Bonus #142 - Enter the Cheeks Zone Vol. 2 w/ Evan Williams [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld It's time once again to ascend to the Cheeks Zone. Stavvy Baby Enterprises consigliere Benny Buttcheeks takes dear friend Evan Williams and Stavvy under his wings to a transcendent realm to discuss important things like word associations of the male anatomy, Evan stealing from cartoonish ways from Gamestop and his mom, needing to hate podcasts to be good at them, what happens to us when we cross over, how bad Eldis is at producing, and much more. The Cheeks Man, Evan and Stav help callers including a guy whose mother-in-law is dating a grifter, and a guy whose friend always weasels out of paying for Ubers or driving when the bros go out partying. Check out Ben O'Brien's beautiful creative direction at stavvy.biz and Stav's accounts. Follow Ben on social media: https://www.instagram.com/benfobrien/ https://twitter.com/benfobrien Follow Evan Williams on social media: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsevanwilliams https://twitter.com/itsevanwilliams https://www.instagram.com/itsevanwilliams https://www.youtube.com/@Itsevanwilliams 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, Stavi, Elvis, guest, I have a problem for you. My mother-in-law's boyfriend is a grifter and he is conning her. She will not listen to reason about this.

• 0:13Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh, dick too good.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Let me give you a little bit of background. I'll be as brief as possible and just hit the high points. She's elderly, he is younger and healthy. He gets an allowance as a contractor through her small business.

• 0:26Stavros Halkias?

  Her small business.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  He's this wannabe musician. She's bought him guitars, she's paid for recording sessions and music videos. He lives with his ex-girlfriend for months at a time out of the year.

• 0:42Speaker 00

  He's convinced her to take out a bunch of home loans so he can do all this unpermitted work for the property. He hasn't finished a single project. The last thing he did, he punched a pipe into the septic tank. Planning on connecting it to something else, but he just left it. And now the whole place smells like shit all the time.

• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  So here's the real problem, the will. Now, he has convinced my mother-in-law to write my wife's sisters, her stepdaughters, out of the will entirely. He gets that chunk of inheritance now.

• 1:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hysterical.

• 1:14Speaker 00

  My wife and I are still set to receive the house. However, the will stipulates that he gets to live there until he dies. So my wife and I will get stuck with the mortgage, the property taxes. All of the home loans for his stupid shit until he's dead. So, we don't really know what to do, like, we don't really want to disclaim the inheritance. Like, do we have to put my mother-in-law under a conservatorship?

• 1:40Stavros Halkias?

  Can you?

• 1:41Speaker 00

  We really could use an outside perspective. So, the Dreamboat tour was amazing, you guys are great, thank you so much. Looking forward to hearing back from you.

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  This is a tough one. I know you guys shit on Elvis, but that was a really good one that he fielded there. That's a good one, but I guarantee you what's going on is when we come back. First of all, we have to do another episode on this trip. I bet you there's not two episodes worth. And also, when he comes back and we have to do another, and by the way, there's probably so many good ones, he just doesn't. What pisses me off about Eldis, this pisses me off. We, we, because of our schedules and because he's decided to take four week vacations without clearing it with me, right? And I'm, I'm always traveling, whatever. We, we bank episodes, but he never, he doesn't like periodically go through and check for good voicemails and just put them aside.

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  The, literally, minutes before we're about to do like a week of recordings. I'll see him like frantically be fucking checking all the, and it's like, you should have been doing this all, that's your whole fucking job. I know, I, we're not recording, but you're still the producer of the fucking podcast. So that's, I guarantee you, we've left gold that we'll never find because he only, even this. He should have had some ready. It shouldn't have been like, anyway, whatever, fuck Eldis. He's a fucking piece of shit. Like, you can tell when we've been recording, cause it's like the first three episodes, like, whoa, those are incredible. Calls. And then by the last one, it's like, um, my dog won't stop, um, chewing on the table leg. And I don't like when he does that.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, fuck Eldis. It was a good call though. Now.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Man.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  I have some really bad news for this guy.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  Cause what's going on here is grandma don't give a fuck about you. She's decided, mom, mom's decided, she worked for her fucking money. She's a fucking nurse or whatever with a pension for 20 years. She fucking raised these kids. She got them through fucking school. She's gonna buy herself some dick on the way out. This is, what's the big deal? Like, when a guy that, we are all very familiar with the trope of a hot gold digger on an old man. And he, his kids hate it, cause they want his stuff. But sometimes I see an old guy and he's buying pussy half his age.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, it's not, he, maybe he even knows it's not true love, but what does he care? He's going out, he's getting pussy on his way out. We're essentially finding, this guy sounds like the classic sort of dirtbag who like, you know. This is a Tennessee Williams.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Display, I believe.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Is it?

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Something, yeah, yeah, this is a classic.

• 4:26Stavros Halkias?

  This is a classic setup where it's like.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  I want to see like the Jack Efron movie.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  And dude, and we know guys like this. There are guys who who take advantage of like, there's guys who who fuck, you know, what was it? They were calling them hobo sexuals or whatever. Where it's like guys who are literally fucking for shelter. But I I know I have, you know, an old friend of mine. He would go from girlfriend to girlfriend. He was like a handsome guy with good dick. Had no skills whatsoever. And he would date rich women who just bought him stuff like a little, you know, they were, he was, he was a little trophy guy, right? And the thing is, met, and it's like, look, if this guy's fucking this old woman and she's cool with it. And she writes, she's already written two of her kids out of the will.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 5:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you're toast.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  I mean, I I I agree. It's like, if you can't convince her of anything, it's her, it's unfortunately her money. Now, I don't know how enforceable he can live there until he dies. Is legally, like, you can't just declare things like that in a will. Like, if you own the house.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  You should.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Sell the house, you get like, I don't, I've never heard of someone being like, well, I've been able to live here for forty years and no one, no one can take like. Cops can't even take me out of here because it's in someone's will, like wills aren't hot. I don't know, but it just, that's just seems like an unenforceable thing.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  You should talk to a lawyer about it, but it's also like. There in situ, situations like this.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  Imagining that guy's life, if he's like, even chooses to stay in that house and like, just a life happens around him, like in the same home. It's like a sitcom, dude, like they have children, like, and then there's Doug.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  See every time he comes on and said, hey, guys.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting. Is he the sole, is he the only person who lives there or do they?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  That's what I mean, like what?

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  If that, you're right, if they sell it, like, oh, and by the way, there's a guy who gets to live here forever, like, that's insane, you know?

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it might be.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  I want to know how old he is too. I wish we knew the age.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  True, true. How old he is in comparison, is it like?

• 6:32Speaker 02

  The other option is you kill him.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Forty and sixty, is it?

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:35Stavros Halkias?

  Is it like thirty and seventy? Like?

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 6:38Stavros Halkias?

  What, how old is this woman? Because they're talking about the will. So she can't, like even seventy feels a little like, this is the kind of shit you think about when it's like an eighty year old plus.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, like if she's still young enough, if she's in her sixties and this is going on, like, it might, it might, you know, just fix itself over time, but.

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  But I also do have a real problem with people where they're like, the, and the issue is, it pisses me off a little because he's like, now the real problem is the will.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, really? The real problem's not, this guy might break up with this woman and after he's drained all her resources. And it's like, she's like, this, like, you're not trying to talk some sense into your mother-in-law because it's like, she's potentially ruining your life. The real problem is that you don't get something you don't deserve either? Like, that's where, like, the fuck? What did you do for the, and maybe this is because my parents are poor, so I've never worried about a will, but it's like this entitlement of like, okay, like, you don't deserve what's in a will. That's a bonus.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:41Stavros Halkias?

  And, and this guy, this guy deserves a lot. He's eating a lot of old pussy and what are you doing? Going to Thanksgiving and listening to fucking boring stories? This guy's earned it more than you.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:52Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, if you, you need to shift your thinking to, I, I care about my mother-in-law, and the will, you're kind of fucked, bro. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. This is a classic, this is a classic situation.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  He's an adult, she's not, he hasn't gone, she hasn't like, she can take care of herself. Like, she's not like, you know, there's no way you can prove she's a harm to herself or anybody, like.

• 8:12Stavros Halkias?

  And she wants to do this, and it sucks, but.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, she wants to get a little dick on the way out.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  Get a little dick on the way.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  And then let him live in her house for the rest of his life.

• 8:19Stavros Halkias?

  The way you fix it is like, you know, find an older Lothario.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  I also think this guy will go away probably, like.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  He sounds pretty.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I would like to know.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Living with girlfriends.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to know a little more information.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  I don't know if he's gonna go away if he's written into the will. He sounds like a guy that's gonna

• 8:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  take that opportunity.

• 8:39Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to know more. I think we actually don't. This is great. We need the ages, we need to know how long they've been dating. We need to know what, what the mother-in-law's vibe is like. She said her step-daughters are out of the will. Who's her ex-husband, like, did he die? I guess she's a widow probably, it sounds like. But anyway, there's a lot we don't know, but in general, I think we've given you some pretty good, uh, pretty good advice here.