44 Daniel Negreanu: World's #1 Poker Player on Peak Performance and Stepping Into Greatness

In this episode he opens up about the mindset shift it took to overcome his limiting beliefs and the keys to his success for becoming the #1 player in the world. Please welcome this weeks professor of greatness, Daniel Negreanu. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 44 with Daniel Negreanu.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Yo, yo, yo. What's up, greats? Thanks so much for tuning in today. I'm very excited about this episode with the one and only number one poker player in the world, Daniel Negreanu. Now, I used to watch Daniel play poker about 10 years ago when I was in college. And I can't believe I was actually in college 10 years ago now, but I used to watch him on ESPN late at night. And I thought I'd try to be cool and play in the dorms with all the fellas, $20 cash games and play hold'em until like 4 a.m. in the off season. And I was never any good, but I thought I'd try to be good and be competitive. But I was just always too, I could just, I couldn't really, I didn't have a good poker face.

• 1:18Lewis Howes?

  So it was pretty embarrassing and I never really won anything, but it was a fun journey and it really helped me appreciate how challenging it actually is to be a great poker player. And I was a bad poker player in, you know, one college dorm. And let alone to be the number one poker player in the world, it's pretty incredible what Daniel's been able to create. And what's even more inspiring is that he used to be number one, then lost his mojo for a while, let's say his mojo. And then he got it back recently and won a couple bracelets and became number one in the world again. And I asked him, what was this entire transition? How come he was at the top, then he lost it all?

• 2:02Lewis Howes?

  Let's say he didn't lose it all, but he wasn't at the top anymore. And then he raised back up to the top. It was very interesting. I got to talk to Daniel before we started recording this interview. And we both went through the same type of peak performance, leadership training. And he told me that a lot of the success was due to what he learned about himself through this type of leadership, peak performance, emotional intelligence training. I thought it was very interesting to hear about how he went from not being number one to getting back up there pretty quickly and how he's maintained that ever since then. So it's very interesting and he talks about it briefly in this episode. But it's, it's pretty cool what we dive into.

• 2:44Lewis Howes?

  And we talk about really how Daniel got started in poker and his first five to six trips to Vegas that really ended in a failure and what he learned from those experiences. We also talk about the most important element to becoming a successful poker player. Why experiential learning is so important? How table presence makes you a stronger poker player? How to use feedback to maximize your growth? We also talk about how to build confidence like a professional poker player in your, in your business, in your career and in real life. Talk about the mental and physical preparation for top poker players and really how you can apply using the same type of mental preparation in your own life.

• 3:26Lewis Howes?

  Talk about the special skills for connecting with others and a lot more in this episode. I'm very excited to be bringing in Daniel to share with you all of his amazing wisdom in this episode. And I'm excited about this. I'm very pumped to introduce you guys to Daniel. Again, number one poker player in the, in the world. So let's go ahead and jump into it right now.

• 3:55Lewis Howes?

  Hey everyone and thanks again for coming back on The School of Greatness. I've got a very special guest on today. His name is Daniel Negreanu, currently ranked number one in the world in poker. And this is a guy that I was, you know, kind of following when I thought I was going to get into poker about 10 years ago when I was a college cocky kid, late night in the poker tables in the dorm rooms. And I would always watch on TV on ESPN when they were talking about Daniel and how amazing he was as a poker player. So I'm very excited to have you on. Thanks for coming on, Daniel.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  It's a pleasure to be on.

• 4:31Lewis Howes?

  And we were introduced through a mutual friend, Chris Lee, who trained both of us in a leadership training. And, you know, we were just chatting before this interview about what it's done for you. And it's done some amazing things in my life and career and relationships as well. So I wanted to happen to that eventually. But I'm just really interested in learning about your life and your success and kind of the the patterns that you've seen throughout the years. And I kind of want to just dive in to when you first got introduced to poker and what attracted you to playing poker in the first place?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Well, I started playing poker when I was a teenager. And really, before that, I was a pool player. You know, I was a snooker player in Toronto and, you know, got into sort of the gambling scene, if you will, meeting and got a lot of guys who do that. And then all of a sudden, I started playing poker. And I noticed the same guys kept winning. And my competitive spirit was always very, very strong. And I started to like, try to figure out what they were doing. And as much as I would have loved to have been a basketball player or hockey player, I was like, 5'9", a buck 40, that wasn't going to happen. And I was too big to be a jockey, too small to be an athlete. I'm stuck in the middle. And poker kind of really satisfied that competitive spirit that that was inside me.

• 5:48Lewis Howes?

  Amazing. So you started getting into poker. And well, you noticed a bunch of other guys were winning. So when did you realize the first moment that you actually had some skill or some natural talent and that you were good?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Well, you know, when you're young, when you're that age, when you're a teenager, you just think you know everything. You've got it all figured out. So there were many moments where I thought I had it all figured out. And then I'd get my head kicked in and be like, wait a minute, maybe not. Like, the first few times I went to Las Vegas in my early twenties, like, twenty-one-year-old kid, I'm gonna take over the poker world, and then walking home with my tail between my legs and my pockets empty. Cause, you know, these guys have seen hometown heroes come and go. And, uh, you know, I remember those being really important moments, those failures that I had the first five, six times I went to Vegas. In terms of, uh, me digging deeper and looking for an extra layer of determination to get through it and, and to just, you know, realize that, okay, if I, if I'm gonna win there, I'm gonna have to just get better.

• 6:41Lewis Howes?

  And when did you, how many times did it take until you went to Vegas where you actually came back either breaking even or not completely losing? But, you know, seeing like, oh, okay, I've got an opportunity here.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  I think, I'd say about the first five, six trips I took, uh, were non-successful. And, you know, it was a big adjustment period, but probably within about eight, seven, eight months of just going there back and forth from Toronto. What I'd do is I'd go to Vegas, blow my load, go back to Toronto, rebuild my bankroll, go to Vegas, blow my load. You know, rinse, repeat, right? Until I finally figured out what was, you know, what, what adjustments I needed to make to be successful.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  So you were like the king in Toronto then. You were just like cleaning up at all these different little poker tournaments and building a name for yourself. Then you'd go test it in the big leagues and you'd come home, you know, not winning a dime. And keep practicing and learning. I'm assuming you'd be reading all the books and studying and researching anything you could in the meantime, right?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Well, not exactly. Actually, for me, the, the real lessons I got was watching people. So for, if I knew a guy was a successful player, you know, I'd watch him for like a week. I'd dissect what he does well. If you ever saw that show called Heroes, there was a guy named Siler, who was a, uh, superhero. And what he did was, he sucked the, the, he sucked the talents out of other people and then left them for dead. And I use that analogy because essentially what I would do is I'd spend a week profiling a guy, figuring out what he does well. Take what I like, incorporate it in my game, and get rid of the rest. Then I'd move on to a next person next week. So for me, it wasn't a lot of books. It wasn't a lot of that. It was mostly just, you know, practical, you know, mentorship that, you know, I was just doing on my own with, with people in the game.

• 8:17Lewis Howes?

  How many hours were you putting in a week in those first few years?

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Well, as a teenager, I wanted to show my parents that I was serious about this and that I wasn't just, you know, gambling. So I would play Monday to Friday from noon to eight. I'd put in forty hour weeks. I did keep, I'd kept detailed records. I knew how well I did on Thursday afternoons versus Monday nights. And this is before software. I mean, I just handwritten all this stuff. And I'd keep a track of expenses, the whole deal. So I knew what my hourly rate was. I think when I was eighteen years old, I was probably making about forty-four dollars an hour in the game I was playing. Um, but I was very meticulous in that regard in terms of record keeping.

• 8:53Lewis Howes?

  Now, would you say you understand, I mean, it sounds like you're very analytical and you really track a lot of things. But would you say you actually understand human behavior more so than the statistical side of the game?

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Well, I think in a lot of ways I have, you know, there's a couple of skills that you, that are required to be a good poker player. One is obviously, you know, being analytical, but the other more important one, I think, is, you know, people's skills and the ability to read into human behavior, as you said, and I think that's my bigger strength. Um, ability to get inside people's head, play psychological warfare, plant seeds that I plan to exploit later. Um, really just kind of break people down and, and, you know, figure out their weaknesses.

• 9:33Lewis Howes?

  What's one of your favorite moves or, you know, strategy moves you've ever created in, in a, in a game? Maybe even a big pressure game that you will just always remember as one of like the greatest moves you've ever done so far? Where you really set someone up and then later you just had it perfectly set up and you got exactly the result you wanted?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Well, I could list like a hundred of those, but they all break down to the same idea, which is, um, there's very few people who do what I do. In the, in terms of, I do a lot of table talk. I do a lot of talking and, um, you know, truly confusing people into doing what I want. So a lot of times I'll say something to set somebody up for a later, uh, situation, you know, where, uh, I talked. Uh, there was like one example from the six bracelets that I just won recently against an incredible player named Phil, Phil Bort, we call him. Phil Gruesome, where, um, I raised and I was talking a lot and being sloppy and he re-raised. And so later, when I had a really, really strong hand, I, I was talking a lot and I sort of taunted him. And I looked at him, I was like, really? You just never leave me alone, do you? You just like, can't let one go, can you? And my, I wanted him to do that. I wanted him to do that.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  And so he did. And, and it was actually kind of a key pot for me at that point, so. I definitely use my mouth. That's definitely a tool that's consistently been something that I go to when all else fails.

• 10:49Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, amazing. Now, if you couldn't use your, your words, do you think you'd be as an effective poker player?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  No, I don't think I'd be as effective. I still think I'd be, you know, obviously a winning player, one of the best, but part of what I think is interesting about poker is that you can create a table image or, you know, about self-awareness. So now I understand how people view me, right? And what they think. And now I can exploit that. So if people think, for example, "Oh, Daniel, he bluffs all the time." Okay, now that I know that, well, I'm not gonna bluff them. Or conversely, if they think, "Oh, Daniel, he never bluffs here." Okay, well, this is the perfect guy to bluff. So self-awareness is probably the most important attribute to being, coming to a successful player.

• 11:28Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Now, how, uh, how much self-awareness did you have? For the first, I guess, 15 years until you did the, the leadership training that I did as well?

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Well, to be honest, I, I feel like that's something that's always been a strength of mine, uh, you know, self-awareness especially at the poker table and I've always been somebody who, you know, as you mentioned, has been analytical. Um, but what I got out of doing, uh, what I did was the different one than you. I was in Las Vegas doing Choice Center. And, um, what I got out of it was like a new level of self-awareness and really sort of like, you, you can read all you want in books, you know, and, and theory, but it's completely different on when you're not actually just, when you actually experience something, it sticks with you longer. So experiential learning is like the next frontier. You can read a hundred books or have one experience over a weekend and that experience sticks with me much stronger than any books did.

• 12:16Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, yeah, amazing. So you, so you're always had a lot of self-awareness, but you feel like you have heightened self-awareness now, since then?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Well, definitely heightened self-awareness and also, you know, uh, like, yeah, and more specifically, like specifically what I got out of, out of, you know, completing Choice Center was, I got, I got real in touch with my confidence and not realizing there was a connection to this woman who I was absolutely in love with this girl and, uh, she, you know, she quote unquote, "broke my heart." And, um, I'd gotten over it before I went, but I didn't realize there were still wounds there. And what I didn't realize is the effect on that situation on the rest of my career in, you know, in every, not just my career, but in my life, it hurt my confidence at the poker table. My self-esteem was down. Um, now when other people started talking about, "Oh, Negrono, yeah, he's over the hill. He can't win anymore." I started to believe it. I started to buy into what they had to say.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  And not only till I really dealt through that, through some of the experiential learning that you've done as well, did I really realize like, oh my God, who knew that there was a connection there? And once I attacked it after leadership, I went on an absolute tear. I've won, you know, three and a half million dollars in tournaments and got back to number one in the world.

• 13:28Lewis Howes?

  And when was this relationship that you had your heart broken?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  I'd say it ended in 2011. It was on and off for about three years, but it ended, yeah, July of 2011.

• 13:37Lewis Howes?

  It's very interesting you say that. We have a lot in common, more than I thought so, is because right before I went to my leadership training, I was about six to eight months of me kind of getting over a heartbreak as well. And it kind of had me lose my mojo in a lot of areas. I felt like I was getting it back and business was still great and everything, but I just didn't have 100% of the confidence that I had before. And that's a lot that opened up for me as well, is kind of letting go of that and getting through it as opposed to holding on to this resentment or this hurt feeling that I had. And since then, it's just been like, everything's working in unison the way I envisioned it. And it's been a beautiful experience. So it's interesting you had a similar thing that happened.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. And to touch on that, I actually, I listened to the podcast with you and Chris Lee, and he talked a little bit about survival, and I'm sorry, being a victim and being responsible. And I remember one moment, just framing the story of her differently, where I told it, the first way I told it was just as I would, you know, where she did this to me, she did that to me, and oh my God, all this, right? And then, you know, one of the exercises we did, I was asked to sort of frame, you know, frame it a little differently and say, okay, well, what were you responsible for? And then I went, oh my God, what an idiot. When I met her, she was with somebody else. She'd already told me she wasn't really to be in a relationship. She lied to me three times and I went back. She didn't do anything to me. I chose all of it. And it's so empowering, because once I realized, you know, that

• 15:05Speaker 01

  nobody has really the power to make you or break you. It's all based on the choices you make. So it was really like an aha moment for me when I went, huh, she didn't do anything. And I view her differently now than I did before as well. I remember the good times.

• 15:17Lewis Howes?

  You don't resent her anymore?

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Not even a little bit. Now I look, I think back fondly. I'm actually grateful for the relationship because she opened me up to being more spontaneous, having more fun, doing things I wouldn't have. And the other stuff is just not something that I focus on anymore.

• 15:34Lewis Howes?

  Wow, so powerful. I love this stuff. Um, so tell me, what have you learned in your, I guess, twenty plus years of playing poker? What is it twenty-three years now playing poker since you were sixteen? Is that what you said?

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I started when I was about seventeen, so it's been twenty-two years.

• 15:51Lewis Howes?

  Twenty-three years of poker. And I would say intense poker, you're doing it full-time, obviously. What?

• 15:59Lewis Howes?

  Tell me a few things you've learned about people and, uh, you know, people in general, what you've really learned about human behavior and what type of people there are out there, and what you can just pick up on people very easily and quickly. And it could be over poker, on business, over dinner, whatever it may be. But what is there some things you've just really learned about people, maybe behaviors that we all tend to have? Can you share some light on that?

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you know, and this definitely connects us to the training in that, um, I've spot, you know, throughout my career, there's certain people that I'll pick on, right? Where I bluff them, I attack them, I go after them. And those are the people that generally say things like, I'm the unluckiest player in the world. Nothing ever happens well, good for me. Like, I, they're just completely, they live like a victim. So, for example, a poker example, if a scary card comes on the river, right? I'll try to, I'll try a big bluff on them because in their mind, like, of course he caught that card. That always happens to me. Nothing good ever happens to me. So, I pick on them. When you see somebody come to your table conversely, where they're confident, they have a positive attitude, uh, they seem like they belong, this

• 17:07Speaker 01

  is a guy with a good table presence, right? And I believe that that's very important. And it's a testament also to how, like poker's a mirror for how people live their lives. And you see the best and the worst of people, most importantly, when they're losing. You know, when you're winning, it's easy to be happy and haha, everything's great. It's when you lose for like a month or two, what happens to that person, to their psyche. Then you see the real truth in terms of like, what they're dealing with and who they are.

• 17:32Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. So what do you like when you're losing?

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Well, I like to pride myself on being somebody who's, again, very self-aware.

• 17:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Um, and I would say the biggest, you know, change is like with anything, you start to second guess, maybe. Starting to second guess, you know, and that's, you know, again, an issue of confidence. So I'll analyze myself, I'll look at the hands, I'll discuss it with friends, and I'll be like, am I playing bad or not? I'll always look for feedback from friends. And, you know, there's two different types of feedback that I can get in poker. And that's, you know, some comes from my friends who I respect, and others, if you just read the internet forums, you know, you got 15-year-old kids posting on there, Negron who sucks, man, he can't play a leg. Like, if I focus on that stuff, that's not very, like, empowering. But, you know, discussing with friends like Phil Ivey and others like that, you know, that's, they'll, they'll tell me like, no, no, you're playing good.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  And, um, again, I think at this point, I'm very, very self-aware in terms of knowing the difference between if I'm playing poorly, or, you know, I'm just, you know, not confident.

• 18:29Lewis Howes?

  How does someone build confidence, do you think?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, obviously, one of the ways is to do something like Choice Center or the leadership program that you did, because, um, you know, the, the biggest mistake I think a lot of people make is, you know, they continue to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result, the definition of insanity, as I sense it.

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Um, so I think, you know, building confidence, first and foremost, you want to pick, you want to start out playing in a game you're comfortable in. Like, I wouldn't play against the pros in your, for your first time, you know, sit in a game where you feel like you are one of the better players. And, you know, or conversely, if you were playing at a certain level and you're not doing as well, go down a little bit and rebuild confidence if your confidence has been shattered. Uh, it'd be similar to like a baseball pitcher, you know, where he's just not doing well in the majors, go down to the minors for a couple of weeks. Get your confidence back, come on back, and then, uh, with, with a, you know, recharged, renewed look on, on the situation.

• 19:24Lewis Howes?

  How do you look at failure?

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Well, I look at failure as an awesome opportunity. I really do. And as I said, I mean, in my life before I became successful, I had to have been broke at least 20 times. And each one of those 20 times was a learning experience. Yeah, sometimes I had to learn the same thing over a couple of times. But the point where it really forced me to dig deep, see what was underneath, like when my back was against the wall. And I found that I have that ability when my back's against the wall to really thrive under pressure. And that's one of the things that's made me a good tournament player, because the stress levels when you're at the end are at their highest, but it's when your focus needs to be at its peak.

• 20:05Lewis Howes?

  So how do you prepare for a big tournament or a big game mentally and physically? What do you do to get ready?

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Well, I'm a big proponent of sleep. I mean, when you play poker, sometimes we're playing 12 to 15 hour sessions. You know, if your mind's not, if you're not rested, you're just not going to be at your peak. So eight hours of sleep, I eat really well. I'm actually a vegan. So I, you know, I try to eat clean, not processed foods. When I'm on the road, it's a bit more of a struggle. Aside from that, you know, I'm very, I'm physically active, work out four times a week. But in terms of actually preparation for the poker tournament, I'm, I've played so many years now, there's no specific training I need to do for the poker tournament outside of just making sure that my mind's at peace, I'm rested, I don't drink alcohol, no caffeine, none of that stuff before a tournament.

• 20:54Lewis Howes?

  So you, it sounds like you really take your body and your mind, you treat it like you're a professional athlete. And it sounds like where you're getting, you know, a lot of sleep, you're, I mean, vegan, that's pretty like hardcore and, and working out. What type of workouts do you do?

• 21:11Speaker 01

  Well, I work out with a trainer four days a week. You know, actually, we do like we lift and then I, you know, I do some, you know, cardio stuff and yoga on the side when I'm not working out with her. November's been no booze, no bread month for me. So I'm going hardcore.

• 21:27Lewis Howes?

  This is amazing. And do you feel like the sleep, the eating, and the physical working out plays a big part of your success and being able to stay on point throughout these tournaments?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think so. And again, this came from a learning lesson in my early twenties when, you know, I was just like everybody else. You know, the night before a tournament, we'd go out, we'd have dinner, we'd have wine, and we'd have drinks later. It'd be four o'clock in the morning, and you're still not asleep. And now you're like hungover for the first day. Uh, and I did that for, you know, a good solid year or two. And then I thought, you know, what am I doing here? Is this a job or not? You know? And one of the dangers, one of the, one of the great things and one of the dangers about being a poker player is you are your own boss. So you're not accountable to anybody but yourself. So if you're not looking after, you know, your best interests financially, mentally, spiritually, whatever, then who is? So I took it upon myself, say, okay, well, I'm gonna set some rules here.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  No alcohol the night before a tournament, period. And that was like one of the biggest ones, you know?

• 22:29Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. It's important, yeah. And then you also playing golf on the side, just like different recreation activities?

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Oh, totally. Golf is, I think golf is like a perfect, uh, you know, perfect actually addition to a poker player's lifestyle, which poker players are often out late, inside a casino, golf, you're outside, you're in the sun, you're still competing, and you're still stimulating your mind and, you know, gambling, uh, gambling happens there too. So, yeah, it's, uh, I love golf. Gambling at golf is probably my most fun form of gambling.

• 22:57Lewis Howes?

  Do you usually win?

• 22:59Speaker 01

  I started out doing very poorly. Uh, there were millions of dollars that went from my hands to other people's. And then I got, um, a personal caddy slash coach, uh, named Christian, who, uh, you know, he helped me turn things around. So I got it all back, plus a little bit of gravy.

• 23:16Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is your, your second favorite sport to play? Besides, I guess, besides poker and golf, what do you play next? You like, are you a big chess guy?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  No, you think that's a sport too?

• 23:27Lewis Howes?

  Well, then, a game, whatever you wanna call it.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Well, I'm Canadian, so, you know, I played street hockey growing up. I also played soccer, played basketball. I played it all. But, uh, yeah, actually here in Vegas, um, often on Thursday nights, we play indoor soccer with a group of poker players. Yeah.

• 23:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow, this is awesome. I love it. Who'd have known? This whole underground community of, uh, sports playing with all the poker guys. That's awesome. So what's your big dream? What's your big vision? You've done it all. It sounds like you've been number one in the world twice. You've won millions. You're, you know, six bracelets. Is that what you said?

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Yep.

• 24:01Lewis Howes?

  Bracelets. Like, what's the dream? What's the vision next? You're thirty, in your late thirties.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Thirty-nine.

• 24:06Lewis Howes?

  You've got tons of time, tons of life left, hopefully. And what's the vision?

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Well, that's a good question. Um, you know, well, the first, the first one that's on my mind right now is when I'm forty. I have this cut out because I believe in visualization.

• 24:20Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Uh, I have this cut out. It's of David Beckham, you know, ripped to shreds. And so that I've got that. I'm gonna do a side by side when I'm forty because I'd like to be in the best shape of my life when I'm forty. So I'm well on my way there. But more importantly, when I, before I went to Choice Center, I, um, you know, I had people, I have people work for me, you know, I have assistants, I have my golf guy, I have my manager. And then I realized that for ten years I isolated myself from the rest of the world in a lot of ways. And I didn't have, um, you know, that network. I pushed people away, you know, on a regular basis. And, you know, people always, I felt like they wanted something from me, whether it was money or whether it was association. So I really got disconnected. And, um, one of the things I realized is that I was missing love in my life.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  And not just, you know, talking about romantic love, although that is the vision right now.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Um, uh, yeah, I'm definitely looking to start a family of my own, you know, um, find the right woman and, uh, have a couple little Negreanu running around.

• 25:23Lewis Howes?

  Nice. Now, what do you mean you're missing out on love besides the romantic side of things? You mean just connecting with people in the world in general?

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, because I'd shut myself off. I, you know, I guess for a period when poker was getting more popular, I chose to, you know, I just found that I was, all the relationships I had were like five minutes. Like, hey, how you doing? Nice to meet you, da, da, da. But there was nothing, there was no depth there. And then, uh, You know, I ended up, uh, you know, one of my closest friends now is the person I did leadership with, Laura. And, uh, she, I actually just traveled with her for a month in Europe and, you know, I got to know her and the people in my group at a much deeper level and the best part of it was Laura, the first six weeks I knew her, she didn't know my name and she didn't know who I was at all.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Love that?

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was really great because it's, it's like, I felt like I got to learn, I got to meet people um, from the inside out and get to know them from the inside out.

• 26:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  You know, where after a while, I'm like, do you even like scary movies? What kind of food do you like? I asked all those questions after I already know, you know, part of her, so.

• 26:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Interesting way to get to know people.

• 26:27Lewis Howes?

  That's true. I mean, I spent three months with people I still don't know what they do for a living, but I got to know who they were as an individual and just like the loving, beautiful, magnetic being that they were. And I never had to talk about the other stuff, the surface stuff of like, where do you live and where do you work and, you know, those things, they just don't seem as important anymore.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you know, again, it's, it's, uh, it's actually opened my eyes too to just in terms of like in meeting people, um, understanding that, you know, that, that stuff is obviously when you meet somebody in a social setting, you're gonna stay on the surface, but you really don't know somebody until you really know them from the inside, you know, and what really makes them tick and their story and when they're vulnerable and you're vulnerable with them, uh, that's when connection is created. Otherwise, it's, you know, it's not possible for that to be present unless one, both of you are vulnerable with each other.

• 27:14Lewis Howes?

  Let's talk about vulnerability. Do you feel like you've ever really been vulnerable until, uh, you went through this experience?

• 27:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'd say that, you know, I've been an open book for most of my life, but seeing the power and understanding the power of vulnerability and also how we all as humans not only just crave it, but we need it. It's what makes us happy. It wa, it's what connects us to each other and realizing that it's okay, you know, I don't have to be strong and tough and and right all the time. I can be, um, open and I can be sad and I can, you know, talk about things that, you know, I'd like, that I don't have in my life or that I'd want, things like that and and for, for it to be okay and not to be feared, not to fear being judged, because the truth is when people are vulnerable, I mean, people don't usually get angry with them or judge them. They have empathy and they feel more connected because they think, oh my God,

• 28:04Speaker 01

  I've felt that same thing in my life a few times. So not until you share and be vulnerable, can you really connect with people, I think.

• 28:12Lewis Howes?

  So what are some things that you've learned on the poker table? That allow you to connect with people on an intimate, vulnerable, connected level? What are some things that you can share with the audience of how they can connect with a random stranger? Or someone in the business workspace or at the office? What are some things people can do to just really connect? So that person trusts you on the other end? Even though I know you're not really connecting to build trust on the poker table? But what are some things you've learned about that?

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, in poker, obviously at the table, I'm one of the few guys who does. I actually, like I said, I do a lot of talking, a table talk. And really it comes down to getting to know people. And the first, you know, the first step is just actually asking them questions about their life. And, you know, very few people hate the idea of talking about themselves. Most people are comfortable with that. So, um, you know, you want to like the idea of being a good friend is really somebody who's being a good listener. Not somebody who's, you know, telling you all about themselves. So really just showing an interest and actually caring about what people say and making eye contact. And, um, you know, asking follow ups. So ask about family, ask about people's goals and dreams. And you find that they, they just, people want to open up. They, they want to talk.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  So, um, you know, that's something I definitely learned as a byproduct of it originally being a strategy. Cause I wanted to know more about these people so I can exploit. Right? So, oh, you're a lawyer? Okay. I know not to trust you.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Stuff like that.

• 29:39Lewis Howes?

  That's funny. So first is being a good listener and really caring and following up with the people. Uh, what are some other things you've learned about really building a deep connection?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, you know, that it takes two to tangle in that regard. Like it's, it's not as simple as, okay, so you're asking questions this person, you know? You're getting to know them and then you're just going to be like a wall. You know, you have to, you have to be willing to go that extra mile too and share with them and, and let them know that, you know, you're willing to be vulnerable with them. So if you hear something that they say that relates to you, you, you can respond with like, you know? I went through the same thing as you did earlier when we talked about the girl.

• 30:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  You know, and I know I'm not the only one.

• 30:16Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure there's lots of us out there to experience that.

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  What's your biggest fear, Daniel? It seems like you're always so happy and, you know, got it all together and you're always in the top and making tons of money. And what really, what really kind of scares you?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  I'm not afraid of much, but I would say that my biggest fear is not giving and doing as much as I should or could to make a difference with the people around me and my community and like all these ideas that I have in my head to help change the world, uh, you know, fighting uh complacency or, you know, getting too like inwardly focused and getting wrapped up in my own life where I cease to, you know, have my eye on the bigger picture. So my biggest fear, I guess, would be like not living up to my full responsibility in terms of, you know, the high lofty, you know, goals I I set.

• 31:12Lewis Howes?

  What are some of those goals besides, you know, the family and the the love, the connection? What are some of those other goals?

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Well, much like you, you know, obviously you've done the training as well. For me, it was so impactful for me that I'd sent, you know, my people to work for me, my family, my friends. And um, it's one of those things. I just feel I I really, I believe the world would be a better place if everybody went through training, you know, like this or similar or something, you know. So, you know, inspiring people to want to make a difference and inspiring people to realize that like, it doesn't have to be this way. You have a choice, like you always have one, you know. I mean, there's always something you can do differently than you are now. And I get, listen, I get that people have brutal circumstances. And um, you know, I always use an analogy where, you know, you take two mothers, right, that both

• 31:58Speaker 01

  lost a a son to a drunk driver, right? And that's not their fault, and they have every right to be in pain about that. But how they react to that, you know, one mother becomes just despondent, is not there for the rest of her family and just detached. The other mother starts Mothers Against Drunk Driving and makes a difference in the world, you know. So I'm a big believer in, you know, yeah, and stuff like those things are not your fault, but how you respond to them in the future, like a year down the road, that's on you. That's that's your responsibility. I I believe that wholeheartedly. And again, I get circumstances, but I I there's so many people that, you know, choose differently and I I just want more people to be open to that.

• 32:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and so many people hold on to those circumstances and those conversations and stories and allow to control them for the rest of their lives so they never actually take action or go after their dreams or their goals. They just allow the story to control them. And like you said, you know, there's tons of people who've had. Horrible stories and circumstances that they've overcome. Uh, and they choose to think differently. They choose to live differently. And, uh, I think it's amazing that it's part of your vision that you want everyone to experience that because it's, it sucks watching people, especially that you care about, who are always holding themselves back based on stories and circumstances and, and past experiences opposed to breaking through it. And moving forward and being responsible.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, definitely. It's, it's definitely, it's addicting. Being a victim is addicting and it's just an easy way out. It's a cop out. To, you know, to blame every, everything else, every, all your situation, your story, whatever else may be, but like, it's just a much easier way to live, but it's not empowering and it's not fulfilling. And I, I, it's just such a beautiful thing when that light bulb turns in somebody's head and they go, you know what? I get it, like myself, you know, in the whole story with, with the girl that I was in love with and woe is me. Look what you did to me. Buddy, you chose all that. You could have left when the red flags were like waving in your face, like a hundred miles an hour, red flag, red flag. So now I look at it and I laugh at myself and I would never put myself in that, in those shoes again.

• 34:05Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. I feel the same way. I mean, in the first three months, I saw so many red flags and I was like, but I'm still gonna go after it and I'm still in love and this and that. And and then I just put myself through misery, but it's all good. And it was a great experience. So I definitely see where you're coming from. Um, what I want to know is, what has given you the drive for the last 23 years? What was it growing up?

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  Was there an experience? Was there a constant conversation? Was it your parents? Was there someone bullied you and said you were never gonna do something in the world? What gave you the drive, the determination to be so dedicated for the last 23 years of wanting to be the best in the world in poker?

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Well, you know, here, here I can only speculate and, you know, obviously one thing I believe is that I've always just sort of had determination and ability to like, you know, I, I thought I was born with a decent head on my shoulders, if you will. Having said that, you know, I could point to the fact that I was the shortest kid in my school, um, till the seventh grade. My brother's like, you know, six, three, two, 20, big, big guy. My dad was like a big manly guy. He was electrician and I was like the youngest and my mom babied me and I was very spoiled. Like my mom was the best. She would make me, you know, she would always make sure that I had lunch and when I was a kid, I resented it, but I, I really learned later to appreciate it.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  So I guess always the feeling that maybe I was smaller than other people, you know, that Napoleon complex, if you will, um, that I'd have to, you know, I, I, I didn't like, I, I don't know where it came from, but I never liked, I never responded well to anybody being condescending to me and that's still true.

• 35:46Lewis Howes?

  You're the youngest of two?

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, my mother had 11 kids, but nine miscarriages, so.

• 35:50Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. So when she had me, I mean, she smothered me with love, like she was so happy to just have me and I get that. You know, I remember being 31 years old and, uh, she made me a soup and I was putting the spoon in my mouth and she started blowing on it and I was like, mommy, listen, I'm 31 years old, you better stop. You can't do that no more. But she's like, I don't, I don't, I can't help it. You're always going to be my baby.

• 36:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I'm the youngest as well, but I was, I'm the biggest of the family. So I'm like the big jock and, uh, you know, luckily I got those genes, I guess, but I still feel like the runt sometimes and that was kind of my motivation to like be the best and at everything that I did. So let's talk about, go back into failure. I want to know about when you're just having a bad day and you're at the poker table and just nothing's falling for you and you can't table talk your way through anything. You're not getting the cards you need and you're just losing over and over and you feel pathetic. What do you tell yourself and how do you feel in those situations? I guess first, how do you feel when that's happening?

• 36:52Lewis Howes?

  Cause I'm sure it's happened many times over 23 years. And then what do you tell yourself to just, you know, snap out of it and continue forward as opposed to having it control you in a negative way?

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Well, you know, that's actually for one, I definitely don't ever feel pathetic. That's for sure.

• 37:07Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  You know, now that I've been doing it so long, um, I've learned to focus on what's in my control. So I beat myself up when it's me that made the mistake. But you know, if it was bad luck, like I had a pair of aces and the guy had a pair of tens and he caught a ten, that's, you know, that, that wasn't in my control. So I don't, you know, that's no big deal. I'm able to shift and go, okay, you know what? You're still doing the right thing. If I make my, if I make a mistake where I played a hand and I should have known better, those are a little more difficult to deal with. So what I do is actually what I do now, um, and again, I learned this at through Choice Center training was, uh, I stop, okay? And I look at what I have, I look at the situation, go, okay, you know what? Definitely screwed up here. And why did I screw up?

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Cause I wasn't as focused and I'm committed now to making sure that I'm focused from here on out. I'm going to put that behind me. And then I just shift my mind because if you don't, if you let that linger, you're not going to be present to what you're doing in the moment, which is the most important thing at a poker chip. You gotta be present. So if I'm, if 15 minutes later, I'm still thinking about the mistake I made on that hand, well, I've just, I've beat myself even worse. And you're going to make mistakes. It's how you respond to them. Again, you know, difference between responsible and victim. It's how you respond to those mistakes or bad beats that you take in a, in a poker tournament.

• 38:21Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. I love it. I appreciate you sharing all this and I really want to, the listeners to be able to take this information and apply it to whatever they're doing in their business or life. So these are all principles that you can apply in every other situation in life. And I appreciate you being open about this. Um, what about getting in the zone? Cause you're sitting there at the table for hours and hours. How do you stay in the zone? Or is it kind of going in and out when you know you need to get in the zone and then take a break? Because I feel like that'd be really challenging to be in the zone for, you know, 10 hours.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Well, definitely. That's one thing I've learned over the years. These poker tournaments that we play often take six days, and you're playing about 12 hours each day. So you're looking, you know, 70 hours of being at the table, something like that. So what I realized is, okay, you know, I'm not going to be able to maintain hyper-focus that entire time, right? So I choose the first couple of days to just kind of like, take it easy, soak it in, you know, get to know the people at my table. And then when we get down to about 25, 30 players, I'm able to just elevate to this new level of focus, where I just sense things, I feel things. If somebody licks their lip, you know, 20 meters to my left, I notice it and I know what it means.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  If somebody swallows, I can see it. It's just because I conserve my energy for the points where I feel like it's most necessary to be focused. Then really about pacing yourself, I think. Because we are human, and to focus at that level for an entire tournament, I don't think is realistic.

• 39:59Lewis Howes?

  And your funeral, what do you want people to say about you?

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Hmm. I don't want to ever die, but I guess I'm going to. So let's go with, well, what I'd like, I guess what I'd want to say is, I wanted to say is that, that I was outspoken and stood for what I believed was right, even if it meant standing alone, that I always looked to be inspirational and use the platform I was given to make a difference for other people.

• 40:34Lewis Howes?

  Love it. And what is your definition of greatness?

• 40:38Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness. I liked, I actually retweeted Chris's.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  So it's my new go-to.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  But I, you know, in a nutshell, along the same lines as Chris, is, you know, is greatness is achieving a life that you've had in your mind and a vision you've seen for yourself and actually just living it.

• 41:01Lewis Howes?

  So powerful. I love it. Where can we, where can we connect with you or follow you online? What's the best place?

• 41:08Speaker 01

  Well, the best way places, uh, I'm at Real Kid Poker on Twitter.

• 41:12Lewis Howes?

  Real Kid Poker on Twitter. And was there a main website that you want to direct anyone to to check out your stuff?

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Well, my, my homepage that I have is just a personal page. It's fullcontactpoker.com. And, uh, yeah, so I'm there every once in a while, but Twitter is basically the best way.

• 41:28Lewis Howes?

  Daniel, I appreciate it and, uh, I love our conversation and thank you so much for, for sharing openly.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  It was a pleasure, my man, and I love what you're doing. I think it's fantastic and I was really hoping that, you know, I could have the opportunity to be on your show because I, I listened to the last podcast and I think you're making a difference with this kind of stuff. So.

• 41:45Lewis Howes?

  Well, thank you. Maybe, maybe we can do some, uh, powerful leadership stuff in the future someday.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Sounds like a plan.

• 41:52Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it, man. Thanks so much.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  You got it, buddy.

• 42:06Lewis Howes?

  And there you have it, guys. Thanks so much for tuning in and big thank you to Daniel for just opening up and sharing his wisdom and his insights and his years and years of lessons and examples that we can all apply in our business and our life and our relationships. And what a, what an honor, what a privilege it was for me to, to connect with Daniel and I'm just so excited to be able to share this type of information with you. Again, this is the type of information that I was always looking for when I was 10, 15, 20 years old, just trying to figure out life in general, trying to figure out what it was going to take for me to get to the next level in, in sports, what it was going to take for me to get

• 42:48Lewis Howes?

  a scholarship in college, what it was going to take to make to the professional football league, and what it was going to take to make my first million. All, you know, I was always looking for this type of information to learn from successful people on all walks of life. And I'm just so blessed and privileged to be able to share this with you. And I hope that each week that this kind of just brings you some additional inspiration and some. Insights for you to apply to your own business, your own sports, your life, your art, your relationships, whatever it is, you're trying to create something magical in your life, I hope this gives you that spark of inspiration. And if you guys enjoyed this episode, please, I would love it if you shared it over on

• 43:29Lewis Howes?

  Facebook with your friends or over on Twitter and make sure to tag Daniel as well. We've got it all over on the show notes with his Twitter and Facebook page. So head on over to LewisHowes.com and you'll see Daniel's information over there and all the show notes about this episode. There'll probably be some videos and images of Daniel up there as well. And that's over at LewisHowes.com and SchoolofGreatness.com. And also wherever you're listening to this in the world, go ahead and tag yourself, post a picture and tag at Lewis Howes and Daniel's Instagram as well, over on Instagram. We'd love to just kind of see where you guys are in the world, where you're listening, where you're being inspired at with this interview with Daniel. And it'd be kind of cool to just check it out.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  So with that, guys, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there, play big today and do something great.