Loan Sharks w/ Kippy & Foley!

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ BetterHelp: ARE YOU GARBAGE is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com Factor: Eat smart with Factor. Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Draft Kings: Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  You know it.

• 0:26H. Foley?

  It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're going to be classy.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:30H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Garbage.

• 0:33H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition. She's outside waxing up the Lumina.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  Getting it ready for the week for Kippy.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  All right, I respect that.

• 0:44H. Foley?

  Lot of baby oil out there on that driveway.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Call that the Diddy special.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  That's from Last Palm Hero over there on the old Patreon. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. He's my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube and also now on Spotify. Go over there, you can leave a look.

• 1:15H. Foley?

  How about that, huh?

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Full video available on Spotify. You comment, you do your little rate and review over there. Let's get those numbers juicing. Let's get a bag.

• 1:21H. Foley?

  They do all that over there? They do rate and reviews and comments and stuff?

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  Those guys are pretty good.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. I'm talking about four years of bonus episodes, hard feelings, all you get. You sign up right now, you get all that backlog.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  That's a lot.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Also, for the listener, Foley just took out his zin before we started and put it right in his pocket. That's...

• 1:48H. Foley?

  They dry very quickly.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  That's insane behavior.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  No, that's insane behavior.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  I'd rather have you throw it on the...

• 1:54H. Foley?

  I'll throw you insane behavior.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  I'd rather have you throw it on the... Oh, dude, I forgot to tell you, my brother does. I don't know if there's zins or whatever. Whatever one he does has a second pouch. He's off the heaters.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  Second pouch.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Has a second area where you can put the used ones.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  Oh, I thought you meant it had a double pouch.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  No, no, there's like a second little thing.

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Like a Camel Crush.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  And his buddy was using them all night, like they were drinking. So he was like, oh yeah. And then at one point, he didn't, he thought he was, my brother just thought he was taking the fresh ones. And he comes up to my brother like, at like midnight, he's like, hey man, do you have any dry ones? These are all wet. My brother's like, you're eating the ones I've been eating.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  That is a tough look. That is what we call in the biz Charles Garodey. Yikes. That's tough.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  I like to sip coffee when I have them, so that'd be real nasty. Yeah. I like to drink when I have them, have them in. Just to freshen up the powder a little bit and juice them back up. Give it a squeeze. They don't hit like the heaters.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Sure, well, for newsflash.

• 2:52H. Foley?

  But I smell better.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Me and the big man are off the heaters.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  We're off the heaters.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Well, I am. I can't speak for other said parties about on or off or in heaters. I'm off the heaters, that's all I know.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  I resent that disparaging remark. You see me with the goddamn zins.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I've also seen you with a pack of heaters in your sleeve. It's like you were Travolta. Ew.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  Those were candy.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't, I haven't been with you in a long time and you do have a proclivity to lie out your ass about stuff.

• 3:24H. Foley?

  I live lives, secret lives, sure.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Where I catch, where I may or may not catch heaters.

• 3:31H. Foley?

  I'm going AA just for the heaters. You guys can't say nothing, right?

• 3:36Speaker 02

  I'm anonymous. H. Foley, by the way, how you doing?

• 3:40H. Foley?

  Check out the bot, huh? It's on Spotify.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Anybody need an autograph?

• 3:46H. Foley?

  Hold on, if I did do AA, that's, I'd want to do that.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  What?

• 3:50H. Foley?

  They got them Hollywood type ones out there in the city.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  I think the idea.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Where people in the industry go.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  No, I think the idea.

• 3:57H. Foley?

  I can move some scripts around.

• 4:00H. Foley?

  Movie scripts.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Bang killers.

• 4:03H. Foley?

  You guys play ball, right?

• 4:05Speaker 02

  You guys like to party. Now you're off the sauce, you know what's good, huh? A little perka doodle.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Get you feeling all right.

• 4:13H. Foley?

  Sit through this meeting. I just cut my lip.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Jesus, you're all over the place.

• 4:17H. Foley?

  Bit my tongue the other day.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Whoa, just, hey guys, everybody relax.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  When's the last time you did that? Talk about garbage.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  I don't know, I mean, you do have a fat tongue.

• 4:27H. Foley?

  I do.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like the tongue of a DC shoe.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  You're like a skate shoe out of Hot Topic or something. Boy's got a bad case of a fat tongue. Looks like you got stung by a wasp.

• 4:42H. Foley?

  And the ladies like it. And the boys.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  What?

• 4:46H. Foley?

  When's the last time you bit your tongue? Like significant, like this was significant. And I felt like a real fat kid when I did it.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 4:55H. Foley?

  I was in front of you guys when I did it. We were enjoying something. Egg bites? Had to be egg bites. We haven't got lunch in a couple of days, I ain't gonna lie.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  He dropped his egg bite on the ground. And I mean, full-blown drop to push-up position to pick them up. Luke was like, "I've never seen you move that fast in my life."

• 5:14H. Foley?

  You fucking remember that, punk? I still got a couple, couple seconds in me.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  You were, you went down quick.

• 5:21H. Foley?

  I had to cover you in egg bites.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  You didn't pop up too fast. You did eat them under the table.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  We got mice in this dump too. Who knows what I caught from that?

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Uh, sure, sure. Uh, I got something for you.

• 5:35H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Oh, my, my wife is away at the moment. She's in, uh, Germany. And I had to, uh, I had to trim my beard this morning. Your beard is weird.

• 5:45H. Foley?

  Your butthole, you mean?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  I did do a little bruising down through.

• 5:49H. Foley?

  A little Merkin? Put the Merkin on?

• 5:52Speaker 02

  You know why it's called Merkin?

• 5:53H. Foley?

  Um, do I know why it's called Merkin? Um, Merlin's brother. Merlin and Merkin, they were two wizards back in the day.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Sure, oh yeah, uh-uh. So when you used to get, you would get, I don't know, whatever, uh, VD, which by the way, we're calling it a VD is a real, a real grody. Uh, whatever venereal disease you would get, they would hit, it was like syphilis or something, they'd hit you with a shot of mercury and that would make all your hair fall out down there.

• 6:19H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  So they'd shoot you in a wee-wee with it and then all your, all your, all your, your pubes would fall out. And they'd give you a fake... They'd give you a fake toupee.

• 6:29H. Foley?

  Keep up appearances.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Keep up appearances, so you don't get left out of the whorehouse. For being some prepubescent weirdo.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  Hey, check out Q Ball over here.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Uh, so they, uh, this is what I was told. Is that true, Luke? Keep diving. That should be on my homepage. Um, so yeah, they give you like a fake one and it was called a Merkin because mercury, whatever. I don't know.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  If not, let's make it up and run with that.

• 6:55H. Foley?

  So you were taping that up?

• 6:56Speaker 02

  So I was taping up my, I was taping up my murky.

• 6:58H. Foley?

  You're trimming your beard.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Trimming my beard.

• 7:00H. Foley?

  Is this recently?

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, today.

• 7:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  I just hit it with a five piece, just clean it up a little bit.

• 7:05H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  My, this is neither here nor there. You don't have to, you don't have to go dead.

• 7:09H. Foley?

  I just see some stragglers.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. Do you father time over there?

• 7:14H. Foley?

  Nah, my shit's tight.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  Sure it is.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Okay, now we're just-

• 7:18H. Foley?

  I'm doing this, by the way.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  You're doing what?

• 7:20H. Foley?

  I'm getting-

• 7:20Speaker 02

  It's gross. It's up close, it is gross.

• 7:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm getting, I'm, I'm coloring-

• 7:24Speaker 02

  I thought you just said it was, oh, you're, no, do not color it. No.

• 7:26H. Foley?

  I don't care.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 7:27H. Foley?

  I don't want to have this. I feel like, I feel like, um, what's his name?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  You look like a billy goat. Grab you by the scruff.

• 7:39H. Foley?

  I, I feel like a silverback. I don't, I don't like this.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  It's not, uh, uh, uh.

• 7:42H. Foley?

  Cause it's not eager.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  You gotta keep it tighter. You gotta go tighter.

• 7:45H. Foley?

  Nah, see, I go tighter. Then the chin starts showing.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Nah, I mean, you can go tighter than that.

• 7:50H. Foley?

  I got these people fooled.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 7:52H. Foley?

  Think I'm not fat. Dude, I'm-

• 7:54Speaker 02

  All those black t-shirts. Um, I, uh, what's the cleanup process after you shave? Like on the sink. I'm assuming you're shaving above the, at the sink.

• 8:07H. Foley?

  I do it in the bedroom.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  I, I wouldn't put that past you. In bed.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  Spread my A around.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  I go into the bathroom, okay? I take everything off the sink.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Smart move.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  Right?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Cleaning up all the trinkets is a fucking, that's the worst, dude.

• 8:25H. Foley?

  She's like Sherlock Holmes. She finds one thing, she's like, lock the doors. She freaks out.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  You've really been pushing that bit for a while. You used to do that ten, you lock the doors.

• 8:34H. Foley?

  No one leaves, someone farted. Shitlock Holmes?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:38H. Foley?

  Kid liked it.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Patent pending. Someone trademarked that.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  I'm gonna mention you, my dear boy.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Also, you've been-

• 8:45H. Foley?

  God damn it!

• 8:46Speaker 02

  You've been writing it for ten years, you only have those two lines.

• 8:49H. Foley?

  Hey, you don't mess with a classic. Uh, take everything off, alright? Take everything off. Dry sink, dry countertop.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Second water gets introduced to this process, you might as well, it's like, it's like an inkback went off and you, when you were robbing a bank.

• 9:06H. Foley?

  I do my shit. I go like that, cause I'm shirt off. I get, I get, I put that in the sink. I run out to the kitchen. I grab.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Grab a sandwich. Okay. Run out to the kitchen. What do you get?

• 9:21H. Foley?

  I got two pounds of ground chuck. Eighty twenty. Gotta be eighty twenty.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  None of that ninety ten bullshit.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Who the fuck am I?

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Goddamn American.

• 9:31H. Foley?

  I dish, do they get fatter? Can you do like sixty forty?

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Go in half. Give me a half and half.

• 9:40H. Foley?

  That's a juicy burger right there.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Talk about a juicy Lucy. You ever have a juicy Lucy, by the way?

• 9:46H. Foley?

  Oh, what's that?

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Man. At all, at all.

• 9:48H. Foley?

  That's how you end up with a Merkin.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Are you nuts?

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Uh, Juicy Lucy is, I believe in Minneapolis, Minnesota, out there at the Twin Cities. Um, they put cheese in the middle of the burger. And, and cooked that up. Yeah, I didn't know. And I'm sitting there at the bar waiting to go up and bum. I take a bite of this fucking thing and I get a, I get a hot one. Talking about. I get a hot dose right in the back of the throat. I almost slapped this burger.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  Uh, for a minute in the nineties, there was a rumor going around that if you wrapped, um, if when you were making your burgers on the grill. If we weren't using Bubba Burgers, which we usually did use Bubba Burgers, shout out to them. Remember Bubba Burgers?

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, we were, we were a more of a.

• 10:35H. Foley?

  Make your own patty family?

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 10:37H. Foley?

  Oh, American patty. I got you. The shitty ones from ShopRite or whatever.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  America's choice. We were a super fresh family at the time.

• 10:43H. Foley?

  Chopping those things apart with a fucking.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Man, take.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Butter knife?

• 10:46Speaker 02

  That'll cut you up. Man, talk about smashing your knuckles on a, on four frozen hamburgers. They've been in there since the Carter's been in.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  And sometimes they just fall apart easy.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  I know.

• 10:57H. Foley?

  That was like Steakums. They were hit or miss trying to get those things apart. Anywho, for a minute, uh, there was a rumor going around.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Where?

• 11:08H. Foley?

  The dirtbag culinary world of my family, that if you put an ice cube in the middle of the burger.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  I think that, I think that plays.

• 11:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, dude, she almost burned my dad's face off.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Why?

• 11:18H. Foley?

  Because it melted and it was like, it was like a pool of water in there. She packed the burger too tight. My dad took a bite of it, wah, fucking burns it. He had like a visual burn on his face.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Could have been a herpathermia, acting up.

• 11:31H. Foley?

  Could have been a merkin.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Little bit of, little bit of a merkin flare up if you get, got bit by a juicy Lucy.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  So I go out to the kitchen, I grab the-

• 11:39Speaker 02

  I forgot about this.

• 11:40H. Foley?

  I grabbed the Dyson, okay?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Really?

• 11:44H. Foley?

  Grabbed the Dyson, put the short thing on there. I go in there-

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Right up my butt.

• 11:48H. Foley?

  And then, vacuum all, everything-

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Really?

• 11:52H. Foley?

  Everything out of the bowl, of the sink, really. Sometimes in the bowl if it's dry, and then I just take water and scoop it around on the inside, let it flush down. Which I've noticed and been taking some heat for, the drain has been running a little slow after doing that for a while. I gotta get some Drano in there.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  But that's my process.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Ah, okay.

• 12:14H. Foley?

  Then I get in the shower.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Alright, that's pretty good. That's, that's, that's really good. I did mine today and since no one, I'm just, I'm living, I just ghosted.

• 12:21H. Foley?

  Really?

• 12:22Speaker 02

  I said, Hans, let's go, we gotta get the hell out of here. What?

• 12:26H. Foley?

  Then it starts sticking with the toothpaste and this and that.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm not spitting, I, I mean, I did it, I showered and I left. I didn't, I'm not like, I'm not gonna be living with that.

• 12:34H. Foley?

  So when you go home tonight, you're gonna clean it up?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  I gotta take care of that. But, I was in a rush. Um, but what I do, the water, water's a, well, really, it gets stuck to your fingers, looks like you were shearing a sheep.

• 12:48H. Foley?

  Everywhere.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Oh, it's, dude, it's-

• 12:50H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  And the second it gets wet and sticks to you, it's like, I feel like it's all pubes, you know what I mean? It's bad. Um, I'll wet a nap, wet a piece of toilet paper, a little bit.

• 13:02H. Foley?

  Toilet paper?

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, just a little bit.

• 13:04H. Foley?

  I got good, I got good TP.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  I wet a little bit of that, right? And you get like a smidge and then that's enough and then I'll like, like I'm busting a table. I'll zip zap around and that'll get most of it. But if I'm, I mean, I'm a lazy guy, so a lot of times I just kinda the top with the soap and the thing and that's.

• 13:25H. Foley?

  You're done.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  You lift that up. That's like you could clone me down there. That's bad news.

• 13:30H. Foley?

  For a while I was taking a paper towel and folding it over like a, like a tarp.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Really? That's pretty good.

• 13:37H. Foley?

  Not bad.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Huh. I want, I want to put a mirror in my ba- in my bathtub, like in the shower.

• 13:43H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  And so I can do it in there. It's just, I, that, it's everywhere. The second you shave.

• 13:48H. Foley?

  Shaving in the shower?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  What?

• 13:50H. Foley?

  It makes me a 90's dad shaving in the shower.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  I wouldn't have the water on. I would just stand in there and clean it up.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  I hate that. I can't stand naked in the shower without it running.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Who said I'd be naked?

• 14:00H. Foley?

  Trying to move tickets, aren't you?

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Shaving over here.

• 14:04H. Foley?

  Wait, you would get, that's even weirder.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I haven't done it, but I'm just saying, I mean, maybe I'm in my boxers or something. Cause you gotta, I, you gotta, I've tried it and I've been jumping back and forth and that don't work.

• 14:13H. Foley?

  Oh no, I thought if you put the.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Looks like a dog who got fucking surgery. I'm missing patches all over my shit.

• 14:21H. Foley?

  If you did it in the shower, just do it in the shower.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 14:26H. Foley?

  Do it when you get into the shower, like when the shower's running. You can't stand in a shower in just your boxers and shave. That's weird. Isn't it cold in there? I wouldn't like that.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Cold what?

• 14:37H. Foley?

  I feel like fucking Rambo.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm, I'm not like posted up. I mean, it takes three, four minutes to shave. I just zip zap zoom.

• 14:44H. Foley?

  You have your socks on in there?

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Ah, maybe. I got my shoes on. I gotta jack, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta run. I'm an international businessman. I got shit to take care of.

• 14:52H. Foley?

  Hey, when's the last time you were in boxers and sneakers?

• 14:55Speaker 02

  I don't think ever.

• 14:56H. Foley?

  It feels weird.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Ah, one time the, the alarm went off in the burbs. Man, I need pants. I've said that before. I need, I need a pair of slacks to feel like, to feel confident.

• 15:09H. Foley?

  Underwear, socks and sneakers. This is strange.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  I, and I put on shoes to like go check something. Man. Fucking check it sweeping that place scares the bejeebus out of me. I can't stay there alone.

• 15:23H. Foley?

  It's fucking hell, man.

• 15:26H. Foley?

  This thing was barking at fucking nothing.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you keep showing your fucking toes, though.

• 15:30H. Foley?

  Good looking kid, though. Gang, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp. 2025 has begun. Do you want a new you? Do you want to get your shit together? I've been trying to get my shit together through talk therapy. BetterHelp can help. It's a great way to get into talk therapy. You can do it in your place. You can text, you can call, you can do video. If you gotta get something big off your mind, you want to get something small off your mind. If you want to help map out your 2025, I'm telling you, talk therapy and BetterHelp can help you accomplish those goals.

• 15:58Speaker 02

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• 16:39Speaker 02

  That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash garbage. Betterhelp dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 16:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, but some of my DraftKings, baby.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Shout out to the kings of the dream.

• 16:48H. Foley?

  The playoffs are, as they say, upon us, my friend.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Playoffs?

• 16:52H. Foley?

  You can bet what you want over at DraftKings. Get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. We're talking about scoring touchdowns is a key to winning playoffs, and you can score big by betting on them with DraftKings. You bet on touchdowns. What are we doing here?

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Hey, talk about streamlining it. Start betting on putties, dude. If you're ready to place your first bet, try betting on something simple like a player to score six. Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code AYG. That's code AYG for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just five bucks. That ain't bad. Only on DraftKings Sportsbooks, the crown is yours. If you've got a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 8- 778-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY which is 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for gambling problems.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on half of Boot Hill Casino and Resort Kansas. 21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. You're voided in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co/audio. Do it, yeah. But all that's either here or there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands and gang. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, we will answer your question on the air. And we got one, two, three humdingers over here. Hit me. This one, this is from the, uh, are you rubbish from the UK? Hello? Eh, eh? It's alright.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Uh, $5 bozo never had one red. Are you garbage if when you borrow money from someone, you give them two separate days? You're gonna pay them back? Example, I'll definitely get you by Thursday. If not, then on Sunday. Yeah, that's the way to go. I invented that. Hey, listen, that's, that's a dirtbag. As a guy who struggled with money for a very long time, you think next week is gonna be better. It's not. You think you're gonna learn? You think that check's gonna come in? It's gonna stay whole? I used to watch you go pick up your check at that way, at, at that, uh, at that restaurant. And I mean, by the time you got off the block, you were, you were fucking 80 bucks down.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  You'd pop in, hey, you wanna pay, you buy us each a pack of eaters, couple of high chews. I'm sorry, I took care of you. Well, hey, listen. Kept us on our feet. Okay, hey, listen, I fucking, I kept you afloat many, uh, many, uh, many a time. I never really borrowed off of you, did I?

• 19:32H. Foley?

  You were always tight with it.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Well, I never had it. What are you talking about?

• 19:36H. Foley?

  Tight with it? I can't.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  I never had it. I was living off 180 bucks. You know what's crazy? When I hear people move to New York and they're like, "Oh yeah, I moved to the Lower East Side." I'm like, "You what?" Like, "You moved to the Lower East? That's, I don't even, that's insane to me." "You came here to do co- and you moved to like..." Dude, we have a, it's like you were living under a kitchen table in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. I was living on the floor in Washington Heights.

• 20:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, 51st and Park. Billionaires Row.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  It's crazy to me. I'm like, "Ah, you're in the fucking 157th Tower? No way. How's that?"

• 20:10H. Foley?

  There's always a little more to that story.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 20:12H. Foley?

  Tommy and Daddy straightening you up.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  I can't even hang out on the Lower East Side, let alone fucking live down there. Uh... But you would pot, you spend quick and then...

• 20:21H. Foley?

  Spend quick.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  I was the same way and then you go, "Yeah, that hundred I had is, you know, now fucking 62." But it's in your head, it's still a hun, though, because you just picked it up and you got a bag of things.

• 20:32H. Foley?

  Feeling, got a pocket full of cash.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  You buy fancy candy, you get like Raffellos or whatever.

• 20:38H. Foley?

  Raffellos?

• 20:39Speaker 02

  What do they call them? So, you would, you would spend it if you had it.

• 20:44H. Foley?

  Raffellos? Rochells?

• 20:47Speaker 02

  No. Is there a Raffellos? Isn't there one?

• 20:49H. Foley?

  No.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  R-A-F-F-E-L-L. This is how little I know. I'm a hide you, man. That's well done. Or a gummy bear.

• 20:57H. Foley?

  Raffellos.

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, Raffello.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:59H. Foley?

  Really?

• 20:59Speaker 02

  What's that, what's they go? They look fancy.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  It's a Ferrero Rocher brand, subsidiary.

• 21:04H. Foley?

  Huh. Can I see a picture of that?

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Sure, I'll get you.

• 21:07H. Foley?

  A Raffello. A Rochel. How do you say it again?

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Raffello. It's like white.

• 21:11H. Foley?

  No, no, no. The Rochelle. Rochello.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  What? Ferrero Rocher?

• 21:18H. Foley?

  Rocher.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Rocher.

• 21:19H. Foley?

  Those are little hazelnut chores.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  These things.

• 21:21H. Foley?

  The little bangers.

• 21:24H. Foley?

  Oh, they're called Raffellos?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Maybe, I don't know.

• 21:26H. Foley?

  I didn't know that.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  I just pulled it. It was, I had, I was picturing Ferrero Rocher. I can't even say that.

• 21:32H. Foley?

  Well, that is a gentleman's candy. Those things are delicious.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  I, you have to drive a, that sounds like a sports car to me. That's like something, that's something you get when you buy a Lamborghini. They give you a pack of Ferrero Rochers.

• 21:44H. Foley?

  Kevin.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  That sounds like an Indy driver.

• 21:48H. Foley?

  Kevin Rocher?

• 21:51H. Foley?

  In the number one Red Bull car? Coming around there too.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  But yeah, anytime I ever did borrow, I mean, I borrowed money off a lot of people, a lot of times. Uh, still on a sheet once or two, one or two people.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Are you still?

• 22:03Speaker 02

  I owe my, uh, my ex roommate, uh, I, we've talked, I just, I gotta, I just, whenever I'm around, I buy stuff for him. To get off the sheet. Um, he, he waved a few hundred a couple of times.

• 22:15H. Foley?

  What do you think you're at?

• 22:16Speaker 02

  What, to him?

• 22:17H. Foley?

  Under a thousand?

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He would never, my, my line of credit was not a thousand, a thousand to him.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 22:24Speaker 02

  No, I'd get, I'd be like, let me borrow a hundred till payday. That would come. I'd be like, I'll give you fifty. I still have all the walking around money, you know what I mean?

• 22:33H. Foley?

  Gotta get your Raffellos.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Something would happen, you know? I remember, yeah, I remember one time I ordered a, a buffalo chicken panini from the corner store and my card got declined. And I had a, they were making it. I went back and had to borrow money off him at the apartment. We'll walk back to get it.

• 22:49H. Foley?

  I'm gonna lose this deal here. They got it on the goddamn grill.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  I know. Yeah. And my fries, too. Can't, can't walk away from the table.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Never leave the table on a heater, you know what I mean?

• 23:04H. Foley?

  So we had to give you money to go back and get it?

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  Which is like you're borrowing, you're borrowing money that's already spent, which sucks, you know what I mean?

• 23:12H. Foley?

  Let me tell you what's.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Like now I'm borrowing forty bucks? Well, it's also, that was shocking because I thought I was in a better financial. I thought I had at least, I.

• 23:21H. Foley?

  Forty bucks on a panini? Slow it down a little bit.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Well, I thought I probably had a couple hundred bucks, or like a hundred and fifty bucks that'd last till payday. Something hit the account I wasn't expecting. Student loan.

• 23:35H. Foley?

  That's how they get ya.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  And then, so I went from like, oh, I got one fifty, I can spend, you know, fifteen on dinner. That got denied.

• 23:43H. Foley?

  Get a panini.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Get a panini, so I'm, I was, I, I took like a, a $200 swing. I thought I had one 50. Now I'm in the hole 40 and I, and I gotta spend 15 on a panini. That ain't good.

• 23:54H. Foley?

  That's what happened to Enron.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  I'm selling shares.

• 23:58H. Foley?

  Watered down stocks?

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Anybody wanna go hands on fries with me?

• 24:03H. Foley?

  I wanna dive into this a little bit, but let me start by saying, cause that, that made me think of the fact.

• 24:10H. Foley?

  When you borrow off of somebody enough, especially when it's small bills, small petty stuff. I can imagine that that was a situation, when you have to stand there and you know they're sick of fucking giving you money.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  They're sick of hearing the story.

• 24:26H. Foley?

  They have, this has been with my brother so many times where he was like, he was sitting in his shorts or his boxers, watching TV.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Shaving.

• 24:33H. Foley?

  And I'm, and, and he's gotta go, and when they, when they have to go and get their wallet. Ah, my wallet's in my jeans, go get it. They tell you to go get it.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  Aw, man.

• 24:43H. Foley?

  Or you gotta, they walk back to get it and they put, I only got 20 on me. And say, alright, I, you take that.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  You're scratching, alright, that'll do.

• 24:52H. Foley?

  I mean, the fries are already in.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  They dropped the fries. They're probably tossing them in the salt right now.

• 24:58H. Foley?

  It's not really about me at this point.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  It's just a small business I gotta keep afloat.

• 25:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, is, that's just the, the, and the way you stand, you think you're a man.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  No, you don't. I've never thought that.

• 25:09H. Foley?

  No, I'm saying, in general, you think you're a man.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  But then you stand there.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  When a grown man has to open his wallet for you.

• 25:16H. Foley?

  And you stand there and wait, like it's okay.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  You're doing this, you're like, you're like, you don't know what to do with your hands. You're like, yeah, ha, tired, man. Get a good night's sleep tonight.

• 25:28H. Foley?

  I got to the point.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Stretching and stuff, doing, doing a golf swing.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Trying to fill the nervous energy?

• 25:36H. Foley?

  Thinking about playing Sunday, you wanna go?

• 25:38Speaker 02

  I got ya, I'll cover you. I was the king of that. As I'm borrow- as I'm down in the hole, I'm going, "Hey, next week, I got, we're go- we're all going to Antiqua," or whatever.

• 25:49H. Foley?

  Antiqua?

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Antiqua? I don't know.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  La Tortuga.

• 25:54H. Foley?

  Here's the-

• 25:57Speaker 02

  That's your new nickname? La Tortuga.

• 25:59H. Foley?

  That's from Pirates of the Caribbean.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  The Turtle. I'd never seen a film.

• 26:04H. Foley?

  Really?

• 26:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:06H. Foley?

  The crazy thing is, is that when you borrow that forty, you spend it immediately.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  That's cool. Dude, I borrowed forty and fifteen was already due. I was paying a- I was paying the fucking deli.

• 26:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's fucking crazy.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  That sucks.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  I would be the king. I would never miss- I would never make a date either. I'll give it back to you next week. Never gonna happen.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  I would- you always had- yeah, you always have to say, "Until I get my thing," because I always had cash coming in.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  You had to chase me.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  I- when I get paid, when I get paid, when I get paid, until my check hits.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  I would always make the effort to make the payment when I felt like the charm of it was wearing off with the person.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 26:48H. Foley?

  Like-

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Have you ever paid and then asked for more money, like two days later? Like knowingly you're gonna need that hundred back? "Hey, man, here's the hundred I owe ya," and then like forty-eight hours later, you're like, "Let me borrow two fifty."

• 26:58H. Foley?

  No, but I- I'll- I was such a dirtbag, I would test the waters a little bit to see if somebody was- I don't wanna say mark. Mark is just too negative of a term.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  But in your head, that's a- that's a- that's a- that guy's a walking dollar sign to you. You're not- you're not-

• 27:15H. Foley?

  Slightly, but not-

• 27:16Speaker 02

  You're not- you know, listen, you're a- you're a master manipulator and master mater. Uh, you know, listen, I- there's people you call for cash and people you don't call for cash.

• 27:30H. Foley?

  It's just, yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  That's what it is.

• 27:32H. Foley?

  It's just more so-

• 27:33Speaker 02

  That's what we're talking about.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  More so if I knew they would play ball. So, I would maybe take out a small loan, okay? This is when I was working on the Upper East Side, I was friends with a couple of bartenders, these guys made a lot of cash. And that was kind of the, uh, society a little bit. People were borrowing off each other, you know, but they were all paying each other back and they were usually pretty big sums. It usually had a lot to do with gambling.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 28:02H. Foley?

  But if I knew-

• 28:02Speaker 02

  You're asking for nine bucks? Let me get nine bucks and a light? Book of matches?

• 28:07H. Foley?

  Put this on the jets.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 28:10H. Foley?

  I would sometimes try a couple hundred. Hey, can I borrow a couple hundred? Not really needing it. But with the intent of making sure that I gave that back to them right away. So then I could come in and get a big, you know, I need a grand.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  That was good for the 250.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  My credit's good with you, right? How good's my credit with you?

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  I never-

• 28:36H. Foley?

  And then if I didn't pay that back and they, I would sense that they would start being like, you know, this isn't funny anymore. I'd, I'd, I'd get it to them real quick. I'd figure it out.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Usually go to Peter.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  I, uh, I had, uh, I had one kid I would borrow, a friend of mine, well, you're jam, we're jammed up. You know, we're teenagers, whatever, 18, 20, whatever. Jammed up.

• 28:59H. Foley?

  Get a job!

• 29:01Speaker 02

  And, uh, I just spend it. It's just like this, it just comes out of my fingers.

• 29:06H. Foley?

  Buddy.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  It's like trying to hold water to me. I can't do it. I can't, it just slips away.

• 29:12H. Foley?

  I know kids now-

• 29:14Speaker 02

  It just slips away.

• 29:15H. Foley?

  I know kids now, my, you know, some, some, some family, younger generation, that have thousands of dollars in their savings account or whatever.

• 29:25Speaker 02

  I remember my one boy, his grandparents died and he got 10 grand.

• 29:28H. Foley?

  No, not even that.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, we threw that in his face. You got 10 grand, jerk! Fucking, I mean, we're like, I'm, I'm in a poor line over here, you're sitting there with 10 grand?

• 29:38H. Foley?

  I don't feel like these-

• 29:39Speaker 02

  The fuck am I buying your beers for? You're, I mean, it was crazy. We still throw it in his face. Shout out to, you know who you are.

• 29:46H. Foley?

  Our one buddy, uh, whose dad had passed away years before. He moved to our town because his dad had passed away. Dad had this crazy job. And-

• 29:56Speaker 02

  Hold on, I remember bragging to my mom that he had 10 grand. I go, he's got 10 grand.

• 30:03H. Foley?

  So don't write your math to him next time he's here.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  Show a little goddamn respect, yes sir.

• 30:07H. Foley?

  If he wants an extra slice of meatloaf, you give it to him.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Guy could buy and sell you, you dumb bro.

• 30:13H. Foley?

  We're all gonna be working for this guy one day.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 30:17H. Foley?

  Get the good china.

• 30:21H. Foley?

  He told us, we were tight friends, he told us that when, his dad had set up some type of thing, that when they were like thirty-five.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Imagine that.

• 30:30H. Foley?

  When they were thirty-five, each of him is something's got like,

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Got something.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  I dunno, seventy-five, something like that. And man, we thought we were all rich.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  I know, I know the, dude, my buddy got hit by a car skateboarding, he got like two-hundred-and-sixty-four grand. I was, you couldn't tell me shit if I was hanging out with him. He got half of it at eighteen and the other half, I mean, it turned to a life of, I believe, drugs and crime, but...

• 30:57H. Foley?

  Sure. But I don't think these kids are like that these days, these kids are savers. I'm not, I'm not saying they got, I'm saying it's different, they didn't get it in one fell swoop. They did it like, like they saved the money that they did-

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Like my birthday money.

• 31:10H. Foley?

  No, they saved the money that they made working last summer at some pizza place.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  It's crazy. I remember one year, Pat was-

• 31:18H. Foley?

  But the parents did a lot of that.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 31:20H. Foley?

  Cause my, I-

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Well like, my, like that would be the thing, like, I was working and my parents are like, well then you're like, you're recreational is then you're relatively independent. Like, we're not giving you money anymore, you're working, like-

• 31:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, but did your-

• 31:30Speaker 02

  You can go buy shoes, you can go spend all your money playing cards or buying theaters.

• 31:35H. Foley?

  When you were thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and you had your summer job or whatever, when you came home with your paycheck at the end of the week, say it was a hundred bucks, did your parents say, alright, you give me fifty, I'll put it in your savings account? That's what the parents are doing now.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying, yeah, you're gonna have to pry that from, hey Denise.

• 31:51H. Foley?

  That's what the parents are doing now.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 31:53H. Foley?

  Nobody taught me anything like that.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  No, there was no financial literacy, at all, at all, zero.

• 31:58H. Foley?

  But now they do that, I'm sure your fucking parents did that shit.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, but like your brother's doing well now, he knows, he understands.

• 32:04H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 32:05Speaker 02

  It's also, he was doing it in like two thousand four. They weren't doing that shit in the eighties, give me fifty percent, I'll put it in the fucking-

• 32:11H. Foley?

  I know, my brother, we knew the kid was smart enough to do it on his own.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, some people are.

• 32:14H. Foley?

  I didn't.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  No one in my crew.

• 32:16H. Foley?

  That was that pig in the straw house.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  What?

• 32:19H. Foley?

  You know the three pigs? Right?

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, you didn't have the patience for the bricks.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 32:25H. Foley?

  Fuck that. Or the money.

• 32:27Speaker 02

  Let's build this place and get some hookers over here. I just came across 200 cash.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  I remember, we were so like-

• 32:37H. Foley?

  The wolf was a drug dealer. He can blow this house down, dog.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Buddy, we're blowing all night long. Come on, and the bathroom's to the left.

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Yeah, I just, I'd never had that mentality.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Dude, I remember one summer-

• 32:50H. Foley?

  I still don't.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  We were down the shore a bunch. Pat was working at a gar- at a parking lot. Like, he was like, selling like, yeah, you pull in, you pay him the 15 bucks or whatever, and he would get cash every day. He'd get paid in cash. You couldn't tell a shit. That's just an influx of cash into the crew.

• 33:08H. Foley?

  Organization.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  With a guy who's bad with money. You know what I mean? So it's like, he's like heaters? If I'm stretched out till Friday, you know what I mean? If I only got like, fucking 25 bucks for two days down the shore, this kid's like, "I'll just go to work. I'll come back with fucking 60 bucks." That's beers, heaters, and hot dogs.

• 33:25H. Foley?

  And you're 26 bucks minus your chicken parmes and fucking hoagies.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:29H. Foley?

  That's 87 cents.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm ba- I'm ba- I'm back at the- trying to get my panini, you know what I mean?

• 33:34H. Foley?

  Man.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, great question.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Fantastic question I've never thought of.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  If not Thursday, definitely Sunday. If not Sunday, Tuesday.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Call my mother, because I'm out of town.

• 33:46H. Foley?

  Worst-case scenario, next Saturday.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  You have a good lawyer by any chance?

• 33:51H. Foley?

  I remember when my, my tenure of borrowing money ran out at the restaurant. I had finally gotten up to the owner of the restaurant.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  That's bad.

• 33:58H. Foley?

  And he was the majority, he was the richest owner.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 34:04H. Foley?

  And I was hitting him up. And he like, I think he, he'd loaned it to me, or somebody was like, "You just fucking loaned Henry the waiter money? You're out of your fucking mind."

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Man, I forget, that's so funny to me. To other people, you're Henry the waiter. Ah, god, here comes Henry the fucking waiter. He's gonna be talking about comic books and asking to borrow cash off me while he's fucking, he's stealing my heaters.

• 34:29H. Foley?

  I think behind my back I was Henry the cokehead.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  Sure. Well, Henry a lot of things, I'm sure. I don't think they stopped there, you know what I mean? Ah, man, that's great. Um, this one's just a good time. This is from Prince of Trash 1995. Shout out to you. "Hey, fellas, is it garbage if your dad and his buddies meet up at the Starbucks to sit on the patio, drink coffee, rip heaters and chill?"

• 34:51H. Foley?

  Jesus, what are they, old Greek guys?

• 34:52Speaker 02

  That's a good time. I mean, those retirees, they gotta get out of the house. They gotta hang. You know what I mean? I get that. That's a good time.

• 34:59H. Foley?

  It sucks they have to do it at a Starbucks. Nothing against Starbucks, but I always feel bad when like that's the spot. Like, your town should have a local, like, we got a local spot where at, at, at the, at the restaurant Gems, a lot of the old guys during the week, they go in and sit at the counter and they read their newspaper.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  That's standard, but I'm saying outdoor. That's great. Those like, those Starbucks is like in the strip malls, like in those, like, that's next to like a T-Mobile and a fucking Cold Stone Creamery.

• 35:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  They got the patio out front.

• 35:30H. Foley?

  They got the patio.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  You're not bothering anybody. You're posted up.

• 35:33H. Foley?

  Nice landscaping.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Everybody, everybody spends fucking four bucks, three, four bucks on a coffee. You post up for five hours. You, "Hey, old lady's breaking my balls. My kid's an idiot. You know, let me borrow 50."

• 35:45H. Foley?

  Fat one with these paninis. The hell's a panini?

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Man, I used to order panini. That's all I ever got there was.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  I think that's kind of all you still eat. You eat a lot of paninis. You eat more paninis than I would say certain sections of Europe.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, Northern Europe.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  You were the first guy I ever saw eat a panini.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  That's crazy. You worked at a restaurant. You worked in a restaurant.

• 36:07H. Foley?

  I've never had, never had paninis.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  You sound like dumps then. You ain't got no, you have no international fare?

• 36:14H. Foley?

  No, I don't think we ever had any, and I don't think I ever worked anywhere that had paninis.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  It's just fucking sandwich on a ciabatta.

• 36:22H. Foley?

  This was in Philly, I think.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  No. I, my love affair for the panini, I didn't know what.

• 36:26H. Foley?

  Was it New York?

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:27H. Foley?

  So then it was at the deli across from the lantern, the Bleecker Street Deli.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  No, no, you're all wrong. I remember the first time I had a panini.

• 36:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, but the first time I saw you.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Which is pretty much as a flatbread sandwich, if we're being honest.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  It's, it's a flatbread with a lid on it.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  Which, by the way, shout out to.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, you were the first one. You were the first guy I ever saw order a panini.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Really?

• 36:55H. Foley?

  And I thought it was crazy.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Well, no.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  I was like, what have I gotten myself involved in here?

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Oh, there, this kid's down bad.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  You're eating one of the sandwiches that's already made? I didn't understand that at all.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  I forgot.

• 37:07H. Foley?

  I thought they were just for show.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  I get paninis here.

• 37:10H. Foley?

  I know you do.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  I forgot about that, yeah. If I go to the deli, I get a panini.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  You throw away your pickle in coleslaw.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  I tell them not to give it to me. I say, just, just.

• 37:18H. Foley?

  Your icky stuff.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  I didn't order a pickle panini. That shit bleeds, okay?

• 37:24H. Foley?

  I don't want the salad.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  That's what I say. I go, ah, just the sandwich. I don't need all the other stuff. They give me fucking cabbage and shit. I'm trying to eat a goddamn panini over here.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Uh, no, the panini, first panini I ever had, remember, remember, it was like yesterday, was at the West 4th Street Diner. They used to do that monster panini.

• 37:48H. Foley?

  That's a focaccia. Wasn't that on focaccia?

• 37:50Speaker 02

  No, it was a panini on focaccia. It was a panini. It was a.

• 37:53H. Foley?

  Is there such a thing? That was the first time you had one?

• 37:56Speaker 02

  He had one?

• 37:56H. Foley?

  Then you got a taste for it and started ordering on the street.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Sure. Well, those, they, they make them fresh every day. They turn quick. A lot of turnover on them paninis.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  You know that. But it was 8.95 for a monster panini and I, and fries, and I'd split it with, uh, I think Dr. Rubenoff was the first person. He goes, "These paninis are pretty good deals." I said, "Let's go. Chicken parm panini out the door. Come, it'd be the size of your head." Sometimes you take, if you get it yourself, you take it home and go have dinner at night.

• 38:28H. Foley?

  Man, you stay.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, you say that.

• 38:35H. Foley?

  Paninis are good, though.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  I tell you what, what are we talking about here? It's meat and cheese and bread.

• 38:40H. Foley?

  Press down.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  They're the only things I, that's the only three things I need. Meat, cheese, and bread.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Ah, you can save all the other stuff. Get your carrots, kick rocks, okay? Cucumbers, icky.

• 38:55H. Foley?

  You don't like coleslaw, I'll tell you that.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  It's like newspaper shaving.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  Are you shredding documents? Feds will never think to look in here.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  I used to get a grilled cheese out when I was a kid and go to like a nice restaurant. Not a nice restaurant, you go to a restaurant.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  Throw an orange slice on there, you freak out.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Man, they come out with the, dude, you should, I would clock the tray coming out of the, coming out of the kitchen to see what kind of accoutrement was on my grilled cheese. And if they had, you know, coleslaw or something, I gave my mom the side eye to say, fucking play defense on this, get it up, get it out.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  Like a trial? Total loser.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  God damn, that's funny.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  Okay, okay, let's talk about BlueChew, baby.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Boner alert, boner alert.

• 39:48H. Foley?

  Got me through the honeymoon, shout out to BlueChew. Listen, you get a little bit older, you get a little bit heavier, things start slowing down a little bit, things start shrinking, need a little something to boost you up, get the blood flowing through the body. BlueChew, same drug as Cialis, Viagra.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Levitra.

• 40:06H. Foley?

  Levitra, delivered right to your home. What are we doing here? You want to spice up a Wednesday night with the bird? Get a little BlueChew.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Also, if you're young and in good shape, why don't you take it and see what happens? I ain't, I ain't know, that's gotta be crazy.

• 40:17H. Foley?

  Show off?

• 40:18Speaker 02

  I'll put you on the moon or something. Uh, BlueChew is putting its money where its mouth is on offering you a free month. Uh, the process is simple, sign up at BlueChew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers. Once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. Uh, you can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever the opportunity arises, is my favorite thing. BlueChew tablets are made in the USA. Prepared and shipped directly to your door. I'm talking homegrown bones, dog. Uh, make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com. Uh, we got a special deal for our listeners, try your first month free of BlueChew for free, visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  Get factor.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Shout out to factor.

• 41:01H. Foley?

  Talking about factor meals, baby, been with us for a long time.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 41:04H. Foley?

  Got some sitting in the fridge right now. I'm about to have myself one. Gang, trying to lose weight this, uh,

• 41:10Speaker 02

  January.

• 41:11H. Foley?

  January, spring's coming around, summer's right around the corner. Busy schedule after the holidays. Don't let your nutrition sacrifice. Listen, I eat them because I like them. All right, let's call balls and strikes.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 41:23H. Foley?

  I eat them because they're goddamn delicious.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 41:25H. Foley?

  They take two minutes, right on the plate, out of the microwave, fresh, fantastic, unbelievable. They can help you lose weight, too.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, factor has chef-made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved, they're ready to heat, as the big man said, in two minutes. It can fuel you right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. It's easy, it's, I lean on them a lot when we're traveling, when we're doing this, we got a crazy schedule. You go, I come, I know they're sitting in the fridge, I go, I'm gonna throw my factor. Hopefully shredded chicken taco bowl.

• 41:53H. Foley?

  I lean on them because I'm hungry.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 41:55H. Foley?

  And they're delicious.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Sure, no, it's great, uh, but they have, you have 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. Easy to pick, tailored to your goals. If you want to do keto, calorie, protein plus, whatever you want. They can help you, uh, with the best all day. They have smoothies, breakfast, grabbing goes, add them, whatever you want.

• 42:10H. Foley?

  All that good stuff.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  They got you taken care of. If you're trying to, if you're trying to reel it in and not get fatter, that's all I'm trying to do is not get fatter and, and factor's helping me. Eat smart with factor. Get started at factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com/garbage50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Now, back to the show.

• 42:35H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Uh, all right, this one's from Tootie's Tennis Elbow, $10 homie, never had one read. You's ever had your dad cork your bat so you could win a little league homerun derby? And the grand prize was a new propane grill?

• 42:45H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  I, I mean, come on.

• 42:48H. Foley?

  Who knows how to do that?

• 42:49Speaker 02

  What, cork a bat?

• 42:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  I think it's pretty easy, no?

• 42:52H. Foley?

  Drill a hole?

• 42:53Speaker 02

  In a bat?

• 42:54H. Foley?

  That's nuts.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  I think you're just drilling a hole and then you, you, you fucking cork it or whatever.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  I thought you had to buy that. I thought you bought corked bats. I don't need to do it yourself. How do you cover up the hole in the bottom?

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Think you like, no, it's at the top. You cork the top of the bat, don't you?

• 43:08H. Foley?

  No, you cork the base, where the, where the thick part is.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the top of the bat. The bottom of the bat you hold.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's what you think the top is?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  What?

• 43:19H. Foley?

  The top of the bat to me is what you hold. That's the top of the bat. In my head.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  And the bottom is what hits the ball.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:28H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  What are you, living on the moon? I mean, that's just...

• 43:32H. Foley?

  Because if I put a bat, if I stand a bat up, I'm standing it up.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Upside down.

• 43:38H. Foley?

  No. Not to me. That's right side up. Like, what's the top of that guitar? The, the, the, uh...

• 43:47Speaker 02

  But you're all, so you're classifying as the top of it because that's what it stands on?

• 43:51H. Foley?

  Because that's the top part of it when it works.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  What's the top of that chair?

• 43:55H. Foley?

  The fucking headrest.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Well, why? It's sitting on the base there. That would, with that logic. You're saying it's the top because it stands up?

• 44:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, that chair is standing up.

• 44:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, and the top is fucking up there. Up the top, the back of it.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Am I nuts?

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Well, how are you supposed to hold the bat?

• 44:13H. Foley?

  Hold it like that.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Exactly. So what's the bottom when you're holding it?

• 44:17Speaker 02

  He's up there, the thing you hit with. That's the, the top of the bat is the, what are we talking about here? That's insane to me.

• 44:23H. Foley?

  Okay, then how do you cover that hole at the, at the top of the bat?

• 44:26Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  With a cork and sawdust.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you like patch it. Like you would like, if you got like a hole in your fucking table.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  Anyway, that's a fucking scumbag.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Sure, but that's a, hey...

• 44:35H. Foley?

  Got a nice new propane grill, though.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, fuck all that. I, I'm with it.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  That's pretty good, the kid was...

• 44:40Speaker 02

  It's also like, you're not gonna get jammed up. Yeah, I mean, it's not like they're gonna like print charges on you. You're not gonna, they're not gonna ban you from the Hall of Fame or anything.

• 44:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, I think if you, if you got caught doing that in a little league, that you would, your kid would get kicked out. That would be a problem.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Move to the next town. They don't know.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  Run this game again.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Start corking them bats.

• 45:02H. Foley?

  Man. Kid must've been pretty good, though, if that was the only difference.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I would, I would argue at that age, I, it probably doesn't make that much of a difference, right? Because it's like, doesn't it change?

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Most, most of those bats are also pretty like juiced up, like at little league levels.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Sure, they're not like, yeah, they're like...

• 45:22H. Foley?

  Oh, those metal ones are. Like the Wave, you ever see the Wave one where there's water in it? Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:30H. Foley?

  We were using wooden ones when I was a kid.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Never had that.

• 45:34H. Foley?

  I don't think there were aluminum bats like in our little league. Hey, Hansy.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  Hey, buddy. Go to your bed. Go to your bed.

• 45:41H. Foley?

  You gonna take a dump?

• 45:42Speaker 02

  He probably does. Alright, this one's from Nick. $10 hoagie here. Uh, is it garbage if your oral surgeon not only has, but wants you to use his 5% cash discount? That's...

• 45:54H. Foley?

  Yes. And I think sometimes in certain settings, I don't, listen...

• 45:59Speaker 02

  I feel that's still a place where that plays ball. Cash really plays ball with dentists.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  It's like dentists and contractors, the only ones still doing it.

• 46:07H. Foley?

  I feel like that's like getting your oil changed.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  They're like mechanics. I mean, like, while they did go to dentist, medical school, whatever, I don't wanna, I'm not throwing shade.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  No.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  But...

• 46:16H. Foley?

  Oral surgeon, that's a doctor.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  I mean, you pull one tooth...

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's a doctor.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  You pull them all.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  You gotta be an M.D. for that, I think. You gotta go to medical school to be an oral surgeon.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, you know, I mean, they're mechanics at the end of the day.

• 46:33H. Foley?

  I agree. I just think, I don't know, that's a little skeevy. It, listen...

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Why?

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Uh, do I appreciate it? Do I get it? Yes. Is it garbage? Yes. That's all I'm saying. And to, you know why he's doing that? Keeping off the books.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Oh, thanks, fucking IRS Jimmy. Yeah, no shit. That's the, of course, that's what I, yeah.

• 46:53H. Foley?

  To see that kind of behavior from a guy sticking his fingers in your mouth.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  That's the kinda guy I want sticking his fingers in my mouth, if I'm being honest with you. Somebody who's been around a block, he knows.

• 47:03H. Foley?

  Gives you one of these.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  Well, I got you, didn't I? He's just fucking with you.

• 47:07H. Foley?

  Just testing the waters.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I mean, that would, a dentist, the dentistry realm is the only medical world where that's okay. I feel, and I don't know why it is, it just feels okay to me.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  You going in for surgery, you give me cash.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Well, like, a lot of times they do it in their house and shit. It's like, that's, yeah, I, I, I, I mean, you got a, you got an office in your house, that's off the books.

• 47:31H. Foley?

  5% less.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  5%, that should be 10% if we're talking, I mean, 5% is alright, but...

• 47:36H. Foley?

  I've noticed that a lot more. It's gonna be this if you're paying cash.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  I want more people to say it to me. I got some work done in the burbs and I was chomping at the bit for them to say cash. I've offered cash to one guy, he said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, oh." Said, "You are not the guy, okay?"

• 47:53Speaker 02

  When you get someone who's got a little...

• 47:54H. Foley?

  Get your fingers out of my mouth.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Sorry, I'm a plumber.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you are. What? This one's just funny. This isn't Travis. How many Band-Aids on a wound before you hit the ER? That's pretty good.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I never didn't have a wound that didn't close. I had a, I had a chunk taken out of my leg. I got hit by a bike. My buddy James hit me on his bike.

• 48:20H. Foley?

  It would take a lot for Patty to take you to the ER for a cut.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  Oh, cut, yeah.

• 48:25H. Foley?

  Yeah. Head, something like that.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  What is that? The quickest, I had a pool basketball net, hit in the wind, fall down and hit me in the head, busted me open right here, no big deal.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  Those are bleeders, too.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I went underwater and I came up and the water diluted up, dude.

• 48:41H. Foley?

  I would have freaked. That's not a shark's game.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Dude, it was bad. I gotta give them to my family. I think I was in the hospital.

• 48:48H. Foley?

  They sued the shit out of that.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  It was their house. I was at the hospital within fifteen minutes. Like, I came up and some, I think my stepmom was like, "Oh, my god." I hopped in the car and we were...

• 49:00H. Foley?

  Look at his tits.

• 49:01Speaker 02

  We were, we were ghosted. First time I told the, told the hospital organization I catch heaters.

• 49:08H. Foley?

  Really? Why?

• 49:09Speaker 02

  He's like, "You smoke?" I'm like, "Yeah, I do." I wanted to be a tough guy.

• 49:12H. Foley?

  What am I, a fucking loser?

• 49:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. What, are you?

• 49:14H. Foley?

  What's that gotta do with anything?

• 49:16Speaker 02

  They, I don't know.

• 49:17H. Foley?

  They're just pumping you for information. What, do you need one? Now, what's the cash deal here?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  You do ten percent?

• 49:24H. Foley?

  The head bleeds. But Patty was big, which I think I've told you before, big on what they call the butterfly.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  The butterfly stitch.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  We had the, we had, we had packs of butterflies in the house.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  It's just like a souped-up Band-Aid.

• 49:37H. Foley?

  Pulls it tight.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, so she was all about that. "I'll butterfly it."

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 49:41H. Foley?

  Took a lot for her to fucking drop cash for a stitch. Some shit she could do at the house with a little super glue.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  We all broke a lot of bones and it would be like if you couldn't make it through the night, if you woke up at three in the morning going, "I, my arm's fucking definitely broken." She'd go out. It was always, "We'll take you in the morning."

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Going and paying a co-pay, get x-rays, it's like eighty bucks.

• 50:04H. Foley?

  That's something you do with a dog. If he's not shitting in the morning, we'll take him.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Uh huh, that's what they would do if he couldn't make it through the night.

• 50:10H. Foley?

  That's a rough night. Those nights where you had to go to bed with something like that sucked. I went to bed a lot of nights with warts. It would just stuff on there and it burned so bad you couldn't sleep. Cause Patty would take the top layer of skin off.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Alright, easy, easy, easy oral surgeon over here.

• 50:28H. Foley?

  It's fucked up.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  I give you five percent not to tell the story.

• 50:30H. Foley?

  She'd sit there smoking a heater with tweezers, peeling it off, and then drop it.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  She did that at the wedding. She had like tweezers or something. She's like, "I gotta go pull something out of someone's foot or something."

• 50:41H. Foley?

  At, at the wedding?

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Not at the wedding, but at the, in Hawaii. We were by the pool. She's like, "I gotta go." I was catching a heater with her. "I gotta go." And she sends someone up to get her tools. I guess she rolls with like a, you know, like the butchers have, like the chefs have that thing wrapped up. She puts all like fucking medieval tools she's got.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  Here comes the ripper.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  It's all just different heaters. She lights them up. Yeah. "I gotta get a splinter out of Megan's foot."

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Oh, she loves pulling splinters. And we got that deck, bad deck, bad. That deck's been there thirty years like that. And every year they get it, sand it down a little bit and throw a fresh coat of paint on it. But by fucking-

• 51:25Speaker 02

  You can tell that thing's been painted five hun- it's like a pre-war building.

• 51:28H. Foley?

  By late July, that thing's splintering. And I remember my nephew or niece had a fucking splinter in there, like, it looked like a toothpick. And man, fucking.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Like McConaughey ripping the butt?

• 51:44H. Foley?

  Dude, she's in there digging that thing out. She loved it. "Stop! Hold him!"

• 51:51H. Foley?

  Kids screaming.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Broad's twisted, dude.

• 51:53H. Foley?

  I think she liked it when you were in pain.

• 51:56H. Foley?

  Like to hear you yell.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, this one's from Exfoliator. Is it garbage if you thought a family member being twice removed meant they got kicked out, gained everyone's trust back, then got kicked out again? I swear to God, I thought that. I for sure thought that. Of like, he's been banished. You know what I mean? Like, that's what I thought. Once removed, twice removed.

• 52:17H. Foley?

  What's the, what's the word when you get kicked out of the family?

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Uh, ban, uh...

• 52:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Disowned?

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Disowned, yeah. Twice disowned?

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Just like, alright, we'll let him back, and then Gary did it again? Get the hell out of here, Gary. That's the second time, you're out of here.

• 52:32H. Foley?

  I always felt bad when that happened to people. When their family would disown them. Cause I feel like...

• 52:38Speaker 02

  I got a couple of them. I mean, disowned sounds like a dog.

• 52:42H. Foley?

  Being true trash, you know, even, you might hate them, you still, you still let them come over and shit like that. Like, they're, they're, like, my parents, I don't think ever would've kicked me out of the house.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  They should've. Maybe I'd, maybe I'd be a little more responsible.

• 52:57H. Foley?

  Where was that gonna go?

• 52:58Speaker 02

  What? Uh, join the army or something. Guy like you, be up there riffing.

• 53:02H. Foley?

  Twelve years old.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  I mean, well, no one's disowning a twelve-year-old. You know what I mean?

• 53:09H. Foley?

  I've seen it.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  I know a kid, a kid in our neighborhood got sent to military school or something. But this was also like before, you, you never saw him.

• 53:19H. Foley?

  It was right after nine eleven. Playing for keeps.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  It might, it was probably, it was before nine eleven.

• 53:24H. Foley?

  You never saw him?

• 53:25Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 53:25H. Foley?

  He was, that was it?

• 53:27Speaker 02

  No, I, I know him now, but I'm just saying, like, he can't...

• 53:29H. Foley?

  I feel like you just come back a better killer. When you do that shit. A more educated psychopath.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Like, going to jail. He can learn how to sell blow. Uh, yeah, no, he, but like, he was just this, this, oh, that's fucking so-and-so. He, he goes to, his parents shipped him out. We were like, god damn, this loveless, how, like, that's insane, shipping a kid off.

• 53:52H. Foley?

  I know. We had a couple of times where, uh, friends of my brother stayed with us for like, a couple of months. Like, yeah, his parents kicked him out. It's like, I knew the parents. It's like, what the fuck? You dump them on us? I'm sleeping with this psychopath in the next room.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Wake up, he's standing over you.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  Hey, Henry.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 54:12H. Foley?

  He was the coolest kid in school, so I didn't mind. Keith Cody, shout out to him. R.I.P. Good looking. Looked like Brad Pitt, like proper looked like Brad Pitt.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 54:21H. Foley?

  Two years older than him. He had the coolest t-shirts, coolest kid ever.

• 54:27H. Foley?

  Parents kicked him out. He stayed with us for a couple of weeks.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Couldn't have been that cool.

• 54:30H. Foley?

  He was very cool. Pulled into school with him.

• 54:34H. Foley?

  Hey, doing, honey?

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Parents don't even like him. What are you talking about?

• 54:38H. Foley?

  He's a troubled kid.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Sure. Uh, alright, let's see here, um... This is from Harrison. "Is it garbage if your parents are technically step siblings? My dad's dad married my mom's mom 10 years ago, so now I get screwed with only one side of the family gets for Christmas gifts." What? So his mom's mom...

• 55:00H. Foley?

  His mom's mom.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Was single. His grandmother, his maternal grandmother was single, his paternal grandfather was single, and they got together. That's gotta be small-town shit. I don't know, though. Those old people don't get out that much, so like, they, they see each other at the... "Oh, well, dad's a little... My dad's by himself, my mom's by herself, bring them over for Christmas." And then they meet, and then they go get coffee, and they start...

• 55:24H. Foley?

  I still don't have my head wrapped around that.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  That's a real juicy Lucy.

• 55:26H. Foley?

  Well, okay, so, okay, so you have a couple. A mom and a dad.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:31H. Foley?

  The dad has a dad, who's single, the mom has a mom, who's single.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:35H. Foley?

  After the fact, after they've had families and stuff like that, obviously. The mom died, the, the grandmother died, the, the...

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Whatever, yeah.

• 55:41H. Foley?

  Grandfather died. Then they start getting together.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  That's kinda okay, I mean, like, there's...

• 55:47H. Foley?

  At that point...

• 55:49Speaker 02

  It depends how old they are. If they're like, in their sixties.

• 55:52H. Foley?

  Those presents probably start to suck at a certain point, anyway.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 55:54H. Foley?

  There's always a certain point where grandparents' presents start to suck.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Man, that reminded me of, do you see when they, there's that thing going around where they just took stuff from the grandmother's house and gave it as the gifts? Which also reminds me, did you ever see this, this guy? There was like a YouTube prank, there was two guys owned a pawn shop?

• 56:11H. Foley?

  Oh, it's great.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  And the one, the one guy gave the other guy access to...

• 56:14H. Foley?

  Where'd you get this stuff?

• 56:15Speaker 02

  Seriously, "I got a t-shirt, just liked it, yeah, I don't know, man." Holy shit, I got...

• 56:19H. Foley?

  Call the cops.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  Call the cops, this guy stole all my shit. That's great. Yeah, uh, yeah, I'm alright with that. I guess, I mean, like, it's not.

• 56:29H. Foley?

  Think they're boning?

• 56:30Speaker 02

  It's not incestual at any point. Like, all the bloodline has already been built out.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would assume they're boning. I mean, those old be- I mean, it's well documented, those old people.

• 56:40H. Foley?

  Get after it.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Bone zone. You know, they don't, it's not like they have, like, social circles, so it's like.

• 56:47H. Foley?

  Somebody to go to Applebee's with during the day.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're spending.

• 56:49H. Foley?

  Pick her up from the hairdresser.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Spending time together, it's more social, it's more like, you know. Unless they're like freaks, they got sex swings and stuff.

• 56:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I don't know, though.

• 56:58H. Foley?

  I don't see that in the cards for Patty.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  What?

• 57:01H. Foley?

  You know, having a friend.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Uh, you never know, though.

• 57:04H. Foley?

  Unless she does, and I don't know.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  I mean, listen, the way he was all over me at that wedding, there's no way she's not.

• 57:11H. Foley?

  Who you been pulling splinters out of, eh?

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would say, I mean, I don't know, I wouldn't say, you know.

• 57:20H. Foley?

  I think if I went home and the guy was in my house.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  You'd have sex with him, too?

• 57:25H. Foley?

  I'd have a problem with it. If I saw another guy rooting through, going through my dad's refrigerator. I would have a problem with it. Making himself, getting real comfortable here, aren't you?

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, what, the guy can't make a, the guy can't grab a cold drink? He's busy, been boning your mom all day.

• 57:42H. Foley?

  Good luck in, good luck in that house.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  I like getting a cold drink.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  She's got nothing in there.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Two ice cubes?

• 57:48H. Foley?

  Fucking brutal.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I don't think my mom would either. I don't, you never know, though.

• 57:56H. Foley?

  She's young, and she's ten years, ten years younger than my mom.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  Really?

• 58:01H. Foley?

  I think so.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  No.

• 58:03H. Foley?

  Looks wise.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Jesus, my sister and your brother are like the same age.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  I don't think they are.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  How old's your brother?

• 58:11H. Foley?

  Fifty.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Oh, he's fifty? How old are you, oh, I keep forgetting, you're forty-eight.

• 58:17H. Foley?

  Uh. Late bloomer.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're my, I guess, yeah, I don't, your mom's not.

• 58:21H. Foley?

  I'm your sister's age.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  What year was your mom born?

• 58:25H. Foley?

  Fifty-one?

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's four years older than my mom.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  World of difference.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  You hear that, mom?

• 58:34H. Foley?

  I just got hooked up here.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  What?

• 58:36H. Foley?

  I just got married.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  So?

• 58:38H. Foley?

  I can't be dating your mom.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  First of all, no one mentioned anything about that.

• 58:46H. Foley?

  Yeah, I wouldn't like that.

• 58:50H. Foley?

  Might get her cooking again, though.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  I mean, hey.

• 58:53H. Foley?

  You know, that's a big thing with me.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm aware. You're mean to your widowed mother.

• 58:58H. Foley?

  No, I just think it'd be better for her if she started cooking for herself instead of eating out.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  You know?

• 59:06Speaker 02

  And then maybe, you know, a couple of cutlets fall your way.

• 59:10H. Foley?

  She does cutlets.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  Maybe a panini.

• 59:12H. Foley?

  She does cutlets for the kids, but that's in like a mass production. One Sunday, she'll knock out like 300 cutlets. She'll bring them to this family, that family, the other family. But on a regular cooking.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  Those are all my dad's recipes, though, and I don't want her sharing that with some fucking asshole.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  Some fucking plumber.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  What's wrong with plumbers? My family's plumbers.

• 59:36H. Foley?

  Fine for your crew?

• 59:39H. Foley?

  This is a house of learned doctors.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  This one's just funny. This is from Larry Vaynerchuk. Do you have any ex-best friends? That's a dirtbag thing. "You used to be my best friend." Real dirtbag shit. This one's funny. "Choo Choo Chang, you ever hit the clean button on the oven?"

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  That seems so dangerous to me, even my knowledge of what I know now.

• 1:00:05H. Foley?

  I didn't like putting the broiler on. Scared burn the house down.

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  My wife tries to do it. I go, "Knock it off." I go, "Stop. This is why we don't use the broiler."

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  Nobody cleans the oven like that anymore, do they? I thought that stopped years ago, because I remember my mom, like on a Sunday night, would go in with the Easy Off or oven spray.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  When you turn it on, right?

• 1:00:22H. Foley?

  And then crank it up to like 9 million.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  And those, that could not have been good for you at all. Chemicals and high temperatures could not have been good for the family.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  I've never cleaned a stove. I'll like wet a paper towel and like do that.

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  I'll do scrubbing on top with the Palm Oliver or the Fantastic Cut Degrease.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  I don't like using chemicals and I feel like I don't get them out and then I'm like cooking with chemmies.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  You got all that grease and shit in there?

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  There's not that much grease.

• 1:00:52H. Foley?

  You frying burgers?

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Frying, I'm not cooking burgers juicy loosey's in the goddamn oven.

• 1:00:58H. Foley?

  Oh, in the, I thought you meant on top of the stove.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  No, yeah, of course, no, the oven.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  Okay, that's different, yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I know that's different.

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  I've never cleaned an oven.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  No, that's what I'm saying, the only thing I'll do it is if, if, say I was making like a DiGiorno or something, and the cheese falls on the bottom, you know, because I go, I go tray, or pan list, the cheese falls from the rack down on the thing and that'll burn, I'll get that stuff off because that'll just keep setting the smoke alarm off, everybody knows that.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  Speaking of DiGiorno, I think it was about a week ago, I saw you with a, uh, Stouffer's French bread.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  It's not, yes, yes, yes, you did.

• 1:01:34H. Foley?

  Ladies out of town, cooking for yourself, huh?

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  Man, I, uh...

• 1:01:39H. Foley?

  Real patty move.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got home, this, I had that din din, the su-

• 1:01:44H. Foley?

  You went extra cheese, which is a strange choice.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  The supermarket was closing, I had, there was-

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  Alright, get in there real quick.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  There was blood in the water for a frozen za, and I like a DiGiorno, but that, I eat the whole thing and that's a lot, that's a heavy... I, I didn't want to, I was trying to be, you know, so I went and I was-

• 1:02:03H. Foley?

  You eat the whole thing?

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Oh, 100%.

• 1:02:06H. Foley?

  That crust is so good.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  I do two, like, no, like, I cut it into quarters.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  I do two slices, so half, I go back and get one half, I lie to myself, and then after that settles, I go back and that, now that fourth one's cold, like an hour and a half later, I can take that down.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  That frozen, that, that cooked frozen pie sitting on the fucking, uh, cutting board in the kitchen.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Nothing better, dude. I was all, dude, that was all of the pandemic when I was down in Wildwood, I buy the, the sig- I think it was like the Signature, whatever Acne's brand is, like Signature Class, or Si- and man, it was a knockoff DiGiorno, it was better because it wasn't as thick, it was a little thinner, man, and I would crush, that was, get it perfectly golden brown, put it on a big cutting board, woo, get my, get my-

• 1:02:52H. Foley?

  Let it sit there for the neighborhood to see.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  I got it posted up, it's on an angle, like, like you're, like it's a slight shop.

• 1:02:58H. Foley?

  You put it on the windowsill like an old pie?

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Woo, nothing to see here, just a Signature deep dish.

• 1:03:04H. Foley?

  Couple of escaped convicts trying to steal it out of the window. They're always doing that. They're always stealing pies out of the window.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  I don't think that really ever, I mean, that was probably like three things that, you know.

• 1:03:13H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll go fuck myself.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  I mean, like, this is like the oldest tr- have you ever put a pie out to cool down?

• 1:03:18H. Foley?

  No, I have a refrigerator. I don't need to. Back then, they didn't have refrigeration. They put it on the windows.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Also, I've said before, well documented, that is my move. I cut the two, I cut the pizza that's hot as shit. Take that, put on a plate.

• 1:03:31H. Foley?

  Throw it in the friz?

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Throw it in the freezer. And I take my drinks and I put them out. I put them out by the, on the, by the couch where I'm gonna sit. And this whole time, I'm cool. And then I come back, I pet the dog, "Hey, how you doing?" And then I go pull it out about 35 seconds. Woo, doggy. Then by the time I eat those, the other ones are room, not room temp, but edible.

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  This is why he's running the company, gang. My brain's buying the operation.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Lopinini, man. Alright, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:04:00H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:04:02H. Foley?

  See you next week.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  Peace.