Johnny Knoxville

Actor, producer, and television host Johnny Knoxville feels harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Johnny sits down with Conan to discuss how he began producing stunt videos as a means to support his family, hare-brained ideas from the upcoming fifth Jackass film, and how hosting Fear Factor instilled in him a strange new kind of empathy. Plus, Conan grills Sona and David Hopping about their least favorite tasks as his assistants. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  One in four Americans targeted by scams ended up falling for them.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  I did.

• 0:07Conan O'Brien?

  For me, it would be four out of four. Did you fall for a scam?

• 0:09Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam once.

• 0:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Incredible.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  They didn't steal much.

• 0:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, still, you got taken for a ride.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  I did.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  And you just put it out there that you're easy to scam.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  I am.

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I need this.

• 0:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you do need it. You need it fast. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 0:51Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:54Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:57Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 1:02Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 1:04Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 1:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 1:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me. Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:51Conan O'Brien?

  Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  And I feel harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 2:02Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? I think you just may have had the best one ever.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  Would you prefer harder than a folding chair? Because I can switch.

• 2:08Conan O'Brien?

  I like turnbuckle. It's got a nice, it's really poetic. And I want that on my gravestone. Harder than a turnbuckle. And soon.

• 2:36Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley, still out on a parental leave. He has a brand new baby, very excited for him and for his wife Amanda. He's got two girls now, which is just lovely. And David Hopping, filling in for him. David, good to have you here again.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  Thank you. Happy to be here.

• 2:55Conan O'Brien?

  Nice to see you. David, you love your reality television. You just love it.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:59Conan O'Brien?

  Explain one thing to me, because David loves the show Traitors.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:04Conan O'Brien?

  And so I checked out the new season of Traitors, because someone I knew was a contestant on the show. And I thought, I just want to see what this is like. And I've seen it before, but I don't know what the strategy is on a show like that. I was watching Traitors and I thought, isn't it, they all act like, oh, I'm, I'm gonna really practice my wiles and my expertise and I'm gonna win the game. And I think, it's not like chess.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:31Conan O'Brien?

  It looks like people are just doing stuff, but I don't really see a strategy. And then they get voted off or not.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:38Conan O'Brien?

  It feels kind of random. Am I wrong about that?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  They're supposed to like, really be like, paying attention to people, like, to slip up. Like, if Sona's a traitor, I'm like, really watching to see if she messes up and gives me any clue that she's the person going and meeting at night to like, kill people in the castle.

• 3:53Conan O'Brien?

  Well, here's why I watch. I watch because Alan Cumming's saying the word murder.

• 4:00Conan O'Brien?

  That is what keeps me coming back and he says it, I mean, he must know it's working for him. Because his outfits are fantastic, they're just wonderful. But, and he's, he's, he's just chewing scenery left and right in the most delicious way. But he manages to say, "Mardar." Maybe every other sentence.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:19Conan O'Brien?

  You know?

• 4:20Speaker 03

  It's so good.

• 4:20Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, and it's, so that's fun. And then people are doing stuff like they're running around and you've got to put this cantaloupe on top of that gravestone. Oh no, not on that gravestone. And it doesn't seem to, I try to figure out what it's all about and I don't know.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  I don't watch it.

• 4:36Conan O'Brien?

  What do you, what reality shows are you obsessed with, Sona?

• 4:38Speaker 01

  You know what, I'm not watching reality right now. I'm watch, I, I'm, I'm in the, I, I just like, I like horny shows. That's what I do. I'm sorry. And you knew that about me.

• 4:48Conan O'Brien?

  He did rivalry.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, now I'm watching the new season of Tell Me Lies. David and I talked about that.

• 4:53Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what that is.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Of course you don't.

• 4:55Conan O'Brien?

  How is it horny?

• 4:56Speaker 01

  No, it's, it's horny. There's, there's like sexy people sexting. And so I like it.

• 5:01Conan O'Brien?

  Is it full nudity?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  No, you, like, do you see things?

• 5:05Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, but just like, uh.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is actually.

• 5:07Conan O'Brien?

  It's like soft core kind of.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Not soft core, no, not, it's like with, you know, there's stuff. There's, you could see it, but you can't see it.

• 5:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you see the occasional butt, maybe a half boob.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh my God, you're getting really into like details.

• 5:21Conan O'Brien?

  Can you draw what you see?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Oh my God, okay.

• 5:24Conan O'Brien?

  Can you just draw it for me?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  You can watch it. You're an adult man. If you want to watch it, you can.

• 5:28Conan O'Brien?

  Hmm, sometimes my priest stops by.

• 5:32Conan O'Brien?

  Avert your gaze, Father McNulty.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 5:40Conan O'Brien?

  So, uh, reality shows.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:42Conan O'Brien?

  What is your, what's your go-to reality show? Is, is it Traitors or no?

• 5:46Speaker 03

  I would say Big Brother than Traitors, which I know Blay watches.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  And Adam's a massive, you're a Big Brother. I've never watched Big Brother.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  I like Traitors too.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:54Speaker 05

  Uh, here's what I love about Big Brother, which is it's in a house. The idea is it's people who are sequestered in a house and they don't get to see another person, period. Like none of the producers they see, uh, all the camera people are behind one-way mirrors. Uh, and it's watching 18 people. People slowly lose their mind.

• 6:11Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 6:11Speaker 05

  Over the course of a season because the house is very big and it's made for 18 people. But people get voted out every week. So when it gets down like to like six people in a house full of four 18 people. And they haven't talked to anyone else for like months, it is insane.

• 6:28Conan O'Brien?

  Would you agree with that assessment, Adam?

• 6:29Speaker 04

  I would. I also, there's something really comforting about it. It's on three nights a week during the summer when like a lot of the big sports are off season.

• 6:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:37Speaker 04

  And it's, it would be considered boring at times. It's people sitting around whispering like on couches. Uh, whispering about strategy, but there's just something kind of passive and enjoyable.

• 6:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's better than talking to your loved ones or reading a really good, moving book. No judgment. Yeah?

• 6:52Speaker 05

  They also have a thing called Big Brother After Dark and they have all these camera feeds. Where you could just, when they're not on the show, you could just watch them unfiltered.

• 7:00Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 7:00Speaker 05

  And I used to, I used to put those on and work out when they were working out in the house.

• 7:06Conan O'Brien?

  Like you have a friend?

• 7:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, like I had a friend because I live alone.

• 7:10Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say, first of all, it's just for voyeurs, I think. And in my day, you had to go out and do your own peeping. And, and I think that's one of the things we've lost in America is you had to go into someone else's yard. And you had to hang around near the shrubs and then peek in through their windows and hope that someone was, uh, undressing. And that's the kind of stuff that I thought really was the fiber of this country, the backbone. Yeah. Um, I peeped, uh, all through my teens, my twenties, my thirties. Um, I, I leered, I oggled, I peered occasionally. Ew. Uh, and those were things that, those taught me valuable life skills.

• 7:51Conan O'Brien?

  And now people are just, oh, I don't have to do that. I don't have to even leave my house. I left my house. Wandering at night to try and find houses that were brightly lit. Where people were possibly undressing, maybe on the first floor. Okay. Or if it's on the second floor, I had to go up a drainpipe. This is stuff that taught me to be resilient.

• 8:09Speaker 05

  You really had to put the work in.

• 8:11Conan O'Brien?

  I had, I got my, my heart, my arm and hand strength from climbing up the sides of houses. And then the policeman would show up and it'd say, hey, we've got a peeper. And then I had to haul ass. I had to scurry down and I had to run. And that old cherry top would come afterward. Whee, whee, whee. And they would say, Peeper, Peeper, stand still. And I had to run. I had to really run and run and run. And then I'd get home and my mother would say, how'd the peeping go? My mother would say, how'd the, how'd tell me how'd the peeping go tonight? And I'd say, meh, I got chased by the fuzz. And she'd say, oh, have a fried ham. And so, you know, I'd chow down and that's just how things were in my mind. So.

• 8:55Conan O'Brien?

  Now we can just put on Paramount Plus.

• 8:59Conan O'Brien?

  You ever do any peeping there, Eduardo? Back in my day. Yeah. No.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:04Conan O'Brien?

  Never.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  No, don't play along with this.

• 9:07Conan O'Brien?

  Anyone here want to join me on this peeping thing? You're the only peeper. Oh, man, I'm a good peeper. I'd peep to the right, I'd peep to the left. I was really good. I used to not be able to go to the left, but then I learned how.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 9:17Conan O'Brien?

  That's good.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Goals.

• 9:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Anywho. Happy for you. I'm a good peeper. I just love saying peeper now. Mm-hmm. Today's guest, co-creative.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 9:27Conan O'Brien?

  And stars in the MTV series Jackass. This guy would appreciate my peeping past. I know he would. Now you can see him hosting the Fox series Fear Factor: House of Fear. And he just announced that a fifth Jackass movie is on the way. That's good news. Later this year. We're thrilled he's here.

• 9:49Conan O'Brien?

  Johnny Knoxville, welcome.

• 9:55Conan O'Brien?

  I've always been an admirer of yours and you are a, have a special place in my heart. Because in another lifetime, you were on an episode of the late night show that we then decided to turn into Claymation. And so, and it was an episode where I think you were the first guest and you were great. And so it's all happens in Claymation later on. And then I think Richard Lewis comes out and starts talking about Shaq's penis. Just goes off the rails. It was wonderful. It was wonderful. And he goes off the rails and at one point I stand, this is in the real show. I stand and I say, walk with me, Johnny, because he's going. Going on this long, he says he saw Shaq's penis and he's describing it and I walk with you

• 10:39Conan O'Brien?

  and I put my arm around your shoulder and you and I walk to the fake window and look out at the fake window while Richard Lewis is still talking about Shaq's penis. And then this all happened in claymation, which made me so happy because I'm like, walk with me Johnny, and it's not good claymation.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  And David Bowie's there and I think he was on the couch. I don't know if Richard Lewis starts going off in front of him.

• 11:01Conan O'Brien?

  I don't remember. It's all a blur.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, because that's the first time, it's the first time, well, I think maybe the only time I met David Bowie. And it was like, this was one of the best nights because after we filmed, you're like, wow, that was good.

• 11:11Conan O'Brien?

  We wanted to do a claymation episode, but we wanted a really great episode that would be visual and funny to see in claymation. And then that was the episode. We decided, oh, it's not going to get better than that. And then it was so much fun, but there are so many times, the weirdest times, I'll like be brushing my teeth and I'll hear, "Walk with me Johnny." You and I go into the window to look out. So weird, but you've always been, you're always an amazing guest and a true, true to your oeuvre, your work, a real showman, you know? It's just, and so I wanted to start with, I don't do this with every guest, but you have such a fascinating career arc. Do you know what I mean? Just absolutely fascinating.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Why'd you do quotations when you said career comedy?

• 12:02Conan O'Brien?

  I'm including myself in there too. No, I've, no one sets out to have a career the way that you have. And it's, I just think there's so much that's brilliant about it. And, and then you're so effing likeable, you know? And you've, so you, you ride that all along too. That is kind of your, I think your secret sauce. But how does one even begin to become a Johnny Knoxville?

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Well, you don't go to college, that's for sure.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  And you just get on the 10 West.

• 12:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, step one, if you're listening, don't go to college, then get on the 10 West.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:45Conan O'Brien?

  And you're.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  It's fast, faster and disaster. That's how you do it.

• 12:49Conan O'Brien?

  And you started making these videos on your own, right? This is, we're going back to what, in the late 90s?

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Yes, what happened was, honestly, I moved out to Los Angeles to become an actor, just two months, or maybe a month after high school. Didn't do a lot, you know?

• 13:08Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  For five, six years, and then my then girlfriend got pregnant, and I'm like, oh, I have to do something quick, because that's the most frightened I've ever been. Because I had a little girl on the way, and I'm waiting tables, and I'm like, I gotta do something quick, so. I was living next to Antoine Fuqua in this duplex, and he set me up with this casting agent, who got me a commercial agent, and I started writing for magazines. And like my version of participatory journalism, like Hunter S. Thompson type of. I was like, how about if I, one of my first articles was, how about if I test self-defense equipment on myself?

• 13:52Speaker 02

  I was, I was just, that was my best guess at how to support a family. And it was all out of fear of how to support, how to support a little girl, honestly.

• 14:04Conan O'Brien?

  I think you described that leap as if it's an honest, natural progression. You know, well, a kid's on the way, and I better, you know, start to get serious here. It's time to test self-defense.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Time to shoot myself in the chest while wearing a bulletproof vest.

• 14:22Conan O'Brien?

  That'll provide security. Yeah, so you start doing it, and then you start making videos.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  Well, when the only magazine, a few magazines around town wanted that article, but none of them, they wanted to treat it as a negative pickup. Come see us after you're done, and then we'll. The only magazine who would help me, like buy the stun gun, the taser gun, I bought the bulletproof vest with money my mom gave me for Christmas that year, was the editor of Big Brother magazine, Jeff Tremaine, who is now the director of Jackass, and.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  He had a skateboarding magazine owned by Larry Flynt that that's in right before I was writing. I said, how about if I write the article? Jeff goes, why don't you film it at the same time? And they for our skate video. I'm like, okay. And that's what happened. And of course I went to the. He's like, I'll have Dimitri go with you to film it, who is now the director of photography of Jackass. And I pull up that morning and I'm like, get in. And he goes, here's the camera. This is play. This is pause. It's got film in it. I'm like, you're not shooting it? He's like, no, because there's a gun involved. He didn't want.

• 15:34Conan O'Brien?

  Didn't want to be there.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Nobody wanted to be there.

• 15:36Conan O'Brien?

  No one wants to be there. Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  So that's why the camera works so shaky with that.

• 15:42Conan O'Brien?

  So you start making these things and then you get a chance to make a show for MTV. And I didn't know this, at the same moment that you have this deal to make a show and you're about to make the show. Out of nowhere, you get this offer from Lorne Michaels at Saturday Night Live.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:59Conan O'Brien?

  And I never heard that.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Nothing was happening in my life like two or three months before, you know, I mean, the wonderful things with the family and the kid, but professionally, nothing. And then it's like, I have a TV show, we're about to shoot the pilot for MTV. And then, like you said, Lorne Michaels comes calling and we go meet at the Polo Lounge. At the Beverly Hills Hotel where Fear and Loathing did begin and it was a lot, you know, because. I had no gigs before this and he's offering me a spot like five minutes on Saturday Night Live each week.

• 16:34Conan O'Brien?

  Not to do characters and things like that.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  No, to do what I do, like make a video each week. And it was a, I had to, I really seriously considered it, but I ended up. Thinking I would go on there. I'm not going to have any creative control whatsoever. And I'm about to do this other thing with me and my friends. And I'd rather, where I have all the control and I'd rather bet on us than enter into that. And would probably, I'd been lucky to be on Saturday Night Live, but I chose that.

• 17:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, I mean, obviously you sure, you certainly didn't make the, the wrong move there. Um, and you got to be the master. of your own universe by doing jackass as opposed to being a small piece of a show where you have very less sometimes we're not going to air your piece tonight it didn't make it or you know we're going to hold on to that or uh so so that was the right thing to do

• 17:26Speaker 02

  well I didn't think so when the pilot while we're shooting the pilot it got shut down and I'm the oh man we're canceled it's this is not even making it to the air now

• 17:35Conan O'Brien?

  why was it shut down

• 17:37Speaker 02

  we were filming a bit uh in west Hollywood at this hardware store which I think is a restaurant now Laurel hardware

• 17:46Conan O'Brien?

  it's both you can get hardware and food

• 17:48Speaker 02

  oh great great

• 17:49Conan O'Brien?

  I'll have the steak char char and the and the rake I'll have the rake as well

• 17:55Speaker 02

  and I walked in my face was all dirty in a prison orange jumpsuit and I was handcuffed and I was trying to get them to help me saw the handcuffs off

• 18:02Conan O'Brien?

  right

• 18:03Speaker 02

  they cleared out the place everyone's scared and I realized at one point I'm out there on the saw section saw and there's no not even my cameraman are around like well shit

• 18:15Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you're you're doing you're committing to the bit and there's no camera

• 18:19Speaker 02

  at one point I'm sawing and it goes right on my wrist and it was very close to like so then I heard the cops coming I'm like well I better get outside because that's where the cameras are and I I run outside and right as like three or four carloads of cops are pulling up and the first lady on the scene she gets out of her car tells me get on the ground and I abide by what she's saying uh but she didn't put her car in park and it runs right into a telephone telephone pole in front of me and I'm on the ground you can hear me go oh no because now now they're mad

• 19:04Speaker 02

  MTV couldn't shoot in West Hollywood for over 10 years after that because we didn't have a permit. We didn't know you permitted to shoot these things. You didn't have a permit? We didn't know what a permit was.

• 19:15Conan O'Brien?

  That's so fantastic. You know, you are giving credence to this idea that I've had for a long time, which is that if a camera's going, I will do things that I won't do otherwise. And so, in a Jackass kind of way, I have always, if there's a camera rolling, I'll say, and there's a potential for people to be laughing.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:41Conan O'Brien?

  And for it to be recorded. I will do things that otherwise I'd say, oh no, I'd rather not. I eat bugs. I, I mean, we'll talk about Fear Factor, but all the stuff you guys do in Fear Factor, I lose common sense if I think there's a potential that people would see it and laugh. And, but you're talking about situations where you're invoking, the police are coming, people have guns.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 20:07Conan O'Brien?

  And they can very justifiably, let you say, a guy in an orange jumpsuit came running out of the hardware store, and I discharged my weapon. And then it's like, oh, that's too bad for that guy making a pilot.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Well, that's what the lady told me afterwards, the female policeman, she goes, if you would have just moved a few inches while you were on the ground, the guy was going to get away, she, I would just put a bullet in your ear. And I'm like, well, I'm glad I kinda just laid there.

• 20:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  And I said, is this the weirdest call you ever had? And they said, no, one time a guy was on PCP at the top of a palm tree, buck naked, and slid all the way down. Oh shit. Which we tried to convince one of the cast guys to do, but no one was up for it.

• 20:56Conan O'Brien?

  That is either extremely painful or an erotic thrill.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:03Conan O'Brien?

  No?

• 21:03Speaker 02

  No. But the laughter thing you're talking about, I don't know how to write to make, like, wow, what would America thinks funny? That would, that would make me freeze and, but, so with Jackass, if, I only know how to make my friends laugh, and if they're laughing.

• 21:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Probably we're good, but if, if they're not laughing, we're probably shooting again.

• 21:37Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:39Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 21:54Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 22:07Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid is fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 22:27Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 23:01Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:09Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:20Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back and I regret it now.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 23:26Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig or is that your hair?

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of, it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 23:33Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:37Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 23:52Conan O'Brien?

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Mental health awareness is on the rise, which is a good thing. And a lot of people, thanks to days like World Mental Health Day, which I think is October 10th, have people thinking about how to take care of themselves. And I think for some people, therapy can be a great way to support their mental well-being. Remember, therapy isn't just for big life choices. It can be a place to talk about relationship problems, work issues, or simply the sense that something feels a little off. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms. They serve millions of people globally.

• 24:34Conan O'Brien?

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• 25:10Conan O'Brien?

  There's Jackass itself, then, and it's not always you doing the stunts, obviously. You get your friends so that you can, it seems to me like, distribute the pain and injury. Yes. So that it's, you know, and it's a huge sensation. And then Jackass, the movie. I remembered seeing that and just being, because I remember thinking, how do they do this now? Because, you know, the TV show has so many sort of iconic moments. How do you do a movie? And I thought you guys made great decisions when you made that movie. Oh, thank you. You know, and I don't know, because you upped the ante a little bit, but you also have like, production and, you know what I mean? It's not just the show.

• 25:55Conan O'Brien?

  It's sort of on steroids and more presentational. I don't, what was the thinking behind the movie?

• 26:00Speaker 02

  Well, the thinking behind the movie was, uh, we did, they called it Three Seasons of Jackass, but it was 24 episodes and over a series of nine, 10 months. And we had unfortunately a couple of copycat incidences. And it was an election year and Joseph Lieberman came down on Hollywood. That was his big platform and me personally in MTV because of that.

• 26:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  So it became impossible to do Jackass, right? Uh, we had, uh, all these safety OSHA guys on the set. You can't jump off anything more than four feet. And, and I felt like this doesn't feel right. Uh, what we do is really silly, right? But it, it means something to me. So I'm like, I think this is the end. And so I gave an interview to my hometown newspaper and said, I quit.

• 26:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  And everyone was kind of surprised because I just went rogue.

• 27:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  So there was a lot of heat back and forth. MTV was upset because I was under contract, yada, yada, yada, a lot of back and forth. Finally, uh, mo- idea for a movie was floated and Jeff and Spike came to me and said, well, how about if we just do a movie instead? I'm like, like the idiot I am, I'm like, who's going to play us?

• 27:23Speaker 02

  And they're like, no, no.

• 27:25Conan O'Brien?

  You idiot.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes.

• 27:29Conan O'Brien?

  Is it a love story?

• 27:33Speaker 02

  A naughty version of the TV show. I'm like, okay, got it. You know? So that, I was a little confused, as I often am.

• 27:44Conan O'Brien?

  But I felt like, uh, there was a time when South Park made a movie and I thought, well, this, traditionally when TV shows make a movie, for many years, it was the rule that it's a bad idea. You know what I mean?

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Justin and Kelly?

• 27:58Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Almost always a bad idea.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  That's the first one that popped into your head.

• 28:07Conan O'Brien?

  Justin Guarini was just here.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  I'm not the butcher's guy to come along the block.

• 28:16Conan O'Brien?

  Well, anyway, uh, great pull, by the way.

• 28:21Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, I remember like South Park made a movie and it turned out like, oh, yes. Excellent. And then, uh, and then you guys made a movie and it felt like this time when people were making the right call and it was actually translating. I'm curious, you know, I think about there was whatever 30 years or 28 years there where I was doing a show and always saying yes to things because I thought it would be funny. And I got tossed by a water buffalo once and fell onto, up into the air and fell onto hard concrete and it.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Ooh, by a, wow.

• 28:55Conan O'Brien?

  I jumped on a water buffalo when that was not what I was supposed to do. And all my common sense went away and I think about that all the time. Now I'm thinking about your life where you have a montage playing in your head of things you did where probably halfway through you thought, this is a terrible idea, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Well, it's like, this is a terrible idea. I'm so glad I'm doing it. We're about to get footage. And by the way, I've always wanted to get hit by a water buffalo, so I'm envious.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  I'm sitting there like, oh.

• 29:32Conan O'Brien?

  I'm glad that you look up to me that way.

• 29:36Conan O'Brien?

  So are there things that stand out to you now, um, that you are this silver haired, wise, you know, patrician? Are there things that stand out to you now where you go like, oh my God, that was a terrible idea?

• 29:51Speaker 02

  I, I don't know.

• 29:53Conan O'Brien?

  Do you have any regrets at all? Like, I wish I hadn't done that one.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I mean, we, we're, we've been going back, looking through some old bits and you're like, oh, that, that, but not like anything for my physical safety, just because, you know, they all can't be hits.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  So then, then I'm like, oh man, we just, even watching the, the first movie, it's, it's almost first Jackass movie, it's so tame into what it became. And, uh, which, but I don't regret any of that. It's just what it was. And like I'm watching myself do pranks and. I just, I watch it and just go, why did I do that course of action? Why couldn't I have pivoted into the?

• 30:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we all do that.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  I just like to beat myself up a little.

• 30:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we all do that. We all, uh, look at past work we've done and have regrets. But for you, it might be, um, why did I light myself on fire?

• 30:53Speaker 02

  No, I mean, the toothpaste is out of the tube, Conan. I can't do anything about it now, so I'm all right with everything.

• 31:00Conan O'Brien?

  That's good. Um. Are you in pain? Do you walk around in constant pain?

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Eh, sometimes, but I'm, I'm not. It's not even a joke. I'm not really in touch with my body.

• 31:13Conan O'Brien?

  Me neither.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  So I can just kind of deal with whatever.

• 31:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh. It's funny you say that because my least favorite question is if I go to a doctor or something and they say, now, how does it feel? And I go, I don't know. I just want to get to the grave.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, like, I hate, I hate when they're telling me, you know, or whatever. You get a massage and they're like, now, how does this feel? And I'm like, I don't know! Leave me alone! I'm trying to get through life! You know what I mean? I have that kind of feeling. And so when you said that, I was electrified.

• 31:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like, I just, I don't know. I, I did this to myself, so what, what, what am I gonna do?

• 31:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not gonna complain to anyone. It's just, that's what it is.

• 32:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's true. I hadn't thought of that. Most people that walk around are like, oh, man, my hip. What happened? Oh, you know, just all those years of working at the plant. And for you, it's, well, I strapped myself to a rocket. Yeah. And had it fired into a concrete wall. You know, like Wile E. Coyote.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:18Conan O'Brien?

  And it's hard to be like, oh, man, that's tough.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, what happened? I know exactly what happened.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  We have footage.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  We have six cameras.

• 32:26Conan O'Brien?

  I can prove it.

• 32:30Conan O'Brien?

  Wow. Um, yeah, it's, uh, it, it's, I mean, it's incredible. It's so interesting to me, too, that you've referenced Hunter S. Thompson a couple of times, someone's I had the honor of getting to interview, I think, twice, and, and, and your interest early on in writing. Do you know what I mean? These are, I, those are things that I feel very connected to. And Hunter S. Thompson was someone who put his entire, his self and his body and his sanity, he poured it all into his work.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:00Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, it's, it's fascinating to me that in a way you are in that vein. Do you know what I mean? You're, you're, you're, you're saying, okay, here's my body and I'm gonna put all of it into what I do. And it's gonna go through this, this grinder, but that's, that is my work.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is, that was my best guess, you know, honestly. Um, and I love Hunter, you know, I, like, two books kinda changed my life early on, like, on the road.

• 33:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  By Jack Kerouac. We were in a bar with my cousin and he hands me the book. I just, I didn't know people lived like that.

• 33:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  And it was, you know, I'm from a small town in Tennessee. Everyone lives there, stays there. And, and then I read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when I was 19. And I felt like I didn't know anyone could write like this and be so free. And, uh, after that, I, I was useless. You know, it's like my, my path was set, I guess.

• 34:00Conan O'Brien?

  That's so funny. Those are time in your life. I think I had just moved out to LA, 22, and I'm just only reading, um, you know, Fear and Loathing books.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:10Conan O'Brien?

  And it just spoke to me. Not that I, in my life, matched that in any way, but it takes you over in a way that, you know, at my age now, I don't know that it would. I'd like it, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't inhabit me the same way.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  And like, in actuality, if you're living like that, or your friends living like that, it's so fucking exhausting to be around.

• 34:33Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  I've had some friends who are just... I mean, Steve-O, he was off the rails.

• 34:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Just doing the worst drugs you can get your hands on. PCP, uh, those, those nitrous canisters, there would be, it would be a sea of nitrous canisters at his feet and it was exhausting. I mean, he'll tell you it was exhausting, but I mean, now he's like, he's doing great. He's been sober for well over, we put him away in 2008, so 17 years or something.

• 35:06Conan O'Brien?

  That's incredible. Good for him.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, I mean, people ask me, well, would you say something about if bravery? I'm like, that's, that's bravery. Like, he has to face that dragon every morning.

• 35:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  And he does, and he's, he's doing great and I'm really proud of him.

• 35:21Conan O'Brien?

  It is the most impressive thing.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:23Conan O'Brien?

  I see people do is, uh, you know, and it's just amazing that you can give yourself another chapter like that where it's like, Steve-O, can I get you anything? Some, uh, maybe, uh, do you have hibiscus tea?

• 35:35Speaker 02

  It, it takes you four seconds to stand in front of a bull, but he has to do something like this every, he has to face bulls all day long.

• 35:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. Do you ever get, when you're with all those guys and you guys together are together, do you ever have the thing of, guys, keep it down, you know, you know, it's, it's, it, you know what I mean? We're not that anymore. Keep it down. I, I don't wanna make too much noise tonight or I gotta get to bed. It's 9:15.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  I don't even, I wouldn't even know how to go about trying to quiet them down.

• 36:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know, it's just. You can try.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Tranquilize them down.

• 36:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I think, uh, I think everyone becomes worse in those situations if someone tries to, I don't think I ever do that. Well, here we go. Though we get that, when the cameras are off, especially early on, it was way worse than when the cameras are on.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 36:27Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it was, yeah. Very, they're very excitable.

• 36:34Conan O'Brien?

  It's like you're talking about gremlins or don't get them wet, you know?

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't get them wet with whiskey because they're very excitable.

• 36:46Conan O'Brien?

  It's funny you brought up safety coordinators or people that are there to make sure that everyone's behaving properly. Yeah, the times that I've been on a set where I had to do the most tame thing, literally the most tame thing, like go through the ceiling of the show The Office and land, land on a desk that's just like three feet below me, on Dwight Schrute's desk. And just, it's just like a little drop down. And at the time I'm doing it, I'm 40 and I'm just throwing myself around all the time because I'm a big kid. And someone's there like, let's talk. This is, let's walk through this. Now, we're going to hold your body in six different places. And slowly, yeah.

• 37:33Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta buy me dinner first.

• 37:36Conan O'Brien?

  And then they're gonna slowly, and then we've made the desk out of a special foam. And I'm like, guys, I, I grew up in a big family. And all we did was toss each other off of staircases. And that is my way of, you know, most times I have a comedy idea, the first thing I want to do is pretend to punch somebody and then I'm thrown through a glass window. It's, I like that kind of stuff. And I think I, I am not body aware in the way that I'm, I'm going to do something still at some point. Because I just think I'm having fun and I'm being funny and I'm goofing around and I'm going to forget that I'm 85 years old. Is, are you guys picking, are you auditioning for the new Jackass movie? Well, I have to say, I am.

• 38:21Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? I would. Yeah, I would do it. But it's just him falling out of bed. No, I think I would do, yeah. Yes. A big stunt for me is behaving myself in a crowded theater. No, I swear to God, there is a wish fulfillment with me. That's why I'm, I get so excited. And I used to, I'm obviously a big fan of yours and the stuff that you guys Doing and there was, there's always been part of me. It's funny to me. It's the yin and the yang. I am very cerebral and cautious and all of those things. And then there's the flip side of it where I kind of like it where I'm not in control. It's a relief from the other guy.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm cautious with my kids, right? I'm like, oh, but.

• 39:06Conan O'Brien?

  That's so funny.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  I was never, I was like a hell, I'm a total helicopter parent when they were little. Like I'm the guy underneath the.

• 39:13Conan O'Brien?

  That's hilarious. Monkey bars trying to like make sure they don't fall. Just you lecturing at nineteen year olds. Now listen. I want you to have your heads strapped on right tonight. And you have like a, you have an and iron sticking through your skull.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  A bicycle? Are you kidding me?

• 39:33Conan O'Brien?

  A bicycle? No way. You're gonna wear seven helmets. I love all of that. That's fantastic.

• 39:40Speaker 06

  I know, I do too.

• 39:41Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I, you know, I want to tell you, we had, um, uh, they let me watch the new Fear Factor. They gave us a link to it and I was really enjoying it. And I have to say, um, getting you as the host was a, was a stroke of genius on somebody's part.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  Yes, I'm, I'm very happy. I had a lot of fun, but uh. Cause I mean, it's not too much of a pivot from what Jackass was, except if I can't go at these people like I do my.

• 40:08Conan O'Brien?

  You're dealing with civilians here.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:10Conan O'Brien?

  And these people have pride. A sense of, a sense of self-esteem.

• 40:18Conan O'Brien?

  They want to live in society. They, they can use tools to make other tools. They hunt and gather. Walk on their hind legs.

• 40:32Conan O'Brien?

  They wish to procreate. Yeah. So, um, they, uh, no, it's, it's, it's fun because I also love that you get to be around it and it's, it's really fun that they're doing all of this stuff. And you're there wearing, uh, one of these fantastic like polo sweaters.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you. My wife was my costumer, Emily. So thank you.

• 40:55Conan O'Brien?

  It's, but you're always there like, ah, ha, ha, ha, enjoy. And you become the Ricardo Montalban on Fantasy Island. It's like. You don't have to break a sweat. And you're like, all of you, get into the giant meat grinder. And you're there, you know what I mean?

• 41:11Speaker 02

  You've earned it.

• 41:11Conan O'Brien?

  And it feels like you've really earned the right to be that guy.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's fun, like, uh, you know, I, when people, uh, display fear in an entertaining manner, I'm, I'm here for it.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  And I thought I was going, I first got the gig, I'm like, oh, man, I'm really going to make their life hell.

• 41:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  And I got excited and that's never good. But then as I got closer, I'm like, well, these kind, these are, these, they're different. Uh, you know, and there's money at stake and they're trying, these people actually do have phobias.

• 41:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  So I, I was like, maybe I'm, I just felt more natural to kind of help them through it.

• 41:53Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  But I still gave them hell. But mostly I, I, I like, I enjoyed both things.

• 41:57Conan O'Brien?

  It sounds to me like you've started to develop empathy.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  I did, I even teared up a couple of times in the show. It's like, cause you see these reality shows and people are, they cry, I'm like, everyone's fine. What are you crying about? You just met this person.

• 42:14Conan O'Brien?

  I can't feel my legs and you're crying.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Four days ago. But then a few people left the show, I'm like, I don't know, I, I spent too much time around my mother, I'm.

• 42:24Conan O'Brien?

  That's very, well, I'm curious if, do you ever get asked to like come back and speak at your high school or something and it's, do you know what I mean? Cause it's a strange thing to get, you know, because you've been extremely successful and iconic and now, um, we'd like you to speak to these young people. Like an anti-valedictorian? Yeah, exactly. Do as I did. Here's what I find worse. Screw college. Don't go to college. Fire a nail gun into your anus.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Hey, that's not half bad.

• 42:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's good. Oh, I could be a writer. If you, if you guys won't let me be in the new Jackass movie. Oh, we'll let you. I will be a writer. Has anyone ever? Oh, God. Fired hot lava? Into their urethra? Lava from Mount Etna.

• 43:17Conan O'Brien?

  You guys are like, Conan, no, it wouldn't work. It would evaporate the tissue around it.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Okay, I'll keep working on it.

• 43:23Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  I come in with really giant glasses. I'll keep working. Conan, I'm just spitballing here, but...

• 43:31Speaker 02

  No, I have never been invited to speak before, uh...

• 43:34Conan O'Brien?

  I love that.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  High school, college, or...

• 43:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  You know, and I don't blame them.

• 43:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. Well, I think you'd be a great... They should. They should. They're missing out on a great speech. So, I also was telling you, I'm obsessed with the new Fear Factor house. Because there's... Reality shows always take place in a house. It's always a similar-looking house. I don't care. This house is a house that's absolutely stunning, and it looks like the richest man in the world lives there, and he's got taste. It's like beautiful. This house is... Where is it?

• 44:06Speaker 02

  It's in, uh, West Vancouver. It is a beautiful place.

• 44:11Conan O'Brien?

  They have all these shots of it, and I just keep thinking about, I want to be on the show as a contestant, because I really want to try this lava thing.

• 44:20Speaker 07

  You can do that on your own.

• 44:21Conan O'Brien?

  I know, and I... And trust me, I have. It's getting the lava hot enough. It's a problem. But I also, I just, I love that house.

• 44:30Speaker 07

  Well, they do Celebrity Jeopardy. What about some Celebrity Fear Factor at some point, you know?

• 44:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  I'd love that.

• 44:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:36Conan O'Brien?

  Dame Judi Dench getting shot out of a cannon.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  You know? I was trying to convince, uh, the show Traitors. I'm like, we should have a jackass Traitors. Because all the things that you need to possess to be good in that show, none of us have. And we'll be physically attacking each other. We can be pranking.

• 45:05Conan O'Brien?

  I love that, that you go into a show where there's strategy and psychology, but you just start firing nail guns.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  No one's gonna wanna walk down to breakfast and open the door.

• 45:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  You know, you know what, no one's gonna wanna touch the door handle. It's, uh...

• 45:24Conan O'Brien?

  The genius behind, I mean, Alan Cumming, watching Alan Cumming say murder.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:29Conan O'Brien?

  Is the whole, I watched that show just for, his costumes are fantastic.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 45:35Conan O'Brien?

  And then, but no, you, Fear Factor coming into other shows.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:40Conan O'Brien?

  And I think, you know, like Password, um, you know, just...

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Just like it.

• 45:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:45Conan O'Brien?

  No, Jeopardy.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:47Conan O'Brien?

  You know, just shows where it's very intelligent shows, where people have to kind of use their streets, their knowledge. But you guys are just smashing everything.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  You could really amp it up for the celebrity Fear Factor 2, because these people know what they're getting into and they're in the business. So just hand me a pen and a piece of paper and, yeah, I can, that would be fun, just writing bits.

• 46:10Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I will, uh, I'll produce this with you.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 46:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I'll take very little money, and by very little, I mean 80%.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 46:18Conan O'Brien?

  Um, that'll be my biggest stunt. That's kidding. He's doing a Fear Factor show with you and getting most of the money.

• 46:27Conan O'Brien?

  That'll be, that'll be a pain like, unlike anything you've ever felt before.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Well, that may come at a price.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  No, I don't target, I, I can only target my, the jackass guys, it's...

• 46:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a trust, obviously, there's such a trust and there's real friendship there.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  I've had, I, in a couple of times that I've targeted a friend that was not part of, in a civilian, we'll say. And it just hurt his feelings and I'm like, oh, I'm never gonna do that again.

• 47:01Conan O'Brien?

  Isn't that the worst?

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, yeah, that was...

• 47:04Conan O'Brien?

  It is interesting you bring that up because they always say it's always, uh, you know, it's funny until someone gets hurt. And I always think, it's actually when someone's feelings get hurt.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:14Conan O'Brien?

  I, this, the bottom falls out for me. If, if, unless the person is pure evil and, and deserves to have a hurt feeling. But other than that, the times I've done, anytime I've done something and it got back to me, oh no, someone heard that joke and they were sad, I'm like, oh. Oh, man, that's the worst.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  It sucks the air out of the room. And then you feel, I just like, I'm a monster. And it was, I was doing things that not even like one tenth of what I do to the guys. But still, I was like, okay, I'm not gonna target anyone else, just. I can, you know, save it for my fellas and, and now Rachel Wolfson.

• 47:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. When is the next movie coming out?

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Uh, June 26th.

• 47:55Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:56Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, are you doing any stunts in the new one? Or do they cut to a dummy?

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, they always cut to a dummy.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  I can, I can do stunts. I just can't do anything where I get another concussion because I've.

• 48:11Conan O'Brien?

  How many have you had?

• 48:12Speaker 02

  16. So.

• 48:14Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know who I am right now?

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Yes, Andy.

• 48:20Speaker 02

  I don't care about a broken arm or ankle, but I just like can't have any more concussions.

• 48:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, I think that's a wise course of action.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  And I feel like I, I did my thing. I, I don't feel like I'm, uh, missing anything, so, uh.

• 48:34Conan O'Brien?

  That's good.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:35Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, if I saw you in the shower, I wouldn't be horrified. There's not.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Well, I think you probably would be.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  My God. I didn't know it could be so small.

• 48:54Conan O'Brien?

  There's just like a big piece of torso missing and you don't even notice it any. You keep like little knickknacks in there. You keep Hummel figurines and a little alarm clock in there.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  Pull my arm off to get my back.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Hey, Conan, hey, thanks a lot. Hey, this thing's great. I love it.

• 49:14Conan O'Brien?

  So what is your now commitment to the Fear Factor show? You just, uh, you're waiting to see?

• 49:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess it comes out tomorrow.

• 49:20Conan O'Brien?

  Tomorrow?

• 49:21Speaker 02

  14th, yeah, the premiere.

• 49:23Conan O'Brien?

  It's really fun.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  Thank you. And yeah, I'm, I'm hoping, I, I had so much fun. I'm hoping they pick it up, so. It seemed to do good on the sneak preview on Sunday.

• 49:32Conan O'Brien?

  The only thing that, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't, that I don't worry about, but, um, insects creep me out. You know, and I don't think I have a phobia about it, but I just always, a hairy spider to me is like the worst thing in the world, like a tarantula. So, uh, uh, an arachnid that has hair creeps me out. Uh, and the idea of, but then again, if I was on camera and there was a studio audience there and people were laughing and I knew they'd really laugh. If I went for it, I'd pick one up and start licking it as it stung my tongue and filled me with a heart paralyzing venom.

• 50:13Conan O'Brien?

  And I'd look to Karen and go daddy likes his gum gum juice and then I would die, you know?

• 50:21Speaker 02

  The thing about those hairy spiders is the hair gets in your eyes and it feels like asbestos.

• 50:28Conan O'Brien?

  I think you're talking from experience.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  No, it's, it's, you just can't get it, it just itches, it can't get it, uh, it can't get it off of you.

• 50:36Conan O'Brien?

  That's funny. I can bring up anything to you and you're like, here's the thing about a rhino horn in your ass. It's funny. You don't know is there's a, the horn is kind of waxy and then you can't get the wax out of your ass. Like anything I bring up, you're gonna go, you know, it's funny.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  The bull's horns are very dirty and that's when people get gored before penicillin. That was kind of it for them. But now they have penicillin, you can get gored pretty much all you want. Do you ever?

• 51:07Speaker 02

  There's one matador, I don't, I can't remember his name. He's been gored like 63 times. It's crazy.

• 51:17Conan O'Brien?

  When he gets a drink at a bar, all this.

• 51:22Conan O'Brien?

  Oldest bit in the world, but I love it. I'm fine. Look, look, look.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  He's my favorite matador, hands down.

• 51:31Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, it's funny. I think of a, a germophobic matador is a really funny idea. He's like, he's, he doesn't mind getting gored, but he keeps trying to use a wet wipe on the horn.

• 51:43Conan O'Brien?

  His cape is a big wet wipe.

• 51:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's like, it's kinda less cool, Diego. I don't care.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  You gotta wipe the bull's horns and hooves before he gets in the ring with them.

• 51:58Conan O'Brien?

  Well, this has been a blast. It's been really fun.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 52:01Conan O'Brien?

  And I really enjoy you on the new Fear Factor, and I just love talking to you.

• 52:06Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 52:06Conan O'Brien?

  You are just an infinitely charming fellow. And, and congrats on the new movie coming out and that you're thriving. It's just really, and that you're well, you're happy, you're here.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:20Conan O'Brien?

  You're able to move about.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yes. I, yeah, after I finished The Last Jackass, I was just, I was so happy, like, I'm still walking. I'm good.

• 52:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  So, uh, but thank you. You've always been so kind to me.

• 52:31Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God, you're kidding?

• 52:32Speaker 02

  I just, I'm a, I'm a big fan, and thanks so much for doing it. I really appreciate it. Oh, one last, you were talking about all these safety guys.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  When you're shooting something, you gotta get really shady, safety guys.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Our safety guys are the shady. It's just a little tip before I go.

• 52:52Conan O'Brien?

  So, there's no union?

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Oh, no. But like our alligator expert Manny, who dives in swamps at night with the miner's light and pulls alligators up from the bottom.

• 53:04Conan O'Brien?

  Jesus.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  He's a wonderful man. He is Tarzan. But he's our safety guy when we work with alligators. And so, you know, you filmed those safety meetings before, and they're like, okay, Manny,

• 53:16Speaker 02

  tell us, what's the plan here? He goes, well, uh, Steve-O will be in there with an alligator, and if the alligator bites him, hopefully he will let go.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  All right, let's shoot.

• 53:31Conan O'Brien?

  So that's good.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:32Conan O'Brien?

  You need a very shady

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:35Conan O'Brien?

  safety guy who probably wasn't a safety guy a month ago.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  You need a pretty good safety guy.

• 53:51Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 53:54Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 54:09Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 54:22Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 54:42Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 55:16Conan O'Brien?

  Owning a car or home comes with responsibilities. Sure, it's fun, but sometimes it makes you wonder why you ever longed for adulthood in the first place. I do that all the time. I'm like, oh, these bills, these bills. What am I gonna do?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:28Conan O'Brien?

  You know, when you own a house, you gotta fix it yourself. Sona, you see this to be true, right?

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, your garage door breaks and you're like, well, I have to fix it.

• 55:36Conan O'Brien?

  Probably at first you said, hey, I'll get the super to fix it. It's your house, dude.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  It's mine, dude!

• 55:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance to save you money. In fact, they work overtime to tailor your insurance policy around what you actually need. The only thing they can't do is get that Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty jingle out of your head.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

• 55:54Conan O'Brien?

  It's in my head all the time.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 55:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Start your quote at libertymutual.com.

• 56:03Conan O'Brien?

  Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is so good. It's almost impossible not to finish it before the meal arrives. It's just too good to wait. That happens to me sometimes.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 56:12Conan O'Brien?

  You can try rules like no sipping until the appetizer arrives, or you tell your friend, "Don't let me touch my glass." But every time you're staring at an empty glass. So if you've ever finished your Coke Zero before the first fry hits the table, you're among friends. It happens. Occupational hazard with Coke Zero.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:30Conan O'Brien?

  Real Coca-Cola taste, zero sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy an ice cold Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 56:43Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I am sitting here with Sona Mufassian.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:48Conan O'Brien?

  And normally now I'd say Matt Gourley, but he is out on maternity leave.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Paternity. He's a guy, he's a, he's a man.

• 56:56Conan O'Brien?

  I don't, I'm gonna stick with what I said.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  Oh, you're gonna, you're gonna double down on it?

• 57:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, he's on maternity leave, trust me. He got his knickers in a twist. He's out, he had a beautiful baby girl.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:09Conan O'Brien?

  Now, and very happy for him. Filling in for him is David Hopping. Now, this is a rare occasion where both of my assistants are sitting here with me. You've got Sona, assistant since 2009.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:23Conan O'Brien?

  And David Hopping, when did you really take over as my full-time assistant? When 2021?

• 57:28Speaker 01

  2021, when the boys were born.

• 57:30Conan O'Brien?

  That's right. Okay, so you've both assisted me, and I thought this is a great time to ask you guys some pretty blunt questions. And you have to be honest. No, seriously, you have to be honest. Okay?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  You mean, we don't have to try to protect your feelings?

• 57:45Conan O'Brien?

  No, just go for it.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Because we try that all the time.

• 57:47Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, I wanna, I think this is a good chance to know more about me. I am not in the least bit defensive, I'm an open book. This is gonna be fun.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 57:55Conan O'Brien?

  Can this be like a 30-minute segment? I'm curious. Sona, what was your least favorite thing to do for me?

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Whoa. The least favorite thing to do.

• 58:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, the thing that when I asked you to do it, you really hated it.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Apologize? Is that one? Can I say apologize?

• 58:09Conan O'Brien?

  Meaning when you would.

• 58:09Speaker 01

  When I messed up and you were just like, can you just feel bad about not doing something?

• 58:13Conan O'Brien?

  Cause you wouldn't do it.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  I know, that's your thing. But no, I think.

• 58:16Conan O'Brien?

  No, wait, well, say you, you screwed something up, which didn't happen a lot. I mean.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  It did, we made jokes, but I got things done.

• 58:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you got things done.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:25Conan O'Brien?

  But when things would go terribly wrong, uh, and I would say, oh, come on, Sona. You'd say, yep, that happened. And you would just plow ahead.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 58:34Conan O'Brien?

  And so I would sometimes, I'm just being honest, I would try to get you to apologize or say you feel badly about it and you wouldn't.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  I know, I know. Okay, here's, you know what?

• 58:42Conan O'Brien?

  So that's, that's a good answer.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  That, okay, so, but also, I'm trying to think of things I did regularly.

• 58:48Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  That I was just like, every time you would ask me to do it, I'd be like, oh, God.

• 58:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  And you know what? Honestly, I can't think of anything where I might need some time with it, cause.

• 58:56Conan O'Brien?

  You liked shaving my back?

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 58:59Conan O'Brien?

  You enjoyed that?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 59:01Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I didn't think you would.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Don't put that out there. I don't want people to think that was gonna hap, would ever happen.

• 59:07Conan O'Brien?

  You had the longest shaver in the world. She was on the end of a pole.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  Like back?

• 59:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah. She would be maybe 35 yards away from me.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  Like those gripper things?

• 59:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I was horribly cut up whenever you would do that, cause you were often on your phone while you were doing it.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  I know, I think that you, you're not a very high maintenance person.

• 59:25Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think so.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  I don't think you're high maintenance.

• 59:27Conan O'Brien?

  But now we switch it over to, David, what do you not like to do for me? Or it's kind of a drag.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  Um.

• 59:34Conan O'Brien?

  Be honest.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  I mean, let's see. Where do I start? No.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  I think, you know what? I, sorry, I just remembered, and I don't know if you have this too, there's times when there's something you ask us to do that we, I think we know you can just do on your own.

• 59:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  And then, I lived in Pasadena and you'd be like, can you just come to my house at nine in the morning to help me with this thing? And I'd be like, you know how to do that.

• 1:00:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  But now I have to be in traffic for like an hour and a half.

• 1:00:02Conan O'Brien?

  It was usually, how do I read my email?

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Uh-huh. Or how do I get into Netflix?

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  You can never get into Netflix?

• 1:00:10Conan O'Brien?

  Now, in my defense.

• 1:00:13Conan O'Brien?

  In my defense, it's very hard to get onto Netflix.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:16Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, next to impossible. You have to be a brain surgeon.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  Although I do want to say, I think I got hired because of things Sona didn't want to do, like running the errands and things is why I even got a job.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's actually true.

• 1:00:29Conan O'Brien?

  My various creams and balms, ointments and salves.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  So many creams.

• 1:00:32Conan O'Brien?

  And balms.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  And balms.

• 1:00:33Conan O'Brien?

  Salves.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Conan O'Brien?

  Immolants.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, gels.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  So I'm grateful for that.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  I know, and it was job security. Like, you know.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  When do I get one?

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  No, an assistant. That's right.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  When do I get an assistant?

• 1:00:47Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, when you have an assistant, that is the end.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  I'm gonna start a nationwide search.

• 1:00:50Conan O'Brien?

  That is the end of days. Um, I think, yes, the tech stuff. I'm constantly, I don't belong, I should not be living in this century. I'm, I'm, it's like I'm, I'm a, I'm an 18th or 19th century man. I, I, I think I would have been uncomfortable in the 19th century. Cause they'd be like, hey, can you pull that crank and make that steam powered thing work? I cannot do it, sir.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  We'd have to drive to you.

• 1:01:14Conan O'Brien?

  'Tis witchcraft. Talk to my assistant into Pasadena. Pasadena? No one lives there. Uh, that's not inhabited yet.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:01:24Conan O'Brien?

  Look, in my defense, uh, I abhor technology.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:30Conan O'Brien?

  And, and so, um, yes, I think that's probably the worst is when I call you up and say, I don't know how to take a picture with my phone.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:01:40Conan O'Brien?

  And then send it to someone. It's not that bad.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Which you've done a million, but sometimes you're in your head so much about something you have to do, that you do forget very basic things.

• 1:01:50Conan O'Brien?

  This, this is something that Sona was really on top of. She would always say, I'd call her up, and I don't think, to be fair, I don't think I would make you drive from Pasadena to my house.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  You didn't do it often, but there were times when, you know, I would, I'd have to be there, and it's my job.

• 1:02:07Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't know when I was making a sandwich if the bread goes on top.

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  You forgot how a sandwich works?

• 1:02:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and I needed you to be here to show me, so I was like, get here, fast.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, and also I liked going to your house. It's, it's fun there.

• 1:02:21Conan O'Brien?

  It's pretty nice.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:02:22Conan O'Brien?

  All those portraits of me, um, the statues in the yard.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I loved seeing that stuff.

• 1:02:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, me on horseback, naked, uh.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Oh, god.

• 1:02:32Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, I'd say shave the back of my statue.

• 1:02:36Conan O'Brien?

  So, you know, you know what's so crazy is that, uh, the, I would call you, Sona, and I would say, "I can't do this," and you would say, "Yes, you can. You have a phobia about it."

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:47Conan O'Brien?

  But it's very intuitive, and you would coach me, and I would realize that I'm very tech-phobic. And I will think, "I can't do this. This isn't something I could ever figure out in a million years." And because of you, I do try a lot now. Before I call anybody, I try to see if I could figure it out.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:05Conan O'Brien?

  And then when blue foam starts coming out of my device, I know it's time to get David on the horn.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  I'm really proud of you. He learned how to put things in his calendar on his own.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Oh, hey, you're doing it.

• 1:03:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Oh, good job, bud.

• 1:03:19Conan O'Brien?

  It's like we're talking about a one-legged turtle.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  That one-legged turtle, he learned how to make a poopy. Good for you, Mr. Gibbles.

• 1:03:30Conan O'Brien?

  I'll take it. All right. This is a serious question.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Conan O'Brien?

  Would you, uh, if my life was in danger, would you put yourself between me and the danger? Sona?

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  You know what? Um, like, would I sacrifice myself for you?

• 1:03:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Would you sacrifice your life for mine?

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  I probably would have before I had kids. Now I won't. Now, but I honestly, there were-

• 1:03:54Conan O'Brien?

  You're fired.

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:56Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I mean, I was gonna say, that's crazy.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Well, no, but also-

• 1:04:00Conan O'Brien?

  You shouldn't even, what do you mean, "before I had kids"?

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  I know. I'm not, I'm not like Secret Service. I'm gonna jump in front of a bullet for you.

• 1:04:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  But I think that I would have, I, I, I think that the, and I don't know if you feel this too, the need to protect you and make sure you are good-

• 1:04:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Is more so within the two of us than it is in a lot of people.

• 1:04:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. And I give you a lot of credit for that because, all joking aside, there were times- When I was on tour in 2010, I remember, I think I was in Eugene, Oregon, and we did a show. And afterwards, I said, hey, everybody meet me at this, like, there was a sculpture or something of a big red wagon. Yeah. I said, everybody meet me there. And I really went there because I wanted to be kind of like an Andy Kaufman happening. And there was a huge crowd there and you were with me, but then it was just so many people. You got sucked into this crowd. Sucked into this massive crowd. And then I saw you later back at the hotel and you were freaked out and you were mad at me. You were like, I didn't know how to protect you. And I said, you don't, that's not your job. Yeah. In those situations. Yeah.

• 1:05:02Conan O'Brien?

  I, I know, but I'm, that's my job in those situations. That's true. But you're very, yeah, you've always, look, all joking aside, I love you and you've always been, you're, you take really good care of me. Yeah. David, not so much.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Ah, there it is.

• 1:05:19Conan O'Brien?

  Here we go.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  Hey, we were in New York and you cut your head open.

• 1:05:22Conan O'Brien?

  Excuse me, are you filing, what are you doing back?

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 1:05:25Conan O'Brien?

  If I, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?

• 1:05:28Speaker 05

  I'm getting, I'm getting all the, I'm getting all the ads ready.

• 1:05:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, can you not do that right now?

• 1:05:32Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, I'm sorry.

• 1:05:33Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I keep trying to remove paper from people.

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  I'm sorry.

• 1:05:36Conan O'Brien?

  Gourley was doing it the other day and now you are, I think you're putting your thesis together.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  I, I.

• 1:05:41Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't realize you were at Princeton.

• 1:05:42Speaker 05

  I should have done this outside the studio.

• 1:05:43Conan O'Brien?

  Would you drop it on the floor right now? Drop it. God damn.

• 1:05:47Speaker 05

  Sorry about that.

• 1:05:48Conan O'Brien?

  I'm looking, I'm trying to talk to you guys and he's over here.

• 1:05:51Speaker 05

  I'm sorry.

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  He's not gonna jump in front of a bullet for you.

• 1:05:54Conan O'Brien?

  I, guess what? I wish you would. Because I'm hiring that guy now. He's the one who's gonna shoot you. Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  It's gonna be the bullet that you shoot.

• 1:06:05Conan O'Brien?

  I want you to shoot me and jump in front of that bullet and all your papers will go flying.

• 1:06:08Speaker 05

  I'm on it, I'm on it.

• 1:06:09Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, here we go. Oh my god.

• 1:06:11Speaker 05

  David was saying when, when.

• 1:06:11Conan O'Brien?

  David, go ahead.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  Oh no, I was gonna say, we were in New York at like one or two trips ago and you, I get a text from Liza that you cut your head open.

• 1:06:18Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  And I ran to a CVS and got you all the medicine, all the Band-Aids.

• 1:06:23Conan O'Brien?

  You did.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  And.

• 1:06:24Conan O'Brien?

  You did.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  So that's, I don't know where I'm going with that.

• 1:06:26Conan O'Brien?

  I knew what I did. Yeah, I walked into like a low hanging lamp.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:30Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I'm a freak.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Conan O'Brien?

  Uh.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  It's not meant for people of your height?

• 1:06:34Conan O'Brien?

  No, they like hung a lamp and they thought, don't worry. Ninety nine point nine percent of the people won't hit this lamp with the rusty corner.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:43Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yeah, I slammed into it and there was blood shooting everywhere.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  It was like bruised.

• 1:06:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. But you, you did go get a bunch of pulses.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  I got everything CBS had.

• 1:06:53Conan O'Brien?

  Treatments, herbs, remedies. It was, uh, but would you, let's say the moment comes down to it and it's my life for yours. Would you make the ultimate sacrifice?

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  This is a crazy question.

• 1:07:05Conan O'Brien?

  It's, you know what?

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 1:07:06Conan O'Brien?

  This should have been in the interview.

• 1:07:09Conan O'Brien?

  Would you?

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  I think that we really won't know until it happens.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, that's a good answer.

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  It'll be a game time decision.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Conan O'Brien?

  You just gave me your answer.

• 1:07:21Conan O'Brien?

  What cafe are both of you working at?

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what? I think one of, we do need to stay behind to let Liza know you died.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Conan O'Brien?

  This is so dark, but you're right.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  Yes, I mean, you know, how's she gonna know?

• 1:07:34Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? You'll both be chomping on sandwiches when you call her. Anyway, yeah, he didn't make it. But it's really bad. And no, no, no, no, I want hummus on the side.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:07:46Conan O'Brien?

  Hummus, hummus. I said it correctly.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  I, but why, why is it always hummus?

• 1:07:51Conan O'Brien?

  You eat a lot of hummus.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  I do like, I do like it.

• 1:07:54Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, sometimes you don't even have hummus, but you have it in your pockets.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Conan O'Brien?

  You have hummus on you at all times.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  I wish, I really wish. I wish it was like a bowl and I was just dipping pita chips in it all the time.

• 1:08:05Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, listen, I, uh, you, you guys are both fantastic. I will say that, I'll deny it. I'm glad this isn't being recorded.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:13Conan O'Brien?

  You're both fantastic. Oh, why are we recording these? And let's get back to Blaze shuffling papers noisily off camera. So that my ads are in the right order when I read them 20 minutes after we end this recording. Uh, incredible. Thanks, both of you. Godspeed.

• 1:08:33Speaker 07

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:08:53Speaker 07

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:09:43Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:09:53Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:09:57Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Uh, no, but maybe-

• 1:10:00Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  I know, I remember that. That was not good.

• 1:10:05Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, well, anyway, now you've got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters. You can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.

• 1:10:27Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:10:30Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Did you know that, David?

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 1:10:38Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  I know, you expect me to know everything.

• 1:10:42Conan O'Brien?

  I knew this because I've-

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 1:10:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka-Seltzer Cold: Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief. Among oral products used as directed.