Pod Insights Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Staff Review With Laurie Kilmartin About this episode Conan sits down with staff writer Laurie Kilmartin about her journey from college swimming to performing standup four nights a week, how to keep Conan entertained by his own jokes, and why writing for the Oscars is a lot like computer coding.
Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:23 Speaker 01 Nice.
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0:42 Conan O'Brien? Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.
0:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:46 Conan O'Brien? Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.
0:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:48 Conan O'Brien? I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?
0:53 Speaker 01 A vase.
0:55 Conan O'Brien? No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.
0:57 Speaker 01 A jacket.
0:59 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.
1:01 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.
1:02 Conan O'Brien? So now you have to do it, because you said you would.
1:03 Speaker 01 Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.
1:05 Conan O'Brien? Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me. Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.
1:43 Speaker 02 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.
1:53 Conan O'Brien? Okay, in the past, this slot has usually been a time when I would talk to fans around the world. But today's a little different. I'm gonna talk to someone who's definitely not a fan of mine.
2:05 Conan O'Brien? No, we've been doing this lately and I'm really enjoying it. Oscars are coming up soon. As we tape this, it's, I think it's about three weeks away. And we've been working very hard. I'm working with an incredible team of writers. Many of them I've worked with for a long time. And I've been having them come upstairs and chat with me a little bit. And it's been really fun. And that continues today with Laurie Kilmar. Laurie, thank you for coming on.
2:35 Speaker 03 Oh, I hope it continues today.
2:37 Conan O'Brien? Yes, yes. That's it, you're out.
2:41 Conan O'Brien? No, Laurie.
2:42 Speaker 03 He was right, it was fun.
2:44 Conan O'Brien? Get back down there.
2:47 Conan O'Brien? Laurie, you are an incredible stand-up comedian and you've worked with me for a long time.
2:54 Speaker 03 Thank you.
2:54 Conan O'Brien? And always done an incredible job and worked with me on the Oscars last year. And Laurie has a very special role, which is Laurie, because she's a great stand-up, she's the one that has become my life coach when I go out into the world and try Oscar jokes out. So Laurie's the one that says, "We're gonna get you out there now, Conan." And I say, "All right, okay." And you're very verbally abusive. And then you've been picking all these amazing spots. Some of them I've been to before, some of them I haven't.
3:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:32 Conan O'Brien? And it's really fun.
3:36 Conan O'Brien? But you are so dialed into these places. And then you watch me do my set and you have great instincts about which ones work, which ones may need a tweak, which ones should probably go by their wayside. But let's go back to the beginning, which is you come to my attention. How did that happen? I'm trying to remember.
3:57 Speaker 03 Ooh, well, I started on the TBS show.
3:59 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
3:59 Speaker 03 So I think that's a, that was my third packet. I think I'd done a packet for The Tonight Show and Late Night, too. So the third one worked, I guess.
4:08 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, well, The Tonight Show, there wasn't a lot of time there.
4:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't know if he got around to reading it.
4:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I was starting to open the envelope when that thing blew up. But, and subsequently, when you first came. To work for me, I had not seen your stand-up. And then, we toured together. And I got to see your, your stand-up every night, which is phenomenal. Just phenomenal.
4:31 Speaker 03 Oh, thanks. I, I don't know, I like, I look back, I'm like, oh, that bit was still, I was still working on it. It got sharper and, but I'm glad you liked what you saw.
4:40 Conan O'Brien? Because you have that kind of mind, you're never gonna say, oh yeah, thanks. You're gonna say, eh, this was a little eh. But, um, I'm telling you, it was phenomenal.
4:49 Speaker 03 Oh, thank you.
4:50 Conan O'Brien? And, uh, and you have such a good eye and ear that you've been, uh, just a great help to me. In, in terms of, um, what stuff works, how to tweak a joke, when something isn't hitting the ear quite right. And, that's really helpful. Um, and I'm just curious, when did you decide, okay, I'm gonna be a stand-up? Like, this is, because that's a leap that everyone comes to differently. How did it happen for you?
5:19 Speaker 03 Well, um, I would, I had sort of, I dropped out of college and I had kind of a breakdown. Due to various things all colliding at once in my head, you know?
5:28 Conan O'Brien? You were a very good athlete.
5:29 Speaker 03 I was okay. I was a swimmer. I swam for UCLA, but I was like, it was, they were in a rebuilding phase. Like, I would never make the team now. They were like, low-level Division One when I was there. And, uh, and so, uh, so yeah, and then I had quit swimming and whatever.
5:47 Conan O'Brien? So you go through this period of your life where things are rough?
5:49 Speaker 03 Exactly. And then I started to, I don't know, I, I went and saw some stand-up and I, I'm not the only one that who's come to stand-up this way. Where, where you, you see some great stand-up and you're like, oh, I could never do that. That's amazing. And then you see someone who's not good and they're, they're on the bill and you're like, wait a minute.
6:08 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
6:08 Speaker 03 That person's a comic?
6:09 Conan O'Brien? They're the true inspirations.
6:11 Speaker 03 They are.
6:11 Conan O'Brien? No one ever says that. The true inspirations are people like, how did that ass get up there?
6:15 Speaker 03 Yes, exactly, exactly. So, uh, I saw a bunch of that and, uh, so I started in San Francisco, cause I'm from the Bay Area, so that's where I kinda...
6:24 Conan O'Brien? And San Francisco is such a great place.
6:26 Speaker 03 It's great, yeah.
6:27 Conan O'Brien? For stand-up.
6:27 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. There's this guy named, um, oh my god, his name was, I forget his last name. He was a, a former porn star who, um, and Native American and was like one of like 11 or 16 children. Some crazy backstory, uh, but he was the bartender at the Holy City Zoo. And he knew Robin Williams and he was around when Robin had started too. And so he was sort of, um, the mother bird of all of us newer comics and giving us stage timing tips and stuff like that. And it, and like even though, I know I never had a bad situation with him, even though his backstory sounds troublesome.
7:05 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, but he-
7:06 Speaker 03 John Cantu.
7:07 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, and he saw, he saw something in you. He was like, okay, he was encouraging?
7:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, he was encouraging, but he's also running a class, so anytime someone's paying, they're always encouraging.
7:19 Conan O'Brien? But they're encouraging, but also they don't think you're ready just yet.
7:25 Speaker 03 One more session.
7:26 Conan O'Brien? I ran the same thing in improv, same thing in improv.
7:29 Speaker 03 Right.
7:29 Conan O'Brien? You're very good. I think a little more work. Really?
7:33 Speaker 03 How many levels does a school have?
7:36 Conan O'Brien? There's 11 more levels. You said this was the last one. I forgot about the other 11. So just make that check out too. Um, so you're doing that and you, had you worked on television shows before? Had you written for other comics? Cause that's a very different thing. You write for yourself and then writing for someone else's voice.
7:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, it is a big, it is a big thing. And, um, it's weird because you can definitely separate those two voices. There's never been a joke I've written for you or anybody else that I would have done myself. Um, so people always think that, you know, it must be so hard to give up that joke. It's like, no, no, it didn't, would not work in my act about me complaining about being a mother, you know?
8:19 Conan O'Brien? It's really funny.
8:22 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, many times I've seen you do-
8:25 Speaker 03 Conan's like, I'm not a single mom. Why does she keep giving me this stuff?
8:30 Conan O'Brien? I tried it last night, it killed.
8:34 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's fascinating to me because that's another fun thing I get to do. If I see you or Brian Kylie tell a really funny joke, I get to say, oh, too funny for me, huh? Like, why didn't you give me that? And you'll be like, you idiot.
8:48 Conan O'Brien? You never breastfed. Oh. Oh, oh, you're right.
8:52 Speaker 03 Kylie did though, so he deserves to tell it.
8:55 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, exactly. I breastfed Kylie. But.
9:00 Speaker 03 One tag too far.
9:02 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
9:04 Conan O'Brien? I always go too far.
9:07 Conan O'Brien? I don't do the late night, my late night show anymore. And I, I think so a while ago, Jimmy Kimmel contacted me and he was asking me about this Laurie Kilmartin. And I said, you are an absolute fool if you do not hire Laurie Kilmartin.
9:22 Speaker 03 I can't believe that conversation happened.
9:24 Conan O'Brien? She is the best. She is the best. But Jimmy was high at the time and he forgot. And then I had to call him and tell him again. He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, okay. But, so you've been killing it, not just for me, but for Jimmy as well. And now we're once again working on the Oscars and I'm curious. How do you think it's going so far? We're getting, we're getting close.
9:51 Speaker 03 I think we're way ahead of where we were this time last year. I think we have a lot more jokes that are ready.
9:56 Conan O'Brien? We have a lot of jokes.
9:57 Speaker 03 We do, and, and it's like, they could all change in the next three weeks too. Because we keep coming up with, yeah, it's.
10:02 Conan O'Brien? We keep coming up with new ones and then we always allow for, last year I remember, the actual show is a moving target.
10:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:12 Conan O'Brien? You can't lock down what you're gonna do a month out because in the world we live in now, things change day to day.
10:20 Speaker 03 Right.
10:21 Conan O'Brien? And something that's, a joke we might have thought was really funny. Uh, in December is now like, what were we thinking? That's not even something people think about anymore. That's out of the news. No one cares about that. Um, the big thing I have to fight is sometimes I just start to get tired of a joke because I've, it's been with me for a while.
10:40 Speaker 03 Right, right, right.
10:41 Conan O'Brien? And that's always been a little bit my issue when we, when we toured together and I had a, I don't know, like a 40-minute stand-up hunk.
10:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:50 Conan O'Brien? I remembered sometimes being, I don't want to say that again. I said that last night. Um, so I think that's one of the luxuries I've always had is just riffing foolishly about different things and I get bored if I have to say the same thing over and over and over.
11:05 Speaker 03 I know. In fact, there's one joke you told last night. I'm like, oh, you gotta give that one a rest for a little bit because I think you are tired of it, you know? So, but I won't say it now, but yeah.
11:14 Conan O'Brien? Right. Um, that's good. We should try them all out right now.
11:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's do it.
11:19 Conan O'Brien? And everyone's really, all the writers are really mad at me. You just, that thing went out.
11:24 Speaker 03 What? You just burned 80 jokes.
11:26 Conan O'Brien? You just burned 80 jokes. Yeah, that can happen where I just start to feel, it's almost like my brain becomes overly familiar with it and it's no, when something's no longer magical and fun to me, I can't fake it.
11:39 Speaker 03 Well, yeah. Plus with you, every night you've, you've told different jokes. So you, you aren't used to going up and doing the same jokes and then finding, like trying to take two months to find a tag or something like that, you know? So for you, it's, it's got to feel really, really repetitive.
11:52 Conan O'Brien? But also I love the joking around between the jokes so much.
11:55 Speaker 03 I know, I know, I know.
11:56 Conan O'Brien? That, um, sometimes I'm getting off on some jag and people in a club are liking it and I'm sure you guys are watching saying, we're trying to try out these jokes and you're going off on a 10 minutes about your brother Neil and you're getting laughs and so you're getting drunk off of it. Get to the jokes.
12:15 Speaker 03 But I, I do think that's what's so great about doing these little sets is, is you're clicking into your stage persona.
12:21 Conan O'Brien? Oh, yeah.
12:22 Speaker 03 Which is different from podcast and bursting into the writer's room and, uh, so.
12:25 Conan O'Brien? I don't know that it's that different from bursting in the, bursting in the writer's room is sort of more of my like MMA persona.
12:31 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah, but it, but it, it gets, it gets that very unique muscle, you know, going again. And, and because you can't like do 10 minutes about Neil at the Oscars.
12:42 Conan O'Brien? Oh, I'm going to.
12:44 Speaker 03 That would be amazing.
12:45 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I can just see Timothy Chalamet and Brad Pitt streaming out. People who are up for an Oscar leaving early. Okay, so we bought a lot of televisions.
12:56 Speaker 03 Just test me. Yeah.
12:57 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
12:58 Speaker 03 But you get it out of, that part out of your system now, but you also get that muscle ready for when you're in the big show. And then you had some really funny riffs after the jokes last night that we all thought would work with the jokes. You did too.
13:09 Conan O'Brien? Oh, good.
13:16 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
13:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, I love awards.
13:20 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way.
13:22 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
13:23 Conan O'Brien? Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen.
13:26 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
13:27 Conan O'Brien? You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
13:34 Speaker 03 Nice.
13:34 Conan O'Brien? Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.
13:43 Speaker 03 I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.
13:47 Conan O'Brien? I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.
13:51 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
13:51 Conan O'Brien? Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?
14:06 Speaker 03 Hello!
14:07 Conan O'Brien? They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
14:42 Conan O'Brien? When it comes to insurance, Farmers doesn't like surprises. That's why there's Farmers coverage on a page. What is it, you ask? Did you ask? I don't think you did, but let's pretend you did.
14:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay, let's go. What is that?
14:53 Conan O'Brien? It's your coverage on a page, pretty straightforward.
14:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:57 Conan O'Brien? That's good, because sometimes it gets confusing, you know? What am I covered for? What am I not? Here, it's all on a page. Does your insurance do that? Get a quote to get started at Farmers.com. Don't be confused, don't wonder. Farmers makes it pretty clear. Underwritten by Farmers Truck or Fire Insurance Exchanges or affiliate. Products not available in every state.
15:19 Conan O'Brien? This fall, I want to try something different.
15:21 Speaker 01 What?
15:22 Conan O'Brien? I like to change it up. I like to learn things. So I'm going to try and make apple cider.
15:25 Speaker 01 Oh.
15:25 Conan O'Brien? Every morning.
15:26 Speaker 01 Okay.
15:27 Conan O'Brien? This fall, just to see if I can do it.
15:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:29 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, fall is the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.
15:33 Speaker 01 Oh, that's good.
15:34 Conan O'Brien? See what I did?
15:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:35 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?
15:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:39 Conan O'Brien? They're America's best network.
15:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
15:41 Conan O'Brien? True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.
15:48 Speaker 01 Oh, that's weird.
15:49 Conan O'Brien? When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.
15:50 Speaker 01 Oh.
15:51 Conan O'Brien? And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the
15:58 Speaker 01 You travel a lot.
15:58 Conan O'Brien? travel show that I do.
15:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:00 Conan O'Brien? Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
16:10 Speaker 01 That doesn't seem like a good idea.
16:12 Conan O'Brien? It's a great idea.
16:12 Speaker 01 Okay.
16:13 Conan O'Brien? You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?
16:18 Speaker 01 My god.
16:19 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.
16:23 Speaker 01 I agree.
16:23 Conan O'Brien? T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to tmobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US, where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit tmobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.
16:47 Speaker 01 Oh.
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18:11 Conan O'Brien? I'm really loving it.
18:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:12 Conan O'Brien? I enjoy going to, as I said, some of the places I've been before. But there's this ecosystem in LA of all these cool little spots.
18:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:22 Conan O'Brien? Some are way out in Covina.
18:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:24 Conan O'Brien? Some are, I mean, really, I mean, who lives in Covina? Oh, hi, Eduardo. How are you? Oh, shut up, shut up. No, no, it's fine, you know? I have my passport, I changed my currency.
18:36 Speaker 03 Oh, God.
18:37 Conan O'Brien? Uh, no, no, it's, no, but it was, and that was one of my favorite clubs. It's fantastic.
18:42 Speaker 03 Chatterbox, yeah.
18:43 Conan O'Brien? But, and, uh, Chatterbox in, in Covina. It's really fun because you get to hang out with the comics outside. And it's this, it's very communal, it's really fun. I like all that young energy. People are really nice and, and, and each club is very different.
19:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:03 Conan O'Brien? And there are places that, I'm guessing you've played all these places?
19:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, mhm, mhm, yeah.
19:08 Conan O'Brien? And so, um, and you do stand up, you do stand up a lot.
19:11 Speaker 03 I do, I do. I try to do it, uh, for, I'll say four nights a week.
19:16 Conan O'Brien? That's a lot.
19:17 Speaker 03 Yeah. But here in LA, it's, it's like one spot a night. It's not, it's not great. Like in New York, you can do, when I go back to New York, I can do like at least six a night, you know? Um, on a Friday or Saturday. And then, you know, one or two at least on a, on a Monday.
19:32 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, here it's covering the distances.
19:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:34 Conan O'Brien? It's literally, I mean, last night I was in, uh, was it?
19:38 Speaker 03 Atwater Village. Yeah, TG's, yeah.
19:40 Conan O'Brien? TG's. I was at TG's in Atwater Village. And so, um, that's a long haul to get to.
19:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:48 Conan O'Brien? And, but, once you're there... Uh, it's again, really fun.
19:54 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
19:54 Conan O'Brien? It was great.
19:55 Speaker 01 It was great. I mean, it was packed and it's great to have people so close to you. You know, just your surround sound of laughter.
20:02 Conan O'Brien? It's also, it's also fun to be a surprise.
20:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:05 Conan O'Brien? There's some, somehow the pressure's off.
20:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, for sure.
20:08 Conan O'Brien? You know, they're there and then suddenly I show up and you can always see them registering,
20:15 Conan O'Brien? you know, uh, how I've aged when I first get up there.
20:18 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't think so.
20:20 Conan O'Brien? I know. No, it's funny. No, it's just funny how people are like, if there are people that have only seen you on TV and some of them have been seeing me on TV since I was, you know.
20:30 Speaker 01 Or clips are coming up and stuff like that.
20:32 Conan O'Brien? And they just saw me last night talking to, uh, you know, Mary Lou Retton when I'm 30.
20:39 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
20:40 Conan O'Brien? You know what I mean?
20:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:41 Conan O'Brien? And I'm.
20:41 Speaker 01 But you're also a big presence. Like, you're a big person and you're like stumbling, not stumbling.
20:46 Conan O'Brien? I don't stumble.
20:47 Speaker 01 I'm sorry, I know. As soon as I said it, I was like, you're not stumbling.
20:51 Conan O'Brien? Well, I, maybe I was stumbling.
20:52 Speaker 01 Like a giant, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, it's.
20:55 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, but it's been, it's been, uh. This is going really well. It's been a good time. Now, um, it's, what's really strange, this is all behind the scenes stuff, is we're sort of, we're here at the office. This is where we do the podcast. This is where we do the, uh, production and editing for the HBO Travel Show. We have all different kind of meetings here, different projects. It's like our little Keebler elf tree. And what's gonna happen in two weeks is we're gonna move into the Dolby Theater.
21:24 Speaker 01 Right.
21:24 Conan O'Brien? And that's gonna be, I remember that last year being, oh, wow, this is real.
21:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, right.
21:30 Conan O'Brien? We've been living here and imagining things and then you actually see the space.
21:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:35 Conan O'Brien? And then we get into, um, you know, we ordered some kooky prop and it shows up. And I'm like, we wanted a stuffed mule and, uh, we didn't, I'm just making this up, but.
21:48 Speaker 01 Stuffed mule would be great.
21:49 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
21:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, I want one now.
21:51 Conan O'Brien? Get a stuffed mule.
21:52 Speaker 01 I know, yeah.
21:53 Conan O'Brien? And then you're arguing with really serious, talented people about how the mule should be.
21:58 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh.
21:58 Conan O'Brien? You pictured it differently.
22:01 Conan O'Brien? And how is it gonna fire a rocket out of its ear? You know, all that kind of craziness. That's the part where things really level up.
22:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:09 Conan O'Brien? Which is exciting.
22:10 Speaker 03 And I remember sitting at a rehearsal last year and a lot of celebrities had stand ins or they just use stand ins. And a stand in for Ariana Grande started singing and I'm like, oh my god, she sounds just like Ariana Grande and it was her.
22:25 Conan O'Brien? Which I didn't think, what?
22:27 Speaker 03 Yes, she was at rehearsal singing, it was like 25 of us in the audience.
22:30 Conan O'Brien? You thought it was a stand in?
22:32 Speaker 03 Yes.
22:32 Conan O'Brien? Hey, she's not bad. Did you tell her? You know, maybe you should try.
22:38 Conan O'Brien? That's really funny of all of the A-list celebrities, because they do have actors often who look nothing like them.
22:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:46 Conan O'Brien? And they all get up, they don't know who the winner is, but they'll say, and the winner is Timmy Chalamet, and then a, you know, a black woman will get up on stage, but she'll give a real speech.
23:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:01 Conan O'Brien? As Timothy Chalamet. And it's kinda cool.
23:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:04 Conan O'Brien? Uh, and I channel that sometimes because I did that once.
23:09 Speaker 03 Oh.
23:09 Conan O'Brien? I did that once, I think we talked about this, but I did it years ago at like a VH1 Award when I was working on Saturday Night Live and I heard, hey, they need seat filler stand ins for this VH1 Award, so I, you know, sat in the audience. We weren't working at the time, I think I got like, I don't know what I got, like a hundred dollars or something, but I went and I sat in the crowd and then they said, and the winner is David Bowie, and I got to stand up.
23:33 Speaker 03 Oh neat.
23:33 Conan O'Brien? And thank everybody and.
23:35 Speaker 03 I wouldn't do that.
23:36 Conan O'Brien? It was fun.
23:37 Speaker 03 That sounds fun.
23:38 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
23:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:39 Conan O'Brien? You're fired, now you can go do it.
23:43 Conan O'Brien? So, yeah, that's gonna, things are gonna get real. What else do you remember from last year?
23:47 Speaker 03 Well, what I remember now, what we were all talking about in the mono team is that we wanna make sure we have big cork boards up and back where we are so we can keep track of jokes a little bit better. I think we were just like flipping through cards and trying to.
24:00 Conan O'Brien? It looked like we were doing an illicit three card money game last year, and you think, this is the Oscars.
24:06 Speaker 03 I know.
24:07 Conan O'Brien? And I'm performing for all these people around the world and we're like, where's that joke? I don't know. And then it's attached to someone's ass and it has gum on it.
24:15 Speaker 03 Right. I mean, we'll have the monoset, but the stuff like, you know, that you'll say later in the show, if something wins or something gets on a streak, I guess we just want to have-
24:24 Conan O'Brien? If this, then that. It's almost like coding.
24:26 Speaker 03 Yes, yes, yes.
24:27 Conan O'Brien? You know, if this movie wins, we have this great joke.
24:30 Speaker 03 Right, right, right.
24:30 Conan O'Brien? If that movie loses, we have this great joke.
24:32 Speaker 03 Yeah. I remember us just like going, wait, we had something and kind of panicking and then thought of it at the last second, but it'll be nice to have that a little bit more organized. And I think we hadn't gotten backstage until in our area until the show was starting in an hour, you know, so we didn't realize, oh, that would have been nice to have had we thought that. So, you know, that's the, we'll be doing that better this year, I think.
24:56 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. It is fun, I have to say. It's a lot of work and it's nerve wracking, but it is fun.
25:04 Speaker 03 Oh, my god.
25:05 Conan O'Brien? And then, you know, you just, and then you're always thinking, I hope it's a good room. Last year I was, I mean, I think last year I was thinking, how's it gonna be a good room? And they were good.
25:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, we had the fires, of course, you know, and then I feel like at this time last year, we were also awash in Sofia Carla Gascon drama.
25:24 Conan O'Brien? Oh, that's right.
25:25 Speaker 03 Yes.
25:26 Conan O'Brien? We had so many jokes about her. Amelia Perez.
25:29 Speaker 03 Yes, yeah, yeah.
25:29 Conan O'Brien? And, you know, we were just trying to figure out, again, is that scandal, wait, what's the trajectory now? That's the big story today?
25:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:38 Conan O'Brien? But will it still be the big story in a week? Or how do we handle it?
25:41 Speaker 03 Is she gonna be there?
25:42 Conan O'Brien? Is she gonna be there? And what's a joke that isn't, doesn't go too far this way or that way? And it's just, it's a lot of trying to navigate.
25:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:53 Conan O'Brien? You know, let's pitch the sail correctly so it catches the wind in just the right way and it's, and we, boy, we get into arguments.
26:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, for sure.
26:02 Conan O'Brien? Which is probably happening right now, just a floor below us.
26:06 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm, yeah.
26:07 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. My ritual is, I like to come, I like to kick the door open in a very dramatic way.
26:12 Speaker 03 Yes.
26:13 Conan O'Brien? And you guys all go, whoa! And then I come in and I think I waste time mostly.
26:18 Speaker 03 You do, but...
26:23 Conan O'Brien? I do all my bits. You guys are patiently.
26:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, we, we watched, uh, what's, what's the, um, what did we watch yesterday for like a half hour? Sarah Jessica Parker, the sequel. And Just Like That. Just Like That, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:37 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah. Someone was talking about, there's a, something on that show, so we watched that.
26:41 Speaker 03 Yes.
26:42 Conan O'Brien? I said, "Let's call it up." And so we're watching that, and then we all, you know, and I said at that moment, "If someone from the Academy comes by, and we're all watching It Just Like That, and Just Like That, they're gonna say, um, we're screwed."
26:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:55 Conan O'Brien? But, uh, yeah, we will pull up things on the internet. I mean, it's a typical writer's room.
27:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, you gotta waste time.
27:01 Conan O'Brien? Where you have to waste time. I maintain that wasting time is somehow useful if we're all laughing.
27:08 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
27:08 Conan O'Brien? But I might just be trying to justify.
27:10 Speaker 01 I was gonna say, I think you're just telling yourself that, so you could waste everybody's time. And Just Like That, you guys watched that for a half an hour?
27:18 Conan O'Brien? I think so.
27:19 Speaker 03 It was really enjoyable.
27:21 Speaker 01 A whole episode?
27:22 Speaker 03 Yes.
27:22 Conan O'Brien? There was an episode specifically, it took place in a stand-up club, and...
27:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, of a comedy concert?
27:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.
27:29 Conan O'Brien? So, it was just, you know, it's one of those things where, you know, we start chatting, and then the next thing you know, we're all watching television. And then, I can always tell that, "Oh, I should've left 10 minutes ago." Uh, what I try and do is leave on a laugh. If I get a big laugh, I try and get out the door fast. But if someone stops me on my way out the door, then I think I have to get another laugh. It's terrible.
27:49 Speaker 03 Well, it's the version of a writer's room, what you do on stage when you're messing around with the audience up front. It kinda gets your, gets that part of your brain going, but it's not the official jokes, you know? I think it's a good reprieve for the brain, and then we all go back to...
28:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
28:00 Speaker 03 Trying to deal with the, the setup that Sinners has 16 Oscar nominations.
28:07 Conan O'Brien? Well, that's the other thing too, is we're always looking for premises, and sometimes we look too hard, and a writer will write all these jokes about, you know, "Did you realize that, uh, the first, um, Best Cinematography..."
28:19 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
28:20 Conan O'Brien? "...award was handed out in 1947?"
28:25 Conan O'Brien? And then they write five jokes about that. And I think, I've lost the audience with the setup to that joke.
28:32 Speaker 03 I still get made fun of because last year we were sweating and Isabella Rossellini was nominated. So one of my setups was that she had a bed and breakfast in New York.
28:41 Conan O'Brien? That's right. That's right. Hey, did you know Isabella Rossellini is nominated for an Academy Award? Didn't you know she has a bed and breakfast in Ryan, New York? Can you imagine?
28:53 Speaker 03 That would be your top 15 jokes at the Oscars.
28:55 Conan O'Brien? And I looked down and one of the Skarsgård's is just like, what the fuck? Yeah, Ryan, New York. Yeah. Yeah, you can, you can take the Taconic. Conan O'Brien loses audience. After a strong start, O'Brien went on a 30-minute discourse on how hard it must be to run a bed and breakfast in upstate New York.
29:18 Speaker 03 But Rossellini's booked for the rest of the year.
29:22 Speaker 01 It's great advertisement.
29:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Oh, she'd be thrilled.
29:27 Speaker 01 Does she really, though?
29:28 Speaker 03 She does.
29:29 Speaker 01 She does?
29:30 Speaker 03 She does, yeah.
29:30 Conan O'Brien? Is she there at the bed and breakfast?
29:32 Speaker 03 I don't think so.
29:33 Conan O'Brien? Are you gonna re-pitch this joke this year?
29:34 Speaker 03 I think I will.
29:36 Conan O'Brien? And this year it'll be even funnier because it's like, Isabella Rossellini not nominated this year, but did you know she has a bed and breakfast in upstate New York?
29:44 Speaker 03 Well, I did find out that Jessie Buckley's great-grandmother was he in the Irish Civil War, fighting for the Irish.
29:51 Conan O'Brien? Oh, there you go.
29:52 Speaker 01 Wow.
29:52 Speaker 03 Yes.
29:53 Conan O'Brien? Well, that's always, bringing up the Irish Civil War always gets them laughing.
29:57 Speaker 01 Great premise.
29:58 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
29:58 Speaker 01 That's a good one.
29:59 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. How about the famine? You got any good Irish famine jokes? Of course, we won't have that problem tonight because we got plenty of food at the buffet. So I'm just saying, I'm allowed to do it.
30:11 Speaker 03 Oh, man.
30:13 Conan O'Brien? Well, this is really fun and I am honored and thrilled that you helping me out again.
30:18 Speaker 03 Thank you for having me back.
30:19 Conan O'Brien? You are the best.
30:20 Speaker 03 And thank you to Jimmy Kimmel for letting me have eight weeks off to come here, too.
30:24 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I'm sorry, Jimmy, but yeah, and he's mad about it, too. I can tell.
30:30 Speaker 03 I bet.
30:31 Conan O'Brien? No, you know what? And true thanks to him because when you were on my staff, writing jokes for me, I would not have let you go for eight weeks for anything. If you were doing a blood transfusion, I would not let you go. But so thank you very much, Jimmy. And yeah, let's get back downstairs.
30:51 Speaker 03 Let's get back downstairs.
30:54 Speaker 04 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
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