SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 145 - Do Not Pass Go! (w/ Scotty Icenogle)

On this special Monopoly-themed episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes invite Sean’s husband Scotty Icenogle to play a new game where the instructions are very simple: Do Not Pass Go! Elliott will give a series of clues, and every answer ends in the letters G-O. The questions increase in difficulty, leading to a MegaClue round where they are worth five points each! Subscribe to ClueLess HERE. New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  Hey smarties, it's Sean Hayes here. You may remember that we launched a new bite-sized game show last year called Clueless. In every episode, our hilarious host Elliot Kalin takes me and a friend of mine through a different game, and sometimes they're word puzzles, or chains of common phrases, or robots singing songs we have to guess. It's a whole lot of fun. Here's a special Monopoly themed episode that came out today, sponsored by our friends at Hasbro, where my husband, oh, I want to say Scotty. That's it. My husband, Scotty, Isonokal, and I play a special Monopoly themed game called Do Not Pass Go.

• 0:34Sean Hayes?

  Today's episode of Clueless is sponsored by Monopoly, and their three brand-new expansions, which you can add on to your classic Monopoly board to add new ways to play and to make the game shorter. All three are available now. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Congratulations, you have won a second prize in a beauty contest. It's even better than first prize, because now you've got a goal to work towards. This is Clueless.

• 1:15Sean Hayes?

  I'm Clueless.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Welcome to Smartless Presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that only asks 15 minutes of your time and offers you so much in return. I'm your host Elliott Kalin, or at least that's what my parents told me. Now, please welcome the man who thinks community chest means everyone wants to see him take his shirt off, Sean Hayes.

• 1:35Sean Hayes?

  Believe me, that, you talk about horror films, that would be a horror film. Not that you were talking about horror films. Guys, thank you. Elliot, thank you for having me again. This is so, so much fun. I look forward to this every single time we do it, because I love games, I love you, I love this show, I love everything about it, but I love even more than all of those things.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Is that possible? There's something you love more than those things.

• 1:57Sean Hayes?

  Uh huh. Chocolate cake. And my husband Scotty, I snuggle who's here as well. Scotty, uh, where are you right now?

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Hi, can you hear me? Can you hear me?

• 2:06Sean Hayes?

  Yes. What part of the, of the city in the town are you in? And where are you exactly right now?

• 2:10Speaker 02

  I'm actually in the next room.

• 2:12Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's spooky. That's very spooky. All right.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Well, welcome. The idea of him being in the same house as you is, is

• 2:19Sean Hayes?

  Very creepy and weird.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Very upsetting. Yeah. This is why we have the couple houses.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. You know, when you said, uh, love more than anything else, I thought you were gonna say Pop Tarts, but

• 2:30Sean Hayes?

  Oh, Pop Tarts.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Chocolate, chocolate cake.

• 2:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, Snickers too, and Paydays and stuff like that.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Scotty is quickly getting knocked out of the top five. That's disappointing.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Today's episode, it's about the world of Monopoly. Ooh, it's our special Monopoly episode. That's right, Monopoly, the game of wheeling and dealing and stealing from the bank when your friends are in the bathroom. So let's take the B and O railroad over to wherever B and O are for today's first cliffhanger puzzle. Now, without the make you wait for the answer feature. That's right. We're going to give you today's cliffhanger puzzles and then you'll get the answers today. Thanks to the fine people at Monopoly. Now to add even more Monopoly to this Monopoly episode, we have a selection of possible Monopoly trivia questions at our disposal. One each for each of the three new Monopoly expansion packs. Free parking, go to jail, and buy everything. And also, a question about the Monopoly tokens

• 3:24Speaker 01

  themselves, and one about all the special edition boards that have been made over the years for Monopoly. To decide which of those various trivia question categories we'll be asking, I will have Sean spin the spinner from the free parking expansion set. Sean,

• 3:38Sean Hayes?

  I can't wait.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Set that spinner spinning.

• 3:40Sean Hayes?

  I haven't done this since college. There we go.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Up, and it landed on Monopoly tokens. That will be the category for today's trivia question. Excellent spinning. Great spinning, Sean.

• 3:50Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, thank you. It's on the wrist.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Well spun.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  So today's first puzzle is a trivia question that goes thusly. Which of these has never been a token in the standard Monopoly game set? And your choices are T-Rex, the T stands for Tyrannosaurus, Cannon, Goose, or Sack of Money. Which of these has never been a token in the standard Monopoly set? Again, your choices are T-Rex, the dinosaur, not the band, Cannon, Goose, or Sack of Money.

• 4:20Sean Hayes?

  Over the years, because you know, I grew up playing it when they didn't have any of those. But I know they-

• 4:24Speaker 01

  There was, you had to make your own pieces out of corn cobs and acorns, things like that.

• 4:29Sean Hayes?

  And we actually had to purchase property with our own money. It was really, yeah, it was really put us out.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  With the legal script that came-

• 4:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was very real. Yeah. Um, wait, Scotty, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna say T-Rex because that's so absurd that it sounds like it is a real thing. It is a real thing, right? I'm gonna say- Goose? Goose. Yeah, that was my instinct. That was mine, yeah.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  All right, let's see. By order of Milburn Rich Uncle Pennybags, which yes, is the Monopoly Man's legal name, if you don't believe me, look up his birth certificate, it's on file, I shall reveal to you that you are correct. Yes, the answer is the Goose. Monopoly has never had a goose-shaped token. The Cannon was in the original 1935 set. The Sack of Money was voted for by the public and appeared in sets from the late 90s to 2007, kind of on the nose, we call the juice Sack of Money for Monopoly. And the T-Rex was briefly introduced in 2017. I assume it's extinct now. Nice work.

• 5:20Sean Hayes?

  Ah, nice. Yes. Nice, nice. That's interesting. That's really, I love that kind of stuff. Yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Well, get ready, you're gonna learn more Monopoly stuff later in this episode.

• 5:37Sean Hayes?

  Thank you to Monopoly for supporting today's episode.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Clueless listeners, Monopoly has created three new ways to play with expansions you add on to your classic Monopoly set.

• 5:46Sean Hayes?

  If you want to own the whole board, the Buy Everything expansion lets you do just that. That's right, every space on the board is up for grabs.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Go to jail, buy it. Free parking, yep, that too. And with the Buy Die, you get even more ways to win fast.

• 6:00Sean Hayes?

  If you're the kind of person who likes to press their luck, like El- The free parking jackpot expansion is your jam. Land on free parking, spin the wheel and boom, cash in big. But don't get too comfortable because it's risky. One spin could have you rolling in money or losing it all. It's high stakes, fast and definitely for the competitive players.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  And if you're a mastermind who loves a little chaos, like Sean, the go to jail expansion is a game changer. Jail isn't a punishment, it's strategic. Bribe, steal and collect corruption cards to mess with your opponents. Turns out crime does pay, at least in Monopoly.

• 6:31Sean Hayes?

  So whether you're a risk taker, rule breaker or moneymaker, Monopoly has three new expansion packs for you to explore. Pick your pack or grab all three and let the game get a whole lot more exciting.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Available now on Amazon. All is fair in Monopoly expansions.

• 6:46Sean Hayes?

  Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Listeners, did you get the answer right? If so, I give you permission to win money when you land on free parking. The rules say you can't, but you've earned it. Like, just go for it. Why not? Nobody's watching. But before you spend your ill-gotten gains, let's play today's main game, which is called Do Not Pass Go.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  I can't wait. I can't wait for the Clueless album.

• 7:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  It's gonna be great.

• 7:32Sean Hayes?

  I know. I love every song. The show gets longer and longer.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's no better song than a song that has copyright information in the song. Just in case you have any questions about it. Yeah. Well, any Monopoly player knows that passing go is essential to staying alive in the game and possibly in real life, too. So naturally, Clueless is here to make that a little difficult, to make sure that neither of you pass go. I'm going to give you clues to guess a series of words and phrases that end with the letters G-O. Remember, they always end in G-O. You're not passing go because there's no letters after G-O. Oh, I understand. I understand. You never pass and go. The letters end in G-O. Right, right. The ones that you're gonna guess, so you don't say pass that. Before go. The other letters go before go. What if during, what if during the instructions you pass a kidney stone? Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, then I'll know from the scream. So for instance, if the clue was Latin American ballroom dance, the answer would be? Tango. Yes, Tango. Very good. You didn't say Tango's, which is good because you gotta stop it though. We would've passed. Not gonna pass the Gio. Guys, I cannot make this clear. You can't go past Gio. Just don't even do it. The player at the end with the most points wins. The player with the least points will go to Super Jail from the Go to Jail Expansion Pack, now on store shelves from Monopoly.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  The first question. A company's symbol is its?

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Logo. Yes, logo. Very good. Number two, the windy city is? Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. Very good. Another word for jargon is? Lingo. Oh, great. It's close to blue on the spectrum. Indigo. Very good. Sean got that one just right at the top. Okay. A pink waterfowl is a? Flamingo. A flamingo. Ah, Scotty got it. Your buddy in Spanish is your? Amigo. Amigo. Lottery-style game with numbered balls is? Bingo. Very good. A crime comedy film by the Coen Brothers?

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Fargo. Oh, shoot. It was right at the tip of my tongue. Plastic building bricks to be mastered. Lego. That was, I think Sean got that first, which I should hope since he has a close friend who's involved with Lego things. He would actually hit me if I didn't. He would throw Legos at you. Yeah. He'd make something out of Legos and hit you with it. Yeah. And this is number 10 for the end of the first round, because we're doing multiple rounds. Number 10, the villain in Shakespeare's Othello? Oh.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I know it. I know it. I can give you a follow-up clue if you need a follow clue. Yes, of course. Okay, he's the sidekick bird in Aladdin. Oh, my God.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  Oh, God, I saw that in 1928. I can't remember.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Um.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  I don't, I'm never gonna get this. Hugo. No, Hugo is a good guess because it ends in Gio, but it's wrong. The answer is Iago. Iago. Oh, right, Iago. Although I guess you could say the real villain in Othello is jealousy. Hey. Oh, nice. Write that down, Elliot. But it doesn't end in Gio. Jealousy go. You're right. I was, I'm ruining my own game.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  Okay, so tallying up after 10 clues, the score is Sean has 1, 2, 3, 4. Scotty has 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. So Scotty's in the lead. Amazing. I mean, I don't mean to sound as amazed, I'm sorry Scotty. I shouldn't be so overly amazed with that.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  I'm in the haunted hallway section of our apartment and I'm getting, you know, underestimated.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no, but that's even better. It means that this is more of an exciting, dramatic comeback. Okay, moving on to round two. The rules are the same. Go, don't go past it. The words end in go. The question's slightly trickier. Each answer is now worth 2 points. So the lead is only 2 points for Scotty from that last round. So Sean could easily erase it and move forward. Or Scotty could take an even further lead. Let's see what happens. Okay. Question number 11. Dizziness. Vertigo. Oh, boy, that was so close. That was neck and neck. I'm gonna give each of you 2 on that one. We'll have to go to the tail of the tape, but we don't have it. So number 12. A chain of islands is an?

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  A chain of islands. I don't know. I'm never gonna get it.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  I can hear the audience screaming at us right now.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're screaming at you. The only clue I have for you is probably not gonna be that helpful. What is it? The word that's missing from the title of Alexandra Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  What? Good lord.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Oh, sure. It's the only association I have with that word. No, I have no idea. Should we move on to the next one? Yeah. All right, the answer was archipelago. Oh, yes. I didn't know that was a string of islands, but yeah. Oh, yeah, that's what it is, a string of islands. Question number 13. You guys will get this. A kind of ship or a kind of shorts?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Cargo.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Very good. A milk cheese similar to Parmesan? Uh... Brico.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Cheddar, go.

• 12:37Sean Hayes?

  Um, I don't, I'm gonna know it and I, I, I don't know.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know either. Okay, the answer is Asiago. Asiago cheese. These are the tough ones. These are the two point ones, but you'll get this one. Manufacturer of camper vans. Winnebago. Oh, that's great. I feel like Scotty started first, but Sean finished the word first. And then Scotty took longer to say the word, but Sean finished it. So.

• 13:00Sean Hayes?

  Well, see, I might, we must have a delay because I'm, feel like I'm getting all of these. Okay, go ahead.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Number 16, island that forms a country with Trinidad.

• 13:10Sean Hayes?

  Do we know it?

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I'm going through my world knowledge. You'll think about it. So they're often referred to as Trinidad and?

• 13:15Sean Hayes?

  Trinago.

• 13:19Sean Hayes?

  Trinidad and Trinamom. Um, no, I don't know.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Geography, not my strong suit. Okay. Want me to tell you what it is? Yes. Tobago or Tobago. Trinidad and Tobago.

• 13:29Sean Hayes?

  Wouldn't have got it.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, how about this one? Question 17, tree whose extract is often used as a memory supplement?

• 13:38Sean Hayes?

  Uh.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Seems like you guys could use.

• 13:40Sean Hayes?

  Prevagen, Prevagen go. Oh no, that's from jellyfish, Prevagen.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I was thinking that too. Yeah.

• 13:49Sean Hayes?

  A tree whose supplements are used as a memory thing. Uh, well now we're never gonna forget this answer.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Never. Don't remember it forever. It's a very ancient tree. You see a lot of them in New York City. Would you like me to tell you the answer?

• 13:58Sean Hayes?

  Yes, please.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Ginkgo, ginkgo.

• 14:00Sean Hayes?

  Oh, ginkgo biloba.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Ginkgo biloba, yes. Yeah. You know what? You were thinking biloba go. It's very difficult. Yeah.

• 14:06Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  A trade ban is an? Embargo. Yes.

• 14:12Sean Hayes?

  God, you're fast.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  You might order of movie tickets from?

• 14:15Sean Hayes?

  Uh, from me, from, from.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Fandango, fandango, fandango.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  That was beautiful to see. Scotty was like.

• 14:26Sean Hayes?

  I may have pooped in my pants a little bit on that one.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  I've never seen two people verbally scramble over each other that way. Like. Question 20, the final one for this round. Freud said that this part of the mind acts as our conscience. Ego.

• 14:38Sean Hayes?

  Ego.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Uh, you're both wrong. I apologize. Would you like another, would you like another try at it? Cause you're almost there.

• 14:46Sean Hayes?

  Ego go?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  If it's not just an ego, if it's even bigger and more powerful than ego, it would be- Super ego. Yeah, super ego. There's the id, the ego, and the super ego. Very easy to confuse them because they've got almost the same name. I was thinking of id too. I was like, ido, idgo? No, okay.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Right, after round two, let's tally up the score again. Well, we don't have to do it. Scotty won. Ah, here we go. Come on, let's go. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Just to say it officially, Sean has seven and Scotty has, let's see, seven, nine, fourteen, seventeen. Forty-eight. Okay. But just in case you think we passed go, I've got a rude awakening for you. We did not pass go. Because it's time for the mega clue.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Which is gonna be the hardest words and phrases ending in G-O yet. So there are fewer of them. Each one is worth five points. Get ready to give me some mega answers for the mega clue as we mega don't pass mega.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Let's go for it. Okay, question 21. Russian novel made into a film starring Omar Sharif. You've got this one. I can see- Oh my God, I know it. Literally, my brain is on fire right now. That's where the answer would be. Yep. Don't look in the other organs.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  It's not in your lungs. Or the frozen turkey section.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Dr. Zhivago. Yes, Dr. Zhivago. Very good. Wow. Very good. Good for you. Question 22. He's one of opera's famous three tenors. Domingo. Yes, Domingo. Very good. Very good. Okay, 23. New wave band founded by Danny Elfman who wrote the theme to Weird Science. Bongo, bongo. Very good, Sean. Yep. 24. A huge round of applause as at the end of a play. That's a tricky one. It's like a standing O. You got it, Sean. Standing O. Yes. Oh. Oh, God. All right. I'm giving it to you. I heard you say it. Not as the answer, but just his thinking. But yeah, that's what it was. Standing O. And 25. Finally, a fictional thief who, quote, "sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina." Carmen Sandiego.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Yes, Carmen Sandiego. Very good. Scotty, how did you get that? That's one 90s kids will know. That's right.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  That is the end of the game. That was Fast and Furious after three rounds. The final score is, let's take a look, let me add it up, 27. Scotty has 27 to Sean's 22. That's only one final round question away from, you know, that's a close game. That was, it turned very close.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  That is close, yeah.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  So the winner is Scotty. Scotty, I hope, I hope, I hope this is something you can lure over Sean for at least an hour. I think it's already started. Yeah. Good, good. I'm happy for you. Listeners at home, do you do as well as Sean and Scotty? If not, then in the spirit of the sale cards from the Buy Everything Expansion Pack, I give you permission to purchase all of Scotty's correct answers. Now, you're the winner of the game. Congratulations. Sorry, Scotty, they bought it from you.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Of course, the great thing about Monopoly is it brings so many people together. Friends and relatives, cars and thimbles, top hats and little dogs. So why not snuggle up close for today's final cliffhanger puzzle?

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Of course, today's cliffhanger puzzle is the anti-cliffhanger because we're going to give you the answer today. So let's call it an in no danger of falling puzzle. That's what we're doing today, an in no danger of falling puzzle. I love that. Sean, you got to spin last time. So Scotty, you get to spin the Free Parking Expansion Pack Spinner to see what kind of trivia question I'll be asking you for this in no danger of falling, non-cliffhanger puzzle. Okay, Scotty, ready to give a spin?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Yes, let's go, let's go. Here we go.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  And it's spinning. Let the record show that the spinner landed on Monopoly Special Editions as the category. So I'm going to ask you a question about Monopoly Special Editions. That question goes Leslie. "Monopoly is licensed in 103 countries, printed in 37 languages, and there are an estimated 2,500-plus Special Edition boards themed to locations, franchises, or notable individuals. Which of these pop culture figures have never had their own themed Monopoly Special Edition?" And your choices are Deadpool, Ted Lasso, Paris Hilton, or The Beatles, which have never had their own Monopoly Special Edition themed set?

• 19:08Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna say The Beatles, Scotty.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I was gonna say Ted Lasso.

• 19:12Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  You are both incorrect. No, the answer is Paris Hilton. Oh, wow. The Beatles have had several additions. Deadwood has had two, Ted Lasso had one, but Paris Hilton, despite having family in the hotel business, has not had a single monopoly set to her own. So, how do you feel about, how do you feel about misjudging that one? You doing okay? I'm gonna be all right. Okay.

• 19:36Sean Hayes?

  Can you give me?

• 19:37Speaker 01

  We're gonna get through this. It's gonna be a real roller coaster episode for you.

• 19:40Sean Hayes?

  Just give me, give me a minute. Okay, I'm good.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Sean, Sean needs a minute. I need to go rub, I need to go rub his shoulders. Yeah. Okay.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Unfortunately, we just landed on go directly to the end of show. Before we go, I'd like to thank Scotty Eisnagle for advancing to the nearest utility and if owned, buying it from the bank. I'd like to thank Sean Hayes remembering it's not pronounced mono-poly. I really appreciate that you weren't calling it that. But most of all, I'd like to thank you, the listener, for letting us have a monopoly on your ears. Until next time, this has been Smartless Presents Clueless. I've been your host, Elliott Kalen, and I'm playing my get out of this episode free card. See ya, suckers.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  You have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius XM. Your host is Elliot Kalen, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who does like candy. Your producer, editor, and engineer is Devon Torrey Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Talent producer is Anna Harris. Associate producer, Maddie McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kalen, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate, and review the show. It really helps. That's

• 21:02Speaker 03

  all for now. We will see you again for more.

• 21:18Sean Hayes?

  Thank you to our partner Monopoly for supporting today's special episode of Clueless. Because we all have a Monopoly board lying around, Monopoly has introduced three new expansions that you can buy to add on to your Monopoly board to have new ways to play. We are loving playing with these new expansion packs. We are going to have to take turns switching between the free parking jackpot, buy everything, and go to jail for our next few game nights. It's gonna be super fun. These expansions are available now on Amazon, so go out and get yours today. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.