Science-Backed Secrets to Brain Health and Mental Resilience

Revolutionize your well-being with Science-Backed Secrets to Brain Health and strategies to build Mental Resilience! I’m excited to reconnect with my good friend and a titan in the realm of neuroscience, Dr. Daniel Amen. With an illustrious career that spans 5 best-selling books, pioneering clinics across the country, and transformative health strategies, Dr. Amen's insights have the power to change lives across all ages. Stress, digital overload, and lifestyle choices constantly challenge our mental equilibrium, which means understanding the fundamentals of brain health has never been more critical. Here's a sneak peek of the insights from today’s episode: Mind vs. Brain: What’s the difference and how to nurture both Learn about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) and practical steps to counteract their harmful effects on our mental state Explore the impact of diet—caffeine, sugar, and beyond—on brain health, mental clarity and resilience The critical importance of bonding and attachment, not just for children but in relationships at all ages Discover strategies to build resilience in the face of adversity, enhancing your ability to bounce back stronger from life's challenges Learn the value of holding oneself accountable and the role of physical activity in maintaining a healthy brain. Addressing the modern challenge of screen time and social media, offering balanced approaches for healthy engagement. Dr. Amen's expertise extends beyond individual wellness to also include strategies for raising mentally strong and happy children, making this episode a vital listen for families too. Explore the science-backed secrets to unlocking a healthier, more resilient mind and brain. Whether for yourself or your loved ones! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. GrowthDay.com/Ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high-performance techniques in there. Courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. GrowthDay.com/Ed. I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it waiting weeks on a big bank for capital. Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason. Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to Cardiff.co/Ed. That's Cardiff.co/Ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends. Like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior-like beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit MichelobUltra.com/SuperiorAccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser-Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 2:05Ed Mylett?

  This is the admire show.

• 2:10Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I have a real friend here today and somebody that I admire tremendously. He's helped me. He scanned my brain, as a matter of fact. And I have referred friends to him who were in need of his work because I believe in him. Interestingly, I've also referred a few young people to him over the years that were the children of people that I love that needed help. And I'm really grateful that he's written a book that he has coming out right now called Raising Mentally Strong Kids. Because of all the people that I've referred to him over the years, I felt the best about the children that he was able to help and catch whatever was going on there a little bit earlier and turn it around. He's only done about 160,000 brain scans

• 2:56Ed Mylett?

  from people from over 121 countries. So I think he's just about ready to be qualified to talk about this topic today. I think he's the foremost expert on brain health on the planet. He's a great friend of mine. I love him very much. He's a strong man of faith as well. Dr. Daniel Amen, welcome back to the show, brother.

• 3:13Daniel Amen?

  Thank you so much for helping me spread this message about brain health and mental strength. Kids are in trouble more than ever before. It's horrifying. There's a new study the CDC put out that 54% of teenage girls report being persistently sad, that 32% have thought of killing themselves, 24% have planned to kill themselves. Just think of that. A quarter of teenage girls and 13% have tried. These are statistics unlike anything in recorded history.

• 3:50Ed Mylett?

  Why?

• 3:52Daniel Amen?

  Well, it's an interesting question, but we're living in a toxic society. So if you take the toxic food, we feed them, the toxic products that go on their bodies, the toxic social media that creates this high level of self-absorption and self-absorbed people are never happy people. And then the toxic news, which really...

• 4:21Daniel Amen?

  Drives them to negative thinking patterns. Because you and I both knows the news is no longer the news. The news is like the crisis news network. Because if they scare you, you'll pay attention. And so you buy more copper underwear. But the negativity, and I actually have been studying negativity bias. So does your mind tend to go to what's wrong, or does it go to what's right? And if your mind goes to what's wrong, you're much more likely to be anxious, to be depressed, to have an addiction. And so I train kids to have a positivity bias and to take care of their brains.

• 5:04Ed Mylett?

  In the book, you reference the fact that they need to be working on their brains and their minds. Tell me, did I misunderstand that, or is there a difference between those two things?

• 5:15Daniel Amen?

  Well, your brain, the physical functioning of your brain, moment by moment, creates your mind. And like all the parenting books on the bookshelf, nobody's talking about brain health. But it's the health of your brain that then creates your mind. So if you think of it like hardware and software, you have to get the hardware right first.

• 5:40Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 5:41Daniel Amen?

  And then you have to program it properly. Like in the book, we talk about brain health and brain reserve and how to have a healthy brain. But once you have a healthy brain, well, how do you have a healthy mind? And we talk about killing the ants, the automatic negative thoughts that steal people's happiness. I was 28 years old in my psychiatric residency before I learned I didn't have to believe every stupid thing I thought. The brain is a sneaky organ, right? We all have weird, crazy, stupid, sexual, violent thoughts that nobody should ever hear.

• 6:19Daniel Amen?

  But there's nothing in school, I'm friends with Paul Simon, love Paul Simon, especially his song Kodachrome, which starts off with, "When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all." And if you think, schools really have not been redesigned in 120 years. We need to redesign them to create healthy people.

• 6:48Ed Mylett?

  Well, I was forty-eight years old before I learned about the ants, which was from you. And I remember leaving you that day and saying to my son, who was the first person I saw, I go, hey, Max. I just had a revelation. He goes, what's that, Dad? I said, I don't have to believe everything I think. And one other thing I have a tendency to do, I want to know if this affects children, because really, this book and today's conversation will be about mental health in general. But more specifically, how it applies to our children. I do something when I have a negative thought, Dr. Aman, where I do what I call it like thought stacking. So I get a negative thought. I don't do this with my positive ones. I do with my negative ones. Where I repeat it over and over and over, and then I stack it. If this happens, then that happens, and this.

• 7:32Ed Mylett?

  And I create this entire almost narrative in my mind of what I determine, I I coined thought stacking. Is that a common thing in people just like me? Or is that something that happens in children as well, where maybe they're being bullied at school, they have a thought, I don't want to, and then they repeat it and repeat it, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And now you believe the bigger lie, it's even worse than the original lie you were telling yourself.

• 7:56Daniel Amen?

  Thoughts stack, the ants, the automatic negative thoughts. They link, they stack, they link, and then they attack you. And it's it's not hard to kill the ants. But it needs to become a practice. And I have my patients, especially the ones that are anxious, depressed, or obsessive. Write down a hundred of their worst thoughts. And then take them through a process to get rid of them. And it doesn't work after you do it the first, second, third, or fourth time.

• 8:35Daniel Amen?

  But after you do it the twentieth or thirtieth time, pretty soon, your brain is making new connections to attack and eliminate.

• 8:44Daniel Amen?

  The ants. And in the book, I talk about nine different types of ants. So.

• 8:51Ed Mylett?

  Let's go through three or four of them, if you don't mind. We want them to get the book, but let's give them.

• 8:54Daniel Amen?

  Fortune telling.

• 8:55Ed Mylett?

  What's that? What's for, I know what it is, but you tell them.

• 8:57Daniel Amen?

  Where you're predicting things are gonna turn out badly, even though you don't have evidence for it. There's mind reading, where you believe you know what another person is thinking, even though they haven't told you that. And I have 25 years of education, and I can't tell what anybody else is thinking. A negative, you know, a negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than they're constipated. You don't know, right? It's like, clarify it. Blame is the worst ant. It's a big red ant, because when you blame someone else for the problems in your life, you become a victim, and you become powerless.

• 9:40Daniel Amen?

  So I wrote my first book many moons ago. It was called The Sabotage Factor. All the ways we mess ourselves up from getting what we want. And the number one hallmark of self-defeating behavior is blaming other people for how your life is turning out. There's guilt beating, and, and one of the worst ones, it's happening, we're in a political year, is labeling. Whenever you label yourself or someone else with a negative term, you're liberal, you're conservative, you're a jerk, he's an idiot, you lump them with all the liberals, conservatives, jerks, idiots that you've ever known,

• 10:23Daniel Amen?

  and you can't deal with them anymore. Because you're not dealing with them, you're dealing with a group of them. So, here's the exercise. Whenever you're sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, write down what you're thinking. And then identify what kind of ant it is. And then we take them through this process that actually borrowed from my friend Byron Katie. It's like, Tana never listens to me. So that's an all or nothing thought. Whenever you think in words like always, never, everyone, every time, it's usually wrong. So Tana, my wife, never listens to me. I've had that thought. And so you write it down. And then you go, is that true?

• 11:07Daniel Amen?

  And if you're really irritated, you go, yeah. And then you go, is it absolutely true? With a hundred percent certainty. I've written and produced eighteen national public television specials about the brain. She has listened to all of the scripts. So it's like, no, that's actually not true. The third question is, how does that thought make you feel? Sad. How does the thought make you act? Mad. What's the outcome of the thought? Separation. So the fourth question is, how would I feel if I didn't have the thought? Happy? How would I act? Connected? What's the outcome? We have a better relationship.

• 11:51Daniel Amen?

  And my favorite question of all of them is five. Take the original thought, Tana never listens to me, and flip it to the opposite. Tana does listen to me. Now, don't go to the narcissistic opposite, which is she always listens to me. Because that's not true either. And go, Tana does listen to me. And then I'm completely not bugged by my thought. And you have to understand, thoughts are creations of your mind. And they come from all sorts of places. Sometimes they're not yours. Sometimes they actually come from your mom or dad, or from your grandparents.

• 12:32Daniel Amen?

  Because we know trauma, for example, gets transmitted epigenetically. So it actually comes through our genes. And so if my grandfather, because he had a big trauma when he was nineteen years old.

• 12:47Ed Mylett?

  Wow, wow.

• 12:48Daniel Amen?

  That can actually impact my dad's genes and then impact me. So this whole thing of epigenetics is so interesting. So thoughts can come from a different generation. They come from the voices, obviously, of my mom. You know, I'll give you something to cry about. Uh, or my dad, uh, who told me, what did he say? Well, I told him I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Why don't you want to be a real doctor? Why do you want to be a nut doctor and hang out with nuts all day long? So voices come from our parents, from our siblings, from our friends, our foes, from the music we listen to, the news we watch. And they lie. I mean, that's the one thing I didn't know till I was 28. Thoughts lie.

• 13:33Daniel Amen?

  Just because you have a thought has nothing to do with whether or not it's true, whether or not it's helpful. And you can learn to direct them. Or you can become a victim of them. And one great strategy I talk about in the book is give your mind a name. Is, it's based on this concept of gaining psychological distance from the nonsense in your head. So I named my mind after my pet raccoon. When I was 16, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. I had a pet raccoon. I loved her. But she was a troublemaker. Would leave raccoon poo in my shoes, ate all the fish out of my sister's aquarium. And that's my mind. My mind will just like stir up trouble.

• 14:16Daniel Amen?

  And I'll see, you know, everything's gone away and I died this horrible death. And, you know, my mind used to do the same thing you were talking about. It would stack and link and then attack me. Like if I almost got into an accident, I wouldn't go, oh, thank God, I'm fine. I would see the accident play out. I'd then see the car burst into flames. I'd then see the ambulance driver probably had ADD and got lost to the accident. And that I would be in the hospital and I'd be burned over 80% of my body. And the nurse was not cute.

• 14:52Ed Mylett?

  I was thinking two things. One, the separation from the thought. These exercises are separating you, that word that you use. And when you get distance or above your thought, you can begin to see sort of the folly of them and the ridiculousness of them. As you were describing it also, I'm processing, because this is something that I really work on myself. You and I have talked about this. And the techniques that you just went through and more of them that are in the book, the lack of them, that pattern that we get is like you truly become a prisoner of your thoughts. And the techniques on the way out creates what I was thinking when you're saying it is freedom. There should be some freedom. If you could actually flip that, that strategy that you talked about, you go from being a prisoner of your thoughts to freedom.

• 15:34Ed Mylett?

  I just talked about this in the last interview and there's this great quote that I mess up all the time from Gandhi that says, "I will not allow you to trample through my mind with your dirty feet." And in my own life, a lot of time, I'm the guy walking and trampling through my mind with my dirty feet. And I don't have to believe everything I think. If we were to look at the scans of an unhealthy brain of one of these children or one of ourselves, what would we see, number one? Would we see this evidence if we looked at a scan? And two, the traditional world's prescription for that is literally a prescription most of the time, which is some sort of medication. And so I want your thoughts on that. What would we see if we looked at the scan of someone who's healthy

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  versus unhealthy in these situations? And how do you feel about prescribing prescription medication to children for the most part as a general answer for these ailments? Or problems they think they have?

• 16:32Daniel Amen?

  Oh, two huge questions. I did a study with Noell Nelson, who wrote a book called The Power of Appreciation. And we scanned her when she was appreciating her life. And then, and her brain was really healthy. And I'm like, "We need to scan you when you're hating your life." And she goes, "Oh, I don't want to do that. That'll make me unhappy." I'm like, "Come on, you have to suffer for science." And so I remember it like it was yesterday. Right before I scanned her, she's, her dog was sick. And so her thoughts linked, "My dog is sick. I have to stay home."

• 17:15Daniel Amen?

  I'm gonna lose my job. I won't have money to take care of the dog. The dog will die. And I'll be sad and I'll end up homeless in Malibu. I mean, like, within five minutes. That was the trail. And then I injected the medicine that we do the scans with. And the spec scans we do are so cool because we're getting that moment in time of that couple of minutes. But that couple of minutes seems to be your brain over time. And healthy, when she thought what she appreciated about her life and when she thought what she hated about her life or her fear, her frontal lobes dropped.

• 17:59Daniel Amen?

  So the frontal lobes is the break in your brain. Her left temporal lobe dropped, which is often a source of really dark thoughts, like suicidal thoughts. And her cerebellum dropped. Cerebellum's the back bottom part of the brain that's involved in physical coordination, but it's also involved in thought coordination. So she's not coordinated. She's irritated and she has less control. And when I saw that, I'm like, oh, this is negativity is the pattern that creates athletic slumps. Because if you think you're gonna strike out, you're a little less coordinated

• 18:43Daniel Amen?

  and you're more likely to strike out. Isn't that interesting? If I think I'm gonna miss the free throw, then I'm more likely to miss the free throw. And so negativity is bad for the brain. And I'm doing this study now on negativity bias. And it's just associated with every bad thing.

• 19:09Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Burchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com/ed and check it out.

• 19:34Ed Mylett?

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• 20:19Ed Mylett?

  to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety. ro.co/safety. So when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating, and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed, and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand-vetted by product specialists. They use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great, and I get compliments on it.

• 21:03Ed Mylett?

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• 21:38Daniel Amen?

  Now, medication, that's a huge

• 21:40Ed Mylett?

  I know.

• 21:41Daniel Amen?

  topic, and it's not the first thing I think about. I own a supplement company, so if you're depressed, I want you to be on a good multiple vitamin. I want you to take omega-3 fatty acids, and I want you to take saffron. Because there are now 25 randomized controlled trials showing it's equally effective to antidepressants, but rather than knock off your libido, it enhances it, and it enhances your memory. So the science of saffron, very exciting. Now, if nothing is working, generally with kids, I don't give them antidepressants because they have black box warnings

• 22:25Daniel Amen?

  and can increase the risk of suicidal behavior. Now, if I'm really stumped, I might. The issue with ADD is different, though. And I know, everybody thinks all the kids are over-medicated, and they are, but there are a lot of kids that aren't medicated that should be. Because having untreated ADD, right, whenever the doctor says, "Oh, I think maybe we should treat him for ADD", you want to go, "I want to know the side effects." And they generally can lose their appetite, can develop tics, can have problems sleeping. I mean, it has side effects. But you have to ask the other question. What are the side effects of having untreated ADD? Which are things like school failure,

• 23:08Daniel Amen?

  friend failure, incarceration, bankruptcy, divorce. It's a lot.

• 23:14Ed Mylett?

  Identity and confidence starts to stack the wrong way.

• 23:16Daniel Amen?

  If you're not, if you really have ADD and you're not diagnosed by the age of nine, your self-esteem generally is problematic. Because you try and it doesn't work. You try and it doesn't work. And, you know, my first thought is not medicine. I have natural solutions like decrease their time on gadgets, get them to exercise, more sunshine, simple supplements like multiple vitamin, fish oil.

• 23:46Daniel Amen?

  Rodeola is one of my favorite supplements to help with focus and decrease stress. But if those things don't work, I'd think about it, stimulant.

• 23:54Ed Mylett?

  Okay, you would. Is it saffron? Is that how you said it?

• 23:57Daniel Amen?

  Saffron.

• 23:58Ed Mylett?

  Spelled how? So everybody knows.

• 23:59Daniel Amen?

  S A F F R O N. So the spice, it's the world's most expensive spice. But if you just look at the science, it's stunning.

• 24:09Ed Mylett?

  Okay, that's crazy.

• 24:10Daniel Amen?

  And when I, when I learned about saffron, it was 25 years ago. I'm reading the studies and they're pro-sexual. And that's the thing that got me. Because all the SSRIs I prescribe,

• 24:23Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 24:24Daniel Amen?

  people don't want to have sex. Or it takes longer to have an orgasm. Now, if somebody has premature ejaculation, that can be really helpful for them. It's like one of those little tricks with Prozac. I'm like, you'll last longer, sometimes you'll last forever.

• 24:38Ed Mylett?

  Forever.

• 24:40Daniel Amen?

  Wear your partner out, very bad. But I saw it was pro-sexual and I'm like, pay attention. And then, so there's five studies showing sexual enhancement for females and males. But 25 studies on men.

• 24:56Ed Mylett?

  Interesting. So, small thing, well, not small. One thing you emphasized with me was caffeine. And I'm just curious if you still feel strongly about that because I'm thinking about kids in general and I'm thinking of all these energy drinks. Everybody drinks coffee at about age three, it seems like nowadays, right? And I remember in my case, you were saying, hey, listen, this may seem insignificant and small and yeah, have omega-3s, but also like your caffeine intake is making an impact on your brain health. And I just, if people have children right now that are pumping them full of caffeine and soft drinks and all these other things, there's gotta be an impact on brain health for them as well.

• 25:31Daniel Amen?

  And why would you do that? It's clearly a drug. And it's just a bad idea, caffeine. And the reason... You know, I pick on lots of things.

• 25:40Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 25:41Daniel Amen?

  I pick on alcohol.

• 25:41Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 25:42Daniel Amen?

  I pick on marijuana. Uh, but I pick on caffeine because it constricts blood flow to the brain. And what we've learned is neurons, brain cells, don't age. It's blood vessels that age. And so what you want, I often talk about brain envy. You know, you wanna want to have a better brain. Freud was wrong. Penis envy's not the thing. Uh, you wanna have blood flow envy. Because you wanna keep their blood flow, your blood flow, right? Cause to be mentally, have mentally strong kids, you have to model that, right? So it always starts with parents being mentally strong. Um, but you wanna lose the caffeine and sugar, right?

• 26:26Daniel Amen?

  I mean, energy drinks are just a disaster.

• 26:29Ed Mylett?

  I have one sitting right over there. That's probably why I'm doing such a bad job in the interview.

• 26:34Daniel Amen?

  No, they're not good for you because, I mean, one, the sugar is pro-inflammatory. Brand new study out today on inflammation damaging the dopamine circuit in the front part of your brain. So kill the sugar. And whenever it comes to food, you just wanna ask yourself this question. Do I love it and does it love me back?

• 26:57Ed Mylett?

  Gotcha.

• 26:58Daniel Amen?

  Uh, and so with kids, when my daughter was two, we played this game called Chloe's Game. Is this good for my brain or bad for it? And so I'd go avocados and she'd go two thumbs up, Rod's butter. If I said blueberries, she'd put her little hands on her hips and go, are they organic? Because non-organic, blueberries hold more pesticides than almost any fruit. And I'm like, no, of course they're organic. She'd go, oh, God's candy.

• 27:24Ed Mylett?

  Oh, God's candy. I love that.

• 27:25Daniel Amen?

  Hitting a soccer ball with your head. Oh, very stupid. Brain is soft, skull is hard. Skull has sharp, bony ridges. Right? And it's playing these games, I talk about this in the book, playing these games with kids just to get them to love and think about and care about their brain. And a lot of parents, especially parents of teenagers, go, I just don't have any influence. It's because you don't have a good bond. With them. And in the book, I talk a lot about attachment. Or Dr. Faye and I talk a lot about attachment. Because my dad and I weren't not bonded. We didn't really like each other. And when I was eighteen, another political year, it was nineteen seventy-two.

• 28:11Daniel Amen?

  My dad told me if I voted for Senator McGovern, the country would go to hell. I voted for McGovern because I did not was not bonded to my dad. And the country went to hell, but it had nothing to do with McGovern, right? It was all Richard Nixon and Watergate and all that craziness. If you want influence, you have to be attached. And for the kids that are attached to their parents, they tend to pick their values. And what does bonding require? Time, actual, physical time without your phone.

• 28:46Daniel Amen?

  And listening. And there's one exercise in here that's so good. It's gold. It's called special time. Twenty minutes a day with your kids, doing something they want to do. And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions. It's just to be in their space. And I don't know if when you were a kid, that would have been special to you. For me, I'm one of seven. That was so much. I mean, not so much for my dad because he was harsh. But with my mom, I just craved.

• 29:20Ed Mylett?

  So did I. In fact, it's so special and profound, I can think of the only two or three of those moments I had with my dad. And I can picture them right now. Right when you said it, I flashed, I know. Literally at a park playing catch with my dad, he was the catcher. I was, I was just literally, I was, it was like one of these very rare. You imagine that? I'm fifty-three years old this month. And those moments are so special, I can recall the only two or three of them that I remember as a child. They're that big of a deal.

• 29:48Daniel Amen?

  I want you to say more about that. That's so important.

• 29:51Ed Mylett?

  Well, I, I'm, so, you know, so here I sit here and I can picture really only two or three of them in my life. Now, by the way, even when I picture them too, my whole internal state, I can feel changing when I say it. There's another part of me that's sad that my recollection is only two or three of these moments. And the reason I think I recall them, which I want to ask you about that in a minute, is because they were so unique and stood out emotionally for me. That they they they are, they they appear to be

• 30:24Ed Mylett?

  more from a neurological standpoint, connected to me and my brain than other experiences of my life because my emotions were so high during those moments.

• 30:31Daniel Amen?

  And that's how memories form. It's anchored with emotion.

• 30:35Ed Mylett?

  So the higher, that is true then, Dr. Amos. So the higher the emotional state during a moment, the more likely the memory is anchored to us.

• 30:42Daniel Amen?

  Yes, good or bad. And so, you know, if it's really bad, when I was six,

• 30:49Daniel Amen?

  my mom said, I told a lie, I don't remember it. But I do remember her starting to cry and say, "I never thought I would have a son who's going to hell." I'm like, I think that imprinted that you're bad at some level. And overall, my mom was great.

• 31:08Ed Mylett?

  And overall, my dad was.

• 31:10Daniel Amen?

  But, you know, they made mistakes, right? And so, being forgiving is important. But when you're not bonded,

• 31:23Daniel Amen?

  it can create all sorts of unconscious mischief in your brain. So, for example, our big goal as babies and small children is to be attached because they feed us, they protect us, they house us.

• 31:40Daniel Amen?

  It's life-saving. And when the bond becomes broken, we develop this internal rage. But then, because we need them, we feel guilt about the rage and we suppress it. But then, we start attacking ourselves because we feel guilt like we actually did something awful, right? The brain can often not distinguish an action from a thought. And we live with this sort of chronic sense of being bad.

• 32:14Daniel Amen?

  And it comes out in physical symptoms like back pain or neck pain or your guts not right. And often, healing people, you have to get in touch with the broken attachment and the rage. But more importantly, the guilt of.

• 32:33Ed Mylett?

  So you answered one of my next questions, which says that do thoughts have physical manifestations in our bodies? And clearly, you're saying they do. So.

• 32:40Daniel Amen?

  Well, if I hooked your body up, and when I was a young psychiatrist, I was a biofeedback therapist. So I would hook up your hand temperature, how much your hands sweat, your muscle tension, breathing rate, heart rate variability. And then I would ask you questions. And I'd just say, "Father." And if your dad was like mine, which was an ambivalent, stressful concept for me. Now, we fixed it when he was 85, thank God. But immediately, if you would have said, "Father," my hands would get colder, they would start to sweat, my muscles would get tense,

• 33:20Daniel Amen?

  my breathing would become faster and more shallow, and my heart rate variability would go down. And it happens immediately. So whenever you have a negative thought, it impacts your physiology. Virtually every cell in your body responds to that. Whenever you have a positive thought, a hopeful thought, a happy thought, and for the most part, with my mom, not that, but for the most part, my hands would get warmer, they'd get drier, my muscles would be more relaxed.

• 33:53Ed Mylett?

  I know you can't answer this definitively, but I'm curious about it. So I've never asked anybody this, and I'm not putting you on the spot here, but I want to take that to a level, maybe even beyond what we just talked about. In our bodies, we all have some genetic predispositions, could be to a particular cancer, could be to heart disease, could be to Alzheimer's, et cetera, et cetera, whatever it might be. It's a hard one. When my dad got sick, you ever just have an overwhelming sense of something? You know, in your life, you just sense something. And in my dad's case, my dad was my favorite human being. He got sober. He was not my favorite human being when he was a drinker. Once he got sober, my favorite human, my best friend in the world. But my dad was a worrier.

• 34:38Ed Mylett?

  He inherited worrying thoughts from his father. And from his father's father. What you said earlier is so profound that even from a neurological standpoint, I mean genetically, we're inheriting some of this trauma. That's fascinating to me. But my father lived with his father, who was a worrier, a good man, but a worrier. And I lived with my father and I became one. And I just had this sense, my dad got cancer, what I still think is young, which is in his late 60s. And I have believed, this is just as a layman, I have not a scientific bone in my body, that perhaps the way that my dad lived with just chronic worry and concern may have flipped that gene on prematurely in his body. And I know that sounds like kind of a reach of sorts. Do you believe that-

• 35:22Daniel Amen?

  Psycho-neuroimmunology, which is your brain and the mind it creates, uh, can either increase cortisol in your body, stress hormone, or decrease it. And if you're putting yourself with your undisciplined mind, the worry habit, that was also modeled for him and modeled for you, um, you're more likely to have an immunological disorder, like an autoimmune disorder or cancer.

• 36:00Daniel Amen?

  In my work, I talk about it in the book, if you want to keep your brain healthy or rescue it, you have to prevent or treat the 11 major risk factors that steal your mind. And then we talk about them. And the mnemonic is bright minds. I think in our last podcast, we went through some of it. Well, the G is for genetics. But people don't think about genetics, right? I'm like, I'm overweight because my family's overweight. I'm like, no, you're overweight because you're eating too much, uh, but you have the genetic vulnerability. Like, that's one of my vulnerabilities.

• 36:30Ed Mylett?

  Same here.

• 36:31Daniel Amen?

  I have family members that are morbidly obese, but I'm not. Why? Because every day of my life, I know the risk factor and I'm on an obesity prevention program. I also have heart disease in my family, but I don't have heart disease because I'm on a heart disease prevention program. Every day of my life. So if you know your vulnerabilities, I adopted my two nieces because they had massive trauma and both parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. And I'm like, if you never drink, you're never gonna have a problem. And you need to be on an addiction prevention program every day of your life.

• 37:16Daniel Amen?

  And I'm like dead serious with them. And they're doing awesome.

• 37:24Ed Mylett?

  That's awesome.

• 37:26Ed Mylett?

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• 38:11Ed Mylett?

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• 38:48Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 39:28Ed Mylett?

  Speaking of kids, in the book, one of my concerns that I see is, by the way, I sound like an old man, get off my lawn when I say this. But what I worry about for the generation that I watch now is a resiliency deficiency. Because this last generation overall was, everybody got a trophy. Everybody won, everybody's okay. I don't think they've experienced it. A lot of helicopter parents have come in and fixed things at school. And I don't feel like there's a resiliency that maybe has come with previous generations. I certainly don't mean that critically because there's an innovation in this generation that's never existed before. There's a kindness, there's a wanting to give, there's a social consciousness that's even more elevated in some ways than ever.

• 40:12Ed Mylett?

  And so there's incredible things about this generation of young people right now. Did I sandwich that well? I think I did. And I mean those things. Having said that, what I see is resiliency. The first sign of defeat. They give in a little bit more than I would like to see. Or criticism affects them in a way that is even more, there's not a lot of thick skin, so to speak. And in the book, you talk about strategies from a neuroscience standpoint, about building resiliency in your children and some techniques and habits. I have to thank any parent listening to this or any human listening to this would love more strategies for resiliency. So throw something at us on that.

• 40:52Daniel Amen?

  Well, one of the huge mistakes I made early on, and I think it was because my self-esteem wasn't good, is I got self-esteem by fixing my kids' problems. And looking back, it's a huge mistake. And if a child comes to you and says, "I'm bored."

• 41:15Daniel Amen?

  Way too many parents scurry around trying to fix that for them. Please don't do that. Hand it back to them. It's like, oh, you're bored. I wonder what you're gonna do about that. And if they put it on you, you have taught them that you will solve their problems. And when Chloe, I pick on Chloe a lot. When she was seven, she was a Hellion. We all used to say she's gonna be the leader of a gang or the leader of the free world. And her mother used to sit with her for hours trying to, you know, nudge her to get her homework done. And I'm a child psychiatrist. I'm like, stop that. You did second grade. But she wasn't listening to me.

• 42:00Daniel Amen?

  And three of her friends recommended this program called Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay. It's spectacular. In fact, I co-wrote this book with Charles Fay, his son, who's the president of the Love and Logic Institute. And after Tana really got this, parenting in a way that allows children to make mistakes and pay the consequences for their mistakes when they're young to build resilience. Everything in the house changed. Everything. She announced to Chloe one night, sweetheart, I'm never gonna ask you to do your homework again. I've done second grade.

• 42:43Daniel Amen?

  And if you don't do it, it's on you. Teacher might be mad at you. You might not get to go out with recess. And if you really don't do it, you'll make new friends when you repeat second grade. And Chloe liked how to fit. That doesn't make any sense. Stormed off. Twenty minutes later, came back. No one's ever asked her to do her homework. She's gonna graduate from Chapin University. She's responsible. And oh, by the way, and some people are gonna think this is harsh. And I think it's incredibly loving. If she forgot her sweater at home, nobody brought it to her at school. She was cold. If she didn't bring her lunch, nobody brought it to her at school. She was hungry. But she only forgot it once.

• 43:26Daniel Amen?

  If she didn't bring her homework to school, even if she did it with a group of other kids, nobody brought it to school. Cause we were teaching her, you're responsible for your life. Now, of course, we're always protecting her. One of my kids would run in the street. I still have PTSD from her ADHD. But you protect her, but then there are consequences. Um, and never hit a child. I mean, seriously, that is just not helpful. But consequences are important. Uh, you know, whether it's time out or you drained my energy, so you get more chores.

• 44:07Daniel Amen?

  And oh, by the way, all children should have chores that you don't pay for. It's this is, you're part of this family and you're important to make the family work. There's a big study from Harvard looking at 454 inner city Boston school kids. They followed for 70 years. What goes with health, success and longevity? And the only thing that went was self-esteem, whether or not you worked as a child. And it can be a paper route. It can be chores. For me, I went to my dad's grocery store.

• 44:44Ed Mylett?

  I had the guy who's the current host for that at Harvard on. We talked about it and it, you're, you, you literally, our, our vibrational frequency together is so good. Cause it leads to my next question. There's a nuance with kids or friends or ourselves of what you just suggested, which is they forget their lunch. They don't eat, right? There's consequences. I'm not going to tell you to do your homework.

• 45:07Ed Mylett?

  When I was a kid, I had a, a friend whose father I loved. He was very kind to me. When my dad was drinking, I would go to their house and um.

• 45:18Ed Mylett?

  This friend of mine, uh, I think it's long enough that I could say this. This friend of mine was smarter than me. He was a little bit better athlete than me. Um, better looking kid than me. But I remember, my dad would drink and do different things. The one thing he never did, that I can remember anyway, was verbally beat me. So you talk about never hitting a kid. For some reason, this dad who was a good man, he must have learned it from his own dad. When his kid would drop a pass, "You idiot." Right? The F is wrong with you. Um, he would say something and he would shame him in front of me. And I remember it now that I'm 53. I've remembered it all my life.

• 46:01Ed Mylett?

  Remember, he's such a good, why does he talk to him like that? And then life's happened with both of us. And I, no assessment of whether he's a happy or sad person, I'm not around him. But he didn't go out into the world and become what I know he was capable of becoming. From an achievement standpoint, living on his own even. And I think he struggled through his life. I've watched the evidence of this and I attribute that to the verbal hitting of the child. When we were growing up. And I'm wondering, because there's a balance, isn't there? There's a nuance. See, all the parents that are helicopter parents, you've given them, you know, let them forget their lunch. But then there's the parents who are the tough parents.

• 46:44Ed Mylett?

  And I think sometimes then they take permission for what we just said. And they take it a step further where there's the verbal hitting of the child. That happens behind closed doors. And I, I have to believe that that is one of the things that impacted this man's life so deeply. Was the way his father spoke to him so negatively about himself. Cause all I ever wanted was my dad's affection.

• 47:06Daniel Amen?

  And that could be the birth of his own ants. His automatic negative thoughts. I think of good parents like good coaches. They notice what you do right and they teach you when you can do better.

• 47:19Ed Mylett?

  They teach you.

• 47:20Daniel Amen?

  Yeah, I got to do, uh, some work with the Miami Heat last year. And Erik Spoelstra is just such an amazing human being. And he's really positive, but he's also firm. And the research is very clear. So there's four different types of parents we talk about in the book. They're along two dimensions. Are you firm or permissive?

• 47:45Daniel Amen?

  Or versus being loving versus being hostile. So that gives you hostile, permissive, hostile, firm, loving, permissive, loving and firm. And so most people go loving and firm are the best parents by far, like not even close. And hostile and permissive, the worst parents. But then people go between loving and permissive or hostile and permissive. Which kids are the worst? It's loving and permissive. Interesting.

• 48:27Daniel Amen?

  Like, don't want to be permissive where kids have no supervision. So firm and kind, if you just remember those two words from this book, firm and kind. Whenever I come to make a decision with a child, like they didn't come home on time. Okay, I need to be firm, but I need to do it in a kind way. Like, you know, you're probably not going out for three weeks. And I love you and I'll look forward to spending more time with you if you want.

• 49:01Ed Mylett?

  What about physical activity as it affects brain health? Uh, this is a gamer, phone, et cetera. So combination question, physical activity. And I, I, I've asked you two two-parters today because I just think they're somewhat connected. And is there an age you think some child should not be on social media?

• 49:23Daniel Amen?

  As long as possible.

• 49:25Ed Mylett?

  If you had kids again right now, would your 10-year-old be on social or no?

• 49:28Daniel Amen?

  No.

• 49:29Ed Mylett?

  No, not 10?

• 49:30Daniel Amen?

  No, because why? Um, Apple and Facebook and TikTok, they work with neuroscientists to keep you there longer. Their goal is mind share. And that's not okay because they're stealing uh, the minds of this generation. I mean, on average, people are spending three and a half, four hours on social media. Just imagine.

• 50:03Daniel Amen?

  What you could do at that time. So, put screens off as long as humanly you can. And get them to exercise, but. It's coordination exercises. Remember, we talked about the cerebellum? Yes. It's tennis and table tennis and pickleball, racquetball. Those are really great for brain development. Cause the cerebellum. I'm getting old and people don't remember Rodney Dangerfield. I sure do. So. Respect. Horrifying for me. I get no respect. Cerebellum's this Rodney Dangerfield part of the brain. Ten percent of the brain's volume, but has half of the brain's neurons.

• 50:45Daniel Amen?

  And when you do coordination exercises, you're developing that very important part of your brain. And, uh, yeah, I'm not a fan of hitting soccer balls with your head. You said that multiple times, yeah. Uh, or letting kids play tackle football. I did the big NFL study when the NFL was sort of lying. They had a problem with traumatic brain injury in football. And now everybody knows it's true. Why would you put a developing brain in a position to have damage? Think, think about that. Your brain, and most people don't know this, but your brain is not finished developing until you're 25.

• 51:28Daniel Amen?

  So there's this process called myelinization. So your neurons, your brain cells get wrapped with a white fatty substance called myelin, sort of like insulation on a copper wire. And once they're myelinated, they work 10 to 100 times faster. So this is where maturity happens. Myelinization. Well, it starts in the back when you're two months old, right? Babies can see and when you smile at them, they smile back. Your prefrontal cortex, largest in humans than any other animal by far. Focus, forethought, judgment, impulse control, organization, planning, empathy, learning from the mistakes you make. It's not finished developing until you're 25.

• 52:10Daniel Amen?

  Which is why I'm not a fan of sending kids away to college and have them join sororities and fraternities with other underdeveloped brains. It's just a prescription for a lot of trauma and bad things to happen.

• 52:29Speaker 01

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• 52:59Ed Mylett?

  I got my hair cut this morning. And it's a young lady that cuts my hair. And she's always asking me for advice, you know, on life. And I said, well, I said, you know, you'll see these videos on social media often when you ask somebody towards the end of their life, they'll say, what are your regrets? And it's not typically, I wish I'd have worked more. It's typically, I wish I'd have been more present with my family. I wish I'd have traveled more. I wish I had more memories. And, I told her, and I wish I'd have taken more risks and pursued my dreams. I wish I wouldn't have played it so safe in my life. And it made an impact on her. And I watched her kind of drift into her thoughts. And she says, you know, Ed, I think my generation, at the end of their life, when we get there, they're gonna say their biggest regret is they wish they spent less time on their phones.

• 53:43Ed Mylett?

  They wish they spent less time on social media. That they wasted their lives away in these digital devices and they weren't present in the real world. And I told her, I said, I think you're 100% right. She goes, I know, 30 years from now, we'll be watching my generation say this. So your point is so incredibly profound. All right, this is, as usual, my conversations with you. I want to go 11 hours with you. We've already filled up most of our time here today. But I want to ask you this lastly.

• 54:12Ed Mylett?

  If someone's listening to this today, they have a child of themselves, they just have a sense that this person is in some sort of a spiral or a funk or a, just, they're not joyous and happy and productive. What did I not ask you about today? That I should have, that would be a technique or a strategy? That's in the book, by the way, it's raising mentally strong kids. I gotta tell everyone this. When I read the book, It is about children, but to be candid with all of you, it's kind of, you're your own kid. And it's almost a way to raise a mentally strong you as well, even if you don't have children. But what is something you'd say to someone that's just not themselves right now?

• 54:56Ed Mylett?

  What is something they could be doing, thinking, a technique or a strategy right now for them?

• 55:03Daniel Amen?

  Well, I would go back to bonding in special time. I would make sure the first thing, and yes, you can take them to see a mental health provider, and that can be helpful, can be hurtful if that's not the right person.

• 55:19Ed Mylett?

  Sure, a lot of that.

• 55:20Daniel Amen?

  But, but I think step one is know what you want as a parent. What kind of dad do I want to be? What kind of mom do I want to be? What kind of child do I want to raise? Because, you know, as an entrepreneur, everything really starts with what do I want? What's the goal of my business? What's the mission statement, right? Parents hardly ever do that.

• 55:41Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, that's true.

• 55:41Daniel Amen?

  What, what do I want? And then, what's going on with the bond between me and the child? Am I spending time? And am I talking less and listening more? And then, because then you'll be privy to their internal life? And you'll be able to assess, oh, I need to get him help. Or I just need more time with them. Time is so healing. And then, there's this great story in the book about why I collect penguins. And...

• 56:15Ed Mylett?

  What is it? Tell us the story.

• 56:19Daniel Amen?

  So, I just actually talked to my son.

• 56:24Daniel Amen?

  When he, I adopted him, and he was hard for me. Argumentative, oppositional, he was hard. And I'm in my child psychiatry training program, this is 40 years ago. And I'm telling my supervisor that I'm having trouble.

• 56:41Daniel Amen?

  And she goes, you need to spend more time with him. I'm like, but I'm mad at him, right? And she said, and gave me some strategies. And that weekend, I was doing my child's kaiju training program in Hawaii. And there's a place in Hawaii called Sea Life Park on Oahu. So I took him to Sea Life Park, and just he and I. And we saw the killer whale show, and that was great. And then we saw the dolphin show, and that was fun. And the sea lion show, which was hysterical. But at the end of the day, he grabs my shirt and he said, I want to see Fat Freddy. I'm like, who's Fat Freddy? He's like, the penguin show, Dad, don't you know anything? Right? That's the quality of our religion. And so we go into the stadium.

• 57:26Daniel Amen?

  And this little, fat, humble penguin walks onto the stage, climbs a high diving board, goes to the end, bounces, and then jumps in the water. And I have my arm around my son, and I'm like, this is so cool. And then Freddy bowled with his nose, he counted with his flipper, jumped through a hoop of fire, and I'm blown away. Until the trainer asked Freddy to go get something. And Freddy went and got it, and he brought it right back. And time stood still for me then, because I'm like, damn. I asked this kid to get something for me, and he wants to have a discussion, and then he doesn't want to do it. I knew it was my fault.

• 58:10Daniel Amen?

  I mean, it just crystallized. If she could get this bird to do all these really cool things, I'm doing something wrong. And I went up to the trainer afterwards, and I said, "That was really amazing. How did you get Freddy to do all these really cool things?" And she looked at Anthony, my son, and then she looked at me, and she said, "Unlike parents, whenever Freddy does anything like what I want him to do, I notice him. I give him a hug, and I give him a hug." Raw fish and the light went on in my head that even though my son didn't like raw fish that whenever he did what he I wanted him to do I didn't pay any attention to him

• 58:55Daniel Amen?

  because I was like my dad but when he didn't do what I wanted to do I gave him a ton of attention because I didn't want to raise bad kids so I was inadvertently noticing the wrong things so I collect penguins as a way to remind myself notice what you like about the people in your life because every day you are shaping them to be positive or negative and it's helped me so much in my life.

• 59:24Ed Mylett?

  I wish everybody could see your face right now.

• 59:28Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah, me too. I love you, brother.

• 59:32Daniel Amen?

  I love you back. Thank you for having me.

• 59:35Ed Mylett?

  That's such a great story. That's such a great story and it still impacts you that deeply now.

• 59:43Ed Mylett?

  You got me right there. You got me. That's why I love this man so much, you guys.

• 59:50Ed Mylett?

  Man, I'm thinking, do I do that? I hope I pay attention to the good things. I hope I give attention to the good things. What a lesson for a marriage, what a lesson for friends, what a lesson for being a parent.

• 1:00:03Daniel Amen?

  A boss.

• 1:00:04Ed Mylett?

  Ourselves.

• 1:00:06Daniel Amen?

  Ourselves.

• 1:00:07Ed Mylett?

  I so often.

• 1:00:08Daniel Amen?

  Well, one more story. It's public knowledge. Alicia Newman is my patient. Alicia is an Olympic athlete. She has the Canadian record for pole vaulting. She was indoor, world indoor pole vaulting champion last year. And when I first saw her, she was so hard on herself. She had a concussion, which is why she saw me. And she's just amazing now and we know every tournament.

• 1:00:40Daniel Amen?

  Or practice, she wins or she learns. So it's not about losing anymore. It's about we win or we learn.

• 1:00:52Ed Mylett?

  That's beautiful.

• 1:00:54Daniel Amen?

  I'm so proud of her. And then just one more. It's also public, Miley Cyrus has been my patient. And I love her so much. But her song Flowers, which is about self-love. One song of the year. She just got two Grammys for it. And that's the whole message, right? It's not permissiveness that's the right thing. It's being firm with yourself and kind at the same time.

• 1:01:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah. That's 100% it. Being firm with yourself and kind at the same time. I'm proud of you. I knew this would be good today. I don't think I knew it would be this good, though. And I love you and I love your work. You guys, this book is Raising Mentally Strong Kids. You should get it whether you have a kid or not, because there's a kid inside of you that needs to be mentally stronger and be more resilient and heal themselves as well. As usual, by the way, I'm getting all of these supplements that are in the book as well. I'm on a lot of them already from you, but I'm gonna get the rest of them. Thank you for today.

• 1:02:01Daniel Amen?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:02:02Ed Mylett?

  Love you, brother. All right, everyone. Hope you enjoyed today's show. Clearly, this is one I don't need to ask you to share. Share it with anybody that this applies to, which is probably everyone that you know, okay? God bless you. Max out your life.