Popping Bottles w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. We're talking sneaking booze, vintage wine and calling your mom, it's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Harrys: Get Harry’s right now for just $6 at https://harrys.com/AYG Brunt: Get $10 Off @BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE Chubbies: Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code garbage at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, do you have a garbage question that the boys have to hear? Do you like stand-up comedy? You like having a night out with the boys, having a couple of pops? Come see an Are You Garbage live show.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got a second show added in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts. Low ticket alert. Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

• 0:24H. Foley?

  Big one.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  At the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto. Get your tickets now at areyougarbage.com and we'll see you on the road. Back on the block.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:52H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Amen.

• 0:58H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03H. Foley?

  But they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Garbage.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in a new addition. She's over in Pakistan.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:14H. Foley?

  Seeing the sights.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  I didn't know she had a passport.

• 1:16H. Foley?

  She does. Just got it. She high-tailed it over there.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20H. Foley?

  Says she's got a husband on the line.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:23H. Foley?

  Catfished some kid over there.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Poor bastard. Never saw it coming.

• 1:27H. Foley?

  He moving in with us in a couple of weeks.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:29H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode here at Toody's. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman and he's wasting away over here. How many pounds are you down?

• 1:43Speaker 01

  About 22, maybe, maybe 20.

• 1:47H. Foley?

  Big inspiration.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Been getting back into pizza a little bit.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  Have you?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:52H. Foley?

  I'm going back on the needle. I don't know if I told you.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:55H. Foley?

  Getting back in there. Scooping it in.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Ice cream, rocky road.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  They should make that stuff, like the way Atkins does it.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:06H. Foley?

  There should be like Ozempic bars, Ozempic salad dressing, you know, Ozempic dark chocolate cookies.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:13H. Foley?

  Cause that dark chocolate's good for you.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  That's how you, sure. I think it's good for like marathon runners.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  What?

• 2:20Speaker 01

  It's not good for you.

• 2:21H. Foley?

  Dark chocolate?

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Or me.

• 2:23H. Foley?

  No, it's got flavonoids in it.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Now, listen, flavonoids are not your problem. It's well documented, okay? If anything, you got too many flavonoids if I had to guess.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  I don't need flavonoids.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Cut you open right now, they'd all fall out of ya.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  I've been trying to shop-

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Can you introduce me?

• 2:36H. Foley?

  Kevin Ryan, I said it.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up, everybody?

• 2:40H. Foley?

  You didn't hear me say jerk off?

• 2:43Speaker 01

  And whatever, Fred Wurst.

• 2:47H. Foley?

  Fred Bratwurst.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, uh, first of all, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Uh, full video available on Spotify over there, cooking.

• 2:58H. Foley?

  We're in the goddamn charts over there, I keep saying it.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 3:01H. Foley?

  One forty something on all podcasts, United States, and the top fifty in the, in comedy.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Top fifty, dawg. Take that.

• 3:08H. Foley?

  Number, number two-

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Take that, one through forty-nine.

• 3:11H. Foley?

  Number two in fat podcasts.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Uh, and then the Back on the Block Tour, our fall and winter dates are announced. Shows are selling out. There's low-ticket alerts. Don't snooze, cause you're gonna lose. We can't add shows in all these markets, so get a water hockey.

• 3:25H. Foley?

  And if you're in the tri-state area, you catch a little preview at, down there in Atlantic City.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Atlantic City, we're doing one little, uh, one little pop-

• 3:31H. Foley?

  July.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, July at the Borgata.

• 3:34H. Foley?

  At the Borgata.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  That's-

• 3:36H. Foley?

  My Aunt Colleen was alive, she'd love that. She'd also get free tickets.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Sure. Where?

• 3:41H. Foley?

  At the Borgata.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  How? Nah, I put, I put it, I put it, I put a Knicks on it. That was, that was, that was a big contractual, uh, beef we had.

• 3:48H. Foley?

  What do you mean? There's, there's no, no comps?

• 3:50Speaker 01

  I think they got it. They, they want, they wanted to comp, like most of them. I said, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  I got people on the hook down there.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:58H. Foley?

  I already, I made some promises.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  No, we, we have, we have comps.

• 4:02H. Foley?

  Just, you know, I made some promises for the tour.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 4:06H. Foley?

  I've been trying to clean up some city spots I missed. Hey, next time we're in town, I got ya. Come back, me kippy.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you'd be, you would, you'd do, you'd do be doing that.

• 4:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up? This is Gary and Shelley.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  I got two fans that are coming backstage to meet us.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:22H. Foley?

  At the, at the Borgata.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Great.

• 4:24H. Foley?

  Yeah. And you're doing their christening.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  And they're gonna need a hundred bucks cash walking around while you play the tables.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  Listen.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:31H. Foley?

  I was in the store the other day.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Radio Shack.

• 4:36H. Foley?

  Are they still around?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 4:38H. Foley?

  That's sin.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  I mean, that's where I bought-

• 4:42H. Foley?

  They always have the shittiest RC cars. That's where you got crappy-

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were, it was more, yeah. That's where I bought my metal detector. Hundred and twenty-nine bucks.

• 4:50H. Foley?

  How'd that work out for you?

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Never worked. Never worked. Got sand in it.

• 4:54H. Foley?

  You got a piece of gold sitting over here, kid. Huh? All your troubles are solved.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  It's your wagon of my imploding star.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  Anywho, I was in the grocery store and I was looking at some yogurt. All right?

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:12H. Foley?

  Popular yogurt brand.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  I said, "Hey, why don't we get this to the bird?" She's like, "That's not how you pronounce it."

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Been there, my friend.

• 5:24H. Foley?

  Uh, our assistant, Luke.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  My little Vanna White over there.

• 5:33H. Foley?

  You should be wearing a dress.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Show me yogurt.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 5:38H. Foley?

  How do you pronounce that right there? Cause you're never gonna get it.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Uh, listen, I'm, I am guessing. I am proper guessing.

• 5:47H. Foley?

  Which when it comes to yogurt, that's, that, that's where you're going.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Is that the Cadillac? I'm not a yogurt man.

• 5:52H. Foley?

  I'm a Chobani man. I don't think I pronounce it like that.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  I'm a Gogurt.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  It's Chobani?

• 5:57H. Foley?

  You never got Gogurts?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  No. I don't like the texture and temperature of yogurt.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  But that was rich kid shit. That and the string cheese was rich kid shit.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  We didn't, we didn't mess with both.

• 6:07H. Foley?

  But they were good frozen. I know you got all that.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Big Gogurt household.

• 6:10H. Foley?

  Really?

• 6:11Speaker 03

  That, once you learn to throw them in the freezer, game over.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  Delicious. Did you get that on, you probably got that on the way to school.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  It, it, it was in fashion by the time I was around.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Also, you're jealous of a kid twenty-five years younger than you?

• 6:26H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  You got Gogurt? What?

• 6:29H. Foley?

  How do you pronounce that?

• 6:31Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna, listen, it's not how I think it is. I would say-

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Phage. Like is how my brain, that's how, like if I'm, I know that's not right, I'm not saying that.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  What are you getting, a haircut uptown?

• 6:42Speaker 01

  That's not my answer.

• 6:43H. Foley?

  Give me a phage.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  No, I would just go, well, page is P-A-G-E.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  That's European!

• 6:50Speaker 01

  I'm aware, let me work through my process.

• 6:53H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  It's not phage, but that's what, so.

• 6:58H. Foley?

  Phage out, Kippy. That could be a new cool word, like cap. Phage out, dog. Phage out.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:06H. Foley?

  That means move, but move thickly. That's what you do. That's 4%.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Thicker than a jar of peanut butter.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Um.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  What?

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Never saw that? That dude is getting arrested, they're in jail, reading the transcript, and he goes, "Did you say she was thicker than a bowl of peanut butter?" Somebody went, "Ain't nothin' like that." You've never seen that?

• 7:29H. Foley?

  But I like, I'm like, "You never saw that?"

• 7:32Speaker 01

  You know what I'm talking about.

• 7:33H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Um, might not be peanut butter, but something like that. Um.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  F, for the, for the audio, it's F-A-G-E.

• 7:43H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  That's gotta be a soft G, them Europeans like a soft G.

• 7:47H. Foley?

  They love a soft G.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  They love a soft G. Uh.

• 7:51H. Foley?

  I have one too, that's gonna blow your brains out.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  I would say, phage?

• 7:56H. Foley?

  Nope. You ready? Phage.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 8:01H. Foley?

  Yes it is!

• 8:02Speaker 01

  No?

• 8:03H. Foley?

  Yes it is! It's phage.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  I don't think.

• 8:06H. Foley?

  Phage yogurt!

• 8:07Speaker 01

  You can clean it up if you do. That doesn't feel right.

• 8:11H. Foley?

  It is!

• 8:11Speaker 03

  I always thought it was phage.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  Phage?

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  Fucking bring Kanye into this.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  It might be, phage makes more sense.

• 8:19H. Foley?

  Say it again?

• 8:20Speaker 03

  Phage yogurt.

• 8:21H. Foley?

  Phage yogurt. Phage. I think it's phage. No, you said phage.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Phage.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  No, you said phage.

• 8:29H. Foley?

  Phage sounds Asian, which I don't think it's that. Is it Greek?

• 8:34H. Foley?

  The Asians don't fuck with cheese, really, did they?

• 8:36Speaker 01

  I ain't never been there.

• 8:38H. Foley?

  What?

• 8:39Speaker 01

  What? It's never like an option on my General Sal, so I don't know.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  It's not, right? No cheese in Asia. They gotta have something.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  I would have such a big continent, I would assume. They gotta, they gotta get a little pecorino or something.

• 8:52H. Foley?

  There's no cheese at a Chinese restaurant, or, or Korean, or Filipino, or Thai.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Why you looking at me? You got, you Google this.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought, I pulled it up for you guys.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  No, I'm, I'm talking, get this. Faie.

• 9:05H. Foley?

  Faie. Yah!

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Faie, that says. F A dash Y, play it on YouTube. It says how to pronoun, how to, on the right.

• 9:17H. Foley?

  I tried to get the checkout girl to settle it, and she made me look like an idiot.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  They don't know.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, they do. They're in the business. What, are you running commercials for French TV?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Of yogurt. We are looking at how to pronounce.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  Who's this fucking guy?

• 9:34Speaker 04

  Faie.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Faie.

• 9:36H. Foley?

  Faie. So you're right.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:40H. Foley?

  What about BMW? You're never gonna get this.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  For what?

• 9:43H. Foley?

  What do you mean for what?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  How to pronounce it?

• 9:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  In, like, what it stands for?

• 9:49H. Foley?

  No, to pronounce BMW.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  BMWig.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  I'm married to a German, you bozo.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Whoa, that's an English car.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  BMW.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  It's not?

• 9:59Speaker 01

  No, it's German. BMWig. W is vig.

• 10:02H. Foley?

  What about the thing where, where weapons are stored?

• 10:05Speaker 01

  A cache.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  Damn. I thought it was cache.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  I got a little bit of cache. Maybe my AK-40.

• 10:12H. Foley?

  That's not the same word?

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I think they, it is, but no.

• 10:14H. Foley?

  If I, if I have cache, do I have cache?

• 10:17Speaker 01

  A ca, I mean, you know weapons cache from video games. That's...

• 10:21H. Foley?

  Oh, cache.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. A cache of weapons. A weapon, like, oh, you go to, like, that's what, that's where I learned it.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  I thought I was really gonna get you.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  You didn't think I'd, you've, of all, I mean, of all people that you know, I, I would know BMW. That's crazy.

• 10:38H. Foley?

  Alright, what about Caraco?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Caraco?

• 10:41H. Foley?

  Carucho.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  How to pronounce Carucho? I would say Carucho.

• 10:45H. Foley?

  Carusau. Oh, Caruso.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Curisal.

• 10:48H. Foley?

  Curisal?

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:49H. Foley?

  The director?

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Were you talking about the country?

• 10:53H. Foley?

  Oh, that's a country.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  An island, which I didn't know until my boy went down there one time with some, on like, with some scavats for a weekend. He goes, "I'm going to Curisal." I said, "What the hell is even that?"

• 11:04H. Foley?

  You know where I wanna go? Antigua. Antigual. Antigal. You know what I'm talking about? Luke, you know what I'm talking about? Antigua?

• 11:13Speaker 01

  You know where I wanna take you? Down to Kokomo. We can get there fast and then take it slow!

• 11:20H. Foley?

  Man, I remember when that shit hit.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  I was hard hearing that song. That was all about Boda.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  That's when Stamos started playing with them.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  I didn't like that. That was Uncle Jesse. You don't go double dipping.

• 11:31H. Foley?

  He's like, he's like an honorary fucking beach boy. He's got a lot of cash, too. I didn't realize that. He's got like 11 million dollar place out there in Hollywood.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, dude, he's on the, that was 1990 syndicated television. That was the biggest show in America. He's probably making, I mean, network, yeah, he's got tens of millions of dollars.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  Still a looker, too.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  Stamos. Alright, I got one more.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Treadmill.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  Treadmeal?

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Meals, I like meals!

• 12:06H. Foley?

  Uh, how do you pronounce the stuff that would, that would come on, uh, instead of rice, you get?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  What's it begin with? What do you mean, instead of rice, you get vegetables?

• 12:17H. Foley?

  No.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Where? What store?

• 12:19H. Foley?

  Uh, it would be a health food store. A healthy meal. Instead of rice?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Couscous?

• 12:24H. Foley?

  No. I don't fuck with that shit. Actually, I love Couscous. Remember, the first time I had it was at my buddy Seth's house. His dad was divorced and he was, he was, he was a spiritual guy.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Ah, I was gonna say, that's an odd divorced dad. My, listen, my dad was a divorced dad multiple times in his life. He ain't never thrown out a pan of Couscous.

• 12:42H. Foley?

  That was the first time I had swordfish.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  That's wild. What is this guy? Was he a swinger? Couscous and swordfish is a crazy divorced dad meal.

• 12:51H. Foley?

  I remember I went home and told my mom. She almost took me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Swordfish, that's too much mercury.

• 12:58H. Foley?

  Indeed. It tasted like chicken.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Swordfish.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  You ever had swordfish?

• 13:01Speaker 01

  I've had it, but not from a divorced dad as a kid.

• 13:06H. Foley?

  Yeah. It was a picnic he had. He had Couscous and swordfish.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Had a picnic? That's not a picnic. That is, that might, you might as well be fucking the Stanley Tucci program.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  Did you bring up Tucci? Fucking Tucci. Hey, Tucci, why don't you get off Italy's dick?

• 13:22Speaker 01

  Quinoa.

• 13:23H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's, I mean, dude, come on. We live in New York for a decade.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  But you're saying it wrong. It's quinoa.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Ayah. Quinoa, okay.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  No, there's an N in there. Quinoa.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Quinoa, okay.

• 13:40H. Foley?

  Well, this is.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  No, it's quinoa. No, it's quinoa.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  That's not how I have it.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  He's got it.

• 13:46H. Foley?

  He don't know what he's doing.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  Quinoa.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, quinoa. The hell do you know, you stupid robot? Let me see your tits.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Robot jugs. Show them now. Dump them out for the boys.

• 14:03H. Foley?

  I don't like those AI ladies.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Oh, this is the glass one.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Can you pronounce this one?

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 14:09H. Foley?

  What?

• 14:10Speaker 01

  It's H U A W E I. There's a good, this is a documentary.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  What is this?

• 14:14Speaker 01

  This is an auto glass manufacturer.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  It's a, no, it's a Chinese tech company.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I was way off.

• 14:19H. Foley?

  You got some money in that, don't you?

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Either way, I'm good. I'm not, I'm not gonna dis, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna disrespect our overlords.

• 14:26H. Foley?

  This guy's trying to shut down the grid over here.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you fucking crazy.

• 14:28H. Foley?

  Um, this is.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  They own something big, right?

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're huge.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  We should know. I mean, as big as they are.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Safe flight?

• 14:36Speaker 01

  What?

• 14:37H. Foley?

  He said it's auto.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Safe flight repair? You know, that's international? And the jingle's the same in Germany? Jean Boon Boom Doon, Jean Boon Boom Doon. I heard that when I was taking a shit one day. The hell? He got safe flight repair over here?

• 14:49H. Foley?

  I don't understand that at all.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 14:52H. Foley?

  That there's enough people getting their windshield broken that you need an onsite company. That's international. That's crazy. That's a lot of broken fucking windows.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  I've had a couple of broken windows.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  A little crack.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's what they fix the crack.

• 15:07H. Foley?

  You let it go till it starts running in the winter.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but then it doesn't pass inspection.

• 15:12H. Foley?

  My dad made it sound like that would shatter in all of our eyes.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Spider.

• 15:19H. Foley?

  Hawa'i.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Hawa'i? I have no idea. I wouldn't even know how to start.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Huawei.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Huawei?

• 15:28Speaker 01

  But the Asian language is completely different than what I know.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  That's like...

• 15:35H. Foley?

  I could maybe figure out like actually learn.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  I don't know. Is that A.S.U.S.?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a popular computer brand.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Asus? What country? What country of origin?

• 15:43H. Foley?

  Asus.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  I believe America.

• 15:46H. Foley?

  Asus.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Asus.

• 15:47H. Foley?

  Asus. Asus is pretty good. Look at Audi. It's Odie.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Odie?

• 15:54H. Foley?

  Odie.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Shit is Odie, son. Shit is Odie. Uh, yeah, a lot of the, uh...

• 16:05H. Foley?

  Burberry.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Oh, the fucking... I know some of the, uh, luxury brands just from rap songs.

• 16:15H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  I didn't realize Christian... Louboutin and Louis Vuitton. That's in...

• 16:19H. Foley?

  Wait, what? There's Louboutin? Louboutin.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  And Louis Vuitton.

• 16:24H. Foley?

  Louis Vuitton?

• 16:26Speaker 01

  But isn't that insane? There's two high-end things. Louboutin? If I was Louis, who came first? One of them.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  That's Louis Vuitton, I would assume.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  That'd be like if I was like, "I'm going by H. Schmoly now." I'd be, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

• 16:37H. Foley?

  Son of a bitch.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Hey, Sam Bag and Rat Bastard.

• 16:41H. Foley?

  Louis Vuitton's a person. He was a designer. Him and Issey L'Or.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:47H. Foley?

  Which you wouldn't know how to say that.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. I learned when I was in there. I bought my wife a purse when I was in Hawaii.

• 16:52H. Foley?

  You did?

• 16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, remember I walked in? I went in with Ryan drunk?

• 16:54H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Asked for the cheapest thing they had?

• 16:57H. Foley?

  What do the keychains look like?

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Um...

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:03H. Foley?

  Alright, we're stupid in multiple languages.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:05H. Foley?

  As Mr. Paul Rudd said.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Christian Loubetan didn't start until 1992.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  That seems like a bit of a ripoff.

• 17:10H. Foley?

  Yeah, who's that guy?

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Also, if you've never seen Russell Peters' bit on how Indian guys pronounce Louis Vuitton.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  I'm about to have Luke patch it in right now. It's, they go, "Luz is luz." Okay, luz is luz. He's so good. Shout out to that Russell Peters, buddy.

• 17:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, I love him. Kip, let's talk about Harry's, baby.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Shout out to Harry's.

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Let's talk about Harry's. You wanna hear a funny joke?

• 17:33Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 17:33H. Foley?

  What they're charging for razors.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  At these other spots.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Bozos.

• 17:38H. Foley?

  Well, I got a lot of nerve. When you go to Harry's, you get them on the cheap. Gang, and right now, you can get $10 trial set for just $6 at harrys.com/AYG. An exclusive offer for our good listeners.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, they got German-engineered blades made in their own factory that stay sharp longer. Customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2. Half of what you're paying for the other big brands. You can get a $5, I'm sorry, you get a 5-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and travel cover for just $6.

• 18:09H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  That's insane at harrys.com/AYG. They got other self-care products that meet the same quality standards as the razors. They got richly lathering skin softening body wash and scents like Redwood, Wildlands, and Stone. I'm a Stone man myself. Extra strength, high-quality, amazing-smelling deodorant for just $5. Plus hair and other grooming products that fit your unique look and needs, baby. And here's the turkey, as the big man has once said. Get the shaving products that always deliver. Get Harry's. Normally, their trial set is $10, but for right now, you can get it for $6 at harrys.com/AYG. That's our exclusive link. One more time, harrys.com/AYG. $6 trial set, do it.

• 18:54H. Foley?

  Kip, let's talk about Brunton.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Oh, Brunton.

• 18:56H. Foley?

  Listen, we got a lot of hardworking guys at that, a lot of blue collar fellas.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Lot of big boys, too.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? The comfort of Brunt is unbelievable. The durability of Brunt is unbelievable. A lot of times you think you gotta sacrifice comfortability for style, for look, for durability. You don't. Get Brunt, you get everything all mixed into one beautiful package. It's the best shoes you're ever gonna put on.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, Brunt's best-selling Maron work boot are not only built for the toughest job sites, they're built completely waterproof, whether it's rain, mud, standing water. Your feet stay dry, baby. And if you've ever been on a job site, you know that means a lot. If you're out there sludging around in the mud and the dirt and the snow and the sand, your feet, you lose your feet, you're done with everything else.

• 19:37H. Foley?

  I was usually at the lunch truck.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  From oily workshop floors to muddy farm fields and everywhere in between, the Maron 6-inch soft toe is built for workers across a variety of trades. Brunt knows they have the best boots on the planet, so they'll let you try any of their products on the job risk-free. All Brunt boots carry the names of real workers in the trade who test and inspire them. Right now, Brunt didn't just make a durable work boot, they reinvented comfort and the hardest workers out there. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt by using code GARBAGE at checkout. Just head to Bruntwear, Brunt, I'm sorry, head to BruntWorkwear.com and use the code GARBAGE and you're all set. Even better, Brunt lets you try. Brunt didn't just make a durable work boot, they reinvented comfort for the hardest workers out there.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt by using code GARBAGE at checkout. Just head to BruntWorkwear.com and use the code GARBAGE and you're all set. Even better, the good folks at Brunt let you try all their products on the job risk-free. After you purchase, they will ask you how you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them the boy sent ya. Thanks.

• 20:42H. Foley?

  But gang, that's either here nor there. Our stupidity aside, we're here for a little.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, now let's get to the educational part of the program.

• 20:52H. Foley?

  Today's episode is brought to you by Wowie. Last where?

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Wowiezel. Shout out to the fucking bacon cheddar cheese dog.

• 20:59H. Foley?

  Do you guys have any baccarat crystal at your house?

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Baccarat?

• 21:02H. Foley?

  Baccarock.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  No, we were Waterford. You get Waterford.

• 21:05H. Foley?

  Really?

• 21:06Speaker 01

  You get, I think, I think, um, my mom got Waterford crystal when they got ma- when she got married to my dad.

• 21:11H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 21:12Speaker 01

  They might as well bury that in the backyard, cause that was like, fucking... They might as well put that in Fort Knox.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  Probably all got shattered.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  That's no Waterford crystal! And the way they, the way she says, "Waterford." Waterford. Her shoulders, "The Waterford crystals."

• 21:25H. Foley?

  It's funny, cause I remember when we were, I think at our poorest...

• 21:32Speaker 01

  I don't think you guys are killing it now, but sure.

• 21:35H. Foley?

  But when I was a kid in Wilkes-Barre, we had like a whole separate, like we had a china cabinet with, with nice...

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Well, that's what people did back then. That meant, that was like, still...

• 21:47H. Foley?

  Somebody was coming over.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:49H. Foley?

  We had a dining room.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Get the good china.

• 21:51H. Foley?

  We haven't had a dining room since 1984. When was the last time we had a dining room?

• 21:56Speaker 01

  Bunch of couch eaters.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  Company over?

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Bunch of standers.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  Waterford, do you know the test to see if it's real crystal? This is a real dirtbag move. You bite it.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  How the fuck but I know that?

• 22:10H. Foley?

  You take, um, to know if it's crystal or glass, you put the glass on the table. Alright, you have some water in there, wine, beer.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Okay, Schlitz.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  I'm listening to the bites.

• 22:22H. Foley?

  Uh huh. Couple of Mary's, you know, Jerry's.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 22:25H. Foley?

  Then you wet your finger.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Does it make the noise or something?

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:30H. Foley?

  And if, if it makes a harmonic, that means it's real crystal.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  And that, that happens a lot, you do that a lot where you're dining.

• 22:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, just to test to see if it's real crystal.

• 22:41H. Foley?

  Chipotle doesn't use it.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Those are paper, I've come to... I thought they were glass.

• 22:48H. Foley?

  It's just a moan of the lady in the back asking, me asking for an extra portion of that honey barbecue chicken.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  I think I got a, I think I got, I got a piece of, we got a piece of crystal, or they were crystal... Champagne glasses, like two champagne flutes that my mom got us for, that was my, that was my wedding present. You know, which like, we got married and two weeks later pandemic hit and I was hard up, I was, you know, it was before the, the, it was, you know, before the rise and

• 23:16H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  The rise of AYG and man, if you didn't think the first thing I looked upon was that fucking, those two crystal things.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Type that in, whatever the brand wasn't Waterford, she didn't spring for the Waterford.

• 23:27H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  This was like Target level.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  There's another name that I'm, I can't remember that's crystal too.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Um, but I looked and I was, I could get like $22 for it.

• 23:39H. Foley?

  Really?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  To the point where I was like.

• 23:40H. Foley?

  I'll split that with you.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Swarkowski?

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Swarkowski's big. They do like the duck or something. They got like a swan.

• 23:48H. Foley?

  Yeah. They would, they had that at like fucking Earl's or what's it called?

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Earl's Dry Cleaner?

• 23:52H. Foley?

  No, uh, where's, where do you go?

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Earl's.

• 23:56H. Foley?

  No, he went to, he went to Jared.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Oh, he goes to Jared. It's like mall at this point, Swarkowski. I mean, that's where I don't sit, I mean, it's not like I'm going to Bloomies and checking that out. That, you see that at the Extra Valley.

• 24:08H. Foley?

  Would you ever buy jewelry at the mall? Those are all rip offs, right? Cause I remember I was trying to buy some earrings for the broad and this guy was trying to sell me two different kind of earrings for marked off and one was cracked. He's like, yeah, we just put a couple of diamonds.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Was it a kiosk?

• 24:22H. Foley?

  Nah, it was one of the corner Johns that the kids are always robbing, the smash and grabs.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know.

• 24:29H. Foley?

  It's like a tail.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  I mean, there's like a Zales, the Ja, like the big chains are in that, which I would assume that's fine. I don't think they're ripping. I don't think they're, you know. I mean, you can't be going to like

• 24:40Speaker 01

  the kiosks. Those guys are

• 24:44H. Foley?

  shifty.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  But that, that, when you said, uh, you got champagne glasses for your wedding, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but, uh, somebody gave us

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Matching, not gonna make the joke. Where did you, what did you think I was gonna say?

• 24:57H. Foley?

  I don't know. Matching butt plugs or something?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Still does.

• 25:00H. Foley?

  Something rude.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  You got both of them going?

• 25:03H. Foley?

  Hey. Um. Somebody gave us a bottle of, uh,

• 25:11H. Foley?

  Uh, Dom Perignon.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Really?

• 25:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 25:16H. Foley?

  Well, here's the thing.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Apple cider.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  The bird went away at some point. And I got into it.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Are you fucking kidding me? What year? Is it old or new?

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Two thousand twenty-one. But I had to order another one.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  How much is that? You're, do I mean, what are you, what are you coming off a bender? You're doing, you're, you're, you're popping a bottle of champagne? That's insane. That's like drinking cooking wine, dude. You're, you're nuts.

• 25:47H. Foley?

  All fucked up on Marsala.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  You, you don't have like Uber Eats will deliver you beers from seven.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  They delivered that to me.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Uber Eats delivered a bottle of Dom Perignon?

• 25:55H. Foley?

  For three hundred and fifty dollars.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  I mean, you are a fucking dirtbag.

• 26:00H. Foley?

  I had to make sure it was the same year, kept the same box. I was real smooth with it. Well, now she knows.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  My, uh, my stepdad, this is, uh, my stepdad had a bottle of Dom Perignon from like nineteen eighty something.

• 26:15H. Foley?

  Get his number on that.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  He bought it when he was driving race cars, when he was, you know, they were like, he had his own independent, uh, amateur, you know, weekend, uh, stock car driver. There's his helmet. And, uh, he bought that when they were gonna win a race and then they never won a race.

• 26:35H. Foley?

  You still open it.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  That's, well, so then.

• 26:37H. Foley?

  That's when you need it.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  So me and Vinny with the skinny found it.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  Oh, my God.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  And we were taking pictures. This is when Dom Peri, I mean, like, it was in every rap song. This, I didn't, that was, might as well been kryptonite, you know what I mean? We ain't never seen nothing like that. And we were looking through my, my parents. So this, this is a really good time for us to steal liquor from my house.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  My, my mom would only drink wine, right? That's all she drank, Nisi wine, Sutter Home, the pink Sutter Home.

• 27:07H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Uh, that then switched to Cavett. Now she does, she does the, the Pinot Grigio Cavett.

• 27:12H. Foley?

  Only comes in the Magnums. The big boys.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  You know, I, I'm assuming, I'm not a wine guy, but when you can buy it chilled at the store?

• 27:20H. Foley?

  No.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  That doesn't mean it's bad? I don't think it means it's good.

• 27:24H. Foley?

  No, it does.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  I mean, it's not good wine.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, it is.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Cabot?

• 27:28H. Foley?

  No, Cabot's bad wine.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  But there's, there's other wines that you can get at the store chilled. Like you get Santa Margarita Pinot, Pinot Grigio, which is about 20, 30 dollars a bottle.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Okay. I don't know anything. I just know when I'm walking into like a nice place and 99% of the inventory's not cold. And I'm going over to the one thing they, get it cold. They got it cold in the back.

• 27:51H. Foley?

  Next to the frozen burritos.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  I'm going in a walk-in. Um, but, uh, so there was a bunch of stuff left over from what my dad left. Right? Or just like stuff they had.

• 28:02H. Foley?

  Pants, ties.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Dusty ass, like bottles of Chambord and you know, that kind of like stuff that you would take the paint off the car.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  You know, they don't even make it anymore. A lot of Beef Eater.

• 28:12H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  Just like shit from the fucking 80s.

• 28:16H. Foley?

  Beef Eater, fuck you.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Um, and, um, we, uh, we, we fucking, so there was all that stuff that no one could touch. You weren't, I mean, that would, you would end up in the hospital if you drank that as a 15 year old. So we didn't touch that. Then some stuff would accumulate as we had a party, a bottle of kettle would be left over. My stepdad was just drinking beers at that point. He couldn't touch them. He had a fucking hard count on his. So, uh, but then he moved in and he moved all his stuff, like his just liquor cabinet. All also like, there was no way to track what was there and what wasn't.

• 28:53H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  It was the combining of two homes.

• 28:54H. Foley?

  Lost in the shuffle.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Ah, me and Vinny with the skinny.

• 28:57H. Foley?

  Like the pullout in Afghanistan.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're sitting there in a Humvee. Camouflage Humvee drinking Dom Perignon. Um, we would be up there like, what could you touch? And I found this bottle of Dom Perignon. We were fucking, you're taking pictures on.

• 29:12H. Foley?

  What year was it?

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Eighty something. It's probably still there.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  If it's 82.

• 29:16H. Foley?

  Hold on, hold on, hold on. Did you drink it?

• 29:19Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 29:20H. Foley?

  Oh, you fucking pussy.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  What? Okay. Have you ever met my stepdad? He didn't really like me to begin with. Let alone drinking the only thing that was standing between him and a NASCAR victory.

• 29:31H. Foley?

  He filled back up with Dr. Pepper.

• 29:34H. Foley?

  Probably went bad. Supposed to keep it on its side.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  That's old as shit, dude. You should have drank that when you bought it. 1982.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Eighty-two and eighty-five are the big years.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Really?

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Vintage years, yeah. So if you had a bottle from those two.

• 29:47H. Foley?

  Is that still there?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's the, how much you looking?

• 29:49H. Foley?

  Hold on.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Nineteen eighty-two is cheaper. Six fifty.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  The eighty-five is about a thousand.

• 29:57H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Now.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Should I call Denise?

• 30:02H. Foley?

  Let's see if it's still there. Yeah. Tell her to crack it open.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  Let me see. Alright, let's see.

• 30:12H. Foley?

  Tell her to knock that. I might be still be there. I don't know.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  Have her say Waterford Crystal too.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  I'm at Mary Poole's. Can I call you back?

• 30:28H. Foley?

  Where's she at?

• 30:29Speaker 01

  She always answers the phone like hunched up. Let me call you right back.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  She's somewhere.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  The hell you doing?

• 30:38Speaker 05

  Hello?

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 30:40Speaker 05

  Hey, how are?

• 30:41Speaker 01

  Good. You're, you're, we're recording the show. I have a question real quick.

• 30:45H. Foley?

  Hey Denise.

• 30:45Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  Henry says hello.

• 30:48Speaker 05

  Hi, hi, Henry.

• 30:50H. Foley?

  How are you?

• 30:51Speaker 05

  Good, how are you?

• 30:52H. Foley?

  I'm good, thank you.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  He's down twenty pounds.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Good.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  I'm lying, he's not.

• 30:58Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  What's the name of the crystal that you have?

• 31:04Speaker 05

  Waterford.

• 31:05H. Foley?

  Waterford.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Okay, and do you still have it?

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, yes, yes.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  How much you, what, you got that in a safe deposit box? How much you think that's cost?

• 31:16Speaker 05

  Oh, I, nobody wants it. You can't give it away.

• 31:19H. Foley?

  That's not true.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  That's a defolial ticket.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  And then, do you know if Joe's bottle of Dom Perignon is still at the house?

• 31:28Speaker 05

  It is. I was gonna just throw it away.

• 31:30H. Foley?

  What are you nuts?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  You crazy goat. We'll, we'll bring it up here. I'll put it on set.

• 31:36Speaker 05

  Wait, I got two, but it's so old and dusty.

• 31:40H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  That's good drinking.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  That's not like that swill you drink.

• 31:46H. Foley?

  Denise, do you know what years are on it?

• 31:49Speaker 05

  It's in the 80s.

• 31:52H. Foley?

  If it's an 85, we're rich.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Cause me and Vinny were gonna drink it one night. I don't think he would appreciate that.

• 31:59Speaker 05

  1980.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  1980.

• 32:03H. Foley?

  What do you got in an 80?

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Then where'd the other bottle come from?

• 32:08H. Foley?

  Five Hyundai?

• 32:09Speaker 01

  You said there was two bottles?

• 32:11Speaker 05

  Oh, well, maybe the other one isn't done. There's... This one is...

• 32:15Speaker 01

  What are you, working at the 40-40 club?

• 32:16H. Foley?

  It's a mum's.

• 32:17Speaker 05

  This one, I... Maybe I thought it was, and it's not.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  It's not. Yeah, 1980.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  I don't hear police sirens. Where the hell are you?

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Where are you? What, are the cops knocking on the door?

• 32:29Speaker 05

  The other one is a... Oh, I know. I'm in the garage. It's a product of Spain, the other one.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Dump that shit out. We ain't touching it.

• 32:40Speaker 05

  This Don...

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Don Quixote.

• 32:44H. Foley?

  Denise, that Dom Perignon's 500 bucks. Hang on to that.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  Oh, my God. I'm cleaning out the closet, cause I'm getting ready to move, and I just didn't know how to pop the cork to empty it.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  You're gonna empty it? Don't empty it. That's good news. I'm gonna... Save it. I'm gonna take it.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  Well, then come get it, because I have all this stuff.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  Alright, okay, here we go. Here we go. I got so much shit I gotta get through. Listen, we'll pop it when we hit a million YouTube subscribers. How about that? You can come up.

• 33:16H. Foley?

  2045.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  88 proof of something that has a pear in it. The glass bottle with a pear in it.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  There's a lot of wacky shit they got down there. It's like...

• 33:26H. Foley?

  You got any aftershock?

• 33:27Speaker 01

  It's like Cancun. The way they party. Alright, alright, I gotta go. I love you. I'll call you when I call you on my way home. Alright, love you. Bye.

• 33:35Speaker 05

  Bye.

• 33:36H. Foley?

  Uh, we had a...

• 33:38Speaker 01

  We gotta get it up on set.

• 33:39H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 33:41H. Foley?

  We had a similar thing with my dad. My dad had some special bottle of Captain, uh, Morgan's.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Dude, it's crazy.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  It was like Captain Morgan spiced vintage legendary something that we drank. He was so mad.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Dude, we had-

• 33:56H. Foley?

  He went to a Captain Morgan's place for like two weeks.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  We had, so my brother went to that private school, right? And he was friends-

• 34:05H. Foley?

  Probably happened to the other bottle of Dom Perignon, needed for tuition.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  He was friends with this Korean kid, right? Great, great kid, still friends, shout out, shout out Jin. And they, his parents came over my parents' house for dinner, which was like a meeting of-

• 34:21H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  I left the house, I was like, I cannot, I will throw up just out of anxiety watching my mom and stepdad hang out with a Korean couple.

• 34:31H. Foley?

  You ever seen Vietnam, huh?

• 34:33Speaker 01

  What? So, they start getting, so he brought a bottle of soju.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  So they get all fucked up, but he gave him a, he left a bottle, like, you know, as like a gift to my stepdad. And anybody that even stepped on our property, my stepdad go, "Got that from my Korean buddy, soju." Straight from the, like he thought it. Meanwhile, it was from the liquor store. He's talking like it's, like it was like hand, like they brought it over here on a cargo ship.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  Got it in the Far East.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I was spending my time over there. That was so funny.

• 35:08H. Foley?

  Dude, the first time I had soju was at a Korean barbecue place. And it was like soju and fucking, what are those little, uh, white things? Um, fuck, what are they called?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Vicodin.

• 35:20H. Foley?

  No. Luke, the little fruits.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Pears.

• 35:24H. Foley?

  No, they look like berries. Ly- lychee.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  With lychee, I think.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  Whatever it was. I had a headache for two weeks. That shit fucking wrecked me.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Tongue swelled up.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Was the Captain Morgan either the Jamaican rum?

• 35:42H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  That's 300 bucks a bottle now.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 35:46H. Foley?

  Now I know I was so... That could... Did they have it in the 80s?

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, 1980 Jamaican bottle, yeah.

• 35:51H. Foley?

  Wow, so it would have been maybe like 90, 91 that we got into that.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  What are you drinking?

• 35:57H. Foley?

  Me and Johnny Mitchell, brother. We got into that.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  You have a taste for the fine stuff, huh, big guy? I mean, you're the only guy who can go between that and turpentine. Switching back and forth.

• 36:06H. Foley?

  That and Canadian club.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  VO.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  I couldn't go near it.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  That was, uh, yeah.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  My parents went some... My parents went to New Hope or something like that for the day. I thought they were gonna be gone forever and we got all fucked up on a Sunday. And man, my brother came home and I was throwing up in the sink and he just started punching me in the stomach.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Your dad or your brother?

• 36:26H. Foley?

  My brother, cuz I was all fucked up. And I throw... Ah, man. Can't go near that shit. You ever been violently ill and getting fucking beat up at the same time? "What the fuck do you do?" and fucking brighten my kidneys. Hitting me. Good times.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  You're ruining my buzz, man.

• 36:47H. Foley?

  Hey, why don't you make yourself useful and start cutting some limes, huh?

• 36:51Speaker 01

  When you have a drink, take the edge off. You're wound a little too tight.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  He was so mad. I don't know why. Fuck his problem was. Had plenty for everybody.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  I, uh...

• 37:01H. Foley?

  Had puff pastries in the oven, too.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Go have past gourdesans in a minute. You fucking hold your britches.

• 37:08H. Foley?

  Fucking chicks here, dude.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Got your panties in a bunch. Trying to entertain over here. Uh, alright, let's get... Let's get to some goddamn questions. I don't even know how we got down that friggin' road right there. Um...

• 37:23H. Foley?

  Warford.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  Waterford. Um... Alright, this is pretty funny. This is from Paper or Plastic. "You ever hosted an event and the first thing you hit the crowd with is a 'Good Morning Vietnam'?" Thinking it's gonna kill. Dude, that's wild.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  You're at like a fundraiser for the elementary school. "Good Morning Vietnam!"

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Alrighty then.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  I respect this swing. That and a "Do not go in there." Woo wee!

• 37:59Speaker 01

  That's alright.

• 38:01H. Foley?

  Good morning Vietnam.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  How to alienate everybody?

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Somebody's awake.

• 38:09H. Foley?

  Kimpy, it's Chubby's season.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Oh chubby chubby.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  Gang, look fresh, look fly out there this summer with Chubbies. One of the best clothing brands out there. I mean, what are we doing?

• 38:19Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, dog.

• 38:20H. Foley?

  You're talking about comfort, you're talking about style, you're talking about price. You can't beat Chubbies, and I tell you what, all the kids love it too. In college, kids are a damn big pick in the Chubbies.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, the good folks over at Chubbies just re-upped us on some hot gear. New guy Luke was waiting by the front door like a puppy dog waiting for the mailman. He started, "This is my size, this is your size, how you doing?"

• 38:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, take it easy on the Chubbies hats, by the way.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  He gets all over, guys, it's fantastic, and I gotta tell you, with summer coming up, baby. We're in it, and listen, I'm gonna be down there in Wildwood in my Chubbies. I got the short shorts for going out at night, and I got the swim trunks for on a day when I'm swimming with my shirt on. How you doing? It's comfy, casual, they got it all, so don't wait, for a very limited time, shop Chubbies' biggest sale of the year for $45 shorts and up to $65 off select gear.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Hit up chubbyshorts.com and grab your favorite before they're gone, and let me tell you, they're gonna move quick. If you miss a sale, don't sweat it, use the exclusive code GARBAGE for 20% off. Support the show, let them know we sent ya, and when the survey asks, and get ready to turn some heads with Chubbies. Summer's here, dress like it in Chubbies, do it. Alright, this one's some peaches. When you watch a movie and there is an underwater swimming scene, are you holding your breath to see if it's believable? I mean, I definitely go into that right away, but I don't, I got about nine seconds, that's all I got.

• 39:46H. Foley?

  I don't like it. Drowning's one of my biggest fears. That, and catching on fire.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Those are two pretty big fears.

• 39:56H. Foley?

  I just found out yesterday, thresher sharks don't bite.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:00H. Foley?

  Cause they saw one up in, um, Nantucket. It was like an eight-foot thresher shark, it's got the long tail. They don't bite, though.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:08H. Foley?

  The two most aggressive sharks are great whites and tigers.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 40:13H. Foley?

  Which I have a kinship with the tiger shark. Cause Hawaii.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously.

• 40:19H. Foley?

  I feel like someday I'll have to battle a tiger shark.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Well, with that attitude, I think, you know, yeah, you send that out in the universe.

• 40:25H. Foley?

  As long as I'm in clear water and I can get down, I think I'm... I'd be able to control him.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Probably shit yourself, you'd kill him. That's what I would do, just shit in the water. Fucking fog it up.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Evil playing field, buddy.

• 40:39H. Foley?

  You're a Captain Morgan by any chance? I love the tiger shark, though. The way it looks.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Tiger.

• 40:45H. Foley?

  That's my shark, yeah, it's pretty sweet.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:47H. Foley?

  Very aggressive.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  That's your shark?

• 40:49H. Foley?

  That's my shark.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  You're 50 and you're going, "That's my shark."

• 40:51H. Foley?

  Tiger shark's my shark.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Okay. Just checking.

• 40:55H. Foley?

  Feel like-

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Priorities in line.

• 40:57H. Foley?

  If I could be face-to-face with a tiger shark and survive, I feel like that I'd be, that I'm being accepted into the universe in some way. I see that going down at some point, when I'm over there.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. I don't think that's gonna happen at the fucking Chili's Island Bar that you hang out in.

• 41:13H. Foley?

  At Duke's?

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  Shout out to Duke's, dog.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Shout out to Duke's, by the way.

• 41:16H. Foley?

  Hey, you know Duke's?

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, why are you yelling at me?

• 41:19H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  I think I picked up the tab at Duke's.

• 41:21H. Foley?

  No. Maybe?

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably. Uh...

• 41:26H. Foley?

  I had the mahi-mohe.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  You had your underwear on your head after a couple of beers, what are you talking about, fighting a tiger shark?

• 41:34H. Foley?

  I think I could, though.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you think you can do a lot of things, is what I think, that you think I can-

• 41:39H. Foley?

  I don't think I could fight it and win.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  No, you're not crazy.

• 41:43H. Foley?

  No.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:44H. Foley?

  But I think I could look it in the eye and put my hand on its nozzle and move it away.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  Nozzle?

• 41:49H. Foley?

  Nas, nose.

• 41:52H. Foley?

  His chin. Fucking stick-up. Pussy.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  All right, this one's from Honey Nut Scooter. "Is it garbage to inherit 400 issues of Playboy from your dead uncle? I've got every issue from 1980 to 2007, all in pristine condition. He kept them in a climate-controlled storage unit until he died in 2007. The man stays subscribed until the very end. He always thought they'd be worth something one day. Turns out, not so much. Hit me up if you want the Jerry Seinfeld October 93 issue."

• 42:23H. Foley?

  Oooh.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  That's a pretty good one.

• 42:26H. Foley?

  You know what's probably... Did you guys sound like I'm lying?

• 42:28Speaker 01

  We'll put that on the set.

• 42:29H. Foley?

  A Playboy?

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, why not?

• 42:31H. Foley?

  My parents would be mad.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  You got porn up there.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  Somebody gave me porn. I got porn up there.

• 42:37H. Foley?

  X-nay on the orange. Super Bowl 72.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Sure I'm talking about.

• 42:44H. Foley?

  I bet you the articles are good in those. They'd be fun to read.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Oh, an old-school one?

• 42:51H. Foley?

  I mean...

• 42:51Speaker 01

  That was the Penthouse. What did they... That was the Penthouse?

• 42:54H. Foley?

  Oh, the Penthouse Letters.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  The write-ins, yeah.

• 42:56H. Foley?

  No, I mean like Playboy did like actual articles. Like they'd do like a thing on Burt Reynolds or something like that.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Or did they point that to... Do you ever have a hard-on?

• 43:05H. Foley?

  That's good literature back then. They'd be fun to sit and read. We should get some mags for the bathroom.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 43:10H. Foley?

  Why?

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Why?

• 43:14H. Foley?

  Right? Shouldn't we?

• 43:15Speaker 01

  No, dude. Listen, you have glorified those bathrooms enough already. I am not touching anything. You're... You spend too much time in there. I don't know what you're doing.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  I'd be reading nice, good articles.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  It's like a goddamn slip and slide.

• 43:29H. Foley?

  I'd be reading articles from the 70s. Like a good op-ed piece on Buddy Hackett.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  You got that on your phone. I'm sure you can subscribe to Playboy.com.

• 43:35H. Foley?

  It's not the same. There's the feel.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  I hear you in there, listening to your AI voice videos, okay? About the tiger shark and their nozzles.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  All right, this one. $10 Homie, JR. $10 Homie never had one read. "Is it garbage if your 65-year-old dad got lost at the ballpark he's been going to for 15-plus years? He was on the sauce and took a walk to the smoking section to hit his e-cig. He bummed a couple hits off a funky cig that a fellow patron of the smoking section had and couldn't find his way back to our seats. My brother ended up finding him on the opposite end of the ballpark, top deck, sitting on the stairs."

• 44:18H. Foley?

  Dude, we've talked about this before.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Just gave up.

• 44:20H. Foley?

  We've talked about this before, but there is nothing better than getting an older dude, who's got a couple in him, fucking on some moon rocks that he's, that he thinks he's smoking like he's at Kent State or something like that.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Taking heavy bike hits.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  Holy...

• 44:35Speaker 01

  I do that with you. Yeah, that is, that happens all the time with you. Every ti- especially in LA. And you Ted, and I'll literally go, "Hey man, be careful now." You go, "I got it." You start coughing like a maniac and then freak out ensues.

• 44:51H. Foley?

  Hey, good pickings at a wedding.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  Sure, I get some of these, puking, turns green.

• 44:59H. Foley?

  Fucking ants screaming at ya. What's in that? Is that PCP?

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Now they're probably all on it now. A lot of them are doing the Eddies and stuff. A lot of them are do-

• 45:08H. Foley?

  They can't hang with that shit.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean more than they, more than they could in the 80s.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  True.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? They're a little more savvy.

• 45:17H. Foley?

  I wonder if all the drugs are stronger now. I'd imagine the white stuff is probably not as good as it was back then. Coming in straight. Down in Miami.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think it's a, probably a supply and demand issue if I had that, yes. Economics.

• 45:35H. Foley?

  I'll do some research.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Great, that's what we need. We'll fuck that tiger shark soon enough. Uh, alright, let's see here. This is a Foley a wreck, $10 homie, had two or three red. Um, ever put on, ever put wet swim trunks, ah, ever put wet swim trunks back on?

• 45:57H. Foley?

  Nightmare. Nightmare.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  I'm always a couple beers deep when I have to do that.

• 46:02H. Foley?

  Nightmare.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  And it sucks. My wiener gets all tight.

• 46:04H. Foley?

  Nightmare.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  It's just bad. Cause you're kinda cold already. It's just never good. You gotta get in that water real quick and loosen everything back up.

• 46:13H. Foley?

  Also, having to use the bathroom when you're swimming is awful.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:17H. Foley?

  That's a nightmare. Now you might as well go home.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  I don't disagree.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  Nightmare dude. Nightmare. You're getting back in the pool. Talking about tiger shark.

• 46:31H. Foley?

  Ain't no fighting that.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. Um, alright, this one's from Dr. Peter Venkman, $10 investor, never had one read.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Ghostbuster.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  "Is it garbage to wake up a few times a night and rip heaters? I'm jammed up over here. Every time I stare in the night, I have to smoke one before I go back to bed." That's...

• 46:52H. Foley?

  That's fucking up your sleep pattern.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  I think there's bigger, there's bigger things fucking up your sleep pattern.

• 46:58H. Foley?

  Not that nicotine withdraws waking you up.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Nah, I don't know. That, you're fighting bigger demons.

• 47:02H. Foley?

  You know, likes a heater in the middle of the night.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Patty?

• 47:05H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:06H. Foley?

  Yeah. If something's stirring, or she, if I'm home and she comes down, "What are you doing in the fridge?" She'll come down.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Like a bear. Got all the food wrapped up in a bear bag, hanging from the, hanging, hanging from the railing.

• 47:22H. Foley?

  Uh, keeps thinking, I don't open the lock. Yeah, she come down and have a heater.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  But that's like normal waking hours.

• 47:30H. Foley?

  No, this is like, I'm saying if like-

• 47:31Speaker 01

  So you're eating in the middle of the night. That's what, that's, that's what I'm deducing here.

• 47:35H. Foley?

  If she's, if, you know, if the dog start barking or something like that, she comes down, she's having a heater.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  But you're up.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  I'm up.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Ah, hit me up. Patty, hit me.

• 47:44H. Foley?

  Come down and hang. Which I haven't done in so long, to be honest with you.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 47:48H. Foley?

  I haven't been down there, like that. I haven't like stayed over like that and hung out with her.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Oh, you should do that.

• 47:55H. Foley?

  I, I know. There's just something different about it now. I don't know what it is. Like the fact that I'm almost 50, I feel weird sleeping in my old bed.

• 48:04H. Foley?

  I try to get her up here, get a hotel or something like that. She don't want, she got the dogs, she don't want to leave.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Come up here, fucking get something to eat. Hang out.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:16H. Foley?

  What are you gonna do?

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Maybe you go down there. Your elderly mom with two dogs, help her out.

• 48:20H. Foley?

  I do help her out.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  I knew you were gonna yell at me. Exactly though.

• 48:24H. Foley?

  I do do that. Paying the mortgage.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  No, you're not. No, I'm not. I don't even think you're paying your rent.

• 48:29H. Foley?

  Hey.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  Um, I, uh, yeah, okay. Alright, um, let's see here, uh...

• 48:39H. Foley?

  What if she's having those heaters in bed?

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Oh, that's what I wanted to say. I grew up with heavy smokers.

• 48:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Mom, not so much.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  At a point going through the divorce, she met Joe, he was smoking, she was cool girl smoking.

• 48:52H. Foley?

  Really?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I called her a couple of parties, cool girl, Marlboro Lights smoking. She was a, yeah, she's a tight girl, but mid 30s. It was fucking, I see pictures, I'm like, you were fucking, talk about the niece of the peace. Hot broad. She doing aerobics and stuff? Uh, she'd be catching the heaters.

• 49:13H. Foley?

  That Thai master was no joke.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  I used to try that too. Couldn't get it, my legs were never, my legs weren't watching. I would snap back at you.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Did you ever have one of those, those things? They were big in the 80s.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, from Goonies.

• 49:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  My dad was always, just get a racquetball, a racquetball will do it.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  That's true though.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  They do it in jail, I think that's where he learned it. Uh, they, uh, my buddy's mom, we slept over at his house religiously. She'd wa, she would wake up and we would track her, cause that was the house where we could do whatever. Not, they didn't know we were doing whatever, but we, we knew the, the, we knew the, you know, if we were inmates, we knew the, the motions of the, of the guards. Yeah, so we knew all that stuff. We could sneak out, have our heaters, steal some beers, sneak beers in, whatever, you know, download porn, whatever, whatever the hell we were doing. And, uh, she would come down, man, just sit at the table, it'd be 2, 3, 4 in the morning,

• 50:16Speaker 01

  just cranking them, inside at the kitchen table, just, and you would, all the lights would be, she wouldn't turn the lights on, she was a tiny little girl.

• 50:25H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Dude, so we'd be, I'd be like, I'd wake, sometimes if I was just peeing, I'd wake up to take a piss and you'd just see the fucking cherry light up, Jesus fucking Christ, like a sniper's about to get you.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Looking for something tubby?

• 50:38Speaker 01

  I'm hard going through the pantry.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:42H. Foley?

  That's fucked up.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Just like, I mean, my mom, my dad never, my stepdad never, my stepmom never.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  But that woman would get up. And just rip a heater. Hundos. Marlboro Light hundos.

• 50:56H. Foley?

  Jesus. Been on it for forty-five minutes.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Fucking cramping my style here.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 51:07Speaker 01

  This one's from Foley Torque, ten dollar consigliere. Is it garbage if your elementary school didn't have a cafeteria? So you just ate lunch in the classroom?

• 51:15H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Pretty tough to listen to some old bat teach algebra when it smells like salami and chocolate milk.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 51:24H. Foley?

  We had snack time, fourth, fourth, fifth grade. I think fourth grade was the last time we had snack time.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  That sounds about, third or fourth was for us. Maybe fourth we had it.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  What was that all about?

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Need your brain food.

• 51:35H. Foley?

  Think so?

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Nah, I think he probably just broke it. Yeah, give you a little something, break it up.

• 51:40H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Let the teacher fucking lean out the window, catch a heater.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  There was nothing, uh...

• 51:46H. Foley?

  I remember Ms. Cooper called me out for something one time.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Eating other people's snacks? What were you doing?

• 51:51H. Foley?

  And I was eating, uh, for a while, hostess had these, uh, pies. And they were, they looked like an empanada, a big empanada. And it was vanilla pudding in the middle and chocolate on the outside.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  And I broke one of those out at snack time. And I remember her in front of everybody, she's like, "Ooh, that's not a snack, that's a lunch."

• 52:11H. Foley?

  That's what she said to me.

• 52:14H. Foley?

  Bitch.

• 52:16H. Foley?

  I had her fired the next day.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  Shit my pants and broke them.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  Could teachers smoke in the classroom?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  No. What do you think he's... I think probably when you were a kid in the break room, they could, the teacher's lounge.

• 52:28H. Foley?

  Everybody gather around and have your asbestos. No, in the lounge, for sure.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  That was, I don't remember that, but I remember people, like, your, like, people older than me? Going, you would walk by and you could smell it coming out.

• 52:40H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah. It was our teachers, our, where our teachers ate in middle school was, um... Off the cafeteria. So like, when you walked up to the line of the cafeteria, to the right was their room. And I remember getting up, you'd walk by and be like, "God, dude," it was like, it was like a bar in there. Fucking people just sitting in there. It was always fascinating to look in there. And see him in there, getting loose.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  I always remember it'd be like weird seeing like Mr. Jenkins talking to Mrs. Roman or whatever. Like, what the fuck? Those two know each other? God damn, I better fucking, I better fly straight.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  How long's this been going on?

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Those two are fucking.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  You got white, you got husband and kids at home?

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Fucking cahoots talking shit, fucking setting me up.

• 53:26H. Foley?

  His ass really smells.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Motherfucker.

• 53:33H. Foley?

  Ah, that's a tough look, man. Eating, eating, eating lunch and dude, not being able to go anywhere? You get to walk down to the cafeteria, the bullshit and all that stuff. Stuck in class?

• 53:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:44H. Foley?

  Fuck that. Fucked, I would have lost it. I'd need my cafeteria time.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Cafeterias, I get nauseous thinking about it and it was the, it was the gym was in the same one, man, man. The dishwasher, you would eat right now. You know how that commercial dishwasher just starts? It's sitting green beans, it's all mush stuff at the bottom.

• 54:06H. Foley?

  What the hell kind of operation? Wasn't that in the back? What'd you have, an open kitchen plan?

• 54:10Speaker 01

  It was emeralga.

• 54:12H. Foley?

  Thomas Keller, whatever his name is? Is that his name? Thomas Keller?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Guy Fieri.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Talking about rolling into Flavortown.

• 54:22H. Foley?

  Beer can chicken for lunch?

• 54:24Speaker 01

  Thomas Keller.

• 54:25H. Foley?

  Thomas Keller, famous chef.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  And restaurateur.

• 54:28H. Foley?

  Yes, I believe he owned that vegan place that was across the street from, uh, New York Comedy Club on Fourth Street.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  Oh, it closed eight years ago?

• 54:36H. Foley?

  The place that I couldn't believe was vegan when I called the restaurant.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  I can't believe it.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  I can't. Lobster ravioli. What the fuck you putting in there? Um, I've said this before, you're gonna say that it's.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Fat.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  That, yeah, that's, that I'm fat, but two things I've been very lucky with in my life, the coaches that I've had, like extremely lucky. All my, my coaches were always awesome and fucking.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Your best friend.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  Cafeteria. I've never had, I never missed. St. Nicholas, St. Mary's and Wilkes-Barre was fucking probably the best.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  I know, but listen, I'm like, you do this with every restaurant, we go, I was the best meal and you throw your napkin down. How many times has he had his best? I know I say, and you go, I know I say this every time. You're emotionally connecting the two.

• 55:20H. Foley?

  It was good though.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Saying they were, I'm not saying they weren't good.

• 55:23H. Foley?

  St. Nicholas, St. Mary's, they had macaroni and cheese and stewed tomatoes.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you're connecting that to your mother's love.

• 55:29H. Foley?

  Which I never received. That's not true.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  What I will have in macaroni.

• 55:34H. Foley?

  That, the ones at Wissahickin were always good, home runs, and Widener was fucking unbelievable. It was like a diner. It was so good. It was perfect size.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got you.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  Had everything. I always got lucky with that. Even at lacrosse camp.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Luckiest man I've ever, luckiest man I've ever met.

• 55:54H. Foley?

  I got that going for me.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Good eggs and solid grilled cheeses.

• 55:58H. Foley?

  I assume yours up in Connecticut was probably nice.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  It was ama- I mean, yeah, they were all new schools, so it's crazy.

• 56:04H. Foley?

  Fucking fine. You had new schools too?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were fine. I had one new school. The other schools I went to were from the fucking 40s. They're black and white when you walk in there.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  They were fucking old as shit. They stunk hella bad.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  I fucking, I'd be doing gym class, they'd be making sloppy joes or something. Fucking, I think there were inmates working in there too. They were all work release programmers or something. It was fucked. That shit stunk.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  They had, I, yeah, not that. I get that you love it. It was, wasn't good. I remember they had a slushy machine for a little while.

• 56:41H. Foley?

  Really?

• 56:42Speaker 01

  And get a little banger.

• 56:43H. Foley?

  Margarita? Do frozen.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Hey, it's for salt on the rim, Toots. Trying to tie a load on before I go back to Mr. Bennett's.

• 56:52H. Foley?

  Put a little rock candy on the rim of that.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, um.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  Hold on a second. Fuck, that made me think of something. Oh, the sloppy joe is, is, is a lost, you a fan?

• 57:00Speaker 01

  I love.

• 57:01H. Foley?

  Kip?

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm not, I don't get them. I don't know what you mean. Yeah.

• 57:08H. Foley?

  We called them wimpies in Wilkes-Barre.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  My Aunt Mary Catherine would make them.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  Bangers. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, I ju- I haven't had one in a very long time. They're not really around.

• 57:17H. Foley?

  They've gone out of fashion.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:19H. Foley?

  It'd be nice if they came back.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  I think we're doing alright. I'm not saying, you know, I don't think, I don't think it'd be great if they were introduced back into your life at the moment.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  I know, I, I, I, listen, I understand that.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'm leaning on the, I'm leaning on the edge of a.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  But I, I wonder, I wonder if, I wonder if, because we got a lot of people that have families and stuff like that. I wonder if anybody's still making.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  What are you, running for congress? I want to talk to my contingent with these homemakers out there.

• 57:40H. Foley?

  I just want to know if anybody out there is still making sloppy joes.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  I'm sure people are banging.

• 57:44H. Foley?

  Manwich?

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  Think so?

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I was doing them as, my parents were doing them.

• 57:49H. Foley?

  That's a quick, easy meal. Feeds the whole family.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, gotta do them in hot dog buns, though. I don't like when they fall out.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Probably holds it together, yeah, that makes sense.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, they get all out. What do you mean?

• 57:57Speaker 01

  I've never done that, but that makes sense. That was one thing I never liked, the mess. I was like, I'm fucking...

• 58:02H. Foley?

  It's good when you clean it up.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Your fork. It's like I'm digging in the mud or something.

• 58:05H. Foley?

  Use your chips. Use your chips to scoop that up.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 58:12H. Foley?

  Let me know, send off in the car. If not, I'll bring them back. This November.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  With your help.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Run for governor.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Uh, this is for mathematician1738. "Not a question, but in high school I got in a car accident with the town pillhead." "I had to stop eating my local pizza place because he worked there, and the place had caller ID. I was scared he'd see my last name and mess with my pizza. Three years later, they sued me because of the crash caused them emotional distress. They settled with my insurance company and my car insurance is still through the roof." Man, if that's not pillhead behavior, I don't know what is.

• 58:53H. Foley?

  That means he ran out of cash.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  I'd be more devastated about losing my go-to pizza place than fucking...

• 59:00H. Foley?

  I was worried he'd fuck with my pizza.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  I would too, that's...

• 59:05H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, you're done.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd be wearing like a fake beard in there going to pick it up and stuff.

• 59:10H. Foley?

  Yeah, that is so well-written.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  Calling from a payphone.

• 59:12H. Foley?

  That is so, so well-written.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  That was great. What a fucking story.

• 59:17H. Foley?

  Three years later, he'd sued me.

• 59:21H. Foley?

  There's no statute of limitations on that? Statue?

• 59:24Speaker 01

  I guess if you... I don't know, I mean, you know, those... I think they just want to settle too. Like, they don't want to go to... They go, "Ah, just fucking..." That guy, pillhead? Ah, listen, I don't know this pillhead, but I've known a lot and still know a lot of currently using pillheads.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  You cut them a check for eighteen hundred or something, that's fucking...

• 59:42H. Foley?

  Yeah. Looked the other way. Twenty percent to the lawyer.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  They'd give you an arm.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Ah, goddamn. Uh, we got time for one or two more here. This is from Tommy Two Spoons. "My family has a running record of how many times I've choked on mozzarella sticks. The first time happened when I was seven and my mom had to pull it out of my throat. I still finished it, of course. Since then, I've choked nine times on a mozzarella stick. I'm 35 and I eat like someone's trying to take them away. Can't stop, won't stop."

• 1:00:14H. Foley?

  Brother, been there.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Man.

• 1:00:16H. Foley?

  You take a bite of a mozzarella stick and you hit it with a Screamin' Cold Coke, that shit fucking, that shit-

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  It hardens, coagulates.

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  Woo, it's like salt on a slug. It'll fuck you up.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  That's tough, yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  I get that. Keep it a, keep it a, dude, what a dirtbag family, too. See them sitting around Thanksgiving. Is it eight and nine times for you, Tommy Two Spoons? That's nine, nine times, pop pop. You're just like your father. He couldn't chew either.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  Choke it out of mozzarella sticks.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Alright, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  Ah, gang, we love you to death. Grab some tickets for the Back on the Block Tour.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:54H. Foley?

  And we'll see you next week.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Peace.