Episode 441: Peter Crone on Breaking Mental Prisons + How To Dissolve Limiting Beliefs in Seconds

Ever wonder why some people seem stuck in the same patterns while others break free and thrive? In this Habits and Hustle podcast episode, I am joined by Peter Crone, known as "The Mind Architect," to discuss how our deepest subconscious beliefs create invisible prisons that limit our potential. We dive into the invisible prisons of our subconscious mind and how they limit our potential. We also discuss why simply changing behaviors often fails, how to dissolve rather than solve problems, and the physics of how our perception shapes our reality. Peter Crone has worked with professional athletes, celebrities, and business leaders to help them break free from mental and emotional limitations. Former personal trainer to Tom Cruise, Peter has delineated the "10 prisons of the subconscious" that constrain human potential. Through his masterminds, live events, and Freedom membership program, he helps people dissolve the limiting beliefs that create suffering. What We Discuss: (03:50) Mind Architect's Actor Training Journey (11:11) Overcoming Limiting Beliefs for Success (17:17) Understanding Subconscious Patterns for Personal Growth (25:03) Unpacking Subconscious Patterns for Healing (30:00) Facing and Transforming Limiting Beliefs (42:48) Embracing Humanity and Self-Responsibility (54:03) Understanding Primal Emotional Needs (57:31) Releasing Lies and Embracing Authenticity (01:01:58) Exploring Self-Love and Healing (01:09:56) Uncovering Lies for Personal Freedom (01:19:32) Exploring Physics and Personal Transformation (01:25:47) Exploring Mind-Body Connection and Abundance …and more! Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com http://therasage.com/ and use code Be Bold for 15% off TruNiagen: Head over to truniagen.com http://truniagen.com/ and use code HUSTLE20 to get $20 off any purchase over $100. Magic Mind: Head over to www http://www/.magicmind.com http://magicmind.com//jen and use code Jen at checkout. Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com http://airdoctorpro.com/ and use promo code HUSTLE for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Bio.me: Link to daily prebiotic fiber here https://bio.me/?utm_source=Jennifer, code Jennifer20 for 20% off. Momentous: Shop this link https://www.livemomentous.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorDUIZz3psr1Qsq_n1yE8_6JTq_QUFabOO9lH65HDEXCIoJOPLj and use code Jen for 20% off Find more from Jen: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Peter Crone: Website: https://www.petercrone.com/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Hi guys, this is Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.

• 0:09Jen Cohen?

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• 0:51Jen Cohen?

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• 1:34Jen Cohen?

  Guys, today we have Peter Crone on the podcast, and I'm nervous about this one. I actually really am. I was gonna say that before we started rolling, because you talk so much about subconscious and conscious and like language that I, it's hard for me and my personality to kind of like grasp and understand, right? But I've seen like some of the work you've done and the things that you talk about, and it's so compelling.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:00Jen Cohen?

  You're welcome. And so I wanted to have you on, because there's a few little things that I've caught through social media that like really resonated. And I think my audience will. Find everything in your work, what you do.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Great.

• 2:12Jen Cohen?

  Very interesting.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:14Jen Cohen?

  So just like, I never really, like I said, read these things, but just so people can.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Just for shits and giggles.

• 2:18Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, just for shits and giggles, exactly. Okay, it says here, you're a mindset coach, speaker and writer known for your work as a, well, in personal development, performance optimization and spiritual well-being. You're referred to as the mind architect and focuses on helping individuals, athletes, business leaders break free from mental and emotional limitations and reach their full potential. Does that like kind of?

• 2:42Speaker 02

  I mean, it's pretty cool. I'd meet that guy.

• 2:45Jen Cohen?

  I would, me too. That's why you're here. I wanted to meet that guy. First, let's start with what, why do you call yourself or who calls you a mind architect? And what is that?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Uh, so I sort of generated the moniker just by virtue of what I call, you know, necessity being the mother of invention, right? Meaning that there wasn't any other title that seemed to be sufficiently appropriate. Like I'd been called a spiritual teacher or a performance coach, or even once a hitman for the ego.

• 3:12Jen Cohen?

  Oh, I like that one.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Happiness guru.

• 3:14Jen Cohen?

  Those are good.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  They're okay.

• 3:16Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  But I always was fascinated with architecture and particularly if you look at some of these sort of sci-fi type movies, which I love, like Inception and Matrix and Doctor Strange and sort of the architecture of time and space. And really what I recognized what I was actually doing was reorienting people's inner thinking space. So really redesigning who you are for yourself. So the architecture seemed accurate and where was I doing it? You know, predominantly in the mind being as that's the interface between, you know, our unmanifest self and manifest self.

• 3:45Jen Cohen?

  So like, how did you get into this? Cause I, like, you talk about a lot about the subconscious and how like we have our limiting beliefs and what we thought of our, like, it's so deep rooted and that, and then we act and our behavior.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:58Jen Cohen?

  Is based on these ideas and thoughts of ourselves that we're not even aware of.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Correct, yeah.

• 4:03Jen Cohen?

  Right?

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:03Jen Cohen?

  But you're not a psychologist, are you?

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Not trained, no, no, not like, like I don't have a certificate on my wall, no.

• 4:09Jen Cohen?

  Okay, well, and the funny thing is, most of the people I know who do have that certificate, like, are the ones who are the most screwed up. That's, isn't that the irony of life, right?

• 4:17Speaker 02

  You said it, not me.

• 4:18Jen Cohen?

  Okay, I said it, not you. So what is your background and how did you evolve into being this person that people go to, to kind of get, I guess, like tap into that subconscious?

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Um. I mean, I went through a lot of my own sort of personal stories as a human from a young age. Like, I was a only child. My mum passed of cancer when I was seven. So that was obviously pretty significant for a little boy. And then, so it was me and my dad, and then at seventeen, so ten years later, he went to work. He works on the boat, so go between Dover and England, Dover and France, and Dover being the southeast part of England. And then Dover and Zebrugge, which is in Belgium. So they're ferry liners that carry cargo to people and with caravans, going on vacation, whatever. And that boat capsized, and so sadly, he passed. So my dad went to work one day and I never saw him again. So they were both obviously significant. Um. So seven and seventeen, mum and dad gone. I had a stepmother. She was, she wasn't married to my dad, but she'd moved in.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  So she was there uh for like the last four or five years prior to that. So she came in when I was about twelve or thirteen or so. And so, you know, there was a semblance of some sort of adult figure taking care of stuff, but.

• 5:24Jen Cohen?

  Oh, wow.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  That really forged me into this, you know, more exacerbated form of survival that I, I saw every human being has. Like, we as mammals, our primordial imperative is just to make it. We just wanna survive.

• 5:36Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  And so mine got obviously heightened at that point, didn't know where I was gonna go. I eventually went to college, did very well. I actually skipped a year because my grades all got affected.

• 5:46Jen Cohen?

  Where'd you go to college? Back in London?

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Back in the UK.

• 5:49Jen Cohen?

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  UK. So a place called Loughborough, which was renowned more for sort of its athletic prowess, but it was sort of top five, you know. Oxford and Cambridge of the world, equivalent to the Harvards and stuff.

• 6:00Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  And then sort of in the top five, it was a great school. And so that was an amazing, I did three years undergrad, I did a postgrad for a year, stayed on. And then I very soon after that came to the States, originally just for an experience, like they did, you know, exchange programs where they pay fifty bucks a month or somebody to come and coach entitled kids tennis, which is what I was doing.

• 6:19Jen Cohen?

  Were you a tennis player?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Uh, I wasn't like as a, uh, like a college performing D one here or whatever you'd call it.

• 6:26Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  I love tennis. I was a good athlete.

• 6:28Jen Cohen?

  Okay.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  But I didn't compete for the school. I played different sports for the school, but I didn't play tennis. But I was good enough that I took my certification program so I could teach, you know, kids. And so just born. Me to the States, they pay for your flight, they put you in a bunk with these eight, you know, obnoxious teenagers.

• 6:44Jen Cohen?

  Yes, I know all about it.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Yes, that was quite fun. Well, the kids have, you know, the parents have booted them out of Manhattan. It was in upstate New York. It was beautiful.

• 6:51Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  So it was a great introduction to the States, made some great friends. And then that led to one thing that then I came to California originally and stayed with a friend of mine that I'd met at the camp. He was trying to make a movie. I got involved with him, made the movie. It was, you know, a great experience, but a terrible business. It was, you know, three twenty four year olds doing the best they could.

• 7:10Jen Cohen?

  Oh, wow.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  So that's what brought me here. Now I'm fifty five.

• 7:14Jen Cohen?

  Okay, you look amazing. You're fifty five?

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:17Jen Cohen?

  What are you? Okay, that's a whole other podcast altogether.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:20Jen Cohen?

  You do not look fifty five.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  No, thank you.

• 7:23Jen Cohen?

  That's amazing. You look much younger.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, my, my, uh, thank you. I appreciate that. I play tennis still with kids who are half my age. I'm still the quickest on the court.

• 7:30Jen Cohen?

  Uh, yeah, that's, okay, I want to get into your, all that stuff later, cause it's really incredible that you, you've obviously maintained your youth very well. So then you've been here for like many years, like twenty five years or so, thirty years.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:42Jen Cohen?

  So they, so you were like in movies and like you were helping people. I understand, cause my background's fitness and like we start, like physically, if you start doing things physically, it does make a big difference in the mental performance, like mental strength, physical strength. It's all kind of.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Absolutely. That's where I started, actually.

• 7:59Jen Cohen?

  Really?

• 7:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's common knowledge, I can say, but I was Tom Cruise's trainer for a few years.

• 8:03Jen Cohen?

  You were?

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, for Mission, Possibles and yeah, Moulin Rouge and Nicole in Australia and stuff like that, yeah.

• 8:09Jen Cohen?

  Okay, you don't, this is, this is great. I was called for Tom Cruise many, many years ago, but that, are you a Scientologist?

• 8:16Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 8:18Jen Cohen?

  Because he was only hiring at some point, like only Scientologists.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  That was after I had left. At the time, and, and a lot of the staff was, but I, I wasn't, and a lot of staff weren't, you know, but I guess he changed that afterwards.

• 8:29Jen Cohen?

  So wait, so what movies did you do for him?

• 8:32Speaker 02

  There were a lot. I was with him for five years, so.

• 8:34Jen Cohen?

  Okay, I want to know, this is like, by the way, Mission Impossible is my favorite movie of all time, all of them, the whole series. And I'm obsessed with them.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  I don't know if it was the very first one, but it was a couple afterward, two and three. We did a couple together, Moulin Rouge with Nicole. We did the others. We did Minority Report. I can't remember them.

• 8:53Jen Cohen?

  I understand now.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Blue Room in London and New York, which New York was a Broadway show that Nicole had done. Yeah, it was amazing. I lost track of all the movies. Jerry Maguire was on the back of that. He was just finishing that. She had done Peacemaker, which George Clooney. Yeah, so it was five years, but anyway.

• 9:11Jen Cohen?

  That's huge because he's like the most intense of, I would imagine, you know, more than I would. Was he as intense, I should ask you, as his reputation says?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  You know, it comes down to how you define words. I would say he was passionate. I wouldn't say he was intense. I would say he's the ardent professional. I learned a lot from him. I have nothing but good words to say about my experience with them. He was the quintessential professional. I mean, he did everything so well with such integrity and that was really inspiring to see.

• 9:44Jen Cohen?

  Did you have to be on cloth like 24/7? Because he would train like at three o'clock in the morning if he wanted to.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  No, no, it was, it was a unique setup and that was a big part of my history. So I'm not sure it's so relevant today.

• 9:56Jen Cohen?

  Oh, it is relevant though. Yeah, I'll tell you why it's relevant because I think that in my, in my experience, my life, I have a background similar to you then, where, but that leads like those opportunities that you create for yourself or that happen upon you, whatever, it's what you do with them, right? And it's a great, you can leverage things into different possibilities and opportunities from having these experiences.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:21Jen Cohen?

  And I think that like, once you're, when you're with people who are like high performers, this is my, they can cut me off if you'd like, but.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:29Jen Cohen?

  And you start in one realm, it automatically like there, it seeps into all sorts of different like performance and different realms.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 10:38Jen Cohen?

  Everything is connected.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it definitely for a kid who'd been orphaned in England and didn't come from wealth or anything like I didn't wasn't left a penny. It actually went to my then stepmother. So I came to the States with about two hundred bucks.

• 10:50Jen Cohen?

  Right, wow.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Which was tough. And I was sleeping on a very stained and not pleasantly smelling rent controlled apartment carpet, you know, in a living room with buddies. And so that was very humbling, but in a way that it's really made me appreciate everything that I have. And so to your point, yes, when I was then in this environment with the Jets and everything that you could imagine, it it's sort of like you, you know, you sort of soak a piece of meat and whatever marinade, it's going to absorb it, right? So through the process of osmosis, I was starting to imbibe my own higher frequencies of what becomes possible. So whilst I was a small cog in a big machine, I'm very grateful for the experience. It did open my eyes to different ways of looking at life. And of course, then people, you know, there was press clips and things of what I was doing.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  And so there's a little bit of notoriety that came with it that then afforded me to work with other people who were high performers. So it did start a new trajectory. And that's why I'm, as I said, I'm super grateful for the experience.

• 11:47Jen Cohen?

  So what was the first thing that you did that kind of took on a life, like took on a new life?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, so when I I I left, much to the chagrin of kind of both of them, which was nice because they really enjoyed my company and we had great results together. But I just recognized that as much as I could transform a body, which was somewhat child's play, meaning because I'd studied exercise physiology, human biology as my undergrad, I kind of knew the ins and outs of anatomy to physiology and biomechanics. So that was relatively easy. And I got the job with them because I was a trainer originally and I was getting such incredible results. So my name was thrown in a hat for a possible replacement for their old trainer. So but what I recognized was that takes time, right? In the world of matter, you need time and space in order to make true, you know, significant transformation. And I had already been fascinated with philosophy, the mind, why do humans do what they do?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I was also a ski instructor for a while and I can remember distinct moments where I would be watching two people I was helping, same age, same experience, same sort of seemingly athletic ability. But one was sort of had this trepidation and Scared and the other one went for it. And I'm like, it's got nothing to do with equipment anymore. Right. It's about perception.

• 12:54Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  So that really opened up this whole line of coaching at the time. I just was sort of doing friends and family to start, you know, seeing if I actually had, you know, anything decent to say. And then it really took off very quickly when I got some professional athletes who started to triple winnings and things like that, uh, you know, on a professional level where they were changing nothing but their mindset and, you know, golf and then baseball. And so that kind of really, that, that accelerated my career very quickly then.

• 13:21Jen Cohen?

  So right, because you talk so much about, it's all about like limiting beliefs. Like at what point in your mind or have you seen where talent takes you so far and then it comes into like, if you actually think you can, or the mindset you have, or the limiting belief that you can like. And with all your experience that you just said, what is that one thing that holds one person back? And allows the other person to thrive and go so much further, even if that other person had more talent.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  I don't know if there's one thing. I mean, what's come through me, the uniqueness and sort of proprietary nature of my work is I've delineated these ten prisons of the subconscious that we all have. So you could argue that actually somebody's constraint becomes the impetus for their success. Like somebody like a Kobe, he thrived on making people wrong. I would say it's a limited way of actually becoming accomplished because you're being defined by a negative, if that makes sense.

• 14:12Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Right. It's like, so even though it can get people a long way, it typically is being driven by the energy of fear. So with my athletes, there's the myriad of like, I'm not good enough. I'm a failure, you know, whatever it is that holds any human being back. So they could have all the talent in the world, just like you probably have friends and family who are brilliant and they have a lot of potential, but they don't know why they can't access a loving relationship, uh, nine, 10 figure business or whatever they want, or health in their body. So it's these sort of blind spots that hold people back, which is sort of my area of expertise to reveal.

• 14:44Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  And as Carl Jung said, he had a beautiful quote. He said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will drive your life and you'll call it fate.

• 14:50Jen Cohen?

  I heard you say that, actually. I saw that clip that you talked about that. And I'm so fascinated by this because it's a hundred percent true. And this is like, this is the pool that you play in.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:03Jen Cohen?

  So that like, I could do like a whole hour just on that. Like, why, we do all have, it's always the people who are the smartest, who are, sometimes they overthink their way into analysis paralysis, right? And that's why I think sometimes people who are the, I hate to say it, but like, the more, less intelligent, or people who aren't that smart,

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:25Jen Cohen?

  um, get way further in life because they have nothing holding them back. They're like, why not? I'll just go for it, right?

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 15:32Jen Cohen?

  Versus the people, they overthink, they analyze, they,

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:36Jen Cohen?

  their brain becomes their prison.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  I have, yeah, I don't know, well, you probably know because you've listened to some of my stuff, but I tend to download in quotes. So I have a quote to that point about intelligence where I said, being smart doesn't make you any happier. It just makes your reasons why you're not way more convincing.

• 15:50Jen Cohen?

  That's a hundred percent true.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  The people who have the IQs, the EQs, you know, they're able to discern and to justify, rationalize why things won't work. So, you know, I could say if there was one catchall for your question about what is the one thing that holds people back, oftentimes it's really, it's the accumulation of disappointment or failure. Right? So you think about a young mind in whatever regards, whether it's walking, tasting something, going up to a girl for the first time. You know, there's a certain innate cavalier part of being human where we're just curious. But then when you've had disappointments and trials and tribulations, the more you've accumulated, then the more your brain uses that as evidence as to why it's not going to work. So again, one of my quotes, I say, past hurt informs future fear.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  So the greater the hurt, then sort of the commensurate energy that comes with that is now fear. So kind of the younger you are, which with a lot of my pro athletes, most of them are, then there's this sort of more fuck it kind of attitude.

• 16:46Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  So, um, which to me is really representative of one of my favorite qualities, which is commitment. Like, most people just aren't committed in filling the gap, you know, relationships, their health, their career, you know, their, their sleep program, whatever it is, like, you know, they're not really committed. And that's not a judgment, it's just an observation for people, maybe even as they listen to that, go, holy shit. Like, I, I struggle with that, you know, the absence of commitment in my life. So athletes who are successful have less accumulated baggage, you know, and ideally combined with a lot more commitment.

• 17:19Jen Cohen?

  How about regular people who are not athletes?

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Same.

• 17:21Jen Cohen?

  Just smart.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  We're all athletes. We're all performers at the end of the day. You know, you're a mom, you have a show, you have a business, you know, you're a performer, right? And so I work with corporations and I look at the corporate athlete. You know, it's the same thing, right? Like, what is your discipline, your dedication, your, how clear are you in what you're wanting to accomplish? You know, where are your big audacious goals that you're trying to get to? Same, same with everybody.

• 17:44Jen Cohen?

  Then how do, how do you, how do, how do you help somebody break free from that? Like their, their limited belief? Like, what if they don't know it themselves? So what's the process? Can you walk me through what like the process is to even begin really knowing what's in your subconscious mind?

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's quite insidious. And for that reason, it's, it's like kind of fine surgery. You know, Michelangelo was asked, how did you create this beautiful sculpture of David out of a big piece of marble?

• 18:11Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  And he said, I didn't. David was already in there. I just chipped away everything that wasn't David, right? Which is beautiful. So I think, you know, early on in life, we take big chunks off the corner, right? You can maybe just see the corner of a shoulder. But what I'm working on is sort of the, the details around the eyelids and the nostrils, right? So it's very subtle.

• 18:26Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  So it's sort of brain surgery a little bit, quite literally.

• 18:30Jen Cohen?

  Right, literally.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  So, so the process is you're, you know, a human being, whoever I'm working with, whatever walk of life. And you know, you feel some constraints, some resistance, some frustration. There's a degree of you're not fulfilling on your version of potential or life isn't the way you want it. Or, you know, further down the line of imbalances, you're sick or you have anxiety or depression or addiction, right? Most of my people are pretty robust. They have successful lives. They just want to go to the next level.

• 18:58Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  But it runs the gamut, right? People to the point of like, I've helped people who are suicidal, you know, and help them understand they're actually not. That's just a part of their subconscious that is asking to be relinquished. So they don't want to die, part of the software that no longer serves them wants to die. And that distinction alone has saved many lives, right?

• 19:15Jen Cohen?

  Wow.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Do you see that?

• 19:16Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, but how do you know that? Like, what, like, if someone, how do you even get into that subconscious? Do you hypnotize them? Is that how you do it?

• 19:23Speaker 02

  So I can hear it. So to finish the question, so whatever area of life they're being triggered in, and there's normally only a few because of humans. We, our details are very complex. You know, it's an uncle here, an aunt, a wife, a kid, a boss. But it's all the same. It's like we kind of have family stuff. We have health body stuff. We have maybe money stuff. We have career stuff. And then maybe hobbies and passion. You know, it's like humans don't talk about too many things.

• 19:46Jen Cohen?

  Right, there's buckets.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  There's buckets that, you know, we all are basically committed to and attached to. So wherever the people get triggered, I use that as an access point to reverse engineer. What is it that that must be revealing about you as a human where you're not okay with something? So again, one of my quotes I love, one of my favorites is life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. So meaning that it's the opportunity that life is to be human is that we, you know, scurry around doing the best we can, thinking we're trying to get somewhere and we get pissed off, upset, triggered, hurt, whatever it is. And that's where, for me, without getting too poetic and esoteric out of the gate, if we're these divine, integrous beings who are timeless and limitless, meaning there's

• 20:31Speaker 02

  nothing that we can't handle, there's nothing we can't create. But if we get stopped by something, then that's where the subconscious is caught in some pretense or a lie that you're not good enough, or you're not lovable, or you're not safe. So for me, this whole dimension of humanity on planet Earth is because we all came here to break free from the constraints with which we arrived. So that's the, that's the process is where do you get pissed? Basically, where do you get pissed off? Where do you get triggered? That's gold. And if you're with someone who knows how to reverse engineer it, then you'll discover why you get triggered. Because again, unless, I say, unless it's life threatening, it's just ego threatening. And most of the time, it's ninety nine point nine nine nine percent, it's ego threatening. So then that's the gold, right?

• 21:09Jen Cohen?

  So ego threatening is what? How do you define that?

• 21:11Speaker 02

  Ego threatening, meaning that something, you got upset by something.

• 21:15Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  You know, Jennifer got pissed off because, or she's hurt because, or she's scared because, right? There's some, the way even because we're under the illusion that we're at the effect of life. Oh, why are you upset? Oh, because somebody cut me off in traffic? Well, no, you're not upset because of that. Someone just cut you off in traffic. You're upset because of the way you react to it. And that's all us. So we become the author of our own experience when you start to realize the power of responsibility. Most people don't want that. They want to point fingers, you know, like I'm pissed off because my husband, da, da, da, or my wife, or my kids, or my boss. And so then you become a victim. It's sort of a powerless way to live life.

• 21:48Jen Cohen?

  Very much so.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I undo all of that and help people to discover their own authorship. They are the genesis of their own experience.

• 21:56Jen Cohen?

  It must be hard. I mean, I think it's, I would imagine the reverse engineering of it and making people see things they don't like. Is it, don't people easily just revert back to how they were? It's easy to do that, like you're saying.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  And they can. And again, it's dependent a little bit on age. The older we are, the more established all of our habits, patterns, neural pathways are.

• 22:16Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  So working with youngsters, it's sort of like, you know, the transformations can be instantaneous and lasting. So you need some time, like anything, like, you know, you're an athlete, so whatever sport you play, I love golf and tennis and skiing. And if someone was looking at my swing, they might have the most beautiful insight about what I'm doing. And I could maybe feel it when I'm with a coach, but then it's up to me to go and practice it. So it becomes ingrained. No different with the mind, even it's even more slippery though. It's a bit more subtle.

• 22:42Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  But it's the same thing, you know, there's what I call the two main buckets of awareness of your blind spot. Bring the unconscious conscious, as Carl Jung said. And then there's a practice of this new set of eyes that you're looking through of like, oh my God, I always thought my mom was da, da, da, fill in the blank. And so I've communicated with her like that, but that's based on my history of her and that's not who she is today. So we sustain our images of things.

• 23:05Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  And then we perpetuate because the ego wants to be right, even though what it's being right about are limitations, which is insane.

• 23:12Jen Cohen?

  Right. We want to convince ourselves that what we think is actually. True.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:16Jen Cohen?

  Is that why what the words we say are so important?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah.

• 23:21Jen Cohen?

  I was told the other day something like even if you're saying something in jest or joking like, you know,

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:26Jen Cohen?

  Oh, God, I'm so dumb because I forgot that like

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:28Jen Cohen?

  Your brain doesn't have a sense of humor. So they don't know you're joking. If you say the word, I'm so dumb, ha ha.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:35Jen Cohen?

  They just think in that word, I'm so dumb, or just becomes the loop.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  And and it's a little bit more slippery than that because even what generates the I'm so dumb. Because by the time you've had a conscious thought or an expression, it's being generated from a subconscious pattern. So that statement, I'm dumb, as a way of defacing ourselves or mocking ourselves or joking, that only exists because of who you are at a deeper level to even say it in the first place.

• 24:03Jen Cohen?

  Right. Oh, guys, see, this is where I get

• 24:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:06Jen Cohen?

  I gotta really pay attention. Yes.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:09Jen Cohen?

  So say that again. So

• 24:10Speaker 02

  This is in the snicker bar like version.

• 24:12Jen Cohen?

  This is not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I gotta really laser focused.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  This way. So this house that we're in, beautiful house, can only exist because of the foundations. But we can't see the foundations, but nonetheless, the house could not exist if it weren't for them, nor could we build a bigger house relative to the size of foundation.

• 24:29Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  So think of the foundations like the subconscious.

• 24:31Jen Cohen?

  Yep.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  So everything that happens in this house is directly commensurate with the foundations that allow for it.

• 24:38Jen Cohen?

  Yes, I'm following you. Yes.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. So likewise, someone's personality and their conscious thoughts and the words they say can only exist to the degree that their foundations of their subconscious allow.

• 24:49Jen Cohen?

  Right. So you can't change the foundation.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  No, well, you can because

• 24:53Jen Cohen?

  You can?

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can. That's sort of, you know, sort of mental emotional excavation, I guess.

• 24:57Jen Cohen?

  I guess, yeah.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  The re-architecture. But you can, because the difference between like, you know, the concrete that's beneath us, this is based in language, which is why words are so important because subconscious constraints are also based in programming. So for example, the I'm not enough, which everybody can relate to.

• 25:14Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  Will manifest differently depending on somebody's circumstances and their proclivities towards, you know, whatever it is, focused on relationships, focused on money, it will manifest in that way. But the I'm not enough. Isn't an inherent truth, it's just a constraint. It's a, but if it's been there for forty years, it's very convincing for that person. They'll say, oh, I'm so dumb or, oh, I'm never gonna meet anyone or what if, why, why was I trying to start a business? I'm so stupid to think that I would be successful. Those words make sense for somebody at a deeper foundational level think that they're not enough.

• 25:44Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  You see, so, so what I would do is hear those things, they're not truths. Like, there's no truth in saying I'm dumb or I'm an idiot or I'm a failure. That's not a truth, it's a statement, a declaration that reinforces a deeper narrative. If we can access that, you know, this is what I do in my masterminds or when I'm working with people. It's, it's so revelatory, it's so moving, cause people are like, holy shit, like, I don't even know what I could do now. Because you're not being confined by anything anymore.

• 26:10Jen Cohen?

  Right, and you, you, so you, in your work, you can actually take away that ideology at a foundational level.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:18Jen Cohen?

  How? Like, you're in a mastermind, let's, I'm in your ma, like, I like to know the nitty gritty.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I love that, I love your, your attention to detail.

• 26:26Jen Cohen?

  It's the attention, because I feel like, especially on this podcast or like in my life, I'm sure with you too. Like, you meet a lot of different people, experts in this and experts in that.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:35Jen Cohen?

  And they give you this very panoramic, big, you know, overarching ideologies. But in real life, it's really hard to kind of.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  For sure, conceptual, yes. So, one, last Saturday in my mastermind, which just started, it's a three and a half month process. We meet every two weeks on a Saturday, it's a long day, I do theory and then I coach people. So, one of the women I was coaching, she had people from all around the world who attend, and she's in Holland. And she's a mom of two kids. And she had a question, she struggles with migraines and particularly around her cycle. And there's some sort of physiological associations. But really, what it came down to, her deep subconscious pattern was, it's all up to her. That, it's not like she's thinking that, it's almost so, well, yeah, I'm a single mom, of course, it's like, it's so commonplace for her to act that way. But it started when she was young and she had to drive her dad, who was an alcoholic, you know, when she's a kid.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Having all of this responsibility put on to her that wasn't hers to have.

• 27:30Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  So she, from a very young age, developed the idea that lives are in danger. You know, it's not like she's saying this, but these are her care providers and she's young. Right. So for a kid who's really dependent, she had to, it's the, the energy of resistance. If you have to, you must, you need to. These words carry weight, right? So for a kid, it's like, I literally have to keep my dad alive because he's the one paying or providing food or shelter, right? Right. But then that continues. And now it's perfect. She's fulfilling on the sentence of her subconscious, which we all do. So now she's a single mom. And now she feels like it's incumbent upon her to do everything. I understand the logic of it, but it's not a truth. So how do I undo that?

• 28:12Speaker 02

  You know, I take people through an exercise. So for example, I said, you know, if I cut you open, am I going to find a manufacturing label that says, you know, da, da, da, you're from Holland, it's all up to you. And she laughs and said, no, of course not. I'm like, okay. So it's not part of your hardware. So where does it exist? She's like, well, it's what I believe. Okay, great. So it's software. Software we can play with, right? I'm like, I can't change the color of your eyes. I'm not at that level yet. Yet. Throw that in there. Exactly. Stay in the possibility of it. But the, the language that I could do something with. So then I said, okay, so where does it exist? She's like, well, it's in my mind. Great. What's its format? Well, it's all up to me. It's words, right? Okay, yeah. So if it's just words, is it an absolute truth? I get your, it's how you feel. I get it's what you've done, but is it a truth that it's all up to you?

• 28:54Speaker 02

  And she really got it. She said, no, it's not a truth. You see the shoulders drop, the physiological breathing patterns change. And it was so beautiful. And this will be coming out because we can use it as a podcast episode. And she said, oh my God, I, I don't even like, I've just been introduced to a world. I don't even know how to explore. And it's so profound. Like that's my, my response normally is I'm introducing you to a world that you're not familiar with. Cause when you've lived in the world from a very young age, you know, we had a few years prior when we're just free in kids and we do whatever and we throw up on people's. We don't, we don't know we're doing anything wrong. And then suddenly we learn at one point that being us isn't enough. Like there's something that kicks in at a very young age, the terrible twos, because we start to hear wrong, bad, don't do this.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  So it's a very interesting part in the arc of a human being's personality where suddenly we're told that who we are is no longer just unconditionally loved. Right. And then from that point forth, all we're doing is trying to get that back.

• 29:49Jen Cohen?

  I understand what you mean.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:51Jen Cohen?

  And so it all stems from an experience or a time in your childhood that you're acting out in in adulthood, I guess.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's continued because it was so jarring. Sometimes it's really traumatic. I've helped a lot of people who've had some horrend things happen to them, you know, the whole world of sexual abuse and

• 30:07Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  you know, which sadly happens to a lot of kids. And now it's a parent or a child, an adult who's managing real physical sickness, real trauma in relationships, which is still playing out the unreconciled trauma from childhood.

• 30:22Jen Cohen?

  Do you know, are there specific patterns that you see over and over again?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:26Jen Cohen?

  Okay, what are they that?

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Well, some of the most common ones are the feeling of inadequacy, like I'm not enough. For women particularly, the feeling of insecurity, like we're not safe, you know, as a woman, because sadly for hundreds of years, the patriarchal has been somewhat abusive, you know, in varying degrees, right? And so, and then some sense of scarcity, they're the three main buckets that everybody has. There's something fundamentally wrong with me. I'm not safe in the world, like I can't just, you know, leave my house open, no worries, like there's crime out there. The world is dangerous, right?

• 30:56Jen Cohen?

  Right, right.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  And then there's never enough, like even I've worked with, you know, fifteen, twenty billionaires and they're still in a scarcity mindset because it's part of the human condition.

• 31:03Jen Cohen?

  So then how does that even stop? Like, but you were saying even earlier, even the Kobe, for example.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:08Jen Cohen?

  He became really successful because of a chip on his shoulder that he had to prove, you know, he had to prove that he's not, that he is enough, right? That's what I see all the time too. I think that's a, that's, that whole thing, if you really, when I talk to a lot of people.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:22Jen Cohen?

  That's kind of when they, when you peel back the layers, that's really what kind of motivates a lot of people, right?

• 31:28Speaker 02

  It does, yeah.

• 31:29Jen Cohen?

  Because they're proving, they're trying to prove something to themselves subconsciously, that they are enough, that they can do it, that

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:34Jen Cohen?

  you know, just that they just are relentless.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:37Jen Cohen?

  That will be what it takes.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  But you just said it there in your own speaking, like they're trying to prove it to themselves.

• 31:42Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  So it's me against me, right? It's my story of inadequacy that I think is because my dad said I'm a loser and I'll never amount to anything. But actually, that's just one thing that he said that probably took like ten seconds, but I've been carrying for a decade.

• 31:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Two decades, three decades. So are you fighting your dad anymore? Or is you fighting your own belief that you've actually started to own and identify at? And that's the, the old analogy of driving a car with one foot on the brake and one foot on the accelerator at the same time, which is how most people live their lives and why they get sick.

• 32:10Jen Cohen?

  Well, you said something. Hold on. I wanna, I wanna like, hold on.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 32:13Jen Cohen?

  Open this thing up.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Reference your notes.

• 32:14Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, but that I haven't even looked at. Okay, so like, I wanna, there was a line, something like, you know, you help people go from where they are to where they think they should be.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:24Jen Cohen?

  Like, because I think that where we think, like, where we, where we think we should be versus where we actually are.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:31Jen Cohen?

  Is why people get so frustrated and depressed and upset. Because they always think they should have had a different life that they have right now.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's one of the things I do live events now, and I spoke recently at one of them, talking about how it's incredible, the amount of energy.

• 32:46Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  A human being exerts and puts into trying not to be where they are.

• 32:51Jen Cohen?

  That's what, well, that's, I think, what social media has done though, too, right?

• 32:55Speaker 02

  It certainly contributed to it. It does. Social media in and of itself is not doing anything. It's just appealing to these mechanisms of the, one of the fundamental prisons where we think that the way our life is, isn't it? But, but we're getting there.

• 33:06Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  But you can never get there because you're never in the future. There's only the proverbial now that Eckhart Tolle has been talking about for forty years.

• 33:13Jen Cohen?

  Oh my god. By the way, by the only person who talks to you that has to like really listen intently to like, it's not just me, okay?

• 33:19Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 33:20Jen Cohen?

  Right? Because it's like, because you're, the way you speak about these things, it's like you have to pay attention. You can't just like, you, you can't just like, you know.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Shoot the breeze and talk about what you had at Chipotle.

• 33:31Jen Cohen?

  Pretend I'm listening. Yeah, exactly. Like, thinking about where my errands are later.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Present with me, my dear.

• 33:36Jen Cohen?

  I have to be because it's like you're taking it back. But I feel like that's what we do, right? Like, no one seems to be happy with where they are. They're always seeking to, for betterment. Like, that's what personal growth really is, though, right? Like, you wanna go from where you are to a better version of yourself, to a better version of yourself.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  You can, and there's, you know, I'm somebody who's utterly committed to doing, you know, the best I can with this lifetime and accessing, realizing my potential. But there's different ways by which we move, right? So most people move because of fear and lack and scarcity, right? So there's something wrong. And so the person who goes to the gym and signs up at the beginning of the year and pays their fifty to three hundred bucks a month or whatever it is, is invariably being driven by something that they are not wanting. So most people's wanting, energy of wanting, it creates time, right? If I want something, then what I'm actually saying is I don't have it. So now I create time. So now I've got some sort of future idea of what it is that I feel will fulfill on, in this case, really a sense of accomplishment or peace. Oftentimes wanting is really, we just want relief from the suffering that we're in.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  So not wanting is usually the catalyst for wanting. So someone doesn't want to be out of shape. Someone doesn't want to be prediabetic. Somebody doesn't wanna be obese. And so they're now, well, what I'm gonna do is go to the gym and get a membership and a trainer. That's fine, they might get some results, but invariably they're being informed by what I call the negation, the not. So that wanting can get results, but invariably they will fall by the wayside and they'll not show up after the first month or whatever it is, or they cancel the membership because it's not a creative form of desire. It's a reactive form. And when humans are reactive, we're actually holding on to something we don't want and trying to mitigate it or disprove it.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  So that's the, again, the slippery and insidious part of like the ego is it's like it knows relatives to society. Well, I don't look good right now and I wanna be loved and accepted. That's one of the primordial imperatives of every human is I wanna be loved and accepted because it goes back to that kid who felt they weren't. And so in order to do that, what do I have to do? Because I know who I am right now isn't, which isn't that I'm not loved and accepted by society, but I'm not loved and accepted by myself. And so then the exhausting game of trying to become who I think I need to be to garner that from outside, which will never work because you're not trying to get it from outside. Because everyone's playing the same game. If you think about it, it's kind of hilarious.

• 35:53Jen Cohen?

  Should people get high before they listen to this episode? So they can, can they can?

• 35:57Speaker 02

  I don't know if that will help, possibly.

• 35:59Jen Cohen?

  I hope, I think so because I feel like they can really focus on this.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, many people do say that they have to listen to things, you know, four or five times to really get it.

• 36:08Jen Cohen?

  To really get it. It makes, but it makes perfect sense, but it's just like, you're saying it so like matter of factly.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Because it is, because it's physics, right? And I've been doing this for thirty years. So for me, it's very clear. And I think, excuse me, that's one of the reasons that people are drawn to and enamored with my work. Because even if they can't keep track right now because they've got their own kind of fog of their own ego, they can hear the inherent truth about what I'm saying. It's not even my opinion so much as it's just the mechanics of what it is to be human.

• 36:37Jen Cohen?

  No, it's it's a hundred percent true.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:40Jen Cohen?

  It's about the, see, I think what I what I notice, even in my with myself, it's not that I don't know. You know, people, I think intellectually or like just whatever, they they know what they need to eat. They know that what they have to do. But it's in the execution that everything falls apart, right? Because life or like they rationalize it or these blind spots. And so like how that to me is what the most interesting thing is. It's like you can see my blind spots, right? I can see your blind spot. If I spent like time with you, like, you know, I would I would come back and be like, oh, he has this, this, this, and this is his blind spot. Cause you know, I'm a very, then this is probably, you know, I'm a hyper.

• 37:20Jen Cohen?

  I think I'm observant and critical. I'm very critical. But does that mean if I'm a critical person that really I'm critical of myself?

• 37:26Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 37:26Jen Cohen?

  And I'm just, you're just mirroring whatever it is that.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not only mirroring what you see for yourself, it's also mirroring the coping strategies that you've developed.

• 37:35Jen Cohen?

  Interesting.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you've become very astute. Like I would, if I were to put you in a general consensus, you know, it's like a very easy label people have heard. It's like you're a perfectionist.

• 37:43Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, but only with myself. I'm not a I'm not a perfectionist.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  That's where it all starts. Yeah, that's all it starts.

• 37:49Jen Cohen?

  But I notice everybody's like idiosyncrasies and like not just short, I notice everything like how someone like uses their hand and twitches their foot or how they're like looking at me or if they're nodding and what they're thinking like. My brain is constantly in a loop of that.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:05Jen Cohen?

  So.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  So one level, you could look at that as a great asset. Like I have the same, right? So I make a distinction between being highly observant and being vigilant. They both carry the capacity to really be very present with your surroundings and be very aware. Like you've got this keen eye where you can notice, as you said, these little, these little subtleties. I notice when someone's breathing pattern changes when I'm talking to them, right? So real, I can see different softness in their face, you know, sometimes when they've sort of let go of a constraint. But being observant, most people are observant, but from a place of previous need to survive. So their powers of observation have got this underlying current of fear, and that's vigilant. So I would assert, you know, not wrong or right, that much of your capacity. Did I see things was and maybe still is informed a little bit by fear.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Where you're trying to get everything right, or you're wanting to have things a certain way.

• 38:56Jen Cohen?

  Control, probably.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:57Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Which again, control is a behavior is where there's an underlying feeling of insecurity. Where you you don't, you got hurt before when things were out of your control. So now I'm not going to be hurt again, so I'm going to make sure that I control everything that I can.

• 39:10Jen Cohen?

  Hmm.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Which is really just perpetuating the previous hurt as opposed to experiencing the hurt, allowing it. And then stepping into what is literally a brand new day every day.

• 39:18Jen Cohen?

  So like someone, how do you walk, how do you walk through life then? Are you perfect now? No.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  No, I don't even like the word. No, because again, I say, please don't become perfect, you'll have no one to relate to.

• 39:27Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, right.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Right, so that's a, that's a adaptation. It's a, it's a strategy that the ego will use because the ego doesn't accept itself. I've gotten to a point where I'm just okay being me, you know, and people are going to think whatever they want to think.

• 39:39Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, that's a great place.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  And I'm compassionate, I'm loving, I'm kind. I don't in any way claim to be perfect in every arena of life. I'm sure, you know, I've lost money on the stock market, I could have done better there, you know, like, am I really diligent all the time with my workouts? No, but I'm pretty damn good, you know, there's going to be room for improvement in all areas of my life. I'm just okay with that and I'm doing the best I can, so I embrace my humanity.

• 40:01Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Which actually allows me, I think, to perform even better because I don't have these limiting feelings of inadequacy or judgment and self pity and woe. That a lot of people do where they beat the shit out of themselves because I should have done this, I should, I'm like, no, I'm pretty chill.

• 40:16Jen Cohen?

  You're pretty chill about that.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:17Jen Cohen?

  It's true, because you seem pretty chill when you walked in here, much more chill than I thought you were going to be. But then again, I barely know you, but.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:23Jen Cohen?

  Because you were telling about the buckets for women, where the patterns are. What are the buckets and patterns for men that you see a lot?

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Well, I said women more about the insecurity. So men, it tends to be more about performance. So women, obviously, the primordial focus is on appearance and beauty, right? These are like deep in DNA, right? The prettiest girl wins the alpha male, so this is how the you continue the species, right? This is deep, deep, deep DNA stuff. So for men, it's more around performance, right? Like whether that be sports, sex, business, money, like, you know, that's where men struggle, right? Is that they're scared that they're not going to be doing something well enough. And so those are just big generalizations. But sometimes men can feel scared. I mean, I've helped a lot of guys who their dad was mercurial and really angry. And so they're scared too, you know, they tend to cower if it's somebody of status or a boss or same thing.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  You can still have that same feeling of insecurity.

• 41:17Jen Cohen?

  So how do you work with someone like that to kind of get over the need to outperform? And

• 41:25Speaker 02

  But again, tracing it back to what is the underlying like root narrative in their subconscious? Like, where did that start? Where was the first time you thought that being you wasn't enough? Or how you had to compensate was be the best or get the A or whatever it is. And so you normally, people can remember, sometimes they forget. But when I'm having a conversation with them, they'll remember, wow, I can, you know, the first time I came home with my sister, my, my grade card and she got all As and I got a B. And my dad, I could see he was really disappointed, something super benign.

• 41:52Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  But nonetheless, at that moment, that child decided that I'm less than my sister or my brother. And so from that moment forward, they've tried to not be less than, which of course reinforces less than. But the way that shows up in behavioral adaptations is hardworking, perfectionist, people pleaser. You know, sort of now they've got adrenal fatigue, you know, it manifests in the physiology over time.

• 42:12Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  So I would help them go back to that. And so, okay, so at that moment, did it really mean that you were less than? Or did it mean you got Bs and they got As? And so you start to separate emotion from fact, right? Which is where PTSD, you know, get where people associate a moment with how they felt. Versus allowing the moment to be the moment. My dad went to work and died, right? But for years I had a story of loss, which no one would begrudge me. It made sense. Like, if I didn't lose my dad, my dad died, right? And so the story of loss impacted me, the truth of my dad dying, and I can still have grief. I miss the crap out of him. I know he'd be so proud of what I've accomplished in the world. These are all still legitimate, but I'm not losing anything anymore. Otherwise, it's a part of me that's gone, right?

• 42:52Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, it sounds like you do a lot of reframing and self-talk.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Reframing and the self-talk is really a dissolution process of self-talk. Like, I don't solve problems, I dissolve them, is what I tell people. So people's problems sit on top of the narrative that is a confining space. So I reveal the confining space and then the dissolution of that opens them up to a world of pure possibility.

• 43:15Jen Cohen?

  You you know that that now it reminds me of a video I saw that I think was what came up on my feed that you did.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:22Jen Cohen?

  Which was about like love and falling in love.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Yes, that that one went crazy. That's like six point five million views or something.

• 43:29Jen Cohen?

  Really?

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:30Jen Cohen?

  Because it was so that to me was like it was so the way it was worded.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:35Jen Cohen?

  Was very interesting.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:37Jen Cohen?

  Right?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  So that was someone in my live event. So I work with people in the crowd, which is really fun. People I've never met before. I don't know what they're gonna say. I've had someone who had chronic pain. I showed him he didn't to someone who was a loser and was on heroin and in jail to realize he's not a loser. I mean, really moving stuff. And that woman, yeah, she was lovely. Juliana, I think her name is. But she was saying how she was thirty nine and worried about not finding love again. And she was talking about this one big love of hers when she was twenty and, you know, never feeling like she could ever revisit that. And, you know, so I was helping her see that she had collapsed love with the person, which we all do. Like, I'm in love with you in that person. And then if that person goes away, well, now I'm devastated. And so I just help people see, no, that person is extraordinary. And you might have hopefully a lifetime with them, maybe raise a family and it's beautiful. But the love is yours.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  They might simply be the catalyst and the inspiration for it, just as the anger is yours, but they could be the inspiration for it. Like, you pissed me off. Well, no, they didn't said what they did. And you had a reaction. So that completely changed her life and apparently millions of others where they're like, holy shit, like people who've just gone through a breakup. They're devastated. They're depressed. Like, what's the point? It's like, oh, no, I had so much love. That's me. That's I can take that. Now, in theory, you can take it anywhere. But of course, you're gonna have preferences as the kind of people you wanna hang out with. Like, I'm a super uber loving guy. Doesn't mean I wanna spend the rest of my life with everybody, but I'm I'm still the source of my love.

• 44:59Jen Cohen?

  Well, yeah, I think the way it was worded or something was something to the effect that it's not that you were in love with him. Is that you were in love with the way it made you feel.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  The version of you that you became through and with him.

• 45:11Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  And that's the journey of self-revelation and self-realization is that life is revealing our own potentialities in all regards. It's not just love, although I would assert that's our predominant state.

• 45:24Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  But it's you get pissed off with someone, see how angry you can get. Like, it's not because of them, it's who you became through and because of them in terms of that energy. But it's still yours. And so that then introduces responsibility that most people don't want. Because again, going back to what I said earlier, most people are at the effect of life. Well, no, I'm happy because I got good news from so and so. I'm pissed off because of what my wife or husband said. I'm angry because, no, then you're a victim of circumstance.

• 45:51Jen Cohen?

  Right. So you're saying that when we start putting things on the external only.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:56Jen Cohen?

  That's not, we can't define our ourselves or our happiness or our sadness based on our outside.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  You can, but you're going to be left unfulfilled and feeling hopeless because then that's when you become a control person, freak, whatever word people want to use.

• 46:12Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  Because you're saying, well, it's ipso facto, right? If I feel hurt or happy by my environment, I'm going to do everything I can to control the environment so that I manage my emotions. That's an exhausting way to try and manage yourself. If I can learn to be okay with whatever's happening at peace with life, I've won.

• 46:28Jen Cohen?

  Right. And you have to, I guess you have to practice that.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Well, awareness and practice are the two main buckets, I said. Most people just aren't aware, so that's why I have compassion. I say you can't be held accountable for that which you're oblivious to. So people are judgmental of someone who's smoking cigarettes. Well, yeah, the world knows cigarettes are bad, but that person's still doing it. It's not like they're like, oh, I can't wait to have a cigarette because I know it's great for my vitality. They're still in some form of suffering and the cigarette is their mechanism of relief and now it's become a habit. But they're not aware of why, because underneath it, they feel like they're a piece of shit or nobody loves them or.

• 47:02Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  You know, that's the suffering. That's the real addiction is the idea of our own inadequacy is the addiction. Then whatever shows up on top of that, pick your poison.

• 47:11Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. But if you can get out of that, then you're free. You can be okay with whatever. That's why my main product is freedom.

• 47:17Jen Cohen?

  Freedom, it makes perfect, because everyone wants to feel freedom.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Yes, but they're under the impression freedom will come when they perfect their circumstances.

• 47:23Jen Cohen?

  Right, it's like, it's basically like a loop, it's an exhausting loop. Because I think also it's like your, your behavior is a product of what your subconscious thinks.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:33Jen Cohen?

  It's not just, you're not just acting willy nilly.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. No, that's why the quote again, Carl Jung is so beautiful because he said, until you make the unconscious, I call subconscious conscious, it will drive your life, meaning it's what's informing, but you'll call it fate.

• 47:51Jen Cohen?

  Right, okay, so.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  So all behavior, like I said earlier, the words that you say are being, the genesis of them are these blind spots. So we think, oh, it's just bad luck. No, it's the energetic signature that you occupy in the way that you see yourself at the deepest level that creates your energetic way of relating to everything in life. So there's no coincidence.

• 48:09Jen Cohen?

  Is this like frequency and vibrate?

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Everything is frequency and vibration, language, words, and even Tesla said, right? You want to understand the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. Yes.

• 48:18Jen Cohen?

  So how can you change, and how does someone change that frequency or that energy?

• 48:23Speaker 02

  By recognizing if they're living in a prison based on linguistic, like what I call prisons, right?

• 48:28Jen Cohen?

  You're saying you have ten of them too, right?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Yes, but it gets more complex and.

• 48:31Jen Cohen?

  Oh, God.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, because each one has got a shadow side too. So I'll give you an example. So someone who thinks they're not good enough, typically that becomes an adaptive way as a coping strategy. So if someone is in an environment where they think they're not good enough, fill in the blank because one of my baseball players, he could go four for five in a baseball game, which is amazing. He got four hits out of five at bats.

• 48:50Jen Cohen?

  It's amazing.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  But he was still miserable in the locker room. People don't understand why, because as a kid, his dad would always tell him, well, what happened to the fifth at bat? Right? So that's still the continuation of that feeling that he still wasn't enough. So for most people in the realm of I'm not enough at the deepest level, that will inform perfectionism, people pleasing, hard work, A-type drive, you know, that people are trying to compensate for. So if I'm not something, typically the way that the brain reacts to that is I'll try and become something. Do you see? I'm not something because that's something you want that, you want to be good. So I'm not that. You know, again, people aren't thinking I'm not good. They're thinking all sorts of things. Why can't I get a raise? Or why am I not making enough money? Or why can't? Aren't I attracted good mate? That's all on top of the feeling of inadequacy. So then it's the compensations to become good or better.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  The darker side of I'm not good enough is I am bad. And that's typically where people have grown up in a little bit more of a harsh environment, where they were dismissed, or they were really treated like shit, or they were around an alcoholic parents and they were beaten. And so sadly, although the not good enough can still be really painful and can lead to sickness and disease and dysfunction and all sorts. Most people are at least striving to do better. Somebody who's I'm bad tends to really become the addicts and the this sort of really self-defeating homeless, eventually maybe like really destructive behaviours. Because you're saying I am something derogatory.

• 50:15Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  And so that's where it becomes, well, fuck it and the woe and then self fulfilling prophecy of like, well, who gives a shit anyway? And that's where people can sabotage their lives to a really detrimental level.

• 50:25Jen Cohen?

  What's another prison that you have?

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Um, I'm not loved. A lot of people have that one.

• 50:30Jen Cohen?

  Really?

• 50:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of people.

• 50:32Jen Cohen?

  I'm not lovable? I'm not loved?

• 50:33Speaker 02

  It can be either or, you know, words can be very subtle in the way it lands for people, but it's basically the same phenomenon that I'm not accepted for who I am.

• 50:41Jen Cohen?

  So what would be the shadow of that?

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Um, so like, if you will think about it, well, if someone is not loved, right? So wanting to be loved is, you know, a good thing. But if if you're not loved, what would be a darker side of that?

• 50:57Jen Cohen?

  I'm not liked, I'm hated, or I'm not lovable?

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, the darker side could be still as a not, I'm not even wanted.

• 51:03Jen Cohen?

  Oh, I'm not wanted. Okay.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  So not loved, okay, you can stay around as a kid and so, but you're not getting affection. Mum doesn't hold you, dad doesn't tell you, love you, doesn't acknowledge you. So that's a horrible feeling. But if a parent says, you know, you were a mistake, which kids have heard, you know? Or they might even hear the dad over, like I had two, a friend of mine, she's a therapist and these two kids, girls wanted to go through all the. Uh, transition bullshit, whatever, you know, and wanted to be boys and she fortunately helped them because they didn't. What they had, what had happened is they'd overheard their dad one day saying to the mom, you know, I really wish I'd had boys, which was for him a sort of a just, who knows the context of their conversation. But those girls heard that. The interpretation is we're not wanted for who we are, but if we become boys,

• 51:47Speaker 02

  we'll be loved. That's how primal it is. Cause if you're not loved, you get kicked out of the gang and you don't make it, right?

• 51:53Jen Cohen?

  That's so interesting because especially what's going on with everything now.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:58Jen Cohen?

  It's madness.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Insane, yeah.

• 52:00Jen Cohen?

  And so these things, that's why it's, that's why it's super dangerous of what's happening in our world right now, right? Because it could be something as primal as like a comment and so subtle and no one's even thinking about that stuff.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it still comes down to this primal need as a human being to be wanted, to be loved and accepted, to be safe.

• 52:18Jen Cohen?

  Is there an age where these things are really kind of implanted so deeply? Or like, can you, like, for example, like seven and under is when these things really become super impactful or?

• 52:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, those formative years, because as I said, it gets really subtle. I say these are the constraints with which we arrive, you know, which is just my take. People could argue the other way around, meaning that this dimension of planet earth being human is we're here to reconcile and transcend these limitations. So it's not because mum said or dad said, I would assert those souls wanted to have the experience of whatever that feeling of being dismissed or not wanted is so that they could transcend it. But most people don't look at life that way. They just try and get rid of the pain, you know? And that's why we have pick your poison, right? Like alcohol, food, sex, prescription drugs, street drugs.

• 53:08Jen Cohen?

  Soothing, whatever.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Whatever it is, right? And so actually for me, the opportunity that it is to be human is go, oh, I'm a boundless, limitless, timeless soul incarnated into this three dimensional meat suit with a narrative that is based in some sort of limitation. And the game is can I break free from that? That's the game. That to me is the purpose of life is to break free from the limitations with which we arrived.

• 53:29Jen Cohen?

  So when you had your, so for you, for example, you're

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:33Jen Cohen?

  and you had your mom die and you had your father die at such a young age. What was your story? Was that like, I'm alone, I'm?

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yes, it's all up to me as well, similar to the woman I said from my mastermind in Holland. I'm alone and also a big story of loss. Anything that's of value to me is gonna leave. So my very first girlfriend, I was like, I compensated, I was a good guy, but I was the perfect boyfriend.

• 53:57Jen Cohen?

  Right, you went overboard.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  But as a compensation, yeah, which eventually is, it's not gonna work, right? She, she literally said, I feel suffocated by your love.

• 54:05Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  And I was like, what's the fucking problem? There's so much love. But then I, when I got it, which is my awakening to my own behaviors, like, holy shit. Like, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't real, it wasn't authentic. It was real, but it wasn't true, you know?

• 54:16Jen Cohen?

  So then how did you course correct? Are you in a relation? Are you like?

• 54:19Speaker 02

  I saw, I could see that mechanism then. So once you see, again, it's a lie. So these prisons are lies. That's, that's, you know, that's a key part of this conversation.

• 54:29Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  The I'm not enough isn't a truth, it's a lie. The I'm not loved is a lie. I'm not safe. They're all lies.

• 54:35Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  So that's what I'm doing is I'm helping people see that. So for example, yeah. My live event last, uh, few days ago, this girl was wanting me to help her with her business. So just some random girl, she put her hand up. I said, who wants to chat? So I want you to help me in business. Okay, da, da, da, what's going on? And it turned out that when she was young, her dad said to her, you're gonna turn out to be a loser, just like your mom and your sister. Right? And so she'd held on to that. This is very articulate, successful coach. But I helped to point out that she can't actually help people because she's trying to perfect herself because she thinks she's a loser. But you see, if you hold on to a lie and then you're just trying to disprove it, all she keeps reinforcing is the lie. She said in front of everyone, it was comical, she said, you just saved me 12 grand. I was about to do this coaching program,

• 55:19Speaker 02

  which is another attempt to trying to finally perfect herself. So the lies, so now she felt relief. What was so powerful, she came up to me at the end of the, when everyone was breaking chairs and leaving. She came up and said, you're not gonna believe this. Show me her phone. She said, there's a client that I've been trying to get since June of last year. They texted me literally as you and I stopped talking.

• 55:37Jen Cohen?

  Really?

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Cause now she was available. She was, there's nothing, she's not trying to perfect herself behind closed doors before she thinks she's ready for business. I said, one of the greatest qualities you can bring in your business is accept. Cause everyone who comes to you has got the feeling of that there's something wrong with them too. But you're the, the authority here who's desperately trying to perfect yourself.

• 55:57Jen Cohen?

  Exactly.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  You're a disservice to the people and that's why your business is not working. She was just blown, blown away.

• 56:01Jen Cohen?

  So that's a, so you do all these live programs, basically?

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, live events, yeah, yeah.

• 56:06Jen Cohen?

  Live events.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  So the mastermind is more it's online, people from all around the world, three month container. The live events are just fun where, you know, we're going to grow, people have asked me now to travel around the world and do them. They're just really fun.

• 56:16Jen Cohen?

  They are. I sound, I love this, that could you basically do?

• 56:19Speaker 02

  Come, come to one.

• 56:19Jen Cohen?

  I went to the next one.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Uh, March 20th.

• 56:22Jen Cohen?

  And do a lot of, like, where is, where is it at? Here?

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've outgrown the space. It's, uh, I come into LA for it and there's, um, 200 plus people. It's a good, it's a, it's intimate, but it's a good size. But now, you know, we're looking at a bigger theater for 2000 because we sell out within 24 hours.

• 56:38Jen Cohen?

  You do?

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. People flying from all around the world. There were people from, this time there was someone from Australia and all from East Coast and yeah, it's really flattering.

• 56:47Jen Cohen?

  And so what, so do you spend the entire time, you say you give them some theory?

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I talk a little bit about whatever and then I just say, who wants to chat? So this time it was a girl who wanted me to improve a business, there's another woman who's turning 50 in a week, who, uh, doesn't have a relationship, but she wants love. And she, part of our story is, you know, she hasn't had many relationships, she's turning 50. So I hold, I hear all the, the data I need, right?

• 57:09Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  So immediately I say, what's the significance of me, you telling me that you're about to turn 50? But there's a story about that as to why she can't have a relationship. So we undo all of that and then she's just-

• 57:17Jen Cohen?

  I want to hear it and do it. I'm curious because I'm sure there are people who are listening who are maybe turning 50 or 40 and I feel like relationships is a biggie, right?

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:27Jen Cohen?

  Cause I think, I think it's harder and harder for people to meet people here.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:30Jen Cohen?

  Not here, just in life.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:32Jen Cohen?

  And with everything, with like social, with apps, social media, now AI.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:37Jen Cohen?

  There's so many people that I think loneliness has become a massive, uh, I think that's the real pandemic.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  So I'm going to take something you said there because I think it will probably hit a chord with people. You said it's getting harder and harder for people to meet people.

• 57:48Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Because they haven't met themselves.

• 57:51Jen Cohen?

  Is that, that's interesting.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Do you get that?

• 57:54Jen Cohen?

  I do get that.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  See, it's harder for people to meet because the more you drift away from your authentic nature, the more of a facade you're carrying and the harder it is to sustain and therefore the harder it is to have intimacy into me see. So this is what, and people really want to watch it. I have a super affordable, my, my membership program is Freedom. It's 29 bucks a month and all my lives are in there. You pay more to go to the live than watching them free recorded. So if someone wants to watch that.

• 58:18Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  And there's a 90 plus hours of other content on anxiety, relationships, freeing your mind, depression, a wisdom library, like, yeah. So all the lives get put in there because not everyone can come. So it was a powerful conversation, but she sat there just beaming in joy because she realized being 50 has got nothing to do with anything. The fact that she hasn't had many relationships got nothing to do with anything. And that she stepped into a whole world of possibility where I said, by the time you come here next month, you could have had probably five suitors come up to you if you want.

• 58:45Jen Cohen?

  So what was it? If it wasn't the 50 and if it wasn't the fact that she's not, she hasn't had a lot of relationships, what was the reason why she was saying that in the first place?

• 58:54Speaker 02

  Because she had at a young age learned to self soothe because her parents weren't available and so she'd become fiercely independent. And what was so funny and people cracked up because for some reason, when I do my lives, I turn more into the comedian. And so she says, it's so funny. She says, I do heart centered workshops.

• 59:11Jen Cohen?

  Are you serious?

• 59:12Speaker 02

  So I was taking a piss because of course I'm coming from a loving place. I'm like, I can just see that. Okay, everybody drop into their heart, you know, and like this is all about love. And then, and I said, and then you leave and go back to your hotel room and cry by yourself.

• 59:24Jen Cohen?

  But this is the.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  But that's what she did as a kid. So she, she's so scared to make herself so vulnerable, which again is, that's why I get it. It's scary. I have compassion, but that's where people haven't met themselves to love themselves. Same with the girl who's trying to perfect herself before she thinks she's a good enough coach. Now I'm like, you'll be the best coach in the world if you could just accept yourself and tell people to get over themselves. That's all they want.

• 59:43Jen Cohen?

  Well, I totally agree, but this is why I said it earlier about the psychologist, right?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:48Jen Cohen?

  I find like a lot of times, like, people are not comfortable of just being authentic. Truly, the word authentic is thrown around all the time.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:55Jen Cohen?

  You know, like authenticity, all these things. It's like great hashtags, but the truth is, nobody's really comfortable in just being who they are.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Being completely honest.

• 1:00:03Jen Cohen?

  You know, like, just, just being different. Because different is not, for whatever reason, it's not accepted. People think it's not accepted.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:00:12Jen Cohen?

  But the truth is, I think the more different you are, the more actually, you're actually, you're, you're, you're more likeable, not less likeable.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Because it's a magnet. Like, you think about if you had this really beautiful gala, everyone's in there like black tie, and it's all fancy schmancy, and everyone's sipping on their champagne freaks or whatever. And you throw in a four-year-old kid who's running around and he's got shit all over his face.

• 1:00:32Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  Like, it's adorable, and people are drawn to that because it's freedom. That's why my product's called Freedom. You know, so for me, you know, if you want to took the world right now of like just insane amounts of mental health issues, the, the precursor to all of that is the absence of self-love. Because then I'm, I'm in dis-ease with myself, so then that's just going to spill out into the world.

• 1:00:51Jen Cohen?

  But I feel like also, it's people just, besides self-soothing, it's, everything is basically a distraction now. If people are, the mental health, as you were just saying, anxiety, depression, suicide, all of it is like, is becoming worse and worse because social media, comparing yourself to some other life that doesn't even actually really even exist.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:01:13Jen Cohen?

  And people are using these all, and they're, they are getting, they're, they're becoming, it's becoming worse. And instead of like, and even though going on social media is why they're depressed, they're still, they can't, they can't seem to take themselves off because they need it as a distraction away from their own life.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  So it's fueling all of these mechanisms where fundamentally someone is just simply not at peace with themselves. So it's this exogenous form of looking for, searching for some reconciliation. If I find the right person, if I have enough money, when I get my body right, when I start my business, when I get the dream home, forget about it, then I'm going to be awesome. But that, no, because you're awesome now. You're awesome now. Everybody is like literally everyone right now. I'd say everyone is a masterpiece and a work in progress.

• 1:02:00Jen Cohen?

  At the same time.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Yes. So can you be completely at peace where you are, no matter the size waste you have, or whatever it is you're going through, even as a sickness with whatever your bank account says, however dysfunctional or great your relationship, can you find peace with what is? That's the only way you can move forward to something that you might have as an aspiration, simply for the pure exploration of what life is.

• 1:02:22Jen Cohen?

  I mean, I got, I'm gonna, I'm gonna actually listen to this podcast myself to make sure I understand, so I can like, you know, I get like the whole thing. So when you, I just want to go back to you for a second. So, because when you did that movie Heal, the documentary.

• 1:02:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:36Jen Cohen?

  So what was that? What were you considering? What kind of expert were you in that?

• 1:02:40Speaker 02

  That was the mind architect, but I spoke to, so part of my background is in Ayurveda, which is a healing arm of yoga. So like Chinese medicine, which itself is fascinating.

• 1:02:48Jen Cohen?

  Fascinating.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  I use that for, like, I'm still here in a three dimensional meat suit. You know, there's still things that I do to take care of myself.

• 1:02:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Just, but internally, my terrain.

• 1:02:56Jen Cohen?

  A meat suit, did you call it?

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Three dimensional meat suit. People become misidentified. Like they say, I am a certain weight, I am a certain height. No, you're not. You, because you're the you that has been consistent even when you were like three foot as a kid and whatever weight you had or lost, right? If anything can change, then that's not the real you, right? So that's an access point to realizing, oh, I've become misidentified with form. And then even the subtler form, which is the thoughts in your head. So that's where I'm helping people to disassociate from, to become free from, like a radio station in your head, just 24/7, usually nonsense, right? But most people believe it. And if you can start to create a bit of space from that, like, you know, the, I forgot who it was, Aristotle or

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  someone said, it's the mark of an intelligent mind that can entertain a thought without believing it. Right, so you can have the thoughts of like, I'm an idiot. I don't know, am I an idiot? Like, you know, versus just saying like a declaration of fact.

• 1:03:51Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  So that's what I'm helping people understand is the power of the words that become the, they create the reality in the confines you live within.

• 1:03:58Jen Cohen?

  So then they have to stop act, they have to stop doing certain behaviors and saying certain things to themselves.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  They don't have to, but that would happen, ideally it would happen automatically when you realize that what's been driving your behavior isn't a truth. Right? So it's, well, again, I say I dissolve problems. Solution based world that we live in is like, okay, you have anxiety. Well, this is what you have to do. But you go and see an expert, typically they, they traffic in the world of behavior, right? Don't do this, don't do that.

• 1:04:23Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  But I don't, I, I'm not interested. Behavior is a byproduct of your feelings and then your thoughts and then underneath your thoughts subconscious. So changing behavior, it might work for a while, but if you're human, you know how hard that is to freaking sustain.

• 1:04:36Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, because you're being driven by deeper code that has you think the thoughts you have, feel the way you feel and then make choices to act.

• 1:04:42Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  So unless you undo that deeper code, which is what I'm talking about.

• 1:04:46Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  Then you're gonna, if you have willpower, you'll keep up the new behaviors for a while. If you don't, you say fuck it and go back to the cigarette and that therapist was a piece of shit anyway. You'll come up with a justification.

• 1:04:55Jen Cohen?

  A hundred percent. And that's why willpower is that never works anyway. It's a muscle that will get tired.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Especially as you get older, because you're not gonna have the same sort of level of, you know, like tenacity or cavalier attitude of fuck you, or you know, eventually your dad's gonna die and now you've got no one else to make wrong. It's like,

• 1:05:12Jen Cohen?

  Exactly.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  you fall flat on your face again. So that's why I want to be informed by love and freedom versus like love and limitation, uh, fear and limitation.

• 1:05:20Jen Cohen?

  Do you believe in like that, I said earlier, like the, like hypnosis or breath work or any type of like, how about psychedelics to get you into that place in your head?

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  I think they'll have a place and people, whatever journey they're on and wherever they're at and the people they draw into their life, it might be appropriate. You know, I think things like breath work, I think psychedelics help because that's gonna get deeper.

• 1:05:43Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Breath work can be transformative. You can have a powerful moment, you know, especially if you're doing deep hypertrophic breathing.

• 1:05:49Jen Cohen?

  It's hard.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  It is hard, but a lot of people go into the crepitus and they have. These epiphanies and that's great, but oftentimes anything that we're doing is it's too late. Right. What I'm interested in, just my own modality, is revealing these deep subconscious constraints for what they are, which is lies. When you see it for what it is, a lie, then you're never going to be the same person. Uh, as an analogy, right? For two thousand years, we have said the world is a globe and I guess still people arguing that it's not, which is fine. That's a whole different conversation, but let's just go with it. It's a, we're on a sphere, right? But prior to that, prior to Galileo, I think he decided, or he saw that it's a sphere. Everyone thought it was flat. So that is the prison, right? The flat, because it's a lie. But in that prison, it's appropriate for what?

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  The fear of falling off the edge. Do you see that fear is commensurate with the perspective? So you could say, okay, well, what's your gadget for stopping people falling off? That's a solution, right? If I was Elon Musk back in the day and I had a laser bracelet that would detect how far the horizon was, I'd be a multi billionaire. Yeah, no kidding. But it would all be within a lie. Cause now I I've worked with MBA guys, so whoever, like I tell an MBA, try and fall off the planet. Like, you know, they jump high. Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. Give it four seconds, they're right back. Yeah. So, so that you start to realize, so then when you reveal the lie, the previous fear associated with it, does this disappears? Do you see? So does that as an analogy help you understand?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  So if someone thinks they're not enough, and as a, as a byproduct of that, they had Hashimoto's, which is down the line of them trying to be a perfectionist and working too hard. Right. You know, and I could say, well, you know, what you need to do is some breath work, meditation is a solution, but they're still being driven by the deeper code that they're not enough. Yeah. Once they see that for what it is, oh, my dad said da, da, da, my sister and my brother was the athlete, or whatever the justification was. So does that mean like truly you're not enough? No, it's made up. Holy shit, if I'm not enough, what become? Then I say in the absence of that constraint, like literally stepping out of prison, how would you feel? What become available? Oh, my God, I. That's when the shoulders drop. I'd I'd do anything.

• 1:07:53Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  That's a new world. There's no, then I don't need to tell them what to do. They start to look through new eyes, which will generate different behavior.

• 1:08:01Jen Cohen?

  And so, how, yeah, that makes, yeah, I do understand.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  It's like going to a different planet, like Wakanda or whatever it was in Black Panther.

• 1:08:07Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  You know, so you go through a portal. In this case, the portal is dissolving your constraint. You suddenly enter this world of pure love and freedom and possibility. You don't know how to navigate it, like the girl from Holland, which is cool. She's like, I don't even know what to do here. I'm like, no, I know. That's what I say to people, even in my mastermind. I'm introducing you to a world with which you're not familiar.

• 1:08:26Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  But at least you're out of fucking hell.

• 1:08:28Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  Now we can start to explore. Who could you be if you're not trying to disprove some feeling of inadequacy? Who could you be if you're not always worried about whether you're gonna make it or be safe? Oh, fuck, I I don't know. I, you know, I'd be so free. I'd start my business. I'd take better care of myself. I'd probably sleep like a baby. And, you know, there's all these different experiences that now become available in this new dimension.

• 1:08:49Jen Cohen?

  So in this new, in this new dimension, but how many of the people that you work with fall back into old patterns, old routines?

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  For sure. I mean, I don't keep track of the thousands of people, but you know, for people who are committed to my work, most of them for sure are gonna have glimpses, you know, myself included. I'm at the bow of the boat of this whole work, at least in my way of sharing and teaching it. So I can still, you know, have, you know, an old feeling of whatever it is, very short-lived now. But, yeah, it takes practice and also it takes community. It takes environment, right?

• 1:09:22Jen Cohen?

  Community is a big one.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Because if you're in a world where you're constantly being reminded of everybody's shortcomings, or you even hear your friends complaining about their marriages and their kids or their business, you you're in the mire of like derogatory, negative comments, right? Versus in in part of my Freedom membership, there's a community where people support each other with the same kind of conversations. So that itself can be uplifting.

• 1:09:45Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  So, yes, you need practice, you need time, you need support, you need reinforcement. And there's, there's many layers to it. So even if somebody in my mastermind, like this woman, realizes it's all up to her and now realizes it's not, it's just not up. To her.

• 1:10:00Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Like, okay, maybe the predominant onus is on her, but as a choice, not like a have to. It's a very different energy. She gets to be a mom. She loves to be a mom. Do you see the difference between it's all up to me and I have to do it? That's creating suffering and resistance. So it's a choice. And when you introduce choice, you now have freedom.

• 1:10:18Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I I know. Okay, I have a friend, my god, a couple of weeks ago. I was out for dinner and I'm like, I gotta go. I have to put my kids to bed. And he told me this whole big thing about like how he has this spiritual advisor who said to him that he. And then he relates to me, he's like, oh, no, Jennifer, you can't say you have to put your kids to bed. You have to say, I get to put my kids to bed. I get, I'm like, so like this language, I find like there's a. It's it all sounds dandy and fine, but it's it feels very contrived and weird.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  It can do, yes.

• 1:10:53Jen Cohen?

  Right. Like, so I'm like, okay, well, I gotta leave because I get to put my children to bed or whatever.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:58Jen Cohen?

  It's.

• 1:10:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:59Jen Cohen?

  It's like a whole different language you have or like language that you have to learn.

• 1:11:03Speaker 02

  It is. And if it's if it's done that way, where his spiritual counselor is telling him to, then it's just another thing for him to do, which is only going to create more pressure.

• 1:11:11Jen Cohen?

  Well, if he's living, he's embodying it, but when he says it to me, it feels very.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's instructional. So there's a difference between what I call instruction and inspiration, you know, if he's saying, oh, we. No, you have to do, you have to say, well, it's still, I have to. It's still the same energy.

• 1:11:25Jen Cohen?

  And also now I just laugh, like mock him. I'm like, I, every time he calls me, I'm like, oh, I get to. You know, I get to like do the chores I have to do, you know, or I get to.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  I can't wait to do the dishes.

• 1:11:38Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I get I get to do the dishes, you know, like I.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  Again, you want to be careful that it doesn't become too fastidious in terms of. We're human, right? We're all doing the best we can. And that's why I think we can make space for. A bit of comedy, a bit of compassion of like, these are good things to understand.

• 1:11:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  So that you can have a deeper reference point of like, oh, okay, yeah, at times I'm, my kids have been a pain in my ass. And I'm just gonna put them to time out or bed. You know, you're human, you're a mom, you're doing the best you can.

• 1:12:04Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  If you can at least revert back to at some point in your evening or the next day, go, okay, that was. Emotional reaction, totally appropriate as a human. I don't want to live from there because it's tiring.

• 1:12:14Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Also don't want to be that person for my kids. And maybe there's an opportunity for a conversation where they can garner a bit more responsibility about the way they behave. You know, you, you want to just come back to it. Otherwise it's a cumulative over time.

• 1:12:26Jen Cohen?

  I know. I guess like you don't know me at all. I know, I understand that. But like, I laugh about a lot of people who, and maybe that you're gonna say because I'm overly critical perhaps, but about manifestation. Like I'm manifesting this.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, the spiritual world of woo woo.

• 1:12:42Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, like woo woo. Yeah, like, and I'm like the anti.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  Yes, you're super practical.

• 1:12:47Jen Cohen?

  I'm super practical.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, same. I'm a Virgo.

• 1:12:49Jen Cohen?

  I'm a Virgo too.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:50Jen Cohen?

  When's your birthday?

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  September 10th.

• 1:12:52Jen Cohen?

  September 16th.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:12:54Jen Cohen?

  So yeah, I'm a Virgo. And I like things that are like, you know, practical, right?

• 1:12:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:58Jen Cohen?

  Like, I'm not gonna like just think myself into getting what I want, you know? I'm gonna chase what I want.

• 1:13:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:13:05Jen Cohen?

  And then, so then the, the manifestation people like, you don't chase, you wait, you, you hold space and it comes to you, but.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  So for me, it's always both.

• 1:13:15Jen Cohen?

  Okay. So how does, where does?

• 1:13:16Speaker 02

  It's no either or. Like the brain thinks in terms of duality, good, bad, right, wrong. You know, and that's why people tend to go, well, if a relationship doesn't work, it's like, fuck it. You know, it's like, everything tends to be a bit too reactionary. And what about if it could just be both? Recognize that we're frequency based beings, you know, and that our energy does have like that girl who's talking to me in a live, her phone's off.

• 1:13:36Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  She turns her phone off at the end, sees what time we finish and woo woo, you know, hey presto, abracadabra, this fucking client who she's been trying to get for seven months. Shows up. There's something in that.

• 1:13:47Jen Cohen?

  Yes, and I believe in that.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. So she now energetically has stepped into a different iteration of herself that isn't in this world of there's something wrong with me and I have to constantly perfect myself. So the way I would phrase it, she became more available to life, which is where life then met her at a different vibration. Now, can she just sit around and go, oh, I'm at this new vibration? No, she has to reply to the person, say, great to hear from you. I'd love to work with you. And then whatever the next steps would be for this new type of person, she also has to be proactive in.

• 1:14:19Jen Cohen?

  Right, right. So you think it's a combination of both?

• 1:14:22Speaker 02

  My, my friend in college, he had a great expression, um, because I started all of this philosophizing at a very young age. And here I would sit under a tree and talk about consciousness and it was fun as 18, 19 year old punk kids.

• 1:14:33Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  But he would say, you know, believe in Allah, but tie up your camels.

• 1:14:38Jen Cohen?

  Yeah. That's right. No, I, yeah.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  So, so that to me kind of captures it, right? Like, you know, yeah, like there's a, whether you call it God or Jesus or Mohammed or whoever or fucking Buddha, that's great. Have your dogmas. I'm not going to poo poo you for it. And, you know, be as responsible you can be as a co-creator in life.

• 1:14:54Jen Cohen?

  Yes.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  So that's where the woman who's, okay, she's a single mom, but she has community and an ex and parents, you know, she's not fully alone, but she could also say, okay, maybe life will bring me some unexpected lover or a friend or a neighbor who loves kids in the next three or four weeks, you know, be open to the miracles too.

• 1:15:14Jen Cohen?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  We tend to default to, it's all up to us and for that reason, you know, fuck life and woe is me. You know, it's like, I think it's, we make room for both.

• 1:15:22Jen Cohen?

  I think, but like you, could you see very much, because I was actually very nervous, but I started this podcast by saying I was a little nervous because before I met you, because I thought you were going to be way more woo woo.

• 1:15:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:35Jen Cohen?

  You know?

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 1:15:36Jen Cohen?

  But you're not so woo woo. You're like, you seem to be like very much.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  Super down to earth. To me, you know, again, going back to the monikers at the beginning, a spiritual teacher, I'm actually more of a physicist, right?

• 1:15:47Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  But, but my physicist lens incorporates code, right? So I'm more of a tech guy also, but even with your mind, right? Because it's programming. So that's not woo woo. Because if you're living in a world where you think that you're not enough, that, that's, that's a physical piece of code.

• 1:16:03Jen Cohen?

  Yes, a hundred percent agree.

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  So I could then attribute what people might think is woo woo as to why do they keep attracting a partner who's emotionally unavailable or maybe even a little abusive? Now, that's not woo woo, you know, they just need to move to a better city or something. Well, no, to me it's more, no, it makes sense energetically, if the way they view themselves is less than, they're going to attract woo woo, people who will mirror that.

• 1:16:27Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  So I'm, yeah, I'm not, I, I, I understand the whole world of vibration and quantum physics and all of that, but to me, it's very practical.

• 1:16:35Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  It really is. It seems like miracles, like that that girl got this text or, you know, the other things that have transpired with a myriad of people that I've helped, like some woman had stage four endometriosis, gone a couple of months after the end of the mastermind. That's not woo woo. That's. That's fricking science.

• 1:16:50Jen Cohen?

  But why and why is that? Because she let go?

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  Let go of the, in her world, her needs don't matter. Cause she grew up as a kid where her needs weren't met. She wasn't given any attention.

• 1:17:00Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  So especially as a woman, then her system's shutting down. Her needs don't matter. Whatever she wants is really irrelevant.

• 1:17:05Jen Cohen?

  Right. So it manifests physically.

• 1:17:07Speaker 02

  And she attracted boyfriends who would never pay her the time of day or were abusive. And eventually it shows up physiologically, physiologically. Yeah. The mind and body connection is not so much a connection as it's a continuum.

• 1:17:18Jen Cohen?

  Yeah. It's a continuum. I would agree with that for sure.

• 1:17:21Speaker 02

  So if you're living in a state of stress, I mean, you talk to any like real like far like scientist scientist who's like, no, no, unless there's actual evidence and you know, documented study, they're still going to say stress is the number one cause of death, right? Or disease.

• 1:17:36Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, stress for sure.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  So what's stress? It's the way you're relating to your environment, which is based on perception.

• 1:17:41Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  So if you can change the eyes with which you view the world, then you're going to change your physiological response to it. That's not woo woo. That's physics.

• 1:17:47Jen Cohen?

  That's physics. Hold on, I think I have another question. Just want to make sure before I, hold on a minute, because I don't want to.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  That's where Wayne Dyer had a great quote. He said, you know, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

• 1:17:58Jen Cohen?

  But I love that. Yeah.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  Now, is it because they change or is it because I have a new view?

• 1:18:03Jen Cohen?

  It's because, it's because you have a new view.

• 1:18:05Speaker 02

  Physics talks about the observer effect, you know, the, the, the split, the electron test with the two split test, you know, like whether it's a wave or it's particles, all of this, this is all physics. So if you're the observer in a particular environment, you're going to see the way that you see. And then you're going to, you're going to therefore like impose your particular vantage point on a circumstance while someone else would have seen something completely different. Yet it's the same environment. Ramana Maharshi, one of the greatest spiritual teachers, or in terms of legacy, he would say people would come to his ashram for satsang, which is where they'd come and listen and ask questions and he'd sit there and do his best to answer it. And he said, it's like people arrive with a palm full of gunpowder. Some people's gunpowder is completely submerged with water.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  And for some other people it's damp and for some other people it's really bone dry. And he says, I'm saying the same thing to the whole group. But depending on their capacity to hear, it will elicit the kind of response they have. The person who's got completely submerged might go, ah, it's kind of interesting. I didn't get much from it. They did, but they're not aware of it yet. The person with bone dry gunpowder has the biggest epiphany. Same thing, but depending on the readiness of someone's consciousness, you're going to interact with life at that, that level.

• 1:19:19Jen Cohen?

  I like that. It's so true. It is so true.

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, so that's the beauty of like, whether we call it karma or whatever this incarnation is about, that you're gonna have to revisit the different arenas of life, those buckets we talked about. Why does a girl continue to attract a guy that's not emotionally available or was a bit abusive? She's the consistent theme. Maybe, just maybe, you know, she's got some story of like, she's not lovable or she's trash or, and so she keeps attracting guys and circumstances to reflect that until she transcends that. She goes to a different timeline because she's now viewing herself differently, feeling differently. And as a result, life will present new circumstances.

• 1:19:55Jen Cohen?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  That's physics.

• 1:19:57Jen Cohen?

  She changes the pattern herself because she's otherwise living it over and over again until you learn it for yourself.

• 1:20:03Speaker 02

  Yes. And then most people live the other way around where they think, I want to change my circumstances before I'll change.

• 1:20:09Jen Cohen?

  Right, but you follow yourself wherever you go.

• 1:20:11Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:20:12Jen Cohen?

  Right?

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  And that's called seeing as believing, which I say is also called waiting.

• 1:20:15Jen Cohen?

  Seeing is believing.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  Is also called.

• 1:20:18Jen Cohen?

  It's called waiting. Yes. I love your little, you're like, your wordsmithing or your analogies or your word stuff. You do that all the time, huh?

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  All the time because it helps people understand something that's kind of otherwise a little bit over their head. Like you said, you've got to really focus when you're talking to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:32Jen Cohen?

  Because normally, because it's not what I normally talk about, right? So, and I have to just kind of like pay attention, you know? I can't, I can't just like interject with something because it's.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Just cash this one in and just like.

• 1:20:44Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I cannot, I cannot cash this one. I gotta be like.

• 1:20:47Speaker 02

  Well, good. I'm glad that you're on your A game.

• 1:20:49Jen Cohen?

  I, I have to be. I mean, it's a lot, it's a lot.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:52Jen Cohen?

  I, because I know you, um, like, I'm trying to think of some, what do people ask you about? Like layman's people like me, that, what's the most common question that they would ask you?

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Phew, I mean, they run the gamut, as you said, usually in the arena of relationships, something to do with, you know? I mean, relationships, health and wealth, you know, they're the big buckets, right? They're the real main three.

• 1:21:16Jen Cohen?

  What's the main, give me one question in each that they ask the most.

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Um, health tends to be specific to whatever someone's dealing with, right? So, you know, why have I created or why do I have this particular sickness? And so I love to make the correlation for people between disease and disease. So, disease being the physical manifestation over time. Of dis-ease, which is the absence of ease. Meaning if my system's not at peace, and just again, biologically, I'm gonna be in the sympathetic part of my autonomic nervous system, meaning I'm in fight or flight, because I'm not at ease. When we're at peace, we're in the parasympathetic, which is rest and digest and rejuvenate, right? So that's just physics again. But if the way I perceive my environment is I'm like, I'm scared, or I'm like, under stress, then my biology has to follow that.

• 1:22:03Speaker 02

  So then dis-ease, absence of ease, well, so just even understanding that cascade, regardless of what you're dealing with,

• 1:22:09Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:09Speaker 02

  can help people to be more responsible about, okay, in ways that I don't know how they have to manage it, whether they get out of a narcissistic, horrible relationship, or they leave a toxic job, or they just need to learn to take time and breathe and have a better sleep routine, or meditate, just to imbibe ease more in your system and see what your body does.

• 1:22:27Jen Cohen?

  Totally.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  That's one.

• 1:22:28Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:28Speaker 02

  Relationships, again, are going to be the reflection of your relationship with yourself. So if you're in a place where you think you're not safe, then you're always gonna see something your partner does as potentially threatening. If you think that you're not enough, you're always gonna see something your partner does as a judgment of you, you know? So it's all a mirror. The whole life and the dimension of time and space and people is all just a mirror. So again, that's the good news. There's the good news and the bad news, because most people don't wanna be that responsible.

• 1:22:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I'd rather blame my husband.

• 1:22:56Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, it's much easier.

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:58Jen Cohen?

  Exactly.

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  Seems that, but in the long term, it's not, because you're actually slowly killing yourself. That's what I thought was really funny, the Dutch girl, the woman, you know, she said, holy shit, when she realized her mechanism for survival, which is it's all up to me, which is the white knuckling of, I've gotta make care, make, take, take care of everything. She said, I realized the way that I'm surviving is actually what's killing me.

• 1:23:16Jen Cohen?

  Right, isn't that always though, the way it is?

• 1:23:18Speaker 02

  Everyone, but it was just beautiful that she could see it unprompted by me. You know, that's what happens when the lights go on in the back room, you're like, holy shit, I've been doing this since I was a kid. And so she thinks that she's doing something from a, you know, a smart place of like, well, it's all up to me, so I'm gonna push through, but actually, that's a lie, and the mechanism she's using is what's actually her, her uncoming.

• 1:23:41Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, you know, it's funny. It's like that's a blind spot, though, right?

• 1:23:44Speaker 02

  It is.

• 1:23:44Jen Cohen?

  Right? Because usually your best quality tends to also be your worst quality.

• 1:23:49Speaker 02

  Yes, there are two sides of the same coin. And that's why I said we can't be hard accountable for that, which we're oblivious to. That's where compassion comes in, right?

• 1:23:55Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  Because people can be very self righteous when they see what's going on. And that doesn't help, you know, it's about just being kind and realizing everyone's doing the best they can with the limits of their awareness.

• 1:24:04Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:05Speaker 02

  So then for the wealth, for the other bucket, to finish the answer to your question, you know, most people, I'll give one example. I was talking to someone I met briefly and she's a single mum too. And she's like trying to, she said, I'm in a great place with my kids and my energy and I feel really good with my health and her choices around food and da, da, da. And she said, now I'm ready to create abundance, which all sounds beautiful, you know, and that fits into the whole world of spirituality. And I said, well, therein lies your problem. And she's like, what do you mean? I said, you don't create abundance, you reveal it. Abundance is. So what we want to do is actually instead of trying to create it, we want to dissolve what is your illusion that you can't access it.

• 1:24:40Jen Cohen?

  Jesus, I mean, I'm telling you, I need a hard drink after I speak to you. I don't even drink. Does everybody say this to you? Like, who are you, who are you friends with? Like, who are your friends?

• 1:24:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:51Jen Cohen?

  Are your friends like you?

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Um, some of them are. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't, I mean, I'm on a show with you. I want to obviously give as much, you know, content that it's valuable to your listeners.

• 1:24:59Jen Cohen?

  No, I think it's amazing.

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  But I shoot the shit. I play golf and.

• 1:25:02Jen Cohen?

  You're like a normal, you're like a regular dude. Normal things too.

• 1:25:05Speaker 02

  Of course, of course. But also understand the mechanics of how life works. And so it's fun because then I get to create and make shit up and, and play in the world that is this rich tapestry called, you know, planet earth.

• 1:25:16Jen Cohen?

  But do you have most of your friends like that you hang out with, do they think that you're at your level of consciousness?

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  Maybe not in this regard, but they have their own levels of expertise. I have friends who are great musicians or great playwrights and, you know, like everyone's got their own different qualities.

• 1:25:30Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, of course. Of course. I'm kind of teasing you, but you know.

• 1:25:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get it and I appreciate the compliment, but I, I, I guess I have a unique ability to understand the power of language and to, you know, discern in a very precise way, you know, making things that are otherwise profound, palatable for people.

• 1:25:45Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  Or not so.

• 1:25:46Jen Cohen?

  Or, or not palatable. Like, so you're not even, you can't even say create because that. That means that you're thinking that you don't have the, it's not there in the first place.

• 1:25:55Speaker 02

  Correct. So you're under the illusion that something's missing, right? Isn't it subtle?

• 1:25:58Jen Cohen?

  Yes.

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  It's so subtle, but it's so profound. Like often people will say, my stuff, God, it's so, it's so simple, but it's really not easy.

• 1:26:06Jen Cohen?

  Exactly. Well, that's the thing. Like I'm thinking like, okay, what am I doing to my, like, what am I doing in my life? That's holding me back that I'm not even aware of.

• 1:26:14Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah.

• 1:26:15Jen Cohen?

  Right?

• 1:26:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you will be, and that's okay. You're human.

• 1:26:17Jen Cohen?

  Right? And like, where are my blind, like, I think that, oh, I'm so self, I think, oh, my EQ is so great. Like, oh, but I know my blind spots, but as I'm talking to you, I'm like, I bet you there's so many things that I have no idea. I'm a total mess, a total mess, and I don't even know it.

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  I was feeling great before Peter.

• 1:26:34Jen Cohen?

  Exactly. I was, I felt, I was super confident.

• 1:26:37Speaker 02

  You're awesome. No, I can tell. And I could guess, you know, you're in the same bucket of a lot of my clientele who are high end performers. But there's usually just this unnecessary pressure, you know, the world of have to, like your friend will be perhaps not in that arena. If I get to, I could see that you would perhaps, you know, take that with a pinch of salt.

• 1:26:55Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:55Speaker 02

  You know, the feeling of you have to like, you know, like you put a lot of pressure on yourself. And there might be just a little bit more room for Jennifer to have a bit more freedom, a bit more joy, not take life so seriously. You know, and to just have a bit more ease about you and allow life to contribute to you as much as I'm sure you contribute to others.

• 1:27:14Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, that's actually, I think a lot of people would probably fit into that bucket. I think you're right.

• 1:27:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:20Jen Cohen?

  I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

• 1:27:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I'm guessing just because of who you are, the majority of your audience is probably women. They're probably very smart women. They're probably, as you said, high, high EQ. They're movers and shakers. They probably have families, but they also have businesses, whether they're, you know, really committed or it's a hobby, whatever. But they're dynamic women, right? Extraordinary women. And my typically in that realm, what I see is where there's become a little bit of a an exaggeration of the masculine qualities of being a little bit too driven, which can, can start to ill infiltrate the relationship. So maybe they've even attracted a man who perhaps isn't so much of a man. And he's become an extension of their children, you know, in the way that they have to manage or take care of them. So they maybe haven't made room for the softness of the feminine, you know, without getting into goddess language or any of that.

• 1:28:06Jen Cohen?

  No, but you're right. I've done a thing on, first of all, just to kind of let you know, I have a fifty fifty split, like a lot of my audience is men.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  Okay, cool.

• 1:28:14Jen Cohen?

  So, so that's the first thing, but I was gonna say, I've done other people's podcasts, not on this podcast so much, where I talk about that. Where I find that a lot of times, if you're a strong woman or you're successful, it, it, it can bleed into being too ma- into masculine energy, which then is kind of like a turn off. If you're trying to like attract a very alpha type of man.

• 1:28:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:37Jen Cohen?

  And so the ba- it's a very delicate balance.

• 1:28:40Speaker 02

  It is, it's tough, really, and I feel for both men and women, because men oftentimes, the little boy syndrome that's out there. You know, they're trying to do the best they can to compensate, which is really not being a man at all. Being more of a man is like, yeah, I struggle in this arena. You know, and just owning, owning it, right?

• 1:28:56Jen Cohen?

  But I think that a lot of women are single.

• 1:28:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:59Jen Cohen?

  Who are very successful.

• 1:29:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:01Jen Cohen?

  Because they, unfortunately, they're either too much in that masculine energy.

• 1:29:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:07Jen Cohen?

  But they don't see that.

• 1:29:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:09Jen Cohen?

  Right? And then they have, they put on this facade like, oh, I don't get, I don't need a man, or I don't want a man. And that becomes their like playbook, that becomes their.

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:17Jen Cohen?

  Talk.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Jen Cohen?

  Right? But, and the guy that they actually want, want a girl who's more feminine. And so it becomes this very, very difficult dance that happens.

• 1:29:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I see it. And, and it's, and it's, there's no simple answer, right? It's, it comes back to choice. For a woman who's driven, who's intelligent, who sees the world of possibility, and this world has become so much more accessible for all of us, right? Whether it's travel, or business, or startups, or investments, you know, it's like, it's, it's fun to be able to, but it's how can you maintain that sense of enthusiasm and drive while simultaneously embodying the softness, the approachability and the nurturance of a woman, right?

• 1:29:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  And that's, that, I'm not saying that's easy. Equally for men, who. Can now also be more sensitive. Like I make my own skincare products, right? I make a sugar scrub. Like I love.

• 1:30:03Jen Cohen?

  Who does?

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:30:04Jen Cohen?

  You do?

• 1:30:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I, because I like to take care of myself, right? But I'm also like, I like to be a fucking man's man and I wanna be with a woman who's not, you know, trying to outperform me or something. You know, it's like.

• 1:30:16Jen Cohen?

  But like, to me, that's like, that, I think that's what happens unfortunately.

• 1:30:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:20Jen Cohen?

  You know, it becomes competitive.

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  Yep. And that's again, coming from fear. It's coming from fear.

• 1:30:25Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:25Speaker 02

  And ironically, the means by which we're trying to garner attractiveness, you know, becoming attractive to somebody is the obstacle to it, right? So the woman oftentimes felt the need to become strong because she felt either inadequate or insecure, not safe. And so, okay, well, if I'm gonna make it, I need to make sure I'm financially independent and da, da, da, da, da, and all of these things. Nothing wrong with that method, but it makes you unavailable, right? Cause now you've actually strengthened the independence as opposed to creating, you know, some sort of companionship or a partnership.

• 1:30:56Jen Cohen?

  Totally.

• 1:30:57Speaker 02

  And then the boy or the man, you know, who's now trying to disprove he's like weak or trying to become the alpha, trying to become strong is really constantly reinforcing that he's not, which is equally unattractive to a woman.

• 1:31:09Jen Cohen?

  A hundred percent. That's why people who are like, for women anyway, you need to have a guy who's like super, like truly confident, who is truly like, it's like, that they're not intimidated by you, that they're not like, they don't feel like you're emasculating them because of your whatever you have, you know? It's very difficult. It's a very delicate balance.

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Interesting times. And so again, it comes down to awareness. It comes down to patience. It comes down to compassion with each other.

• 1:31:37Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  You know, like, hey, I've got this strong tendency to be driven and independent as a woman. And I know that's gonna be both unattractive to you, but also maybe at times challenging.

• 1:31:46Jen Cohen?

  But some, I'd say there's like a lot of guys who actually like it and it's like, or like rather have a girl who's like that. But there is like a body of men who like, that's, that's what they're not, they don't, they don't, they don't need another dude. They don't need to like be dating another dude.

• 1:32:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:32:02Jen Cohen?

  Right? They wanna have someone who has a softness.

• 1:32:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:04Jen Cohen?

  And I, I talk with this all the time with, with, with people, like all the time because it's, I know I gotta wrap this up here.

• 1:32:11Speaker 02

  That's okay. No, but I think it's where we can have more patience and compassion with ourselves and others that we're all doing the best we can with the limits of our awareness. And just to be aware. Even of your tendencies and share those, that's a form of intimacy.

• 1:32:22Jen Cohen?

  Totally.

• 1:32:22Speaker 02

  To be able to say, hey, you know, I have this particular idiosyncrasy and I know that could be a turn off, but I at least want to be open and that that softens it immediately. Once you can talk about it.

• 1:32:33Jen Cohen?

  I think so. I think once anything is out in the open.

• 1:32:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Jen Cohen?

  It it like that becomes you become more vulnerable. That's attractive also, right?

• 1:32:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, it really is.

• 1:32:41Jen Cohen?

  I think so. Oh, my God. Well, Peter, thank you for being here. I know you're moving away. I won't say where. Is it like a secret?

• 1:32:46Speaker 02

  Yes, it is.

• 1:32:46Jen Cohen?

  Okay, good. Well, I'm not going to say where it is. He's going to Mars. No, I'm sorry. So I really do. I appreciate you coming on this before you you leave town. When do you leave?

• 1:32:56Speaker 02

  Uh, within the next two weeks, so pretty soon. But I come back and forth. I wasn't based here, but I I was still coming and out of LA. So I was up in the Tahoe region, as mentioned. So now.

• 1:33:05Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:05Speaker 02

  But I come in, do my live events. So if anyone wants to come to one of those, they can find that on my website.

• 1:33:09Jen Cohen?

  I want to come to one of them. I want to see you in action. I want to see you do these things.

• 1:33:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. It will help put it into perspective.

• 1:33:15Jen Cohen?

  A hundred percent it will. I would love.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  Because then you experience it vicariously. The number of people who come up to see me often, like, oh, my God, I could see myself in all three or four of the people you spoke to.

• 1:33:24Jen Cohen?

  And I can see that you're good at it because like you can, it it comes naturally for you, you know, like, I think it's a gift that you probably, obviously you have, right? Like you're, you pick up on something and then you just kind of keep on going with it.

• 1:33:35Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:33:36Jen Cohen?

  And I'm sure you've done, I I can imagine, you probably really helped a lot of people.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  Seems that way. It's certainly the people that come up to me or, you know, stop me on the streets or send messages is very, very flattering and humbling. So, yeah, I'll I'll keep at it.

• 1:33:49Jen Cohen?

  Oh, yeah, please. I think you're onto something there. I think I think you're.

• 1:33:52Speaker 02

  Removing, ending, human suffering. Yeah, okay.

• 1:33:54Jen Cohen?

  I like that. And freedom. I love it all. Where could people find your Instagram is the best place to see you?

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, on social, Peter Crone, and then my website. If they want to join Freedom or maybe a Mastermind in the future, that's just petercrone.com. Yeah.

• 1:34:07Jen Cohen?

  Oh, thank you, Peter.

• 1:34:09Speaker 02

  Thank you. A pleasure to be with you, fellow Virgo.

• 1:34:10Jen Cohen?

  Oh, yes, exactly. Pleasure is all mine. Thank you. Bye.