376. 7 tips for moving to a new country in your 20s

Moving to a new city is one of the most exciting (and emotionally challenging) things you can do in your twenties. Whether it’s for work, study, love, or a fresh start, leaving behind what’s familiar often brings a mix of freedom, fear, loneliness, and growth all at once. It’s a rite of passage, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In this episode, I’m sharing my personal experience of moving cities multiple times in my 20s, including moving internationally for the first time, alongside the psychology that explains why this transition feels so destabilising—and what actually helps. We explore: • Why moving increases stress, emotional exhaustion, and homesickness • Why it takes around 6 months to truly adjust to a new city • The role of routine, repetition, and place attachment in feeling settled • Why “going home too often” can slow down adjustment • How novelty, social effort, and structure protect mental health during transitions If you’ve just moved, or are thinking about it, this episode will help you feel less alone, more grounded, and more confident that what you’re feeling is normal, temporary, and part of the process. ORDER MY BOOK https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/copy-of-book Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en# Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en# For business: [email protected] mailto:[email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:32Jemma Sbeg?

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• 1:09Jemma Sbeg?

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• 1:50Jemma Sbeg?

  Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour today at clinique.com. Feels like Moisture Surge. I've been approaching my health really differently this year. I used to be really focused on maximizing and doing more. And now I'm just realizing that if I listen to what my body needs, I perform way better. And that's why I am obsessed with my Whoop. Truly, you guys, you know, I'm such a data and information driven person. And I love opening my Whoop app and seeing how my sleep, my stress, my strain is correlating with my mood, with my running performance, with how I'm just feeling day to day. I'm not an elite athlete by any

• 2:31Jemma Sbeg?

  means, but I do really benefit. And I also just really enjoy knowing more about my body. And Whoop also gives me these actionable personalized insights that have made me more intentional and meant that I make smarter decisions day to day about what I need, rather than just putting my foot on the gas and just going, going, going, going. New members can try Whoop with a 30 day free trial before committing to a membership. That's join.whoop.com/psychology for your free month of Whoop.

• 3:07Jemma Sbeg?

  Hello, everybody. I'm Jemma Sbeg and welcome back to the Psychology of Your 20s, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our 20s, and what they mean for our psychology.

• 3:27Jemma Sbeg?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is so great to have you here back for another episode. Today, we are talking about a rite of passage for so many of us, but also one of the scariest things you can do in your 20s, moving to a new city. Whether it's after you graduate college, or for college, or just for fun, for work, for a relationship, leaving what we know and the place we call home can be, honestly, it's romantic, it's exciting, it's also deeply conflicting, right? There is the allure of a fresh start, and then there is also a deep fear.

• 4:09Jemma Sbeg?

  Fear around, like, am I even gonna like this? Am I, am I gonna make friends? Am I gonna be able to afford it? Am I gonna find the places and the routines and the community that I love? I have moved around a lot in my life, but especially in my twenties. I'm on my third city of my twenties so far. And you guys know, I've just moved internationally for the first time. I now call London home. And I think all the experiences that I've had before have actually given me a bit of a routine and a formula that I am currently following to adjust to this new city and to make this place feel like home. And so I want to share that with you all. I will say it isn't without its challenges.

• 4:55Jemma Sbeg?

  I don't wanna romanticize it too much because part of the reality and I guess the price you pay for a new beginning is that it's gonna be hard and you are going to be sad. And there will be lonely times. I won't lie, London has, London's kinda knocked me on my butt. I've been pretty lonely. I haven't really found my groove yet. I miss my dog. I miss my dog. It feels like I'm literally grieving somebody. But having a plan is sometimes all you kind of need to break out of that funk and just let you enjoy the process a little bit more. Uh, because that's what it is. It's a process. It's gonna get better.

• 5:34Jemma Sbeg?

  We'll also, of course, touch on the psychology and the science to why these tips for adjusting to a new city work and what the research tells us to do. But without further ado, let's get into my five best tips for moving to a new city in your twenties.

• 5:58Jemma Sbeg?

  Moving to a new city is, again, always gonna be difficult for literally everyone. It does not discriminate. For a few obvious reasons, for a few non-obvious ones as well that I wanna go through and I wanna touch on. Number one. The reason it's going to be hard is because it's a complete upheaval to your routine, your sense of stability and what is comfortable for you. We are psychologically grounded by what we know and by having a stable environment. And having that stable environment directly links to emotional stability, even physical health at times as well. When you first move to a new city, it could literally be the city over, it could be an hour away.

• 6:43Jemma Sbeg?

  But there is always going to be a lack of familiarity that feels stressful and uncomfortable at times, at least for a few months. You're constantly encountering new stimuli and new things and new streets and new systems and smells. And your brain has to be more active in dissecting and processing these things compared to the status quo of your previous home city. This whole process taxes your cognitive resources more than usual. And you may not immediately notice how much this drains and overwhelms you, but it will, it's inevitable and it's going to lead to exhaustion and a lot of emotion.

• 7:25Jemma Sbeg?

  That's what makes this adjustment period pretty difficult. Often, how this manifests is obviously through homesickness. Homesickness is like heartbreak in a lot of ways. It's like a longing for what we used to know and what felt easy and safe, even if it wasn't what was best for us. Yes, where we used to live isn't a person, I know that, but it's, you have an attachment to it, like it is a relationship. You have memories, you have feelings, you have traditions with your old city. And moving away from it is an unacknowledged grief that things are never going to be the same.

• 8:07Jemma Sbeg?

  Like, it's never going to be what it was and that, that's grief, that's sadness. The second reason moving to a new city is bound to be difficult is that you typically have fewer social connections. I know, call me misobvious, but. It it impacts you on a level beyond what you think it does. Some of you may be really lucky, you may be the lucky ones and you've moved to be closer to your friends. I'm deeply jealous of you, but that's also not, that's not the norm. Typically, we are starting from scratch and that is so isolating. Even when, you know, you call your friends every day, even when they come and visit. Sometimes you just want a friend you can go out for a beer with once a week.

• 8:50Jemma Sbeg?

  Sometimes you just want physical connections, somebody you can sit across from at a table and just vent to.

• 8:59Jemma Sbeg?

  And they're just there for you and they're and and you could reach out and touch them. I remember when I first moved to Sydney, I knew so few people and I was trying so hard, desperately hard to meet people. I was doing all the things. I was rock climbing, I was life drawing, et cetera, et cetera. None of it was working. And I just called my dad and I was like, all I want is a friend. One single friend, that's all I want. That would make this easier. It goes without saying, not having that support system, it lowers our coping in so many ways. Somewhat similar to this, and the third reason it's so difficult, the one I hear so few people actually talk about is

• 9:41Jemma Sbeg?

  moving for a period of time is gonna mean that you don't know who you are. It's just natural. It it will always force an identity reset, whether you want it to or not. When you move to a new city, you don't just lose places and people, like you lose mirrors. The people who knew your history and your patterns and your inside jokes and the roles or the archetypes you played. In your old city, you didn't have to explain who you were, like your identity was socially reinforced constantly. In a new place, no one knows your backstory. You're suddenly untethered from the version of yourself that was consistently reflected back to you.

• 10:25Jemma Sbeg?

  Psychologically, this is destabilizing because our sense of self is not just formed in isolation, it's relational, it's formed in our relationships to other people. Research on self-concept clarity shows that when external feedback and social continuity disappear, we experience more anxiety, more doubt, and more emotional volatility. You're starting from scratch in like, in more ways than one. So how long is that going to last? That is what a lot of us probably wanna know. Like, skip to the good part, when's it gonna get better for me?

• 11:05Jemma Sbeg?

  I spoke about this in my I Moved to London episode, but I believe it takes six months to adjust to a new city. Six months before you know if it was the right decision or if it was the wrong one. No major feelings you have before six months can be trusted. You can't decide like, I'm gonna apply for citizenship and I'm gonna move here permanently. But you equally cannot decide, this was the worst call I've ever made and I need to go home now. Even if you feel either of those things really strongly and really deeply, your emotions before the six-month mark cannot be trusted. The consensus is, in some psychological communities, you know, it takes ninety days

• 11:50Jemma Sbeg?

  to form a habit. It's a bit oversimplified when you look at that research. But let's say ninety days, let's say three months, three months to get used to a routine, to get used to a habit, to the habit of a new city, the new systems, the new customs. And then I think it takes another three months to really decide like, if you like that routine. You've gotten used to it, do you enjoy it? At six months, you will be so surprised, you will wake up one day and things might not be perfect, but you will notice a shift. You've made some friends, you can navigate transport easier, you have a bit of a weekend routine, markets, shops, walk, trivia, that starts to feel normal.

• 12:34Jemma Sbeg?

  At this point, your allostatic load as well is also gonna lower. Like we spoke about before, moving to a new city is a major life event. It's gonna temporarily increase cortisol. It's also going to vitriol in your sympathetic nervous system. You're gonna be very, very stressed. When you get into the routines, predictability naturally lowers some of those responses. With that in mind, let's get into some of the tips that can help you make that transition a little bit smoother before the six month mark and after the six month mark as well. Starting with my most important tip of all, do not go home for the first three months if you can avoid it.

• 13:15Jemma Sbeg?

  The worst thing I did when I moved to Sydney was that I kept going back to Canberra. And the worst thing I did when I moved to Canberra was that I kept going back to Melbourne, like every weekend. And I get that, like, I have sympathy for that version of me. I was so lonely, I miss my friends, I miss what I knew. But it meant that in hindsight, it took me longer to adjust because I wasn't investing and I didn't have the free time on the weekends that I needed to make a real investment in my new city. Consider it, like how I consider it now is like going no contact with an ex.

• 13:53Jemma Sbeg?

  You can't, you know, expect to adjust to being single or being in a new city if you are constantly reminded of what you had before and all the good feelings towards that place. Like all those good feelings keep getting activated the more you return, meaning that the positive association doesn't reduce. To reference the psychology here, adjustment to something new relies on habituation and also extinction learning. If you wanna adjust to not having something or to a new habit or a new routine. You have this learned response to your old city, right? One of positive feelings, one of joy, friendship, relief when returning.

• 14:37Jemma Sbeg?

  That means your new city at this time is never going to be able to compete with that, the more you continue to reinforce that feeling. The only way you can extinguish that association and make room for this new city to feel as comfortable as your old one is to stop that feeling of like, this place I used to live is the only place I'm gonna feel good in by constantly going back. You are not giving yourself the best chance here if you just keep returning every weekend. This is like classic negative reinforcement as well. The discomfort you are experiencing in the new city is being reduced by going home to the old city,

• 15:21Jemma Sbeg?

  which basically strengthens the urge to escape again next weekend, which means you form a habit of avoidance towards your new city, meaning you and the new city never get to form your own relationship. Same way that when you break up with an ex, like you and yourself, and you feeling okay being single never gets to happen if you keep going back to them. I know it feels strange to hear me talking about cities as if they were people and as if they are relationships, but I think when we frame it in this way, like it makes a little bit more sense and we understand the, we understand the emotional implications better. If you wanna feel like your new city is the new normal and is good for you, go no contact with your old city.

• 16:06Jemma Sbeg?

  Tip number two, for the first three months at least, never spend a Friday night at home. This is probably my most controversial one. I know some people, that's the day they really recharge. And especially for my introverted listeners, like, I'm sorry, I know you're gonna hate me for saying this, but part of what makes a new place feel like home is of course the relationships you build there and the fun memories you make on your weekends or on your nights off. When we are experiencing a lot of stress and a lot of overwhelm and a lot of anxiety from all this newness, it's very easy to withdraw and to wanna recharge by yourself and you wanna watch The Office for the fifteenth time

• 16:50Jemma Sbeg?

  and you wanna cook your comfort meal and you wanna cuddle up in bed at that moment. You have to ignore that instinct and you have to do the hard thing. Gotta go out and meet new people. You have to go and make some plans. You gotta go to a social meetup, a board game night. Get into some kind of pottery, Pilates, painting class. You gotta go drinking with your colleagues. You can rest on Thursday night, you can rest on Saturday night. But Friday nights, as a practice, at least for the first three, six months, are going to be your social nights. And unless you are sick or unless you are dying, you are going to be somewhere that is not home.

• 17:32Jemma Sbeg?

  I think having that one day where you make this a priority is super important because it gets us into the practice of being social and meeting new people. When the path of least resistance, especially in the early days, would be to do nothing and to spend that time alone. A bonus tip for you as well that I think falls under this is don't be afraid to get desperate and to do things you otherwise wouldn't for friendship. Don't be afraid to come on too strong and to message the same person a few times in a row to ask what their plans are.

• 18:10Jemma Sbeg?

  Or to reach out to people that you don't really know that well slash at all to do something. Or to go to, I don't know, an event or a meetup that you would normally maybe avoid. Friendship meetups, concerts alone, dinner by yourself, like drinks with mutual, mutual, mutual friends. Like feels awkward, chances are if somebody else is there, they're feeling the same way. They are in a similar position to be in that situation. For example, somebody who is doing this very well is my boyfriend right now. Like he has ta- I told him this tip and he has taken it to like a new level. He's like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, goodbye, you will not be seeing me.

• 18:53Jemma Sbeg?

  Like last night, he went to a sketch night for three hours with a bunch of strangers. I've never seen him draw in his life. I didn't see the picture. I don't, I don't know what he drew. He didn't bring it home for me. So maybe, maybe he didn't go. He definitely did. Um, like another night as well, he went to a board game night. Um, I think like on Saturday. And like this is the same guy who, to give you some context, like. When we were in Sydney, typical night for him is he would work really late, get home at seven, go to the gym, play video games with his buddies. Probably like Monday to Monday to Friday and Sunday he would do that. And then maybe like Friday and Saturday, we'd go and do something social.

• 19:34Jemma Sbeg?

  So this is not his norm, but you've got to make the most. And what I respect about what he's doing right now is like, he's making the most of the momentum and the motivation that the first few months and the desperation of the first few months is going to give you. Also, another bonus tip, sorry, bonus tip, like two point three. Lower your social expectations at first. You're not aiming for the perfect friendship group. You are aiming for at least the beginning, one friend. In the next three months, one friend, just one person that you click with, that you like, that you could see yourself getting to know. Then move from there.

• 20:18Jemma Sbeg?

  Don't immediately feel like if you don't have the big group of friends, you know, you're never going to have that. When I moved to Sydney, it took me three years in Sydney to get anything close to a friendship group that felt cohesive and whole. It did come, it just took me a little while longer. The way I got there as well was I just focused on that one friend, that two friend, those individual relationships first, and then I moved from there. Okay, we're going to take a short break here, but when we return, I have three more tips for you, plus a bonus one. I actually think most people overlook when they first move to a new city.

• 21:02Jemma Sbeg?

  So stay with us.

• 21:09Speaker 00

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• 21:38Jemma Sbeg?

  This episode is sponsored by Gymshark. Gymshark has spent over 14 years obsessing over gym clothing and the people who wear it. And let me just say, I think we all know. They are very, very good at what they do. No, seriously, their stuff is so good. Their everyday seamless collection is light, it's soft, it's stretchy. All of their stuff just looks good on and it's made for people who love to exercise, whatever exercise that is. Lifting, cardio, Pilates, running around campus, maybe just doing errands. Discover Gymshark and find your new favorite gym clothing at gymshark.com.

• 22:15Jemma Sbeg?

  I've been approaching my health really differently this year. I used to be really focused on maximizing and doing more. And now I'm just realizing that if I listen to what my body needs, I perform way better. And that's why I am obsessed with my Whoop. Truly, you guys, you know I'm such a data and information driven person. And I love opening my Whoop app and seeing how my sleep, my stress, my strain is correlating with my mood, with my running performance, with how I'm just feeling day to day. I'm not an elite athlete by any means, but I do really benefit. And I also just really enjoy knowing more about my body. And Whoop also gives me these actionable personalized insights that have made me more intentional

• 23:00Jemma Sbeg?

  and meant that I make smarter decisions day to day about what I need, rather than just putting my foot on the gas and just going, going, going, going. New members can try Whoop with a 30 day free trial before committing to a membership. That's join dot whoop dot com slash psychology for your free month of Whoop. No two journeys look alike. That's why Sky Miles is designed to move with you wherever life takes you. Fly, it flies with you on new adventures, family getaways, business trips, and the moments that matter most. Earn, it earns alongside your everyday life. It dines with you on special nights out, it streams alongside your favorite entertainment. Rides through your daily routines and helps turn everyday moments into something more.

• 23:43Jemma Sbeg?

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• 24:28Jemma Sbeg?

  We are up to tip number three. Tip number three, make a bucket list for your new city and start ticking one thing off that bucket list per week even, and especially if it means that you have to go alone. This time is going to be tough, we've already talked about that, we've already covered that, we're done with that. But it will be easier if you romanticize it a little bit more and you kind of treat it like you're just a long-term tourist, at least at first. Yesterday, I ticked off an item from my bucket list. I went to the British Library and I wrote my scripts there and it was great. I got out of my house, I saw some original like Sylvia Plath letters.

• 25:12Jemma Sbeg?

  Someone did try to steal my seat whilst I was in the bathroom, but you know, I saw new things, I had fun, it was snowing. Why I have found this helpful is because firstly, yes, it keeps you focusing on all the amazing parts of this new city that you are yet to see, even on the days it's hard. Keeps you focused on the privilege of this experience. It also has kept me occupied during times when I do feel lonely. You know, yes, it's not ideal doing things alone when you feel lonely. You might think it makes it worse, but going where the people are and going where. There is newness and novelty and things that you're actually excited to see and you would be excited to see if you were only here for a week.

• 25:56Jemma Sbeg?

  Uh, makes it so much better and just reminds me like there is so much to explore here. And there is so much to like get out and see, even if I'm doing it alone to begin with. It also creates what we call place attachment. Places don't feel meaningful because of time alone or even because of relationships alone. They feel me- they feel meaningful because of memories, the memories we create through effort. And this is one way of doing it. Having that adventurer mindset, I think also additionally helps you find cool stuff and cool places that feel like your own and also make you feel like a local. Feel like you know the local secrets because you're wandering, you're walking, you are doing stuff, you are

• 26:41Jemma Sbeg?

  appreciating again the privilege of this experience. And honestly, I think there is also a big dopamine element here. Having this bucket list give your, gives your brain something to look forward to. And that sense of forward motion is protective during transitions. It combats the emotional flatness that often comes with loneliness and adjustment. Because you're generating regular experiences and moments for yourself of reward and accomplishment and dopamine and novelty. Make your bucket list. I will say I still have things on my Sydney and my Canberra bucket list that I didn't do and I regret that.

• 27:23Jemma Sbeg?

  So I'm fully committed to my London one and to pursuing that like novelty and all the fun things that this city has for me. We're actually gonna do a full one eighty here for tip number four. Bucket list novelty, important, amazing. So are your routines. You need to establish a routine that you are consistent and loyal to. You guys know me, I am, honestly, I'm such a routine hater. I love just like waking up and being like, what's on the agenda for the day and like making it up as I go along. That's how my brain operates. I don't love the structure, but when I move to a new city,

• 28:06Jemma Sbeg?

  I get invested. I get serious about my routine because I know this is the key, the psychological key, the ru- the routine key that unlocks so many other doors for me in this new environment. Pick, for example, one or two community spaces and go as much as possible. Repetition is, is your best friend here. Going to the same coffee shop, the same local grocery store, the same gym classes, pottery classes, morning walk, every day doing those things is how you are going to build community, your community, simply through convenience and exposure. And I know it works. I know this works because I've done it before. When you stay loyal to your routine

• 28:52Jemma Sbeg?

  and your local favorites and your envi- environment favorites, I get lo- location favorites, I should say. You find other people who will do the same and who are already operating on a similar cycle as you. And through a simple exposure, you gain closeness. These people may not necessarily become your best friends, but they will become your community. And the value of these low effort daily conversations with familiar people, the girl in your boxing class, the barista, the man selling the big issue is crucial. These are crucial, even if they're not the most important because it makes us feel less invisible, especially in big cities where you sometimes feel like, you know, would anybody even notice if I'm missing?

• 29:36Jemma Sbeg?

  This is a nice way to not feel so terrifying, terrifyingly small. On top of that, one further psychological bonus is that this mirror exposure effect also does actually help us love the city more, not just the people we encounter, but the city in general. One of the most robust findings in social psychology is that we like people and places more simply because we encounter them repeatedly. Frequency for adjustment matters. That's why your old town, your old home, your old city felt special. You just spent a lot of time there and you built up your routine and people without perhaps even realising it.

• 30:20Jemma Sbeg?

  So investing in that now, in your new city, is going to pay just mass dividends in the future. Think we're now up to like, I think we're up to tip number five. So we're gonna move into some more like very specific, practical territory. This is something I'm really glad I have done in the past and I continue to do. A super practical tip to kind of break things up. Do not sign a lease if you have just moved to a new city, do not sign a lease straight away. And do not sign a lease before you move and you see the place. Get an Airbnb, this is, I, this tip is so important to me. Get an Airbnb or a sublet.

• 31:00Jemma Sbeg?

  Stay with friends, stay with friends of friends for at least the first couple to few weeks if you can. Here is my justification for this. Especially in big cities, where you live really matters. And not just whether the neighbourhood is safe or you like the apartment or people are friendly, but whether it's close enough to work, how long your commute's gonna be, whether it contains people your similar age, whether it's got the amenities you like, the vibes you like, the green spaces you like. There is this panicked instinct we have, and I've certainly had it before, to kind of lock down a place like straight away. Because we don't, obviously, we want a roof over our head.

• 31:42Jemma Sbeg?

  But I really recommend exploring a few neighborhoods and streets and places before you pay all that money for potentially a location you don't like, or that it's gonna give you a two-hour commute, or doesn't suit your needs. I've actually had this happen with a few friends. Just recently, they moved overseas. In the past few months, my friends, Matt and his wife Sophia, they moved to Canada and they took over someone's lease before they got there because they were so stressed about finding a place. And like, they are almost an hour and a half from where they work and from where all their friends live and from like, live music venues and the cinemas and the bars that they like. And they're stuck in that twelve-month contract now.

• 32:27Jemma Sbeg?

  And I don't blame them, like, I think they really wanted the security of it. But it's worth the extra money and the reduction in security to really explore before you commit when you first move. Because rent is fricking expensive and leases are hard to break. Having that two-week, three-week buffer, I think of it as insurance. It's insurance for the choice you make on the location you live. We did two weeks at an Airbnb in Camden when we first moved to London. And like, huge shout out to our Airbnb hosts. I don't think they're listening, but, cause I don't think, um, this is not, um, they're not my target demographic. But they were so kind.

• 33:12Jemma Sbeg?

  They were like these guys in their like, forties or fifties. And they were so welcoming and they gave us so many recommendations and they, like, we really locked in on seeing as many neighborhoods as possible because we did that. I was so convinced, actually, to give my own story on this. I was so convinced when we moved to London, stupidly, I was like, I wanna move to Notting Hill. I know, I, probably because I saw the movie, but also because I have friends who live there. And I was like, Notting Hill is trendy, I wanna, I wanna live in Notting Hill. And then we went and saw a few places there and I was like, I do not wanna live here. This is actually not that great. It's a bit far from everything else and it's a bit posh. Not posh enough for Notting Hill. And that was a great decision.

• 33:56Jemma Sbeg?

  And I would have chosen Notting Hill if we didn't have that buffer. And I would have never felt comfortable leaving my house in exercise gear or without a full face of makeup. So I'm so glad we did that. Before we wrap up, I have two smaller bonus tips for you guys for before I go. You guys know me, I've gotta do my extra credit work for you guys. I've gotta give you something a little bit extra. Bonus tip number one, actually, I think by this stage is like bonus tip number four. I forgot about the ones before, but bonus tip number one, when you move to a new city, I actually think it's really important to invest in making your home or your room nice and cozy, even if it costs that little bit extra. And I'm gonna explain why.

• 34:39Jemma Sbeg?

  Moving countries, yeah, it's, it's expensive. Visas alone are like a tenth of people's like yearly incomes. But if there is one thing you're going to spend money on when you get there, making the place you live feel comfortable and feel homely is it. As we've been like buying furniture and decorating and doing all that stuff at our new place, I keep definitely feeling this sense of like, why am I spending money on this? Why did I buy a rug? Like, why am I, why did I buy a lamp? Why did I buy a nice couch? Like, that's silly and we're just gonna sell it. We're not gonna be here for that long. And the answer is like, it does feel like it helps.

• 35:23Jemma Sbeg?

  It feels like if I'm gonna live here and really give it something, if I don't feel comfortable, I'm gonna be gone in six months because I'm gonna hate it. I need to feel like my space is safe and comfortable and has my personality involved in it so that I have somewhere to retreat to when things get hard. Otherwise, I'm gonna burn out pretty quick and I'm gonna feel pretty, you know, disheartened. If you really wanna give. Your city or crack, you can do all the things, but you've got to be invested as well. And you have to make it mentally easier on yourself by making it comfortable. The three things I would actually say to spend money on, if you are going to spend money when you move to a new city,

• 36:04Jemma Sbeg?

  nice bed sheets and nice towels, a nice lamp or a nice light source and then a like a nice picture frame or some nice pictures or some nice art. It does make a big difference. Our final tip of this episode, probably our most important, don't try so hard to recreate your old life in a new place. No matter how hard you try, it's just never gonna be the same. And it's just gonna make you more miserable. If there was ever a time to try new things, to reinvent yourself, to force yourself to build different habits, routines, enjoy different things. This is your time, like right now.

• 36:46Jemma Sbeg?

  You have a blank slate to be an entirely new person, if you wanna be so, if you wanna do so. So many people never get that opportunity and they remain the same versions of themselves for their whole lives because they feel caged in by geography and the people they know and their hometown or their home city. This is gonna be hard, it's also gonna be a frickin' great adventure. And I want you to lean in as much as possible to the fresh start and the new beginnings and how you're gonna make this different. The person you wanna be. And I think it will, I think all of that, that whole mentality of like, cool, this is gonna be tough, but I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm gonna reinvent myself, whatever it is, like it makes you feel a little bit more positive and optimistic about the future.

• 37:32Jemma Sbeg?

  When the hard stuff does come up. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so excited for you if you've just moved or if you are in the process of thinking about moving. Even if you're six months down the line, like it's gonna get great, it's gonna be amazing, it's gonna get better. If you have made it to the end of this episode, welcome. Thank you so much for listening so far. I appreciate that you stayed to the end. Leave a comment down below. If you've just moved to a new city, where are you living? If you are about to move to a new city, where are you going? If you have a dream city that you wanna move to, where is it? And if you've just moved to Sydney by any chance, here is something for your bucket list. If the weather is nice this weekend, go to Red Leaf Bay and then get a tasty pastry

• 38:17Jemma Sbeg?

  from Breaker Blue. That is a freebie tip for my people who've maybe just moved to Sydney. That's something I would have on my bucket list. So enjoy. Good luck. Make sure you're following us on Instagram. Make sure you are subscribed slash following wherever you are listening right now, and that's Apple, Spotify, the iHeartRadio app, so that you know when we release new episodes and you can stay in touch. Good luck on your new adventure. I sent some amazing friends and some amazing memories in your near future. I just have a good feeling about it. I can sense it for you. Until next time, be safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself. Thank you for listening and we will talk very, very soon.

• 39:03Jemma Sbeg?

  This episode is sponsored by Gymshark. Gymshark has spent over 14 years obsessing over gym clothing and the people who wear it. And let me just say, I think we all know they are very, very good at what they do. No, seriously, their stuff is so good. Their everyday seamless collection is light, it's soft, it's stretchy. All of their stuff just looks good on and it's made for people who love to exercise, whatever exercise that is, lifting, cardio, Pilates, running around campus, maybe just doing errands. Discover Gymshark and find your new favorite gym clothing at gymshark.com.

• 39:40Jemma Sbeg?

  I've been really trying to prioritize my health in a realistic way this year and something that has kept me really motivated is my Whoop. I am such a data person, which is why I love Whoop, because I can genuinely see why my body feels differently depending on the day, why I'm running differently, why I'm maybe less focused. Whoop effortlessly tracks my sleep, it tracks my strain, my recovery, my stress, and most importantly, my overall health. And it just gives me all that data and all those patterns so I can make better decisions, which includes knowing when to go easy and knowing when to go hard. New members can try Whoop with a 30-day free trial before committing to a membership. That's join.whoop.com/psychology for your free month of Whoop.

• 40:25Jemma Sbeg?

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