This Hidden Belief May Be Sabotaging Your Abundance | Brendon Burchard

Brendon Burchard shares a powerful truth most high performers miss: creating significant life changes is more dependent on an understanding of sociology than psychology. While personal discipline and habits matter, the real breakthroughs happen when you surround yourself with people who see possibilities in you that you don't yet see in yourself. You're likely stuck not because something is wrong with you, but because you're an A player performing on a B field. The path forward isn't about working harder or gaining more information. It's about investing in the right rooms, whether that's a mastermind, a volunteer group, or a team that elevates your thinking and challenges your timeline for what's possible. The Greatness Playbook: The Network is Net Worth EditionULTRABrendon’s books:The Millionaire Messenger: Make a Difference and a Fortune Sharing Your AdviceThe Charge: Activating the 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel AliveThe Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal PowerLife's Golden Ticket: A Story About Second ChancesHigh Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That WayThe High Performance PlannerIn this episode you will:Unlock the proximity audit framework to identify which relationships expand you and which ones drain your potentialDiscover why sociology is more powerful than psychology when creating breakthrough moments in your business and lifeTransform from showing up as your minimal self to consistently embodying your aspirational self in every areaBreak through the plateau that comes from relying solely on personal discipline and self-improvement tacticsMaster the art of making strategic bets on yourself by investing in rooms where excellence is the standardFor more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1887For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Lewis Howes [SOLO]Brené BrownTony Robbins Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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• 0:00Brendon Burchard?

  Most people really believe they're gonna change their lives with their own personal will. It will make you great to a certain extent, but you will plateau at a certain level. You'll be dissatisfied, you'll be bored, you'll be frustrated. There's nothing wrong with you. Name a legend who didn't have a legendary team.

• 0:16Lewis Howes?

  Or a legendary coach.

• 0:17Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, find one. I don't know any.

• 0:20Lewis Howes?

  He is one of the most respected teachers of high performance in the world. Worked with elite performers, entrepreneurs, and leaders at the highest levels. The inspirational Brendon Burchard.

• 0:30Brendon Burchard?

  If you're around a bunch of what about people, that's called like prison. You share a dream, they go, oh, but what about taxes? Oh, but what about you have to hire people? The people who you're around, that's everything.

• 0:42Lewis Howes?

  For people that are looking to create the next level of financial abundance or personal abundance in their life, is it a strategy problem or an environment problem?

• 0:51Brendon Burchard?

  So what a lot of people miss?

• 0:55Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. I'm very excited about our guest today. We have the inspirational Brendon Burchard. And if you don't know Brendan, he is one of the most respected teachers of high performance in the world. He's a number one New York Times bestselling author. He's trained and coached millions of people across more than 190 countries. Worked with elite performers, entrepreneurs, and leaders at the highest levels. And he's built a personal development company that's become a global force for good. And in this interview, I want it to be more of a conversation where we help people unlock the power of their mind, of what is possible to achieve at the highest level, while also having the deepest level of fulfillment

• 1:37Lewis Howes?

  and having free time to do exactly what they're meant to do in life. And I'm very excited that you're here today because we have so many powerful behind the scenes conversations that people don't get access to. So I want this to feel like a behind the scenes conversation. Because so much that we just talked for an hour that we should have recorded it.

• 1:57Brendon Burchard?

  We should have.

• 1:58Lewis Howes?

  And a lot of these we talk about are, you know, around standards, around identity, around relationships, around big thinking possibilities. And I think so many people. Get stuck in their life because they're bogged down by the stress, the responsibilities, what they feel like they have to do. And it's hard to think in a way beyond where their limitations are at now. And I want to ask you to start this off around the power of masterminds. I have some good stories. I know you've got some good stories to share. But if someone here is watching or listening, has some type of dream,

• 2:37Lewis Howes?

  has some type of bigger goal, but they haven't been able to tap into it yet, maybe because of their environment, their limited mindset, they don't have the right relationships yet, whatever it might be. But what actually happens when a human being who has a big goal or a big dream, when they get into a room where excellence is the norm

• 2:57Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 2:57Lewis Howes?

  from that group of people?

• 3:00Lewis Howes?

  And big dreams are possible for that group of people. What actually happens when someone is able to get into a room of the right people who also think like them?

• 3:09Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, it's rocket fuel. It's the catalyst. You know, if you had a child and you wanted them to learn better math, how can you do it? You get a better textbook? You're getting better calculator, you're getting better tools, you're getting better AI. You can get somebody gear. You can get them things. But get a better teacher? Everything shifts. Get them in a better school. Everything shifts. And you know, we're coming out of time where everybody just set all these big goals for themselves. And often their goals is very tactical. It's, I'm going to do this discipline. I'm going to have this habit. I'm going to run this routine. You know, I'm going to say this affirmation to myself. It's self-help. It's self-improvement. And that's important. You and I, you know, we espouse that.

• 3:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:52Brendon Burchard?

  Personal empowerment is everything. However, what most people miss is that sociology is often more powerful than psychology.

• 4:00Lewis Howes?

  What does that mean?

• 4:01Brendon Burchard?

  Sociology is get around people. When you're in an environment of other people, you're incredible. You and I both coach athletes. And, you know, there's this myth that every athlete must go to practice so hyped. They have a contract. You know, they're playing professional sports. They're stoked, they're walking into practice amazing. You and I work with athletes all the time. I coach them at high performance all the time. NFL players, the best of the best. And here's what's true. They drag themselves into that locker room. They shuffle their feet like your teenager does going to school. They'd come into the practice or the gym, they're like, ah. But soon as they get in there, there's five other guys lifting, having a good time. They're lifting. Soon as the coach is on the practice field, so like, run. They're running.

• 4:46Brendon Burchard?

  They're doing drills. They're doing things that they would not do by themselves because they're in a social environment where that is the thing. Yes. And in the entrepreneurial world, that's where the mastermind is. You're getting into a room where you probably wouldn't run this promotion. You probably wouldn't think this big. You're probably showing up to your work each day, kind of shuffling in, I gotta do this. I gotta answer these emails, I gotta send that promotion out. But when you're around other people who are hyped and they have drills and they coach and there's this expectation, you lift. And every great player in any professional sports team knows the quality of their team and the quality of their coach takes them to another level. Absolutely. They've already, they already have decent nutrition. They already care about sleep. They're, the basics are covered.

• 5:31Brendon Burchard?

  It's that you're not going to do 20 more things. What's gonna happen is you're gonna change one thing. And that is your environment, the people who you hang around. Yes. And soon as you do that at a high level, it shifts you into like a gear that it's impossible to describe to people because most people really believe they're gonna change their lives with their own personal will. And that is true until you plateau.

• 5:54Brendon Burchard?

  Your personal will, it will change your life. It will get you outstanding results. It will make you great to a certain extent. But you will plateau at a certain level and you will know it. You'll be dissatisfied, you'll be bored, you'll be frustrated. You'll sense like, why do people have it more than me? And there's nothing wrong with you. This time of year, people think, well, your mindset is bad.

• 6:19Brendon Burchard?

  Everyone thinks this time of year, your habits are bad. I'm like, oh, nothing's bad.

• 6:24Brendon Burchard?

  You're just probably an A player playing on a B field. We gotta get you an A player playing on an A field.

• 6:31Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 6:32Brendon Burchard?

  You're not doing, most people aren't doing anything wrong. That's the myth. Everyone's doing things wrong. Like, most people are really working hard. They really care. They really try. They really believe in service. They want to live aspirational lives. Something I want to talk with you about today.

• 6:47Brendon Burchard?

  But they've plateaued their personal will, self-discipline and mindset. We can improve those things and we know we can, I double percent digits. But if you want like step change, a step change, that comes from sociology. The people who you're around, that's everything. Step changes only happen in sociology. Step changes rarely happen in individual. We can talk, that's true in individualism and that's true in evolution.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I guess if you're like so far behind, if you're so far behind in every area of your life and you flip the switch psychologically and say, I'm going to have more discipline, better habits. I'm going to eat better. I'm going to train. I'm going to sleep better. You might see growth, but then once you get to a certain level of success, it's really hard to get a step change after you've kind of gone from rock bottom to like a new norm. Right? It's hard to get real exponential growth at that level unless you're around the right people. Is what I'm hearing you say.

• 7:45Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Lewis Howes?

  Cause the right opportunities come from people, not from you just gaining more tools. Getting more information. Right? It's like, reading more is great and it's going to keep you on track. And maybe it unlocks something here and there, but being around the right relationship can completely change your life.

• 8:00Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, those are requirements for success.

• 8:02Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 8:03Brendon Burchard?

  But the step change is different because I always tell people, name a legend who didn't have a legendary team.

• 8:10Lewis Howes?

  Or a legendary coach.

• 8:11Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, find one. I don't know any. You know, you have so many great sports examples of people going from an average team to a better team. And then that was their most excellent season of all time.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 8:23Brendon Burchard?

  Or even if you have someone who's so extraordinary, who can shift an entire team, it still took that person so much work to shift the entire team.

• 8:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:32Brendon Burchard?

  So as soon as we get around that, I always tell people, who is your team really? If you want to earn seven figures, are you around seven figure people? And even if you are beginning on a journey, you're like, oh, I just want to earn a basic income or I want to do whatever. I'm like, okay, are you in a room with people, even if they don't have that? Is there openness possibility for you at that level? Or is there possibility for you set on history?

• 9:05Brendon Burchard?

  Cause I'll share, you know, Louis and I, we were talking to camera, but it's like, we were off camera. And one of the first questions Louis asked me today was, you know, what would make this year? If we got to the end of the year and it was a great year? What would have happened?

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 9:25Brendon Burchard?

  That's friends who talk about future orientation and aligning to that. But most people are surrounded by people who are like, well, I knew you this way in high school. Or no, you're this way in the house, or this is your job. And so they're just not around people who are asking the questions to grow you into an aspirational self.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting because when I was growing up, I really struggled in school. And I, and I would, I had a belief that I wasn't smart. I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't smart enough, that I would never, no matter how hard I worked, I wasn't going to get, you know, in the middle of the class even, I was always in the bottom of the class. So I had a belief that followed. Essentially, I'm not smart enough. And I was like, man, is this going to hold me back my entire life? Because I don't have the skills or the smarts. So I always be broke essentially. And everything changed for me when I went to my first mastermind in 2009. And within a couple of months after that mastermind,

• 10:27Lewis Howes?

  the year before, I think my business had done $250,000 in sales. This was the first few years of me getting into business. Two months after this mastermind, we did half a million in sales from five relationships I built from the mastermind. And everything unlocked for me because I said, oh, I don't have to be smarter to earn more. Sure, I need to have skills and I need to work hard and, you know, put myself in the right position and, and have some type of value that I can bring to people. But in order to get to the next level, it was being in a mastermind, adding value to five people out of this kind of 25 person group, building relationships and adding value and seeing how I could help them.

• 11:09Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Lewis Howes?

  And in return, they said, hey, let's do a project together, let's do a webinar, which I was doing at the time, and we'll sell your program. And it was the collaborative aspect of adding value in a mastermind, learning from them, seeing what they were doing with the possibilities, and then taking massive action within those couple of months and partnering with them. That it unlocked it. I was like, I didn't get any smarter to earn this money. I had the same knowledge, essentially. It was all about relationships and how I built that relationship with those individuals. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, my gosh, I could actually make it in this world. I don't have to be, I can be at the bottom of my class and still make it. I can almost blunk out of high school and I can still be okay.

• 11:54Lewis Howes?

  It unlocked something in me. I was like, oh, I just have to love on people. That's it. Add value and be in the right room. Yep. Be in the right room and don't force anything and allow for possibilities. If something naturally happens, great. And if not, just keep being in the right rooms. So good. And being in the right rooms for the last, I guess, seventeen, eighteen years now is what has allowed me to build the School of Greatness, build my business, build my brand. It's the collaborative aspect of other people who are dreaming and thinking big and willing to collaborate. Yes. And I would say that is kind of like what unlocked my world of yes, I still want to learn and I want to develop, you know, and interviewing people who write the books is kind of my way of reading, right?

• 12:38Lewis Howes?

  It's like, okay, I'm learning skills still, but it's really the relationships that has unlocked things. We've known each other for what now? Like, when we started? Probably like early two thousand teens, right? Two thousand ten, eleven, so it's probably been fifteen years. Definitely fifteen years. But fifteen years of building a relationship, you know, and being in this world together. It's like the long-term thinking of relationships. Whether it's a mastermind or just being in the right room with each other, it's building those relationships long-term, create possibilities. And I think that's what people struggle with because we all know a lot of people who are like the one in their group where they adventure off and try something. They start a side hustle, they start a business, they start doing something different than their friend group.

• 13:23Lewis Howes?

  But they always say, no one understands me. Right. Or people are telling me, ah, don't take that risk, or you shouldn't be doing that, or they're getting judged for what they're doing. Until they enter a mastermind room, or a group, or they go to an event where they see other people doing what they're doing. And they say, wow, these are my people, right? We do this all the time. Right. For those that are interested in joining a mastermind, we have one. Me and Brendan have one. There's an event coming up here soon. If you go to lewishouse.com/ultra, you'll get all the information about what our mastermind is, what it includes, the mentorship and coaching from both me and Brendan, and all the incredible entrepreneurs that are already in it, and what you'll get out of it. If you're interested, go check it out, lewishouse.com/ultra.

• 14:07Lewis Howes?

  And for those that are not sure if they're ready for something like that yet, or they want to do something locally in their own community, there are other resources out there that can support you in kind of finding that. I think this conversation got people started with it. It's like, hey, there's Rotary Group, there's Kiwanis Group, there's local charities, there's different things that you could be doing locally as well. Also, if you're just following someone online that you're like, that person's really cool and rad, like just message them and say, hey, let's create a little, a little three to four person group and meet up once a month, once a week on a Zoom call, and just talk about ideas, talk about what we're working on, what our challenges are. That's a form of creating proximity as well, and you can start that with anyone that you're inspired by.

• 14:51Lewis Howes?

  But I really see the value of having a structure, having a coach and a mentor, having a curriculum as well, and accountability steps every week, every month, in a community that supports you, who are all achieving high things. And after fifteen to twenty years of both of us doing masterminds on our own, we've kind of taken the best of our lessons and the biggest of our mistakes and tried to put it into one group. With all of our wisdom and knowledge and with Brendan, who's, you know, coaching some of the biggest billionaires and companies in the world, number one New York Times bestseller. You've sold how many? I don't know, five, 10, 20 million books, all these different things. And with everything that I've done in the school of greatness and my businesses and

• 15:34Lewis Howes?

  brand, we're bringing our collective minds together to serve everyone in Ultra. So again, go to LewisHowes.com/ultra, get signed up, come to the next event. It's coming up here pretty soon. The dates will be on there. And if not, come back and listen to this and just apply what you're learning to this right now and get yourself started until you are ready for that, if you're just getting started. That's what I want to have people take away with because proximity is power. Masterminds are something that I'm going to constantly invest in for the rest of my life, whether it's through an amateur sports club, investing in bringing six Olympians to teach me.

• 16:10Brendon Burchard?

  I love that so much.

• 16:11Lewis Howes?

  Whether it's investing in the best business mind like Brendan and being a part of our mastermind together, whether it's a relationship coach, whatever it might be, I'm investing in teachers, coaches, mentors, groups, rooms to be in.

• 16:26Lewis Howes?

  I want to be in the room where it happens, right, Hamilton? Let's go.

• 16:29Brendon Burchard?

  Yes.

• 16:33Lewis Howes?

  And I guess what is your, when did you first realize? Because you started writing books and you were coaching and a consultant before you kind of got into this world, but when did you realize that being around the right people was more valuable than just gaining more skills?

• 16:53Brendon Burchard?

  First realizing, probably first aha realization was in high school. I was going to drop out of high school. I didn't enjoy going to school. I didn't enjoy learning. I was making money mowing lawns.

• 17:06Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:07Brendon Burchard?

  I was like, what do I need high school for? I was from a small town in Montana. We had moved to this town. I didn't know people really well yet. And I just didn't have a great time because something amazing had happened in my family. My, somebody on my mother's side had passed away in Europe and left some money to our family to go to the funeral. And we were a family, they didn't have that kind of money. We grew up very poor. Our parents weren't using, the four of us, there was no money. So this opportunity to go to Europe. Right. Was like this, like winning a lottery. Wow. From a town where, we grew up in an economically depressed town. They'd been economically depressed for a century. Like, this is a huge deal. This Montana, where it was?

• 17:52Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, yeah, we were in Butte, Montana, and then Great Falls, Montana. And so this was a huge, like, for us to go to Europe? This was so outside, it was unbelievable. And so I went to all my teachers, I said, we get to go to Europe. And much of my teachers are like, oh, that's amazing. Hey, I'm gonna give you this assignment, you know, oh, you're gonna be in Paris, go to Louvre. You know, oh, you're gonna be here, you know, write this little article when you come back and teach to the kids. You know, take some pictures and do a slideshow back then, slideshow of your trip. It was a big deal and everyone was excited about it. And then they had rolled out that year in school, though, this new rule that says, you cannot miss a certain number of days of school. Otherwise, you're expelled. And you miss this semester or the term. And you either have to take summer school or catch up the following year.

• 18:39Brendon Burchard?

  And so the principal calls me and I heard you were gonna have this trip. You can't go, you're gonna miss it. And we're like, what do you mean, we can't go? So literally, he tells me I can't go. I go home, I'm so upset, I cried to my parents, I'm like, I can't go. And they're like, what? So they go in, they talk with the principal, not a nice person. We end up petitioning the school board. And literally, in a, in a public, like, school board meeting,

• 19:05Brendon Burchard?

  they, which was televised on TV, they literally go, we understand why you wanna go, young man, but if you could go, then everybody else could go, you can't go. Oh, man. And I'm like devastated about it. So I'm like, F school, F these people. You know, Mark Twain said, you know, there's more of a, like, never let school get in the way of an education. Yeah. And so I went. And I came back and I was never gonna go back to high school. I was bitter, I was upset, I was like, screw these people, I had the best time of my life. I learned about people and culture. I saw something so amazing, you know, it was just when you're a 16 year old kid and you go abroad, it's just so eye opening. Yes. It was life changing, so I came back, I'm like, I don't, why don't you go this?

• 19:48Brendon Burchard?

  But at, for one of the teachers, I did go back and do the slideshow about the Louvre. And in the back, the high school journalism teacher came in to see the presentation. She walked up to me afterwards and she says, you're really, you have an eye. I would like you to come back and be a photographer of the school newspaper. And I was like, what? I didn't have that competency, I didn't know what to do. And I was just gonna go make it on my own in the world. I end up learning over summer with her and the photography teacher, how to do photography. Long story short, I joined the journalism crew there. We all become great friends. That crew wins the number one newspaper in all of the United States of America.

• 20:33Brendon Burchard?

  I win second place of all kids doing photography for high school journalism. Wow. This group of us with like barely any computers is competing with the biggest high schools in the country. And we're just slaying. We're just, we're cleaning up the award because we have a great teacher. And we're all in it together. None of us have a journalism background, she teaches us that. But it was just like, we created something of greatness. Like top award winning things. It was called the Great Falls High School Inua. And it was unbelievable, like she had years of students achieving greatness. And a lot of people thought it was her, it's like, no, the camaraderie she built that opened us up to the idea that we can become world class at something?

• 21:18Brendon Burchard?

  Not, are you, not, you know, can you do this? Cause a lot of people around, but what about people? You, you share a dream, they go, well, but what about taxes? Oh, but what about you have to hire people? But what about, and if you're around a bunch of, but what about people? That's called like prison, you know? But when you get around people who are like, they believe in your dream, they can see it. But more importantly, they see something more for you than you do.

• 21:44Brendon Burchard?

  I had a dream of being free from school. She saw that I could be great at something that I didn't even see. And your life is not just a measure of how great individually you become. Your life is opened up by gates of generosity by other people. It's true. Who see something in you that you never did. And I know as we talk, I know a lot of people never had that. Cause I know a lot of my friends, they never had that. They never had that teacher, they went to that same high school, they didn't have Mrs. Baloo. They never had somebody go, I know you're struggling, I don't even want to quit. I know life sucks, but I see something in you.

• 22:28Brendon Burchard?

  And when someone sees something in you, it's just like, you don't even know to thank God yet. Cause you don't believe it yet. They, they see a possibility in you. And everybody listening, somebody probably did that for you in life. The challenge is that most people leave that gate of opportunity to luck, or chance, or God's grace. Like that, I was lucky that happened to me. Yeah, hopefully someone shows up in my life and helps me and. It was unbelievable. And then when I got to the professional world, I was like, oh, I can invest to be in that room? Where there's a hundred people who feel that way to me?

• 23:10Brendon Burchard?

  And when I share an idea, they, they might go, great idea. Let me give you the tools, the resources, the connection. But they might even go, that, that's good kid, but um, you're kind of playing small. Have you ever thought you could? So I just, I just thought I could take a picture and I'd like to take a picture. She thought I could become like in the best in the country. Now she had no right to believe that, she just could see a passion there. And it was only a developing passion. And so what I tell people, if you were a kid and you had that opportunity and somebody believed in you. First, please be thankful for God for that, cause that's rare. Second, please be that for somebody.

• 23:54Brendon Burchard?

  But third, if you're an adult and you're trying to get to a step change, you need to be in rooms and invest in being in rooms. I don't care if you've got to buy a conference, join a mastermind with us, go with somebody where you're in a room where people think like that. They see a higher possibility. They don't, it's important. It's just so weird to say this today. I know we're in a social media age, but it's like, I don't need a bunch of people who see me. I need a bunch of people who see beyond me into a future that's aspirational for me. Like, I don't need to, I don't need to just know, like, we're friends, but I have a huge vision for Lewis Howes.

• 24:36Brendon Burchard?

  That may or may not be something that you see or you sense. And I know you think about me because you've told me that before. We did an interview at, on your book tour. I didn't think I was very good at interviews. And you're like, you're good at this, we should do more. And that was, really, I am. And so it was affirmational for me.

• 24:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:54Brendon Burchard?

  But it was aspirational. It could see something beyond somebody.

• 24:58Lewis Howes?

  So what does that look like? Give me an example. You know, we've known each other for 15 years. We talk a lot, we work together in different things. I share with you my hopes and dreams. And I'm a pretty driven guy, you know, I'm clear, I'm focused, I've got a vision, I'm like going for it. What am I missing that you see as possible for me in the future?

• 25:16Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 25:17Lewis Howes?

  What would you say as a, as someone coaching me?

• 25:20Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 25:21Lewis Howes?

  Or mentoring me? That maybe I'm on the right track? Or I'm not even seeing something that I should be seeing? Or that I could be dreaming bigger or?

• 25:30Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 25:30Lewis Howes?

  Whatever it is, or shifting it in some ways, like?

• 25:32Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 25:33Lewis Howes?

  What would you say?

• 25:34Brendon Burchard?

  Uh, well, first, just languaging, I don't think you're missing anything.

• 25:38Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:39Brendon Burchard?

  And I think that's really important for people because so many people feel like, I must be missing something. Like, you're usually not missing something. It's just that. There are higher levels of strategy that bring greater fulfillment or impact. Yes. And sometimes it's just like, oh, I didn't know what that strategy was for that higher level. Notice, it's not saying impacting fulfillment isn't there. Yeah. It's often that there's a higher level. Yes. And for most people, if we're talking about like that higher level of strategy for impact or fulfillment, you know, it usually comes from just a couple of places. I think, one, you and I have come up, we're actually talking about this off camera, so this is not, you know, new intel. You and I came up in a media world.

• 26:22Brendon Burchard?

  And I think that the higher aspiration I have for most people in their life is that they, they're always doing media, that's important these days, but I really believe that that more intimate mentorship role. Having a mentor. You serving that. I think. Being a mentor to. Yeah, it's, it's hard because it's weird because I know I'm talking to you as a friend, but I'm talking to people who are listening who I love too. Yes. And I can tell people who are listening, uh, who know Lewis really well, that, uh, Lewis has a very humble spirit.

• 26:55Brendon Burchard?

  In a very good and beautiful way. And you're such a good man. Thank you. And in that humility of you interviewing other people and bringing such amazing information to the world, you've empowered people and you've changed their lives. Yeah. And, and, and sometimes we get so good at that at a mass level, we forget that sometimes being in the room with specific people and unlocking them, you mentoring them, you don't really think about that because you're so great at what you do. Like, you're so good at interviewing, we've hung out tons of times, you know, I, I've got two, two billion dollar valued companies that I'm like the major advisor to and have like multiple points into.

• 27:37Brendon Burchard?

  And so, but, but you, you don't think of, um,

• 27:45Brendon Burchard?

  Mentoring me because of those types of things. You're an amazing mentor. And so what a lot of people miss is they miss like, let me get 20 people who have major impact in the room, like major impact, and let me mentor them. Right? You interview them. Yes. But what I would say humbly to my humble friend is like, you're a Lewis Howes. Right, right, right. Like you have a ton of mentorship to give them directly. But what you're so good at, you always ask us so many questions, which is a Socratic way of mentoring. I don't want to take that away. Yes. But I would say it's not something you're missing. It's just like, I see that for you, like, if, if I sat you down with my four billionaire clients, I coach four billionaires every week. If I sat you down with them, I know you would ask them tons of questions,

• 28:30Brendon Burchard?

  but I also know you could push them. Right. Because I've seen you push me. Right. I, I know you push your audience, but there's, it's like, I would say, there's a certain group of people in your future. I don't know what it is. I just see it for you. World leaders, world changers, like major impact people who, you're already friends with so many of them. But there's a mentorship component there that would be powerful. I also think of learning, and we all have to learn this. How do we run empires? And have extraordinary amounts of free time that gives us adventure? And deep relationship free time? You run a ma- I don't think a lot of people, they might be seeing us. And I, I feel weird again, for those who are listening.

• 29:13Brendon Burchard?

  I do feel weird talking. I'm almost third personing this, so forgive me. But, but, but I'm aware, and I'm in a room, guys, with Lewis right here. We're in this amazing studio, but right off the studio, everybody, there's a huge office with conference and team, and it's gorgeous, and it's a super expensive building in LA. You know, this is like, some of you guys don't know, we, we are so connected to Lewis and his heart, we don't know, he runs an empire. Like, guys, this is bigger than you think. And sometimes when we're running empire, it, it, it takes, I love your experience right now. New dad. Yeah. That locks you into, oh, I, I need to set up more free time. A lot of people, they never understand the importance of setting up free time

• 29:58Brendon Burchard?

  in their business. Until one of three factors happen. One, they have family. Two, they get sick. Or three, they get sick of doing it all and they desperately need team.

• 30:09Lewis Howes?

  They get burnt out.

• 30:09Brendon Burchard?

  They get burnt out.

• 30:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:11Brendon Burchard?

  And those three conditions, you know, when those happen, they go on a search to go, how do I, how, how do I make the business scale?

• 30:19Brendon Burchard?

  And have more free time.

• 30:20Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 30:21Brendon Burchard?

  And that has been my quest in teaching our masterminds, that, that's been my quest. You know, I, I, I, most people know I'm pretty happy, enjoy a lucky kid because I've had the free time I've wanted for 15 years.

• 30:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I mean, because, listen, if you're an entrepreneur, you got a side hustle, you're trying to like launch a business or whatever it might be. If you start out on your own, you can really only get it, I mean, maybe there's some outliers, but you can only get it to a certain level on your own. Financially, in terms of like creating the product, selling the product, servicing the product, doing the customer support, creating the marketing. If you do it all on your own, maybe you can get to a few hundred thousand, maybe a million on your own with a few freelancers, but it's like, there's levels and then you're doing everything and it's, the quality diminishes.

• 31:05Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 31:05Lewis Howes?

  And then your time diminishes with your family, your friends, your, your quality of life diminishes. You might be earning more, but then at what expense? And then you learn, okay, we've got to, I've got to hire someone and then, oh, that person didn't work out. And then I have to create systems and processes and all these different things. You have to learn new skills to scale to new levels.

• 31:24Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 31:24Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 31:25Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 31:25Lewis Howes?

  You teach us a lot as well in our joint mastermind that we have. And, and it's, it's got growing pains, you know, to try to get there. But I think when you have the right people in the room to, to tell you, hey, you're going to come up against this in the future, you're going to be having the right coach or mentor to say, you're going to come up against this.

• 31:47Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 31:48Lewis Howes?

  So if you want to save three years of your life of going through hell, you know, trying to figure it out.

• 31:52Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 31:53Lewis Howes?

  Do these three things instead. You know, it's like saving this time, hiring the right people, getting the right systems to support you in the step changes faster.

• 32:02Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 32:02Lewis Howes?

  And less pain. So you can still have a life.

• 32:05Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 32:05Lewis Howes?

  That's the goal.

• 32:06Brendon Burchard?

  And we just don't run into that in business because in, in, in most business, in even most of our peers, they're so passionate about teaching discipline to solve the problem of personal focus.

• 32:20Brendon Burchard?

  Versus realizing if I gotta solve your discipline problem, really what I gotta do is solve your team problem. Because if your work has become such a chore that only discipline fuels it. When you started, you were interested, you were obsessed, you were passionate. My word, I geeked about it. Like, I love to geek out. It's like my business was geeking out. And then it gets to a certain point and it becomes a chore. And now it requires so much discipline. I'm forcing my will upon it. It's like, I often tell people, like, we often think, oh, force more discipline on it and it solves it. And, but the people who say that, go look in their real lives. They just bought a new building. They just got a new team. They're still espousing, I'm just all disciplined and like,

• 33:06Brendon Burchard?

  and they are, but often you get behind the scenes, it's like, actually, they hired some excellent killers. Who are weapons at work. And I think that a lot of people need to learn that. It's like, it's that old thing, I'll just share, come back to discipline metaphor. Cause you know, it ain't so much, because we're always trying to stay healthy. And I have one of my clients, you know, extraordinary person, covers of magazines, like unbelievable. I was at his house, has an amazing home gym. And he hired a personal trainer. So his goal last year was to get a certain fitness level. He didn't quite achieve it. So I'm at their house. I meet this personal trainer. I was like, oh, I know this personal trainer is famous on Instagram. So I knew who it was. And I know the person gets results. So we're all talking there.

• 33:50Brendon Burchard?

  And long story short, I take the personal trainer out in the backyard. This person has this huge acreage. Like, why didn't he get the results? That's what I asked. I was like, what happened? And the personal trainer basically explains, you know, all these formats that he has tried with this client. I mean, tons of strategies, tons of programming, you know, charts on the wall with gold stars and, you know, four by four splits and all this stuff that I didn't even know he was talking about. And I was like, okay, it was good. And he said, I don't know. Honestly, one of my goals was to ask you, you're the high performance guy. How do I get this guy to change? I go, um, do you have other clients in the area? He goes, oh yeah. I said, who are they? Kind of shared with me. I said, oh, bring two of them

• 34:33Brendon Burchard?

  to the workout from now on. Call me in 30 days.

• 34:38Brendon Burchard?

  We went back in, talked to the client. I said, hey, you know, you're investing a lot in both of us. I have a requirement of you. The requirement is, he's gonna bring two buddies over to your home gym, and you need to say yes. Do you agree? He's kinda, well, and he's, alright. Thirty days there. Most results we've ever got in a year of working together. Why, you think? Because the two other people in the room create social standards, social expectations. Two other people in the room can unlock you. But we've been taught to go into siloed, you know, social media world. And here's the thing that people don't think about.

• 35:18Brendon Burchard?

  In that experience, I bet a lot of people listening to me, just because I know people, you think, oh, those two other guys really unlocked him. I'm like, that's part of it. But guess what? When he's in that environment with other achievers, it's not just that he has to level up. He finds himself cheering them on. Of course. He finds himself coaching them. It's all, you got this. Yeah, yeah. He's, yeah, exactly. He's the person there lifting the weight off. Others are lifting you up, and you're lifting others. That's right. Yeah. It's not just getting you out of silo. It's putting you in some capacity of service. Yeah. If I put you in some capacity of service at people your level or higher, you reengage. It's not discipline. It's not a chore. You end up looking forward to it, because there's a little, we don't even know. It's like a hidden psychology.

• 36:03Brendon Burchard?

  We all have little helper brains. But we wanna help them. We wanna help people. Yeah, yeah. We have helper brains. We don't know it. And most people, because they're only helping themselves, they keep hitting the same discipline ceiling.

• 36:19Brendon Burchard?

  I just socially construct the right people around, and all of a sudden it's like, you've seen us do that in our mastermind, right? It's like, I just put the right people around. And everyone wins. Everyone wins. Right? Because that person, he thought he solved it by getting the best one person. A who? Right? He got the physical, you know. Coach. The trainer. He got a coach. It's like, yes, and now we need to put you in group. And soon as we do that, it doesn't need to be a lot. For him, it was two people in a gym. You know, for you and me, our first masterminds, they were super small.

• 36:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:51Brendon Burchard?

  It was like five, 10 people in the room. So this is not about, you need, you know, hundreds or two hundreds.

• 36:55Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 36:56Brendon Burchard?

  You know, you and I curate that for people now.

• 36:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:58Brendon Burchard?

  But, you know.

• 36:59Lewis Howes?

  If a few key people.

• 37:00Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, it's like, there's three people at your church.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 37:02Brendon Burchard?

  Who could unlock your next seven figures. There's three people who you could volunteer with in your local community, who could unlock the next seven figures. Next seven figures in your backyard. The issue is, you often don't know how to find it or how to scale it.

• 37:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:15Brendon Burchard?

  So you've gotta get around people. And I know it sounds funny because I'm the high performance guy. I'm like, so much of high performance is high performance team, high performance culture, high performance energy. Like, I walk into the school, greatness, guys, I wish you guys could see it. Like, I walk in here, the vibe is on.

• 37:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Brendon Burchard?

  Like, we took pictures off camera, everybody. There's like a vibe. There's music thumping. Uh, Lewis is surrounded by like aspirational people. They're in great shape. They got good vibe. They have spirit. They have soul. Marta might come through and just light the whole place up. You know, it's like, he, like, Lewis is surrounded by good energy.

• 37:47Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 37:48Brendon Burchard?

  And I'm surrounded, I know I can't do what I do in my life if I'm not surrounded by great energy.

• 37:53Lewis Howes?

  Hundred percent.

• 37:54Brendon Burchard?

  And I'm just here to tell adults, you can buy that. And it sounds terrible to say.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:58Brendon Burchard?

  It sounds really terrible because, you know, we just don't learn that. But a lot of people listening, you probably also went to college. And that social environment.

• 38:08Lewis Howes?

  Bought it.

• 38:09Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, you bought college.

• 38:11Lewis Howes?

  You bought it a lot. That isn't maybe going to give you the relationships you need later in life, too.

• 38:14Brendon Burchard?

  If you didn't get the right relationship to college, you're still paying off college.

• 38:17Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:17Brendon Burchard?

  I tell people all the time, like, if you're still making college payments, and I don't mean to be flippant. I mean, like, you didn't get taught how to do the networking there. That would have gotten you the deal flow.

• 38:28Lewis Howes?

  Man.

• 38:28Brendon Burchard?

  To handle the situation.

• 38:29Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 38:30Brendon Burchard?

  It's really hard for people.

• 38:31Lewis Howes?

  It's not about, it's not just about the right information or the right accreditation or the right degree that's going to get you the success or the financial abundance or the personal freedom you want in life.

• 38:41Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 38:42Lewis Howes?

  You need so much more than that. And for people that are looking to create the next level of financial abundance or personal abundance in their life, is it a strategy problem or an environment problem?

• 38:55Brendon Burchard?

  Hmm.

• 38:56Lewis Howes?

  What would you say?

• 38:59Brendon Burchard?

  I don't think you can separate them. I don't, I don't think, yeah, I, I, I don't, you know, only in college do you separate the hallways of psychology and sociology. In real life, you can't do that. Every person you're around is some way hitting those mirror neurons and shaping your thoughts, your energies, your belief. And everybody here knows that because everyone's probably dated a jerk or, or been in the wrong relationship or had a divorce and you're like, that person like puts you in the wrong state of mind. And what they usually did is they put you in a contemporary state of mind. Because there was drama and conflict, you were locked into a present mode with them.

• 39:43Brendon Burchard?

  Versus being around a person who is a coach or a mentor or in a mastermind where you are pushed into what we call progress mode, right? You're like pulled into progress mode, like the tide's going out to a great new location. And I think that people just, it's so hard to say this because we love the self-work and I'm the self-work guy. I've written six books in self-help. I deeply love that research. I've just found it to be limiting on its own and worse. I don't know. I don't know that anyone can have real fulfillment in life

• 40:23Brendon Burchard?

  without the right people around them. I don't know. I, I, I, last year I was-

• 40:28Lewis Howes?

  Even if you're introverted and even if you like to be alone, you still are going to interact with people and you need to be around the right people.

• 40:34Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, I work with, you know, person who's probably in the top five, six, seven, yeah, let's call it the top 10 golfers in the world. Unbelievable skill, unbelievable swing, unbelievable hunger.

• 40:50Brendon Burchard?

  Wrong caddy. Not the right situation. Has, you know, when I came in, had to replace an agent they were working with, I said, this agent is just cannot even see over a wall for you. It's like you, you need people who can see over walls for you. And if you don't have that, I'm telling you, that is the gift to buy yourself. Don't go buy the next, you know, stationary bike for your house. Like invest in being in the right rooms. And I tell people all the time because they think I'm selling here. Uh, let me just share with everybody. If you want to transform your life, I, I'll give everybody the free keys. You need to go volunteer in your local community. Because who is in the volunteer group in the local community? Leaders. Leaders. Yes.

• 41:34Brendon Burchard?

  Usually the most successful, highest earning people, sit on those nonprofit boards, run those associations, help out in the community because they often already made it or they retired or they had that servant heart. I'm like, oh, you. You want to be around givers. Yeah, because that's what I did. I moved from Montana to San Francisco to start a job, corporate job. At a company called Accenture and I was doing change management work there. I moved this big town, I mean, San Francisco is a huge town if you're from the town I was from. Yeah, yeah. Huge. And I went, I didn't know anybody. And the first thing I did is I joined the Kiwanis group. And Kiwanis, you know, meet often, you know, once or twice a month, depending on the Kiwanis group. And, you know, you have, you have your eggs, you have your conversation, people talk about volunteering and services.

• 42:18Brendon Burchard?

  But everyone there was older than me, they were like a bunch of 60 year old dudes. And they would just be like, hey kid, don't do this. Or hey kid, do that. And whatever was, you know, the, the two years of that particular group. Changed me forever because it gave me access to higher thinking. A lot of those guys were in banking. I, I knew nothing about money. I needed your book, Make Money Easy, I needed to read that like 5,000 times. I didn't, that was not even in the repertoire of my thought process yet. And so getting around that group taught me about money. So that strategy was intertwined with that socializing. I'm here to tell you, the best strategies are socialized.

• 43:03Brendon Burchard?

  You learn them by talking with other people. Like when we run Mastermind, we don't care that everybody's in the same industry at all. We just want, are you a go-getter? Do you have positive energy? And do you have high aspirations for yourself and other people? If those three conditions are totally true, it doesn't matter if you're a podcaster or a banker. Because guess what? They can both learn from each other.

• 43:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 43:23Brendon Burchard?

  You know? And so I think the diversity of your social sphere can also be very empowering.

• 43:29Lewis Howes?

  And it's, you know, I've been in the Mastermind world for, I guess, 15 years now. I guess I've like, since going to my first one, to going to many of them, to speaking at them, to hosting my own, to having one with you now. I've been in the Mastermind world for a long time. And even if it was like, I think it was like six years ago, I remember, and most of the time I'm getting invited to speak now and different things like that, just like you do. And I decided I was gonna pay for one. It was like a weekend Mastermind, it was 10 grand. And I was like, I'm just gonna go and see if I can learn something from this guy, even though I probably know a lot of what he's already teaching, even though we're in the same industry, even though I'm doing really well already. But I was like, I'm gonna pay the money. I'm gonna show up for two days for the two-day Mastermind.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  And the people I met in there was just worth the investment.

• 44:16Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 44:17Lewis Howes?

  And I'm reminded of things by the teachings as well of like, oh yeah, what I'm doing is working, I'm gonna keep doing it. And here's a couple of things new that I could try that could help accelerate my growth. That's worth it. But just like investing in yourself, when you make an investment in yourself, to be in a room, you say, I matter and I'm worthy of being around the right people. I matter and I'm worthy of learning, of developing powerful relationships with big dreamers, with big doers. And when you make that investment, whether it's time, money, or energy into a group, like the Kiwanis Group, you know, maybe it was a hundred bucks a year or something, right? Or whatever. It's not a big investment, but you invested time and energy.

• 44:58Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 44:59Lewis Howes?

  And you got a massive return. So it doesn't always have to be money to buy into a group, but that's what a lot of people do for college. You buy into a group and you pay 200 grand for a piece of paper. That doesn't guarantee you financial success. It doesn't guarantee you the right relationships 10, 20 years down the line when you really need them. Maybe you have a good time in college and I'm not saying I didn't have a good time, but it's like it guarantees you debt unless someone pays it for you. And you gotta find a way to pay that off. And a mastermind is one of the best ways to do it in my mind to get to the next level in your life. And I want to ask you, because some people might have confusion around what is a mastermind? Is it more just like networking? I think we've explained some of it.

• 45:41Lewis Howes?

  But what a real mastermind actually is doing, or I would say, what is a real mastermind doing at a psychological and identity level for people when they make the time, energy or investment to join a group of like-minded or higher achievers than themselves?

• 45:59Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, I thought a lot about this before we started Ultra together and I want to just like baseline what I'm about to say to people because it will sound offensive. But it took me a long time to figure this out. You know, I've been running masterminds since 2008. And you know, for most of these years, I've, you know, generated well over eight figures doing that, just that piece of our business. Like it's been a big part of my life. And I think I had some years where I did them great. And some years I did really bad, like because I didn't know this difference. So like there's some like real delineation here. It won't sound good, but I'll share it like the true part. I used to think when I first started my masterminds, it was like, oh, I take people places and we have a great time together. I took people, I took groups, they were paying $50,000 a year. I took them to the Caribbean.

• 46:45Brendon Burchard?

  I took them to unbelievable places in New York City and Miami. I rented out yachts, jet helicopters, boats. I mean, I made these extravagant like retreat things. I, I'm just, I thought it was that.

• 46:58Lewis Howes?

  The adventure mastermind.

• 46:59Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, I was like, and I did training. But I really thought that, you know, make sure that that environment thing is super locked in. I think that's a component. It can be a new experience for people, especially in AI world. I think that's going to matter.

• 47:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:13Brendon Burchard?

  But I, I made a mistake. That was too big. I made that such the big part about it. And, you know, I just watched how many people stay over how many years. And then I thought, oh, you know, it really needs, the critical thing here is training. If we can train somebody's mind for a step change in thinking.

• 47:35Brendon Burchard?

  That's the investment. And you think about if you did go to college, there was, you know, especially if you took like philosophy, right, or political science, or you took a major liberal art that really expanded your brain, you're like, oh, wow. Right, or you went into advanced mathematics. It's like, those moments where we're step changes and big thinking, that was life. That was the aspirational unlock. And so I learned that. And now to the offensive part. And this applies to mastermind, but everybody listening, whether they're a mastermind or not. Most people show up each day as their minimal self. So this is an identity conversation, and this is where I'm saying, this might sound offensive, and I don't want people to discount me because

• 48:19Brendon Burchard?

  I'm using this phrase, but I hope you'll stick with me. People show up as their minimal self. They show up and they kind of go through the motions of the day. They're in stimulus and response. What shows up? How do I respond to it? Even if they try to show up and respond to it really well, they're kind of locked into that position of today, the contemporaneous, how do I handle this? Even if I'm trying to be peaceful, how do I handle this? But most people throughout their day, because there's this human thing called homeostasis, we kind of fall back to the level of just like average. We fall back to level of what if we had the power in the guts to say, kind of mediocre. It just means in that moment, we weren't being intentional, beyond stimulus and response.

• 49:03Brendon Burchard?

  We weren't being aspirational. In other words, we didn't turn ourself on. We didn't summon the best of who we are intentionally. And so even if what we did was good, it wasn't, we weren't in the right headspace to be aspirational. There's a minimal self, show up, do the bare minimum, even if you're good. But then there's the aspirational self. Like, asking, what would the aspirational self do? And I'll give it like real world example outside of masterminds.

• 49:33Brendon Burchard?

  But a mastermind has to achieve this with a person.

• 49:36Brendon Burchard?

  A mastermind has to achieve a percentage change of how people show up from a minimal self to an aspirational self. We know about strategies, business, money, all that, all day long, but if we don't achieve that, that's the unlock of a mastermind. I, I used to spend this percentage of a time in going through the motions guy, in dealing with life as it came guy, and I went way, a step change in intention and aspirational living. And it can be as simple as this. You have date night with Marta. After a day of all this, running an empire, it'd be easy to show up in the being state of the person who ran an empire that day. Maybe you were energized and stressed that day, or maybe you were just like wiped the F out.

• 50:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:21Brendon Burchard?

  But most people, they show up to handle things. So I, or you, show up at date night to handle, okay, we're, date night. When you become extraordinary, when you reach greatness in your life, you take, there's a beat where you take a step back and you are not in stimulus and response at all. You're in high intention aspiration, you're like, what would make tonight? An aspirational date night?

• 50:44Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Not just going through the motions.

• 50:47Brendon Burchard?

  Restaurants already chosen, but you see it all the time in movies, right? There's the couple in the movie, sitting at dinner, there's other people sitting around them, but at some point, one of them gets up and now they're dancing around their table and everyone else is looking, oh my God, that's so beautiful, we used to dance. There's, there's a magic element that you chose consciously to make that an aspirational date, not a normal date, not, not even just a good, like something happened. So if you shift a person into that, in their personal life and their business life, take them from a minimal self, and I want to say that, a minimal self does not mean there's something missing, and minimal self does not mean there's something bad with you. It's literally a homeostatic state.

• 51:31Brendon Burchard?

  Human beings experience it, it's not bad.

• 51:33Lewis Howes?

  The least resistance, the most comfortable.

• 51:35Brendon Burchard?

  We're built that way in some ways to have a comfortable flow. But, and I don't want you to lose comfort. I just want you to be more percentage of time in an aspirational state. And I've learned this from you, big time. I just want to give a shout out like. I, last time Louis and I were hanging out, guys. I had just done this big, major media thing. And I super bombed. Like, I was bad. I was bad. And I, I, I left that situation. And I came and I sat with Louis and Matt. And I told him, I bombed. I was like so bad at this interview. It was bad. And, and, and Louis was like laughing and jovial with me. Um, but the first thing that went to my mind was remembering us on stage. And seeing how you.

• 52:19Brendon Burchard?

  You're always Lewis Howes, but there's a magic you're able to do here. That has opened me several times in our conversations. Like, I don't do, people can go watch on there. I don't do interviews very good. It's like, I'm a, I'm a teacher. I'm not used to being, I'm a very poor subject. And, and, but you unlock me because you, you quote unquote, turn on. Yes. And when you. It's intentional, too. You intentionally turn on. It's intentional. Yeah, you intentionally show up for those babies. Yes. You intentionally show up for Marta. Yes. Because you have an aspirational self that says, you know, I'm not just gonna go with my state of being right now. I have a view of a great man. I want to be a great man. So let me behave from that.

• 53:04Brendon Burchard?

  Yes. Getting around the right people who have aspirational self. Uh, as a core philosophy, what I call a dominant psychological frame. When, when you're around someone who has a dominant psychological frame that they want to live into their highest and best aspirational self. That's rare. Get around those people. Yes. Get in rooms with those people. I don't care if it's volunteering or paying Mastermind or going to a conference. Get around those people, because it will like, open you to a future. Dude, it's life. It is. That's life.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  Proximity is power and who you spend time with in your intimate relationship, your friends and your family, how much you spend time with them, whether they bring you life or they suck the life out of you. It's powerful or it can be disempowering as well of who you're in proximity with. And I'd love for us to do a proximity audit activity together.

• 53:59Brendon Burchard?

  Cool.

• 53:59Lewis Howes?

  Real quick. And this would be a real life, real time proximity audit of our lives. We'll do it quick. It doesn't have to be so deep or anything, but I would like to give people watching or listening this kind of three prompt exercise to do at home as well as a takeaway for this, to get them thinking about the powerful relationships or the disempowering ones in their life currently to see what's holding them back and what they need to invest into to launch them forward as well. So I'll have us each do this. There's three quick prompts and the first one is, it can't be each other.

• 54:34Brendon Burchard?

  Okay.

• 54:36Lewis Howes?

  Who is one person who is, who expanded your thinking in this last year? One person, maybe it's someone known, someone not known, but first person that comes to mind, who is one person that expanded your thinking this year? Not me.

• 54:53Brendon Burchard?

  Uh, my wife Denise.

• 54:55Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 54:55Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, and she's been that steady expansive force in my life.

• 54:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:00Brendon Burchard?

  For so long. She expands my thinking because she wants so much for me. Which is what a gift for you and I both have wives like that. They want so much for us. And sometimes I'll be like, oh, I'm going to do this deal. She's like, you're worth more than that.

• 55:21Brendon Burchard?

  Uh, she's expanded my thinking so much in health to, to, to, to stay healthy. She expanded my thinking in, you know, I have, we have all certain, we have timelines. You know, you and I building empires, we have like a timeline when something might happen. She's like, why can't that happen sooner? You know, why, why, why does that idea take five years? And it's, there's not, there's no pressure to it. It's just expensive, like, wow, you know, it's Elon Musk's famous thing. It's like, well, if you think it takes six years, why can't it be done in six months?

• 55:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:51Brendon Burchard?

  When someone does that to you and it, time becomes a forcing mechanism.

• 55:55Lewis Howes?

  It's why can't it be done and what would need to happen?

• 55:58Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 55:58Lewis Howes?

  To be done in half the time than what you originally thought.

• 56:02Brendon Burchard?

  That's right.

• 56:03Lewis Howes?

  You need to be around more people like that.

• 56:04Brendon Burchard?

  That's right.

• 56:04Lewis Howes?

  Who tell you those questions, who push you and say, sure, if it takes six years, fine. But if you had to do it in six months, what would need to happen?

• 56:12Brendon Burchard?

  Mm hmm.

• 56:13Lewis Howes?

  And maybe you don't want to do what needs to happen in six months. Maybe it's requires too much time or energy, or it's, you gotta get an investor, whatever it is. And you're like, nah, I'd rather not do it that fast.

• 56:23Brendon Burchard?

  Mm hmm.

• 56:23Lewis Howes?

  If it, if it means doing this.

• 56:25Brendon Burchard?

  Yes.

• 56:25Lewis Howes?

  But what if it was easier? What was faster? What if it came quicker and you don't have to work as hard?

• 56:31Brendon Burchard?

  Yes.

• 56:31Lewis Howes?

  What would need to happen?

• 56:32Brendon Burchard?

  Yes.

• 56:33Lewis Howes?

  Those types of questions are what someone that you're in right proximity with, you want to be around them more.

• 56:38Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 56:38Lewis Howes?

  So your wife Denise is the one person who expanded your thinking this year.

• 56:42Brendon Burchard?

  Can I jump on that one?

• 56:43Lewis Howes?

  Go ahead.

• 56:44Brendon Burchard?

  Because I love what you said. I actually want to watch that clip like 10 times where you just said. Cause there's so many definitions in it are vital. I, I hope someone will rewind what Lewis just did there. That was great. Uh, I want to jump on it because I just want to tell people, if you've had the right business coach, if you're an entrepreneur, uh, or you've been in the right rooms, you can recall a time

• 57:08Brendon Burchard?

  when somebody gave a strategy or an idea that doubled your business.

• 57:14Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 57:16Brendon Burchard?

  And made it more elegant.

• 57:17Lewis Howes?

  Yes, easier, effortless.

• 57:20Brendon Burchard?

  If you've never doubled your business or became more elegant because somebody told you that strategy, it means you've never had the right coach, never had the right strategy, or never been in the right room. You might be super smart, but if no one's ever like handed that to you, wrong rooms most of your life. Like doubling your business was like an awful slog or a genius luck moment.

• 57:39Lewis Howes?

  And, and here's the thing, it's like the power of mastermind, the person that you're choosing to be in mastermind with, whether it's a, the person you're investing in or the group of people. They don't have to have all the answers for you also. They don't have to be the one that's like, they've already done everything you want to do and they have to have all the answers. I'm not gonna say the person's name, but there's a guest I've had on a few times who's a billionaire. And when he was around, I don't know, half a billion dollars in his business. I was like, I've never been a billionaire. I don't know what that feels like, but I just said, what would it take for you to get to a billion, from a half a billion to a billion? Cause he had a plan for like a few years out. I go, what would it take for you to do in the next six months? I literally said this question.

• 58:24Lewis Howes?

  And he got really frustrated with me. Ah, it's just, yeah, it's just not possible right now. He just kinda gets squirmy and frustrated like, well, I know, he couldn't think about how to make it possible. And I was just like, if you had to make it possible, what would need to happen? Just brainstorm with me. This is almost a billionaire and I'm, you know, I'm not at that level. And he goes, wow, you just can't. And I go, come on. Really? You can't? You've already gone to a half a billion. You can't do this? Like, what if you had to? What would need to happen? And just that question got him thinking, well, well, I'd have to make a call to this person. I'd have to get more courageous with this person and ask them for this. I'd have to go do these many more deals and I have to unlock this thing. And I go, okay, well, could you do that in six months? He's like,

• 59:06Lewis Howes?

  yeah, I could. Literally, I think it was maybe eight or nine months later, he had a billion dollars in his business. Wow. From taking these actions. And again, I didn't know how to do the strategy. Right. I didn't know how to execute what he was doing, but I just asked the right question. For him to see a bigger, more powerful, possible future that he hadn't yet seen in that timeline. And I think that is the key that you just said is being around people that are willing to ask you those questions. For you to kinda tap into life's golden ticket of tapping into your own inner wisdom. It's like, yes, you need a coach or the mentor, the mastermind to unlock it, but then it's you seeing, what is that possibility? Yes. What do I need to become in order to create this faster or do it more elegantly?

• 59:51Lewis Howes?

  Or to unlock something in a more effortless manner? Right. It allows synchronicities to flow effortlessly as opposed to forcing it so much. Being burnt out, grinding. It's like, It's finding the people that can unlock that in you, but then you tapping into the inner wisdom as well. And acting courageously and boldly like you talk about in all of your work.

• 1:00:11Brendon Burchard?

  An insight instigator.

• 1:00:14Lewis Howes?

  Yes, that's it.

• 1:00:15Brendon Burchard?

  You instigated insight for him.

• 1:00:17Lewis Howes?

  It's it.

• 1:00:18Brendon Burchard?

  That's why you gotta be around problem solvers.

• 1:00:20Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:00:20Brendon Burchard?

  Catalytic thinkers.

• 1:00:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:00:22Brendon Burchard?

  People who like, like, they don't have to have the answer. But their belief in you.

• 1:00:27Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:00:28Brendon Burchard?

  And the ability to Socratically ask the right questions that instigate. And you're like, oh.

• 1:00:34Lewis Howes?

  Belief is so key. I mean, it's like believing in a possible future identity for someone is such a powerful mentor that you can have. Not someone that's pushing you down or saying, yeah, slow down a little bit, but someone who's like, hey, if that's what you want, I see that in you. You had this with your teacher when you were 16. I've had that with coaches and mentors. And it's just having someone put more belief into you. So that you can believe it's possible as well, because if you don't believe it's possible, it's probably not going to happen.

• 1:01:04Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 1:01:04Lewis Howes?

  Or maybe it happens longer, or it's like you're grinding to get there. But if you believe in someone who puts belief into you, it just unlocks more. So the first, this is the first prompt is one person expanded my thinking this year for you. It's Denise. For me, it's Martha. We got married. We had twins. It's like, you know, that whole year, it's been a big year. She's expanded my.

• 1:01:27Brendon Burchard?

  Twins is.

• 1:01:29Lewis Howes?

  But she, I mean, and I'm not copying because you said your wife and I'm saying my wife, but it's like, that was a big year. It's like being married at this stage, having children and going through everything we went through has been a powerful thing. And so I want everyone to think about the one person who's expanded their thinking this year. And then I want you to text the person an appreciation note.

• 1:01:49Brendon Burchard?

  Oh, I love that.

• 1:01:50Lewis Howes?

  Of how you've expanded my thinking this year. And so, so you can just say, hey, I just did an exercise and you were the first person that came to mind. I wanted to tell you how you expanded my thinking this year and why I appreciate you.

• 1:02:06Brendon Burchard?

  I love that.

• 1:02:06Lewis Howes?

  So I want everyone to do that for step one. This is the proximity audit activity that Brendan and I are going through. The second prompt is, what is one environment that sharpened you in this last year? One environment, whether it was a group, whether it was an event, whether it was, I don't know, the gym you built or whatever it is, like an environment that sharpened you this year.

• 1:02:29Brendon Burchard?

  Uh, definitely when you did Ultra in Scottsdale.

• 1:02:33Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:02:35Brendon Burchard?

  Ultra's our mastermind, uh, everybody is called Ultra. And Louis had to fly in. Uh, and I mean, when I say had to fly in, he had to fly in like, Marta might be due with twins at like any minute.

• 1:02:50Lewis Howes?

  Later. It was like crazy.

• 1:02:52Brendon Burchard?

  And how many days later? It was fast.

• 1:02:54Lewis Howes?

  What was the day that we?

• 1:02:55Brendon Burchard?

  It was a week later or something.

• 1:02:56Lewis Howes?

  Something like that. When was the, I can't remember the exact date we did Ultra, but it was within a week.

• 1:03:00Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Lewis Howes?

  But it was like, the babies could come any moment. So I was like, can I make it? Can I not make it? I fly in like right before, I leave right after. And it was like, I need the plane ready to get back in case something happens.

• 1:03:12Brendon Burchard?

  It was amazing. So, so this environment, August, Aaron, um, most maybe for those who know my brand, uh, I've been doing three and four day seminars.

• 1:03:23Brendon Burchard?

  For, you know, coming about 20 years. You know, for those counting, I've done 133 or four day seminars where I was primarily the teacher. Like almost just me. Uh, you know, usually doing 40 to 50 hours over a weekend, just me on stage, teaching my curriculum on high performance or leadership of business. So it was kind of a solo act for a really long time. Even though I have a lot of our friends come in and they might speak a little bit, but I never got to do it with, you know, a partner or people.

• 1:03:54Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:03:55Brendon Burchard?

  And at that event, two things happened. One, I co-hosted an event with Place, which is a billion dollar real estate company. Before you and I did Ultra. So I got to see them, you know, they're on a path, you know, gonna be a multi-billion dollar business. They're already valued at a billion dollars and, you know, just world class. And I've become friends with the founders and, and, you know, I'm their chief growth advisor. So I get to see them with their people and talking about the future. And, you know, when you see billionaires talking about the future, it's just different. So I was watching, I was like, whoa, there's this game in this room right now. It was spectacular. Then meeting all the best agents in the country

• 1:04:40Brendon Burchard?

  and seeing how they thought about the real estate market and thought about deal flow. And it was like, whoa, okay. This is like, I was inspired by like that because it's a different industry than me, right? It's just, just seeing that. I was like, whoa. Then bam, we flipped the conference to Ultra Mastermind.

• 1:04:58Lewis Howes?

  The next day.

• 1:04:59Brendon Burchard?

  Everybody shows up the next day. They're just so energized because it's the first time you're coming, you know, to do the stage the way you did. And honestly, it was like, I don't know, for me and the team, we were on like day three or four.

• 1:05:13Lewis Howes?

  And you were tired.

• 1:05:13Brendon Burchard?

  I was tired. I was feeling it because it was so much running around in a different way than me just being on stage. And you came in and I just saw your energy. And when you went up on stage, two things happened. One, seeing what you were teaching at the level that you were teaching. I hadn't gotten to see you do that for a long time.

• 1:05:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:33Brendon Burchard?

  And so you hadn't run a mastermind forever.

• 1:05:35Lewis Howes?

  I hadn't done it in four or five years.

• 1:05:37Brendon Burchard?

  It was unbelievable. I think everyone was like in shock and awe of what you did. It was like, whoa. And then also I got to talk with Matt backstage a little about what you guys have been building, just learning about all that. It was just, it was a moment of three or four days where I was in an aspirational setting.

• 1:05:53Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:05:53Brendon Burchard?

  Of people doing things that are very different than me, but they all were on.

• 1:05:58Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Giving their best.

• 1:05:59Brendon Burchard?

  Giving their best, wanting to be of service, caring about excellence. And one of the things I always say as a high performance coach is like, as high performance coaches, we're paid to push. And seeing you push the audience, but you did, I remember two of them, you might've done more.

• 1:06:18Lewis Howes?

  Breakout.

• 1:06:18Brendon Burchard?

  You did two coaching with entrepreneurs. And the way that you honored them with them.

• 1:06:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Brendon Burchard?

  Like, it was like, okay, getting to witness mastery in your life, that was it for me. What was yours? I'm curious.

• 1:06:32Lewis Howes?

  First thing that came to mind was Summit of Greatness that we did.

• 1:06:34Brendon Burchard?

  So amazing.

• 1:06:35Lewis Howes?

  Where we announced Ultra. And for those that are interested, you know, Brendan and I just launched this mastermind called Ultra. And you can go to lewishouse.com/ultra to learn more about it. If you're interested in diving into coaching, mentorship and a powerful entrepreneurial community with us, go to lewishouse.com/ultra. But for me, the Summit of Greatness at the Dolby Theater was powerful because it's, you know, 10 years in. And I'm always creating something new. So it challenges me to step up and be my best. That was one. The second thing that came to mind is a month ago, I took over the Los Angeles Handball Club.

• 1:07:12Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, I thought you might say that. Yep.

• 1:07:14Lewis Howes?

  And taking on a new challenge where there's no money. I'm spending money, but there's no money coming in. I'm not earning something from this. But I had six Olympians on our team that we brought in from Europe. Six guys who've been in the Olympics, five who have medals at the Olympics to play on my team. Wow. And to invest in the recruitment and development of taking over a team, recruiting, I have a manager whose name is Jan, who did all the recruiting of these guys. But I said, we need the best in the world. If we want to be the best or be the best we can be, we need to bring in the smartest, the most talented.

• 1:07:57Lewis Howes?

  And we need to do it with certain structure where it's not just spending all this money. Like, how can we do it where people are bought in, but they don't want to get paid? They want the experience. They want the dream. They want to come be and play in America for a weekend. Uh, and they want to play handball in USA when they've never played. They've only played in Europe. So we need the right mindset, the right attitude, not people that are like, you gotta pay me to come here. No one got paid. Wow. But they got an opportunity to experience something and they're going to do it again here in the next couple of months with the final tournament we have. But being the president of the team, you know, the, I guess, the, the leader of the team in certain ways, and a player on the team.

• 1:08:41Lewis Howes?

  And also having humility enough to say, I'm not the best one here by any means, and I'm okay. I want that. So as the owner and president, I have humility to also say, coach, your job, whatever you want us to do, I trust you. All the other players who have been in the Olympics, you know way more than me. I haven't done that. I trust you. What are we doing? And having the humility to say, hey, you lead. Sure, I'm the owner and president and I'm organizing with other people, but I sit the bench. Yeah. In the first half, you know, it's like, I don't need to start. I don't need to be the all-star on my own team. If that's the case, I'm doing things wrong. So I have the humility to say, I can sit the bench

• 1:09:24Lewis Howes?

  and come in when I'm needed, but I don't need to be the starter or the guy getting the ball all the time. I'm okay with that. I want to achieve my goal of and dream of being an Olympian. And if that means being around the best and then rising to their level eventually. Cool, I'll play five minutes a game. I don't care. If I'm getting better and I'm getting to my goal, then I'll do whatever it takes. So for me, sharpening my skills, that environment has sharpened me more than anything this year because it takes courage, it takes recruitment, it takes humility. Again, this is an amateur sport. There's no money in this in America. So it's like investing time and energy in something that

• 1:10:05Lewis Howes?

  has no guarantees of the dream coming true. And being okay with that. And so for me, that experience has been amazing.

• 1:10:15Brendon Burchard?

  I loved it when you were talking about it because it's manifesting a passion.

• 1:10:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:10:22Brendon Burchard?

  But you you thought at like the club level.

• 1:10:25Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:10:26Brendon Burchard?

  I think a lot of people don't kind of connect with what we're sharing there. It's like, you have things you love to do. Watch the magic that happens in life. When it's an equally passionate, geeky, loving people around it. Like I always say, like get around obsessed people.

• 1:10:44Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:10:45Brendon Burchard?

  Because it's so exciting because they're they're not doing it for money.

• 1:10:49Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 1:10:49Brendon Burchard?

  Like you and I aren't even in this room for money. We're good when the money is like, we love talking. We love teaching. We love sharing. We love inspiring. We love empowering. And when you're around that in in sports or in business or in your media world, it's like, it's just a different level.

• 1:11:06Lewis Howes?

  Relationship. Yeah. And so it's like I've invested in my own mastermind with handball.

• 1:11:10Brendon Burchard?

  Love that.

• 1:11:10Lewis Howes?

  And I'm getting around the right players, the right coaches, the right people in the handball world to build those relationships. And I've been doing that for the last, you know, fifteen years for a dream that's a few years away. And I'm doing it now for the future self. So I'm doing that in that passion as well. So that would be the environment that sharpened me. So again, write down the environment that sharpened you. And then we don't have to say the name. But one relationship or input that you had to limit or cut this last year. So it doesn't, you don't have to say like the person's name, or we'll bleep it if you say it, but.

• 1:11:46Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, just, just.

• 1:11:51Lewis Howes?

  Is there a person?

• 1:11:52Brendon Burchard?

  I would say it's not just a person, it's almost like an avatar of people that I would say, you know, my wife has been good at coaching me on is like, I, I love people.

• 1:12:03Lewis Howes?

  Yes, me too.

• 1:12:03Brendon Burchard?

  I mean, I just, and you know, that's the way I run our groups and I run, I love people. And I have to be very conscious and diligent and apologetic about boundaries.

• 1:12:18Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:12:19Brendon Burchard?

  And a lot of people in our industry, especially they come in and, and it's just like, you know, the number of favors requests that come.

• 1:12:27Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:12:27Brendon Burchard?

  And I don't like, I'll do a favor, but I'll do 50 favor. I don't have the intelligence.

• 1:12:33Lewis Howes?

  You and you're gonna be, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:34Brendon Burchard?

  I'm just not very good.

• 1:12:35Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 1:12:35Brendon Burchard?

  There's, there's a line.

• 1:12:36Lewis Howes?

  There needs to be.

• 1:12:37Brendon Burchard?

  And, you know, I need to make that line.

• 1:12:40Lewis Howes?

  Clear.

• 1:12:41Brendon Burchard?

  Clear. And I also need to make sure that there's give and take.

• 1:12:43Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 1:12:44Brendon Burchard?

  And, cause I don't care about the take piece. I often also don't get value back.

• 1:12:51Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:12:51Brendon Burchard?

  And later on.

• 1:12:54Lewis Howes?

  It feels draining and exhausting after a while. Yeah.

• 1:12:56Brendon Burchard?

  It can, um, but really, I don't know that I sense the draining. It's interesting.

• 1:13:02Lewis Howes?

  That's just me.

• 1:13:03Brendon Burchard?

  I wish I did.

• 1:13:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:05Brendon Burchard?

  But the reality.

• 1:13:06Lewis Howes?

  What do you feel resentment or just time commitment or?

• 1:13:08Brendon Burchard?

  No, this, this took me a long time to figure out because I don't, my problem is I don't get frustrated in that situation. My problem is I will keep breaking the boundary, even though I know there's nothing coming back. My, I don't, I wish I got the bitterness or that edge. It goes F these people. Instead, what ends up happening is it becomes a clear, rational, intellectual boot to the brain of opportunity cost.

• 1:13:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. The time away from your main thing to helping all these other people. Yeah.

• 1:13:42Brendon Burchard?

  And there's no bitterness. I just, it will, it'll be a flash of insight like, oh my gosh, I just brought up this person and look at, they're doing these amazing things and they haven't done anything back, which is fine. But here's this other person who was struggling. Who didn't get that attention?

• 1:13:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:58Brendon Burchard?

  And so, or, or, or, there's a part of my business that, you know, plateaued because I spent over here. And I don't, I could reuse your coaching on that. I don't know why. I, I wish that I had that like, I don't have the F, you know, mentality. Uh, I just never have.

• 1:14:17Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 1:14:18Brendon Burchard?

  Cause for me, that sent, I think I, you know, I learned from the, you know, Earl Nightingales and the Dale Carnegie's and the Zig Ziglars and, and they all warned against bitterness.

• 1:14:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Brendon Burchard?

  Bitterness is corrosive.

• 1:14:31Lewis Howes?

  It's not good.

• 1:14:31Brendon Burchard?

  And so I kind of decided in my early twenties, I don't want that in my life. However, I do need more edge to recognize that earlier in the relationship. Not because they're bad, but because I have responsibilities over here.

• 1:14:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:47Brendon Burchard?

  And my time to give to these responsibilities is more responsible over here. And that's been, so it's a time management thing that I had to own.

• 1:14:59Lewis Howes?

  And I, and I think what's opening for me that you just triggered in me is like, if you're experiencing bitterness, it means you don't have a boundary. You, you don't have a clear, but you're like feeling resentment or, I would speak for myself. And I'd feel like resentful or frustrated or bitter by feeling like, oh, I'm just giving to this person for years. And then if I ask one little request, it's a no. And like, huh, okay. What do, where's their, it doesn't mean they have to give something in return, but they're only reaching out to me to ask for something.

• 1:15:28Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 1:15:28Lewis Howes?

  There's not a deeper relationship, then what are we doing?

• 1:15:31Brendon Burchard?

  And I know you get a lot of that. So that's hard.

• 1:15:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Yeah. And so for years I had to learn how to be like, I was just bitter with people, but I want to speak up. Cause I was afraid or I didn't want them to think I was like, whatever. And so I, it's learning, I've learned how to really make my circle tight. And I think when I started, you know, 18 years ago, I needed to expand my circle. You need to create opportunities. You need to meet everyone. You need to, hey, let's work together. Let's help you. I mean, bop, bop, you know, and then you're just spreading everywhere and it gets to a certain level. But then I had to learn to be like, okay, now I have no time for anything to do my own thing where it needs the most time and attention. Cause I'm just helping everyone else and I like that state. I like helping everyone as much as I can. It's a fun thing to do.

• 1:16:13Brendon Burchard?

  Yes.

• 1:16:13Lewis Howes?

  To see people succeed. It's enjoyable. But if it's at the cost of you not being able to reach your goal or or or build the thing you're trying to build, or there's a financial burden or whatever it might be, you've got to put your attention and focus back to the thing that pays your bills.

• 1:16:29Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:29Lewis Howes?

  And it brings you joy and fulfillment as well, so.

• 1:16:32Brendon Burchard?

  I learned this phrase you might like, um, because someone was coaching me on this and they said, Brendan, you have to learn to differentiate between a naive receiver.

• 1:16:40Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:16:41Brendon Burchard?

  And a taker.

• 1:16:42Lewis Howes?

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:16:43Brendon Burchard?

  And he was like, you don't know the difference. I was like, I don't think I'm doing.

• 1:16:46Lewis Howes?

  I don't think I probably did either.

• 1:16:47Brendon Burchard?

  You know, intellectually, I could say I do, but behavior is what matters.

• 1:16:50Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:16:51Brendon Burchard?

  And if you're ever in that place where you end up wanting or needing something and you share a goal and the people who you've helped, when you share a goal, don't immediately go like, hey, I don't know, can I help?

• 1:17:05Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:17:06Brendon Burchard?

  They don't have to help or know how to, but if they don't ask the question, it means that you were probably in a relationship there where there was some taking going on. It's not that they have to solve or even give, it's that, do they even ask?

• 1:17:19Lewis Howes?

  Yes, that's it.

• 1:17:20Brendon Burchard?

  And that's what I was like, oh yeah, that's because that's behavior. You can measure that. Do they ask or not?

• 1:17:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. And one of the greatest gifts that I've received was learning how to create boundaries in my life, probably more in like emotional intimate relationships. Learning how to create boundaries and find, you know, developing a relationship with Martha, who is, I would say, an equal or greater giver than me, which I don't know if that's possible because I feel like I'm giving all the time, but she's such a mash of energy around giving.

• 1:17:52Brendon Burchard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:17:53Lewis Howes?

  That it's just a joy every day because we can both give to each other. But I think if you've grown up with wounds that you haven't healed and you've been traumatized and you're a giver to please others, you tend to attract takers, you know? If you don't have to create boundaries, right? And if you're like anxious and all the things that I was.

• 1:18:12Brendon Burchard?

  True.

• 1:18:13Lewis Howes?

  And so I would just attract takers and I was just a good giver. And then after a couple of years, you're like, I'm exhausted. It's like, well, you know.

• 1:18:19Brendon Burchard?

  Right.

• 1:18:20Lewis Howes?

  But uh, so it's learning how to create healthy boundaries with yourself and others in settings where you feel like there's a good give and take. And I think if you're only giving and you're not around a conscious receiver who also just wants to appreciate, at least appreciate the giving and say, hey, thank you so much for helping me develop. You don't have to give equal back, but there has to be a conscious receipt.

• 1:18:44Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:45Lewis Howes?

  That needs to be, you know, a good energy exchange, I think. So anyways.

• 1:18:49Brendon Burchard?

  I just want, I want to share this because I know a lot of entrepreneurs are listening and they join our masterminds and everything too. That whole metaphor we just shared, and I'm gonna do this for myself too, as part of the homework. I'm gonna flip the metaphor that we just shared about giving into relationships and give and take and flip it to opportunities too.

• 1:19:07Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:19:08Brendon Burchard?

  Because I think that a lot of us give our heart and our spirit and our soul sometimes into opportunities. And that opportunity doesn't give anything back.

• 1:19:17Lewis Howes?

  No, it doesn't.

• 1:19:18Brendon Burchard?

  And you end up, I think a lot of entrepreneurs end up in that pit. Where it is just endless, you know, gambler's dilemma. I put so much money, I put so much time, I better keep filling the pit and

• 1:19:32Lewis Howes?

  No return.

• 1:19:33Brendon Burchard?

  There was never any give and take there. There was never any boundary there. It ate up all of your life, all of your finances. Or, or even if it's good, now it's corrosive for you because maybe it's not in the spirit in which you developed. You got more conscious or you moved out of that wanting that particular business. And I think it'd be cool to go, okay, because there's opportunity cost there too. The opportunity cost of pouring yourself into the wrong opportunity that doesn't give you back. We should be in opportunities that fill us.

• 1:20:04Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:20:04Brendon Burchard?

  And I see how, I watched so many of your episodes, it's like, you're, I can tell you're filled from the conversation.

• 1:20:11Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:20:12Brendon Burchard?

  That's cool.

• 1:20:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:13Brendon Burchard?

  And I, like, people would see when I teach, you know, because usually I'm just directly with the camera, talking to people, teaching. And I only do curriculum-based, like, framework teaching. And so I finished my framework, I'm, I'm, I'm full. I feel good, you know, versus there's been other business opportunities that were very lucrative in my life. I just never felt that give, the opportunity should give back to you too.

• 1:20:36Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, always giving fulfillment, joy.

• 1:20:40Brendon Burchard?

  That's cool.

• 1:20:41Lewis Howes?

  So I want everyone to do this, it's called the proximity audit. And again, answer three quick prompts.

• 1:20:49Lewis Howes?

  Write down or say out loud, one person who's expanded your thinking this year, one environment that sharpened you, and one relationship or input that you had to limit or create a boundary with. Just for you to reflect on this to see, okay, how could I be be, how could I set my life up moving forward, 2026 and beyond, with the right people, the right environments, the right situations, that expand my possibilities, that expand my thinking, and I'm around people that want to see me accomplish my goals bigger, faster, and better than even I do.

• 1:21:18Brendon Burchard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:21:18Lewis Howes?

  Be in rooms like that with those people. Brendan, any final thoughts we should leave with people on the power of Mastermind before we wrap things up in this conversation? Again, lewishouse.com/ultra, go there, do the the audit that we just talked about, the proximity audit, and that will give you a reflection of your life right now to hopefully help you make, start making some different choices in your life. Any final thing around Mastermind's proximity for people to take away with?

• 1:21:47Brendon Burchard?

  Yeah, I think this time of year, just realizing your breakthroughs will be social.

• 1:21:52Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:21:52Brendon Burchard?

  We need to get back in that understanding of human awesomeness together.

• 1:21:57Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:21:57Brendon Burchard?

  And when you're in the right room, you will know you're in the right room because there's aspiration beyond how you normally show up. The minimal self or the aspirational self. Your job one in life is to summon the best of who you are to advance towards who you know you could be.

• 1:22:13Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:22:13Brendon Burchard?

  But sometimes, who you know you can be is limited by like fears and old worries and your obligations and the kids or the spouse or the other things. You have to be in groups or around people, whether it's best friend, a trainer or coach, I don't care who it is, somebody on your team, somebody who aspirationally leads you, who is that insight like like instigator, someone who gets you thinking and thinking about your future. In a way that is maybe even beyond you thought about. Yes. I really get tired of this idea that, oh, we're just supposed to know our future. And I go, most people are moving towards a fixed future. That that that future is not what we call a growth oriented future. It's certainly not a step change.

• 1:22:56Brendon Burchard?

  They're looking at the incremental path and the incremental path has its places. We want compound habits, of course, we want compound affirmations. We want a good mindset and habits. But at some point as an adult, you go, I don't want just incrementalism for the next five decades of my life. Not that it's not bad, but if you look at people who made real wealth, or look at people who had like adventurous, incredible, fulfilling, vibrant lives, they they did have some of those peaks and valleys. They allowed it to peak once in a while. And that came from this idea of going, there there's got to be a step change sometimes. In Jeff Bezos's last letter as CEO, he talked about the the challenge that everybody will want you to fall into a normalcy. That's to me what the minimal self is.

• 1:23:41Brendon Burchard?

  It's like they'll chip away at your specialness. They'll chip away at your uniqueness. You'll be around people in your life who will chip away with all their doubts and their concerns at the magic of who you could be, not just who you are, of who you could be. They're chipping away and you don't even know they're chipping away at it. And and his whole idea was like your specialness, your distinctiveness. We have to make sure every day is a day one. We don't need to get complacent. We need those big bets. He would talk about, you know, part of being an investor in Amazon as an example is that we're going to make billion dollar bets that fail. But we need to have the right to do that because some of those, they're going to be the home run. Yes. And a lot of people haven't made any bets on themselves in a long time because they've been stuck in incremental land.

• 1:24:25Brendon Burchard?

  And I'm here to say, sometimes you gotta make a bet on yourself. That's getting in the right group, that's making the right phone call, that's, you know, be in the right room. It's like looking for a step change. The reason people have midlife crises is almost never because of they didn't do the right incremental things. It's that they actually do need a step change in earning. They do need a step change in freedom. They do need a step change in fulfillment. And so be around a group of people who are willing to do that responsibly, who know the right strategies to make the right impact, the right fulfillment, the right growth. But I'm like, this might be the time a lot of people are listening, I need a step change. So I do that. Hope they get an ultra because it's about going the ultra mile, the extra mile. You have a marathon, but they have an ultra run. Like we, you and I want to be

• 1:25:08Brendon Burchard?

  on that ultra run ideology of life. And I want other people to hear that. There's a step change waiting for you and the breakthrough will be social. So get in the room.

• 1:25:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and it's about being on the right teams, having the right coaches and being on the right teams. And we hope you guys, if this feels like it's calling for you, we hope you join our team in ultra lewis house.com slash ultra and you start seeing those exponential changes very quickly. Brennan, love you, man. Appreciate you.

• 1:25:35Brendon Burchard?

  So good.

• 1:25:36Lewis Howes?

  Do it, brother.

• 1:25:36Brendon Burchard?

  Appreciate it. Love you, brother. Thank you.

• 1:25:37Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 1:25:40Lewis Howes?

  I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyleasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment, moving forward. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes

• 1:26:24Lewis Howes?

  with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how. how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.