Babies at the Bar w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code GARBAGE at https://hellotushy.com/GARBAGE Smalls: For a limited time only, because you are an Are You Garbage listener, you can get 60% off your first Smalls order PLUS free shipping when you head to https://Smalls.com/garbage ExpressVPN: Protect your online privacy TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Who don't love a good podcast preview?

• 0:03H. Foley?

  Kippee, what's a teaser today?

• 0:04Speaker 00

  You're looking at it, baby.

• 0:05H. Foley?

  A teaser?

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Podcast preview.

• 0:08H. Foley?

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Hey, yeah.

• 0:33H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we found that it's good to be classy.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:38H. Foley?

  But you're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's in a new addition. She's out collecting cans.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  Doing pretty well for herself.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  That's pretty good.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  Doing pretty well for herself.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Good for her.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table, unamused this week.

• 0:56Speaker 00

  I lived.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  That's four hours of my day down the drain, no big deal.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  That's all you got done.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  That's all out of hard work.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  Plus, I was watching Apocalypse Now redo. That's like three and a half hours long.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  Toody's aren't gonna write themselves.

• 1:13H. Foley?

  This is what we call a family episode, ladies and gentlemen, just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is a new dad. He is a business owner. He is a homeowner. He is the king of the burbs. Look at him, fighter of the year, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. First of all, thanks for tuning in.

• 1:30H. Foley?

  Medium kippy.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  Me, slim, little, slim in the butt.

• 1:34H. Foley?

  I don't buy those are mediums. I believe you, but I don't buy it.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  This one's a large.

• 1:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  Swimming it.

• 1:44H. Foley?

  I was about to order a Big Mac, huh? Not doing so great, eh?

• 1:46Speaker 00

  Shout out, thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are fucking climbing the charts over there. Watch out, we're coming for that number. Eleven spots.

• 1:58H. Foley?

  We're getting there. We're getting there.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  We're coming for you, number thirteen. Obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/roygarbage. Also want to say over there, the boys are at an all-time high on Patreon. Shout out to the homies.

• 2:11H. Foley?

  Creeping up on that fifteen K where we're gonna go shoot each other.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  With real guns. If everything, I'm using real bullets, for sure.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  With paintball.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:21H. Foley?

  I gotta go.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  That's not how you say, you're gonna play paintball, you don't go shoot each other with paintball.

• 2:24H. Foley?

  Shoot each other with paintball guns. Are we not gonna shoot each other? You're gonna try.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  We gotta recruit teams, too, by the way. That was the big thing.

• 2:30H. Foley?

  I got a couple of guys. Couple of Rogans dudes.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  Fucking doing barrel rolls over the top of cars and shit, lighting me the fuck up.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  I think I get a hand grenade.

• 2:44H. Foley?

  Hey, how about this? Let's take a little walk by the corner office, say what's up to Lukey Patuki over here.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Ah, Mr. Dempsey.

• 2:50H. Foley?

  There he is.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Hi, boys.

• 2:52H. Foley?

  What is it, casual Friday with that shirt? I've been trying to read that goddamn shirt all day and it gives me a headache every time.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  Really complicated patterns.

• 3:00H. Foley?

  What is it, some band?

• 3:01Speaker 00

  In your, in your defense, reading isn't your strong suit.

• 3:04H. Foley?

  It's not that, it's just all, it's all.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  It's not not that.

• 3:06H. Foley?

  I can read.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Says a guy, only guy who says that, for sure can't read.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  You and Floyd Mayweather.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  Read a full page of a Harry Potter book.

• 3:17H. Foley?

  I couldn't do it. I hate that Harry Potter shit.

• 3:20Speaker 00

  We should try that on Patreon.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Oh, God.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  I probably couldn't do it either.

• 3:23H. Foley?

  That's too much.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  Also, uh...

• 3:25H. Foley?

  That and Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I can't read his books either. He uses the whole word.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  I don't know who that is.

• 3:30H. Foley?

  The whole, the whole name. He wrote Love and the Time of Collar and Thousand Years of Solitude.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  Hey, Thousand Island Dressing Zip It.

• 3:40H. Foley?

  I like the Catalina Chronicles. You a Catalina dressing man?

• 3:44Speaker 00

  No. Uh, you know what I want to talk about?

• 3:46H. Foley?

  The shirt! What it was, what's it say?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  I don't even know, it's got...

• 3:50H. Foley?

  Oh, God, you're such a hipster.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  No, but it's got the Yu-Gi-Oh! characters on it.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Who the fuck is that?

• 3:55Speaker 02

  It's a crazy company.

• 3:56H. Foley?

  Who's Yu-Gi-Oh? That's a guy I went to school with. Jamie Yu-Gi-Oh. Russian kid.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Don't fuck with him. Pasha Yu-Gi-Oh.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  Took one in the back of the head in Limelight one night, huh?

• 4:10H. Foley?

  Down on Delaware Ave.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Our previous guest and friend, Chaz Palmitary, was a bouncer there, right?

• 4:20H. Foley?

  That's right. So is my boy Phil Frack. My brother's boy.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:25H. Foley?

  Shout out to him.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  Man, he really moving the fucking goalpost on that. My best friend in the whole world. I met him one time.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  I know Phil Frack. What are you talking about?

• 4:32Speaker 00

  Sure. Um...

• 4:33H. Foley?

  What's the shirt?

• 4:34Speaker 00

  He doesn't know, man.

• 4:35H. Foley?

  Where'd you get it?

• 4:36Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

• 4:41H. Foley?

  It sucks, whatever it is.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Cheetos.

• 4:43H. Foley?

  What does that mean?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  It's very odd for you to wear that.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  It's clearly Asian, man. No one understands.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  Is that what it is?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  It's an amalgamation.

• 4:50H. Foley?

  An amalgamation?

• 4:51Speaker 00

  Hey, stop saying big words.

• 4:53H. Foley?

  Isn't that a metal? Anyway, we wanted to stop by, say what's up to you, peek in a little bit, see what's going on. Everything cool?

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Everything's good.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  I have, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to cut you off.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Not bad. I'm just saying.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  Can we move on from a t-shirt you don't understand?

• 5:05H. Foley?

  I'm doing the corner office.

• 5:06Speaker 00

  I got a, I got a job for him.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  We need a fucking plant for you back there, by the way. And some of those knockers on the table.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Now we're talking tits.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  Get a set of canes, a little eye candy walking around.

• 5:19H. Foley?

  Your new secretary, Ramona.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  A little bit of cany walking around. Now we're sexual harassment.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  I had a, I have a new business proposition that we should run this up to Dempsey Group.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  I was, uh, you know, as, as AYG is a subsidiary of, uh, you know, the Dempsey Group and all other subsidiaries.

• 5:39H. Foley?

  Are we gonna ask the fans for money?

• 5:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, they listened. Hey, hit me up. Let me get a little bit of cash. I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but I was in, um, I don't know what it would be, and this is more of, this is more of like a think tank, and it's more a little, we're doing Patreon a little bit.

• 5:52H. Foley?

  Isn't that political, a think tank?

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Nah, maybe. I don't know. I know it's not Yu-Gi-Oh.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  I know Jimmy Yu-Gi-Oh ain't in it. Uh...

• 6:02H. Foley?

  The shortstop?

• 6:03Speaker 00

  They, uh, I was at a mall recently, and there's a lot of...

• 6:07H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  There's, things are going well. Free AC in this heat. I, um... I don't have Sabaro's you can ask for. Uh, there are a lot of open mall kiosks, and I thought it would be fun.

• 6:20H. Foley?

  Have an AYG one?

• 6:21Speaker 00

  No, not AYG, but me and you.

• 6:23H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 6:24Speaker 00

  Get at a kiosk and work it for a weekend of selling, I don't know what we would sell.

• 6:29H. Foley?

  What about selling AYG cards?

• 6:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's a little too like actually fun. That's like actually our business. We should have to sell like cellphone cases. Like, me and you should be, we should be mall kiosk guys, trying to get free samples, spraying people with cologne. Whatever, we gotta come up with whatever product we're trying to push.

• 6:48H. Foley?

  We have to get that product though. See, those guys usually have connections to the Middle East. To get those.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  We got Jimmy Yu-Gi-Oh. How do you think, he's not connected down at the ports?

• 6:57H. Foley?

  You think we can get our hands on some cheap cellphone cases?

• 7:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, Amazon.

• 7:01H. Foley?

  Yeah? What's the markup gonna be on that? What's the lunch break situation?

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Starts now. Put these cameras in a bag.

• 7:09H. Foley?

  Will we work it together or I have to go in and do a shift by myself?

• 7:11Speaker 00

  No, we work it together. We be having fun, grab ass and stuff. Maybe a girl with a big set of cans walking around.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  I like that.

• 7:18Speaker 00

  Whatever it is.

• 7:19H. Foley?

  I know a good move for that.

• 7:20Speaker 00

  I wanna sell those, I wanna sell those, uh, those dogs that like flip.

• 7:25H. Foley?

  Oh, that'd be awesome. Or the frogs that swim.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  Something like that.

• 7:29H. Foley?

  I know a guy down in Canal Street that can hook us up with those.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  Jimmy Frog.

• 7:33H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking about? The ones that swim?

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:35H. Foley?

  Patty loves those. She used to put it in the pool every year. That was always her thing, to get a couple of those and a bunch of handbags. Bunch of knockoff Guccis.

• 7:43Speaker 00

  What's she on a bus trip? Doing that?

• 7:46H. Foley?

  Bunch of Luchis.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  That's always the person that gets killed in Law and Order. Down here on a bus trip to get cheap knockoff bags and frog looking at.

• 7:53H. Foley?

  That was Patty's move.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Had a couple of other things.

• 7:57H. Foley?

  She used to run when the cops would come and the guys would fold up the carpet and take off. Yeah, she'd be on the move. Scatter!

• 8:04Speaker 00

  She ends up in the back of her car with a bunch of those guys.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  She's working comms, she's on the lookout up in, up in fucking, next to Port Authority.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  Fucking RPG in the sunroof. That's too far.

• 8:19H. Foley?

  I had one ISIS real quick.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  They're not ISIS.

• 8:25H. Foley?

  It ain't the good old boys, right?

• 8:29H. Foley?

  They ain't the Oakridge boys, you know what I'm saying? They talking about the eight-ices. What?

• 8:38H. Foley?

  They the Fraternal Order of Police, I'll tell you that.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  You know, for jobs, they have to be on the move real quick. I never understood why they all wear flip flops. Buddy, get a, but get a tennis shoe on the fuzzes after ya.

• 8:53H. Foley?

  One of those guys, you throw on a hookah, they'll never catch ya.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  You'll be in your fucking jersey by the time that guy gets out of the car. Those fat ass cops.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  They'll be across the G W B in a heartbeat.

• 9:10H. Foley?

  Trying to outrun Officer Lousowski with fucking a busted flip flop on? Man had a newspaper? Get outta here. Maybe that's how they do it. They like the, the, the-

• 9:19Speaker 00

  The chase.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  No, the grounded foot on the feet, you know what I mean?

• 9:23Speaker 00

  Sure. Also, yeah.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  I need some comfort.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Get me an escalator.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  I got a-

• 9:32H. Foley?

  No way I would run.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  No, I'm not even-

• 9:34H. Foley?

  Helping all that shit?

• 9:35Speaker 00

  I'm not even a runner in my dreams. I always hide whenever I'm getting chased. I always hide, bitch. I have a little puss. Little puss puss. Uh, I got a, I got something I wanted to run by ya.

• 9:48H. Foley?

  Please. My door is always open? Is that it with the, with the offer?

• 9:52Speaker 00

  What offers? What are you doing?

• 9:54H. Foley?

  What did you want the Dempsey Group to do with that?

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Find out what we can sell, or maybe, maybe fucking, what do they say? Sound off in the comments. What could we, so, what is a good that would be fun to try to sell, even if it's like a-

• 10:07H. Foley?

  Hit up your old man, find out what we could sell, tell him to buy it, tell him to lock the location.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  He's never been to a kiosk. Yeah. Probably owns a kiosk, probably who we have to cut the check to.

• 10:17H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, something, well, I don't know, some sort of cheap consumer product we can do a big markup on.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  I like the flipping dogs.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, that may have something like that.

• 10:29H. Foley?

  But there's gotta be something hot now like that now.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Oh, the Labubu dolls.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  What?

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like the new hot thing. There's like, uh, they're like collectibles.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  I'm the new hot thing. I don't know if you've seen-

• 10:41H. Foley?

  But you hear about that guy that handles the Annabelle doll? They found him in a hotel, and the Annabelle doll wasn't in a hotel.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  I don't know what you guys are talking about.

• 10:49H. Foley?

  A demonic doll.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Spooky.

• 10:52H. Foley?

  This guy that handles it was in a hotel with her.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  He fucking is... I'd be a little upset too if this fucking creepo was banging me out in a hotel.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  I'd be a little demonic myself. I'd have a bit of an edge to me.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, you got every right to be fucking pissed every time you're out.

• 11:18H. Foley?

  They found a guy dead in a hotel, they don't know where the doll is. I think that's the story. Do they know where the doll is?

• 11:25Speaker 02

  I think they know where the doll is. I think he just had a heart attack in the room.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, no shit. All that pussy.

• 11:32H. Foley?

  All that scary pussy.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  I'll scare the shit out of you. Talk about dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.

• 11:41H. Foley?

  Do with a reverse minotaur or something, I don't know what they do. Freaky dicky. Alright.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  Now, what'd you want to ask me?

• 11:55Speaker 00

  God. I, uh, as you know, I'm a bit of a dirtbag myself genetically in me.

• 12:00H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  Right? I can't shake it. I am who I am.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  That's why I love you.

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Trying to be a little bit of a better man, you know? I got a future generation on my hands here. I'm trying to, trying to lead by example.

• 12:08H. Foley?

  You want them to be better. You're cool. You just want them to be better.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  I am cool.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  Yeah. No, I mean, you're okay.

• 12:13Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 12:14H. Foley?

  You don't gotta worry about improving your... Do I look at the generations? You don't gotta worry about improving yourself. You just gotta make sure that they got their shit together.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, but-

• 12:20H. Foley?

  They automatically, naturally will theoretically.

• 12:23Speaker 00

  What? You're doing what?

• 12:25H. Foley?

  They automatically, naturally will.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  Theoretically.

• 12:28H. Foley?

  Theoretically.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  A lot of adjectives in there.

• 12:30H. Foley?

  Sure. They should on their own, just from the position that they're starting from, be okay.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, but there's-

• 12:37H. Foley?

  Pussy seems like a good shit.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  This goes back to like the, what, now with the, with the, with the little Kipperino, I question myself, what is more in, would it, nature versus nurture of the whole trash thing? What is in me? What has learned? What is... And I gotta be honest with you-

• 12:55H. Foley?

  I think it's nurture.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  Sure. I mean, you get generational dirtbags, though. That's, some things start changing in there. Well, here's my thing. What, what age is too young to take a baby to a bar?

• 13:12H. Foley?

  Well.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  Cause I got a number for ya.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  I was going to bars with my grandfather, the 112th Tavern, I believe on Kidder Street or Scott Street. Uh, I think actually ran in connection to that. Then it became Ziggy's. My cousin, cousin opened it up.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Burlesque place.

• 13:29H. Foley?

  Years later. Um, I don't know, me and my brother would go there when I think when I was like two. He'd just prop us up, he'd have some beer. Day drinking, not at night.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Hey, gentlemen.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  Yeah. He'd go there and have some, he was an old man, he was my grandfather.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Sure. Well, I hit happy hour at the Lazy Bass this weekend.

• 13:49H. Foley?

  Ooh, that's nice.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  With my baby.

• 13:51H. Foley?

  That's okay.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  Not bad, right?

• 13:52H. Foley?

  No. Were you at the bar?

• 13:54Speaker 00

  Huh? How else am I gonna get fucking beers?

• 13:58H. Foley?

  That's working. No, you went there with the missus and sat down outside and, and nice.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Well, my mom, my cousins, my aunt and uncle.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  Nah, that's cool.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  I don't know, I was catching eyes. I was.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  Well, you weren't at the bar.

• 14:11Speaker 00

  What?

• 14:12H. Foley?

  Were you at the bar?

• 14:12Speaker 00

  I had to walk by though. I was at a picnic table next to the bar.

• 14:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, and the baby was parked in the stroller in the hot sun right next to you.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  With green head flies all over. It's on a bay. It's just under the bridge.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  It left him in the car.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  What a name, the Lazy Bass. Then he starts crying, so I.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  I just want a nice piece of fish.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  A piece of hay.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Daddy! Um.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  That secretary get in here?

• 14:37Speaker 00

  Where's that doll at? Um, this is also, I mean, we're in North Wildwood, Lazy Bass, never been, shout out to it. Nice joint, right? It's not on the island, it's off the island. No, but it's like you're right when you're coming in, it's right on the, it's on the bay. So it's like, gotta be, whatever.

• 14:53H. Foley?

  On the other side.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  On the other side.

• 14:55H. Foley?

  Of the bridge.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Of the bridge. Of the little bridge, not the big bridge, of the little bridge. Nice.

• 14:59H. Foley?

  It's still Wildwood?

• 15:00Speaker 00

  I think it might be considered Cape May quarter. I don't know, what do you got? Uh, where is it?

• 15:06Speaker 00

  The Lazy Bass, Bayside Bar and Grill. Like that. I got North Wildwood zip code 08260, how you doing? Okay. It's open right now, closes at 10pm. Closes at 10? What are we doing? It's a Monday. So what? It's fucking the summer, we're down at shore. Close 10pm on Saturday too. 2am at least. Damn, I dunno, maybe there's an ordinance on them or something. Maybe too many babies were showing up. So here's the thing, caught some looks, for sure. There was a, there was a live band playing, so it wasn't... Ooh, you didn't mention that. Their name for their live music, we were going to see my cousin Sean, shout out Sean, he's a listener.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Is it a band? Nah, his boys are in a band, and they were playing Happy Hour over there at the Lazy Bass. He said, "Yo, throw that baby in a stroller and come have a fucking beer with the, with the crew, I got a crew." How's the band? They're pretty good. No shit, covers and all that stuff? Yeah, covers, originals. No kidding? Yeah, covering some like, uh, you know, some more country, like the Zach Bra- uh, Zach Bryan type stuff. No shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. It was good. Little crowd? Yeah, good crowd, big crowd, packed, packed bar. No shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm sitting there, I can't get in looks. Well, the thing is... You didn't tell us that. Yeah, I know. You're in the middle of Oz Fest. Fucking, the war down in New York. "Generals gathered in their masks, eh, shout out to the Dark Prince." Kid just sticking up his fingers.

• 16:38Speaker 00

  I feeling pretty bad, well, they see you walking with a baby, they go, "Oh, a baby." And then they get eyes on it, and they go, "What's a baby? That's, he's a little too young." Should be an old dog in there. I got the big fucking headphones on him.

• 16:54Speaker 00

  So I'm sitting there, I got him, you're getting looks, he's crying, luckily the- The broad with ya? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's me, Denise, my wife, um, and we, and the baby, we drove over, we met my cousin, his wife- Drove over? Uncle John and Aunt Patty. Okay. Drove over, you gotta drive, you can't walk, I'm not fucking walking the stroller over the bridge.

• 17:16H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  How the crabs get you.

• 17:18H. Foley?

  Uh. Pay that toll. Kebba, we gotta talk about Tushy.

• 17:21Speaker 00

  Ooh, that sweet, sweet Tushy.

• 17:23H. Foley?

  You like a clean butthole?

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Ah, no, I like a dirty butthole that itches.

• 17:28H. Foley?

  That's funny you mention that.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  (laughing).

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Guys, what are you doing? You wiping? Huh? What are you, a goddamn caveman?

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Bozo.

• 17:34H. Foley?

  Do yourself a favor, get over to Tushy, clean that butthole, it's caputs over there.

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 17:38H. Foley?

  We're talking about fresh, clean, dancing machine.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  (laughing) Dancing queen.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  Listen, everybody's on the bidet tip, if you want the best one out there, do yourself a favor, get a Tushy, clean butthole, feeling fresh, walking around, home run, closing with broads, making it happen.

• 17:57Speaker 00

  Sure, listen, we got a lot of bigger guys out there. I've been to the meet and greets, I've seen the shows. I've, listen, we're bigger guys, we're a bigger podcast, there ain't nothing wrong with it, but, ah, listen, as a bigger man myself with two pressed hams back there, if things get wacky, good folks at Tushy, were nice enough to send us.

• 18:14H. Foley?

  Especially this time of the year.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  That everyday, but, uh, luxury bidet feeling instantly transforms your bathroom habits into bottom li- bottom health for life. Uh, there's a bidet for every biohacking personality type, whether you want the Aura, uh, the, the Light Cloud Plus automatically deodorizes the air when you sit down and take a carry over there. Installation is simple and takes about 10 minutes to complete, literally, anyone can do it. The Tushy bidet gives you a two-in-one benefits, reducing irritation, preventing micro tears, and soothing water instead of scratchy toilet paper and damaging wet wipes. Every Hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and a 12, 12-month wa- 12-month warranty. Keep your swampiest body parts fresh and cool this time of year. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when they use our code GARBAGE at checkout. That's

• 19:00Speaker 00

  10% off your first bidet order at HelloTushy.com with the promo code GARBAGE. Do it.

• 19:04H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kebba, we're talking about Smalls, baby.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  What's Smalls?

• 19:07H. Foley?

  What's Smalls? Smalls cat food, of course, my good man.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  (laughing).

• 19:11H. Foley?

  Gang, if you don't know, Smalls cat food is a protein-packed recipe, it's made preservative-free ingredients you find in your fridge. How about that? Now, you see, not for dogs and stuff like that, now we're doing it with kitty cats, and Smalls is the best one.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Now, I got a question real quick, sorry to cut you off.

• 19:27H. Foley?

  No.

• 19:28Speaker 00

  Does, do you have to go to the store and buy that, or is that delivered right to your door?

• 19:31H. Foley?

  Delivered right to your door, plus got fridge shipping. Duh, Smalls.com/garbage for a limited time only.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 19:38H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this, though.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  What?

• 19:40H. Foley?

  Now, this isn't copy.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  What?

• 19:42H. Foley?

  Sent it over.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 19:43H. Foley?

  My cat, very, very, very particular.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  I heard you don't hate it.

• 19:49H. Foley?

  About what she eats.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 19:51H. Foley?

  Man. Like she hasn't eaten in six weeks.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  They know what they're doing.

• 19:55H. Foley?

  Scooping it up.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 19:57H. Foley?

  Loves it. Shout out to Smalls, honestly.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Smalls was started back in 2017 by a couple of guys, home cooking cat food in small batches for their friends. A few short years later, they've served millions of meals to cats across the US. Plus, Smalls works with Humane World for Animals. They donated over a million dollars worth of food to help cats through Humane World for Animals. And they've even given a chance, uh, given you, give you a chance to donate at checkout, whether it's $5 for flea tick medication or $7 for vaccines. They're fighting a good fight over there. Uh, what are you waiting for? Get your cat, uh, the food they deserve for a limited time only. Uh, if you are, because you're an RU Garbage listener, you can get 60%, holy crap, 60% off your first Smalls order, plus free shipping when you head to Smalls.com/garbage. That's 60% off when you head to Small, Smalls.com/garbage, plus free shipping. Again, one more time, Smalls.com/garbage. Do it.

• 20:44H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  So I'm sitting there, feeling pretty self-conscious at this point. People are looking.

• 20:49H. Foley?

  Really? What?

• 20:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was, we were, we were being judged. And that's my first time being judged as a parent.

• 20:55H. Foley?

  I think more for the loud music. It's not good for the baby's eardrums.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  We weren't in the mosh pit or anything.

• 21:00H. Foley?

  I know, but nobody else had a baby there?

• 21:04Speaker 00

  It's funny you bring that up.

• 21:05H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 21:06Speaker 00

  Next to us, another baby. Couldn't see how old she was. Oh, I gotta look, another baby.

• 21:14H. Foley?

  Was that baby only wearing a diaper?

• 21:16Speaker 00

  No.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  Cause when you see that, man, that is, there ain't nothing trashier than seeing a baby in just a diaper out in public.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 21:24H. Foley?

  I don't care how old the kid is.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  She's dragging a sippy cup or something. Yikes.

• 21:28H. Foley?

  With a dump in there? Tough.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  Uh, dude, it was just like the most Wildwood thing. I'm sitting there like not feeling good. I'm just like, ah, fuck, man. I'm getting judged for sure. But I'm like, fuck it. People are here. No one's, multiple generations of my family are like, this is okay. It's whatever. I'm here. I'm having a good time. Let my hair dye. Been in the house for fucking six weeks. Let me go get a fucking Bud Light.

• 21:47H. Foley?

  However, the nature versus nurture com, uh, discussion, you are with multiple, multiple generations of said dirtbags.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  A hundred percent.

• 21:57H. Foley?

  Salt of the earth people, don't, don't be wrong.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  There's other, there's like toddlers and stuff too.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Toddlers?

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  I mean, North, North Wildwood, people are gonna be drinking. You got kids. It's like, this is also daytime. It's not, it's a little more.

• 22:09H. Foley?

  It's a happy hour.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  Still light out. What time? Happy hour's 5 o'clock, no?

• 22:15H. Foley?

  5 to 7.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  Is 5 o'clock not daytime?

• 22:18H. Foley?

  Hmm, it's not lunchtime.

• 22:21Speaker 00

  I'll give you that one.

• 22:22H. Foley?

  You'll give me that one?

• 22:23Speaker 00

  No, I'll give him that one. 5 o'clock. In the summer? 5 o'clock in the winter. Man of the summer, too.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  5 o'clock in the winter in the middle of the night.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  I'd be doing gee balls.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  I go, "Oh, what's your baby's name? Oh, how old?" Zephyr.

• 22:39H. Foley?

  What?

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Anthony Kiedis.

• 22:43H. Foley?

  My daughter Flea?

• 22:46H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  She's like, "Oh, he..." She's 4 weeks. And I went, What the fuck? I don't have the youngest baby here. I felt like father of- 4 weeks? You fucking skank. I felt like father of the millennium. That baby still has its umbilical cord hanging off of it. And you're getting beers? That's crazy. Yeah, and I was like, "Whoa, man." Wildwood plays by its own rules. Ew. But I got- You're all still stitched up? Yeah. Fucking dirtball. Hey, he's, he does it. He's out there having a good time. He's relaxing. He's having a kid- 4 weeks? What do you know? Are you a doctor all of a sudden?

• 23:21H. Foley?

  I know to stay home.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  You don't know nothing.

• 23:23H. Foley?

  Nah, I don't.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Just judging this broad. Uh, yeah, but it was just like, uh, immediately-

• 23:29H. Foley?

  Was she solo? There's no husband there with her, right?

• 23:31Speaker 00

  No, there was a husband. There was a crew of them.

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  Listen, you gotta get out of the house at some point. You gotta get out.

• 23:36H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Daytime beers.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  I had a couple Bud Lights. I didn't drive home.

• 23:42H. Foley?

  Who did?

• 23:43Speaker 00

  What?

• 23:43H. Foley?

  Yeah. I was doing that math.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  My wife. She don't drink no more.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  When did you hit the food trucks? Cause there's no kitchen at this restaurant.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  I never said restaurant.

• 23:53H. Foley?

  Wait a minute, hold on. It was just a bar?

• 23:54Speaker 00

  I never said restaurant.

• 23:56H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 23:57Speaker 00

  That's crazy, dude.

• 23:57H. Foley?

  I thought there was some crab fries or something going around.

• 24:00Speaker 00

  Hold on, stop the- I never said restaurant. I said bar.

• 24:04H. Foley?

  Just a bar?

• 24:05Speaker 00

  I said bar.

• 24:06H. Foley?

  And by the way, my grandfather was doing it. This was 1981.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  They're waiting on their food handling permit.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  They just gotta get clearance. It's all pay to play.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  Really?

• 24:19Speaker 00

  There was a food truck in a parking lot. Quesadillas, we're out of this world.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  Shout out West Side Saloon, food truck. No, is that what it was? I don't know. My wife went over and did the order and I was ordering beers. Hmm. So, we get there, he's crying a little bit, didn't like the song choice I gave. I liked the newer stuff.

• 24:41H. Foley?

  Little Mr. Bryce side quiet him up real quick.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  He got upset about the "Another Original", uh, "Play the Hits", so I'm outside walking him, you know, just trying to get him to pass out. It's tough with all the loud music and hooting and hollering going on. Took him to the Double Deuce. Chicken wire and glasses flying. Shout out to Lazy Bass, classy establishment. Um, I'm outside pushing him, right? He's screaming, I'm trying to get the pacifier in his mouth and push at the same time. You gotta hit the right amount of fucking cobblestone to get him some bumps or you can fucking shake his little brain to sleep. And man, like fucking clockwork, this pickup, just like Chevy Silverado, beat up, no hubcaps, comes driving by some dude hanging out the passenger side.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Went there, he goes, "You are you garbage?" I was like, "Well, yeah, how you doing that?" It was all-

• 25:33H. Foley?

  We're at the church next door!

• 25:35Speaker 00

  It was, uh, it was, uh, it was my first, like, real dirtbag thing of like, um, this kid's just gonna live in my footsteps and I'm okay with that. I took him up on a boardwalk, we hit another bar.

• 25:48H. Foley?

  That's okay.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  "How you doing?" That's Seaport Pier, that's a restaurant. That big one.

• 25:53H. Foley?

  That big one, yeah.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  That was during the day too.

• 25:55H. Foley?

  Did you get something to eat?

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:56H. Foley?

  What'd you get?

• 25:57Speaker 00

  What?

• 25:59H. Foley?

  I was in margarita.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  It was a liquid lunch.

• 26:03H. Foley?

  Nah, that's alright.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  I didn't do a beer, I didn't do a beer, we just went out for lunch, get out of house.

• 26:06H. Foley?

  Listen, he's gonna be, he's gonna do a nice school, he's gonna be in good school, he's gonna have a good network, a little bit of cash, he'll be alright.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  He's gonna be a pipe fitter, I think.

• 26:13H. Foley?

  You think so?

• 26:14Speaker 00

  I think that, yeah.

• 26:15H. Foley?

  Nothing wrong with that. Good Bennys, fucking in the union, hardworking kid.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Local 420, if someone vouched for him, you know what I mean? Work for the family.

• 26:23H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Started his own business, something like that.

• 26:26H. Foley?

  There you go. Either way, he's gonna be alright. I wouldn't, I wouldn't judge yourself too harshly on that. Four weeks, dude?

• 26:32Speaker 00

  I mean, I-

• 26:32H. Foley?

  Four weeks?

• 26:33Speaker 00

  We had him beat by two weeks. That's not, it's not like I-

• 26:36H. Foley?

  Your baby's only six weeks old?

• 26:37Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 26:38H. Foley?

  No, it's not.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  Six weeks?

• 26:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:42H. Foley?

  I feel like I've known this kid fucking eight months. Six weeks, that's it?

• 26:46Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Oh man.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  Not the youngest baby at the bar slash futra.

• 26:50H. Foley?

  That's bad news.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  What?

• 26:51H. Foley?

  I thought he was a couple of months.

• 26:53Speaker 00

  I mean, what do you mean?

• 26:54H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  You have all the same information I have. We talking to each other every day.

• 26:59H. Foley?

  It's so weird.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  I thought he was a couple of months.

• 27:01H. Foley?

  June seems so far away.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Ah, this guy in the seasons. I freaking can't.

• 27:05H. Foley?

  It does. It just seems so far away to me.

• 27:09H. Foley?

  Man.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 27:11H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 27:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. Felt good to get him down to North Wildwood and into the, just.

• 27:17H. Foley?

  Get the salt air in his lungs.

• 27:18Speaker 00

  Just get him, get him into, because this is the first time I'm going like, oh, this is, this was all of my dirtbag experiences was.

• 27:25H. Foley?

  Did you throw him in the bay or anything like that? Just to, you know, you ever see that when they try to teach the kids to swim now and just throw them in the water?

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  It's fucked up. The kiddo gets up there though. Freaking.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. My legs can't kick though.

• 27:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Um, alright, all that's neither here nor there. My, my shortcomings as a parent, it is what it is. We got a Gosh darn Family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you join the old Patreon.

• 27:47H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Uh, you can ask your garbage question and we got one, two, three hum dangers here. Speaking of the summer, speaking of swimming, this is from Ryan.

• 27:56H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  $10 consultant here, never had one read. You's ever had to stand on your dad's back to keep him underwater long enough to patch a hole in the pool? He would float up to the top of the water unless I stood on him. And he would tap me when he needed to come up from air. I'd catch a ration of shit if I didn't get him the exact second he tapped me.

• 28:15H. Foley?

  Listen. The fuck you doing?

• 28:18Speaker 00

  The hell, I've been tapping you for a minute.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  Man.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  That's also, that dad's redlining it too much. Give yourself 10 seconds or five seconds of it, you know? Man, that's great.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  We had to do, we did that a lot. There was a crack, I remember us going down and trying to do something with the, we were like pulling the pieces out of a crack in a pool for like. We were kids.

• 28:38H. Foley?

  Who had the pool? Your dad?

• 28:40Speaker 00

  My dad had. My dad got one.

• 28:41H. Foley?

  In a house he rented? Or a house he owned?

• 28:44Speaker 00

  No, a house he, when he finally bought.

• 28:46H. Foley?

  Really?

• 28:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, things were, things were going well and they, this like aqua pool, somebody was coming around and putting them in every, they must've had this financing thing where it was like zero down, 10 bucks a month. Money was cheap, the, you know, the green span or whatever, lowered or hired the interest rates. And these people were just going door to door going, "Hey, we're, we're putting a pool in the neighbors, putting a pool in the neighbors." This is probably mid 90s?

• 29:11H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  Clinton, dot com bubble, I don't know, something. Something. Cash was fucking, and, uh, he got a, we had, it was the most basic. Like, we got like the fucking, the, you know, the basic package. There was no glitz or glam on this and it was like...

• 29:30H. Foley?

  Stick shift pool?

• 29:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, it stood out so, it was just like very...

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Looked like something in the south, you know what I mean? Like something like, it was just like...

• 29:41H. Foley?

  Diving board?

• 29:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:43H. Foley?

  No give to that though.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  Nah, like walking the plank.

• 29:48H. Foley?

  Did it have that slide?

• 29:49Speaker 00

  What?

• 29:49H. Foley?

  No?

• 29:50Speaker 00

  No.

• 29:50H. Foley?

  That slide was kinda whack. The blue one, the light blue one, they're like kinda just went around like that. You caught that thing on a hot day, it wasn't watered down.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Fucking, open up, open up your nutsack.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  It's like getting dragged down the fucking interstate, dude. Bad news.

• 30:06Speaker 00

  Was that fat guy that tried it last year?

• 30:09H. Foley?

  And broke the whole thing?

• 30:10Speaker 00

  He goes down in the middle of it?

• 30:11H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this, alright?

• 30:14Speaker 00

  What?

• 30:15H. Foley?

  Your dad going under the water to patch the thing, all that kinda stuff? That's rich guy shit. You know what kinda panic sets in? Or, or the, the constant worry of ripping the liner on an above-ground pool all summer? That ain't dive down and fix it, that's, we're draining the whole fucking thing. We gotta get rid of it, we gotta fucking fill it back up. Which, if it's close enough to the end of the year, that ain't getting filled back up. Cause that water bill's gonna jam you up.

• 30:47Speaker 00

  Not rolling in a fall.

• 30:49H. Foley?

  Rolling in a fall, yeah. Many a summer has been cut short. By a dog's fingernail, fucking catching the fucking bottom of the pool.

• 30:59Speaker 00

  One of the houses my dad rented when he moved out, I was always like nuts to me renting a house. I didn't know you could rent a house, like a house, like a single, like a home. They were always like fucking, they always felt like stash houses, something like Tony Soprano would be laying on the floor in with a fucking AK-47, no furniture. But this one had a pool and we weren't allowed to open it in the summer. I don't know if he didn't want to, I didn't think we were allowed, man, and this thing was tad pool city. Man, just sit in water for fucking months in the summer, algae growing, it was fucking brutal, remember?

• 31:35H. Foley?

  Your hot ass just sitting there looking at it?

• 31:37Speaker 00

  I mean, they're fishing and shit, it was fucking, it was grotty, it was tough. Oh, goddamn.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  Great question.

• 31:44Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. Um, alright, let's see, this one's from Mark, uh, is it garbage to pay a kid at AutoZone 20 bucks to turn off all the warning lights on your dashboard minutes before trading in your car? Holy shit.

• 31:56H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  I signed the offer from the dealership and practically ran out the door, my dad was outside walking around the lot, I said to him, we need to leave now. Car needed more work than it was worth, your problem now, buddy. That's a pro move.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  That's pretty good.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Reset them all.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Uh-huh, cuz I don't know how the...

• 32:17H. Foley?

  It's all computer bullshit. You turn that shit off in two seconds.

• 32:21Speaker 00

  But I would assume they can plug it in and actually get like...

• 32:23H. Foley?

  They're not doing that.

• 32:24Speaker 00

  I think they do, you should, I mean, what business isn't...

• 32:28H. Foley?

  They just want the car, they probably don't care about most of that shit too.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  They know they can buy enough, they know if they're buying a hundred Mazdas. 10 are gonna be bad, 10 are gonna be bad, like, it's a numbers game, they gotta buy more of, like...

• 32:42H. Foley?

  I remember when I turned in my car last time...

• 32:43Speaker 00

  They're not just buying three cars and hoping they make a thousand dollars on each car, they're just going, buy a bunch.

• 32:47H. Foley?

  When I turned my car in the last time, not most recently, but dude, I had been ripping heaters in there, heavy, heavy heaters. Like astronaut in a diaper heaters, like, I would rip in heaters in this thing. Fucking couple scratches, a couple of this, couple dings, they didn't give a fuck.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't care.

• 33:05H. Foley?

  We don't worry, don't worry about it. Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 00

  That was when I traded in my Montego. I think I gave it to-

• 33:11H. Foley?

  Traded it in?

• 33:13Speaker 00

  This guy had scrap for it.

• 33:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  I think, uh- I'm trying to think of who the hell got that. Where the hell did- oh, I gave it to Kia when I got the Kia.

• 33:23H. Foley?

  A fucking car crusher got that as its lunch.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 33:27H. Foley?

  There's no way that thing is still out there.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  Fucking Isuses in here driving around. They're over in the fucking-

• 33:35Speaker 00

  They're over in Kuwait fucking bumping my 50 cent mix CD that they found in the backseat.

• 33:40H. Foley?

  Get the top of that ripped off like the A-team?

• 33:43Speaker 00

  Fucking gun bolted to the top.

• 33:47H. Foley?

  That'd be kinda sick, wouldn't it?

• 33:48Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 33:49H. Foley?

  You saw that on the news. Fucking stinger missile just rips right through it. There she goes.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  This is pretty crazy, though. The, the lights, the big boy lights, like brake issues or serious engine, uh, diagnostics, won't have, come back on unless you reset the light again. So you're buying yourself time until they reset it.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  But the basic lights will come back on just by turning off the car, turning it back on.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  Like, uh, windshield, whatever, the low fluid-

• 34:16H. Foley?

  Windshield upper fluid, fuck 'em.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, they go out, it's 10 bucks.

• 34:18H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  Well, with that, like, Carvana, and I know Carvana isn't a great thing, but they go like, hey, we'll give you X for your car. Relatively sight unseen, I think they come and give it a quick inspection of like, okay, it does have all four tires and there's no major body damage, there doesn't appear to be watered out, like, they- There's probably a checklist of stuff they check, and then they adjust it, I think, by like- They're like, hey, we'll give you 15,000 for it, then they might show up and go, ah, it's 1310 or whatever.

• 34:42H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  But they give you that, like, that's pretty much guaranteed. I think that's like higher finance type shit where they're going like, we have a bunch of money, let's buy, like, buy stuff and, you know, try to-

• 34:53H. Foley?

  They don't care the real, the real condition of it, they're buying volume.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  Yes. Well said, Bugman. You'd do, you'd run a hell of a fucking mall kiosk.

• 35:01H. Foley?

  You think so?

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Maybe we sell cars.

• 35:03H. Foley?

  Sell cars at a hall- at a mall kiosk? You gotta have a license to sell cars.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  Do you?

• 35:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  I'm sure we can find a car lot to work for the weekend.

• 35:12H. Foley?

  Nah, I wanna work at the, in the, in the, in the mall. I was gonna say, we should do the Shamany Mall, Christmas time.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  That's a bad mall anymore.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  No, it's not. We should stay here at Christmas.

• 35:22Speaker 00

  I go to that mall all the time, not a good mall.

• 35:24H. Foley?

  You think so? I think it's the best mall in the area.

• 35:27Speaker 00

  You've never been to the Shamany Mall?

• 35:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  You're wrong.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  Montgomeryville Mall stinks.

• 35:33Speaker 00

  The Shamany Mall is bad.

• 35:34H. Foley?

  Plymouth Meeting Mall stinks. I'm not going to the King of Prussia like a fucking asshole, I don't got fucking-

• 35:38Speaker 00

  You know what's not too bad?

• 35:39H. Foley?

  Your money. Willow Grove.

• 35:41Speaker 00

  Willow Grove.

• 35:42H. Foley?

  Maybe that's where we were.

• 35:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, you weren't at the Shamany, you were not at the Shamany Mall. The Shamany is like, dead, thumbs out.

• 35:49H. Foley?

  Big guy was at Willow Grove. Alright, we'll go to Willow Grove Mall.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  What do you got?

• 35:54Speaker 02

  Dealers do need a license, but I don't, I think that's just for the dealership.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  Dealership.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  If we could get like one of those like trailers, corner lots, see how, see how we can sell cars. That'd be pretty good.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  Be fun. Get lunch together and shit.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  It's just us eating. Shoot content.

• 36:15H. Foley?

  If we work at, if we work at Willow Grove, we could go to the Terminal Luncheonette, which I still think it's there. See, the Terminal Luncheonette and Hapar Horsham is still there. My dad used to love this place.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:24H. Foley?

  Home fries are unbelievable.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 36:27H. Foley?

  Just saying, we could have a cup of coffee or something.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Still banging.

• 36:30H. Foley?

  Still banging.

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:31H. Foley?

  Shout out to it.

• 36:32Speaker 00

  It's no lazy bass, but I'll take a look at it.

• 36:35H. Foley?

  There's no Megadeth playing.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  Kev, we gotta tell them about ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN. We gotta warn them about ExpressVPN.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  We're putting it out there. Get on ExpressVPN. You know what these other companies are doing? They're starting to sell your information.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  Everyone's selling it.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Selling your information, selling your data, letting them know your likes, what you don't like, what you're into, what you're not into. That's no bueno. When you operate with ExpressVPN.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Oh, that's blocked. Let's get, they're, they're, listen, I'm not a tech guy, you don't-

• 37:05H. Foley?

  You're a ghost, baby.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  You don't tune in for our tech knowledge.

• 37:08H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 37:08Speaker 00

  But, these, there's people out there on the internet trying to screw you. ExpressVPN is trying to stop them from screwing you. Not even trying, they're doing it, baby.

• 37:16H. Foley?

  Succeeding.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Listen, I've used it before. I've been in certain territories where certain websites aren't-

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Allowed.

• 37:23Speaker 00

  They, they want you-

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Frowned upon.

• 37:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're frowned upon. They want your, your name, your ma-

• 37:27H. Foley?

  Not illegal.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  Not illegal.

• 37:30Speaker 00

  And listen, you log in or you go boop, boop, boop, ExpressVPN over there bada bing bada boom. How you doing? You're out the door. Two, three minutes, no big deal. And here's the turkey, gang. Protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com/garbage. That's expressvpn.com/garbage. E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com/garbage. And you can get an extra four months for free. That ain't nothing to shake a stick at. I'm talking an extra four months for free. One more time, let them know the boy's sending you expressvpn.com/garbage. Now, back to the show.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  Are you garbage if you're in the grocery store with the cig fully lit shopping in the produce section? What? I looked over and this man had a full lit cig grabbing lettuce. Gotta love it.

• 38:43Speaker 00

  That's mental illness. That guy don't know where he's at or something. You can't be catching a heater. And it's not even like, oh, you used to be able to smoke. Like, they changed the rule, like in a bar or something. You could be like, at least.

• 38:54H. Foley?

  It's funny, I'm 49. I don't ever remember that.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  What? Smoking it? No.

• 38:58H. Foley?

  In the grocery store.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  No. Never.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  But it had to be somewhere.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  Sure, I mean, probably in the 70s?

• 39:07H. Foley?

  I'm trying to think if I ever remember my mom putting out a cigarette in a department store.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  No, most of that stuff you probably couldn't smoke in. Well, yeah, find out when you can stop smoking in like...

• 39:18Speaker 02

  In New York City, it was banned in 1974.

• 39:21H. Foley?

  Smoking in department stores.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  In like grocery stores and stuff like that.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  I remember the Leo Mall on Street Road you could catch a heater in. In the common space, not in the...

• 39:31H. Foley?

  Excuse me.

• 39:31Speaker 00

  Because we were like 13 or 14.

• 39:33H. Foley?

  The mall's different. I remember smoking.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Like, you could sit in the bench at the mall and catch a heater.

• 39:36H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, I remember that for sure.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  I don't, I mean, I don't remember the other malls doing that. I'm gonna do it when we have our kiosk. I'm gonna sell heaters.

• 39:45H. Foley?

  I feel like I remember smoking in the mall as a teenager.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  Maybe. Bad kid like you. No future. Bad attitude.

• 39:53Speaker 00

  Sure, I could see that.

• 39:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, unless I'm wrong.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  Uh huh. Uh...

• 39:58H. Foley?

  I just can see it on the, you know that mall floor? Whatever that is, linoleum or whatever that is, I can just see a cigarette butt smooshed out. I don't know why.

• 40:07Speaker 00

  That's wild, just smoking everywhere. That was crazy.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  Heaters.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Heaterville dude.

• 40:12H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:12Speaker 00

  Uh, speaking of heaters, this is from Hugh Wang, uh... Ever seen someone eat a cig? My uncle would do this to amuse kids at parties. He also carried a flask of body temperature blackberry brandy, laughed like Tommy Pope and was married at a VFW and chewed on perks like candy. Rest in peace Uncle Jeff.

• 40:30H. Foley?

  Had that to him.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 40:32H. Foley?

  Blackberry brandy is a sign of the...

• 40:33Speaker 00

  That is... I had one summer of that. All the bartenders...

• 40:37H. Foley?

  Everybody did.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  In Wildwood. That's their like, you go, if you're, if you work at King's and you're going to the Wharf, they all, they all drink blackberry. It's like they're like calling card. Like, "I'll do three blackberry before..." I don't know if they still do, but at the time, I was rolling around with my boy Tommy, who was a, you know, mover and shaker in the, in the, in the service industry down there. That was all blackberry brandy.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  I don't know why.

• 41:00Speaker 00

  Man, it would make me puke. Every fucking night, I'd be puking. Shout out to Echo, shout out to Flu, I'd be yakking.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  They'd cool him down, they'd do, do shots with him.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  They weren't cool.

• 41:10H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 41:10Speaker 00

  He was right off the rail, baby. Room temperature.

• 41:13H. Foley?

  They would make, they would put him in the shaker and...

• 41:15Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 41:16H. Foley?

  It was called something, there was a name for it.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  Brandy!

• 41:19H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  She's a fang! Uh, not that I know of. They have a Chicken Hill bottle, that seems kinda big.

• 41:25H. Foley?

  Well... This was that like, main brand that like is always the mixers and shit like that.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  Seagram's or whatever. Jackwins. Jackwins Blackberry Brandy, I think, was...

• 41:35H. Foley?

  Oh, that might be it. Jackwins. Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 00

  That, that dirty bitch will get you. Woo wee! It's just...

• 41:42H. Foley?

  Some of that sour mixing me. As a youngster. It'd give me the diarrhea.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  Um, that's this, uh, okay, let's see. Um, this one, uh, Finch Dickles, uh, "Brand new thirteen dollar seventy Canadian milk with dinner representative homie here."

• 42:01H. Foley?

  What's up, you hoser?

• 42:02Speaker 00

  (laughing) Uh, "Never had one red. Is it garbage if the lunch you had at school every day growing up was a peanut butter and lettuce sandwich?" Yeah, listen, you're a man of, uh, certain stuff.

• 42:17H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 42:19Speaker 00

  I love a peanut butter, I ate, I've, I would probably document, I've eaten more peanut butter sandwiches, straight peanut butter than any man or women or child ever. That's not even close, it was every day for a long time, a lot of years.

• 42:33H. Foley?

  There was a minute.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Lettuce?

• 42:35H. Foley?

  No.

• 42:37Speaker 00

  What's, I guess, maybe, I can picture like a big, nice, but it's not gonna last till school, like a real crunchy piece of iceberg, just for the crunch, a little bit of texture, I don't like it, I'm just saying.

• 42:46H. Foley?

  There was a minute, and I mean a minute.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 42:49H. Foley?

  It might have been something that I saw on Family Ties or something like that. Maybe Skippy, the kid that lived next door to the Keatons, was eating this for a while or something like that. Or maybe at Different Strokes? Where I was fucking with peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  I mean peanut butter and pickles is a pretty big thing, right? Or is that for pregnant?

• 43:11H. Foley?

  For pregnant.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  But still, ants on a log, kind of, with the celery and the peanut butter.

• 43:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, that, I, that's in the world, it's in the world.

• 43:18H. Foley?

  It is in the world a little bit.

• 43:19Speaker 00

  I understand that.

• 43:20H. Foley?

  But when you talk about pickles, I used to love a peanut butter and jelly with, uh, chips and pickles.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 43:26H. Foley?

  And a glass of milk.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't hate on that.

• 43:28H. Foley?

  Big.

• 43:29Speaker 00

  I don't hate on that, um...

• 43:31H. Foley?

  I haven't had a PB and J in a while. Probably years, couple of years, maybe a year, six months, not a year.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Long.

• 43:43H. Foley?

  When's the last time you had peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

• 43:44Speaker 00

  I don't like jelly, I've been, I've just straight peanut butter.

• 43:46H. Foley?

  When's the last time you had peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Always within a year.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:49H. Foley?

  Oh yeah.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  I love, yeah.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  At the Nisa's.

• 43:52H. Foley?

  You go to your parents and you get one?

• 43:53Speaker 02

  I got, I always keep the materials on me.

• 43:56Speaker 00

  Really? What are you, building a bomb? Who calls the materials?

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Materials.

• 43:59H. Foley?

  Wait, you have bread in your house, just like a loaf of bread?

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, in the freezer, so you gotta...

• 44:03H. Foley?

  Really?

• 44:04Speaker 00

  That ruins a sandwich.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  I know.

• 44:06Speaker 00

  That fucking sucks.

• 44:08H. Foley?

  Wait, you, you have to toast it?

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then...

• 44:11Speaker 00

  That's not, that's not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

• 44:14H. Foley?

  You have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, toast it?

• 44:15Speaker 02

  No, but I'll do it, I'll get it somewhat okay, or I'll just go out and buy a new loaf. That's what I'll normally do, but if you get it close enough in the toaster...

• 44:24Speaker 00

  This kid stinks.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  If you just get the defrost off of it and let it sit for a little bit, it's not as good.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  When's we get a crustable?

• 44:31Speaker 00

  The good thing about...

• 44:31H. Foley?

  You have bread in your house, just a loaf of bread?

• 44:34Speaker 00

  I can't keep it.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  It's weird.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Well, the Dave's I always keep.

• 44:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, he keeps like the fancy seeded bread.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:41H. Foley?

  It's so adult to me to have bread.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  No, that's when you have ki- you gotta have kids to have bread.

• 44:46H. Foley?

  You don't have kids.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  I know. Hey, relax. Whose side are you on here?

• 44:49H. Foley?

  Do you have bread?

• 44:50Speaker 00

  I've had a kid for six weeks and we've been at the bar most of the time. No, I don't have fucking bread. Okay, he can't eat bread.

• 44:56H. Foley?

  Think it'll be a wonder family?

• 44:58Speaker 00

  No, the white bread's tough with the German.

• 45:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, your wife goes, your wife's not gonna go for that.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  She's good fucking German broat, you know what I mean? You need fucking that good. She can get by with a sourdough she likes.

• 45:11H. Foley?

  That's not bad.

• 45:15Speaker 00

  It's an insane look you gave me.

• 45:19H. Foley?

  That's not, for a peanut butter and jelly sourdough's not bad.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  Nah, it's too, I listen.

• 45:23H. Foley?

  Do you remember the first time you had sourdough bread as a kid? Dude, it was.

• 45:27Speaker 00

  I thought there was beer in there. I didn't know what the hell was shit. Talk about a chew.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  My dad, I was with dad one morning, I was like, what the fuck is this shit?

• 45:39Speaker 00

  You know what I used to, I felt, it's kinda funny.

• 45:40H. Foley?

  Hey Pop, take it easy with the yeast, will ya?

• 45:43Speaker 00

  Yes, hey, talk, get some Vagisil on this bad boy. I got, I got a date coming up, hitting me with this fucking.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  Where'd you pull this floozy out of?

• 45:56H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Put a set of rubbers on my hand to eat this thing.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, I didn't like that shit at all.

• 46:05Speaker 00

  Now you learn to like it. That and a Portuguese roll. My dad was big on a Portuguese roll. You know Portuguese? Woo, man, you must, I must have thought I was in the Mediterranean. He go, let me get two Portuguese rolls. I said, when we get home, I'mma lather up some fucking Skippy and put it on that bad boy.

• 46:25H. Foley?

  Put that in my American stomach.

• 46:27Speaker 00

  Chew it with my goddamn rotten American teeth and drink some goddamn Coca-Cola.

• 46:32H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  I don't know what makes, can you find out what makes a Portuguese roll Portuguese?

• 46:36H. Foley?

  From Portugal.

• 46:38Speaker 00

  No, I get the idea of it's from Portugal. The rolls aren't from Portugal.

• 46:41H. Foley?

  Sweet.

• 46:43Speaker 00

  But man, whatever.

• 46:44H. Foley?

  These process.

• 46:45Speaker 00

  Whatever that was, was fucking, I saw, I saw a Portuguese roll truck today, made me think of that.

• 46:51H. Foley?

  Got a little mustache on the front.

• 46:53Speaker 00

  Arm bit hair. If no bu- if full bush.

• 47:00H. Foley?

  We kid.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Dig with the Portuguese, there's like a surplus of egg yolk or something that's kind of doing some different ingredient thing there for the bread.

• 47:09H. Foley?

  Lame answer.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. What do I got?

• 47:11Speaker 00

  Well, I look like fucking Johnny fucking Bread over here.

• 47:14H. Foley?

  A surplus of egg? I mean, there's a lot of egg yolk in it.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, surplus, that's what Google says. Enriched with the surplus egg yolks left over from wine clarification.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  Ah, that makes sense.

• 47:25H. Foley?

  What the fuck? They're using egg yolks for wines?

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Buddy.

• 47:29H. Foley?

  I sound like a real scumbag.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  The heck they're using?

• 47:33H. Foley?

  My tooth should have fell out when I was saying that.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  Fucking hillbilly, shut up. The hell do you know about bread or wine?

• 47:40H. Foley?

  Nuttin'.

• 47:43Speaker 00

  Uh, this one's from Oscar's Trashcan. 187 peso homie here, never have one read. I assume that's the Mexican peso?

• 47:52H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  Find out what the transition to US dollars to pesos is.

• 47:57H. Foley?

  You think he's from Mexico?

• 47:59Speaker 00

  I don't know, he's Oscar?

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Eighteen, about nineteen pesos per dollar.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  That makes sense. So he's a ten dollar homie.

• 48:06H. Foley?

  Shout out to him.

• 48:06Speaker 00

  Hundred and eighty-seven pesos.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  My man, hola. Como esta mi amigo? Donde la coca?

• 48:12Speaker 00

  Donde esta el pan?

• 48:17Speaker 00

  Uh, como se dice, sweaty Betty. Uh, is it garbage to ask the beer guys at the concert venue what time is last call? I'm trying to time out my beers to have some left by the time Masters of Puppets comes on. Shout out to Metallica. I respect that.

• 48:33H. Foley?

  I respect it too.

• 48:34Speaker 00

  As it, listen.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  Cause that shit sneaks up on you. What?

• 48:38Speaker 00

  And we've become a very, uh, I've become a very like, you just drink. Yeah, we live, we live in New York, last call's foray. I can just drink. If we're at the house, there's enough beers. If we're at a party, there's, there's, we're in a green room, there's just always beers, right? We can, there's, we're very rarely in a place with constricted rules of when and how I can drink.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  Very true.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  Uh, except a place like that. So you gotta, you wanna fucking, you wanna buy two or three so you have them for the rest of the fucking day.

• 49:08H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? So that I totally get.

• 49:10H. Foley?

  What you doing at Phillies game or something like that?

• 49:11Speaker 00

  Hey, yeah, oh, let's get two. I got two, we got three. You get your two and I'll drink one, he can have one, even if they're not drinking. You gotta really, that beer math means a lot.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  I totally respect that.

• 49:22H. Foley?

  Respect that move.

• 49:25Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 49:25H. Foley?

  They cut you off earlier and earlier these days.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  And then you're not, you're not expecting it. You're vibing, you got half a, half a load on and then you know, you're, you're, but you know, you're bobbing your head to fucking, uh...

• 49:35H. Foley?

  Goes back to the beginning. Everything's always closed. Everything's closed early.

• 49:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:39H. Foley?

  Closing that early, everybody closed, closed, everybody closed.

• 49:41Speaker 00

  Lazy Bass, 10 o'clock. Believe that?

• 49:44H. Foley?

  That is lazy.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  It's good. Bug Man back. Uh, alright, this one's from Brandon Box. Hundred and twenty dollar per year, invest. I love how they're, they're changing. They're adapting, they're, that's all, they're bragging. I had to do a hundred and twenty a year.

• 50:04H. Foley?

  No big deal.

• 50:04Speaker 00

  Um, when is the last time you washed your bath mat that's in front of your shower?

• 50:11Speaker 00

  Is it garbage if you can't remember? I don't think I've ever done that. I just get a new one. I go, this one's groved, gotta go, and order a new one on Amazon.

• 50:20Speaker 00

  What?

• 50:22H. Foley?

  Saying great. Um, we wash ours pretty regularly.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  Uh huh. I don't, they're, they're never like textured to wash to me. I remember Denise used to wash them, maybe wet.

• 50:34H. Foley?

  I get it, I, I get it wet a lot.

• 50:36Speaker 00

  I can imagine.

• 50:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  You're displacing a lot of water.

• 50:38H. Foley?

  I also do a move with it that I probably shouldn't tell people publicly.

• 50:43Speaker 00

  Sop up pee.

• 50:44H. Foley?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 50:47H. Foley?

  Real quick and then push it back over.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  You're doing that with your feet. You're not bending over.

• 50:52H. Foley?

  No, I'm doing my foot.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll take my foot, I'll drag it over, I'll fucking mop that up.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  We got that, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:57H. Foley?

  Push it back over.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 50:58H. Foley?

  And then eventually, that'll be a shorter lifespan, cause she'll be like, why is this smell?

• 51:04Speaker 00

  I love how you're giving her an attitude and you're sopping up your urine.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  I'm not giving her an attitude, I was giving her a voice.

• 51:09Speaker 00

  That wasn't a, that wasn't a, hey, do you not have any idea why the bathroom smells?

• 51:13H. Foley?

  Uh.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  Are you using the cloth that we get out of the shower when we're clean and put our feet on to sop up?

• 51:19H. Foley?

  I usually have a little pee butt there.

• 51:20Speaker 00

  To sop up your Mountain Dew pee?

• 51:23H. Foley?

  I don't drink that.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  Root beer pee?

• 51:25H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, I just had a, I just got rid of one. That, I don't pay attention, that stuff that like, I only think about when I'm standing on it and I go, "Oh yeah, this is bad, you gotta..." But they have the ones that are like more like towel, that, like terry cloth or something, I don't like that.

• 51:44H. Foley?

  You're talking about the one, I've said this to you before, you're talking about the one in the hotels?

• 51:48Speaker 00

  No, that makes sense, because they're cleaning those every day, and who knows what you're doing, know them?

• 51:54H. Foley?

  Right? I barely use them, because every time I put it on the ground, it always gets fucked up. Which I've pitched my idea to you about that, right?

• 52:02Speaker 00

  The Velcro or something.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  Somebody should come up with some type of adhesive.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  Sell these at the, we can sell these at the, come up?

• 52:08H. Foley?

  Some type of adhesive on the bottom of them.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  Have diesel.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  When you wash it, it, it, it, okay, okay, let me, let me try to explain this. You know like the, the throwy hands? The sticky hand?

• 52:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:20H. Foley?

  Well, when you wash that with, when you wash that with soap and water, it gets more, it gets sticky again, it brings it back. There should be some type of adhesive on the bottom of those things, that when you put it down, it lays down nice, that you should be able to reuse. I've been telling everybody this. Nobody wants to take up the idea. Talk to your dad.

• 52:43H. Foley?

  We make fucking billions of dollars.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  Billions?

• 52:45H. Foley?

  What are you, we get every hotel to do it. That's everybody's biggest pet peeve about the fucking hotel.

• 52:50Speaker 00

  You're the only person I've ever heard complain about.

• 52:52H. Foley?

  Those things suck.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  I'm not saying.

• 52:54H. Foley?

  They're not big enough, and they always get bunched up. I always have to put a regular towel down, so it's nice and cozy when I get out of the shower in there.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  This is like a...

• 53:04H. Foley?

  It's not a size thing, it's a comfort thing.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  I didn't say that, I did not say that.

• 53:08H. Foley?

  It's not a comfort thing.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 53:12H. Foley?

  I'll do it, I'll take it on a shark.

• 53:13Speaker 00

  I think it's an operator error thing. If I had to guess, knowing you.

• 53:17H. Foley?

  Those things never fall perfect.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  I don't think you're really fucking, well, I've never had an issue, I don't, this, I'm not saying you don't have it.

• 53:23H. Foley?

  Yours always lands nice, like a doormat.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, and if it doesn't, you just, I've never thought of it. It's never been a thing where I'm gonna go, "Gosh darn it, again, I gotta lay the mattress down here to feel comfortable?" Lose the security deposit.

• 53:38H. Foley?

  Rip the curtains off the wall.

• 53:46H. Foley?

  Anyway, back to the original question. We do wash it. We do wash it a lot, but I get what you're saying.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  I one time I rented a place and we and my boy, we got a black one at like Bed Bath and Beyond or something. Never washed it. Like it was a cheapo.

• 54:04H. Foley?

  Was it a little fuzzy on top? Had the plastic underneath? Like the rubber?

• 54:08Speaker 00

  It had the rubber underneath it, maybe.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  That's when you know you're in a lot of trouble.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, and it had kind of like the little dreadlocks. You know what I mean? They were a little longer. Could have taken a little more off the top. Shag, yeah, shag.

• 54:18H. Foley?

  That's.

• 54:18Speaker 00

  And we got black and we thought it was cool.

• 54:21H. Foley?

  That is what they call the perfect storm for mold.

• 54:24Speaker 00

  We had a, we had a, it was black and we had like that old eighties yellow linoleum floor in the bathroom of the apartment we were renting. And we put that down.

• 54:38H. Foley?

  Steelers bathroom?

• 54:41Speaker 00

  We put that down the day we moved in and I picked it up the day we moved out. And the dye had all the water from standing on it, being wet, standing on it, being wet, had seeped through and stained black the linoleum. And that's one of those you lift up and this is us. I'm doing a once over. My boy already bounced. He was out.

• 55:05H. Foley?

  I thought you were gonna say that the civilization that formed underneath.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  No.

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Had already achieved space travel and I was quickly attacked by.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  This was, this is a worse, that you can clean. Spray it out with a little Windex, a little pledge, something. Fuck it, I'll nuke that. They won't even know what hit them.

• 55:25H. Foley?

  Father, no.

• 55:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'll torch that. I'll, you know, CLR them the fucking bits and pieces.

• 55:33H. Foley?

  CLR. I didn't know what that was.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  Fluorine lime and rust.

• 55:38H. Foley?

  Man, anything with that lime in it.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  I never understood.

• 55:41H. Foley?

  That shit was dangerous.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  I'm like, that's what they're putting in the drinks? I didn't understand that at all.

• 55:44H. Foley?

  Yeah, that one, what they put on bodies. What's the difference in lime and lime?

• 55:48Speaker 00

  Lye.

• 55:49H. Foley?

  No, it's called lime.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  I think it's lye.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Calcium lime and rust remover, C L R.

• 55:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. What's the, what's the stuff they like delouse you with or whatever? When you go to jail, they throw it?

• 55:57H. Foley?

  No, that's lye.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, what are you talking?

• 55:59H. Foley?

  Then the stuff they put on the bodies. When you, you know, put lime on dead bodies.

• 56:04Speaker 00

  Oh, maybe it's, I don't know. See if, uh, Luke's gonna get arrested. That's on my computer. Great. How to dissolve a dead body.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Lime.

• 56:14H. Foley?

  Lime.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  Like, what are you, what kind? What are you buying? A bag of lime?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  Uh, calcium oxide.

• 56:19H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Quick lime.

• 56:21H. Foley?

  What does that do?

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Reacts with the water and then it dries out the surrounding environment.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  Ooh, that don't sound pleasant.

• 56:29Speaker 00

  I hope I'm long gone when they do that. Talk about a ouchie. Uh, yeah, but if the ink had settled through and now I'm doing like a once, that's the last thing you pick up and throw in a black contractor bag to trash.

• 56:46H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  And man, the power was out. Cause I stopped paying a bill.

• 56:51H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  So to shut off and it was getting dark, so I'm losing, I'm trying to clean this place with daylight. You know what I mean?

• 56:58H. Foley?

  Natural lighting. True artist.

• 57:00Speaker 00

  Which, not a nice place. There wasn't a lot of natural light, you know?

• 57:03H. Foley?

  Oh, there was no skylight coming in?

• 57:04Speaker 00

  He's wearing, he's wearing Florida ceiling windows. And it's getting darker and darker and I lift that up and see that and I go...

• 57:12H. Foley?

  It was all basement windows, but you were on the, you were on the third floor. Like prison windows?

• 57:18Speaker 00

  Uh, and I'm doing this, so it's just like one beam of light coming in. Um, and I go, oh, that's, it's, you still like, I kind of, I knew, I didn't fully believe him. Like, oh, that'll wipe right up. Like, lying to myself, but no, like, you could tell that's, that's...

• 57:33H. Foley?

  Billy Mays for that.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  Dude, I one wipe with this, two wipe, three, dude, not even flinching. And I just went, that's...

• 57:41H. Foley?

  Just put the rug back over it.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  Cause you're gonna have to take that out of security deposit, big dog. Cause I ain't fucking, I need this 1100, but I ain't getting it. See you later.

• 57:52Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 57:53H. Foley?

  When you're waiting on a security deposit,

• 57:56H. Foley?

  you're jammed up.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  I mean, I've, I, this is the only apartment I've never waited on my security deposit. I remember I got this apartment I'm currently in, right when we started doing the pot, like the podcast started doing okay. Started making, you know, a couple of bucks. Still had a day job and everything, but like, and I was going, you, do you know, cause you know the rules. You go, they got 31 days to provide me an itemized breakdown.

• 58:21H. Foley?

  I never knew that. And I might've said this on the pod before, I always tried to pay the last month's rent with the security deposit. Well, you got that.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're technically, technically not allowed to do that. And also, I liked, I mean, I was only on, I only had one lease in New York prior to this. And if I was going good, that means I got, I think it was like 13 or 12, 12, 20, whatever my rent was, I was deep in the heights. And I was going, whatever that was, I got, if I can get through this month and I get that on the 5th, woo, you can't tell me shit.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  Pizza, pizza.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. Kids eating, dog.

• 58:59H. Foley?

  Feel like the Noid.

• 59:00Speaker 00

  Watch out for the Noid, the Noid steals pizza.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Uh, all right, let's see here. Um, this one's just, well, this is from, I'm a $10 homie, never had one read. Is it garbage if your dad uses Cameo, great service, to project a video of a member of Steel Panther on the wall at his wedding to congratulate my new stepmom? And he mentions how much he knows she likes the Shocker.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  What?

• 59:26Speaker 00

  It was a surprise she didn't know about, and in front of everyone's family, he even did the hand sign. What are we doing?

• 59:35H. Foley?

  The Shocker meaning the...

• 59:36Speaker 00

  Two in the pink, one in the stink. Imagine your mom knowing you like that?

• 59:41H. Foley?

  Your mom knowing?

• 59:42Speaker 00

  We're at the wedding.

• 59:44H. Foley?

  Imagine the kid knowing you.

• 59:45Speaker 00

  Anybody. You know, I mean, you can make assumptions, but you don't want anybody knowing, you know.

• 59:51H. Foley?

  I heard you really liked the Shocker. Wow.

• 59:54Speaker 00

  And then does the hand if you're if there was any confusion as to what it was.

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  And Cindy gets to see it. Uh, that's, I mean. In a world where you wanna play of no videos from Steel Panther, I get that it's kitschy.

• 1:00:09H. Foley?

  Who's Steel Panther?

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  That like, uh, they were like an ironic.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Glam band, yeah.

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  Were they around back in the day? I thought they like.

• 1:00:19H. Foley?

  I don't know, this second marriage people step, I don't give a fuck.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  They formed.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  Nobody's grandparents are still alive for this.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Two thousands.

• 1:00:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, they formed in the two thousands as like a fun, you get dressed up and he's like, we would get dressed up as like, fucking like we're in Poison with like a headband, a wig, and you go and they fucking, I don't know if they play hits, they play, I don't know what they do. But like they, it's like a, it's like an experience. They rock out.

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  She likes a shocker, huh?

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  My kinda gal.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  Titty little bird. Hello?

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  And that.

• 1:00:49H. Foley?

  That's, uh, yeah. Probably a hell of a wedding though. Probably a good time, bet your old man laid out for it.

• 1:00:56Speaker 00

  Bet your she laid down for it too.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Hey, take it easy. Now you're being disrespectful.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  No!

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  This is goddamn new mother.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  That's nothing worse than, uh, Gary from Steel Panther.

• 1:01:04H. Foley?

  Don't you worry about it, big guy. It's all good.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  What? Who you talking to?

• 1:01:08H. Foley?

  The kid.

• 1:01:09Speaker 00

  It's a girl. I think that's the last thing, picture her dad, you know, wearing someone like a glove. That's the last thing she wants, dude.

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? I mean, come on. The day.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  Alright, yeah!

• 1:01:23Speaker 00

  Day to Lord.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  Trying to make him feel better.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Some of their big hits include Fat Girl, Stripper Girl.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  I know that.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  Hell's on Fire.

• 1:01:36H. Foley?

  Sounds like a lovely affair.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  This is just obvious.

• 1:01:41H. Foley?

  I'd like to get the menu at that wedding.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  That's who in Rockstar, Mark Wahlberg, I guess, plays with them. That's one of their claims to fame. Steel Panther.

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  The original.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  In the movie Rockstar.

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  I thought it was Timothy Olyphant, somebody else.

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, that's the actual band.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, Steel Dragon is the fake one.

• 1:02:01Speaker 00

  Wait, Steel Dragon's the real band?

• 1:02:04H. Foley?

  Steel Dragon's what Kirk Caddy was in.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  No, was, yeah, Steel Dragon's a real band.

• 1:02:10Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:02:13H. Foley?

  This kid's on the fritz.

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  Steel Panther, I'm guessing, I don't know, was probably the band he played, was the, they acted as the band he played with, maybe.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  Before he made it big.

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:02:23Speaker 00

  Stand up and shout! We're probably gonna get hit for copyright infringement, cuz I killed that. Stand up and let it out.

• 1:02:30H. Foley?

  Steel Dragon was alright.

• 1:02:31Speaker 00

  Stand up! Bobby Beers?

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  More like Chris Queers?

• 1:02:35H. Foley?

  Lead singer was great in that.

• 1:02:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, who was it? The gay guy?

• 1:02:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, I can't remember his name. He's in a bunch of shit. Great actor.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  His brother who was, I mean, this is like the second episode in three weeks we've talked about.

• 1:02:48H. Foley?

  Rockstar.

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  Hell of a film.

• 1:02:50H. Foley?

  Hell of a film.

• 1:02:51Speaker 00

  One hell of a model American. Uh...

• 1:02:53H. Foley?

  Almost a perfect movie.

• 1:02:54Speaker 00

  Okay, alright, John. I, I can't wait you right, Neil. Uh, we gotta do this, and then we can do this and then wrap up. This is just a Hall of Fame dirtbag saying, "I said it today to my wife on the New Jersey Turnpike."

• 1:03:09H. Foley?

  Balls to the wall.

• 1:03:09Speaker 00

  This is for a mud butt, uh, for the, ha, got my boy Mudbutt. "Is it garbage to mention to people when you're driving to be careful, it's the end of the month, so the cops are looking to fill their quota?"

• 1:03:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, fill the quota!

• 1:03:24Speaker 00

  I saw two people pulled over today within like three miles on the turnpike, and I went, "Probably the end of the month." Looked down, end of the month.

• 1:03:32H. Foley?

  Quota.

• 1:03:33Speaker 00

  Getting the quota. They're just writing the tickets, going right back to, one guy saw him write a ticket, go right into the barracks. Pull up, lets his lights on, whoop!

• 1:03:41H. Foley?

  Probably hit it.

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  That's it.

• 1:03:42H. Foley?

  Done for the month.

• 1:03:43Speaker 00

  Done for the day.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  Shut it down.

• 1:03:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Hit the leisure.

• 1:03:48H. Foley?

  Gotta watch, end of the month.

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  Don't get ya.

• 1:03:50H. Foley?

  Quota.

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

  I was, they're just trying to get their quota. Is that true? Can we get a, can we get eyes on that real quick?

• 1:03:58H. Foley?

  Man, you're gonna burn this kid out.

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  He's got to give us a good answer.

• 1:04:02H. Foley?

  Gonna blow a fuse.

• 1:04:03Speaker 00

  Steel Panther does not have a quota. What?

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  I was completely wrong about that, by the way.

• 1:04:07H. Foley?

  I assumed you were. What the hell are you talking about?

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  Uh, many police departments, uh, deny using a quota, but there's evidence suggesting that they do, either formally or informally. So it could be off the books.

• 1:04:22H. Foley?

  That kinda operation.

• 1:04:23Speaker 00

  Sure. Undercover, shadow.

• 1:04:25H. Foley?

  I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  Shadow ops.

• 1:04:27H. Foley?

  Pull it over.

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  We gotta wrap it up.

• 1:04:29H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death!

• 1:04:31Speaker 00

  Uh-huh.

• 1:04:31H. Foley?

  And we'll see you next week.

• 1:04:32Speaker 00

  Peace!