Ask Me Anything: Pivoting in Your 40s, Plastic Surgery, and Starting a Business With No Money

In today’s solo episode, Emma dives into real listener questions: the actual mechanics of building from nothing, starting a business with no capital, why having no money can be an advantage, plus more nuanced questions about navigating your career, handling tricky mentors, and knowing when to quit. She also gets into more personal reflections about her marriage, what her life looked like in her twenties, and what she does to look after herself. There’s a quick round at the end too, on everything from her favorite crisps to plastic surgery. In this episode you’ll learn: The type of business Emma would build if she were starting today How to think about fear when you’re making a decision What it takes to start again in your 40s The marketing rule that built Good American How to find your first customers before anyone knows you Her one rule for spending in year one The one thing she thinks every woman needs to stop doing If your question didn’t make it this time, hold onto it, because she’ll be doing this again. Follow Aspire so you don’t miss the next one, and sign up for the weekly newsletter at emmagrede.com.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:09Emma Grede?

  Welcome back to Aspire. So today is a little bit different. I asked you to send me your questions and you sent me a lot of questions, hundreds and hundreds, like literally 400 questions in the span of 24 hours. So this whole episode is me answering you. No guests, no scripts, just the things that you actually wanted to ask. And of course, I cannot wait to answer them. A lot of you are in the same place right now. And honestly, it's that you're trying to start something and you're trying to start again. Some of you are wondering if you left it too late. And I want to answer all of these questions in the way that I would answer any friend, honestly and truthfully and directly.

• 0:57Emma Grede?

  Here we go. Let's just get straight into it. Oh, this is a really good question. I'm good at making money but terrible at keeping it. What was the first thing you did to set yourself up financially after you started making real money? Well, I'm glad the question is after I started making real money because I was terrible as a young woman. I used to go out in the club. I would buy champagne when I did not have champagne money. I was absolutely terrible and I did have this amazing boyfriend. Amazing boyfriend. He wasn't that amazing, actually. I'm not going to give him that. I had a boyfriend who called me a squanderbird, which was such a nice nickname. And it tells you everything you needed to know about me at that time in my life. So I'm going to talk to you about what I learned later. For me, it all comes back to having a plan.

• 1:40Emma Grede?

  I am a girl that loves a plan. And financial planning for me was always the way that I managed to hold on to what it was that I made. And so if we're talking about in a personal context, it's really about understanding like what are your needs? Actually, what do you need to get through a month? What do you need to get through the year? What is your kind of rainy day money that you need? And having a really clear plan meant that I was able to absolutely map things out. Keep something by for a rainy day. In a business context, it's about really understanding where the money comes from. And so you will hear business people talk about margin all the time. But it's like, if you don't have good margins, you will never be good at making money.

• 2:25Emma Grede?

  And so you'll never be able to take any money out of the business at the end of the day. So I think that an easy answer to this question is understand your money, plan for your money, and be really clear about where the money is coming from, because otherwise you'll never get good at keeping it. Was there anything you cut from the book that you wish you kept in? Honestly, no. The bit that I wanted to cut from the book was the bit about the train. When I was, you know, embarrassingly angry and my publisher won that argument, so it's all in there. Two questions are going to go together because it's the easiest way to answer them. It's, I need the origin story. How did you and Jens actually meet? And what did your life look like back then before any of the brands?

• 3:09Emma Grede?

  And then where were you at twenty eight? So I have to rewind in my mind because that was quite a long time ago. So I actually met Jens when I was twenty four years old. And it came about through a friend who had said to me, you know, she's at this company. There were great things happening at the company and would I like to come over? And I was asked to come over as an employee. I had a job. I felt like I was grossly underpaid. And I decided that I should definitely, you know, think and look elsewhere. And on about my third interview for this particular company, Jens was the person that I had to get the final deal signed off. And, you know, I went into this company as an employee, really not thinking about starting my own thing.

• 3:54Emma Grede?

  But what really transpired quickly is that I was making them a lot of money. And after about four or five months, I sat down with Jens and pitched the idea of a totally separate entity. Having never started a business, but really being in an environment where there was just so much of an entrepreneurial spirit. I saw Jens, I saw his business partner Eric, I saw all of this kind of like brilliant opportunity around me and I decided. That actually I could turn what it was that I was doing, which was fashion and brand partnerships and sponsorships. That I could turn it into a business. And so I very naively pitched this business and, you know, the rest is history.

• 4:33Emma Grede?

  Now, when I think about what my life actually looked like then, it looks like probably any other twenty four year old. I'd get up every morning, get on the tube, go to work, do my best. There was definitely a spirit of entrepreneurialism in what I did because I was in a sales job. And so in those days, you know, and it would be the same now, you kind of eat what you kill. Meaning I was on commission and I had a salary, but there was no promise of anything bigger that I had to create. And I knew that if I was someone that could make this much money for the business, that I could probably make that much money for myself. And so my first business began as a division of a division of a division. And it was really unclear what I was creating, but I knew I needed ownership.

• 5:19Emma Grede?

  And I knew I needed to create it for myself. And I felt that I had something that was unique. I felt that my ability to sell and my ability to understand designers and creative people. And my connection with brands was something that I could actually make a lot of money out of. And so I did. So to answer this next part, life really changed dramatically for me between the ages of twenty four and twenty eight. So twenty four, I was an employee and by twenty eight, I'd really crafted this incredible business that was doing very, very, very well, all on its own. And I really understood that I would constantly need to increase my ownership, that I'd constantly need to pivot this business.

• 6:04Emma Grede?

  Meaning that I'd need to keep growing it, keep thinking about where it could go. And no one was doing that for me. That was, at that time, my main point of view was how can I just make this business the best and the biggest it could possibly be. And so I decided to start extending, extending into sponsorships and into licensing. I was watching what was happening around me and seeing that there were all of these tiny little agencies, maybe. With three people or six people. And because I was so profitable, I was able to use the profitability from that company and start buying and acquiring smaller agencies. And when I say small agencies, I'm talking like tiny little agencies. But it was really about the vision of boosting my own agency

• 6:48Emma Grede?

  and being able to offer additional services. So that when I went into a client, I wasn't just talking about brand partnerships. I could also bring sponsorships. I could also bring VIP dressing. I could also look at the licensing for some of these brands. And so I really built a one stop shop as it pertained to brand partnerships. And it was what would be the next part of my journey. So the last thing that I actually want to say on that is, you know, I've been hearing a lot of noise around my husband and marrying somebody for money, which really, really drives me crazy. Because when I met my husband, he was twenty nine years old, not rich, because he's totally self made, didn't come from a wealthy family.

• 7:34Emma Grede?

  What I love so much online is that we talk a lot about women marrying well and we never ever talk about the man marrying well. And I actually think that both of us married quite well. And I wonder if that could even be a concept that we could come to. We both created our life and we created a career and we absolutely use what it is that each other have. But to say I married a rich man is not just like completely inaccurate. It's just wrong. It's just completely wrong. It isn't the story. It didn't happen and I'm putting it out there for the record because it really, really pisses me off. Okay, moving on. Next question, please. How do you start again if you're feeling stuck in your forties?

• 8:17Emma Grede?

  I'm forty two, want a career pivot and I'm navigating it as a mum. Is it too late? My goodness, I love this question so much. So the first thing I want to say is that you have to stop telling yourself that you're behind or that you're late. Because one of the biggest lies that women tell themselves is that there's some magical timeline that we're supposed to be following.

• 8:40Emma Grede?

  Just isn't. If I'm really, really honest, I have been working since such a young age, but I feel like I'm just getting good. And I feel like my best is yet to come. And if I'm really honest, at forty, you need to know that you have something that actually a twenty two year old or someone so much earlier in their career just doesn't have, because you've got experience, you've got some judgment. Hopefully you have some relationships that you've made throughout your career and you should be more resilient. You should have a much better understanding of who you are and what you bring into a situation.

• 9:19Emma Grede?

  And so for me, when I start thinking about the ideal time to start something, to make a career pivot, to think about what it is that you should be doing, it would come at a time when you're much less likely to make big mistakes, when you have a better understanding of what you're uniquely going to bring to a situation. The issue that we're actually talking about here isn't age at all. The issue is about fear. So really, we should talk about that. I need you to name it and to get honest about it. Because what I think you are talking about when you talk about not knowing where to go is actually just fear. Fear of getting something wrong, fear of taking a big misstep, fear of,

• 10:04Emma Grede?

  you know, people talking about you or fear of what you might lose out on. And that is fair enough and it's very real, but I think that you have to think about fear a little bit differently. I wrote about it so much in my book, Start With Yourself, but there is actually a process that you can follow and there's a way that you should think about fear. You should think about fear as a signal. A signal that you're going in the right direction, that something is right, because if you're not a little bit scared, then it probably doesn't matter. The first thing that you actually have to do is stop thinking about everything as so finite, because the reality is when we're doing something difficult, you have to figure it out and it comes to you not all at once, it comes to you.

• 10:50Emma Grede?

  Stages, it comes to you in pieces. You have to stop looking into the future and saying, I need to figure out the next twenty years. All you need to do is figure out the next step. Look at it and say, I'm gonna figure out my next twelve months. I'm gonna have like a little bite sized chunk. And when I get to the end of that twelve months, I am going to figure out what the next twelve months looks like. The next thing I would say you should do is really think about this idea of what I call like a pivot audit. So it's asking yourself a bunch of questions that are gonna allow you to get to the truth of where you are and what you should be doing. If you sit down and you're really thoughtful about what it is that you actually want, you're gonna avoid any of the missteps.

• 11:34Emma Grede?

  So you think about what gives you energy, you think about what drains you. What are the things that you have in your life currently and in your work currently that actually really aren't good for you? What are the things that you're naturally good at? What do people consistently come to you for? What are the parts of, you know, your current life that you actually want to keep? And what parts absolutely have to change? Because when we get honest with ourselves, something amazing happens. We start to see things so much more clearly. The third thing is that you should never quit before you've done a little bit of experimentation. People think that a pivot happens overnight, but the truth is it happens in stages. It happens slowly.

• 12:17Emma Grede?

  And so you've got to have a little bit of patience because most successful pivots, they happen almost like in this parallel way. First of all, you have to think about something and conceive that you should be doing something different. You might volunteer a little bit around it, you might consult, you might take a class, you might start a little side hustle. The idea is that you actually test a little bit before you take a big leap. Now, something I wanna get honest about is that honestly, I had so many shit ideas before I had a good one. So I thought of a million different businesses. I actually thought of some of the businesses that I'm in today, but they wouldn't have worked out in the same way. The idea is that I just tried a lot of stuff.

• 13:02Emma Grede?

  I really tried to. Set up a way in my mind of just testing things out and seeing if it's stuck. I would have a lot of conversations that would just go nowhere. The point is, I was never afraid of making myself look stupid or of making a wrong step, because honestly, that's the only way that you're gonna learn. You just have to get out of your own way. The fourth thing is that you've got to get comfortable with being a beginner again. Because if you think that you can go in at the same level and the same stage that you are now, you're just kidding yourself. People stay miserable because they are attached to being accomplished.

• 13:42Emma Grede?

  Because they actually don't understand that what they need to do is start again in so many different ways. And so first of all, you have to get really honest with yourself about the expectations. Sometimes growth actually requires being really bad at something for a while. And then finally, I want you to remember this. Remember, you are not starting over. You're starting from experience and there is a huge difference. You are not starting from scratch. You're starting from a place of some wisdom and it's completely fine.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Do you ever wish you could ask nosey questions about people's money?

• 14:20Speaker 02

  I have seven hundred and twenty nine dollars and seventy one cents in my bank account.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  We bought, you know, a one point three million dollar house on a three hundred and fifty thousand dollar income.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  On the podcast, What We Spend, we ask those questions. It's a show about money and all the feelings that come with spending it.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  I want to be the kind of person who can just take care of the people in my life.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Listen to What We Spend, an Odyssey original, available now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 14:52Emma Grede?

  Okay, next question. Oh, this is a good one. I love this. Okay, if I was starting a business today, what would it be? Okay, this is one that I get asked so much. The truth is, I definitely am not going to start another business right now, but that's a different conversation. Okay, I honestly don't think about this in the sense that, you know, I'm going to start a business. Start with a problem because a big mistake that people make is what is a great business to start? The better question, the more profound question, the question that's going to lead you to your customer is what problem do I understand deeply enough to solve? Meaning, what do you care about? And what is your current experience chalking you up to be really successful at?

• 15:37Emma Grede?

  Every successful company I've ever built came from being obsessed with a customer problem. If, for example, and we go back to the idea in the days of Good American, women couldn't find jeans that fit their bodies properly. The opportunity was actually hiding inside that frustration. And I knew that because every time I would have a conversation with a woman about it, it wouldn't just be a one word answer. It wouldn't be, oh, yeah, that could be nice. Maybe I try it. People had stories. They had like deeply held beliefs. They were mad. They were frustrated. And they had a million examples of everything that didn't work for them. So when you start thinking and talking to people about what it is that you might do next,

• 16:19Emma Grede?

  look for that signal. Look for something that is deeply frustrating people. Now, if I was starting from scratch today, I would actually look at where technology is creating a massive change, but where the human needs remain exactly the same. Because this is going to future proof your business. This means that you're going to create something that regardless of where we are in the world, people are going to still need. People will always want to save time. They will always want to make money. They're going to want to look better. They're going to want to feel healthier. They're going to want to find love. They're going to want to raise great children. So if you start something in those spaces, you will create something where there is a real need. At the end of the day, I sometimes like

• 17:02Emma Grede?

  can't bear that I'm not in like a more kind of technically advanced AI driven business. But the truth is, people are always going to need jeans and knickers. So it's kind of future proof. Now, the thing that I would never do is chase trends. I would never chase trends. I don't chase the things that I think are happening over there, but I'm not part of it. I would never chase like unmet needs. The best businesses don't begin with an entrepreneur wanting a company. They begin with a customer wanting a solution. So you don't start with a business idea. You actually start with a customer problem. All right, my next question. How do you start a business with limited capital, step by step?

• 17:45Emma Grede?

  I actually think having no money can be a huge advantage. Because the way you make decisions when you have money is fundamentally different to how you make decisions when you have no money. So it doesn't matter where I go around this country. I get this question every single time. And I think it's a common misconception when people talk about going out and raising money. And more specifically, when I have spoken about going out and raising money. That was never the starting point. The starting point has always been around reputation, relationships, having the leverage based on experience to do something great. You don't start with capital.

• 18:26Emma Grede?

  Capital is something that you do once you've got a proof of concept and once you're actually tracking. And that is what I've done every single time. Nothing ever started with, oh, I have an idea on paper, let me go out and raise the money. The issue is that when people have capital, they often use that money just to solve a problem that could be solved with creativity. They actually hire before they should hire and they don't necessarily hire what the business needs. They spend before they should spend. So when you have no money, something absolutely magical happens because you're actually forced to answer the only question that matters in a business. Which is, will someone pay for this?

• 19:10Emma Grede?

  That is exactly where I would start. All right, so now let's break this down step by step. Step one, you've got to sell before you build. Now, what I mean by that is the most important problem that a business will ever solve is finding the customer. Remember what Mark Cuban said, sales cures all. Can you get a customer? Can you get somebody to part with their precious cash for whatever it is that you're selling? Can you get ten customers? Can you get anyone to want to actually be interested in this? Now, too many people spend so long writing business plans and playing out scenarios and creating a logo and then finessing a Website for a business that nobody wants.

• 19:53Emma Grede?

  I would rather see you get one paying customer this week than spend any time creating all of the ancillary pieces around a business. Just find a customer. Step two, become indispensable yourself. Now, when you don't have money, your competitive advantage is effort. That's it, just sheer effort. How much work are you willing to do? How many calls are you willing to make? How many emails will you send? You have to deliver the orders, you might have to pack the boxes, you're gonna have to play three different roles at once. All of those things are pivotal. You have to make yourself indispensable in the beginning of any business. I've never seen it work any other way.

• 20:36Emma Grede?

  Step three, you really will need to reinvest every dollar. And that's why I tell people, really think carefully about what it is that you're doing and whether or not the timing around leaving whatever it is that is your security, your current job, is right. People often decide, I'm gonna do something else and I'm gonna plow myself a hundred percent into that. The truth is, and what it looks like more realistically, is that you probably need to do two things at once. You probably need to keep your job for a period of time and work in the evenings and work on the weekends. And when I talk about reinvesting every dollar, you have to think about the goal not being to just look successful. The goal is to become successful.

• 21:19Emma Grede?

  So many entrepreneurs spend money trying to look so much bigger than they are. You know what looks good? It looks good when something starts tracking and you have your other job there and you make the right decision about the timing. The smartest entrepreneurs actually spend money becoming better than they are. Now, the first version of a business really should be embarrassingly simple. The first investment in your business isn't money at all, it's proof, it's proof of concept. So make sure that you've got that dialed in before you leave any sense of security and certainly before you leave a job. I'm in year one and I don't know how to spend my money. Production, marketing, something else, how should I split it? Okay, so I love this question because it Is one that so many entrepreneurs face.

• 22:03Emma Grede?

  And I have a really simple way to think about it because you can so easily get distracted. This is the rule. If the customer doesn't see it, don't spend the money. Because what happens is we think, oh, I need a better office space. My staff needs something. There's a system to invest in. Only spend your money in year one in something that the customer experiences. Period. End of. Next question. What systems do you put in place early that most founders overlook? I mean, this is a really interesting question because when I think about systems, I think about technology. But really, the things I think are fundamental is how much you know and how much you actually understand.

• 22:47Emma Grede?

  When you're starting a business, to think about what it is that you do uniquely well is really important. But you need to understand everything, especially the numbers. You've heard it before, but it really is important, not just to understand what's going in and what's going out. But the patterns in your business, how everything links together and what it means at the end of the year. So rather than systems, I want you to think about it as visibility. The most important thing that you need early in a business that gets overlooked is full visibility. Across every piece of the business, soup to nuts, no excuses. You have to know because if you don't know, when people come in, you can't tell who's doing a great job.

• 23:29Emma Grede?

  Who's actually having impact, where, you know, you need to double down. You have to understand the fundamentals of your business. That's going to save you a lot of heartache. All right. When building a new business, how do you find your first customers before anyone knows who you are? This is a really good question, and I think that.

• 23:53Emma Grede?

  The most interesting thing to think about now is that we have technology on our side. And so I actually think that customers find you. And so what you have to do is be really clear about what it is that you're offering. Because when you start to talk about a service or a product, people will find it so long as you are speaking about it. They'll tell their friends, word of mouth will happen. And so you have to think really carefully about how am I setting you up to find me? How am I being so clear about what it is that I have to sell? How does this product stand out? And so creating a really, really clear, unique selling proposition, or creating a really clear reason why you exist in the market,

• 24:39Emma Grede?

  and then constantly and consistently saying that same thing over and over and over again. I'll give you an example. When we started Good American, we spoke consistently about three things. Recovery fabric, reinforced belt loops, and this idea that we had made this unbelievable size range. And for three years, we said nothing else. Because we knew that customers would understand those three things. And I think that what happens is that you get bored of your proposition. People think, I need something new, I need something new. You do not. You've got to get the three most important things and talk about them over and over and over again. And your customer will find you.

• 25:19Emma Grede?

  Is there a business decision you made or a deal you walked away from that you still think about? I mean, I have to be honest, I'm not exactly the type of girl that gets over things quickly. What would that actually be? You know, if I'm honest, I'd actually go back to early in my career. I think that I stayed in one place for too long. And I really wish that I had had the, it's not really so much about ambition. I think I was too fearful to leave what I knew and I needed too much certainty. And I think that a lot of people, specifically women, can really feel like that. I wish that I had just left earlier.

• 26:04Emma Grede?

  And so maybe a little signal for any of you that maybe need to leave. Just do it. Oh my god, I love this question so much. How do you deal with a mentor who's assigned to you, but all they've been is passive aggressive towards me?

• 26:22Emma Grede?

  I know this one only too well. So let me tell you what you need to do. You won't like it, just toughen up. Because here's the thing, if they're an actual decent mentor and you are learning things, and that's the thing to ask yourself, like, is this person actually a good mentor first and foremost? And if they are, just suck it up. Because the idea that everybody needs to be nice to you, or that it needs to be some kind of, you know, equal deal, or that it all should be wonderful, it's just not a reality. I have had so many times in my career where I have learned things from the worst people. And it's like, you're just gonna take what you need from that situation, talk under your breath and say what you need to say over here later in your own time and get on with it. Like, what are you gonna do?

• 27:06Emma Grede?

  Sometimes the best things in your life don't come in the prettiest packages. Deal with it. Sorry. Moving on. I'm doing all the right things at work, but I don't feel seen. How do I advocate for myself without sounding entitled? Alright, so the first thing you need to do is forget this whole without sounding entitled thing. Because it sounds like you're entitled. So that just might be how you sound. I think that we have to get rid of this relationship that asking for something is wrong. At the end of the day, you're allowed to ask for what it is that you need. And I don't think that you should worry about how you're seen. Now, the best way to advocate for yourself is to do it in a way

• 27:49Emma Grede?

  that feels right sized and reasonable. Because I think what happens is that sometimes people feel so disgruntled that they come with an ask that is just out of whack and unreasonable. So it's like, do the research, know what you're asking for, get really clear and sharp on that and just ask. Ask without even worrying what anybody thinks of you. Because that is just a really bad use of time and energy. The next thing. What is your advice for women who get weirdly annoyed by other women's success? How do you say this in a nice way? I don't understand that shit is the first thing that I want to say.

• 28:29Emma Grede?

  I think that I'm trying to be honest and go, is there ever a time when I have felt weirded out, upset, pissed off about another woman's success? No, there isn't because that is just not what I'm thinking about. I honestly think that you have to take a good look inside and understand what is it about that person that does something to you? And that is it. That's the signal. That's the thing that you need to listen to because if you are truly, really perturbed by what somebody else has got going on, you need to take a long look at yourself and what you're not doing.

• 29:11Emma Grede?

  And honestly, for me, like I am just cheering for every single woman, every single one, all the ones making money, all the ones making decisions, all the ones that are doing anything good. And I will be here doing the same. I suggest you haters out there do exactly that too. There was a wise woman actually who had some good words for this. Maybe I can't say this on the podcast, but you know that saying where they go happy hoes ain't hatin' and hatin' hoes ain't happy? Yeah, that one. Love that. Don't know who said it, but she must have been so smart.

• 29:50Speaker 05

  Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. Ever Google a money question and end up 12 tabs deep with 12 different answers? This podcast is your shortcut back to clarity. NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast breaks down financial decisions with a team of trusted journalists. They explain the why behind decisions like investing, home buying, and choosing credit cards with clear, research-backed insights. No jargon, no misinformation. Make your next financial move with confidence. Follow NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast on your favorite podcast app.

• 30:20Speaker 06

  Our presenting sponsor today is Anthropic, the team behind Claude. Anthropic is a research company first, built to make sure the transition to powerful AI goes well. When they launched Claude in 2023, its first users were businesses. Since then, it's been tested inside leading startups and enterprises. At DoorDash, a code migration that would have taken four engineers months to complete took one person three weeks. At Carvana, one team used to hunt through old tickets and code to answer a question. With Claude, they get answers 65% faster. And at Rakuten, engineers have achieved 99.9% accuracy on tough coding jobs using Claude. Today, nine Fortune 10 companies run on Claude

• 31:05Speaker 06

  for the work they want to get right. And these businesses are helping Anthropic shape what comes next. Build your business with support from Claude at claude.ai/odyssey.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  Hi, everyone. This is Kara Swisher.

• 31:18Speaker 07

  And I'm Scott Galloway.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  And we want to tell you about Pivot, our twice-weekly podcast.

• 31:22Speaker 07

  That's right, Kara. What a thrill. It's a chance for us to break down all the big things happening in tech, business, and politics.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Yes, and I keep you in check so people can make it through each episode, whether it's digging into constant changes in the world of AI and social media or trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Elon is doing. We're here to give you our take on all of that.

• 31:40Speaker 07

  Every Tuesday and Friday morning, we drop a new episode about some of the major stories of the moment.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  And Scott is a prediction machine gazing into his crystal ball to tell you about where it's all heading.

• 31:50Speaker 07

  That's right.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  So if that sounds like a good time for you, especially Mr. That's right, you can follow us on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes every week.

• 32:07Emma Grede?

  Moving to the next question. What's the best piece of mentorship advice you'd give to a young girl? I love this question. I love it so much, and I'm so glad that this came up. Okay, so if I could tell every young woman one thing, it would be this, obviously. It would be to start with yourself. That is the most important thing that I can say. The world is gonna spend so much time telling you what you should want and what you should be and how you should feel and how you should look and what success should mean to you. But your job, and honestly, I mean this, the most important job that you have is to actually decide for yourself and to build a relationship with your own judgment.

• 32:51Emma Grede?

  Because we all have it, we all have a conversation going on in our head that tells us like, you know, pipe down, be small, don't be too much. But it's like you have to have an excellent and amazing relationship with yourself. You have to learn to trust yourself, you have to learn to keep promises to yourself. You have to learn to sit with really difficult emotions instead of running away from them. Ask yourself questions and be kind to yourself in the same way that you would to a best friend. You have to understand that no one out there is actually coming to hand you confidence. It's never ever worked like that for me. Confidence is earned and it comes from doing difficult things and actually surviving them, getting through on the other side.

• 33:33Emma Grede?

  I think for so many young women, we are waiting to feel ready. We're waiting to feel something magical before we act. But the truth is, nobody ever feels ready because ready is just a decision. That's all it is. It's not a feeling, it's a decision. So the quicker you understand that, the better. You are gonna build confidence by moving before you're comfortable. And you actually build a sense of self-relief by keeping going after you have a setback. And if you wanna build a life that you just love, the only way you'll do it is by taking responsibility for it. That means that you have to do it yourself. Not because everything is your fault, but because your life is ultimately your responsibility.

• 34:16Emma Grede?

  And that's actually the most empowering thing that you could know in the world. The greatest investment you'll ever make isn't in a company, a degree or a career. It's in your relationship with yourself. That's what I'd love to tell all young girls. How do you really take care of your inner self? Do you see a therapist? Yes, yes, and yes, I love a therapist. I, anyone who's read my book will know that I started with anger management when I was really young, in my teens, like eighteen or nineteen. And I've always had a therapist, on or off. I actually love therapy. I don't have it consistently, like sometimes I'll switch and I'll have a bit of a coach.

• 34:57Emma Grede?

  And then, you know, I like to do different things, but I'm always really making sure that there is plenty of time I'm dedicating to looking after myself. And I kind of put all of those things in one bucket. If it's acupuncture, if it's craniopathy, if it's cupping, doing massages, having therapy, speaking to a coach. I am always looking after myself and thinking about ways that I can keep my stress levels down. I put meditation into that bucket, but I'm really militant about it. And of course, because I'm the start with yourself girl, it's all about me. And it goes very high on the list of things to do. Emma, I wonder how you feel, oh, this, this is a question, oh my god.

• 35:41Emma Grede?

  Emma, I wonder how you feel when people talk about your privilege and that your advice only works because of the access you have. Okay, let's talk about this one. First of all, the access. You create your access. I think that everybody knows where I came from. I didn't know no one. There was no contact, there was no no one in my family that could help me. I built my access, conversation by conversation, sales by sales, meeting by meeting, like company by company. I built the access that my life has afforded me. No one gave it to me. Even if people want to think, you know, she got it from her husband, she got it over here, she got it from business partners, no, no, no, no, no.

• 36:23Emma Grede?

  No, I got it from working my absolute arse off and having a job for forever. So that's the first thing. Then privilege, let's talk about privilege because I am very aware of my privilege. And I think when people talk about privilege, you have to come at it from the point of view of Whenever you start a sentence, you don't start by acknowledging all your privilege. That's just not how people speak. But do I know I have privilege? Absolutely. I have a white mum. I understand that. I have pretty privilege. Got it. Fine with it. It is what it is. What are you gonna do? Like, there's nothing I can do.

• 37:02Emma Grede?

  The one thing that gets on my fucking nerves is this idea that I married some rich guy. I didn't. I didn't marry a rich guy. I mean, maybe that would have been lovely. But it didn't happen. It isn't the truth. So I can deal with the truths. I just can't deal with the lies. So that's it. That's your answer. That's all you're getting. Have you ever had a friendship go completely sideways? Or have you dealt with a friendship breakup? And what did you do? Is this a sad one? Of course I have. The one that comes to mind immediately is I had a great friend when I was younger and I did the one thing that actually now I'm older, maybe you'd do differently, maybe I wouldn't do it differently.

• 37:44Emma Grede?

  But I told her that her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her. And I just was thinking about me and I would wanna know that information. And of course, she didn't wanna know that information. And as a result, we never rekindled our friendship. And I still think about it now. If I, if I was thinking about her and who she was, maybe I wouldn't have told her. And I think I was just thinking about who I was. I don't know that I would do anything differently, but I definitely regret not having the friendship. And maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. It's just not who I am. And plus, who likes a cheater? No one likes a cheater. I'm glad I told her. All right. Okay, so now I'm gonna move into some rapid fire.

• 38:29Emma Grede?

  I say this every time, I'm the worst at rapid fire, but I don't have a lot of minutes, so I'm just gonna see how I go. Here we go. Okay, your favourite crisp flavour. I love that we said crisps and not chips, but for the American audience, we're talking about chips. Um, there's a delicious flavour in England that is roast beef and mustard flavour. And that is my favourite flavour. I don't even know if you can get them anymore. And all the Americans are like, fuck is she talking about? But it's delicious, absolutely delicious. What perfume do you wear? I wear Chanel number twenty-two. It's like one of the limited edition ones and I love it. I use it every day. Um. The lip colour I've reached for the most. Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed

• 39:08Emma Grede?

  with lip balm and I use the Dior, um, what is it called? It's like the Dior lip tint zero zero one. It's the best thing ever. I love it. Your take on plastic surgery? Look at that. And have you had any? Okay, so my take on plastic surgery. I'm like each to their own. Do what you've got to do. If you want to have plastic surgery or you need plastic surgery, like, go for it. I'm very happy with the progress that we're seeing in plastic surgery, especially as I get older. I haven't had any plastic surgery, but I could and I would. Um, but I do have other things. I love, you know, I have botox and I recently did this thing on my face um called Soft Sculpt? Soft Sculpt? No, no, no, it's not. It's called Soft Wave. I did Soft Wave and Sculpture.

• 39:54Emma Grede?

  I'll let you know because apparently it takes three months to look amazing. And yeah, I'm fully here for whatever things can happen to my face. I'm extremely vain. My guilty pleasure is just food. Yeah, I love food and I love wine. And I probably have quite a lot of guilty pleasures, actually. Like, you know, I like to go out, I like to eat well, I like lots of indulgences, I like to like just sit down and be in my bed and watch like Sex in the City reruns. Is that a guilty pleasure? Do I have any other guilty pleasures? You know, the insane thing, like, I really like to like work, you know, like, I really like it when I just like get in to something really deeply and have to like spend a long time. Like, if I get on a flight,

• 40:39Emma Grede?

  I love to just write long emails to people, like, things that I've wanted to get off of my chest that all my staff are laughing because they've all received one of these emails off of me. Is that a guilty? I feel like that might be a guilty pleasure. Works for me, pleases me, as long as I'm happy.

• 40:56Emma Grede?

  Um, okay, the book that actually changed your life?

• 41:01Emma Grede?

  That is a great question. You know, when I was a kid, I read Cahill Guebran, The Prophet. And the reason I'm going to say that is because I had never read anything like that then. And it was like a gateway, like an opener to poetry and to a different type of writing. I was reading novels and, you know, whatever they gave you at school. Like, it was like Shakespeare and English literature and that stuff. And that was the first time that I had read something that I thought was deeply profound. And it made me like, look at poetry. And then I started reading Byron. And, you know, like just beautiful books that changed the way I felt. So that was probably my life changer. Favorite way I'm using AI right now.

• 41:45Emma Grede?

  You know, I'm experimenting in this idea of actually creating entire, like, new job specs. And I don't want to say people in AI, because there is no replacement for people. But it's like, are there places in my business where you actually don't need a whole person? You probably hire a consultant and that you can, in fact, program AI to create that piece of work for you. And so that's what I'm really trying to do right now. Especially in the smaller things, in the smaller companies. What is the one thing that women need to stop doing? This is an easy one. It's waiting for permission. Because when you wait for permission, it's like putting your life on pause.

• 42:29Emma Grede?

  People are waiting for permission to stop. They're waiting for permission to charge more. They're waiting for permission to speak up, to change their careers, to take up space, like for so many things. And the women that I know that build extraordinary lives, they are very rarely the most talented. They're actually just the ones that stop waiting. They stop, like, looking for somebody else to validate what it is that they already know. And so I think that I would love every woman to just forget the idea that they even need permission at all. That would be it. It works for me. All right, so that is the end of this glorious session of Ask Me Anything. I can't wait for the next one.

• 43:14Emma Grede?

  I actually find these a little bit painful, but that's all right. We'll keep doing them. You know, I can do hard things. That is thankfully all that we've got time for. And I am actually extremely grateful for everyone that sent the questions in. I actually think that reading them reminded me like, how many of you guys are right at the edge of starting something? And I hope that some of the answers that I gave would give you a little bit of a push. And if your question didn't make it today, please hold on to it because I am going to be forced into doing this again. Honestly, if anything stuck with you, just pick the one thing that you've been putting off and start it this week, not next year, this week. And I'll see you again next time.

• 44:01Emma Grede?

  If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click Follow on your favourite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend. We'll be so grateful. Aspire with Emma Grede is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Grede. Our executive producers are Ashley McShan, Derek Brown and me. Executive producers from Odyssey are Asha Saluja and Leah Reese Dennis. Producer KK Sublime. Stephen Key is our senior producer. Sound design and engineering by Bill Schultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Phil Sweetech and Carla Stelgardo. Social media by Olivia Homan, Catherine Bale.

• 44:43Emma Grede?

  Special thanks to Brittany Smith, Sydney Ford, my teams at The Lead Company and WME. Josefina Francis, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Meekle, Evan Cox, Kurt Courtney, Andrew Steele, Sean Cherry. And Lauren Vieira. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at aspirewithemmagreed. Grede is spelt G R E D E. That's aspire, A S P I R E, with Emma Grede. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emmagreed.me.