and Daddy's. That is the name of his, that is the name of his chili-based ska band.

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  And listen, my sister, his mom hates it. The music is challenging.

• 14:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Something about sort of the energy of Cherry Pop and Daddy's mixed with the kind of like spicy mix-up of chili is like, I don't know, hitting me in a synesthetic sort of unpleasant way.

• 15:07Travis McElroy?

  Um, I, I, the Beanie Beanie Boss Bowls, is that anything?

• 15:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  That's really good, Justin. Beanie Beefy Boss Bowls? The Beefy Beanie Boss Bowls. I think alphabetical. Beefy Beanie Boss Bowls. The Beanie Setsor Orchestra.

• 15:22Griffin McElroy?

  Is that ska?

• 15:24Travis McElroy?

  What? No, that was more swing, I guess.

• 15:27Griffin McElroy?

  Five Bean Frenzy.

• 15:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:29Travis McElroy?

  Mmm, that's good.

• 15:31Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know how many different beans.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  Why didn't they make up more ska bands?

• 15:34Griffin McElroy?

  Why didn't they make up more chili-based ska bands? It doesn't fucking make sense to me, man.

• 15:37Travis McElroy?

  I already, ska bands at all, you know? Well, there's- Five ska bands, dang it. The Blanking Underdogs was Oscar Isaac's Christian ska band.

• 15:45Travis McElroy?

  Six. Okay, six. I recently found out that two of the organizers of my community theater company are former Radio City Rockettes. There happens to be a running joke in my family that I specifically could never be a Rockette. I have no desire to be a Rockette or even pursue dancing professionally. But they claim even elderly relatives would have a better shot at making the kick line than me. I can't pass up this opportunity to combat my family's judgment. How do I get one of these dance veterans to validate me? And that's from It's Not Rockettes Science in Houston.

• 16:18Griffin McElroy?

  Can you read the personal info here? The, the additional info?

• 16:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it says possibly important. Yes, I can kick above my head. My family's reasoning is that I'm so uncoordinated that it outweighs previous dance experience and flexibility. The show we're doing is Oklahoma. No existing kick line opportunity.

• 16:37Griffin McElroy?

  Bullshit.

• 16:37Travis McElroy?

  Incorrect.

• 16:38Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking wrong dude. Line them up. The farmer and the cowman could be friends.

• 16:42Travis McElroy?

  That's exactly what I was about to say.

• 16:44Griffin McElroy?

  Line them asses up in the barn and get those legs sky high dude. The farmer and the cowman should be friends. The farmer and the cowman should be friends.

• 16:52Travis McElroy?

  Perfect.

• 16:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I think you even need, you know what's great, what would be great is if there's not one, like there's not one plan. And then just as you're pacing through it, you just start like super high kicking.

• 17:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:03Travis McElroy?

  And they're like, uh, Becky, are you okay? It's like, I'm just feeling it. Are you guys feeling this?

• 17:07Griffin McElroy?

  It's like a Newton's cradle thing. If you do it for long enough, everyone else will just eventually kind of sync up with you.

• 17:13Travis McElroy?

  The wave, the conga, the kick line. Somebody's gotta start it.

• 17:17Griffin McElroy?

  Someone has to.

• 17:18Travis McElroy?

  Exactly. The kick line has to have somebody.

• 17:20Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, can you imagine being there, the first Rockettes show? When they were like just kind of standing around and they were like, it's the Bucky Bucky Bucky Bar Company. And then one Rockette was just like, and everyone was like, holy shit, what you just do?

• 17:33Travis McElroy?

  Well, it went like this Griffin. Somebody said, Debbie, didn't you play high school football? And she was like, yeah, but I was just a kicker. And they're like, show them your form.

• 17:42Griffin McElroy?

  Show them.

• 17:42Travis McElroy?

  Do it. And they kicked and they said, wait, do that again.

• 17:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:46Travis McElroy?

  And then they're like, now everybody pretend like you're punting. And they did it. And they were like, this is the show. Guys, this is the show.

• 17:54Griffin McElroy?

  I just, I just hurt my knee.

• 17:58Travis McElroy?

  Just talking about that.

• 18:00Griffin McElroy?

  No, doing one kick. I did one kick for.

• 18:03Travis McElroy?

  So you'll never be a Rockette.

• 18:04Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't get a full extension on it. I am sitting down, so I did have that working against me, but my knee, I hurt it. And it doesn't feel very good right now.

• 18:12Travis McElroy?

  There must have been a genesis of this where at some point you said like, I could do that, right? While watching like the Thanksgiving Day parade.

• 18:21Griffin McElroy?

  I gotta know the history of this like fucking ongoing family razz, cause they always dial in on the strangest stuff.

• 18:27Travis McElroy?

  It would be wild if just one day like your dad leaned into the kitchen. It's just like, hey, by the way, you could never be a Rockette. And he just like walked out of the room. You're like, what? Where did that come from? Cause you're gangly and uncoordinated.

• 18:41Travis McElroy?

  But dad did that to us. Gave us specific drags like that. I mean, why did Travis need the baggage as a child that he had a bony ass? That meant a song about how Travis's ass was bony. That's maniacal.

• 18:55Travis McElroy?

  Wrong.

• 18:55Travis McElroy?

  He's not wrong, but like, why is that a topic of discussion? In a, like, you know what I mean? It hasn't come up in our business.

• 19:02Griffin McElroy?

  I will say.

• 19:03Travis McElroy?

  Travis's educational experiences, I don't think. Well, I mean, I didn't like sitting in like wooden desks. Yeah. And pews.

• 19:09Travis McElroy?

  It's the main reason I'm not in the church anymore.

• 19:12Griffin McElroy?

  Little Travis hops up on your lap and that's so many mall Santas were just like, fuck.

• 19:17Travis McElroy?

  Yes, slap right through there.

• 19:19Griffin McElroy?

  The thing about, anyone can kick above their head. Oh. The issue is the return, is the reloading that action.

• 19:27Travis McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 19:28Griffin McElroy?

  Cause it's like an alligator, my leg, I don't know about you guys, but my leg is like an alligator mouth. Where the muscles can go up real fast in one direction, but the muscles, the retractors on the backside of it, the interior haunch is slower to bring it down. So it's possible that that's what your parents are talking about.

• 19:48Travis McElroy?

  Your mistake, Griffin, and the reason you injured yourself. You did not do the primary like cocking it move, right? Where they bring the knee up first, bring it back down and then kick.

• 19:58Griffin McElroy?

  That's so important. The, the cocking move is actually, I never thought about it. I thought it was like for a dance style, like a cool style, but you're saying it's

• 20:06Travis McElroy?

  Prepping.

• 20:07Griffin McElroy?

  They're prepping a kick.

• 20:07Travis McElroy?

  Think you gotta, you gotta cock it and load it and then kick it.

• 20:11Griffin McElroy?

  Like Henry Cavill in that, in that Mission Impossible movie.

• 20:14Travis McElroy?

  Henry Cavill where he cocks his fist. Cuckoo, you know?

• 20:17Griffin McElroy?

  God, that's

• 20:18Travis McElroy?

  It is cool.

• 20:19Griffin McElroy?

  God, that's cool.

• 20:20Travis McElroy?

  And we didn't, we didn't appreciate it at the time.

• 20:23Travis McElroy?

  Everybody appreciated it, Travis. We constantly, everybody appreciated it.

• 20:26Griffin McElroy?

  That man had a, he had a CGI mustache. Is that right? Or no, in the Superman movie, he had an un-mustache. That's right.

• 20:33Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 20:34Griffin McElroy?

  So cool. Movies are great.

• 20:36Travis McElroy?

  That's why we go to the movies, Griffin.

• 20:38Travis McElroy?

  This is why we're at the movies.

• 20:41Griffin McElroy?

  I think also it's possible that maybe your family has the utmost reverence for the Rockettes. It is hard to make it on the, it's so, I, there's like fucking what? 30 of them? 30 Rockettes jobs on the planet? Yeah, that's gonna be a tough gig to get into. Your odds are astonishingly low. There've been more American presidents than there have been Rockettes. So you tell me.

• 21:09Travis McElroy?

  I guess.

• 21:10Travis McElroy?

  You're a Rockette. You can pull forever though, right?

• 21:13Griffin McElroy?

  What's that mean?

• 21:13Travis McElroy?

  Like forever, ever. If you're a Rockette, you can pull forever.

• 21:16Griffin McElroy?

  You can't pull what?

• 21:18Travis McElroy?

  Pull. Tail. As a Rockette, as you, the, for your whole life.

• 21:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Travis McElroy?

  As a Rockette, if you were a Rockette once.

• 21:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:28Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying you can probably pull tail forever.

• 21:31Griffin McElroy?

  Try it with juice.

• 21:31Travis McElroy?

  If you're trying to get, if you're trying to cruise or straying.

• 21:35Griffin McElroy?

  Put the sunglasses on. Try it with the sunglasses.

• 21:38Travis McElroy?

  I bet if you're a Rockette once, you can pull tail forever. If you're cruising for some strange, as a former Rockette, I bet the pickings are plenty.

• 21:46Travis McElroy?

  So you're saying there's a scenario in which this person's talking to somebody and they're trying to flirt with them and they're not, it's not working. And then there's like, I was a Rockette and the person's like, ooh la la.

• 21:58Travis McElroy?

  I'm just talking about the instructors now. I'm just saying, I'm just saying as a, as a life, there's so few, right? It's such a small resource of people. I bet if you used to be a Rockette,

• 22:10Travis McElroy?

  you could probably pull tail forever. That's all I'm saying.

• 22:13Travis McElroy?

  You're in a Rudy's sitting.

• 22:14Griffin McElroy?

  No, timeout, timeout, Trav, timeout. Cause we're like past the drive now. We can like sort of take our time a little bit more. It's not as stressed. It's not as like pressured. But what, let's work on the sound, uh, that you're doing at the end of the.

• 22:27Travis McElroy?

  Half between bullet and spittoon.

• 22:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's exactly what I got from it. Like someone was chewing bullets and spit one out into the spittoon.

• 22:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:39Travis McElroy?

  Patang.

• 22:41Griffin McElroy?

  Why did you, but why is that the sound that you thought?

• 22:45Travis McElroy?

  So it's like, if I say something that makes me a little bit uncomfortable after I say it, I'm like trying to do a joke. You guys are all joking. And like, I'm trying to do a joke. Like I'd say something that like, I'm not sure was okay. And it kind of made me uncomfortable to sit with it.

• 22:59Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 22:59Travis McElroy?

  I've found that if I make a little sound like that, it's almost like a. Palate cleanser, or like a let's move on, or like a, we don't have to sit in the silence.

• 23:09Griffin McElroy?

  Are you open for notes? Cause again, it's, we're, we're, we have some breathing room.

• 23:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for sure.

• 23:15Griffin McElroy?

  Can you try, give me that joke again about the, you can pull.

• 23:18Travis McElroy?

  I don't remember.

• 23:19Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, you said, so the line, the line was, I bet if you're a Rocket once, you can pull.

• 23:23Travis McElroy?

  Wait, Griffin, give me the line, give me the line, give me the line one more time.

• 23:27Griffin McElroy?

  You said, Justin, Justin McElroy said, in case you're trying to clip around this.

• 23:32Travis McElroy?

  Or just.

• 23:33Griffin McElroy?

  Justin, so adjust it. So I gotta do this real fast. So you can't fucking clip around this, but.

• 23:38Travis McElroy?

  You gotta give it in the middle, Griffin. Like if you're a Rocket.

• 23:40Griffin McElroy?

  If you're a Rocket, comma, Justin said.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:44Griffin McElroy?

  Once, you can pull tail forever. So give me that, but then give me a fucking Pacino, hooah. Can you give me one of those?

• 23:51Travis McElroy?

  You know, I bet if you're a Rocket once, you can pull tail forever.

• 23:57Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, no.

• 23:57Travis McElroy?

  That wasn't it, dude. No, that was a hernia. That was a hernia.

• 24:02Griffin McElroy?

  Have you heard him do it before?

• 24:04Travis McElroy?

  Have you heard him? Didn't see the film. I'm so sorry.

• 24:06Griffin McElroy?

  Ah, okay.

• 24:06Travis McElroy?

  Does he do it in Insomnia?

• 24:09Griffin McElroy?

  I'm pretty sure it's scent. I'm pretty sure.

• 24:11Travis McElroy?

  No, but does he also do it in?

• 24:12Griffin McElroy?

  I think he drops it in scent.

• 24:14Travis McElroy?

  I know it's in scent of a W. All the, all the sin heads know that.

• 24:18Griffin McElroy?

  Scent of a whim.

• 24:20Travis McElroy?

  All the sin heads know about that.

• 24:21Griffin McElroy?

  Pacino drops hooah in scent of a whim, for sure.

• 24:24Travis McElroy?

  Pacino drops hooah.

• 24:26Griffin McElroy?

  Pacino drops a hoo.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  Every time. Pacino, Pacino drops a hoo.

• 24:30Griffin McElroy?

  When Pacino, when Pacino drops that hoo.

• 24:33Travis McElroy?

  Fuck, dude.

• 24:34Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:35Travis McElroy?

  Fuck, dude, when I'm watching Namia, and he's up against Rob Will, and he drops the hoo.

• 24:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:41Travis McElroy?

  I don't wanna go to sleep either.

• 24:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 24:45Travis McElroy?

  For sure.

• 24:47Griffin McElroy?

  It's the only reason to watch Sinny Wim.

• 24:49Travis McElroy?

  Only reason.

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  Is it weird that I share bowls with my cat?

• 24:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 24:56Travis McElroy?

  Not at the same time, but I replace my cat's water bowl every day. The type of bowl is the same one I use for my human food. So I don't keep track of which ones the cat has used. In my mind, if it's clean, then it's clean for either me or the cat. Is that wrong, though? Should my cat and I have separate dishes? And that's from Gmail.

• 25:18Travis McElroy?

  I think the biggest problem is the message you're sending to your cat of like, cat already sees itself as on par with you. And you are confirming that level of importance when it sees you pour a bowl of cereal and eat a bowl of water, but then it sees you set it's down on the floor and yours on the table. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 25:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 25:43Griffin McElroy?

  I'll take the, I'll take the inverse position here and say that you are putting, you are thinking of yourself on the level of your cat. And if you do that, Jackson Galaxy says, it's gonna kill you and eat you in your sleep.

• 25:54Travis McElroy?

  That's true.

• 25:55Griffin McElroy?

  He says, number one, when he comes into those places with his guitar case and he like picks up a cat by its like,

• 26:01Travis McElroy?

  puts it in the guitar case?

• 26:02Griffin McElroy?

  And puts it in the guitar case and then says, you're gross. And everyone's like, stop. And he's like, no, you have to, if you don't make yourself bigger than them, they'll kill and eat you in your sleep. So you gotta have a little self, a little dignity, I guess. Is the cat can smell it. I'm pretty sure they specify water bowl. Pretty sure they specify water bowl, which is like,

• 26:23Travis McElroy?

  I think a fun new tactic that we could take in answering questions like this is to imagine a third party is present in this scenario.

• 26:34Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, well, there are three of us, so.

• 26:36Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no. Yeah, but I'm saying like, these people, right? The question asker and the cat. And then there's someone sitting there with them, maybe a guest or like a relative, right? And they watch them.

• 26:49Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 26:50Travis McElroy?

  Like do this two days in a row, right? And they're like, huh. And question asker, if that happens, how do you feel being observed and asked about what you're doing?

• 27:03Griffin McElroy?

  Probably not great, but that's why they wrote us.

• 27:06Travis McElroy?

  That seems to answer the goddamn question to me, don't it?

• 27:09Travis McElroy?

  I know Travis, Travis, I, I, I, listen, man, I wanna celebrate you and appreciate you, but there's not a third party.

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  Hey, thank you. Let's stop there.

• 27:15Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no.

• 27:16Griffin McElroy?

  But there's not a third party here. And I know that our religious upbringing has sort of introduced first thought of just imagine that there is someone looking at you and going, no, no, no.

• 27:25Travis McElroy?

  God is watching.

• 27:26Travis McElroy?

  You're talking about religion, right? So you are kinda talking about religion and you're like, solved. And I don't think it's quite that easy.

• 27:32Travis McElroy?

  I don't think I was talking about religion. I said like a friend.

• 27:35Travis McElroy?

  Imagine there's a person, imagine there's a person watching you and judging you and then act accordingly is religion. So you're just like, fuck, I invented it.

• 27:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, no, no, no.

• 27:46Travis McElroy?

  I backed into religion again. I'm sorry, guys.

• 27:48Travis McElroy?

  Religion again. So let's, let's actually.

• 27:50Griffin McElroy?

  At least this time, Trav, you didn't do it about yourself. You didn't do, you didn't sort of create a Travis religion.

• 27:55Travis McElroy?

  Big step.

• 27:56Griffin McElroy?

  You just created a sort of general framework.

• 27:58Travis McElroy?

  What if instead, when there's another person around, you act in a certain way and when you're by yourself, you do whatever you want to? My only issue with this person right here, this little issue is that you, I agree with you. If you clean the bowl, no biggie. But man, if you look away for a second, like what if you set the bowls down?

• 28:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Travis McElroy?

  You look away, you turn back, you gotta throw them in the garbage. Like there's no, you can't.

• 28:28Griffin McElroy?

  You lost sight, yeah.

• 28:29Travis McElroy?

  You instantly lost sight.

• 28:30Griffin McElroy?

  It's about custody at that point. You need to keep the chain of custody sort of going at all times.

• 28:34Travis McElroy?

  There's a chain of custody that has to be maintained.

• 28:36Travis McElroy?

  There's also a shape to cat bowls for a reason.

• 28:40Griffin McElroy?

  Interesting.

• 28:41Travis McElroy?

  Cause if they have rounded bottoms and like the bowls are wider at the top than they are at the bottom, kitties love knocking shit over.

• 28:48Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:50Travis McElroy?

  And so you need like a wide base.

• 28:52Griffin McElroy?

  A flat, yeah, plate.

• 28:53Travis McElroy?

  Right? Unless you're both.

• 28:55Travis McElroy?

  This person, that's what they like.

• 28:56Travis McElroy?

  Unless you're both using that kind of, cause I don't, does it specify? No, it could just be that.

• 29:05Travis McElroy?

  It says I'm a sloppy little puppy.

• 29:09Griffin McElroy?

  I love to knock my spaghetti around. I knock my spaghetti around on the floor and I love to make a big mess.

• 29:15Travis McElroy?

  First deep into it like Ralphie from Christmas Story. Okay.

• 29:19Griffin McElroy?

  All that.

• 29:20Travis McElroy?

  Well, there you go. As long as you're both nasty boys who will knock over your bowls if they're not a flat wide base, go for it.

• 29:29Griffin McElroy?

  Do you guys use the same bowls as your kids?

• 29:31Travis McElroy?

  As my kids?

• 29:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:33Travis McElroy?

  They've started using my grown up plates.

• 29:36Griffin McElroy?

  Ooh.

• 29:37Travis McElroy?

  Cause we've had like, you know, sets of like plastic matching colorful, right? And then Theresa and I have grown up boring plates. And my kids have started to notice that the grown up boring plates are larger than their child plates. And they're like, wait a minute. I want the big plate.

• 29:53Griffin McElroy?

  How much, how come daddy gets so much more cereal than I do when it's cereal time? My answer to that is I'm rocking one of these Martha Stewart square plates that we got from our wedding and are still fucking kicking all these years later. Thank you, Martha. These are square bowls. You're not ready for these, son. You don't know how to eat cereal out of a square bowl. You'll be so fucking confused.

• 30:14Travis McElroy?

  What started happening now, Griffin, is I'll get them, uh, one of their plastic bowls out and get myself a white bowl. And they're like, can I have the white bowl? But I've already gotten the plastic bowl out. So guess who uses the plastic bowl?

• 30:24Griffin McElroy?

  Nice.

• 30:25Travis McElroy?

  This guy.

• 30:26Travis McElroy?

  At some point I realized as an adult that I don't really like using anything breakable. So pretty much every, all of our plates are just recycled plastic bamboo. It's one of the best decisions I ever made. Just get a bunch of these recycled plastic bamboo plates. I don't need off adult plates anymore. I can't trust myself. Don't have glass, glassware. Don't fuck with that. I just like plastics. I like plastic stuff.

• 30:49Griffin McElroy?

  But it's special, not, it's special, uh, not microplastic.

• 30:55Travis McElroy?

  No, it's bamboo, that's what I'm saying. I already said that earlier.

• 30:58Griffin McElroy?

  Good.

• 30:58Travis McElroy?

  I was gonna make a joke, Justin, about how you should get some plastic cafeteria trays with the sections on them. But then I thought, why did we ever let go of that?

• 31:07Travis McElroy?

  This is what I'm saying.

• 31:08Travis McElroy?

  I fucking love a section of.

• 31:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Travis McElroy?

  Where it's like, there's your corn, there's your roll.

• 31:14Griffin McElroy?

  It's why I don't eat peas. It's why I don't eat peas. These motherfuckers go rogue, dude.

• 31:20Travis McElroy?

  Have I told you about the utensil?

• 31:21Griffin McElroy?

  They're also gross. They're also gross.

• 31:23Travis McElroy?

  The utensil I want to invent for peas.

• 31:25Griffin McElroy?

  Just say yes, just say yes, just say yes.

• 31:27Travis McElroy?

  Yes. Where it's like a little shovel, it's a spoon, but it's got a flat bottom and a flat front. So you can scoop.

• 31:33Griffin McElroy?

  I can't believe we're hearing about shpoon, shpoon again.

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  It's like a child's like sand shovel, right? Where it's like flat and you can really get the peas and kind of bulldoze them up.

• 31:42Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, yeah, it's shpoon. You've told us about shpoon so many times.

• 31:46Travis McElroy?

  Travis has been on meetings trying to pitch McKay to start manufact- They really want DFT, Travis really, really, really wants DFTBA to start manufacturing.

• 31:54Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying we've had the same three main utensils for too long.

• 31:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:58Travis McElroy?

  It is time for our fourth option.

• 31:59Griffin McElroy?

  You want a cutting, you want a cutting spoon, a cutting spoon.

• 32:03Travis McElroy?

  No, Griffin, I want a digging spoon. I want a flat front.

• 32:07Travis McElroy?

  The shovel spoon.

• 32:08Travis McElroy?

  A flat front, flat bottom, raised sides. So I can scoop up the peas.

• 32:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, can I get serrated sides though? For, for, if I need to cut something with.

• 32:18Travis McElroy?

  It's not a one all spoon, Griffin. It's not a one all.

• 32:22Griffin McElroy?

  Wouldn't it? Yeah, don't put that in your mouth.

• 32:23Travis McElroy?

  No, this is so I can come in at a flat, not have to tilt the side of my spoon to get to the peas. I can just scrape the plate, pick them up, clean shovel.

• 32:34Travis McElroy?

  Tell you another, another, uh, kidivation that I have begun treating myself to again, and that is corn sheets.

• 32:41Travis McElroy?

  Oh. Oh, yeah, slice off the corn. You slice off the corn on the cob so it comes off in one sheet. Hell, yeah, brother.

• 32:47Travis McElroy?

  You think you like eating corn on the cob? Way do you have sheets off the cob? That's the stuff. The kernels will stick together sometimes 20 or 30 in a clump and you get to break them up like some kind of giant eaten gold.

• 33:00Travis McElroy?

  I like to pretend.

• 33:02Travis McElroy?

  Come on. Come on, Garmin Bowser.

• 33:07Travis McElroy?

  I'm, I'm a beekeeper when that happens and I'm carving like the wax off to let the honey out and it comes off and you get that great sound.

• 33:15Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man, I don't want to be a beekeeper because I don't want to get stung, but is there a job where they let you just come up and cut the wax off of that? That shit, when it comes off all soft and they make it into soap and stuff, god damn, that looks good.

• 33:28Travis McElroy?

  That's all I want.

• 33:29Griffin McElroy?

  That's all I want. I don't want to interface with the insects, but I would like to do the, bees are beautiful. I'm not a bee hater, but I don't, I'm scared of them and it's tough for me.

• 33:38Travis McElroy?

  The part where they smoke them out, where they're just like dropping some dank smoke in there to make the bees all sleepy. I think that part seems cool.

• 33:46Travis McElroy?

  Talk about, you want to share a bowl with your cat, that'll really. Yes, smoke out your cat.

• 33:51Griffin McElroy?

  Like share your like weed.

• 33:52Travis McElroy?

  Share a bowl. Share a bowl with your cat. 420. Smoke some Kush with your cat.

• 33:57Griffin McElroy?

  I've never met a cat where I've been like, what would make this cat better is if it was fucked up and crazy out of its mind.

• 34:03Travis McElroy?

  That's the whole idea with catnip, man. We gave, we gave Olive catnip and she sat on the couch for four hours.

• 34:09Griffin McElroy?

  Damn dude.

• 34:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, dude, it was chill. She was like having a great time. We should go to the money zone.

• 34:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm so tired of talking about cats, guys. Let's go to the money zone for a while.

• 34:30Travis McElroy?

  Hey, do you like cats?

• 34:32Griffin McElroy?

  I love kitty cats Travis so much, stinkers.

• 34:35Travis McElroy?

  They are little stinkers and I love them so much. And you know what? I love kitties so much. They deserve the best, don't they?

• 34:42Griffin McElroy?

  They do.

• 34:43Travis McElroy?

  Right? They're just like us. We deserve the best.

• 34:48Travis McElroy?

  That's why I eat Smalls. Now, I serve my kitties Smalls though. Amelia and Olive, every day, they have a routine. They come in, they wake up Sydney. Sydney goes in, she puts out the food. Olive goes over and eats the Smalls first while Amelia patiently watches and waits her turn. And then after Olive's done, it's Amelia's turn for Smalls. And let me tell you, these kitties love it. Your cats take turns?

• 35:12Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy, man.

• 35:13Travis McElroy?

  That's incredible, Justin.

• 35:15Griffin McElroy?

  That's common cat behavior.

• 35:17Travis McElroy?

  They wait for Sydney's affections too. Olive will come over and get attention and then Amelia will patiently wait her turn. And then once Olive's done, Amelia will take her turn.

• 35:25Griffin McElroy?

  Little baby angel. These baby angels deserve the best.

• 35:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Why, how did I get them so well trained? Well, the answer is Smalls. The favorite with my kitties, if you're looking for a few to pick for your first round, Smooth Bird is their favorite, but they also like Smooth Other Bird.

• 35:41Griffin McElroy?

  Amazing naming conventions.

• 35:42Travis McElroy?

  If you know what I mean. So stop guessing which meals will upset their stomach for a limited time because you are a my brother, my brother and me listener, get 60% off your first order plus free shipping. When you head to smalls.com slash my brother, one last time that 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother.

• 36:01Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, I wanted to say, you are looking healthy, well rested, invigorated lately. Have you been taking care of yourself?

• 36:10Griffin McElroy?

  I have Travis, thanks for asking. I've been taking care of my body as has what I call team G. This is a team of medical professionals that I have found through the zocdoc platform here in our nation's capital of Washington DC where doctors legally have to hide. Did you guys know that in DC doctors, you can't find them, there's no way to just like go and find a doctor normally because they're all whoop whoop, they're all hiding because they don't want you to come to their office because it's hard to do doctor stuff. Zocdoc goes around the whole system. You go on zocdoc.com, you say what you got going on, what's your health insurance coverage is, where you live, they'll show you doctors in your area that are going to be in network.

• 36:55Griffin McElroy?

  They'll even let you schedule appointments right through the ding dang thing.

• 36:58Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, I want you to know, I pictured team G, like one of those scenes in a movie where you're like jogging on a treadmill and you got sensors hooked up to you and you got like one of the, like a mask you're breathing into. Except in this movie, like the doctors write something on a clipboard and then like lean over and show one of the other ones the clipboard and they kind of shake their head like.

• 37:16Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no, not that one. No, I've got nothing but stone cold killers on team G. Honestly, we have new health insurance this year here at, at big giant head incorporated, the actual business that us three do operate. And I had to find a bunch of new doctors because some of my old ones weren't in network and zocdoc let me get that shit done in like cup, with like an hour maybe and let me schedule the appointments and get everything going. It really is like, I don't know, it's such a pain in the ass to find doctors in DC. I was kidding about all of them hiding, but it is a huge pain in the ass doing it. I imagine in, in any city of a certain scale, it's, it seems a difficult process. Pain in your ass. Yep. Try Zocdoc to find a doctor who's right for you.

• 37:58Griffin McElroy?

  So Zocdoc is a free app and website that lets you find and book high quality in-network doctors. So you can find someone you love. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com/MyBrother to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash MyBrother. Zocdoc dot com slash MyBrother. Thanks, Zocdoc, for sponsoring this message.

• 38:19Speaker 05

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited. No matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 39:03Speaker 06

  Hello?

• 39:03Speaker 07

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 39:06Speaker 06

  No, I'm sorry. No sales calls. Goodbye.

• 39:08Speaker 07

  It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 39:13Speaker 06

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I?

• 39:31Speaker 07

  Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast.

• 39:33Speaker 06

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 39:39Speaker 07

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 39:41Speaker 06

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 39:47Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, we've been doing Kitty Talk for so long. I don't usually show off sort of like props in the office, but I do gotta showcase this incredible gift I got from my father-in-law. It's the Garfield phone.

• 39:59Travis McElroy?

  Half an?

• 40:01Griffin McElroy?

  And when you pick up the receiver, he opens his eyes.

• 40:04Travis McElroy?

  That's really good. That's really good.

• 40:08Griffin McElroy?

  But if you do it at a certain level, it does look like he's like about to finish.

• 40:13Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:15Griffin McElroy?

  Lazzanya!

• 40:17Travis McElroy?

  That's the zanya.

• 40:19Travis McElroy?

  I love Mondays!

• 40:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, it's Tuesday!

• 40:25Griffin McElroy?

  Garfield loves every other day.

• 40:27Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 40:28Travis McElroy?

  He loves... Sorry, they don't talk about that enough. The Garfield love... loves Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

• 40:34Griffin McElroy?

  Tuesdays, Thursday, Thursday, all of them, yeah.

• 40:36Travis McElroy?

  He doesn't have a job. Why is Monday any different for him?

• 40:40Griffin McElroy?

  John's gone. He loves John so fuck goddamn much. He does love John so much. Watch the Garfield movie with Chris Pratt. He loves that fucking guy and he'll say it out loud. Okay.

• 41:00Travis McElroy?

  I wanna munch!

• 41:02Travis McElroy?

  Squad!

• 41:06Travis McElroy?

  One, two munch!

• 41:10Travis McElroy?

  See Olympics?

• 41:12Travis McElroy?

  It's... no, it's May the 4th be with you.

• 41:14Travis McElroy?

  Oh!

• 41:16Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 41:17Travis McElroy?

  A thing.

• 41:18Travis McElroy?

  I think that's more... Wanna munch? Ba ba ba ba!

• 41:24Griffin McElroy?

  That is Indiana Jones.

• 41:25Travis McElroy?

  On my squad, squad, squad!

• 41:26Griffin McElroy?

  She munchin' on my squad till I Yoda.

• 41:31Travis McElroy?

  To this tune of Indiana Jones.

• 41:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Travis McElroy?

  Uh, so...

• 41:37Travis McElroy?

  Munch, munch, munch!

• 41:39Griffin McElroy?

  It's something like that.

• 41:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. May the 4th be with you.

• 41:41Griffin McElroy?

  Munch, munch, munch squad, munch, munch, munch squad, munch, munch, munch squad!

• 41:44Travis McElroy?

  Munch, squad!

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  Nobody needs that, though. You know what I mean? I could have done that.

• 41:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:52Travis McElroy?

  Maybe, but nobody needs it.

• 41:53Griffin McElroy?

  Nobody needed it.

• 41:53Travis McElroy?

  Uh, it's, it is May the 4th. We have, uh, two, it's not like today, uh, maybe. I don't know. I didn't check the date. When is May the 4th?

• 42:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, when this comes out.

• 42:02Travis McElroy?

  Ish, really?

• 42:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, day of.

• 42:04Travis McElroy?

  Hell, yeah. Check it out.

• 42:06Griffin McElroy?

  Let's start over and do a whole Star Wars show. People love that shit.

• 42:10Travis McElroy?

  Crumble has unveiled Galaxy Brownie Cookie for Star Wars inspired holiday. Crumble's still around despite the badness of their cookies and their relative inedibility. People continue to consume their products.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  Did you guys ever hear about that scam where?

• 42:25Travis McElroy?

  Why? Does this make you hungry, baby?

• 42:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh. Look at this crumble cookie. It's dripping chocolate.

• 42:33Travis McElroy?

  I'll tell you, when I eat a cookie, what I want it to be is messy.

• 42:36Griffin McElroy?

  I need it, yeah. I need a messy perimeter, an unholdable perimeter around that cookie.

• 42:41Travis McElroy?

  May the 4th is almost here and Crumble is celebrating with something cosmic.

• 42:45Travis McElroy?

  Did you guys hear about that, that Crumble scam?

• 42:47Travis McElroy?

  It's like a play on cosmic.

• 42:49Griffin McElroy?

  It's a cosmic brownie. Yeah, look at it. It's got the frosting. It's got the little multi-colored little.

• 42:53Travis McElroy?

  Galaxy Brownie Cookie.

• 42:55Griffin McElroy?

  Travis has been making the same joke for, we gotta try to let him fire it off.

• 42:58Travis McElroy?

  Let's pull over the car. Hold on.

• 43:00Travis McElroy?

  The Crumble scam, this is true, where somebody claimed Crumble was opening in Australia, but really what they did is they flew to New York, bought a bunch of boxes of Crumble cookies, flew back with them and then sold them as if they were a Crumble affiliate store.

• 43:15Griffin McElroy?

  That's fine.

• 43:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:16Griffin McElroy?

  That's legal to do. That is legal to do there. They are a lot more chill about business.

• 43:21Travis McElroy?

  People did comment on the staleness of the cookies.

• 43:23Griffin McElroy?

  I have to imagine, yeah, they were not fresh out the oven.

• 43:27Travis McElroy?

  Galaxy Brownie Cookie, available today only at Crumble. So heartbreakingly, if you go tomorrow, you'll have to eat other Crumble cookies. So act fast. A brownie cookie smothered in warm fudge glaze and sprinkled with rainbow candy bits, designed to be fudgy and delicious in every bite. Now, they don't say it is. They just said that was the.

• 43:49Travis McElroy?

  That was our intention.

• 43:51Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 43:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:52Travis McElroy?

  May the 4th only comes once a year, so make it count with the Galaxy Brownie Cookie before it's gone. Rich and fudgy and cosmic at every bite. The limited time galaxy brownie cookie will be available while supplies last. I mean, presume, I hope you've got enough to make it through today.

• 44:09Griffin McElroy?

  Through one day, Crumble.

• 44:10Travis McElroy?

  For one day.

• 44:11Travis McElroy?

  I don't understand when, when, when companies do, especially like chains, you know, of like food places do a one day thing. The amount of like just planning to go into the cookie and then buying like the ingredients and stuff to make it. How is just doing it in one day profitable in any way?

• 44:32Griffin McElroy?

  Well, it's not about profit, Trav. It's about the message. It's about letting people know that Crumble likes to have fun. People like Star Wars. So if Crumble can get in your brain and be like, crumble Star Wars, crumble Star Wars, crumble Star Wars. And then any other time you think of one of your favorite Star Wars guys, Darth Sidious, Darth, uh, Darth Grevius. Um, then you're going to say like, damn, I want to eat one of those fudgy crumble cookies right now, but you can't. Cause they were.

• 44:58Travis McElroy?

  But they're not available.

• 44:59Griffin McElroy?

  But they're not available.

• 45:00Travis McElroy?

  They're not available. Now what sucks is like, this is, I have this, that was unlicensed, which you could tell. Doesn't it have like big game energy like?

• 45:10Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, do they not say Star Wars at all during?

• 45:12Travis McElroy?

  In the headline, they say Star Wars holiday inspired, which they can.

• 45:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:17Travis McElroy?

  Say that. Uh, vicious, this is, this is, I like this better because this is just go for it. Vicious biscuit releases spicy hen solo chicken biscuit. Now we're talking.

• 45:27Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 45:29Travis McElroy?

  The home, the original home of unapologetically bold biscuits is introducing the spicy.

• 45:34Travis McElroy?

  Copyright infringement.

• 45:36Travis McElroy?

  I know, hen solo.

• 45:39Travis McElroy?

  Uh, available 21st.

• 45:40Griffin McElroy?

  This feels like a Muppet Babies ass like.

• 45:43Travis McElroy?

  I know. I love it.

• 45:45Griffin McElroy?

  Where they're make believe in a Star Wars story. Gonzo's got his little guy.

• 45:50Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Now see, here's the thing. They have not to this point tipped their hand in any way of calling it a hen solo biscuit. They are terrified. They're so scared.

• 46:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:01Travis McElroy?

  Um, is it because the biscuit is traveling alone?

• 46:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:06Travis McElroy?

  This, the spicy hen solo builds on one of the brand's most popular items and introduces a dry season heat profile that expands the flavor range of its chicken lineup while maintaining the sandwich's easy on the go appeal.

• 46:18Travis McElroy?

  Dry season makes it seem like it's in between like the wet season. It's just like, yeah, crops aren't growing. This is the chicken we've got, man.

• 46:27Griffin McElroy?

  It's been a bad year for the vineyard.

• 46:29Travis McElroy?

  This is our Dust Bowl chicken sandwich.

• 46:32Travis McElroy?

  Now, guys, we're gonna get into, uh, we're gonna get into the real, the real genuine.

• 46:38Griffin McElroy?

  Someone actually got the partnership.

• 46:40Travis McElroy?

  Yes. It's BK too. So you know they're going big. So let's talk about the offerings for The Mandalorian and Grogu, only in theaters May 22nd. Oh, that crown. Oh, that crown, Justin. All right. First off, we got, we're gonna go item by item here. Don't get ahead of us. We got, for Travis, you can tell him about the crown though, cause it's like, it's really good.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  You know how the Mandalorian?

• 47:03Travis McElroy?

  If you were right, it would be crazy.

• 47:04Travis McElroy?

  You know how the Mandalorian has a big T on his face for Travis? Well, in this crown, you can see the top of the T for Travis, but then still the Burger King crown part with the clovers and stuff.

• 47:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:18Travis McElroy?

  It's sick. Like how the Mandalorian always wears his crown, his like helmet kind of precariously perched on top of his head, ready to push it down at any moment.

• 47:29Griffin McElroy?

  It looks like to me, Juice, they got two different cups with Grogu on it.

• 47:33Travis McElroy?

  Let's talk about it, Griff. They're once again targeting the family this dining occasion. The, this time it's with Star Wars, arguably the most widely known collaboration the brand has done in years.

• 47:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:44Travis McElroy?

  The new menu promotes the upcoming movie, The Mandalorian and Grogu. Uh, first up is the BBQ Bounty Whopper, which is layered with bacon, Swiss cheese, vegetables.

• 47:57Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on, no. It can't possibly say vegetables. It can't possibly say vegetables on it, right?

• 48:03Travis McElroy?

  It says vegetable. Hold on, I'll scroll down.

• 48:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cause I fully am not gonna believe this until I see it. Sweet. Yeah, layered with bacon, Swiss cheese, vegetables and a barbecue base sauce. You lost the plot at the end there, huh, bro?

• 48:16Travis McElroy?

  Vegetables and a barbecue base sauce.

• 48:19Travis McElroy?

  We got acorn squash on here, uh.

• 48:22Griffin McElroy?

  This thing's hot and fresh out of the fucking lab, huh?

• 48:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, dude, actually this whole fucking thing's jackfruit. Supertubers is all jackfruit, baby. Gotcha.

• 48:34Travis McElroy?

  This is Grogu's Blue Cookie Shake? Hey, scroll back up so I can see that picture again, because the one that's blowing my mind is like the Chicken Dippers box. Grogu's ears stick out from the side of the box of like chicken sticks. The chicken sticks? Am I to believe that the employees-

• 48:51Travis McElroy?

  Those are chicken fries.

• 48:51Travis McElroy?

  Chicken fries. Am I to believe that the Burger King workers have to fold those out?

• 48:56Griffin McElroy?

  Have to deploy Grogu's ears before each serving, yeah.

• 49:00Travis McElroy?

  What a wild ad. If you haven't been to DQ in a while, when they take your Blizzard- If you, DQ, this is, if you haven't been to DQ in a while, the, when they hand you your Blizzard and before they hand it to you, they flip it upside down, that's probably gonna freak you out, but it is something they all have to do. The, the ears are just like that. It's just part of your routine. You have to pop out the ears. I'm sorry. Get used to it. I'm trying to decide what's going on in the box of Chicken Nugs, because it looks like it's like the top-

• 49:30Travis McElroy?

  I don't think those are nugs, brother.

• 49:31Travis McElroy?

  3% of, of the Mandalorian's helmet, but then the top of it, you get to color in yourself as to what you think-

• 49:38Griffin McElroy?

  Potato croquettes.

• 49:39Travis McElroy?

  Sure, but what's on the box?

• 49:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:42Travis McElroy?

  What's on the box?

• 49:45Griffin McElroy?

  There we go. It's a stormtrooper. It's not the Mando.

• 49:47Travis McElroy?

  It's a stormtrooper. Okay.

• 49:50Travis McElroy?

  This new menu promotes the upcoming movie Mandalorian Grogu, scheduled to reach theaters May 22nd. Okay.

• 49:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we heard about Hedgeburger.

• 49:56Travis McElroy?

  The sandwich is placed in packaging, this is really, the sandwich is placed in packaging that mirrors a bounty hunter's helmet. Then there's Grogu's Blue Cookie Shake. Grogu's Garlic Chicken Fries. And Imperial Cheddar Ranch Tots.

• 50:14Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 50:15Griffin McElroy?

  So like, first off, the box mirrors a bounty hunter's helmet is so fucking wrong-headed. It's so wild. This is Mandal, this is Mandalorian armor that they crafted in the Mandalorian Wars. There's so, Greedo, motherfucker, heard of him? Does he wear a big helmet? I don't think so.

• 50:37Travis McElroy?

  Their armor is made of a very special metal that lots of dorks know about. It's like, not a joke.

• 50:44Griffin McElroy?

  But it's not a bounty hunter is a job and there isn't like a uniform that you there's so many Star Wars bounty hunters.

• 50:51Travis McElroy?

  Greedo was a bounty hunter. He didn't wear a stupid ass thing like this.

• 50:54Griffin McElroy?

  I just said Greedo.

• 50:54Travis McElroy?

  Have you guys even seen Greedo? He doesn't wear a bounty hu-

• 50:58Griffin McElroy?

  The proportions of his rodeo and skull.

• 51:01Travis McElroy?

  You can fit one of these Mandalorian helmets on it. But it's also specifically the Mandalorian, like the main character of the movie. Why did they make it vague like they don't have the rights to say the Mandalorian?

• 51:14Griffin McElroy?

  It does sound like they did.

• 51:15Travis McElroy?

  Because this is a news story Travis. This is original reporting on it by QSR and I'm trying to tell you about it. Additionally, customers can receive one of four collectible cups by buying a bounty bundle.

• 51:27Travis McElroy?

  Dad, did you hear that? Clint!

• 51:29Griffin McElroy?

  Dad?

• 51:30Travis McElroy?

  Clint, they have collectible cups!

• 51:31Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, smash them through my window Kool-Aid man style.

• 51:35Travis McElroy?

  No, this sucks guys. This is no, no, no, no, no. This sucks. Additionally, customers can receive one of four collectible cups by buying a bounty bundle. A special box featuring all four items. A barbecue bounty whopper combo. Or a 12-piece Grogu's garlic chicken fry combo. Clint? Emel? McElroy?

• 51:54Griffin McElroy?

  Don't do it!

• 51:54Travis McElroy?

  Stop the car!

• 51:55Griffin McElroy?

  Down!

• 51:56Travis McElroy?

  Turn around! Go home. Don't- Dad? If you pick up my kids from school and you come home with a bunch of this sloppy food and Star Wars stuff.

• 52:06Griffin McElroy?

  That would kick ass, actually.

• 52:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:10Griffin McElroy?

  Actually, yeah, take it all back.

• 52:12Travis McElroy?

  Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad!

• 52:13Travis McElroy?

  Do it, Dad, do it, but bring it to me to enjoy in private.

• 52:17Griffin McElroy?

  Deliver unto your eldest boy.

• 52:19Travis McElroy?

  Dad, don't dash it to me, Dad!

• 52:21Griffin McElroy?

  Dad, just in some of his Grogu fries.

• 52:23Travis McElroy?

  Dad dash it, dad dash it.

• 52:25Griffin McElroy?

  Dad dash the Grogu fries, please.

• 52:27Travis McElroy?

  I am looking at these like potato cheddar cheese things.

• 52:32Griffin McElroy?

  I think they're fried mac and cheese, maybe.

• 52:34Travis McElroy?

  What were they just in the, the cheesy?

• 52:37Travis McElroy?

  I'm not there yet, cause you.

• 52:38Travis McElroy?

  You mentioned it.

• 52:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're right. They're cheddar ranch tots.

• 52:41Travis McElroy?

  It's right in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, no?

• 52:43Travis McElroy?

  Imperial cheddar ranch.

• 52:45Travis McElroy?

  Thank you very much. If I bit into these not having been told that they were Imperial ranch tots, and that is what I found in the middle of it, I would assume something had gone terribly wrong at the factory or wherever these came from.

• 53:00Griffin McElroy?

  There's a texture to it that's, yeah.

• 53:02Travis McElroy?

  A King Jr. Meal tied to the same theme, the Mandalorian and Grogu King Jr. Meal.

• 53:07Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 53:07Travis McElroy?

  Becomes available April 28th. It will comprise a choice of hamburger or four piece nugget, applesauce and kids fry, choice of milk or apple juice and Mandalorian themed toy.

• 53:19Travis McElroy?

  So not like Grogu would eat.

• 53:22Griffin McElroy?

  Not Imperial apple juice. Like they didn't really have much fun with the kids meal, it sounds like. They saved all of it for adult nerds.

• 53:28Travis McElroy?

  Cause the second I looked at my child, my five year old, and I said, do you want Imperial fries? They'd say, no, I want normal fries.

• 53:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:35Travis McElroy?

  And I'd say, honey, they only have Imperial, like, I don't know.

• 53:39Travis McElroy?

  My kids have watched a lot of YouTube content about baby Yoda eating chicken nuggets.

• 53:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Travis McElroy?

  That was a big, I know it's a big thing. So maybe they're just like trying to tap into that power of baby Yoda.

• 53:51Griffin McElroy?

  Just wanna let you know, Juice, cause you've lost perspective completely that non-parents think that what you just said sounded so fucking insane.

• 53:57Travis McElroy?

  Search YouTube. Search YouTube.

• 53:59Travis McElroy?

  Don't.

• 53:59Griffin McElroy?

  There's just videos of Grogu.

• 54:01Travis McElroy?

  Scary on there.

• 54:02Travis McElroy?

  Burger King was involved, this is the sentence, "The connection between the brand and the franchise is not new. Burger King was involved in promotions tied to the original Star Wars release decades ago." Dude, okay, Ben, with all due respect, man, I don't know if one of your parents was a, was a passive voice sentence or something, Ben, but we gotta get active with these sentences. We gotta, we gotta get active voice. "The campaign is structured to reach across that range of guests." The chain plans to promote the new menu via social media, digital engagement, and advertising, building collaboration with all Disney Studios.

• 54:36Travis McElroy?

  We're trying to get people to watch the movie and eat the food. So we're advertising it.

• 54:43Travis McElroy?

  Trav, you think you're having fun now? Listen to this quote from CMO.

• 54:46Travis McElroy?

  Wait, I also want to jump back. The lack of clarity in the claim that Burger King partnered with them for the release of Star Wars decades ago could include so many different things that they're talking about. Are you talking about the release of the original trilogy like 60 years ago?

• 55:03Griffin McElroy?

  On the ground floor, possibly.

• 55:05Travis McElroy?

  They've always been part of it. Joel Yashinsky says, "We've got a ton of fun social engagement and creative plan for the launch of this program."

• 55:13Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 55:14Travis McElroy?

  It's cool. He adds, "Everything we do is not about a one-hit boost to the business."

• 55:20Griffin McElroy?

  Wow. We're playing long, we're playing 40 chess with Grogu.

• 55:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we're trying to grow our stock value to appease our stockholders.

• 55:27Travis McElroy?

  This is the one where it got so intimate, where I felt like, should I go? He said, "We work with what the property is and find natural innovation and ideas that come from the partnership specifically first."

• 55:41Travis McElroy?

  You're giving it all away.

• 55:42Griffin McElroy?

  Whoever this is, is like really keyed in.

• 55:45Travis McElroy?

  Joel Yashinsky is probably my favorite person who we've had on this show so far.

• 55:49Griffin McElroy?

  The things they're saying are so reasonable.

• 55:51Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we put the fucking little guy on the box. You know what I mean? Like, kids love this little idiot.

• 55:58Travis McElroy?

  We had meetings where we like agreed on the budget for the ad campaign and like what the designs would be. And then like we put those on there and then we like put them up for sale.

• 56:09Travis McElroy?

  McDonald's was gonna give him some money and then we offered him actually like a little bit more money than that. So.

• 56:15Griffin McElroy?

  And we're reporting Crumble, we're reporting all of the places that are doing these unauthorized partnerships. God, I love Grogu.

• 56:24Travis McElroy?

  I do love Grogu. Can I just, so that's the, that's all I got to tell you about the Grogu meal. Definitely gonna be buying a lot of those, but I do, I, I do just want to show you guys, there is some new merch doing the Disney parks.

• 56:36Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 56:37Travis McElroy?

  You know how I feel about May the 4th and I'm gonna share this tab with you, cause like, things are getting a little twisted this year with the merch. Cause we are getting. Uh, we've been waiting for it a long time. We got Dark Side theme merch coming this year.

• 56:52Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. Finally Darth Maul ears.

• 56:55Travis McElroy?

  Darth Maul ears, dude, that's twisted. Celebrate your allegiance for Shadow Lord himself Darth Maul with an ear headband.

• 57:06Travis McElroy?

  Featuring, look at this guys, look at this fucking dude.

• 57:08Griffin McElroy?

  Holy fucking shit.

• 57:09Travis McElroy?

  Featuring his iconic, yes, right?

• 57:11Griffin McElroy?

  We're looking at a Darth Maul graphic tee with a long sleeve tee underneath that says Darth Maul on the sleeves.

• 57:18Travis McElroy?

  It says Darth Maul on the sleeves.

• 57:21Griffin McElroy?

  It's so goddamn cool.

• 57:24Travis McElroy?

  For those who wanna wear their Dark Side pride on their sleeve, get it? That's not me editorializing, that's what the words say. This Darth Maul inspired tee from Her Universe is available only on DisneyStore.com. That's awesome.

• 57:37Travis McElroy?

  That's not a play on words.

• 57:38Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome dude.

• 57:39Travis McElroy?

  That's not a play on words. Look at this.

• 57:42Griffin McElroy?

  Look at this fashionable Dark Side varsity jacket. Holy, I mean, it kinda slaps.

• 57:48Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine if you were wearing that and ran into like Darth Vader who for some reason existed in real life and he'd be like, what the fuck am I doing with your jacket?

• 57:57Griffin McElroy?

  Guys, I'm so, we gotta describe this shit. So we're looking at a circuit, this varsity jacket on the back of a large, large circular emblem. And it has some, some flair on the top and bottom of it. It says, "Join the Dark Side" at the bottom. And then we have two Darth Vader helmets looking away from each other within the circular emblem. And then right between those, it says Darth Vader in a sort of vertical font. Just the name Darth Vader.

• 58:22Travis McElroy?

  Darth Vader. It looks like the name has sliced Darth Vader's head in half. And it's just like the two sides fell away.

• 58:30Griffin McElroy?

  Join the dark side, Darth Vader's dead now and there's an opening.

• 58:35Travis McElroy?

  Oh god, uh, with embroidery, artwork and an invitation to join the dark side of the back, even the darkest of Sith Lord won't be able to resist this purchase come May 4th. I know I won't.

• 58:45Griffin McElroy?

  Who the fuck are you? Who are you? Why are you?

• 58:47Travis McElroy?

  This is from, well, this is.

• 58:47Travis McElroy?

  That's written by Darth Maul.

• 58:49Griffin McElroy?

  This is Disney Parks blog. Okay, I thought this was a Disney press release.

• 58:52Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, also, this.

• 58:55Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, the pod racing merch fucks.

• 58:56Travis McElroy?

  This kinda kicks ass, cuz they got pod racing merch.

• 58:59Griffin McElroy?

  But we can't like actually.

• 59:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's like not, well, we can just look for a second.

• 59:02Travis McElroy?

  Oh, sick.

• 59:04Travis McElroy?

  Fuck yeah, dude. The Moss Hesp shirt. That's, Griff, that's cool as hell though, dude. You'd totally wear that. Now look at this. They got a Skywalker racing jacket.

• 59:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sort of a pit crew NASCAR vibe, but it does say Mazaez on the front. And on the back, it says Skywalker in big letters.

• 59:24Travis McElroy?

  It looks like it was actually like crew swag for a movie about Skywalker racing at Mazaez.

• 59:32Griffin McElroy?

  No, you guys remember Phantom Menace?

• 59:36Griffin McElroy?

  When the little boy walks out there and he gets it, but he's wearing his fucking like cool jacket like he's Lightning McQueen or something.

• 59:44Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 59:45Griffin McElroy?

  Like Days of Thunder sort of style. And everyone's like, oh, it's Anakin. He's so fucking cool.

• 59:50Travis McElroy?

  And he just turns and says, kachow.

• 59:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 59:53Travis McElroy?

  My name is Justin McRae. I need to, yes, I'm calling your regards to my dad Clint McRoy's credit card. I need to cancel it. Um, please don't let him make any charges for the next week because he's gonna buy fucking four of these jackets. Like I just know it, man. Please.

• 1:00:06Travis McElroy?

  Please.

• 1:00:07Travis McElroy?

  Clint, walk away.

• 1:00:07Travis McElroy?

  Do you mean four for himself or one for him and three for us?

• 1:00:11Griffin McElroy?

  You know, he'll get us matching ones.

• 1:00:13Travis McElroy?

  Anyway, that's the, that's all the May 4th magic coming for you. Dang, I wish I hadn't secretly wanted that racing gear so much then. I really feel it really took the wind out of my sails.

• 1:00:24Travis McElroy?

  Hey, speaking of magic, I want to say thank you sincerely for all the support we received in the Max Fun Drive. It is a magical time of year that reminds me every year, reminds us about the community that we've built and the support we get every year. And thank you again. It really does mean the world to us. Thank you.

• 1:00:40Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:00:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Um, I want to thank Montane for these for a theme song, My Life is Better With You. It is such an amazing energy that it conjures up that we then kind of just like surf the wave for, you know, an hour of jokes. I'm so very, very grateful. And also wanted to say thank you to everybody who came out to the Renaissance Fair this past weekend.

• 1:01:01Travis McElroy?

  God, I hope somebody came.

• 1:01:02Griffin McElroy?

  I hope some people come to see us at the Renaissance.

• 1:01:04Travis McElroy?

  I'm sure somebody was there.

• 1:01:06Griffin McElroy?

  Um, yeah, uh, it's, it, thank you for, for all of your support over all of these years. It means more than we could ever say.

• 1:01:15Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're the best.

• 1:01:17Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, we got some merch over at the merch store, macaroym merch.com. Uh, we got the Count Donut Piss Vault sticker that Nate Freeberg made that keeps Count, Count Donuts, uh, Cape safe and free of urine. Uh, got some new mugs. Got a, don't talk to me until I've had my, oh, these are here. They're here. New mugs from the 100% podcast sort of, uh, line. We got, don't talk to me till I've had my podcasts on mug. And then there's also a beautiful glass mug that says, I like all butts and no government. Um, which also you can get in a digital cross stitch pattern. We're, this, this corner of the market.

• 1:01:56Travis McElroy?

  That's wild. If you think about it, it all starts with me stopping at that weird Chevron on Al Greer. You know what I mean? And not having a coffee cup.

• 1:02:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Um, there's also, you can get-

• 1:02:09Travis McElroy?

  Sliding doors, you know, sliding doors.

• 1:02:11Griffin McElroy?

  You can also get with one of these mugs, a new strain of tea. My brother, my brother in tea. You can buy it either by itself or in a bundle-

• 1:02:20Travis McElroy?

  Not testosterone. By the way, we are not making our own line of testosterone. That would be sick, but no.

• 1:02:25Griffin McElroy?

  It's a T E A, like the hot beverage with, uh, with all the flavors and stuff. Uh, you can get that either alone or in a bundle with one of these amazing mugs. Uh, 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will be donated to First Nations Development Institute. Uh, their mission is to uplift and sustain the life ways and economies of native communities through advocacy, financial support and knowledge sharing. Uh, one last thing, also, you can preorder The Adventure Zone Story and Song, the last book in the Adventure Zone Balance Graphic Novel Adaptation Series over at theadventurezonecomic.com. We've got it. We got our advanced copies in and it's, uh, it's, it's a really, really, uh, beautiful thing. I'm so very proud of it and excited for it to come out.

• 1:03:07Travis McElroy?

  You say so yourself. Jesus.

• 1:03:08Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, actually one last, last thing. Um, we donated an attendance package for Champions Grove to the No Theatre of Cincinnati.

• 1:03:16Travis McElroy?

  To help them raise money for their next season, they put it up for auction. So you can go there, bidding goes until May 8th at 9 a.m. And there's your last chance to get to attend Champions Grove this year. You can go to bit.ly slash CG auction and bid on it there and possibly get to come to Champions Grove this year and support the No Theater Cincinnati, which is a wonderful theater here in Cincinnati. It does a lot of great stuff. Yeah, go check it out. Bit.ly slash CG auction.

• 1:03:48Griffin McElroy?

  I have a, I have a little thing of antibiotic ointment. I don't know.

• 1:03:54Travis McElroy?

  Can you wait to explode when it hits the wall? That'd be cool. Can I throw the, should I throw the sunglasses? If they, if they break, then that's like a sign that I shouldn't do this anymore.

• 1:04:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Yeah. They're not expensive sunglasses, right?

• 1:04:05Travis McElroy?

  I don't buy, fuck, listen, mini soapbox. I don't fucking buy expensive sunglasses. I know my dumb ass. No more than $10 on these motherfuckers.

• 1:04:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they'll end up in the ocean for sure. All right.

• 1:04:15Travis McElroy?

  I gotta, I gotta take my headphones off.

• 1:04:17Griffin McElroy?

  That's fine.

• 1:04:18Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to put them back in though, so. Yeah.

• 1:04:20Griffin McElroy?

  Say your name. Okay.

• 1:04:23Travis McElroy?

  They're already out. Sorry guys, they're out.

• 1:04:25Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Don't throw them at the chair. Throw them at the wall. He can't hear us. At the wall!

• 1:04:31Griffin McElroy?

  Wow.

• 1:04:31Travis McElroy?

  That was pretty cool, actually.

• 1:04:33Griffin McElroy?

  It did actually go right into camera. That looked fucking sick. Wait. What's he looking for? It did look like they split into several pieces.

• 1:04:44Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, we lost one lens.

• 1:04:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Griffin McElroy?

  There we go. We lost one lens, but they're still functional.

• 1:04:49Travis McElroy?

  They broke. They broke. It's done. They broke. It's done.

• 1:04:53Griffin McElroy?

  Say your name.

• 1:04:54Travis McElroy?

  It's done. I can't hear what you're saying, but. Say your name.

• 1:04:57Griffin McElroy?

  Name.

• 1:04:58Travis McElroy?

  Your name, Justin.

• 1:05:00Griffin McElroy?

  Say your name.

• 1:05:01Travis McElroy?

  Say your name. My name? It's Justin. You guys know that. What the fuck? My name is Travis McElroy.

• 1:05:06Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 1:05:07Travis McElroy?

  This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad, square on the lips.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.