Cops Under the Influence! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Calling Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Brea, California. The boys are coming west, baby. We're taking the Oregon Trail out to the left coast and we're coming to see ya. Grab the squad and come on out.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you're a dirtbag, we need you there, baby. All tickets available at areyougarbage.com. See ya there.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:36H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:42H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're good to be classy.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:47H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:49H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's in the new edition. She's gonna be starting physical therapy tomorrow.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  Got her back blown out last night.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Ha, ha, ha.

• 0:59H. Foley?

  Mike Coles is coming at you from across the table. That deserved a lot more.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 1:05H. Foley?

  He is the CEO of Are You Garbage.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Dude, you are all-

• 1:07H. Foley?

  That's a killer right there.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  I laughed.

• 1:09H. Foley?

  I'm surprised Last Comic Standing's not calling me for that. I'll be in the writers' room. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman. Let me tell you right now, despite what just happened, my best pal in the whole wide world-

• 1:20Speaker 01

  You can't put that on me.

• 1:22H. Foley?

  The last guy I'd wanna have in the Fox- first guy I'd wanna have in the Fox-

• 1:24Speaker 01

  But see, you're- dude, you're all over the road today.

• 1:27H. Foley?

  First guy I'd wanna have in the Foxhole, last guy I'd want to leave the Foxhole.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  You didn't show up late to the Foxhole for being on-

• 1:33H. Foley?

  But he left me a couple of years. My good pal, Kevin James Ryan.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Hey, what up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, also full video available over there on Spotify. And I gotta be honest, I had new guy Luke look up the ticker, ticker, ticker, pull up the numbers over there, coming in across the wire-

• 1:54H. Foley?

  And checked in a minute.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  The ticker tape- Those numbers are frickin'.

• 1:58H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Woo. Big numbers over there.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  At Spotify, it's hot, all the kids like it.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Shout out to it, baby. And then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/raigarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. I'm talking up to two episodes a week, in addition to the two that we do on YouTube.

• 2:14H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Plus, you get all the episodes from the last four, five years.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Yep.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  I've taught ten.

• 2:18H. Foley?

  Hard feelings.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Couple of jillion hours worth of content over there.

• 2:21H. Foley?

  Very good stuff. And, gang, we're here for what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. And before we get started, we always like to do a little something. Like to walk the office a little bit, grab a little water at the water cooler, cruise by the old corner office. Quick cruise by. Yeah. Where Mr. Lukey resides over there. Just walk by, knock on the door, "Hey, how you doing, kid? Good to see you. Good weekend," all that kind of stuff.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:44H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? Do you have the numbers for me? What numbers? Oh, is that how it is? Is that how it is? Man, I'll put you back in the fucking mailroom. You kidding me? I don't care who your dad's golf buddies are, I'm telling you that right now. Fucking little brat. Have you bringing me my sandwiches?

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Think I'm gonna take orders from a guy half my age? I'll do it.

• 3:02H. Foley?

  Think I'm gonna take orders from a guy half my age that has way more money than me? Huh?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Keep them checks coming, I'll do it.

• 3:08H. Foley?

  I mean, you like your sandwich. Good to see you, pal. Good to see you, too. Very nice. How we doing? I wanted to bring-

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Paul's just trying to get his vacation approved, if we're being honest with you. Trying to get an advance on his salary and get a vacation approved. That's what he's doing. Hey, what's up, Mr. Dempsey?

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Trying to get that-

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Uh, how you doing? How the kids doing? Going down to shore this weekend?

• 3:25H. Foley?

  I got a bachelor party in Charleston next week. What do you want from me? He's a good friend of mine. Brought me a coffee and some zins. Yeah? I brought you a log, as you kids called it the other day. Uh-huh. Company dime. Yeah, I figured I'm paying for that. I'm paying half of that. But that keeps him happy. And you want him happy.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  I didn't- He can buy his own fucking- He can buy his own- He's well compensated.

• 3:46H. Foley?

  Well compensated. Don't forget that. You got all those goddamn computer screens in front of you. Dempsey Group does well. Dempsey Group does well. Infiltrate.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Your trash is our trust fund.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  Your trash is our trust fund. The Dempsey Group.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:58H. Foley?

  Um, I wanted to bring this up to both of you. Not that you didn't know this, alright?

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  But I really, okay, they say that you age, um, like, I don't know, I can't remember what it is, but it's like, you, you, you notice a difference in your age and like, you're 20, and like, when you're 20, you're something, some, some age like that, or some breaking down like that, like,

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  There's actual times where you see the transition.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 4:23H. Foley?

  And I think I've crossed over into one, a little bit.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? Despite my, um, overweight appearance.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:31H. Foley?

  Different than that, I've noticed that like, my eyes are changing a little bit.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:36H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? They're starting to get a little bit older.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Right? And like, my skin is starting to get a little bit older. And the thing that I wanted to, to, to, to break out to you is, uh, the hair situation.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Yours?

• 4:49H. Foley?

  Yes, not, not, not here, this is, I mean, come on, we'll take, we, I'll still take this to the fucking bank. They'll give me a loan on this thing.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  I don't know, okay.

• 4:57H. Foley?

  Really?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  I thi- I did-

• 4:58H. Foley?

  You think it's a little straggly?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  I've listened, I'm, it just might come off as me being a hater, being that I ain't got great hair, it's not that, I've always been a champion of your positive assets. I've also been a critic of your negative assets.

• 5:11H. Foley?

  Very critical.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Which are very, very overwhelming.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  Yes. I don't want you to judge me on my wins, I want you to judge me on my losses.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Cause I have so many. Judge me on my flaws, cause I'm mostly flaws.

• 5:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  No, I, uh, I, listen, it, it's been better. It's a good head of hair.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  You're, you're, you're getting a little gray, get a little streaky, get a little long, get a little gross, getting a little, you know, that's all I'm saying.

• 5:33H. Foley?

  I could use like, a good, um-

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Perm. Blow out.

• 5:36H. Foley?

  I've been really thinking about getting a perm.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Blow your back out.

• 5:38H. Foley?

  Would you guys like that if I got a perm?

• 5:40Speaker 01

  I'd not really, I mean, I don't know. Sure?

• 5:42H. Foley?

  What I need-

• 5:43Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't really care what you do with your hair, it's just not that great anymore.

• 5:46H. Foley?

  What I need at the right time, which I think will be around the end of this year, to go down, uh, some, find some nice joint downtown, you know? Nice salon, and go, go get a, go get a real, get a wash and a shampoo and-

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, I don't understand why you don't just go do that tomorrow.

• 6:01H. Foley?

  Cause I-

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Why don't you do that tomorrow afternoon, or Thursday, or whatever?

• 6:03H. Foley?

  Because I would like to earn that, I would, I would like to be in a little bit better physical shape till I do that.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Can I give you something? Might make you feel a little better, you walk up, it makes, might put you in a better mood, make you, make me even more better steps. First part of Feelgood's look good.

• 6:15H. Foley?

  I don't wanna be the fat guy walking around with the hairdo.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  But you'd rather be a fat guy walking around with a hairdo than a fat guy walking around with all bad gear and stuff.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  It's not that. Not the hair. It's the other places with the hair.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Am I, okay.

• 6:29H. Foley?

  The ear hair.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 6:31H. Foley?

  Dude, do you have that yet?

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Little, I mean, just like a one or two, not, not, not a non-issue.

• 6:39H. Foley?

  Dude.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  But I, I find it more and more.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  Sucks. I just don't, why is that a thing?

• 6:45Speaker 01

  It's protection, right?

• 6:46H. Foley?

  Is it?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I think hair is mostly protection.

• 6:50H. Foley?

  So what, I'm getting older, so it thinks that I need more, more hair? It's like vines growing on an old house.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, protecting that old brick and stuff like that. You know what I mean? Expose them hardwood floors. Ah, it's kinda funny you're bringing that up, cuz I had, it hit me the other day. I caught a glimpse of my hog, and I gotta tell ya, it's an old man hog.

• 7:12H. Foley?

  Put reading glasses on?

• 7:13Speaker 01

  I don't know if it's the baby, or just stress, lack of sleep, or now that I have a baby, there's like some like, I'm now, I now view my hog differently.

• 7:23H. Foley?

  An old man's penis?

• 7:25Speaker 01

  It's an older, I used to have a young, I used to have a fucking tight sack, a spry, spry little zinger.

• 7:30H. Foley?

  Young kid running around over there.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Little, you know, little, little, little zinger on ya, little stinger, fucking, little pep in his step. I, dude, this is like a one-eyed fucking, got a bit of a cough, yeah.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:44H. Foley?

  I'm up, I'm up.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Nothing, but it was just like one or two extra wrinkles, and I'm like, what the hell is, I caught him like, that ain't good. That's, you know, he's just beat up, weathered man.

• 7:54H. Foley?

  Sitting in his chair, in the dark, watching the news, eating a TV dinner.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's, you know.

• 7:59H. Foley?

  Sleeping in the.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Waiting on his son to call or something like that.

• 8:02H. Foley?

  Sleeping in the recliner.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, just resting my eyes, I'm just resting my eyes. Uh, yeah, I had that too, it was definitely like a, ooh, man, that's a, getting older, baby.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  Really time, it's really now the time to start, I don't know.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  When?

• 8:20H. Foley?

  What?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:21H. Foley?

  Excuse me?

• 8:24H. Foley?

  Scary to think about.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  What? Getting older, you're 50, dude.

• 8:29H. Foley?

  50.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  I'm 49, dickhead.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Alright, you've lived the life of a 150 year old. You're like Father, you're like a wizard. Fucking guy over here. Cut you open, count the rings.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  Like a vampire.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  I've been alive before the age of men. I would love that.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:48H. Foley?

  To be one of those guys.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  A vampire?

• 8:50H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Why?

• 8:51H. Foley?

  Cause they-

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Sleep all the time?

• 8:53H. Foley?

  Sleep during the day.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Suck dudes.

• 8:56H. Foley?

  Suck dudes.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  You do sleep during the day. And at night, you're sleeping a lot.

• 9:03H. Foley?

  But I like the idea of being omnipotent. Is that the right word?

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Somewhat.

• 9:08H. Foley?

  Being a-

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Like all-knowing or all-present?

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Well, like, if you're, I wouldn't be able to do it now, but if like, I became a vampire tomorrow. Okay?

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Uh, hold on, let me get there. Okay. Yeah, alright, I'm with it. It took me a second.

• 9:22H. Foley?

  If I became a, if I became a vampire tonight. Watched my last sunrise. Probably down in New Orleans is where they'd get me. That's just from Interview with the Vampire.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  Watched my last sunrise. To go through, ah, go through all that shit, get up, I'm a vampire. In like 400 years, just think all the cash I'd have. I'd know everything. I'd speak every language.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  You do nothing would change.

• 9:46H. Foley?

  You think I would still stink?

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd still stink. See, this is, this is your problem. This is your problem. You're now living in such a fantasy role where you're like, if I was a vampire. I'd be, and I had 400 years to get my act together.

• 10:02H. Foley?

  Get it together.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  First of all, you gotta be magic. You need 400 years. And then you go, imagine how much cash I'd have. Zilch. You'd blow, you'd have 400 years to blow it. That's what you would do.

• 10:13H. Foley?

  You would blow it. But I could just steal it.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  You'd be fatter. You can't get out it during the day.

• 10:19H. Foley?

  You can't eat. I can't, I ate regular shit.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  You'd figure it out.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  Do vampires eat regular food?

• 10:25Speaker 01

  You would stay the exact same as when you changed.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  Oh, I can't lose weight?

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Unless you, no. The hell kind of vampire can't fly? You're only like six inches off the ground.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Uh, I, listen, uh, you'd be pale as shit and you need color, cuz when you get pale, it's bad. You don't wanna be a vampire.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  My skin don't look good. The, the, the face don't look good now. I need a little color. Look good.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So you, you, listen, I don't, you, I don't think that's, I don't think, I don't think that's the right career move for you right now. Let's run up, let's run up by our suits.

• 10:59H. Foley?

  Maybe a gargoyle.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, something like that.

• 11:02H. Foley?

  Freeze me in the, in the, in the, uh, turn me into stone for about a thousand years.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  And then what?

• 11:08H. Foley?

  I don't know, get, get something to eat.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Imagine that, stretch it, isn't it?

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 11:15H. Foley?

  Alright, let's quit screwing around.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, uh, we may or may not be vampires at the moment. As you, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Um, and let's friggin' get into it.

• 11:32H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Um, alright, this one's, uh, this one's from Jacob. Long time $10, absolute class, but love and observe trash. This is my first time question.

• 11:43H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  But then, okay, this one, uh...

• 11:46H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Is it garbage to have decoy nice things visible in hopes that if you get robbed, they won't search for the actual good stuff? My dad has a decoy $20 mini safe that's very visible in his room and fake jewelry box on his dresser to distract from his real money stash hidden in a box full of old T- I'm not getting this guy's fucking shit out, uh, in his closet, so if someone breaks in, they'll steal the decoy and his cash is safe. I offered the victim a real safe that bolts into the wall, but he said that's too obvious. I gotta, that is, I, I never liked the, not that I have that many valuable things, except them jeans, cool guy jeans, which I think was right down the middle. That was like a 50/50.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  It was split.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Split.

• 12:32H. Foley?

  Look good in them.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Trying to get that vacation approved.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  I do, I always thought that. If you see a safe, it's like, well, then I'll just... If somebody breaking in your house and wa... you know.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I don't think a safe is stopping them.

• 12:49H. Foley?

  You're gonna keep looking. You're gonna keep looking, just because...

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 12:53H. Foley?

  You don't grab the first jewelry box on top of the thing and the fake little safe there.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  I think you're looking then gets... I think you go, "I've gotten something good, I'll give a quick toss." But you're not look... you're already... you gotta think that time's on. I've never fucking broken it. I've never fucking been in a play.

• 13:10H. Foley?

  The clock, calling out, clock's running.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you're not like, you know, you're going, "All right, I got something that looks pretty goo... I gotta..."

• 13:16H. Foley?

  People are on drugs, though.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I mean... I would... I... they do not spend it unless they're like, you know, it's like an art heist or something. They're fucking in and out of there. They're not like wandering around. Yeah, you might get the guy who's all in fucking goofballs who makes a sandwich or whatever.

• 13:32H. Foley?

  But also to... for... Just that reason. For your entire li... every day, you have a fake jewelry box just sitting on your thing, just in case the one time you get robbed.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  That's crazy. I respect that.

• 13:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  And the chances of you getting robbed are zilch. Like, I mean, act... how many people actually get a fucking B and E?

• 13:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  You know, .01% or something like that?

• 13:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's... that's... sounds like an awesome guy.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  Sounds like a fun hang, that guy.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  That's a good time.

• 13:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Uh... Yeah, we never, uh... we never... I always was big into hiding spots as a kid. Hide my fucking cigs, my lighters, before I was allowed to have lighters. Bubble gum, uh... Weed, stuff like that. I always had really good ones. Remember Red Dog, the beer?

• 14:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  That merch was big on Wildwood Boardwalk. They were giving out stuffed animals. Like, that was the big thing, if you can get a big Red Dog.

• 14:24H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 14:25Speaker 01

  And I fucking gutted the middle of it.

• 14:27H. Foley?

  Oh!

• 14:28Speaker 01

  I kept my cigs.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  I was gonna say, you hid that. What? The stuffed animals. I didn't want to... my buddies to see what I was snuggling with.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  I mean, it's just still a badass dog.

• 14:37H. Foley?

  I'm sure I've asked you. You never had a... like a teddy bear?

• 14:41Speaker 01

  No, not really. Not that, I mean, I'm sure as a kid, like-

• 14:45H. Foley?

  Hug the cart in the heaters?

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Uh, we had those little wrestling guys, but that was like, that was like more to like wrestle with.

• 14:54H. Foley?

  Oh, not, remember the wrestling, like stuffed animals?

• 14:58Speaker 01

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 14:58H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 14:59Speaker 01

  They were like, yeah, I had the ultimate, well, I think we had the, me, Danny had the ultimate warrior and I had Sting maybe. I believe it was probably a ploy for my dad to try to, you know, enjoy his house more. I'm like, here's the coolest toy at the moment.

• 15:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  Fucking bam, take that. Uh, so we had those, but like, I mean, I had a blanket that I remember. That was about it. Sleeping bag, Marlboro miles. No, uh, I remember that, but like, that was like my thing. I had like a blankie as a kid. You know what I mean?

• 15:29Speaker 03

  I had Bunny and George.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  The fuck is Bunny and George?

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Bunny and George?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  My stuffed animals.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  What are they?

• 15:35Speaker 03

  It was the little bunny and then a guy named Curious George.

• 15:38H. Foley?

  Oh, Curious George. Why do you say that? You're from, what are you, a friend?

• 15:41Speaker 03

  I called him Bunny and George.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Wait, wasn't Curious George the monkey?

• 15:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  So, but yours was a guy or a monkey? Did you have the guy from Curious George? You had the guy in the yellow, you had Andy?

• 15:50H. Foley?

  The man in the yellow hat?

• 15:50Speaker 01

  You had Andy or whatever his name was?

• 15:52H. Foley?

  He didn't have a name.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Whatever.

• 15:53H. Foley?

  He was just a man in the yellow hat. Probably up to some shady shit.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  It was the man in the yellow hat.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  Grown man living with a monkey?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  That is weird. That and I never got the guy from fucking, uh, from Garfield either. Well, that dude's a deal. Got a job or something, will you? Fucking hanging out with this cat? Go get some pussy.

• 16:08H. Foley?

  He tried to.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, well he-

• 16:10H. Foley?

  The cat never liked anybody. Scared of Broadway. I think he was a, he was a, uh, a music writer, the guy-

• 16:18Speaker 01

  John?

• 16:19H. Foley?

  Yes, from Garfield.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  John Bumknuckles? Turnbuckle, Arbuckle. Turnbuckle. That was my, take you back to my Ultimate Warrior days.

• 16:29H. Foley?

  Well, I think he was a composer or something like that, or a piano teacher or something.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I, that shit missed me. Talking cat with the lasagna.

• 16:37H. Foley?

  Did you like Heathcliff?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  That was a little before my time, like, you know, like-

• 16:43Speaker 01

  That was like...

• 16:43H. Foley?

  He was already a little personality.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't mess with any of that, really. I remember it, but it wasn't like my cup of tea.

• 16:52H. Foley?

  Go to. Bunny and George. So you had a bunny that you just called Bunny, a random Bunny.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:57H. Foley?

  And then you had George, Curious George.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Curious George.

• 17:00H. Foley?

  And so you called them Bunny and George.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Those were my guys.

• 17:02H. Foley?

  That's goddamn adorable. Bunny and George. It sounds like a 70's duo.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I had them way too late. Really? Yeah. What's too late?

• 17:11H. Foley?

  A couple of weeks ago.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Like 11, like it was like you're hiding it from your friends 11, 12? I never got it. I mean, like, it's, it's, part of the big joke is that like my childhood was like very stunted, but like dude, that's what 11-year-old, like, you know.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  11, that's not too late, man.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  For stuffies?

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  Yeah. So what'd you do with your shit in the, in the...

• 17:33Speaker 01

  I hid my shit in the fucking red, I fucking gutted him. But you had to keep the integrity, because if he looked empty, that you'd be jammed up. So I put, I forget, some sort of, I built some inner structure to maintain the outward form, so he didn't look compromised.

• 17:50H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  I kept my, my, probably heaters and probably a little dime bag or some, a couple of bag of schwiggets I would get.

• 17:56H. Foley?

  Right?

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, keep them in there.

• 17:58H. Foley?

  Smoked a little doobie?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Eh, doobie, eh, well, not that, I mean, I wasn't a big reefer head. But I'd panic, I'd freak out, a little high strung. But, uh, yeah, I would keep it in there, and then like that was, because that was like, that branding was so cool at the time, that wasn't a stuffed animal, that was beer merchandise.

• 18:18H. Foley?

  Right.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  That was, I wasn't Stuffy and George. I was like, this guy's fucking, this guy's trying to park. Yeah, this dog's fucked up. Yeah. Exactly.

• 18:27H. Foley?

  Gang, this episode is sponsored by Better Health.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  As you know, we've said it a million times, Kevin and I, mental health journey, some ups, some downs.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Some highs, some lows.

• 18:37H. Foley?

  Some highs, some lows. Things that started us off was BetterHelp. Take that step into talk therapy and do it with a professional. Don't be crying at your bartender, bitching at your business partner, or whatever.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 18:50H. Foley?

  Learn that the hard way.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Listen, I've used talk therapy multiple different periods of my life for different problems, different issues. Probably trashing me. Some family stuff, some just life stuff, relationship stuff. And each time to get back into it is very hard. I drug my feet. I was like, nah, you know, let me, maybe next week I'll look, I'll call so and so's guy. And you drag your feet and it's very tough. You call, you leave a message. That guy ain't answering because he's in, he's in with somebody and he don't call you back. He leaves a message, you call him back. You're playing phone tag. BetterHelp for me, how to solve the problems, like let me just get started. Let me just get my foot in the door. I can do it from the comfort of my own home. It's not that big of a lift and it's been a fantastic entry point into my mental health journey. I highly, highly suggest it if you're at that point in your life, which everybody should.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Everybody could use a little help from time to time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of experience. Find the one with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 19:54H. Foley?

  Okay, let's talk about Factor.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Buddy, what do you know about Factor?

• 19:57H. Foley?

  Excuse me?

• 19:58Speaker 01

  What do you know?

• 19:59H. Foley?

  I know they're tasty and delicious.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 20:01H. Foley?

  And I know you can heat them up in about two minutes in the microwave and they're fantastic. And we've been talking about it for a long time. Factor, another OG here.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:09H. Foley?

  Got a bunch of them in the fridge right now.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  It's alright.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  Might have one for my second lunch.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Guys, they have more variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and scrims at no extra cost. Also support your wellness goals, even more GLP-1 friendly meals, which is very important. And new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. Uh, plus the flavors. Listen, it's high quality eating. I'm a shredded chicken Taco Bell. I got a lot of different cuisines, a lot of ethnic this, that, little flavors I ain't never had before. Factor's opening up my eyes and kicking me in the pants with a little, little Kung Pow flavor, you know what I mean? They have more choices for better nutrition. That's why 90% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life. I am one of those customers. Feel the difference no matter your routine.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Eat smart at factormeals.com/garbage50off and use the code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Hachi machi. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with the code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  So yeah, that was one of my go-to hiding spots. I always lo- I was very big on that, "You ain't gonna find this shit."

• 21:30H. Foley?

  Wouldn't be able to find anything on me.

• 21:33H. Foley?

  Straight. Just a pocket. That's it. Just a shirt pocket. Wouldn't even know this shirt. Wouldn't even know the look. Wouldn't even know the shirt had pockets.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  But that, I would go back, that is the place every- it's everybody- I've done it. You think the shirt pocket hanging in the- it's gotta be in the bottom of the dirty hamper or something like that.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  You know what I also-

• 21:53Speaker 01

  You ain't getting me. If it's in the closet, that's getting found.

• 21:56H. Foley?

  You know what I also do? I have a jacket. No one knows where it is. But I have a jacket-

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Still at the store.

• 22:03H. Foley?

  I have a jacket that I never wear, that I've taken one of the pockets and I slit the pocket open and I put stuff in there and then move it around into the jacket.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Move it around into the ja- I'm sorry-

• 22:17H. Foley?

  Because when you rip open a pocket, it goes into the jacket, into the inside of the jacket. And just move it around to the back of the jacket. That's it. You wouldn't even know. You'd check the pockets and be like, "It's in there."

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Oh, you cut the inside of a jacket?

• 22:29H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Huh, okay.

• 22:30H. Foley?

  You like that?

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Nah, seems like a lot-

• 22:33H. Foley?

  Come by, see what you find. Nothing.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  The last thing I want to do is start rooting around your apartment.

• 22:37H. Foley?

  We should do that.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  No, we shouldn't.

• 22:39H. Foley?

  That would be great.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  See if you can find my hiding spot, and if I can find yours.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  Straight to your underwear drawer.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Nothing here. I'm like, there's a big safe, you walk right by it.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  Where are your drawers at, Kip? Yeah, okay. I respect that craziness. A good hiding- a dirtbag loves a- I think classy people-

• 23:07Speaker 01

  They have a safe deposit box, something, something, their stuff's insured, eh, I don't ca- you know, whatever.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  I wanna get one of those.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:13H. Foley?

  Safe deposit box.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 23:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, just to have one. I take the key, right?

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:19H. Foley?

  They keep the key.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  No, you have the key.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  And they don't look what's in there.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  They can't.

• 23:23H. Foley?

  Wouldn't people be hiding drugs and shit like that in there?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  I think that, I mean, I'm assuming, uh, I doubt drugs, because if you're s- I think it's like money, I think people would've, I think it's like money and documents, but like, I-

• 23:36H. Foley?

  Jewels?

• 23:37Speaker 01

  I don't think drugs make sense. I mean, if you're selling drugs, you're not like in the business of holding them.

• 23:44H. Foley?

  Right.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  So you're not like, ah, let me go, and it's not that big.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  I mean, you can get a bigger one, but like-

• 23:52H. Foley?

  Put a beer in there?

• 23:53Speaker 01

  I mean, so, you can put a beer in there if you want, but like, I mean, if you're gonna put drugs in there, what are you gonna then go get them in two days? Like, that's fucking, it's just a waste of-

• 23:58H. Foley?

  Knocking on the back at 11 o'clock at night?

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's fucking wasted.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  Cue!

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Can I use this ATM to take out my drugs from my safe deposit box?

• 24:07H. Foley?

  I just gotta get my comb that I left in there.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  I need my birth certificate, cause I'm traveling.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  I need my birth certificate at 3:00 in the morning.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Going to Colombia.

• 24:17H. Foley?

  But!

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 24:19H. Foley?

  Great question, though.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great. Um, this is from Tommy. Yo, is it garbage to rip a ciggy shin-deep at the water in the, at the beach? If, yeah. If you're, cigs at the beach are becoming taboo.

• 24:33H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  They are. Cigs, obviously, anywhere in public are becoming taboo, but cigs at the beach are becoming more and more taboo, maybe even prohibited. Not permitted, but that's gotta be done at your chairs.

• 24:50H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Given you're not like on top of somebo- that's just me, I'm a, I'm a polite, I tend to be a polite smoker, don't want to hinder other people. I'm not gonna be sitting there chain-smoking cigs if there's a, you know-

• 25:03H. Foley?

  Cigs at the beach ain't great anyway.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  It's not.

• 25:05H. Foley?

  I don't know why.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  It's hot, it's sandy.

• 25:07H. Foley?

  It's the salt, it's the salt air.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Wet, eh, yeah.

• 25:09H. Foley?

  Doesn't, doesn't bode well, but a heater in the ocean, you just feel wrong.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  I don't, then what do you do? You flick it in, I just think I remember my dad flicking them in the water.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  What?

• 25:20Speaker 01

  That is a fucking 90's, dude.

• 25:21H. Foley?

  That's so fucked up. I mean, I've done more fucked up.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck? Also, aren't they dumping like fucking truckloads of trash in the fuck out in the ocean? What's a little heater gonna do for my dad?

• 25:32H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 25:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Like a needles washing up on fucking Wildwoods Beach.

• 25:36H. Foley?

  Remember that? Were there ever actually needles that washed up on the beach?

• 25:39Speaker 01

  I think so, yeah. I think that was big in New York specifically. Like back in the day, when there was like, they were just dumping the dump.

• 25:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Just taking right out of like-

• 25:51H. Foley?

  Needles washing up on the beach.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  That's your big fear.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  In 2024, needles were and other medical waste were-

• 25:56Speaker 01

  I remember this.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Reported washing ashore in Maryland, Delaware, and Virginia.

• 26:00H. Foley?

  Medical waste?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:01H. Foley?

  So that means that that medical facility, whatever one it was, took it out and dumped it in the ocean?

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, there is also the syringe tied from 1987 to 88 in Jersey.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  That's what I think. That was, that's the stereotype we remember.

• 26:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 26:17H. Foley?

  I mean, that's crazy. That a professional, that, that, that's so fucked up that those companies-

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Well, the medical company, like the doctor's office isn't taking it and winging it all to peer. They're fucking, it's, you know.

• 26:28H. Foley?

  They hire a company to take it away. Oh yeah, we'll store it for you or get rid of it for you. And they're just dumping it in the ocean.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  I mean, I think that's relatively, some of that's legal or looked up. I mean, did you ever see like the, like the Indonesian stuff? They just like, they back it up and dump it. I mean, there's that floating island of trash or whatever.

• 26:48H. Foley?

  I know. I'm sure they can't get that. But it's the biggest Texas or something like that?

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Something not, I mean, how are you gonna get if it's the biggest Texas? What, how, what fucking boat you gonna take to pick that up?

• 26:58H. Foley?

  Sure they have a boat that has like nets on it or something that can scoop that up?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  And do what with it? Dump it back in the, dump it in another ocean? Take it from the Pacific to the Atlantic? Uh, I don't know. There's also the thing that like 99% of the stuff you recycle ends up in a, I don't understand the difference between a land, are landfills good or bad?

• 27:17Speaker 03

  I think generally bad, just, but let me find out.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  What else do you do with it?

• 27:22Speaker 03

  I think that's the problem, is that we never figured out what to do with it, the best way to.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  No one, I mean, this is ironic that we're talking about this on Are You Garbage, but there's no, there's no proper way to dispose of trash? You bury it?

• 27:35H. Foley?

  Melt it down?

• 27:36Speaker 01

  I think that's bad.

• 27:38H. Foley?

  Why?

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Burning all the trash and all that plastic and chemies and stuff like that? That ain't good.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, landfills are a mixed bag. They're a necessary but flawed method of waste management.

• 27:49H. Foley?

  What's the best form of waste management?

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Reduce, reuse, and recycle.

• 27:54H. Foley?

  How you doing?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Also, new addition to Tooties here.

• 27:58H. Foley?

  How do you feel about these?

• 28:00Speaker 01

  What?

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Sound great so far.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  The sound's better, you're not banging the table. I mean, you're still gonna figure out ways to do it.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  Uh, I think it's good. It dampens the sound a little bit.

• 28:12H. Foley?

  Slipping and sliding.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 28:13H. Foley?

  Very nice. I didn't know it was getting leathered, too.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  I, that was, this was a kippy call.

• 28:17H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah?

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. I got it for the Hard Feelings studio, too, getting a set of black ones.

• 28:21H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Blend in, because we're banging, we're banging like orangutans out here.

• 28:24H. Foley?

  Slipping and sliding here.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Take a little getting used to.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Sure. I feel like you should have like a felt pen or something right here. Some type of green.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  I don't know why.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Alright. A felt pen?

• 28:36H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 28:37H. Foley?

  Like, this is like a writing desk now.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  But it's classy, it is classy, it's a classy, I mean, I ain't never had no friggin' leather, uh, placemats.

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Mm.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Very, very classy.

• 28:50H. Foley?

  Think they're plastic. Feel leather.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  The best form of waste management is reduce, reuse, recycle.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Hey! That's off my website, give me my comedy talk.

• 29:01H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from Rochella. $10 hair, homie, never had one red. Is it garbage to keep produce bags for future use other than produce? Those bags stink. They are too thin to do anything.

• 29:17H. Foley?

  Just talking about recycling, though. I don't think you should use those bags at all.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  I don't like not using those bags.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  There's gotta be-

• 29:24Speaker 01

  I feel like a pilgrim. Give me, I need, I need my stuff in plastic bags.

• 29:28H. Foley?

  I like feeling like a pilgrim.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  And also, when you leave your shit in there-

• 29:33Speaker 01

  In where?

• 29:33H. Foley?

  The bird leaves them in all those bags, and then puts them in the fridge, and like this moisture builds up inside of it.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Nah, you gotta take them out of the bag.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  Gotta take them out.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  The bag, to me, is just the vessel- To get it home. To get it in the cart, from the cart, to the belt, from the belt, into the bag, from the bag, into wherever it's going.

• 29:53H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  That's how I operate with those thin bags. You put them in, eh, it gets real like terrarium type.

• 29:59H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying, yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:01H. Foley?

  All of a sudden, there's bugs in there.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  I remember one time, I remember eating peanut butter sandwiches out of, like, you know, we were going fucking to the beach or whatever, pulling them out of there, and like, they just didn't hold.

• 30:12H. Foley?

  Uh-uh.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  They're too thin.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  Sandwiches fall apart.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've used them to like, pick up dog shit and stuff like that, and that, they're too thin for that.

• 30:20H. Foley?

  Really?

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, when you're jammed up.

• 30:21H. Foley?

  Holy shit!

• 30:22Speaker 01

  You're like, that's all you got?

• 30:23H. Foley?

  Feel that heat coming out.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  It's also, there's a, they gotta be colored bags, if you can see it, boom. Booga booga, huh.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  Feel the heat in your fingertips.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Oh, man!

• 30:34H. Foley?

  Disgusting.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Stink.

• 30:36H. Foley?

  Fucking dog sitting there looking at you.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. They do, in my neighborhood, I think, I don't know if they do in a lot of neighborhoods, I don't know if it's like a New York thing, or just a more local thing, they have like, the leave a bag type thing around.

• 30:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, it's nice.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Stuff with plastic bags, because you can't really, now, but there's no one's giving plastic bags out anymore.

• 30:54H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Which, man, if there's anything more useful, sure, it's horrible for the, you know, ends up in the seals' asshole, and the fucking floating ocean and shit like that, but...

• 31:06Speaker 01

  The utility of a plastic bag in your house. There's, there's nothing better. Those like, thin bags you get at the grocery store now, they're like, kinda cloth, but disposable, they call, they charge you 15 cents or whatever.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  They're not waterproof, they're not airproof, like, there's, it's just, you need that black or white plastic bag, the thank you for being a customer loyal bag.

• 31:33H. Foley?

  Anything.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Anything.

• 31:34H. Foley?

  Could be clippers in there.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Dog, you step in dog shit, you gotta jump something, dirty clothes, wet clothes, fucking anything, it was fantastic.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  Yeah. I like it.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Uh, dude, I went somewhere yesterday, talk about reduced for users, I go, this is last week, I went to like, uh, the pharmacy, it's like a independent pharmacy in New York. And, uh, she's like, oh, do you want a bag? And I was like, oh, yeah, that'd be great, I forgot what I was buying, but I guess enough to whatever, and, uh...

• 32:05Speaker 01

  She gave me, she charged me 25 cents, like whatever, whatever they charge in New York. I think it's, you know, 25 cents. I'm like, yeah, she charged me and then gave me a bag from Target that she's like, I brought this in from home.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  What?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  And I was like, it took me a minute because I was like getting my stuff and I went,

• 32:29Speaker 01

  "Did you just sell me something?" I don't care, but if I'm paying the, just give me your Target bag. It just felt weird. I'm like, your stuff was in here and then I'm putting mine?

• 32:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  It was weird. Didn't feel right.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  I wouldn't have done that. Wait, you're charging me for a bag you brought from home?

• 32:44Speaker 01

  It all happened very quick and I was very tired and I needed a bag. But I walked out being like, fucking Ross just stole a quarter from me.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  Well, it's weird. She didn't because it went into the till. She just lost a bag.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:02H. Foley?

  What a dummy.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Me? Yeah, I mean, I'm not coming out as fucking Einstein in this.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  She gave up her bag for the company.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. She took her own 25 cent bag. Yeah. Anyway, it didn't feel right and I felt grimy.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  That's crazy. A different story giving you a Target bag. Target bags stink.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  I gotta push back on that.

• 33:24H. Foley?

  Really?

• 33:25Speaker 01

  They're a little too small for like the utility, but the handles are nice.

• 33:29H. Foley?

  I think the reusable bags, the good ones that you pay a dollar for at the grocery store are...

• 33:34Speaker 01

  They're like water, they're like, they're like plastic kind of.

• 33:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Those are great.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  Great.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  They fold well. They hide well.

• 33:41H. Foley?

  Great.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  They're, they have, but I don't take them back. I'm very anti-take-a-bag with me.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  Just throw them out.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  I mean, throwing them out, that's fucking, we're trying to reduce reuse and recycle here. Okay, big guy?

• 33:54H. Foley?

  Just throw them out. Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Like right away?

• 33:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, right away.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  That's crazy. I mean, like, listen, I'll push back if you put them in a place and you go, oh, I got a bunch of these.

• 34:04H. Foley?

  We would have a million of them. We get them every time.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Two every time, I would say, when we go to the grocery store. Because we usually use two.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Two bags.

• 34:13H. Foley?

  Don't you remember your mom going to the grocery store and being like, eight bags? I've never done that.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, just buying for a household of fucking people.

• 34:22H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah. It was all eight bags.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember like me and my brother, multiple trips in.

• 34:30H. Foley?

  Why did that suck so bad?

• 34:31Speaker 01

  That's what I do now.

• 34:32H. Foley?

  Why are you such a fucking scumbag?

• 34:34Speaker 01

  I do it now. Multiple trips in from... I'm a big Target guy now. Big dad. Got the dad genes. Target man.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Multiple trips in.

• 34:46H. Foley?

  Just think, it's gonna be a point where you're asking him.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  I hate it. It sucks.

• 34:53H. Foley?

  It's your groceries.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  It's a lot of his shit.

• 34:56H. Foley?

  When you were a kid, we had all that energy to do everything. Soon as they said, "Take your shoes off the stairs and bring them upstairs." Or, "Your mother's gonna be here in a minute. Get ready. You gotta go get the stuff out of the car." Fuck. It'd be like a Sunday. Right after breakfast, I'm in the middle of fucking Three Stooges. Belly full of eggs, toast.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Not much has changed with your resistance to doing stuff. If that bothered you that much as a kid and I-

• 35:24H. Foley?

  You just said it bothered you, now you're turning on me?

• 35:26Speaker 01

  I do-

• 35:27H. Foley?

  Rat?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  You fucking two-faced-

• 35:30H. Foley?

  Said it bothers you now.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Sure. But-

• 35:34H. Foley?

  It doesn't bother me now that much. When I'm in the car.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  I'm just saying other things. Your resistance towards things, I'm saying.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  Yes. When I'm in the car, and I, you know, I get back from the store, I'm just taking that in with me. I'm okay with that. And it's usually one or two bags. Not that big a deal.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why, no.

• 35:53H. Foley?

  And it's those tote bags. They're real nice.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Sure, heavy.

• 35:55H. Foley?

  It's alright.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  You know what sucks, though, now, is... I don't mind you can get all the bags. I'll load up every bag, clench it in my B-hole, get them in the fingers. It's the fucking case of water. You gotta go back, and then there's like two things of fucking diet cake or whatever. And it's, that's like the added trips just to be able to bring one, like-

• 36:22H. Foley?

  You know what the killer was?

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Then you gotta watch the door so the dog don't get out.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  The killer one back in the day was go get the dog food now.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Oh, like the big bag?

• 36:29H. Foley?

  Oh, like a 400 pound bag of fucking scribbles.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  They used to make that stuff. That was like feed. That was like seed. You fucking had to throw that big bag on your shoulder. I remember being too young, too little. Like, I didn't have enough mass to carry that.

• 36:43H. Foley?

  Remember kibbles and bits, which I don't know if they still make anymore, but they had, they had like moist ones in there. They were like, it was-

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, moist and meaty.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, something like that. And there was, they were almost like marshmallows. I remember tasting one of those things.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, the stuff we used to feed Patches. I think it was called moist and meaty. And they were in these little bags and he would do like two in the morning. And man, ho, they used to, one of them would get like kicked under the rug, like, you know what I mean? You'd find it a fucking couple months later, something.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  The smell on it. It would make me gag. And he starts, I'm, saliva and stuff.

• 37:20H. Foley?

  I don't get that, how our sense of smell as species can be so different. Like, how can a lion go nose deep in it like a dead buffalo's ass and just start grubbing? How? Doesn't that, doesn't that, doesn't the decomposition of-

• 37:36Speaker 01

  That turns them on.

• 37:38H. Foley?

  That smell-

• 37:38Speaker 01

  I mean, that's what, that's appetizing them. That's what they eat.

• 37:42H. Foley?

  That tastes-

• 37:42Speaker 01

  You'd probably cook them a nice filet and they go, what the hell are you doing? You ruined this. Good piece. I had a perfect T-bone here. And then you went and fucking did a salt rub on it.

• 37:53H. Foley?

  But that's sitting in the Serengeti for about two weeks. Get some maggots on it, then I'll come back.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  That's the juicy stuff.

• 37:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, I just, I don't understand that. Like, how can our sense of smell be so different? And not, not like-

• 38:06Speaker 01

  I mean, if you're, if you're looking, I mean, I gave you a comedy answer with, with the, with the grilled steaks. If you're looking for an actual scientific answer, I don't know if it's your first time watching a program. I ain't the guy to give it to you.

• 38:16H. Foley?

  Kenny, I'm gonna tell you about Pretty Litter.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  Why don't you tell me everything about Pretty Litter? Cause I don't touch this stuff, cause I got a dog, but you got a cat.

• 38:21H. Foley?

  I love the stuff. Let me tell you this.

• 38:25H. Foley?

  I'm in the room where the cat does his business.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Handles his business meetings.

• 38:30H. Foley?

  Her, thank you.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Sorry, yep.

• 38:32H. Foley?

  And I'm in there, and it's probably been a couple of days since I've, you know, dealt with this chore that I'm supposed to do.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  I'm picking up on what you're putting down.

• 38:40H. Foley?

  And I'm like, I don't smell anything. It smells great in here.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:45H. Foley?

  You know why? Pretty Litter.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  How you doing?

• 38:47H. Foley?

  It's the best, it's lightweight. If there's something going on with the cat and her urinary tract, it can give you an indication that it might be time to get her over to the vet so they can make a medical determination-

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 38:59H. Foley?

  -of anything going on with the cat, which is fantastic. Just a tiny little early warning system like, hey-

• 39:04Speaker 01

  What you need sometimes.

• 39:05H. Foley?

  -take care of the kitty. I mean, what other brand of kitty litter does that? She loves it, it's fantastic. I'm not gonna carry a 50-pound bag up the steps.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  The litter comes right to your door, it's fantastic.

• 39:16H. Foley?

  Unbelievable.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Uh, like the big man said, Pretty Litter's crystals are safe for cats and people alike. The advanced odor control means your home smells like home, not a litter box. The ultra-absorbent formula uses less material than clay litter, reducing waste and saving money. Ideal for apartments, busy lifestyles, and multi-cat households. Uh, right now you can save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/garbage. That's prettylitter.com/garbage. Just save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com/garbage. Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose disease. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.

• 39:55Speaker 04

  Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.

• 40:25H. Foley?

  Because for a while when we were like really hurting, not hurting, but like when, when, when, when I noticed that the groceries really went hard in the non-brand-

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Generic.

• 40:35H. Foley?

  Yes. We used to get my dog this dog food that smelled, it was a can.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Uh, we never, that was more eighties shit than nineties for us.

• 40:43H. Foley?

  It smelled so fucking bad that I remember I got like a drop of it on a sh- on a, on a, a shirt, like a flannel shirt. My mom washed it and washed it and I would be able to go and still smell it like a little, like a little cigarette drop of it. So fuck, I don't know what the fuck it was. Putrid, brutal.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  There's, there can't be.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  How does a dog like that? That's what I'm saying.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  They don't know. They know now.

• 41:09H. Foley?

  Because dogs.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  They, dogs are real hoity toity now.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  If I, if I throw a dog a donut, he's gonna eat that. That smells good and edible to him. But so, and, and if he likes the smell of a donut like I do, how can he?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  This dog's anything like me.

• 41:23H. Foley?

  How can they all, they also like the smell of, you know, gross shit like that?

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I don't know.

• 41:30H. Foley?

  It's crazy.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh. Yeah, I don't know. I've never really thought about it that way, but they'll also eat, kind of, and they're garbage that they're not. There's nothing gross to them. It's either appetizing or not appetizing.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  The scientific answer is unique gut biomes.

• 41:53H. Foley?

  Who's this guy?

• 41:54Speaker 01

  You were asking.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  Monkey and George over here.

• 41:56H. Foley?

  Mr. Wizard, shut up. I didn't ask. What does that mean? That's got nothing to do with your sense of smell, gut biomes.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  The intestines of scavengers contain specialized bacteria that are resistant to toxins and help them eating decaying flesh.

• 42:11H. Foley?

  I, that's, that's not sense of smell.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  That's not what makes it appetizing.

• 42:16H. Foley?

  Does it?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  It's, I lose.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  Or maybe appetizing's got nothing to do with it.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  I think this might be a folly, ploy to start eating raw animals that he's, you know, guys, what the hell's the difference between me and a lion on a Serengeti?

• 42:28H. Foley?

  There was a raccoon on the, on the Southern Interstate Parkway a couple of days ago. Looked pretty good. Legs up in the air, yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see here. This one's, uh, this one's from Willis. Is it garbage to put bring chairs on a wedding invitation? My sister's getting married next week and she put bring chairs and a cooler of beers on the invitation.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  There's no two ways. If it's super cash, party in the backyard, whatever, whatever, like barbecue style, kind of. More of hang.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Totally okay with that. If you got me in a fucking suit, if I'm expected to wear a suit and fucking bring furniture, I ain't going to the fucking wedding.

• 43:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:11H. Foley?

  I do remember, uh, people having parties where it was not, like, it was a cookout, but like, bring your lawn chair.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  I don't, I, yeah, I don't, I've never, I've never attended something like that. Bring your own lawn chair.

• 43:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, bring your own lawn chair. It's like hang out in the backyard. Yeah, because people don't have that many.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:34H. Foley?

  I don't know what that setup would look like, though. If it is, it's just to chill.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  But then, like, what are you just getting? One big circle? I don't know. The execution of that.

• 43:41H. Foley?

  I could see that. You ever sat in a big circle like that?

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:46H. Foley?

  The family used to do that a lot, and at the softball games, they would do that a lot.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  It's so crazy. They just hung out so much when I was a kid, like, that's what parents did. They just hung the fuck out. They would all get together and drink.

• 43:59H. Foley?

  That'd be it.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think people are doing that.

• 44:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, I know, I know.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:04H. Foley?

  I just don't see it.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Sure. Uh, my uncle,

• 44:08H. Foley?

  Where to drink alone?

• 44:09Speaker 01

  My uncle Mike was telling me, and we were talking, he's got a, he's got a place down the shore, and, uh, in there, they call it the courtyard. So they have, like, the house. He bought, like, an old house, and behind it, there's like two,

• 44:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  one-bedroom little, you know, units, and they have, like, a little patio. Little concrete patio, and a little bit, you know, on the side of that, that's in the back, and then on the side of the house, it was like a patch of grass that they put, uh, above-ground pool in, and my cousin Mikey, who outbuilt the addition here, uh, built a bar, like a tiki bar. And they would fucking, they'd watch, they had a TV on the tiki bar, they'd watch the Phil's games in the summer in the pool, fucking reaching over, grabbing beers, drinking in the tiki bar. Great, great North Wildwood hang.

• 44:54H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Nothing's better than an above-ground pool, tiki bar, Phil's going,

• 44:57H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  having beers.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  But then, I think that this is, you know, between, they had to get a new above-ground pool. And, order to do that, they had to remove the old one and then like, put sand down or whatever, something there, so, they had sand, and then the pool was delayed to getting put in, so for like, three weeks, it was just sand, and we had beach chairs in there. So you'd go over, you're in flip-flops.

• 45:28H. Foley?

  To the beach!

• 45:29Speaker 01

  And I remember, he's like, dude, I think about that, because I was looking at him like, we were all sitting there, he's like, everybody's like, fucking going, you know, and he's going, I said to him, and I don't remember, he's like, I went, "Why are you putting a pool in? We're fucking chilling right, like, we're chilling at the beach and we're not on the beach, you got all the good stuff of the beach. Tootsies are in the sand, I'm putting heaters out, scooping them, brushing them over, you know what I mean? I'm like, we're vibing right.

• 46:00H. Foley?

  Sitting in a big ashtray.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the hell, and he's like, dude, I think about how great those three weeks of that summer were, like, everybody would just go over, there's 15, 20 chairs all in a big circle, just hanging. Not a care in the world, tully nuts as far as the eye can see.

• 46:16H. Foley?

  They don't sell tully nuts to go, right?

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Uh, no, during the pandemic they were. I didn't have one tully nut all summer.

• 46:23H. Foley?

  Get a big picture of that to the house as a party, I wonder if they'd ever do that, you had a big party on the shore.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  I'm sure maybe they would, you know, I remember at some of the tailgates, I'd see them, they'd be selling them, they have like a backpack cooler, they'd be selling them for like, you know, whatever.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  Would the number one would?

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the guys, yeah.

• 46:39H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember when the Phillies, I guess it was 2008 or whatever, they were, I saw them at the, you know,

• 46:45H. Foley?

  Tully nutter.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  They were fucking slangin' T-nuts.

• 46:49H. Foley?

  Makes sense.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's from Ashley, "Is it garbage you have to wear two different shoes to court? I mean, you're losing that fucking K. Why would you have to? What set of circumstances do you have, I could see maybe you mess up, and you have two, you know, you make the mistake, you're colorblind, but having to?

• 47:14H. Foley?

  They're forced to, because you don't find, you don't have the other ones. I can't do it, it's too-

• 47:19Speaker 01

  I mean, but the chances of you can't find the left, like, that's, I can't understand-

• 47:25H. Foley?

  This kid's a dirtball.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, just wear the sneakers.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you have to have one complete set. You'll look better in a set of fucking flip flops.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  A set of Crocs than...

• 47:39H. Foley?

  But you wouldn't notice it. How often do you notice a man's shoes, Andy Dufresne? 1955.

• 47:46H. Foley?

  Right? How often do you notice a man's shoes?

• 47:48Speaker 01

  I think a judge does take that into account. That's why everybody, you get dressed up in your court clothes.

• 47:54H. Foley?

  But you might never see the feet if you walk down to the left and you're behind the table.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  You throw a smoke bomb at the ju- the judge. I'm not a judge. I don't...

• 48:04H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  A judge has to make snap decisions. I'm saying I think, I think it's well documented that judges analyze that stuff.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  That's all I'm saying.

• 48:12H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  That's why they say, "But you dress up, you come in, you know." No one said, "It's, oh, you got two different shoes on?" No worries. This case is a slam dunk.

• 48:21H. Foley?

  Maybe he was going for an insanity plea, I don't know.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 48:24H. Foley?

  Got them on his hands.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  The internet's saying it's pretty important to wear good shoes.

• 48:29H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, for the jury.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, how's this even up for fuck- what are we doing here? How are we even trying to spin this argument? You have to, for sure.

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  No, no, no judge, no lawyer's gonna go, "Yeah, fucking, oh yeah, so you went with the fucking Reebok and the high heel. Yeah, great. Don't matter. This thing's open and shut. I'm just thrown out." Cop was drunk. Did you see that drunk cop in Massachusetts?

• 48:51H. Foley?

  No, what happened to him?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  I don't know. What do you mean, "What happened to him?" He pulled, I think he pulled someone over. This cop is on fucking Pluto.

• 49:02H. Foley?

  Uniform cop?

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:04H. Foley?

  All fucked up?

• 49:05Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 49:06H. Foley?

  Alcoholic.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Sure. I don't know why you made it fucking sad. What the fuck, trying to have cop fucking fun with this? "Oh, yeah, man, it's a disease that, uh, it's a crippling..."

• 49:14H. Foley?

  Did he get in trouble?

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, he got in fucking trouble. He shows up, he's fucking, you know, he looks like you on a Tuesday night.

• 49:19H. Foley?

  Pulled somebody over?

• 49:21Speaker 01

  I don't have the whole story, but yeah, he was, he was an arresting officer at a, some sort of incident.

• 49:27H. Foley?

  What do you say when you're that guy? This guy's fucking drunk.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  He's like, "Look at this boy." He's like, "Get your boy." And the other two guys are going, "Ah, easy does it, easy does it."

• 49:37H. Foley?

  What would you do in that situation?

• 49:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 49:39Speaker 01

  I'd go, "Let me the fuck go. You go your way, I'll go my way. Someone take your keys. If I come back here and your cop car's here, I'll be like, 'Listen, my shift's done at midnight if I come..."

• 49:48H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this. Would he be able to tell if somebody else was drunk? Okay, let's say-

• 49:53Speaker 01

  Do you have it? It's, I think it was in Lowell, Massa- or it was in Massachusetts.

• 49:56Speaker 03

  Lynn, Mass, yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  What, yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  He's on administrative leave.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  But was, what was the, see if you can get the facts of, he pulled someone over, he was ju- dude, this guy is looking at you like, he's on ketamine. Like, this guy's zooted.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Like, how your first reaction was, ah, you know, things happen.

• 50:15H. Foley?

  Well, let me ask you this. Okay, so, let's say you're, you're driving drunk, okay, and a cop pulls you over-

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Hold on. Alright, I can get that.

• 50:24H. Foley?

  Alright, and a cop comes up to the window. Right in the window, and he throws down, "You drinking tonight?", and he's fucked up. Which, can it, can it, can a drunk person tell when another person is drunk? I don't know if I really can.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I, I have, this is my, this is-

• 50:42H. Foley?

  You understand what I'm saying?

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Yes, and this is how I know another person's drunk. Cause I know I'm drunk. Right?

• 50:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  And if I go, "Oh, this guy, me and this guy are vibing right now",

• 50:51H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  He's also fucked up. Cause no one's sober. Cause I know how much I had to drink. Right? It's called 15 beers, a couple shots, you know what I mean? Hey, Manhattan? I know I'm drunk, so if me and this dude are speaking the same language-

• 51:07H. Foley?

  What's your problem?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:09H. Foley?

  I, exactly. You want a heater? I'd take a heater. Just think of what you'd be able to- Alright, get out of here.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  I'd go, if I got, if I, listen, you know, not that I, I, uh, I don't drink and drive, I don't condone it, but if I was, you were drunk and you got pulled over, and a cop was fucked, uh, me and him are going, "Oh, God, this cop is fucking making sense to me."

• 51:33Speaker 01

  I'd go, "You had at least eight beers, officer." You know?

• 51:37H. Foley?

  Alright, so let's say this, you get pulled over, you're completely sober, and this guy comes up to the window-

• 51:42Speaker 01

  I'd call 911.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  You'd call 911?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  And be like, "This, come get your boy, dude."

• 51:47Speaker 01

  This guy is fucking three sheets. Yeah. What do you got?

• 51:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I'll drop a picture of the guy, he's leaning on the back of the car.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  Let me pull it up so Paul can see it.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:58H. Foley?

  Man, this poor guy.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Oh, is he high? They're saying he's high.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  Highest fucking job.

• 52:05H. Foley?

  Like I told you-

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Can I come and deal with shit?

• 52:07Speaker 05

  No, no, no, like I told you, coming off a double and you got on a bad back.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  They're trying to cover him.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  You got a bad back!

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Okay. Bad back, that's what every-

• 52:16H. Foley?

  Let me see it.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  That's what every dude on drugs says.

• 52:18H. Foley?

  Can you insert this in post?

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, insert in post.

• 52:20H. Foley?

  Yeah, let's watch this. We gotta watch this.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Send me, text me, or what link are you watching? Yeah, let me see if I can-

• 52:29H. Foley?

  His boys are great, man.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  I mean-

• 52:32H. Foley?

  Those body cams, you're really gonna tiptoe around.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Listen, I don't condone the, what is that? What do they call that? The thin blue line or whatever?

• 52:39H. Foley?

  Yes, of course.

• 52:43H. Foley?

  Let me see.

• 52:44Speaker 05

  Yep, call your sergeant.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  He's, I mean, like, I've been this fucked up.

• 52:48Speaker 05

  Call your sergeant.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Wait, that's-

• 52:49Speaker 05

  Call your sergeant. I want your sergeant here. I have my rights to call a sergeant here. So call your sergeant, right now.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  He's not even moving.

• 52:58H. Foley?

  The guy, that's the-

• 53:00Speaker 01

  The guy who's getting arrested.

• 53:02H. Foley?

  Is saying that.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Is going-

• 53:03H. Foley?

  Yeah. Go back, let me see one more time.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  I can't, I don't, I mean, I don't have that capacity. It's on Instagram.

• 53:09H. Foley?

  What a fucking dick. Shut up, guy.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  Look at him.

• 53:14H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 53:15Speaker 05

  Look at him.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  So-

• 53:16Speaker 05

  Highest fuck-

• 53:19Speaker 05

  Highest fucking on job.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Like I told you-

• 53:21Speaker 05

  Gonna come and deal with shit. No, no, no, like I told you, coming off a double and you got a bad back.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  They don't wanna get, listen, they're trying to, they're trying to protect their boy. I don't, I- I mean, dude, that face right there is a guy who is fucked up.

• 53:35H. Foley?

  He worked a double and he's got a bad back.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  His wife's leaving him.

• 53:39H. Foley?

  From now on.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  I worked a double. If I'm hungover, I worked a double.

• 53:43H. Foley?

  And I got a bad back.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  You know I got that slipped is-

• 53:47H. Foley?

  What a prick that guy.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  Who?

• 53:50H. Foley?

  Fucking bitchin'.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Listen, if you're, listen, I'm not here to cast dispersion-

• 53:55H. Foley?

  You just say, "Hey, you, you're arresting me for something, whatever. I'm outta here." I don't care if I got-

• 54:03Speaker 01

  It didn't look like that was happening, though.

• 54:05H. Foley?

  Ah, see, that, you gotta play ball.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't have, I don't have all the fa- I don't know-

• 54:08H. Foley?

  You gotta let him go. You say, "Listen, just get the fuck outta here."

• 54:12Speaker 01

  It didn't look like that was happening, 'cause if that, one of those two cops would've been like, "Dude, hey buddy." Alright, they were like-

• 54:19H. Foley?

  You're still trying to get the collar? What are you, fucking nuts? You gotta get fucking rusty out of there.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Well, at this point, it's all, it's all document. This ain't the 80's. All, he, the guy who's getting arrested, he's got his-

• 54:30H. Foley?

  Why do you have his cellphone out, if he went in cuffs? I'd have put him in cuffs and all.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Take you, hey listen, we can do this the hard way or the easy way, take you downtown. Hit you with the phone book.

• 54:41H. Foley?

  If this was the 80s, that guy just sort of got fucking clunked over the head and been like shut up.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, dragged to the outskirts of town and, you know, left out of the jurisdiction. Ah, yeah, that's jammed up. Do they say, did they say what it was or what it is or anything like that?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  They really are not commenting on it.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get that.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  My union delegate said I'm not allowed to, I'm not allowed to talk about it.

• 55:04H. Foley?

  Probably kombucha or something got him.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  The three local news things are like, just respect the family's privacy and blah blah.

• 55:11H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  Wait, they got the news playing ball?

• 55:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  None of them are posting the video.

• 55:17H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Man.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  I had to find it on Reddit.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  That's small town shit.

• 55:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, my, like, the YouTube link, I was, mine was looking at an Instagram.

• 55:26H. Foley?

  Get your sergeant down here. Shut the fuck up.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  I don't know, you're taking X, I listen.

• 55:32H. Foley?

  You're trying to make a bigger case, but you gotta let him go. E- even if he's got a body in the trunk, he's, you gotta let him go.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Do they say, do they have the details of the, of, the, the, the series of events? Was that guy making the arrest? Cause if that guy's making the arrest, I gotta go.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  Buddy, you had the balls to pull me over, jam my night up, I was going to get some pussy. All of a su- all of a sudden you got me fucking, you pulling me over dude?

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Cause he, so the cop was responding to a call of service.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  He showed up, ah.

• 56:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, he's not. Where's the fucking problem?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  I believe it. Oh my fuck.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  The, so that guy showed up, zooted.

• 56:15H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 56:18H. Foley?

  My man, bots and pan.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Based on evidence collected to date, including a review of body cam footage and consultation with medical professionals, it appears the officer experienced a medical related episode.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  A medical rela- yeah, he could have had a medical related episode.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  That's, jeez, fuck. Abusing pharmaceutical painkillers.

• 56:41H. Foley?

  Maybe, but wait, that's what the, that's what the, the, the, the article says?

• 56:46Speaker 03

  That's what Boston 25 is saying.

• 56:48H. Foley?

  Damn!

• 56:48Speaker 01

  They, they, they mean business.

• 56:50H. Foley?

  That's fucking hometown right there, dog. Love to hear it. Not trying to rip somebody's life apart.

• 56:58H. Foley?

  Fucked up on a job.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fucked up. I mean, listen.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Dude, he's...

• 57:08Speaker 01

  He's yelling.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  That's bad.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  He always had those one friends.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I don't, dude, just sleep that one off. Like... Listen, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I've never gotten, I've never had a job like that where I could get fucked up. I guess there's a good amount of downtime at night, right? There's probably not, small town, there's not that many calls, so you're like, ah, you know.

• 57:29H. Foley?

  I've waited.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  They might even have a thing where it's like, hey, hey, Tuesday you get fucked up, Wednesday I get fucked up, we cover each other. That's what I would do, you know what I mean? Your own call. Hey, you go get, you go get fucked up. You know, I got, I got this, this, you know.

• 57:43H. Foley?

  Then you get fucked up.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you, you're like, you know, I'll be BD.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  He was supposed to...

• 57:48Speaker 01

  He was, he was supposed to be BD.

• 57:49H. Foley?

  You were Wednesday, I thought it was Tuesday.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  I told you, I told we switched. I thought you were covering for it.

• 57:55H. Foley?

  In 2008, 2009, 2010, down in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, working in restaurants, man.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's different. You're not a fucking, you're a fucking busboy.

• 58:06H. Foley?

  Some nodders going on.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  Uh... But, uh... To show, I just like, to have someone, just go, yo dude, I'd like, tell your boy, I'm fucked up, I can't make it, send Jenkins instead. Hey Gallagher, you gotta cover this one. I'm fucked up, I, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll buy you dinner tomorrow, something like that.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Showing up to a call.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  That's bad.

• 58:27H. Foley?

  That rules.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  That ain't good. You are jammed the frig up, dude.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  Fucking Tommy Two Guns comes in.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Everybody down.

• 58:36H. Foley?

  He's got the gun from Buck Hunter in his hand.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  There's a cat in a tree. Everybody hit the deck. Hands where I can see.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  I'll take care of this son of a bitch. Gets the AR. Knocks the fucking cat out.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Damn. Alright, let's see. This one's from Patrick Barton. You ever have grandparents retire near the beach and then you guys start using seashells as ashtrays?

• 59:00H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  That was big.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  I never thought that weird. Down the shore, there was like the big seashell, you know, like the stereotypical cartoon seashell.

• 59:11H. Foley?

  What were they, clams?

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a big clam.

• 59:13H. Foley?

  Yeah, it is a big clam, right? You never find oyster shells on the beach, really. It's always clams.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Do oysters like... Are oysters like caught or like more farmed?

• 59:28H. Foley?

  I don't know. There's wild oysters, I assume.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I assume, but it like, you know.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  That animals eat, because that's how those seashells... That's how those seashells wash up on the beach. Animals crack them open.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  I don't think that's right. What animals?

• 59:45H. Foley?

  Like fish and shit.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  I'm not saying you're wrong. Never thought about this. How does a fish with no arms crack open a shell that's tough for a human?

• 59:54H. Foley?

  Otters or whatever.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  How many otters do you see in Wildwood, New Jersey?

• 59:58H. Foley?

  They're out there, I assume.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  No, they're not. You would assume? Where are they at?

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  Seals and shit.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  There's no seals in Wildwood, New Jersey.

• 1:00:05H. Foley?

  There's seals in the Atlantic Ocean.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  I'm not... Listen, that's a big stretch. The Atlantic Ocean.

• 1:00:09H. Foley?

  Well, it's not just right there.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Well, how...

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  Wait a minute. So how do those?

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Listen, this is a... I'm not saying my logic is right.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  How do seashells become seashells?

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Listen, I worked a double last night and I got a bad back, alright?

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  How do seashells become seashells?

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  I believe the clam probably opens or grows or... I'm assuming it's something in the clam's life cycle.

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  A clam doesn't jump from shell to shell. They make that shell.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  I'm not saying they don't. I'm just saying something in the clam's life cycle. I don't think there's... I would have seen an otter.

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  How does the clam make that shell? It's crazy.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  There'd be an otter fucking under the boardwalk catching heaters or something.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  I assume they're just like-

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Dudes would be catching otters in North Wildwood if there was otters.

• 1:00:52H. Foley?

  Sure. I just assume that those seashells that wash up on the beach are thousands of years old. That got cracked open years ago.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Whoa, we just have very different perspectives of that.

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  No, you think they're new?

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  I don't know, new? I didn't think thousands of years old.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  Luke?

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Couple, a year, two years.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  I wouldn't think thousands, but their big predators are blue crabs, birds also, otters are in there, sea otters.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  I, no, I'm for sure agreeing with otters, crack them open.

• 1:01:20H. Foley?

  Where do seashells come from?

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  So how does a clam-

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  This feels like a stupid kugel.

• 1:01:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, never seen an otter crack open an oyster?

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no, no, no. Buddy, I'm all on board with that. I'm saying that, that for sure happens. But how, how are they washing up in Wildwood that I start using-

• 1:01:44H. Foley?

  Cause they throw them in the water when they're done.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Okay, so where's the nearest otter to Wildwood?

• 1:01:47H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  I get that. So you're-

• 1:01:49H. Foley?

  There's blue crabs in the ocean, right? You give me that?

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:52H. Foley?

  You give me that?

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm just trying to understand the logic.

• 1:01:56H. Foley?

  A blue crab goes in, rips open the fucking clam, eats it, breaks the shell, the rest of the, uh, nature eats out the rest of the crap in the shell, and then it washes up on the, on the, on the shore. And your fat ass picks it up.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Puts a butt out of it.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  With that ration between your legs.

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  Um- Oysters build their own shells.

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  Not oysters, dog.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:02:18H. Foley?

  Seashells. How does seashells get made?

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:02:21H. Foley?

  Where do seashells come from?

• 1:02:24H. Foley?

  It's up with the oysters. Yes, oysters make their own shell, which is nuts. How the fuck does that thing make its own shell?

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Marine animals called mollusks such as clams, oysters, and snails which secrete minerals and calcium carbonate from their specialized mantle tissue, uh, to form their hard protective exoskeletons. When the mollusks dies, the soft body- Decomposes, leaving the empty shells. Yeah, so they die. When the mollusks die, yeah, so like, I think I was right, the natural life cycle of, these things don't live for fucking, you know? They die, it could be five years, 10 years, a thousand years.

• 1:02:58H. Foley?

  How long do oysters live for?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  They die and they open up and then they wash. For an otter, I mean, there'd have to be a bajillion otters cracking shells open all day long. For that, for that many shells.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  Like a vet eating pistachios at a bar.

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  Dude, just like fucking, like you're at the Texas Roadhouse, dropping the shells. That's, yeah, no, wait.

• 1:03:19H. Foley?

  I'm sorry, Lukey.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  That's like my boy told-

• 1:03:21H. Foley?

  I yelled at you about the oysters.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 1:03:23H. Foley?

  How long do they live for?

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  25 to 30 years.

• 1:03:25H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here. What?

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Not on my plate.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  15 seconds. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, though.

• 1:03:33H. Foley?

  What a fun one, gang. We can't thank you enough for joining us. Uh, make sure you get your tickets to the Back on the Block Tour, which starts very, very soon, be out on the left coast. Gonna have a good, good time. Come and see us, we love ya.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Seattle, Portland, San Fran, LA, get them tickets.

• 1:03:45H. Foley?

  Love you, we'll see you next week.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  Peace!