THIS Will Change Your Life w/ Jamie Kern Lima + HUGE Announcement!!!

I've never done this before! Want to join ME and Jamie Kern Lima for a LIVE coaching session?! All you have to do is go to https://worthybook.com/ed and pre-order Jamie's new book, "Worthy" and you'll get FREE ACCESS! This week is particularly special for me because I’m welcoming back one of my DEAREST AND CLOSEST friends, Jamie Kern Lima to the show and she’s dropping a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT + sharing an opportunity that I’ve NEVER done before… YOU are invited to a FREE LIVE COACHING CALL with me and Jamie! Get ready for an extraordinary episode that holds the key to unlocking your self-worth and achieving true fulfillment. Jamie is a self-made billionaire, New York Times Bestselling author, Co-Founder of IT Cosmetics, speaker, and one of my BEST friends. This remarkable interview will leave you inspired and empowered as we discuss: Exploring the crucial distinction between self-confidence and self-worth How your childhood shapes your sense of self-worth The link between self-worth and fulfillment Jamie's incredible story of meeting the iconic OPRAH Actionable steps to nurture and expand your own worthiness Embracing the powerful truth that rejection is often divine protection Understanding the profound impact of serving others on our self-worth Confronting the detrimental consequences of hiding in plain sight Get ready for an hour of vulnerability, revelation, and invaluable lessons as Jamie shares her journey of overcoming countless rejections and her own perceived shortcomings. It's a dialogue you won't want to miss—a conversation that will guide you toward embracing your own self-worth and unlocking your limitless potential. Join us on this incredible journey of self-discovery and growth. Get ready to embrace your worthiness and rewrite the narrative of your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it waiting weeks on a big bank for capital. Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is The Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:42Ed Mylett?

  Well, today's gonna be awesome, you guys. For a few reasons. The lady sitting across from me is one of the most important people in my life. One of my most cherished, cherished friends in the world. Maybe even my bestie, if I'm being real. And so having a conversation that I get to share, the two of us together with you today is an honor. She's been on the show before and it was one of the most downloaded, at the time it was the most downloaded show of all time. Her story is incredible. In case you don't know it, this is a woman who basically went from, first off, she was adopted as a child. But she went from being a waitress at Denny's to a billionaire. And so she's waiting tables at Denny's and many, many years later, through a whole bunch of struggle

• 2:26Ed Mylett?

  and ups and downs and rejections, this woman ended up selling her company for over a billion dollars to L'Oréal and became the first female CEO of that company at that time. And has become one of the most prolific influencers and speakers in the world, male or female. But most importantly, she's somebody that I trust and I admire and that I go to for advice. And so Jamie Kern Lima, welcome back to the show.

• 2:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Ed, I love it. Okay, I'm gonna start crying before we even, this is a big day, a big episode. I'm so excited and honored to be here with you. So thank you for having me.

• 2:59Ed Mylett?

  It's great to have you. And the reason it's a big deal is not only because we're here together, but you all are getting the worldwide announcement and premiere of Jamie's new book that will be coming out in a little while, in a few months. But you can get access to it right now. Jamie's got a new book out. It's called Worthy. And it is going to change your life. And you can get, because you're in my audience and we're such good friends, you were the first people in the world to hear about this book anywhere in the world. You can go to worthybook.com/Ed. And by the way, before we get into this epic conversation, if you go do that right now, you're gonna get access to a unbelievable opportunity, which is an event with Jamie and I, just the two of us on Zoom. You can enjoy out of the

• 3:43Ed Mylett?

  comfort of your home. And the two of us together will be pouring all our inspiration and strategies on to you if you go get that book right now. So worthybook.com/Ed. Did I do a good job right there?

• 3:54Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, it's so good. I'm excited and it's live. I love this idea. You and I are gonna be live on a Zoom. Just you and me with just the people listening and watching right now. And it's gonna be powerful, right?

• 4:06Ed Mylett?

  It is gonna be unbelievable. So, you're a billionaire. You're a wife, you're a mother, you're a friend, you're a keynote speaker. You do all of these things and everybody's coming to you for advice and guidance and coaching. Why did you write this book right now? Because like, like you need another thing on your plate like nobody does. So why did you do this?

• 4:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  Self-worth, feeling like you are enough, right? I think at our core, so many of us, men, women, doesn't matter how successful we are, doesn't matter what we've accomplished, right? If we don't believe that we are enough at our core, we'll never be happy, we'll never be fulfilled. And here is this huge epiphany I've had in my life over, you know, through accomplishing so many different things, things I thought would finally make me feel enough, all of that. And what I realized, Ed, is in life, and this is universal, I believe this to my core, for every person who's with us right now, in life, you don't rise to what you believe is possible, you fall to what you believe you're worthy of.

• 5:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I just, you know, there's a lot of things that, you know, I want, or this or that. And I realized at my core, I either sabotaged them or I never went for them because deep down inside, I actually didn't feel I was enough. And so this is a book that is years and years and years and years of the making. It's a book that is packed with stories I've never shared before and lessons that had I not learned them the hard way, I could have never gone from Denny's waitress, as you mentioned, to building a billion-dollar company because I wouldn't have believed I was worthy of it.

• 5:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And in life, it's like so many people focus just on, okay, you gotta have clarity on your goals and dreams, and that's really important, you have to have clarity. Or, you know, you need to know your why. And that's also really important to know your why for what you're doing or your why for every hope and dream and goal. And it's like, okay, no, now you gotta take massive action. It's like you do, you do have to take massive action. But those three things, knowing what you want, you know, knowing why you want it, working really, really hard, or taking action, they're important, they're critical, but they're not enough to actually... Get your goals or hopes or dreams or the kind of life or relationships that you want to happen. Because if you don't believe they're possible and you don't actually believe you're worthy of them,

• 6:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  you'll never get them.

• 6:29Ed Mylett?

  A hundred percent.

• 6:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And if you get them, but you don't believe you're worthy, you'll lose them or you'll find a way to sabotage them.

• 6:35Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, you guys, go back that last two minutes. What she just said is a 100% truth. It's 100% true. And just so you all know, Jamie does not brag. You cannot get Jamie to talk about herself. You can go five, six hours and we're like, okay, we're gonna talk about you today and five hours later, you've been talking about yourself because she's just that way. And when she went away, we were together and she went away a few weeks later and wrote the book, the beginning of the book. And she called me, she goes, I'm just gonna tell you something. This is good. This is gonna be unbelievable. I'm so damn excited. And for her to tell me, by the way, I think I'm the first person that's read the book outside of like, you know, you and your family. And I have to tell you, I told her, I said, I was crying reading it. Because there's stories in there about her struggling with her own worth that she's never shared before that are incredibly vulnerable,

• 7:20Ed Mylett?

  very courageous stories to tell. At the same time, she's, Jamie's a tactician. And so there are strategies and tactics in this book, some of which we're gonna cover here today, that'll help you with this worthiness concept. So I'm asking you this, I'm just curious. How about right now? Like, you sit in front of me, you've had all these accomplishments. Do you still have any struggles with the stuff like to this day with? Because stuff I teach people how to get better at, most of the time it's still stuff that I'm working on myself and I struggle. So does Jamie Kern Lima still struggle to this day with her worthiness?

• 7:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Every single day, every single day and a little less every single day. I think it's a lifelong journey. And here's a huge breakthrough that I'm gonna share first on your show. Never spoken about this before, but it is powerful. It's changed my life is there is a massive difference between self-confidence and self-worth.

• 8:12Ed Mylett?

  What's the difference?

• 8:13Jamie Kern Lima?

  Okay, so here's the thing. And y'all, when I had this breakthrough and really started doing the work here, it changed everything in my life. So self-confidence, right? It's deeply internal, of course, it's a trait. But it is most closely linked with external. Internal things. So, you know, the willingness to try, the confidence to try, the willingness to go for it, how you assess things on the outside, meaning how you assess your strengths, your skills, how you compare to others, right? Your self-confidence you build, and it's super, super important, but it is most closely linked to things that can fluctuate, that aren't always in your control, right? Like, there's the boxer story about how, you know, the boxer that wins is automatically

• 8:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  20% more, you know, better, a better boxer, because all of a sudden, they believe they are, right? Self-confidence, but all of a sudden, if that guy loses, or that woman loses, you know, three or four times in a row, their self-confidence can fluctuate.

• 9:08Ed Mylett?

  True.

• 9:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  And your self-worth is deeply internal. It's believing you are enough exactly as you are. You are enough, you are valuable, you're worthy exactly as you are. It's deeply internal, and it doesn't fluctuate based on external things. Now, here's the big breakthrough. You can be, so for anyone listening right, I'm gonna get fired up, I'm gonna jump out of the seat, jump out of the seat. For anyone listening right now, if you are someone who is like, okay, when this thing finally happens, then I'm gonna be enough, you know? When, when, when I finally get married, or have the kids, or I finally hit, you know, seven figures in my business, or eight figures, or nine figures, or 10 figures, when I finally get my six-pack, when I finally, right?

• 9:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  And then you get that thing, and it's like, okay, it's great for a minute.

• 9:56Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 9:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  But it's never quite enough.

• 9:59Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 9:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's because you have built confidence, you have built confidence in that journey. Now, you have confidence in your, in your body, in your six-pack. Now, you have confidence in your business, but your self-worth has not changed. And you, there are so many people, and this is me most of my entire life, where I thought, if I achieve enough, I'll finally feel enough. If I achieve, if I accomplish this thing, if I build a billion-dollar business, if I feel confident in a swimsuit, whatever it is, then I'll finally feel enough. But you can have all the confidence in the world, and you will not be fulfilled if you do not have strong self-worth. And that is huge, because...

• 10:39Ed Mylett?

  Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, can I just say something? Uh, wow. Uh, you just described me. Like, even now.

• 10:47Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Ed Mylett?

  I've worked. That is awesome what you just flipping said right there. Holy smokes. I, cause you and I talk all the time. You've never said that to me before. Whoa, so sorry, you guys. So I just wanna say this to you. I have really built a lot of self-confidence. But I don't know that I built that much self-worth. And so, it is why I haven't enjoyed a lot of the successes that I've had. And to the extent that I have, and you too.

• 11:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Ed Mylett?

  Man, you are on there. Do you think the self-worth thing for most people is, not all of it, but do you think a lot of it is shaped in childhood from experiences? Because I know being raised by an alcoholic, it's pretty hard to have a lot of self-worth, right? Because I don't think my dad had self-worth. And I think, I don't wanna assume everybody knows this. Tell them a little bit about your childhood. And do you think a lot of this has shaped self-worth early in our lives? I know there could be an event later where you're like, I just lost all my self-worth. He left me. Or I went bankrupt. Or she cheated on me, or whatever it might be. But I do think a lot of it can come from childhood.

• 11:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  It can. It's also, though, reinforced our whole life. We're in a, we're in a culture that rewards when you do things that get external applause. They're almost always tied to confidence, or productivity, or things that are external. And we grow up believing that if we do those things, we'll be happy. Every single, you know, commercial or ad, or most companies are based on, on, you know, you achieving an emotion if you get this thing, but it's almost always external. And then we're raised by, by families, often, whether they're well-intended, healthy or not, we've never learned this. We've never learned this.

• 12:23Ed Mylett?

  Where did you get this distinction from?

• 12:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  Huge breakthrough, actually, over a really mortifying, embarrassing story. I've never shared before, um, that has to do with Oprah. And, and, uh, and, and by the way, Ed, I wanna say, this is something I believe. Affects everybody. I think that, you know, if you really, I don't want to get too granular here because we'll be on for hours. But you think about, you know, I mean, look at our country, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It's something that we have to pursue. It's not like, oh, we shouldn't innately be happy, right? There's so many things all around us. I don't want to get started. I didn't come here to look cute today. Let's go. I'm like fired up. But here's the thing.

• 13:05Jamie Kern Lima?

  I, there's so many things all around us that tell us if we finally get the thing, if we finally are, you know, whatever, then we'll be happy. And I believe, I believe a couple of things. I believe you need both self-worth and self-confidence, right? Just because you have self-worth and believe you're enough as you are, doesn't mean you're now complacent and you're like just chilling. Because that's not a recipe for fulfillment either. But if you do not have self-worth, you will never be truly fulfilled, no matter how much you accomplish. So you need both, right? So you need both of those things. And this is why I wrote Worthy and it's why it's such a breakthrough. Because for anyone out there who does not feel like they're enough, and maybe you're really good at hiding it because you are crushing it in every area of your life.

• 13:47Jamie Kern Lima?

  Or you're just really good at being the strong one or whatever it might be. But I believe that that deep lack of internal worthiness is why nothing ever feels enough. It's why we don't feel enough. It's why we finally get that big thing and then we're not happy or fulfilled. Or it's why we sabotage things in our life because we don't believe we're worthy of them. And so how this happened for me is, you know, my, my whole life, I grew up watching Oprah in my living room. And that was sort of like, you know, I just, my whole life, I thought one day, you know, I am going to interview other people and share their stories with the world. And I just always knew and I had this knowing that made no sense, but I just knew I would meet her. I just knew it. And I was like this little girl in a suburb in Washington state.

• 14:30Ed Mylett?

  Like everybody else was, right?

• 14:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, yeah, like exactly. And, and, and, and, you know. When I eventually went, it's a long story that I'll cut because I want to get to the point of it. But I eventually met her at one of her live events backstage and after meeting her, I wrote her a very long email. And through sheer grace, it got forwarded and she eventually got it. And long story short, she invited me to lunch at her house. So, this is, I'm cutting through a lot of how this happened. But I had lunch with Oprah at her home.

• 15:04Ed Mylett?

  I had lunch with Oprah. Did you hear what she just said? Just so you know, this little girl who's adopted, who's watching her on television, ends up, you just knew. But now I'm invited. I mean, put yourself in this position, everybody. Whoever your hero is, and Oprah was your hero for the most part, right? Your hero is now inviting you to lunch because that part of it matters because of the rest of the story, what happens afterwards. So now you're going to go see Oprah. Go ahead.

• 15:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, I know. You're one of the few people on the planet that knows the story. Someone share it for the first time. And honestly, it's embarrassing, but you know, sometimes the biggest struggles or setbacks or mortifying moments or pain we go through is like not a setback, it's really a setup for what we're supposed to do. And this certainly was for me. So, I end up going to Oprah's house. Literally shaking in my boots, but also, you know, I was in this moment in my life. This was about five years ago, five or six years ago. Super confident. I was so confident. I had just, you know, my company was exploding and I was so proud of, you know,

• 16:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  impacting millions and millions of women and trying to change the definition of beauty in the industry and all these things. And I was really self-confident and also, of course, crazy nervous to meet her. And really actually sit down and we had lunch for several hours, just me and her. And at the very end of lunch at her house, she wrote down her cell number. She gave me her cellphone number. And said, "Call me anytime," you know, just like that. And I left and I did not call her for four years.

• 16:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  I didn't call her for four years. And when we talk about sabotaging something, right? And anyone out there who has done this in some area of their life, in a relationship, friendship, a career move, whatever it might be. This was like, for me, the person that, you know, my whole life. And now I have her cellphone number. For four years, I would tell myself things like, oh, you know what? Like, I don't have the right thing to say yet, but when I get the right thing, then I'm gonna call her. Or, oh, you know, everyone always wants something from her, right? I'd make up this story I'd tell myself. Everyone always wants things from her. I want to make sure she knows I don't, I don't, I don't want things from her. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm here for real, true friendship, so I'm not gonna bug her. Or I would always tell myself these versions of why I wasn't calling her.

• 17:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  And four years went by.

• 17:29Ed Mylett?

  It's incredible.

• 17:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I had this huge epiphany. I was like, oh, I'm not calling Oprah? Because deep down inside, I don't think I'm worthy of being her friend.

• 17:42Ed Mylett?

  In spite of all your success?

• 17:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yep, yep. So at that moment, I realized, this was a huge breakthrough, because I realized, oh, I have a lot of self-confidence, but not self-worth.

• 17:52Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, Jamie.

• 17:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  And you can have one without the other. And it's why when you keep accomplishing things, or you keep, you know, the thing finally happens, you finally, you know, get that dream relationship, you finally have the kids, or you finally have the breakthrough in your business. But you're like, why am I not happy? Why am I not fulfilled? Why isn't it not enough? Huge breakthrough for me. And when I realized it, A, I was super embarrassed, but B, I realized that is my head, my own self-doubt, my own lack of self-worth, telling me these things. But in my soul, I know, I am definitely worthy of being her friend, because I'm a kick-ass friend. Like, I'm a ride.

• 18:28Ed Mylett?

  You're an unbelievable friend.

• 18:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Like, I am a ride-or-die friend. Like, I, so I'm like, I know in my soul, I'm worthy of being her friend. And that was the moment I decided to call her.

• 18:39Ed Mylett?

  That's unreal.

• 18:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:41Ed Mylett?

  So, by the way, we're gonna talk about this, you and I, in our live day with everybody who goes to, by the way, I'm gonna just do it, because she's my friend, worthybook.com/ed. And I'm doing it because all of you listening are my friend, and I want you to have this book. I don't come out this hard on books, you guys know this, right? So I'm telling you, go do it, and then you're gonna get the time with Jamie and I as well.

• 19:02Ed Mylett?

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• 19:46Ed Mylett?

  Go to ro.co/mylet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety. Ro dot C-O slash safety. So when I end up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating, and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed, and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand-vetted by product specialists. They use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great, and I get compliments on it.

• 20:31Ed Mylett?

  Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're trying to refresh your space for fall or transform your space for Halloween. Use filters, custom photos, and reviews to find the right fit for your home. More than 20 million verified five-star reviews. 20 million. So transform your space with the pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com.

• 21:06Ed Mylett?

  But in spite of that day, give me something you've done, granular, we'll go granular, that has helped you begin to work on worthiness. Because this distinction, even in prepping for this, the reason I'm doing what I'm doing right now. We prepped, we talked about this, I've read the book, but I don't think I really made this correlative difference between confidence and worthiness. So what's something we could all do right now, a practice or a strategy for growing our worthiness level?

• 21:34Jamie Kern Lima?

  Okay, let's dive in. And two things, we'll get granular now, but the book obviously has so much more. And then when you and I do live, and I want to say thank you for this, I don't think I said thank you off the top. But you know, when you're an author, right? Why are we doing this? It's like, I never realized this before I wrote a book, is that when you preorder the book early, it's a huge gift to an author, because then retailers know like, oh, there's demand for it. Yeah, and so, you know, I just want to do something really, really special for everyone listening. And the fact that if they preorder the book and they're live on a Zoom with you and me.

• 22:10Ed Mylett?

  It's gonna be unreal.

• 22:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  Let's dive, like, we'll go deep into self doubt and the building self-worth. I'm so excited, so thank you again for that.

• 22:16Ed Mylett?

  So, by the way, everybody, she's gonna give you a tactic right now, but let me just say one thing to you. This is the only show, this is the worldwide announcement for her book. So I want to ask you, because you know, Jamie's so remarkable, and what you're gonna learn and feel today is so remarkable. Share this episode, because it's the way people are gonna find out the book's coming out, right? So please, share this episode. You can do it right now and keep listening or keep watching, but give us one thing we could do on our worthiness.

• 22:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  Okay, great, and it'll go away, by the way, I didn't even say that, sorry. But this is like something really special, just for pre-orders, but it'll go away. So if you want to be live with Ed, grab it now and share it.

• 22:50Ed Mylett?

  They're with me all the time, they're gonna want to be with you, but okay.

• 22:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, here's a big one for me is changing my relationship with rejection. And this is, you know, for every person listening, when you change your, and watching us too, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life.

• 23:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 23:05Jamie Kern Lima?

  You change your entire life. And I think, you know, fear of failure and rejection kills so many dreams. It keeps us stuck and...

• 23:17Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, this was huge for me. And so, just to take everyone through a tactical, let's just, let's just go there. Let's do a tactical exercise right now, because this is something that outside of this episode, you're gonna wanna reapply it, spend more time on it, do the work on it. But just right now, as you're listening or watching us, answer this question to yourself super honestly, super honestly. When you fail at something or get rejected, what is the first thought that goes through your head? Very first thought. When you fail at something or get rejected, what's the first thought that goes through your head? For me, most of my whole life, it's, oh, yep, there's proof again, I'm not enough.

• 23:57Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 23:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  I'm not enough.

• 23:59Ed Mylett?

  Sounds very familiar.

• 24:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, is that yours then?

• 24:01Ed Mylett?

  Yes, yes.

• 24:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  Same? Right now, whatever your thought that just came to your mind, right? That you just, your instant truth, first response, that is your current definition of rejection. Right? So for me, it's, oh, there's proof I'm not enough, right? For, for a lot of people, it's something like, oh, yep, I'm not smart enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm stupid, I'm, you know, X, Y, or Z, I didn't go to the right school, I didn't come from the right family, I don't have what it takes, I'm, oh yeah, it's because of my weight, oh, it's, whatever it might be, right? We all have this definition of, of rejection. And, and I want you to just take note of yours right now, because this is really powerful. Don't skip over this, this, this one thing will change your life.

• 24:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  If you take note of what is your current definition of rejection. For me, it's, I'm not enough, right? And...

• 24:50Ed Mylett?

  Can I tell you what mine's more specifically?

• 24:51Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Ed Mylett?

  Just a little bit more refined?

• 24:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 24:52Ed Mylett?

  Because I wanna meet you in the middle on it. I think mine is like, I don't belong here.

• 24:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 24:57Ed Mylett?

  So it's slightly different, but like, I don't belong here. I don't know, I, I think there's probably some things where when I was a kid, my dad was like, yeah, we don't belong. But if I get into an environment, I, I don't belong here, if it's a big stage to speak on, or a room that I'm in, or people that are smarter than me, I don't belong here. I feel like I just physically, literally don't belong. Or even different things I've achieved, or levels, or, like, the first time I even walked into a country club I wanted to join. I don't belong here. They don't know the real me. Like, I don't belong here. And so that's, I don't, I just want to give the phraseology from me. Maybe it's, could be male, female. It could be just person to person that's different.

• 25:39Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 25:39Ed Mylett?

  Keep going. I interrupted you, but I just wanted to add that.

• 25:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  I know, that's so good. I think that sheds a lot of light too for, for, because get granular with, you know, for everyone joining us with it right now, just get granular on what that is for you, you know? And, and, and by the way, I have another thing. Oh, I hope we have time. I want to dive deep on what you just said. I'm gonna dive deep in that in a minute with a whole other topic.

• 25:59Ed Mylett?

  Okay, good.

• 25:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  Um, but yeah, I don't belong here. That's huge, right? I don't belong here. I'm not enough. And at our core, we all want to feel like we're enough and will be loved. Right? We all need love and belonging. We all need to be seen and heard and know that we matter. And at our core, that's a huge one. I don't belong.

• 26:17Ed Mylett?

  Did you have to belong anything? I wonder, because you didn't, you know, your birth mom gave you up real early, right? So like, did you, or did your, the mother who raised you make you feel like you belonged immediately? Or did you struggle without it all?

• 26:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  I have struggled with that my whole life.

• 26:30Ed Mylett?

  Have you?

• 26:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. Yeah. Not feeling like I fit in, not feeling I belong, feeling I'm different.

• 26:34Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 26:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:36Ed Mylett?

  And maybe you are different, and maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you don't belong, but I am different. You are different. I know you. By the way, those of you that are listening, you are different. That's why you're individually you.

• 26:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 26:48Ed Mylett?

  Right? That's the, the thing that makes you different is your special sauce.

• 26:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 26:52Ed Mylett?

  Not the thing that eliminates you from the room or the environment. It's what makes you special to add something to your family, add something to a company, add something to another human being. Is these different things about you. So anyhow, you're going down your strager.

• 27:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  And, and all, and, and to add to that, it's your, it's your superpower. There, if you are showing up in this world as your authentic self, by definition, you've never been done before. There's never been another you. And we think the thing that is different or quirky or awkward about us is what's wrong with us, but it's actually the thing that's right with us, right? And, and I don't want to get off on a huge tangent, but like, had I not embraced all the crap that was technically wrong with me, I could have never built a billion dollar company. Like, rosacea is considered a flaw. It's considered something wrong with me. I mean, it's like when I finally started to embrace it and share it and step into it. Right? That's when other people felt seen. I was like, oh, me too. And, and, and I have skin challenges or this or that or whatever.

• 27:47Jamie Kern Lima?

  And it's like, there's a whole chapter in Worthy about this idea of how you're not crazy, you're just first. I love this. You're not crazy, you're just first. And, and, and, oh gosh, okay, I could talk about that for hours, but this, the lessons around this will change your life. It's, it's why this book just came through me. I'm, I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds. I'm not even doing this to sell books, but this book will change your life. And I'm so fired up about it. But to get real tactical, okay, back there. So we just did our new definition, or sorry, your, your current definition of rejection. Which for me is like, oh, yep, proof again, I'm not enough. For Ed is, you know, I don't belong here, right?

• 28:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  And take note of, of what yours is that, that came to your mind right now. And step one of, of literally changing your entire life. Again, I believe this through my core, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life, your business, your family, your relationships, your, your goals and dreams, ever stepping into your calling. So I want you to come up with a new definition of rejection that you are going to believe is true and remind yourself of every time it happens. And I'm going to give you a couple of examples of this. So, for example, when I went through years of hundreds and hundreds of no's and rejections,

• 29:05Jamie Kern Lima?

  building at cosmetics, and I would sit there, Ed, and I would Google all of my greatest heroes or people I thought I had so much respect for. And as I would read their stories, I'm like, oh, they've all gone through tons of rejections in their life, right? Every single one of them, right? And I came to this realization that the people who succeed the most are also the people who fail the most because they're the people who try the most and, and keep going. And so I started, yeah, and I started telling myself this new definition of rejection, which is, ooh, it's a victory. It means I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. Yes. And I started telling myself that every time I'd call a new Retailer on the phone and like, oh, no, no, you're not the right fit for us, or this or that, or whatever.

• 29:50Jamie Kern Lima?

  And it would hurt my feelings. It's not that I was immune to being hurt or whatever. But I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it, which means eventually I'm going to succeed. And I started seeing rejection in this weird way as a positive thing. Another definition that I use a lot is rejection is God's protection.

• 30:11Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 30:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And I use this one a lot, and there are more in my own life, in my own head, right? This is something I tell myself over and over. You know, there's more stories than I can count where I'm like, and by the way, you know, it's, well, one example is at cosmetics. I mean, there was one investor midway through the journey that said, you know, he passed on investing. And I, I thought, we were down to almost bankrupt, right? We had under a thousand dollars in our account, which was the company and our personal, which meant we had a few weeks left before we went bankrupt. And everything was on the line, and I had this big meeting with a potential investor. And, and you know the story, Ed, but

• 30:47Ed Mylett?

  It's so unbelievable.

• 30:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  At the end, you know, he passed on investing, and I, I really was thinking he was going to be like my saving grace. And he said that he didn't think women would buy makeup from someone who looked like me with my body and my weight. And it was a whole thing.

• 31:01Ed Mylett?

  Wait a second. Hang on. Did you all just hear what she said? Okay, I want you to imagine, you struggle with worthiness issues. You've been building this company forever. I just want to make sure, because I think what you're about to tell them, the belief system that you took from it, could change the world. So the first thing is, I want to go back.

• 31:16Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 31:18Ed Mylett?

  You're not crazy, you're just first. I want everyone to just digest that. I want you to hear what this woman said. Who knows about this stuff? You are not crazy to be pursuing your dream.

• 31:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Ed Mylett?

  You're just first.

• 31:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yep.

• 31:30Ed Mylett?

  And you're probably first in your family, which is why they're the ones who think you're the craziest. You need to accept this.

• 31:36Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Ed Mylett?

  Okay, there's a profound, Jamie has this ability to say profound, deep things over and over again, hundreds of them. And she doesn't know it. You are not crazy. You're just first and your family's probably not going to get it. And even in your own company, maybe them, they're not going to get it. And so that's okay. The second thing is this woman's struggling with worthiness all of her life. She's getting rejected like crazy, up and down. She's also struggled, one of her worthiness issues is she had rosacea. She struggled with body issues all of her life, if we're going to get really real with Jamie. Okay, she's had body issues. So imagine your biggest insecurity is probably that. It's physical, okay? She's this gorgeous, you know, beautiful woman, but she doesn't know it.

• 32:19Ed Mylett?

  And so her number one insecurity is probably her body issue, at least operating out of the real world. She goes into this meeting needing it. She's down to a grand. He not only rejects her, he says to you, I'll let you say it again. He tells her, the very reason I'm rejecting you is the very thing you think about yourself the most deeply. I want you to imagine this, so go ahead.

• 32:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, and we had gone through meeting after meeting. We went through the diligence phase. We were so close with this potential investor who's the head of a private equity company. And in the final meeting, he's actually, it was in person, so he's about three feet from me. Paul, my husband, was on the other side and he says, you know, congratulations. You should be so proud of this product and what you've built, but it's a no. We're going to pass on investing. And when I said, can you tell me why? It's usually feedback's a gift and he got very quiet. And he says, you want me to be really honest with you? And I said, yes, please. And he said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And two things though, Ed, okay? Because rejections and the pain that they cause can take us out.

• 33:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  They can take us down, they can take us out. We can keep replaying them over and over and over in our heads. And by this point, I had so many rejections. This was just one that I thought was going to be my saving grace, that had he said yes. And I remember after I cried in my car. I remember telling myself rejection is God's protection and I don't know how this is gonna be God's protection. I don't see it now. It doesn't make sense to me now. I needed it to be a yes now, but I'm gonna choose to believe that because if I don't believe that, it's gonna take me down. I'm not gonna get back up and keep going and embracing more rejection and more rejection and more rejection and more rejection, right? And here's what ended up happening. I didn't hear from that guy for six years.

• 34:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  The day that L'Oréal bought my company for 1.2 billion dollars cash, because they are a public company, it was all over the press, right? Homepage of the Wall Street Journal, everywhere. That was the first time I heard from that potential, yeah, in six years. He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oréal deal. I was wrong."

• 34:26Ed Mylett?

  Gosh.

• 34:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  And what I wanted to say to him, Ed?

• 34:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right.

• 34:31Jamie Kern Lima?

  Was, do you remember, did you ever see Pretty Woman?

• 34:33Ed Mylett?

  Yes, because the character's Edward. Of course I saw Pretty Woman. I love that movie.

• 34:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  So when they wouldn't help her in the store and then she goes back later, what I wanted to say to him was, "Big mistake. Huge. Huge." I can give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake. But I kept it classy. I didn't say that. But here's my point in this. Had he invested, it would have been the most successful investment in his firm's history, but guess what? I was so desperate at the time, Ed. I was, I probably would, we probably would have given the majority of the company for almost no money, right? Because he didn't believe in me, when we sold to L'Oréal, it was the largest shareholder. So it's like rejection is God's protection and sometimes we don't see it when it happens. So that's one.

• 35:20Ed Mylett?

  Can we say something on that too?

• 35:21Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 35:22Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so because her and I talk about these things all of the time. First of all, it's one of the most unbelievable stories ever and I've heard it many times. A few weeks ago, I went to watch Jamie speak. I'm in the front row. Obviously, I'm rooting for my friend. But I got emotional again. I started crying again. And actually, right now, if I'm not careful, I will because I'm picturing this woman who all of her life has struggled with worthiness. And then to have someone hit you right where he's hit. But rejection is God's protection is one of the fundamental beliefs I've never heard said before. That if you adapt and adopt that belief in your life, it will change your life.

• 35:57Ed Mylett?

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• 36:42Ed Mylett?

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• 37:25Ed Mylett?

  I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/ed10 right now or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 37:59Ed Mylett?

  Here's how much your relationship with rejection matters. My children, both, you get that stage, you know Max and Bella. Both of them are, you know, hey, they're in college, getting ready for their careers. And my son said, "Maybe I'll follow in your footsteps, Dad, get into sales in the beginning." And I said, "Max, the whole key, if you're gonna go into business for yourself, is your ability to deal with rejection." It's the number one thing. Can you deal with rejection? And what's the story you tell yourself? Because it's not the stories of our life, the events of our life, that define it. It's the meaning we attach to it. Our friend, Doro McManus, had a great post I saw today, by the way, Jamie, where he said, "Emotions only store in our body when they're attached to a story." So if there's no story, you've had a lot of emotions in your life that don't stick because you didn't attach a story to it. But when you attach a story to it, so that story you tell yourself.

• 38:44Ed Mylett?

  So you take it a step further. This is an all-time moment on podcast she's about to give you, just so you know, guys, okay? So not only is rejection God's protection, but what else did you eventually uncover that you realized about what God was doing on your behalf in that rejection? In terms of hiding something from Him? You guys, listen. Your life's about to change in this next one minute right here because if you can adapt this true belief system, it's not only a belief, it's a truth about your life. Your life's about to be very different, including mine the first time I heard it, so go for it.

• 39:16Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. If you're someone that, you know, you are holding on to pain from a past relationship, a past failure, mistakes that you've made, someone who did you wrong, somebody, the job you didn't get, the thing that's not going your way, whatever it might be, the partner that screwed you over, whatever it is, right? This definition of rejection is probably the most common when I applied in my life right now, every single, almost every single day, Ed, because sometimes, you know what? A friend doesn't invite you to coffee or include you in a group, and it hurts your feelings, right? Whatever it might be. This is now what I believe most commonly when rejection happens in my life. I imagine my Creator, God, saying,

• 40:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  "Oh, no, no, no, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny."

• 40:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I believe that, right? When things don't go my way right now, when someone, you know, doesn't give me the thing or want me there or include me in the room, whatever it might be, I, I, or doesn't get me for some reason. You know, have you ever tried to make someone just, you want to connect with them so bad? You want them to like you and they just don't? Whatever it might be, I believe this through my core and it has changed my life that I always now hear God saying to me, "Oh, no, no, you're not rejected. You weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny."

• 40:43Ed Mylett?

  It's one of the all time greatest things I've ever heard and I wish every human being could hear it and I hope you can share this everybody this episode.

• 40:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Ed Mylett?

  I want my daughter to know that. I want my daughter to know it so badly that when you walk in a room and a boy doesn't notice you like you like them too. Or you don't get invited to something, or you get rejected in a sale down the road in your life, or if you're in a relationship and somebody leaves you.

• 41:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 41:06Ed Mylett?

  God had started to hide your value from them.

• 41:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 41:09Ed Mylett?

  And I'm telling you at 52, and Jamie can tell you as a much younger woman than I am, but having a lot of success in her life, it is so profoundly true that that's what God's doing. He is protecting you in that moment by either hiding your value or taking the perception of your value away when they once did. And sometimes in life, to get you out of a relationship or out of a company or out of a job you have and you've been fired.

• 41:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 41:33Ed Mylett?

  You've been fired.

• 41:34Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 41:35Ed Mylett?

  Maybe they used to value and now they don't and God's removed that value from them to protect you.

• 41:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 41:40Ed Mylett?

  It's so beautifully true. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I just want to say it.

• 41:44Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's so true, yeah. And, and, and I love what you said earlier. Share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this.

• 41:50Ed Mylett?

  How has serving people helped you? It's not in any of the things we were going to talk about, but you know, probably more than anybody you know, and certainly in your case more than anybody I know, like we're really doing whatever this is we're doing.

• 42:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 42:01Ed Mylett?

  For service for you and I. Neither one of us financially have a need to do it. You, I gave away all the proceeds from my book. You're doing the same thing.

• 42:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 42:10Ed Mylett?

  How has service to other people changed your life or created more bliss in your own life? I just want to know that because for me, I feel the most worthy oftentimes in my life when I'm in the service of somebody else.

• 42:23Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 42:24Ed Mylett?

  You know, I actually feel worthy. I don't always feel worthy that I'm capable of doing it. But when I'm in the effort and attempt to serve somebody, I feel more connected with my own worth when I'm serving another person.

• 42:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. So, so, you know, in book, in the book Worthy, there's a whole chapter on fulfillment, right? And first of all, self-worth is the most critical piece because you can do everything right. You can have self-confidence, you can be growing, you can be contributing and serving. But if you don't have self-worth, you're never going to feel truly fulfilled. So you have to have self-worth, which of course the book's packed with how do you build that, right? But then you also need self-confidence and you also need growth. You need to be growing, stretching, like in some area of your life. And it could be simple things like growing in your faith or growing in your golf game, right? It doesn't matter what it is. You have to be growing to feel fulfilled, but you also have to be contributing, meaning doing something bigger than yourself. And a lot of people miss that.

• 43:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  They think, oh, if I just make enough money, if I just have enough people love me on social media, if I just, whatever it might be. If you are not contributing, you'll never feel that deep source of purpose and fulfillment. And two big ways on how, like, well, how do I contribute? I have nothing to offer. So many people think that, right? And you and I have a friend Rory that always talks about how we're best positioned to serve the person we once were. And another way to put that is so often the pain we've gone through, the setbacks, the things that sucked, right? It's like when we're able to then use those and help other people make them, make it through the things we've gotten through. It brings a deep sense of purpose and also understanding of, of, of the cadence of the calling of our life and everything we've gone through.

• 44:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  But also there's simple ways to give back. I mean, literally just smiling at a neighbor. I mean, it is that simple. There are people, so many people, I'm going to cry if I think about this and talk about this, but so many of us, if you make icon, and Ed, you're one of the best people I've ever met at this. I feel like it's why we're so, we're such good friends because we. Both see this in other people. You're one of the best people I've ever met at seeing other people. Like truly seeing other people.

• 44:36Ed Mylett?

  Let's just be real, we both know you're the best at that.

• 44:39Jamie Kern Lima?

  You're amazing at it. And anyone who wants to go, how do I serve? You know how you serve? Walk into the coffee shop or wherever you're at and see someone. Actually see somebody and just say hi. Or how are you? Or I almost guarantee you for some, I'm gonna cry. I almost guarantee you for so many people, if you walk into anywhere, any room you're in today in your life and you actually just see somebody, you're probably gonna be the only person that day that sees them.

• 45:10Ed Mylett?

  You're so brilliant. You're so brilliant. So where I started practicing this was in places like coffee shops. Because I didn't feel worthy to do it in like business environments. So I actually practiced it like in grocery stores and coffee shops. And I recommend everybody do it. And so like to say you went to order your coffee and the barista's there.

• 45:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Ed Mylett?

  Hey, what can I get you? Welcome. And you just take a second and there's a pause. I do this now as who I am, but at first I had to practice. And so I would let them pause and I'd go, hey, how are you? And I'll just take a second. How are you today? And you look at them and you hold the glance and actually wait for them to answer you. They feel that energy. And the first few times I did it, it was awkward and I went, wow, I'm actually, I get the added bonus to my coffee today. I connected with this human being.

• 46:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 46:02Ed Mylett?

  And as I'm walking out, I felt better. I know they felt better, but I felt better. What I didn't know until I read your book is I actually felt a little bit more worthy.

• 46:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yep.

• 46:11Ed Mylett?

  And then when I went into business meetings, I had a little bit more of the worthy bucket filled up.

• 46:17Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 46:17Ed Mylett?

  Because I did exactly, in the exact environment, you go to a cashier at a grocery store. How are you today? Like, and you actually listen and say it a little slower. Hey, how are you? That's not the same thing as, how are you?

• 46:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 46:30Ed Mylett?

  And they feel you actually wanna know and you care. Slowing your life down like that, you're like, what's that gonna do with business? I don't know. Best person I know at doing that is you. You said I'm the best person you know at doing that is me. And we're two of the richest people in this entire space. So there's some correlative property to it, to business as well, right? There's gotta be.

• 46:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  And, and two things happen. You see that other person. So now all of a sudden you're in service to something bigger than yourself. But when you see that other person and they realize it, they then see you.

• 46:58Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 46:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  The moment they realize you saw them is the moment they see you. When you actually see someone else and in that moment they realize it and then they see you, you actually feel seen. And here's something that is, is, is so powerful and profound and huge when we realize we do this in our lives.

• 47:20Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 47:21Jamie Kern Lima?

  Is so many of us, and I'm talking about no matter where you're at in your career or your goals or your ambitions or the version of, of success in your life that the world celebrates, right? Whether it's having the kids and the, whatever it is, no matter where you're at in that, like, we are so tempted always to actually still live our lives hiding in plain sight. Never actually showing who we truly are, never actually allowing our true self to be seen, right? Just showing up with the parts of us that, that the world celebrates. And we start creating barriers of disconnection in our lives. But more than that, right? And we wonder why we're not fulfilled in relationships.

• 48:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  But more than that is we create a barrier of disconnection with ourselves. We don't actually see ourselves. And, and just to give this analogy, um, for everyone listening, right? For you, for me, for everyone, everyone watching us is maybe you remember the moment as like a little kid in class. And think back to when you were a little kid, maybe three, four, five, six, seven, eight. The very first moment when you knew the answer, but you decided for the first time ever not to raise your hand.

• 48:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Because you thought, well, what if I'm wrong? What if I get made fun of? What if I no longer belong after I do that? And that is the, for so many people, the moment that self doubt starts to set in, the moment we become aware of these things, the moment we start to start to shrink our self worth and our self confidence. And so that moment, we start hiding in plain sight. And then what does that look like today as an adult? For a lot of people, it looks like, oh, you're on a Zoom meeting with your team and you have an idea, but you don't raise your hand. You don't share it, just in case it sucks, right? It looks like, oh, you're the boss and maybe you're crushing it and you're hitting numbers

• 49:18Jamie Kern Lima?

  every single quarter, but you actually have some novel ideas to innovate and move your company or your industry forward, but you're not going to do them because you're scared to take a risk, right? Because you're crushing it now? That is hiding in plain sight. It looks like maybe you're the extrovert that walks into the room and can entertain everyone else, but no one actually knows what you're really dealing with.

• 49:42Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 49:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? You're hiding in plain sight.

• 49:44Ed Mylett?

  That's the most profound thing. You said that the other day. I do feel like people hide in plain sight.

• 49:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yep.

• 49:51Ed Mylett?

  By the way, ask yourself, am I doing that?

• 49:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Ed Mylett?

  Am I playing small? Am I shrinking? Do I not raise the proverbial hand in so many moments in my life when I could step forward and take my power?

• 50:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  And to add to that too, Ed, is when you ask yourself this, right? What are the ways you're hiding in plain sight in your life? And it might be in work, it might be in your romantic relationship, it might be in your friendships. Do you know how many people feel like they've got to play a part to fit into a friend group? But then, then they feel lonely because those friends actually don't know them for who they truly are. There are so many ways we're hiding in plain sight so often in our lives. And the most important thing you can do is not just identify it. And I take you through so many exercises on how to do this in Worthy and the book coming out, which you can preorder now and get a special live Zoom with Ed and me if you do it.

• 50:39Ed Mylett?

  Worthybook.com/ed.

• 50:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  That's right. And it's going to go away. So it's just, so do it now. But I go deep in this because the most important thing is not just to identify in your life all the ways you're hiding in plain sight. All the, you know, ways that self doubt is impacting your life. But then to identify, what is hiding in plain sight already cost you? Yeah. In your life? What does it cost you in your goals and dreams? What does it cost you in the depth of connection you have in your relationships? And in your friendships, right? What does it cost you? And then when you really go through the work of going, what will it cost you? Five, 10 years from now if you don't change? And you start really opening your eyes?

• 51:24Jamie Kern Lima?

  The, the, the, we're, we're always wired as human beings to avoid pain. And when you, when you really do the work here? And you understand what it's going to cost you, what it has cost you, what it will cost you? That pain will be greater than the pain of, you know what? I might get rejected, people, I might lose some friends, I might be embarrassed, people might not get me, but I'm not going to hide anymore. Yeah. I'm, I'm going to show up and I'm going to be seen. Like, not just the parts of me I think I need to be, but like, the true parts of me. I am so blessed to have friends like you who sharpen me all the time. That is so, so, so important. And also, you don't need to hold out for a hero Yeah. in order to go after your dreams. You don't need, it, it, it's an excuse, it's a lie, it is an indication of unworthiness

• 52:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  to believe that we need somebody else before we're enough. Or, or once that, you know, person shows up and, and I'm married, then I'll be enough. Once, once I have kids in my life, then I'll be enough. Once I get that dream mentor, then my business will take off. All of it is a lie. It's, it's, it's a, it's a lie that leads to self doubt. And, and it's why I wrote this book, because it's packed with truths that wake up worthiness. Yeah. Because when you, again, when you, you don't, you don't soar to the level of, of your hopes and dreams in life, you always will plateau at the level of your self-worth. And when you get that right, it changes everything. And by the way, I'm getting so fired up, not to like go into the personal growth world

• 52:54Jamie Kern Lima?

  or anything, but so, so what I realized is like so much of the work you hear thought leaders doing around overcoming limiting beliefs, you know, you know, you might have a limiting belief that you're, you know, you'll never make a lot of money, or you're too young, or too old, or whatever it might be. You can do all the work of overcoming those limiting beliefs, but if you do not do the work on overcoming the limiting beliefs about worthiness, it does not matter, because you can accomplish everything again and go, okay, I believe I'm smart enough now, I believe all the things. Those are building your self-confidence. If you don't do that innate work of building your worthiness, then you'll sabotage all the stuff that you, that you bring into your life.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company for me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Digger, see the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd, rated R, under 17 not a minute without parent.

• 54:08Ed Mylett?

  And the last thing, because we're gonna run out of time, but I want to make sure they hear the great hack of the book. So there's all these micro-strategies in the book that I would call, they're actually huge strategies, but for me in my life, I call them micro compared to the big one. And in the book, and by the way, she's not telling you this, but she, she actually considered for a while Julia Roberts' career in Pretty Woman. She's had a conversation about it, so it was probably not a very serious one, but it gets to that extent in our lives when we lack worthiness. So the great hack in your life, though, of your self-worth has been what? What's it been?

• 54:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  This is around faith.

• 54:41Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 54:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, it's around faith, and this is a big one. How many, and you know, this is, I think, a universal principle, Ed, no matter what faith people practice, or if you believe in the universe, whatever it is, I still think this applies to you. For me, I'm a Christian, I believe in God, and so I'm gonna use this as the analogy. How many people do you know that say they believe in God, say they're Christians, they believe God's Word, but then they literally struggle with self-doubt? They, they feel unqualified, they, all the things, right? They talk themselves out of their own truth and their own destiny. I think that in life, you can do all this work that's important. You can work on overcoming limiting beliefs.

• 55:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  You can go to therapy if you're, if you're, if you're blessed enough to be able to do that. You can do all of this work on, on figuring out how to believe you're enough. For me, the quickest hack has been if you truly believe God's Word, if you truly believe it, right? For example, God who says, you know, "You're fearfully and wonderfully made, you're made in My image, you can do all things, you know, through Christ who strengthens you." If you believe those words, but then you doubt yourself, and you doubt you're enough, okay, who are you doubting? It is impossible to believe God's Word and then believe you're not enough at the same time.

• 56:06Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 56:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? You, you, what is that old saying in Western movies, like you can't ride two horses with one ass, or something like that? It's some saying, I can't remember, but it's like you can't-

• 56:18Ed Mylett?

  Even they didn't say it, we're using that one.

• 56:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  You can't have one without the other. You cannot say you believe God's Word, but then say, "Oh, I don't feel like I'm enough to walk into this room," or "I don't belong here," or "I don't have what it takes," or "I'm unqualified." So, for me, the quickest hack is this. Anytime, and by the way, this happens to this day, anytime I'm about, about to walk into a room, and I start to think, "Oh, I don't know if I belong here, I don't know if I have what it takes, I don't know if I'm worthy of being in this room," I instantly tell myself, "Who am I gonna believe? My thoughts in my head, or God's Word? Which one? I've gotta make a decision right now. Who am I gonna put my stock in, my worth in? Who am I gonna believe?" Right? And for me, it's the quickest hack, because I'm like, you know what?

• 57:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  I'm gonna go out on faith, right? Because self doubt and self belief or faith take the same amount of energy to believe in something that hasn't happened yet. Yes. So which one are you gonna believe? Really. Right? So in that moment, I'm like, okay, you know what? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Like, I'm made in His image. I have everything it takes inside of me right now. I belong in this room, right? Because when I remember who's walking in that room with me, and I know I'm never alone, right? It's like, oh yeah, I belong in every room. And this can come down to anything. It can be the thing right now in your life you're procrastinating on, that you are doubting yourself over. The first, maybe right now you're listening to me and Ed and you're gonna write the first word of your book, because you're gonna make the decision to stop hiding in plain sight, right?

• 57:47Jamie Kern Lima?

  Whatever it might be, when you tell yourself, who am I gonna believe? Because so many people say, say they're a Christian, or they believe, but then they doubt themselves out of their own destiny. So who are you believing? Because you're not believing God, right? You're believing your own thoughts. And so for me, it's the quickest hack is asking yourself in any moment, who am I doubting? Who am I really doubting? Right? And then making the choice of who you're gonna believe. Your own thoughts, or what God says about you. And so, and for me, I hear Him in my soul, right? In my knowing. I'm not gonna trust my thoughts, which will always tell me I'm not enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm all the things, right? But in my soul, and in God's Word, it's like, oh yeah, you're more than enough. I'm more than enough.

• 58:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Every one of us is more than enough. We're fully capable, fully qualified to walk into any room. We have what it takes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And by the way, I believe when you listen to that and you walk into that room, even if it becomes a disaster, even if you fail and fall flat on your face, even if things don't go your way, I don't believe it means that that knowing is wrong. I think it means that you either learn your next lesson you needed to learn, right? Your next lesson. So it's either your next right step, or it's your next right lesson. And I believe when we trust that, it's how I've gone from Denny's waitress to building a billion dollar company, to enduring hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections along the way. And people not just saying, you're not enough, or you're not the right fit, but like, not come back.

• 59:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  Later, no, it was like, no, no, don't come back ever, a lot of the stores, right?

• 59:18Ed Mylett?

  Please.

• 59:18Jamie Kern Lima?

  But it's like believing this and believing it, making the decision, not just to believe it's possible, but to believe I'm worthy of it and using a lot of the tools I've never shared before. They're in this book, Worthy, for the first time ever. It is how I kept going. It's how I, I, I learned to believe I was worthy of some of the things that finally actually happened and then learning to enjoy them on the way. And when I taught the course, Oprah did call me. The first time I called her, by the way, it went to voicemail. I was like, oh, I waited four years and it went to voicemail. But, but, but, but we did talk on the phone and, and, and she has called me and I had the blessing and gift and honor of teaching the Life You Want class alongside of her recently on resilience.

• 1:00:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I just, I think about the awe of, of what that is, but that it almost didn't happen.

• 1:00:06Ed Mylett?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:00:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And think about the things in your life right now that if you do not change your relationship with worthiness, may never happen.

• 1:00:14Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 1:00:15Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And that is why, that is what this book is about.

• 1:00:18Ed Mylett?

  It's so good. And by the way, your whole life changes when you believe you're worthy. And, you know, what you just said about, I'll say two things on this and then we're gonna, we'll put a bow on it, was literally exactly what I knew we were gonna do today. But my mother-in-law changed that for me. She says, she says, Eddie, either you believe God's present in your life all the time or only some of the time, which one is it? And I said, well, it's all of the time. And she goes, so when you give that speech that you don't believe you're worthy of, he's with you. When you walk into that meeting, he's with you. Anywhere you go, he's with you. And that's given me the comfort and the strength in my life to feel worthy. So you're 100% right. And in those times where I have failed, and I did make a mess of it, even though he was with me, I now know from you that what he was doing in those days was collaborating with me to hide my value from them that day.

• 1:01:03Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:01:03Ed Mylett?

  And he was protecting me and that was God's protection. Those rejections were God's protection. So many things. You're not crazy, you're just first. Rejection is God's protection. The part about him hiding our value from them until the right time or the right person is, is the greatest protection of our lives and that belief system is true. And this notion of all the different hacks. But especially the idea that if you believe in God, whatever that version is for you, is God with you all of the time or only some of the time? And you know that he's with you all of the time, or she is with you, depending on your belief system. So I am glad you were with me today to share this time because I know it's reverberating around the planet right now. So thank you so much.

• 1:01:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 1:01:47Ed Mylett?

  And you guys, if you want a little bit more time with her and I, go to worthybook.com/ed, grab a copy, and that's all you gotta do. That's it. That's the whole commitment. You wanna get a bunch of them, get a bunch of them. But if you go there and do it, you're gonna be spending some time with just Jamie and I, where we can dive even deeper than we did here today. So I hope that you all choose.

• 1:02:05Jamie Kern Lima?

  And you always downplay anything you're a part of, by the way. This is a big deal. Let me just say this for a minute, because I can talk about you way easier than me. This is a huge deal, you're doing this. You are going on a live Zoom. This isn't a huge event with hundreds of thousands of people. This is a live Zoom just for anyone on your show right now who preorders this.

• 1:02:21Ed Mylett?

  Or anyone you share it with.

• 1:02:22Jamie Kern Lima?

  Or anyone you share it with. That's the thing, Ed. If you, like, for everyone listening, if you know someone, whether it is the girls and women in your life, but also the men, anybody who at their core, if they truly believed they were worthy, they'd be unstoppable. Like, share this with them, because this is really special and it's, you know, we're doing it, you know, when you preorder it, it's, you know, it's such a gift to me as an author, but, and you know, I'm donating all the proceeds, it's more just about, I wanna get this in as many hands as possible.

• 1:02:48Ed Mylett?

  Many people who can.

• 1:02:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, I believe this is a movement. I believe it's No Person Left Behind. If we had a world where people actually believed they're worthy, oh my gosh, I think about...

• 1:02:56Ed Mylett?

  We'd sure treat each other differently, too.

• 1:02:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, amen to that, yes. But thank you, Ed. I wanna say thank you for doing this.

• 1:03:01Ed Mylett?

  I love you.

• 1:03:02Jamie Kern Lima?

  You being on a live Zoom with everyone and me is a big deal, and it's gonna be so powerful, and I'm excited for everyone who's gonna join you and me who preorders now. It's gonna go away, so do it now, do it now.

• 1:03:13Ed Mylett?

  And thank you for, and thank you for joining us here today, especially, you guys, because I'm grateful that you're here every single week, and I know that every week we do something to inspire or change your life. And there's so many things that were said here today that I think some of you will never forget, that you need to carry with you throughout your life. Okay, everybody, God bless you. I will see you soon. Max out your life. This is the Ed Mileage Show.