#580 - David Spade

David Spade is a stand-up comedian and actor. His new special “Dandelion” is streaming now on Prime Video. You can also check out his podcast “Fly on the Wall” with Dana Carvey. David Spade returns to talk about the time he rolled up on a fireworks stand to check the Joe Dirt vibes, movies he could have made with the late Chris Farley, and the never-ending quest to be ageless in Hollywood. David Spade: https://www.instagram.com/davidspade ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ DraftKings: Pick 6 from DraftKings is the most fun way to play fantasy sports. Download the DraftKings Pick Six app NOW and use code THEO. That’s code THEO for new customers to play $5, get $50 in bonus picks. Better payouts. Bigger wins. Only with Pick6 from DraftKings. The Crown is yours. https://draftkings.com BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. BlueChew: Go to http://bluechew.com and use code THEO to try your first month of BlueChew for free - just pay $5 shipping. Rocket Money: Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name - This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von - in the survey so they know I sent you! Oracle: Go to http://oracle.com/THEO to see if you can cut your current cloud bill in half when you switch to OCI. ------------------------------------------------- Gambling Problem? Call one eight hundred gambler. Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven, or visit c c p g dot org in Connecticut. Must be eighteen plus, age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick6 not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void where prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus awarded as non-withdrawable Pick Six Bonus Picks that expire in fourteen days. Limited time offer. Terms at pick six dot draftkings dot com slash promos. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. Right here, we've got some new, new tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on July the 9th, Rochester, New York on July

• 1:23Theo Von?

  the 10th, and Detroit, Michigan on July 11th and 12th at the Fox Theater. As well, we have shows upcoming in Miami, Cedar Rapids, St. Paul, Fargo, Rapid City, Winnipeg, and Calgary. You can get all your tickets at theovon.com/TOUR. Thank you so much for the support. Today's guest is a legendary comedian and actor. He's a friend of mine, probably my closest friend in Hollywood. I'll say that, or out of that area, you know? And I just feel blessed to know him.

• 2:07Theo Von?

  He's got a new special, Dandelion, streaming now on Prime Video. You know his classic movies, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Joe Dirt.

• 2:19Theo Von?

  This guy's got a big heart. I'll tell you that. And one of the biggest senses of humor that exists. I'm happy to welcome back today's guest, Mr. David Spade.

• 2:48Theo Von?

  Alright, we ready?

• 2:49Speaker 01

  We ready? Waiting, waiting. This is the fucking waiting game.

• 2:55Theo Von?

  Waiting for Gal Gadot, have you seen that movie? That play?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Waiting for Gal, yeah, waiting, I like Gal Gadot.

• 3:01Theo Von?

  Waiting for Gal Gadot, it's like a new, it's a female take on...

• 3:06Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 3:08Theo Von?

  You haven't seen that?

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Waiting on Gal Gadot? Oh, I would wait on her.

• 3:12Theo Von?

  No, it's in a, it's a, it's a, um...

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Waiting on, Waiting on Godot, that one?

• 3:17Theo Von?

  It's a book that her assistant wrote.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  There's one called Waiting on, is that true? That's a good one, if it is. You know what's a good one? Waiting on...

• 3:26Theo Von?

  Sorry, Waiting on who?

• 3:27Speaker 01

  That's Rachel Zegler. That's what hers, that's what hers, that's what the head of Disney wrote. That book.

• 3:34Theo Von?

  Waiting on Rachel Zegler. Dude, well, what happened? They didn't put, what happened with that whole thing? Um, they didn't put little people in it, right? First? Is that what happened?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Oh, in Snow White?

• 3:46Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Snow White, I think the problem was, uh... There was a, I don't think there's any problem with casting her. Gal Gadot is gorgeous, she's a good wicked queen. I think they, they started with the dwarfs and, uh... They, and they made them, I don't know what happened. Dwarfs should, I think the idea was they should work. Like, if...

• 4:08Theo Von?

  Right, little people should have the ability...

• 4:10Speaker 01

  There's, there's seven jobs out of the 10 a year. So, let's give them these 10, these seven. And then, uh, I don't thi, I would leave it up to them. Do you guys wanna work? You know? I sound like it's so horrible, you guys? I mean, listen, there's a lot that work. People say Peter Dinklage, but they can't name 10 more that are, that work a lot. So, hell, leave it up to them.

• 4:33Theo Von?

  Well, yeah, well, I think they also, I think it got pretty D E I here too. Which is fine, but it's like, if they were wide, like.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Is the first one, is that, that's not, um.

• 4:45Theo Von?

  These are the originals.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Dave Grohl. Is this the first guy?

• 4:48Theo Von?

  Yeah, I mean, I think his wife left him, he hasn't been, he hasn't been doing well.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  He's standing, oh, yeah, wife kicked him out.

• 4:55Theo Von?

  And first of all, that's Friar Tuck, who they obviously just repurposed from Robin Hood. So that's not cool.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  Oh, right. And, and, uh, so they just, this is their new version. It's exact.

• 5:05Theo Von?

  And who is that? That's like 49ers quarterback that.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:09Theo Von?

  Throws a park. That guy, what's his name?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  That, the J J Walker is close to the back.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  David, can you pull your mic up closer?

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Closer than this?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  That's what guys say when they put their wiener in my face. Can it go a little closer? I go, why? What are we doing? This isn't a blowjob. They go, no, no, no. Just try to touch the back of your throat with it. I go, but that sounds like it's heading towards a beach. Oh, is he talking about Kaepernick?

• 5:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, there's your boy right there. And who's the last guy at the end of the line? That is, um.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  That guy?

• 5:40Theo Von?

  No.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  That's Grohl.

• 5:41Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Who's the guy in the back?

• 5:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, the guy in the back.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  That's a woman. No, that isn't.

• 5:46Theo Von?

  It could be.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  That guy's just a homeless dude that walked on his set.

• 5:52Theo Von?

  Temporary layoff.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  They really got F'd on Snow White, though. That is, uh, it did not work in any way, shape or form. So.

• 5:59Theo Von?

  And I guess people didn't like it.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  And then Minecraft came along and beat the fucking shit out of it.

• 6:04Theo Von?

  Well, also, Snow White, it should be about the fentanyl problem, huh?

• 6:08Speaker 01

  I think China White was.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  I was around for China White when I was a kid. Like, that was the, uh, I was so lucky because you used to do a little sniffy jiffy, I heard. And, uh, it is, um, fun. There are negatives. But we always start with the positives, especially about that. If I could afford more when I was parking cars and being a busboy, I would have, uh, definitely gone crazy. I could not, thank God. I could do a quarter gram in a weekend, then I just, I could only afford 25 bucks. That was it. And, uh.

• 6:41Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Even that wasn't money well spent, but don't get all excited. You're getting a boner. It is exciting. I mean, talking about it, doing it, it was fun. It was hard to just. Quit it, but it's just, I just watch and you go, no way to have a career. There's no way to have anything good with all this pressure and shit you gotta do. And people like to rat you out and people like to say, this guy, you know, he's like all fucking deesh, deesh.

• 7:04Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Little power flower now and then. So if they start getting that word out there. I luckily never got that word. I didn't do any of the whole SNL and that's the funniest part is that I did dabble a little bit before that, just because I was in fucking showbiz.

• 7:17Theo Von?

  And you're from Arizona, Scottsdale.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Snotsdale, yeah. Well, it doesn't mean, it wasn't really the cocaine capital of the world, but you know, I was in the comedy biz and a couple of guys had it and I was like, I would partake just for fun. And, uh, obviously, and then

• 7:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, brother.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  But one time I did a lot and I was like,

• 7:36Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  I feel like I should go to the hospital, you know?

• 7:42Theo Von?

  And you'll walk over there? That's the craziest is?

• 7:45Speaker 01

  No, I fucking sprinted. No, because the funny thing is you just turn into JonBenet. One bump and I'm like, I'm a Yankee doodle dandy and I'm feeling great. And then I, I, I, I made my friend drive me. And I got there and he's like, and it was freezing and I was shaking and tight. And, and he goes, you gotta go in there. And I, and he goes, but they're gonna ask, because I did stand up for about a year.

• 8:08Theo Von?

  Right.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  And they go, they're gonna ask and they're gonna,

• 8:11Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  They're gonna have to call the police. I go, no, no, no. Extra scared. And he cranks the heater on in the car and I'm starting to fucking sweat. But this is a good friend because he was there with me for three hours. He goes, I'll let you, you should go in there in a second, but just tell me more. And I was like, I was calming down. This was the trick. I didn't know this. And my heart was going from like 3,000 over 2,000 till I started to get back to normal and then it got light out. And then I go, let's go. So gross. And then I go, I'll never do it again. Four days later, hey dude.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  I'm fucking jinking.

• 8:50Theo Von?

  What a great guy.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  And they make me jump.

• 8:57Theo Von?

  Javanay, brother.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Dude, it's funny.

• 9:00Theo Von?

  Beautiful.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  In those days, first of all, because it reminded me of my old car because this place is out in the middle of nowhere, next to some junkyard where we're shooting. This is a nice area. I mean, it's a nice area if you have no money. So I, I used to go to this junkyard and go to pick apart. You know what that is? Where you have, they have all the cars out there.

• 9:18Theo Von?

  You can go looking for what you need.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  And you get a part for your own car. No one thinks this ultra pussy did that. I'd go out there with a goddamn socket wrench, looking for a Subaru brat handle. You know, they go, go out there. And that's how all that Joe Dirt stuff started because I'm like, I did that, get an alternator, put it in my Volvo, put it in wrong, uh, and just live that gross life. And it's 110 degrees out there and you're burning your hands. I remember my old Volvo was a 62 and I, I, um, it looked like a planter. I should have shaved the top off, filled it with dirt and I would take, if I ever had a date, which was rare, it was leaking a quart of oil a day.

• 10:00Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  So for those of you at home that don't know, that's a lot. And I had to buy a quart, uh, I mean, like a, like a box of Pennzoil and then every day at some point I had to put a quart in. And if you ever had a date, it was so embarrassing because at some point I had to have them put a quart in, you know? And I had to explain how to do it. And I, I had to sit in the front seat and go, no, you gotta poke the hole and then you gotta poke one of the other side and.

• 10:25Theo Von?

  Well, that was like the original Viagra, I think was like, you'd have to pull your cover and put a quart of oil in it, you know?

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:31Theo Von?

  But the rev of the engine, we keep everybody.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  I'm sorry. Yeah, maybe.

• 10:35Theo Von?

  To be sexually possible, you know? But then now it's like, dude, just you have people literally drinking oil and blue chews or whatever. It's like, it's all on the responsibility of a man.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  There's, there's a new problem where it's like. I don't want this guy screaming at me again. The microphone's too far away from my mug. So there's a new problem with with a lot of people on medication and I it when I grew up, I don't think anyone was now. Did we have autism? Did we have ADD? But it just people thought you're weird. That's all you know. So or just different. And then now people are on uppers, downers. So there's that and some boners go away. That's what I'm hearing. So that's why blue chew and boner pills are everywhere and and they're for younger people, not just people.

• 11:25Theo Von?

  You'll see, you can't even get a kid's diaper off because he's all winged up.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  He's rotted up?

• 11:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Fucking rock hard. Winged up? Is that one?

• 11:34Theo Von?

  I mean, I don't know what these.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Fucking sundial in there. I like no picture, no picture for that.

• 11:42Theo Von?

  Sometimes like you'll go to the dad, you'll be like that.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, good job, dude.

• 11:46Theo Von?

  But nothing crazy and they're not big. It's nothing you can keep a spare key on or anything.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  You can hang your coat. No, no, I know. Baby boners are really, I feel like when I go to the gas station and and they always have like those sort of fake ones right there.

• 12:03Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, like rhinoceros. Two billion, huh?

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Impulse buy and I go, I don't know. And I'm getting my stuff. Here's my pretzels. And they're like, hey, rod for the road. I'm like, why not? I mean, I'm going to Irvine. It's a long drive. Who wants a boner to drive around anyway? I don't know if that's what they're for.

• 12:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, I don't get them. I don't get a lot of like manmade boners, whatever they're called anymore. I get mine. Yeah, there's some powers in vicious pussy serpent.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Extreme rod.

• 12:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 12:36Theo Von?

  Actually, this is kind of merged with like the fireworks circuit. I think these things and fireworks are so close to being just compatible.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:45Theo Von?

  Dude, I heard a story that you that we had, we just had a bus driver when we're doing touring for stand up.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:52Theo Von?

  And he. Either he or his brother had driven you and one time you stopped at a fireworks stand and went in and did your Joe Dirt bit. Is that true?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Well, I think we had the same driver because I think he texted me and said, I got Theo now. But I was, I don't do a lot of bus tours and we were, I think in Kentucky, it was perfecto for Joe Dirt. And so, so many people were saying, were knowing me from Joe Dirt that I said, uh, fuck, there are fireworks stands here. Like there were in Arizona when I grew up. And so I said, let's, let's find one and pull over. I just want to go in and see what they have, you know?

• 13:31Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  See the new stuff. You got the good stuff? I did ask him if they got the good stuff. And then, uh, so the funny part was we went in and it was sort of an older woman and, and two young guys. And they knew me right away, but I did have a hat on in shades, but they knew it right away. And then they took me around and showed me all their ones. The Godfather. This one, uh, you know, it's basically just, basically you get to a point where what North Korea has.

• 13:55Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  It's really, it gets very extreme. We, when I grew up, black cats, the basics, M80s, uh, Roman candles were a hit.

• 14:04Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Um, and then whistling, uh, pussy chasers. That's what we called them in the movie and then we had to switch it to kitty chaser.

• 14:13Theo Von?

  Oh, really? Is that true?

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Whistling bungle, yeah. And now, uh, spleens flitters. Yeah, me and Fred Wolf just made these up. Some, some sound real.

• 14:22Theo Von?

  Them whisker biscuits, those honky lighters are for sure.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, cherry bombs was real. Kicking whistling bungles is fake. But we had quarter sticks, M80s. We'd go to Mexico and get a quarter sticks and half sticks of dynamite.

• 14:38Theo Von?

  Really?

• 14:38Speaker 01

  No supervision at all. Yeah.

• 14:41Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's when they have real dynamite, that's not fireworks anymore.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  No, it gets in a different area.

• 14:46Theo Von?

  Yeah, like you should join a labor union.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  They're like, oh, they open your trunk, they go, I go, I've got fireworks. They're like, this isn't AR 15. I go, I know, fire comes out the front. It's, it's, it's very murky, uh, what you can describe as fireworks these days.

• 15:00Theo Von?

  Yeah, we had, I'm trying to think, the craziest were fire don't works. Like the ones where you'd light them and it would just come out the other side? Or you would light them and then your stepdad would call your mom a whore and just drive off? You're like, how is this even connected?

• 15:14Speaker 01

  It was like, oh, is this a?

• 15:16Theo Von?

  Fireworks that could tell a misfires and hits area near a crowd of people and sets tree on fire. Oh, I think this was part of MGK's outfit.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  This part of his outfit. Dude, how bad did you fucking miss? You're just aiming for the air.

• 15:34Theo Von?

  Oh, they should make the fireworks when you light them and then they only hit a pedophile when they take off.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was pedophile chasers.

• 15:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, and just light them up in DC.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  This looks like the inside of the Minecraft movie when they bring the chicken jockey out. Have you seen that? People light fireworks in there now.

• 15:48Theo Von?

  Uh, I haven't seen it.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  There's a part of the movie that something happens and when you used to throw popcorn at the screen and now they've gone, now they get in fights and they light off firecrackers and it goes bananas. So they have to stop the movie now.

• 16:00Theo Von?

  Is it like, um, like, kind of like Rocky or Pitcher?

• 16:02Speaker 01

  A little bit worse because they were contained and they, okay, there's something's gonna wrong go wrong. Is this Terry?

• 16:09Theo Von?

  This is like, uh.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Is this backing up Terry? Let's see it. Are we allowed to show this?

• 16:14Theo Von?

  It's the darker side of fireworks here.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  I don't know if this is the guy that should be lighting him and running. He should sort of be kicking back about a hundred feet away.

• 16:26Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, this is crazy, dude.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  These guys do not look like professionals for sure. They don't even know where to light it.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  This is guys make a wish foundation, want to light fireworks.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Get out of there, Terry.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  No one helps him.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Help him.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  I'm like, what are you doing, Terry? Help fucking Terry. He's blinded. He can't see the goddamn control panel.

• 17:00Theo Von?

  God.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  It's so funny. I cannot stand to watch people on that just film things and never get involved. They laugh their fucking ass off no matter what.

• 17:12Theo Von?

  Did you see the guy who fell in the water the other day?

• 17:15Speaker 01

  No.

• 17:16Theo Von?

  Uh, bring up that guy who they paid, they, they owed him like three or $400 to get into the water of like a flash flood, basically.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  No, I'm sure he's dead.

• 17:24Theo Von?

  It was a beautiful young man. I don't know how he's doing. Um, see if you can find that, dude.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  While we're doing.

• 17:31Theo Von?

  The craziest was like, the saddest was we had a guy by us, a dad, and he was like. Just like barely a day. He was like, kind of like a whimsical kind of dad. Like wished he'd never probably been married. Um, to a, and I'm gonna say this fast, so I don't sound like sexist or anything. Woman, you know? And he would only get his kids smoke bombs, so they would light like a million smoke bombs. But they're cool, but they would have nothing. And they would do so many, it would look like that Indian holiday or whatever. You know the one where like, suddenly you see this bunch of Indian people crossing the street? Who looked like they got attacked by like an Easter. Um, like a Easter chalkboard or something, you know?

• 18:11Speaker 01

  Like they clap the.

• 18:13Theo Von?

  Yes, like somebody just emptied.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Or LeBron at the Laker game goes like that.

• 18:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, like it was Easter Sunday and LeBron was just firing off right in front of him.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  See, yeah, smoke bombs aren't as fun as they sound. Uh, you need more shit going on. Is this it? Oh yeah, there's fire crafts in the Minecraft, see?

• 18:31Theo Von?

  In the movie theater?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Look at my fucking story checks out.

• 18:36Theo Von?

  Oh my God, and who did this? Israel?

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is a, this is Gaza.

• 18:40Theo Von?

  This is crazy.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Like we say Gaza, we laugh. So fucking uncool.

• 18:46Theo Von?

  It's so sad.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  It's a comedy show.

• 18:49Theo Von?

  Oh, it's hard if sometimes you got, hey, you know what a police officer told me one time? He said that they'll have, they'll show up in a place with a bunch of murders? And you'll see police officers stand outside laughing because it's a thing that happens to people when stuff's painful.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's so serious.

• 19:03Theo Von?

  He says they do it.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Well, that's what comedians do. It's too, too heavy duty.

• 19:07Theo Von?

  Dude, well, the reason we brought you here is because you have a comedy special coming out, man.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that's right.

• 19:11Theo Von?

  First of all, thank you for coming, dude.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  No, of course.

• 19:14Theo Von?

  You look great, dude.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  I love seeing you. Thank you, dude.

• 19:16Theo Von?

  You've been drinking tomato juice or something? Remember when V8 was the only healthy thing?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  I don't think there's one tomato in V8. I don't know what's in it. They were like, this is the fucking shit when you were growing up.

• 19:27Theo Von?

  Oh dude, yeah. And rich guys would pour it in their engine or whatever as well.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  And some people poured in their butt.

• 19:33Theo Von?

  Yeah, yes. I'm like, really rich guys would pour it in their butt.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  I had V8, it was, it was never, I never liked it. Um, it was tomato juice and I think vegetable juice.

• 19:44Theo Von?

  But it, like, who drank it? I think like a mom would drink it if they were healthy or they were trying to make a baby or whatever.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  It didn't get around my squad, but I know that I heard about it and I was grossed out by it. Uh, you know what's funny is I was just in Las Vegas. Oh, you know, we went to a fight. I was gonna tell you this. We went to a UFC fight, right? Theo and I went to a fight, you know, about a year or so ago. And you know what I called you to go to this fight? I thought it was in Vegas and it was in Florida.

• 20:13Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  And I, and then you had a gig that night anyway.

• 20:15Theo Von?

  But I was a great card. You, me, and also your, um.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Jody.

• 20:19Theo Von?

  Jody.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:21Theo Von?

  And also the comedian, famous comedian.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Oh, Dennis.

• 20:26Theo Von?

  And Dennis Millerall.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:28Theo Von?

  That was hilarious.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  So, so do you remember the story? Did I already tell you this? You, you know it obviously. So this time I just did a corporate yesterday at Vegas. So I'm staying at the area, Aria, short for, named after Ariana Grande.

• 20:40Theo Von?

  Nah, uh.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know. And, um, so I'm over there and it's connected to the hotel we were at.

• 20:46Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  And the day we went to the show, the, uh, you like to go early to the fights. As we know, because you go help set up the chairs and armor all the ropes. And, uh, you go in, cause the fight started like fucking one. I'm like, we just landed and you're like, you want to go there? You want to go to the hotel first? I'm like, well, I think it's at seven. And you're like, and you're being so nice going, oh, you want to go, you want to wait till seven? And I'm like, yeah, because that's when the good ones start. They're on TV and it's still three hours. And for Spade to sit for three hours is fucking rough with these brittle fucking bones. So you're like, cool, cool. We'll go at seven. And I didn't know that you wanted to go really bad earlier. So we're eating and I'm like, this, this spaghetti is good. You're like, let's fucking go. So I have a car taking us. It's, it's like a black Suburban, right?

• 21:32Speaker 01

  So.

• 21:33Theo Von?

  AC in it.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  We go out front. He's not there. And it's so weird cause they always get there early. And you're like, well, we gotta go. It's quarter to seven and we gotta be there at seven. And we're next to the arena and I'm like, fuck, where's this guy? And then he hits me up and goes, hey dude, you go, let's get an Uber. And I go, well, give him a second. And then I go, he goes, oh, I blew, I spaced. I'm sending another car. It'll be there in a second. I go, we're in a hurry. He goes, it's, it's very close. So this, and I see you're janking. First I've seen you kind of get mad.

• 21:59Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Cause I was getting mad too. Cause I'm like, fuck, what, what is, where's this guy? And plus we're stressed. So. The suburban pulls up, we jump in and the guy goes, okay, what are you going to? And he goes, you're Theo? And you're like, yeah, and I'm like, hmm. And then I go, this is my driver? And then I looked down and we started-

• 22:17Theo Von?

  It was international fight week.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was. This is good. This is how he sounds. This actually sounds like him. It's not, nothing bad.

• 22:22Theo Von?

  Fair.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  So then the driver texts me and goes, hey, did you just pull out? I just saw you. And I go, wait, is this not the car? And I go, Theo, what is this? And he goes, I called an Uber, dude. It's taking too long. I go, okay. So we go and now I go, and the funny part was, I go, hey dude, all right. If, if you're going to this T-Mobile, we gotta go in the loading dock. That's where we have to get our tickets and enter. And he goes, oh no, that's only for VIP special.

• 22:48Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  And I go, right.

• 22:50Theo Von?

  And then he goes, you want VIP special?

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we go, no. And he goes, oh, you have to be special. And I go, oh, we're, we're special. And he goes, no, no, that's for special people. And I'm like, I get it. And Theo goes, no, he's special. He does movies and stuff. And he looks back and he goes, no, he no special. Why do you know I'm no special, you fuck? So, uh, he wouldn't take us. So then you, you just go, let's just get out.

• 23:17Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  So we just got out in the street and we saw a door. And then they go, oh, you-

• 23:24Theo Von?

  Wrong door.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta go to the loading-

• 23:26Theo Von?

  This for animals and like lighting?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  For all of Noah's Ark's animals. And so they go, so we're trying to get ahold of everyone. And they go, you're, you're not at the special door. We go, I know, this fucking guy wouldn't believe it. So we had to find a way to get either all the way to the other side or cut through. They finally sent someone to get us.

• 23:43Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  But it was quite humiliating. The guy didn't believe for a second we were special.

• 23:48Theo Von?

  Not at all. I even showed him a video of yours from one of your movies. And he laughed.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  That's funny.

• 23:53Theo Von?

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• 24:38Theo Von?

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• 25:23Theo Von?

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• 25:55Theo Von?

  Yeah, recently I was paying for something, butcher bargain or I don't know what it was, something, this monthly meat deal where they sending you meat. And I didn't know I was, I didn't know I was still paying for it. And it was at my old address. So somebody over there is just eating my bacon. Somebody over there is just slurping up on my sirloin cuts that I was paying for. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions.

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• 27:20Theo Von?

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• 28:04Theo Von?

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• 28:37Speaker 01

  You know what's funny is I uh, I wish we could show that little clip that you have of the movie.

• 28:43Theo Von?

  We could if we want.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  I don't think we can because, can we air it because of the, of the music or not? I don't know.

• 28:49Theo Von?

  Oh, it's a good point, huh?

• 28:50Speaker 01

  You know, I don't know. Ask those fucking clowns in there. Uh, did they take off?

• 28:56Theo Von?

  We could show it on silent if we want.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  No, it's, it's good with the song. Anyway, that's all. Cause you show that clip in your show, right?

• 29:03Theo Von?

  Yeah, we showed it during the halftime or like towards the like end of the show.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, my friend was in Tallahassee. They hit me up. They go, oh my God, this fucking clip just played. It's great. Yeah.

• 29:10Theo Von?

  Did they really?

• 29:11Speaker 01

  They were excited. Yeah. They're at your show.

• 29:13Theo Von?

  Oh, that's cool. It's been well received by people, you know? Just people getting to see the, getting to.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  It's a good little window into it.

• 29:19Theo Von?

  See the trailer for Bus Boys?

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, I'm trying to think, what do you think's the toughest part now having like kind of put a movie together from the beginning? What do you think is kind of one of the toughest parts?

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Fuck, I mean, it's, it's all, um, it's tough all the way along the way because we're just doing it alone. Usually we work for a boss, Paramount, Sony, Netflix, you know, they tell us what to do and we kind of just, we're, we're on our own. But we also know there's someone else calling some shots, the bigger shots, budgetary things, this and that casting we have to agree on. So I rarely, I'd never gone into it like this where it's just me and you. And that's good. There's some, some tough part about, but it's overall the best because we put it up, we're going in. It's such a complicated process, so it's almost too much because usually there's someone to cover this and you can kind of oversee it.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  But to get into everything about pre-production and budget and casting and locations and all the union stuff we gotta know. That's where it gets hard. And now we've gotten to the hard part. We got it. We shot it through the fires, through all the stuff. Very tough. Very tough to get through a movie and then.

• 30:28Theo Von?

  There were so many things that were tough.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  I always say after a movie, I'm not doing this again. It's too hard and everyone thinks I'm, you know, huge pussy. But it's more, it's mentally tough. It's hard. You gotta memorize stuff. You're driving all day. You're getting out there dark. And it's such a luxury to do a movie that. You can't complain to anyone. I can complain to you. But we're in it together, so we get it, but. And you can tell other people in movies, but regular people go.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  You know, they actually bust their ass.

• 30:58Theo Von?

  Right.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  So we're like pretending to be people that work hard. That's us in a movie. So we're bus boys. So anyway.

• 31:06Theo Von?

  Yeah, they give you just long enough to polish the gun that you have in your trailer and then before you can use it on yourself.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:11Theo Von?

  Like, hey, we need you back on.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's always like, where are they? I'm walking with number two or here's number one. I go for a walk. They just follow me. You know, they walk out of your set. You know, you walk around the trailer and you're like. And you're always mic'd and you're always. It's all, you know, and it's fucking freezing. I thought it'd be too hot. It's freezing. So anyway, we finish it and now it's rough cutted and now. The hard part is just getting it to a point. Where we think it's good and you're not wasting jokes.

• 31:40Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  Like a lot of things we did had like. Theo was very good on the set of, we're actually good together because. I think you're great. And if we have a scene and we do it, then we just start goofing around a couple before we leave. Get a few extra jokes and. So which one of those do we use? It's very hard to, this is funny for one reason. This is funny for another. And the rest of your life, people will remember one joke and they'll never see the other three. And you go, fuck, did we pick the right one for that? That for someone who's indecisive like me, and you are kind of too, that. It's hard to do and then you just gotta pick one, lock it down and then we will probably. I think our next step will show it to like. 20, 30 people. Because you really get a feel. For where there's a dead spot, where there's something that works.

• 32:24Theo Von?

  Yeah, you gotta have honest friends look at it.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I have friends and friends are always gonna start by saying they like it and then, but I haven't had fucking one person look at it yet. Same. I'm too scared. I. The director of all these movies, Pete Siegel, who's a great guy, he came by the set one day and he did Anger Management and The Longest Yard and Fifty First Dates and Tommy Boy and all these movies. So he, I said, I might have you take a look at it because I just want you as an observer, objectively, where are we with this? And that's the only guy, but I do want at some point when you get your fixes in and we get, we get something we kinda like, and then we show it.

• 33:03Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  And then that'll tell us a lot. We'll be like, oh my God, this is way funnier than we thought. They're laughing at this stuff instead of that laugh. Like, well, I didn't see that coming, like a cutaway. And then they go, oh, this feels flat. And some people might be confused. At the end, we go, what, where, did you understand what this is? People are like, were you guys playing fucking busboys? We're like, oh, boy, we're way off. Okay. And you didn't get that part? Because, you know, people don't know. They, they just watch it.

• 33:29Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the scariest part, I feel like, is trying to just like, see before you show it to somebody, is like, is what I think makes sense here makes sense to other people?

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Right, because we know it. We're too close to it.

• 33:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, you have no, I think it gets weird.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Even jokes where people go, I see one clip and they go, oh, that's great. I go, oh, it is? Because I've seen it 10 times. I don't know what's funny anymore.

• 33:50Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  You know, so it does take objectively, but it's so fucking stressful.

• 33:56Theo Von?

  Um, what do you feel like was one of the funnest days that we had?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Uh, that's a good question. It's funny because every day has an underlying stress level of knowing your lines, getting things done, losing the light, we gotta get this, is it right? Uh, do we know what we're doing? Is it set up, blocking, all that shit? But I'm good at giving long answers that are boring. Um, uh, I thought it was fun when we were in the lair with the drugs. That was kind of fun because there's a lot of people. When there's a lot of people, it's fun.

• 34:29Theo Von?

  Yeah, when there's a lot of people, it's fun. We kept having to go up and down that ladder like Ninja Turtle. Remember that?

• 34:34Speaker 01

  That was in a, like a condemned building that. I go, I guarantee you, they should shut this down.

• 34:41Theo Von?

  Yeah, they had asbestos, there was like asbestos, like art on the walls and everything.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  We had to write asbestos into the script because there was so much, it was like co-starring. And yeah, there was, we were underneath like a Sears building in downtown and uh.

• 34:54Theo Von?

  Remember the alarm went off or the?

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:56Theo Von?

  The old heater went off in there and it just like.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  It's, I think it was an old nuclear reactor or something, or, or it was a Amber Alert.

• 35:03Theo Von?

  It made McMuffins, I know that.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, we would go, I go, it's lunch. They cleared us all out from the, we shouldn't even tell them this, but anyway, I like that. We were on the desert a lot. It was kind of fun being out. And then we were in there doing Busboy shit with Tim Dillon, I thought was funny.

• 35:20Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, he's fun. Yeah, that was great. Just getting to see him. He has a new special that just came out, too.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's great.

• 35:26Theo Von?

  You just have, you have a comedy special?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, my, I'm sorry.

• 35:30Theo Von?

  Coming up. Can you guys hear him okay? Sorry. Yeah, it's great. Okay, you have.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  David, David, could you put the mic behind you now?

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Would that help?

• 35:39Theo Von?

  You have a comedy special coming out.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  I do, I did a comedy special for Amazon and we did it in Denver and um. It's interesting, you know, putting together a comedy special, you're on the road. And some, sometimes you, you want new stuff in there that's a little undercooked because it's new and different. And you just started doing it. And then sometimes you want to uh. And then you want the, and then most of the stuff is polished and buffed. So you gotta, I, I did it probably an hour twenty and cut it down to just under an hour.

• 36:08Theo Von?

  Dang, big gunner, huh?

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Is that a clip or is that a photo?

• 36:11Theo Von?

  Little overshot. Play that clip a little.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Is there a clip? Let's see if there's anything clippable here.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Oh, this is fucking funny, I feel it already.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  I was eight years old. I almost got kidnapped. I'll make it funny. I came out weird. Blonde hair, looked like exactly Macaulay Culkin. And I was kinda tan, I was like shorts. I mean, it was almost a trap man.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  I'm a bit of a dandelion. I don't know if you can tell. I look tough on TV, but these quads are deceiving.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're some guy, yo.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, look at that action shot. Dandelion is because I'm such a fucking puss and I couldn't think of a good name.

• 36:54Theo Von?

  That's, oh no, you're great, dude. It looks great. You look very healthy in that. You, it reminds me of David Duchovny.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:02Theo Von?

  A little bit. And the guy, um, from, who, the guy from, um,

• 37:10Theo Von?

  that guy, his partner on the TV show.

• 37:14Theo Von?

  What am I talking about?

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Shrek?

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 37:19Theo Von?

  Who am I talking, it's like, eh, the guy's got all the kids. Tim, Tim the Toolman Taylor. That's him.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  You were looking for Al Borland?

• 37:26Theo Von?

  Al Borland.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  That's who I look like in, with that fucking shirt on.

• 37:31Theo Von?

  You look like Gal Borland, the dude that gets the gals, huh?

• 37:34Speaker 01

  That's hysterical. That was not exactly what I was going for and thank you for that insulting insult. But no, he seems like a good dude. I just don't, actually looks better than me. Fuck, what am I saying?

• 37:46Theo Von?

  Yeah, screw him showing up looking better than me.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Playgirl magazine? Look at him. He's naked from the waist down with his dong out.

• 37:53Theo Von?

  Yeah, you don't get to see that anymore.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  You know, like when they tell you what to wear, I mean, they don't tell you, but they go, what are you gonna wear? And of course I'm not like a full girl going to the Oscars. So I go, I don't know. So it gets closer and they're like, show it so we can hold it up with the backdrop. I go, I don't give a shit, dude. So I get there and I'm, I have two outfits. I have this, outfits is already bad enough. I just said outfits. So I walk into the rack like Elton John, like.

• 38:18Theo Von?

  A Nordstrom rack?

• 38:20Speaker 01

  No, just a rack of clothes.

• 38:21Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  From Nordstrom, yeah. So I go in there and I go, what about this? And then I go out there that day and they're like, do you still not know? And I go, I don't know. And then, uh, I wear the shirt and then I go, I'm gonna put, so I just wore a shirt and a coat that I wasn't supposed to wear. Because, you know, and they go, you need a copy of that in case. I go, you think I'm gonna ruin this between shows? And they're like, yeah. So I fell for that last time. And then Nikki Glaser goes, oh, I have some dress from like 1930. And I go, well, don't you have to have a double? She goes, fuck that. I'm not gonna, and I go, yeah, what am I doing? Why am I taking fucking orders?

• 38:57Theo Von?

  Wasting money on extra clothes too.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  And all of mine are like one of a kind.

• 39:02Theo Von?

  Oh, it's, you can tell that's all.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  One of a kind flannel shirt. That you can have in any Google search in two seconds. Uh, but it was fun to do. I'm glad it's out. Uh, it's fun, you know, some of the jokes, I still do because they're longer now. That's the funny thing is you do a joke and then it's, it's a minute of your act and then now it's a five minute chunk. I'm like, oh, but I did the beginning, but now it's so much longer. But I don't really care. I like a couple of things I've done before because they really work. And then I put in new stuff and then it's just always in rotation of, I'll pull something from the old bag and then I'll have all this new shit. So whatever.

• 39:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's kind of how I feel.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Is that what you do? What do you do?

• 39:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's like there's some bits I do because I know people want to hear them and there's some people's favorites. And it's like, well, I want to make sure I get that in for a couple of minutes, you know, if it's a big show.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  I, cause you know, it's never like you do some bit that works and it doesn't work. Like if it bombed and people are like boo, like you did that before. It's not like that. They still work.

• 40:03Theo Von?

  Yeah, you just, yeah, they want to see the new stuff too.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  And sometimes when I go to people, if I saw you, I'd be like, I remember the first time I saw you and stuff you were doing, I'd be like, oh, I hope he does this and this and this. Cause those are like my fun ones. I want to tell someone and have them watch them.

• 40:18Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  And then, uh, sometimes I do that with comics and they don't do it and I go. I go because sometimes, you know, by the fifth special, these people do, it's just too watered down. It's too hard to be that good in one year. It's too hard. You don't buff them out. You need to really.

• 40:34Theo Von?

  Dude, that's, I don't think you have to. I mean, it's like, I've known a special, I'm thinking four years now.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, you don't need it.

• 40:39Theo Von?

  If we do it this year, it'll be four years, but also I've been on the same tour for years, but it's like, there's so many places you can go. It's like, I don't mind going to a town that has 30,000 people in it, you know, it's like, you cannot do it and probably have a family and stuff like that and have pets you own.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:54Theo Von?

  Or semi-owned. God owns them.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  As long as they have a 30,000 seat theater, then you can.

• 40:57Theo Von?

  But it's all, yeah, but it's like, but if we can go over there, I think I'd rather do it.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're printing money.

• 41:03Theo Von?

  Oh, David, that is not true.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  If I had your money, I'd throw mine away.

• 41:06Theo Von?

  Oh, dude, get out of here.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  It's fucking.

• 41:09Theo Von?

  You just bought a new car, didn't you?

• 41:14Speaker 01

  You bought a car lot. Yeah, dude, I got a car. Fuck, yeah. You see me buzzing around.

• 41:20Theo Von?

  Did you just buy, uh, the original Joe Dirt car or no?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  I did not. It was 330 grand. I didn't know it would be that much.

• 41:26Theo Von?

  Was it really?

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it went on an auction.

• 41:27Theo Von?

  Did you even look at, were you there on the auction?

• 41:29Speaker 01

  No, but the guy DM me and he said, hey, do you want to, uh, buy the old Joe Dirt? I go, is it the fucking real one? Cause I do like cars and I, I don't have enough room for them, but I like, I have, I'm into it. I'm like, I'm not going to drive the thing around. I'd like to have it just to have it. The director of Tommy Boy has, has a Tommy Boy car and I'm like, those are fun to have. So, I said, uh, how much? And he goes, I'm deciding between three and 500 grand. I go, I'm sorry, what? The fucking shitty one at the beginning of Joe Dirt? It didn't even have a Hemi in it. It was a fake pretend. It was like an old, you know, Vega and we just put like, yeah, this thing.

• 42:06Theo Von?

  Joe Dirt 69 Charger Daytona.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  It's fucking cool though. Is he selling it for 450?

• 42:13Theo Von?

  The 1969 Daytona presented here starred in the $60 million grossing hit comedy, The Adventures of Joe Dirt.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Fuck, yeah. What does that say up there? 450?

• 42:22Theo Von?

  Um.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Can you read?

• 42:23Theo Von?

  Yeah. One of the funniest scenes depicts Joe Dirt at the impound lot financially unstable to retrieve his mint 67 Plymouth HME GTX convertible. He's buying the Charger Daytona instead. You bought it for $450 in the movie. Apparently.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Oh, $450?

• 42:36Theo Von?

  In the movie, yeah.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't see the movie.

• 42:38Theo Von?

  Do we know the closing price on that?

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, he hit me up for three to 500 grand. I go,

• 42:44Theo Von?

  Can you live in it?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  I was like, yeah. Is this an RV?

• 42:47Theo Von?

  How many square feet is it?

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Is it in a good neighborhood? No, I just said, I said, I think I said something to the effect of get fucked. No, I was like, hey, man, I, I didn't know it'd be like that. I don't know why. Cause you know, in the real world, you gotta, you gotta make a million to clear 350. So I'm like, I don't know if I'm making a million this week. So I just said, no, even though I said, I'd really like it. I just a little too rich for my blood right now. Cause I thought, what am I doing? I just gotta park it. I can't really drive. It's fun to have. I'd rather honestly have it in my fucking living room. What a cool thing to have. Just walk in. Hey, this is the car from the movie. And so I didn't think you'd get close to that. It sold for 330.

• 43:26Theo Von?

  God.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:28Theo Von?

  To who? Probably an Asian guy?

• 43:29Speaker 01

  No, the guy had a Joder tattoo on his chest.

• 43:31Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  And he was a full fucking fan. So he hit me up, the guy that bought it. And so now I've talked to him.

• 43:38Theo Von?

  And what you guys talk about?

• 43:39Speaker 01

  I like these guys. We just talk about pop music.

• 43:42Theo Von?

  You're like, hey, go sit in and just turn it on for me. I want to hear.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  No, I just go, I miss her, man. I miss her. Just put her on the phone.

• 43:48Theo Von?

  He's like, mail me some semen. And you're like, oh, I don't miss her that much.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  No, I do that. I'll do that. I'll do that once.

• 43:54Theo Von?

  Do you think, um, would you guys ever have done a Tommy Boy two? Do you think you and Farley ever would have done it?

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, Black Sheep was sort of the next summer and it was sort of the same type of movie. We had, we should have just kept it Pete Segal and just done it again. He couldn't, he, he wasn't available. He just would have kept track of like, kind of how it was. But I did like Black Sheep. We had another movie that we were talking about at the very end and would have been great. Yeah. I mean, would I have liked to have like a run and gun buddy to goof around? He would have been all over the place. He would have been working with everybody. I mean, even at that point toward the end, cause you know, he's almost more famous now because everyone looks back and,

• 44:38Speaker 01

  but when you're in it and he's just getting famous, but still all the big hosts that would come in would like go right to him. Uh, so he could have worked with anybody, big directors, you could have more drama. Uh, he would have done a lot of stuff with Adam. I mean, he loved Adam and always thought he was great. So, uh,

• 44:58Theo Von?

  Sandler, you mean?

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. He was very tight with Adam and I was just lucky to be in. A couple with him, but he would have been out there doing everything. I remember when he was in Coneheads, we all were in Coneheads, even Adam was in Coneheads. And Lauren, it was sort of a, an assignment, you know, we all, he was just like, you're gonna play this and, and he just had plucked everyone, there's probably 15 people messing around in it. And somehow still didn't work that well, but I loved being in it and he was in it and he had a pretty big part and he was funny. Look at him, there he is.

• 45:28Theo Von?

  Oh, he looks so handsome. Did you get to keep the cone from that?

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Uh, no, but you know what? It's, it, that will barely fit up your butt. If you,

• 45:38Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  She's really pretty, by the way. That was Michelle Burke.

• 45:42Theo Von?

  Is it?

• 45:43Speaker 01

  This is after they took a photo of Farley and they take it so strong that he, it blows his hair back or something.

• 45:48Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's funny as shit. But accurate, yeah, so that was a blast. So I would say the answer is, uh, would have loved to keep doing stuff. And just have him around to hang out with.

• 45:58Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, obviously to have him be alive, but do you think that you would have been able to do a Tommy Boy?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Yes, and these, all these scenarios, he's alive.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  You're like, it'd be great. No, if he's alive, you have to add that caveat.

• 46:11Theo Von?

  What do you, if you had to do Tommy Boy 2, what would the plot even have gone into, you think?

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Tommy Boy 2, Electric Boogaloo. You know, there, I was pitched a Tommy Boy 2, which was, our kids are together. And our kids are, but this is, I was pitched it two years ago.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  And I'm like, I just can't find a scenario with no Farley. It's not, he was the whole movie. Even if it has a good title, Tommy Boy's in the title, but it would be too much of a sellout. I can't imagine. I mean, no one could do that.

• 46:42Theo Von?

  Were they gonna do it with, see, Yar used one of his brothers to do it, you think?

• 46:45Speaker 01

  No, it was just like, it was his, it was our kids and it was about them and then I was gonna come help them on the road or something. But I go, if, listen, there's, the magic in the bottle was, was Chris. And so, uh, I had a good part. I had a lot of fun in it, but it was about Christopher. And so, you know, yeah, if we did another one back then, it would have been a blast.

• 47:09Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:10Theo Von?

  I wonder what it could have been about, too. Wow, that's interesting.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't, I never even thought that far. Brake pads are so funny. There's endless jokes about, I mean, that movie, that's what I always say is that if we pitched the Tommy Boy movie, just like two guys selling brake pads, it's just not. Enough to sell a movie.

• 47:28Theo Von?

  People wouldn't listen now.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  No, it's just not funny.

• 47:31Theo Von?

  Maybe menstrual pads you could have gone to.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  That's not a bad idea, yeah. That we go sell them.

• 47:36Theo Von?

  Stop the flow. Yeah, that's like things are getting out of hand. Maybe women's lib was getting crazy.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then he dresses like one in a parking lot.

• 47:43Theo Von?

  He's like, okay, I'm on the craziest.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  And some big woman comes, he goes, let me try it out.

• 47:48Theo Von?

  Yeah, he's like, I've been having my period for 11 months straight.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  These are, these are trailer moments.

• 47:55Theo Von?

  That actually would have been hilarious, dude.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  We're like, these are cut scenes from our possible movie, yeah.

• 48:02Theo Von?

  Uh, did you ever do a Farley impersonation or no?

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Oh, were you? Um, he did this a lot, you know? Just funny, you get nervous, damn it. Then he goes like this, pulls on his hair when he's nervous, like in the meeting with the host. He'd pull on the carpet, and everyone's just like, even like, the host is like, some Michael Keaton going, is this fucking dude okay? Cause they didn't really know him yet. And he was so nervous about shit and, uh, uh, always funny. But he would always try to make you laugh, always try to do anything, fall down at work, do anything. Oh, fall on the piano, just anything to get everyone to laugh. Cause also he was taken care of. He wasn't writing sketches, so he just was tra-la-la around the office. There's no stress, cause he's gonna be in 18 things. They're just, everyone's gonna write him in.

• 48:50Theo Von?

  Oh, that's a good point, huh?

• 48:50Speaker 01

  And if you write him in, like, that's the big trick at SNL is you gotta get someone to write for you. And I would get mad. I go, you don't write for me enough. They're like, what do you do? And I'm like, you're right. You just think, I'm great. And then they go, wow, and I, there's no proof. And I'm like, yeah. So you have to kind of do a joke around the office, or it's sort of thirsty, but do an impression or something. And someone goes, you should do something with that, you know? And then where they go, oh, you can do that? Oh, we might put you in this because we need someone like that. But mostly I was like, smart alecky, stupid shit, because that's the only thing they saw, you know? And I wrote that Hollywood Minute where it was, I was making fun of everybody. And that kind of was a good hook for me. But it wasn't enough to be like super characters. That really wasn't my thing.

• 49:35Theo Von?

  I went with his brother to SNL. Remember that?

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's right. You hit me up.

• 49:38Theo Von?

  I think you connected us maybe.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  I was like, um.

• 49:40Theo Von?

  John, uh.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, John.

• 49:41Theo Von?

  John, yeah.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  Johnny Farley and I was like.

• 49:43Theo Von?

  And he hadn't been back, dude, since, uh, he hadn't been back since Chris was there.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Did he hit you up to go there or did I tell you guys to go or were you just in New York?

• 49:52Theo Von?

  He took advantage of us, I think. But whatever. Oh, no, I think you said to me, hey, uh, he's gonna be there.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I did.

• 49:59Theo Von?

  So I tell him hello. But he hit you up to get him in there.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Can you make a call, Davey? Yeah. Don't tell Jen. Yeah, he was in the wrong missy. We put him in that. He was in, um, Benchwarmers. He's funny in that. Uh, was it fun there for you? You'd never been there, right?

• 50:18Theo Von?

  I'd never been. Yeah. What was it like? It was interesting to see what you, the place you guys had all been at and what kind of like.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  There's photos everywhere.

• 50:25Theo Von?

  Yeah. Just what it was like. Like, I think I pictured it more of like an old school type of dormitory vibe, but, um.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  But our offices were up higher.

• 50:34Theo Von?

  Oh, then maybe it was up there.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  We'd be there all week and we'd just come down to the show, but you might have to host it one day.

• 50:41Theo Von?

  It was pretty interesting there.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Would you be able to handle it?

• 50:44Theo Von?

  I don't know. Depends on who the musical guest is, I guess.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Is that the whole thing?

• 50:48Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  What if it's fucking, uh, Jelly Pop, your buddy or whatever? Remember he?

• 50:54Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Jelly Roll?

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, he came over to us at Koi one time and said hi.

• 50:57Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Do you remember that?

• 50:59Theo Von?

  Yeah, I'm trying to think of.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  I said, hey, the bouncer's coming over. He wants to talk to you. He walks over to that way. Yeah.

• 51:06Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. I was like, whoa, motorcycle did this guy, this guy?

• 51:10Speaker 01

  Oh, did we park in front of you?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  He was nice, dude. He knew you from.

• 51:14Theo Von?

  Yeah, him and Bunny came over. I remember that. That was cool. Dude, that was awesome. That was like, I think he would, he'd come out here to do Jimmy Kimmel or something. It was like one of his first times being out here.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Right, right, right. And then we saw Luke Bryan at dinner. We see all your little goat roper buddies. Yeah.

• 51:28Theo Von?

  Dude, that was fun.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, he came over.

• 51:31Theo Von?

  That's when we used to have a good time, man.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  What happened? Now we're just grinding on the movie every day going, ugh.

• 51:37Theo Von?

  I know. Now we're just like, how do we fuck?

• 51:39Speaker 01

  Tra la la.

• 51:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, that was fun, huh?

• 51:42Speaker 01

  I remember that. I was excited.

• 51:44Theo Von?

  Luke frickin' Bryan, remember that?

• 51:46Speaker 01

  We took a picture with him.

• 51:46Theo Von?

  He sat down with us.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun.

• 51:48Theo Von?

  I'm like, dude, who's supposed to come in with you?

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:51Theo Von?

  He had two bites of somebody's potatoes out.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  No, we have fun. We go to UFC and everyone knows. I remember before you even blew up.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  So many people knew you at UFC. I was like, holy shit, man. These people know this clown.

• 52:02Theo Von?

  I don't know about that. There we are, right there.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  Look, my hair is quite puffy that day.

• 52:06Theo Von?

  Look how good. You look like definitely like one of those rich people's dogs.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  I do.

• 52:14Theo Von?

  For sure, dude. Now I see why your mom has you come home a lot. She's like, I need this little cute puff right here in my lap.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Look at my fucking sweater pops. Don't even try to argue that.

• 52:26Theo Von?

  Solid choice. And there's Luke. Looks like he just.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Fucking Luke. He's, that does look like me. I'm a bit of a lap dog.

• 52:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, you look like you spent time at NYU a little bit.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  I'll fucking gnaw on a sausage.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Look at you, dur.

• 52:45Theo Von?

  Oh, you're dumb. Just like, how did I even get here?

• 52:48Speaker 01

  What are we eating? Fucking oysters or something? Jeez, what a bunch of idiots.

• 52:52Theo Von?

  Somebody ordered that little, when they put those little, the shrimp, they put them upstairs like they're about to commit suicide or whatever. That little, uh, it's like a little shrimp rack or whatever.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:03Theo Von?

  Like the second story shrimp, they hide them all on the edge of, like they're trying to hide from us. Like bitch, we see you. They're all naked though.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  Look at those fucking shrimps. They charge you by the shrimps, you know?

• 53:12Theo Von?

  It gets unreal in some places. It's six.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  That is the, that is the most expensive place. Cause I won't say the name, but the steak sauce was seven bucks each. You get a little thing like this of A1 and it's like, deesh, deesh, deesh, seven, seven, seven. And then the bread was 15. I had filet, I had filet of soul, right? I go, oh.

• 53:30Theo Von?

  Filet of what?

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Dude, don't you watch fishing shows?

• 53:35Theo Von?

  You have filet of soul? Soul? Oh, how rich.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Can we pull it up? See if it's real?

• 53:40Theo Von?

  You're eating human spirit in there?

• 53:42Speaker 01

  No, filet of, yeah.

• 53:45Theo Von?

  That's rich.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Oh, shocking. It checks out as a fish. Um, yeah, that's what it looks like. Anyway, it's kind of like carp. No, I don't know what it's like. So I get this and they go, do you want the catch of the day? And I know it's a rich place. I go, don't try to rap, fuck me dudes. I'm gonna take this dog shit off the menu. It says market price, but I go, fine. I get it. It's like leather. It's kind of gross, you know? But fine. 150 bucks. I go, I have never heard about fish being 150.

• 54:13Theo Von?

  150 dollars?

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:15Theo Von?

  And they would give, you get the head and the tail or they just give you the middle part?

• 54:18Speaker 01

  You should. You should come to my house, fucking clean my car.

• 54:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, that's crazy. 150 bucks? For one piece of fish, unreal.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:28Theo Von?

  That would never fly in the Bible, dude.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  No. No. What you do is they have the fish with their mouth, I guess.

• 54:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  And something like this, oh, you're gonna go to work for that one 50. And the fish is like.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Fish is like, I got teeth. No, you do not. Nice try.

• 54:44Theo Von?

  Somebody's getting a little bit of Tada sauce on the inside.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  It's not in the Bible either.

• 54:50Theo Von?

  God. You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it. And then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 55:34Theo Von?

  Sometimes I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. You can have better sex with BlueChew. BlueChew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. That's it. That's how it is.

• 56:19Theo Von?

  And starting now, BlueChew is offering a combo so strong it'll knock your socks off and your neighbor's socks off. Oh, everybody's barefoot. BlueChew Max has arrived. And it combines the active ingredients of Viagra and Cialis into one chewable. This combo acts fast and lasts.

• 56:43Theo Von?

  Guys, be ready when she needs it and get your first month of BlueChew free. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of BlueChew free when you use promo code Theo. Just pay $5 shipping. That's promo code T H E O. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Mental health is, it's our new Vietnam, guys, really. It's right in front of us every day. It's just making sure you're okay. We're locked in.

• 57:28Theo Von?

  We're in a unique time where we're, I don't know if we're transitioning from humans to computers. I don't know what's going on, but you gotta take care of the mainframe that God gave you, your brain. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent study say they have avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment. Man, look, if I meet you, if I, if I, if I know you, you better be getting mental health support. You better be, stay on top of your brain. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapist

• 58:06Theo Von?

  from their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. We are all better with help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash T H E O to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H E L P dot com slash Theo. When you, um, yes, whenever you pass away.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  How do you remember to ask questions? I always watch this thing and I'm like, I can't remember shit to talk to people about.

• 58:36Theo Von?

  Dude, first of all, I'm a BLM advocate, so I get a lot of my stuff.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  There's you on us now.

• 58:41Theo Von?

  Who is that?

• 58:42Speaker 01

  They're like, ladies and gentlemen, BLM. And you're like, oh, is that the musical group?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Is that you all happy? When were you that happy?

• 58:51Theo Von?

  Never.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Fucking shit. Is that AI?

• 58:53Theo Von?

  Is that Tom Brady's teeth?

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Oh my god. I'll rent out advertising space on those fucking chompers. Are those your teeth? No, it's AI.

• 59:02Theo Von?

  Ah, haha. That's GAI dude.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 59:05Theo Von?

  That's horrible, bro.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  GAI, yeah.

• 59:08Theo Von?

  They got, that's, the forums are nice though.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  I was about to say, your forums are good and they shaved you a little bit?

• 59:14Theo Von?

  God.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Your whole body's shaved.

• 59:16Theo Von?

  Well, it, it's, it's gonna be as soon as I get in shape.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  No, you look good there.

• 59:20Theo Von?

  Well.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Why can't you look more like AI?

• 59:23Theo Von?

  Well.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Well.

• 59:24Theo Von?

  Do you think, whenever you die, where do you want your body, where do you want your ashes spread, do you think?

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Oh, I was just talking about this, um. No, I wasn't.

• 59:32Theo Von?

  What are you gonna do with them?

• 59:33Speaker 01

  No, what'll I do?

• 59:34Theo Von?

  Am I kind of a trickster?

• 59:36Speaker 01

  No, I'm not gonna do any tricks.

• 59:37Theo Von?

  Really?

• 59:38Speaker 01

  I don't want any weird stuff, yeah.

• 59:40Theo Von?

  Let me get a couple grams of it.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  You want a little bit? Oh, if anybody needs money, I would let them sell them, you know, for whatever.

• 59:47Theo Von?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  You could sell them here, part of your merch, if you want. I could have Harper, uh, she could take them. But I don't know, it's too morbid, I can't even think about the stuff, I get scared.

• 59:57Theo Von?

  Um, I want my, what if they had like spade shades and we put them into some beautiful, beautiful sunglasses?

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Okay. I'm pretty agreeable to everything, yeah.

• 1:00:08Theo Von?

  Or how, like?

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Spades, shades?

• 1:00:10Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:11Theo Von?

  Or, and they're interior shades too, actually.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  Oh my god, okay. Well, now we're getting somewhere. Yeah. And what, was there a story about something?

• 1:00:19Theo Von?

  Ashes, I want mine shot into a fucking schoolyard full of children.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  No, you should put it in a t-shirt gun.

• 1:00:26Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  And take it to some bayou horseshit, you know?

• 1:00:29Theo Von?

  Rodeo.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Louisiana rodeo, yeah.

• 1:00:31Theo Von?

  Snake rodeo.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  And, yeah. Snake rodeo, is that like an orgy? That's what you call an orgy? No, wasn't there a story about some dog that ate someone's ashes or something?

• 1:00:41Theo Von?

  Um, was there anything, there was something in the news that's happened about it, some eating ashes, we got that?

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  Did you hear that bullshit? Look at this. Shit. Wait. Oh my god, it's a Rolex. Anyway, um.

• 1:00:53Theo Von?

  Is that real?

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Now, the joke is like, I act like it's late. I go, oh shit, it's a Rolex. And I go like this.

• 1:01:03Theo Von?

  What time is it, oh, wealth.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, no, this is a real one, but it's the only one good thing I have. I did get robbed at my house. You shouldn't be flashing around. Me toddler hate me ashes.

• 1:01:14Theo Von?

  UK mom walked into an unthinkable situation when she found her one year old consuming her father's cremated remains. And she even has video of the mortifying situation.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  There, aren't they?

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  They're not good. They cannot taste good.

• 1:01:29Theo Von?

  I don't know. I guess if you mix them with something.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  Volume.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  God, when your son eats your dad.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Of course she filmed it.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  My son has eaten my dad's last years.

• 1:01:40Theo Von?

  He didn't have a lot.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  That's the whole fucking story.

• 1:01:43Theo Von?

  Dude, he only had a little bit.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  He only had like the forearm and.

• 1:01:47Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  That's so, that's so grody.

• 1:01:52Theo Von?

  That lady's complaining. Also, the kid is a ginger too.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Trouble.

• 1:01:57Theo Von?

  Yeah. So some of that you gotta see coming. Some of that's on you.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Um, also, the lady immediately sold it to TMZ.

• 1:02:05Theo Von?

  That's a great point, huh?

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Theo Von?

  She probably served them up. Everything's for sale nowadays, it seems like. What other news stories we got, guys? Anything popping off?

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Give us some shit before Spade fucking has the boogie. Spade looks pretty, pretty cool today.

• 1:02:16Theo Von?

  Spade looks he- healthy today.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Is there a hair? Here, give it to me. No, you know, I do, is if you weren't here.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  I fucking light it on fire in front of the other ones.

• 1:02:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  And I say, this is what happens when you try to fucking make a break for it. Jump ship on me, motherfucker. And then it burns and it floats down. They all go, what the fuck? And I go, yeah.

• 1:02:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  Might want to stick around.

• 1:02:39Theo Von?

  Yeah, you might want to see the final act.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they've.

• 1:02:43Theo Von?

  It's hard to keep hair.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  No, no, it's ridiculous and it's fucked up.

• 1:02:47Theo Von?

  And our bodies can only hold so much hair.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Tiffany, you have raging boners. What? I'm sorry.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  The guy of Brian Johnson who's trying to live forever. He says that women also get their version of morning wood.

• 1:02:59Theo Von?

  Okay, who's Brian Johnson? Let's take a look at him first.

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  Is he the guy that tries to live forever? He's trying to be really old.

• 1:03:05Theo Von?

  Is that him? I'm not try- I'm, I'm not sure.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  He also sings for ACDC. That's Brian Johnson too. That's a different.

• 1:03:10Theo Von?

  Lying in bed, just like Brian Johnson dead.

• 1:03:15Theo Von?

  There he is.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:03:18Theo Von?

  Oh, there he is, huh? First of all, I thought this was Matt Rife.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Is that his new special?

• 1:03:23Theo Von?

  It's his new cologne.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Called fucking Pig Blood. What is this guy injecting in his wiener this week?

• 1:03:30Theo Von?

  I know, I know, that's the only thing. This guy takes a lot of pills straight up the wee wee.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm all for doing minimum two million worth of surgery on my face. But just to do a light dusting and cleanup, this guy's like every day, it's too much. And girls find that out, they don't want a dude that's spending their whole life to look six years younger. It's crazy.

• 1:03:52Theo Von?

  Yeah, you don't want somebody who's in there sand blasting their fucking clavicles in the morning. You can't even get any extra sleep.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Fucking sanding their nuts, there's no wrinkles in them, just fucking meow, meow. You got him on the, you got your wiener out in a belt sander, meow, meow.

• 1:04:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, this guy is.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  No rinks.

• 1:04:13Theo Von?

  Yeah, see you wrinkle free.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I get it, he wants to look, we all do, I'm falling apart. Someone put on my comments the other day, you got old fast, dude. Oh, thanks, you fuck. Oh, thanks. Fly to your house and beat you with a fucking rock dick.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  I get really offended by the comments, I'm like this. It's just comments, these people are losers. So I tell myself, the guy goes, no way, I'm a winner. And I go, fuck, he's a winner and he's doing this? Uh, look at Spade.

• 1:04:42Theo Von?

  That's the tough part, whoa.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  That's me when I get all the surgery and you go, Spade, is that you?

• 1:04:47Theo Von?

  JonBenet Pico Gramsey, huh?

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Fucking, look at those pecs, dude.

• 1:04:52Theo Von?

  Dude, what the fuck, you better spend that money, David.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Why's he got band-aids on his finger? What's wrong with this dude?

• 1:04:59Theo Von?

  And why's he got a half ounce of raspberry kum on him?

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  Splirt.

• 1:05:04Theo Von?

  How many times you gotta jerk off to get that?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, and can you wear the cheapest chain you got, fucking dude? Spending your money on the wrong shit.

• 1:05:12Theo Von?

  Wow, is that a Neuralink necklace around his?

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Shave your chest, you fruitcake.

• 1:05:17Theo Von?

  God, that guy's been eating his own nipples off, I bet.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Hey, you want some cherry fucking pie melted down? Hey, nips, why would you push in on that?

• 1:05:26Theo Von?

  God, those bitches, dude, those bitches are hard boiled.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Fucking window cutters.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Tic Tac Toe.

• 1:05:37Theo Von?

  Dude, that's crazy. I don't know. How long would you want to be alive, you think?

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  I don't, um.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  You mean, I like it now. I'm a little beat up around the edges. I had a rough, I had a rough upbringing.

• 1:05:51Theo Von?

  But you got, if you get in a sauna for two days, you'll be bounced right back.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 1:05:55Theo Von?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  A sauna?

• 1:05:56Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  You would not let me in your sauna.

• 1:05:59Theo Von?

  Oh, it is a good point, huh?

• 1:06:02Theo Von?

  You didn't want to get into it. They had the ice bath, too.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  I know. Okay, now here's this guy fighting back.

• 1:06:07Theo Von?

  Kept me going, though.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, on the movie?

• 1:06:09Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  No, honestly, Whatever It Takes. I was telling you beforehand. You're tougher than me, but movies are fucking tough. They're tough mentally, they're tough physically, and it's just a fucking grind. You have no life. You get up at dark, you go in. Every day is a problem. Like, we don't have this, this car doesn't work. Remember the cars weren't starting, we're like...

• 1:06:28Theo Von?

  Dude, the cars, we had to push the cars into every shot.

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  Every car we had, we're like, "Did you want it to start?" I go, "Yeah, you have to drive it into the scene." "Okay, they got it. You gotta tell us this upfront, guys." I go, "I have to tell you a car should start." Well, it was low budget, but it's still, I mean, we make everything look as good as we can. Listen, Napoleon Dynamite was low budget, it's hilarious. So, it's just about where you use the money. It's really just about me and you, and it's just about being funny, so you don't need too much in the background, you know?

• 1:06:57Theo Von?

  But it was like, we got two brothers right here that'll push it for like eighty bucks, and we're like, "How, what?"

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  We're like, "Sixty, okay."

• 1:07:03Theo Von?

  Yeah, I was like, "I don't care if they're related or not." I'm like,

• 1:07:07Theo Von?

  "We're like, well, we have two guys that aren't related that'll do it for a hundred and twenty."

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  No, no, bring the brothers back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it was, like, pushing cars into scenes, and then, uh... But I thought overall, super fun. Glad, glad to do it and excited for the final product.

• 1:07:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, thanks for doing it, man.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:07:25Theo Von?

  It was quite, it was definitely really interesting to get to do. I can't even, it just, yeah, you learned, you learned so much stuff. You're like, "Jesus."

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Well, I haven't really done a comedy team movie since I think Black Sheep and that, because... It's like growing up, there's five of us. Wrong Missy was me and Lauren and she was great. It wasn't even really a comedy. She was like all the jokes. I was just reacting, which is important. But it was sort of her thing. So it was fun to go back and forth and on the set when thinking of jokes and stuff, that's fun part. Those are the fun parts of movies. Like once we're in it and we're doing the scenes and laughing, then it's fun, you know? The rest of it's tough.

• 1:08:01Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  God, could we cry? Could I cry? I'm not crying about the movie. It's fun. No, dude, we're just talking.

• 1:08:07Theo Von?

  I cry about everything. I cried about the drive. I'm like, ah. Yeah, we have to give a soft spot in your heart for everything.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:16Theo Von?

  For having to do stuff. Yeah. Like, it's just definitely, man. It's life. We're being alive. No, dude, we're just talking about it. It's fucking life.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, life.

• 1:08:23Theo Von?

  Everything isn't like, I think people don't think that everything is just complete magic or whatever, you know?

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Right. I mean, the bottom line is, it's funny when you watch a movie, any movie you see, you go, you don't think about how long, how much shit it took. You just go, funny or not, that's all.

• 1:08:38Theo Von?

  Especially you start watching a movie and you're like, this movie fucking sucks. And then they're like, and then you don't even think, you're like, these fucking idiots got together every day and made it.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  Oh, they made it. They worked hard. This is some rewrite they loved. Fucking bomb. Yeah, when I go to movies, I used to sit through everything because I love comedy. I love movies. And then about five years ago, I started to walk out of movies. It's very hard. I think attention span and everything where I'm like, or I kind of know where it's going and I'm like, if there's not enough tricks here, I'm, I gotta go.

• 1:09:09Theo Von?

  Yeah, if there's not some, a good bit of fucking in them, I'm out.

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  If nothing else, someone start fucking someone.

• 1:09:16Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Or I'm fucking out.

• 1:09:18Theo Von?

  At the very least, dude, yeah.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  Minimum.

• 1:09:20Theo Von?

  Even if it's animals, I'll watch that.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Listen, how am I watching that when I know I have stepbrother porn on my phone if I need it?

• 1:09:28Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude. I don't need a DNA test to watch that. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  You know, in Stepbrother porn, I'll tell you, and then I gotta get out of here.

• 1:09:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, tell me about one of your favorite things about it. I have one. Oh, is this a thing?

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Sperm racing. That's not, is that true?

• 1:09:40Theo Von?

  Sperm racing, a new sport, that's K T L A five, yeah. Sperm racing, a new sport is coming to Los Angeles. You read that right. A startup recently announced the launch of the world's first live sperm race. You'll be able to watch its inaugural edition.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Does everyone get a microscope?

• 1:09:53Theo Von?

  Right here in Los Angeles. Ah, I don't know. Let me see. Um, the startup, known simply as Sperm Racing, raised a million dollars in support of the efforts to put on the world's first sperm race.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  I like that you read it so fast. I'm not even understanding.

• 1:10:04Theo Von?

  Male fertility is declining.

• 1:10:08Theo Von?

  Uh, thus to raise awareness.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  So what happens? Just, let's say I'm in fifth grade.

• 1:10:11Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  You get a boner. I'm trying to explain to a fifth grader. Why would I? No.

• 1:10:17Theo Von?

  Well, son.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Oh, look at the, look at the chart. That really helps me.

• 1:10:21Theo Von?

  So now you're jerking off, you just tell your dad I'm staying competitive out here? Now you might be wondering how exactly a sperm race works. Well, the founders laid it out. First, a microscopic racetrack for the two sperm samples to compete on will be constructed. The course mimics reproductive system and includes chemical signals, fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Is this for the next Olympics? What are we doing?

• 1:10:41Theo Von?

  God, dude, I don't know, because I'm tired of just jerking off and nobody wins.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  How about this? I'll get the fucking high jump and that's about it. Gaddish.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Flop it over. Yeah, no, I don't even whack off.

• 1:10:54Theo Von?

  Mine's more like, well, it's, it looks like a couple, couple guys just rolling out of a sleeping bag these days.

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  I like the last, the last scene of some dude in this, in the scene, he goes, yeah, and it's like, one cc like this. The guy's like, oh yeah, you missed a good batch.

• 1:11:11Theo Von?

  Oh, I'm fucking, I'm, dude, I'm working with an eyedropper these days, that's for sure.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  And the girl's like this. And they're like, oh, there it is.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  No sperm races. Yeah, let's look forward to that in 2028 Gavin Newsom Olympics.

• 1:11:27Theo Von?

  First sperm to cross the finish line wins. That's pretty much it. One more news topic before you go David.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, the two guys that play lose.

• 1:11:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, that's true. The two guys that play it.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  I like on the side. What do you think? Last one, no opinion. Okay, GA, Georgia?

• 1:11:44Theo Von?

  Yeah, Georgia nine 11 caller hears dispatcher ordering McGriddle during emergency call. Oh, I hate this kind of stuff.

• 1:11:52Theo Von?

  I just say when the lines get crossed or whatever, you ever do that?

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Oh, like a party line?

• 1:11:57Theo Von?

  Oh, when I was a kid. Yeah, like when I was a kid or whatever. You'd be talking to your friend and then it would cross over and you'd just have some big guy's voice. It's like, these are gonna die. You're like, who was that?

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Talking, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:08Theo Von?

  Just a line. You've never even heard the voice before. Like the line would get crossed.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  And then it just stepped out.

• 1:12:13Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  No, I want to hear more about the McGriddle. What about on Instagram when they show cars doing donuts and they always hit somebody?

• 1:12:22Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  They go, street takeover. And no one's like, yeah. I'm like, God, everyone gets hit. You guys get at this point? These aren't professionals.

• 1:12:30Theo Von?

  Get out the way.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, get out the way.

• 1:12:32Theo Von?

  A 911 caller in Chatham County, Georgia, had a very hard time getting through to dispatchers when he thought someone was breaking into his home.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Chatham County problem.

• 1:12:40Theo Von?

  Get some good old breakfast. When he finally did get through, he said the dispatcher was ordering breakfast. My wife called me.

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  Oh, we got a live report. Go ahead.

• 1:12:50Theo Von?

  Let's see it.

• 1:12:52Speaker 05

  911 call from earlier this year after the dispatcher was ordering breakfast.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  Look at that statement.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Wait, the disfa- so the person getting the call?

• 1:13:06Speaker 05

  It was in February, Dylan.

• 1:13:08Theo Von?

  Here we go. Let's hear more from the cars.

• 1:13:10Speaker 05

  Johnson was concerned about someone snooping around his home in the Savannah area. He called the non-emergency line first and then called 911 three times. After finally getting an answer, he was shocked by what he heard during the call.

• 1:13:22Speaker 06

  If it, if it didn't happen to me, I wouldn't believe it had happened to someone else. That's how unbelievable it really is.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  Theo Von fan.

• 1:13:29Speaker 05

  Report on that call is complete. The findings will then be given.

• 1:13:32Theo Von?

  That lady looks like your mom a little spade.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  She looks like a reptilian.

• 1:13:36Theo Von?

  Yeah, never mind. Your mom looks weird.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  No, my mom's hot. My mom got her knee replaced.

• 1:13:41Theo Von?

  Did she?

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you haven't said shit about it. She might want you to call her.

• 1:13:46Theo Von?

  Oh, definitely, dude.

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  She's so excited. Oh, where's the movie?

• 1:13:50Theo Von?

  That's what she said?

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, is it fun? It's gonna be funny, I can tell. It just sounds fun. She's very positive. Yeah, she's very positive.

• 1:13:58Theo Von?

  She is?

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Busboy sounds fun, yeah.

• 1:14:00Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Dude, I was a busboy for, fuck, how long were you a busboy for?

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  Probably two years. I was the worst.

• 1:14:06Theo Von?

  That's it?

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:08Theo Von?

  Dude, you told me you were a busboy for a long time.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  I was a dishwasher for a year, then busboy, then busboy, then valet parker. No, I would be longer, except I got, I got fired over and over.

• 1:14:18Theo Von?

  Dude, she does, that does look like the lady. Your mom, dude, your mom likes Jade, so does my mom.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Oh, Jade? Oh, that's turquoise, but she wears a lot of Jade and she wears a lot of turquoise.

• 1:14:26Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, turquoise, dude, desert jade.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, she loves it.

• 1:14:29Theo Von?

  That sand jade, they call it, you know, in some circles.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Look at me with makeup on.

• 1:14:34Theo Von?

  God. Does your mom have a good sense of humor?

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  She's the best, yeah. She's hysterical.

• 1:14:39Theo Von?

  My mom looks like Willie Nelson. Bring up Pitch Rover.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Bring up real Willie.

• 1:14:43Theo Von?

  But she's awesome, too, and she absolutely.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  Does your mom like me?

• 1:14:46Theo Von?

  She loves you.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Does she really?

• 1:14:48Theo Von?

  She would way rather have you.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Look at cute. Is that you in a bandana?

• 1:14:52Theo Von?

  There's my mom right there.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  Oh, where were you guys?

• 1:14:54Theo Von?

  Maybe I would have loved.

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  Maybe I didn't love you.

• 1:15:00Theo Von?

  Why did it all?

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  What if she took off a mask and it was Bobby Lee the whole time?

• 1:15:03Theo Von?

  You were always.

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  You're always, oh, my, I love Elvis and Willie is great. My mom's favorite person is Willie, favorite performer.

• 1:15:12Theo Von?

  You're lying.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  I swear to God.

• 1:15:13Theo Von?

  That's my mom's favorite, dude.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Look at him.

• 1:15:15Theo Von?

  Look at him, look at my mom.

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Oh, he's sexy. I don't care about the wrinkles. He is sexy. He's so good.

• 1:15:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Talent.

• 1:15:21Theo Von?

  Oh, my mom says I like to climb up those braids and get into them.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  Your mom's got a side pony going.

• 1:15:26Theo Von?

  Yeah, she rocks that shit.

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  Where are you guys? Which, um, Waffle House is that?

• 1:15:30Theo Von?

  Uh, that's one of, actually, it's, that was ranked one of the top 600 Waffle Houses.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  She's like, you're so rich, where are you taking me? You're like, oh, pulling a Waffle House. Oh, you wanna go somewhere else? Beep, beep. She's like, no, we can have the buck ninety-nine special. You're like, wow, I just feel like it's your most comfortable here.

• 1:15:46Theo Von?

  She like, dude, she likes it. Ever since RFK Junior cleaned up, there's some of, some of their feeding patterns over there.

• 1:15:52Speaker 01

  Do you have syrup?

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  That was overheard.

• 1:15:56Theo Von?

  We're gonna start using, I will piss.

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you hear about the guy that tried to piss in his pool or something?

• 1:16:04Theo Von?

  No, some guy was leaving piss somewhere and they hit him with a hammer. What was that article I saw with that hammer dude?

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  I don't know if that's the whole story.

• 1:16:09Theo Von?

  What was that article I saw with the hammer dude?

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Oh my god. This is the last one, ready? Lot of pee. Man has no idea who's putting gallons of urine in his

• 1:16:18Theo Von?

  Recycling bin.

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  We should have started with this one. I like this one.

• 1:16:21Theo Von?

  Or why? It's a lot of pee and man has no idea who's putting gallons of urine in his recycling bin or why?

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Oi, big ass, big gun, big gully.

• 1:16:27Theo Von?

  Dude, it's Kappa Sig, that's who's doing it.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  Dude, I'll tell you, this guy also is on Instagram trying to fill his pool with piss himself. And it's been a year and it's not that much. And I can tell you, it's gonna take him longer. I figured out, Dane and I, on our podcast figured out, if you try to piss to fill up the Grand Canyon, if every person did it, once a day, it would take 800 years.

• 1:16:52Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:16:53Theo Von?

  It's not that long.

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  That sounds like a lie, but that, it isn't that long, but the Grand Canyon is bigger than you think.

• 1:16:59Theo Von?

  Dude, remember when your parents left you at the Grand Canyon?

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  I know, don't even bring that up. It's such a sore sub.

• 1:17:06Theo Von?

  Just glad it's you and your mom are happy again.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  You don't know, maybe Joder's parents, they were maybe doing it as a favor for some reason.

• 1:17:14Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  Hmm, we haven't thought of that.

• 1:17:17Theo Von?

  TBD dude.

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  It's a little late to be thinking about this plot.

• 1:17:22Theo Von?

  Dude, the best thing was the, the, oh, that we got to sing the Beatles though, that was the best thing, I think.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Where was that?

• 1:17:28Theo Von?

  Probably on Busboys, on the movie.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  We did?

• 1:17:31Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  What did we sing?

• 1:17:32Theo Von?

  Anytime, we got to sing it, remember?

• 1:17:33Speaker 01

  Oh, we'd sing.

• 1:17:36Theo Von?

  Abbey Road.

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Off camera?

• 1:17:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking love the Beatles. Oh, I love the Beatles. McCartney, the Beatles, I love it all, man, dude.

• 1:17:44Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Alright, well, I gotta let you go.

• 1:17:47Theo Von?

  Alright.

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  I'm gonna stick around for a little bit, but I'm gonna let you take off. No, but thanks for having me. Miss you.

• 1:17:55Theo Von?

  Dandelion out now or coming out in the next day or two? Check it out.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  Yep, May 6th, Amazon. And check it out. Smash that button, whatever you're supposed to do.

• 1:18:07Theo Von?

  Hit that like and subscribe.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, whatever it is.

• 1:18:09Theo Von?

  You guys, one of the greats, one of the funniest people I've ever met, man. I feel lucky to be able to know you and I really feel lucky that you came over today, man. Just thanks for making us laugh, dude.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  I love it, dude. You always crack me up. And alright, guys. See you out there.

• 1:18:50Speaker 05

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