From Shadow Work to Light Work: How to Actually Heal | Keila Shaheen - EP 754

Shadow work helps you uncover the hidden parts of yourself, but what happens after that? In this episode of Passion Struck, I sit down with Keila Shaheen, the million-copy bestselling author of The Shadow Work Journal, to explore the step most people miss: integration. While shadow work helps us confront the “invisible bag” of childhood wounds and hidden traits we carry, it is only part of the equation. Keila explains why true healing requires shifting from reflection to action—what she calls light work. We explore her newest book, The Light Work Journal, and how it helps people move out of the “gray area” of exhaustion into intentional awareness and energized living. Passion Struck is the #1 alternative health and personal growth podcast dedicated to human flourishing and the science of mattering. Check the full show notes here: https://passionstruck.com/light-work-journal-keila-shaheen-passion-struck/Explore companion insights for this episode at: https://www.theignitedlife.netResources & LinksExplore companion insights: https://www.theignitedlife.netThank You to Our SponsorsLimited Time Offer – Check out Function Health— 160+ lab tests a year for $365. Join at https://www.functionhealth.com/tcm/passion or use gift code PASSION25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. Connect with JohnKeynotes, books, podcast, and resources: https://linktr.ee/John_R_MilesChildren’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/We also dive into:Why so many people feel a sense of quiet disorientation—and how to move from reactive, autopilot living into clarityThe difference between System 1 vs. System 2 thinking and how it impacts your daily lifeWhy exhaustion—not anxiety or depression—is the dominant emotional state todayThe role of a healthy ego as a stabilizing force rather than something to eliminateHow noticing “glimmers” can rewire your mindset and shift your emotional baselinePractical ways to protect your energy and show up as your most authentic selfThis episode is a roadmap for anyone who has done the inner work but still feels stuck. Support the MovementEvery human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. https://StartMattering.comDisclaimerThe Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not substitute professional medical or psychological advice. Connect with John Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/Book John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Keynotes, books, podcast, and resources: https://linktr.ee/John_R_MilesChildren’s Book —...

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00John R. Miles?

  Coming up next on Passion Struck.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  Becoming aware of the inner voices within you and what they're doing, or what function they have in yourself. And then striving for wholeness, which is found in the present moment. If you're aware of all your senses here and now, then you can show up more presently and consciously versus if you're not feeling your senses and your mind is somewhere else and you're striving for perfection, then that really takes you outside and into a liminal place that doesn't exist that we're creating in our minds.

• 0:37John R. Miles?

  Welcome to Passion Struck. I'm your host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore the art of human flourishing and what it truly means to live like it matters. Each week, I sit down with changemakers, creators, scientists, and everyday heroes to decode the human experience and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest expression of who we're capable of becoming. Whether you're designing your future, developing as a leader, or seeking deeper alignment in your life, this show is your invitation to grow with purpose and act with intention. Because the secret to a life of deep purpose, connection, and impact is choosing to live like you matter.

• 1:25John R. Miles?

  Hey friends and welcome back to episode 754 of Passion Struck. Over the past few weeks, we've been building something intentionally together in this April series, Purpose by Design. We began with Arthur Brooks, exploring the growing crisis of meaning. Then with Corinne Lowe, we looked at how the systems around us quietly shape our lives. Last week with Claude Steele, we examined how identity and perception influence how we show up. And in our last episode with Angela Myers, we went even deeper to the fundamental human need to feel like we matter. But today, we turn inward. Because if you don't feel like you matter, there's often a deeper reason why. And that reason isn't always visible on the surface. It lives.

• 2:10John R. Miles?

  And the parts of you that you've ignored, suppressed, or never fully understood. The parts of you that were shaped long before you had a choice. And that's where today's guest comes in. My guest, who's returning for the second time, is Keila Shaheen, creator of the bestselling Shadow Work Journal and her latest work, The Light Work Journal. In this conversation, we explore something essential. The relationship between your shadow and your light. Because so many people today are doing the inner work, but they get stuck there. They analyze their past, they process their pain, they revisit their wounds, but they never fully step into who they're becoming. And what Kayla introduces is a powerful reframe that growth isn't just about confronting your shadow.

• 2:55John R. Miles?

  It's about learning how to express your light. In today's conversation, we explore the difference between shadow work and light work. Why so many people get stuck in self-analysis instead of transformation. Kayla discusses how early experiences shape the identity that you carry into adulthood, and how to begin showing up as your most authentic, energized self. At its core, this episode is about a powerful truth that becoming who you are isn't about fixing yourself. It's about integrating yourself. Before we dive in, one quick note. If you want to go deeper into this Purpose by Design series, I'm sharing companion reflections and tools at theignitedlife.net to help you not just understand these ideas, but actually live them. Now, let's dive into my conversation with Keila Shaheen.

• 3:38John R. Miles?

  Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life that matters. Now, let that journey begin.

• 3:51John R. Miles?

  I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome back my friend Keila Shaheen on Passion Struck. Kayla, it's great to see you again.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Hi, everyone. Great to see you too, John. Thanks for having me.

• 4:02John R. Miles?

  First time you were on the show, we discussed your incredible first book, The Shadow Work Journal, which if anyone is not familiar with this, which I'd be surprised, this book has sold more than a million copies and it's an amazing story because you truly show the incredible journey of self-publishing and having a book that just went completely viral to now you work with major publishers, but it's just such a tremendous success story. But now you have this other book, in addition to the other four or five that you've written in between called The Light Work Journal that we're going to be talking about today, A Guide to Illuminating Your Strengths and Living Your Purpose.

• 4:45John R. Miles?

  I think where I'd want to start, Kayla, is for millions of people out there who understand what shadow work is, what's the difference between shadow work and light work?

• 4:56Speaker 01

  Shadow work is all about turning towards what's uncomfortable or unseen within you. So that could be your wounds, your patterns, your triggers, your projections, your past, your pains, your inner child. So all of this kind of revolves around the practice of shadow work. It's about trying to understand dialogue and integrate your hidden self, the one that's hiding, or the one that you've never cared to see or look at. And it's so full circle. You mentioned the beginning of my journey, writing The Shadow Work Journal, self-published,

• 5:36Speaker 01

  then I got taken by publishers that I work with today. My last book that I've written with the publishers is called The Light Work Journal. And light work is this missing component to shadow work. It's what you do with the wisdom that you've gained from that encounter with your inner self, from your hidden self. Light work isn't pretending everything is positive and love and light and bubbly rainbows. It's about showing up integrated. And with my work in shadow work, one of the big questions that I was asked

• 6:17Speaker 01

  was what does integration mean? And that word can sound a bit obscure and not like fully present to the mind when you're first encountering like integration.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  And what Lightwork does is it helps make integration a way of being, a showing up in the world. And yeah, so Lightwork is about leaning into your gifts, your strengths, learning how to rebuild your sense of self after you've done the deep digging and inner work that can often like shake us, fragment us, and question who we are. So it's a very important grounding practice to rebuild your sense of self, learn what your values are, if they've changed throughout the process, throughout your life experiences, and live

• 7:10Speaker 01

  out and share the wisdom that you've gained after doing the deep inner work. After going through a period of going to therapy, there comes a time when it's, okay, I'm ready to be on the other side of this. And this is what the Lightwork practice enables people to do.

• 7:29John R. Miles?

  Thank you for sharing that. And when I opened up the journal, you open it up with asking the reader to make a vow. And it would be, I, John, vow today to honor the light with me. I recognize that I'm a human being with depth, complexity, and the capacity to grow, and I commit myself to embracing my full self, both light and shadow, and it continues to go on. But why did you decide to start it with an intention?

• 7:57Speaker 01

  When I first wrote the Shadowwork Journal, I started it the same way. And it concretes things. It makes things real. When you write something down, it solidifies the intention. So I wanted to lay out this intention for others to take as their own and imprint it on their world, on their life journey.

• 8:23John R. Miles?

  Yeah, I think it's pretty powerful. One of the things I do every single morning is I go on a very early 5:00 AM walk. And the first thing that I do every day is I do an intention for how I want to live the day, what matters to me, what I prioritize. And I've been doing this now for probably seven years. I was having a conversation with Robin Sharma, and he was the one who said, John, start doing this. And a year from now, tell me how much your life has changed. And it was Incredible. And I say the same intention every single day practically. I mix it up a little bit,

• 9:03John R. Miles?

  but he was right. A year later, my life had shifted so much. And what I realized is I was so much more intentional about where I wanted to shine my light, so to speak. And I had really gotten out of many of the shadows in my own life that had been burying me. And it allowed me to really seek some help that I had been putting on the wayside. Have you heard other readers of your work tell you stories like this?

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Absolutely. There's so many. And when I think about putting down daily intentions, I think about the three, six, nine journal, which is another book that I've released. And this has been a daily ritual for me for years and years. So it looks like this, and you basically write your intention three, six, and nine times. And then you also write down the inspired actions that you're going to take throughout the day to honor that intention. I think the way we want to show up during the day is productive and optimized, but there's other ways to show up too, like being inspired, fulfilling what matters to you that day. So it's all great examples.

• 10:21John R. Miles?

  One of the things I want to talk about is you mentioned Robert Bly in the book, and he wrote about shadow and light this way. When we were young, we had a 360-degree personality. Energy rated out from all parts of us like a living globe of energy. But one day, we noticed that our parents didn't like certain parts of that ball. And they said, can't you be still? The reason I bring this up is, as I just wrote a children's book, and this poem by Robert Bly really sits at the heart of it. I think, and the statistics are alarming, so many of us, when we're children,

• 11:04John R. Miles?

  lose our sense of mattering through small statements like that, that our parents make. And I think sometimes our parents don't even realize the implications, because most of them don't understand effective neuroscience and that our sense of worth is formed by the adults and the projection that they mirror onto us. So what do you think about this invisible bag that so many of us carry? Is that what you mean when you talk about the shadow in our life?

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Absolutely, and that's a great example. So much of shadow work is looking at your past and doing inner work. And when we are small and children, something seemingly miniscule might happen, whether it's a parent telling you to put your pen and colors away, or being quiet, that all gets stuffed in the shadow. And even though it seemed like a small event, the feelings there were very big for the child. And those feelings we carry throughout our lives and they get stuffed in this bag, baggage.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  And that becomes the weight that we sometimes feel and can't explain. So it's really part of this investigation, pinpointing where does this come from? It's a good example.

• 12:27John R. Miles?

  And I'm just going to hit on Bly again, since, because you do as well. And later on, you say, he wrote, "We spend our life until we're 20, deciding what parts of ourselves to put in the bag, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again." And I think what he says is really profound here, because I've experienced this myself. I had a number of things that happened to me when I was young. Listeners are probably sick and tired of me talking about them. But those things when I was young and feeling like I was never enough and feeling invisible carried.

• 12:59John R. Miles?

  Into my adult life like they do for so many people. And then we wonder why we end up living the life we feel we should be living instead of living the one we could be living. And it's because we have put on these masks because we end up trying to be someone we're not and to the point we don't even realize who we are anymore. And then we find ourselves miserable. Right? And I cannot tell you how many people I talked to who, some of them realize it, but some of them I find who are still not there yet. And you discovered this earlier than a lot of people did.

• 13:40John R. Miles?

  What allowed you to have that insight, to have the self-awareness to learn it when you did?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  I think we're taught what we should be before we're able to discover who we really are. And going to your question, I've always been a very introspective person and that's been part of my personal journey is to get out of my shell and, but also to honor this introspection and to do something beautiful with it, which is what I hope to do through my writing. But what was your question? Let me think about it.

• 14:16John R. Miles?

  Well, my, my question was that for a lot of people, they feel stuck in their life and they blame it on work or they blame it on this or they blame it on that, but they never do the inner work to really figure out what's causing it. And I was one of them, so I lived through that for a very long time. And when I talk to people, I can see it in their answers for those who haven't figured it out yet. But you were much younger when you figured it out than most. How did you develop that self-awareness to figure out yourself that you were living in that state and the need to pull yourself out of it?

• 15:00Speaker 01

  So it was very important for me, especially in college and then graduating college, those big years where you're taking actions that are defining the rest of your life. So it was a big goal for me to understand if what I was doing at the time was feeding my soul, feeding this like inner fire in me because I knew what that felt like.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Or it was draining me and making me feel like a mummy. So I think just really understanding how things fell to my body from a young age. And that process of trying to figure things out, that's really where my self-discovery journey began. And then I started asking the questions, why does this feel so unaligned with who I am? Why do I show up so unauthentically in this setting versus so naturally and organically in this other setting? And then from there, I'd understand like what parts of myself and what parts of life I value most

• 16:05Speaker 01

  that are allowing me to be cultivated in certain settings or work positions or being around certain people. So that kind of led my navigation. And I think it'd be helpful for anyone that's out there who may be feeling drained or uninspired or unsure of how they want to show up into the world. It's always a good sign to pay attention to your body. You can feel the aliveness, the sparks, the inner fire when you're following the right path of growth and becoming. So yeah, I think that's an important aspect.

• 16:48John R. Miles?

  So something in the journal that caught my eye was you described consciousness is not about harnessing, controlling your life, but about surrendering into awareness, which you were in part just discussing. But when I started to think more deeply about this and this concept, because of my first book, Passion Struck, I have a chapter about becoming a conscious engager. What I was really trying to talk about without making it too sciency is this whole concept. Psychologists have been talking about this since William James. And I look at the work of Nobel laureate Danny Kahneman when he wrote the book Thinking Fast and Slow. And when I think about system one,

• 17:30John R. Miles?

  That's what I think is the state that people find themselves in about ninety to ninety-five percent of the time. It's when we're in this unconsciousness type of living. I describe it like we're living like a pinball. And to me, consciousness, which is really about being meta-aware, is really, how do you hone in on that system too? Like, how do you get better at that crystalline-like clarity that moves you from disorientation to direction? Do you see it the same way, looking at it from that type of lens?

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. And I don't think it's possible to be aware of everything all at once, but internally, having that awareness first before diving into reactivity is a very important aspect of building your, increasing your state of consciousness in the moment.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  And our conscious awareness is composed of our ego and our persona, which aren't necessarily bad. So it's also becoming aware of the inner voices within you and what they're doing, and what function they have in yourself. And then striving for wholeness, which is found in the present moment. If you're aware of all your senses here and now, then you can show up more presently and consciously versus if you're not feeling your senses and your mind is somewhere else and you're striving for perfection, then that really

• 19:17Speaker 01

  takes you outside and into a liminal place that doesn't exist, but we're creating in our minds.

• 19:26John R. Miles?

  You frame, as we've been talking, that light work is tending to that part of us that's meeting the world that we live in.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:36John R. Miles?

  For someone who's listening to this, how is that different than self-improvement or personal development that a lot of people hear? Because I think it's a deeper state.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Light work, it's practical. It's also spiritual. It can be, if you allow it to be. And I like to use the analogy of

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Your light is your energy. It's what you show up to the world with. It could be seen as like the clothes and the shoes that you put on and step out into the world in. And if we don't have that, Yeah. then we can show up vulnerably and raw and unprotected. And in those states, we can go into fear and start to grasp onto external things, maybe someone else's persona or ego, and you embody that, but it's not yours. And so it's really important to create your own source of light so that you don't become porous and soak in

• 20:42Speaker 01

  this essential energy from things that are temporary and outside of you. Because when those things disappear, then you're left empty-handed and confused and drained. So this practice is really about cultivating your inner resilience, your strength, your self-concept, and it goes hand in hand with personal development. That there's just the spiritual layer of trust and understanding, the shadow and light, and how we can balance these polar energies within ourselves.

• 21:23John R. Miles?

  Before we continue, I want to pause for a moment because if there's one thread connecting everything we've been talking about in this series, it's this. Your sense of mattering is shaped from the inside out. And what Kayla is describing in this episode, this idea of shadow work and light work is deeply connected to something I've been researching for years. Why so many people lose their sense of mattering in the first place? Because often it doesn't happen all at once, it happens gradually. Through experience where you felt unseen, misunderstood, or like you had to become someone else to be accepted. And over time, you start to disconnect from who you really are. That's what my new book, The Mattering Effect, is all about. Understanding how that disconnection happens, and more importantly, how to reclaim it. If today's episode resonates with you, you can preorder The Mattering Effect now.

• 22:07John R. Miles?

  Available October 6. And now, a quick break for our sponsors. Thank you for supporting those who support the show.

• 22:19John R. Miles?

  You're listening to Passion Struck right here on the Passion Struck Network. Now, let's return to the conversation with Kayla Shaheen.

• 22:28John R. Miles?

  When I think about this, sometimes I wonder, is light work more about becoming who you truly are? Or do you think it's more about expressing who you've always been?

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Becoming who you truly are, or expressing how you've always been?

• 22:50John R. Miles?

  Is it becoming who you truly are? Or is it more you're discovering or expressing who you've always been under the shadow that you've been hiding for so long?

• 23:03Speaker 01

  I think it's expressing who you truly are in the moment. So a combination of those. There's the expression, which is an important part of light work. It's the doing, it's the being, it's the actions that cultivates. And then who you truly are, because we are constantly evolving. So who you were in the past may not necessarily be who you truly are today. And you can tap into who you truly are in the present moment. So I think that is what feels most right for me, at least.

• 23:45John R. Miles?

  Kayla, one of the things I know about myself is I'm very introspective. And I tend to like ponder things a lot, especially if I find something that's bothering me about myself. And oftentimes, what that has caused in the past is I spend too much time spending thoughts in the shadow work.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:09John R. Miles?

  What happens when a listener, let's say, stays too long in the shadow work? And what I mean by this is they're constantly analyzing, processing, and revisiting their pain instead of doing those intentional moves into their light.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  That's a great question, and I had to learn this the hard way through my own experiences, especially because a lot of my work does center around the shadow archetype. And I spent years and years studying the shadow, writing about it, diving into my own shadows, and there are some risks of diving too deeply into this work and staying there. Looking within yourself is so important and beautiful, and it's such a hard step to take. And because you can find so much truth there, you'll want to continue digging and searching, but that can easily turn into self-absorption.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  And you can endlessly circle your pains and your wounds, and because of that, you'll miss opportunities where you can show up and shine your light and your wisdom. So I think there's no end to healing. It's an ongoing process. Shadow work is an ongoing process. And cultivating ongoing shadow awareness is important throughout all of life. But we need to balance this awareness and this practice and work with the light, which is the other side of the coin, to continue evolving and showing up as a more expanded version of yourself

• 25:53Speaker 01

  and really being embodied versus just staying internal. Shadow work definitely humbles you, and at the same time, it can be draining for people. And that's why grounding is such an important part of doing the inner work. And then light work comes in to mobilize you, to help you build again once you've deconstructed and picked things apart. And it also helps you energize yourself, where shadow work can drain, light work can energize. And that's really important for us to continue moving, to continue inspiring those around us, to continue becoming a beacon of light,

• 26:36Speaker 01

  especially when maybe your inner light embodiment and someone next to you is going through the shadow work. Witnessing you in that state is inspiring, it's motivating, and it helps others see the light at the end of their own tunnels.

• 26:56John R. Miles?

  Kayla, I remember when I was at Lowe's, I was part of this really phenomenal team of leaders. It was amazing what five of us were able to get done. But I remember our boss, who was the Chief Information Officer, was getting more and more frustrated with us. And one time, we're in the middle of a staff meeting and he goes, "You know what is killing you guys? It's three letters." And he slams his fist on the ground and he says, "It's EGO. You all have such big egos that it's killing how you guys are working together and you need to eliminate it." So I bring this example up because you challenge in the book the idea that the ego is something we need to eliminate.

• 27:40John R. Miles?

  What does a healthy aligned ego actually look like in someone's life?

• 27:46Speaker 01

  There's a visual. So right now, I'm getting my master's at Pacifica Graduate Institute. And this reminded me during one of the residentials, one of the first classes in person that we took together, the professor drew a circle.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  And she drew a straw going through the circle.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And then she drew little tiny holes in the straw. Everything that was in the circle represents the unconscious.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  The straw represents the ego.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  And what happens when the straw is ruptured, or ripped, or broken,

• 28:41Speaker 01

  it becomes overwhelming for the psyche to contain all that resides in the ego. So that's why I emphasize that the ego has a purpose. And the goal of inner work is not to eliminate the ego. That can be self-destructive. But to allow the ego to contain in a healthy way all that resides in the unconscious. If you don't, then it'll just completely corrupt the stability there and the purpose of the ego.

• 29:25John R. Miles?

  So if you're a listener, I mean, imagine you're staring at a, at a target to shoot bone arrow at, and in the bull's eye is the self, and radiating from that is light. And then around that self is your ego, and on either side of it is your persona, which I'll let you discuss, or your shadow, and then consciousness or unconsciousness in this ecosystem. So how do the persona and shadow work with each other or against each other?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  The persona is like the ego's helper. The persona helps shape the mask, the roles that we show up in society as. So the persona and the ego go very hand in hand. And the shadow is everything that we're not aware of. So part of light work is understanding these aspects of the psyche and realigning them so that they represent your whole truth, and they're not representing external things or influences, things that are not aligned with who you are and what you value.

• 30:35John R. Miles?

  I think you have a quote in here that kind of does a good job expressing this. You have, "The lotus flower grows in muddy murky water, yet rises above the surface to bloom in pristine beauty. Shadow work is the mud, light work is the bloom, and one can't exist without the other." I think that's a great metaphor to see how this works.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Love metaphors, and especially now that it's spring, it's very much alive in me. And it has been studying shadow and light, seeing our inner selves as like this landscape that we're gardening. Shadow work is picking the weeds out, pruning what is complete and finished, and then digging through all that dirt. And then light work is that bloom that's tending to the garden, and also planting new seeds of belief as well. It's like inner spiritual hygiene. So it's honoring what's to come and what's to bloom.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  I've also just gardening a lot here with my husband, so well, like the physical intentional practices can mean so much and reflect so much inside. I think that's also something I'd love to share with people is find something simple to nurture outside of you and let that represent something bigger in your own internal life.

• 32:06John R. Miles?

  One of the things that I didn't think about, probably because I wasn't trying to wrap my head around it, but is how much this idea of light work goes across different traditions and spiritual beliefs. And like being a Christian, I think what I always think of is let there be light. But my sister was a Buddhist and it's also very prevalent in Buddhism and Hinduism. And just look at, I work with a lot of people in India, just look at the festival of light that they have with Diwali.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:43John R. Miles?

  So it's amazing, even to the point of thinking of our North Star is a form of light.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Yes, archetype has been universal and expressed in so many different traditions and languages and metaphors. And in psychology, light represents consciousness. In mythology, it represents return. And there's so many other ways that we can see this archetype reflected in the world. So it's important to learn how to understand it yourself. How do you incorporate it best in your life?

• 33:26John R. Miles?

  So one of the helpful things I thought you did in the book is to try to help the reader discern whether an emotion that they're feeling calls for shadow work or light work. And I thought maybe we could just go through one or one or two of these. So I know something that plagues a lot of us is we have anger that just keeps resurfacing. So if you're feeling like powerless or your boundaries are being violated, how do you know whether you should work shadow work or whether you should lean into light work to solve it?

• 34:06Speaker 01

  I want to talk about this scale right here. It's a scale of conscious awareness. And this is a scale that I developed from reviewing over 148,000 anonymous emotional check-ins in the ZenFono app, which is an app that I created to help people track their emotions and do inner work. And out of all of that anonymous data, the common emotions were tired, chill, good, lethargic, indifferent, neutral, calm. And then the top emotion that people chose was tired. And this showed me that a lot of us are living in the gray areas.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  We're disconnected from what matters, what's meaning. So here you can see from shadow to light, and these were the most common check-in emotions. And this is a great tool for you to use during these moments of, should I do shadow work? Should I do the inner work? Or should I do light work? Do I need motivation? Do I need movement here? Am I stagnant? And if you're in that state of anger, then you can pinpoint, it's over here. It's one of the dense emotions. And anger is often hiding something deeper that needs to be met. That is a time for shadow work.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  And then if you're feeling disconnected or unmotivated, that can often feel like sadness on the surface. But that's a great sign that it's time to do light work. You need to tap into the spark. You need to cultivate or do some activities to help nurture that spark and help you reach higher, lighter states of emotions. So I hope that context gives help for this practice.

• 36:08John R. Miles?

  I think it definitely does, and I think it's a cornerstone of the book. Before you really start going into the practices that people can do. So start practicing more light work in their lives. So is there an area, given the time we have left? That if we were going to start going through some of these tools to give a listener a sense of these, where you would like to go?

• 36:35Speaker 01

  I think just considering the possibility of what it looks like to become your light self. We talk about our shadow self. I've done so many guided meditations on how to access and visualize and dialogue with the shadow aspect of ourself. And I'd love to encourage people to explore their light self. We often tend to be so hard on ourselves and pick our own selves apart. So it's time to rebuild and re-envision and use the beautiful power of our imagination to

• 37:17Speaker 01

  consider what the most empowered, embodied, the wisest, most expressive, creative version of ourselves could look like. And then when you have that image in your mind, it's something that you can step into in your daily practice. And that's just such a beautiful opportunity for us all, especially today when we can get so bogged down and there's so many pressures and anxieties. Know that it's always an option to take a step back and focus on cultivating this self.

• 37:55John R. Miles?

  And to give listeners an example of kind of the pattern that you have in the book, I'll just pick one, release fear. The way you do this is you start out with an exercise. And this one, it was you release trap fear by choosing one of the activities that you have in the next page. And then you go into a section of why should you do this? And this next section, you can talk about it, has things like touch the earth, but you can go over more of them. They're simple things to do.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  You can start very simple. Light work does not have to be extravagant, or boastful, or loud, or anything like that. It can be you looking in the mirror, reciting empowering affirmations, rooting yourself. Could be going outside, taking in the sunlight, and imagining that the sunlight is the source of strength that you need, or whatever you need in the moment. You could do a guided meditation for releasing fear. And there's a lot of bonus content in here that you can scan with a QR code to support the journaling practice. You can draw, use creative

• 39:06Speaker 01

  means and methods to express what you need to express in the moment. You can dance, put on a song, that's what I love to do, to tap into my light sometimes in the morning before I get into work. It just helps cultivate that energy movement in the body, and then you can channel that throughout your day. But there's so many examples, and everyone has their own unique ways of cultivating light and releasing fear. But these are great starting points.

• 39:37John R. Miles?

  Yeah, and one of the ones that I like, that I actually used this morning, was taking a shower. And sometimes I use hot water when I'm doing this, and sometimes, depending on what I'm trying to release, I use cold water. But that's another one that I saw was in the book.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, and using your imagination too. I put some cues in there. For the average things that you do during the day, you have a tool, and it's your imagination. So in the shower, you can sense that the water is draining away heaviness or pressure, and that in itself can switch up an entire day. So yeah, big aspect, using the imagination.

• 40:21John R. Miles?

  Caleb, one of the things that I know a lot of people feel these days is just like they're exhausted. And your research actually backs this up, that people aren't necessarily overwhelmed or depressed. They are exhausted. What does that reveal about how so many of us are actually living emotionally right now?

• 40:45Speaker 01

  There's so much pooling at us and draining us. And part of doing light work is knowing how to protect your energy. Your energy is the source of light. It's the greatest, most precious gift you have in this world to show up. But yeah, exhaustion, heaviness, being tired, feeling disconnected. These are states of numbness. And we can, because they're numb, we can easily stay put and we can easily stay there. So it's really important to find the practices. And there's so many diverse practices in here. It's not meant to be done all at once.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  It's meant for you to browse and choose what works for you. But to learn what's going to spark me up again, what's going to bring me energy. Dancing, for example, that brings me so much energy after doing something that's draining. Music, there are so many ways that we can refuel ourselves. And it's possible, just because we're, we're feeling like couch potatoes. One day doesn't mean you have to stay that way. You can shift the movement and the energy and shift the way that you show up and feel.

• 42:07John R. Miles?

  Talking about identity, what actually changes inside a person when they become someone who holds light in their life? I wanted to, the second part of that is, once they hold the light, how do they show up differently in relationships? When there might be conflict or criticism or something else going on?

• 42:26Speaker 01

  When you learn to hold and expand the space for your light, you become very comfortable in who you are, in your identity, in your gifts. When you walk into a room. You'll walk in rooted and confident in yourself. And people can feel that, they can feel that energy. And in your responses, if you're engaging in a conversation, you don't respond from a place of performance, but you respond from a place of genuine expression. So this sense of authenticity reverberates outwards.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  And like I mentioned before, you know how to set boundaries, protect your peace. And because of the way that you show up, it helps others feel more grounded around you too.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  And then in turn, with the shadow,

• 43:26Speaker 01

  you hold this balance of awareness of shadow and light. And in doing the shadow work, you can be more compassionate and less reactive, more thoughtful. I think the effects is just

• 43:42Speaker 01

  also nervous system regulation. You learn how to exercise what needs to be moved and felt. And this is a huge aspect of both shadow work and light work. But I hope that gives people a clear picture of how it looks like to move in the world with these two practices.

• 44:06John R. Miles?

  One last thing I wanted to talk about was there's this psychologist at UC Berkeley that I often like to talk about, Dacher Keltner. I'm not sure if you're familiar with Dacher or not, but he studies awe and compassion, and he found that most people experience moments of awe, not by seeing grand works of beauty, to say, seeing the Grand Canyon or a painting or some grandiose thing. It's more when they witness.

• 44:40John R. Miles?

  Glimmers, or what he calls moments of moral beauty. And you have this exercise in the book called the glimmer list, which I thought played into it. How does training yourself to notice moments like of glimmer or light actually rewire your mindset?

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Glimmers exist here and now, so it's also a beautiful grounding practice. And it's a different take on a gratitude practice, which people can often find cheesy. So glimmers help you see the sparks that are around you. And they're the opposite of triggers. Triggers, they activate your nervous system and they put you in fight or flight. But I think that's a really beautiful, exciting aspect of light work is to tap into, is to clear the fog in your perception so that you can see life more clearly. And then in that, you get the shimmering points.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  You get to, to be present with the beauty that's existing all around you.

• 45:47John R. Miles?

  I love it. Okay, one thing I didn't get a chance to ask you the last time we talked is for you, when you hear the word passion struck and becoming passion struck or being passion struck, what does that mean for you?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  I love those two words and together, they already create like a sense inside of me, being struck by passion. And I'm a very passionate person. And I think that's why I've done all the work that I've done, because I'm always looking for those moments that strike me. And in pondering and waiting for a bit of inspiration or for an inner message to come through, that describes the essence of what I'm doing is like being struck by passion, it's like being struck by lightning. And yeah, there's beautiful things that alchemize and happens when you're struck. So that's what comes to me when I think about the words.

• 46:48John R. Miles?

  Thank you so much for joining us. Always an honor to have you on the show. And if you are not familiar with Kayla's Substack, it's awesome. And I highly encourage you to check it out. Maybe you can just say a couple more words about it before you leave and where else people can learn what you're up to.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. And thank you so much, John, for having me and asking such thoughtful questions. I truly appreciate it. And yes, my Substack, it's called Shadow Work to Expand Awareness. And I've been slowly incorporating these light work concepts as well. And I share it with Dr. Connie Zweig. She's known as the Shadow Expert. So her wisdom and her techniques are also highlighted and shared all for free on there. And it's a really beautiful space where I write and post about all things inner work, depth, psychology, creativity, shadow

• 47:45Speaker 01

  work, and there's also prompts and actionable resources there as well. It's a great community. So check it out.

• 47:55John R. Miles?

  For everyone, if you were a fan of her work on shadow work, then you're going to love the Light Work Journal as well. So pick up a copy.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 48:05John R. Miles?

  Kayla, thank you so much for joining us. Always an honor to have you here.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Thanks so much. It's always great to speak with you and let's stay connected. I'd love to stay in touch about the book on mattering that you're writing. It sounds really beautiful. And if there's any other ways that I could support you outside of leaving a blurb, just let me know.

• 48:26John R. Miles?

  Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 48:30John R. Miles?

  That brings us to the end of today's conversation with Keila Shaheen. What stood out most to me is this, so many people are doing the work to understand themselves, but they're not doing the work to become themselves. They stay in the analysis, they stay in the reflection, they stay in the past. But as Kayla reminds us, healing isn't just about looking inward, it's about learning how to step forward, because shadow work reveals what's been hidden, but light work is what allows you to live in it, to express it, to embody it. And ultimately to reconnect with the parts of yourself that were always there just waiting to be seen. And when you begin to do that, something powerful happens. You stop trying to fix yourself and you start learning how to trust yourself. And that insight leads us directly into our next conversation, because if today's episode is about integrating

• 49:14John R. Miles?

  who you are, and that insight leads directly into our next conversation. Because if today's episode is about integrating who you are, our next episode explores how to design a life around it. I'll be joined by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, co-authors of How to Design Your Life and their latest work on building a meaningful life. If Kayla helps us understand who we are, Bill and Dave help us understand how to build a life underneath that truth. You don't want to miss it.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  We flipped the micro erasures that you're talking about, people not noticing and letting life get away from them into inking it down. That's why one of our exercises is the savoring exercise. Try to pay attention while you're living life, but if life goes by at real 1X speed, if I'm watching this on stream, I could 1.2X or I could 0.7X. Life is 1.0X all the time and it's too fast to fully appreciate it. So grab some of those moments, come back to them later and do a deep savoring exercise. Then you not only don't erase it, you get to keep it.

• 50:10John R. Miles?

  If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Leave a five star rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and get the companion guide for this episode at theignitedlife.net. Until next time, remember, you don't need to become someone new. You need to reconnect with who you've always been and have the courage to live it. I'm John Miles and you've been passion struck.