The Chiefs Choke, Lamar’s Out, Minshew Magic, Peanut Punch Chaos, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal LIVE after Eagles-Commanders to recap Week 8 of the NFL season. Then, they Guess the Lines for Week 9 before ending with Parent Corner. (0:00) Intro (1:52) Eagles-Commanders (11:18) Chiefs-Broncos (20:41) Ravens-Bills and Browns-Steelers (32:25) Vikings-Lions (39:07) Falcons-Buccaneers (47:36) Chargers-Rams (53:51) Patriots-Dolphins (56:59) Raiders-Jets (01:05:07) Cardinals-Cowboys (01:14:20) Titans-Bengals (01:17:43) Colts-Jaguars (01:23:42) Guess the Lines Week 9 (01:39:42) Parent Corner (01:47:44) NBA Catch-up Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Create a Personalized Price Plan® today. https://www.statefarm.com/lp/football/ See what boring banking can do for you. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit https://fanduel.com/playwithaplan to learn more about the resources and helplines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season. Uber Eats is delivering deals every game day. This week, get 10 free boneless wings from Wingstop on qualifying orders. Game on, flavor on, Wingstop is here. So if your fantasy league is coming over for some in-person smack talk, order Wingstop on Uber Eats and get 10 boneless wings free. It's the perfect way to keep everyone fed tonight so you can focus on the game. No matter who scores big tonight, you'll score a great deal. Order now and get 10 boneless wings free from Wingstop only on Uber Eats. Offer valid from September 14th to September 27th and from November 2nd to November 16th. Order minimum before taxes and fees is required. See retailer's storefront for details. Taxes, fees and terms apply.

• 0:45Bill Simmons?

  Product availability varies by region. Exclusions may apply. See app for details.

• 0:56Bill Simmons?

  This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Every football player brings something different to the field. Maybe they have a cannon arm, speed, power. Maybe they have their own podcast. That being said, no two players are exactly alike. And the same is true off the field. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you. So they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 1:50Bill Simmons?

  All right, the Bill Simmons Podcast live on Netflix. Right as we were coming on.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I don't know why that's so funny to you. Go ahead.

• 2:00Bill Simmons?

  Sal said he had another procedure on Thursday. So I was laughing and then we're on live TV here. Wanted to mention new rewatchables coming tomorrow. All the Right Moves, Tom Cruise, 19th movie, football movie. A classic. Me and Kyle Brand did that one. And then the week after, we're doing Air Force One, me and Chris and Sean,

• 2:24Bill Simmons?

  which is on Netflix right now. And then I think Amy Poehler is going to be on this month, too.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:29Bill Simmons?

  That's a rumor, yeah. Yeah, I know, I know her guy, Lewis.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Oh, really? Oh, you know him?

• 2:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I know Lewis.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Oh, could you get him on one of these? He'd be dynamite.

• 2:38Bill Simmons?

  Possibly. UCLA's eight, no, Lewis is feeling great these days. You know what wasn't feeling great today? Sunday night football at NBC. Wow. I actually, at one point, I went online to try to figure out what the worst Sunday night football game has been since NBC had it. And this might have been it. This might have been the worst combo of records, quarterbacks, quality of play. I had two basketball games on. I was watching the Lakers game. I was watching the Warriors game. Yaxel is one of the best right away rookies that we've had.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  All right.

• 3:11Bill Simmons?

  Yaxel and Boozer, like, we're doing great, cuz. And the football was happening, too.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  You're watching two basketball games during Sunday night? Don't pretend like you're exclusively Sunday night football watching on Sunday nights. You always have two best games.

• 3:24Bill Simmons?

  Did you ever in a million years think the Eagles were winning that game?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  A million years? I don't know. Was Washington that good in the second quarter? It looked like they were collapsing. I don't know. It was, it was a shitty game, for sure.

• 3:35Bill Simmons?

  It was terrible.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Those guys, they tried, though. They filled a lot of time. They dedicated time to eulogies. Chris spent a lot of time talking. He must have mispronounced pass rush. I think he, I think he was going to break the record. I think he had the Guinness staff on. He's like, we need something to do with here. But yeah, I don't know why they had that game. I looked it up, like I said, I asked AI. I said, why, why is this game not flexed? And AI is just like, you stumped us. This is it. This is, we're not that smart.

• 4:05Bill Simmons?

  So could they have done, they couldn't have just stolen KC Denver from CBS?

• 4:09Speaker 01

  From what I, my limited research, Browns, Steelers, Chiefs, Broncos were protected by CBS. Vikings, Lions was locked in by Fox or reserved for a later primetime slot. So like week 15 or something. So that left, and then there are other teams who have the, are maxed out for primetime, I think, including my shit ass squad, but whatever. We don't have to talk about them ever.

• 4:33Bill Simmons?

  Here's my idea. Let's do better with the flexing, cuz this game should have been flexed. I don't even think this would have made my multi-view today. Anyway, Philly, Philly lost. And I know you're excited cuz you hate the Eagles. And they are now two and six.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:49Bill Simmons?

  And our cross off teams, I'm gonna start here. We crossed off Miami, Tennessee, the Chargers, Arizona, Indianapolis and the Jets. Feeling great about those six.

• 5:00Bill Simmons?

  I think Philly's the next cross off. I don't see this coming back. I think they're probably gonna, they're two and six. They're gonna trade dudes. The only scenario is they would basically have to go seven and, I think, seven and two? Seven and one, something like that?

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:16Bill Simmons?

  I think the eight wins is maybe you could win the NFC East, but nine wins probably. And they're not getting to nine wins. So I vote we cross them off.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  It's over. Had they won, we would have had a decision to make. Probably wouldn't have gone Eagles or Washington, right? We probably would have had to take one of the bye teams, the Saints or the Texans. So that would have been tough. My team is always in the mix. Please don't disregard them. But we did beat the Eagles somehow. And we have a game up on them and we have a, our starting quarterback. And so I think it has to be Eagles.

• 5:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so they are, they are now three and a half games behind the Giants in the loss column. They're in last place. And actually, they have the second worst record in the entire NFC. So if that's not enough, then you look at the schedule the rest of the way.

• 6:04Bill Simmons?

  They still have some tough ones left. They have, they have home for Giants, Pittsburgh, at Dallas, at Arizona. They have Seattle on their schedule. They end with at San Francisco and at the Giants. And from what we've seen from the quarterback situation, that's not gonna get better. There's really no quarterbacks to trade for. Think of the bad quarterbacks we watched today. So I think it's a route.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  And their best player is doing Pilates in the, in the fourth quarter on the sideline. Like Barkley, like, I think he has three fourth quarter carries or something they showed? Like, so that's, yeah, there's no coming back for them.

• 6:37Bill Simmons?

  Well, they also, they traded AJ Brown for a future number one, which seems like a great trade since he doesn't play for the Patriots. I don't wanna call that trade a disaster yet, but I can't say I've enjoyed the first two months. But then they used their first round pick to take Lemon, who is aptly named. Cuz he doesn't jump out of the TV at all. I haven't seen anything from him that makes me think he's gonna be good. So they kinda went sideways on that one. They claim, they're, all the info guys, including Pellicero, are saying they, they don't seem to have a huge appetite to trade Barkley.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, well.

• 7:11Bill Simmons?

  I don't know.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  There's probably not a big appetite on the other end, too.

• 7:15Bill Simmons?

  Right, with the contract.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  He can't make it through. Yeah, it's rough. That GM's great, though. So they always figure something out. Not for this year, for sure, but they'll get, Roseman will figure something out.

• 7:26Bill Simmons?

  So playoff picture, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Jacksonville and Denver are our four leaders in the AFC for divisions. And then we have, we have four other teams that have five wins. So the AFC is getting really interesting. Baltimore is four and four, Vegas is four and four. They're not even in the top eight. And then in the NFC, Giants, Minnesota, Carolina and Tampa basically have three wins each. San Francisco, Chicago's five and two, Detroit's five and two, Green Bay's five and three. Seattle, four and three, Rams, four and four. So I'm as confused as ever. Lots of teams, like, when you try, oh, they're not gonna make it. It gets really hard to try to figure out who's actually not gonna make it.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  So I think right now, and this obviously could change, but I like the Rams. And I like the Packers. I think they're good teams and I think only one of them is making it. I think they're almost, like, the Rams are minus 118 to make it. The Packers are plus 102. It's basically a coin flip. Both are nine and a half wins on Fandel. I think that's the last team. And that's, that's a huge game on Netflix, which we're on right now. I don't know if you know, I just, I just looked up. We're on November 25th, the night before Thanksgiving, those two play. I think that's the seven seed right there, right? Cuz wouldn't you think everybody else would make it? You love, you know, the Viking, two from the North, right? Aside from the Packers.

• 8:44Bill Simmons?

  Well, we'll talk about the Vikes in a second. You have to get to 10 wins.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:48Bill Simmons?

  I think to make it.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 8:50Bill Simmons?

  Now, the question is, could somebody get 10 wins and be on the outside looking in anyway? Could we have a 10 and 17?

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 8:57Bill Simmons?

  You mentioned Rams to make it minus 116 on Fanduel, Packers minus 108. And then, uh, the Giants are minus 146 now to make the playoffs, which is mostly tied to division odds.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:11Bill Simmons?

  So.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  It's fair.

• 9:13Bill Simmons?

  I don't know, the Lions looked, the Lions had a really tough injury today with Campbell, but the Lions, that is the best their defense has looked, so. Yeah, it, it feels like a top-heavy league all of a sudden, which should be good for the gambling. I would say at some point, because that kind of ties into the teaser stuff we did. We'll talk about what the Bengals.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  It's good for the goose, it's good for the gambling. That's what they always say. My grandfather would always say that. I don't know.

• 9:36Bill Simmons?

  Who was the gander?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  The gander?

• 9:40Bill Simmons?

  The goose is good for the what?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  The gander was the gipper, right? I don't freaking know. Come on, man. I got too many pills here.

• 9:47Bill Simmons?

  Couple, a couple of things before we get into the games. Aaron from Madera, California wrote in and said, this is the one weekend where we got an extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings time. Really? They couldn't have had a, a Europe game this week?

• 10:01Speaker 01

  No doubt about it.

• 10:03Bill Simmons?

  What the fuck are they doing? I felt, I woke up, it, it was 5 o'clock, but it was really 4 o'clock because Murph just decided to bark at something in the hallway, which was probably a ghost.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:14Bill Simmons?

  And I was up ever since. Um, I actually watched Air Force One because I tried to watch the rewatchables a couple of times to get ready. Watching Air Force One, it's like 5:00 in the morning, it's pitch black. And I'm just like, why, why aren't like the Steelers playing the Panthers and, you know, Zimbabwe right now? Why do they do that to us?

• 10:33Speaker 01

  For sure. Stupid. And when we, when we become sports schedules, ours, this won't be an issue, right? Like, and, and I was well-rested. There definitely should have been a London game. The game's essentially started at 2:00 Eastern, as you said.

• 10:46Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  I almost decided to work out. That's how bored I was this morning.

• 10:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, do you spend time with your family? Like, what were you doing?

• 10:52Speaker 01

  I don't know. I just like prepped even more for, for betting and stuff, but, uh, yeah, that's, uh, that, that, that was a layup. I mean, it was after Halloween. That's perfect. They make everyone get trick or treat.

• 11:04Bill Simmons?

  Hungover?

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Good.

• 11:05Bill Simmons?

  Then the other thing, Steve Van Zant had a tweet today, our guy Steve Van Zant. I have been patiently, waiting patiently for it to get fixed since I know nothing in this modern world actually works, but I give up. All caps, the ESPN app sucks moose cock. I cannot get Sunday NFL Countdown on it. It takes three or four buttons before you reach anything, even when it does work. It should show you what is live on ESPN the minute you go to it. Does that take a rocket science to figure it out? Fuck. Does that take a rocket science to figure it out? I enjoyed that part.

• 11:39Bill Simmons?

  The ESPN app sucks moose cock.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know, Tom.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  It's a bad app. With all due respect, if we brought the ESPN app onto a boat and it disappeared, it wouldn't be the worst thing. Jimmy Pataro.

• 11:58Bill Simmons?

  He couldn't get it on the bottom big this morning. He's, he's yelling at Paulie. Uh, so I love that. I, I anointed that my favorite tweet of, um.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 12:07Bill Simmons?

  Of 2026. Okay, game of the year. I'm gonna go Broncos Chiefs.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  Jets Raiders.

• 12:13Bill Simmons?

  Oh, okay. Jets Raiders was the dumb game of the year. Broncos Chiefs was actually the game of the year. Where the Broncos are just doing karaoke with this Bo Nix thing now. It's, it's become a comedy routine. They go, they get on double digits in the fourth quarter. You're just not scared for them at all. He turns into a good quarterback miraculously in the last hour of every game. But the story, Sal, a choke job by KC.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  Sure was.

• 12:40Bill Simmons?

  Like a legitimate. First, they could have just ended the game. They had the ball. They couldn't get a first down. Mahomes took a sack. They, uh, they punt.

• 12:52Bill Simmons?

  Broncos come flying back down. They get this huge Coleman play. How the hell did that happen? Then they get inside the five and you're like, oh, the, maybe though this is where they fuck up. Nope, they score. Chiefs go all the way back down the other way. They get inside the 10. They don't get it.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:08Bill Simmons?

  Fourth down, they, third down play, I didn't like the play to Walker. Uh, the run play, because I don't think he's like a running inside the three yard. So fourth down and, and one, whatever it was, they get a false start. And tell America what you texted us after the false start by the Chiefs.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Did I say, wait, I can't even remember. What did I say? I'll tell America. I'll tell every country. What, what was it?

• 13:31Bill Simmons?

  That's the first time the Chiefs have ever gotten boned over by calling that spot since they've had Patrick Mahomes.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Something like that. Yeah, yeah.

• 13:38Bill Simmons?

  His wife got mad about it on, on mine after.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  I know.

• 13:42Bill Simmons?

  Like, sorry, this is how the rest of the league is judged. Your, your right tackle moved. Sorry, sweetheart.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  She's posted, you can't tell me you call that on a game-winning touchdown. Oh, wait, yeah, I can because it's us. That was the weakest call I've ever seen.

• 13:56Bill Simmons?

  All these terrible calls that have gone against the Chiefs over the years. Give me a break.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Mahomes like probably walks up and says, ah, honey, I, I, I don't, I don't think that's necessary. Maybe, maybe delete, maybe delete that, please.

• 14:08Bill Simmons?

  Oh, we've got 98% of all the calls.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Hi, home. Even Taylor Swift rolled her eyes at that. That's ridiculous.

• 14:15Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man. So anyway, fourth and six, fourth and seven, whatever it was, and then they didn't get in the, the Broncos with this dramatic end of the game goal line stand, they are now six and two. I don't know how they're six and two. But, um, did you feel like a little invincibility just pricked away from the Chiefs there?

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, a little bit. And I had a whole thing written up two drives before that last one, right? About, oh, Mahomes is still toying with everybody. He's still too nifty around the third and threes and the fourth and ones. And then I had to delete, delete the whole thing because he took a huge sack. I mean, it was a really.

• 14:50Bill Simmons?

  Terrible sack.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Really crazy. Like, it was third and two at the 40 with 2:44 left, right? So just go forward a little or don't go forward. So instead of fourth down and you go, or you draw them off sides or kick a shorter field goal. Now it's a 54-yard kick and, you know, in two weeks, Butker's gonna be working as a mate at a motel six or something. But that was awful. Like, that's not Chiefs football. So yes, I definitely feel like, uh, invincibility has chipped away.

• 15:16Bill Simmons?

  That was the other weird one where Andy Reid brought Butker out. I guess thinking the altitude might help him out and he missed one late too, but, um.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Altitude doesn't fix, um, accuracy. That's the only problem with altitude.

• 15:29Bill Simmons?

  Right. When you kick the ball to the right or the left or the uprights, doesn't really help. Just makes it goes faster by. My thought on the false start was, I think after the Tucker signing, the Chiefs finally had enough. And they weren't going to game the roulette table for them anymore at that point.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  The refs had enough?

• 15:45Bill Simmons?

  You know what? Yeah, the, the refs, the refs in the league. I think everybody, they were like, all right. Enough with the special treatment. We've had it with these guys. Um, the big news for Denver, other than this Bo Nix thing, where, um, they're three and three since last season in games where they've trailed by 11-plus points in the fourth quarter. And the rest of the league is 11 and 2, 215.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 16:12Bill Simmons?

  So they have almost 20% of all of those.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  I would think they're almost better than three and three, but yeah, that's, they trail in every single game. Shout out to Joe, Joe House. Good job by you. Plus 750, what do you have? Like, uh, Chiefs first half, Denver to win the game?

• 16:28Bill Simmons?

  Well, he called it the reverse cousins, the oxy cousin Sal special, the reverse.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  I'll take it.

• 16:33Bill Simmons?

  To plus 750. I know multiple Denver fans and I texted my friend Dave Bernard, um, because he's a huge Bronco fan, that we were trying to come up with a Bo Nix movie analogy. And I said, he's like the kid in Almost Famous who wasn't quite good enough of an actor to hang with all the other people. But he like, really like was scrappy and he did his best. And then in the last scene, he put it together. And that's kind of Bo Nix.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:01Bill Simmons?

  He was, he, he, you could get through the movie and it's okay and he's gonna throw some balls into the ground, but, and maybe he'll make you wince a few times. But in the end, you get the W and that's about as much as you're gonna ask for.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  So are we waiting for his big Almost Famous moment where he yells at the band like, she loved you and you shit on her? And she loved you because she was pure and she loved pure rock and that's what, and you turn your back on her. That's a wait, no.

• 17:28Bill Simmons?

  Or it's like, uh, that's the, what do you love about really stupid comebacks? Bo Nix turns the chair around to begin with, everything.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  All right.

• 17:38Bill Simmons?

  I asked our buddy Gus, diehard Denver Broncos fan, when was the last time they had a good running back? Because Jonah Coleman was really good today.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:46Bill Simmons?

  To the point that it, it made me kind of increase the ceiling for them. He said CJ Anderson in 2015.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  That's what I would say. So somewhere between Terrell Davis and, and, uh, I guess we're saying Jonah Coleman's good, but I guess, yeah. CJ Anderson was all right. He's, he was saluting and everything. Yeah, he was good.

• 18:04Bill Simmons?

  He said Lindsey had a thousand-yard season once and Dobbins was third in the league last year before he got hurt. But for the most part, the Broncos have thrown away this position. But I thought Jonah Coleman changed the game for them today.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Really good.

• 18:16Bill Simmons?

  That was, and it's not like, you know, Waddle, they, he's made a couple of good short yardage stuff for them. But for the most part, I don't think he's had the impact they thought. But what they really needed was somebody like Coleman.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. It is weird down low, like by the goal line, like, oh my God, why does it take all, all the way to fourth down always for this? And all the way to the fourth quarter for Denver to come back. And then that little outroute for, you know, to the fullback or whoever's almost always open on fourth down. And then, and then Waddle, the same thing. But, um, yeah, I, I also thought J.J. Watt had a bad time at the goal line. Almost as bad as the Chiefs when he said like, it was fourth and goal from the one. And he's like, well, you gotta just do three quarterback sneaks in a row here. No screwing around. And Nance is like, uh, yeah, but you're gonna have to get it here because it's fourth and goal. And then they did the pass to Waddle, scored.

• 19:06Bill Simmons?

  It was not a great game for them.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:09Bill Simmons?

  There was only three games and this was the, by far the one you would want the announcers for.

• 19:15Bill Simmons?

  Nance, I'm not ready to really get worried about him and say that he's in trouble, like past, like he's lost it. But he did not match the excitement and energy of that game today, I didn't think.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:28Bill Simmons?

  Um, I just didn't think he was good enough, so hopefully.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Maybe it's the altitude. Should they, they have oxygen up in those booths? I don't know.

• 19:35Bill Simmons?

  Maybe they, maybe he needed some, because even you listen to Tirico in the next game and Tirico is just so good at matching whatever, even a boring game, he can live. But a game like, a game like that Broncos Chiefs game, he just would have crushed it.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:48Bill Simmons?

  And Nance, I think, used to be able to match the moment of those games. So hopefully he can get it together.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Nance is paying Al Michaels to stay on.

• 19:57Bill Simmons?

  And we love Al Michaels, but he's another one that has, has trouble matching the moment.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  It's tough.

• 20:02Bill Simmons?

  And instead of like going higher, they just kind of do the, and Jonah Coleman, that's a touchdown.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:08Bill Simmons?

  But I really thought he struggled today. Um, not as much as Bo Nix for the first two hours, but um, so for the, for the Broncos, they get revenge. They cover every tease, which seems in danger, including my ringer 1071. They, they won outright and that was a line that moved all over the place. And the big thing is they got revenge against the Chiefs. Chiefs would have been four and O in the division and they really would have had. I think that, I think they almost would have been able to pack it away. So now that's going to be a good bet.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  And the Chiefs killed them that first Monday night, right? They waited and they gave Mahomes the last game of the week because whatever, he was coming off an injury. You know, Nix was also coming off an injury and, and Kenneth Walker went nuts and he did not go nuts today. They did have a couple of big plays.

• 20:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  It's like, oh, I mean, there's 52 points scored in that game, but um, yeah, if they could keep Kenneth Walker contained, this goes to any team. You might be in decent shape against the Chiefs.

• 21:02Bill Simmons?

  There's some special team stuff to be worried about them. I haven't seen a Kelsey game yet where he's looked healthy for three hours. I mean, this one, he went in and out, he's limping around and he just, there was one play where Mahomes had him in the second half over the middle and he just. It was like, they had these miscommunications that I don't remember them normally having, and he's just at a different point in his career.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:25Bill Simmons?

  So, um, I think the AFC is, I, I just don't know who the team is. Cause even you think about Buffalo, who is just getting these gifts week after week. Lamar gets hurt in the, you know, the first 10 minutes of the game, he's gone. The backup comes in, he gets hurt. So it's like, it's like, you know, another gift wrap for them. Houston, week one, they dropped the interception.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Nobody wants to give Buffalo credit. Nobody ever wants to give Buffalo credit, like in the regular season. All they do is win 11, 10, 12 games, 13. Their quarterback plays every game. I just, I'm, I'm used to it. Like, you know, there are some teams like Denver and Minnesota where the quarterback only needs to do so much. And they're going to win games, the majority of their games. Uh, and then there's teams like the Bills where you really just need the quarterback to do stuff. And uh, you know, 36, 10. I know the Bills had a couple of turnovers and it was 13, 7 for a minute, but um.

• 22:20Bill Simmons?

  For a minute, it was 13, 7 for an hour.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  I guess it was like 16, 10 with like nine minutes left in the third.

• 22:24Bill Simmons?

  The Bills kept giving them the ball back. They got stopped on a fourth down. They had a couple of turnovers. I didn't think they played well at all for the first hour and a half, but. It just became clear as uh, as the game went along. Once Huntley went out and the third stringer came in and he had two good passes in a row and it came in. And then it was just like, wow, this might actually be the worst. What was his name? Joey Fignano?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  His name is Joey Fignano and I think.

• 22:50Bill Simmons?

  Unfortunate spelling.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  His grandparents made a very strong move not to pronounce the G in his last name. And I think that's, that's bode well for him, but um. Yeah. The thumb to the helmet thing on the first play is very lucky and it's right up there. I think we talked about that in NBA with the center landing on a full, power forward's foot. Like, I can't believe that doesn't happen and cause injuries four times a game and uh, and poor Lamar is out there. And yeah, then they're down to the third string, but.

• 23:16Bill Simmons?

  I feel like we say this once a year on the pod, that we don't understand why seven quarterbacks a year don't break their thumb.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:23Bill Simmons?

  On the follow through on somebody's hand or helmet.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. Guess really crowded.

• 23:26Bill Simmons?

  It should happen all the time. Yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  No doubt.

• 23:29Bill Simmons?

  So Lamar, there's going to be, you know, this is yet another injury. We'll see how long. I, there, there's no answer for this. I Googled like golf came back in 12 days. Other guys have come back in three weeks. Some guys are out for the year. You just have no idea.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  The thumb is bad though. If you just buy, if you go by the eye test, that shit is bending all different ways. It's, it's rough. I, I, that could be it for him. I mean, we don't even know if like Huntley, Huntley has turf toe. He could be back. He could be all right, but. I don't know. This division all of a sudden is going to take a lot of games to, to win it.

• 24:04Bill Simmons?

  They're four and four. They're last in the AFC North. And here's the big one, Sal. They're playing on Thursday. Like this might be a rap for them. Cause if they're four and five and Lamar is not going to come back in three to four weeks, this was the team I thought was going to win the division. Meanwhile. Pittsburgh keeps putting together wins.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:22Bill Simmons?

  The Browns are ahead of them, which I don't think is going to last. Um, and then Cincinnati keeps winning dumb games where they play well for an hour.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:31Bill Simmons?

  So I, I think when, when you, if you think Denver and KC are going to be playoff teams and New England and Buffalo are going to be playoff teams. AFC South team. So that leaves only two from the AFC North. So they have to get into the top two. I don't see it.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  I was looking for a night, cause the Steelers are a nice price to not make the playoffs at plus 160, but you're right. That means. We're running out of teams here, cause that means either Cleveland or the Raiders or Baltimore or Houston has to sneak in, right?

• 24:59Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  And uh.

• 25:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, so Hugh, I, would you, would you get to bet on Houston or Cleveland to make the playoffs, which Cleveland has a better record than, they're five and three and Houston's.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Two and five.

• 25:12Bill Simmons?

  Two and five?

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Bill Simmons?

  But why do I have, feel better about Houston than Cleveland? Is that stupid?

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I know. It's not stupid because they've done this before. I mean, they did it last year, but I think I would still take Cleveland. Why? The odds are um, comparable? No, you gotta, you better odds for uh.

• 25:27Bill Simmons?

  Cleveland's plus 184 and Houston.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Plus 146.

• 25:32Bill Simmons?

  Houston's plus 146. Yeah. So my instincts were correct. The problem with Cleveland, you saw it today, like you just run all over them.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:41Bill Simmons?

  And I think teams have figured that out over the last couple of weeks. And now Pitt, what Pittsburgh did to them today, that was like, take the game off the multi-view within an hour.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  This was dumb. This should have been our best bet. Like this is, we're, we're seasoned vets. We should have seen, looked ahead and we saw they've lost like 22 straight in Pittsburgh.

• 25:58Bill Simmons?

  It would have been, except for this Europe thing with the Europe teams being 0 and 8, playing the week after. That kind of freaked me out.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:05Bill Simmons?

  That was the only reason I didn't do the Steelers.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  They just owed them a beat down. It was like, take it, take it like a man, Deshaun. This is going to be, they had eight sacks for, you know. Once they forced two turnovers and eight sacks, nothing else really matters.

• 26:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And then you think like, uh, the Browns beat them the last time, but it was a Thursday night. Their secondary was battered. I think that was either right when the Porter trade was happening or right before it happened and it was, and they barely won anyway. So Steelers get revenge. Yeah. I, I, from a Ravens standpoint, what did Fanduel have for the Ravens? That was.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  To make the playoffs?

• 26:42Bill Simmons?

  So they're plus 430 to make the playoffs. So Fanduel's written them off. Cause I wouldn't bet that.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  I think the Thursday thing, now that you brought it up, it is like Huntley might've played on regular rest. But if they have to put this guy in again, you know, on a Thursday, now all of a sudden you're four and five and uh. You know, it's interesting because the Steelers still play them twice. It's like, really is all scheduling, right? Had the Steelers played the Ravens a few weeks ago, it would have been different. Now they play maybe Snoop Huntley led, led Ravens twice. So.

• 27:15Bill Simmons?

  I would say playing Jacksonville in Jacksonville on a Thursday after what happened on today is the single worst team they could play in the AFC.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:23Bill Simmons?

  The Jacksonville in seven straight games at home by 17 plus. At home, they're just really good.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  It's in Baltimore.

• 27:30Bill Simmons?

  Oh, is it in Baltimore?

• 27:31Speaker 01

  I think so. Right?

• 27:33Bill Simmons?

  Well, then I changed what I said.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Take it back.

• 27:36Bill Simmons?

  God, cut that out. Oh shit, we're live. Fuck.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Who's idea to go live? My God.

• 27:44Bill Simmons?

  Is it? Are we sure?

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. If it says at the team on the right side of the at.

• 27:49Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I have to, I have to change my pick then. Gahow. Oh yeah. It's Jacksonville, Baltimore. All right. I'm, I'm changing my pick. I don't care if we already did the graphic. I'm not, I'm not staying with it.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  It's fine. It's fine.

• 28:02Bill Simmons?

  So the Steelers Browns game, Warren and Dowd were 32 for 199, two touchdowns.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:10Bill Simmons?

  Watson was 27 for 39 for 324 and they scored six points. So I don't know if you can have more meaningless yardage than that. Uh, I took the game off the multi-view probably at, I would say 1048.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:24Bill Simmons?

  My big question for you with the Steelers was, was Tomlin holding them back? Does this become a storyline this week?

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 28:30Bill Simmons?

  Why are they better this year with Aaron Rodgers is a year older and it's basically the same team? Why are they, why are they better? Why is their offense better? Did he not know how to coach offense at all? Should that have fallen on him? Because McCarthy has unlocked a nice little way of like. Pound with the run and then, you know, try to get Rogers deep a couple of times and it's working.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  It's kind of perfect, the formula they have, right? The defense is as good as we always thought it would be, right? Creating constant pressure or pretty solid pressure throughout the three hours. And uh, they were running back. Yeah. Warren has like 90 plus yards in five of his last six games and Rogers isn't screwing up. So. It's a little bit early. I think they have some tough games in November, so we'll, we'll see. But um, yeah, now the other question you could ask.

• 29:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but they go, they go four and five their last night and that's 10 wins.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah. To get to 10, they should be all right. I was trying to think of uh, yeah, cause the, and again, they have the Ravens twice on their schedule. Like that's not, they're definitely not going to get swept there. Was Tony Dungy holding NBC back? Is, I mean, in uh, in fairness to Tomlin?

• 29:41Bill Simmons?

  Steelers are minus 250 to make the playoffs. So people agree with us. So I did have a Derrick Henry question. Cause I had Baltimore plus three in Ringer 107. And you know, it felt like there was a puncher's chance there for a little while with the way Buffalo kept turning the ball over. Henry was 11 for 53 in this game.

• 30:05Bill Simmons?

  And watching it, it was like, why aren't they just handing it? Why, why isn't this like a 28 carry Derrick Henry game? Is it because they're playing Thursday night or whatever? But they just didn't really involve him that much in the game. And that, that left Joey to try to be making these plays on third down. And I, I just thought it was a very strangely coached game by them. It was almost like, even though the score was close, like they didn't feel like they were going to be able to get to 17 points.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, they could have stayed with the game script for a little bit, right? Cause it was 1610 with nine minutes left in the third before, uh, who was it? Who got the long pass? Was it Coleman that caught the long pass from, uh, from Allen? But, uh, yeah, I feel the same way. But, uh, yeah, believe me, as someone who has him in like two fantasy leagues, I'm dying here with Derrick Henry.

• 30:52Bill Simmons?

  Mallory is absolutely distraught, in case you were wondering.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:55Bill Simmons?

  This is the Orioles. So that tough sports year for Mallory, but the Ravens going from being one of the two favorites heading into the season. It was the Bills and the Ravens were the two AFC favorites. And now they are favored not to make the playoffs.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  I don't know. I, I put a large amount of money on the Ravens to win the division. I forget what week it was, two or three, and the Bengals, I'm like, this team isn't showing me anything. And the Steelers will go away. And, uh, instead Lamar went away.

• 31:22Bill Simmons?

  We're going to take a break. And when we come back, we're going to talk about what the Bengals did to us. Where it was a win. And yet by the end of it, I didn't even feel like I won. I didn't know what I won. It was, it was like, it was like when the helicopters flying out at the end of a Vietnam movie and you're like, what, what just happened? I lost almost everyone in my platoon. Did I win? That's how I felt emotionally, but we're talking about the Bengals next. The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by FanDuel. Monday Night Football just got a lot more rewarding with FanDuel Rewards Club. You can unlock exclusive offers throughout the NFL season, including Monday Night Football. Talk of profit boost promotions, more ways to get rewarded on the matchups you're already watching, whether you're building a same game parlay around the game or betting on

• 32:07Bill Simmons?

  your favorite player props. There's plenty to get in on. Before Monday Night Football kicks off, head to the FanDuel app. Check out what's available for your level. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat. Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. And yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory and banking is no different.

• 32:51Bill Simmons?

  While everyone tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves. And the financial wins, they just keep coming. PNC Bank brilliantly boring since 1865. Brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association Member, FDIC.

• 33:16Bill Simmons?

  Two NFC games that were, all right, let's see where we're standing in this division. First one was Lions Vikings. Vikings were six and oh. Nobody believed. I ended up not putting this in Ringer 107 or really anything. Cause I just, I kept changing my mind on what I thought might happen in this. I didn't want to bet on Kyler Murray. Then I was Vikings defense is a good defense, better than a bad, good defense, no offense, better than good offense, bad defense. And then you watch the first half and you're like, man, shit taking Minnesota. Oh man, their defense, holy shit. And then Detroit figured them out. They ran for 230 yards. Gibbs was 23 for 153.

• 34:01Bill Simmons?

  191 touches, seven games from him. Continue to bring that up. Goff was blitzed on 83% of his drop backs, but was really good again. And then the Minnesota QB problem became a glaring problem as the game went on and Detroit kicked their butt. So what'd you learn from the game?

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I thought, well, going in, I thought this is the perfect team to beat the Vikings, right? Or whatever they present defensively. Cause Goff doesn't make mistakes. He hadn't turned the ball over before today. And even today's turnover was like, Jameson Williams fell down.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  He was dizzy from spinning the ball in celebration from before, whatever. But, uh, I thought they played well against the defense. Like they weren't scoring a lot in the first half and Goff took four sacks, three by Van Ginkgo, but, um, they were moving the ball. They had a bunch of big plays, which you'd never get versus Florida's schemes. Like Gibbs eventually had three explosive plays, Williams, St. Brown, that Vaki guy, Vaki, I don't know, he had two 10 plus yard rushes. So I'm like, and then I'm thinking, and I had the Lions too. So of course it was, uh, that was invested, but I was like.

• 35:06Bill Simmons?

  Oxy cousin had the Lions?

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Oxy cousin had the Lions. I was like, there's going to be a bad loss for Dan Campbell. But, um, I thought the right team won. Like, you know, listen, the Vikings, this is how it is. They averaged like 16 points a game over the last six. It's going to be a problem. You know, it's, it's a foregone conclusion, but maybe they don't get to 10 wins.

• 35:24Bill Simmons?

  266 yards.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:27Bill Simmons?

  15 points, 15 first downs.

• 35:31Bill Simmons?

  Vikings receiver, Justin Jefferson declined comment after the game through a team spokesman and got mad on the sidelines during the game. And I think over the next couple of days, we are going to get a lot of Vikings quarterback stuff. Six and one. But, um, what would, what did you say their record would be if you were the quarterback? Four and three?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  I thought four and three. I'm not going to say I would be undefeated, but I think I'd be four and three.

• 35:56Bill Simmons?

  Do you have kidney stones in this scenario or are you completely healthy?

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, yeah, I have more kidney stones.

• 36:01Bill Simmons?

  More kidney stones.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Doubled up on that. Yeah, Kyler is weird, right? Cause then you'll see like the 20 yard rush, the scramble. It's like, oh man, that's it. That's all they really need from him. But then there's stuff like when the pocket collapses and he's like, he like, I could see what Jefferson's saying. Like he rears back where he's staring at the top of the, uh, the dome. And, uh, he looks like one of the electric football quarterback, just like, really? There's no way it's going to make. And, uh, yeah, it's, it's, um, I, I, again, they have the Bills, the Packers and the Niners next. So do they get to, they definitely get to 10?

• 36:34Bill Simmons?

  Are you saying Kyler Murray's throwing is like when Corolla has a really good point and he does that?

• 36:39Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 36:40Bill Simmons?

  Looks up before he makes his voice, closing his eyes.

• 36:45Bill Simmons?

  The goalpost, could they be bigger?

• 36:47Speaker 01

  He's staring at the top of the goalpost is what he's doing. Yeah.

• 36:51Bill Simmons?

  I, you know, this is why I was out on the Vikings, why I've been waiting for them to collapse, but the defense is so good. It's become one of those situations where it's like, well, maybe the defense can drag him along. And today it felt like a breaking point.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:05Bill Simmons?

  And you mentioned the schedule. You know, Cousins is out there now. I don't know if Vegas would even trade.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  No.

• 37:11Bill Simmons?

  Four and four. But that's the only one that you could really trade for. And maybe, maybe try to add to this, make a difference.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  That the six and one team is looking for, cause they're talk about, even Vikings fans, they're like Carson Wentz would be better and whether, who else would they say? And then the J.J. McCarthy thing hurts too.

• 37:31Bill Simmons?

  Does it? You think it hurts that they drafted him to the top 10 and gave up on him? And now he's quarterbacking a, a division leader? I mean, that's the weirdest thing. Like the fact, the fact that that soured so badly that they got rid of him while also not knowing if Kyler Murray was the answer or not.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:48Bill Simmons?

  I feel vindicated, but neither of us bat a thousand on our over unders every year.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Hmm. Oh yeah, that's true. Okay, yeah.

• 37:56Bill Simmons?

  I just could never get behind the Kyler Murray thing. I couldn't understand why people were so excited about this. It's not just that he's all over the place. If I was a receiver on his team, I would be terrified. Going over the middle, he, he loves to make you climb up the ladder. So you can just get absolutely creamed from behind, which happened to Jefferson in today's game. But the, the ball just never seems to be here.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:22Bill Simmons?

  You're always like up here or you're this way or.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think Hawkinson's made one catch where he's had like bold feet on, in the, between the.

• 38:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah. He's, he's sprawled over every single time. And that's the Bo Nix problem for the first two hours too. It's like, he'll have open guys, but the guys falling down without getting tackled because the throw's not good enough. But, um, you know, I just think the nerds, the nerds were so anxious to tell us how Kyler and here's why. It's like, this guy, this guy, we, we've already seen this. We know what we're getting from this guy.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:56Bill Simmons?

  You don't just get better at quarterback as you're hitting your late 30s or late 20s. So that was one. And I, I left that game feeling like, uh, the Lions, the defense, now that they're, the secondary has improved. Branch came back. Hopefully they get Joseph back at some point. But the, the defense felt a little more two years ago Lions-ish. The big thing is Jack Campbell, who we don't have an answer on what happened to him yet. They, they said he was resting comfortably in a hospital. We'll hear about it tomorrow, but that one seemed bad. And usually we get more positive updates by now. So that's like the heart of their defense. That was horrible. That put a huge black cloud over the game, um, and was just really sad.

• 39:40Bill Simmons?

  But it, we didn't get any encouraging news about him yet. So that.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 39:45Bill Simmons?

  If he's out for the year, that.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  Uh, they, they just go through like, I mean, this is an extreme case, but they, they somehow go through like 40 defenders a year.

• 39:54Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  It's so unlucky.

• 39:55Bill Simmons?

  They never seem healthy. Well, then the other one was Bucks Falcons.

• 40:02Bill Simmons?

  The Bucks were dead. Now they're a half game out and they became the first team since 1974 to win a game without completing a pass. And you wouldn't have believed it unless you watched the game, which both of us did.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:15Bill Simmons?

  It was, I can't even describe this game. Penix had one of the worst games. Now statistically, they're saying it really was one of the worst games of all time. He threw four picks. I feel like he could have had two or three more. Like, I feel like they dropped at least two more, right?

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, his passes weren't even coming close to anybody but the other team.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  And you want to blame the rain, but yeah, they were, they were like, some of them were not weather related. He's just like not looking off a receiver and then just throwing it into double coverage anyway. I was saying this was Tua in a Michael Pennix Halloween costume jersey. Or like within a Rico Palazzo situation where the umpire's kidnapped and they bring in the other quarterback, but uh.

• 40:57Bill Simmons?

  Would that, would that be like one of the biggest scandals in the history of the league? If Tua was wearing a Michael, like that Fox News guy who had like his mask was coming up his neck?

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Right, right, right. They would do it in wrestling all the time. But that is Tommy wildfire rich. Oh my goodness.

• 41:13Bill Simmons?

  Execution number two.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:15Bill Simmons?

  Who is it? Oh my God. He, he, I wrote down in my notes, he was reacting to the rain like my dogs when it's pouring outside and they don't want to go outside and get completely discombobulated.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:29Bill Simmons?

  It was like he had never been in rain before. I've never seen a quarterback handle bad weather worse.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:35Bill Simmons?

  He couldn't complete five yard passes.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  He played at Indiana and Washington. Like he should have, he, he should be used to rain. He really should. I mean, what was total yards? 324 to 99?

• 41:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  It's not good outside of prime time, I guess. I don't know.

• 41:51Bill Simmons?

  The halftime stats, I wrote this down. Pennix was two for 10 for 24 yards and three picks. And Baker was 0 for 2 for 0 yards.

• 42:02Bill Simmons?

  That was what was going on. The, the Bucks ran for like, you know, 300 plus yards. And they seem like they're the best team in the division and you know, House and I talked about this on Thursday's pod. They have a top five defense by every calculation.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:17Bill Simmons?

  They've had some losses that were losses, maybe they could have flipped and it just seems after, especially after what we saw in Carolina on Thursday night. It just seems like Tampa should win this, but as you always say.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  I'm just laughing.

• 42:30Bill Simmons?

  Don't trust the NFC South.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Don't assume anything. Yeah, you bet the Bucks and good for you. God bless. But this is exactly the kind of slop you get by betting some of these NFC South games, plus weather, where a team wins by essentially three scores without completing a freaking pass. What'd you say? 1974 Bills? It was the last, I mean, come on.

• 42:48Bill Simmons?

  1974.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Was that, did OJ threaten to stab his quarterback if he completed a pass? What went on there?

• 42:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So Tampa was one and five and then won the next two games by 59 to 13. And now they play Chicago in Chicago next week and have a bye. But they still have like, they have Carolina on their schedule left. They have two New Orleans games. They have Atlanta. They have the, the corpse of the Chargers. They get to play at Baltimore, who's not going to have their quarterback. So.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  What did you say?

• 43:21Bill Simmons?

  All the Tampa bets might hit.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  59 13 in the last two games. And I think Baker completed seven passes last week and zero this week. You have a guy, 59 13, your quarterback is like, oh, well, your quarterback's back, right? Like, yeah, no, we don't know. We don't know. He doesn't, he doesn't complete passes.

• 43:37Bill Simmons?

  He's sort of back.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  He doesn't throw them, so he doesn't complete them.

• 43:39Bill Simmons?

  Well, he had one play where he went, went to throw it and the ball just came out of his hand and went flying in the air, but bounced to them. And that was when he knew Tampa was going to win.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Magician. Yeah.

• 43:47Bill Simmons?

  I don't understand why they don't play the backup.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:51Bill Simmons?

  Like if they're not going to throw the ball anyway, why not play the guy who's a better athlete? And the funny thing about the game today is Bucky Irving got peanut punched heading into the end zone. That would have been another touchdown. Like this game, the fact that it was even like relatively close for two hours was a miracle. I have some peanut punch thoughts, by the way.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 44:10Bill Simmons?

  Eduardo, you might have to cue the social media machine up for this. Peanut punch has become prevalent, right? And Charles Peanut Tillman, good defensive back, nothing, you know, not amazing. You would never think. He's like Tommy John. It's amazing this thing's named after him for the rest of his life.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:27Bill Simmons?

  If you missed a peanut punch and you actually punched the guy, I think it should be a 15 yard penalty. I think there should be stakes for the peanut punch. Right now, there's no stakes.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 44:36Bill Simmons?

  You just get to haul back and punch as hard as you possibly can. And if you miss, like you either hit somebody in the shoulder, maybe you hit him in the helmet. It doesn't matter. It was just like, oh, I get to hide behind the peanut punch.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  I think you're right, but have we seen anybody miss?

• 44:51Bill Simmons?

  We saw, there was a game, the UCLA game when Nico got hurt.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:58Bill Simmons?

  The guy peanut punched him and missed and like nailed him on the same play where he hurt his knee. And they were talking about, wow, how is that not a penalty? It's like, well, he was trying to peanut punch.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:09Bill Simmons?

  So is the peanut punch, can I just walk on the street and be like, try to peanut punch somebody's iced coffee, but I accidentally hit them in the, in the chest?

• 45:16Speaker 01

  This sounds like a.

• 45:18Bill Simmons?

  It's just out of control.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Sounds like a Jimmy Kimmel Live hidden camera bit we would do in 2005 or something.

• 45:25Bill Simmons?

  This is the year, what's the year of the peanut punch?

• 45:28Speaker 01

  The peanut punch pedestrians and here's how that one.

• 45:30Bill Simmons?

  And then Bill got actually punched.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:33Bill Simmons?

  But this is the year of the peanut punch because Jim Nance peanut punched the J.J. Watt ball and broke his hand. We've never heard about, that's probably why Jim Nance is, has been off his game.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  He's probably on more drugs than I am.

• 45:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's, he's probably oxy Jim Nance.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:47Bill Simmons?

  So.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  I'm with you on that. Yeah.

• 45:50Bill Simmons?

  Jeff from Calgary emailed today. He hates quarterback wins as a stat. Because Baker Mayfield today got a quarterback win. And he thinks this is the most deceiving stat we have. There's quarterbacks that get these wins. And, and as he points out, Baker Mayfield never completed a pass. Why does he get the quarterback win for this? And should we take this stat seriously? I don't know. There's some interesting clues.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  Well, he's right. I mean, he's Calgary, the Calgary Stampeters had a quarterback many years. No, I don't know. I don't know what Jeff Calgary, but that, but then, you know, you got guys who go crazy and get losses. Like how many Josh Allen great games did he end up on the wrong side of? And you get a, you get a loss for that, right?

• 46:38Bill Simmons?

  But should it be like, I had to have thrown for a hundred yards to have the QB win count?

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 46:43Bill Simmons?

  So like in Major League Baseball, I have to, I have to get 15 outs to get the win or I get to come in.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Starting pitcher. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. That's two good points.

• 46:53Bill Simmons?

  I have to generate a hundred yards of offense in some way between running and throwing to qualify for a win.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  How about this? I have to hit my receivers more than the opposing quarterback completed passes to my defenders.

• 47:06Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  That shouldn't be too hard.

• 47:08Bill Simmons?

  I have to peanut punch myself to get the win. Carl F. From Winston-Salem wants us to know, the Bucks are in a bad division.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks Carl.

• 47:18Bill Simmons?

  But if you look it up, every non-conference game this season that they have will be against a team with a winning record. And he asked the various AI engines if this had ever happened before and they seemed to think no. But he's, he wants to know is that, has, can you ever remember 11 non-divisional games against 500 or better teams?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Well, so are they, so they play the AFC, the NFC North? I'm just trying to figure it out, but from the email.

• 47:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they play.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  They must play the NFC North and the AFC West? Is that it?

• 47:53Bill Simmons?

  No, they play the, they play the AFC North and the NFC North.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  AFC North and NFC, right, right, right. Okay. All right. Well.

• 48:00Bill Simmons?

  Here's where, here's where this argument falls apart. Tampa plays the Chargers.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  Right. I'm just looking at that. Yeah.

• 48:08Bill Simmons?

  And the Chargers, I'm pretty sure are not going to have a 500 or a record. So.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:13Bill Simmons?

  You know, this is, this is really what you get for listening to Carl F. From Winston-Salem.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Well, they're at the Bears, the home for the Rams.

• 48:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but they do have a really tight schedule.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  They have some tough ones in there.

• 48:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  We forgive you, Carl.

• 48:26Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of the Rams, Chargers Rams, a close game. A one-possession game for two hours. And then Herbert threw, every, every week he throws the worst possible pick you've ever seen in your life. He did it again today. Game flipped. Rams are up two scores. Game's over. Chargers now have 27 straight possessions without a TD, which doesn't seem like a real stat. And, um. And so I wrote down, I don't know who to blame for this Chargers offense debacle between Herbert and McDaniel. And I don't know what the right choice is. And it reminds me of the LA mayor race where it's Bass or Ramen and nobody knows what to do because they're just

• 49:10Bill Simmons?

  the worst two choices you could ever have in your entire life. It's like, how, how could anyone be worse than Bass? It's like, yeah, she might be worse than Bass. And literally, I was at a party on Saturday and nobody knows who to vote for. It's like, it's like, uh, do you want to fall out of a window or do you want to get hit by a car? Um, I think the Herbert McDaniel thing is the same way. I don't, I don't know who to blame. They run these misdirection things. I've been joking about every week where it starts at the left. Oh, he whirls around and throws a bubble screen to the, oh, the guy's getting tackled three yards behind the line. He doesn't seem to know where his receivers are. He's lost his confidence completely. He's just gets killed.

• 49:53Bill Simmons?

  20 times a game. It just seems like they roll him right into a pass rusher. And so who's more to blame Herbert or McDaniel?

• 50:00Speaker 01

  I'd blame the fires, I guess. Like, I honestly, I don't know. Like, I haven't seen anything like this. Have you seen anything like this where a team that's expected to get 10 wins or in any sport, whatever, is supposed to win right up there to win their division and they just fold with their star quarterback who everyone wants to put in their top five? They're dying to put in their top five before now.

• 50:22Bill Simmons?

  This is done. We can't do it anymore. He's terrible.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Of course not. But and all the other integral players are intact and they just lose and lose and lose. And it's the same way. They always look good for like four minutes and no one can take that away from them. They look good and then, and then it's gone just flat. Just, I don't, maybe, maybe it's the worst game script we know.

• 50:45Bill Simmons?

  I took them plus six and a half for Ringer 107 and felt really good at it for the first hour. They're coming off a bye. It's like, oh, they have a little bit of identity like, and then it just completely fell apart. And he just looks like deer in the headlights the entire game. And like, he doesn't really want to be there. Harbaugh's doing the Joe Biden.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  You were so political this segment.

• 51:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's really, I really went for it. The Joe wrote in.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Joe Biden, stop doing my.

• 51:21Bill Simmons?

  No, stop doing impressions of me, youngster. Somebody named Joe wrote in and wants to know if Justin Herbert should pull on Andrew Luck and just retire. He's said he's made $156 million and he has a gorgeous fiance. And he's getting his head bashed in every Sunday. Just, just quit and go be like an influencer. Go be, go do stuff with Mr. Beast. Be like, oh, here's Justin Herbert. Ever showed you my Mr. Beast impersonation?

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Let's say it.

• 51:52Bill Simmons?

  Here's Justin Herbert.

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 51:55Bill Simmons?

  Justin's gonna come in. But just maybe that's what he should do.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, there wouldn't be as much outrage as there was with Andrew Luck retiring. That's for sure. I think it would make a little more sense.

• 52:08Bill Simmons?

  People would be happy for him.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Let's do this. When do they win?

• 52:11Bill Simmons?

  When do they win?

• 52:12Speaker 01

  When do they have, they haven't won a game.

• 52:14Bill Simmons?

  Another social clip for Eduardo.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Eduardo's gonna be very busy. Texans at Chargers. I guess, you know, we'll get to the lines, but.

• 52:24Bill Simmons?

  Can I do Mr. Beast trying to guess what their next one is?

• 52:27Speaker 01

  You do Mr. Beast and Joe Biden and Karen Bass trying to guess the lines. Yeah. Texans at Chargers.

• 52:34Bill Simmons?

  Loss.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Chargers at Ravens.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I mean, come on, some of these.

• 52:42Bill Simmons?

  At Miami? At Vegas?

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Oh, you're way, you're way down in December here.

• 52:48Bill Simmons?

  Oh, so at Baltimore, they could win that one.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's in two weeks, right?

• 52:52Bill Simmons?

  If it's Piñano?

• 52:55Bill Simmons?

  Or whoever?

• 52:56Speaker 01

  That's it. That's a night game, too.

• 52:57Bill Simmons?

  You know what's hilarious is they'll probably beat Houston next week. We're all gonna have Houston in a tease next week.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, no doubt. Houston off a bye.

• 53:06Bill Simmons?

  Herbert, 375 yards. The nerds will be like, we're back. Herbert's back. We did it. Mr. Beast will be like.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  He still will.

• 53:19Bill Simmons?

  Oh, speaking of the Rams, still alive. And you know who's, who's more noticeable every week on the television? Aaron Donald.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:31Bill Simmons?

  Just seems like he's pushing the line and he's looking more and more like Aaron Donald. They had this funny thing where he was trying to pick up a fumble today because God forbid the Chargers didn't turn the ball over. And he couldn't pick it up and he kind of kicked it, somebody kicked it out of bounds. And it cut to Myles Garrett on an exercise bike just laughing. Did you see that?

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did see it.

• 53:52Bill Simmons?

  Just like laughing his ass off, I guess because Donald couldn't pick up the fumble. It's like, hey, motherfucker, it's week eight. You getting out there? How's the knee? We traded, we traded verse and three picks for you.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm not worried about them as much as, I know we just went over it like.

• 54:08Bill Simmons?

  You're right, nah.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  But it is like Rams or Packers right now because you do run out of spots there. But I don't, they, they kind of do the same thing. Like that Corum Williams thing, 129, Puka's 11 for 80 is as bad as it's gonna get for him, I think, with the touchdown.

• 54:27Bill Simmons?

  Do you think they should replace Jim Harbaugh with Mr. Beast?

• 54:33Bill Simmons?

  It'd just be Herbert in completion, they cut to the sideline and he's just like, super happy.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Mr. Bolt, yeah.

• 54:41Bill Simmons?

  Pats Dolphins followed the script of every single Pats loss of my lifetime in Miami for the first two plus hours.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  I was looking bad.

• 54:49Bill Simmons?

  Then we got this crazy spot on a fourth and, fourth and like two to Pop Douglas that it seemed like he was short, but I guess he wasn't. Goes to timeout, goes to commercial. And I'm like, holy fuck, like Miami's gonna drive down now. And this is like really danger time. Comes back and we have the ball. And then the game flips. Drake was incredible in the second half. We had all of our backup wide receivers. We have, we have guys in the offensive line. I don't know where they came from. Like, I don't know if they're just pulling them from the street. We, we're on like our fifth and sixth backup guards and none of it mattered. And they beat Miami in bad weather, started raining again near the end. Drake

• 55:33Bill Simmons?

  may now 14-0 when the Pats are three plus favorites. I think you should apologize again.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm not apologizing. I mean, he's got a, yeah, it was perfect. Pats win, Dolphins cover. That makes sense. He was great. I was all set for you to make the rain excuse, you know, as the Doppler effect reports came in. But listen, that's an amazing asset to have, that he could throw with accuracy, the long ball, 48 and a 43 yard touchdown. That's, I wish every team could have it. And your defense was very good. You had five sacks. I think you allowed like 14 yards in the third quarter.

• 56:06Bill Simmons?

  Couple dropped picks that I felt like we could have had.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:10Bill Simmons?

  But it was 24-19 and for a moment it felt like maybe we were gonna give them the ball back. And I was like, god damn it, this, this, I've just seen this too many times, these dumb losses in Miami, but they actually pulled it out.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  You're good. You're good. You're a top four, top four team, I think. Top four or five team in the AFC. I think that's.

• 56:29Bill Simmons?

  We should be either six and two or five and three. So we have right around the right record. Game of the day was Raiders Jets, as you mentioned.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  I do want to, before I go on, I was thinking of something and I should bring it up this week because it gets stale if I don't. Frable gets divorced. His wife decides she's had enough and he starts dating Jordan. Can Fandel put up odds on this? I mean, I may root for the Pats if that happens.

• 56:54Bill Simmons?

  Why are you doing this to me?

• 56:55Speaker 01

  You know it would happen. It could happen. What an F you it would be to Belichick.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  You're thinking about it. Just put odds up on it, Fandel. Bill doesn't have to talk about it.

• 57:08Bill Simmons?

  I don't like this.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Okay. Raiders Jets, fine.

• 57:13Bill Simmons?

  I will say I was very surprised by the Belichick Jordan Hudson announcement.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:17Bill Simmons?

  Because she's been on the sidelines. Like, I would have assumed they would have broken up by now, but she's been traveling to the games and stuff. So that made me think they were still together.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  That's for sure. Like, we.

• 57:30Bill Simmons?

  TMZ seemed pretty certain.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Is he the kind of guy you break up with and you're, you're good friends with him? Yeah, just, yeah, but still hang out. Hang out with me.

• 57:38Bill Simmons?

  Their business, they have a bunch of intertwining business relationships.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. That's right. 21st century relationship. Right.

• 57:47Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe those crazy kids couldn't make it. Raiders Jets. Vegas is four and four and minus 29 for the season.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:55Bill Simmons?

  Ashton Gentry is now a third down back. He had two carries today. He was the sixth pick in the draft. He's just not the running back anymore. Washington is, Bowers, 7 for 92, two touchdowns. And I was waiting for the Giants stadium turf to take them out for three hours. It just seemed, every time he was pulling three guys along, I was like, oh my God, this could be the worst. And with all that said, great win for the Raiders. And game of the day, it didn't start the day on my multi-view, but it ended on the multi-view. It was really good.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought I was gonna kick it to the side, the same thing. And I counted our texts on our football chain. They were close to 75 and none about the Raiders Jets, which before Denver KC was the game of the day. And yeah, you had good quarterback play, Cousins, three touchdowns, 247. Geno was good, too. Very even. The Jets actually had 100 more total yards. Braylon Allen's fun when he gets loose. I wanted to make a case for Vegas to make the playoffs at almost four to one. But at 49ers, Seahawks and at Broncos, the next three.

• 58:57Bill Simmons?

  And they've been dog shit against anybody who's decent.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  That's true. That is true.

• 59:02Bill Simmons?

  Is that Aaron Glenn's first coach fired music that I'm hearing in the background?

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 59:08Bill Simmons?

  Is that what I'm hearing? What, if you're a jet, like, I, we both know Jets fans. We've reached, I've seen enough with Aaron Glenn as a, as a head coach, I think. Like, it just, if it's a close game, you just know they're gonna lose.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm looking at their schedule and the, when this could actually happen.

• 59:28Bill Simmons?

  They better not hire Bob Chesney.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got to get him an interview.

• 59:36Bill Simmons?

  UCLA, by the way, this could be aggregated. I don't care. UCLA is going to extend Bob Chesney. That's in the works.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 59:44Bill Simmons?

  I know so.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Oh, you put in a call. Oh, okay. Nice.

• 59:48Bill Simmons?

  But the Bob Chesney extension will happen. So all the UCLA fans are starting to panic that because there, nobody went to the last game and the Rose Bowl is not packed enough. Some big university is going to scoop him or an NFL team.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Well, you gotta go to the Rose Bowl. You got to go.

• 1:00:02Bill Simmons?

  I went already. I saw, I saw them, I saw them, like their third game of the year.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Oh, you did go. That's right. That's right.

• 1:00:09Bill Simmons?

  No, I'm gonna go to the USC game.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Can you announce it's gonna be, that there's gonna be rewatchables there to get people seated in the stands or something? I don't know.

• 1:00:17Bill Simmons?

  We're doing Goodfellas rewatchables in section, section 20?

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  And people are like, oh, wait, there's a football game going on. This is nice, too.

• 1:00:24Bill Simmons?

  UCLA was irrelevant for 20 years with football. Like, this isn't gonna happen overnight.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  No, I'm with you.

• 1:00:29Bill Simmons?

  But this, I feel like.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  They were fifth in the coaches poll. They're fun. And they're 8-0 against the spread, which is all I care about. But they, um, this is just something that's going on with college football. Penn State didn't fill up, FSU, same kind of thing. Oklahoma didn't have fans. It's, it's very sad.

• 1:00:45Bill Simmons?

  It's tough when the stadium's not right there.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Bill Simmons?

  Is Penn State on the campus? I don't even know.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  Well, they have, when, when, when it's cooking, it's cooking with the whiteout and everything.

• 1:00:56Bill Simmons?

  I have, as you know, I didn't really have a college football team until this year. So I've been really into it. And have enjoyed the polls and finding out on Sundays, you figure somebody loses, so you move up.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:01:09Bill Simmons?

  I just want to throw my hat in the ring for how stupid the poll system is.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:01:15Bill Simmons?

  Like, God bless UCLA. They're really good. Chesney's one of the best coaches in the country. There's no way they're one of the five best teams in college football.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  No, you don't know that.

• 1:01:26Bill Simmons?

  Well, they, they've ascended because people dropped below them. But now this is heading toward them playing Michigan, USC, potentially the championship game in the league. And, you know, your losses come near the end and then you get dinged because they happen at the end instead of in the beginning. And this is fucking stupid.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  Well, where are you supposed to put them? I mean, if they lose to Michigan or USC, they'll free fall. Believe me, they're, they're, they're dying to drop them, but.

• 1:01:53Bill Simmons?

  I would, I would just not have rankings. I would have like a circle. I would have like a 12-team circle, but I would not rank them. I'd be like, they are now in the circle.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Maybe Mr. Beast could do this.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  It's his next giveaway. There you go.

• 1:02:14Bill Simmons?

  The, it's, look, they play Minnesota next week and it's gonna be a really hard game.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Minnesota's good this week.

• 1:02:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Minnesota almost won this week. I can't believe how much college football I'm watching.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  I just, I feel bad because I feel like the sport is like declining now. We're just, as you're getting in between like, I don't know, it just sucks that the prize should be, yeah, we have to win a title. We have to win a conference. And it's just that, those things don't seem to matter as much to players because of getting paid and because a conference championship doesn't matter and, and all sorts of shit.

• 1:02:45Bill Simmons?

  I was at, uh, we went over to my friend Howard's house because he was having a Halloween thing and trick or treaters.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:53Bill Simmons?

  So we went over yesterday and he was watching on the Multi-View the USC game. USC was beating, um, I'm blanking. He was upset.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Ohio State.

• 1:03:06Bill Simmons?

  Ohio State.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:08Bill Simmons?

  And then Belichick was battling Miami. So we had that in the Multi-View. I immediately made him turn off the Multi-View and put on the fourth quarter of game seven of the WNBA Finals.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:03:18Bill Simmons?

  And he thought it was a bit and then he realized it wasn't. And then he had a good time.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Wait, wait.

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  It was the first seventh game in WNBA history. We had to watch it.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  You can't put that in the Multi-View, right? Yeah, that's the one thing that sucks with the.

• 1:03:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, we ended up, we figured out how to finally put it in the Multi-View. So then everyone was happy. But then I, I kind of wanted the big screen for the last couple of minutes. Gabby Williams was on fire in the second half.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:03:40Bill Simmons?

  And then we got to see Kathy Engelbert, the worst commissioner of all time, come out and present the trophy. It was great stuff.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  It's like, thank you, Val Kilmer. You really did it this year.

• 1:03:49Bill Simmons?

  Say, thank you. I'm sorry I scheduled game six at 12:30 on Thursday.

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  Game six is in my basement next year.

• 1:03:56Bill Simmons?

  But man, you gotta hand it to Golden State, though. They, they've had the team two years.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:00Bill Simmons?

  The, the uniforms were great. They packed together these castoffs. They sold out every game. They stole a title. It was amazing stuff.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  It's a miracle. You should do a documentary on it for HBO. I dare you.

• 1:04:13Bill Simmons?

  Well, as it's happening, I'm like, holy shit, Golden State's about to win WNBA. USC is about to beat Ohio State and Belichick's gonna beat Miami.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was close.

• 1:04:24Bill Simmons?

  He couldn't, uh, carry his end of the bargain. But WNBA Finals, pretty good. Did you win or lose money in WNBA?

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Not bad. No, I lost, I lost the series before, so I didn't, I didn't bother.

• 1:04:34Bill Simmons?

  Golden State, they were like the Brewers. They were just in, in close games. They just got it done. And that was that. Did you, are you gonna win money when Aaron Glenn is the first coach fired or no?

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  I, it typically happens a couple of years, a couple of weeks after we cross them off, right?

• 1:04:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  All right. This could happen.

• 1:04:54Bill Simmons?

  They, they had, uh, 439 yards today. They lost. They, he's supposed to be a defensive coach who brings in defensive identity. They gave up 66 points in the last two weeks to Cousins and Willis. They got 142 rushing yards from, from Allen and they got 147 receiving from Mitchell and I think 90 from Wilson. And they lost. They had the lead late against Kirk Cousins. They lost.

• 1:05:23Bill Simmons?

  Will F. wrote in. He wants it to say Error Glenn instead of Aaron Glenn.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:05:29Bill Simmons?

  He's the shittiest coach in the league. I'm a long time listener, long, longer time suffering Jets fan. He may be the worst we've had.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:05:37Bill Simmons?

  Now, they had Rich Kotite. So Rich Kotite was the worst you had.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Bill Simmons?

  I think.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Right. Trying to think who else. So Wau Michael's is all right.

• 1:05:45Bill Simmons?

  The man Genius wasn't anything to write home about.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Right, yeah. They had a few. Had a few in there. Uh, and then at the Chiefs and they played the Bills. So it's not gonna get much better next couple of weeks.

• 1:05:57Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves. And the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association, Member, FDIC.

• 1:06:36Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Workday. Guessing is for game shows, not your business, especially when your margin for error is zero. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance, and IT with a deep understanding of your organization's context and guardrails. So every AI action is permission aware, giving you accuracy 24/7 and the ability to not just get work done, but get it done right. It's a new Workday.

• 1:07:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's time. We gotta talk about your stupid team.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought, I thought, I was like, there's like a 6% chance that he forgot and then we could just do Guess the Lines and that'll be that.

• 1:07:13Bill Simmons?

  I was saving it.

• 1:07:16Bill Simmons?

  The words, "Minshew magic never dies" were said by an announcer during this game. I, that might be true. I thought Minshew magic was dead. It was not. Why does Arizona own the Cowboys? What is this? You predicted this on the Ringer Wise Guys show this week.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  I did. I predicted an upset and then I was like, all right, I never pick upsets. I'll either be right about that or I'll be, my team will have one.

• 1:07:39Bill Simmons?

  But you were pretty adamant that this is, Arizona usually beats Dallas, weird things happen. And I like, this line's too high and this is stupid.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Eight out of the last nine and we just don't match up with them for whatever reason. It used to be Kyler Murray just kills us because he wanted Jerry World all the time. We've won a high school championship there, whatever, everything. So now you have, it's weird because you had Brissette in there and he was awful. Like, he was missing passes. Like, you were wondering.

• 1:08:07Bill Simmons?

  When they were gonna bring Minshew in. And I'm not gonna lie, like halfway through the game, I'm like, all right, we're gonna be four and four.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  We play the Colts next week.

• 1:08:13Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you started schedule math in your head?

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Only because those two teams might be the only ones we could beat. So I was like, we'll be five and four. I'll be in it. It'll be a meaningful Thanksgiving.

• 1:08:22Bill Simmons?

  Bad division.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:24Bill Simmons?

  Dumb Jerry trade coming up.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:08:26Bill Simmons?

  Some new guy. We, I don't know, we're gonna, is gunning the team who's coming.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  It's all adding up. And then we fall apart. Like Tyler Algier turns into Barry Sanders. F'ing Gardner Minshew comes in. I think it was 30 to 13. Comes in, comes in, wins the game. And I just thought, and I'm like, you know what? I think Jerry enjoys the torture. I think these old owners, they usually get tortured. They go through some S and M thing at the, whatever, apples of orchard, whatever the hell it is.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  But he doesn't hire a GM. He doesn't hire capable coaches. He makes sure the defense is, is abject embarrassment week after week. And people ask me like, was this the worst loss? And I don't know. And I don't think I have to answer because in three weeks, there's gonna be another worse loss. And he tolerates it, even though he wouldn't tolerate it in any other business of his that he's started to make a billion dollars, you know? Like, imagine if producer Cal, like, was screwing up this much. And you're like, Cal, you know, I know week three, Guess the Lines, there was a hissing noise in the audio. And then in week six, I could hear a, a bird chirping effect. And then in week eight, Sal and I sounded like we were on helium and you didn't catch it. But you know what? I'm gonna keep you around. No!

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  It doesn't happen like that. Why do we have these same shitheads? Fire the coaches, fire the friggin' defense, fire Cahill. Do it. We suck and we deserve, we deserve it all, Jerry.

• 1:09:49Bill Simmons?

  Can we keep Cahill? I love Cahill.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  All right, we can keep him. But enough. Like, I don't understand why he puts up with this. Why does he put up with it?

• 1:09:59Bill Simmons?

  Is it gonna be funnier when you hire Troy Aikman in like a month?

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  As a head coach?

• 1:10:04Bill Simmons?

  No, to run your team.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Well, he at least shows some emotion, I think.

• 1:10:11Bill Simmons?

  He certainly does. Apparently to the, to the behind the scenes producers at ESPN.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  It's proper emotion, I think, based on what's going on.

• 1:10:18Bill Simmons?

  You know, Andrew Marchand wrote a great piece about Buck and Aikman this weekend, and he had the back and forth of what happened with them.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:27Bill Simmons?

  And with like actual quotes of what they said to each other and made me wonder if they were miked. And because these were like actual quotes from each side. When they were not getting along and I wonder if they were miked and somebody wrote down the quotes.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  I don't know why, why didn't I catch this? What was it?

• 1:10:43Bill Simmons?

  He wrote a big feature about them on Friday about when Aikman and Buck had the blow up and Aikman was like. I can't believe you did that to me and they all these quotes back and forth when they got mad at each other and Buck was saying. You've been yelling at our producers and all the, all this stuff. It was all. All, uh, all stuff from the argument. I was like, Jesus.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:11:03Bill Simmons?

  But anyway, he's gonna be your next GM.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Fine. Next. First and only.

• 1:11:10Bill Simmons?

  I have a couple of things on this. One is the Cowboys hadn't blown a 14-point fourth quarter lead at home in 203 games.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  This was terrible.

• 1:11:17Bill Simmons?

  You were 202, 0 and 1 with a 14-point lead at home. Tomlin at halftime did this whole crazy thing about how the Cowboys are blinkers. Did you see this?

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  I didn't see it. No.

• 1:11:30Bill Simmons?

  He said they're blinkers. When, when it gets tight, they blink. And he's like, you gotta remove their eyelids. It was a Tomlin thing. I actually kinda liked it. But he said, you guys are blinkers.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:11:40Bill Simmons?

  Stop, stop blinking so much.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:43Bill Simmons?

  You see the, uh, it gets tense and just a lot of blinking. You need Mr. Beast in there. The, the funny thing is, so Minshew, they scored 28, Minshew comes in, they scored 28 points in the last 16 minutes.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  You say this funny thing. I'm, I bet I don't find this funny, but go ahead. Yeah.

• 1:11:59Bill Simmons?

  Minshew was 17 for 23 for 188, three touchdowns, uh, no interceptions.

• 1:12:06Bill Simmons?

  Ryland misses the PAT.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:10Bill Simmons?

  To win the game when it's gonna be 31-30 with no time left. And it's gonna go to OT and I thought you were gonna win. And I thought it was gonna be one of the funniest wins ever. And, uh, no, Arizona won it.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  It's so funny because we were so focused, you and I, on the Bengals game. I only halfway was paying attention to the, my Cowboys blowing it. Otherwise I might not be here if I had to like. Sit through that.

• 1:12:34Bill Simmons?

  Actually watch play by play.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I watched it all, but it just didn't really occur to me that they were gonna blow it. And then, you know. I, I just hate, this, this is now my number one pet peeve. Winning the toss and kicking off in overtime. You got a tired, shitty, shitty defense. I know they didn't score on the first drive, but. You could be damn sure they were gonna score on the second drive if they didn't. I don't know why. You don't take the ball in overtime. No rules.

• 1:13:01Bill Simmons?

  I think it's actually a fireable offense.

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:05Bill Simmons?

  Take the ball first. If you score whatever and like you come back and they score, then you get the ball. The third time, unless they go for two, either way, you've put more of an impetus on them and the only thing you have to do is. Basically not fuck up.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  You know, everybody talks about, it's the same thing with like going for two, which you and I are, are, we dug our heels with this. When you're down nine. Or what was it? Down.

• 1:13:33Bill Simmons?

  No, no, no. It's down 14. These teams.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:13:36Bill Simmons?

  That it happened. Maybe the Monday night game? Last Monday, you're down 14, you score. Now you're down eight, you go for two and you don't get it. It's like, well, now, now you have to do, do it again and it all evens out. It's like, how does that make sense?

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's, and they all say the same thing. And they said the same thing about kicking off in overtime. It's, you're, you're. It's, you're paying for information. That's what you're doing. You wanna see how much you need in the next drive. And it doesn't take into account, the crowd is dead if you miss the two-point conversion. Your defense sucks, you know, all, all this other stuff. It doesn't take, you're paying for information. Like, all right, you're paying too much, I think. For this dumb information.

• 1:14:18Bill Simmons?

  It was Carolina that did it. It was.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  Thursday night?

• 1:14:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. It was 27-19, I think. Yeah. And they went for the two-point. They have a five-foot-nine quarterback.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:14:32Bill Simmons?

  And they're on the road. It's like, definitely go for the two-point. That makes a ton of sense. They don't get it, but.

• 1:14:39Bill Simmons?

  The analytics say you should go for it. I don't get it at all. I will never understand it. I think it's fucking stupid. Just get, just, if you wanna go for two, do it the second time after, if you score two touchdowns against a more tired defense. And you cut it to one and instead of kicking a PAT, just go for the win. That makes more sense to me because. That defense has probably been on the field longer. But to just do it was like, well, if you get down six with four minutes left. Then you could win the game. Okay, cool. I could win the game at the end when I score a touchdown. I just wanna stay within seven.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  Here's the part of analytics, isn't there supposed to be a number that shows that, that this works? Because I feel like this never works. I feel like the team never gets the two-point conversion.

• 1:15:21Bill Simmons?

  Well, it also doesn't keep into account, like, yeah, I get doing it if I have like the lines. But if I'm the Panthers, I'm not, you know, and I'm in short yardage, I don't really love my, my situation. You know, like if the Patriots did it, I'd be like, all right, that makes a little more sense. I got Drake May, I can roll them out. I can do a QB draw. I've got Remandre, like I have Hunter Henry.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:44Bill Simmons?

  I still wouldn't do it, but I do think it's team dependent.

• 1:15:49Bill Simmons?

  Well, Minshew magic never dies and Dak Prescott has a no trade clause. I looked that up today.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, they're not getting rid of him. Yeah, they're keeping him.

• 1:15:59Bill Simmons?

  You keeping the coach?

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Son of a bitch. No, man. We get, we get these same guys over and over. I mean, he's such a Jerry guy and he's so. You know, ineffective. I, I, I don't, I don't know what. I don't know what to say anymore, honestly, but.

• 1:16:14Bill Simmons?

  I thought you did a good job. I enjoyed your rant.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:17Bill Simmons?

  Bengals Titans would have gotten a similar rant from me. The, the Bengals. You put them in a teaser or parlay and you should just know the first hour is gonna be hell. It's like being on a plane with a crying baby. You see the crying baby, you're like, this is next hour is gonna suck till this baby falls asleep.

• 1:16:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:16:34Bill Simmons?

  And that's the Bengals. You're just, this is gonna suck for an hour. You're gonna do dumb things. Borough, oh, oh, here's the dumb Borough pick. There you go. Oh, now here's the dumb fumble. Oh, there's the shot of Zach Taylor with a stupid look on his face. Oh, here are the announcers getting all excited and talking about how the Titans were huge underdogs. Like. I fucking know all the check marks. Can we get to the part when Borough just scores every time he has the ball? And then that's what happens and they get three straight touchdowns and they win and. And why do they do that to us?

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  I, I, I really don't know.

• 1:17:04Bill Simmons?

  We're just watching TV on a Sunday.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  What do we do? We have it on the last leg of our parlays, which we miraculously won Saturday and it's, it's the last thing that's holding over for a win. And that, that's what we did.

• 1:17:16Bill Simmons?

  I had them in multiple 10-point teases.

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  Everything. Yeah. Yeah. My kid was checking his fantasy scores. He came back from his Little League tournament and he says, uh. Wow, Joe Burrow had 53 fantasy points. I was like, yeah, he was terrible. And he says, he says, huh? What, what do you mean? I said, trust me. He threw three interceptions to the same dude. It's like, uh, like getting your lunch money stolen by the same kid three different times at recess, like.

• 1:17:40Bill Simmons?

  He was terrible and then he was awesome for an hour, for an hour, but it was against the Titans.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  It's unbelievable. What, what are his stats that he's now third in the MVP race? Did you see this?

• 1:17:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I saw that. Here's the irony in this game, which probably nobody watched but us and anyone else who bet on the Bengals. The Titans felt like they were gonna win the game before overtime. And they were near midfield and the Bengals didn't really do anything against them all day. They made Cam Ward, who I think is terrible, look as. Probably as competent as he's ever looked. And then he takes one of the worst sacks of the entire season.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:13Bill Simmons?

  On third down. He just goes backwards 15 yards and gets sacked and we go to overtime and that's it. The Bengals.

• 1:18:20Speaker 01

  When the Bengals scored with like a minute 15 left, I'm like, to, just to tie it. I was like, why had they, why even celebrate that? Why even celebrate it? You know, you're, it's, this is.

• 1:18:31Bill Simmons?

  Then they kick it in the end zone. Yep. Give it, give them the ball in the 35, one first down there midfield. That's what happens.

• 1:18:37Speaker 01

  First downs away from, uh, winning this game, but we, we got super, super lucky on that.

• 1:18:43Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee, five losses this year by six points or less leading the league.

• 1:18:49Bill Simmons?

  They're not awful. And I honestly, I don't think Miami's awful either. Like these are, the Chargers are worse than both of those teams. The Chargers, as soon as there's adversity, they just, they tank. They're done. They're out of the game. But Minnesota, Miami and Tennessee both at least like try to throw some punches.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  I do like teams that put up a fight in the second half and you're right. Chargers do not and these other teams, uh, do.

• 1:19:14Bill Simmons?

  Like Pollard was really good in that Bengals game and so is DK. Like.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Bill Simmons?

  You know, but.

• 1:19:20Speaker 01

  The Titans had a lot of guys out too, right? They just, they tate out and they just, they, I, I, I don't know. I wasn't afraid of them scoring points and then they did. They put it.

• 1:19:30Bill Simmons?

  I, I have chosen to not take the Bengals seriously at all in any capacity. And if they get to any sort of playoff situation, I will be excited to bet against them. Jags Colts is our last one and, uh.

• 1:19:44Bill Simmons?

  My only note was I would love to, uh, see Carly's notes for that game.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  What is she doing?

• 1:19:50Bill Simmons?

  Just WTF?

• 1:19:54Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:19:57Bill Simmons?

  I hope. Need new QB.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Maybe she's handwriting various trade offers like this is John Taylor. He's the least dysfunctional player in our organization. Please save this man's life. All I ask in return is a second, a fourth and a sixth for a seventh pick. Exo Carley.

• 1:20:14Bill Simmons?

  There was a big conspiracy theory that they already have a deal with the Seahawks and that McDonald that accidentally spoiled it.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  But why would they? Why would he play though?

• 1:20:22Bill Simmons?

  What you mean? It was price and a number one for.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:26Bill Simmons?

  Taylor, but they, I guess maybe they wanted to see if they won on Monday night first before they did the trade.

• 1:20:31Speaker 01

  But the Colts wouldn't play him at all. They wouldn't take that chance. That would be ridiculous.

• 1:20:36Bill Simmons?

  You're, you're telling me you're questioning the Colts? Like making a weird move?

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  She's not paying attention. I hope she's not writing a suicide note.

• 1:20:45Bill Simmons?

  Tooten, Tooten was great in this game.

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:49Bill Simmons?

  And the Jags wide receivers are now the fantasy is just done. Parker Washington, I just, I think he had one catch today. They, guys are scoring touchdowns in the Jags that I've never heard of. And the only guy who seems to be doing well is Trevor Lawrence.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  Well, Brian Thomas Jr. Actually caught a touchdown pass and it was, I think that was his only reception too.

• 1:21:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  They're weird.

• 1:21:11Bill Simmons?

  One thing to flag on this, the Jags got banged up in that game, including the D line. So against Baltimore, we haven't done the Lions yet, but they're, they're a little banged up going into that one.

• 1:21:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:21:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Okay, before we get to the guest alliance.

• 1:21:29Bill Simmons?

  Nash from New York City wrote in. He loves parent corner about my dad's TV habits. And he said, watching the late CBS game today, I saw again how heavy their ads are for procedural dramas. You and Cousin Sal asked each other if this would happen to you both as you age, just watching those shows, I think we will. I'd love for your son and iPod to eventually evolve into guess the plot. Where you have to guess between the cops, lawyers, perps, crime and location of the shows and then the crossover, crossover events would be like the parlay.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:22:02Bill Simmons?

  Thought we'd test it out today. I, I went and looked at the Wednesday lineup on CBS.

• 1:22:10Bill Simmons?

  Chicago Med.

• 1:22:14Bill Simmons?

  That, that episode is titled baptism by fire. What do you think, what do you think that one's about?

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  Uh, baptism by fire is a, a priest is collecting insurance money after baptizing kids and then causing, I don't know. What is it?

• 1:22:33Bill Simmons?

  That's not. Uh, the description is suspicions abound when a young injured boy and three burn victims are brought into the ED. Uh, semicolon. Sergeant Platt visits Gaffney to probe a cold case, semicolon. Frost gets some news. So I guess Frost might be the baptism by fire. Anyway, that's Chicago Med.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  What's the baptism part? I thought they'd be a little more clever with that.

• 1:22:56Bill Simmons?

  It's just a cool title.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  They have the word fire, so they have to.

• 1:22:59Bill Simmons?

  Okay, Chicago Fire is called 300. So I don't know if it's the 300th episode or maybe that's where the house is.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  Oh, this is a bowling scandal where a guy claims to have bowled a perfect game and the investigators look into it.

• 1:23:12Bill Simmons?

  That's not it. You're 0 for 2.

• 1:23:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:23:15Bill Simmons?

  Firehouse 51 responds to a complex hostage situation. Cruz continues to make strides and Chief Tomlin gives Severide an impossible task. There's a Chief Tomlin?

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Chief Tomlin arrested, arrested a guy for blinking too much.

• 1:23:33Bill Simmons?

  It says it's season 15, episode 5, so maybe this is the 300th episode.

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:23:38Bill Simmons?

  So out of those two, which one are you more excited for? Chicago Med or Chicago Fire out of those descriptions?

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  Neither, but the second one, I think.

• 1:23:46Bill Simmons?

  Chief Tomlin?

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think the Chief Tomlin, yeah.

• 1:23:48Bill Simmons?

  All right. And then Chicago PD, 10 o'clock. It's called dark imaginings. What do you think that's about?

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:23:57Bill Simmons?

  Dark imaginings.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  Well, that's.

• 1:24:00Bill Simmons?

  PD.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  When the wife is on vacation and I'm, uh, no, I don't know. I don't know what that.

• 1:24:05Bill Simmons?

  It just says Burgess takes on a risky undercover assignment while struggling to feel settled in her new home.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:24:12Bill Simmons?

  That's not doing it for me.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:24:14Bill Simmons?

  So I think the winner is Chicago Fire this week.

• 1:24:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:17Bill Simmons?

  That Chicago Fire is minus 150 for best episode of the week.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  But your dad watches all of them. He doesn't need.

• 1:24:22Bill Simmons?

  Oh, three in a row.

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  A sluglot to, uh, yeah.

• 1:24:24Bill Simmons?

  No, no. He's, he's, so that happened. Michael Mann shot himself at a, at a shooting range. I'm sure you saw that.

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  What the hell?

• 1:24:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so that happened as well.

• 1:24:34Speaker 01

  Plaxico.

• 1:24:35Bill Simmons?

  And then I caused a ruckus on Friday with talking about that the new Lakers owner group didn't have the money yet.

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:42Bill Simmons?

  And then they put out all these different pieces about they do have the money, but they didn't actually say they had the money. I see both sides. I think they're confident they are going to get the money. But I've talked to too many people who said they're still looking to find the remaining money to pay 12.5 billion dollars.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Well, who you've talked to, that's what everyone wants to know. Tell me who you've talked to.

• 1:25:01Bill Simmons?

  Talked to people.

• 1:25:04Bill Simmons?

  I think they probably will get the money, but I don't think they have it yet because too many people have been, uh, been shown the deck and offered it and offered a chance to get in.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Do you think?

• 1:25:14Bill Simmons?

  See what happens.

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  All right, you've seen the deck, so.

• 1:25:17Bill Simmons?

  I haven't seen the deck. The only thing I saw.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  You know what's in the deck. Yeah.

• 1:25:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's like, it's going to be the Lakers. We own the Lakers.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  You would say the, you would say this is a pass.

• 1:25:27Bill Simmons?

  12.5 billion?

• 1:25:28Speaker 01

  I mean, you're a businessman, yeah, at this point.

• 1:25:31Bill Simmons?

  Seems a little high.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:33Bill Simmons?

  I'd kind of want to own my own arena for 12.5. Week nine guest alliance. Anyway, I stand by what I said. Week nine guest alliance.

• 1:25:42Bill Simmons?

  Thursday night.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  We're all, we're, uh, wait, we're 3-3 and 2? Is that where, uh?

• 1:25:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I was, I was killing you. And then Oxy Cousin came in and won the last two and you've been on fire. People are worried that you're just, now that you've been on fire with the picks and guest alliance, like this is just going to be the new you. It's like Bradley Cooper, the limitless drugs. Like the kidney stones will be gone. You'll still be like, oh no, I gotta.

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  I think it's going to be like.

• 1:26:08Bill Simmons?

  I have a process now.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  Who was the Breaking Bad character? Like I'm going to be on so much of this oxy that I'm not going to be able to speak. But the, the, uh, the guy that hit, would hit the bell.

• 1:26:18Bill Simmons?

  You're gonna be like, all right, Sal, the, uh, the Bengals at the Falcons. I'm like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. All right, Sal says six and a half. What was his name? Sal, Salamanko or something?

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  I, I guarantee Netflix won't, that'll be when Netflix is like, we're good. You guys are on your own again.

• 1:26:36Bill Simmons?

  Jags home, oh no, Ravens home for the Jags. So I, I'm revoking my initial guess on this.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:43Bill Simmons?

  And I'm going to say Jags minus three and a half.

• 1:26:46Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. I thought this one would be the one I lose. Because I said five and a half. And it's eight and a half.

• 1:26:55Bill Simmons?

  In Baltimore?

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  In Baltimore.

• 1:26:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  On a Thursday? Jacksonville minus eight and a half. So that means the third string, Fagnano is in for sure.

• 1:27:06Bill Simmons?

  Joey?

• 1:27:07Speaker 01

  No, our, our guy Joey F, yeah.

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  That makes sense, right?

• 1:27:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I, I.

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  Guess it does.

• 1:27:19Bill Simmons?

  I never know what to do with these Thursday games because it's such a, and the Jags are banged up. I don't know. Well, Bengals and Falcons are playing in Spain.

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  This one I had exactly.

• 1:27:33Bill Simmons?

  I had Bengals by three.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  I should've said three and a half. So I get that one.

• 1:27:37Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Oxy Cousin is killing me.

• 1:27:39Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 1:27:40Bill Simmons?

  Fucking beating. Sunday marquee game, Patriots home.

• 1:27:48Bill Simmons?

  For the Packers.

• 1:27:49Speaker 01

  It's a good one.

• 1:27:51Bill Simmons?

  Really good game.

• 1:27:53Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:27:53Bill Simmons?

  10, 10 wins between these two teams, two good quarterbacks.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:27:57Bill Simmons?

  So is this a Fox game or a CBS game, you think?

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  Um, well, let's say.

• 1:28:01Bill Simmons?

  Could we get Brady for this?

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  Oh, it's probably a Fox, yeah.

• 1:28:05Bill Simmons?

  Is it, uh, does it say on there?

• 1:28:09Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, Fox. I wonder if this is, this is going to be Tom Brady.

• 1:28:12Speaker 01

  Oh, he's got to do it.

• 1:28:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, let's go. Brady's been great this year. A plus. I like when he gets excited on plays and, and steps on Burkhart, but it's not like in a bad way. It's actually like adds to the excitement. It's really good. He's been great.

• 1:28:28Bill Simmons?

  I have the Pats minus three and a half.

• 1:28:30Speaker 01

  Uh, what happened here? Do we split this? I had one and a half, it's two and a half.

• 1:28:35Bill Simmons?

  Yep, we split it.

• 1:28:38Bill Simmons?

  We split it because two and a half is between three and a half and one and a half.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  Okay, all right.

• 1:28:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  I got it. I think this team is good, this Packers team. We didn't talk about it because it was a Thursday game. The only thing they don't do is run the ball. I, I love everything else they do, honestly. Pass rush, quarterback's good. They, they get, they hit the long pass. It's similar to your team actually, but.

• 1:29:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:00Speaker 01

  His guys drop a lot too, so.

• 1:29:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I was going to say their offense would be even better if Golden dropped two a game.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:29:07Bill Simmons?

  So that, there's a Jacobs piece to this that I don't think he's playing in this game.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:29:11Bill Simmons?

  Cause all that stuff came out about him this weekend. I just assume he's probably.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Pretty messy.

• 1:29:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And I didn't think he was good on Thursday night. I mean, he, he had a bunch of carries, but didn't really do anything anyway. So that'll be helpful to the Patriots. Patriots are pretty banged up though. I mean, this is, this AJ Brown thing.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:31Bill Simmons?

  Trade first round pick for this guy. And then Elliot Wolf, the GM, even though Vrabel runs the team is like, oh yeah, we knew, we knew about his degenerative knee condition.

• 1:29:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:29:43Bill Simmons?

  Degenerative knee condition?

• 1:29:46Bill Simmons?

  I don't remember that one coming up in the press conference.

• 1:29:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:29:49Bill Simmons?

  Right? He said two different injuries. He looked terrible in the Bears game and didn't look like he could run. They decided to smartly sit him this week, but I don't.

• 1:29:57Speaker 01

  He drops passes too. Is that, does that have a lot to do with the knee? It just seemed like he wasn't.

• 1:30:02Bill Simmons?

  And then Hunter Henry, Hunter Henry got hurt today.

• 1:30:04Speaker 01

  That was bad.

• 1:30:04Bill Simmons?

  He had a foot injury. And their offensive line's a little shaky, but the defense is good.

• 1:30:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:30:10Bill Simmons?

  This will be a good game. Watchables, I only had one, Niners Raiders.

• 1:30:16Bill Simmons?

  Little Bay area battle. It's in San Francisco.

• 1:30:21Bill Simmons?

  I have the Niners minus seven.

• 1:30:22Speaker 01

  Wow, I went again. Eight and a half for me and it's nine and a half.

• 1:30:28Bill Simmons?

  No, that's too high. Disagree with that.

• 1:30:33Bill Simmons?

  Well, Raiders can throw the ball and play from behind.

• 1:30:39Bill Simmons?

  On the other hand, the Raiders haven't come close to beating any good teams.

• 1:30:41Speaker 01

  Raiders could Raider. Niners off a bye, right? Wait, the Niners in place.

• 1:30:45Bill Simmons?

  Niners off a bye.

• 1:30:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:47Bill Simmons?

  Some extra time against the electromagnetic building.

• 1:30:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:30:52Bill Simmons?

  Get right next to that thing. Fairly watchable, they got five. Chiefs, Jets. Could this be Aaron Glenn's last game? Maybe we'll never have an Aaron Glenn's last game. Chiefs, Jets in Kansas City. Chiefs coming off a nice little joke job today. I have Chiefs minus seven.

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  I said seven and a half and it is nine and a half. Oh, you're fucking. I'm boxing you out.

• 1:31:16Bill Simmons?

  I'm done.

• 1:31:17Speaker 01

  Killing me. Kevin McCall in the shit out of you here. This is nice.

• 1:31:22Bill Simmons?

  I gotta be honest, I didn't put a lot of time into guess the lines this week.

• 1:31:25Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:31:26Bill Simmons?

  I forgot to send them the Gahow and then we were having Ben's birthday dinner and I was doing it on my iPhone as I was.

• 1:31:32Speaker 01

  How many birthday dinners you have for Ben?

• 1:31:34Bill Simmons?

  Well, this was the, today's his actual birthday.

• 1:31:36Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:31:37Bill Simmons?

  So we, we just, my wife made food and we had a cake, but um, I kinda slapped together my guess the line guesses and you can really see the results.

• 1:31:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, did you spend a lot of time?

• 1:31:46Bill Simmons?

  To my fans.

• 1:31:47Speaker 01

  You spent a lot of time coming up with excuses or?

• 1:31:49Bill Simmons?

  Well, honestly, I, I didn't think I'd win today because Oxy cousin is, is one of the great gambling forces.

• 1:31:55Speaker 01

  I mean, you gotta blame your kids for losing that guess the lines, that's sad, that's as low as it gets, I think.

• 1:32:00Bill Simmons?

  Well, gotta do what you gotta do. Chiefs minus nine and a half, dying to be thrown in a seven point tease.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, they can't blow this.

• 1:32:13Bill Simmons?

  Giants, Eagles in Philly.

• 1:32:16Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I bet, I, I sent this pick in before I saw the game.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  Gotta change it, I don't care.

• 1:32:23Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna bump it up, I had one and a half, I'm gonna bump it up to two and a half.

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  Wait, why don't I say it?

• 1:32:29Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna Giants at Philly, I have Giants minus two and a half at Philly.

• 1:32:33Speaker 01

  Uh. It is, uh, we split it, it's plus three and I said three and a half, right?

• 1:32:41Bill Simmons?

  Yep.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:45Bill Simmons?

  Nice little spot for JJ.

• 1:32:48Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:32:48Bill Simmons?

  You're gonna beat me. Rams at Washington, I feel like they play every year and I feel like we've already seen this game. It's in Washington.

• 1:32:58Speaker 01

  I hit this exact, try to get this exact.

• 1:33:00Bill Simmons?

  All the makings of, of Rams fucking over everybody in their brother game and losing. I have Rams minus four.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  Five and a half, which is what I had.

• 1:33:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  Wow, this is just easy.

• 1:33:12Bill Simmons?

  I know. It's Ben's fault, he shouldn't have turned 19.

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  Poor Ben.

• 1:33:18Bill Simmons?

  Broncos at Carolina, I think this is gonna be yet another home dog, so how many is this now?

• 1:33:23Speaker 01

  There's a lot.

• 1:33:24Bill Simmons?

  So third in a row.

• 1:33:26Bill Simmons?

  I tic tac this, Broncos minus one and a half.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Hmm, I said three, it's two and a half.

• 1:33:32Bill Simmons?

  Wow, you gonna shut me out?

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  I think, did you have one?

• 1:33:37Bill Simmons?

  No, you're right.

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be great, I don't think I've ever done that.

• 1:33:40Bill Simmons?

  Kobe told me to let you win every week, cuz we're both worried about your physical.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 1:33:46Bill Simmons?

  Mostly.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  I don't, I'll take the pity wins, I don't care what form they come in.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  Kid, did we, did you, did you beat Clever?

• 1:33:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we beat him.

• 1:33:59Bill Simmons?

  Seahawks, Cardinals, I think I got this wrong too.

• 1:34:04Bill Simmons?

  It's in Seattle.

• 1:34:07Bill Simmons?

  Who knows, Jonathan Taylor might be on the Seahawks, I have Seahawks minus six and a half.

• 1:34:11Speaker 01

  Oh, man, wow, Simmons. I had 10 and a half and that's what it is.

• 1:34:19Bill Simmons?

  I told you, it wasn't my week.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  Cardinals beat the Cowboys and that's it.

• 1:34:21Bill Simmons?

  I put no thought into these.

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Don't forget.

• 1:34:26Speaker 01

  Ooh, can I run the table here, this would be fun, all right, how many more?

• 1:34:29Bill Simmons?

  Two, three.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  We got five more.

• 1:34:32Bill Simmons?

  Poop facta.

• 1:34:33Speaker 01

  Six more, yep.

• 1:34:35Bill Simmons?

  Cowboys at the Colts.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  Uh, you had to ruin it.

• 1:34:39Bill Simmons?

  I threw this right in the Vegas zone, Cowboys minus four and a half.

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  That's what I had too, it's five and a half.

• 1:34:45Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  Stupid, stupid ass team. What a nice chance this would have been.

• 1:34:53Bill Simmons?

  Lions at Miami, golf outdoors.

• 1:34:57Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:34:57Bill Simmons?

  You don't like your pick for this.

• 1:35:00Bill Simmons?

  You can tell in your face.

• 1:35:00Speaker 01

  I did, okay, I did, okay.

• 1:35:03Bill Simmons?

  I have Lions minus six.

• 1:35:05Speaker 01

  I said seven and a half, it's seven. Let's go.

• 1:35:09Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:35:10Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 1:35:11Bill Simmons?

  Minus seven.

• 1:35:14Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I hit this one, Saints, Browns.

• 1:35:17Speaker 01

  This is where you got me.

• 1:35:18Bill Simmons?

  In New Orleans. I tic tac'd it, Saints minus one and a half.

• 1:35:23Speaker 01

  I said one and a half too.

• 1:35:25Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:35:26Speaker 01

  But I said the Browns minus one and a half.

• 1:35:28Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:35:29Speaker 01

  You're right, it's three, it's Saints minus three.

• 1:35:32Bill Simmons?

  Is that right though? That's right, five and three team, I know the Browns aren't great, but five and three on the road? Saints off a bye, they have the rookies coming back, Tyson.

• 1:35:43Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:35:44Bill Simmons?

  Who I've had on two fantasy teams, just hogging a roster spot for two solid months.

• 1:35:50Speaker 01

  Isn't this a poor man's version of what happened with the line between the Vikings and Lions? Like the best, the team with the better record was on the road. I don't know, it shouldn't be three. Okay.

• 1:36:02Bill Simmons?

  Texans at the Chargers.

• 1:36:06Bill Simmons?

  I have a PSA after we guess these lines.

• 1:36:11Bill Simmons?

  I put this in the Vegas zone as well, Texans minus four and a half.

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got that one, that's exactly what it is, I said two.

• 1:36:18Bill Simmons?

  All right. It's time for my PSA.

• 1:36:21Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 1:36:23Bill Simmons?

  We all love gambling, we love football. Every week is a special week, Thursday, Sunday, Monday, the Europe games and sometimes it's fun to either pick the games or have wagers on them.

• 1:36:36Bill Simmons?

  Please don't wager on the Texas Chargers game. Don't put the Texans in a parlay, don't tease the Chargers backwards. Don't do anything, teases, parlays, don't assume you know what's gonna happen. Don't make a case for either team, don't feel safe at any time, don't bet this during the game, completely stay away, thank you.

• 1:36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's tied off, I'm Bill Simmons.

• 1:36:58Bill Simmons?

  I'm Bill Simmons.

• 1:36:59Speaker 01

  This was Chicago Hope, I don't know, yeah.

• 1:37:01Bill Simmons?

  Hashtag, hashtag FD partner.

• 1:37:05Speaker 01

  I approve that message, I'm not taking this.

• 1:37:08Bill Simmons?

  Please, that, who? Out of the Ringer 107 crew, who is, who is taking this one?

• 1:37:13Speaker 01

  The only thing, a- as I look at it, I would probably get stuck with the Chargers money line again, is my man's best bet, is the underdog. And then I expect to lose.

• 1:37:26Bill Simmons?

  Sunday night, pretty good game, Chicago Bears home for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And Baker Mayfield, who had zero completions today.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:37:36Bill Simmons?

  I have Bears minus four and a half.

• 1:37:38Speaker 01

  Uh, I got it exactly, five and a half.

• 1:37:45Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:37:46Bill Simmons?

  I have a Bears Super Bowl ticket.

• 1:37:48Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:37:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  Well, then you gotta like the Bears here.

• 1:37:52Bill Simmons?

  I have them at 14 to one and it's 10 to one now.

• 1:37:54Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 1:37:56Bill Simmons?

  I, I think they are the best team in the NFC.

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  You just cursed them for tomorrow, but.

• 1:38:02Bill Simmons?

  Well, but that's the thing, the team that you think is the best team in week eight is never ultimately the best team, but right now I think they're the best bet. Monday night, Bills Vikings in Minnesota, we have no idea who the quarterback for the Vikings is gonna be.

• 1:38:17Bill Simmons?

  Crowd will be crazy, crowd will be a little restless the moment it starts going badly for the Minnesota offense. I didn't wanna go to three on this, I did Bills minus two and a half.

• 1:38:27Speaker 01

  We split this, I said three and a half, it is three.

• 1:38:30Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  So I win the week.

• 1:38:32Bill Simmons?

  This is good though, this is the.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  You're winning now. Bolts, oh wow, 4-3-2 after nine weeks, nice. Um. Yeah, both six and one, this should be a bigger deal, this game, no?

• 1:38:46Bill Simmons?

  It's a pretty good game.

• 1:38:47Speaker 01

  Did we, um, you saw Larry Zonka, remember the 72 Dolphins?

• 1:38:51Bill Simmons?

  I sent it to you.

• 1:38:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's doing the champagne and uh, like.

• 1:38:55Bill Simmons?

  I didn't even occur to me that he was sweating out the 6-0 Viking start, was he really thinking Kyler Murray was gonna go 20-0?

• 1:39:02Speaker 01

  I don't know what he's thinking, I don't know if any of these guys are doing any thinking, but what, how, what is this gonna look like in like? Eight years, God willing, are they gonna be doing like?

• 1:39:12Bill Simmons?

  Is anyone left?

• 1:39:13Speaker 01

  Intravenously, IV tubes, feeding them champagne? This is intra, they're getting up there, 72, so if you were 25 in 72, 54, your best bet, you're like 80, right? Yeah.

• 1:39:28Bill Simmons?

  There's gotta, there'll be three guys left in five years, but it'll be like the backup nose tackle, it'll be like.

• 1:39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hang on, fellas, parody's here.

• 1:39:37Bill Simmons?

  So long ago, 1972, I saw this thing today, that guy Kevin Gallagher, who's got a good Twitter feed, he had a thing about Don Shula's return to Baltimore after Don Shula in 1970.

• 1:39:49Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:39:50Bill Simmons?

  Left, controversially left Baltimore to go with the Miami, basically did the Pat Riley before Pat Riley, went to Miami, got a small piece of the team. Became the GM and coach of Miami, everyone in Baltimore was outraged by it, he went back and they beat him and he was like being booed the whole game. And I was thinking like, I thought I knew everything about football, I didn't, I somehow had forgotten that story or whatever, and then you start thinking of all this stuff from 60s, 70s, all these great people that we don't talk about anymore, the 72 Dolphins going undefeated and you realize that none of this stuff matters, you're just dying to go away.

• 1:40:25Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:40:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:27Speaker 01

  That's another, how many great PS7s?

• 1:40:31Bill Simmons?

  It's just, someday, Don Shula, it was a big deal in 1970 that he left Baltimore, now nobody cares.

• 1:40:37Speaker 01

  That's why you gotta get on this Val Kilmer documentary for Golden State, cuz eventually, in like three, in three days, no one's gonna care.

• 1:40:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Uh, Joe wrote in wondering. He didn't feel like there was an obvious Chris Myers game of the week on the schedule this week.

• 1:40:56Bill Simmons?

  And I disagree because Saints Browns looks perfect.

• 1:41:01Speaker 01

  Oh, for this week coming up? Yeah.

• 1:41:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah. Saints Browns looks great. I think Broncos Panthers feels a little Chris Myers ish.

• 1:41:09Speaker 01

  We're not caring about if one's Fox or CBS, just any, uh, yeah.

• 1:41:14Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, that would be a CBS game.

• 1:41:16Speaker 01

  Probably, yeah.

• 1:41:17Bill Simmons?

  Saints Brown seems perfect. Oh, would Browns, but the Browns would be the.

• 1:41:21Speaker 01

  He could get a shot at, uh, one of these overseas games, I think.

• 1:41:27Bill Simmons?

  Just send him over?

• 1:41:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:29Bill Simmons?

  Let him travel?

• 1:41:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Bill Simmons?

  Seahawks Cards? Does that feel Chris Myersy?

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  See the world. I'm telling you, any Cowboys, Cowboys Colts, let him, let him have at it.

• 1:41:39Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a three, one series lead, but what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun, one, two, three Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save, savings vary. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off.

• 1:42:19Bill Simmons?

  Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with the experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Opening US residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026, ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details.

• 1:42:50Bill Simmons?

  Parent Corner, what do you got?

• 1:42:52Speaker 01

  Uh, real quick, my son, the Pittsburgh fan walks in coming back from the bar, right? He watches with all his Pittsburgh fans, uh, holding his terrible towel and the Steelers jersey and cap. And he sees me after he seemed to demolish the Browns, he sees me distraught because that's right when the field goal went through. And he apologizes, like, he looks at me, he's like, as if our podcast was canceled or something. He felt bad that he was the big winner and I lost and I laughed. That was the first moment I laughed and I was like, it's fine. You always want better for your kids, so it's good. Congratulations on the Steelers. But my real, uh, parent corner, a little more serious, involves my father who turned 85 in August.

• 1:43:34Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:43:34Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:43:35Bill Simmons?

  Vinny.

• 1:43:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. Big Vin had some heart issues and so we convinced him to sell his boat, which he loved taking out, right? So he wants to sell it, but he gets it, uh, he has to fix it up a little bit, right? And, uh, he gets it, uh, he finds this guy, the harbor recommended him or something to do the handiwork on it.

• 1:43:55Bill Simmons?

  Uh oh.

• 1:43:55Speaker 01

  And he gives him all this money to fix the boat in like February. And then he asks about it in March and every week the guy's like, yeah, yeah, give me another week. I'll get it to you. And this goes on for months. This goes on to like June and then like finally the guy's like, yeah, well you can come see it. I mean, you'll see that I'm still working on it. So he gives my father an address and it's an abandoned lot. And then he stops taking my father's calls and now like I have to get involved and now the cops are involved. And, you know, they do what they can, but they can't locate this guy because now he's not answering his phone, right? And he's not anywhere. So, so they think that he might either be chartering the boat or he sold it, you know?

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  So, um, at this point, like I write it up, I'm like, all right, this has got to be an insurance thing. This is a stolen boat, so I'm going to get involved because I know he's going to have to do a lot of paperwork and stuff. So I submit all these, you know, you have to put it in the file. They send you a link and everything and we submit everything, every communication, everything. And, uh, well, like it's stolen at this point and we put the police report in there and the insurance guy's like, well, this is an embezzlement case. It says a possible embezzlement. I was like, okay, whatever. It's like, well, it's not theft. Cause he entrusted the guy, because he gave it to, it wasn't like the guy stole it from the slip, you know what I mean? Like he went in there, he entrusted him with it and then it was taken. I was like, yeah, but at some point

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  a reasonable person would see that this is stolen, right? Like even though he entrusted him, like if we're talking five years from now, you're still going to say this boat's not stolen and he wouldn't give it back and can't buy it? So yeah, we can't cover him because he's only covered for theft. So my father's hot, like he is beside himself. Like worse than today when the Cowboys decided to chose to kick in overtime. So, and I'm worried about him now and my wife is. And he's capable of like, I don't know what, like if you read on TMZ, a cousin Sal's father's a suspect in a manslaughter case. It's probably true. I'm telling you now. So, um, I don't know what the fuck to think, uh, or do at this point. The cops have been pretty helpful, but this, this stinks.

• 1:46:01Speaker 01

  And he, he wants his money back and this will haunt him for the rest of his life, which I don't know how long it is, but it's, it's fricking crazy. It's, it's crazy. It's brought us together. We're closer for it, but only in our outrage. So.

• 1:46:18Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:46:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:19Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe that story.

• 1:46:20Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:46:23Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what.

• 1:46:23Bill Simmons?

  That should be Manhattan Beach PD on NBC on Wednesday. Hey.

• 1:46:28Speaker 01

  That'd be a long write-up, but, uh,

• 1:46:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, uh, it sucks, man.

• 1:46:33Bill Simmons?

  God damn it. Poor 85 year old Vinny.

• 1:46:37Speaker 01

  You know what? I'm going to give this fucker's name out. It's Jesus Ramirez and, uh, I don't know, it's tough to locate out here, probably. Like finding a John Smith in Colonial, Virginia, but, uh, fuck this guy.

• 1:46:52Bill Simmons?

  That's terrible. Stealing from an 85 year old man.

• 1:46:54Speaker 01

  Awful.

• 1:46:58Bill Simmons?

  Poll results, by the way, uh, should we cross out the Cowboys? Yes, 56%. No, 44%.

• 1:47:06Speaker 01

  It's coming.

• 1:47:08Bill Simmons?

  Parent Corner, uh, my daughter's soccer career is over.

• 1:47:12Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:47:13Bill Simmons?

  They, they lost the last game that would have gotten, it was the year from hell, all these injuries. She was hurt. She's got something wrong with her foot. She's had for six weeks. She's getting an MRI this week. Of course, of course, her kicking foot, but it was just one of those years. Everything went wrong. And, uh, and that's it. So a 17 year odyssey. I need a new something now.

• 1:47:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:37Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I, am I going to have to coach now? What do I need something? I need a side, side youth slash high school slash college sports, something. This was really fun. I had a great run. My daughter was.

• 1:47:49Speaker 01

  How was she with it? Is she okay that it's over or?

• 1:47:52Bill Simmons?

  You know, it was really sad today. She was just kind of like, wow, like this is done.

• 1:47:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:47:57Bill Simmons?

  This was like such a huge part of my life for, you know, basically her entire life. And now it's like, okay, now, now it happens. All right. I'll figure out the next couple of things to be, she's going to start playing tennis. She's got to see what's wrong with her foot first, but, um, but she's going to just throw herself in other stuff, but yeah.

• 1:48:16Speaker 01

  I figured it out. I, I know what this could be for you. I know, I know it. It's so easy.

• 1:48:20Bill Simmons?

  Coach like an eighth grade basketball team or something?

• 1:48:22Speaker 01

  Whatever. You, you could just go watch.

• 1:48:24Bill Simmons?

  Adopt? Adopt the kid?

• 1:48:26Speaker 01

  That, that couldn't hurt either. You could watch Ben play special teams for UCLA.

• 1:48:33Bill Simmons?

  It's just, just.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  He owes you. Chesney, Kenny Chesney owes you, whatever his name is. He fricking owes you. Why not?

• 1:48:41Bill Simmons?

  You don't think I can coach like a eighth grade basketball team out here or something? I need something, I need some extra thing.

• 1:48:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:48Bill Simmons?

  I might, I might.

• 1:48:48Speaker 01

  I don't know if you have the time for that though. You're busy.

• 1:48:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that'd be, time would be a problem.

• 1:48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:54Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. Just like if you observe, UCLA plays once a week.

• 1:48:58Bill Simmons?

  So the other option is Zoe could potentially maybe become a coach of a team.

• 1:49:03Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:49:03Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that's like she becomes an assistant on a, you know, start out and, but I don't know if she wants to do that. I think I'm just done too. I think it's just, that's it. Yeah. Just never, four years in college, never, that never came together with the right. The team the year before she got there made the playoff, made the actual div three playoffs.

• 1:49:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:49:23Bill Simmons?

  And this one, they could just never have a season where everything came together.

• 1:49:27Speaker 01

  Poor kid. That sucks. I mean, it makes you think when, when people retire at like 30 and 35, it's like, shit.

• 1:49:32Bill Simmons?

  It did make me think like, granted she's a D3 soccer player, but it did make you think like this void you get when it's finally over. You can understand why these people are crying on the, you know, and the, at the press conference when they're announcing, you know, because it's like, shit, I just put all this time into it and I got what I got out of it. Now what do I do?

• 1:49:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's, well, now, you know, you could help me and my father try to locate Jesus Ramirez.

• 1:49:57Bill Simmons?

  Could do that.

• 1:50:00Bill Simmons?

  I'm not worried about her. She's a rock star.

• 1:50:02Speaker 01

  Good for her.

• 1:50:03Bill Simmons?

  She'll have, she'll have good stuff going. But yeah, no, it was a good run. And the big, I got in a silver lining mode today and I was like, you know, could it, like playing striker, like she could have had a really bad head to head collision. You know, she could have like completely blown out something. And so we, we got it like relatively unscathed.

• 1:50:20Speaker 01

  I mean, listen, how many of the best parenting mo, uh, moments did she provide in her career for you? Dozens, right?

• 1:50:28Bill Simmons?

  Really fun. It's, it's the most, especially for us who we both love sports.

• 1:50:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:33Bill Simmons?

  When it's your own flesh and blood playing sports, you're going to root for that the most.

• 1:50:37Speaker 01

  It's incredible.

• 1:50:37Bill Simmons?

  You know?

• 1:50:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:38Bill Simmons?

  So, um, anyway, that's it. Congrats Zoe, great career. Um, that's it for Parent Corner. Exciting. We have Jesus Ramirez and Zoe on Parent Corner this week.

• 1:50:51Bill Simmons?

  Any NBA stuff before we go that got you excited?

• 1:50:54Speaker 01

  You got me excited. We, we shit on the Warriors and that's all we had to do and they went three and O this week.

• 1:51:00Bill Simmons?

  This Yakso things, I can't, I honestly can't believe it.

• 1:51:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:05Bill Simmons?

  Now he's 24, so it makes more sense, but to have him and Boozer come into the league and be like these actual impact guys right away is like the single most unusual thing that can happen with rookies.

• 1:51:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:51:18Bill Simmons?

  Boozer's, I think, four years younger than Yakso, but these guys, Yakso's like, has a chance to be an All-Star. Like, that's how good he's been. And I think he's invigorated them. Like, they didn't even play Curry tonight, and they still won.

• 1:51:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:51:31Bill Simmons?

  And then Boozer, the Grizzlies are 6-0, but this rookie class is really special.

• 1:51:36Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know who we can jinx next, but now's the time. The only thing, other numbers I was looking at, OKC 55-plus is still plus 115. So, my God, isn't that high now at this point?

• 1:51:51Bill Simmons?

  It's too high.

• 1:51:52Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:51:52Bill Simmons?

  The league's wide open. I feel really, really good about the Celtics. And I think, in general, like, San Antonio is now the mountain to climb, I think, in the two conferences, because OKC's been compromised. But, you know, San Antonio's still a young team, they still have crunch time stuff, who knows with Wemby's health. Like, this is a, if, if I'm like, any of 12 teams, I feel like I have a chance this year.

• 1:52:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:18Bill Simmons?

  Because OKC was gonna just wax everybody, and that's just not happening.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  Well, the other thing I was gonna say, as long as we have the Celtics, we're talking about the Celtics. Tatum, the clutch player of the year, is 6-1. Now, I already lost this bet, because I bet SGA after Williams got hurt. I'm like, you know what? Maybe they have a handful more close games, and he's frickin' great in the fourth quarter, makes every free throw, he's at the line. But now Tatum's favored at 6-1. That could be something.

• 1:52:44Bill Simmons?

  I like it. He's also 10-1 for MVP. The weird MVP one is Maxey at 50-1. I don't know why his odds are so high.

• 1:52:51Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:52:52Bill Simmons?

  Maxey's been one of the best five or six guys in the league, and he's been huge in these games, especially down the stretch. And in general, I don't know what to make of Philly, but they've, over and over again in the last five minutes a game, taken care of business, gotten stops, and gotten good shots. And at some point, you got to start taking it really seriously. Like, from a team future standpoint, they had the third-best odds now to win the title.

• 1:53:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:53:20Bill Simmons?

  Which seems crazy to me, but, like, LeBron was the best player on the court the other night, other than Maxey.

• 1:53:26Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:53:27Bill Simmons?

  And when you think, like, he's on a minimum contract, and it's like, well, he's 42, he can't keep doing this. But as a $4 million a year guy with all the other stuff they have, and then you watch at the end of games when he's doing LeBron stuff, which he can still do, it's, it's, it's, it's better than I thought it was gonna be. I'll say that.

• 1:53:47Speaker 01

  I was looking at them to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals. It's almost 2-1. Because, what is that, two series they'd win?

• 1:53:55Bill Simmons?

  Well, you know, you look at the rest of the conference, Kawhi's already hurt.

• 1:53:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:00Bill Simmons?

  Cavs, I think the Cavs are, I think they have a chance to be really good, too. I've been, you know, it's super early, but the Cavs would be the other one. Indiana's already had a bunch of entries. But the Celtics are 5-1, and the one game they lost, they're up by 22 in the third quarter.

• 1:54:15Speaker 01

  Oh, look at you.

• 1:54:16Bill Simmons?

  So.

• 1:54:16Speaker 01

  Look at you. They got you. They reeled you in.

• 1:54:19Bill Simmons?

  No, you know who did reel me in was Paul George.

• 1:54:22Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:54:23Bill Simmons?

  Paul George has looked great. Like, just flat-out great, seems super happy, loves being like a complimentary player, has been really good. All right, anything to plug?

• 1:54:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you had a bad beat with Lamar going out early, I hope you took advantage of BetProtect on FanDuel. And don't forget, if you're on the losing end of the asshole Cowboys or the Chiefs money line, you're eligible for $100 reimbursement. Send your proof to betaches.com. And, yeah, did you have a bet ache, Simmons? Maybe I'll send you $100. No, you want, we want our, everything of its close.

• 1:54:55Bill Simmons?

  I have bet two months of bet aches. What do you mean?

• 1:54:59Speaker 01

  Anything close, anything like?

• 1:55:01Bill Simmons?

  I had the Ravens, plus three. Like, what gets worse than that?

• 1:55:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. There you go. And Ringer Wise Guys, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday's a big preview. I'm 9-1 and 107 the last two weeks. That's.

• 1:55:12Bill Simmons?

  Oxy cousin, just killing it. New rewatchables for me tomorrow, All the Right Moves. You like All the Right Moves?

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  I did. That was a fun one.

• 1:55:20Bill Simmons?

  Me and Kyle brand on that, and then Under Siege with me and CR and Sean a week from now, and then Amy Poehler after that, so that'll be next.

• 1:55:27Speaker 01

  What is she doing? You can't say?

• 1:55:29Bill Simmons?

  She wants to do 9-5.

• 1:55:32Speaker 01

  Is she gonna buy the Lakers? Just tell us.

• 1:55:35Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna, I'll talk to her about it. They're still looking for, for money.

• 1:55:39Speaker 01

  Oh, 9-5. If you haven't done 9-5, that would be a good one with her.

• 1:55:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, especially a little timely. So I think that's the one we're gonna do.

• 1:55:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:45Bill Simmons?

  So there you go. All right, cuz, thanks to Eduardo, Gahow, and Jack, and Chris.

• 1:55:53Bill Simmons?

  Good job by you, as always.

• 1:55:54Speaker 01

  Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:55:55Bill Simmons?

  Thanks, everybody at Netflix. See you on the pod on Tuesday.

• 1:56:03Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21-plus and present in select states for Kansas, in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18-plus and present in DC or Wyoming. Opting for a bonus issued as non-d withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MYRESSET. Call 888-797-7777, or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut, or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org, or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts, or call 877-8HOPENY, or text HOPENY in New York. For Louisiana, call 877-770-7867.

• 1:56:50Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Core Power Protein Shakes. You know how we always talk about the little things that separate great athletes? Post-workout recovery is a big factor. Core Power Protein Shakes help you keep going after your workout with high-quality protein to build muscle and electrolytes to help hydrate. It's all you need for your recovery in one bottle. Available in 26 and 42 gram protein options to pick what works best for you. Visit corepower.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures WildHorse9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh, writer-director of The Banshees of Inisherin, and Three Billboards

• 1:57:30Bill Simmons?

  Outside Ebbing, Missouri, set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys, Parker Posey and Tom Waits. WildHorse9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment, and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss WildHorse9. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now.