‘There’s Something About Mary’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey try to figure out how Ted got the frank above the beans after rewatching the 1998 comedy classic ‘There’s Something About Mary,’ starring Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz, and Matt Dillon. Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Matt Pevic Get more value with the McValue menu at McDonald’s Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to by Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Halloween's just better with a scary movie and something good to drink. Angry Orchard's limited edition glow in the dark thriller variety pack is the perfect companion. It even includes a mystery flavor can featuring the iconic ghost face from Scream. Don't get angry, get orchard this Halloween. Find Angry Orchard in a store near you or visit angryorchard.com. Angry Orchard's cider company, LLC. Angryorchard.com. Please drink responsibly. Angry Orchard is a hard cider with other natural flavors.

• 0:44Bill Simmons?

  The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the Big Picture with Sean Fantasy, now newsletter writer.

• 0:51Sean Fennessey?

  Yes, that's right.

• 0:52Bill Simmons?

  Projections.

• 0:52Sean Fennessey?

  That's right.

• 0:53Bill Simmons?

  How's that going for you?

• 0:54Sean Fennessey?

  Very well. As you know, writing is very easy and so it's been coming along nicely. Thank you for asking.

• 0:59Bill Simmons?

  How much sleep have you had the last two weeks?

• 1:01Sean Fennessey?

  I'm sleeping very well. It's the writing that is the challenge, so I'm working on it.

• 1:04Chris Ryan?

  I offered to edit it today and he rejected that.

• 1:07Bill Simmons?

  Did you really?

• 1:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08Bill Simmons?

  Do you have an editing team?

• 1:09Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, vast fleet of very skilled men and women that are working closely.

• 1:13Chris Ryan?

  Claude, GPT.

• 1:15Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, all them. No, I wouldn't know.

• 1:17Chris Ryan?

  I know, I know.

• 1:18Sean Fennessey?

  I would never do that.

• 1:19Bill Simmons?

  Are you gonna allow people to come in for a guest paragraph on physical media?

• 1:22Sean Fennessey?

  This is the second time that you've asked if you can come in for a guest paragraph.

• 1:26Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's all I'm capable of is a paragraph.

• 1:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, you say that, but then you're gonna be like, actually, I just kinda let it rip.

• 1:31Bill Simmons?

  At 5,000 words. Sierra, what are you up to? You still working?

• 1:35Chris Ryan?

  My real passion is my hobby.

• 1:39Chris Ryan?

  We're just working with Andy Greenwald on the watch.

• 1:43Bill Simmons?

  Sounds great.

• 1:46Bill Simmons?

  There's something about Mary, a classic, and it's next.

• 1:51Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Apple and AT&T. Scroll long enough and you'll hear it all. Miracle diets, fitness trends, you name it. But with iPhone and Apple Watch, you get meaningful insights from a very trusted source. Your body. You can track sleep quality, cardio fitness and more, then unpack all the information in the health app on iPhone to get a picture of your overall health. These health insights are developed with clinical experts from start to finish. Find out more at apple.com/health. Apple Watch is not a medical device and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.

• 2:50Bill Simmons?

  All righty. Hardest I've ever laughed in a movie theater. Mount Rushmore. Naked Gun.

• 2:57Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 2:58Bill Simmons?

  There's Something About Mary, The Hangover, and Buffalo Bill and Silence of the Lambs. That's my top four. Three of them were comedies, including this one.

• 3:07Chris Ryan?

  Hereditary, like in the mix there at all or no?

• 3:16Bill Simmons?

  Got it. No, those are my top four. But I saw this in the theater with my future wife and just raucous laughter. People just love this movie. And it was a phenomenon.

• 3:28Sean Fennessey?

  How long had you guys been together when you saw this?

• 3:30Bill Simmons?

  The first summer we were together.

• 3:31Chris Ryan?

  Oh, wow. One of the first movies you guys saw together, probably.

• 3:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, one of them.

• 3:34Sean Fennessey?

  Did you think of it like a test in any way? Like if she likes this, we're good?

• 3:40Bill Simmons?

  You know, I didn't think of that at the time, but I do feel like I was probably destined to be with somebody who would have laughed during a lot of this movie. Right? If you're sitting next to somebody who's like, ugh. Probably a bad sign. What about UCR? Where'd you see it?

• 3:54Chris Ryan?

  Still one of the most memorable theater-going experiences of my life. I saw this in, I believe, in Boston. I think almost as soon as it came out and it was like, it was like watching like people go through like a religious experience, like falling into the aisles, people crying, like sodas and popcorns flying in the air. And that's that kind of two-track mind you have watching it where you're laughing at it and you're also like, I can't believe they're pulling this off or I can't believe they're going for this. So yeah, just definitely like burned into my memory.

• 4:25Sean Fennessey?

  I vividly remember seeing it for the first time. I saw it with 10 friends. It was in the summer of 98. I was 15, turning 16. And it was like going to church for a bunch of teenage boys. It was like the apotheosis of what was happening in comedies at this point.

• 4:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:44Sean Fennessey?

  And raucous laughter. I think as I look at the movie now, which I still think is so funny. I actually don't think it's really lost an inch of how much it makes me laugh. But I don't think I really understood what the movie was trying to accomplish at all. Like I, I could only react to the set pieces. Like I wasn't thinking about the ideas. I wasn't even thinking about the weirdness of the characters. And so it's funny that it still has the power that it had when I was with 10 other dudes in a movie theater.

• 5:10Chris Ryan?

  It was a really weird re-watch because I was like, oh, I'm going in and it's Frankenbeans and it's hair gel. And I was like, is Matt Dillon in this movie? One of the greatest comedic performances in cinema history coming out? I was like, this guy is throwing a perfect game in this movie.

• 5:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I remember, um, Goldman wrote about this in a couple of different ways, but he, he was obsessed with this movie, how like smartly constructed it was. He did the more adventures screen trade and did a whole thing about the zipper scene. And just how brilliant it is. I think that's what, it's been on a million times. I always get sucked in. The structure of it, how smart it is, how well constructed it is from start to finish, how good the character's in. Like we had the Dion Waiters Award. It's probably 10 Dion Waiters in this movie and they're all coming in hot. And the movie just doesn't let up. And, uh, I don't think it peters off at all.

• 6:03Sean Fennessey?

  No.

• 6:04Bill Simmons?

  The first hour is probably a little funnier, but I think it, it just rides. And then you have like great performances, including Cameron Diaz, who was like, became an A-plus lister after this movie.

• 6:16Chris Ryan?

  I, the funniest thing about watching it this time was.

• 6:21Chris Ryan?

  How gutsy it is for Stiller to basically do this movie and the entire film is him reacting to stuff. It's like, it is the most straight man lead performance in a comedy that I can think of in a lot of ways because it's so thankless, he's gonna basically get, his balls caught in a zipper.

• 6:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Chris Ryan?

  He's gonna blow his load and he's gonna get, like, run through the wringer this entire movie. And everybody else is gonna get to have-

• 6:47Bill Simmons?

  Don't forget about rest stops, the bathhouses and the nineties.

• 6:49Chris Ryan?

  He's just gonna pee.

• 6:52Bill Simmons?

  Hey, wait your turn!

• 6:55Chris Ryan?

  Dude, Jay Cutler in this movie. But it's just such a great lead performance because he's just like, "I'm gonna let everybody else cook while I move through this movie."

• 7:03Sean Fennessey?

  But by the same token, you can feel him making a choice that's like, "I found my movie star persona." Like, this is the movie that unlocks the similar kind of character he plays in like, ten consecutive studio comedies after this. So it's actually really smart on his part, because before this, you know, he's in some interesting movies and he's still trying to figure out, he's balancing a lot of these like, independent dramas, the same year as Permanent Midnight, same year as Less Than Zero.

• 7:27Bill Simmons?

  Don't forget your friends and neighbors.

• 7:28Sean Fennessey?

  Your friends and neighbors.

• 7:29Bill Simmons?

  Jason Patrick, telling a long story about the guy in high school.

• 7:33Sean Fennessey?

  And he's already directed Reality Bites and he's had the TV show, but he, this isn't the guy from Meet the Parents, you know? This isn't the guy from Night at the Museum yet, so he's figuring it out.

• 7:42Bill Simmons?

  I was gonna do this later, but we can do it now. He had not carried a movie yet. He was Ben Stiller's show, Reality Bites, Heavyweights, If Lucy Fell, Flirting with Disaster, Directed the Cable Guy. The year before, he did episodes of Friends and Larry Sanders. He was the second lead of Zero Effect in 1998 with Bill Paulman and Ryan O'Neal.

• 8:01Chris Ryan?

  I don't know if I-

• 8:01Bill Simmons?

  Sean owns it on 4K.

• 8:03Sean Fennessey?

  Really funny movie, really. Yeah, it's like a detective comedy that's played very straight.

• 8:07Bill Simmons?

  But I didn't think Ben Stiller could lead a movie. I didn't know what he was. And he goes from this, eleven-year run-up, There's Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Zoolander, Royal Tannenbaum's, Along Came Polly, Starskin Hutch, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Meet the Fockers, Heartbreak Kid, Tropic Thunder. Just all in a row.

• 8:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:23Bill Simmons?

  And he becomes the biggest comedy star we have, which I think the odds- In 1998 of like our next giant comedy star would be Ben Stiller would have been 100 to one.

• 8:33Chris Ryan?

  No, I never would have guessed it.

• 8:35Sean Fennessey?

  He was doing things outside of movie roles, though, like he was hosting the MTV Movie Awards and he was doing that, the famous, the, the Tom Cruise stunt double thing.

• 8:46Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:46Sean Fennessey?

  He was do, he was doing.

• 8:47Bill Simmons?

  He did have cool guy, cool comedy guy energy.

• 8:49Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, yeah. He was making himself known.

• 8:51Chris Ryan?

  But I almost could have seen him having like a secondary like Albert Brooks type career where it's like kind of a fringe character who directs his own stuff, but it's like a very niche kind of thing. For, so for him to be this, this mainstream is pretty surprising.

• 9:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's why Your Friends and Neighbors is so interesting because it almost seems like he's wondering if he should be a serious actor.

• 9:10Sean Fennessey?

  The Permanent Midnight too.

• 9:11Bill Simmons?

  Very, yeah, both those movies are very tough hangs.

• 9:14Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, very serious, like looking at like sexual perversion among couples, looking at addiction, like he, you can feel him trying to figure out like, what's the right path for me?

• 9:23Bill Simmons?

  Which ironically, Jon Stewart was a little like that too. He was, and he was one of the runners up for this movie, but he was also like, am I an actor or what am I? Stiller, I remember when he was on SNL for like the all time cup of coffee. I don't even think it was half a season, but did Eddie Munster. And he did a Tom Cruise and people knew he was still a Ramirez kid. I never saw the Ben Stiller show. I'm not going to pretend I was like, oh yeah, I didn't even really remember that happening.

• 9:52Chris Ryan?

  That was on Fox.

• 9:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was on Fox. It kind of came and went. And it wasn't until Reality Bites, which we talked about.

• 9:58Sean Fennessey?

  There's some funny stuff on that show though, and it had, you know, Cross, Snowden, Kirk and, and Jeanne Garofalo. It had a bunch of people who went on to be like.

• 10:04Chris Ryan?

  Did have like a crazy writing staff too, probably.

• 10:06Sean Fennessey?

  I think so, yeah.

• 10:08Bill Simmons?

  Funniest movies of the 1990s?

• 10:12Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to give my list from seven to one.

• 10:15Sean Fennessey?

  Funniest movies of the 1990s, you're just going to give this away right now?

• 10:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 10:19Sean Fennessey?

  You should put this on Substack.

• 10:23Bill Simmons?

  This is gonna be the new running joke.

• 10:25Sean Fennessey?

  Just saying.

• 10:26Chris Ryan?

  I can't tell if you like it.

• 10:29Bill Simmons?

  You'll have to read it on projections this Wednesday.

• 10:32Chris Ryan?

  And number one, coming Thursday.

• 10:36Bill Simmons?

  Actually, I'll give you a top eight, cuz I bumped Dirty Work. Dirty Work, eight. We've done that and rewatched them.

• 10:42Sean Fennessey?

  Hell, yeah.

• 10:43Bill Simmons?

  Groundhog Day, seven. Happy Gilmore, six. Wayne's World, five. Austin Powers, two, four. I think that was 1999. Dumb and Dumber.

• 10:56Bill Simmons?

  Tommy Boy. There's Something About Mary.

• 11:01Bill Simmons?

  That's what I have.

• 11:01Sean Fennessey?

  Sorry, Billy Madison was not on the list?

• 11:03Bill Simmons?

  Was not. That's my top eight.

• 11:05Sean Fennessey?

  Shameful.

• 11:05Bill Simmons?

  Doesn't mean that this shouldn't have had 20 movies, but I think Mary was one of the fun- I think it was the funniest movie of the 90s, leading me to my next list. Funniest movie by decade.

• 11:15Chris Ryan?

  Oh, how far back did you go?

• 11:17Bill Simmons?

  70s.

• 11:18Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 11:19Bill Simmons?

  They didn't know comedy in the 60s.

• 11:20Sean Fennessey?

  Funniest movie of the 1930s, go.

• 11:22Chris Ryan?

  Is that Bringing Up Baby in the 30s?

• 11:24Sean Fennessey?

  Sure, yeah. 39. Got it. Nailed it.

• 11:28Bill Simmons?

  Got it!

• 11:29Sean Fennessey?

  Is it 39? I don't even know. I think it is.

• 11:32Bill Simmons?

  What do you have for the 70s?

• 11:34Chris Ryan?

  The funniest movie of the 70s?

• 11:35Bill Simmons?

  Funniest movie.

• 11:36Chris Ryan?

  Slapshot.

• 11:38Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 11:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. But here's, I, my comedy tastes tend to go more towards character stuff than it is like Tommy Boy. Like, I think.

• 11:48Sean Fennessey?

  I would say Young Frankenstein. It's probably my favorite.

• 11:50Bill Simmons?

  All right, I had Animal House.

• 11:53Bill Simmons?

  1980s. Caddyshack, Naked Gun, and Airplane were my three finalists, and I need more time. But those were the three I had now.

• 12:00Sean Fennessey?

  When will you be deciding?

• 12:01Bill Simmons?

  I don't, maybe like seven podcasts from now. I'll let, I'll let people know where I land.

• 12:05Sean Fennessey?

  You should be doing a pod with Van and Joe and be like, just want you guys to know I've decided. I talked about this with Chris and Sean.

• 12:10Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you knew, but three weeks ago, 90s, Mary. 2000s gets really hard with Anchorman, Superbad, and The Hangover, and I don't, I need more time to decide on that.

• 12:22Sean Fennessey?

  I think it's Anchorman 2. The Hangover, which, you know, has many complexities in this day and age, did have a very similar feeling to this movie in theaters.

• 12:30Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 12:30Sean Fennessey?

  In theaters where it was like, this is a rock concert.

• 12:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, like when he, like, he gets teased in The Hangover, you're just like, in the face!

• 12:37Bill Simmons?

  Not at the table, Carlos, is still the funniest thing that's ever happened.

• 12:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 12:41Bill Simmons?

  And then 2010s, I actually think it's Bridesmaids.

• 12:44Chris Ryan?

  Is Step Brothers 2010s? No.

• 12:46Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's 2000. Oh, that's, so Step Brothers could be in the 2000s, too. What's your 2000s movie, Craig?

• 12:52Chris Ryan?

  My god, I have to pick one?

• 12:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 12:55Sean Fennessey?

  Now, quickly. Bill gets to wait seven weeks. You go now.

• 12:58Chris Ryan?

  Probably, I mean, Anchorman, I think, has like the most quotes that I've taken with me throughout my life. And then maybe super bad in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

• 13:06Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 13:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. It's impossible. Step Brothers and Hangover is so good.

• 13:11Bill Simmons?

  You almost need more time with it. I do think it's Bridesmaids for the 10s.

• 13:14Chris Ryan?

  Use Anytime, that would be good.

• 13:16Bill Simmons?

  Bridesmaids is so fucking funny.

• 13:18Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 13:18Bill Simmons?

  Like, it's like clearly the champ of that year. Anyway, I don't know if you had any quibbles.

• 13:23Sean Fennessey?

  Wasn't prepared for this query.

• 13:25Chris Ryan?

  Do we have a 2020s? Have you laughed this second?

• 13:30Bill Simmons?

  Do we have comedies anymore? What happened to comedies?

• 13:32Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, we just, well, Craig and I were just talking about one that's coming out in June called The Invite, which is pretty funny.

• 13:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah?

• 13:38Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah. Seth Rogen, Olivia Wilde, Edward Norton, and Malapie Cruz.

• 13:41Chris Ryan?

  God, what is the funniest movie of the 2020s?

• 13:43Bill Simmons?

  How sad is that? We can't even think off top of our heads.

• 13:46Sean Fennessey?

  There was just a big, big-ish comedy, smallish comedy this year. What was the 2026 comedy, the one comedy?

• 13:53Bill Simmons?

  Well, didn't the Naked Gun remake came out?

• 13:55Sean Fennessey?

  That was in 2025, yeah. But you said you were not so high.

• 13:58Chris Ryan?

  Like a comedy this year that did well?

• 13:59Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah. Well, the drama's pretty funny.

• 14:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Bill Simmons?

  Is it? I haven't seen that.

• 14:04Chris Ryan?

  Not Step Brothers funny.

• 14:05Sean Fennessey?

  Not a different kind of funny.

• 14:06Bill Simmons?

  Cool festivals, like you guys.

• 14:07Chris Ryan?

  It's a movie that made $100 million. It's been out for like weeks. You could have just gone.

• 14:12Bill Simmons?

  The drama?

• 14:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Bill Simmons?

  It's the fucking basketball playoffs. I'm not going to the movie theater.

• 14:15Chris Ryan?

  It was out before the basketball playoffs. It was Pattinson and Zendaya. You're the consumer. You're the guy who's got four screens.

• 14:21Bill Simmons?

  I'll see it when it's on a streamer.

• 14:22Sean Fennessey?

  Did you see Netflix's new film, Oops, I Pooped My Pants and Also Killed My Daughter's Boyfriend?

• 14:30Bill Simmons?

  Does that exist?

• 14:32Chris Ryan?

  Have you, if you go on public with your-

• 14:33Bill Simmons?

  That's a great title.

• 14:37Bill Simmons?

  They should do that.

• 14:38Chris Ryan?

  But it's like, have you talked publicly about how you watch things called like I'm My Own Mother on Netflix? And you're like, you're sending texts?

• 14:46Bill Simmons?

  I've never seen that one.

• 14:47Chris Ryan?

  As if you're like, you guys up on this yet? Like, me and Sean are sitting around.

• 14:51Bill Simmons?

  I'd like to let you guys know what the common people are watching. Nobody dumps my daughter is something you guys need to know about.

• 14:58Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, it's always like.

• 15:00Bill Simmons?

  Husband, father, killer.

• 15:01Sean Fennessey?

  I just stabbed a drifter with a tire iron and also I found my mom.

• 15:06Chris Ryan?

  2032, nobody dumps my daughter rewatchable.

• 15:09Bill Simmons?

  Nobody dumps my daughter is the best title of all time. Just wait till we do our rewatchables next year. This movie laid the ground for the 2000s R rated comedy boom.

• 15:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 15:21Bill Simmons?

  Really starting with American Pie and Road Trip, but then old school really officially kicks it off. But I think this pulled the seal off. Comedies cannot be R rated because they won't make as much money. This movie made a shitload of money.

• 15:33Sean Fennessey?

  See, I, I thought of another movie that I chose for my double feature, but I feel like is in, in concert with this, which was American Pie. I felt like, because American Pie came one year later and it was like those two summers.

• 15:45Bill Simmons?

  But did American Pie, part of the reason it pushed the envelope was because this movie pushed the envelope? And they were like, no, maybe he can fuck a pie.

• 15:54Sean Fennessey?

  Yes, totally.

• 15:55Bill Simmons?

  I think, I think it did help.

• 15:57Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, I, I think that's right.

• 15:58Chris Ryan?

  The stories about the test screenings for this movie and how the Farrelly brothers were like completely open to the idea of like, maybe this will be too far and maybe this won't work. And then them showing it and Peter Chernin just being like, yeah, don't, don't change a thing. I was disgusted, but don't change a thing.

• 16:13Bill Simmons?

  Well, they filmed the two different versions of the hair gel. You know, that was the deal they made with Cameron Diaz. It will have this too. And if it doesn't work or however they did it, not knowing if people would be like, that's disgusting. I'm leaving. And it was the opposite. It was, and if you watch that scene, when it cuts to her with the hair, like not a lot's happening in the dialogue because they know how funny it is. And everybody's gonna be laughing. So it kind of doesn't even matter what they're saying. Yeah. Cameron Diaz, who did the mask in 1994 out of modeling. It was like the first thing she ever did. 1996, She's the One.

• 16:52Sean Fennessey?

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:52Bill Simmons?

  Which I consider the dream team too. A lot of people think it's the Olympic team that year we had with Shaq and.

• 16:57Sean Fennessey?

  No.

• 16:58Bill Simmons?

  It's actually.

• 16:58Sean Fennessey?

  Burns.

• 16:59Chris Ryan?

  Burns gets Aniston.

• 17:01Sean Fennessey?

  Maxine Bonds, Aniston, Cameron Diaz, and.

• 17:05Bill Simmons?

  Leslie Mann.

• 17:06Chris Ryan?

  And Tom Petty on the soundtrack.

• 17:07Sean Fennessey?

  Don't forget it. Tom Petty.

• 17:08Bill Simmons?

  Don't forget Amanda Peet.

• 17:10Sean Fennessey?

  And John Mahoney. Amanda Peet. Who else?

• 17:12Bill Simmons?

  That's my, that's my 1996 dream team. My Best Friend's Wedding.

• 17:17Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:17Sean Fennessey?

  Good film.

• 17:18Chris Ryan?

  She's fantastic in that too.

• 17:20Bill Simmons?

  Really good.

• 17:20Sean Fennessey?

  Very funny.

• 17:21Bill Simmons?

  And then Mary in 98, and she becomes a A-list star, ends up in Being John Malkovich, Any Given Sunday. Charlie's Angels, Shrek, Vanilla Sky. Tough casting in Gangs of New York, maybe that's a redo.

• 17:34Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 17:34Bill Simmons?

  Um, and it just keeps going from there. And she also had high-profile relationships, Sean, with Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake, and A-Rod.

• 17:42Sean Fennessey?

  Hmm.

• 17:43Chris Ryan?

  Those all eight.

• 17:43Bill Simmons?

  You know what I've learned? She doesn't have a type. She married Benji Madden. She's just love is love for her. Doesn't matter who it is. She could have fallen for Craig. Could have been anybody.

• 17:53Sean Fennessey?

  Uh, you're married.

• 17:54Bill Simmons?

  Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake, and A-Rod.

• 17:57Sean Fennessey?

  That would be weird if she fell in love with 13-year-old Craig in 1999. How old was she?

• 18:01Chris Ryan?

  I was five.

• 18:02Sean Fennessey?

  Five, okay.

• 18:02Chris Ryan?

  It would have been really weird.

• 18:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 18:04Chris Ryan?

  Is she married now?

• 18:05Bill Simmons?

  Benji Madden.

• 18:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Oh, well, I mean, you know.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  You're not checked up on that.

• 18:09Sean Fennessey?

  She's back, by the way.

• 18:10Bill Simmons?

  She's back.

• 18:11Sean Fennessey?

  She retired.

• 18:11Chris Ryan?

  She was in the Jonny Hall movie, right?

• 18:13Speaker 03

  And one last year with Jamie Foxx.

• 18:14Sean Fennessey?

  She was. Back in Action was last year, and this year was Outcome.

• 18:18Bill Simmons?

  Where do you stand on Mary as the perfect girl? Cause this movie does a lot of tricks.

• 18:22Chris Ryan?

  I think it's the most interesting conversation that's probably come out of the couple of decades of discourse about this movie is how knowing it is about the different ways you can read it. So you can read Mary as, I think there's a Dave Kurline, um, the critic Dave Kerr, who said that she was like a fantasy of flawlessness.

• 18:43Bill Simmons?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:43Chris Ryan?

  And that everything Mary does is like the exact dream scenario for a guy.

• 18:48Bill Simmons?

  Dave Kerr sounds like a fun hang.

• 18:50Chris Ryan?

  And then.

• 18:52Sean Fennessey?

  Very good critic.

• 18:54Chris Ryan?

  But then you could also flip it and say that the funniest thing about this movie is how it's the guys who are doing all the acrobatics to like bend their personas to what they think Mary wants from them. I don't know. I mean.

• 19:05Sean Fennessey?

  That's the ingenious idea of the movie, right? Is that she is supposed to represent this like ideal of male desire, right? Where it's like, she's into sports. She just wants to eat hot dogs.

• 19:14Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, she loves beer.

• 19:14Sean Fennessey?

  She golfs in her free time, you know?

• 19:17Bill Simmons?

  I really want to dive into this. Loves football.

• 19:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Bill Simmons?

  Eighty-five. She's in on the Niners early.

• 19:22Chris Ryan?

  At one point, she's like, do you want to come upstairs and watch SportsCenter?

• 19:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 19:26Sean Fennessey?

  No, she has takes on Montana's draft status.

• 19:28Bill Simmons?

  She has a fucking great golf swing.

• 19:31Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 19:32Bill Simmons?

  That's really her. Apparently, they had a golf standby, stand-in person.

• 19:36Chris Ryan?

  She over-rotates, but yeah.

• 19:38Bill Simmons?

  And you think so?

• 19:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:41Bill Simmons?

  A CR with golf tips.

• 19:42Chris Ryan?

  Well, I've just been, I've been in the like the YouTube mines with golf.

• 19:45Sean Fennessey?

  Talk, I mean, let's talk about it.

• 19:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I forgot your true passion.

• 19:48Sean Fennessey?

  Let it go, let it loose.

• 19:49Chris Ryan?

  I've been studying under the tutelage of a man named Mr. Tropicana.

• 19:52Sean Fennessey?

  Thank you.

• 19:54Chris Ryan?

  Who's taught me a lot about.

• 19:56Sean Fennessey?

  When you say studying, you mean just watching his videos, though? Like, you don't know the man?

• 19:59Chris Ryan?

  No, I don't go to Covino to like get his tips.

• 20:03Bill Simmons?

  Great golf swing. Loves meat on a stick.

• 20:06Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, sure.

• 20:08Bill Simmons?

  Really? Underrated cigarette smoker in this?

• 20:10Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 20:10Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if she de-narrowed it. Did you see that?

• 20:13Chris Ryan?

  Which is odd for an orthopedic surgeon, even at ninety-eight.

• 20:15Bill Simmons?

  Just she casually was like checking out people on the Copacabana, what bar was he in?

• 20:21Chris Ryan?

  I think so, Copacabana, yeah.

• 20:24Bill Simmons?

  Great person, works with special needs adults. Gives apples to homeless people.

• 20:30Chris Ryan?

  I think that guy just is a guy with a boat. Is he homeless?

• 20:33Sean Fennessey?

  He's not boatless.

• 20:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 20:35Bill Simmons?

  Was he hanging out on a boat?

• 20:36Chris Ryan?

  I thought he was like the dock master or something.

• 20:38Bill Simmons?

  He's in the IMDb as homeless man.

• 20:40Chris Ryan?

  Oh, okay.

• 20:40Bill Simmons?

  So I don't, I don't know whether, maybe it was a miscalculation. But yeah, she's basically great hang, laughing at everything.

• 20:49Sean Fennessey?

  But the idea that all these guys have to lie about who they are and what they want to get her, even though she is the on paper, if only. You know, my wife could be like this.

• 21:01Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 21:01Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 21:02Sean Fennessey?

  It's like the whole genius idea of the movie.

• 21:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they, these guys are all losers who don't really deserve her and they have to come up with these elaborate stupid ways to get her.

• 21:09Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 21:09Bill Simmons?

  And that's, I think, the joke of the movie.

• 21:11Chris Ryan?

  Yes. And, but it's like, I think that there's like, you could probably do the opposite read, which is like, this isn't a real person. So then, does the character work? But I, I tend to believe the, the opposite.

• 21:22Bill Simmons?

  You know what? In the summer of 1998, I was just thinking about the laughter.

• 21:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think we all were, I think we all were.

• 21:29Sean Fennessey?

  I definitely did not realize that this was a high level stalker comedy in 1998. I mean, that is what the movie really is. It's about a bunch of guys that are stalking this woman.

• 21:37Chris Ryan?

  So like, that's the funny, other funny thing is that you could say that this is like an update of a Preston Sturgis plot, like of a, of like a real screwball comedy. Like, you're never gonna believe what happens next kind of story.

• 21:48Sean Fennessey?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:48Chris Ryan?

  But I do think that all the guys are like, basically should be in jail by the end of the movie, including, including Ted.

• 21:58Sean Fennessey?

  I wrote down, this is when Harry Metzeli for Weirdos. I mean, that's really what the, the premise and plot of the movie is.

• 22:02Bill Simmons?

  So, Matt Dillon, an all time elite scumbag in this movie.

• 22:06Sean Fennessey?

  Phenomenal.

• 22:08Bill Simmons?

  And was dating Cameron Diaz in real life.

• 22:12Bill Simmons?

  Career resurgence of In-N-Out Wild Things and There's Something About Marriage. We just did Wild Things. He, as a kid actor, he was in three S.E. Hinton movies. He was in My Bodyguard, which was the first time I saw him. And women just love Matt Dillon.

• 22:29Chris Ryan?

  Drugstore cowboy, right?

• 22:30Sean Fennessey?

  Mm-hmm. Over the edge. Yeah.

• 22:31Bill Simmons?

  He's kinda all over the place with his IMDb, with a lot of twists and turns. He'd never really done a comedy like this before. He was the original choice for Butch in Pulp Fiction, which we talked about when we did the Pulp Fiction, that I think would have been.

• 22:46Chris Ryan?

  A huge.

• 22:47Bill Simmons?

  An important thing for him.

• 22:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:48Sean Fennessey?

  I think he would have been good in that part, too.

• 22:50Bill Simmons?

  I also, I don't know why he wasn't in Entourage as their older brother, why he couldn't have come in and done a three-episode arc. Yo, bro, I can't believe you're here!

• 23:00Sean Fennessey?

  I can think of a few reasons why he's.

• 23:01Chris Ryan?

  Would he be playing Matt Dillon? Or would he be playing Drama's?

• 23:04Bill Simmons?

  I think he's playing Drama's older brother. They, or like their half-brother.

• 23:07Sean Fennessey?

  Steve Drama, or like, what was it? Steve Drama?

• 23:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Stevie Drama.

• 23:13Bill Simmons?

  Weird career in the sense that it feels like there should have been a TV pivot to some sort of prestige show in like 2014 that never really happened. And I don't really know what he's been doing the last 15 years, but everybody likes Matt Dillon. He never did like his version of like that Kevin Bacon Show on Showtime or.

• 23:34Sean Fennessey?

  Eight, nine years ago, he did a Lars von Trier movie. Called The House That Jack Built, which is a crazy, no, it was a movie. It was, it's like a movie about a serial killer. It's a crazy movie.

• 23:43Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I thought it was a split up. I never saw it.

• 23:46Sean Fennessey?

  No, no.

• 23:46Chris Ryan?

  He did an Apple show with, uh, with Patricia Arquette. That was kind of like a crime show, like a noir desert show.

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  Was it a show where somebody dies in the beginning and then you go backwards?

• 23:54Chris Ryan?

  I think it is actually. It's called High Desert.

• 23:56Sean Fennessey?

  Did they solve it?

• 23:57Chris Ryan?

  Uh, well, I think they only did a season of it. I remember watching one.

• 24:00Sean Fennessey?

  We'll never know.

• 24:01Bill Simmons?

  Craig, have you seen that Apple show when somebody dies in the beginning?

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I think so. Yeah, I saw that one.

• 24:07Bill Simmons?

  We don't know who did it, but then each episode ends and then could have been that person, but then.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  And then there's another season. It's a whole new cast, but it, there's also murder at the beginning of that season.

• 24:14Chris Ryan?

  But it's spiritually under the same umbrella of like the first season.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  It's like the same theme song, but a little different every time.

• 24:20Bill Simmons?

  And every actor peaked like six years ago, but their agent definitely told them it was gonna be a great idea.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like that show.

• 24:26Chris Ryan?

  Matt Dillon feels like he, he's primed for a White Lotus appearance.

• 24:30Bill Simmons?

  That's the thing. I, I feel like if Matt, if Matt Dillon gets dropped into any sort of cool, if he'd been in Beef, anything, people, the reaction would be, hey, Matt Dillon.

• 24:40Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 24:41Bill Simmons?

  I love Matt Dillon, but he's always kind of existed in that world where people like him. I don't know. I feel like he's two movies short, Sean.

• 24:48Sean Fennessey?

  I know what you mean. You know.

• 24:50Bill Simmons?

  It's a little like Mikal Bridges on the Knicks right now.

• 24:52Sean Fennessey?

  All right, all right. Just settle down, please. Um, it's only six years later that he's in Crash, which is a joke now, but at the time, one best picture. And he's the handsy police officer.

• 25:01Bill Simmons?

  And he's good in Crash. Whether you like that or if you're not, he's good in it.

• 25:04Sean Fennessey?

  Not, not, not, not a great character.

• 25:07Bill Simmons?

  Not a good character, but he's the performance.

• 25:08Sean Fennessey?

  He gives a good performance, but then after that, here, here are the movies he makes after Crash. Lover Boy, you seen that?

• 25:15Bill Simmons?

  Not the Kirstie Alley one.

• 25:17Sean Fennessey?

  No. Um, Factotum.

• 25:20Bill Simmons?

  Never heard of that.

• 25:20Sean Fennessey?

  Which is a Bukowski adaptation. Um, Herbie Fully Loaded.

• 25:25Sean Fennessey?

  You, Me and Dupree.

• 25:26Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:28Sean Fennessey?

  Nothing.

• 25:28Chris Ryan?

  I don't mind You, Me and Dupree.

• 25:29Sean Fennessey?

  Nothing but the truth, the Cape Beck and Sale political drama. Old Dogs with with Robin Williams and John Travolta.

• 25:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Old Dogs?

• 25:37Chris Ryan?

  Isn't that the motorcycle movie?

• 25:38Bill Simmons?

  No, no.

• 25:39Sean Fennessey?

  No, that's Wild Hogs.

• 25:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh, come on, Chris.

• 25:41Sean Fennessey?

  Old Dogs is about.

• 25:43Bill Simmons?

  It's Wild Hogs.

• 25:45Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, Wild Hogs and Old Dogs is a killer double, though.

• 25:49Sean Fennessey?

  Takers? You seen Takers?

• 25:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the Will.

• 25:51Sean Fennessey?

  Thriller with Paul Walker.

• 25:52Bill Simmons?

  Couldn't he have been prisoners instead of Hugh Jackman?

• 25:55Sean Fennessey?

  This is a rough 10 years.

• 25:56Chris Ryan?

  Is he in like 187? Or what? What is the like the thriller he's in? It's like Anthony Mackie one. That's pretty good where he plays like a.

• 26:04Bill Simmons?

  But the wheels have come off.

• 26:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and he plays like an armored truck security guard.

• 26:07Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, that's called Armored.

• 26:09Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Sean Fennessey?

  He plays Mike Cochran, opposite Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Milo Ventimiglia, Skeet Ulrich, and Columbus Short.

• 26:17Bill Simmons?

  Oh, okay. This is like when I when I texted you guys a couple of days ago with Mark Wahlberg's IMDb in the 2020s and it's like, when did Mark Wahlberg just give up? It's seven straight years of just, ugh.

• 26:30Chris Ryan?

  Yep.

• 26:31Bill Simmons?

  It's just, oh, and I thought I didn't realize it was over, but apparently it was. Sometimes I guess that happens.

• 26:35Chris Ryan?

  I think it's, I think for, do you want to have the Mark Wahlberg conversation or the Matt Dillon conversation?

• 26:40Bill Simmons?

  Oh, either.

• 26:40Chris Ryan?

  Okay, the Mark Wahlberg thing, I think he he used to work routinely with really interesting and challenging directors and now no longer does for the most part.

• 26:49Sean Fennessey?

  You know, Matt Dillon was in Asteroid City, the Wes Anderson movie. You didn't see that?

• 26:54Bill Simmons?

  We're there.

• 26:54Chris Ryan?

  Maybe it's not done, right?

• 26:56Sean Fennessey?

  He's a mechanic.

• 26:57Chris Ryan?

  He's the mechanic.

• 26:58Bill Simmons?

  He's phenomenal in this part. It's really, really funny. I can't even think of anybody else who would have been good in this in the same way.

• 27:06Sean Fennessey?

  So he's like always likable and interesting and he's a, I think he's a good leading man in all those teen movies in the in the 80s. But do you think that because he was dating Cameron Diaz, he was felt like more free? He's never been this funny. Like, I, like, what explains, you know, Deuce, Deuce and a Half? Like, his, his facility with the jokes is so good.

• 27:29Chris Ryan?

  They're changing their image.

• 27:33Sean Fennessey?

  This is about to work for Ricearoni.

• 27:34Chris Ryan?

  I think the, it's always fun when a actor is known for dramatic parts, does a comedy, and is in the comedy treating the part as seriously as he would any drama. But he, Matt Dillon knows how fucking funny this is.

• 27:49Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 27:50Chris Ryan?

  But he's like Pat Healey, private eye, who falls in love with his own subject. I'm, I'm like 110% committed to it, and...

• 27:59Bill Simmons?

  Even when he's mugging, it's funny, like when...

• 28:01Chris Ryan?

  But his willingness to do it, to put on the veneers and to wear the stupid shirts is just unreal.

• 28:06Bill Simmons?

  Or when Tucker's telling Mary all the fake stuff about him, like he killed a guy, and he's just in the car like...

• 28:13Bill Simmons?

  Like just, he just knows the jig is up.

• 28:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:17Bill Simmons?

  Um, he's really great in this.

• 28:18Chris Ryan?

  Do you feel like this movie, like when you, when you were like, "Let's do something, there's something about Mary", I was like, "Absolutely, like this is such a singular experience, watching this thing." Do you feel like its second life has been more muted than you would have thought in, when you first saw it?

• 28:34Sean Fennessey?

  I had a follow-up, related question to this. If you had to guess, what number in terms of popularity is this movie for Cameron Diaz on Letterboxd?

• 28:46Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 28:46Sean Fennessey?

  Cause you could make the case, this is her biggest and most important movie.

• 28:50Bill Simmons?

  I would've said The Holidays first.

• 28:52Sean Fennessey?

  Holidays is ahead of it.

• 28:54Chris Ryan?

  Malkovich is ahead of it, probably.

• 28:56Bill Simmons?

  Charlie's Angels is probably ahead of it, cause people are dopes. That movie's awful.

• 29:02Bill Simmons?

  What else? How far is it? How far down is it?

• 29:05Sean Fennessey?

  14.

• 29:07Chris Ryan?

  That's wild. How is it measured? People's star ratings?

• 29:10Sean Fennessey?

  It's popularity on this app.

• 29:12Chris Ryan?

  It's just how many people have starred the movie.

• 29:13Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, I think who like it, the ratings, all those things are taken into consideration, but it is... You know, you've got some weird outliers, or you've got like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, she's in like one scene in that movie, but like Gangs of New York is ahead of it, The Mask is ahead of it, all the Shrek movies are ahead of it, Vanilla Sky is ahead of it, My Best Friend's Wedding is ahead of it. In 1998?

• 29:34Sean Fennessey?

  You know, we were like, not only is she the new Julia Roberts, she's like the new Audrey Hepburn. Like, she's like, this is a person who's on the collision course with mega startup.

• 29:42Chris Ryan?

  And from 1998, this movie is standing on its own two feet against Titanic, Private Ryan, and Armageddon. Titanic, Private Ryan, and Armageddon have gone on to all be rewatchables, I believe. All be rewatched by people like routinely, all the time. And this, I feel like, when you mentioned it to me, I was like, oh, yeah. Like, but I haven't watched this movie in forever for some reason.

• 30:06Bill Simmons?

  I think part of the problem with it, other than there's probably some stuff that people feel like hasn't aged well.

• 30:13Bill Simmons?

  It's like big set pieces that people feel like they don't need to see it because they know what the set pieces are. Where it's like, oh, yeah, there's gonna be the two scenes with the dog, and there's gonna be the one, the hair gel scene, and there's gonna, you know, the zipper scene, and I have seen that, but I don't think it gets enough credit for how smart the script is. And how good the actors are in it. It also feels like it belongs to a different generation.

• 30:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Bill Simmons?

  Because I was looking at the 98 movies that were comedies. There's Something About Mary, Big Lebowski, Waterboy, Rush Hour, Wedding Singer, Night at the Roxbury, Half-Baked, Dirty Work, and Basketball. Just feels very 90s. You know, and then.

• 30:52Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, but Lebowski hasn't endured, you know, like some, sometimes movies have been endured.

• 30:56Bill Simmons?

  We know why. Yeah, I don't know why this one didn't endure. Look at the Coens.

• 31:00Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I thought you were gonna be like.

• 31:01Bill Simmons?

  It became, it was a cult movie that, you know, I think grew some legs as the years passed and has a bunch of fun people in it.

• 31:09Sean Fennessey?

  It does, I, I had the same thought, though, while watching it, where it's like, it has kind of turned into a little bit of an artifact, which is an interesting, for me, it's probably one of the first examples of a movie that when it happened, I was very aware of it, I was consuming a lot of media around it, a lot of reviews of it, magazine stories about it. And I felt like, well, this is just an absolute neutron bomb for a teenage boy. Like, this is a huge thing. And now, and I think some of it is what you're describing, but the thing about the stuff that is insensitive or hasn't aged well or whatever is, the only people who are doing that stuff are the people who were meant to believe are buffoons in the movie. Like, the movie is relatively sensitive to some of the ideas that it's portraying.

• 31:47Chris Ryan?

  For sure.

• 31:48Sean Fennessey?

  For the people who are impacted by it and understand it or in that world, the family, for example. It's all the guys who are made to be the butt of the joke throughout the movie who are the ones who are insensitive. So like, that can't be the only reason, right, why it's come down a little bit?

• 32:00Chris Ryan?

  I was also wondering, like, you know, it's such a sincere movie in so many ways. Like, the soundtrack, the colors of the movie, it feels very pop. It feels very, kind of weirdly optimistic when you're watching it. You kind of have a mild grin on even when it isn't one of the big set pieces. And for better, for worse, so much comedy has gravitated towards, especially on-screen comedy. Not only is it on TV, but it's like Nathan Fielder and Tim Robinson in this kind of like, if you're gonna do something that's got an incredibly extreme sight gag, it has to be like really weird. You know, like, there can't just be like, this is really funny that this guy thought like masturbating before a date was a good idea.

• 32:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 32:43Chris Ryan?

  But it would be like.

• 32:45Bill Simmons?

  Flogging the dolphin?

• 32:45Chris Ryan?

  Then he gets caught by like a local newspaper if it was Tim Robinson.

• 32:49Sean Fennessey?

  Right, right, right. Even Tucker like wobbling back and forth. Something's just like, that's like Three Stooges, you know, it's just pure sight gag comedy.

• 32:58Bill Simmons?

  Farrelly Brothers, The Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There's Something About Mary in a row, basically.

• 33:02Chris Ryan?

  But this is the, they had to save themselves after Kingpin for the third one.

• 33:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Kingpin bombs, which I had forgotten.

• 33:08Sean Fennessey?

  An incre- just an all-time classic.

• 33:09Bill Simmons?

  Just bombed.

• 33:10Sean Fennessey?

  I popped it in immediately after watching There's Something About Mary. I love that movie so much.

• 33:14Bill Simmons?

  Um, that was Ed Decter and John Strauss, friends of the Farrellys, wrote the script. Farrellys bought it, ran with it, and they wanted to do something more for adults, Animal House style. And they knew this was their last chance, basically. This doesn't work. It's not gonna happen. Um, we'll take a break and then we'll talk about, uh, a couple other things, including the Oscars for that year.

• 33:37Bill Simmons?

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• 35:44Bill Simmons?

  So Goldman was adamant that this movie should have been nominated for Best Picture and that Cameron Diaz should have been nominated for Best Actress. I'll give you the Best Picture that year. Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private Ryan, and The Thin Red Line. Who are you bumping, Sean?

• 35:59Sean Fennessey?

  Easy, Life is Beautiful, Get It Out.

• 36:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, people, at the time. Ben Nini won. That also got nominated for Directed, or Director. He won for Best Actor. Best Actress in a Leading Role. Gwyneth Paltrow wins for Shakespeare in Love. Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth. Fernanda Montenegro for Central Station.

• 36:22Chris Ryan?

  Way to go.

• 36:22Bill Simmons?

  What are your thoughts on that one?

• 36:24Sean Fennessey?

  It's a Brazilian cinema classic. In fact, her daughter Fernanda Torres was nominated two years ago for Best Actress.

• 36:30Bill Simmons?

  Streep, One True Thing. Kind of like when Kobe would make the All Defense near the end of his career.

• 36:35Chris Ryan?

  I gotta be honest.

• 36:35Bill Simmons?

  Just automatic nomination.

• 36:36Chris Ryan?

  This is the first I'm hearing of One True Thing.

• 36:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't even remember what that is.

• 36:38Sean Fennessey?

  Well, you haven't listened to our Meryl Streep Hall of Fame then.

• 36:40Chris Ryan?

  I'm sorry.

• 36:42Bill Simmons?

  Oh, sorry, Sean.

• 36:43Sean Fennessey?

  Just outed him, sorry.

• 36:43Bill Simmons?

  Sorry, it's basketball playoffs.

• 36:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 36:45Bill Simmons?

  What is One True Thing?

• 36:46Sean Fennessey?

  You're grinding tape.

• 36:47Chris Ryan?

  He missed the drama, I missed the Meryl Streep.

• 36:49Sean Fennessey?

  Um, that's the one with William Hurt, right? Where she gets cancer, Meryl Streep's character gets cancer. And Renee Zellweger has to come home to help take care of them. Renee Zellweger, I think, plays a magazine writer. Very sincere drama, yeah.

• 37:01Chris Ryan?

  So she gets nominated for that.

• 37:02Bill Simmons?

  Emily Watson in Hillary and Jackie. But as we've discussed many times, the rewatchables, comedy performances and comedies in generals do not get treated with any sort of reverence from the Academy.

• 37:15Chris Ryan?

  It's a little harder to get Dylan into Supporting Actor, because it's Coburn, DuVall for A Civil Action, Ed Harris, Truman Show, Geoffrey Rush, Shakespeare in Love, and he is pretty amazing in that. And Billy Bob Thornton for A Simple Plan. So it's hard to know who you would kick out, but that's who I would, of the actors that I feel most passionately about, it would be Dylan for Supporting Actor.

• 37:35Sean Fennessey?

  I would have had Simple Plan and Truman Show in my Best Picture race that year, too.

• 37:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, if they had the nine films, I wonder if those two get added with There's Something About Mary. So anyway, nothing happens, they're not nominated for Screenplay either. Twenty-three Million Dollar Budget made three seventy.

• 37:48Sean Fennessey?

  Crazy.

• 37:48Bill Simmons?

  Fourth biggest movie in ninety-eight. Roger Ebert, three stars. What's a blessed relief is laughter. It flies in the face of manners, values, political correctness, and decorum. It exposes us for what we are, the only animal with a sense of humor.

• 38:02Chris Ryan?

  Hmm. We don't know that for sure. I don't know.

• 38:05Bill Simmons?

  Fucking cooking, could have added a half star. William Goldman wrote, "My choice for best picture was 'There's Something About Mary.' I would have given it best actress and best screenplay as well. The Academy has always ignored two of the hardest genres to create comedies and adventure flicks."

• 38:23Bill Simmons?

  He just loved this movie. Anyway, categories.

• 38:28Bill Simmons?

  Most rewatchable scene, piggyback ride into... He's only 230, huh? He's just like, his back's destroyed by Warren.

• 38:36Sean Fennessey?

  Just the noise of his back cracking when Warren jumps on it is very...

• 38:40Bill Simmons?

  Well, I don't know when we want to talk about Warren, but...

• 38:45Sean Fennessey?

  W. Earl Brown.

• 38:47Bill Simmons?

  I think Warren's incredible in this movie. I think it depends on what maybe some of your background is with the special needs community. We've had, my wife has that in her family, her Uncle David. My dad worked with special needs people for 15, 20 years. I love the way it approaches the whole concept in this. Like, you're always on Warren's side. I feel like they're not making fun of him anyway, like, he's just a comedy machine. But then as the years pass, it became, the Farrellys have even talked about, like...

• 39:17Chris Ryan?

  I think it's just the issue of casting somebody outside of that community.

• 39:20Bill Simmons?

  The Farrellys, basically, in the 2010s, they're like, "Look, we tried a million people, this was the best performance, it was a key part." By the 2020s, they're like, "Yeah, we blew this."

• 39:30Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 39:30Bill Simmons?

  And I get, I get it.

• 39:32Sean Fennessey?

  It's a complicated thing because that was not how people were thinking about it at the time, that that's who should be cast in these parts. And that's changed pretty dramatically in Hollywood. So it's really hard to come down on it. But I, that's, like I said, still one thing I like about the movie is, is like, who's not making fun of Warren? You could misconstrue it, though, if you were a teenager, I will say that. Like, it was pretty easy for, for people that I knew to misunderstand what the movie was trying to do.

• 39:57Chris Ryan?

  I know people who also have, like, special needs, family members, what have you, who were upset by that. But it's just like, but it's just, it depends on your personal experience and your taste level and your... I think also, like, it's a very different experience watching this movie in a theater and 350 people are clearly laughing at Warren. And you're like, "That's fucked up." Versus, like, watching it at home and being like, "I see what they're doing here and how they're kind of..." They're not, they're not, they're celebrating this guy. They're not like making fun of him.

• 40:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and the Fairlays who have done this in a lot of their movies about all types of people and them and all different types of handicapped people. He's actually the key to the movie because.

• 40:38Chris Ryan?

  He's the trustee, he's the barometer of which guy works.

• 40:41Bill Simmons?

  Trusting Ted is the most important thing that happens in the movie. Who's good for Mary. Yeah, and they built, they build it up. Anyway.

• 40:47Bill Simmons?

  The prom invite's really adorable too, that first scene. All right. Ted shows up to take Mary to the prom. This is just an unbelievable seven minutes, five minutes, whatever it is.

• 40:58Chris Ryan?

  This is my most fun part about rewatching it is I had forgotten Keith David in marquee post. Just crushing it. Yeah.

• 41:05Sean Fennessey?

  Keith David.

• 41:06Bill Simmons?

  The wedding photo?

• 41:07Sean Fennessey?

  Flawless, flawless in the scene. I, it, it, it, it immediately got like my energy up just watching him fucking with Ben Stiller.

• 41:15Bill Simmons?

  The wedding photo of them from the seventies is funny.

• 41:18Sean Fennessey?

  Which was clearly taken like one minute before they started shooting.

• 41:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Mary comes down the stairs and Keith David goes, ah shit, look at that.

• 41:30Bill Simmons?

  And then Warren attacking Ted is so fucking funny.

• 41:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Bill Simmons?

  Him going to the bathroom. The.

• 41:39Bill Simmons?

  She's a dental hygienist, she'll know exactly what to do. And her answer is to get Bactine. And then, uh.

• 41:47Sean Fennessey?

  When she sprays the Bactine.

• 41:49Chris Ryan?

  I don't know what the technical name is when you're doing comedy to just like keep adding layers and layers on top of the same punchline where like, and then the fireman and then the cop.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  It becomes like Naked Gun for a second. Like the cops climbing in through the window and the fire department shows up. It's so good.

• 42:06Bill Simmons?

  And Warren's throwing a hundred and ten because he hears the franks and beans. He starts yelling, franks and beans!

• 42:13Bill Simmons?

  That he was masturbating is hilarious. Lenny Clark pops in out of nowhere. This is just an A plus comedy scene. It's, I just have no notes. Every part is great. And even when you see the zipper for a split second, they don't stay in it too long. It's like, oh, ow!

• 42:29Chris Ryan?

  Also just the decision to have every actor just be direct, like playing their teenage self. You know what I mean? Like not having kids play the, the parts anyway and having Stiller as a teenager makes his character so funny immediately.

• 42:43Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, I think Keith David especially wanting to like get in there and take a good look at it.

• 42:47Bill Simmons?

  I think he puts his glasses on. This cracks me up. It's just the perfect comedy scene. And then it goes right into the therapy appointment with our guy, Richard Jenkins.

• 42:55Chris Ryan?

  This is like a dark horse for me, but Jenkins is unbelievable.

• 43:00Sean Fennessey?

  Look at the food in his mouth.

• 43:03Bill Simmons?

  Doesn't have anywhere to wipe his hands.

• 43:06Chris Ryan?

  Best areas are homosexual. Highway resters are the bathhouses of the 90s.

• 43:12Bill Simmons?

  Bathhouses of the 90s, one of the funniest ideas of any comedy.

• 43:15Chris Ryan?

  For many, many, many, many gay men.

• 43:19Sean Fennessey?

  Is the insinuation when he's like, we'll talk about this more next week, isn't it that he wants to talk about it?

• 43:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 43:25Chris Ryan?

  We'll delve into that next week.

• 43:29Bill Simmons?

  This is his only scene, right?

• 43:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. It's like uncredited. I think he like lived in the area and they were just like, do you want to do a day?

• 43:36Sean Fennessey?

  There's a funny cutaway to him in the montage at the end too, where he's like rubbing Stillers back from behind. That is also very funny to this joke.

• 43:44Bill Simmons?

  Jenkins, like underrated comedy actor.

• 43:46Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, speaking of Step Brothers, right?

• 43:49Bill Simmons?

  The therapy appointment with Jenkins and then the next one is Healy lies to Ted about Mary. After he comes back from Miami, she's about a deuce, deuce and a half. Ted, don't you want the name of the housing project? Just that two minutes is really great.

• 44:05Sean Fennessey?

  My favorite part of it, I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half is when he's like, not bad.

• 44:13Bill Simmons?

  Healy ropes Mary in at the golf course.

• 44:17Bill Simmons?

  Every part of this is, is my real passion is my hobby. He says the, I work with retards and she goes, isn't that a little politically incorrect? Well, to hell with the hat. No one's going to tell me who I can and can't work with, right?

• 44:31Bill Simmons?

  We got this one kid, Mongo. That scene is out of control.

• 44:36Sean Fennessey?

  I love those goofy bastards.

• 44:38Chris Ryan?

  A leash.

• 44:39Bill Simmons?

  Plenty of room to dig. That kid is really blossomed. I don't know how they did that scene.

• 44:48Bill Simmons?

  That scene's unbelievable. The crazy dog scene when Puffer passes out.

• 44:52Chris Ryan?

  Passes out? He dies. He fucking takes him back to life. That's also got, uh, Healy telling them in Nepal, the villagers there called me Kin, Kin Tanti. Which means noble man who is loved by many animal, who in kind he loves too.

• 45:13Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, God.

• 45:14Bill Simmons?

  The hitchhiker scene, where do you stand on that one, CR? Seven Minute Abs?

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Uh, 11 out of 10.

• 45:20Sean Fennessey?

  People don't know about Harlan Williams.

• 45:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, do you know about Harlan Williams, Craig?

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Yes, because the movie where he's the astronaut was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I'm blank, what's the name of that movie? Spaceman?

• 45:29Sean Fennessey?

  Is it Spaceman?

• 45:30Speaker 03

  I loved that movie as a kid.

• 45:31Sean Fennessey?

  It was really funny.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:32Bill Simmons?

  Step into my office, cuz you're fucking fired!

• 45:35Sean Fennessey?

  Seven's the key number here. Think about it, 7-11, 7 doors, 7 men, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea?

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Rocket Man, by the way.

• 45:50Bill Simmons?

  It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese! It's brie time, baby! He comes in hot. Theon Waiters is gonna be impossible. The, uh, the Joe Jackson scene with the flag football. Spikes the ball, exceptional by ass! He cheats in checkers and then he goes right, gets his teeth capped, cuz he overheard her talking about big white teeth. Uh, Chris Elliott goes to see Ted, is the next one. You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spanked the monkey before any big date!

• 46:21Speaker 03

  You got baby batter on the brain!

• 46:23Bill Simmons?

  You're going out there with a loaded gun!

• 46:27Bill Simmons?

  I do love the most honest moments in a man's life is the few minutes after he's blown his load. It's a medical fact, says that.

• 46:36Bill Simmons?

  We get the hair gel scene. The cut is great to the hair. We get Puffy and Magda going blockers on speed.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  And then Puffy attacking Ted.

• 46:45Bill Simmons?

  I like when he throws the 4.20, he's like, "You're gonna kill him! Don't throw another one!" And he looks at him and just whips another one out. Uh, we get the big confrontation when all the stalkers are all together. And then, uh, the closing credits are really good in this movie.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:59Bill Simmons?

  I like how much foresight they put into just filming on location as they're finishing scenes and then forcing everybody to do. Buttercup. All right, Sierra, what do you got? Most rewatchable scene?

• 47:09Chris Ryan?

  Man, I'm so tempted to go, uh, to go with Richard Jenkins, but I think the Healy meeting Mary, for me, honestly.

• 47:17Bill Simmons?

  The golf. That's from me as well.

• 47:19Sean Fennessey?

  Me too. It's the funniest stuff.

• 47:20Chris Ryan?

  And he's like, how do you know my name? It's written on your golf bag.

• 47:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And she's so likeable in it too. Where it's like, it's actually believable that she might fall for this guy.

• 47:30Chris Ryan?

  Well, it's also like, he's trying to do the like, the game, the like, like I'm gonna nag you a little bit.

• 47:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 47:34Chris Ryan?

  And like, kind of act a little aloof to see if that works, but just that, their, their chemistry is very palpable and outside of the major set pieces, that's my favorite.

• 47:43Bill Simmons?

  You know what else is impressive about that whole scene? The, the first driving range shot he takes?

• 47:48Sean Fennessey?

  Off the wall.

• 47:49Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 47:49Bill Simmons?

  He goes and it goes off his bag, like, kinda hard to do. I don't even know how they did that.

• 47:53Chris Ryan?

  Matt Dillon's dad was a golf pro.

• 47:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So it's almost, he must have intentionally did. What do you have?

• 47:59Sean Fennessey?

  That's my favorite scene. I will say anytime Ted and Pat are talking to each other is incredible, but specifically when he's updating him the deuce, deuce and a half scene. There's a moment near the end of it where he gets handed a Budweiser when they're sitting outside. And he goes, excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour. And the waiter walks in and he's like, yeah, whatever.

• 48:19Chris Ryan?

  There's also, uh...

• 48:20Sean Fennessey?

  That killed me this time.

• 48:21Chris Ryan?

  When Ted goes to see Pat to tell him, like, actually, he does wanna get in touch with her, but Pat's in the middle of quitting.

• 48:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:27Chris Ryan?

  And he's just, that's the whole, like, I'm going to Miami, I got a job with Rice and Ravioli.

• 48:33Chris Ryan?

  Isn't that in San Francisco trees, like, while they're changing their image?

• 48:36Sean Fennessey?

  It was.

• 48:36Chris Ryan?

  The thing about, wait, it was like, it was the sumo thing. It's like, she's a mail order bride.

• 48:43Bill Simmons?

  What do you have for most rewatchable scene?

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Probably the golf scene, or I do think any scene in, in Mary's apartment is really good. The dog stuff, the first time I saw this movie, the dog stuff slayed me. It's like a 13-year-old, just the physical comedy of that, of like, pile driving.

• 48:58Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, when he, when he puts the dog in the side headlock and then drops him down, that's pure gut busting.

• 49:03Bill Simmons?

  Great prop. The dog prop is really good. It really seems like the dog's alive, yeah.

• 49:07Chris Ryan?

  Go away from the light.

• 49:11Sean Fennessey?

  Shocking the top.

• 49:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so as for a butt cake, when they ask him if he wants anything.

• 49:16Chris Ryan?

  Do you want a Heineken or a Budweiser?

• 49:19Bill Simmons?

  What's the most 1998 thing about this movie?

• 49:23Bill Simmons?

  I have some runners up. Being excited about giving somebody a Tony Caniglare signed baseball.

• 49:29Chris Ryan?

  Sure, good one.

• 49:29Bill Simmons?

  That had a shelf life of about maybe 2003.

• 49:34Bill Simmons?

  Brett Favre.

• 49:35Chris Ryan?

  Cool Brett Favre.

• 49:36Bill Simmons?

  Brett Favre being a goody two shoes.

• 49:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 49:38Bill Simmons?

  Cool Brett Favre, any part of Brett Favre?

• 49:41Sean Fennessey?

  Yep, got it.

• 49:42Bill Simmons?

  Magda smoking Kools?

• 49:46Bill Simmons?

  A whole carton of Kools?

• 49:47Sean Fennessey?

  Are Kools still around?

• 49:48Bill Simmons?

  I don't even know if they have.

• 49:49Chris Ryan?

  I think Kools are still around.

• 49:49Sean Fennessey?

  Okay.

• 49:50Bill Simmons?

  I have a winner, but what'd you have?

• 49:52Chris Ryan?

  I had just like watching sports highlights at the end of the night being something that you build towards in your life. It's like, let's go home and watch game highlights.

• 50:01Sean Fennessey?

  Picking up Hitchhiker?

• 50:02Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 50:03Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one.

• 50:04Sean Fennessey?

  I mean, there's a tremendous amount of gay panic jokes in this movie, like, like a hundred of them.

• 50:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:08Sean Fennessey?

  You would never find that in a 2020 movie.

• 50:12Bill Simmons?

  Well, our winner is Cops, the TV show, being prominently involved in a scene.

• 50:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's not the only thing that's happening in that scene.

• 50:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:20Sean Fennessey?

  Woogie getting his knob polished while watching Cops is elite.

• 50:26Chris Ryan?

  Completely uncommented on, it's also the last moment the wife is in the movie.

• 50:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, the wife, her only, she's like the ideal crazy, perfect wife.

• 50:35Chris Ryan?

  But he's still obsessed with Mary.

• 50:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. What's age the best?

• 50:39Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, can I say, can I say one more thing?

• 50:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:41Sean Fennessey?

  The, the way that bad taste is played for laughs instead of like dramatic thrills is something really interesting to me about this movie. Like, bad taste is a skill and you can display it in a clever way. The Farrellys always do that. But like now, bad taste to the point about the drama or like Eddington, like then, like those taboos are things now that people play for like, ooh. Like, is, is it okay to be talking about this? Whereas?

• 51:02Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:02Sean Fennessey?

  And there's something about Mary, it's just pure comedy.

• 51:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they're just going for it. What's age the best? Rest areas being the bathhouses of the 90s. That joke is just as funny as it was in 1998. I don't know how you even come up with that. Also, from a what's age the best standpoint, just stopping at a rest area, you got like 10 years out of mileage of.

• 51:21Sean Fennessey?

  Mm hmm.

• 51:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, rest area.

• 51:25Bill Simmons?

  Go up there. Um, the musicians popping in, which we did not mention yet, Jonathan Richman.

• 51:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:31Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe this worked, but I really do think it worked.

• 51:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:34Bill Simmons?

  Thought it was a really funny, distinct part of the movie.

• 51:37Sean Fennessey?

  It's a such an unlikely choice. I, obviously a New Englander, right? So the Farrelly's very New England filmmakers and, but I, I can't, for whatever reason, picture Peter Farrelly rocking out.

• 51:49Chris Ryan?

  This is just like an amazing, like.

• 51:50Sean Fennessey?

  Jonathan Richman.

• 51:51Chris Ryan?

  Commitment to a bit, cause if that doesn't work, you're like, what the fuck? But like, that kind of speaks to, one of the things I have for What's Aged The Best is the regional specificity of it. The Rhode Island, Boston.

• 52:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He's got a Providence Bruins poster.

• 52:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. And the Miami stuff is just like, they find a lot of humor in those places. And I think one thing that's really been lost in more modern movies is like, you know, the drama is set in Boston, but it might as well be set in Copenhagen. Like, it doesn't really feel like Boston.

• 52:21Bill Simmons?

  It's a great point. We've talked about this with other movies, like, we were just better in the eighties and nineties at going into locations.

• 52:28Chris Ryan?

  Well, I feel like they just shoot in a couple of places in the country and then they're like, yeah, this will stand in for this. Or, or it'll just be any city. And you can get a lot of jokes. I mean, just having Lenny Clark in this movie, you know, is like a very knowing wink to the New England.

• 52:42Bill Simmons?

  And Steve Sweeney. Don't forget about him. You have any What's Aged The Best? Cause I had a couple more.

• 52:48Sean Fennessey?

  I just think most comedies age really badly and this one, I think is still really, really funny. It's still, it actually makes me laugh out loud.

• 52:56Bill Simmons?

  So I have a few, cause this was a big movie for me and my wife. Magda jokes about anyone you know in your life who got way too much sun. Like, ugh, veering a little toward the Magda side. Magda's just become a 28 year, uh, over suntan joke. Marky Post. I'm just so glad she's in this movie, just an absolute eighties icon and a legend and was trying to think her, her MBA example, like kinda like the Dominique Wilkins of the eighties, didn't get her just do, because everyone's talking about that Heather, Heather Thomas, Heather Locklear.

• 53:32Sean Fennessey?

  That might be overstating it just a little bit.

• 53:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't know. No, Marky Po- everyone loved Marky Po-.

• 53:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but Dominique.

• 53:37Sean Fennessey?

  What's on the resume for Marky Po-?

• 53:40Bill Simmons?

  Night Court. Night Court.

• 53:41Sean Fennessey?

  Right, Night Court, like that's it though.

• 53:42Bill Simmons?

  Some killer posters.

• 53:44Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Bill Simmons?

  Couple of good TV movies.

• 53:47Sean Fennessey?

  She win any dunk contests? Where's she on the all time scoring list?

• 53:50Chris Ryan?

  She'll go head to head with Larry Bird.

• 53:52Bill Simmons?

  So maybe she's more like a Terrence Stansbury, I don't know.

• 53:55Sean Fennessey?

  That's nice, yeah, that's good.

• 53:56Bill Simmons?

  It was like.

• 53:57Sean Fennessey?

  Don't get me wrong, I think she's great.

• 53:58Bill Simmons?

  She had an unbelievable Cheers episode. When she came in as Diane Chambers's best friend from college and hit on Sam Malone, and it might be the single best Cheers episode. And Diane finally flips out because they're flirting with each other the whole episode.

• 54:15Chris Ryan?

  She apparently was like pretty scandalized by this movie and was like really nervous to do it, but then was very happy she did.

• 54:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm glad she's in it.

• 54:22Sean Fennessey?

  She's one of the only people that really, really, truly pulled off eighties hair. Because she had some real eighties hair.

• 54:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 54:29Chris Ryan?

  For sure.

• 54:29Sean Fennessey?

  And it, it worked.

• 54:31Bill Simmons?

  Where you have to have basically the same haircut as Patrick Swayze in Young Blood.

• 54:34Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 54:35Bill Simmons?

  Um, flogging the dolphin for a big date?

• 54:38Sean Fennessey?

  That's aged well.

• 54:39Bill Simmons?

  That's just a running joke now. Flog dolphin?

• 54:41Chris Ryan?

  Did you ever say that to Ben?

• 54:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Ben going out.

• 54:48Bill Simmons?

  Pat Healy teeth, another running joke. Whoa, some big choppers.

• 54:51Sean Fennessey?

  They're more common than ever.

• 54:53Bill Simmons?

  The, uh, the lie that becomes a way bigger cover up lie. Um, I think has aged the best for me, but we grew up with this with seventies sitcoms. And now I don't feel like we do it anymore. Uh, this was like the staple of half of the comedies for 20 years.

• 55:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I, I also, um, I feel like in my life, after this movie came out, like if a guy ever came home and was just like, uh, but you know, she lives with her sister or something like that, people would be like, first chick in the armor, Ted!

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's right. What about Brett Favre when Stiller says that at the end? The Brett Favre thing, I think, kind of came with him for five, six years and then people forgot. I like that they have young Cameron Diaz and young Ben Stiller with the wig and braces and like, and it actually works and they look younger. Sometimes when comedies do this, it's, looks ridiculous.

• 55:44Chris Ryan?

  There's also something very sweet about opening with that, aside from the Frank's and Beans thing and like Ted's, you know, inciting incident, is to have that, like, idea of him as a character, as a kid, and be like, oh, this is like this sweet teenage love story and not just this deranged, middle-aged man who's like, "Time for me to stalk my high school girlfriend."

• 56:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, the key is that he still wants to see her, even though he's being told she's a deuce and a half.

• 56:12Chris Ryan?

  That's right.

• 56:14Bill Simmons?

  Tucker calling sex a good rogering?

• 56:19Bill Simmons?

  I'd never heard it before since, but it always makes me laugh.

• 56:22Chris Ryan?

  British slang.

• 56:22Bill Simmons?

  Maybe it would give you a good rogering.

• 56:24Sean Fennessey?

  Is there a rogering gag in Austin Powers?

• 56:27Bill Simmons?

  I've never heard the phrase rogering. Mary's theory that we need more meat on sticks. Does make you wonder why we don't, why it's just a corn dog.

• 56:38Sean Fennessey?

  Let's talk it out.

• 56:38Chris Ryan?

  I don't think I've ever seen you eat meat on a stick.

• 56:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, what's the other one they have, like a long?

• 56:43Chris Ryan?

  Well, it's like kebabs, but we're talking about fried ones.

• 56:46Bill Simmons?

  Teriyaki beef and appetizers.

• 56:49Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 56:49Bill Simmons?

  I always like having the stick.

• 56:50Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah. Well, do you think there should be more corn dog style? Like, should there be like a steak dog of some kind?

• 56:57Chris Ryan?

  No, I mean, I just, it's, I was just more surprised that this is something that's aged the best for Bill, because I don't often see him indulging in corn dogs.

• 57:03Bill Simmons?

  I think the theory aged great for me because I do like corn dogs. They have one in Santa Monica Pier that my wife has stalked. My wife loves hot dogs, as you know. But they have a-

• 57:15Sean Fennessey?

  As you know.

• 57:16Bill Simmons?

  Well, I've discussed before. She's a big hot dog, hot dog fan.

• 57:20Chris Ryan?

  You must have missed that sub stack.

• 57:22Sean Fennessey?

  I know a lot about your wife. I didn't know that she loves-

• 57:24Bill Simmons?

  Does your daughter eat hot dogs?

• 57:24Sean Fennessey?

  She loves hot dogs.

• 57:26Bill Simmons?

  Because the best part about hot dogs is when you have little kids, you get to relive the hot dog experience through the kids. You get hot dogs back, you get mac and cheese back.

• 57:34Sean Fennessey?

  That's true. You're honestly a hundred percent right.

• 57:36Bill Simmons?

  You get all this food, you little mini chicken nuggets.

• 57:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, one day, Craig.

• 57:40Bill Simmons?

  Things you just stopped eating.

• 57:41Sean Fennessey?

  I will say, it is okay for you to have a hot dog now, even though you don't have a child. But what you're saying is true, that like, they're like a weekly occurrence now.

• 57:49Bill Simmons?

  People don't go out of their way to have hot dogs unless they're at a baseball game.

• 57:53Chris Ryan?

  You know what? My wife and I, I think it was like during or right after COVID, would have like, like cookout nights, but it would just be the two of us. And I would, we would make hot dogs and I'd be like, it just doesn't hit the same when you're not with a bunch of people.

• 58:05Sean Fennessey?

  It's not a communal situation.

• 58:06Chris Ryan?

  If you're like, we're making hot dogs as our dinner, it feels a little beaten down.

• 58:10Sean Fennessey?

  It's just, it goes quick, you know? It's not a luxurious meal.

• 58:14Bill Simmons?

  When we went to the Giants game a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't decide whether I wanted a kielbasa or a hot dog. Got them both, double fisted.

• 58:21Sean Fennessey?

  No kidding?

• 58:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Many people have told me that we really fucked up by not getting the crab sandwich.

• 58:26Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 58:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  I was so close.

• 58:27Chris Ryan?

  I wasn't gonna do it.

• 58:28Bill Simmons?

  God damn, that really hurts.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  The lady next to me was like, you don't want to get it.

• 58:31Chris Ryan?

  Uh, baseball stadium crab. I don't care if we're having it in.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  It's on the bay, though.

• 58:35Bill Simmons?

  We're on the bay, come on.

• 58:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, sure. Lots of stuff happens on the bay.

• 58:38Sean Fennessey?

  Great ballpark, though, right?

• 58:39Chris Ryan?

  Awesome.

• 58:40Bill Simmons?

  My last one, Sage, the best is when Pat Healy is pretending he built the soccer stadium and Norm says, "You built the Estadio Olimpico?" And he goes, "No, just down the street, the Solento Callejón Towers."

• 58:56Chris Ryan?

  I have one more, which was, uh, when, when he goes, when Ted goes to see Woggy Dom, uh, at his law office, and Chris Elliott's got the poster up that says, "Bus crash, 12 kids killed. What does that cost us?"

• 59:11Sean Fennessey?

  It's on the whiteboard. Is it some sort of like insurance adjusters meeting?

• 59:17Chris Ryan?

  We didn't talk about Chris Elliott yet.

• 59:19Bill Simmons?

  We have a couple of spots. You wanna do it now?

• 59:21Chris Ryan?

  I just think that like, there's, there's the Lee Evans, like, there's the Tucker character, and then I, I, I found Chris Evans to be fucking hysterical this time around. I don't know if I-

• 59:32Bill Simmons?

  Chris Elliott.

• 59:32Chris Ryan?

  Chris Elliott, sorry, Chris Elliott-

• 59:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 59:34Chris Ryan?

  Was hysterical this time around.

• 59:36Bill Simmons?

  It's funny, cuz, um, I was a Letterman, early Letterman guy, and he was a writer, and they started using him on the show. It was the first time, so he, initially, he was the guy, the guy underneath the stairs, and he would come out. He'd like pop up, and it was like this running bit, he would interrupt the show, as like this psycho who lived in the stairs. And then he did The Fugitive Guy.

• 59:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 59:59Bill Simmons?

  Which was basically, every episode would end like The Fugitive, but it would be three minutes, and, um, but then, everything peaked when he was Marv Albert. He would come out and do the Albert Achievement Awards in this Marv Albert wig.

• 1:00:15Bill Simmons?

  And I just would have bought all this, I had all the Chris Elliott stock in like 1986. It was like, this guy is gonna transform comedy as we know it. And this, I think, was his biggest movie.

• 1:00:25Chris Ryan?

  I think-

• 1:00:25Sean Fennessey?

  And this is after Get a Life and after Cabin Boy, right?

• 1:00:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Sean Fennessey?

  Like, it kinda, it ha- it happened and it didn't hit-

• 1:00:31Bill Simmons?

  He had a bad SNL run, he had like a year in SNL, it didn't really work.

• 1:00:34Sean Fennessey?

  So this is kinda after all of that, and he's still, it's such a fearless performance, cuz Boogie is so gross.

• 1:00:41Chris Ryan?

  All the hives and stuff, yeah.

• 1:00:43Bill Simmons?

  He tried to do Marlon Brando, was another running character he tried to do on Letterman 2, but he was just, kept you on your toes. Matt Damon in your trip award for most unexpected A-lister cameo, Brett Favre.

• 1:00:56Bill Simmons?

  Great shot Gordon Award, what do you got, CR?

• 1:00:58Chris Ryan?

  You know what, I, do we just go for the ball shot?

• 1:01:00Sean Fennessey?

  It was my, the first one I wrote down.

• 1:01:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I think, I think it's just the most confrontational piece of cinema I've ever seen.

• 1:01:07Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like several moments in Cruising, right?

• 1:01:11Chris Ryan?

  A torsioned testicle.

• 1:01:13Bill Simmons?

  I have a better answer.

• 1:01:15Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:01:16Sean Fennessey?

  Better?

• 1:01:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I think how they hide the giant wad of cum on Ted's left ear for 12 seconds.

• 1:01:24Chris Ryan?

  Achievement in cinematography.

• 1:01:25Bill Simmons?

  And he turns. If you actually watch it, they do a really good job of, you only see him from this side. You never see the left ear. And so they really spring it on you. And I think it's impressive.

• 1:01:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Sean Fennessey?

  A lot of leering shots of Cameron Diaz through binoculars in this movie as well. I don't know if you guys picked up on that.

• 1:01:42Bill Simmons?

  I like when he got the bigger binoculars.

• 1:01:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Bill Simmons?

  Then sees Magda, but it's like, it's not, his binoculars weren't good enough. He needs like the, whatever. Chess Rockwell Brock Lander's award for best character named Magda.

• 1:01:53Chris Ryan?

  I had Dom Woggy Woganowski.

• 1:01:55Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's good. All right. Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness award, best needle drop.

• 1:01:59Chris Ryan?

  You love this soundtrack, don't you?

• 1:02:01Bill Simmons?

  I really like Mary's Prayer by Danny Wilson.

• 1:02:04Chris Ryan?

  I have Everyday Should Be a Holiday by Dandy Warhols.

• 1:02:08Sean Fennessey?

  Guys, it's Build Me a Buttercup, please.

• 1:02:10Bill Simmons?

  Buttercup's the answer, the ending.

• 1:02:12Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:02:12Bill Simmons?

  See, are you in flex category?

• 1:02:14Chris Ryan?

  Brandy Booth Award for the best performance by a pet goes to Puffy. Absolutely amazing dog performance. You know, I don't know how often they were using a dog puppet or a dog zombie. You know, like.

• 1:02:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:25Sean Fennessey?

  Zombie?

• 1:02:26Chris Ryan?

  Not zombie, but just like.

• 1:02:27Bill Simmons?

  You want to get a dog this movie?

• 1:02:28Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:02:29Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:02:29Chris Ryan?

  No, but I like to observe from a distance and it seems fun. And it's just one of the, one of the funniest dog characters I can think of.

• 1:02:37Bill Simmons?

  It's the right answer. Dorfler's Door Award for how much did that hurt? The franks getting, the beans getting over the frank and the zipper?

• 1:02:45Chris Ryan?

  Ever had a friend who had some sort of like injury down there?

• 1:02:50Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, no.

• 1:02:52Sean Fennessey?

  You know, I've been thinking about this recently.

• 1:02:53Bill Simmons?

  It would have been the most important thing that ever happened to any of my friends if that happened.

• 1:02:58Sean Fennessey?

  You were saying about how when you have young kids, that mac and cheese and hot dogs come back into your life. The other thing that comes back in your life when you have little kids is accidental nut shots. Which like, I just.

• 1:03:08Bill Simmons?

  Or sometimes they're not accidental.

• 1:03:09Chris Ryan?

  They don't seem that accidental.

• 1:03:10Sean Fennessey?

  I have a daughter, not a son. So I'm fortunate to not get the, the purposeful ones.

• 1:03:15Bill Simmons?

  Ben had six months where he was just like, this is the one area I know I could hurt him.

• 1:03:19Chris Ryan?

  Funniest thing in the world.

• 1:03:20Bill Simmons?

  I'll just, and they're like the same height. They're like.

• 1:03:23Sean Fennessey?

  And that's like, that's the true human, the true male frailty. As you get, you surprisingly get hit in the nuts.

• 1:03:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Sean Fennessey?

  And you're like, I, perhaps I should just die now. Like, there's no recourse from that. So just pump that up.

• 1:03:38Chris Ryan?

  This is just such a great. Like depiction of everybody in the in the 90s and the 80s, I'm sure, like had the story about the kid in the other town over who hadn't pooped all summer.

• 1:03:50Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Chris Ryan?

  You know, like, it was just like the kid at prom who zipped his balls up and had to be taken away by an ambulance. It's just so, it's so resonant.

• 1:03:58Sean Fennessey?

  That's actually what that movie I told you about. Oops, I pooped my pants and killed my daughter's boyfriend. That's what that's about. It's about that kid.

• 1:04:05Chris Ryan?

  I almost said that guy's name on the relatable.

• 1:04:07Sean Fennessey?

  There was a real guy?

• 1:04:10Sean Fennessey?

  Well, just say it. Just say, what's gonna happen? Is he alive?

• 1:04:13Chris Ryan?

  He is.

• 1:04:14Sean Fennessey?

  He didn't die from that, that.

• 1:04:15Chris Ryan?

  No, but he had to go to the hospital.

• 1:04:17Sean Fennessey?

  He did.

• 1:04:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Sean Fennessey?

  What'd they do?

• 1:04:20Bill Simmons?

  We forgot to talk about how funny it was when they do the one, two, and then it cuts there. We got a bleeder.

• 1:04:27Sean Fennessey?

  It's a great cut.

• 1:04:29Bill Simmons?

  You don't have a zipper story, do you, Craig?

• 1:04:30Chris Ryan?

  I don't. Fortunately, I don't.

• 1:04:32Bill Simmons?

  Do you come up with one later?

• 1:04:33Chris Ryan?

  So far, so good.

• 1:04:36Bill Simmons?

  I had a, I'm throwing in here, it's a book about medals award for belatedly best quota exchange. I took a job with Ricearoni. Isn't that the San Francisco treat? It was. It was kills me for some reason.

• 1:04:51Bill Simmons?

  He's like, no, no, it's over. It's not the San Francisco treat. I really enjoy that. And then the Billy Bats Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult. Come on, cough it up, Chompers.

• 1:05:02Bill Simmons?

  Pat Hilli won't pay his check right away.

• 1:05:04Sean Fennessey?

  I love, this one isn't directly to someone's face, but when Pat and Ted are talking and he goes, who, roller pick? Are you nuts?

• 1:05:12Sean Fennessey?

  And Ted says, you said she was a real spark plug. No, I said butt plug. She's heinous.

• 1:05:18Chris Ryan?

  You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sort of like, um, tuna. My favorite Billy Bats is actually Favre being like, I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.

• 1:05:32Bill Simmons?

  Butch's girlfriend or Weak Link in the film?

• 1:05:34Chris Ryan?

  I got this one. What do you got?

• 1:05:37Chris Ryan?

  Theatrical cut, Sully, the Jeffrey Tambor part. So, and this is also because after you've watched like Earth's Development, you're like Jeffrey Tambor's in this movie. It must be like really significant. In the extended cut, he has an entire plot line about him falling off the wagon and being eaten by a python. But in this theatrical cut, you're just like, why is he in this movie? And what was this whole, what was the point of this?

• 1:06:00Sean Fennessey?

  Which one did you watch to prepare for this?

• 1:06:02Chris Ryan?

  I watched the theatrical and then went to the, just the Jeffrey Tambor scenes of the extended cut.

• 1:06:08Bill Simmons?

  It's tough to cut Jeffrey Tambor, but I don't think this movie needed more stuff in it.

• 1:06:12Sean Fennessey?

  No, he's very funny when he picks Pat up from the airport as well.

• 1:06:16Bill Simmons?

  What did you have for Weak Link?

• 1:06:19Sean Fennessey?

  I mean, there's not really like a person that is not good.

• 1:06:22Bill Simmons?

  I have a, I have a strong Weak Link.

• 1:06:24Chris Ryan?

  Tucker, the...

• 1:06:26Sean Fennessey?

  I like Lee Evans. You're about to go in on Lee Evans?

• 1:06:28Chris Ryan?

  Let's hear it.

• 1:06:28Bill Simmons?

  I have Tucker.

• 1:06:29Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, no.

• 1:06:33Bill Simmons?

  It's a nitpick as well. I just don't understand Tucker's plan.

• 1:06:37Sean Fennessey?

  Well, okay, but that's...

• 1:06:39Bill Simmons?

  To me, it's a Weak Link.

• 1:06:40Chris Ryan?

  Tucker's plan is the weakest link.

• 1:06:42Sean Fennessey?

  I have that in the category.

• 1:06:44Bill Simmons?

  So, he meets Mary, he falls for her. He pays somebody to break his bat with a baseball bat, so then she could treat him as an orthopedic surgeon. Pretends he's an English guy with a cane who's, who's basically crippled now from this injury. But he's also delivering pizza on the side and he thinks this is gonna land Mary, but what happens when he actually lands Mary? Like, he has the worst plan of anyone in a movie.

• 1:07:10Chris Ryan?

  And if Mary is an orthopedic surgeon, wouldn't she look at new x-rays of his back and be like, your back has been healed? Because clearly you're walking around delivering pizzas.

• 1:07:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't understand really any part of it.

• 1:07:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:20Bill Simmons?

  What he's up to. But it's only one of the things you notice after watching this movie 12 times.

• 1:07:25Chris Ryan?

  And taking it seriously when it's not meant to be.

• 1:07:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I just felt like Tucker could have maybe three more hours in the spitball session on Tucker. Maybe Tucker got injured on a motorcycle. Mary treated him and then he beat, yeah, there's some better version.

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  I don't disagree. I, I think he's a little bit turned up. I know the movie's ridiculous, but Sean, what you were saying earlier about how Matt Dillon's character is taking it seriously. Chris Elliott, I feel like is taking it seriously. I do feel like Tucker is the only character where I'm like, this actually does break the world a little bit. He, he is like, uh, doing something bigger than the rest of the characters in the movie. It's a little more slapstick and screwball than anyone else.

• 1:07:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I also had him for the Ruffalo Hannah Rubinak Partridge Overacting Award.

• 1:08:02Speaker 03

  I was, I was considering for that.

• 1:08:04Bill Simmons?

  He really dials it up one of the times.

• 1:08:06Sean Fennessey?

  It's weird what happened with him because he was the star of Mouse Hunt. Remember the movie Mouse Hunt in 1997? Did you ever see that movie?

• 1:08:12Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:08:12Sean Fennessey?

  And then there's Something About Mary and then he's in The Ladies Men, he was in The Fifth Element, he was in a bunch of stuff in the late 90s. He was a big stand-up comic in England. And then basically never acted in movies again. He's only in a few more movies. Yes, the, the, the world agreed with you guys.

• 1:08:25Chris Ryan?

  Wait, what was your weakest link? You just didn't really have one?

• 1:08:28Sean Fennessey?

  I, there's not really an actor in this that I think is bad. In fact, I think it's like overstuffed with way overqualified actors.

• 1:08:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  You guys all like the musical interstitials?

• 1:08:37Bill Simmons?

  I personally do, but I'm used to them. I can see why.

• 1:08:40Chris Ryan?

  It's one of the only signals also that there's another, I don't want to say consciousness, like there's another POV on the story of the movie that's like, kind of like tongue-in-cheek. You know what I mean? And it's in a good way.

• 1:08:53Sean Fennessey?

  It's like a fable.

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  It's, yeah.

• 1:08:55Chris Ryan?

  You're just not a Jonathan Richman guy, apparently.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  It's okay. I, I feel like that's such an easy, like, four minutes that you could take out of the movie and I, I don't think it's.

• 1:09:02Sean Fennessey?

  He's always thinking about length.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Well, I, it's not even that. I just like, those are the moments in the movie where I kind of like, okay, I guess I'll check my phone until they're done singing.

• 1:09:09Chris Ryan?

  You don't find it funny when the sniper?

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  That was funny, sure, yeah. The gag at the end, maybe it's all worth it for that.

• 1:09:14Sean Fennessey?

  It's a good gag.

• 1:09:15Speaker 03

  But I did feel that, I, I felt like that was a little bit.

• 1:09:17Sean Fennessey?

  Uh.

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  The second time in, you're like, okay, I kind of get this.

• 1:09:20Bill Simmons?

  Craig, I forgot to ask you what the Horlbeck scale was for this.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  It's a two-hour movie. Um, I, like I said.

• 1:09:26Bill Simmons?

  Hundred and nineteen minutes, so we're plus, plus nineteen?

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  I do think you could probably shave five to 10 minutes of this movie and it's maybe a, a little bit tighter.

• 1:09:34Chris Ryan?

  So what would you take out besides Jonathan Richman?

• 1:09:36Speaker 03

  I think I would, you're probably gonna hate this.

• 1:09:38Chris Ryan?

  That's sacrilegious.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  I would probably, I don't, I don't think you need the hitchhiker scene and then I think you could get rid of the musical stuff and it's probably like an hour forty-eight.

• 1:09:44Chris Ryan?

  No, the hitchhiker scene is, how could you not have the hitchhiker scene?

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  It doesn't have anything to do with the movie. It's good.

• 1:09:51Bill Simmons?

  Listen, he's just horrible backing it up. Can I give you this on the Jonathan Richman?

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Uh huh. Is that the musician?

• 1:09:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the music stuff. It walks so the Dan Band could then run.

• 1:10:01Speaker 03

  Fair.

• 1:10:02Bill Simmons?

  With, uh, with The Hangover. And what was the other movie they ran?

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  They're in a bunch of stuff.

• 1:10:07Bill Simmons?

  They were in two big ones though. Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall?

• 1:10:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:10:10Bill Simmons?

  No, I mean, uh, no, Wedding Crashers?

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  Wedding Crashers.

• 1:10:14Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay. It's worth it if I get the Dan Band.

• 1:10:20Sean Fennessey?

  I think it's a great choice, the Jonathan Richman stuff.

• 1:10:22Speaker 03

  It feels very 90's.

• 1:10:23Bill Simmons?

  I, it does.

• 1:10:25Chris Ryan?

  Cutting the hitchhiker and then the subsequent interrogation scene is non-negotiable.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  When we do get the kindergarten cop guy.

• 1:10:32Chris Ryan?

  Speaking of which.

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  Which I like Leo DiCaprio mean.

• 1:10:34Chris Ryan?

  Ruffel O'Hana Ruback is, uh, Richard Tyson, the sweating detective.

• 1:10:37Sean Fennessey?

  Just tough. He's really going for it.

• 1:10:39Bill Simmons?

  Tough month on the rewatchables for Richard.

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  What do you think? He crushed it in this movie.

• 1:10:42Bill Simmons?

  We're gonna take Burnmore break and then, uh, do What's Age the Worst?

• 1:10:47Speaker 07

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• 1:10:55Speaker 07

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• 1:11:05Speaker 07

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• 1:11:16Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Trivia. Sweeteners are like movies. The best ones don't leave an aftertaste. That's why Trivia Alolos Plus Stevia Sweetener and Monk Fruit Sweetener is a smooth, balanced tri-blend that delivers sugar-like sweetness with zero calories per serving and no aftertaste. If you're looking for a better way to enjoy sweetness with zero calories per serving, you really need to try Trivia Alolos Plus Stevia Sweetener and Monk Fruit Sweetener. Available online and nationwide at Kroger, Target, and your favorite local grocery retailer. All right, What's Age the Worst? Brett Favre?

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:57Bill Simmons?

  It's a great casting in 1998. Now it's kinda weird to see him.

• 1:12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:02Bill Simmons?

  It's tough. Tough times for Brett. Also quarterback the Jets. And then, uh, Warren, Warren, I think, even the Farrellys are like, yeah, we probably fucked that up. We should have cast somebody who was special needs.

• 1:12:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:17Bill Simmons?

  That's not how they thought in the 90's.

• 1:12:20Bill Simmons?

  Peter said, "I wouldn't do that today. I would hire an actor with intellectual disabilities. They're all over the place." At that time, they weren't, didn't get the opportunities they're getting today. I don't have any other woods age of words.

• 1:12:30Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I, I didn't really have, I mean, once you go in on the premise of this film, it's, you know.

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  It's a comedy. Um, Sean, you have flex category?

• 1:12:40Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, usually this category is reserved for thrillers and horror films, but when would I have died? Um, is not the zipper. It's not when my date's father would have come into the room. It's when the police officer would come through the window. That's when I would have died from zipping my Johnson up in my zipper.

• 1:12:58Bill Simmons?

  Police officer would have intimidated you?

• 1:13:00Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, I think that would have scared stiff. Yeah, yeah. That's when I would have died.

• 1:13:05Bill Simmons?

  I like it. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. What do you got, CR?

• 1:13:11Chris Ryan?

  Is Ted the most deranged of all these guys?

• 1:13:16Chris Ryan?

  Is Ted sitting around, well, I, you know, obviously.

• 1:13:19Bill Simmons?

  I would rank Tucker first. I think Tucker's a fucking maniac.

• 1:13:22Chris Ryan?

  It's not the like, here's the, here's the mid-speed Ted.

• 1:13:24Sean Fennessey?

  Ted's lies are just kinda harmless.

• 1:13:27Bill Simmons?

  Does Ted have a, does Ted have a job?

• 1:13:29Chris Ryan?

  He's a magazine writer.

• 1:13:30Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:31Bill Simmons?

  Magazine writer?

• 1:13:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:33Chris Ryan?

  I'm curious what kind of pieces he writes. It's funny when Cameron Diaz is like, you could just work from anywhere.

• 1:13:38Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, searing explorations of fascism in The New Yorker.

• 1:13:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he's just like, God, I'm really obsessed with this girl.

• 1:13:44Bill Simmons?

  So what's the case for Ted being most deranged?

• 1:13:45Chris Ryan?

  Well, I mean, hanging on to that obsession for so long that you're still in therapy about it.

• 1:13:51Bill Simmons?

  You horrified her entire family in the course of 15 minutes.

• 1:13:54Chris Ryan?

  Like, it's not really, I understand why the severity of your injury made you go retreat within yourself, but like, you have plenty of opportunities probably to reach out. You stalk her, you use a private investigator to go after her. That private investigator winds up lying to you about his results, but then you still pursue her all the way down I-95. Nearly get arrested for murder and yeah, obviously learned some lessons, but I think that there's something about the lengths of what he goes to that suggests he might be like the craziest one of the three.

• 1:14:28Bill Simmons?

  Solid take. What do you got?

• 1:14:30Sean Fennessey?

  Ben Stiller is the greatest cuck actor of all time.

• 1:14:33Bill Simmons?

  Wow, who was his competition?

• 1:14:34Sean Fennessey?

  If you need a cuck.

• 1:14:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:36Sean Fennessey?

  If you need a guy, if you need a bitch boy, right? If you need somebody who is like-

• 1:14:41Bill Simmons?

  He makes the most sense.

• 1:14:42Sean Fennessey?

  Not only does he make the most sense, but there actually is like not a second choice. There's not a comic actor who you could be like-

• 1:14:49Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna humiliate you.

• 1:14:50Sean Fennessey?

  The whole premise of the movie is this guy is a loser and will lose all the way until the end and then he'll get the girl. But that's the premise of like nine one hundred million dollar Ben Stiller movies.

• 1:15:01Bill Simmons?

  Really good.

• 1:15:04Bill Simmons?

  So mine is also a casting would if.

• 1:15:08Bill Simmons?

  The Farrelly brothers wanted to cast Drew Bledsoe as, as the Brett Favre character. And he passed because he had just had this mosh club incident.

• 1:15:19Bill Simmons?

  Which was a big deal.

• 1:15:20Chris Ryan?

  Who was, what, what was the concert?

• 1:15:22Bill Simmons?

  They were, I forget what, who that, who was playing, but it was-

• 1:15:24Chris Ryan?

  It wasn't Everclear, was it? I think it might have been.

• 1:15:27Bill Simmons?

  It might have been Everclear. It was, I think it was in Providence.

• 1:15:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Bill Simmons?

  Or maybe it was in Ba- I don't remember what city it was in, but-

• 1:15:33Chris Ryan?

  It was Everclear.

• 1:15:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The Pats-

• 1:15:35Chris Ryan?

  That's knowledge right there.

• 1:15:36Bill Simmons?

  Him and a couple of offensive linemen and it was just bad and it became a huge deal and like the pay, this was, Pete Carroll was the coach. This, this, the inmates are running the asylum kind of stuff and um, right around then he got, and he was like, I better not do it. My hottest take is, I think this is the most underrated thing that ever happened to Patriot fans. Because if he takes this movie and it makes three hundred and eighty million dollars and he becomes a little bit cooler, that confidence then goes on the field. And I don't know if Tom Brady ever happens.

• 1:16:09Chris Ryan?

  Do you think that this, does he still do the Everclear concert in this version of events?

• 1:16:13Bill Simmons?

  He'd already done it. That's why, yeah, that, he just said yes anyway.

• 1:16:15Chris Ryan?

  So you think he does this movie, redeems himself somehow, becomes a huge movie star?

• 1:16:18Bill Simmons?

  Redeems himself, becomes, he's, goes Jerry Maguire in this, he's got his mojo back. Tom Brady's right there. He's like, you know what? I was in there, Something About Mary made three hundred fifty million dollars. I'm not, you're, I'm not afraid of you.

• 1:16:33Chris Ryan?

  He starts dating Cameron Diaz.

• 1:16:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, maybe he doesn't run out of bounds. He just runs out of bounds instead of taking the hit from Mo Lewis because he's not like insecure. He's just out.

• 1:16:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and this version of events, it's like Cameron Diaz dates Drew Bledsoe and then Neil deGrasse Tyson and then like-

• 1:16:48Bill Simmons?

  Right. And then we don't get six Super Bowls.

• 1:16:52Sean Fennessey?

  But have you considered that that level of confidence in Drew Bledsoe could have led to Super Bowls from Drew Bledsoe?

• 1:16:59Bill Simmons?

  Very possible. I'm just saying it's an alternate universe for the Pats fans.

• 1:17:03Sean Fennessey?

  Would you rather have Tom knowing what we know now about Tom?

• 1:17:07Bill Simmons?

  I'd rather have the six Super Bowls, and I'm fine with Brett Favre being in the movie.

• 1:17:10Sean Fennessey?

  What about six Super Bowls from Drew and then not Tom, you know, not choosing a rooting interest in the Super Bowl, you know, some of the Deflategate stuff?

• 1:17:19Bill Simmons?

  I don't think he could have won the six.

• 1:17:21Sean Fennessey?

  Bringing in his health consultant.

• 1:17:23Bill Simmons?

  Maybe one Alex Guerra.

• 1:17:24Sean Fennessey?

  Getting cucked by Gisele Bundchen, like all these things that happened, you know?

• 1:17:29Chris Ryan?

  He gets cucked by Gisele Bundchen, they crew apart.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  That video where he kisses his kids on the lips, that was a tough one.

• 1:17:33Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, kiss his on the lips on video.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  You don't get that then.

• 1:17:37Sean Fennessey?

  What else happened to Tom Brady, some other stuff?

• 1:17:39Bill Simmons?

  I'm sorry I brought this up.

• 1:17:41Chris Ryan?

  You're maybe not the warmest room to do it in, yeah.

• 1:17:44Bill Simmons?

  Casting what ifs, Owen Wilson and Jon Stewart were the other two candidates for Ted? Bill Murray was considered for Pat Haley, but the Fairley's thought he was too old. Vince Vaughn, Cuba Gooding Jr. also considered for Pat Haley. I think Vince Vaughn could have done this.

• 1:17:57Chris Ryan?

  I think he could have, but I think.

• 1:17:58Bill Simmons?

  I'm glad we ended up with Matt Dillon.

• 1:18:00Chris Ryan?

  There's an element of Vince Vaughn that I think also would have been like a little mug into the camera, like.

• 1:18:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:04Sean Fennessey?

  Is he, is he too tall? He was gonna be Ted, Vince Vaughn?

• 1:18:08Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:18:09Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, for Pat, he could have done Pat.

• 1:18:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think he could have done Pat. And then they also offered the Mary part, the Brett Favre part to Steve Young, but he turned it down due to the film's coarse nature.

• 1:18:20Chris Ryan?

  Because he said the Mormons would all come out and see it, and that they would reject him.

• 1:18:24Sean Fennessey?

  Where do you stand on Steve Young?

• 1:18:26Chris Ryan?

  Uh, always admired that he knew when to hang him up.

• 1:18:30Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:33Bill Simmons?

  The weirdest what if, which I did not know.

• 1:18:37Bill Simmons?

  I did not know this one. Chris Farley turned down Warren.

• 1:18:41Chris Ryan?

  This would have been a real big problem.

• 1:18:44Bill Simmons?

  They couldn't have ensured him anyway. He did dirty work, and then he died as they were making the movie, so.

• 1:18:51Bill Simmons?

  Probably a good miss by all parties, but.

• 1:18:54Chris Ryan?

  I think that that would have been really distracting.

• 1:18:57Bill Simmons?

  I think that ruins the movie.

• 1:18:59Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:00Speaker 03

  I think it would have been seen as more, it would have aged worse.

• 1:19:02Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:19:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Bill Simmons?

  Best that guy award, not eligible. Lenny Clark and Steve Sweeney, Richard Tyson, Harlan Williams. Cause I'm making them not eligible.

• 1:19:12Sean Fennessey?

  Richard Tyson is not eligible?

• 1:19:14Bill Simmons?

  We just covered him two weeks ago. He was crisp. People know Richard Tyson is now.

• 1:19:18Chris Ryan?

  Right?

• 1:19:19Speaker 03

  Do I think people know his name is Richard Tyson?

• 1:19:21Bill Simmons?

  No, they probably don't. Fine, he's eligible.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 1:19:25Bill Simmons?

  Did you know who played Magda?

• 1:19:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Lynn Shay.

• 1:19:27Sean Fennessey?

  Sure, Lynn Shay.

• 1:19:28Bill Simmons?

  Lynn Shay.

• 1:19:28Sean Fennessey?

  Bob Shay's sister, yeah.

• 1:19:30Bill Simmons?

  Uh, we also have Sanford from Sex and the City, AKA Willie Garson.

• 1:19:33Sean Fennessey?

  That's right.

• 1:19:34Bill Simmons?

  Wearing the long wig with like big zits on him.

• 1:19:35Chris Ryan?

  That's who I had.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  That's a good one.

• 1:19:37Sean Fennessey?

  I've got him on the list.

• 1:19:38Bill Simmons?

  I think the winner is W. Earl Brown as Warren.

• 1:19:41Sean Fennessey?

  He's up there. Deadwood fans rejoice.

• 1:19:43Chris Ryan?

  The Master?

• 1:19:43Bill Simmons?

  He was Kenny the cameraman in Scream.

• 1:19:45Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:46Bill Simmons?

  He was in Deadwood, he was in The Master, and he apparently had three years in NYPD Blue.

• 1:19:50Chris Ryan?

  Joaquin's the, Joaquin and him getting in the fight in The Master, right?

• 1:19:53Sean Fennessey?

  That's right. Um, real ones would go, I think, Rob Moran, who is in Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There's Something About Mary. He's the bartender in Dumb and Dumber.

• 1:20:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:02Sean Fennessey?

  He's one of the bad guys, Stanley Osmansky in Kingpin.

• 1:20:06Chris Ryan?

  Hmm.

• 1:20:06Sean Fennessey?

  And he's clearly a Farrelly Brothers extended player. He's in The Troop, and he pops up in a bunch of their movies. He's in Shawl Al, I mean, myself and Irene. He's the other cop. He's

• 1:20:15Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that guy.

• 1:20:16Sean Fennessey?

  He's Tyson's partner.

• 1:20:17Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's a good that guy.

• 1:20:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:18Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:20:19Bill Simmons?

  Dion Waiters. Our nominees include Avery Brooks, Richard Jenkins, Jeffrey Tambor, Magda, Harlan Williams, Chris Elliott, Brett Favre, Mongo. We don't see Mongo, but I think he's in here anyway.

• 1:20:32Sean Fennessey?

  Sure.

• 1:20:32Bill Simmons?

  And then Jonathan Richman. What do you got, CR?

• 1:20:37Chris Ryan?

  I think it's Jenkins.

• 1:20:39Sean Fennessey?

  I don't, did you say Keith David?

• 1:20:42Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I didn't. I don't know why he's

• 1:20:43Sean Fennessey?

  I mean, Keith David is a nobody.

• 1:20:43Bill Simmons?

  I said Avery Brooks, and I meant Keith. I just got Avery Brooks and Keith David confused.

• 1:20:47Chris Ryan?

  That's why I was like, who the fuck is Avery Brooks?

• 1:20:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. Keith David.

• 1:20:51Sean Fennessey?

  Keith David.

• 1:20:52Bill Simmons?

  We did a whole segment before about how those guys, you could have swapped them in different roles.

• 1:20:56Chris Ryan?

  I think there will be a contingent of listeners who think it's Harlan Williams.

• 1:21:01Bill Simmons?

  I would go for, uh

• 1:21:03Chris Ryan?

  They're the same people who don't think Richard Tyson is a that guy, you know?

• 1:21:07Bill Simmons?

  I think my answer, Harlan Williams is pretty good.

• 1:21:11Sean Fennessey?

  You know that old children's tale from the sea?

• 1:21:16Bill Simmons?

  What do you, who'd you pick?

• 1:21:18Chris Ryan?

  Keith David.

• 1:21:18Sean Fennessey?

  Keith David.

• 1:21:21Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Keith David.

• 1:21:22Chris Ryan?

  Okay. I'll not vote.

• 1:21:23Bill Simmons?

  Even though I just called him Avery Brooks. Recasting couch director city.

• 1:21:29Bill Simmons?

  Can I test drive Norm MacDonald as Tucker? For you guys?

• 1:21:33Sean Fennessey?

  Oh.

• 1:21:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:34Sean Fennessey?

  Doing the British accent?

• 1:21:36Bill Simmons?

  Maybe we get rid of the British accent for Norm, but he's just doing Tucker pretending he hurt his back, but now he's delivering pizzas.

• 1:21:42Sean Fennessey?

  What if Norm is Pat?

• 1:21:44Bill Simmons?

  Norm is Pat could have worked too. I just feel like Norm MacDonald could have been in this movie. Could he have been the Richard Tyson?

• 1:21:49Chris Ryan?

  Could he have been Woge?

• 1:21:51Bill Simmons?

  He's, could have been Woge. Like, I just feel like we needed him in this somewhere.

• 1:21:54Sean Fennessey?

  He was busy making dirty work.

• 1:21:55Bill Simmons?

  I get it.

• 1:21:56Sean Fennessey?

  I, I mean, Nor- Norm fits in perfectly with this movie.

• 1:21:59Bill Simmons?

  If Norm is Tucker in this movie, I think is better.

• 1:22:02Sean Fennessey?

  Can, can I make a suggestion in this category? I, I want to recast the genre. Cause I think you can remake the movie exactly the same, but as a lurid thriller.

• 1:22:10Chris Ryan?

  Oh my God, it would be such a great From Hell.

• 1:22:13Bill Simmons?

  A From Hell movie.

• 1:22:13Sean Fennessey?

  Yes, but it's like, it's like five stalkers from hell that are all going after Mary.

• 1:22:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and she keeps like opening up her heart and getting it like, and then finding out the guy is a complete lie.

• 1:22:23Sean Fennessey?

  Exactly.

• 1:22:23Bill Simmons?

  I feel like Black Stars might be making this right now.

• 1:22:26Sean Fennessey?

  It's like Power, season seven.

• 1:22:28Bill Simmons?

  Or MGM.

• 1:22:30Chris Ryan?

  MGM Plus, you mean?

• 1:22:31Bill Simmons?

  MGM Plus.

• 1:22:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  I mean, the Chris Elliott turn is legitimately chilling in this movie.

• 1:22:37Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, it's like Pacific Heights or something.

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  There's two minutes where it's very kind of scary.

• 1:22:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Well, when he's got like, his face is full of boils.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  He's like twitching, he's got the eye boil.

• 1:22:45Chris Ryan?

  He's got her shoes.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, the shoe thing really deflates it. They very smartly pivoted to having it not, cause you obviously think it's gonna be like him doing something physical to her and he's just smelling her shoes.

• 1:22:53Sean Fennessey?

  He stole all my shoes.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:55Bill Simmons?

  Craig, you have a flex category.

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  I'm gonna wear, put on my van hat and I'm gonna do a li- a top five list. Top five most shocking and hilarious male nudity in a major comedy.

• 1:23:07Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  The zipper scene in There's Something About Mary.

• 1:23:09Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:10Speaker 03

  The ball sack on the drum set in Step Brothers.

• 1:23:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  Jason Segel, full nude, surprise and forgetting Sarah Marshall.

• 1:23:16Chris Ryan?

  Yep.

• 1:23:17Speaker 03

  The Borat naked hotel fight.

• 1:23:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:20Speaker 03

  And Ken Jeong naked crowbar scene in The Hangover.

• 1:23:23Sean Fennessey?

  So those are all comedies?

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the category.

• 1:23:26Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, it's just comedies?

• 1:23:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:23:27Chris Ryan?

  Funniest nude.

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  Most shocking and hilarious male nudity.

• 1:23:31Chris Ryan?

  Badly Ted is funnier?

• 1:23:32Sean Fennessey?

  Well, To Live and Die in L.A. when Peterson is just like letting it go, I laughed.

• 1:23:36Speaker 03

  The other contenders, M.C. Ganey in Sideways?

• 1:23:40Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 1:23:41Bill Simmons?

  That's a really good one. Yeah, we could see him running.

• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  And then the giant devil penis in This Is the End.

• 1:23:46Bill Simmons?

  Was this a Reddit search for you or no?

• 1:23:49Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, how did you Google it?

• 1:23:50Speaker 03

  I delicately investigated. Yeah.

• 1:23:53Sean Fennessey?

  Hey, Claude?

• 1:23:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. You'd be surprised. There are Reddit threads about this.

• 1:23:56Chris Ryan?

  This is the first time you talked to Claude. Just like, hey.

• 1:23:59Bill Simmons?

  Was the search?

• 1:24:00Chris Ryan?

  Been curious about AI.

• 1:24:01Bill Simmons?

  Comedies, male nude scene penis?

• 1:24:05Speaker 03

  I really made the, I made sure that Google knew, like humorous male nudity scenes that are jokes. Funny male nudity scenes.

• 1:24:12Sean Fennessey?

  Let's get your search history up on the screen right now. Can we get that?

• 1:24:16Speaker 03

  I got nothing to hide. I stand by this top five.

• 1:24:18Chris Ryan?

  It's just Mackay Lemon tape.

• 1:24:20Bill Simmons?

  Can I give you the answer?

• 1:24:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:24:21Bill Simmons?

  First of all, great category.

• 1:24:22Speaker 03

  It's not on this list, the answer?

• 1:24:24Bill Simmons?

  No, the answer is Borat. That's the fucking funniest.

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  Hotel fight?

• 1:24:28Bill Simmons?

  Borat ever with the fucking Azamat.

• 1:24:33Bill Simmons?

  Like, that's it. That's the peak of everything.

• 1:24:36Sean Fennessey?

  Another movie that had the same kind of energy.

• 1:24:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Borat in the theater is the same thing.

• 1:24:41Bill Simmons?

  Half-assed internet research.

• 1:24:44Bill Simmons?

  The scene when Ted gets his skirt stuck in his pants was inspired by a real incident. Farrelly Brothers, their sister was listening to records and one of the kids went to the bathroom. Friends with their sister had that happen. Not the same thing, but some of it. When Ted falls off the stretcher, not scripted, they kept it in. It was a mistake, Ben Stiller fell off. The waterfront.

• 1:25:04Chris Ryan?

  You see him grab his arm, kind of like realistically.

• 1:25:07Bill Simmons?

  The waterfront house where Mary lived in Miami was destroyed in 2008 by a construction accident. It's gone. High school scene in the beginning was shot at Plantations City Hall in Florida. They saw a rough cut, they thought it was too raunchy and they requested to not be acknowledged in the credits. When you offend Florida, you've really pulled something off. And then we mentioned the Tambor scene and then um and then the Diaz worried that the gel scene was gonna gross people out, so they shot two versions.

• 1:25:38Chris Ryan?

  There's also like a, like a pretty pointless, but like, I guess, you know, it's like if you're curious, there's one of the extended cut scenes is about like Ted's family. It's like, oh Ted's brother and like donating kidneys to the brother. There's like, they build it up a little bit more about what he's been doing in between.

• 1:25:56Bill Simmons?

  Apex Mountain, still or no? We're not there yet.

• 1:25:59Sean Fennessey?

  Okay, I don't have a star.

• 1:26:01Bill Simmons?

  Diaz, I think yes. I think she comes out of this.

• 1:26:05Chris Ryan?

  Is this her biggest movie?

• 1:26:07Bill Simmons?

  Cause it's my best friend's wedding the year before, then this, and I feel like she is the juice. Now that leads to Charlie's Angels. She gets 20 million for Charlie's Angels 2, I think.

• 1:26:16Sean Fennessey?

  Are you sure it's not Charlie's Angels?

• 1:26:18Bill Simmons?

  Might be, but I feel like she was the, she kind of takes Julia Roberts' ironically, like probably her title here. Right? I think she could have done whatever she wanted after this movie.

• 1:26:31Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:32Bill Simmons?

  She's like two rom-coms late. When I was looking at the IMDb, cause she eventually does in the holiday, Sweetest Thing isn't really a rom-com, but.

• 1:26:40Chris Ryan?

  You don't think so?

• 1:26:41Sean Fennessey?

  She, she was.

• 1:26:42Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's a comedy.

• 1:26:44Sean Fennessey?

  She just made more sex comedies than rom-coms. She was not really a, she's in the holiday, but she was not really a rom-com person.

• 1:26:50Bill Simmons?

  She didn't make like a wow you were sleeping or, but she really took some chances.

• 1:26:55Sean Fennessey?

  You know, she did some movies like that.

• 1:26:57Bill Simmons?

  She did the Gangs of New York. Matt Dillon, no.

• 1:27:02Sean Fennessey?

  What's Matt Dillon's Apex Mountain?

• 1:27:03Bill Simmons?

  I think it's in the 80s.

• 1:27:06Chris Ryan?

  Do you think it's Outsiders?

• 1:27:07Bill Simmons?

  I think it.

• 1:27:08Chris Ryan?

  Or Rumblefish or whatever?

• 1:27:09Bill Simmons?

  He felt like he was the biggest teen actor in the world in the 83, 84 range for a couple of years then.

• 1:27:17Bill Simmons?

  The Farrelly Brothers, yes.

• 1:27:19Sean Fennessey?

  So.

• 1:27:20Bill Simmons?

  This leads to me, myself and Irene a year later, which is a bonkers movie, a year and a half.

• 1:27:25Sean Fennessey?

  I wrote down the Farrellys, and I think it's probably the answer, but, you know, Peter Farrelly won Best Picture.

• 1:27:34Sean Fennessey?

  Like, whatever, 20 years later.

• 1:27:36Bill Simmons?

  So would you say this was Bobby Farrelly's apex mountain, but Peter Farrelly was winning for Green Book?

• 1:27:41Chris Ryan?

  I think it's, I think it's theirs just because.

• 1:27:45Bill Simmons?

  As a combo, this is it.

• 1:27:46Chris Ryan?

  I think Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly would probably go out and like, they, they could do a screening for this movie tomorrow and it would be full and they would be like, arts, I don't know that, that Green Book has that, that legacy.

• 1:27:55Bill Simmons?

  You can't have a comedy do better than this, I don't think. Like, this movie was an absolute comedy phenomenon that made a ton of money and created, either created stars or made stars bigger.

• 1:28:06Chris Ryan?

  It's also just so striking, cause like, we just did Ghostbusters and to watch a movie where it's like, Ghostbusters still at the last 20 minutes is like, kind of a sci-fi.

• 1:28:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:15Chris Ryan?

  Movie, like, a lot of the jokes in Ghostbusters are said to the side of like, the plot. This movie is like, every scene is a gag. Every scene builds up to a big, big punchline.

• 1:28:27Sean Fennessey?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:28:28Bill Simmons?

  The Providence Bruins? No. Chris Elliott?

• 1:28:32Chris Ryan?

  When was the Providence Bruins apex mountain?

• 1:28:34Bill Simmons?

  Huge poster in the Ben, one bedroom scene with Ben Stiller.

• 1:28:37Chris Ryan?

  But I'm saying, was there another apex mountain?

• 1:28:39Bill Simmons?

  They won a couple AHL titles.

• 1:28:40Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:28:42Sean Fennessey?

  Okay.

• 1:28:43Bill Simmons?

  Chris Elliott?

• 1:28:46Chris Ryan?

  Letterman?

• 1:28:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it's.

• 1:28:47Chris Ryan?

  Letterman?

• 1:28:48Sean Fennessey?

  Apex, it's probably this. I mean, maybe that first episode of Get a Life where I was like, it's, it's happening. Like, it's like, the premiere episode, and it's like, it's on Fox, was it Sunday night, like, against, like, after The Simpsons, right? Like, that was, right, Herman's Head Hours.

• 1:29:03Chris Ryan?

  I was more of a Herman's Head guy.

• 1:29:05Bill Simmons?

  Would you go funny come scenes or something else here?

• 1:29:07Chris Ryan?

  I mean, Buffalo, uh, Migs is pretty high up there for funny come scenes, but it's unintentional comedy. Uh, this is the most.

• 1:29:15Bill Simmons?

  Intentional come scene funny.

• 1:29:17Sean Fennessey?

  What are some other come scenes?

• 1:29:19Chris Ryan?

  Craig, wanna Google that for us?

• 1:29:21Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, I'll pull that up.

• 1:29:23Bill Simmons?

  Funniest cum scenes. Hold on, guys. Uh, Franks and Beans?

• 1:29:28Sean Fennessey?

  Apex Mountain for?

• 1:29:29Chris Ryan?

  The terminology?

• 1:29:30Sean Fennessey?

  The phrase, or?

• 1:29:31Bill Simmons?

  Franks and Beans.

• 1:29:32Chris Ryan?

  I think it's the funniest penis injury I've ever seen on.

• 1:29:34Bill Simmons?

  I will say this. Franks and Beans has been a running joke in my house ever since about actual Franks and Beans and like, uh, you know, changing.

• 1:29:44Sean Fennessey?

  You could, this could go anywhere. Like, I don't know where you're gonna take this.

• 1:29:47Bill Simmons?

  Changing our son's diaper.

• 1:29:49Sean Fennessey?

  Okay.

• 1:29:49Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:29:49Bill Simmons?

  Like, make sure you get under the Franks and Beans, like that. It's just been in the LexCon, in the Simmons house. Sorry, Ben. Miami comedies? I'm gonna say yes.

• 1:30:00Chris Ryan?

  Uh, yeah, okay.

• 1:30:02Sean Fennessey?

  Miami Vice is hilarious to me.

• 1:30:04Bill Simmons?

  Miami movies? Gets a little more interesting.

• 1:30:08Chris Ryan?

  I think it's Miami Vice.

• 1:30:10Bill Simmons?

  I think so as well.

• 1:30:11Chris Ryan?

  Are you excited?

• 1:30:11Sean Fennessey?

  It's Scarface. What are we talking about?

• 1:30:13Chris Ryan?

  From Miami Vice 85?

• 1:30:14Bill Simmons?

  Not ready to talk about it.

• 1:30:15Chris Ryan?

  Okay. Did you want, you wanna do like a separate little segment at the end of this?

• 1:30:19Bill Simmons?

  Did you hear Sean's idea? Flipping him?

• 1:30:21Chris Ryan?

  Flipping him. Oh, making, oh, making.

• 1:30:24Sean Fennessey?

  MBJ is Crockett.

• 1:30:26Bill Simmons?

  MBJ is Crockett in Austin Butler's tubs. That got me excited.

• 1:30:30Sean Fennessey?

  Right? Isn't that the move?

• 1:30:31Chris Ryan?

  That is the move.

• 1:30:32Bill Simmons?

  I don't think Austin Butler can be Sonny Crockett.

• 1:30:35Sean Fennessey?

  But MBJ can be Sonny Crockett.

• 1:30:36Bill Simmons?

  Have we ever seen him smoke a cigarette?

• 1:30:39Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I feel like he smoked cigarettes and caught stealing, right?

• 1:30:42Sean Fennessey?

  He does.

• 1:30:42Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna have to research it.

• 1:30:43Speaker 03

  Is that not what they're doing? It's not MBJ as Sonny?

• 1:30:45Sean Fennessey?

  I don't know.

• 1:30:46Speaker 03

  I feel like it would have to be.

• 1:30:47Chris Ryan?

  Uh, that would be weird for Michael B. Jordan to be like, I'm happy to play second.

• 1:30:52Sean Fennessey?

  Agreed.

• 1:30:53Chris Ryan?

  Fiddle to Austin Butler. I just won an Oscar.

• 1:30:56Bill Simmons?

  Jamie did it?

• 1:30:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:59Sean Fennessey?

  And he was bigger. At the time, and had come up, was coming off an Oscar win.

• 1:31:02Bill Simmons?

  Crazy suntans?

• 1:31:04Sean Fennessey?

  It's actually the same thing. It was coming off the Ray win.

• 1:31:07Bill Simmons?

  Crazy brown suntans? I think yes. Jonathan Richmond definitely is. Cruise or Hanks?

• 1:31:13Chris Ryan?

  I had Cruise.

• 1:31:15Bill Simmons?

  Cruise as, as Ted or somebody else?

• 1:31:17Chris Ryan?

  I would like to see Cruise with the chompers as Healy.

• 1:31:20Sean Fennessey?

  See, I think actually 80's Hanks could do Pat Healy.

• 1:31:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting. I had Hanks either as, as Ted or Pat Healy. Hanks could have done either part.

• 1:31:29Chris Ryan?

  Cruise could have done the, uh, the hitchhiker.

• 1:31:35Chris Ryan?

  Seven Minute Abs.

• 1:31:38Bill Simmons?

  I think Hanks is the answer. Scorsese or Spielberg? Tough one for these guys.

• 1:31:42Chris Ryan?

  I think it's Marty and it's Cape Fear. It's basically, it's just a thriller.

• 1:31:46Sean Fennessey?

  That's good.

• 1:31:47Bill Simmons?

  The Catherine Tramell, would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away award?

• 1:31:51Chris Ryan?

  Is that for Mary?

• 1:31:52Sean Fennessey?

  Who's the stay away?

• 1:31:53Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Mary, just because she has all these psychos after her.

• 1:31:56Sean Fennessey?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:31:57Chris Ryan?

  Oh, once you find out her dating history and it's like, you've dated NFL quarterback and three guys who've broken-

• 1:32:04Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, she's a maniac tractor.

• 1:32:05Speaker 03

  You're looking over your shoulder the entire time. You'd get murdered by some stalker.

• 1:32:08Bill Simmons?

  I would still throw it away. Picky Knits. Why does, Mary's an orthopedic surgeon, but lives in this weird complex where she shares a balcony with Magda? What's going on here?

• 1:32:20Chris Ryan?

  I, I, I feel like this is like basically right out of like 90's sitcoms where it's like, yeah, they all live together. It's like, why, why would they all live together?

• 1:32:27Sean Fennessey?

  Why would you live with Magda?

• 1:32:28Bill Simmons?

  Wouldn't she be in like a, on the 34th floor of some high rise in South Beach?

• 1:32:32Chris Ryan?

  Is it supposed to be that she's Magda's next door neighbor and is like, kind of shares a balcony with her? Or does she live with Magda?

• 1:32:38Bill Simmons?

  No, she, she lives next door.

• 1:32:39Speaker 03

  She explains it, right? Magda's husband dies and was lonely and Cameron Diaz is like the most altruistic human that's ever lived. And so it's doing her a favor by keeping her company.

• 1:32:48Chris Ryan?

  And then Magda starts nailing the homeless dock worker.

• 1:32:52Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of Mary, does, does she have patients? Is she working? What's going on here?

• 1:32:58Chris Ryan?

  She seems to like-

• 1:32:59Sean Fennessey?

  She sees Tucker in her office.

• 1:33:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but that's the, otherwise it's like during the day, she's like driving around going to-

• 1:33:05Bill Simmons?

  No surgeries?

• 1:33:06Chris Ryan?

  Play golf and buy like checkers for-

• 1:33:08Bill Simmons?

  She's working at the, at the camp?

• 1:33:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:11Bill Simmons?

  She's checking out her golf swing?

• 1:33:12Sean Fennessey?

  You wanted more scenes of her examining patients.

• 1:33:14Chris Ryan?

  Well, that might explain why she's living in a small apartment.

• 1:33:17Sean Fennessey?

  Not getting a lot of business.

• 1:33:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:18Bill Simmons?

  Would have liked to have seen her at least like move somebody's knee around and been like, how's your ACL feel? Better?

• 1:33:24Sean Fennessey?

  That's is that what happens?

• 1:33:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:27Sean Fennessey?

  Okay.

• 1:33:27Bill Simmons?

  Does that feel better? Wouldn't Ted have known that he went to the same high school as Woogie?

• 1:33:32Chris Ryan?

  Woogie went to what, four towns over?

• 1:33:34Sean Fennessey?

  He went to Borington Falls or whatever.

• 1:33:36Bill Simmons?

  But she knew Mary's, okay, same sit, same town at least.

• 1:33:40Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:41Bill Simmons?

  Or same neighboring town.

• 1:33:42Chris Ryan?

  He says four towns over it. We heard about it, four towns over.

• 1:33:44Bill Simmons?

  But he knows who Woogie is.

• 1:33:45Sean Fennessey?

  Yep.

• 1:33:47Bill Simmons?

  He knows this guy's name is Don Wuganowski. Never put the two and two together. I guess Ted's not a rocket scientist.

• 1:33:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he's just a magazine writer.

• 1:33:55Bill Simmons?

  I have one more big one, but do you have any?

• 1:33:56Chris Ryan?

  I don't really know what Dom's plan here was. Dom gets the ball rolling downhill.

• 1:34:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, why is he helping Ted but trying to sabotage him?

• 1:34:03Sean Fennessey?

  He's a, he's a maniac.

• 1:34:05Chris Ryan?

  But he wants Healy to find Mary. And then he's gonna go, but like when he's home watching cops, was he like, I might go? Down there anyway, or is he only go down there once Ted gets arrested?

• 1:34:17Sean Fennessey?

  Well, he's relieved earlier in the film when he hears that Mary is overweight. And he is only interested really in coming down when he finds out it's a ruse, right?

• 1:34:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:26Sean Fennessey?

  So then when he learns that Mary still looks good.

• 1:34:28Bill Simmons?

  Breaking out. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:32Bill Simmons?

  How would Ted ever get a hold of Brett Favre the week of the Dolphins game?

• 1:34:36Sean Fennessey?

  Incredible question.

• 1:34:38Bill Simmons?

  Brett Favre's like, 30 million people are watching NFL games.

• 1:34:41Chris Ryan?

  I don't know, like back in 98, did those guys have to go through like massive film sessions? Wasn't it just kind of go out there and throw some frozen ropes?

• 1:34:47Sean Fennessey?

  Out of all 30 starting quarterbacks in the NFL, who's the one you think you get closest to getting in touch with right now?

• 1:34:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh, this is a fucking awesome question.

• 1:34:55Bill Simmons?

  Not Jalen Hurts, I'll tell you that much.

• 1:34:56Sean Fennessey?

  That's for darn sure.

• 1:34:59Chris Ryan?

  I would have said Donald.

• 1:35:00Bill Simmons?

  He's barely awake.

• 1:35:01Chris Ryan?

  Before the Super Bowl. Why not?

• 1:35:05Sean Fennessey?

  Cause, cause he seems like a regular guy?

• 1:35:06Chris Ryan?

  He seems like the kind of guy who'd be like, I also like prestige television and I'll really watch. And D, maybe DM once.

• 1:35:12Bill Simmons?

  I think, I think the answer is Drake May because you go through his wife.

• 1:35:16Chris Ryan?

  I mean, wouldn't I just go through you?

• 1:35:17Bill Simmons?

  No, you go through Drake May, his wife, and she's on social media all the time and.

• 1:35:22Chris Ryan?

  And you'd be like, I want to hang out with your husband.

• 1:35:24Bill Simmons?

  Chris Ryan of The Watch.

• 1:35:26Chris Ryan?

  You see that?

• 1:35:29Sean Fennessey?

  Is that how you introduce yourself to new people?

• 1:35:30Bill Simmons?

  Chris Ryder of The Watch?

• 1:35:31Sean Fennessey?

  No.

• 1:35:33Sean Fennessey?

  No, who's like the least successful active quarterback?

• 1:35:36Chris Ryan?

  I bet Bryce Young.

• 1:35:37Sean Fennessey?

  Bryce Young?

• 1:35:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:38Sean Fennessey?

  Number one overall pick?

• 1:35:39Chris Ryan?

  Oh, this is stupid. Baker. Baker would definitely do it.

• 1:35:42Sean Fennessey?

  Baker.

• 1:35:43Bill Simmons?

  Isn't the answer Tyler Shuck? It's like 25, happy to be here.

• 1:35:46Chris Ryan?

  No, but Baker actually would do bits and Baker would be like, yeah, man, I'll come hang out on like a Thursday.

• 1:35:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:51Chris Ryan?

  I feel like Baker's like, does like three pods a week.

• 1:35:54Bill Simmons?

  Any other pick and nits?

• 1:35:56Sean Fennessey?

  I, to me, the biggest one is, like, I get Pat's move here. I, I, okay, let me go back. Is Pat's move

• 1:36:05Sean Fennessey?

  to have sex with Mary, or is it to be in love forever with Mary?

• 1:36:09Bill Simmons?

  I think he wants to marry Mary. Yeah, he loves her.

• 1:36:11Sean Fennessey?

  Okay, so that plan is gonna fall apart at a certain point, right?

• 1:36:13Bill Simmons?

  And he's probably gotta uncap his teeth.

• 1:36:15Sean Fennessey?

  Right. And then you already pointed out Tucker Norm's long game is just baffling.

• 1:36:21Chris Ryan?

  Yes. But speaks to Mary's flawed orthopedic surgery career.

• 1:36:25Sean Fennessey?

  Right.

• 1:36:26Bill Simmons?

  Sequel, prequel, prestige, should be All Black Cast or Untouchable. I think it's Untouchable. Is this movie better with?

• 1:36:31Sean Fennessey?

  You sure you don't wanna do All Black Cast?

• 1:36:35Bill Simmons?

  I think it's in Untouchable. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Ryan Ruko, or somebody else?

• 1:36:43Chris Ryan?

  I definitely think that there, there was some space here for Fergie because of, because of the New England thing. And it's just like Fergie being like, you're gonna do this for me. You're gonna go down to Miami and find this Mary. Or I'm gonna clip ya.

• 1:37:02Sean Fennessey?

  Fergie playing Ted?

• 1:37:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:07Chris Ryan?

  Fergie is, Fergie is, I don't think I could handle Fergie as woggy.

• 1:37:16Chris Ryan?

  Fergie the Florist watching Cops is not okay.

• 1:37:19Bill Simmons?

  You don't wanna do Robert Evans exploring Mary?

• 1:37:23Chris Ryan?

  When did Robert Evans come back into it?

• 1:37:25Bill Simmons?

  Robert Evans is back.

• 1:37:26Chris Ryan?

  Get hit me.

• 1:37:27Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you wanna do it.

• 1:37:29Chris Ryan?

  Robert Evans or Robert Loggia?

• 1:37:31Bill Simmons?

  Robert Evans.

• 1:37:32Sean Fennessey?

  Was Robert Evans ever in the mix here?

• 1:37:34Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I just thought we'd throw him in. Mary had the kinda legs that could stop a room.

• 1:37:40Chris Ryan?

  She had Nelly Korda's golf swing.

• 1:37:44Bill Simmons?

  She loved meat on a stick. And she could hit a three iron 190 yards.

• 1:37:53Sean Fennessey?

  Where did?

• 1:37:56Bill Simmons?

  I introduced it as Steve McQueen and I never saw either of them again.

• 1:38:00Chris Ryan?

  I introduced it to Brett Favre. She was living in Green Bay this time next year.

• 1:38:05Bill Simmons?

  Brett Favre never won another game that year.

• 1:38:10Bill Simmons?

  Just want to ask her, who gets it? You'd go Dylan?

• 1:38:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:13Sean Fennessey?

  I'm going the prop master.

• 1:38:15Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I'll go the script.

• 1:38:16Sean Fennessey?

  We got Puffy, we got, we got Loeb come, you know?

• 1:38:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Probably an answerable questions. What replaced rest areas as the bathhouses of the 90s for the next three decades?

• 1:38:29Chris Ryan?

  That's a great question, Bill.

• 1:38:30Bill Simmons?

  What were the zero zeros?

• 1:38:33Chris Ryan?

  I don't know how to answer that. I'm not sure I know.

• 1:38:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't, I don't really know either.

• 1:38:37Chris Ryan?

  My question was-

• 1:38:39Bill Simmons?

  I think Tinder hopped in there.

• 1:38:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think on, online, like swipe left, swipe right.

• 1:38:43Bill Simmons?

  Or, yeah, one of those swipe, yeah.

• 1:38:46Chris Ryan?

  What's the, what's the podcast equivalent of emptying the baby batter before the date? It's like, is that like when I do the watch before the rewatch?

• 1:38:54Sean Fennessey?

  Before we recorded, Bill was like, you guys fresh? You done any pods today? Don't want to be all used up, trying to squeeze a second one out.

• 1:39:03Bill Simmons?

  Well, I had Zach last night. We recorded most of the podcast, but then we did the top late night. And he's like groggy and half asleep and it's the best version of Zach.

• 1:39:13Chris Ryan?

  I think you guys were talking about IO and he's just like, I don't know what the fuck you do there.

• 1:39:19Bill Simmons?

  I love groggy Zach. Did Ted and Mary get married?

• 1:39:24Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I think they date for like six weeks and break up.

• 1:39:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, cuz he's, he can't carry this.

• 1:39:29Sean Fennessey?

  What do you mean?

• 1:39:30Bill Simmons?

  No, she's, she's like marrying Ronnie Cyclone.

• 1:39:33Chris Ryan?

  I also think she, he gets nuked by, we didn't talk about this, by Sarah Silverman and Candy Alexander. I don't think he lasts five seconds with them.

• 1:39:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh, true. We forgot to mention them. They had two very stereotypical 90s rom com comedy, girls hanging out scenes.

• 1:39:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Bill Simmons?

  This is my big one.

• 1:39:52Bill Simmons?

  How did this movie not have a sequel?

• 1:39:56Sean Fennessey?

  I assume they had a chance to do it.

• 1:39:59Chris Ryan?

  This is just good thinking. This is like, I like, let's not fuck with this. Like, a sequel, a bad sequel to this movie screws up the integrity of this movie.

• 1:40:09Bill Simmons?

  All right, you're saying that rationally.

• 1:40:13Bill Simmons?

  Like-

• 1:40:13Chris Ryan?

  I'm surprised too.

• 1:40:14Bill Simmons?

  Like, somebody, somebody that is treating the movie industry like something that's not gonna bastardize good IP the moment they feel like they sniff some dollar signs. It's crazy to me. Ben Stiller is a much bigger star. Cameron Diaz is a much bigger star for this movie. The Farrelly brothers probably needed some sort of comeback thingy in the, around 2005, 06 range. And they never thought about doing a sequel?

• 1:40:37Sean Fennessey?

  It's crazy. They did a sequel to Dumb and Dumber. They did the Three Stooges movie. They remade The Heartbreak Kid. So it's not like they were above this kind of thing.

• 1:40:45Bill Simmons?

  I just, it's the all-time layup. I can't believe they didn't do it.

• 1:40:48Chris Ryan?

  Do you think that there's anything-

• 1:40:49Sean Fennessey?

  Could happen still now.

• 1:40:50Chris Ryan?

  To the idea, so they basically, this movie comes out in 98. They essentially need to make this movie before 08 to get it under the social media wire? Because after that, it's just like, yeah, I know what Mary's doing. I, I watch, I look at her on Facebook.

• 1:41:04Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:41:04Chris Ryan?

  And so like, there's only like a small window to kind of pull off that premise.

• 1:41:08Sean Fennessey?

  Cameron Diaz is only 53. I mean, you could easily, we're getting a Spaceball sequel next year.

• 1:41:14Bill Simmons?

  Well, we're getting the Meet the Fockers grandkids movie, right?

• 1:41:16Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:18Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's, yeah, that's right.

• 1:41:19Sean Fennessey?

  Meet Focker-in-law.

• 1:41:21Bill Simmons?

  Focker-in-law. Uh, the secret handshake memorabilia you'd want from this movie. I have a great one for this, but you go.

• 1:41:26Chris Ryan?

  Uh, Mary's signature golf bag.

• 1:41:28Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:41:28Sean Fennessey?

  Warren's earmuffs.

• 1:41:30Bill Simmons?

  That's really good.

• 1:41:31Chris Ryan?

  The headphones, right? So- You have earmuffs too?

• 1:41:33Sean Fennessey?

  He wears the red earmuffs, yeah.

• 1:41:34Bill Simmons?

  This is what Peter said about the hair gel.

• 1:41:38Bill Simmons?

  Somebody hired a guy to make different loads. He showed up with a leather briefcase like a businessman that had 30 or 40 loads in it. We called Ben over and would hold one up at a time like an earring. People would say, no, too small, hmm, kind of lumpy. That's how we decided afterwards, we never saw the crew member again. He shed his briefcase and left. We were laughing like, who is that guy and how does he have that job? I'd want the briefcase.

• 1:42:04Chris Ryan?

  The briefcase full of loads.

• 1:42:05Sean Fennessey?

  You want the loads in the briefcase?

• 1:42:07Bill Simmons?

  I want the whole package. I want everything.

• 1:42:10Chris Ryan?

  They probably, like, calcified since 1998.

• 1:42:14Sean Fennessey?

  What's some everyday use for the loads for you? What do you-

• 1:42:16Bill Simmons?

  People come over like, hey, do you like something about Mary?

• 1:42:22Bill Simmons?

  Have you seen my load case?

• 1:42:25Bill Simmons?

  Floyd Gondalay butter my ass, lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy? A load case.

• 1:42:34Chris Ryan?

  I like a movie where everybody has a job, but nobody works. So like Cameron Diaz is an orthopedic surgeon, but spends the day hanging out at the driving range. Ben Stiller apparently has just umpteen amounts of of PTO to like stalk his ex-girlfriend.

• 1:42:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:52Chris Ryan?

  I don't want to spend a lot of time working with these guys.

• 1:42:55Sean Fennessey?

  I love when a movie introduces a character who seems completely ancillary and incidental and turns out to be the psychopath at the center of the movie.

• 1:43:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:03Sean Fennessey?

  The Woody reveal in theaters are like, this is pretty great.

• 1:43:06Bill Simmons?

  Double feature?

• 1:43:07Chris Ryan?

  I would go Kingpin just to get the Farrelly brothers' oeuvre.

• 1:43:11Sean Fennessey?

  I said American Pie. That was just held us down two summers, two Julys in a row.

• 1:43:15Chris Ryan?

  What do you have?

• 1:43:16Bill Simmons?

  Dumb and Dumber.

• 1:43:17Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:43:18Bill Simmons?

  Let's just laugh for three and a half hours. Uh, who won the movie?

• 1:43:22Chris Ryan?

  I know it's the Farrelly brothers, but it's Dylan.

• 1:43:26Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 1:43:27Chris Ryan?

  For this, for this viewing?

• 1:43:30Bill Simmons?

  So there's four candidates for this. And I actually think the answer is Ben Stiller. Because he goes from, I didn't know you could be the lead of a comedy to then ripping off 11 straight years of comedies. And it's because of this movie. And I don't know if it happens without this movie.

• 1:43:46Chris Ryan?

  Are you the deciding vote or do you have a third option?

• 1:43:48Sean Fennessey?

  I think it's Cameron Diaz.

• 1:43:49Chris Ryan?

  There you go.

• 1:43:49Sean Fennessey?

  Um, I think there's a really good case for both of them. I think Matt Dillon's the funniest part of the movie. I think Ben Stiller goes on to the greatest amount of success in the movie. But it's Cameron Diaz on the poster. It's Cameron Diaz's movie. It's her, her character's name in the title. This is the thing that catapults her.

• 1:44:05Bill Simmons?

  I thought about her, but I feel like she's, she's gonna win the next 15 years anyway.

• 1:44:10Sean Fennessey?

  I'll tell you what else I was thinking about.

• 1:44:11Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if Ben Stiller wins the next 15 years.

• 1:44:13Sean Fennessey?

  She never been nominated for an Oscar, you know, not really remembered in the.

• 1:44:18Chris Ryan?

  Has she ever done any Oscar bait?

• 1:44:19Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, Gangs of New York and, and being John Malkovich. She was nominated for a Globe for being John Malkovich. And she's, she's been nominated for awards before, but never quite got to that, that mountaintop.

• 1:44:29Bill Simmons?

  The Aaron Ferris thing was, felt like that was bad for a little bit.

• 1:44:32Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, that was a shot.

• 1:44:33Bill Simmons?

  What was the Aaron Ferris thing?

• 1:44:34Sean Fennessey?

  In Lost in Translation.

• 1:44:35Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:44:37Chris Ryan?

  She got a Globe nom for Something by Mary.

• 1:44:39Sean Fennessey?

  For this, yes.

• 1:44:41Bill Simmons?

  And now it's time we go to Craig for his take on the movie. You'd seen this movie before.

• 1:44:45Chris Ryan?

  Who did you think won the movie?

• 1:44:48Speaker 03

  I think in the moment, in the moment, it's Cameron Diaz. But I think if you watch the movie now, it's Matt Dillon. Because going back, you're just so surprised at how funny he is. And I'm, I can't believe that he didn't go on to do more comedy.

• 1:45:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, this is like, this is a little apex mountainy because it's like, who won the movie is different than who won the movie.

• 1:45:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:45:09Chris Ryan?

  I, right. Like, there's the best part of the movie and the person who benefited most from being in the movie.

• 1:45:13Bill Simmons?

  Which I think if you're doing that, I think it's Ben Stiller.

• 1:45:15Chris Ryan?

  It's Stiller.

• 1:45:17Speaker 03

  Well, when you walked out of the movie in 1998, probably Diaz.

• 1:45:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:20Speaker 03

  Being like, wow, who is that?

• 1:45:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:23Bill Simmons?

  Well, also the Farrelly brothers, I would have been like, give me season tickets now. I'm with you guys.

• 1:45:29Sean Fennessey?

  Where do you stand on the like, the run after this? Me, myself and Irene, Shallow Howl, Hall Pass, all those movies?

• 1:45:36Bill Simmons?

  I didn't like Shallow Howl. I did not like, uh, what was the other one?

• 1:45:41Sean Fennessey?

  Uh, Me, Myself and Irene.

• 1:45:42Bill Simmons?

  No, Me, Myself and Irene was Carrie's peak. Like, that was worth seeing in a theater. Shallow Howl and Stuck on You, I wanted it like Stuck on You, it just didn't work.

• 1:45:50Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah. It's not great.

• 1:45:52Bill Simmons?

  Just didn't happen. And then Fever Pitch is in a front.

• 1:45:56Chris Ryan?

  I still like Fever Pitch.

• 1:45:57Speaker 03

  You do?

• 1:45:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. It's fun.

• 1:45:59Speaker 03

  I like it too.

• 1:45:59Bill Simmons?

  Craig, what was your take?

• 1:46:01Speaker 03

  I love this movie. Uh, the script is just really impressive. Like, the amount of callbacks that they're able to weave back into the story. Like, there is no stone left unturned. It's really impressive. Like, every little mention, her having an ex-boyfriend named Brett. Everything ties up in a really. Yeah, in a really, really impressive way. Um, it's just a great set piece comedy. And I think, I think the, I think there was a, a sweet spot for set piece comedies. And I think CGI kind of ruined them. Where I think, when you have to live in like, the reality of what you're literally physically able to do while shooting a movie. I think set pieces were just way funnier because it was like real humans doing real stuff. And this is like a perfect sweet spot with that. And then once you got past certain, like, 2010s,

• 1:46:42Speaker 03

  there was like way more CGI in things and the humor to me felt more like artificial.

• 1:46:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, when Warren beats up Ted.

• 1:46:49Speaker 03

  It's real.

• 1:46:49Chris Ryan?

  It would be so fake now.

• 1:46:51Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:46:52Chris Ryan?

  And I think there's like-

• 1:46:53Bill Simmons?

  Stoward looks like he took those bumps.

• 1:46:54Chris Ryan?

  But they would do it the way they do like those fake, like those John Wick movies, like Bob Odenkirk action movies where it's like, oh, I'm like flying through the window.

• 1:47:04Speaker 03

  Because they always think bigger is better and then with CGI you can go huge. But I actually think it takes away some of the humanity of it. And so this movie is within like a 10, 15 year sweet spot of all the set piece comedies. In my opinion.

• 1:47:16Bill Simmons?

  I forgot to mention, I like when they try on the outfits and Warren's dressed as like a cowboy and then Ben Stoward comes out with the pink superhero outfit.

• 1:47:26Speaker 03

  Also, a driving range on the water is like the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. How many of those are there?

• 1:47:30Chris Ryan?

  Probably bad for the body of water, though.

• 1:47:31Speaker 03

  Why isn't there one of those in LA?

• 1:47:33Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I bet there is somewhere in the valleys.

• 1:47:35Sean Fennessey?

  So then it's the idea that you've got a underwater ball scooper?

• 1:47:40Chris Ryan?

  I guess.

• 1:47:40Bill Simmons?

  Listen, it would only improve the water in that way.

• 1:47:42Speaker 03

  Or there's a guy in a boat out there, just like there is, you know?

• 1:47:47Bill Simmons?

  CR.

• 1:47:48Chris Ryan?

  Phil?

• 1:47:48Bill Simmons?

  It was a pleasure.

• 1:47:49Chris Ryan?

  It was a pleasure, yeah.

• 1:47:51Bill Simmons?

  I'm sorry you didn't like my idea of having the suitcase of all the stunt come loads.

• 1:47:55Chris Ryan?

  I just wanted to know what you were gonna do with it. Like, I think it would be if you did a series of-

• 1:47:59Bill Simmons?

  You'd look at it if I had it in the house.

• 1:48:00Chris Ryan?

  I would check it out. I would be like, how could we, how can we ruin Ben's night with this?

• 1:48:04Bill Simmons?

  I love that they had made 30 of them. I was just so fascinated by this.

• 1:48:08Speaker 03

  That'd be good like Halloween, handing those out.

• 1:48:11Chris Ryan?

  Do you think the guy who made the loads has like had a good job? Do you think he is, do you think-

• 1:48:15Bill Simmons?

  I think he, he said he was in props, but now I think probably about 2007, probably moved back to wherever he came from. It was like, I'm moving back to New Jersey.

• 1:48:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:26Sean Fennessey?

  Like into his mom's house? What do you mean?

• 1:48:28Bill Simmons?

  I just don't think it really probably worked out.

• 1:48:30Sean Fennessey?

  His career as load master?

• 1:48:31Chris Ryan?

  At the correct point, CGI came in.

• 1:48:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:34Sean Fennessey?

  You might say he was load bearing.

• 1:48:35Bill Simmons?

  Sean, new newsletter?

• 1:48:38Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, hey, hey.

• 1:48:39Bill Simmons?

  Hey, projections?

• 1:48:40Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 1:48:40Bill Simmons?

  They do like a paragraph about there's something about Mary?

• 1:48:43Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that would be nice.

• 1:48:44Sean Fennessey?

  I would love to promote this fine podcast.

• 1:48:46Bill Simmons?

  Little Letterboxd?

• 1:48:48Chris Ryan?

  Anything you can do to help us out?

• 1:48:49Sean Fennessey?

  Yeah, you gotta pump those numbers up, you know?

• 1:48:51Bill Simmons?

  Thanks for your help. Thanks to Craig Roebuck as well. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well. Thanks to Louis K. for hanging out with me for the first time in two years.

• 1:49:01Chris Ryan?

  That was big of him.

• 1:49:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was nice of him. And we'll see you. We're doing all comedies this month, so we'll see you. Not sure what the comedy's gonna be next week, but we'll see you next week.

• 1:49:21Speaker 05

  This is U.S. Bank's Cozy Cash Formations with your chief financial playmaker, Fernando Mendoza. You are worthy of financial security. Budgeting is not restriction, it's freedom. You are smart, you are capable, you are giving your money a purpose. You are learning the language of saving, of growing, now streaming.

• 1:49:48Bill Simmons?

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