How to Work with Anyone Even the Difficult Ones with Ryan Leak

What If Failing Was the Best Thing That Could Happen to You? In this powerful conversation with Ryan Leak, we dive into one of the most misunderstood truths about success: failure isn’t the end—it’s the beginning. Ryan is a best-selling author, speaker, and executive coach who’s made a career out of helping people reframe failure as the very path to greatness. And in this episode, he breaks down why most of us are playing it too safe, avoiding the very thing that could unlock our next level. Ryan opens up about his own journey, including the doubts and fears he had to walk through to get where he is today. We talk about what it feels like to take risks when everyone’s watching, how to silence the inner critic that says you’re not enough, and why your willingness to fail may be the single most important indicator of your future success. What I love about Ryan is that he doesn’t just talk theory—he lives this stuff. He shares how writing books, building a business, and coaching leaders all started with moments where failure seemed inevitable. And yet, by leaning in instead of running away, he discovered opportunities that never would’ve shown up otherwise. If you’ve been holding back, waiting until you feel “ready,” or letting fear of failure keep you small, this episode will set you free. Ryan’s wisdom will challenge the way you see setbacks, redefine what winning really looks like, and remind you that courage always comes before confidence. Key Takeaways: Why failure is often the best teacher for growth and innovation How to quiet the inner critic and reframe self-doubt The difference between failing and being a failure Why confidence is a result of courage, not a prerequisite for it Practical steps to start taking bigger risks without being paralyzed by fear You don’t need to wait until you’re fearless to take action. The truth is, the future belongs to those willing to fail forward. Listen in—you’ll never look at failure the same way again. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ INSTAGRAM ➡️FACEBOOK ➡️ LINKEDIN ➡️ X ➡️ WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

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• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior-like beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser-Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 1:36Ed Mylett?

  This is The Admirant Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. Okay, interesting anecdote. A friend of ours, a mutual friend of my guest today, said, "Hey, I've got Ryan Leek that wants to come on your show." Puts us on a group text. I said, "Ryan, I know who you are." Let's do an interview. This friend is Rory Vaden.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:56Ed Mylett?

  Then he sends me the book and it's not the same Ryan Leake after I agreed to do the interview. But then I read the book. I'm open. I read the book. I go, oh, no, no, no. I definitely want this guy on the show. So actually the content of your work is so good. I'm like, oh no, this needs to be discussed because it's a topic, which we're going to talk about next. That's under discussed and is a massive issue in people's lives. They don't know how to navigate it. So this Ryan Leake, no offense to the other one, my upgraded guest today has a book called How to Work with Complicated People. And I got to tell you something. I want to know a lot of this stuff. So I read the book from the cover to the end of it.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:32Ed Mylett?

  Every word of it took me three days.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:35Ed Mylett?

  And it really changed my life. He's, uh, he's worked with everybody from the NFL, you guys, Google, Microsoft. And so once I figured out who this Ryan Leake was, I told him also off camera, everybody I know that knows him. Raves about him and tells me this is going to be an incredible conversation today. So the real Ryan Leake, welcome to the show.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Thanks, Ed. It's a pleasure to be here.

• 2:54Ed Mylett?

  It's so good to have you. So this is perfect segue since I blew it. One of the quotes from the book, I'm like, this will be perfect, is you're somebody's idiot. And I'm like, I clearly represent that, but it's one of the principles of working with complicated people. So let's just start there because I'm a perfect description of somebody's idiot. So tell us about what that means.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  You know, it's this idea that we could live in a world where we think, man, this person's an idiot. And it's just like, we have, but we're always somebody's person that is that person. And so anytime I tell people, hey, I'm working on a book called How to Work with Complicated People, they go, yeah, I need that book. And then I go, hey, spoiler alert, somebody needs that book for you. And somebody needs that book for me. It's interesting. We hear this phrase a lot. Toxic work environment, or I've got a toxic boss. Problem with that word is no one admits that they are that.

• 3:46Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Never met someone say, hey, man, I'm going through a lot in my life right now and I'm toxic. Like people, people just don't admit that kind of thing. And so it's a word that it's like 72% of America would describe their work environment as toxic. Like it's just thrown out there a lot, but nobody wants. To admit that they're that. And so I think that idea that we're all somebody's idiot, it just postures us with a little bit of humility to say, hey, man, you know what? Maybe on the other side of me, it's a little bit more.

• 4:12Ed Mylett?

  You know, I never thought about it that way. But when I read that in the book, I'm like, oh, I, I can definitely name several hundred people in my life after 54 years of like, that dude's an idiot. And by the way, there's some great videos about me on social media where I say, cavemen lived 300 years ago. I misspoke. So I'm literally 300 million people's idiot most of the time. So that's just the way it goes. But also, what I like about the book, everyone's lean in here is if you actually, and we're going to talk about this today, it's work, but it's also family, too. It's basically just interpersonal relationships and how to navigate complicated. So if you go, I don't have a complicated work environment, but my spouse or my children or my mom is, or my mother in law is, or my father in law is, we got some stuff for you today. So is that what made you write the book as something in your own life or environment that happened?

• 4:57Speaker 02

  So I, I do about 120 events a year and I always do a pre event call with every single client. And I ask the same questions. Hey, what are the biggest challenges your people are facing right now? What we discovered was that most people's biggest hurdle to job satisfaction was not their job description. It was the people that they had to do the job with. So you actually can pull off a very difficult job with people you enjoy versus a dream job with people you tolerate. And so we said, man, if we can help people figure out the people side of it, yeah, man, it'll make their job a whole lot better.

• 5:31Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. You know, my issue was maybe still is a little bit, but I didn't realize it till after about 25 years of being in business. I liked people like me. And so if they weren't like me, like I, as a young guy, you know, overly competitive, incredibly intense, very verbal, right? Very no nonsense. So if you didn't have that criteria, former athlete, so if you didn't have that, you were an idiot. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm using your word. I don't think I felt like that strong, but like, like certainly didn't think they were great workers. And then what I realized after some time was like, actually, I already have me. So I don't really need that many more me's. I need people that have all the stuff I don't have.

• 6:12Ed Mylett?

  But is that part of our biases or this toxicity in this complicated environment as we seem to only feel our have an affection or an affinity for people like us?

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we all desire sameness. We desire to have that tribe around us that think the same ways, that have all of the same values, but it's not until you have somebody on your team that's a little bit different, that sees the world from a little bit of a different perspective, that we can sell to people that have a little bit of a different perspective. They're all bringing something to the table. Doesn't mean you just hire anybody.

• 6:44Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  But most people, they have to work with the people, like they don't get to choose unless you're the boss, unless you're the CEO. Most people are like, dude, I'm stuck with Jerry. So what am I gonna do with Jerry? So we just try to help people where they're at and say, hey, if you can figure out how to work with this person that and sees the world completely different than you, well, then maybe you could lead some people that are completely different than you. So you're practicing for your new job at your current job by developing some of these people's skills.

• 7:10Ed Mylett?

  How do you do it? Like, give us a couple of things like?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Well, one of the things I think you have to do is you have to remain curious. You have to remain curious. You have to go, I mean, there's a way that I think work should be done. There's a pace in which I have. My, I'm very fast paced, very high energy, very intense, like let's move. Well, when all of a sudden I started to realize, well, I got some people in my team that are a little bit slower. And I'm just like, hey, could you, could you pick up the pace? But then I realized I was actually making mistakes going so fast.

• 7:38Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, good point.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  And they were actually being very detail oriented. And so there, I found a blessing in their pace to be able to say, you know what, maybe, maybe there's a balance here. I need to be a little bit more considerate of their pace versus, versus my pace. I think having that posture of curiosity is very important.

• 7:58Ed Mylett?

  What about understanding? So this is, conversation is happening on a fascinating day for me. So I have multiple businesses. Well, I guess the podcast is a business, right? But in between interviews, Stephen will tell you, my producer, I had to go upstairs and take a call. I've had a very stressful morning dealing with a employee of mine in one of my businesses that I would say is a complicated person.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:18Ed Mylett?

  And in this particular person's case, whom I love, it is a him, but I have enough business. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's a him.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:25Ed Mylett?

  But about every three weeks or four weeks, I'm on an emotional roller coaster where this dude is on his way out. I mean, he's just, he's complicated. I also know he may have a proclivity to. The melancholy side of life, if that makes sense, the negative a little bit, right? The negative. And so today I've been dealing with him and it came to a head again. I'm going to quit. Okay, you're quitting out and then now he's not. And so how do you deal or your perspective on just, and by the way, this could be family. So this could be business or complicated.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:57Ed Mylett?

  People and, and also I'll give you the double and you know some of their patterns by now.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:03Ed Mylett?

  Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 9:04Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  I think, I think it's very important that you do two things. One, I think we've lost the art of having difficult conversations. Our friend John Maxwell says it this way, we have to learn to disagree without disrespect. It's the art of just saying, hey, let's, let's have this conversation. I think being able to go to somebody, family member, coworker, boss, and being able to say these words. Hey, I want to have a thriving relationship with you.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  I want, I want this to work out. Sometimes what happens is we're almost dealing with the symptoms instead of the root issues. We're not actually talking, we're going, hey, could you rewrite that email? Hey, can you not do that on that project? It's like, wait, let's just, let's actually talk about the elephant in the room. Let's actually have that direct truthful conversation and say, hey, for us to have a thriving working relationship, here's what needs to change. Hey, here, here's the part that it, what do you think I need to do for us to have a thriving relationship? So I'm coming into it with some humility. It's not all on you. You're not just the whole problem, but I'm going, what is it that you need from me for this to be a thriving relationship? And here's what I need from you.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  And if we can't meet in the middle, the key word on the book is strategies for effective collaboration with nearly anyone. Sometimes they're in the nearly and sometimes they don't make the cut. But I think we want to do everything in our part to say, hey, I did everything in my part to make this work.

• 10:29Ed Mylett?

  You know why that's brilliant? I kind of like almost grunted when he said it because what starts to happen when there's strife, correct me if you think I'm wrong, but we forget or aren't reminded of each other's intent. Intentions get lost in stress. And so what you just said that's so powerful there is to start out with, look, my intention, I want this to work out with the two of us.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 10:50Ed Mylett?

  I want this to be thriving. I want you to be happy. I want you, I did do that today with this person. So I feel good about it, but, and which is true.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:57Ed Mylett?

  But I thought I need to be the emotionally mature one to sort of rise above the emotion to some extent.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:02Ed Mylett?

  You know, the other truth with this person, I need them. In other words, they are complicated, but they are uniquely gifted and talented. They are, the juice is worth the squeeze. In other words, there's a squeeze.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:17Ed Mylett?

  But it's worth it. And so one of the things you say in the book, and this is true even in friends too. The avoidance of difficult conversations or the avoidance of having people like this in our business life is really to our detriment.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Well, I think even in your specific situation, you've got two options. You got, you have the options of having two headaches. You either have the headache of dealing with their personality.

• 11:41Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Or you have the headache of retraining somebody to have all of their skillsets. So it's like, choose your headache. Mm hmm. It's there and you do have options on that. I think you exhaust the option of the personality to say, hey, I want to do everything in my power to work this out before I go choose that second headache.

• 11:59Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  So, but it is, it is a realization of saying, is there something that I can be doing to help you be more effective in this job, specifically with our relationship? You keep bringing this thing to the table and we're rehearsing the same old lines. And so at some point, it's just got to be different. But I think being willing to have that difficult conversation, and I love using the phrase, I could be wrong. Hey, I could be wrong, but this is, this is what I, this is what I see. And what you're saying is, yeah, I got a story in my head about you. I really do.

• 12:34Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  But I realize I could be wrong about that.

• 12:37Ed Mylett?

  Ryan, you're so brilliant. I'm, this is like serendipitous. I texted that to him before the call. You know, I could be wrong, but, and I, but, and I actually just meant it like, I really could be wrong, right? Like you just said, I love highly tactical podcasts. Like that's a huge thing to start out a conversation with somebody saying, my intentions are blankety blank.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 12:58Ed Mylett?

  Second tactic that I love, this understanding, seek to be curious. The third tactic that I love is this idea of, you know, I could be wrong.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Could be.

• 13:05Ed Mylett?

  Some humility.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 13:08Ed Mylett?

  What happens, I think, don't you with complicated people, or maybe we're the idiot, like you said, like there's just a, there's this posturing and flexing that goes on. Like at the end of the day, once they're gone or it's resolved, you're like, 74% of this was just posturing and flexing and I'm more important than you. Don't disrespect me. Like these just ridiculous notions that we do to one another as humans.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're games.

• 13:32Ed Mylett?

  Aren't they?

• 13:33Speaker 02

  I think at some point you stop playing the game.

• 13:35Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  And you just start being a leader. You just start being that colleague that just says, "Hey, again, I think there's something powerful about stating that intention at the beginning of a conversation." It changes the tone. It changes the motives of the entire conversation. "Hey, I really want this to work out." As soon as you say that, there's an immediate, "Okay, I can actually put my defense down." "Because I actually want this to work out too." Now, if you don't want it to work out, well then, well, now we know where we are.

• 14:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you're right. I ask a, I ask a lot of questions. You and I were talking about John Maxwell off camera and you brought him up here. Mutual friend of both of ours and I love him. We were together doing something and I said, "What's different?" What, it's the 70, whatever John is, 75 or 8. I said, "What's the difference of the 78-year-old you and the 58-year-old you in terms of being a leader?"

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:25Ed Mylett?

  And he goes, "Oh, I know exactly what it is." He said, "The difference is I don't have to be consistent in my thinking all the time anymore." And I said, "What do you mean by that?" He goes, "I'm open to changing my mind."

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:33Ed Mylett?

  "I'm more open to being wrong." He said, "When I was in my 50s, I thought if I didn't stick true to what I believed or thought about something, I was being an inconsistent thinker." And he said, "Now, my tolerance for leaders who never say I'm sorry, never change their mind with new information is really frustrating to me." And so actually, I really listen with people that I admire. And so in this particular situation today, I also said, just for a tactic for everybody, I want your feedback on it. I said, "The other thing I want to do is I want to apologize to you because consistently I'm doing something, I mean, where I am not giving you what you need to feel respected and appreciated." As it turns out, it wasn't me at all. It was someone else.

• 15:16Ed Mylett?

  But the point is, I think there's also a power to just going, "I'm going to be the more humble one, not the flexer," especially when you're in the position of authority already. Do you agree with that? Like just humility is such a, it pulls the- The oxygen or the heat out of the environment pretty quickly.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  No question about, especially if you're in leadership, because there's an automatic intimidation factor that comes in whenever you're especially trying to have a difficult conversation with a difficult or complicated person. Uh, in chapter eight, we talk about all of the different directions of communication and leading.

• 15:49Ed Mylett?

  Can you do a little bit of that too?

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 15:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  So, uh, what can make a conversation complicated is the direction of the conversation, especially when you are having a conversation up. You're having the conversation upwards, there's this intimidation factor. When you're having the conversation down, well, there needs to be a high level of humility because well, we've all had a boss at some point in our life and we just, what's the number one thing that we would say in terms of the relationship that we had with that boss was that we did not feel like we could always be honest.

• 16:20Ed Mylett?

  Brilliant. You're right.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  We always felt we had a thought and we go, uh, yeah, yeah, I love it here. It's great. Yeah. No, man, and everything's awesome. We're like, well, everything can't be that awesome. And so you actually have to have a great deal of humility, more humility than they need to have. To be able to lead them well and to actually get real and honest feedback to be able to say, man, like, there is an intimidation factor that just comes with the role that you have. And so whenever you, whatever direction it is that you're communicating, you have to consider your end of that. If you're talking up, you're going, well, what's important to them? They've got very little time and I want to make sure that I value their time and not waste it. There's nothing more frustrating for a high level leader than to have their time wasted.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  And so being succinct, thinking through some of those things beforehand is important. But when you're talking down, you have to realize you were looking up, receiving a message at some point in your life. And you have to go back there and go, man, what did I want to happen?

• 17:21Ed Mylett?

  Oh, boy.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  In that moment, you wanted somebody to go, hey, man, I, I see you.

• 17:27Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I, I want to share a story with you about exactly what you just said and I want your feedback on it. But not as a business leader, but as a parent.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:34Ed Mylett?

  So a few weeks ago, unfortunately, I haven't even put this out on social media yet, but we lost our dog Lily.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 17:40Ed Mylett?

  We have three, yeah, we're very, everyone that follows me on social for years know we're very close with our three.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:46Ed Mylett?

  Our three Pomeranians. And so Lily was the matriarch. We lost her, excuse me.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 17:52Ed Mylett?

  And my daughter's home. It was my daughter, I gave my daughter her, that was her gift as a dog. My daughter happened to be home from college when it happened. Anyway, it was an emotional thing. And as she was passing, there was these discussions of how many times are we gonna take her to the vet? She was in the hospital for five days. It just got emotionally charged. So just picture an emotionally charged conversation. And my daughter observed my communication with my wife and hers with me. And in the middle of it, my daughter, let's just say sided with the way her mom was communicating and not me. And, and, and came to me with firm feedback. We'll put it that way. And I would actually say that's how it was. I wouldn't even say I'm wordsmithing.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 18:34Ed Mylett?

  And in that moment, I had two choices, which was one, to flex, I'm the father, I, you know, that thing.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:41Ed Mylett?

  Or to be humble and truly listen to my daughter.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:45Ed Mylett?

  And in that moment, I said, you know what? You're right.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:48Ed Mylett?

  You're right. And, and I'm gonna do what you just suggested. This is from my daughter.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:52Ed Mylett?

  And I could have said, I pay the bills around here. Then my daughter went to bed and I went into her, I knocked on her door and I said, can I come in for a minute? And I said, I just want you to know how right you were and I apologize. And I thought, hey, right in these, this last hour, I've been a pretty good dad, a pretty good leader.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:07Ed Mylett?

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• 20:34Ed Mylett?

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• 21:08Speaker 03

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• 21:11Ed Mylett?

  So one is the humility piece. The second thing, when I look back on leaders that I've worked with or for that I admire, I feel like they really listened to me well and asked questions. Whereas the other ones talked at me.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 21:26Ed Mylett?

  So how much of this, cause I listened to her. How much of this is creating a sense with complicated people that you're exact, you're actually listening to them? A big, big of an element, do you think that is?

• 21:38Speaker 02

  I think it's massive. Because if you walk into a room and you're simply dictating what everyone should do and say, "Hey, go make my ideas happen," you have robots. But if you walk into a room and go, "Let me pull out the gold inside of you," then we all create something together. Now you have a team.

• 21:58Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  But you had to have listened to everybody to be able to pull that off. That is the difference to me between somebody that is leading and people have to follow them and leading and people get to follow.

• 22:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, they lead by position. They don't lead by their actual standing. It's interesting because, especially when people come to work with me, because I, whatever, they'll think I, as a public person and a guru or like, "Oh, he must think he has all the answers." And they're usually very surprised when I go, "I actually have to go out of my life to go, 'Listen to me. I really want to know what you think.'" Okay, like, "I know what I think."

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 22:34Ed Mylett?

  There's no more space for what I think. I want to know what you think. And I think that sends a message to people, you are valued and you're appreciated. You have the book, I just want you to give them this gift because there's so much in the book. You could give away anything I ask you. It's to be good. But you have basically the four responses.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:51Ed Mylett?

  That you teach in the book, "To complicated people to kind of avoid, right? So here's what's not to do." And I love these because you're right on all of them. What are those?

• 23:00Speaker 02

  So the first thing that you could do with a complicated person is you can avoid them, which a lot of people.

• 23:05Ed Mylett?

  Which I do a lot.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Say, "Hey, let me just, let me just do my best to avoid talking to this person, stay at meetings with them." Which, again, you don't buy books to avoid people. Like, nobody does that. You're already good at that. So you don't need my help with that. And while you can do that, I don't think that's the growing version of you. I think there's better options. The other option is you could cancel them. You could just say, "You know, I'm done with this person altogether." I mean, you could, but the only problem is, none of us like being on the other end of being canceled. The other option is you could try and change them, right? And it's just like, that lives with the mantra that says, "The world would be a better place if you were just like me." Yes. And the world wouldn't be a better place. You think the echo chamber is what you need, but that's not how you grow either. Again, you can try it, you're grown, you can do whatever you want.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  But the fourth option that we tell people to do in the book, which is like the hope of the book completely, which is to try to move towards someone with understanding. Because every single one of us has had a moment where we were misunderstood. And in that moment, we were thinking, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. You misread it. No, that wasn't my tone. I know I text it, but that wasn't the tone in which I used. And like, in that moment, we all want our day in court. But when it's somebody else, it's like, well, we want karma for them and grace for ourselves. And so when we have this posture of saying, you know what? I want to move towards this person with understanding. What we discover is that complicated people often have a complicated behind the scenes. And when we begin to see what they were going through, when we begin to see, oh, wait, they lost their dog.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Oh, wait, he had a very emotionally charged conversation with his daughter last night. And now he's having one with me. And I, but I didn't know that. But once I know that, I go, oh, the conversation changed. Even though the words were the same, the understanding postured me completely different. And so I think when we are the kinds of people that make a decision, says, man, I'm not going to jump to conclusions about people because I hate when people do it to me. I actually want to be slow to talk, quick to listen, and be one of those people that go, man, I'm sure there might be more going on behind the scenes than I could ever see. I send out a text. It's an encouraging text to thousands of people every single week. One week, I sent out the text.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  I said, hey, is there anything going on in your life that I can pray for? I'm a person of faith. I said, man, let's just see what's going on with people in the world. This isn't a church group. These are all corporate people that I'm texting. I got 3,000 responses in one hour. Whoa. And my phone blew up. Whoa. With insanity. And my first thought was, I guarantee you, their boss doesn't know.

• 25:45Ed Mylett?

  You're so right, brother.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  And they they're just gonna go to work. I sent that out on a Monday and guess what they're gonna do? They're gonna go to work on a Tuesday. And so I often tell people, I say, hey, the people you work with, they're going through something they would never tell you. They say, how do you know? I go, I could show you my phone.

• 25:59Ed Mylett?

  Unbelievable.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  And so if you knew what they were going through, you would go, man, let me give them a pass.

• 26:05Ed Mylett?

  A little grace.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Because it's what you and I both want.

• 26:08Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  It's just that we have to get in that position of being the kinds of people that give that thing that we want the most.

• 26:14Ed Mylett?

  I'm loving this, just so you know. Like, I I wonder if part of it is, we do, you know, we talk a lot in personal, like our own biases, our own worldview. I also think when someone's been in your life a while.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:28Ed Mylett?

  You think you know who they are.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:31Ed Mylett?

  So you're like, okay, that's the that's the victim one. That's the one who gets set off really easy about this. That's the emotional one. That's the one who really doesn't care as much as everybody else. That's the lazy one. And we've kind of got them sort of. And so then when they behave in a certain way, we just put them back in the box they're in.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 26:48Ed Mylett?

  Rather than thinking that it could actually be circumstantial or conditional. It's just like, oh, that's what, you know, they that's what they do. They fly off the handle. Do you agree with that? Like, we almost. And so we're actually not dealing with people as a human being. We're dealing with them as an idea of a human being. This is important, everybody. I want you to lean into this because I'm I'm old. So I've done this and I've looked. I I started to deal with people when they would behave a particular way as an idea of a human, not a nuanced person who's capable of range and depth, but like, oh, that's the one that they always do this when. When in fact, it may be circumstantial or conditional, or they may be right. So I guess we we fall into patterns of beliefs about people. And then that we never allow them to vary out of it. And so we respond emotionally to them as a result. This is in personal life, even maybe more than business.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Absolutely. And it's just not fair to all of us. And here's why. I used to hear all the time, you know, first impressions are everything. It's like, yeah, but that's not fair. It is not fair. And the reason it's not fair is because haven't you grown in the last 10 years? Yes. And let's just say I met you 10 years ago and I said, oh, let me tell you about Ed. Yes. But I can't hold you to that prison. Or you met me the day Lily passed. Yeah, I mean, you don't really know. So, and I talk about in my book, I was working with a, an NBA team and one of the leaders of the team, he was talking about a player on his team that he couldn't stand. And I was like, oh, man, I'm mad that I brought him up. And then I brought him up again three months ago. I say, hey, how are you and this player doing? He said, oh, they're my favorite player now. They're crazy.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  And I said, what happened? And he said, they've grown on me. And I said, man, I don't do that well. I need to leave margin for people to grow on me more. I put people in boxes way too fast and go, okay, that's the emotional one and that's just who they are. If someone shows you who they are, believe them. It's like, no, if someone shows you who they are, maybe give them a chance to show you something different. Paint a new picture. And now you've got this open mind of saying, hey, let me, let's talk about this. Hey, and I love using this phrase, I've got a story in my head that I could use your help with. I've got a story in my head about you that I could use your help with. Personal relationships.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  I've got a story in my head that you don't love me anymore. Is that true? I've been ruminating, marinating this story in my head that I've not actually invited you in to be a part of that story. I've got a story in my head about you that you don't want to work here anymore. Is that true? I've got a story in my head that in my mind, you're not giving your best. Is that, is that true? And maybe they feel like they're giving 110% and they're overwhelmed and, but it looks like you're behind. But I've got this story in my head that I could use your help with. When you use that phrase, man, you just, you're walking with so much empathy and you're allowing somebody else to fill in the story.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  I know people who tell stories to themselves about other people for decades. You're right. Without ever inviting that person in to say, is that true?

• 29:59Ed Mylett?

  Brother, that's brilliant.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  I heard, I heard you said this about me. And so you know what? Oh, you gonna talk about me behind my back? Okay, great. I never even verified that it was even true. Rory could have said that I said, said something. He's our mutual friend. Like, wait, no, that, that wasn't exactly how I said it. But we never even go back to verify. We immediately fill in the blank with the story. And we just move on and have people in these boxes. And so I think that idea of, of leaving margin in our world to say, maybe it's not the way that I have it in the story in my head. But I actually have to be

• 30:37Speaker 02

  vulnerable enough, confident enough to pick up the phone and say, hey, man, I, I got a story in my head that

• 30:47Speaker 02

  that you've actually not been a good friend to me. And that, that may not be true. And in that moment, they'll go, dude, you know how many phone calls I made for you? Man, did you know this other person was talking behind your back? And I, I got you. I didn't know. But sometimes we'll just, we'll be halfway down the street with this story in our head that's not even true.

• 31:06Ed Mylett?

  I'm combining the two in my head of what you've suggested today was, hey, I may be wrong, but I've got this story in my head.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:12Ed Mylett?

  You know, that's outstanding.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 31:15Ed Mylett?

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• 31:57Ed Mylett?

  I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine, finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink.

• 32:40Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. What spurred this? Was there a particular person?

• 33:23Ed Mylett?

  I gotta know, that made you write this book or circumstance?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  You know, I was getting ready to do a book tour for this, for this book. And the PR company, they didn't know the title of the book. So the book's called How to Work with Complicated People, but they didn't know that. They said, okay, we're gonna have you in New York. All right, then we're gonna take it to LA, then you're gonna go to Tampa, you're gonna do all this stuff.

• 33:42Ed Mylett?

  New York Times bestseller, by the way.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Thank you. And, and then I sent them my, my speaking schedule. I said, I don't know when I'll even have time. I think I did 14 events in 16 days or something like that. I was like, when am I gonna go to New York? I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't have any space in my calendar to do that. And the guy writes back, hey, Ryan, we're gonna pass on working together. You're too complicated. And I said, I understand what you're saying, but I got a book for you. And if you just read it, you will learn how to work with me. I think overall, the impetus of the book was for me to go, man, I wanna write a manifesto for the people that work with me to say, hey, man, this is what I wish people would have moved

• 34:26Speaker 02

  towards me, because I've often just felt misunderstood. And so I thought, man, if I can help people work with me, maybe I can help them work with some other people.

• 34:33Ed Mylett?

  Can I tell you something, brother?

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:35Ed Mylett?

  That's what I thought when I read the book about myself.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:37Ed Mylett?

  I think I'm the complicated one.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:39Ed Mylett?

  I'm just complicated. I'm, I'm, I'm as kind as they come and as intense as they come.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:47Ed Mylett?

  Really, really bright sometimes and the biggest dumb ass on the planet other times. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I read the book and I like, I'm pretty sure this book is for everyone who's ever been around me, including my own family. You know, and when I meet people that I grew up with, they're like, bro, I can't believe this is you. Or even, that's a compliment, right? Or when people that work with you 10 or 15 years ago are like, wow, what a difference. You know, like, I love that part. How do you know? This is a toughie. And I know it's philosophy, but I'm curious is your opinion because you're becoming an expert through writing about something and living it. How do you know when this relationship, friendship, personal relationship or business relationship needs a little bit more grace and work or just distance or termination?

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think you've got to be able to rest your head on the pillow and say, I gave my very best to this relationship. I think most people stop short whenever they get annoyed or exhausted. But I think being able to say, hey, did I go to this person and say, hey, I really want this relationship to work out? Did I, hey, I could be wrong. Hey, did I, there's a story in my, did I do everything in my power? Did I help them get counseling? Did I get a, did I do everything in my part of the relationship? Because it takes two to tango. I think once you answer that question, that's the moment where you can, you can make a change.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  I also think you want to be able to be aware of the signs of somebody who is also in the relationship, trying to make it work. You and I are very growth mindset individuals. Okay. So we can work on just about anything. We can negotiate just about anything. If we're looking at a project, we're going, okay, well, we're going to bring whatever we can to the table to try and make this work. Well, not everybody has a growth mindset. Some people have a stuck mindset. Some people have a, I am who I am, you do you, I do me, do me, boo boo. Like that, some people just, that's just how they roll. And those are people that are going to be hard to, to do a relationship with in the long haul. When they don't think that they even need to change.

• 36:54Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  There's a line that I write in the book that I think is very, very important. And it's stop expecting people to change who aren't trying to.

• 37:02Ed Mylett?

  Amen.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Because. If they're trying to change, they'll spend money to change.

• 37:07Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  They'll call mentors to change. They'll listen to podcasts. They'll read books. They're, they're trying to change. They read a book like this and think, man, I got some things to work on. A lot of people just show up and they're just like, I'm good. You're lucky to have me.

• 37:22Ed Mylett?

  You're right, though.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  And you're like, are we?

• 37:24Ed Mylett?

  You know, you, you, um, I think sometimes I've looked at people like they're, you said, project earlier. I think sometimes I've looked at people like, this one's a project. I'm gonna work on this one. And you stipulate in the book, like, people aren't problems to be solved. And that's an, that's an unhealthy perspective on humans. But you're right. What is the right perspective? And if people aren't problems to be solved?

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 37:48Ed Mylett?

  Or projects to be worked on?

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:50Ed Mylett?

  And how should we be viewing these precious people?

• 37:54Speaker 02

  I think they're humans to be understood. That's the simple and best answer I can think of is, man, this is, this is a human being that I have. I don't, I don't have a robot yet, but

• 38:05Ed Mylett?

  Pretty close.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're close. But they're, they're human to be understood. And again, I want to do my, my best. I can't control them as much as I want to. And I think more and more in the American workforce, leaders are getting more and more frustrated because they think, oh, if I just pay them enough money.

• 38:21Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  They'll just do what I want them to do. And then they pay them a bunch of money, and then yet they still don't do what they want them to do.

• 38:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  And so it's like, money is not the controlling factor that it used to be. I think older generations are just like, hey, you pay me a hundred grand, I'll run through a wall. I will do whatever you tell me to do. That's not the case.

• 38:41Ed Mylett?

  It's not true. People want to be, especially this next generation, they're much more cause oriented, aren't they?

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 38:46Ed Mylett?

  Contribution oriented. So do you have to communicate that to people that they're valued to? Like, is it, are a lot of these things the symptom, not the disease, as you said, like, that this has gotten to the point because this person doesn't feel valued, or that they're contributing or appreciated? And now the symptom is showing up of them acting out, or this dissension, or this complication. And some proactivity would be better than reactivity most of the time?

• 39:09Speaker 02

  The hard part is, is people's skills aren't really taught in schools.

• 39:13Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  And so I deal with practitioners who are elite at what they do. They're a dentist, not a people person. I'm not a manager in office. They know how to do a root canal.

• 39:25Ed Mylett?

  Right. Yes.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  You talk about a professional athlete. It's like, I know how to dunk. You want me to have people skills and like lead the team and motivate him and know how to do media. And it's like, no, I'm a freakish athlete. I know how to play basketball. That does not mean I know how to do people. And so it doesn't matter what the industry is, people can get really good at their job and they can really suck at people. And in the people part of all of it, we're all in the people business is we do have to look at one another and go, hey, I value you. There ain't a class that's gonna teach you that.

• 40:00Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  And so it can be, you're like, but here's the job description and on my job description, it doesn't say you need to go value people.

• 40:08Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  It's like, no, I've got to be this leader. I've got to have vision. It's just like, yeah, but if you're gonna get them to actually do something about that vision, they have to feel like they belong.

• 40:15Ed Mylett?

  I just did a podcast on encouraging people. And I feel like sometimes these environments are just some periodically, the lack of encouragement being proactive by the leader, or even as the father or the mother, there's, there's a lack of like encouragement. And I think people begin to get burnt out.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:32Ed Mylett?

  As a result. So what are your takes on encouragement? And also what do you deal with someone like a leader or a father is like, I'm just burnt right now on this whole carrying the emotional burden of the company all the time and dealing with these complicated people.

• 40:49Speaker 01

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• 41:18Ed Mylett?

  What do you say to that person who's just like, I'm just tired. I'm busy. I'm tired. I got family. I got work. I got this. We got inventory. We got to make our numbers.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:25Ed Mylett?

  Now you want me to deal with these complicated people. I'm already fried.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  I think at some point, they've got to be able to step back and go, what's all this for? Where's it all going? Because we are all the products of all of our habits and, and actions over the course of a period of time. And so you have to ask yourself, if you keep going the exact way that you're going, what results are you going to get? And are you going to be happy with that? And let's just say at the end of that, you're richer, but yet your relationships have suffered. Are you sure you want to keep growing in that direction? Is what I would ask. Cause we're all going somewhere. We are all going somewhere and some of us are going there way too fast. So I think being able to step back and go, okay, what do I actually want to produce here? I know I've got numbers. I know I've got metrics. I know I've got all my KPIs and that's great, but as far as my relationships, am I going to wake up 10 years from now and yet my kids don't even want to talk to

• 42:11Speaker 02

  me? That's not good. So in light of that, I need to be intentional. The words intentionality, intentionality, intentionality, intentionality. And the more intentional we become, the more value we create. And so I encourage people all the time. I do this with the audiences every other day. I say, raise your hand in the audience, thousand people, raise your hand. If you have ever had a colleague send you a video on your birthday saying happy birthday, raise your hand. On average, it's less than 4%. I said, yeah. So I said, so this, I'm just going to make you an intentional leader. I'm making intentional colleague right now. Went to somebody's birthday, just instead of just sending a text, cause everybody gets a text.

• 42:52Ed Mylett?

  Everybody gets a text.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  You send out a video, hey, so glad you're born. So glad we worked together. Hey, happy birthday. Have a great day. In that moment, they go, there's a 96% chance that they'll say, I've never worked with anybody that sent me a video on my birthday. Then I say, hey, I'll raise your hand if you've ever had your half birthday celebrated. Half birthday. 3% of the room. Same thing. How many of you have ever had some colleagues celebrate your wedding anniversary?

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Two percent, one percent. You imagine, how long you been married?

• 43:24Ed Mylett?

  Twenty nine years.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Okay, imagine, imagine somebody that works for you goes, hey, on your anniversary, for thirty years ago, hey, I realize it's pretty hard to be married three decades and lead me at the same time. Hey, congrats on thirty years. It'd be the most meaningful video you've gotten from a coworker like ever. Does that make sense? It's like immediately, and then in the audience, I'll say, hey, raise your hand if you've been married over thirty years, thirty five years, forty years. And then whoever it is, we all go nuts for that person. I go, do you know how hard it is to work here?

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And everybody laughs. It's like, but what do we do? We just, we created moments of intentionality. If you can do that, people will feel like, man, I, you see me, I'm valued. Bonus points if you can remember kids' names. I mean, now, now we're going above and beyond. I'll tell you this, my pastor, last week, my son turned six years old. We get a video. See, he goes, hey, I'm not trying to talk to the parents right now. I want to talk to Roman. Hey, Roman, you're awesome.

• 44:23Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Hey, man, I just want to say happy birthday from your pastor. It's like, when you, when people think about Christians or pastors, they don't tell that story.

• 44:32Ed Mylett?

  Brother, I love that about the pastor. So you have a Roman? I have a Maximus. We both went with kind of common theme there.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 44:41Ed Mylett?

  I, a few weeks ago, it was a friend's birthday, and I don't usually do this.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:46Ed Mylett?

  And I made him a video, and it wasn't even a quick one. It was like why I love him and why I'm so proud of him. Very prominent man, very well-known man, very successful. And I'm sure he got twenty six billion text messages on his birthday. And I saw him, and he was walking down a hallway towards me.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:03Ed Mylett?

  First off, before I saw him, his assistant said to me, I won't say his name, but he was very moved by your video. He's, he's mentioned it to me two or three times.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:12Ed Mylett?

  So she knew about it.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 45:13Ed Mylett?

  And then as he turned the corner of the hallway, he saw me, broke down.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 45:17Ed Mylett?

  Broke down. And by the time he got to me, he just hugged me and couldn't speak.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:20Ed Mylett?

  I just sent him a video message for his birthday.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Means the world.

• 45:23Ed Mylett?

  But it, it may not have happened ever, or in thirty years, it hasn't happened. You're so right. Then I want to tell you a story about a guy, and then I want your thought on boundaries is where we're going to go last.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 45:33Ed Mylett?

  Growing up, remember when you'd have to call someone's house to talk to them? So when I was growing up, my dad had all these different bosses and people that he worked with, but there was this one man named Jerry Farley.

• 45:45Ed Mylett?

  When Jerry Farley would call the house, he would, you know, my dad would pick up and I could hear them talking and it was a couple of minutes about business and then I'd hear my dad go, oh, no, he got two hits in the game and this and then Michelle got a goal in soccer. Jerry Farley started to ask about the kids by name. Then he would take it a step further. Then he would have my dad put me on the phone. He would do this almost every time he called our home. I'd say, Mr. Farley, he says, it's Jerry, Eddie. He goes, can I just tell you what your dad's been telling me about you? He talks about you all the time. You have no idea how proud your dad is of you. You're the apple of his eye, man. He just, he thinks the world of you. And then every once in

• 46:26Ed Mylett?

  a while, he'd write me a letter. Just a handwritten note. I'm 12, 14, 15 years old. Hey, your dad walked in today and told me the story of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What a great story. I'm so proud of you. But this guy, here we are, my father's passed away. I believe Jerry's now passed away a year or two ago. Of all the men my father ever worked with, I can tell you the name of one.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Jerry.

• 46:47Ed Mylett?

  Jerry Farley. And I'm 54 years old. He made me feel special.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 46:53Ed Mylett?

  No matter what went on in that work environment that was toxic, or if they didn't get along, I promise you, my dad reverted back to that was this man's intention and who he was. And my dad worked with him until he retired. Never took a job anywhere else, right? So to your point, my dad revered him. And I revere him. I don't know whether he was good at his job or not. I have no idea. I never asked my dad that question. Is he even any good at his job?

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 47:15Ed Mylett?

  But I know he was a good man. I know he cared about our family. And that runs deep. My dad never took more money to go somewhere else, a better opportunity, closer to work, didn't have to commute. None of that ever entered my dad's mind. My dad worked Saturdays till late at night for Jerry Farley. So you make a great point. Great point. I wanted to add that. The last thing I want to ask you about, I've done a terrible job with this in my life, which is setting boundaries for the people around me. Boundaries in the workplace? I'm talking about asks of me, favors, what's appropriate, what's not, what's in my calendar? I am maybe one of the all time worst boundary setters. It's just, it's just been an invisible spot for me. And then I'm constantly paying the price for the lack of boundaries, which increases intensity and friction and all this other stuff.

• 48:00Ed Mylett?

  Had I just been good at the boundary thing, probably would have eliminated about 70% of this stuff. So what's your advice on boundary setting them, how to do it, et cetera?

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, you said it in your question, you're, you're gonna pay for it one way or another. So you can pay the price of the awkward conversations at the beginning? Or you could pay the price of stressed out strenuous relationships all around you because, you know, you couldn't say no.

• 48:28Ed Mylett?

  How do you have the awkward conversation though? How do you master that?

• 48:31Speaker 02

  For me, I, again, I, I look at the direction of my life. Where's all this going? And I start with my kids. I got 10 and six. Okay, I got 10 and six. So they're, they're looking, you know what I mean? And so I, I've just, I've just decided a long time ago that part of my definition of success is that my kids still want to go on business trips with me 20 years from now. And so even when I do a corporate keynote, I show a picture of me and my son at, on a business trip and I say, the goal is that 20 years from now, we're still taking pictures on business trips. And he wants to, not because he has to.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Like me and my son were going to Vegas in Phoenix Thursday and Friday. Can't wait.

• 49:20Ed Mylett?

  That's awesome.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  And he's stoked. The goal is like, man, are you gonna crush it in, in Scottsdale and Vegas? Of course. But the real goal is that he has the time of his life and that he still wants to do it 20 years from now. For that to happen, that means I have to set boundaries with a lot of people. And so I have to consistently say no. And in, in my write up, hey, I'll even tell clients, man, I would love to come and, and do the dance the night before. I can't.

• 49:49Ed Mylett?

  Got my son.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  I've, I've got my family. And just so you know, here's what I'm gonna teach. I'm going to teach that you, every single person should have their own personal definition of success and that they should stand by. I'm gonna tell you what mine is. Hey, would you help me be a great dad and a great speaker? That actually lives what he's talking about? So now we, we're talking about a boundary that says, hey, if your event's at four, I'm not coming in the day before at two. Unless it's in Hawaii. Unless we're going somewhere, you know what I mean? But we're going to, you know, Kansas City, it's just like, no, I live in Dallas. I'll get there. I've got, we can get a private plane. Whatever we need to do to make sure we've never missed an event.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  I know it's gonna make you anxious. I know you're gonna give some pushback, but unfortunately, if I can't, then I can't come.

• 50:43Ed Mylett?

  I love you.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  And so I have to say no to a lot of things that other people would say, no, this is successful. You mean, you're not gonna do this person's event? It's like, I can't do that event and coach my son's basketball.

• 50:57Ed Mylett?

  Because you know where you want this to be in 20 years. You keep that front and center. That's your true north.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  And I let people know that. And when they hear that.

• 51:04Ed Mylett?

  They want you more.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  And now, now they're going, I probably should have done that.

• 51:09Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Most CEOs are going, I'm nervous that you're coming in the same day, but I wish I would have sent this email. I wish I would have made this phone call. And so sometimes that is the difference is, is going, hey, don't, agent, don't send this in an email. Give me their phone number. I'm gonna call them. Hey, here's a situation. My son's got a basketball game. And what it costs to be me, it actually cost him a lot for me to be who I am. So when this book hit the New York Times Bestsellers list, my son freaked out. And it was like, all his hard work paid off.

• 51:50Ed Mylett?

  That's so good. You're trying to make me fall in love with you, Ryan Leek. By the way, just so each child gets a shout out to the, to the audience, we got Roman and We got Jackson. All right, we got Jackson as well. You're exceptional. Thank you. You're exceptional. And after you were booked, everybody that we knew mutually told me what a powerhouse you were and how brilliant you were. But what I've sensed with you is obviously your IQ is very, very high, but I sensed your heart and your spirit. Thank you. God shines through you, bro. I appreciate that. Yeah, you're special. Thank you. You are. This book is special to everybody. Can I just tell you something? Yeah. This is why I do the podcast right here. Yeah. Like a perfect conversation, back and forth, no wasted minutes, everything you said helped people. Good. This is why I started this show right here. Wow.

• 52:33Ed Mylett?

  And so you make me feel good about doing this today. Thank you. How to Work with Complicated People with the Ryan Leek. New York Times bestseller already. Let's keep it on the list, you guys. Go get it. Follow Ryan on social as well. Thank you. He's exceptional. You heard it today, Ryan. Thank you. God bless you, everybody. Max out. By the way, get on my email list, edmylett.com so you get the episodes early and also so that we're communicating more often. Maybe I'll figure out something to send you someday as well. God bless you. Max out.