Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci

Comedians Ari Shaffir & Adrienne Iapalucci join us. We chat Asian sameness, Maya Angelou quotes, dried squid, being free, Helen Keller bit, and 5-dollar pancake smells. Get 5 dollars off your next order at www.magicspoon.com/belly https://www.magicspoon.com/belly. Or look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That’s www.magicspoon.com/belly https://www.magicspoon.com/belly for five dollars off. Start your free online visit today at www.hims.com/belly https://www.hims.com/belly. That’s www.hims.com/belly https://www.hims.com/belly for your personalized hair loss treatment options. The new gold standard is here with Robinhood Gold. To receive your 3% boost on annual IRA contributions, sign up at www.robinhood.com/gold https://www.robinhood.com/gold Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly https://www.shopify.com/tigerbelly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:25Bobby Lee?

  If I call you and Ralph, Ralph picking up is just like you picking up? Is what I'm saying?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, because he's more closer to you.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  Whoa, interesting.

• 1:37Bobby Lee?

  I haven't, that's not true at all.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  Why do you believe that?

• 1:40Bobby Lee?

  I'm way more closer to you.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  Because like the

• 1:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Comedy level?

• 1:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're saying your comedy level?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46Bobby Lee?

  You don't think you're high enough comedy level to call me back?

• 1:50Speaker 02

  I'm still an open mic'er.

• 1:53Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:53Speaker 02

  I'm still an open mic'er.

• 1:55Bobby Lee?

  I don't think you're a comedy, really?

• 1:58Speaker 02

  I've got open mics, bar mics.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  We're Sacramento.

• 2:10Bobby Lee?

  You're wrong all the time. You're wrong all the time to me.

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  Your face is so big. So big. It covers the screen. The screen.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Can we zoom out just a little teeny bit?

• 2:28Bobby Lee?

  Steve Ioki's coming. Is he coming? Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  What you're seeing and hearing.

• 2:35Bobby Lee?

  Have you heard of him?

• 2:36Speaker 02

  It's not real.

• 2:37Bobby Lee?

  You know Steve Ioki?

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know him. That's your uncle.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Is he an open mic'er still? He's getting quick.

• 2:44Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's... Open mic'ers don't say that to headliners.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so...

• 2:49Speaker 00

  Try it again.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:51Bobby Lee?

  You know Steve Ioki?

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:53Bobby Lee?

  Who is he?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  He's a good DJ and a good comedian.

• 2:59Bobby Lee?

  He's not a comedian.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  Comedian, dude.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Well, he's pretty funny to me.

• 3:04Bobby Lee?

  You think you can get more girls than him?

• 3:05Speaker 02

  No, of course not.

• 3:08Bobby Lee?

  You can't.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  No. I know, I said it myself right now.

• 3:13Bobby Lee?

  God, your attitude lately.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 3:18Bobby Lee?

  Did you read it?

• 3:19Speaker 02

  No, not yet.

• 3:22Bobby Lee?

  You bought it for him?

• 3:23Speaker 02

  No, my girl. My Filipino girlfriend got it for me.

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  Wait, there's an audiobook. I think that'd be easier for you, no?

• 3:31Speaker 02

  I can read.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  No, I know that I'm...

• 3:33Speaker 02

  No?

• 3:34Speaker 00

  So offended.

• 3:35Bobby Lee?

  I'm just saying, dude, that it's easier to listen audi... I listen to audiobooks all the time.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  You don't want to hear yourself? Hey, uh, my Filipino girlfriend, she's like, "What you're doing? What you're doing?"

• 3:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she has an accent, dog?

• 3:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, she does.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Do you got... Do you have one?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Well, it's because I was hanging out.

• 3:50Bobby Lee?

  Yes, he does.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, he does. I was hanging out with her. She's like, she called her Lola.

• 3:54Bobby Lee?

  What'd she look like, dog?

• 3:55Speaker 02

  I can't show you.

• 3:56Bobby Lee?

  No, no, show me a photo, though.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  I can't.

• 3:59Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Because you're gonna take her away from me.

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Yes, you can.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm not. Give me a photo.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  I've seen the girls you take.

• 4:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you think she's hot enough that I'm gonna take her?

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 4:09Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  She, she, um... She knows me because of, of you.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Like she watches Tiger Ben.

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I want to say something. I'm not an emperor and she's not a concubine. I mean, this is a free market situation, my friend.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  He's making you sound crazy.

• 4:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not crazy, dude. Give me a photo, dude. I'm not gonna take her, I promise. On my, on Scout's Honor.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Scout's Honor?

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  You know who you remind me of?

• 4:33Bobby Lee?

  Who?

• 4:33Speaker 02

  The Monkey Man. The, I was, I was, I was just watching my TikTok, but I can't. It's like a, like, it's a man dressed as a monkey, but like.

• 4:40Bobby Lee?

  Could it, but it just, could it be a monkey dressed as a man?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  It's a Monkey Man.

• 4:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Uh, let me ask you something.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  What's up?

• 4:46Bobby Lee?

  Is it a superhero or a movie called Monkey Man?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Uh, it's like a game.

• 4:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's a game called Monkey Man?

• 4:52Speaker 02

  No, it's not called Monkey Man.

• 4:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, dude.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Oh my god, dude, I can't even.

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  You can't be what?

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Can't even.

• 4:59Bobby Lee?

  You can't even what?

• 5:01Speaker 02

  I can't even, man.

• 5:02Bobby Lee?

  Deal with me right now?

• 5:03Speaker 02

  I can't.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  I can't deal with you right now, dude.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  I called you back, but you never called me back.

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  No. Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard that movie, Game's Fun. Yeah.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Did you play it?

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  I haven't.

• 5:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Because it's a short game, I heard, right?

• 5:16Speaker 02

  But you see it on TikTok, right?

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've seen it on TikTok, yeah. He looks cuter than you.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Cause he has hair, right?

• 5:22Bobby Lee?

  No, you have hair too.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  You ever wish you can grow a beard?

• 5:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh god, here we go.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Like a man child? You, you think I'm gonna be, cause I was in Sacramento and they were like, hey, you're a young Bobby Lee. I said.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Damn, he's the young Bobby Lee.

• 5:37Bobby Lee?

  That's what they said about you?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:39Bobby Lee?

  Who?

• 5:40Speaker 02

  People, fans.

• 5:41Bobby Lee?

  What'd you play?

• 5:42Speaker 02

  It's a Punchline.

• 5:43Bobby Lee?

  You, uh, uh, wait, Ralph played the Punchline?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's a, yeah. He sold out every.

• 5:48Bobby Lee?

  I know, of course. It's a small room, though.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  No, it's not. Oh yeah, it is kinda, yeah.

• 5:53Bobby Lee?

  It's 200 seats.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  But he sold out every week. I mean, every day.

• 5:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. You, if you don't, it's a problem.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a hard, it's a hard crowd.

• 6:03Bobby Lee?

  It was hard?

• 6:03Speaker 02

  It was hard.

• 6:04Bobby Lee?

  For you?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:05Bobby Lee?

  Like, what happened?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  True, like, it was scattered laughs, like, I didn't get no pops, but, like, the right side was, like, dead.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  It's tough, man. But they love you.

• 6:19Bobby Lee?

  How did Ralph do?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Oh, he did amazing, like always. I'm not trying to glaze him, but, you know, he does.

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know why? He's not a donut.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  He's a donut?

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  He's not a donut. That's why you wouldn't glaze him.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  I don't know, but the glazing, oh, the term glazing in TikTok is like you glazing like your friend.

• 6:38Bobby Lee?

  No, no, explain it to me.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Okay, like Gilbert, you know Gilbert, right?

• 6:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do know Gilbert.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  So like, if he wasn't here, I'll be glazing him right now?

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, but what is the definition of glazing?

• 6:49Speaker 00

  You gotta give the definition.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Not, less examples, more definition.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Like the glazing is like hyping your friend up.

• 6:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're hyping him up?

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Like.

• 6:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Like suck his dick already.

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right. Yeah, so I don't, you know.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  I mean, not.

• 7:01Bobby Lee?

  Andrew sold out two shows this weekend. I'm not glazing him.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  You're not, yeah, you're not glazing him.

• 7:07Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, oh, also, oh, also. Whoa.

• 7:14Bobby Lee?

  So, um, I thought, I, so Aoki's at four then? I thought Aoki was coming at one. That's why I was prepared for Aoki.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  So, well, we got.

• 7:23Bobby Lee?

  This is better. I'm more relaxed now.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Hold on. Would this help you? Would this help?

• 7:29Speaker 03

  This is my Aoki impression.

• 7:32Bobby Lee?

  That's really good, dude.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 7:33Bobby Lee?

  So dope.

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  Do you guys, um, are you guys on the road together or?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  We are a lot. We're going to Nashville together today, tomorrow, the next day.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  Thursday.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Thursday.

• 7:45Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna pee, I'll be right back.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Okay, I'll hold the fort down. Yeah. Hey, what's up? Oh.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  No, go ahead.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Make sure you introduce both our guests, please.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. Uh, what's up, guys?

• 7:56Speaker 03

  No, no, you can't start with an "uh."

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Okay. What's up, guys? Uh, it's Tiger Belly? What's up, man?

• 8:04Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 8:06Speaker 00

  You got him.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Don't let him tell you what to do.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  You're right, he's not my dad.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's not my dad.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  I'm not your dad.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Do you even know who your dad is, though?

• 8:12Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Okay, so I could be.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Daffy.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  I don't have the same, well, we do have.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  If I dated like, if I married, if I knocked up a black chick, it'd be you. Well, I know, but like halfway.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  No, Mexican.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  I know, but me with a black chick makes you.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  Definitely not.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Definitely not.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Me with a light black chick.

• 8:28Speaker 04

  He's very Mexican.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  A light-skinned black chick, like a Boricua.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  That's Puerto Rican.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm saying we could have produced that. How old are you?

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Me, twenty-eight.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  You could be.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  How old are you?

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Enough to be your dad.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  You fifty-eight?

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Not your actual dad, but I'm old enough that I could be your dad. It's not whether I am, that's not what I'm talking about. Do your intro!

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Oh, what's up Tiger Belly people, papaya bros, we're here with Ari Shaffir.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Right?

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  He could be my dad.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  I could be his dad.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  I could be a Mexican Jew one day.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Okay, we have Adriano.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  That's close. That's, wow.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Lugiano.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  Adriano Lugiano. That's actually not a bad name.

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  Try to get high.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Adriano Lugiano.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  She shot a, she shot a security agent.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Dad wasn't around, so like, my reading skills is off. Don't blame my dad.

• 9:23Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Who's this, new Stevie?

• 9:26Bobby Lee?

  I don't know. We picked him up in the streets, dude. I don't know if it's working out, but.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Hey, he's like, hey, fifty bucks is fifty bucks.

• 9:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let me ask you something. Back in the nineties, Ari, if you were, if Paulie Shore called you.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:39Bobby Lee?

  And, no, you called Paulie Shore, I know, Paulie Shore called you, and you never called him back.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:44Bobby Lee?

  Would you get shit for it?

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I called him last week, you never called me back.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  What's going on, buddy?

• 9:51Speaker 04

  It's a new school.

• 9:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes, is it, Adrian, is it new school, you think?

• 9:55Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 9:56Bobby Lee?

  Me too.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Or it doesn't matter.

• 9:57Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't matter.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  He doesn't, he doesn't respect you, actually.

• 10:01Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know, that's what it is.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  He has very little respect.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  He's been like, I can't make it more obvious, I don't respect you. This Gen Z doesn't care about their jobs.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  He didn't even learn my name.

• 10:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  You made up a name that's not even a name of anyone.

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Adriano.

• 10:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  He didn't even know your name, too.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 10:18Bobby Lee?

  That's, Adrian Lavalucci, what are you talking about?

• 10:20Speaker 04

  It's his show. Adriano Lavalucci.

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Joint lob, Mike.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  I'm not upset.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  You don't know my name?

• 10:31Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:31Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  It's a cool name.

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  Well, the vibe is already good. I love it. You know what I mean? It's on fire.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Hello? Yeah, funny?

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Hello? Hello?

• 10:43Bobby Lee?

  So, um...

• 10:44Speaker 03

  These are fake.

• 10:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know they are. So, that's what happened. It's the new school. I'm over it.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Why didn't you call him? What did you ask him? Did you tell him something?

• 10:54Bobby Lee?

  No, what I wanted to say is, dude, I'm my... I'm so sorry about the loss of Ken Flores.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Do you know him, or do you just assume you do him?

• 11:01Speaker 02

  No, I know.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  He actually looks like him.

• 11:04Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Dude, you could be Gallagher 2.

• 11:05Bobby Lee?

  The same kind of Mexican.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  You could be Gallagher 2 for Ken Flores.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  Were you a little happy when he died, so you could...

• 11:11Speaker 02

  No. I'm sad.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  It was a pause. That was a long pause.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  There's one more spot open.

• 11:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I was gonna give you, you know, um...

• 11:18Speaker 02

  A notice?

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Love.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, I never called you before. So, I'm like, this is a good opportunity to call a guy.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  The first time your boss ever called you.

• 11:26Bobby Lee?

  Right. And then, it was over, like, a death. And I was gonna be, like, a human for a second. And bond with you on that level. And you never called me back. And the reason why he didn't is, this is his excuse, is that, cause you know, he's Ralph Barbo... Barbo's guy. They grew up on the same street together.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 11:44Bobby Lee?

  They're best friends.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Dallas?

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That's why he's here, because Ralph was here, and then he was over there, and then...

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Cause you're trying to get Barbo's in here, and you...

• 11:50Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I've had him on ever since, and I met him. We fly him out here.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  You live here now? Oh, rut?

• 11:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Every week, we fly him out here.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Wow, he flies right here, and you don't call him back?

• 12:00Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know, dude, I know.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  He could have been telling you that the flight was canceled.

• 12:03Bobby Lee?

  I know, I, I, I, I know.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  You could have just been like, "You're fired."

• 12:06Bobby Lee?

  I, I know, I know, I know.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  I was just asleep, and I woke up, I went to Ralph's room, and he's like, "Hey, Bobby called me." I was like, "Oh, okay, I guess he called me for the same reason, so I just don't need to call him back."

• 12:18Bobby Lee?

  Mmm.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  Oh, you assumed...

• 12:19Bobby Lee?

  He assumed.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  He's nervous around you, probably.

• 12:22Bobby Lee?

  I think, is that what it is? I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So, let's start from the beginning. Let's, I mean, we're gonna keep all that in, you know what I mean?

• 12:28Speaker 03

  You got this now? You got this going?

• 12:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Cancelled.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Can I ask for something?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Can I ask for a...

• 12:35Speaker 04

  Nothing matters.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Later. Go ahead.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  It's one of my favorite Bobby Lee bits.

• 12:39Bobby Lee?

  What? Please, stand up?

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:43Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not gonna do my stand-up on my podcast. I've never done that before.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  It's not that, it was hosting. It's a bit, it's a hosting bit. I'll remind you in 10 minutes. Let's get the show started.

• 12:52Bobby Lee?

  Wait, no, no, no, no, no. Ari, we're not doing this.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Why?

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  We're not doing Snickerbucks, Snick, Snick, Snicker. No, no, no, we're not doing fucking-

• 13:00Speaker 03

  I forgot Snickers.

• 13:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Snickers, candies in the butthole.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Dude, I was helping you.

• 13:04Bobby Lee?

  We're not doing any of that.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  I didn't do Mounds Bar. I could've done Mounds.

• 13:07Bobby Lee?

  We're not doing any of that. It's a different Bobby Lee, man. Alright? It's a different brand.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  You know what you said last time when you couldn't do the candy bar with the butt? Even though you did, you're like, "I work for NBC, ABC. I can't be doing this stuff." You don't work for anybody now. Hey.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  Maybe he's grown up.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Who's the biggest intern?

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, Ari.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  He doesn't wanna do it anymore.

• 13:23Bobby Lee?

  I have a deal at NBC.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  What kind of deal?

• 13:26Speaker 04

  A TV show.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Clean it up and we can use you? Let me ask, let me tell you this. The highest level intern here, go get some candy bars. Go get a Zero Bar.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  No, EJ, EJ.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Twixt at minimum.

• 13:38Bobby Lee?

  EJ, anyone in the room, I'm gonna show you power.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  Adrian's never seen this.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  I can imagine.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she could imagine.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  I can imagine.

• 13:45Bobby Lee?

  She's seen it, online. So, anyone in the room, right, that works for me, if you get a candy bar, I will never see you again.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  You will.

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  EJ, no, I won't.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  You will. You know he's full of shit.

• 13:54Bobby Lee?

  No, EJ, EJ, I'm telling you right now, you wanna, you wanna test me? I, I do believe you. Yeah, believe me. Alex, believe me. Believe me, guys.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  What is, EJ's name, Extreme Jew?

• 14:05Bobby Lee?

  No, he's Filipino, dude.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  That's like, not white at all.

• 14:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Not white at all.

• 14:10Bobby Lee?

  So, um, let's start from the beginning, okay?

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 14:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not doing that.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Why? That's, okay, okay.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  The candy in the butt thing?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Candy in the butt.

• 14:17Speaker 04

  Ah!

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  Cause look at-

• 14:19Speaker 03

  He made me, oh.

• 14:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it was in the, uh, old house.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Was my nose bigger then?

• 14:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. It was six, how many years ago was that?

• 14:26Speaker 03

  I showed this to Howie Mandel and he almost threw up.

• 14:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  He goes, "Why, what do you mean? Why would you do this?"

• 14:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  And his daughter's dying laughing, and like, "For that."

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Alright, turn it off. It's, it's too much. I'm not doing that again.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  How was this up on YouTube?

• 14:39Speaker 00

  Six years ago.

• 14:39Bobby Lee?

  Six years ago, wow.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  1,000 views, that's it? We did that for 1,000 views?

• 14:45Bobby Lee?

  I know, that's what I'm saying.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  What?

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  No one cares.

• 14:47Speaker 04

  You guys could, you could beat it today, though.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  We can beat it today. Beat it today.

• 14:51Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to be, we can beat a thousand.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  We can beat a thousand.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  You could get a million.

• 14:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, stop. So, uh...

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Do you have a steak or anything we could do? We could up it.

• 15:00Bobby Lee?

  We're not doing anything, we're not doing butthole play.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Caviar.

• 15:03Bobby Lee?

  No caviar.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:04Speaker 04

  Can I have this?

• 15:05Bobby Lee?

  You can have whatever you want, Adrian, okay?

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Thank you, oh my god, I love it.

• 15:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we have all kinds of stuff. Water there for you, the mountain valley. We have any coffee that you want. Um, let's start from the beginning. Um, we're gonna keep all that in. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen.

• 15:22Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Now's the time for my question.

• 15:24Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Helen Keller playing The Beatles.

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.

• 15:32Speaker 04

  What is this?

• 15:32Bobby Lee?

  Well, I used to do that. How do you remember that?

• 15:34Speaker 03

  I remember great bits. Helen Keller playing, playing a cover of, uh, of The Beatles.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I used to do, play the piano, um, live. You like, you know what I mean? And then Zach did it on a special, like, he's, Zach does that.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Oh, that same way?

• 15:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, he doesn't do that bit, but he, you know, he plays the piano or something. In my mind, I was like, oh, it's too hacky, so I stopped doing it.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Do it.

• 15:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So this is Helen Keller.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  I'm excited.

• 15:57Bobby Lee?

  Here we go.

• 16:16Bobby Lee?

  That's what I did.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  That's really good.

• 16:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Never heard that before. You never heard that, yeah, and it would crush. It would crush, but then like, you know...

• 16:29Speaker 03

  What do you do for your Hulu special? That's a wrap-up.

• 16:31Bobby Lee?

  Dude, that's a wrap-up.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  That's a wrap-up, bro.

• 16:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Into the credits?

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:40Bobby Lee?

  Magic Spoon, Protein Cereal.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  And Treats.

• 16:46Bobby Lee?

  And treats. You guys, um, Magic Spoon, you know, as a kid, what? Cocoa Cris- all these ones, you know, Frosted Frosted, you know? There's so much sugar, dude.

• 16:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:57Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever had Frosted Frosted, dude?

• 16:58Speaker 00

  Too sweet for me.

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  It's too sweet for Papa, dude. It's too much sugar. It's not good for you, right? But guess what, uh, Magic Spoon did? They made the same cereal, but with less.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 17:07Bobby Lee?

  And with more protein and with more health in mind. Alright, every serving of Magic Spoon high protein cereal has crazy macros, dude. You know, as a kid, dude, I was like, where's the macros, dog? Thirteen grams of protein, zero grams of sugar, and four grams of net carbs. They come in so many nostalgic flavors like Cocoa and cinnamon roll.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  Treats, man. Uh, man, these are crispy, crunchy, airy. Oh, man, and the easy way to get 12 grams of protein on the go, Bobby.

• 17:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they come in mouth-watering flavors like marshmallow, chocolate peanut butter, and dark chocolate.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Mmm, do you like them, Jules?

• 17:43Speaker 04

  I love the...

• 17:44Bobby Lee?

  She loves Magic Spoon.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Guys, get $5 off your next order at magic spoon dot com slash belly. Or look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or your nearest grocery store. That's magic spoon dot com slash belly for $5 off.

• 17:56Bobby Lee?

  Hymns when your head is missing furry stuff. You guys, you know, as men, we grow older, you know what I mean? Ron Howard, AKA, you know? And he lost his hair, and guess what? If he had hymns, maybe it'd still be there. You know, Andre Agassi, maybe it'd still be there, right? Hymns provides you with convenience and quality access to a range of hair loss treatments that work all from the comfort of your couch, dude, or whatever you have, a chair. Hymns makes hair loss simple with doctor-trusted options with clinically-proven ingredients like finasteride and monoxidil that can regrow hair in as little as three to six months.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  Choose from personalized chewable oral spray and serum treatments to find what works best for you.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  The process is simple and 100% online, so there are no uncomfortable doctor visits.

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  Answer a few questions and a medical provider will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is sent directly to you for free. No insurance is needed, and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  Start your free online visit today at hims.com/belly. That's H I M S dot com slash belly for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Hims dot com slash belly.

• 19:13Speaker 06

  Results vary based on studies of topical and oral, minoxidil and finasteride. Prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider, who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro dot com

• 19:56Speaker 06

  and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 20:08Bobby Lee?

  The only thing that's getting me through it is that, well, it can live on clips. I know that I have clips.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  We should talk later about.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  It's gonna be great.

• 20:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 20:17Speaker 03

  I'll help guide you a little bit. I did it for her.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  He did, yeah.

• 20:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, did you really?

• 20:20Speaker 03

  I went over material for months and months and months.

• 20:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I went and saw her a bunch. We talked about like.

• 20:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I think that's what I need. Yeah, yeah. Well, you don't have to do it today, but anyway, thank you so much. But anyway, we have Ari Shaffir and Adrienne Lappalucci.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Appalucci.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Appalucci.

• 20:36Bobby Lee?

  It says L on the thing.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  Sure does. It looks like an L. It's an I.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  It's an I.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Hard I.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  I'm gonna change it to what you said.

• 20:43Bobby Lee?

  Appalucci. The Dark Queen on Netflix. I heard it's great, um, oh, it's special.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  It's great. It's the best special of 2024.

• 20:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, was that coming from you or Netflix?

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  It's definitely, it's definitely not coming from Netflix.

• 20:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so are you, so Adrian, do you see an effect on that, um, special on your ticket, uh, ticket?

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm selling like 10 tickets a show now.

• 21:09Bobby Lee?

  No. No, you're doing better, be honest?

• 21:12Speaker 03

  She sold out Irvine?

• 21:14Speaker 04

  No, I sold out, I did sell a decent amount of Irvine, yeah, Cleveland, I sold one show out. So it's like, I'm definitely seeing an increase.

• 21:21Bobby Lee?

  So you saw, you played the, um, um, Hilarities?

• 21:23Speaker 04

  Hilarities, yeah.

• 21:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, don't you love that club?

• 21:25Speaker 04

  I love that club.

• 21:26Bobby Lee?

  Nick?

• 21:26Speaker 04

  It's amazing, Nick.

• 21:27Bobby Lee?

  One of the greatest guys on planet Earth.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Did you get a baseball bat?

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Yep, I have it in my car.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Did you shove it off your pussy?

• 21:32Speaker 04

  Not yet.

• 21:32Bobby Lee?

  Okay, guys.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  It's in my car. Is this a clean, is this a clean show?

• 21:36Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  Are we not allowed to?

• 21:40Bobby Lee?

  No, no, yeah. I forgot, I forgot.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  The bat's made of wood, I shouldn't shove it up my pussy.

• 21:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so the splinters?

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Also, don't they, there's, isn't there like a, um, glaze on the bat?

• 21:54Speaker 04

  I'm very wet, though.

• 21:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you are?

• 21:55Speaker 04

  I'll wash the glaze right off.

• 21:56Bobby Lee?

  You still get wet, or?

• 21:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. How wet?

• 21:59Speaker 04

  Like, very wet.

• 22:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, not since we're going down this road, I mean, I'm like, I wanna know how wet. You know, can I just say about the wetness, though, about it, because I'm not a scientist or a doctor or anything?

• 22:08Speaker 04

  Do you think it's overrated?

• 22:09Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I love it. It's my favorite thing. We should bottle it, but my point is what?

• 22:13Speaker 03

  You think wet is a myth?

• 22:14Bobby Lee?

  No, it's, it's a real thing. I've, I've had it happen, you know what I mean?

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 22:17Bobby Lee?

  But what I'm saying is, is that sometimes it's like, clear, and sometimes it's like milky looking.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  That's, that's not good.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 22:24Bobby Lee?

  No, it's good. The milky.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  You like the milk?

• 22:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, a little bit, that, that.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  That's usually yeast.

• 22:29Bobby Lee?

  No, that's yellow.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  No, like, when they're fucking on, on, on camera?

• 22:33Bobby Lee?

  On camera.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  Oh, you mean, okay, I thought you meant we just start out.

• 22:36Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, not start off. You don't open milk. You don't open with the milk.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  I would hope not.

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So vaginal, colors of vaginal discharge, where we go? Yellow, what's yellow-green?

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Or yeast infection.

• 22:46Bobby Lee?

  Sexually transmitted infection, that's why. Yellow's not good. White is healthy.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Well, white could also be yeast infection.

• 22:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that could be. That's, you're right.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Cervical bleeding, that's what I give girls.

• 22:54Bobby Lee?

  What? I do gray, bacterial, that's fun, that's always fun.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Vaginosis.

• 22:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Can't spell vaginosis, not vag.

• 22:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Red is, um, that's a fun color.

• 23:02Speaker 04

  Because it could also be cancer.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  It's like, are you, are you a period or is that cancer?

• 23:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fun, that's fun. That's always fun.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:12Bobby Lee?

  Can you get vagina cancer? I've never heard of that.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Can you what?

• 23:15Bobby Lee?

  Vagina cancer.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 23:17Speaker 04

  Cervical cancer, right there.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  But can you get dick cancer?

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's called something else.

• 23:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But it's not, it's, no, it's, I can, the nutsack, yeah. The sack, yeah.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  But not the dick part.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Shaft cancer.

• 23:28Bobby Lee?

  Is there a shaft cancer?

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Shh, hush your mouth.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  About to talk about shaft.

• 23:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's really good. All right. Really good. Really good reference. We're gonna cut that out.

• 23:40Bobby Lee?

  Adrian, are you seeing anybody?

• 23:43Speaker 04

  I am.

• 23:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh. Who?

• 23:45Speaker 04

  It's a TikTok star.

• 23:46Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:48Bobby Lee?

  And how did you meet this person?

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Go to his boxing match?

• 23:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Against Conor McGregor.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  He gave me his dick pills.

• 23:55Bobby Lee?

  No, so you met him on TikTok?

• 23:57Speaker 04

  Met him on TikTok, yeah.

• 23:58Bobby Lee?

  Wow. And he hit on you first?

• 24:00Speaker 04

  He hit on me first, yeah.

• 24:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow. How did he do it?

• 24:03Speaker 04

  He just sent me a DM. It was so easy.

• 24:06Bobby Lee?

  And he goes, what's that?

• 24:07Speaker 04

  He's like, I bet you get a ton of these. And I was like, this is my first one.

• 24:09Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  Now we're in love.

• 24:11Bobby Lee?

  That's your first one?

• 24:12Speaker 04

  It's my first DM ever. I've never gotten a DM, Ari.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Like a sexual DM?

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Never.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  You're lying.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. All right. I was like, what?

• 24:21Bobby Lee?

  You have, right?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  She's a woman.

• 24:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how many? A lot?

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, someone told me that they watched my special three times. The first time they watched it because they thought it was funny, and then the third time they stopped it to jerk off.

• 24:34Bobby Lee?

  That's a good compliment.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  I know.

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I don't think anyone's ever jerked off to me.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  But you haven't put a special out yet.

• 24:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I've been on TV.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  That's a good point.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, but wait till, wait till your special, wait till your special comes out.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's gotta be through your art.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Everyone's gonna be jerking off.

• 24:47Bobby Lee?

  This is art too.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  What?

• 24:49Bobby Lee?

  This is an art form as well.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  Amy, Amy.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  When your special comes out, girls are gonna be fucking touching them.

• 24:58Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 24:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  Why? Because I'm wearing makeup?

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, because you're wearing makeup.

• 25:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  Because you're funny.

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but my, my, my argument would be though, though, it's like I have, I've been on TV and stuff.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  And then they're gonna be like, forget this.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  It's not, it's someone else's words. It's some homo's words.

• 25:13Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  This is gonna be a heterosexual's words. Yeah, nobody's gonna, nobody's gonna jerk themselves off to a fucking sex.

• 25:19Bobby Lee?

  Magnum P I. No one masturbates to me on Magnum P I.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  You're on Magnum P I?

• 25:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  The original?

• 25:23Bobby Lee?

  No, the new one.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 25:24Bobby Lee?

  You think I work with Tom Selleck, you asshole?

• 25:26Speaker 04

  I would love that.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Be cool.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  That'd be very cool.

• 25:28Bobby Lee?

  No, man.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  I'd jerk off to that.

• 25:30Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um, I did, I did 12 episodes. It was my favorite show to do.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. You go to Hawaii for that?

• 25:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That was, those were the good days.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Wasn't it canceled?

• 25:41Speaker 03

  That's you?

• 25:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  Wow, you were playing a Hawaiian, huh? You're versatile. You could play Hawaiian.

• 25:47Bobby Lee?

  You're so rude.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  You could play, you could play Mexican.

• 25:49Bobby Lee?

  Adrian.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Down syndrome.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  You could play Asian.

• 25:51Bobby Lee?

  Adrian, Adrian.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:53Bobby Lee?

  You know, um, cause you know Ari's not fascinated by Hollywood at all.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  I know he's not. That's one of the things I like about him.

• 26:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  He has no respect.

• 26:01Bobby Lee?

  He has no respect of it. He thinks that when I do this kind of stuff, that it's like dumb.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  I mean, free shit to Hawaii.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  But he, but he's on your show to, so he's like using your Hollywood-ness.

• 26:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  But I knew him before he was accepted in Hollywood.

• 26:12Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. He broke me out of rehab.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  Sketch actor who was shitting his pants on TV.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  I literally learned a lot from you.

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  But do you?

• 26:20Speaker 03

  I actually learned more than I knew.

• 26:22Bobby Lee?

  I know. Do you respect people that have done stuff or no?

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, why not?

• 26:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, see, that's.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Doesn't sound.

• 26:27Bobby Lee?

  That does sound like it. Yeah, yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  But like, respect them how? Like I, I'm not fascinated by famous people. When I opened for Louis in, uh, Israel, what's his name that did Pulp Fiction was there.

• 26:36Bobby Lee?

  Tarantino.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  I was so turned off by him, I left.

• 26:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:40Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, uh, Louis.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  C K.

• 26:43Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  She, he directed her special.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he did?

• 26:46Speaker 04

  And he produced it.

• 26:47Bobby Lee?

  Um, you did? Amazing.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  He put out all the money. He didn't even know if he was gonna get it back.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  He put up all the money.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  I wasn't even gonna pay him back.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  He didn't know that.

• 26:54Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I believed in her.

• 26:56Bobby Lee?

  So Louis, um, and the Tarantino, why didn't you say hi to him?

• 27:01Speaker 04

  He was just like talking and I found him annoying and I just walked away.

• 27:04Bobby Lee?

  He's the greatest director of all time.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  But I don't care. I'd rather talk to someone that's nice.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  He's still gotta be good in conversation.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I found him annoying.

• 27:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, it could be a baboon. I would try.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  No, no, he was talking about, he was talking about like.

• 27:16Bobby Lee?

  What's your next movie? I mean, I would have tried to do it.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  No, he was talking about how he liked.

• 27:21Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, that's me?

• 27:22Speaker 03

  You, you're a suck up to Hollywood.

• 27:24Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  Even when someone's being like dumb, you're like, oh, I love you.

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like Michael Bay comes, he came a couple of weeks ago and I brought him in.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  When Carrie Mitchell calls, you answer the call.

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  He was now referring to what? Tell him.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  Sex and the City, the reboot.

• 27:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He saw me in that and he's been saying that.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Honestly, I liked you in that.

• 27:44Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  You're the only thing I liked in it.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  What's her name? Carrie what?

• 27:49Bobby Lee?

  Carrie.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Carrie Mitchell?

• 27:50Bobby Lee?

  No, not Carrie Mitchell.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Carrie Bradshaw.

• 27:52Bobby Lee?

  Carrie Bradshaw, yeah, yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  I'll do it again.

• 27:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  When Carrie, thanks for meeting me. When Carrie Bradshaw calls, you accept the call.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Is that your line? Is that close to it?

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  It's similar to that, but the way you say it though. But the way you say it though, dude, it burns a fucking hole in my soul.

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Straight legitimate impression of what you did.

• 28:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay. Can I say this though?

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 28:13Bobby Lee?

  You think that was my first take? You don't think that they're like, say it like this?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  The worst takes that they cut out?

• 28:22Bobby Lee?

  You put, guy, I hate you, dude. I love you so much.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  That's a testament to acting, though.

• 28:26Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I don't know if I'd be able to do it.

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I think you, yeah, I don't think you would because if you walked out of Tarantino. Imagine him giving a no.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  His story was so off putting to me. He was talking about porn and how he liked this girl in porn and how he got to fuck her. And I was like, who cares? You're like a millionaire.

• 28:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  Millionaire. Who gives a shit?

• 28:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but if I said that.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  But he wanted us to be like impressive. I was like.

• 28:47Bobby Lee?

  If I said that story, would that impress you or no?

• 28:49Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay, but I would never tell that story.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  No, but that's what I mean. Like, I was not impressed by him at all.

• 28:53Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  He was talking about something that was like unimpressive.

• 28:56Bobby Lee?

  But if I said that I did that to AOC, would that be impressive?

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, that would be impressive.

• 29:00Bobby Lee?

  Let me name some women to see if that would be impressive.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 29:03Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  You could, you could get her.

• 29:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  She's cute.

• 29:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  You should, you should.

• 29:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I would, I would, but she, there's no way she would.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Why?

• 29:12Speaker 03

  More like A O Lee.

• 29:12Bobby Lee?

  I think, I mean, I don't think I'm too, I'm not, what?

• 29:15Speaker 03

  A O Lee?

• 29:16Bobby Lee?

  That's good. I think I'm too, um, in the middle for her.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Like politically?

• 29:21Bobby Lee?

  Like, it kind of made me lean right in her opinion or whatever.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  She was a bartender. You don't think she fucked clients?

• 29:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:27Bobby Lee?

  What about if I said that I had sex with, um, um.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  Ooh, yeah.

• 29:31Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 29:32Speaker 03

  I'm excited about this game.

• 29:33Bobby Lee?

  Helen Mirren.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Now?

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 29:37Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  No, now.

• 29:38Bobby Lee?

  Now, now, yeah, yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Great.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, now.

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. If I jammed her bones.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  I'd want to.

• 29:43Bobby Lee?

  Bobby?

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Oh, she's still alive.

• 29:44Bobby Lee?

  Is that, is she, is Helen Mirren still alive?

• 29:47Speaker 03

  She's old.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, now.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  I wonder if he went down on her.

• 29:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I thought she had died. Um, no.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  What are we looking at?

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Claw game.

• 29:55Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait. Going down on an older woman like that.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Hey, Ari, who is that?

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Who's what?

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Helen.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Helen Keller?

• 30:01Speaker 02

  No, the other one.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Helen Mirren?

• 30:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  She's some fucking old bitch actress.

• 30:04Bobby Lee?

  Don't say that, dude. She was, she's a dame.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  She could play the Queen of England now.

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's a dame and she's talented and go fuck yourself, dude.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  She's a dame?

• 30:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  What does that mean? Woman?

• 30:13Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  A woman of the night?

• 30:14Bobby Lee?

  Don't people get knighted, knighted? When some people get knighted, women is a knighted, female knighted, isn't that what?

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  Back in the day, though, so you'd be impressed if I did that.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a pull, bro. That's a pull.

• 30:27Bobby Lee?

  Now, I've never done, um, ate older, um, you know, I mean, private parts. Do you think they taste the same?

• 30:34Speaker 04

  I think as long as it's clean.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  I think it does. I think it probably tastes the same.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a bit curdled, but like a good blue cheese.

• 30:40Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, that's not curdled.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  No, do you remember stickers that used to smell back in the day and then you go back years later and has like less of a smell? I think that's what it probably is.

• 30:48Bobby Lee?

  You still have to scratch it?

• 30:49Speaker 04

  You still scratch it? I, I smell a little bit.

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  But it's faint. I think it's a fainter smell.

• 30:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You both just seem like people that don't wear perfume or cologne.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  I do.

• 31:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay, what are you wearing?

• 31:02Speaker 04

  Uh, Juliet has a gun or something.

• 31:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's so cool. You don't wear anything.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 31:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. What? All I do is collect. I have thousands of bottles of perfume and cologne upstairs. I, that's all I spend my money on.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're, uh, white rice.

• 31:14Bobby Lee?

  White rice. I gave you the white rice?

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Wait, is that, that's really a cologne?

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Did we get some?

• 31:18Bobby Lee?

  No, I gave him white rice.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Can I put some on right now?

• 31:20Speaker 04

  He just rolled her.

• 31:21Bobby Lee?

  You have white rice on you?

• 31:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Can you go get some from his room?

• 31:24Speaker 04

  I want to know what it smells like.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, go upstairs.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  And if there's a candy bar, just grab it.

• 31:29Bobby Lee?

  By the kitchen. If you go by this kitchen, the table, there's a few in the middle of the table. And get about four or five.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, and if you see a candy bar.

• 31:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I gave him white rice.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  A tribute to Vietnam's cultural symbol of livelihood.

• 31:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know how I feel about the Vietnamese, so I had to give it away.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Hate them, is your way, yeah.

• 31:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I love them. Well, dude.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. You're the first, you helped me realize what an Asian was.

• 31:50Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Korean. I could never pick out the Asians.

• 31:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  But I saw you and Margaret Cho and I saw similarities in your faces.

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  What are the similarities? This is so funny.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Are you Korean?

• 31:58Bobby Lee?

  I don't like the way you said that, but yes.

• 32:00Speaker 04

  I think of them all the same.

• 32:02Bobby Lee?

  I know, but there's not.

• 32:04Speaker 04

  I went like that because I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure which one you were.

• 32:09Bobby Lee?

  Change your unsure face.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  No, my unsure face is always that.

• 32:12Bobby Lee?

  No, no, change your unsure face because it's a little.

• 32:14Speaker 04

  That's also my rape face.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  Because I'm unsure. I can't change it.

• 32:21Bobby Lee?

  So, um, so when you see a Filipino, hence, and a Korean, right?

• 32:28Speaker 04

  It looks Mexican.

• 32:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right, but do you feel the same when you look at a Korean and a Filipino?

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Hmm, I don't know.

• 32:34Bobby Lee?

  You don't have any opinion about it?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  I don't care either way. I'm not like upset.

• 32:38Bobby Lee?

  You're not upset about it? Would you penetrate somebody that?

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like brown.

• 32:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, that's great. That's amazing.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:45Bobby Lee?

  You, you, you don't like brown?

• 32:46Speaker 03

  I don't mind him. I just.

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen you with brown.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  He doesn't mind it, which is like saying.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  With any kind of brown?

• 32:51Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen you with brown.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Do you count as brown?

• 32:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm brown.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  That's one of the reasons I moved to New York.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yellow.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, hey!

• 32:59Speaker 03

  That's Dallas coming at you.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  No, I had sex with a black girl that was like British and very whitish. Remember that girl?

• 33:09Bobby Lee?

  Malato girl. They call him Malato?

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Allison.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  She had the makeup here.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  She had like gauges in her.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Ooh, she had a, she had a ponytail.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Have you done full?

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Full lot.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Black.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Bro, that's all she dates.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  That's not all I date.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  She never dates whites.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  That's not true.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Traitor.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  That's not true.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Traitor.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  I'm dating a white now.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  It's of note.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  What did you say to me? It's like interracial dating.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  It's like interracial dating. It's like when you dated a Korean and everyone felt like this is interracial.

• 33:34Bobby Lee?

  That's what it felt like?

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:35Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  It's just like I've never seen you with one.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I did one. Well, that's proof. Hence, you know what I mean? He knows. Um, I had dated a Korean. You know, you know her name?

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Patty Lee.

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, might have been related. There's no way to tell.

• 33:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  It might have been the same person, to be honest.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  Do you find that Korean girls like you or white girls are more attracted to you? Which girls?

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  I feel white girls like me more than Korean girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here we go. So that one's called.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  We got the Woody office of daddy.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. There we go.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  We got, uh, Stora Scuggan. Oh, Moon Milk?

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  Moon Milk?

• 34:10Speaker 00

  Moon Milk?

• 34:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  This is, um, um, W Hotel.

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Um, this is Seoul.

• 34:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Seoul.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  Wait, where's the white rice?

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  He has the white rice.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Tokyo.

• 34:22Bobby Lee?

  I gave it to him, I didn't like it. On my body.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  And, uh...

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  That's not like, that's like a...

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Dead cool.

• 34:28Bobby Lee?

  That's a bullshit one, but anyway. Yeah, so, do you wanna spray one on?

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's, what do you think, what was my personality?

• 34:34Bobby Lee?

  I think Moon Milk.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  That's Moon Milk?

• 34:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think these two right here are too Asian for you.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Too Asian?

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Too Asian for me?

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  No, the, the two bottles there are too Asian for you.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  What would Lawrence wear?

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Who the fuck's Lawrence?

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Lawrence Hart, number one commercial agent in Los Angeles.

• 34:48Bobby Lee?

  I can't believe it. He's the best.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  I've heard that name before.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lawrence Hart is the number one commercial agent in Los Angeles.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  You're doing another one?

• 34:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He's still technically reps me, Lawrence Hart.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 35:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I love him.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  What's his agency again?

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  Aqua.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Aqua Talent.

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  Aqua Talent. And you know how many fucking clients I brought him?

• 35:06Speaker 03

  A lot. You bring him a lot of money.

• 35:07Bobby Lee?

  I probably half his rosters from me, probably.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  I used to just go, "You want a commercial agent? Just randoms."

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Any of the weirdos at the Comedy Store?

• 35:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Guess what? You're never gonna work in acting, but there is a lane for you.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  And it is IT guy and his Coca-Cola commercial.

• 35:23Bobby Lee?

  Like Kevin Christie.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:25Bobby Lee?

  But, but he, he can act.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  He can act, yeah. He's been in stuff, but all the freaks and the weirdos?

• 35:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  It was like, oh, we could, commercials is all your thing.

• 35:33Bobby Lee?

  Yep. Um, I didn't spray on any today. Mmm.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  You work cologne, do chicks like it?

• 35:42Speaker 04

  If it smells good.

• 35:43Bobby Lee?

  It smells good, it works, it's also, it's like my natural scent.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 35:46Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 35:47Speaker 03

  It's strong.

• 35:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. My natural scent. Yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  You're autistic too, so you're really smelling it.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm really smelling it.

• 35:55Bobby Lee?

  Well, I, what I, I go to, I go to a place called The Scent Room on Larchmont, and I like to experiment, go down there, you know?

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Do you ever make your own scent?

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  Well, I was, I, I, I wanted to, one called, I wanted to make one called The Bird Flu. And have the bottle, have the bottle be...

• 36:09Speaker 04

  You could make billions of dollars off that.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  What would the bottle be?

• 36:12Bobby Lee?

  Have the bottle be just a blue bird that's dead? And the smell, it's just my own unique smell, but call it Bird Flu. What do you think?

• 36:20Speaker 04

  I like it.

• 36:21Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't mind it.

• 36:23Bobby Lee?

  Maybe two versions of it, and just sell that.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Man and woman?

• 36:27Speaker 04

  What's the one version?

• 36:28Bobby Lee?

  Maybe a male and, you know how they have Angel for men, Angel for women?

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  Maybe the same similar smell, but make the female one a little sweeter, maybe?

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And then they make the, um, male version a little bit more oakier and woodsy.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Do it opposite, reversed.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  You think I should do reverse?

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, yeah, I, um, I don't like my natural scent. I never have.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Cover it up.

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  What is it, what do you feel like you smell like?

• 36:51Bobby Lee?

  I think I smell like squid. Not because of Squid Games. Not because of Squid Games, but I think-

• 36:56Speaker 04

  That's racist.

• 36:57Bobby Lee?

  I, I'll tell you why.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  Super racist.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's very racist.

• 36:59Bobby Lee?

  You think I'm being racist against Koreans?

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:02Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm saying I. I'm not saying all Koreans smell like squid.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Whoa!

• 37:05Bobby Lee?

  What, what, no!

• 37:06Speaker 04

  I'm seeing the Koreans.

• 37:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, what I'm fucking saying is this, okay?

• 37:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:10Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying, listen to what I'm saying, dude.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:11Bobby Lee?

  Is, growing up, right? I didn't spit on you, dude, that's offensive.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  But I'm smelling squid now.

• 37:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah, yeah. When I was growing up, my mom would hang squid all over the house.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 37:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay? And so it's like, and I know that smell, I'd wake up with it.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Squid are very smart. Very intelligent.

• 37:26Bobby Lee?

  They're dried.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  They're dried, it's not-

• 37:28Bobby Lee?

  They're not alive squid, just like in my house.

• 37:30Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I'm just saying, I was saying in general, that they're intelligent.

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  So, you know, they would dry squid, so it's like, all, get it like that. That was my fucking house.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 37:38Bobby Lee?

  Right? So you would like, um, and I would wake up with it, so I always thought that I smelled like that.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  Gotcha.

• 37:44Bobby Lee?

  So I would go get, back in the day, like, Drakkar.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  Drakkar, that's what I wore.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  Ooh, my dad wore-

• 37:49Bobby Lee?

  And Cool Water.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  Water, that's the best men's cologne.

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  I thought Drakkar was the best and Cool Water was number two, and that's it.

• 37:55Bobby Lee?

  That's it.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  What about Curve?

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Old Spice.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  Curve for men.

• 37:57Bobby Lee?

  Curve was good.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  No, Curve.

• 37:59Bobby Lee?

  Angel for men was okay too, that came around, oh, you know-

• 38:01Speaker 03

  I don't know any of those.

• 38:02Bobby Lee?

  Issey Miyake. Do you remember that?

• 38:04Speaker 04

  No.

• 38:05Bobby Lee?

  That's when like, maybe fifteen years ago, when, you know, like the Japanese were getting into the game or whatever. They're like, "I'm gonna get Issey Miyake, dude." You know what I mean?

• 38:13Speaker 02

  You know what you smell like? You know what he smells like? You ever been around like five day old pancakes?

• 38:21Speaker 00

  The greatest interjection ever in a conversation.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  That's actually better than squid. I would take pancakes for squid.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Who's around five day old pancakes? Who at day two doesn't go, oh, these gotta be thrown out?

• 38:35Speaker 02

  You never smell five day old pancakes?

• 38:37Bobby Lee?

  I have not.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  That's what you smell like, sweet, but, you know, not.

• 38:41Speaker 04

  Pancakes can be sweet. That's actually not bad. That's better than squid.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 38:47Bobby Lee?

  Adrian, I want to say, um, I never, so the first time I met you, do you remember? Before we have our, we had a conversation.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  The Comedy Cellar?

• 38:54Bobby Lee?

  At the Cellar.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 38:56Bobby Lee?

  And, um, yeah, I was a little nervous.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  I know, and I was like, why? Everyone loves you.

• 39:01Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I, you know, it's not my room.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  But that's how I feel about like rooms in LA. It's not, it's not my room either.

• 39:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's not familiar.

• 39:09Speaker 04

  It's not familiar.

• 39:10Bobby Lee?

  The crowds are a little different, maybe, you think?

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Less actors in the audience.

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  Excuse me?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Less actors in the audience.

• 39:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  More like tough guys.

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  In New York?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  It depends. A Comedy Cellar now can be pretty like European. It depends. It could be like a mix of stuff.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  But wait, so you're there, you meet her, and what?

• 39:26Speaker 04

  But we're at the bar.

• 39:27Bobby Lee?

  We're at the bar, and, um.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  What do you drink?

• 39:30Bobby Lee?

  Was it the night where Louis and, and Chris Rock were there or no?

• 39:34Speaker 04

  Yes, I think it was.

• 39:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So there was the, um, that, you know, that main table back in the, you know?

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, the, the comics table.

• 39:42Bobby Lee?

  The big, yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  But you were so shy.

• 39:44Bobby Lee?

  So I went up to, because in my mind, I was like, oh, I want to go hang out with the big comics table. And I went up and I see Mark Maron, and I'm like, oh, I can do it. He's a friend. But then I see that Louis and Chris are there, and Mark looked at me as if, don't come.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  He plays a status card.

• 39:59Bobby Lee?

  So I think Mark did this.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Really?

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  I think in my mind.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  Louis would have been really nice to you.

• 40:06Bobby Lee?

  So I went, ee, and I went the other way.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Too nerve wracking.

• 40:08Bobby Lee?

  Right, so I sat next to you, I think.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're at the bar.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  And you were so nice to me.

• 40:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm pretty nice.

• 40:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but no, but nicer than, what?

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Despite her prickly demeanor and.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  I think I also could tell you felt uncomfortable there and I've been there before and I know what that feels like.

• 40:23Bobby Lee?

  Right, I think that you did.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  When I was new there, instead of going up straight through the, I would go downstairs, through the hallway, then upstairs so I could come out right by the comics table. So I could like quickly glance and pretend to go the other way. Cause it's too embarrassing to go right there and then turn around.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  Right, if you walk there.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  And then like.

• 40:38Bobby Lee?

  Wow, you have a system.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. So many people I didn't know.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  They're comfortable.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  And I would think you would never be uncomfortable anywhere.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  I'm so uncomfortable, always.

• 40:46Bobby Lee?

  Wait, now is there, is there a table there that you would be uncomfortable going?

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Where, the cellar?

• 40:51Bobby Lee?

  No, the cellar, but like the people.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  I know one at the cellar.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Where?

• 40:55Speaker 03

  The black table.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Oh, I like the black people.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Where Ro and Derek hang out.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  No, I like hanging out with them. They're loud, but I like them.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:01Bobby Lee?

  Hmm. I also, for some reason, and is this wrong of me, and I feel, the last time I did it, it was, um, I felt ashamed.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  At the cellar?

• 41:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can I tell you what I did?

• 41:12Speaker 04

  What'd you do?

• 41:13Bobby Lee?

  I, for some reason, when I'm there, I feel like I have to bow, do a slight bow and a double handshake to Michael Shea.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Why?

• 41:23Bobby Lee?

  I don't know why. I, for some, he sits at that.

• 41:26Speaker 04

  I don't even think he would like that.

• 41:28Bobby Lee?

  I do it every time.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  Can you show us on our.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so what I do is I'll be talking to everyone in the, right, and then I'll be like, you know, I mean, you know, people that I know or whatever, and then I'll be like, in my perif, he's at another table.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  I'll be Michael Shea.

• 41:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, right there. Yeah, there's a hoodie.

• 41:43Bobby Lee?

  So then I'll do, and I'll kind of walk and go, I don't think you should do it. And every time I walk by, I go, you know, I always say something like, put your hand, I gotta say hi to you.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Oh my god, that's so embarrassing, Bobby. Don't do that. You don't have to do that.

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  Are you sure?

• 42:01Speaker 00

  Are you sure?

• 42:02Bobby Lee?

  Are you sure?

• 42:03Speaker 03

  You don't have to do that.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  Be more respectful.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  You should not do that. Unless you're fucking with him and keep doing it.

• 42:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 42:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'm not fucking with him.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  You have to keep doing it now to make it seem like you are fucking with him.

• 42:11Bobby Lee?

  No, I gotta stop doing it because, and then at the, he came to the comedy store.

• 42:14Speaker 04

  He doesn't like it.

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  And he came to the comedy store and I did something even weirder.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  What'd you do?

• 42:19Bobby Lee?

  I did something even weirder.

• 42:20Speaker 00

  Okay, here we go, one more time.

• 42:21Bobby Lee?

  So, yeah, yeah, so he was in a circle in the, by the kitchen, right, and I waited patiently, right, what are you looking at, dude?

• 42:30Speaker 00

  Looking at you.

• 42:30Bobby Lee?

  If you slam me right, no, you're not in this scene. You're not in the sketch, dude.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  I'm watching.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  People are around.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  Close your eyes.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're the bartender, okay, right.

• 42:38Bobby Lee?

  Right, so I waited patiently until he was done with his conversation and go. Excuse me, Mr. Shea. You can go up whenever you want to, you know, the club's open to you.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  You said that?

• 42:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:52Bobby Lee?

  And he goes, "No, man, I'm just hanging out." I go, "Okay." And I walked away.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  If I'm Michael Shea, I'm like, "Wait, do you still work here?"

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Why'd you do that?

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Did you buy the club?

• 43:01Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 43:01Speaker 00

  Why'd you do that?

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Why did you do that?

• 43:03Bobby Lee?

  Because in my mind, you know what I mean? Um, because every time I see clips, you know, he's doing the weekend, he's doing the weekend update on SNL.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:12Bobby Lee?

  And I'm trained as being a mad TV person to be their bitch.

• 43:16Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 43:17Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 43:18Bobby Lee?

  So every time I'm around any of them, I go, "Excuse me, Amy Poehler."

• 43:21Speaker 04

  Stop doing it.

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  "Would you like to," you know what I mean?

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I just, I was conditioned to do that.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Conditioned.

• 43:27Bobby Lee?

  Right, so when I see Michael Shea, I go, "Should I?" So I think I'm gonna change it by going, "I'll change it, go ahead, Michael Shea again."

• 43:35Bobby Lee?

  Ready?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Wait, am I talking now?

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're right, yeah.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:40Bobby Lee?

  What up? Is that better?

• 43:44Speaker 03

  I mean, it is better.

• 43:46Speaker 03

  It's horrible, but it's...

• 43:48Bobby Lee?

  That's all I wanna know, is it better? Is it better? Is it better? Yeah, yeah.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  You've started the...

• 43:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So there's no one that you give respect like that to?

• 43:55Speaker 04

  That I bow to?

• 43:56Bobby Lee?

  Not bow, but I'm Korean. So it's not like a full, it's more of a, you know what I mean, you know what I mean? Like a courtesy. It's our wave.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 44:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  I walked away from Quinta Tarantino.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you're right, you have nobody...

• 44:08Speaker 04

  I would just say hi, but like, yeah, I don't know.

• 44:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:15Bobby Lee?

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• 44:56Speaker 02

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• 45:09Speaker 00

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• 45:24Bobby Lee?

  Shopify, Shopify, Shopify for you. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. Let me tell you guys something, man. Let's be real for a second. We have an online business here at the Tiger Belly Incorporated, right? And we use only the greatest fabrics and, and other things. And we also have the best way of shipping our stuff out and organizing our plans, you know? And we use Shopify. You know why? Because they're the best. Home of the number one checkout on the planet, man.

• 45:58Speaker 05

  So if you're into growing your business, you, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web. In your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between.

• 46:11Bobby Lee?

  Businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Tiger Belly uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/TigerBelly, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com/TigerBelly to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/TigerBelly.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. I met George Carlin. I was, I had to get him a sandwich from Greenblatt's. Yeah. When he was in the store. Yeah. And I was like, here's your sandwich, Mr. Carlin. And he goes, first of all, it's George, relax. Yeah.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  That's cool.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  That's cool. And he goes, and, and he gave me 20 bucks. I'm like, no, the store paid for it. He goes, I know.

• 46:50Bobby Lee?

  I know. I'm so glad you said that. I was working the back door when he used to come. And one year he goes, um, what's your name? And I go, Bobby Lee. And then, like, he didn't say anything for the next, like, week.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:03Bobby Lee?

  But the next year, I was working the back door again. And he came up to me, and he doesn't stop, and he goes, Mr. Lee, and he just walked by. And he remembered my last name. What a respectful. I always remember that.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  Also, I mean, Lee is like a pretty good shot, anyway.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Like, even if he's wrong.

• 47:18Bobby Lee?

  It's a gamble, yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 04

  It's a gamble, but like...

• 47:20Speaker 03

  It's a gamble, yeah. He might not have known, he was just being racist.

• 47:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  He was trying to insult you, and he accidentally got it right.

• 47:26Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:27Bobby Lee?

  Well, in my mind, you know, he remembered, okay?

• 47:28Speaker 04

  I'm sure he did.

• 47:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  That's cool.

• 47:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  It's like going Mr. Sanchez for fucking any Latino.

• 47:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You remember when Pryor used to come in back in the day?

• 47:37Speaker 03

  No, he was gone before I got there.

• 47:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. He was in his wheelchair, and he'd go up, he would bomb so bad. You know what I mean?

• 47:44Speaker 04

  What did the audience do?

• 47:45Bobby Lee?

  I mean, give him respect, obviously, it's Richard Pryor.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:48Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? But it's like, um, wow, he had a booger on his nose once. I remember Freddie, like, wiping the booger on stage, you know what I mean? Because he just...

• 47:55Speaker 04

  That's respectful.

• 47:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very respectful.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  To eat it? That would be respectful.

• 48:00Bobby Lee?

  You don't respect Pryor?

• 48:02Speaker 03

  No, I, no, I do.

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:05Bobby Lee?

  You gotta respect people like that.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, but also at the same time, what a chance to fuck with somebody. Put a spoke in his wheel.

• 48:11Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  You know?

• 48:12Bobby Lee?

  Or stick dirt in his mouth.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Stick dirt in his mouth.

• 48:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Put a booger on his nose.

• 48:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  It's not even his booger. Maybe that's what Freddie did. He goes, let me rub it off, it really stuck.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  In high, in middle school, there was a guy that had, in a wheelchair, and his mouth was constantly open. Right? And he was like, well, I don't know what the disability is, but kids used to put fucking dirt in his mouth. Right?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:31Bobby Lee?

  And I used to dig it out with my fingers.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  That's actually very nice of you.

• 48:34Bobby Lee?

  But then I would put Skittles in it.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  That's nice.

• 48:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's better.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  Better.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Better.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  It's like same thing.

• 48:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  It's still bad, but it's better.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like your Michael Che thing, bad but better.

• 48:44Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, right.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, um, do you guys think that you're, as you get older, you're improving in sex?

• 48:52Speaker 04

  I think you kinda just become more who you are. You care a little bit less. I would say maybe, yeah.

• 48:57Bobby Lee?

  There's not a move that you do that you're like, "Oh, that's pretty good," or whatever.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  Not every move works on everyone. You could have a move that works with one guy and then you do it and he's just like, "Oh, that does nothing for me."

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Mmm. That's true. You're better, as you get older, you're better at reading it.

• 49:09Bobby Lee?

  You're better at reading it?

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you're like, "I don't have just one move. I like thirty."

• 49:12Bobby Lee?

  You have thirty moves?

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, maybe not.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  He has thirty moves, dude.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, because when I watch porn, I say no.

• 49:19Bobby Lee?

  That's a lot of moves, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me, maybe ten moves. Let me, you fucking bullshitter, thirty moves. Maybe ten, dude. Maybe five moves. Give me five moves, Ari. Alright? Number one, missionary.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Missionary.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two, cowgirl. Number three, reverse cowgirl.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:40Bobby Lee?

  Number four, doggy.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Standing up.

• 49:43Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Holding them up while I'm standing.

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'll give you that. Standing.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  One leg up, standing.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Ah, it's still standing.

• 49:49Bobby Lee?

  That's still standing.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  There's diff- oh, they're both laying.

• 49:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Wh- wh- when you're waving, standing, is that a different move?

• 49:55Speaker 03

  On the side.

• 49:55Bobby Lee?

  A waving, standing, pointing up, standing, right? Thumbs up, standing, are they all moves?

• 50:00Speaker 03

  On the side.

• 50:01Bobby Lee?

  You're standing, asshole.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  On the side. How about this? I'm, I'm above, spit in the eye. Spit in the eye.

• 50:05Bobby Lee?

  That's not a move, dude. You're making it up.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  In the eye!

• 50:08Bobby Lee?

  That's called fucking-

• 50:08Speaker 04

  It is a move, I think. It's not a good one.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  I like him dry.

• 50:11Bobby Lee?

  I think it's illegal.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  I like him dry.

• 50:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, alright.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Punched him in the rib.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Punched him in the rib. There you go, Mr. Sanchez.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Oh, Garcia.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Garcia.

• 50:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  I'll let you slide this time.

• 50:23Bobby Lee?

  You know those things-

• 50:24Speaker 03

  I've got seventy sex positions.

• 50:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you know fifty of them.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  Bobby, are you dating?

• 50:29Bobby Lee?

  Nobody.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  Nobody.

• 50:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You know, I find, um, I'd- What?

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Go ahead.

• 50:35Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead. No, you go. You're gonna, you're gonna say something rude. Go ahead.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 50:39Bobby Lee?

  I can, I can tell.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  It's gonna be serious.

• 50:41Bobby Lee?

  Be serious with me. Deal- we're friends, we've been friends for over thirty years.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Over twenty-five years.

• 50:45Bobby Lee?

  Twenty-five years. Let's be friends.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you need a girlfriend.

• 50:47Bobby Lee?

  I know, me too.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  I want you to have a girlfriend.

• 50:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, me too!

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Kind of being just like hot, young chick.

• 50:52Bobby Lee?

  I know, me too.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Ari.

• 50:55Bobby Lee?

  Ari. Ari. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 04

  Let's be serious.

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  Let's be serious.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Serious, yeah.

• 50:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You turned it into a joke, dude.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you need to go- I don't date comics.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  How are you gonna get a girlfriend?

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, how? I've done it before.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  You did it a decade ago.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  But you still did it.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  I still did it, and also, um, you know, I've been seeing women since... You try it out, right? It's like, it's a trial period, and you kinda go, "Ah, you know, it's not gonna work."

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Okay, can I give you some advice?

• 51:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  From a chick.

• 51:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, hold on, let me drink this, let me finish it.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  Okay, and I mean this sincerely, and not hurtful.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  Wait, wait.

• 51:28Bobby Lee?

  Let me finish this, please, thank you.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  Could this advice help me too? Cause-

• 51:33Speaker 04

  No.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  No, damn it. Cause he's aged, and like, I'm still young.

• 51:39Bobby Lee?

  What is wrong with you today? You're so, you're so confrontational with me.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  No, I'm saying, cause she's gonna give you advice, but I don't know-

• 51:46Speaker 04

  You can apply it to you too, though.

• 51:47Bobby Lee?

  Just apply it to you, listen.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  Back in.

• 51:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  By the way, I have a new Netflix special out called America's Sweetheart.

• 51:53Bobby Lee?

  We're gonna do that later.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Thank you so much for promoting it.

• 51:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 51:57Speaker 04

  Okay. Can you stop taking girls to Hawaii?

• 52:03Speaker 04

  No, and take them to Ohio. Offer to take them somewhere undesirable to see if they really like you.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  That's a good idea.

• 52:11Bobby Lee?

  Well, if we're gonna do that, let's go somewhere even worse, then.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Pittsburgh.

• 52:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Pittsburgh's pretty bad.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  Dayton, Ohio's pretty bad, though.

• 52:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. How about, um-

• 52:18Speaker 03

  Will you come with me to Dayton?

• 52:20Bobby Lee?

  Corpus Christi, it's so muggy and-

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Absolutely, I want you to take girls there.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  All right, yeah, if they're willing to go with you there.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  That means they really like you.

• 52:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  It's not a free trip, it's responsibility, and they're willing to do it.

• 52:30Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  They wanna spend time with you.

• 52:32Bobby Lee?

  So, "Hey, baby, what's up? You good? What you doing? No, what?"

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Are we good? What'd you, are you Marc Maron?

• 52:43Bobby Lee?

  Hold on, this is not how I talk.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you, dude.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, start over, I'll, let me get in the mood.

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you, dude, that's how I talk.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Wow, confrontational.

• 52:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  It's not the way to endear yourself to chicks.

• 52:55Speaker 04

  No.

• 52:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What's up, baby, baby?

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Nah, it's better.

• 52:59Bobby Lee?

  It wasn't, though. It wasn't.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  It was a lot better.

• 53:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out how you break. You wanna go, have you been to Corpus?

• 53:07Speaker 04

  You just say, hey, you wanna come away with me this weekend, and then you take them.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  And they're like, and then they're like.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  You don't tell them where they're going?

• 53:12Speaker 04

  You don't tell them where they're going.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  No, you gotta.

• 53:13Bobby Lee?

  No, they have to know. They're gonna ask.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  Otherwise, they go, oh, I would not have.

• 53:16Bobby Lee?

  The outfits that they bring.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Okay, fine.

• 53:19Bobby Lee?

  Don't they bring outfits?

• 53:20Speaker 04

  They can bring one.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. How about that? Like, hey, I'm going to Corpus Christi this weekend.

• 53:23Speaker 04

  Do you wanna come?

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why are you going there?

• 53:25Speaker 04

  I'm working. I'm doing a show. You wanna come there?

• 53:27Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm not doing, I don't, I wouldn't play Corpus Christi.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Okay, you just wanna go there, then.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta go to ball.

• 53:32Bobby Lee?

  No, it should be not working. It's gotta be like, this is a vacation.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 53:35Bobby Lee?

  So would you like to go on vacation with me?

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Can't you just say, let's go there?

• 53:38Bobby Lee?

  Let's go to Corpus Christi. And they go, why? And then what do you say?

• 53:41Speaker 04

  I wanna spend, I wanna spend time with you.

• 53:43Bobby Lee?

  I wanna spend.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  I wanna spend time with you.

• 53:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, then she'll, why can't we go to Hawaii?

• 53:47Speaker 04

  Who wants to go to Hawaii? Too many, too many distractions.

• 53:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's right.

• 53:50Speaker 04

  Everyone wants to go there, that's why.

• 53:51Bobby Lee?

  Hey, go ahead.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  There's a Korean restaurant I heard about there that I wanna try.

• 53:54Bobby Lee?

  That's what the fuck?

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 53:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  Find out all cool things to do in Corpus. And then make that, that's why you're.

• 53:59Bobby Lee?

  You like, you like eating crawdads?

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 54:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. They have a crawdad bowl.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  I've never eaten one, but I've heard about it.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  You've never eaten a crawdad bowl there, dude. And it's raw.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:08Bobby Lee?

  And vegan.

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 04

  See, there's a protest going on. You wanna protest?

• 54:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're staying at a suite in the Residence Inn.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  All right. Oh, even, do all of it low.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, they don't even say it a really nice day.

• 54:21Bobby Lee?

  And the food, like, canes? We're just gonna eat at Canes?

• 54:23Speaker 04

  I don't know, whatever, yeah, regular food. But let's, let's get you a girl that likes you for you.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  And then take her to Hawaii after.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, once she proves it.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  Once she likes you, and you guys are having a nice time together, and you're in a relationship.

• 54:33Bobby Lee?

  It's funny that you brought that up, because you listened to a private story that I told you guys, and you guys brought that up.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  I would not have brought it up.

• 54:42Bobby Lee?

  It's very interesting that I was intimate with you.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  I was not gonna.

• 54:46Bobby Lee?

  In, in, in, in an intimate space, and I go, this is what's going on with me.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Wait, you're actually not who told you?

• 54:51Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  I'm not who told you?

• 54:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 54:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah! Yes! I would never share something like that.

• 54:56Speaker 00

  Who was it?

• 54:57Bobby Lee?

  It had to be you.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  I don't think it was.

• 54:59Bobby Lee?

  You!

• 55:00Speaker 04

  It was not.

• 55:00Bobby Lee?

  It wouldn't have, well, then tell me who it was.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  I can't.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Off air.

• 55:03Bobby Lee?

  Well, we'll bleep it, we'll bleep it, but tell me who it is.

• 55:06Speaker 00

  Do the mouth thing, just cover.

• 55:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because now, because I wanna see if you're lying.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 55:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  They betrayed, so you can be.

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So who was it?

• 55:12Speaker 04

  Maybe it was Ari.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  I knew it, you fucking asshole.

• 55:20Bobby Lee?

  I wouldn't have said it on air.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  All right, cut it out, cut it out.

• 55:23Bobby Lee?

  No, no, we're not cutting that out.

• 55:26Bobby Lee?

  We didn't say enough, that was good. So what I'm saying is, I tell you, you fucking cocksucker.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  I was like, uh, about to go through it.

• 55:31Bobby Lee?

  An intimate story that happened to me, and then you share it with...

• 55:33Speaker 03

  I'm sharing an intimate story about my friend who's going through it, and I was like, I just feel bad for him.

• 55:38Speaker 04

  He didn't say it in a bad way, he genuinely cared about you.

• 55:40Bobby Lee?

  I know, but what I'm saying is, but here's what you did. Yeah, yeah, you brought it into the atmosphere.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Honestly, I thought everyone knew.

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  No, not everyone knew.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  So Luis Gomez brings everyone to Jamaica, and I thought that was your thing.

• 55:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let me ask you about Luis... Let me ask about Luis Gomez, okay? He texted me today.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Oh, whoa.

• 55:58Bobby Lee?

  I know, is that bad?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  I could go one of two.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I could go.

• 56:00Bobby Lee?

  All right, so he...

• 56:01Speaker 04

  I thought that was a known thing, sorry.

• 56:02Bobby Lee?

  I've never, I've never even... I've talked to him once in my life.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Did he say, "What's up with Hawaii"?

• 56:08Bobby Lee?

  And he goes...

• 56:10Speaker 04

  He's like, "Do you have a good place I can start bringing my chicks to"?

• 56:12Speaker 03

  I'll be cooler.

• 56:12Bobby Lee?

  That'd be so cool, dude. And he goes, um, "Hey dude..."

• 56:16Speaker 03

  Sounds, okay, sounds like Luis so far.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Pretty good?

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:19Bobby Lee?

  "You available"? That always scares me.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Oh, Skank Fest, you want to do Skank Fest?

• 56:22Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  To do mine and Big Jay's podcast, Story Wars, at the Comedy Store.

• 56:29Speaker 04

  It's fun, yeah, you should do it.

• 56:30Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 56:30Speaker 03

  Oh, so you come with like...

• 56:32Speaker 04

  It's like a game show.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  They give you a topic, like, um, like Halloween, and then you're like, have a few, like, one-minute stories about Halloween, and then they take out all the details, and they say it, and then you have to guess whose story it is. And then everyone sits on it. So if it'd be like...

• 56:46Speaker 04

  It's fun, you would like it.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, if it was like, I was walking along, walls, I don't know, like, I was in a museum, then everyone gets rude, like, "It would never be her, she's uncultured, she'll never go to a museum."

• 56:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's a fun, that's fun, that's fun.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Even if it is, you're like, "What the fuck's that supposed to mean"?

• 56:57Speaker 04

  If he wanted you to do his own podcast, I'd say no, but that's fun.

• 57:00Bobby Lee?

  You look like you've been doing a museum, by the way.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  I could do, yeah.

• 57:03Bobby Lee?

  You look like you've been in a museum.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  We've been in museums together.

• 57:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he doesn't look like he's been to a museum. Yes, I have. Which one?

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Doing landscaping?

• 57:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, also, why are you working today?

• 57:14Speaker 02

  I know, I'm supposed to be off, but he, uh, he caught me in.

• 57:16Bobby Lee?

  You know, today, what it is today is?

• 57:18Speaker 02

  A day with, uh...

• 57:20Speaker 03

  Day with immigration.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  Black History Month?

• 57:21Bobby Lee?

  No, no, day with...

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that one's a big one.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  A day without a Mexican?

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  No, yeah, day with, uh, day, day without, uh, um...

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Immigration.

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  Immigrant, immigrants.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Immigrants.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Is it a day without immigrants?

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so today, um, everyone...

• 57:31Speaker 03

  You're not an immigrant?

• 57:32Bobby Lee?

  Not working.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  You're not an immigrant?

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  No, even Hispanics...

• 57:34Speaker 03

  You are an immigrant.

• 57:35Bobby Lee?

  That are helping, you know what I mean, with the cause.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  Where were you born?

• 57:39Speaker 02

  What, I can't say that?

• 57:40Bobby Lee?

  No, you guys are the people who know that.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Viva la raza.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  You're born in Mexico.

• 57:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you born in Mexico?

• 57:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:46Bobby Lee?

  Uh.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  You're born in America?

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Born, uh, yeah.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  So you're not an immigrant?

• 57:49Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  So you're abiding, day without an immigrant? You don't, you don't have any?

• 57:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's right.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, good.

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Way to abide.

• 57:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So it's like, oh, so I thought it was all Hispanics, but I guess it's not.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  I mean, you gotta support your people.

• 57:59Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying, I think people are doing it to support their...

• 58:01Speaker 03

  What about the Chinese immigrants? Too many of those, am I right?

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  I'll give you that one.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  We don't get enough credit for fucking up this place.

• 58:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  Are there...

• 58:10Speaker 03

  How about, wait till I get off the elevator before you get on? How about that?

• 58:15Speaker 04

  That's also black people, though.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  That's also black people. No, when black people do it, all their speakerphone on their phone.

• 58:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'm about to get on the elevator.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  This white bitch trying to get off?

• 58:29Speaker 04

  Get out of my fucking way!

• 58:32Bobby Lee?

  So, um, I wanna say something about you guys, um, that's a little observation of mine.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 58:38Bobby Lee?

  And, and I think me and Andrew Santino are, um, I don't think that we're as free as you guys, and I'm gonna tell you why, and it's, and it's changed, uh, just let me finish. It changed, it's changing the way I perceive, you know what I mean, my own life, and I wanna change my ways and my behavior and the way I look at life, based on you guys.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 58:59Bobby Lee?

  All right, so is, am I clear about this? Okay.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 59:02Bobby Lee?

  So, I think what, the, the, the cause of my pain... In my business is my deep link with Hollywood. I've talked to you about that.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:13Bobby Lee?

  And I would look at you guys and there's more of a freedom, right? And whenever I think, um, you know what, fuck Hollywood, if I don't work again, I don't work again. It makes me so relaxed and my shoulders get loose and I just feel more bouncy and free, right? But when I think about like, when I'm watching like a trailer and I see Josh Peck on it, or you know what I mean? Or somebody that I know, you know what I mean? It, I go, oh.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  I don't know who that is.

• 59:39Bobby Lee?

  You don't know?

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Josh Peck?

• 59:40Bobby Lee?

  You don't know Josh Peck?

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Is that you? No.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 59:43Bobby Lee?

  How do you not?

• 59:44Speaker 04

  I don't know Josh Peck either.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  Anderson Peck?

• 59:46Speaker 02

  He's a Disney star.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Anderson Peck?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Nick Millian.

• 59:48Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Nick.

• 59:49Bobby Lee?

  Or Nick Millian, yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  Nick.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  Fucking pedo.

• 59:52Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you don't know Josh Peck?

• 59:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 59:54Bobby Lee?

  He's a podcaster here in LA too.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 59:56Bobby Lee?

  He's done this, he's done our podcast.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  What's he wearing in his teeth, those fangs?

• 59:59Bobby Lee?

  Those are real.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  You know what?

• 1:00:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that guy? Yeah, yeah. Josh, oh my god.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  But he was also in Oppenheimer, he's killing it right now, he's doing different things.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  He'll never do anything as good as Josh and Drake, let's be honest.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Josh and Drake was great.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Drake and Josh.

• 1:00:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anyway, anyway, so, um.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Look at that fat piece of shit.

• 1:00:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  If you tell that guy, hey, you're gonna have a long career. Maybe like, you're not gonna have a long life.

• 1:00:22Bobby Lee?

  Put the air off now, yeah. Um, Josh, I'm sorry, but, but, uh, let me give you the exact, I'm watching TV or a movie or something, I go, and then I, I get back into like, what about my shit, right? But I look at you guys and I go, you know what, I think that's probably the path that I, I should be taking.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  I think you should do that, do what you're doing and then just create your own stuff. You're a big enough person where you can create your own project.

• 1:00:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have, I have been doing that.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  Right, so you don't.

• 1:00:45Bobby Lee?

  You know, what Theo and Dave Spade are doing is fucking great.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Here's what you should do.

• 1:00:50Bobby Lee?

  They've funded their own movie.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Here's what you should do.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  You could do that, do your own stuff.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  You should do, get Santino, he's got business sense, you've got Panache, you know comedians, make your own sketches of some point. Of some point, you can star in them, you can be just in them, you can just make something crazy out of the box with no rules, not trying to please some housewife from Arkansas.

• 1:01:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  Right, just do what you wanna do.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Doing your own shit.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  You should also have a cartoon.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  Hollywood come to you, yeah, it's a cartoon.

• 1:01:16Speaker 04

  Do a cartoon.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  Make a lot of money.

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, fuck that dude, you're making a lot of money.

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  Just do your own stuff, you're a big enough name where people will come to you.

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  But I listened to an audiobook last night, I didn't finish it, maybe thirty pages in.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  Who cares about that?

• 1:01:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna tell you about it.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  Now it's all about problem.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:35Bobby Lee?

  I listen to self-help book, Braving the New World. Wait, hold on.

• 1:01:39Speaker 04

  Braving the New World?

• 1:01:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, have you heard of that?

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  No, I've heard of it, but I've never listened to it.

• 1:01:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, I want to see if I got it right here. Hold on, sorry.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  And so what does it tell you to be less concerned with like?

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Hollywood.

• 1:01:48Bobby Lee?

  No, I think it's, yeah, it's called, um, yeah, it's called Braving the Wilderness.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:01:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, um.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  Is your dick out, bro?

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Is he peeing?

• 1:02:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, his dick is out.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  And he's peeing in the thing.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  I like Ari.

• 1:02:04Bobby Lee?

  The head of your dick is so big.

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  It's a good thing, right?

• 1:02:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it looks very healthy. I just, I don't really know what that.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  What'd you say?

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  He's peeing for?

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  He's peeing right now.

• 1:02:11Bobby Lee?

  Look.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  I'm not looking, but.

• 1:02:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  It doesn't make you gay.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  No, I know.

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  Cause he's white. If you looked at like a brown one, you're gay.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  I like Ari.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  Did the bathroom's right here.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  He's not a pussy. You hear me, Bobby?

• 1:02:25Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  I like Ari.

• 1:02:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  He's not a pussy.

• 1:02:27Speaker 04

  He said he's not a pussy.

• 1:02:28Bobby Lee?

  He's a pussy. Yeah, Ari?

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  He's a pussy, Hollywood.

• 1:02:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, shit. I like this guy too.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Oh, it's Brene Brown.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, Brene Brown.

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go up to, um.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  I do love.

• 1:02:38Bobby Lee?

  Go up to, um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go up to Jaime right now with your penis out and just walk toward him, please.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 1:02:44Bobby Lee?

  His attitude is out of control.

• 1:02:45Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 1:02:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:47Speaker 00

  Hey, no, Jaime?

• 1:02:48Bobby Lee?

  You wanna fuck with my friends, dude? You wanna fuck with me, dude?

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  There's always a dick out. It's not gay, cause he's white.

• 1:02:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Ari.

• 1:02:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 1:03:01Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, can you zip that up?

• 1:03:03Speaker 00

  Come on, man. Come on, Jaime?

• 1:03:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  That's somewhere in Nashville, his ass is bleeding so bad.

• 1:03:08Speaker 00

  It's immigrant protest day, man.

• 1:03:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  Today's episode is brought to you by Mountain Valley Spring Water. If you're looking for something to piss into, the head of the thing is really fucking wide. Mountain Valley, look no further.

• 1:03:19Bobby Lee?

  Can you turn that off?

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's off.

• 1:03:20Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 1:03:23Bobby Lee?

  Let me say something. That kind of behavior, though, why do you do that?

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Well, one, I had to urinate.

• 1:03:28Speaker 04

  If we stop reacting.

• 1:03:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, stop reacting, because it's, it's, it's, you've been doing that for years.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  I have been doing it for years.

• 1:03:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, pooing on my car, all that kind of stuff. Come on, guy.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  You shit on his car?

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  No, I shit in a bag and gave it to someone to spread on his car.

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  Oh, shit.

• 1:03:43Speaker 04

  Who did, who spread it?

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  Jim Painter.

• 1:03:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Jim Painter, yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  Justified.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  How much did you pay him?

• 1:03:48Bobby Lee?

  Nothing. Nothing.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:03:50Bobby Lee?

  That was one of the worst nights of my life.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  I have to be honest, your two, your friendship is scary.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Dude, I just realized, I've learned a lot. My sense of humor has really developed from you. Pooping on stage, pissing in bottles.

• 1:04:01Bobby Lee?

  I don't poop on stage.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Dude, you piss on cars.

• 1:04:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm trying to change my ways too, dude.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, well.

• 1:04:08Speaker 04

  Just be free.

• 1:04:09Bobby Lee?

  I want to be free. You're right. Be free.

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  Just be free.

• 1:04:11Bobby Lee?

  Like when you were pooping, I had that photo of you pooping on stage.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Let me see it.

• 1:04:14Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  At Skank Fest?

• 1:04:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's Skank Fest. I have that photo.

• 1:04:17Speaker 03

  How'd you get it? You weren't there.

• 1:04:18Bobby Lee?

  I was there that night. You don't know. I was on Skank Fest that weekend.

• 1:04:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:04:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I was there. Yeah, I didn't run into you.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  That room was so hot, too, and everyone was like, just smell like shit the whole fucking night.

• 1:04:31Bobby Lee?

  I went there with Bargatze.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:33Bobby Lee?

  Bargatze brought me there.

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Bargatze's the only guy, probably in history ever, that has done Skank Fest and hosted Estee Del in the same week.

• 1:04:40Bobby Lee?

  That's insane.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, what a six-day run.

• 1:04:44Bobby Lee?

  And Bert was there, and I was there that night. But, you know, when I look at that photo, I go, there's a freedom that you have, and I think I just need to do that, then.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  But that's pretty crazy, because you're pretty fucking free.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would think you're pretty free. You seem like you do whatever you want to do.

• 1:04:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm not as free as I want to be.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  This reminds me of the time in Private Parts, the Howard Stern movie, where he tells his wife, like, "I think I'm gonna start going for it more." And she's like, "You've not been going for it."

• 1:05:06Speaker 04

  What do you want to do? I do feel like you do whatever you want.

• 1:05:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  You should definitely do a cartoon.

• 1:05:12Bobby Lee?

  No, we are doing one.

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  You are?

• 1:05:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, me and Andrew sold one to Hulu.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  Amazing.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  That's hilarious.

• 1:05:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's move on from that. Fuck that. I don't want to. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  You shouldn't do it.

• 1:05:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Because I know that you're going to London. What's your ultimate dream?

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  I just want to have a fan base and tour.

• 1:05:28Bobby Lee?

  That's all you want?

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Bobby Lee?

  To be able to play places, pack it out, and that's it.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  Total freedom, stand up, mic, stool, crowd, do whatever else you want.

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  Fuck the stool.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  Fuck the stool if you want.

• 1:05:40Bobby Lee?

  I think that's what it is.

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  But that's what you have.

• 1:05:44Bobby Lee?

  I know I have it.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:05:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have it.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  You gotta focus on what you have.

• 1:05:47Speaker 04

  Maybe I'm like a genie.

• 1:05:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what. I think that's what it is. I think that's what it is. Focus on being grateful for what I do right now. Listening to The Wilderness Book.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  Tell me about the book, because I love her. I love Bernadette Brown. Tell me about it.

• 1:05:58Bobby Lee?

  Well, there was, there was a Maya, Maya Angelou told Bernadette Brown, "Be a tree planted by a river. Do not move, ever."

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  Ooh, I love that.

• 1:06:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Black women have the best quotes.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  What the fuck does that mean?

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  Black women have the best quotes.

• 1:06:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do not move.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  What? What?

• 1:06:20Speaker 04

  I kinda just be who you are.

• 1:06:21Bobby Lee?

  Maybe I said it wrong.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  I got what you said though.

• 1:06:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I think, maybe I said it wrong.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  I don't know how it's possible. You made Maya Angelou sound dumb.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  I know. But you find out what the actual quote is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  But I got what he was saying.

• 1:06:34Bobby Lee?

  She got it, you fucking asshole.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  What do you mean, don't move?

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  It means just be who you are. Just commit to it.

• 1:06:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, what, what? Like a tree planted by the river.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  I shall not be moved.

• 1:06:45Speaker 04

  It's the same shit.

• 1:06:46Bobby Lee?

  So, I said it wrong?

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  Move you.

• 1:06:48Bobby Lee?

  Let me see. Like a tree planted by the river, I shall not be moved.

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  It's better.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  But does that, now do you get it?

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  I...

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  How is it my version different?

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  It's word choice.

• 1:06:59Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it was the first time I'd Laurel heard it last night, dude. I mean, you're fucking brave, dude.

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  Okay, alright, I give it to you.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  You're really hard on Bobby.

• 1:07:05Bobby Lee?

  I know, he really is. He really is.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  We razzed each other.

• 1:07:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know, but you used to say things to me that was so out of bounds. It's insane, but anyway.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  We had, we fought.

• 1:07:13Bobby Lee?

  You're not talented and you're dumb. You know that. You're dumb, right?

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Wow, horrid.

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  We were fighting, we were fighting.

• 1:07:18Bobby Lee?

  You're really dumb. You know that, right? Go fuck yourself and you would walk away and I would like to think about it for like a...

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  Cause if I'm fighting with you, I'm gonna say stuff, not even if I believe it. I'm gonna say what will hurt you the most.

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  I know. You were like that.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  That's how me and my family are.

• 1:07:31Bobby Lee?

  Really? You say the meanest things?

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Bobby Lee?

  So you grew up with a lot of, um, trauma and some hostility?

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  My mom's a stand-up.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  My mom's a stand-up.

• 1:07:39Bobby Lee?

  Your mom does stand-up?

• 1:07:40Speaker 04

  Kinda, yeah.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Wow.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  Which one are you drinking?

• 1:07:44Bobby Lee?

  This one.

• 1:07:45Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  There's your beer.

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I find that there's two... I find that there's two... I feel like you're not in our camp.

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  I don't, I think you and I suffered a mass, a mass amounts of, um, trauma.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  He's really autistic, though.

• 1:08:01Bobby Lee?

  I don't think you developed, um, tra- trauma.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  I think he also had really loving parents and stuff, too.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  I have trauma, I just, I just moved past it.

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  What's your trauma?

• 1:08:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's your trauma?

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  I'm not a fucking bitch.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  The fucking Holocaust?

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  What? I just don't bring it up. Just move past it.

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, but sometimes, like, if you grew up around a lot of trauma, you just kinda internalize it and it kinda forms who you are as a person.

• 1:08:20Bobby Lee?

  Like, give me one little ditty. That we don't know about.

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  Nothing, nothing happens.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  It always involves other people. I didn't get raped like a fucking bitch.

• 1:08:27Speaker 04

  But even getting raped is nothing.

• 1:08:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  I didn't get molested.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  That's almost nothing.

• 1:08:32Speaker 03

  No, I shouldn't have said like a bitch, but like nothing like that happened.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay. All right. But someone says something bad to you like, "Doo."

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:08:40Bobby Lee?

  "Doo de doo."

• 1:08:42Speaker 03

  No, one time I was making like one of those make your own pizzas. And like, you know, they give you the ingredients, you gotta put it all there, spread the cheese. And then I got distracted, I left it in the oven too long and it burned.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's what it was.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  I remember being a kid and telling my mother to drop dead and then she said, "You first." Like, that's how I grew up.

• 1:08:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  You're trash.

• 1:09:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  I was like eight.

• 1:09:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  I was so young. That's where I learned to be like that.

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  I one time was looking for like something in the fridge. My dad was like, "It's right there." I'm like, "You're crazy. It's not there." He goes, "Don't, you don't ever say your father's crazy. Don't you ever say that." I was like, "Okay."

• 1:09:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. One time I went.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  Different upbringing.

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, different upbringing. It's a little bit different.

• 1:09:20Bobby Lee?

  One time I went, "Good morning daddy." He goes, "Do look at me."

• 1:09:24Bobby Lee?

  Really, that kind of stuff.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  That's worse.

• 1:09:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. That's pretty worse, yeah.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  How about you?

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  Me, um, one time I accidentally say, "Iho, no wait, "I had a supincha marte." Which means like, "Son of a bitch" to your mom.

• 1:09:35Bobby Lee?

  And then what happened?

• 1:09:36Speaker 04

  Oh, because your dad wasn't around.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, my mom was around.

• 1:09:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  And my mom hit me.

• 1:09:40Bobby Lee?

  What does that mean, though?

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  Her dad's a bitch.

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Bobby Lee?

  You called her a bitch?

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:44Speaker 03

  No, her dad's a bitch.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  My mom's, oh wait, my mom's not a bitch, but I said that.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Her dad was a bitch. You called your own father a bitch?

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, dude.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  Oh my god, dude.

• 1:09:53Speaker 03

  You flew him out here for this?

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Did you put him up in a hotel?

• 1:09:58Speaker 03

  We put him up in a hotel.

• 1:09:58Speaker 02

  Hotel.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Hotel.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  Hotel. That's not that bad, though.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, there is.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  It's bad?

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Should've said, "Don't tell."

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Don't tell.

• 1:10:07Bobby Lee?

  Adrian, what, what's, do you like LA or no?

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't mind it.

• 1:10:10Bobby Lee?

  Could you live here?

• 1:10:11Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  She thought about it. She thought about moving here.

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  I don't know if I'm gonna move here.

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  You thought about it.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  I don't mind it. I like, I think it's an easier lifestyle.

• 1:10:19Bobby Lee?

  I think it is easier. You have to be, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  Like, New York City, it's just like, you're just mad all the time.

• 1:10:24Speaker 03

  It's just disgusting. Your apartment's always breaking down. They're not doing anything about it.

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's, I mean, there's traffic around here too, but like, New York City is just, you're constantly mad.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  You get hit in the foot by a rat on the way home. You're like, "Touch my fucking foot." It's just like.

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  You get into a fight at like 7-Eleven. It's just, you're fighting all, especially in the Bronx where I live. I'm just mad all the time. Because you live in the Bronx.

• 1:10:43Bobby Lee?

  But, um. Everyone's like, I mean, I don't, why do you live there? Because of stage time?

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  I grew up there. I kinda don't know better.

• 1:10:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 1:10:52Speaker 04

  I've lived there like, I'm like institutional, what is it when you're institutionalized? You've just like been in there too long?

• 1:10:57Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a hard way.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  I come here and I have to like, control my anger.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  I have to, I have to not act like an animal.

• 1:11:06Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  I have to not act like a goddamn animal.

• 1:11:07Bobby Lee?

  You seemed pleasant even then when I met, I talked to you.

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's probably acting.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  She first went to Portugal and everybody there was like, hi, and she goes, what, what?

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  It was just weird.

• 1:11:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you drink?

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:11:22Bobby Lee?

  Are you a sober person?

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:11:24Speaker 03

  I got her high one time.

• 1:11:25Bobby Lee?

  In the program?

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:11:26Bobby Lee?

  Are you a program sober or no?

• 1:11:27Speaker 04

  I'm a program person.

• 1:11:27Bobby Lee?

  You are?

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, I go to multiple program things.

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  You've drank?

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, but like, there's a lot of different stuff. I go for like, food, I go for shopping, like, there's so many different things I could be addicted to.

• 1:11:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:11:40Speaker 03

  I got her high one time in somewhere.

• 1:11:41Speaker 04

  Well, we've had a good couple of times that we've smoked and then...

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  And she was just, cause then we were in a diner talking, and I was like, you know how...

• 1:11:49Bobby Lee?

  In New York or?

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  In, somewhere in Texas.

• 1:11:51Speaker 04

  Texas, Austin.

• 1:11:52Speaker 03

  And I was like, um, this is before all the motherships, it was like 10 years ago. And I was like, who would you not kill in comedy, but who would you have never have existed?

• 1:12:00Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, there's something like this.

• 1:12:01Speaker 03

  So you can wipe them away.

• 1:12:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  So no one misses them, no one goes, oh, you did this.

• 1:12:06Bobby Lee?

  Well, I like this game.

• 1:12:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07Bobby Lee?

  Does it be, does it have to be a personal thing or just in your...

• 1:12:09Speaker 04

  Whoever.

• 1:12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, sometimes they're just like, eh, they're just lame.

• 1:12:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, God, okay. You have one?

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  It would have been you at some point. During our fighting times, I would have been like, Bobby, get rid of him. Even some people are just annoying in conversation, I'm like, ugh, beat it.

• 1:12:22Bobby Lee?

  Why? Because I did nothing?

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, you did nothing. But I'm saying, it's not now anymore. Now I'd fight against it.

• 1:12:26Bobby Lee?

  I did nothing.

• 1:12:27Speaker 03

  Fair, fair.

• 1:12:29Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? You still, see, that's the thing, that's what I see. There's still 2% in there.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You still believe that I had a hand up.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  I was way out of line.

• 1:12:40Bobby Lee?

  Way out of line.

• 1:12:41Speaker 03

  Yes. I'm not denying that.

• 1:12:43Bobby Lee?

  You assaulted me.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  I'm not denying that. There's no excuse.

• 1:12:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. For nothing.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's not nothing.

• 1:12:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What is the thing?

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  I wasn't just Travis Bickle walking on this tree beating people up.

• 1:12:52Bobby Lee?

  Close enough, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  Is this over your ex-girlfriend still?

• 1:12:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:57Speaker 04

  You can't let it go.

• 1:12:57Speaker 03

  But I let it go. I'm just saying it was not nothing. It's just a detail. It's like, not nothing.

• 1:13:01Bobby Lee?

  A detail that you wanted me to break into Ron Peterson's fucking office?

• 1:13:04Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:13:05Bobby Lee?

  Steal emails?

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:13:06Bobby Lee?

  Like I'm Ethan Hunt or something?

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  That's like, do you still have the password?

• 1:13:09Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  Do you still have the password?

• 1:13:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

• 1:13:11Speaker 00

  3.1 million views.

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  That got 3.1 million views and this poop got a thousand?

• 1:13:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Dog, come on. Anyway. Okay, let's, yeah. Anyway, so who would you wipe off?

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  Okay, so anyway, so she got in her head that I was gonna wipe her out?

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  No, that wasn't it.

• 1:13:28Speaker 03

  What'd you get?

• 1:13:28Speaker 04

  I thought you wanted me to say stuff and you were gonna like tell people. I thought it was like a big thing like that, yeah. And then I got really into my head about it. And then I also thought you were gonna rape me, but I had to say murder because I know you don't like fat chicks. It was like a full thing. So I kept saying the whole night you were gonna murder me, even though I felt like you were gonna rape me, but I couldn't tell you that.

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  I would convince her that I'm not gonna murder, but then it would like wash over that I was. So she was in a good mood. And she'd be like, she'd be like, oh, good.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  Remember we were going back the wrong, like a different?

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I missed, I missed a turn and she was like.

• 1:13:58Speaker 04

  Why are we going this way? Are you gonna kill me in that hotel?

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  I'm like, no, I'm not.

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  I was like, I'm gonna jump out of the car.

• 1:14:05Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna kill you. She goes, of course you'd say that.

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  And he goes, yeah, that is true, yeah.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  That is, that is.

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  And I go, I'm gonna jump out of the car.

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  I'm like, please do not jump out of the car.

• 1:14:12Bobby Lee?

  Who is it? Who's the dead guy you're gonna kill?

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  I locked my, we were staying in Airbnb. I locked my door that night.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  I locked my door too.

• 1:14:17Speaker 03

  Because I could see her coming in and just stabbing me.

• 1:14:19Bobby Lee?

  That was real.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  Because she's like, gonna be like, it's gonna be you, not me.

• 1:14:21Speaker 04

  I would never do that. I would have just taken the stabbing.

• 1:14:24Bobby Lee?

  I don't think either one of them would have killed you.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  We just locked the doors.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  We just locked the doors.

• 1:14:27Bobby Lee?

  So who's the person you want wiped out?

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  Oh, man, there's so many. Even people I like, but I'm like, they're annoying. Get rid of them. Because they're not dead.

• 1:14:35Bobby Lee?

  That's why I'm afraid to say the one I wanna say.

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:37Bobby Lee?

  Because I don't want them to be wiped out.

• 1:14:39Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:39Bobby Lee?

  But it would be.

• 1:14:39Speaker 04

  You just don't want them in comedy?

• 1:14:41Bobby Lee?

  I just don't want them to exist.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

  Okay, you want them dead.

• 1:14:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it'd be like people who hog conversations in the green room. I'd be like, yeah, get rid of them.

• 1:14:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Or they sit like this, you know what I mean, with their foot up, right?

• 1:14:52Speaker 03

  Beat it. Never existed.

• 1:14:53Bobby Lee?

  And all the comics sit around them. Yeah, but.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  What's up?

• 1:14:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, they're like, oh, yeah. What? Who's like that?

• 1:15:04Bobby Lee?

  You throw it out first.

• 1:15:06Speaker 03

  It's a bad game we're going in.

• 1:15:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a fun game.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  It's a bad game. Because everyone else has a way bigger following than me.

• 1:15:11Bobby Lee?

  We can bleep it out.

• 1:15:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's fun. You could put this like this and bleep it out.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  One time, me and, we were in the Vulcan green room, the precursor to the mothership, and we went in there and Rogan always has these big guests in and they come late night. We're like, why are they in the green room? They're not comics. And we saw one of the Weinstein brothers, one of the smart ones, and he was sitting on the floor on his side like this.

• 1:15:29Speaker 04

  Like a model?

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, with like his feet up, like, like, like, like Tom Stellic and that whatever.

• 1:15:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  But, and then me and Shane and Tony were in there and we're like, oh, talking to like, why is this homosexual?

• 1:15:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  Sitting on his side.

• 1:15:42Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:15:42Speaker 03

  And they were talking about like, like journeys and fucking smart stuff. And then we were just testing each other like pictures of like herpes.

• 1:15:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:49Speaker 03

  They'd be like Shane, Shane, Shane. And he'd be like. As they're talking about like quantum physics. And then he'd be like Shane, be like, Tony, Tony, Tony.

• 1:15:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I got one.

• 1:15:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:59Bobby Lee?

  It's a pet peeve and I might go crazy next time. I hate it when you're a comic.

• 1:16:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:05Bobby Lee?

  You don't have a spot somewhere, but you're in the green room, just hanging out.

• 1:16:11Speaker 04

  What if it's someone you like though?

• 1:16:12Bobby Lee?

  No, no, stop. No, no, no, no.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything.

• 1:16:16Bobby Lee?

  No, I would, no.

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  You didn't say anything, motherfuckers.

• 1:16:18Bobby Lee?

  I'm not, no, I'm not, I'm not done.

• 1:16:19Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:16:20Bobby Lee?

  I'm not done, I'm not done. All right. Here's a comic, a comic that hasn't done spots in that room.

• 1:16:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:28Bobby Lee?

  For 20 years.

• 1:16:29Speaker 03

  And they say what?

• 1:16:30Bobby Lee?

  Right. A comic that just sits there all night long. They never get, they, they're not good enough to get spots. And they're just there. You know what I mean? It drives me crazy.

• 1:16:38Speaker 03

  They just show up.

• 1:16:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:39Speaker 03

  Like, where are you going up?

• 1:16:40Bobby Lee?

  Like, I'm gonna throw, bleep this name out.

• 1:16:44Speaker 04

  I have no idea who that is.

• 1:16:45Bobby Lee?

  Do you know who that is?

• 1:16:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. She, she goes to the Comedy Store. She sits in the green room all night long.

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  The green room.

• 1:16:51Speaker 04

  Mike, can you bring a picture up of her? I just want to see.

• 1:16:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she never has gotten a spot there in 25 years.

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  She, she got a few spots when I was starting.

• 1:16:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:58Speaker 03

  18 years.

• 1:16:58Bobby Lee?

  But she would never get spots. No one wants her there. And she's sitting there writing and just being a part of it in the green room.

• 1:17:04Speaker 03

  Why'd you come here to write?

• 1:17:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  But she wants to be a part of it.

• 1:17:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she wants to be a part of it.

• 1:17:06Speaker 03

  It's really sad. She got into a fight with Dice once.

• 1:17:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:10Speaker 03

  And she goes, you're a has been. He goes, you're a never was.

• 1:17:12Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 1:17:13Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, that's a good one, dude.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  That is a good one.

• 1:17:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even find a photo online, right?

• 1:17:19Speaker 00

  We don't know how to spell her last name.

• 1:17:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's never made it. She doesn't have a following and she'll just be in.

• 1:17:26Speaker 03

  There was a lot of those people.

• 1:17:27Bobby Lee?

  She'll just be in the green room, in the main room. Just writing.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  I was embarrassed, I was embarrassed to go to the Comedy Store if I didn't have a spot that night. Either there, or at least I had done a spot somewhere else.

• 1:17:37Bobby Lee?

  Exactly dude. I know, but we're, and now we're being cocky because we do get spots now.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  But even Bonaparte is a regular. I at least had to do an open mic and then get there.

• 1:17:46Bobby Lee?

  I feel bad about it, but you know.

• 1:17:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:48Bobby Lee?

  Another one is, there she is again.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  Oh wow, she doesn't.

• 1:17:51Bobby Lee?

  She's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:52Speaker 03

  She looks like Madonna now.

• 1:17:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, Madonna could actually stop doing stand up, I'd agree with that.

• 1:17:56Speaker 03

  Madonna could stop doing stand up. If Madonna was talking about stand up.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  She's at the Comedy Store, I'm like, why?

• 1:18:00Speaker 03

  You don't belong here.

• 1:18:01Speaker 04

  She was, she was at the Comedy Store like two months ago.

• 1:18:05Bobby Lee?

  This is another one.

• 1:18:06Speaker 04

  I don't know who that is.

• 1:18:07Bobby Lee?

  Look up. You'll go like, "Honey, I'm here." I go, "What's up?" "Can you try to help me get on?" And I go, "Steve, I want to say, I can't, why can't I be real and go?"

• 1:18:17Speaker 03

  Just no chance.

• 1:18:18Bobby Lee?

  "Just don't come here again."

• 1:18:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's embarrassing, man.

• 1:18:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, will you guys know when it's done?

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  That's the problem, you never know.

• 1:18:26Bobby Lee?

  No, you do know. I think I would know.

• 1:18:28Speaker 03

  You would know?

• 1:18:29Bobby Lee?

  Would you know?

• 1:18:29Speaker 04

  When I was on the road with Louis, he was like, "Tell, you have to tell me when I should quit."

• 1:18:33Speaker 03

  If, if it's like, if people are like.

• 1:18:34Speaker 04

  I was like, "Don't you want like Chris Rock to tell you?" He goes, "No." He goes, "I want you to tell me."

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  The lower people will tell you.

• 1:18:39Bobby Lee?

  Louis, there's no, never a time for him.

• 1:18:42Speaker 04

  I know, but you gotta tell.

• 1:18:43Bobby Lee?

  He's past the, I think he's past the line, we can do it forever.

• 1:18:46Speaker 03

  But what if he stops making sense and he's just?

• 1:18:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  Like senile, I think he meant.

• 1:18:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, senile, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not what I mean. What I mean is like, it's not gonna happen anymore.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  Oh, that's different.

• 1:18:56Bobby Lee?

  That's different, well you're not, you're still telling jokes, you're still there.

• 1:19:00Speaker 04

  I thought you meant like you're, you've lost.

• 1:19:01Speaker 03

  Somebody asked me, I was doing a, like a screening of my new special, "America's Sweetheart" on Netflix.

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  Which is very good, I've seen him work it out.

• 1:19:08Speaker 03

  So I was doing Q and As afterwards, and some guy's like, "Hey, uh, what is it, is there a num, an age where it's too late to start stand up?" And I was like, "Oh, how old are you? You just started?" He goes, "Yeah." And he goes.

• 1:19:17Bobby Lee?

  How old is he?

• 1:19:18Speaker 03

  Thirty-eight.

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  He goes, "You're too old."

• 1:19:19Speaker 03

  And I go, "Ah buddy, it's no chance."

• 1:19:22Bobby Lee?

  That's not true.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  I'm like, "You can do it as a hobby."

• 1:19:24Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not, that's not.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Ari hates it.

• 1:19:26Bobby Lee?

  That's not true at all.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  I want to someone past the eighties and tell me who you think.

• 1:19:29Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:19:30Speaker 03

  Go ahead, if you're gonna use an example.

• 1:19:31Bobby Lee?

  Of somebody that?

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  Eighties and beyond, not before the eighties, go ahead.

• 1:19:34Bobby Lee?

  That somebody started later?

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:36Bobby Lee?

  Dean Del Rey.

• 1:19:39Speaker 04

  I already know what he's thinking.

• 1:19:42Bobby Lee?

  Dean Del Rey.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Bobby Lee?

  No, let's have a response.

• 1:19:48Speaker 03

  He makes a living.

• 1:19:49Bobby Lee?

  He makes a living?

• 1:19:50Speaker 03

  He does make a living.

• 1:19:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:51Speaker 03

  Which is the goal.

• 1:19:51Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 1:19:52Speaker 03

  Okay. Yeah, it happened once.

• 1:19:55Bobby Lee?

  I win.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:19:57Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  Yep, you're right.

• 1:19:58Bobby Lee?

  Let me see if I can think of another one. Um, someone that started later in life.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  Because, yeah, but you can't say Roddy DeJefal, that's what everybody says.

• 1:20:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not gonna use him.

• 1:20:06Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:20:07Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is, here's what I'm saying, is that you still don't know.

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  It's a, right, it's possible.

• 1:20:12Bobby Lee?

  It's possible.

• 1:20:13Speaker 03

  It's like a hot chick in L.A. that's also cool.

• 1:20:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's a possibility. It's a possibility.

• 1:20:18Speaker 03

  Sure, it's possible.

• 1:20:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's possible, right? Anything's possible, right? And I, and I encourage people to do it all the time.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:20:25Bobby Lee?

  Comedy.

• 1:20:25Speaker 03

  Oh, you're ruining stuff for everybody.

• 1:20:26Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 1:20:26Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not.

• 1:20:27Speaker 03

  You're bringing these people in. Tell them all to quit.

• 1:20:30Bobby Lee?

  No, I'll tell you why I know. This is, this is, this is-

• 1:20:33Speaker 03

  Argus told me to quit.

• 1:20:34Bobby Lee?

  This is dark stuff right here.

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  I love it, I love it.

• 1:20:36Bobby Lee?

  What, you know how hard it is, right?

• 1:20:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Bobby Lee?

  That like, the probability is so slim, right? So who gives a shit?

• 1:20:44Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  Oh, so we're actually being nice. I'm being like, you shouldn't do this.

• 1:20:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm being the weird one.

• 1:20:50Speaker 04

  You're being a piece of shit.

• 1:20:50Bobby Lee?

  I go, "Struggle."

• 1:20:53Bobby Lee?

  Enjoy the pain of years.

• 1:20:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:55Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  That is dark.

• 1:20:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're like, start a life.

• 1:20:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, not me.

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, get married, have a kid.

• 1:21:00Bobby Lee?

  No, live a gray life.

• 1:21:02Speaker 03

  You deal with it.

• 1:21:03Bobby Lee?

  You have a gray life.

• 1:21:04Speaker 03

  Wow, you're Sauron.

• 1:21:05Speaker 00

  What do you think, Jaime?

• 1:21:07Bobby Lee?

  Keep doing it, Jaime.

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 1:21:13Bobby Lee?

  Keep going, Jaime. You're gonna make it, Jaime.

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you, man.

• 1:21:18Speaker 04

  You probably will, you're young, right? How old are you?

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Twenty-eight.

• 1:21:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, still young.

• 1:21:22Speaker 03

  Still pretty young, yeah.

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  I'm only a year in, so.

• 1:21:24Bobby Lee?

  I saw Jaime go up, we, Bad Friends did a show in the main room, and I honestly thought you were gonna bomb. And everyone was like, "Oh no, he's good." "You did well."

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:21:34Bobby Lee?

  So I was impressed.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Where'd you grow up in Dallas?

• 1:21:37Speaker 02

  Uh, Mesquite.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  Mesquite?

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  The city? Is that the name of a place?

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:42Bobby Lee?

  Dude, imagine him-

• 1:21:43Speaker 03

  Mesquite Comedy?

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  Were you asking what?

• 1:21:45Speaker 03

  Where do you go up on stage?

• 1:21:46Speaker 02

  Oh, uh, the Dallas Comedy Club. Or Hyenas.

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  Hyenas, yeah, that's a good one.

• 1:21:50Bobby Lee?

  Like, him and Ralph grew up on the same street. Best friends as kids. They had factory jobs together. And then when Ralph got into comedy, he decided to do it right after him.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  Would you have followed him into anything?

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:03Bobby Lee?

  That's what's cool about comedy.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  He got a-

• 1:22:04Speaker 04

  Like, if he worked at a tire shop.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  That's where they worked. We worked at a- Tire shop, yeah. Yeah. No, not tire shop, just like a engine.

• 1:22:11Bobby Lee?

  So if he was breakdancing, you would be a brain cancer?

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:14Bobby Lee?

  That's so funny.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  Those are boys.

• 1:22:15Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 1:22:16Bobby Lee?

  I love that.

• 1:22:16Speaker 04

  That's very cute.

• 1:22:17Bobby Lee?

  You love Ralph more than-

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  You?

• 1:22:19Bobby Lee?

  No. That's obvious. That's obvious. You know what I mean? I've only been nice to you, and you treat me like shit, it's fine.

• 1:22:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, why are you so mean to Bobby?

• 1:22:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  I'm mean to Bobby.

• 1:22:32Speaker 02

  Bobby, I'll call you back.

• 1:22:34Speaker 04

  Call him right now.

• 1:22:37Bobby Lee?

  No, it's okay, it's okay.

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  Just get it over with.

• 1:22:39Bobby Lee?

  I was being vulnerable to that, you know, when I, when Ken died, it, um-

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  Ken Jung?

• 1:22:45Bobby Lee?

  No, Ken Flores.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  Oh, thank God.

• 1:22:54Bobby Lee?

  God, you're so good.

• 1:22:55Speaker 03

  Don't do that, buddy.

• 1:22:55Bobby Lee?

  So, um, when Ken Flores died, when Ken died, um, I was in a fog, a haze. I needed someone to like, talk to, you know? And I called, you were the first person I called. And you didn't pick up, so then Ralph picked up. And I needed somebody to like, connect with and stuff, because it was like, it was shocking. Because two weeks before that, I had done a show with him in the main room, and we talked.

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  I heard he was really funny, I never met him.

• 1:23:20Bobby Lee?

  He's a beast.

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  It's pretty sad.

• 1:23:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:23Speaker 04

  It's also sad that like, everyone talks about how funny he is, but they don't, you know, you don't do it until someone's like, gone.

• 1:23:28Bobby Lee?

  That's what, you know what?

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  No one told me about him until afterwards. People like, "Did you hear about him?", I'm like, "I don't, I don't know who that is."

• 1:23:33Speaker 04

  I never heard about him until he passed away, and then I looked some of his stuff up, he's really funny.

• 1:23:36Bobby Lee?

  Well, I had two shows at the store, and so they had to do a filler in the main room. And so they, he, they used him as a filler for me. Right? And then when I went into the main room, I did something cowardly, I saw him on stage. And I go, "You gotta put somebody else between us."

• 1:23:50Speaker 03

  That's a Bobby Lee special.

• 1:23:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a Bobby Lee special. And I go, "Why?", I go, "I'm not doing that tonight."

• 1:23:55Speaker 03

  Bobby is one of the funniest people of all time.

• 1:23:58Speaker 04

  It's crazy, cause why are you?

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  And the weakest mentality.

• 1:24:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, why?

• 1:24:00Bobby Lee?

  Shut up!

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  You're like, I can't follow that.

• 1:24:02Bobby Lee?

  I know I'm a weak mentality, I'm strong. I'm the tree by the river, dude. I will not be moved.

• 1:24:08Speaker 04

  But are you one of those trees that?

• 1:24:09Bobby Lee?

  I will be not be moved.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  But if you're one of those trees that burns in the LA fire.

• 1:24:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's true. Wow, yeah, I gotta move then.

• 1:24:17Speaker 04

  You gotta move.

• 1:24:17Bobby Lee?

  I gotta move then. I'll be one of those Lord of the Rings trees.

• 1:24:20Speaker 04

  Bobby, you need more self, you need more self-esteem.

• 1:24:23Bobby Lee?

  No, here, here's another thing I realized last night in the book, right? Is that, um, I don't know if I got this quote right, but right?

• 1:24:31Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 1:24:32Bobby Lee?

  I belong nowhere and I belong everywhere.

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 1:24:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay? And what I realized is that I do belong in all the places that I feel like I don't belong. You know what I mean?

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Bobby Lee?

  And I'm, and I'm gonna, so cheesy, because these are little revelations I had last night, right? And I'm going to, why would you wipe your face like that?

• 1:24:52Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 1:24:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:24:52Speaker 04

  I think he's being emotional.

• 1:24:53Bobby Lee?

  I think you're being like?

• 1:24:54Speaker 03

  No, no, it's just like itching.

• 1:24:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you're itching your face? Um, I, I believe that, um, I do, I do belong, um, everywhere that I think I don't belong. Because like Saturday, last night, no, no, the night before Saturday, um, Andrew did two shows in San Diego. And one of the shows I went into the guest spot, what is it, quote, I fucked it up.

• 1:25:17Speaker 03

  You're only free when you realize you belong no place. You belong every place, no place at all. The price is high, the reward is great.

• 1:25:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Speaker 03

  I gotta be honest, I don't know what the fuck that means.

• 1:25:29Bobby Lee?

  Either do I, really? Either do I, really?

• 1:25:31Speaker 03

  It sounds like one of those smart sounding things.

• 1:25:33Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I-

• 1:25:34Speaker 03

  This is one step above Live, Laugh, Love.

• 1:25:36Bobby Lee?

  I know, but, but, um-

• 1:25:38Speaker 04

  Live, Laugh, Love is pretty good.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:41Bobby Lee?

  But I lock into you belong every place.

• 1:25:44Speaker 04

  Right, like if you went to the cellar and sat down at the table, everyone would have impressed you.

• 1:25:47Speaker 03

  Everyone love you.

• 1:25:48Bobby Lee?

  And you know, at the end of the day, it's like, you know, when I bow to Michael Che and stuff like that, like he's giggling, right? And he's speaking so cool to me.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  Cause I think he thinks you're being-

• 1:25:58Bobby Lee?

  I'm doing, I'm doing a bit. You know, at the end of the day, I'm doing a bit, you know what I mean? Like, excuse me, sir, you know what I mean?

• 1:26:03Speaker 04

  But that's the thing, you're one of the people in comedy that- Everyone loves except Ari, but like.

• 1:26:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he loves.

• 1:26:14Bobby Lee?

  But it's like, you're right. I do belong everywhere and I, um.

• 1:26:17Speaker 03

  Oh, this is good. The meaning of freedom. I like this.

• 1:26:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, just read it to me.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  I'm a big freedom guy. By saying you belong nowhere and everywhere, the quote implies you're not limited by the need to fit into a specific place or group. That allows for a greater personal freedom.

• 1:26:33Bobby Lee?

  Yes. I think you're like that. I really do. I think you got, New York comics are more like that than LA comics, maybe.

• 1:26:42Speaker 04

  Maybe because we don't really have the industry there. I never came up thinking like I'm gonna be in Hollywood. I just wanted to do comedy. But maybe if I grew up here, I would have had that in my head.

• 1:26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're like, I don't mind being.

• 1:26:56Bobby Lee?

  I could put you in a TV show right now. I already know who you'd play.

• 1:27:00Speaker 04

  A dumb con.

• 1:27:01Bobby Lee?

  No. I mean, she'd be like the, she'd be like.

• 1:27:03Speaker 03

  She'd play your mom.

• 1:27:05Bobby Lee?

  The mean principal. The mean principal. Don't you get, she's in like a.

• 1:27:09Speaker 03

  Smoking instead of like.

• 1:27:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like a Malcolm in the Middle kind of a show where she's the mean and they're afraid of her.

• 1:27:15Speaker 04

  The cashier that doesn't make eye contact with you?

• 1:27:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's so many things. You know what I mean?

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I guess I never came up thinking that. I just wanted to do stand up.

• 1:27:24Bobby Lee?

  But you know what's so funny about you is that I think it's gonna happen.

• 1:27:27Speaker 03

  She was about to do a show with Louis before everything.

• 1:27:29Bobby Lee?

  I think it's gonna happen. I do.

• 1:27:32Speaker 04

  That would be nice.

• 1:27:33Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you don't get into a Netflix special and then all of a sudden then get nothing.

• 1:27:38Speaker 03

  People of Hollywood.

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  You kinda do.

• 1:27:42Bobby Lee?

  Really? Is that true? I don't know.

• 1:27:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, you kinda get nothing after.

• 1:27:44Speaker 03

  Nominal case. People of Hollywood should put Adrian in something. If you're like making something, you.

• 1:27:49Bobby Lee?

  I already have. I promise you right now, I'm telling you something. I, when I was on Mad or TV, I got so many people on that show. Randall Park, Ken Jeong, before they even got things, you know what I mean? Um, I will put you in something.

• 1:28:04Speaker 04

  All right, Bobby.

• 1:28:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I will.

• 1:28:06Speaker 04

  And I will leave Ari for you.

• 1:28:08Bobby Lee?

  Now, if there's a comedy war.

• 1:28:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:11Bobby Lee?

  Between New York and LA.

• 1:28:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:12Bobby Lee?

  Who would win?

• 1:28:14Speaker 04

  I mean, New York.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  New York. Are we talking about physical?

• 1:28:17Bobby Lee?

  No, comedy wise.

• 1:28:18Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:28:18Speaker 04

  New York.

• 1:28:19Speaker 03

  Also, New York.

• 1:28:20Bobby Lee?

  We got good guys out here.

• 1:28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:28:21Speaker 04

  You do have good guys out here. There's also way more comics in New York, too.

• 1:28:24Bobby Lee?

  But no, what I'm saying, you can't, it's not gonna be 300 versus 80, I'm saying.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  So we're putting like 50 against 50.

• 1:28:31Bobby Lee?

  Top 20 versus our top 20.

• 1:28:32Speaker 03

  Top 100 versus top 100.

• 1:28:33Bobby Lee?

  No, top 20.

• 1:28:34Speaker 03

  Why top 20? You're saying top, like, top 2, it's like, shut up.

• 1:28:37Bobby Lee?

  Well, then why, why, why, why make it arbitrary, make it 3,000 then?

• 1:28:40Speaker 03

  New York, then we'll also win. New York comedy has more great.

• 1:28:43Bobby Lee?

  Top 20 versus top 25. Top 25 versus.

• 1:28:46Speaker 04

  I think the problem with doing that is you're just getting all the famous.

• 1:28:49Speaker 03

  There's not enough data points that way.

• 1:28:50Bobby Lee?

  I think you're scared right now.

• 1:28:52Speaker 03

  Jim Gaffigan, David Tell.

• 1:28:54Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 1:28:55Speaker 04

  Colin Quinn.

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  The rest of you guys here can suck a dick. David Tell.

• 1:28:57Bobby Lee?

  He's the best.

• 1:28:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:58Speaker 04

  Colin Quinn.

• 1:29:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  Mark Normand.

• 1:29:01Speaker 04

  Louis.

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  Normand.

• 1:29:03Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 1:29:03Speaker 04

  Soder.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  Sam Morril.

• 1:29:05Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 1:29:05Speaker 03

  Stav.

• 1:29:06Bobby Lee?

  All right, you win then.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Who do you guys have, the people we just talked about?

• 1:29:09Bobby Lee?

  Bill Burr.

• 1:29:11Bobby Lee?

  Burr's not good?

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:29:12Speaker 04

  Burr's great.

• 1:29:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:16Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 1:29:16Speaker 03

  I mean, he's in New York.

• 1:29:17Speaker 04

  Chappelle, I guess. You guys got Chappelle?

• 1:29:18Speaker 03

  Who got Chappelle?

• 1:29:19Bobby Lee?

  No, he lives in Springfield.

• 1:29:21Speaker 04

  Eh.

• 1:29:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:23Speaker 03

  He's Ohio, he's a New York guy more than.

• 1:29:24Bobby Lee?

  He's a New York, he's more New York. I would say he's more New York.

• 1:29:26Speaker 03

  He's neither, probably.

• 1:29:27Bobby Lee?

  Uh, we have Arsenio Hall.

• 1:29:29Speaker 03

  Nice. Uh, we guess we just lost Shane. We would've had Shane.

• 1:29:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you lost Shane.

• 1:29:33Speaker 03

  But he's nowhere now.

• 1:29:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I love Arsenio Hall. You know him?

• 1:29:38Speaker 04

  I don't know him personally.

• 1:29:39Bobby Lee?

  Huh? Do you know him? Who, who, who? Stop doing that, dude. Anyway, so they got two specials. I, I don't like this, sir, what you're doing. They have two specials.

• 1:29:49Speaker 04

  Is that racist?

• 1:29:51Speaker 03

  I heard Arsenio Hall, you wanna hear a story?

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:53Speaker 03

  I don't know if it's true or not, this is what I heard.

• 1:29:54Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I don't, I know what, I know, I know, I know what, I know that what the story's gonna be.

• 1:29:57Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:29:58Bobby Lee?

  And, and.

• 1:29:59Speaker 03

  It's a long time ago.

• 1:29:59Bobby Lee?

  We can't air it.

• 1:30:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:30:00Bobby Lee?

  Because it's something Mitzi said.

• 1:30:02Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 1:30:03Bobby Lee?

  It's not something Mitzi said, because she said something crazy about him.

• 1:30:05Speaker 03

  Nope. Nope, but I want you, I want to hear that.

• 1:30:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm not gonna tell you that.

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  I want to hear that one.

• 1:30:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm not gonna tell you that one.

• 1:30:10Speaker 03

  Okay, I heard, I heard, you can bleep this later if you want.

• 1:30:13Bobby Lee?

  But I don't think it's real.

• 1:30:14Speaker 03

  I heard he had a heckler, he was in his day when he was coming up, before he had the show. But he was still like, he had some heat. And some heckler, he goes, "You better shut the fuck up." And the guy wouldn't shut up. And he goes, "Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna do something about it." And you know, the store, the door guys are like me and you. We're like, powerless.

• 1:30:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:27Speaker 03

  And eventually, he got so mad, he fucking cracked a bottle and ran at the guy.

• 1:30:31Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 1:30:32Speaker 03

  Harris Pete had to hold him back from fucking stabbing the dude.

• 1:30:34Bobby Lee?

  That's not a bad story.

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  It's not a bad story.

• 1:30:35Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 1:30:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not gonna tell my story then.

• 1:30:38Speaker 04

  Wait, I want to hear your story.

• 1:30:39Bobby Lee?

  Mine was bad.

• 1:30:40Speaker 04

  I want to hear it. Ooh, I want to hear it.

• 1:30:42Speaker 03

  Did he fuck Mitzi?

• 1:30:43Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:30:47Bobby Lee?

  He's so good, that's crazy. He is that strong.

• 1:30:52Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 1:30:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He's so strong. Anyway, let's plug your specials.

• 1:30:57Speaker 03

  Also, we're going on the road together a bunch.

• 1:30:59Speaker 04

  We're going on the road, Nashville.

• 1:31:00Speaker 03

  We're going to, we're going to Nashville, this won't be up by then, but Atlanta and Portland, we're going together. Schaumburg, Illinois, we're going together.

• 1:31:06Bobby Lee?

  Where in Portland are you playing?

• 1:31:08Speaker 03

  Portland is at a theater somewhere.

• 1:31:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:31:11Speaker 04

  Didn't you sell one of your, you've got like a second show, right?

• 1:31:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, we added a second show there.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  Well, you got a second show.

• 1:31:16Bobby Lee?

  San Jose, what? Improv or?

• 1:31:18Speaker 03

  Improv.

• 1:31:19Bobby Lee?

  I love that room.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  That's great, that's a great one. Florida, Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary.

• 1:31:23Bobby Lee?

  Look at all those days.

• 1:31:24Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:31:24Speaker 03

  Edmonton.

• 1:31:25Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:31:25Speaker 03

  And I'm done for a year and a half.

• 1:31:27Bobby Lee?

  And then you're gonna be gone?

• 1:31:28Speaker 03

  For over a year.

• 1:31:29Speaker 04

  He's working a lot right now.

• 1:31:30Bobby Lee?

  He's gonna go to New York, I mean, London.

• 1:31:32Speaker 03

  But first, I'm gonna go travel.

• 1:31:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, backpacking and then London?

• 1:31:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:31:36Speaker 03

  Adrian's got a bunch, side splitters.

• 1:31:38Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 1:31:40Speaker 03

  Also, Chicago.

• 1:31:42Speaker 04

  That's with you.

• 1:31:43Speaker 03

  Portland, that's with me.

• 1:31:43Speaker 04

  House of Comedy, Rally Improv, Levity Live, Duke Box, Pittsburgh Improv.

• 1:31:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, Edmonton, oh, that's me too. But she's got a new special out.

• 1:31:52Bobby Lee?

  That's great.

• 1:31:53Speaker 03

  Called The Dark Wing.

• 1:31:54Speaker 04

  Produced by you.

• 1:31:54Speaker 03

  Produced by me.

• 1:31:55Speaker 04

  This guy is-

• 1:31:56Bobby Lee?

  Directed by Louis C.K.

• 1:31:57Speaker 04

  This guy is believed to me the most out of anyone in comedy.

• 1:31:59Bobby Lee?

  I love it, don't you love him?

• 1:32:01Speaker 03

  If you can't take me and Louis C.K. putting our stamp of approval on it, enough to fucking press play on Netflix and watch it to the end, then I don't know what'll get you.

• 1:32:09Bobby Lee?

  No, I've heard only great things about you.

• 1:32:11Speaker 04

  Well, thank you. Bobby, be my agent.

• 1:32:14Bobby Lee?

  You gotta do a versus deal, this is insane.

• 1:32:16Speaker 03

  Do you have an agent yet?

• 1:32:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:32:17Speaker 03

  That's-

• 1:32:18Bobby Lee?

  You gotta get a versus deal.

• 1:32:19Speaker 04

  Well, I'm not getting a reverse.

• 1:32:20Bobby Lee?

  No, this is what you do. It's it's it's simple. It's it's it's you get guaranteed a certain amount of money.

• 1:32:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I'm not I'm not getting enough people in the seats, I don't think.

• 1:32:29Speaker 03

  She's defeated. That's what she's doing. She's looking for a reason why she can't.

• 1:32:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you're doing. You're doing a Bobby Lee. Yeah, you're doing a Bobby Lee. Yeah.

• 1:32:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:37Speaker 04

  I also need to work on myself.

• 1:32:38Speaker 03

  Here's why I won't work. Here's why I won't work. Here's why I won't. It's like, maybe when Louis came to see her, he goes, let me see the set so I know how to direct it. She goes, if I do bad, he's not gonna want to do it anymore.

• 1:32:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:47Speaker 03

  And it's like, why do you go to that immediately?

• 1:32:49Speaker 04

  Because that's how I grew up.

• 1:32:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's how I am.

• 1:32:50Speaker 04

  My family is so negative and awful. That's how I grew up.

• 1:32:54Speaker 03

  You ever see a positive person? You're like, what the fuck are you doing? They'd be like, Louis is gonna see me, and he's gonna want to direct two specials. And you're like, who?

• 1:33:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Who's that guy?

• 1:33:01Speaker 04

  Crazy, yeah.

• 1:33:02Bobby Lee?

  I hate that guy.

• 1:33:03Speaker 03

  Hate that guy.

• 1:33:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that guy. Yeah. Just to close it off.

• 1:33:06Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:33:07Bobby Lee?

  Like a tree planted by the river, I shall not be moved. Give them a round of applause.

• 1:33:12Speaker 04

  Go watch Ari's special.

• 1:33:14Bobby Lee?

  Watch yours.

• 1:33:14Speaker 04

  No, watch Ari's too. I seen him work it out.

• 1:33:17Speaker 06

  Best specials of 2024 and 2025.

• 1:33:19Speaker 04

  I I watch his but I watch him work it out, and it's so fucking funny, man.

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  Bobby, you'll be the best of 2026.

• 1:33:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, baby.