Busta Rhymes: "His Death Stopped My Career!" Busta Rhymes Finally Opens Up About His Grief, Nearly Dying & How He Turned His Life Around!

If you enjoy hearing about inside the music industry and its artists, I recommend you check out my conversation with will.i.am, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-2QhqdlfI From Trevor to Busta, love of the rap game to global success, and rock bottom to rebirth. This is Busta Rhymes as you’ve never heard him. Trevor George Smith Jr. or ‘Busta Rhymes’, first reached fame with the hip-hop group, ‘Leaders of the New School’, and began his solo rap career in 1996, since then has released 11 studio albums and received 12 Grammy Award nominations for his work. In this conversation Busta and Steven discuss topics, such as: Growing up in the hood Starting out in music Becoming an MC by accident Using rap as a way out of work Becoming addicted to entertaining and the reaction of people to his raps Rapping to protect himself Selling crack at 12 years old Failure not being an option for his father His father standing in the way of his musical career Getting booed off stage early in his career His mother signing his record deal at 17 years old What lessons he would tell his kids to reach success Why you need to be selfish to reach success His manger dying in 2012 How his manager taught him ever he knew His emotional down turn How his whole life was going in a totally different direction Why he couldn’t figure himself out Being on steroid pills How his son thought he was going to die You can listen to Busta’s newest album ‘Blockbusta’, here: https://spoti.fi/40UxsvS Follow Busta: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3t0odO6 Twitter: https://bit.ly/3QT9YTc Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Steven Bartlett?

  This is the Busta Rhymes that none of us have ever seen before. Busta Rhymes says it himself, this is a Busta Rhymes that nobody's ever seen before.

• 0:09Steven Bartlett?

  You will walk away from this conversation, understanding not only what it takes to reach the very peak of your powers, but to stay there for 33 years, to have the insane consistency, discipline, dedication, and in his words, addiction to something that will take you to the very top. But then also you'll see the forces in life that take you from that peak to the deepest depths of darkness. And once you're in that darkness, how do you rise from it? How did Busta take himself from the darkest moment of his life that he's really not talked about ever before, back to the peak of his powers? This is a human story. It's one of the most inspiring stories we've ever had on this

• 0:53Steven Bartlett?

  show. And it's a side of a guy that we've known for many, many decades that I have never seen before.

• 1:06Steven Bartlett?

  Busta, sometimes I think that with maturity and with age, we're able to look back at our earliest years and connect dots that only our maturity and only our own growth and development allow us to connect. And those dots sometimes indicate to us why and how we became the person we are today. And that's really what I'm so compelled to understand with you is, what is that early context that you look back on now and you go, the reason I am the man I am today sat here is because of this early context and these things and these people. What is that?

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Honestly, I have to say it starts with my mother and my father.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  My mother and my father was strict, you know what I'm saying? And they also made sure that I didn't need for nothing. I was able to really enjoy what it was to be a child. And, you know, I don't, I don't have to sit here and mislead people like I come from some poor struggle and I come from this, this hood shit. Like, yeah, I was in the hood. I was in Brooklyn, East Flatbush, Brooklyn, New York. And I was in the hood with enough of the goons and the hooligans, but.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  The difference about our era and the way you you mostly hear artists try to portray it now. Is even the guys that was the goons and the gangsters and the troublemakers in the street, they had respect. And they had integrity and they understood what it was to have proper manners like.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  If my mother. As serious as she was. Saw any of the other kids in the street, it was the like, I'm giving you an example of how it really literally took a village to raise a child like. None of the neighbors on the block would see another child that they watched grow from a little boy. Into becoming a teenager or something and see that kid misbehaving and not reprimand him in the street. Even if they not his parent. So. My neighbors had permission to to bust my ass if I was misbehaving. And then they would tell my mother and if my mother felt like. I misrepresented her to make another neighbor have to discipline me. That was gonna get me another ass beating, so you ended up getting two ass beatings.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  For every one trouble that you caused, you know what I'm saying? And and that's that shit was important because. I think that as a community. That shit is something that's it doesn't exist anymore, you can't tell nobody else kid nothing. Kids ain't trying to listen to you tell them nothing. They'll lift up something and fling it after you or or or go upside your head. And disrespect you because there's just a totally different. Value in the way things are done in the community. So it starts with my parents. And the way I was raised in it in the house to have respect for my parents. Have respect for my other elders, even if he wasn't my parent and also.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Even if he was dudes that was in the street, you still an elder, we had to respect you as an elder. And in return, that same respect that came from the house. And you, whenever you went abroad and you conducted yourself in that manner, it would garnish the same respect in return. So even if it was a dude in the street on some street shit, the respect that you showed to that elder, still warranted a certain respect from them. They wouldn't disrespect the respect that you was raised in your house to have for your family and for them. So that respect was upheld and it was, that integrity was defended.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  And that was a real solid foundation that all of the other floors was built on, which eventually evolved into becoming a skyscraper for me. So I'mma start there with the kids. And I'mma, I'mma go to the neighborhood because again, when my parents was around, I got the same discipline and from the neighbors, the hardworking, middle-class families, the less fortunate families that were still in the neighborhood. We all was on the same accord about discipline and respect.

• 5:21Steven Bartlett?

  Was it, was it easy to see when you look back how you could have gone another way in that context?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Absolutely, because all of those things were still there. The drug dealing was still there, the shootings were still happening, the robberies were still happening, all of that was there, right? But the beautiful thing was, there was a serious presence of balance that was just as impressionable as all of the things that was the negative presence that was strong and that did get a stronghold on a lot of the youth in the community at the time too.

• 5:57Steven Bartlett?

  How come you didn't go the other way?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I did.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  I did. I just was fortunate enough to have something like hip-hop that was able to be an alternative that saved my life, changed my life. And I had some incredible people that was around me to support

• 6:15Speaker 01

  me when I found this interest and, and I identified with my gift as an artist to be able to.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Entertain people, perform,

• 6:33Speaker 01

  articulate my thoughts through song and rhyme form. And I had an incredible support system with my moms. I had an incredible support system with just the other friends and family that I grew up with that was in the community. And then, last but not least, the determination that I had to wanna be able to not disappoint the people that I knew that really was proud of what I was doing, good, bad, or indifferent.

• 7:01Steven Bartlett?

  Who were they?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  It was, it was all of them.

• 7:05Steven Bartlett?

  All of them.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Right? So, for example, I pissed my moms off when I decided I wanted to start selling weed and selling crack, right?

• 7:14Speaker 01

  And the guys that was in the street that I was doing it with,

• 7:19Speaker 01

  when they realized, even though I was doing it and it was cool for us to do it, they didn't really want us to do it. When they started to see that we had potential to do other things that was gonna keep us safe and keep us away from the street. A lot of the time, they didn't have a better opportunity to offer us. So, they made sure that they was as present as they could be to guide us through the shit that they didn't even want us to do in the first place, which was the stupidness we was carrying on with in the street.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  So, they did everything they could to minimize the bullshit that we would get into, so we don't get killed, so we don't go to jail, so, you know, none of that shit would happen. But, once they realized they didn't have a better opportunity for us, that is what they felt was the best that they could do. If that, if we're gonna do the bullshit, we gotta be there to protect them and make sure that they straighten, we guide them, so that they could do it the best way with the least amount of bullshit.

• 8:13Steven Bartlett?

  As a younger?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  As a younger kid, right? When they started to see that this rapping thing and this hip-hop shit and breakdancing and graffiti and DJing and all of that shit was something that we started to generate interest for, that's when they started to encourage us to do that more.

• 8:31Steven Bartlett?

  Instead of cracking?

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Instead of selling the drugs, instead of selling weed, instead of stealing this and taking that. So, they were so happy to see we found another way. They wanted us to do that. So, the more we did that... If we started to show them in the indication as we was making progress that we wasn't continuing to be productive, now it felt like you was pissing off two sets of parents.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I'm already pissing off my parents because I'm with them in the street. Now they see me doing this music shit, they like that shit, they proud of me. So if I'm not doing well in that, now I'm disappointing them too.

• 9:12Steven Bartlett?

  What was the consequence of your parents separating at 11 years old? Because I think about me being 11 years old, I remember a conversation, my mom, my mom's Nigerian, I was born in Botswana, my dad's English.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:20Steven Bartlett?

  I remember around that age, about 10 years old, my parents calling me and basically telling me they didn't love each other anymore. And it was like the world had broken in half.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:29Steven Bartlett?

  It's like you can't comprehend the concept of these two people being separate. It's like being torn into two pieces.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:35Steven Bartlett?

  How was it for you at 11 years old when you find that out?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  It was disastrous for me because, like you said, you can't really ever wrap your head around that. As a child, you don't know how to conceptualize that, like, um.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Obviously, there was things that I was able to do and it was enjoyment I was able to have when I spent time with my father that I couldn't get when I was with my mother.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  There was things that I was always able to get as far as nurturing and being cared for and being babied for my mother that I couldn't get for my father. And obviously divine order is mother and father to make baby, right? So I definitely didn't want to lose neither one of them.

• 10:19Steven Bartlett?

  Did you change?

• 10:21Speaker 01

  I definitely changed because, um, I wasn't, um, I couldn't figure out how to find my, my, my, uh.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  The, the, the behaved kid that I was, even though I was still getting into shit.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  The, the bullshit really started once my mother and my father got a divorce. The misbehaving really started picking up, the, the disrespect started to pick up and intensified. The anger was just a lot more.

• 10:53Steven Bartlett?

  Why?

• 10:53Speaker 01

  It overwhelmed me more because I was just, I wasn't happy with my situation. And then I wasn't happy with.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  The the way that I was directly impacted by their beef. So like.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  You know, there would be times when.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  If my mother and my father wasn't getting along.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Fresh discrepancy between the two of them. Say like. The day of my father supposed to pick up me and my brother, because I only got one younger brother. And say he supposed to come and pick us up on this day and particularly for his visitation weekend. If an argument.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Started with the two of them that morning.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  You know, my father would get to the house and then my mother wouldn't even let us go. And we would look and see him in the front of the house from the window.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  And my moms would just be on some bullshit.

• 11:56Steven Bartlett?

  How did you feel looking at him from the window?

• 11:58Speaker 01

  It was fucking crazy.

• 11:59Steven Bartlett?

  You wanted to go, I'm guessing?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Of course, you know what I'm saying? Because there was things and there was other family that obviously. Was on my father's side. Cousins and kids from the neighborhoods of the cousins. Uh, part of Brooklyn or Queens and different areas of New York that we would go, that we had friends and.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  With the family and with the neighborhood friends that we met through our other family and other c- cousins and. Things of that nature in the different neighborhoods. We we we wouldn't get to see these people. Until dad came to get us because. Moms wasn't cool really with that side of the family like that. My father's side of the family wasn't really rocking with my mother's side of the family like that. So if that rotation didn't happen in the visits. We didn't get to enjoy that. We missed our dad. We was only get to. Getting the opportunity to see him, you know, once a week, once every two weeks or sometimes once a month if. Then they beefing with each other.

• 13:00Steven Bartlett?

  Did did your relationship with your father at that point kind of become a bit strained when because of that beef? Did you start to see him less and less and less?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I think my conflict with my father. It started to happen more and more because um.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  You know, obviously, um.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  The lack of a parent's presence has an effect in different ways, right?

• 13:27Speaker 01

  And as a son, I don't know what it is, but I just think instinctually,

• 13:33Speaker 01

  boys cling on to their moms more. I don't know if that's always the case, but in most cases, that's usually what it is. I think my father's personality was a little conflicting for me with the way my personality was. And the contrast of my father's personality as opposed to my mother's personality, it drew conflict for me too. Because my father, he wasn't as interested in the shit that I wanted to do or that the shit that I was interested in as a child. Like, he always was more serious about

• 14:17Speaker 01

  whatever he felt was best for my future was all that mattered. It wasn't about what I thought, it was about what he thought. So I always started to feel like, and having the comparison and seeing the contrast between that and how supportive my mother was for the shit that I wanted to do? Like, you know,

• 14:40Speaker 01

  first time I got some pussy, I could come tell my mother. I could sit down and tell my mother about how that felt, you know what I'm saying? I could sit and tell my moms about, you know, my first wet dream or some shit. I could, I could talk to my moms about the music that I'm making in the studio with with my crew, leaders at the new school at the time. And I could come home and I could play that shit in the house. I could turn up the shit. Just as long as I could do, just as long as I did what I was supposed to in the house, my mother was with all the other shit as long as it was productive and it kept me away from the trouble in the street. That was relieving for her. My father,

• 15:21Speaker 01

  you tried to talk to him at the time about some rap shit. He was like, "I don't want to hear that shit. That shit is a bunch of bullshit." And you wasting your time with that shit. That's how I used to talk. You know what I'm saying?

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Now, at that time, I didn't respect it. And at that time, I, I, I felt a way, I felt real fucked up about that because it was just like...

• 15:46Speaker 01

  I could be doing some real bullshit like I I'm I'm actually still one foot in. Because I'm not, I'm I haven't succeeded at this. This shit don't make me no money. I do this shit because I love it. Like, I just love it. So when I'm able to do shit that I love with with my friends that and with my people that.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  I'm entertained by doing it with them.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  It's because I have this thing with a crew that there's a collective. Enjoyment that we're getting from doing this music shit.

• 16:23Steven Bartlett?

  Are you still trying to prove him wrong to some degree? Did you find yourself trying to prove him wrong then?

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Nah, because I got my opportunity to do it.

• 16:30Steven Bartlett?

  But before that moment.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  At that time?

• 16:32Steven Bartlett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Absolutely, I was trying to prove him wrong. I was so determined to prove him wrong that it it it forced me to excel. Because the more that he wanted me to do what he wanted me to do.

• 16:45Steven Bartlett?

  Which was?

• 16:47Speaker 01

  My father was a licensed electrical contractor.

• 16:49Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, okay.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  So he used to force me to come to work. His way of keeping me off the street was bringing me to work with him because. He had his own.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Company as a licensed electrical contractor.

• 17:04Steven Bartlett?

  How did you feel about that?

• 17:05Speaker 01

  I was disgusted with that shit because we working in these nasty fucking buildings with rats and roaches running around and shit and. It took childhood time for me because I wasn't able to be outside and play. That's really what I wanted to do.

• 17:16Steven Bartlett?

  And how old were you then? Twelve?

• 17:19Speaker 01

  It started a little younger than that, but right around twelve is when it got serious. I would say like around ten years old was when it started. Twelve is when it got serious because my mother used to send us to different countries every summer. With my father, just so we could be able to explore what it was like to live in Jamaica for a summer with the family. Same shit with England. My mother would send us to England. So when I was.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  Around, there was one summer we came out here. You were ten. I was like ten, eleven. My brother was younger than me, like seven. I'm staying in Morecambe in them time and Preston. And we went to karate school here, we went to primary school here. And we was breakdancing and I had these cousins that used to name Samantha and Michaela. They used to take me in vow, they used to take me to these little clubs. Cause they used to bring us to like this little area where it was like a, uh. I wouldn't call it a downtown area, but there was an area like a downtown area in the Morecambe area and in the Preston area and in the Blackpool area.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  And we would go and we would breakdance out there with the young kids that was from England. And, you know, we had our style of doing shit from New York. And we, we, we was, we was getting, we was some dangerous little motherfuckers now. Let me, you know, we was getting busy, we was making it happen. We's, you know, we twisting up and popping and all of this shit. So it was, it was something where we just became a part of this breakdance community. And they was always looking forward to seeing us. We would go out there like three, four times a week. Other people, promoters, they would see us, they started to book us to come in their clubs. Obviously we're too young to go in a club. So they would let us come perform ten minutes, fifteen minutes, and then we would have to leave immediately.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  So we made a little money that way, get a little ten pounds here for show, a little twenty pounds there for show. But this, these are the things that we grew around. So when I, when I was around all of this and that started to slow down.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Dad was like, okay, y'all ain't going nowhere this summer, you're coming to work. Do I wanna go to work? No. Do I wanna be an electrician? No. Do I wanna be fucking pulling BX cable through sheet rock? No. Do I wanna be hammering nails and then bang my fingers? No. Do I wanna see rats and fucking roaches crawling over my shoes and my timbaland boots? And I don't wanna do none of that. And I'm watching kids riding up and down and pop a wheelie in on the bike and music playing outside and I can't do that shit. I was, I used to be super angry at that shit every day with my father. What did you wanna do instead?

• 20:08Speaker 01

  I wanted to rap, I wanted to make music, I wanted to breakdance, I wanted to do all the shit that hip hop. Consisted of, like I became the embodiment of hip hop and it was the thing that was my excuse to not go to work. Why did you wanna rap? Well, number one,

• 20:29Speaker 01

  I wanted to be the DJ first. Okay. You know what I'm saying? The DJ thing to me though,

• 20:38Speaker 01

  I never really got good at it to be the DJ. I was able to do it, but I was never nice enough to become the superstar DJ. And at that time,

• 20:53Speaker 01

  the DJ was super important because all of the groups had the DJ name. So the Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Jam Master J, Run DMC, like the DJ was always the solo. It was like he was the big shot.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  So when I, I couldn't, I'm not really the technology dude, you know what I'm saying? So all of this

• 21:18Speaker 01

  equipment shit, like it was just a little complicated for me. And then

• 21:26Speaker 01

  I actually became an MC by accident. And the interesting part about that was

• 21:36Speaker 01

  I caught two charges selling crack by the time I was 12.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  And fortunately, the laws was different and I was a minor. So

• 21:51Speaker 01

  I didn't see no serious trouble, but I was definitely on my way to getting into some serious trouble. If I didn't, if my mother didn't say, all right, enough of this shit, we gotta get you out of here.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  That's when she took me from Brooklyn and brought me to Long Island. When I got to Long Island, that's when I met Brown. C. Brown from Leaders of the New School. Dinko D. from Leaders of the New School. Malo is my mother's sister's son, so he's my first blood cousin. But before we brought in Malo, it was, and even before we brought in Dinko, it was me, Dinko, and another dude named Mystery. Mystery was hustling in the street too. But when we went to Long Island now, a lot of other families was thinking like my mother. They brought their kids from Brooklyn too, to Long Island. From Queens to Long Island, from the Bronx to Long Island.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  So, we left the neighborhood, which is the hood we was raised in, we left the hood to come to the suburbs and still be around a bunch of kids from the hood.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? So the same shit you was running from, we found a way to do the same shit in these nice neighborhoods now. And here we come as the generation terrorizing these beautiful neighborhoods. And...

• 23:17Speaker 01

  We fucked these neighborhoods up.

• 23:19Steven Bartlett?

  When you say you became an accidental MC?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  This is what happened. I wasn't rapping yet. I was only breakdancing, I was only popping, and I was DJing a little bit, and I was messing around with the graffiti.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  I wasn't rapping yet. So, when I moved to Long Island, I meet Charlie Brown. I meet Mystery. And...

• 23:47Speaker 01

  What ends up happening...

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Is, in this junior high school now, they got like these lip sync contests, they got rap contests, and, you know, we now finally getting a chance to experience what it's like to have us be in school where you have periods, different periods in classes, and you're in one class for forty-five minutes to an hour, then the bell rings and then you switch, I got the hallway action, everybody talking shit, go to the next class, flirt with a couple of chicks on the way to the next class. So all of that interaction is starting now. Puberty kicking in crazy. You know, you thirteen years old, twelve, thirteen, now you're starting to get your hormones is moving different. So...

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Obviously, you're going through the stage in your life now where you want to impress everybody. You want to, you want to be the cool guy in school. So, whenever you came to Long Island from the five boroughs,

• 24:48Speaker 01

  it was a thing. Oh, that's the new kid from Brooklyn. Oh, that's the new kid from Queens. Oh, that's the new kid from Bronx. That's the new kid from Staten Island. So, me being one of the new kids from Brooklyn, it created this talk. And

• 25:10Speaker 01

  the rapping thing is happening. Charlie Brown was like the guy. He was like the, the, the number one rap dude in school at the time.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  So, one day, I'm coming out of the school.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  And we get in the schoolyard and, you know, some of the kids waiting on the school buses. Some of the kids is waiting to see, you know, the football game or the basketball game after school. There was like a cypher that was formed in this particular day, and it was a big one. And it was C. Brown rapping and two other kids. And then, uh, C. Brown was getting most of the shine.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  I walks over to the cypher and I started beatboxing, right? And, uh, Brown, he, he, he doing his rap shit to my beatbox or whatever. And, you know, I'm keeping the beat going for him. And then, um,

• 26:10Speaker 01

  everything was smooth in the beginning, like, you know, he was just rhyming. Everything was cool and, you know, he sounded good.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  And then I probably like a good thirty, forty seconds into it, he just started disrespecting me. So, I'm beatboxing for him and he dissing me. And I'm, I'm, I'm kind of like torn between, should I punch this dude in his face? Or should I just keep beatboxing and not be the party pooper of the party energy that we have in here?

• 26:39Steven Bartlett?

  And you how old?

• 26:40Speaker 01

  I was twelve. I was, I was thirteen now. And I'm saying to myself, I'm from Brooklyn.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  And the mentality back then was, everybody from Long Island was pussy. You know, it's the suburbs, it's the green grass, it's the flower beds, it's the, the, the, the nice houses. We come from, from, from concrete jungle, we come from projects, we come from struggle, so...

• 27:12Speaker 01

  I'm looking at this dude, and I'm just looking at him like, I'mma fuck you up in like, two seconds because you a pussy to me, but you disrespecting me in front of all of these people. And if I don't do something, then they gonna look at me like I'm a pussy too, so...

• 27:26Speaker 01

  As I'm getting ready to do something stupid, the rhyme stopped, like he was done, and...

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Everybody was bigging him up and, you know, I ain't wanna look like a sore loser, even though there was no battle, he just chose to diss me for no reason. And I couldn't understand it, cuz I'm like, yo, I'm here to support you right now, I'm giving you the beat and the whole shit, the fuck you doing?

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Long story short, that was the day.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  I said, "All right, I'mma go home,

• 28:01Speaker 01

  and I'mma write a rhyme tonight, and I'mma come back tomorrow, and I'mma fucking disrespect this youth in front of everybody, the same way he dissed me up in front of everybody." And the next day, I came to school, I waited all day, I ain't tell nobody shit. We got back in that same yard, nice big crowd the next day.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  He rapping again, I started beatboxing for him again, like, like, like, it's the exact thing happening like the day before. So we going and I'm doing what I'm doing and everything is cool and nobody ain't got no clue, cuz I didn't say shit to nobody about having raps ready.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  And the crazy shit is, when I wrote my rhymes...

• 28:54Speaker 01

  I was listening to a bunch of LL Cool J shit. Because at the time LL was battling everybody on record, you know what I'm saying? Battling Kumo D, battle Ice T, battle, you know, he was just, he was the one that was trying to take everybody head off. And I was like, yo, I wanna come like LL so I could tear this boy head off. So I ended up doing my shit and somehow it went from me beatboxing to him.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  And for him to me telling him, yo, why don't you do a beat for me?

• 29:29Speaker 01

  And he was like, oh, you got raps ready today? I'd like to do a beat. Let me just try something.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  So he did the beat and I started off the rhyme on some calm shit. And then when I started to get into the disrespect lines, that's when the, the whole thing just started to happen on its own, like.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  My frustration and then me seeing the people reacting to my shit, the way that I wanted them to. It just made me more confident, more cocky, more charismatic. And that's when the whole Busta Rhymes thing started to happen. And my name wasn't even Busta Rhymes at the time. I had a fucked up rap name at the time.

• 30:16Steven Bartlett?

  What was it?

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Yo, my name was terrible, yo. My name at the time.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  I had two. I had my name from being a part of the 5% Nation of the Gods and Earth, which that name was cooler. That was Lord Tahim, right? But somehow I abandoned that to become

• 30:44Speaker 01

  like the rappers that had three-part names, right?

• 30:48Steven Bartlett?

  Is there a reason you're not telling me?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  I'm getting to it. I'm just trying to help with, I'm setting up with the proper prerequisite. So LL Cool J is a three-part man.

• 31:01Steven Bartlett?

  Yeah.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Jam Master J is a three-part name. All of the guys from the Fat Boys, Prince, Marky D, Cool Rock Ski, them dudes had three-part names, right?

• 31:16Speaker 01

  I changed my name to Chill Oski.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  That name is so fucking terrible. I know, I'm sorry, bro. Name was terrible. And you know what's so crazy? I kept that name for a long time because I really thought it was the shit because I felt like.

• 31:41Steven Bartlett?

  Chill Oski.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Chill Oski, bro. Terrible. I know it's terrible. But I, I, I really was proud of like, I, I got a three-part name, like my favorites. And if you want to be like your favorites, you gotta do the shit that is a replication of your favorites. And then I destroyed Charlie Brown so bad that at the end of that night, the end of that little battle, that afternoon after school, he, he just came over to the side and was like, yo, we should be in a group together.

• 32:22Steven Bartlett?

  And that's really the day that I guess Busta Rhymes, I guess it's a catalyst moment, the day Busta was born. You talked about how that kind of moment helped you develop your style and your charisma and the way you carried yourself. And from then till when you get signed at seventeen years old, I'm curious about what happens in that moment. Because that's really, you know, a lot of people at twelve years old or ten years old or whatever want to be hip hop actors, hip hop stars, or they want to be whatever, they want to be musicians. But very, very few make it to the top table. What happens between the playground that day and seventeen years old, you getting signed? When you look back and go, it was for that reason? Was it natural talent? Is it hard work? Is it all of the above?

• 33:06Speaker 01

  It's, it's all of the above, but the first thing for me was the addiction to the reaction that I was getting from the people and I was seeing it and how it felt in real time. And just, just, just looking at the fact that I came up with something in my crib, by myself, in my bedroom.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  That was fueled by a determination of wanting to defend myself like a fight.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  And a lot of the times,

• 33:47Speaker 01

  I don't think I might have said it like this. I've said it before, but I don't think I've said it a lot.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  I don't know if it would have been, I had the same desire to wanna be in hip hop. I had the same desire to wanna rhyme, DJ, but I don't know if if that moment didn't happen. I don't know if I would have pursued being an MC.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  At that time, it probably wouldn't have happened.

• 34:15Steven Bartlett?

  I've sat here with a lot of people who are comedians and entertainers and actors in the biggest movies in the world. And it's so interesting to me that there tends to be an early catalyst moment where they perform maybe in front of the family at Christmas.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:31Steven Bartlett?

  Or on stage or whatever it is, and they get this reaction. And in that moment, that reaction does something to them on a psychological level, which becomes, as the word you used is the word I hear, becomes this addiction.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:42Steven Bartlett?

  And I often wonder to myself, because a lot of other people will experience that reaction and not develop the addiction.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:48Steven Bartlett?

  So the reaction, it appears to me, is doing something for those people that they needed at that moment.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Yes, I needed it at that moment. I want to tell you something. It it actually happened before that. To wanna be an MC happened in that moment.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  The addiction to entertaining people, that shit happened when I was like seven, eight years old. Maybe even six, six years old, because where it started for me initially was, you know, at the time, and particularly like I was saying how the neighborhood was back then and how we was raised in our house back then. My mother and my father, you know, we had to go to bed at nine o'clock on a school night. And

• 35:37Speaker 01

  on the weekends, when we was that young, we might be able to stay up until about ten o'clock, but we still had to go to bed by a certain time.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  When my mother had company, or like my father, and they had like family and friends or, you know, they just had their little grown up get togethers.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  And they get to drinking a little bit. Sometimes, you know, they so entertained by each other's company, they forget to send us to bed at nine o'clock. They playing music and shit. And I used to have to do things. I would try to creatively come up with ways to avoid being sent to bed at nine o'clock. So when they playing music, the first thing that I would always get into doing is

• 36:23Speaker 01

  reenactments of Michael Jackson and from the Jackson Five and James Brown dance routines. So I used to do that shit and I was nice with the fucking split and spinning around and shit and carry it on us.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  I'm doing all type of shit and I'm

• 36:45Speaker 01

  for hours until I literally would be sweating through my clothes. But it was so entertaining that sometimes

• 36:56Speaker 01

  the whole company that was there for my family, my mother and my father, they ended up cheering me on and rooting me on to continue and

• 37:07Speaker 01

  bigging up my moms about how much talent her son has and.

• 37:11Steven Bartlett?

  Was it not that feeling then that you were chasing?

• 37:13Speaker 01

  That's what it was first. That's what I was saying like. I I wasn't thinking about being no rapper then, but I I knew what that feeling felt like.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  And I always wanted that feeling. And that feeling started in the crib and then it translated into me

• 37:37Speaker 01

  trying to get that attention in the classrooms, which turned me into a jokester in the class. So I would do shit to get the attention of the crowd from the class and became like this class clown dude and I would get in trouble and shit. And then it translated from that into, you know, me breakdancing and doing all of this hip hop shit. Because I loved hip hop and I was starting to see what what was being created as a movement and what was being generated as an interest that was taken over. Like it didn't matter what else was cool at the time when hip hop started to really become that shit.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  There was nothing more important than knowing how to do something that was a representation of hip hop. If you was a graffiti artist and you was fucking dope,

• 38:31Speaker 01

  you became something that was like on a celebrity status level. That's when motherfuckers started putting graffiti on clothes and everybody that was involved with hip hop or some kind of representation of hip hop became some sort of celebrity. So for me, that's why I wanted to learn how to do everything in hip hop because I still didn't know what I wanted to do. The DJ shit complicated. The breakdancing shit, I ain't like the fucking bruises I was getting all the time. You know what I'm saying? And the graffiti shit, I was cool with it, but it was really when that situation happened with me and C Brown. That's now when I found that I was able to get the feeling of when I was this little boy

• 39:16Speaker 01

  dancing for my parents and their company. And at the same time, I was able to have that spotlight on me being the rapper guy. So it's like all of this shit became the thing that I started to grow. Not only this appreciation for it,

• 39:37Speaker 01

  but I started to grow addicted to the shit.

• 39:40Steven Bartlett?

  That is what I was expecting in terms of like, I was just trying to figure out the psychological reason why you became so addicted to this because listen, I come from a background where lots of my friends started rapping and most of them fell off. And then there's like one or two of them that just became, it became like their medication to some shit. And I've always wondered why they just like that individual just stuck at it for all those years. But in that, in that answer, we have the um.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  I think the biggest addiction for me out of all of it was to be able to say to my father.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  I wanted to be able to experience the day, not knowing if it would ever come. But it was a serious, serious thing. Like I used to write this shit on my wall and just on a piece of paper and I would stick it on the wall. And it would say, one day, I'm going to get a deal. I'm gonna sign a contract. I'm gonna come home with so much fucking money. That I'm gonna be able to tell my father, I told you so. That's all I wanted to be able to do. And I wrote that shit and put it on the wall. And I would look at that shit every day.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  And, and there would be days still when he would tell me, I gotta come to work. And I would look at that sign.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  And then I would see him outside in the truck.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  And I walk out that fucking house and I would be mad as hell.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Angry. And what I do love about my father as I got older is I understood

• 41:25Speaker 01

  what he wanted. He just wanted to make sure

• 41:32Speaker 01

  I wasn't wasting my time. He built this company. He wanted to pass it down.

• 41:38Steven Bartlett?

  It was love.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  It's love. It was, he need his son to succeed.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  I'm his pride and his joy. And

• 41:50Speaker 01

  failure is not an option with my father.

• 41:52Steven Bartlett?

  And I guess where he came from, you know, it's the same with my mother. My mother, when I told her eighteen, I wasn't going to university, wouldn't speak to me for years. But she comes from Nigeria. She left school at seven years old. She can't read or write today. So I was the only, of her four kids, I was the only one that says I'm not going to university. Now she stood in my way and said, don't start a business, et cetera, et cetera. But in, in my maturity, I go, she stood in my way because she loved me.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 42:15Steven Bartlett?

  At the time, and everyone goes, a lot of people go through, especially sort of immigrant, immigrant kids and stuff.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Primarily.

• 42:21Steven Bartlett?

  Yeah.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  Because that pain and that struggle, that suffering that they come from, that shit ain't no, that's not this shit that we was raised in. That, you know, me and you, we obviously, even if you was born there, you wasn't. You didn't spend your years there to to experience the pain that they did. So you come here now, you still don't know they struggle. They know though, they never gonna forget and they obviously want the best for their babies, man. My father came to the Apollo to see us. And this what made him even more sure about disrespecting me. And disrespecting the rap shit, me and my my crew. Leaders of the new school, we had an opportunity to perform at the Apollo at amateur night at the Apollo.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  And we get up there and we got booed. Badly booed. One of the first times, you know, when me and Charlie Brown decided to form the group, the guy Mystery that was with us originally. He got tired of the the the weight, there was no real light at the end of the tunnel if we was gonna get an opportunity to get a record deal. He was selling drugs in the street too, he decided he wanted to go back to the street and do that, he ain't wanna be in a rap group no more, that's how. Room was made for Dinko to get in the group. Cause we still felt like we needed to replace the third rapper. And we got our three rap dudes now, it's me, Brown and Dinko, and then I said, yo, we need a DJ, let me get my cousin. So Malo came. And we ended up doing the show at the Apollo.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Got booed and my father was even, he was hitting me with the I told you so that night. See, I tell you, yo, you know, waste your time with this little idiot rapper boy shit.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  For come on work, that's what I'm gonna tell you for come to work, so you can learn some stability. And stop waste your time with this rapper shit. It's like he talking to me and we still in the venue.

• 44:13Steven Bartlett?

  Really?

• 44:13Speaker 01

  We ain't even leave, he just beating me in the head with this. Total disrespect. But.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Again, at that time, I I hated him for it.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  As we got older and I I I that day came for me. I got my my record deal when I was seventeen and.

• 44:37Steven Bartlett?

  What was it about you, though? Was it the unique style? And you had a completely different flow that people were just drawn to, that raised the energy on every record you touched?

• 44:49Speaker 01

  It definitely was that. And that came completely from dancehall influence. Right? So are you familiar with like Sting?

• 45:00Steven Bartlett?

  Yeah.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  All right, so Sting clashes that used to happen from the eighties all the way down. The one thing that I saw in dancehall culture that I wasn't seeing in hip hop was the way when dancehall artists was getting busy and clashing in front of ten, fifteen thousand dollars, thousand people in that Sting audience. The energy that they had to have to make sure that they're portraying themselves in a way

• 45:33Speaker 01

  that was just more than the lyrics. It was a complete showmanship that was a collective of things. It was the outfit. It was the jumping around. It was the kicking of foot. It was the flinging of your hand and the way you was coming through on the microphone and the flow patterns and the cleverness of the lyrics and the punchlines. It was all of these things. And it was mind blowing to me because I wasn't seeing that same thing in hip hop. In hip hop, you see a dude just walking around. You know, they might hold their crutch and they act like they too cool to be that animated. Me, I love that shit. I love Kung Fu movies.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  I love karate movies. So all of that shit.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  And the dancing up and the dissing and that and the foot this, that. I just took all of that shit. And I said, I'm gonna turn this into what I'm gonna do on these stages. And I think that.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  If I mastered this shit and I could master my breathing, and I don't exhaust myself too soon, try to jump around all over the fucking stage going crazy, I think I might become a dangerous motherfucker that's hard to compete with because

• 46:55Speaker 01

  dudes are not moving like this on no stage. I'm going to all of the shows. I'm being a student. I'm in the clubs. I'm in the street. I'm everywhere just to see and learn and pull inspiration from somewhere. And I pulled a lot of inspiration from different places, but that was when I found it. Like, looking at those Clash, Sting clashes and Jammies and Killam and Jarro, like, all them man from Saxon and all of that that was out there, Tipper, Iri and all of them man, like, them dudes raised me.

• 47:33Steven Bartlett?

  It's so interesting because what you've described there is kind of like my understanding of what creativity is, where you pull from so many different, almost clouds of inspiration to create a new one.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:44Steven Bartlett?

  And I was thinking about, I was thinking about your kids. You said to me before we started recording, you've got six kids and they're around like twenty, thirty years old now.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:52Steven Bartlett?

  Based on what you now understand about what made you stand out different, that what it took in terms of your mentality, you used the word student there. If one of those kids comes to you now and says, "Dad, what are the fundamentals that I can take from your journey up until that point at, say, twenty-one years old, that would increase my chance of success no matter the industry?" What are those fundamentals?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  So, the fundamentals that I would give my kids, which I've already feel like I've been given to them, is the first thing is identify with what you love. And once you love it, hone in on that thing until you can master it to the point where

• 48:41Speaker 01

  people can identify that there's no questioning your love for it. That's the first thing.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Once you love it to the point where...

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Your actions speak louder than anything you could say about how much you love it. That is always the root of whatever success is preordained or destined to come to you. No matter what it is that you choose to do.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Because

• 49:16Speaker 01

  what is actually gonna create the revenue is that you're not doing it from a place of trying to generate the revenue.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  You're gonna do this shit regardless. So it's not about the money for you. You're fulfilling something. In your soul, in your body, there's a feeling that even the money can't give you. There's people that have this money and they still can't find that feeling, man. And there's nothing like it.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  This is a feeling that really exists, bro. That can actually make you the happiest person in the world.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  That happens to be my music. Because and and my children understand now.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I love my children so much and I love my family so much. I'm not playing with anything that I know is gonna allow me the opportunity to make sure that I can show them and I can take care of them. And I can, without compromise, find a way and a means to securing of the well being of my family. And I found something that I love that has provided me those means and the ability to do it. And I don't have to question how I'm going to get to that. On no day, I could be sick, I could be

• 50:58Speaker 01

  I could be sick and in the hospital and write a song.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  And even if I'm too weak to say it,

• 51:08Speaker 01

  I could give it to somebody

• 51:11Speaker 01

  and work out whatever business I need to work out with that person so they still do that same song. God willing, the success of that song that

• 51:21Speaker 01

  hopefully is garnished, reaches a level of success based on this creation from a feeling that I was inspired by or from a feeling that I got that I can't explain and I can't give to nobody other than through this music.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  That will take care of not just my family, but it actually might take care of filling a space in the millions of people's lives that will hear this shit. That at some point, depending on the impact of the song, they fuck around and see you 20 years from now and become the fucking CEO of Google and will tell you, "I am a fan. I loved you." What this fucking song did to, for me, when I was 10, now I'm 30. And at this moment, when I was 10, I remember wearing this little t-shirt with a yellow fucking balloon face on it. And I had my little bicycle outside.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  And my mother let me play with my two friends two houses down. We played this fucking song 10 times in a row

• 52:29Speaker 01

  until we had to go inside. And that song changed my life and it gave me the motivation to wanna do this thing, evolve into this person, think a new way that allowed me to pursue something that I found that I love. And now, I'm a fucking 200 million dollar CEO in Google. I'm a fan of your shit, you're still doing what I love, and I wanna sit down with you and figure out something magical that we could do together.

• 52:57Steven Bartlett?

  Sounds addictive.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  That's very fucking addictive. Fuck that. That's the most addictive shit in the world to me. Because it's like, that's, that's greater than man. You can't teach somebody how to do that. That's not a book science, that's not school. You know what I'm saying? That shit is, you identify with this gift.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  We all got the gift. There's something that we've all been blessed with. At some point, if we listen to that fucking little thing that speaks to us inside. Some people call it instinct, some people call it a vibe, some people call it an energy. Whatever the fuck you call it, some people call it a voice. Whatever that thing is, bro. If it sparks the thought

• 53:49Speaker 01

  that changes the whole trajectory

• 53:53Speaker 01

  to what your life can evolve into because you took a second to listen to that shit.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  You are identifying with your blessing, you are identifying with your gift. And at that point, you learn what the fuck it is and become one with it and walk in your purpose, bro. So you might instill this thing into the lives of so many people that you live forever through this thing that you've created. That's not a man thing no more. That shit is deeper than man. I am absolutely addicted to that because when you really think about it, that shit is something, that's, that's godly.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  It's weird to me when people find it strange when we call ourselves gods and earth, right? Because I'm saying.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  What do you want me to be? You want me to be other than God? Anything other than its original form is the worst state of its own existence. Because you're not even functioning within the nature that you was created to function in. So

• 55:10Speaker 01

  you can't make me call myself devil-like because you think that it's a blasphemous act for me to say that I'm godly, or I'm godlike, or I'm made in the likeness of the Most High. That mentality is why I function this way. Because I refuse to think that there is nothing that I can't do

• 55:34Speaker 01

  beyond man.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  Beyond man. If I could sit down here and smoke a spliff and eat a bowl of cereal and fucking go yah yah yah yah yah, yah yah yah yah yah. And when I step up in the place, and when I step, yo, what steps correct? Woo-ha, I got you all in check. And the whole fucking planet is doing it. It don't matter what country I go to. And then I get to Sweden and they telling me yah yah yahs, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I ain't from Sweden, I don't know that. I just was vibing and bugging out, the weed had me and feeling away. Nice little spliff, little food, little bowl of cereal, and I just was joking in the crib and yah yah yah yah yah. Motherfuckers was laughing in my house. I thought it was funny. I did this shit on the record. I like funny.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  But I also like serious. There's always a balance between the guys that we found the most entertainment from. All of the dudes that was on TV that we liked, that was the fucking criminals, they was always funny, right? Al Pacino in Scarface, he was a serious motherfucker, but he was funny. Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, serious but funny. Right? We in the hood, we love the balance between serious and funny.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  I try to incorporate serious and funny in all of my shit.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Bottom line is, my children, the fundamentals I want to give you all. Find it, love it, identify with what you love, become one with that thing. Pursue it to the point where you become so engulfed in it, you don't know nothing else other than that. Walk in your purpose is what it evolves into.

• 57:12Steven Bartlett?

  What kind of human beings do they need to be? Character traits?

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Alright, this is what it needs to be.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Some of it might sound fucked up.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  First thing is you gotta be selfish as hell.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  You gotta be selfish. I don't give a fuck. It's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the sacrifice, but without great sacrifice and without great risk, there is no such thing as great reward. Can't have one. There's, that doesn't, there's no, that math will never math.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? You have to have, and I don't like this word, but I'm gonna say it because it's true. You have to be a little man- maniacal with this shit. Maniac, right? That word isn't good in a lot of situations, but when you're pursuing your destiny, when you identify with your destiny, you have to be selfish. You have to be maniacal. You have to be uncompromising.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  And you have to move in a way, when it comes to those three things, when you function completely in a way where it's an unwavering faith. Like, it don't matter how fucked up that shit might look. It don't matter how much it feel like it ain't gonna work.

• 58:37Steven Bartlett?

  Delusional.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  Complete delusion.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  You gotta believe the delusion. Because it's only delusional until it works.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  So is it really delusional?

• 58:54Speaker 01

  A motherfucker only gonna call it delusion until it don't work for nobody else to see, but for the whole world to see. And then once the world see it, there's nothing delusional about it. Now, your delusion becomes, oh, he was a fucking genius. We didn't see it when he saw it. We didn't understand it when he did. We thought this motherfucker was crazy. But he definitely always, he always figured this thing was the thing to do and he's, he's stuck by that shit.

• 59:27Steven Bartlett?

  When you say selfish, obviously that word has got a lot of different connotations and meanings and, but I heard from it that the selfishness is focusing on serving yourself and your dreams and your mission.

• 59:40Steven Bartlett?

  Like you were somewhat selfish when you said, I want to be a rapper, even though your father's saying, I want you to come and be an electrical contractor. That was selfish of you to say, no, I want to take care of me first.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  That's selfish. I'm meaning even more extreme than that.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Selfish to my father because, in a way, I don't want to, I don't want to look at it as was selfish to him. I was just on some, I don't want to do what you want to do. That's not really being selfish. That's just having a difference in opinion, right? Selfish, when I say selfish, it means my children, right? I've had to miss moments that were never going to get back. I missed my oldest son's high school graduation.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  I missed

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  one of my daughter's college graduations.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  I've missed

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  times when I should have been there to teach

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  my child how to drive, or I should have been there to teach my child how to ride a bike. I missed a lot of that, right?

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  And

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  a lot of it had to do with

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  circumstance. And my circumstance, which I obviously contributed to creating for myself, I had to take responsibility for these choices that I made and these circumstances that I created for myself. And the, the situation that became a real life situation for me, left me very few choices. So there was a choice where I could be there for everything and then the money ain't where it need to be. Or

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  I'm going to do what I love, not just because I love it and it brings me joy and it brings me peace of mind. Because I would go to the studio

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  and when I'm in that studio and I close the door and then I'm in those four walls.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  I don't have to argue with the child's mother.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  I don't have to argue with my woman. I don't get talk back from people that choose to have a debate about shit that ain't even worth debating about. All of the unnecessary distractions, I can leave outside of that room. And when I'm in that room, I am fulfilling my destiny. I am fulfilling my soul and I'm making myself get to a place mentally where my peace of mind is so where it needs to be that not only am I allowed to become, feel, think and evolve into whatever place my mind takes me.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  I'm then able to get to that place emotionally, spiritually, mentally. Create something, put it in a song. Change the effect that I can have as an impact through this thing that I'm blessed with as a gift. And then I could come down off of that and be in a happier place. So that when I do get back around the people that I gotta argue with, I'm in a better place to deal with them.

• 1:03:18Steven Bartlett?

  Is there sort of guilt associated with that as you've sort of matured and understood and, you know, had time to reflect on missing those key moments? I worry about this a lot because I'm a workaholic and I think my work is in many respects some kind of psychological escape. Um, and I'm concerned that when I do have a kid, I've got a partner, been together four years, I'm thirty one now, that I might use my work as an excuse to not be there or I might not make the necessary adjustment to realize that I only get one bike ride moment.

• 1:03:55Steven Bartlett?

  So.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  I'm gonna tell you something.

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  There is no right way and no wrong way when it comes to making that decision. Other than what you know in your heart. I definitely live with guilt. I feel like there was things that I could have done without

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  to be there for my children.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  But I also feel like that's me saying that now, right?

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  I'm in a different place now in my life than I was at that time. And at that time,

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  the mentality that I have now didn't exist then, right? And the mentality that needed to exist then for me to get to this mentality now was important. And it was a part of the needed components to exist in my journey for me to be able to have this conversation now, this mentality now. Was that survival? It definitely was survival. When you're dealing with four mothers, all having you in court systems, all getting significant amount of money for child support,

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  all not in the best place relationship wise with you.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Sometimes business is up, sometimes business is down. You have to be able to be swift and changeable regardless of the circumstances in order to stay remaindable. Because no matter if business is up or business is down, the courts don't care.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  The child support that needs to come every month, the mothers need to see it because they don't care. When your kids need what they need, they don't care. Because they didn't ask for this.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  You can't create an excuse. That's how I was raised. Your kid didn't ask to be put in a situation that you cannot do what you're supposed to do for them. So that's not their problem. You have to find a solution.

• 1:06:14Steven Bartlett?

  It's a lot of pressure.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  It's a lot. It's a lot. But I also feel like when you identify with your gift,

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  that's part of the gift. That's what makes it the gift. Because the most high usually don't give us more than we can handle. You know, and with that being said,

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  all of these things we talking about, which is one of the best questions that I love that you asked, right? What would I give my kids? And I keep coming back to that because I want my kids to understand

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  that focus on what you love is most primary. Being selfish, and when I say selfish, not just my kids, but even my woman. There might be a lot of shit she want to do. Sorry.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  I can't do it right now. I can't do it right now. I could do it later. And then there's moments when you can do it and you make the time and you do it. You know, but until there's another means of me being able to do what I love and find the fulfillment that I find while I'm doing what I love,

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  this is also a part of who y'all fell in love with.

• 1:07:29Steven Bartlett?

  Moments in our life, I think, help us to see things a little bit more clearly. And especially when they're really significant moments. And one of those moments that I see in your story is in 2012, where I think you're forty two years old at the time and your manager and friend Chris dies.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Rest in peace to Chris.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Chris was all that I knew.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  Everything, everything that I I learned after Chuck D and Hank Shockley and them, I learned it with Chris. I learned how to make my money with Chris. My tax brackets changed with Chris. My lawyers changed because Chris. My booking agents changed with Chris. My touring experiences changed with Chris. My ability to tell my mother to quit her job and never had to look back to work for nobody from nineteen ninety five to this day. All of that, I did it with Chris.

• 1:08:28Steven Bartlett?

  That day when you find out that Chris's past.

• 1:08:32Steven Bartlett?

  Can you take me to that day?

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  That day was so fucking terrible, bro.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  His life changed when this woman came into his life.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna dive too much into that part, but

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  I'm definitely gonna say that Chris's life changed, not for the better, when she came around.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  So

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  once that happened, it started to change the energy amongst the violated family.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  And I really wish, because I don't want this to be heard in a way where it seem like I'm shitting on the woman because I'm not shitting on the woman. I'm acknowledging the reality of the situation. As you can see, I'm not saying nothing bad about the woman. I'm just talking about, I'm I'm acknowledging a time period where a change transpired in a significant way and it happened after this woman came around. That's it.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Long story short, I think his daughter was was coming home from college and he he had to go and meet her at Grand Central Station in Manhattan.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  So...

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  He asked me for a ride to Grand Central Station.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  And, um... I give him the lift to Grand Central Station.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  And that's the last day that I saw him.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  The next morning, I get the call

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  from his assistant that something happened to him.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  And I'm asking what happened to him. And they just said he hurt himself, but they didn't say, you know, that he was dead. They just was like, he hurt himself.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  The assistant called this young lady, I forget her name, at the office. And when the young lady answered the phone, we're on the three-way.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  And she's crying and she's screaming on the phone.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  And

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  she just kept saying, "Chris hurt himself, Chris hurt himself." And the assistant is asking her, "What exactly did he do to himself?"

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  And she said, "She don't know. He just hurt himself." And then we asked if he was dead, and then she said she don't know.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  So when we got to Chris's home,

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  we couldn't go in the house. And, uh...

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  It wasn't until

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  you saw the coroner van come.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  And when you saw the van,

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  and then they reversed the van into the driveway to get as close to the door

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  of the house. Because it was a downstairs door. And then there was the regular door to go up the stairs and you go in the house from the front. But whatever happened to him, it happened downstairs. Because that's where his body was.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  And they went inside and they, um, they brought them black bags with them. Them body bags and, uh...

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  That's when it, that's when it got real. That's when it changed. Everything changed when you saw you saw the bags.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  And, uh...

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  We knew, um...

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  When they came out the, uh...

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  When they came out the basement with the bags and his body was in the bags.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  That's when you knew Chris was never coming back.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  So, uh...

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  You know, the crying started.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  And a lot of arguing started.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  A lot of threats started.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  And, uh...

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  My life was going in a whole nother direction after that.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  And I didn't like it.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Because I was confused about how to move. And I was lost for a minute.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Because, uh...

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  I never really had to manage my career without a manager. And he wasn't just a manager, he was my brother.

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  So it got scary for a minute.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  I couldn't get it together, that's why I didn't put out no record for nine years.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  And um, I started to just do different type of business with signing artists and uh.

• 1:14:34Speaker 01

  That's when we put out OT Genesis.

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  And um, we had some really good success with him.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  And um.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Signed a few other artists, you know, this one artist by the name of Stove, Stogard Cooks and I signed. You know, another young artist by the name of Murder Moog and.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  I um, I wasn't happy though with, with just doing it like that and. I just, I didn't feel comfortable putting out music. Until I got the right support system in place and I, I couldn't get it together.

• 1:15:18Steven Bartlett?

  When you say you couldn't get it together, what does that, what does that mean?

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  That means like.

• 1:15:23Steven Bartlett?

  Psychologically, you couldn't get it together.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  Psychologically, I couldn't get it together because I didn't feel like I had a support system that I could believe in enough. To make me feel like I am psychologically able to move with the comfort, the confidence. And the support that I know I'm gonna need. And the responsibility of trying to wear all of the hats myself, I was doing it. But I wasn't doing it at the level that Chris Lighty was able to do it.

• 1:15:53Steven Bartlett?

  And you were grieving at the same time.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  Absolutely, because I lost my father two years after Chris.

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  The two most important male figures in my life.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Chris was gone two thousand twelve, I lost my father two thousand and fourteen.

• 1:16:10Steven Bartlett?

  And you'd reconciled with him.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  I definitely reconciled with him before he passed. The problem is I didn't get to enjoy my time with him once we got good. So that was a horrible feeling too.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Because it's like

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  all of the time that was wasted, fucking not getting along was was stupid.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  Fucking stupid, you know what I'm saying? That's part of the reason why I started to really like get unhealthy and fucked up. I was trying everything to drown the pain and the frustration and the suffering of those losses

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  by overworking, overdrinking, oversmoking weed and cigarettes.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  And it got so bad that I got to the weight of three hundred and forty pounds. I've never been that, I'm I'm not even built to be that heavy.

• 1:17:14Speaker 01

  It's it's funny, it's like I look back at certain pictures and I looked at how overweight I was. I look at my skin, yeah, there's certain pictures I had, I had these like marks on my face.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  I I hate those pictures, like I see the darkness in those pictures, you know?

• 1:17:32Steven Bartlett?

  There's this book called The Body Holds the Score, but the title is just the thing that I I I've I've actually gained the most from, it just says that when there's things going on in our psychology and our mind, the body will show it.

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 1:17:44Steven Bartlett?

  We'll eat, we'll drink, we'll go to sleep, but you'll see it in the body before you see it in the mind. The mind is invisible, obviously.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:17:50Steven Bartlett?

  The the body is the first place to see it, and I was reading through that phase of your life and you were on sort of breathing machines when you were sleeping and things like.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Nah, I wasn't on a breathing machine, I had sleep apnea.

• 1:17:59Steven Bartlett?

  Oh, yeah, sleep apnea, okay.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had sleep apnea, I was, um.

• 1:18:02Steven Bartlett?

  You drank yourself into a coma at one point?

• 1:18:05Speaker 01

  I drank myself into, not a coma, I drank myself into an inability to wake myself up.

• 1:18:12Steven Bartlett?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  I had to be woken up by my son and my security in L A. It took like forty five minutes and we had just come back from hanging out at a club called Pappy's. He sat me down the next day, he was like, listen.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  I don't wanna hurt your feelings cuz you my father.

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  And I don't even know if I got the strength to say it to you now, but I had a conversation with the security.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  I need you to listen to them because I'm too scared to tell you how I feel. That's how bad it was.

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  My son ain't never speak to me like that in my life, but I needed to hear it.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  But he couldn't even say it to me because that's how much he still was trying to protect my feelings.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  But this is the first time that I knew I really disappointed my son. All that Busta Rhymes shit was cool up until this moment when he saw this shit.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  And he's been seeing it, but this is when it hits the low. That conversation fucked me up. The next day, the doctors with the prednisone and I went to the doctor. I'm breathing so fucked up that outside of the door, the doctor was like, yo,

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  why you breathing like that? And he wasn't even in the room with me. He's coming in the room. And I said, breathing like what? Because I was doing it this so for so long over the last three years that I was it was starting to sound normal to me. The doctor said, I'm sending you to the hospital cuz he stuck this shit in my throat. And when he saw how big the fucking pallops was, it blocked ninety percent of my breathing passage. He said, if he sends me home and I take a shower and the central air system is blowing and I catch a draft that can lead to me catching a cold and that last ten percent of my breathing gets blocked up because of a swollen gland from a sore throat or some shit, I can die in my sleep that night.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  He said, "I'm gotta call an ambulance for you. I'm in California. LA, he says, "I need you to go right now to UCLA Medical Center into the emergency room, and I'm gonna call the head person at the hospital to have them admit you immediately. You need to go into surgery tomorrow."

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  I said, "I ain't going in no ambulance." He said, "Well, then you have to sign this document that will exemplify me. If you don't listen and something happens and you die between now and when you get to the hospital." I ain't never been spoken to like this in my life. This is when I knew this shit was crazy. My son now, I'm calling him, telling him to meet me at the hospital. We get to the hospital, and I'm in the doctor's office, and they doing all the preliminary shit before they gotta admit me into the emergency. My son is talking to me, and he tells me,

• 1:21:22Speaker 01

  "I thought you was gonna die last night.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  And I ain't never been this scared, Dad, but I'm scared you're gonna die. I lost Grandpa already. I can't lose you too. Can you please stop drinking? Can you please stop smoking? Can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to be?"

• 1:21:49Speaker 01

  Finished me.

• 1:21:53Speaker 01

  At that point,

• 1:21:56Speaker 01

  I made up my mind. I'm gonna get this surgery. When I get this surgery, I'm going to get in shape. I go home. On the way home, Dexter Jackson, bodybuilder competitor, who used to compete in the Olympia. He became

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  a Mr. Olympia champ. This man pops up in my stories, driving in his car in Jacksonville, Florida, and he's spitting the vocals to put your hands where my eyes could see. And then I hit him in the DM, and I said, "Mr. Jackson, I'm a huge fan of you as a professional bodybuilder. Is there any way that we could get on the phone? I need your help."

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  He hits me back, he sends me his number, I call him on the phone. I said,

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  "Thanks for calling me, I salute you, Mr. Jackson. Can we please figure out a way to get me back in shape?" That man said to me, "You saw you ready, boss?" And I said, "Absolutely." He said, "You gotta come to Jacksonville, and you gotta stay here for thirty days. Tell your girl she can't come. Tell your kids you'll see them in thirty days. I need to put you through something for thirty days before we continue this journey. You survive this thirty days, I know you serious."

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  I rented a motherfucking mansion for like seven bedrooms. I went and got a cameraman to document it, my meal prep chef, my masseuse, because I knew that that workout was gonna fuck me up every day, and I needed somebody to rub these muscles up. I got my recording engineer, so I didn't need to leave the house. I got an assistant.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  And that was about it. Stayed in the fucking crib for thirty days. Lost about twenty-seven pounds in thirty days. These dudes that I'm surrounded by,

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  by way of my first bodybuilding competitor trainer, Victor Munoz, and my second primary trainer, the legendary Mr. Olympia himself, Dexter Jackson, I was able to get my shit together, bro.

• 1:24:17Speaker 01

  And once I got my health, and once I got my mind, and I got my spirit right,

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  and I started to be proud of me, when I looked at me, and my kids was looking at me, and they would say shit that you could only hear once you did what you needed to do and put in the work you needed to put in, so that it shows.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  They're not gonna say it if it don't look like the way they need to see it, so they could say what they need to say.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  When that happened,

• 1:24:53Speaker 01

  you hearing the right shit, you feeling the right love, that shit was lifting my spirit so much. And then, I'mma tell you something.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  Going through this pandemic was another serious challenge mentally and emotionally and spiritually.

• 1:25:17Speaker 01

  My brothers Pharrell, Williams and Swiss Beats. And big up to Timbaland too, because all four of them is the executive producers of this new album Blockbuster.

• 1:25:27Steven Bartlett?

  Which is out right now?

• 1:25:28Speaker 01

  Absolutely. The Blockbuster album is out and I'm super grateful to everybody that participated in helping this magic happen and come together.

• 1:25:36Steven Bartlett?

  This is, this is the culmination of all of the experience and all of the life stories that we've talked about. But the thing that really stood out to me is you've made the decision to put people on this album who are young, up and coming, fresher artists who you haven't really worked with previously. And you've worked with bloody everybody. Everybody, but you chose to give these younger artists a platform for some reason.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  Two reasons. The first reason is I'm never gonna listen to the narrative of this thing where

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  I would hear it

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  a little more regularly than I actually choose to hear it. I actually don't ever want to hear it, but it's this bullshit about how the elder statesmen or the older MCs don't really respect what the new guys is doing. That shit is bullshit. At least

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  speaking for myself and the, the type of artists that I surround myself with, we don't feel like that. We don't move like that. We encourage that shit because when we was young artists, we wanted the big dudes to put their arms around us and give us game and school us and teach us shit so we could be better. You know what I'm saying? Chuck D gave me my name. Big Daddy Kane used to let me come to his crib and ask questions. He put me on his albums. He used to help me learn, let me learn. Bring me the shows that he was performing at. Fucking, um, De La Soul, they did the same shit for us, like.

• 1:27:07Speaker 01

  Too many MCs gave us the guidance that made me great. I feel like it's only right that we do the same shit for the next generation of motherfuckers, especially if they dope. And I'm a fan of a lot of these new artists. And I wanna work with them because they still inspiring me to wanna go in the studio and stay razor blade sharp with my shit when I gotta do my shit. You know what I'm saying? And I see a lot of them paying homage. There's a lot of motherfuckers walking around with their hairstyles like how I used to wear it with my dreads. There's a lot of motherfuckers that dress and they throw their heavy jewelry on that do it the way I used to do it and still do it.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  I just ain't got the dreads no more, but all that other shit, we still doing it. But I just wanna make sure that they they know we're not only here to give them the answers and the mentorship and the guidance and the information so they could be that much more sharper when they're being creative or when they're sitting in the fucking corporate office negotiating a deal with their lawyers and their managers. But I also want them to know that we love them too. We're fans of what they doing. We see y'all paying homage and we want y'all to know we paying homage to y'all too.

• 1:28:16Steven Bartlett?

  One of the things I always think is destined to own the future is when the when both the past and present come together. And I say that with all due respect because sometimes people see projects like this as you passing the torch, but what you're actually doing is sharing the flame.

• 1:28:30Speaker 01

  Sharing the fucking flame. You couldn't have said it better. Cause I ain't I ain't putting the flame out no time soon.

• 1:28:36Steven Bartlett?

  Well, you're thirty three years deep and it's still you're still selling out the shows and doing the arenas and killing the game. And I I'm I'm so excited by this project because for those reasons, because you have you have two sort of generations coming together to create the future. And that's what's so exciting. And I have to say from this conversation, everything you say and understanding the man that Buster is, puts so much more meaning into the lyrics, into the album and the record.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:29:03Steven Bartlett?

  So everyone needs to go check this album out right now, wherever you stream anything. Please go check it out because it's one hell of a project. And you're you know, you talked about that Google CEO who you inspired when he was ten years old. You were that person and you still are that person for me.

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  Thank you, King.

• 1:29:17Steven Bartlett?

  So it's such an honor to have to to get to spend this time with you today.

• 1:29:21Speaker 01

  Thank you, brother. Likewise, man, for real.

• 1:29:23Steven Bartlett?

  I really appreciate it.

• 1:29:25Speaker 01

  The questions you ask. The places you went, I didn't expect it. I'm glad I wasn't prepped. I'm glad I wasn't prepped. I'm glad. You know what I'm saying? I just was given a prerequisite of how important you mean in this space, in your platform. And congratulations to the

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  your evolution and your success with what you've been able to create for yourself.

• 1:29:49Steven Bartlett?

  Thank you, brother.

• 1:29:50Speaker 01

  And becoming a successful businessman. I was driven and inspired by the story that I was being told about you. And I was like, oh, no, fuck that. I gotta come pull up. And I'm taking my time.

• 1:30:01Steven Bartlett?

  I appreciate you.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  Because we're gonna do this shit properly. And I've never done an interview in thirty-three years. Never done an interview this in-depth. Number two, I ain't never sat with nobody this motherfucking long and did no interview in Europe in my life neither. So you hold a record, bro.

• 1:30:18Steven Bartlett?

  I appreciate you, honestly. It's one of the greatest honors of me ever getting to do this is hearing that from you. So thank you so much, Buster.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  Thank you. It's an honor and a pleasure, brother. Appreciate you, King.