Rudy Is Single

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 0:30Andrew Santino?

  This podcast is powered by Huel.

• 0:32Bobby Lee?

  H U E L. New customers can use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off plus a free gift.

• 0:38Andrew Santino?

  Yay. Ciao. I'm in Italy, but this week I will be in Edmonton and Winnipeg, Canada. Come see me Edmonton and Winnipeg. Go to andrewsantino.com. Mutobano. Hello.

• 0:51Speaker 03

  Hello, hello.

• 0:52Andrew Santino?

  Hello, mate. You all right, mate?

• 0:53Speaker 03

  I'm all right, mate.

• 0:54Andrew Santino?

  We're gonna be coming to London and Dublin July 18th and 19th. These are the only two shows we're doing in 2025 together.

• 0:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00Andrew Santino?

  International boys, we're done.

• 1:02Bobby Lee?

  If you're living in Scotland, go to London. If you're living in somewhere else, go to...

• 1:06Andrew Santino?

  Right, it's easy. If you're living in Scotland, go to England. And if you're living in...

• 1:11Bobby Lee?

  Norway.

• 1:11Andrew Santino?

  Norway, please fly to Dublin.

• 1:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, or Poland.

• 1:14Andrew Santino?

  And Poland. If you're living in Poland, you probably gotta come to our Polish show. We're doing one Polish sausage show.

• 1:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19Andrew Santino?

  Or not. July 18th and 19th, London and Dublin. Go to badfriendspod.com, badfriendspod.com.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

• 1:36Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, she returns. She has risen. It's Rudy Jewels. She's been away from the show for too long. She's been doing a lot of Tiger Belly, a lot of Belly Tiger, a lot of Trash Tuesday.

• 1:52Bobby Lee?

  I have an intro that I prepared.

• 1:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sorry about that.

• 1:55Bobby Lee?

  Can I?

• 1:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, please.

• 1:57Bobby Lee?

  It's gonna take a couple of minutes.

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, do it.

• 2:04Bobby Lee?

  Hello, my weary travelers. My boat crashed along a seashore and I ran into a fair, the Renaissance Fair. And I saw many things. Chalices being made, chainmails. And I also saw one school shooter.

• 2:27Bobby Lee?

  I saw, um, a man walking a pickle. Yes. And, um, I have found my people. And I have some gifts for you all, if I may. If I may?

• 2:39Andrew Santino?

  Did you really?

• 2:40Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 2:41Andrew Santino?

  Honestly?

• 2:46Andrew Santino?

  Will you play the, uh, bird again?

• 2:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:48Andrew Santino?

  That's beautiful.

• 2:53Bobby Lee?

  For Jules.

• 2:53Andrew Santino?

  I'm not kidding, I love that thing.

• 2:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Jules. I bought you, um... It's a wand? It's a wand.

• 2:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's what they call it.

• 3:01Bobby Lee?

  Come, come grab it.

• 3:06Andrew Santino?

  Play the bird, play the bird, play the bird, bud.

• 3:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay, sorry.

• 3:11Bobby Lee?

  There's not enough water, I gotta put some more water in.

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  Very good.

• 3:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, very good.

• 3:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, put some more water.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  Needs water.

• 3:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, king.

• 3:24Andrew Santino?

  What is that?

• 3:25Bobby Lee?

  I king. I got you Voldemort's wand.

• 3:27Andrew Santino?

  God bless. Oh! Blow the, blow the bird.

• 3:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 3:37Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, here.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 3:41Bobby Lee?

  And then.

• 3:42Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 3:42Bobby Lee?

  For my, for my friend Carlos. Come, please.

• 3:48Andrew Santino?

  Blow the bird!

• 3:55Bobby Lee?

  Here's a wand for you, my friend.

• 3:57Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  Here you go. All right?

• 3:59Andrew Santino?

  Much, much more-

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  Do not jam it in your ass.

• 4:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  Happy birthday, Carlos.

• 4:04Andrew Santino?

  Stop it.

• 4:06Bobby Lee?

  McCowan, please come.

• 4:13Bobby Lee?

  I gave you a black bird charmer. Here you go, my friend.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  Cool.

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you say, idiot?

• 4:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you bow or something.

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Bow.

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  Andreas.

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  Bow.

• 4:25Bobby Lee?

  Come here, I have a gift for you too.

• 4:26Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 4:27Bobby Lee?

  I have a gift for you too, Andreas. This is the big one.

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  Right. This is a ceramic penis.

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  Bibbidi-bobbidi-boom.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:44Bobby Lee?

  And that's, that's, that is it. I had a joyous day.

• 4:47Andrew Santino?

  Bob.

• 4:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Thank you so much. And then you just got drunk all day, huh?

• 4:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I got

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Smash.

• 4:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how'd you get here?

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Uber.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, good.

• 4:56Andrew Santino?

  Uber.

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  Uber, my friend.

• 4:58Andrew Santino?

  Uber.

• 4:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:59Andrew Santino?

  Can I tell you something?

• 5:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I love it.

• 5:01Andrew Santino?

  This means more than I think you know. To me.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 5:03Andrew Santino?

  To me.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 5:04Andrew Santino?

  Well, because you don't buy me stuff.

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Andrew Santino?

  This is special.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  That was one of the most expensive ones there.

• 5:09Andrew Santino?

  How much?

• 5:11Bobby Lee?

  Fifty dollars.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:13Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so we saw on Instagram Bobby went to the Renaissance Fair. First time ever.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  First time, last time, first time, first time.

• 5:20Bobby Lee?

  I'm going next Sunday.

• 5:21Andrew Santino?

  You are?

• 5:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and Jules is gonna come.

• 5:23Andrew Santino?

  Are you really going?

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  You excited?

• 5:24Speaker 05

  I wanna go. Are there elves?

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, there's elves, there's orcs. There's everything that you can desire.

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, explain to us how much fun you have. It looks really cool.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 5:33Andrew Santino?

  Shut up, fancy, shut up. Honestly, shut up.

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  That was me.

• 5:37Andrew Santino?

  Phony.

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  At the fair today.

• 5:39Andrew Santino?

  You're at the fair with your friend Brittany.

• 5:40Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 5:41Andrew Santino?

  And I'm proud that you dressed up.

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  Well, you can rent, see, that's, that's where I made the mistake.

• 5:46Andrew Santino?

  You rented?

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  I came like this.

• 5:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  And then I went to the store and I rented that vest.

• 5:52Andrew Santino?

  Good-looking vest?

• 5:53Bobby Lee?

  And I was just jamming out here in front of this, yeah, it was. I'm telling you, dude, that was

• 5:59Andrew Santino?

  Did you love?

• 6:00Bobby Lee?

  What a song.

• 6:00Andrew Santino?

  You loved it.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  I saw jousting, I saw a couple of plays.

• 6:03Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 6:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it was a very enjoyable thing.

• 6:05Andrew Santino?

  So you'll go back?

• 6:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna go back next Sunday, yeah, with Jules and dumbfounded and Gene and also Andrea Jean.

• 6:12Andrew Santino?

  Look at that, you look good.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  And I'm gonna, I'm gonna, we're gonna dress as and I'm gonna get you a dress as peasants, but, but Asian peasants. So my fantasy is this.

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  Wait, that's not Asian peasants, whatever you did before?

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  No, that wasn't Asian peasants.

• 6:27Andrew Santino?

  Who is that? Who's that woman?

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  That's Brittany, the girl I was with.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, stop creeping.

• 6:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, stop creeping.

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, stop creeping, dude.

• 6:33Bobby Lee?

  Don't, don't, don't, don't, okay.

• 6:36Bobby Lee?

  So, no, I'm gonna dress

• 6:37Andrew Santino?

  All the bird.

• 6:38Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay. Okay. You wanna communicate?

• 6:49Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 6:49Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  That's a connection.

• 6:50Andrew Santino?

  I heard it, yeah.

• 6:51Bobby Lee?

  We'll always experience for the rest of our lives. So what I'm gonna say to you is that we're dressed as, you know what I mean? Japanese rice farmers from the 17th century. And our little canoe got lost. And we ended up in the shores of this English countryside.

• 7:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:07Bobby Lee?

  And we end up at Renaissance Fair and we'll have samurai swords. And I'm gonna wear the little rice paddy hats. And we're gonna get you like a dress, you know what I mean?

• 7:15Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 7:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay, unless you wanna, unless you wanna dress, how would you like to dress?

• 7:19Speaker 05

  Like the elves.

• 7:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 7:22Andrew Santino?

  Kinda dress like an elf right now.

• 7:23Bobby Lee?

  The Philippines don't have dr- well, elves, I mean.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, we do.

• 7:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, those are called, um, crickets. Those are Filipino crickets, dude. They're not elves.

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  What does it say in your sweater?

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, is that a Filipino cricket or elf?

• 7:38Speaker 05

  Piglet.

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  Piglet.

• 7:39Bobby Lee?

  That's a piglet?

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  What's been going on with you, Jules?

• 7:42Speaker 05

  Do you, do you always get drunk on Easter?

• 7:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:46Andrew Santino?

  For Jesus.

• 7:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  Nice try, Jews, you know what I mean?

• 7:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, this is the Andrew I like.

• 7:53Andrew Santino?

  We got you, Jews.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  So did you, um, go egg hunting?

• 7:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you did.

• 7:57Andrew Santino?

  Something, something like that.

• 7:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, what's in those little eggs, huh?

• 8:01Andrew Santino?

  A little bit of money.

• 8:02Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 8:02Andrew Santino?

  Chocolate.

• 8:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you and your buddies, huh? Charlie Day, Jason Bateman.

• 8:07Andrew Santino?

  Why, you bring, you bring these names like that, aren't relevant at all.

• 8:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude. Hollywood, and so happy Easter to you.

• 8:16Andrew Santino?

  Who did I go egg hunting with?

• 8:17Bobby Lee?

  I have no idea, you're fancy friends.

• 8:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:20Andrew Santino?

  Allison Janney.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, of course, Bradley Whitford, the whole cast of West Wing.

• 8:24Andrew Santino?

  Bradley, Bradley Cooper.

• 8:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  Bradley Cooper.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  No, Bradley Whitford, the whole, the whole.

• 8:29Andrew Santino?

  And Jon Hamm. Jon Hamm and I had lunch today.

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  Are you being real?

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  No, fuckhead.

• 8:35Bobby Lee?

  Do you know Jon?

• 8:35Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I met him once.

• 8:37Andrew Santino?

  You do.

• 8:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, one time I met him.

• 8:42Andrew Santino?

  Time out.

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  Let's be honest.

• 8:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:44Andrew Santino?

  Are you still mad at Carlos or no? Cause I feel like there's a lot of tension from last week.

• 8:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you know, I'm a forgiving man and I bought him a-

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  You really are.

• 8:54Bobby Lee?

  It was really hard to buy him a wand. Yeah, I mean, I pondered over it for like an hour looking at it.

• 9:00Andrew Santino?

  Be honest.

• 9:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, two hours.

• 9:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 9:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I went, you know what? He deserves a wand.

• 9:06Andrew Santino?

  He does.

• 9:06Bobby Lee?

  Yes. So, you know, when Voldemort or the Jews attack.

• 9:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:18Andrew Santino?

  Good boy.

• 9:19Bobby Lee?

  Maybe I regret getting that from McCone, but um. Yeah, he's going hog wild with it, but um. It is a beautiful thing. If you ever, would you ever go?

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 9:29Speaker 05

  You should go with us to.

• 9:31Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 9:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Why wouldn't you go though? It's so, I laughed the whole time.

• 9:36Andrew Santino?

  Okay, how about this?

• 9:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  Will you come to an NBA game?

• 9:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:41Andrew Santino?

  No, you won't.

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  I will.

• 9:42Andrew Santino?

  You won't.

• 9:43Bobby Lee?

  If you get me tickets.

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  Would you come to an Dodger game? Will you sit in a Dodger game?

• 9:48Bobby Lee?

  I'll go with you.

• 9:49Andrew Santino?

  Four hours?

• 9:49Bobby Lee?

  I'll go with you.

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  No, you won't.

• 9:50Bobby Lee?

  Yes, if you-

• 9:51Andrew Santino?

  You know you won't. I've offered you before.

• 9:53Bobby Lee?

  I'll sign a contract going, I will go if you go to a run on Suns Fair.

• 9:56Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, can I get some help? For real. I've offered you to come to, you don't want to come-

• 10:01Bobby Lee?

  You've never offered me. Have you ever-

• 10:02Andrew Santino?

  That's not true.

• 10:03Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever heard him offer me?

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, Andreas.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 10:06Speaker 06

  No, he has for the Lakers, actually.

• 10:08Andrew Santino?

  Yes, I have. I've-

• 10:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:09Andrew Santino?

  Come, you won't go to a Lakers-

• 10:10Bobby Lee?

  I love it. If I'm sitting next to fucking Jack Nicholson, I'll do it.

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  He's dead.

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  Do, do, do. No, but seriously, you won't come to an NBA game.

• 10:20Bobby Lee?

  I will go. That's what it is.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  That's an NBA game.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  Look at the women.

• 10:23Andrew Santino?

  That's your NBA.

• 10:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:26Bobby Lee?

  But I laughed so hard, like, you know, there was a play, I can't get into it because it's-

• 10:29Andrew Santino?

  Do it.

• 10:30Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna get in trouble. No.

• 10:30Andrew Santino?

  No, come on, please.

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  Well, years ago, I was on a game show and um, it was with Rob Gronkowski in that game show called Game On.

• 10:38Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:39Bobby Lee?

  Right? And there was like-

• 10:40Andrew Santino?

  It was terrible.

• 10:43Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 10:46Andrew Santino?

  Bad TV.

• 10:47Bobby Lee?

  So I did a joke and.

• 10:49Andrew Santino?

  Happy Easter.

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  The producers came up to me and they go, we have to cut that out. I go, why?

• 10:54Andrew Santino?

  What did you say?

• 10:55Bobby Lee?

  He goes racist.

• 10:56Andrew Santino?

  What'd you say?

• 10:57Bobby Lee?

  I said, there was a thing about Renaissance Fairs and what's one thing about the Renaissance Fair? And I go, there's no black people. And then they came up to me and go, cut, you can't say that.

• 11:06Andrew Santino?

  Literal fact.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  When I went there, I saw three.

• 11:12Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute.

• 11:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but those, but these three though, special kind. You know what I mean?

• 11:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wait, wait. Look who we see on the fourth picture and look who we see. My boy, my dog.

• 11:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's my dog, dude.

• 11:24Andrew Santino?

  James.

• 11:24Bobby Lee?

  Did you finish it?

• 11:25Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  Stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:30Andrew Santino?

  And I, is the fire bothering you? Dude, I love him.

• 11:34Bobby Lee?

  Stop, stop.

• 11:35Andrew Santino?

  I love him.

• 11:35Bobby Lee?

  You can't do that.

• 11:36Andrew Santino?

  I just did it.

• 11:37Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you can't do it.

• 11:38Andrew Santino?

  It was great. Yes, yes. Is the fire bothering you?

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  Mom, dad.

• 11:47Andrew Santino?

  This guy is so fucking James.

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he's the biggest dick.

• 11:50Andrew Santino?

  What? He's the coolest guy in the show.

• 11:51Bobby Lee?

  Coolest guy, I'm the coolest guy. I'm so sorry.

• 11:54Andrew Santino?

  James.

• 11:54Bobby Lee?

  I just imagined.

• 11:55Andrew Santino?

  James is the man.

• 11:57Bobby Lee?

  But is he better than Connor?

• 11:59Andrew Santino?

  Connor and James are head to head.

• 12:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  For me, they're head to head.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, now.

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  Here's, here's Connor, ready?

• 12:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:06Andrew Santino?

  She's coming over. Dude, I love that he pauses words.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Did you see the last episode?

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  Shh.

• 12:14Bobby Lee?

  Did you?

• 12:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:15Bobby Lee?

  Were you mad at me?

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  No, because it was still hot.

• 12:19Bobby Lee?

  What a beaut- you know what?

• 12:20Andrew Santino?

  Hot makeup.

• 12:20Bobby Lee?

  Now we can talk about it.

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  No, you can. Well, for the fans, it's too late now. You had to watch.

• 12:25Bobby Lee?

  But I, um.

• 12:26Andrew Santino?

  Georgie.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  I, when I kiss somebody, I want to be like them.

• 12:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  Where it's like.

• 12:33Andrew Santino?

  They want you to be like them.

• 12:34Bobby Lee?

  The magic.

• 12:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:36Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? The magic, the spark, you know? And that's what I'm waiting for.

• 12:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, Abby has been making up. Remember, do you remember we ran into Abby at the airport? Remember this?

• 12:46Bobby Lee?

  That was so funny.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  We were going to Boston. Where were we going? Boston?

• 12:49Bobby Lee?

  We were going somewhere and Abby and his.

• 12:50Andrew Santino?

  Do you guys remember this? Who was with us?

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  No, Abby and her mom was there.

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:54Bobby Lee?

  And then, um, I don't know. I think I started the conversation with them first.

• 12:58Andrew Santino?

  There she is. There's Abby.

• 12:59Bobby Lee?

  And she was so sweet.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  The what?

• 13:01Speaker 06

  Wood.

• 13:03Andrew Santino?

  Would?

• 13:03Speaker 06

  Would, I would. Abby.

• 13:05Andrew Santino?

  Carlos.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  Carlos.

• 13:06Andrew Santino?

  I do.

• 13:11Andrew Santino?

  When he says something perverse, we always go.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  It's really low.

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:16Andrew Santino?

  She's the shit. Carlos.

• 13:18Bobby Lee?

  Carlos. What would you do first, Carlos?

• 13:23Speaker 06

  Put on a Disney Plus?

• 13:25Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 13:26Andrew Santino?

  Smart.

• 13:26Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  Smart.

• 13:27Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  You know what I'd do? Get her some Dolphin stickers.

• 13:33Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 13:33Bobby Lee?

  Put some around the room.

• 13:34Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  And she'll go, yay, or whatever, you know what I mean? And then what else?

• 13:39Andrew Santino?

  That's good.

• 13:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:42Andrew Santino?

  Jules.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  Jules. Do you watch that show?

• 13:44Speaker 05

  No.

• 13:44Andrew Santino?

  You don't see Love on the Spectrum? You don't watch that?

• 13:46Speaker 05

  No.

• 13:47Andrew Santino?

  What are you watching right now? White Lotus?

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  No, she didn't watch that.

• 13:50Speaker 05

  The Last of Us.

• 13:51Bobby Lee?

  Is there Love on the Spectrum in the Philippines? Imagine them.

• 13:55Speaker 05

  Well, I see.

• 13:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they're drowning in a puddle poo. You want to climb this tree? You want to climb this tree? I'm kidding. So, I don't like Last of Us because of the mushroom zombies.

• 14:07Speaker 05

  But that's the most realistic thing.

• 14:10Bobby Lee?

  Mushroom zombies?

• 14:12Speaker 05

  Cordyceps, they do that.

• 14:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. That is the most real.

• 14:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, I do have an itchy foot. Is that from that?

• 14:19Andrew Santino?

  You are my mushroom. You're my mushroom zombie.

• 14:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I got rid of my fungi through the machines.

• 14:23Andrew Santino?

  By the way, your double piercing is, that's right. Looking good. Good for you, dude.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  Are you okay?

• 14:32Andrew Santino?

  I just think you're not part of us anymore. You left us.

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 05

  Oh my.

• 14:36Bobby Lee?

  Give her what you miss about her.

• 14:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, here's the deal. I love Jules. We started the show with Jules. And then every time I see her, I'm like, oh, she's not ours anymore.

• 14:45Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 14:46Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean. Don't play dumb with me, pal.

• 14:49Bobby Lee?

  Did she?

• 14:49Andrew Santino?

  You disappeared. You became a star on other shows. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

• 14:53Bobby Lee?

  I live with her. I don't.

• 14:54Andrew Santino?

  Am I wrong?

• 14:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not. You're not wrong.

• 14:56Andrew Santino?

  You don't even take care of his house well.

• 14:57Bobby Lee?

  She abandons the dog sometimes, no?

• 14:59Andrew Santino?

  Too famous.

• 15:00Speaker 05

  No, I don't.

• 15:01Bobby Lee?

  Today. You walked in at noon, it's 6 o'clock, and now you're coming home?

• 15:05Speaker 05

  That's fine.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  Where were you?

• 15:06Andrew Santino?

  Where were you?

• 15:07Speaker 05

  Out with friends.

• 15:09Andrew Santino?

  No, don't.

• 15:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, dude.

• 15:11Andrew Santino?

  Where were you?

• 15:12Speaker 05

  Out with friends.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  Where are friends? What? You have no friends.

• 15:20Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 15:20Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 15:21Speaker 05

  I went to the V.

• 15:22Bobby Lee?

  You went to fifteen milk tea shops. That's what you did. Yeah, you do something weird like that and the dogs need to get walked. And they cry at night.

• 15:31Andrew Santino?

  But they're not being walked. Cause of you.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:35Andrew Santino?

  Cause you're negligent.

• 15:37Speaker 05

  Sometimes.

• 15:38Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  My god.

• 15:39Andrew Santino?

  What a miss, huh?

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  Did you ask for the jar head at the fucking? The hair plant place? I did. Yeah, yeah. It's a weird. Can I get the jar head from, you know? Wade. Full Metal Jacket. I want the haircut from Full Metal Jacket.

• 15:52Andrew Santino?

  Fans.

• 15:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, fans. What is that? He doesn't look good. You have to wait.

• 15:57Andrew Santino?

  You have to wait.

• 15:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 15:59Andrew Santino?

  That's you.

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  That's you, dude. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing?

• 16:02Andrew Santino?

  I don't know what I've been told.

• 16:08Bobby Lee?

  That's you, dude. My god. And are you mad that your people aren't in the new Star Wars?

• 16:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what the? Crazy.

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? They should just put porgs in there.

• 16:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, porgy, porgy, porgy.

• 16:22Bobby Lee?

  And with the milting, they could be milting porgs. Right? With guns. Hey, hey, fuck, Chewbacca can't eat us. Right? That's you, dude.

• 16:30Andrew Santino?

  You look good, fans.

• 16:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you look really good. Yeah.

• 16:32Andrew Santino?

  Let's go back to the vic.

• 16:33Bobby Lee?

  Can you, when you look at your penis, is it translucent? It seems like it is.

• 16:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 16:41Bobby Lee?

  You know what's rude? Put it in your pocket. Don't put it there.

• 16:43Andrew Santino?

  Pervert.

• 16:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're gonna take your wand home, right?

• 16:46Andrew Santino?

  Jules, what's been going on with Jules?

• 16:49Bobby Lee?

  Well, you keep asking that, dude.

• 16:50Andrew Santino?

  Because she's not around anymore.

• 16:51Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 16:52Andrew Santino?

  She left us. Guys.

• 16:53Speaker 05

  I didn't leave you guys.

• 16:55Andrew Santino?

  Did she leave us?

• 16:56Bobby Lee?

  She's graduating.

• 16:56Andrew Santino?

  No, no, look at the booth. Did she leave us?

• 16:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:59Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  She's graduating from college in two months, right?

• 17:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:03Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that crazy? She started the show when she was in high school.

• 17:05Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 17:06Andrew Santino?

  Senior in high school.

• 17:07Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 17:08Speaker 05

  But I didn't leave you guys.

• 17:09Andrew Santino?

  Yes, you did. Don't, don't, don't, don't.

• 17:12Speaker 05

  I didn't. Trash Tuesday and Tiger Belly. Ask me. Not you guys.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  Fans at home. Did she leave us? Comment down below.

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, comment down.

• 17:22Andrew Santino?

  You know you did. Who gave you the most fun opportunities? Us.

• 17:27Bobby Lee?

  And she doesn't take them.

• 17:28Andrew Santino?

  Nah, yeah.

• 17:29Bobby Lee?

  Come down to Long Beach.

• 17:30Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't.

• 17:30Bobby Lee?

  Get appreciated.

• 17:31Andrew Santino?

  I don't want to.

• 17:32Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  I don't want to.

• 17:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:34Andrew Santino?

  And it's fine.

• 17:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:35Andrew Santino?

  And now you're single, she's a hot shot, she's got money, does whatever she wants, single. It's, it's.

• 17:41Bobby Lee?

  You know what's so funny about you two?

• 17:42Andrew Santino?

  Give it to her.

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  You claim you don't have a lot of money, but there's a lot of Amazon packages for you.

• 17:46Andrew Santino?

  A lot.

• 17:46Speaker 05

  Because I need underwear!

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's not, nobody's ordering underwear.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  And hangers!

• 17:51Bobby Lee?

  Go to Ross!

• 17:52Speaker 05

  I need underwear and hangers!

• 17:54Andrew Santino?

  See, people like you.

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  People are like, ungrateful.

• 17:56Andrew Santino?

  Ungrateful.

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  I can, I can.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  Ungrateful people.

• 17:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, people like you.

• 17:59Andrew Santino?

  What has Tito Bobby done for you?

• 18:01Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 18:01Andrew Santino?

  Literally everything, and here you are, ordering underwear off of Amazon.

• 18:08Andrew Santino?

  Disgusting.

• 18:10Bobby Lee?

  Heavy metal fucking.

• 18:15Bobby Lee?

  What have you done?

• 18:20Bobby Lee?

  I don't know. I don't know, what have you done for me?

• 18:22Andrew Santino?

  Move away.

• 18:23Bobby Lee?

  Let's move away.

• 18:23Andrew Santino?

  Can I tell you something?

• 18:24Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 18:24Andrew Santino?

  Fuck you. When you posted that photo of you at the Renaissance Fair?

• 18:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  I literally said, I go, "He looks happier than I've seen him in years."

• 18:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:31Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm serious, put up the photo. I'm not kidding. I saw that photo today.

• 18:35Bobby Lee?

  Which one, with me and Britt, or just me dancing?

• 18:37Andrew Santino?

  You and Britt, dude. I was like, you guys, you look so stoked. You know why?

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  She's my friend, you know that.

• 18:43Andrew Santino?

  I know, dude, but I'm just saying, you know why?

• 18:45Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 18:45Speaker 05

  So pretty.

• 18:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's very, very pretty.

• 18:47Andrew Santino?

  You know why?

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:48Andrew Santino?

  Because you're having, I can tell right there, you're goofing. You're having fun. And you're goofing, I said, "Oh man, he's goofing, he's having a good time." And I guarantee you, you got recognized a lot, and you were jamming and having a good day.

• 19:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'll be honest with you.

• 19:01Andrew Santino?

  Carlos?

• 19:01Bobby Lee?

  I had two fairies.

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  Am I right?

• 19:03Bobby Lee?

  I had two fairies, two executioners.

• 19:05Andrew Santino?

  Who'd you get recognized?

• 19:06Bobby Lee?

  The king.

• 19:07Andrew Santino?

  A king recognized you?

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  I, I, another one, this is a funny one, dude, a man, so he was holding something, you know, on a leash. And there was like a man with no shirt on, black leather pants, I don't know what he was. He was holding something on a leash, and I go, that's, and I, and I followed the leash down, and there was another man, as like a dog or something.

• 19:28Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 19:28Bobby Lee?

  Just crawling on the ground, like that.

• 19:30Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 19:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you have that too.

• 19:32Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, that's just, what do you mean?

• 19:33Bobby Lee?

  And the dog, the do, dog human recognized him, he went,

• 19:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so that was nice.

• 19:42Andrew Santino?

  That's a real thing there, by the way. You do see like people on leashes, huh?

• 19:45Bobby Lee?

  There's a lot of weird things there, a lot of trans, which I support.

• 19:52Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 19:53Andrew Santino?

  I know, but...

• 19:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And it's a couple of them like, "My lady," and he goes, "He, lady!"

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  Miss her.

• 20:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:01Andrew Santino?

  Miss her, miss her.

• 20:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, that was one of those situations.

• 20:05Andrew Santino?

  That's okay.

• 20:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's okay.

• 20:06Andrew Santino?

  You're, you're guessing.

• 20:07Bobby Lee?

  I was gathering information.

• 20:08Andrew Santino?

  You're guessing, you're gathering information as you go.

• 20:09Bobby Lee?

  It's a long walk. It's a lot of walking.

• 20:12Andrew Santino?

  What, Orange County? Where was this?

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  It's in Pasadena.

• 20:14Andrew Santino?

  Gotta be.

• 20:15Bobby Lee?

  It was long, but it, it, it just goes on forever. And then it's like, I eat crepes. Yeah, okay.

• 20:22Andrew Santino?

  You like sweet or savory crepes?

• 20:24Speaker 05

  Sweet.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  Nutella?

• 20:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:27Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 20:27Speaker 05

  It was strawberry.

• 20:28Bobby Lee?

  You like Pinkberry or Yogurtland?

• 20:31Andrew Santino?

  I hate Pinkberry so much, it's unbelievable.

• 20:34Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  What?

• 20:35Andrew Santino?

  It's a fake place.

• 20:35Bobby Lee?

  I know, it's not a fake place.

• 20:36Andrew Santino?

  It's dog shit.

• 20:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Andrew Santino?

  Give me ice cream. Frozen yogurt is a lie. Am I right, guys? It's a lie.

• 20:43Bobby Lee?

  It's not a lie.

• 20:44Andrew Santino?

  It's a lie. Tell me this. Pinkberry can't compete with Salt and Straw, McConnell's, Van Leeuwen. It doesn't even come close.

• 20:53Bobby Lee?

  It's a cleaner taste, though.

• 20:55Andrew Santino?

  But it doesn't satisfy you?

• 20:56Bobby Lee?

  It does.

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  No, it doesn't.

• 20:57Bobby Lee?

  With the chocolate malt crunch?

• 20:59Andrew Santino?

  The fuck it does.

• 21:00Bobby Lee?

  Dude, chocolate crunch with...

• 21:01Andrew Santino?

  Ice cream is better than frozen yogurt every day of the week! Everyone knows! Ice cream...

• 21:12Andrew Santino?

  Cash App, you owe me money, you know that.

• 21:15Bobby Lee?

  I know, and you know what? I sent it to you on Cash App.

• 21:17Andrew Santino?

  You have to send it to me on Cash App, because Cash App...

• 21:18Bobby Lee?

  I already did, I already did.

• 21:19Andrew Santino?

  It's a safe, easy, and fast way to send, receive, and transfer money to family and friends. Bobby and I are both a family and friends. It's so easy to get started. Just enter your phone number or email. No bank account needed at all. And your money... My money showed up right away.

• 21:31Bobby Lee?

  No, we're waiting around for days now, man. It's your money, you shouldn't have to wait.

• 21:35Andrew Santino?

  Cash App has your back. If you're about to send money to a sketchy account, a scam warning pops up. Do you feel way more relaxed knowing Cash App has your back? Because you should, it does. And by the way, I got scammed on one of these money transfer things. I'm not going to tell you which one, but somebody was using my money to rent boats in Florida and go fishing.

• 21:53Bobby Lee?

  That was me, dude.

• 21:53Andrew Santino?

  That was you?

• 21:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 21:55Bobby Lee?

  Really good yellow fish.

• 21:56Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'll tell you what. I use, I love using Cash App because it's fast, it's safe, and it makes life way less stressful. All right, so from now on, all you gotta use is Cash App. It's the best. Uh, for a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real. No catch.

• 22:13Bobby Lee?

  Just download Cash App, use your code BADFRIENDS when you sign up. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. That's money, that's Cash App.

• 22:24Andrew Santino?

  That's Displate.

• 22:25Bobby Lee?

  Displate is a one of a kind metal poster designed to capture your unique passions.

• 22:30Andrew Santino?

  Displate created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy, magnet mountain, and durable enough to withstand a lifetime of intense staring. Look at these beautiful posters right here and listen, listen how that is, huh?

• 22:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's like thunder.

• 22:40Andrew Santino?

  It's magnet mounted, no holes in your wall, none of that nonsense.

• 22:42Bobby Lee?

  They sound effects.

• 22:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, woo. When we were kids, you used to have to, uh, thumb tack them to the wall or tape them, and then you ruined your mom and dad's wall, or slam a nail in the wall. Not anymore. Now with Displate, it's easy, safe, magnet mounted system. It takes 20 seconds, no need to drill holes. Stick a protective leaf, place a magnet, put the Displate on your wall. It's that easy.

• 23:02Bobby Lee?

  Well, they used to deteriorate.

• 23:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they used to fade.

• 23:04Bobby Lee?

  They don't deteriorate anymore.

• 23:05Andrew Santino?

  In the sun. These aren't gonna fade in the sun ever again. It's high quality. They got over 2 million designs available, whether it's Disney, Marvel, DC, Warhammer, your favorite anime shows and movies, including Bad Friends Official Designs.

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, celebrate 12 years of these sleek metal posters with the biggest sale of the year. Shop millions of designs and enjoy birthday surprises with every order, including a set of stickers and a gift card.

• 23:26Andrew Santino?

  On top of that, use code BADFRIENDS or click the link in the description and get the biggest discount of this year. One to two Displates is 33% off, three Displates is 37% off, four or more Displates is 42% off. Happy birthday, Displate.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 24:08Andrew Santino?

  Ice cream is so much better than frozen yogurt. Everyone in here knows. Please, somebody, please.

• 24:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 24:14Andrew Santino?

  Pinkberry is dog shit.

• 24:16Bobby Lee?

  Are you lactose?

• 24:16Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 24:17Bobby Lee?

  Are you lactose?

• 24:18Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm Christian.

• 24:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm lactose, but I'm converting to Christian.

• 24:22Andrew Santino?

  You're the first Korean Jew that I've ever met.

• 24:24Bobby Lee?

  I know, dude.

• 24:27Andrew Santino?

  No dude, you don't, you can't have ice cream.

• 24:30Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 24:30Andrew Santino?

  When we go out, no you have, you just take a lactate over.

• 24:33Bobby Lee?

  I like a lactate.

• 24:34Andrew Santino?

  I like a lactate.

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  I like a lactate.

• 24:36Andrew Santino?

  Can you have lactose?

• 24:37Speaker 05

  I don't, but I still eat it.

• 24:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:39Andrew Santino?

  Your stomach gets upset? Man, what it's like to be Jewish in South Korea.

• 24:45Bobby Lee?

  Let's zoom in.

• 24:46Andrew Santino?

  I'm shocked.

• 24:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they, they're, they are there. Wow.

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Not one of those people in South Korea.

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, look, well, look at the one in the hat right there, that's, that's like a Korean Jew. Right there, Korean Jew.

• 24:57Andrew Santino?

  I can't wait to leave.

• 24:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:58Andrew Santino?

  Look at your little wand, by the way.

• 25:00Bobby Lee?

  You like your wand?

• 25:00Speaker 05

  It's so nice.

• 25:05Andrew Santino?

  What are you texting?

• 25:06Bobby Lee?

  Nothing.

• 25:07Andrew Santino?

  You're on your shit. Here's the deal about Bob, when he falls in love with somebody, or falls in crush, whatever, he's on his phone the whole time.

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  That's crazy.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  You have another crush?

• 25:17Andrew Santino?

  Hard, hard. You love, you like this person a lot.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  No, let me do my own.

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry.

• 25:31Andrew Santino?

  Dating addiction.

• 25:34Bobby Lee?

  Maybe cut that out. That felt weird, it didn't hit.

• 25:38Andrew Santino?

  Carlos thinks you have a dating addiction.

• 25:41Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, um, I've been looking up limerence.

• 25:44Andrew Santino?

  Limericks, from Ireland?

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  No, limerence.

• 25:47Andrew Santino?

  And I will love you so very much, what is it?

• 25:50Bobby Lee?

  Limerence is, um, an infatuation with somebody that's bordering on unhealthy.

• 25:56Andrew Santino?

  Do you think that's what you have?

• 25:57Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, so I'm being mindful about how I behave. You know, why, why can't I deserve love?

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  That's what we're saying. No, we're not saying. No, we're literally saying, I want you to be happy, am I wrong? I, I think you're a sabotager. Why? I don't know, man. How?

• 26:15Bobby Lee?

  Would you ever hook me up with a friend of yours?

• 26:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and can I tell you something? Every time you date someone, or starts talking to someone, I do something. What do you think I do?

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  A prayer.

• 26:24Andrew Santino?

  And I'm gonna say this to the fans right now.

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Andrew Santino?

  What do you think I really do?

• 26:27Bobby Lee?

  A prayer?

• 26:28Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 26:28Bobby Lee?

  What do you do?

• 26:30Andrew Santino?

  Every time you date somebody, I look into their profile. And what's the first thing you think I do, Carlos? What do you think I do with their profile?

• 26:36Bobby Lee?

  Let me guess, you jerk off?

• 26:37Andrew Santino?

  Uh-uh. Carlos, what do you think I do?

• 26:39Speaker 06

  I think you look at the stories.

• 26:41Andrew Santino?

  I see if-

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  I think you look at the stories.

• 26:43Andrew Santino?

  I see if, uh, go ahead, McCon?

• 26:45Speaker 06

  If she's following a bunch of other comics?

• 26:47Andrew Santino?

  Uh-huh. Thank you, McCon.

• 26:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 26:50Andrew Santino?

  I go, how many people, comics does she follow? And then I also see, has she-

• 26:57Andrew Santino?

  DM'd anyone we know?

• 27:00Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 27:01Andrew Santino?

  And the current woman that you're having a good time with?

• 27:06Andrew Santino?

  Goose egg.

• 27:09Andrew Santino?

  That means she's a good one. Am I wrong?

• 27:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:11Andrew Santino?

  She's not following a lot of comics?

• 27:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:13Andrew Santino?

  And she hasn't been DMing comics?

• 27:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  That means she's legit. She likes-

• 27:18Bobby Lee?

  She's not a chuckle fucker.

• 27:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, no. She likes Bobby Lee. Instead of liking the world of Bobby Lee, she likes Bobby Lee. And that, to me, as the booth knows, is the most important. Have I not supported you, seriously? Hey. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

• 27:33Bobby Lee?

  Enough of that. I think you are gonna get dry- it's gonna drive people crazy.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No, but am I being serious?

• 27:39Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 27:40Andrew Santino?

  When I see she's following other comics, blah, blah.

• 27:42Bobby Lee?

  And let me tell you something. I looked into golf. And when I see a golf ball, right, I look at it different because of you.

• 27:48Andrew Santino?

  And what do you do? Sorry.

• 27:51Bobby Lee?

  That's what happens. It never arrives to me. It drifts away from me like you do.

• 27:56Andrew Santino?

  Here, I'll get it. We got one. We got a kid that'll get it.

• 27:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:58Andrew Santino?

  Good girl. Oh, my God. Oh, my-

• 28:01Bobby Lee?

  Nerf. You mean?

• 28:02Andrew Santino?

  Dude. King dork.

• 28:04Bobby Lee?

  And don't get offended by this, if I may.

• 28:06Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead.

• 28:06Bobby Lee?

  Right, but this look, this, the texture of the ball-

• 28:09Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 28:10Bobby Lee?

  It's kinda like your face.

• 28:12Andrew Santino?

  Go on.

• 28:15Andrew Santino?

  Go on.

• 28:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, I think if you were younger, maybe you had some acne?

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  So I'm feeling those craters.

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you feel that?

• 28:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah?

• 28:23Bobby Lee?

  And then, but the center, there's a mass in there. You know what I mean? And that's the brain.

• 28:29Andrew Santino?

  That's my brain.

• 28:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and that's the brain. And your brain?

• 28:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Bobby Lee?

  Is fold- filled.

• 28:33Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 28:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, with knowledge.

• 28:35Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 28:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, yeah. But this texture of the skin, though, is what I wanna go back to.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  Is it bad?

• 28:41Bobby Lee?

  Not my favorite.

• 28:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyway, here you go.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

• 28:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:51Andrew Santino?

  I'll take that hit.

• 28:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What do I remind you of?

• 28:54Andrew Santino?

  An ugly old fifty-two-year-old man who's single and sad.

• 28:59Bobby Lee?

  Wow. That was fast. That was fast? And furious. Part of six, I'll tell you that. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

• 29:09Andrew Santino?

  You're the prettiest guy.

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  You're a pretty.

• 29:10Andrew Santino?

  And who supports you more than me? Not these fucking clowns.

• 29:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 29:16Bobby Lee?

  I mean.

• 29:16Andrew Santino?

  Now that you're single, what are you gonna do, loser?

• 29:18Speaker 05

  Eat pussy.

• 29:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:23Andrew Santino?

  Dude, are you on to girls? Are you on to girls?

• 29:25Speaker 05

  I don't know, but I'll try.

• 29:27Andrew Santino?

  That's the thing about, that's the thing about love on the spectrum. The autistic kids, they, when they're like, I don't know if I like guys, they go right to, uh, by curious and.

• 29:39Speaker 05

  So I'm autistic?

• 29:40Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but the two girls in there got together.

• 29:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah?

• 29:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, in their love.

• 29:45Andrew Santino?

  I'm saying, Parry.

• 29:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:47Andrew Santino?

  She likes trains, Parry.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:49Andrew Santino?

  I love her.

• 29:50Bobby Lee?

  I love her, yeah.

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  So what, are you, you're interested in chicks or no?

• 29:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, anything.

• 29:55Andrew Santino?

  No, you're open.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Mm.

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  But what, do you, you're leaning towards girls now?

• 30:00Speaker 05

  Eh, no, just both.

• 30:03Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  But I wanna try BBC too.

• 30:05Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 30:06Bobby Lee?

  What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?

• 30:08Andrew Santino?

  Big Black Cock?

• 30:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:10Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, yes.

• 30:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, attention all BBCs, B B B B, B B B B B.

• 30:18Andrew Santino?

  There it is, that's good.

• 30:19Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 30:20Andrew Santino?

  Send in your, uh, don't send in your penis, that's disgusting.

• 30:23Bobby Lee?

  That's disgusting.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  Sending your, send in your, uh, what?

• 30:26Speaker 04

  A video?

• 30:27Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 30:28Andrew Santino?

  No, no, cuz they'll do penis.

• 30:30Speaker 05

  Like measurements?

• 30:31Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 30:32Bobby Lee?

  No, your credit rating.

• 30:33Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 30:35Bobby Lee?

  Your credit rating.

• 30:36Andrew Santino?

  Send them what kinda car you drive. You drive a Challenger or a Charger? Uh, at Carlos in the booth at gmail dot com. Let's see if you can get some chocolate love down here to Cinnamon Central.

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  So, when we're at the Renaissance Suns Fair, right, we ran into a couple of little Asian girls. They're in their thirties, but they're like, smaller.

• 30:54Andrew Santino?

  Forever girls.

• 30:55Bobby Lee?

  And we were eating and stuff like that, and then my friend goes. Yeah, they're going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:01Andrew Santino?

  Yum, yum. Look at that, does Brad Williams-

• 31:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop, dude. And then, and then, they look like, you know, um, librarians or whatever, or, you know what I mean? Or they, or like dental, uh, assistants.

• 31:14Andrew Santino?

  Dental assistants, yeah.

• 31:16Bobby Lee?

  And then my friend goes, "Oh, they're the two biggest OnlyFans." So then I immediately go, "What's their OnlyFans?"

• 31:21Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean? There's two little people?

• 31:22Bobby Lee?

  No, they're not dwarves, but they're just smaller Asians that look cute and look like engineers-

• 31:28Andrew Santino?

  And they're famous OnlyFans?

• 31:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And so then I frantically, you know what I mean, they're across from me, I'm trying to get their OnlyFans put-

• 31:33Andrew Santino?

  Where are they? What's her name?

• 31:34Bobby Lee?

  Right? I'm not gonna say, but my point is, is that-

• 31:36Andrew Santino?

  Please.

• 31:36Bobby Lee?

  And ooh la la, it was nice, nice, nice. You never can tell, you never can tell. That's my thing.

• 31:41Andrew Santino?

  Are you gonna do apps now? You never did the apps.

• 31:45Bobby Lee?

  Like Tinder?

• 31:45Speaker 05

  Oh, like, no.

• 31:47Andrew Santino?

  Inch Tinder, Raya.

• 31:49Bobby Lee?

  Try it.

• 31:50Andrew Santino?

  Raya's yours, right? That's what you're on?

• 31:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you can get it probably, right, but I don't like the guys on Raya. To go, get on, you know, cause it's badass flat.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  Does your generation not do the apps?

• 32:00Speaker 05

  They do, but, like, all the guys, they're just wanna fuck.

• 32:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I think you're asexual, is that what it is?

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  No, but I mean, like, isn't that what all the apps are? Am I crazy?

• 32:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Fancy, don't-

• 32:11Speaker 05

  That's why I don't wanna go there.

• 32:12Andrew Santino?

  You don't know. Fancy, you have no- She's looking for love.

• 32:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Andrew Santino?

  You were never on the apps, right? You met your wife in where? At a bar. What bar? The Dodgers, uh, bar. The Dodgers bar? Do you, uh, do you mean the shortstop? Yep. Are you fucking kidding me? No. You met your wife at the shortstop on Sunset? Uh-huh.

• 32:34Bobby Lee?

  When, when you go in for a move-

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  Jules, shut up, honestly.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  You're the one that's drunk!

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 32:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  And you know, you know, I'm, I'm drunk on Easter, and let me tell you something. I'm hurt.

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, let's hear it.

• 32:48Andrew Santino?

  Can I be honest?

• 32:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:49Andrew Santino?

  I'm hurt.

• 32:50Bobby Lee?

  Tell us, your, your hurt pain?

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  Because Jules was our-

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  She was one of the pillars of this show.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  Uh-huh.

• 32:58Andrew Santino?

  And she went away. And she doesn't give a fuck about us anymore.

• 33:01Bobby Lee?

  Dude, you're a fucking asshole right now, dude.

• 33:03Andrew Santino?

  You don't care about us anymore.

• 33:04Speaker 05

  I do!

• 33:06Andrew Santino?

  No, you don't.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  I swear.

• 33:07Andrew Santino?

  No, you clean up the dog poop and you don't care.

• 33:11Bobby Lee?

  You know, your behavior last night was uncalled for.

• 33:13Andrew Santino?

  What did I do?

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  We were doing a show at the Ice House. Usually we switch, but you told me to close and then you're like, oh, I don't-

• 33:19Andrew Santino?

  Everybody wants the king to close, am I right?

• 33:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then he goes, "I have nothing," and then he goes up there and he destroys.

• 33:26Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  With crowd work.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 33:28Bobby Lee?

  And I got buried both sides.

• 33:29Andrew Santino?

  There was Rife in it.

• 33:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Andrew Santino?

  There was Matt Rife in it.

• 33:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:33Andrew Santino?

  My guy, Dr. Drew.

• 33:34Bobby Lee?

  Dr. Drew.

• 33:34Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Drew came and saw us, he diagnosed us.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:38Andrew Santino?

  He gave us a breakdown. This motherfucker can diagnose you live.

• 33:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's a good guy, though.

• 33:44Andrew Santino?

  I gotta tell you, Bob is ready to film.

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  I'm not ready to film.

• 33:48Andrew Santino?

  Yes, you are. Bobby's Hour is so funny, and I've seen it. For two years, we were on the road.

• 33:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 33:54Andrew Santino?

  And now he's been doing his thing, and I'm not kidding. You're so ready, it's crazy. It's so funny. It's funny to watch someone do it. No, I'm not, I'm not kidding.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm still not done, man.

• 34:05Andrew Santino?

  No, he's-

• 34:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I need another 20 and I'm good.

• 34:07Andrew Santino?

  He's ready to rock.

• 34:08Bobby Lee?

  Another 20, but it's gonna be-

• 34:10Andrew Santino?

  And we were there with Kevin Nealon last night, Nealon, one of the greatest of all time.

• 34:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's a liar.

• 34:14Andrew Santino?

  Passively-

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  He's a liar.

• 34:15Andrew Santino?

  What'd he do?

• 34:17Bobby Lee?

  He does, "Hey Kevin, did you go up?" And he goes, "Yeah, I did, but he didn't."

• 34:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, not yet.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  You can't get anything truthful from him.

• 34:23Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 34:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:25Andrew Santino?

  Would you bring a date to the Ice House? Cause you bring dates to the store.

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  I think it's, you know what?

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  Home territory is different, though. That's a home game.

• 34:32Bobby Lee?

  This new Ice House, I hated at first.

• 34:34Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 34:36Bobby Lee?

  I thought they treated me poorly.

• 34:38Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 34:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then I complained about it on, I think, this podcast.

• 34:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 34:43Bobby Lee?

  And then Johnny Buzz called me.

• 34:46Andrew Santino?

  And said, "Dude."

• 34:47Bobby Lee?

  He goes, "Give us another chance."

• 34:48Andrew Santino?

  You did.

• 34:49Bobby Lee?

  And then they switched it up, and they treat all of us better now.

• 34:51Andrew Santino?

  100%.

• 34:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's nice to go.

• 34:54Andrew Santino?

  You feel better when you go down there?

• 34:56Bobby Lee?

  I like the rooms.

• 34:57Andrew Santino?

  I love them.

• 34:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Andrew Santino?

  I will say, I miss the old Ice House. For people that don't know, it was all Mexican.

• 35:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  Give it to me.

• 35:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I love Mexicans.

• 35:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what are they? I love Mexicans. And it was more Mexican. It's still some, but I liked when it was all Mexican.

• 35:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:16Andrew Santino?

  I love Mexicans.

• 35:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:18Andrew Santino?

  They're just great people. They're just, I don't know, it's different now. Am I wrong? Please, come on.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  Mexicans-

• 35:25Andrew Santino?

  No, no, the room now. Oh, you don't like Mexicans?

• 35:28Bobby Lee?

  I love them.

• 35:30Bobby Lee?

  I don't know that much.

• 35:30Andrew Santino?

  No, no, seriously, you don't like them?

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  I love them.

• 35:32Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Just a couple of Mexicans today, they had very yellow teeth, but those are just an observation.

• 35:40Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 35:41Bobby Lee?

  Because next to the Renaissance Fair is a park and it's Easter, right? So you know, you got a guy, you know what I mean? You know, wearing like a, he's got a mini moped. And he's got like a Spider-Man hat on.

• 35:51Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:52Bobby Lee?

  Hey, puto, get out of the way, you know what I mean? That kind of thing, you know what I mean?

• 35:55Andrew Santino?

  Wover, puto?

• 35:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's all those, you want to go, you go from the Renaissance Fair to like, you know, people, you know, with real knives, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? And like, hey, puto, you know what I mean? It was like a completely different, like if there was a war, they would win.

• 36:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sure.

• 36:09Bobby Lee?

  Between the Renaissance Fair.

• 36:10Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 36:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would totally win. But, you know, uh, yeah, it's good. I love it.

• 36:14Andrew Santino?

  Where was the Renaissance Fair?

• 36:15Bobby Lee?

  In Pa- Pasadena.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  But by the bowl or something?

• 36:19Bobby Lee?

  No, it's like far. I, it was a little farther than Pasadena, actually. But it was.

• 36:23Andrew Santino?

  What are we talking? Where is that? No, Carlos, don't.

• 36:27Bobby Lee?

  It's, it's that, that whole green thing?

• 36:29Speaker 06

  Irwindale.

• 36:30Bobby Lee?

  See that whole green thing right there?

• 36:31Speaker 06

  By Azusa.

• 36:32Bobby Lee?

  Can you zoom in?

• 36:33Andrew Santino?

  Buddy, that's so far.

• 36:34Bobby Lee?

  Where the lake is.

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 36:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's exact, because the lake is a part of it.

• 36:37Andrew Santino?

  Not Pasadena, dude. Zoom out. That's fucking, what is that called?

• 36:41Speaker 06

  It's by Azusa.

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  Irwindale. That's so far away.

• 36:43Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty far, yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 06

  It's Pasadena.

• 36:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Pasadena is 20 miles west. So were you well received?

• 36:51Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, dude?

• 36:53Andrew Santino?

  Were people excited to see Bobby Lee at the Renaissance Fair?

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  You know, dude.

• 36:58Bobby Lee?

  It's funny, when I.

• 36:58Andrew Santino?

  Look on, please.

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  When I was with my group, no one really said anything, but, but I did voyages on my own and that's when it started happening.

• 37:06Andrew Santino?

  So you broke, you broke off from the group?

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  I had to break up from the group to do my little shopping.

• 37:11Andrew Santino?

  Do you have to talk to people about it? Do they have to say, let's, before we dismantle, we must organize? It, it feels like they're plotting for war every time, though, there.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  No, yeah. Oh, no, they go, we'll go where the, you know, I mean, the, the mini cows are, meet us back there.

• 37:24Andrew Santino?

  Mini cows?

• 37:25Bobby Lee?

  It's a petting zoo.

• 37:25Andrew Santino?

  Calfs?

• 37:26Bobby Lee?

  Little calves, yeah.

• 37:27Andrew Santino?

  Really? Did you pet?

• 37:29Bobby Lee?

  I sure did.

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  You did?

• 37:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  Are there games?

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so it says axe throwing, spear throwing, um, bow and arrow, right? With, you know what I mean? I didn't do any of those activities.

• 37:41Andrew Santino?

  You didn't want to try one of them?

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

  If there was one.

• 37:44Bobby Lee?

  I saw my group do the spears and they were just so bad.

• 37:46Andrew Santino?

  Your group?

• 37:47Bobby Lee?

  And I was ripping on them. I go, oh my God, what do you have, carpal tunnel? I was just like making fun of them.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  If you could do one, what would you do?

• 37:54Bobby Lee?

  Bow and arrow, I think, because Koreans are good at that.

• 37:56Andrew Santino?

  Are they?

• 37:56Bobby Lee?

  We win the gold every time.

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  The guy, the guy from the Olympics.

• 37:58Bobby Lee?

  And women.

• 37:59Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 38:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. We win every time in the Olympics.

• 38:01Andrew Santino?

  Let me see you pose.

• 38:05Andrew Santino?

  That's a bone era if I've ever seen one.

• 38:06Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not done dude.

• 38:07Andrew Santino?

  No, it looks good.

• 38:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:10Andrew Santino?

  Oh. Target, the pointer. Oh, go.

• 38:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:14Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 38:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right.

• 38:15Andrew Santino?

  There it is. That's the, that's the South Korean woman. She won the gold in the Olympics, right?

• 38:19Bobby Lee?

  Amazing, these people.

• 38:20Andrew Santino?

  What's her name?

• 38:20Speaker 06

  Third gold medal. An San Won.

• 38:23Andrew Santino?

  An San Won. That's her third gold medal.

• 38:26Speaker 06

  An San.

• 38:26Andrew Santino?

  Damn dude, that's gotta be so gangster.

• 38:28Bobby Lee?

  I mean, have you ever seen the Splash Brothers?

• 38:30Andrew Santino?

  Steph Curry.

• 38:31Bobby Lee?

  No, they're, no, they're Filipino guys diving and they're trying to qualify for something.

• 38:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh, and they, yeah, I can't, they can't. I've seen them.

• 38:38Bobby Lee?

  I mean.

• 38:39Andrew Santino?

  Play it. This guy's my guy.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  The guy, the fourth one.

• 38:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, it's all of them, really.

• 38:49Andrew Santino?

  Gan Emo Shin. Okay, good takeoff. Not gonna make it.

• 38:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god. By the way.

• 38:58Bobby Lee?

  The second guy's worse.

• 38:59Andrew Santino?

  When they pause it.

• 39:03Andrew Santino?

  Jesus.

• 39:03Bobby Lee?

  Jesus Christ.

• 39:05Andrew Santino?

  Look at his face.

• 39:05Bobby Lee?

  Look at his form. Look at his form. Right on his back. That's pretty good. No high five.

• 39:11Andrew Santino?

  Why would you high five?

• 39:13Bobby Lee?

  No high five, alright? If he high five, I'll move my hand.

• 39:17Andrew Santino?

  Alright, how about the John David?

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  I didn't see it.

• 39:22Andrew Santino?

  Biyo yo.

• 39:23Bobby Lee?

  Here we go.

• 39:23Andrew Santino?

  Biyo yo.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  Let's see if this guy.

• 39:25Andrew Santino?

  John David Biyo yo.

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  Try not to laugh, guys.

• 39:27Andrew Santino?

  Just thinking about his, the nurse gig right after this. Oh no. Yes, sir. Jesus.

• 39:35Bobby Lee?

  He does this, but he lands on his feet. It's incredible.

• 39:39Andrew Santino?

  I mean, he's like talking in pain. Look at his face. Oh my god. How are they so bad? How are they so?

• 39:47Bobby Lee?

  How are they? You're surrounded by water! The Philippines are surrounded by water. You have cliffs. How are they that bad?

• 39:54Speaker 03

  I don't know!

• 39:55Bobby Lee?

  Uh, yeah, they're bad. Look at his face, dude.

• 39:59Andrew Santino?

  Look at that.

• 39:59Bobby Lee?

  He took a shit mid-air, dude. Look at him. Oh my god. Look at him. His whole life's slushing.

• 40:07Andrew Santino?

  Delete Me! Delete Me makes it easy, quick, and safe to remove your personal data online at a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everyone vulnerable. I feel vulnerable, don't you?

• 40:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my personal information is my personal information.

• 40:20Andrew Santino?

  That's why it's personal, pal.

• 40:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:22Andrew Santino?

  All right, more and more online partisans and nefarious actors will find this data and use it to target political rivals, civil servants, and even outspoken citizens posting their opinions online. I gotta tell ya, bots are out there, scammers are out there, people calling you from other parts of the world asking you to save a princess, which I donated money to, I shouldn't have done it.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:42Andrew Santino?

  But now with Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy for the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited.

• 40:47Bobby Lee?

  Take control of your data, folks, and keep your private life private by signing up to Delete Me, now at a special discount for our listeners.

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  Today, you can get 20% off your Delete Me plan by texting BADFRIENDS to 64000. The only way to get 20% off is to text BADFRIENDS to 64000.

• 41:08Bobby Lee?

  That's BADFRIENDS to 64000. Message and data rates may apply.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City, introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine-leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City, introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine-leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  A lot of Filipinos don't know how to swim.

• 42:18Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 42:18Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 42:19Speaker 05

  Cause they don't go to the-

• 42:21Andrew Santino?

  No, but seriously, why though?

• 42:22Bobby Lee?

  It's an island!

• 42:22Andrew Santino?

  It's an island.

• 42:23Speaker 05

  Well, some-

• 42:24Andrew Santino?

  Islands, it's a chain of islands.

• 42:26Bobby Lee?

  It's a chain of islands!

• 42:27Speaker 05

  Some Filipinos-

• 42:28Bobby Lee?

  It's not Nebraska!

• 42:29Speaker 05

  Some Filipinos don't wanna get dark. They don't bother going to the ocean.

• 42:34Andrew Santino?

  In the sun.

• 42:35Bobby Lee?

  In the sun, I see.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay, but do you-

• 42:37Andrew Santino?

  Did you ever use sunscreen as a kid? That was not a thing.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  No.

• 42:41Andrew Santino?

  That's our thing. That's my thing.

• 42:43Bobby Lee?

  But they won gold in weightlifting.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  Oh, weightlifting.

• 42:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:49Andrew Santino?

  Did they?

• 42:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, female weightlifting. And then I think Duterte bought her like a mansion or something.

• 42:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:56Andrew Santino?

  So here you are, Jules.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:58Andrew Santino?

  Young, single, successful, fresh out of college. What's the next move for you?

• 43:04Speaker 05

  Um...

• 43:05Bobby Lee?

  Citizenship.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:07Andrew Santino?

  That's, it's him on the card?

• 43:09Bobby Lee?

  That's incredible.

• 43:09Andrew Santino?

  We should buy that.

• 43:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:12Andrew Santino?

  Can we scratch all our money together to do that? Look at how sick that looks. You got the gold card.

• 43:20Speaker 06

  Do you really wanna be a citizen here? Don't you like leaving?

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  She wants to live here forever.

• 43:25Speaker 05

  I like staying here, but I don't get why it's so hard to stay here.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean?

• 43:30Speaker 06

  It's the best country in the world.

• 43:31Andrew Santino?

  We get it, man, you're from Texas.

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  We get it, dude.

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  What is it?

• 43:39Speaker 05

  Cause in the Philippines, there's so many white people, white old people.

• 43:44Andrew Santino?

  Mm.

• 43:45Speaker 05

  That just stays there for a long time, but then here, I can't stay for a long time.

• 43:49Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 43:50Andrew Santino?

  Right, it's unfair.

• 43:51Bobby Lee?

  It's unfair.

• 43:52Andrew Santino?

  So the whites get to come and do whatever they want, and you can't come here and do whatever you want, right?

• 43:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  Well, what's the Philippines' main export?

• 44:00Speaker 05

  Coconut.

• 44:05Bobby Lee?

  Right, some other fruit.

• 44:06Andrew Santino?

  The Philippines' main export's electronic products, particularly integrated circuits, semiconductors.

• 44:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 44:14Andrew Santino?

  Okay, and coconut oil.

• 44:15Bobby Lee?

  Coconut oil.

• 44:16Andrew Santino?

  Copper, nickel, gold.

• 44:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, office machine parts, that's great.

• 44:19Andrew Santino?

  Yep, printers, you want to print something?

• 44:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yes, so- I'll probably-

• 44:24Andrew Santino?

  Do you have a document?

• 44:25Bobby Lee?

  Outside companies set up factories there, right?

• 44:28Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 44:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  For sure. So what's gonna, what's gonna happen to you now that you're single? Are you gonna move back? Cause you can't stay here, we don't want you here.

• 44:35Speaker 05

  No, I wanna stay here!

• 44:37Andrew Santino?

  No, not with Trump, you can't. Guys, tell her. You can't stay.

• 44:41Speaker 06

  You need to join OnlyFans to survive.

• 44:43Bobby Lee?

  No, shut the fuck up, man.

• 44:44Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, you're a pig.

• 44:45Bobby Lee?

  You're a pig, dude.

• 44:46Speaker 06

  Kill it.

• 44:47Bobby Lee?

  She's our daughter.

• 44:47Speaker 06

  Okay, you're okay.

• 44:48Speaker 05

  Is there a way to like prove? That like I'm okay, I'm an okay Filipino?

• 44:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, there is ways to do it.

• 44:57Andrew Santino?

  There's a test, isn't there a test online?

• 44:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's an okay Filipino test and we have it memorized.

• 45:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we have it.

• 45:01Bobby Lee?

  Andrew and I have it memorized.

• 45:03Andrew Santino?

  Alright, go ahead.

• 45:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay, how fast can you climb a tree?

• 45:06Speaker 05

  Like, really fast.

• 45:08Bobby Lee?

  Like, alright.

• 45:10Speaker 05

  Like a minute.

• 45:10Bobby Lee?

  A twenty, a twenty foot tree, right? A palm tree, how fast can you climb that?

• 45:15Andrew Santino?

  Go.

• 45:15Speaker 05

  Like, two minutes.

• 45:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh no, there's poop, there's poop right there, what do you do with it?

• 45:20Speaker 05

  You eat it.

• 45:20Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 45:22Bobby Lee?

  That's right, right, right.

• 45:23Andrew Santino?

  That's two for two.

• 45:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. A dwarf with two knives are attacking you, but from the sky, a lady with two knives is attacking you, what do you do? What do you do?

• 45:30Speaker 05

  You stab the dwarf.

• 45:32Bobby Lee?

  Yes, that's the right cra- yes?

• 45:35Speaker 05

  And then?

• 45:36Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  You just say hi to the dwarf.

• 45:38Bobby Lee?

  Yes, that's how you do it, dude. Because she fell off a building.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 45:43Bobby Lee?

  She was cooking something on the fifteenth floor and she fell off.

• 45:46Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:47Andrew Santino?

  Here comes someone in the village. I, Rudy, I'm your, I'm your great, great, great, great, great aunt, and you know me, do you remember me, I need money, what do you do?

• 45:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  Shut the fuck up.

• 45:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay, right. It's three in the morning, you hear a noise, you go outside, right? And you see a half Filipino man, half wolf. Right, and half chicken.

• 46:10Speaker 06

  So, three halves?

• 46:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, three halves.

• 46:12Andrew Santino?

  Everybody has three halves.

• 46:13Bobby Lee?

  Everyone has three halves, right? What do you do?

• 46:16Speaker 05

  You kill it and you roast it and you eat it?

• 46:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What else do you do?

• 46:20Andrew Santino?

  And?

• 46:22Speaker 05

  You?

• 46:24Andrew Santino?

  You?

• 46:25Speaker 05

  You fuck it?

• 46:26Andrew Santino?

  You fuck it.

• 46:28Bobby Lee?

  You fuck the human part.

• 46:29Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:30Bobby Lee?

  That's very good. You eat the fucking chicken and the fucking wolf part.

• 46:34Andrew Santino?

  Pretty easy.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  Very easy. If you have a baby. Right, it is a wolf baby.

• 46:40Andrew Santino?

  That's a wolf baby.

• 46:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, with hair on the face. You know, like Barnum and Bailey.

• 46:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what a circus.

• 46:46Bobby Lee?

  What? It's a circus, right?

• 46:47Andrew Santino?

  What a circus.

• 46:47Bobby Lee?

  What do you do?

• 46:53Speaker 05

  You eat it because it's an animal?

• 46:54Bobby Lee?

  No, no, that's your kid! No, that's wrong!

• 46:56Andrew Santino?

  Right, no. Praying mantises do that?

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  No! Propecia!

• 47:01Speaker 05

  What is that?

• 47:02Andrew Santino?

  You give it a hair medication.

• 47:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, it make, that helps hair grow, right? Fuck, I got it wrong. I think, yeah.

• 47:10Andrew Santino?

  So do you wanna, I'm being genuine. Do you wanna get back on, into the dating scene, or no?

• 47:15Speaker 05

  Not right now.

• 47:16Andrew Santino?

  You're, yeah, the wounds are too fresh.

• 47:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:20Andrew Santino?

  But when you do get back out, you wanna only date women, huh?

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Not only, but...

• 47:24Andrew Santino?

  What kind of woman do you want, though? Do you want like a girly girl, or like a...

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Girly girl.

• 47:29Andrew Santino?

  Girly girl. Right. Like, who's your, who's your crush?

• 47:34Speaker 05

  My crush?

• 47:34Andrew Santino?

  Like, what female famous person is your crush?

• 47:38Speaker 05

  Girl crush?

• 47:39Andrew Santino?

  Is it like, a girly girl, so it's gotta be like, is it like a Margot Robbie?

• 47:43Speaker 05

  No. Like, the girl from The Last of Us that plays Dina?

• 47:47Andrew Santino?

  Who's that?

• 47:49Bobby Lee?

  Look that up.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  She's so pretty.

• 47:50Bobby Lee?

  Isabella Marceau?

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  Shut up, fancy with the bullshit, with the fucking accent. Isabella Marceau?

• 47:56Speaker 05

  Like, she's so pretty.

• 47:58Andrew Santino?

  She is. But is that your style? That's your type? That's what you're looking for?

• 48:01Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  Not white.

• 48:04Speaker 05

  Not white.

• 48:04Andrew Santino?

  Alright, fans, we get it.

• 48:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you have a particular, um, fear of the white.

• 48:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what is your fear of the white?

• 48:12Bobby Lee?

  You have the fear of the white. What is it?

• 48:14Speaker 05

  Well, I tried white dick, and I told you guys that that was too translucent.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like...

• 48:23Bobby Lee?

  I understand. You wanna see everything in there, right?

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 48:27Bobby Lee?

  You wanna see all the veins, how the inner workings work.

• 48:29Andrew Santino?

  You wanna see how the sausage is made. Just wanna see the sausage.

• 48:32Bobby Lee?

  You just wanna cover, you know?

• 48:33Andrew Santino?

  So, so now, with women, your favorite kind of woman is like that? Tan, small?

• 48:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:41Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 48:42Bobby Lee?

  No, let me ask you something. Are you still buzzed?

• 48:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, I'm buzzing.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  Can you tell?

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:47Andrew Santino?

  Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Carlos. Happy birthday to you.

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  Yay.

• 49:10Speaker 06

  Thanks, y'all.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  How old are you, Carlos?

• 49:13Speaker 06

  Thirty-eight.

• 49:14Bobby Lee?

  Damn.

• 49:15Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 49:17Andrew Santino?

  What's in there? Is that a sweet green salad?

• 49:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, the basic salad.

• 49:21Andrew Santino?

  Damn, dude. That's so fucking sad. That's your cake?

• 49:26Speaker 06

  Oh, I mean-

• 49:27Andrew Santino?

  Kale?

• 49:28Speaker 06

  On my actual birthday was sadder. I played the Indiana Jones game and just hung out with my dog.

• 49:33Andrew Santino?

  Who texted you on your birthday?

• 49:35Speaker 06

  You and Bob.

• 49:36Andrew Santino?

  He did?

• 49:37Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:38Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I did.

• 49:38Andrew Santino?

  Did he?

• 49:39Speaker 06

  He really did.

• 49:39Bobby Lee?

  I really did.

• 49:40Andrew Santino?

  Did anybody else?

• 49:42Speaker 06

  Mccone called me this morning.

• 49:44Andrew Santino?

  Did fans?

• 49:45Speaker 06

  Fancy didn't.

• 49:47Andrew Santino?

  Interesting, dude.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  Fancy texted me and said, "Is Carlos's birthday today?" I said, "It was yesterday."

• 49:52Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead. Go ahead, fuckhead.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  I knew it was around 4:20.

• 49:56Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, you knew it was around?

• 49:58Speaker 04

  His favorite holiday.

• 50:00Andrew Santino?

  So you didn't know his birthday and you just didn't wish him happy birthday?

• 50:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:06Bobby Lee?

  Wow, dude.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  You have anything to say for yourself?

• 50:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:09Andrew Santino?

  This is a crew. This is a crew.

• 50:11Speaker 06

  I know.

• 50:11Bobby Lee?

  They disgraced it.

• 50:12Speaker 06

  Jet ski hit me up.

• 50:14Andrew Santino?

  Did she?

• 50:15Speaker 06

  She didn't.

• 50:16Andrew Santino?

  Nice try.

• 50:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, nice try.

• 50:18Andrew Santino?

  All about herself.

• 50:19Speaker 05

  Related happy birthday.

• 50:20Speaker 06

  Thanks.

• 50:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, fuck off. That doesn't count.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  Doesn't count. So we're playing London. Who's going?

• 50:25Andrew Santino?

  Who didn't text you for your birthday that hurt you the most, for real? Like, who didn't acknowledge your birthday that actually bothered you?

• 50:32Speaker 06

  Oh, for real, for real?

• 50:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because as we get older, right, Bob?

• 50:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 50:37Andrew Santino?

  As we get older-

• 50:38Speaker 04

  What are you on, Facebook?

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  No, because all the restaurants are closed. I'm hungry, so I'm ordering it to get delivered to my house.

• 50:44Andrew Santino?

  You're waiting until now? We had all night to order food. Literally all night. It's nine o'clock. It's nine-thirty.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but after this podcast, I'm gonna go straight home. It'll be ready for me.

• 50:54Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 50:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay. What's your problem, dude? Continue with your fucking-

• 50:59Andrew Santino?

  You're my problem, bud.

• 51:00Bobby Lee?

  No, no, bud. And that's a strong word right now, bud. We're not at bud level. You're acting a little silly right now, dude.

• 51:11Andrew Santino?

  Carlos.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  Who didn't text you that bothered you the most?

• 51:15Speaker 06

  Hmm, probably exes. Like, my ex-wife didn't hit me up.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  Why, why, wait, wait, why?

• 51:21Bobby Lee?

  Why would she?

• 51:22Andrew Santino?

  Why would your ex-wife hit you up?

• 51:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, just to acknowledge it. And then the girl I dated after who had a boyfriend, she didn't hit me up either, because she's engaged now.

• 51:30Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, bud.

• 51:32Speaker 06

  And then the other girl also didn't.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, outside of exes, because that women, that's tough.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Any girl texted you?

• 51:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, a couple of girls hit me up.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Say?

• 51:41Speaker 06

  Hanny.

• 51:43Andrew Santino?

  Hanny?

• 51:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's hot.

• 51:44Bobby Lee?

  Who's Hanny?

• 51:45Speaker 06

  Hanny from Miami.

• 51:46Andrew Santino?

  What guy, what buddy, that, what guy friend that your friend, close with, didn't hit you on your birthday that bothers you?

• 51:53Speaker 06

  I think the real answer is on dress, but I can't really get mad at on dress. It's this weird thing.

• 51:58Andrew Santino?

  Did Benji text you?

• 51:59Bobby Lee?

  I brought you pizza.

• 52:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, he brought me pizza.

• 52:01Bobby Lee?

  Let me ask you something.

• 52:02Andrew Santino?

  Did Benji text you?

• 52:03Speaker 06

  Benji did not.

• 52:03Bobby Lee?

  Was it shocking when I texted you?

• 52:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, because we had just gotten in a big fight last week.

• 52:08Speaker 05

  You guys fought?

• 52:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, man, we didn't fight for weeks.

• 52:11Andrew Santino?

  It's been going on.

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  It's been going on for a while.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  He never had texted me.

• 52:14Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 52:15Speaker 04

  You never texted me. For what? For anything.

• 52:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 52:21Bobby Lee?

  I text you all the time. What the fuck you talking?

• 52:23Andrew Santino?

  Whenever I call fancy.

• 52:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  When he picks up, I go, this is a bad idea.

• 52:28Bobby Lee?

  I know, me too.

• 52:29Andrew Santino?

  Hey, Andrew? I'm like, never mind, goodbye.

• 52:31Bobby Lee?

  Also, there's things going on in the background, like, where are you, in a fucking airplane?

• 52:35Andrew Santino?

  The guy, the guy works.

• 52:36Bobby Lee?

  There's like sound, like.

• 52:38Andrew Santino?

  He lives in a factory.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  Like, what the fuck are you doing over there, dude?

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. He lives in a factory.

• 52:43Bobby Lee?

  Or a baby, ahhhh. You know, what are you doing over there, dude?

• 52:48Andrew Santino?

  And the baby's like, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo. I gotta tell you, dude, I don't buy this bullshit. You and the baby and the wife, that's not real. That's not real, dude.

• 52:59Bobby Lee?

  It's impossible that she likes you.

• 53:01Andrew Santino?

  Impossible.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Who, the baby or the wife?

• 53:04Andrew Santino?

  Both.

• 53:04Bobby Lee?

  Both, dude, I think, I think it's an impossibility.

• 53:06Andrew Santino?

  So, honestly, Carlos.

• 53:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:08Andrew Santino?

  A few people didn't text you, and you're not, and it's okay, you don't have to call them out, but there's a few people that didn't text you that it bothers you.

• 53:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, also, that same person that didn't text me is gonna have a baby, and they didn't tell me, and I was.

• 53:20Andrew Santino?

  Seriously?

• 53:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:21Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 53:22Speaker 06

  And I was like, oh, they don't want to tell me.

• 53:23Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit. Does that fuck you up?

• 53:26Speaker 06

  It makes me feel like I'm being separated from my friends and I'm drifting in space.

• 53:30Andrew Santino?

  Well, let me tell you something, and I'm being honest, can I be real?

• 53:34Bobby Lee?

  Let's get real for once, yeah.

• 53:36Andrew Santino?

  A lot of my friends have kids. There's a thing that happens when you don't have kids. Where you're not invited, and honestly, I get it. I get it. You don't want to be invited. Dude, shut the fuck up. Honestly, honestly, shut the fuck up.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  But did Sebastian ever invite you to his little kid things?

• 53:54Andrew Santino?

  No, but that would never be. We're not close like that.

• 53:56Bobby Lee?

  I used to go there.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  We're not close like that.

• 53:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  But I'm saying like, friends of mine outside of the business, they have kids and they feel weird not inviting us, and I understand. But there's also a moment of like, like today, like Easter did it, Easter Sunday today. I'll come over, I'll come over and do the thing.

• 54:13Bobby Lee?

  Like do what? Hunt?

• 54:15Andrew Santino?

  I want to hunt for eggs.

• 54:18Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing, dude?

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  For eggs.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  What is this, Hunger Games?

• 54:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:21Bobby Lee?

  I'll go hunt for kids.

• 54:23Andrew Santino?

  I'll go have an egg hunt.

• 54:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:24Andrew Santino?

  I'm a fun guy.

• 54:25Bobby Lee?

  Not really.

• 54:26Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 54:29Bobby Lee?

  I mean, there's a thing about-

• 54:31Andrew Santino?

  I'll do it.

• 54:31Bobby Lee?

  I know, but in your face, you crink, your eyes crinkle, right? You do smile, but the cheeks is rage. Have you noticed that?

• 54:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  You'll go like this, right?

• 54:42Andrew Santino?

  No, but I'm sorry, I'm a good uncle, I'm a great uncle, but it's like, I'll come over and do the egg thing. I think people feel bad about inviting us because they're like, you don't have kids, we don't invite you.

• 54:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:51Andrew Santino?

  And it feels weird. You, you don't get invited, well, you don't get invited.

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  Or, you know what I hate too, is when comics go, I go, you got married? And they go, yeah, like, last year. How many people came? What? Like 500? And I go, I've helped you. You know what I mean?

• 55:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're shocked.

• 55:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm shocked. Like, I, dude, I helped your career.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  I'm because, yeah, it's because of me.

• 55:12Bobby Lee?

  And I wouldn't go, but I want the invitation. You know what I mean? Cordially invite you, whatever it says.

• 55:20Andrew Santino?

  Why do you want the invitation? You're never gonna go.

• 55:23Bobby Lee?

  I've gone to a couple.

• 55:24Andrew Santino?

  Whose wedding do you go to?

• 55:25Bobby Lee?

  Sebastian Moscago and Dr. Ken Jeong.

• 55:28Speaker 05

  I have a question.

• 55:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 05

  Jazz it up. Do you guys ever get ingrown hairs in your balls?

• 55:36Andrew Santino?

  Can I tell you something that's crazy? This is nuts. I lotion my nuts every day now. Because I have eczema. You know?

• 55:46Speaker 05

  In your ball, like balls?

• 55:48Andrew Santino?

  Wait, check this out.

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  You really have eczema?

• 55:49Andrew Santino?

  Dude, check this out. I have eczema all over my body.

• 55:54Andrew Santino?

  No, it's not stinky. It's just dry skin.

• 55:56Bobby Lee?

  It's not good, dude. Oh my god.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  Okay dude. It's dry skin.

• 56:00Bobby Lee?

  It's disgusting dude. It's what fucking Jeremiah Walkings gets.

• 56:04Andrew Santino?

  I had eczema.

• 56:05Bobby Lee?

  All over his body.

• 56:05Andrew Santino?

  I had eczema, this is wild. I had eczema all over my body one time. Dry skin. I got eczema on my balls. And the doctor said...

• 56:17Andrew Santino?

  And the doctor was like, "Just fucking lotion up your balls."

• 56:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah dude.

• 56:20Andrew Santino?

  But I do lotion my balls. I lotion my balls every day.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:24Andrew Santino?

  Now I...

• 56:25Bobby Lee?

  But...

• 56:26Andrew Santino?

  Over lotion my balls.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have pores on my balls that... You know what I mean?

• 56:30Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm serious, I over lotion my balls now.

• 56:31Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 56:32Andrew Santino?

  Do you guys put lotion on your nuts? Never.

• 56:35Bobby Lee?

  Dude, your butthole is so ugly.

• 56:36Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 56:37Bobby Lee?

  It's just one of the ugliest buttholes I've ever seen.

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  Look who's talking.

• 56:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, two. Part two is my favorite one.

• 56:42Andrew Santino?

  Look who's talking, part two. Wait, why do you ask that?

• 56:46Speaker 05

  Because I... I just got my first ingrown. And it's like a big cyst.

• 56:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 56:52Speaker 05

  And it's so painful.

• 56:53Andrew Santino?

  On your concito? Oh yeah.

• 56:56Bobby Lee?

  Don't call that that.

• 56:57Andrew Santino?

  What is that?

• 56:58Bobby Lee?

  Pussy.

• 57:00Andrew Santino?

  Wait, you got an ingrown hair?

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's so painful.

• 57:03Andrew Santino?

  Gross.

• 57:04Speaker 05

  Cause I didn't exfoliate...

• 57:05Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  Once like, before your shave.

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't wanna hear about it.

• 57:10Bobby Lee?

  We don't hear it.

• 57:11Andrew Santino?

  It's disgusting, dude, that's disgusting. You know what?

• 57:15Speaker 05

  And I was looking for advice for you guys if...

• 57:17Andrew Santino?

  Okay, here's the deal. I'll tell ya, Bobby could tell ya. Bobby and I both know. The deal with ingrown hairs... You gotta use... Witch hazel. Witch hazel.

• 57:29Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 57:29Andrew Santino?

  Look this up.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:31Andrew Santino?

  Look up witch hazel. Look, for people at home. Witch hazel is a great ingredient. You can put on everything. It reduces inflammation. Right, Los? Look it up. There it is. Yup. Tux cooling pads with witch hazel.

• 57:44Speaker 06

  This looks nice.

• 57:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. It's got, uh, protects from irritation, hemorrhoids, and other problems. Tux, man.

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend. I mean, what the fuck?

• 58:13Speaker 07

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.