Kylie Minogue Rides Ant Like A Horse & Dec Loses It (AGAIN!)

Get your eyes and your ears in the Hang Out - new episode has landed! This week the boys dish the goss on the Britain’s Got Talent Final including a frankly unbelievable gift from Simon Cowell. Ant shares a surprising story of working with Kylie Minogue and shocks the room with what he once dropped down the toilet. It’s also International Best Friends Day next week, so the boys play a penalty shoot out of who knows who best - can Dec remember Ant’s favourite ice cream flavour or could this be the end of their friendship?? We’ve also got your BRILLI(ant) letters in the postbag and it’s chart day in Dec’s Diary, but WHAT has got him howling again? If you'd like to get in touch with the show, you can contact us on [email protected] and sign off your email using the name you'd like us to use; if you don't want your surname mentioned, please don't add it, and it you'd like a full name shout out, throw it all in there! —— 00:00 - Coming up02:30 - BGT Final 05:20 - A gift from Simon Cowell 09:50 - Ant’s Bogey brunch 15:18 - Down the Toilet 19:30 - Banana TV Ratings 21:30 - “Kylie Rode me like a Horse”25:20 - Dec’s Diary 34:35 - Best Friend’s Quiz 45:00 - Postbag ----- Your personal data will be handled in accordance with applicable data protection laws and will only be retained for as long as is reasonably necessary for production, editorial, legal and compliance purposes. You can read more about our privacy policy at: ⁠https://www.mitrestudios.com/privacy-policy/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 1:30Declan Donnelly?

  Coming up on the show, Ant lifts the lid on his history with Kylie Minogue. Were you a knight or something and then you became a horse and she got on the back of you and started...

• 1:38Ant McPartlin?

  And rode me like a horse! As well as an exclusive peek into my morning routine. I say I love waiting in the garden. When the dogs go out for their wee, I like to have my wee at the same time.

• 1:47Declan Donnelly?

  Our friendship is put to the test.

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  If you don't know this, you don't know me at all! And we have a problem. And what has made Dec lose the plot? Again!

• 2:02Ant McPartlin?

  Enjoy the show!

• 2:08Speaker 04

  Here we go, it's the Ant and Dex Hangout. Get ready for the funk!

• 2:14Ant McPartlin?

  What is it?

• 2:15Speaker 04

  Dex, Tyree, Silly Goose. Respect, guys, nice and sexy.

• 2:20Ant McPartlin?

  That's not the theme tune! Turn it off!

• 2:22Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 2:23Ant McPartlin?

  Turn it off now!

• 2:24Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 2:32Ant McPartlin?

  Did you look for that?

• 2:33Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's good though, it sounds like we're on regional radio. I like it.

• 2:41Ant McPartlin?

  Who are you then? Are you a crew or posse? Who are you?

• 2:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, posse.

• 2:45Ant McPartlin?

  Posse!

• 2:45Declan Donnelly?

  How rude of us! Hello, everybody, good morning, good evening and welcome back to The Hangout, we're other hanging out with him and me. We are back, back, back in your eyes and your ears.

• 2:55Declan Donnelly?

  I know you don't like that.

• 2:56Ant McPartlin?

  I don't like that at all.

• 2:57Declan Donnelly?

  I like that theme tune.

• 2:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, we should also come up with a name for our listeners, like Pod Posse.

• 3:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh god, guys, stop it! Stop it! Have you heard yourselves? Listen to what you've become? Everything you didn't want to be growing up, when you were cool.

• 3:14Declan Donnelly?

  Are they the hangers?

• 3:16Ant McPartlin?

  No, they're not anything!

• 3:17Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 3:18Ant McPartlin?

  No, they're not, they're just the listeners or the viewers.

• 3:20Declan Donnelly?

  If they're hanging out, they can be the hangers-on.

• 3:22Ant McPartlin?

  Slightly detrimental.

• 3:23Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 3:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, this is slightly insulting, which I like.

• 3:28Declan Donnelly?

  I thought you'd like it.

• 3:28Ant McPartlin?

  So let's go for it.

• 3:29Declan Donnelly?

  I thought that would appeal to you. Hello, everybody!

• 3:32Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, everybody!

• 3:33Declan Donnelly?

  It is great to be back, we're very excited. If a tad tired, are you tired?

• 3:37Ant McPartlin?

  I'm all right, actually.

• 3:38Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 3:40Ant McPartlin?

  Do I look tired?

• 3:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you do look tired. No, I'm tired.

• 3:44Ant McPartlin?

  You're tired, Steve.

• 3:44Declan Donnelly?

  I'm tired, man.

• 3:45Ant McPartlin?

  Been busy, man.

• 3:46Declan Donnelly?

  Been busy, well, we're just out of half-term, aren't we?

• 3:49Ant McPartlin?

  We are.

• 3:50Declan Donnelly?

  And that was busy.

• 3:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 3:51Declan Donnelly?

  Kids were off school.

• 3:53Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't do your piles.

• 3:54Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't do my piles, my piles still haven't been done. I've been too busy to do my piles.

• 3:57Ant McPartlin?

  And we had the Britain's Got Talent final.

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  And we had that.

• 3:59Ant McPartlin?

  Which was very busy, very good show, though.

• 4:01Declan Donnelly?

  It was great, wasn't it?

• 4:02Ant McPartlin?

  Very good show, yeah, really good show. I thought it was a really good final, full variety.

• 4:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Ant McPartlin?

  We had a bit of everything on there. Um, good winners. It's good!

• 4:12Declan Donnelly?

  Um, I-

• 4:13Ant McPartlin?

  Nice seats, we were. Great.

• 4:16Declan Donnelly?

  We told you, great.

• 4:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we said great, didn't we?

• 4:18Declan Donnelly?

  We let the hangers-on decide and they chose great. Well, they didn't really. I chose.

• 4:22Ant McPartlin?

  You stayed later than me, so here.

• 4:25Declan Donnelly?

  That's possibly why I'm tired.

• 4:26Ant McPartlin?

  I finished the final, I went back to the dressing room. We share a dressing room on Britain's Got Talent. Went back to the dressing room, said well done to everybody, packed up my things, I left. So I was home by ten thirty. You on the other hand.

• 4:40Declan Donnelly?

  Me on the other hand, I got kicked out of the bar.

• 4:43Ant McPartlin?

  Whoa.

• 4:44Declan Donnelly?

  I was last one in the bar.

• 4:46Ant McPartlin?

  You're the last one?

• 4:47Declan Donnelly?

  Well, not the last one. I was in the last group. You know, when they come around and go, okay, let's go, see your drinks off, please.

• 4:53Ant McPartlin?

  You're one of them.

• 4:53Declan Donnelly?

  Time to go. I was one of those and I wasn't proud of the fact.

• 4:56Ant McPartlin?

  How did you feel Sunday one?

• 4:57Declan Donnelly?

  Not great.

• 4:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Declan Donnelly?

  That's possibly why I'm tired.

• 4:59Ant McPartlin?

  I felt great.

• 5:01Declan Donnelly?

  And that's not me, guys. You know me. It's news headlines and lights out. So three AM for me, I was getting a bit.

• 5:08Ant McPartlin?

  What did you do Sunday?

• 5:09Declan Donnelly?

  Sunday was a hellish day. I know that.

• 5:14Ant McPartlin?

  Hungover hellish day.

• 5:15Declan Donnelly?

  It was a hungover hellish day. What did I do Sunday?

• 5:18Ant McPartlin?

  I could just talk about my Sunday.

• 5:20Declan Donnelly?

  What did you do Sunday?

• 5:21Ant McPartlin?

  In the meantime.

• 5:21Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I know what I did Sunday.

• 5:23Ant McPartlin?

  Well, yeah, come on.

• 5:24Declan Donnelly?

  It was a good day Sunday. Morning was a bit dicey.

• 5:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Declan Donnelly?

  Then in the afternoon, I went to the circus.

• 5:29Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 5:30Declan Donnelly?

  I did.

• 5:31Ant McPartlin?

  Did you? I wasn't expecting that either. That was not what I was expecting.

• 5:36Declan Donnelly?

  I went to the circus, took the kids to the circus. Amazing. Absolutely brilliant. It was a little bit like, oh, I'm back on Britain's Got Talent, but.

• 5:46Ant McPartlin?

  Because you have people juggling fire with their feet.

• 5:47Declan Donnelly?

  Pretty much. Gifford Circus, they do this travelling circus and they are brilliant. We go every year. And I took the kids to the matinee. They had lollipops the size of their heads and popcorn and they loved it. And there was trapeze and there was a goose called Brian.

• 6:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 6:04Declan Donnelly?

  A silly goose. I got a picture.

• 6:06Ant McPartlin?

  We've got his name.

• 6:07Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I send you the picture of a silly goose?

• 6:08Ant McPartlin?

  Silly goose's name, yeah. Send the picture over.

• 6:10Declan Donnelly?

  That was my Sunday. Oh, I know that.

• 6:12Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, not that picture.

• 6:13Declan Donnelly?

  Not that one, love.

• 6:14Ant McPartlin?

  Minimize, minimize.

• 6:17Declan Donnelly?

  That was my Sunday afternoon.

• 6:18Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it was an actual goose.

• 6:20Speaker 05

  If you did a circus act, what would you, what circus act would you guys do?

• 6:25Declan Donnelly?

  We'd do silks.

• 6:28Ant McPartlin?

  No, we're B Tropez artists.

• 6:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Declan Donnelly?

  Me and him.

• 6:31Speaker 05

  A double one, I know.

• 6:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, a double, yeah, double Tropez artists, obviously.

• 6:36Declan Donnelly?

  You know, on this.

• 6:36Ant McPartlin?

  Who said clowns? Who said clowns? Who said clowns?

• 6:40Declan Donnelly?

  What did you do Sunday, feeling fresh as a daisy?

• 6:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I mean, while I wakes up very early, so I wasn't that fresh, but got up, had a nice coffee. Someone's out, didn't feel hungover.

• 6:51Declan Donnelly?

  Good for you.

• 6:51Ant McPartlin?

  Obviously. And I thought, I know, I'm gonna open these lovely presents we got off the people at Britain's Got Talent.

• 6:59Declan Donnelly?

  So at the end of every series, we all buy each other gifts. So we buy the judges' gifts and they buy us gifts and we do them lovely things and we write nice cards saying, great to work with you again this year. See you next year for more BGT. You know, that kind of thing.

• 7:13Ant McPartlin?

  Opened a lovely Selfridges hamper from Alicia. Very nice.

• 7:17Declan Donnelly?

  Nice.

• 7:17Ant McPartlin?

  Chocolate in there and stuff.

• 7:18Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely.

• 7:19Ant McPartlin?

  Amanda's, I got from Amanda Holden, I got some lovely glassware.

• 7:24Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 7:24Ant McPartlin?

  Nice, aren't they? Coloured glasses.

• 7:26Declan Donnelly?

  Really nice.

• 7:26Ant McPartlin?

  I like wall glasses. Didn't remember getting anything from KSI.

• 7:30Declan Donnelly?

  No, he didn't give any gifts.

• 7:31Ant McPartlin?

  I don't think anybody told him about the gift thing. Because this is his full, first full series as a judge. No one would have, should have told him. No one's told him that we give gifts.

• 7:41Declan Donnelly?

  I did, I did expect a hamper on Monday, though.

• 7:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. I mean, once you've got your gifts, you would then quickly.

• 7:47Declan Donnelly?

  Quickly.

• 7:47Ant McPartlin?

  Send something. Still waiting for something. Then I opened Simon Cowell's present.

• 7:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I opened Simon Cowell's present too.

• 7:55Ant McPartlin?

  And you would expect, I don't know, I mean, we work really hard on that show. So a car maybe or something, like car, motorbike?

• 8:03Declan Donnelly?

  Previous years, we've had very fancy hampers from Harrods.

• 8:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we have. Harvey Nichols.

• 8:09Declan Donnelly?

  Selfridges. We've had very big presents in years gone by.

• 8:13Ant McPartlin?

  This year.

• 8:14Declan Donnelly?

  And for those of you just listening, I mean, you really have to see this.

• 8:17Ant McPartlin?

  You do, you do. We'll put it on our socials.

• 8:20Declan Donnelly?

  But we'll describe it when Anne pulls out his little orange bag.

• 8:22Ant McPartlin?

  So the first thing was this Britain's Got Talent card, the ones that we use to announce the results at the end. So that was free, so they hadn't even paid for that.

• 8:31Declan Donnelly?

  What a wonderful piece of memorabilia for me.

• 8:33Ant McPartlin?

  Just says Aunt. So I knew it was mine and not Dex's. That's how I tell these things. So.

• 8:40Declan Donnelly?

  So not even like a thanks card?

• 8:41Ant McPartlin?

  No, just Aunt, just Aunt.

• 8:43Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, could someone get me some cue cards?

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, there's one kiss on there. One X. Aunt X. And then this.

• 8:53Declan Donnelly?

  Now, if you're just listening, Anders pulled out of his little red bag, a signed headshot of Simon Cowell.

• 9:02Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna put it between us.

• 9:04Declan Donnelly?

  Simon Cowell will never come between us. And it's signed, lots of love, Simon.

• 9:09Ant McPartlin?

  That's it. That's it, that's our present of Simon Cowell. A picture, a signed photo of himself. And he thinks he looks like George Clooney in there, but he doesn't. He's really smaller, isn't he?

• 9:22Declan Donnelly?

  He's quite small.

• 9:23Ant McPartlin?

  He's really going for it. He's really going for it with that look.

• 9:25Declan Donnelly?

  He looks Hollywood icon.

• 9:26Ant McPartlin?

  He does. It does look a little bit like George Clooney.

• 9:29Declan Donnelly?

  It does look like George Clooney.

• 9:30Ant McPartlin?

  To be fair, to be fair to your Si. So, anyway, I expected more. That's what I got. So, does anyone want to swap it? Anyone? Because it's not personalised, it doesn't say to one. Could be to anyone.

• 9:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Ant McPartlin?

  Have you always wanted a signed photo of Simon Cowell? I'm sure you probably, they're very rare. He doesn't do this a lot.

• 9:53Declan Donnelly?

  He doesn't do the lot.

• 9:54Ant McPartlin?

  You haven't seen a lot of these on the internet. You can't just go and buy these.

• 9:56Declan Donnelly?

  Well, they're not that rare because we've got two.

• 9:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but I'll see him next year, so I can get it again. So, I'd love to swap this photo for something, please.

• 10:05Declan Donnelly?

  Fantastic.

• 10:06Ant McPartlin?

  And leave it up to you.

• 10:07Declan Donnelly?

  That sounds like a brilliant.

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  Get your swaps in.

• 10:09Declan Donnelly?

  If you've got anything you'd like to swap for the signed Simon Cowell picture of Ants, send it to us, hang it out at bantalbox.com. I will collate them and present some to you, maybe next week.

• 10:21Ant McPartlin?

  Great.

• 10:22Declan Donnelly?

  Are you gonna keep yours, Deck, though? Oh, I'm keeping mine. It's gonna be worth a fortune. No, I'm telling you, we should keep one for the shelf.

• 10:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, put it on the shelf and we'll swap one.

• 10:30Declan Donnelly?

  So, we'll swap one, keep one.

• 10:31Ant McPartlin?

  Keep one, swap one. Pop them on the shelf for now, though. Pop them over there for now with the Brim's Got Talent card. That's it. Put them there, just peering over your shoulder.

• 10:38Declan Donnelly?

  Is that off putting?

• 10:39Ant McPartlin?

  There's Simon Cowell.

• 10:42Declan Donnelly?

  There he is.

• 10:43Ant McPartlin?

  On the shelf, back on the shelf. And I went for, and then I went for something to eat, right? So, me-

• 10:50Declan Donnelly?

  After the show?

• 10:51Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, after opening me presents.

• 10:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, right, right.

• 10:53Ant McPartlin?

  It's still on my Sunday.

• 10:54Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, it's still on Sunday, sorry.

• 10:55Ant McPartlin?

  So, opened me presents, went for something to eat. We took Wilder to see his nanny. We thought, I'll go and see my mother-in-law, we'll take the little one. So, it wasn't breakfast, it wasn't lunch. It was-

• 11:06Declan Donnelly?

  Brunch.

• 11:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but I hate saying brunch. Who likes that word brunch?

• 11:10Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I love brunch.

• 11:11Ant McPartlin?

  Late, late, it was a late breakfast. We went for a late breakfast.

• 11:14Declan Donnelly?

  Early lunch.

• 11:15Ant McPartlin?

  Early lunch.

• 11:15Declan Donnelly?

  Bit of a lunchy brunch.

• 11:17Ant McPartlin?

  It wasn't brunch. Wasn't brunch.

• 11:19Declan Donnelly?

  What did you eat then?

• 11:20Ant McPartlin?

  Well, this is the thing. So we went to this really lovely restaurant. It's been done up, right? You know, you go in and you can see the chefs cooking. You know, when they've got a bit like that, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great, great.

• 11:29Declan Donnelly?

  Open kitchen.

• 11:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, lovely. So we go, we sit down. My mother-in-law's like, have whatever you want. I'm, I'm, I'm ordering, have whatever you want. Have the fry if you want the fry. I said, well, I haven't had breakfast, so I am quite hungry. She goes, yeah, have, we have the fry. They do this here. They do this here. And while that's going daddy, daddy, daddy. And the waitress comes over and she's running through the specials. And my wife's like, let's make sure we eat now because then we won't need lunch when we get back because it's a late breakfast, not brunch. And then while I can have a little bite to eat as well and then, you know, that's the kills two birds with one stone. So anyway, she's running through the specials. He's going daddy, daddy, daddy. My wife gets the menu like that and just goes, oh my God.

• 12:10Ant McPartlin?

  Really loudly. And it shocks all of us. The waiter stops talking, he stops, while he stops talking. Mother stops talking. I'm like, and she gives no explanation and goes, we'll have croissants. Like this. I'm like, what? And she looks at me and she gives that, she goes, we'll have croissants. And I'm, I'm like, this is, this is brunch? I mean, this is.

• 12:36Ant McPartlin?

  This is an early lunch, late breakfast?

• 12:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:38Ant McPartlin?

  There's a fry up on there. My mother-in-law's paying for it.

• 12:42Declan Donnelly?

  Croissants are never gonna see you through till dinner.

• 12:44Ant McPartlin?

  So anyway, I do as I'm told and I order a croissant. He gets croissants, her mum gets croissants. So we have, we have three coffees for croissants. And then the waitress goes, okay, thank you, walks off quite confused. I went, what the hell was all that about? She went, I've just seen the chef picking his nose. I was, oh my God. I said, what? She went, I just saw the chef picking his nose. That's why he shouted, oh my god, she went, yeah. I said, well, we all heard you say that. She goes, we can't eat here now. I said, would you order croissants? She went, we can't. If that chef picks up the croissants with these bogey fingers, then I can't. She goes, we can't, we can't eat here. She goes, I'm gonna have to go and say, she goes, go and speak to them. I says, about what? And say what?

• 13:29Ant McPartlin?

  That my wife thinks she saw the chef. She goes, I didn't think, I did see him. I did see him pick his nose. So I said, I'm not gonna go in there, because I didn't see it. So I kind of put the blame right on her. So anyway, she went in, she went, I'm gonna have to do it. Because he was hungry, I was starving. So she goes in and she said to the woman, she goes, I've just seen the chef picking his nose. Because he's not gonna handle the croissants, is he?

• 13:56Ant McPartlin?

  And then she goes, to be fair to the waiter, she goes, I'll do that. She goes, I'll bag the croissants for you. She goes, if you wanna take them to go and stuff. She goes, I'll make sure I'll handle everything. And she did. We got the croissants and coffee and we left.

• 14:13Declan Donnelly?

  What would you do?

• 14:14Ant McPartlin?

  What would you do? It's a good question. If you saw a chef picking his nose in an open kitchen, could you still order food there?

• 14:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 14:22Ant McPartlin?

  Could you still eat there?

• 14:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 14:24Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 14:25Declan Donnelly?

  He turns his sausages with tongs. He's not gonna touch me sausages.

• 14:29Ant McPartlin?

  Well, what about a croissant though?

• 14:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I wouldn't order the croissants. That's the worst thing to order.

• 14:33Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 14:34Declan Donnelly?

  Because he has to pick them up.

• 14:35Ant McPartlin?

  With his hands, with his bogey fingers?

• 14:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 14:37Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know why she went croissants.

• 14:38Declan Donnelly?

  Croissants is the worst thing.

• 14:39Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 14:40Declan Donnelly?

  You just turn your sausages with tongs.

• 14:42Ant McPartlin?

  It's true. And your bacon with tongs, with the little ladle thing.

• 14:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 14:47Declan Donnelly?

  Should have went for the, should have gone, yeah, he should have done that.

• 14:49Ant McPartlin?

  It did put me right off. I couldn't really eat the croissant.

• 14:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  I kind of picked at it. I let Wildlife eat loads of it, because it doesn't matter. He's full of bogies and milk and snot, ain't he? Anyway, he puts himself twice a day, so.

• 15:03Ant McPartlin?

  What's a little boggy gonna do?

• 15:05Declan Donnelly?

  He's got to build his immune system anyway.

• 15:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly. But, you know, enough of me.

• 15:09Declan Donnelly?

  You're a bit queasy anyway, aren't you?

• 15:11Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean queasy?

• 15:12Declan Donnelly?

  Well, like, if it's, if there's a day left on the used bar, you won't eat it.

• 15:16Ant McPartlin?

  I used to be like that. I'm less like that now.

• 15:18Declan Donnelly?

  A bit better now.

• 15:18Ant McPartlin?

  A little bit better. You usually eat anything.

• 15:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:21Ant McPartlin?

  He will, though. He will literally eat anything.

• 15:24Declan Donnelly?

  I won't eat anything.

• 15:25Ant McPartlin?

  You will?

• 15:25Declan Donnelly?

  I won't.

• 15:26Ant McPartlin?

  You absolutely will.

• 15:27Declan Donnelly?

  I won't. I will not.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  What about if it's been on the floor? How many second rule for each of you?

• 15:33Declan Donnelly?

  Five.

• 15:34Ant McPartlin?

  Depends what it is.

• 15:36Speaker 05

  Chicken nugget?

• 15:38Ant McPartlin?

  Chicken nugget.

• 15:39Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's fine. It's got a protective shell.

• 15:40Ant McPartlin?

  Good question. Chicken nugget's okay. You can blow, you can blow, you can blow stuff off at a chicken nugget. But if it's a boiled sweet that's been in your mouth, that's gone.

• 15:48Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:49Ant McPartlin?

  Because things, things are clinging to that.

• 15:50Declan Donnelly?

  You've definitely got a bit of hair on that.

• 15:52Speaker 05

  Banana?

• 15:53Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you can't. You cannot. Banana, honestly, you drop a little bit of banana, everything sticks to it. I know. I know these things. Once it's gone, it's gone.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  What if you dropped a piece of banana in a bathroom, like a tiled bathroom?

• 16:10Declan Donnelly?

  How near the toilet?

• 16:13Speaker 05

  Closer to the bath?

• 16:14Ant McPartlin?

  Is it my toilet? Because my toilets are very clean. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. What's the worst thing you've dropped on a toilet? What's the worst thing you've dropped on a toilet? Mobiles? Mobile phone?

• 16:27Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, mobile.

• 16:28Ant McPartlin?

  Not so much anymore. It used to be a thing. I used to do it loads.

• 16:31Declan Donnelly?

  It's the, when it's in your back pocket?

• 16:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 16:34Declan Donnelly?

  And you pull your trousers down and go, oh, plop! Not the plop you're expecting. Oh, no. Done that.

• 16:42Ant McPartlin?

  My coat fell down a, uh...

• 16:43Declan Donnelly?

  Your coat?

• 16:44Ant McPartlin?

  My coat.

• 16:48Ant McPartlin?

  Well, jacket. I was in the public toilet and there was nothing to hang me coat on, but I really wanted to take my jacket off because I just needed to sit.

• 16:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you put it?

• 16:56Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I kind of held it under my arm. Held it under my arm like this, and then as I flushed like this, I stood up and it just slipped. It would slip out under me, under me arm and went into the toilet. And it got, it got so wet, like, I don't know. Of course it would get wet, but it was really soggy. Try explaining a soggy jacket when you come out of the toilet. It's impossible.

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  Because had you flushed?

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I flushed.

• 17:25Declan Donnelly?

  So it was gushing?

• 17:26Ant McPartlin?

  It was gushing and I think the flush sucked it in more.

• 17:32Declan Donnelly?

  Oh dear, oh dear.

• 17:35Ant McPartlin?

  This is an advert for Santander, who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible and the road to owning can be a bumpy one.

• 17:44Declan Donnelly?

  Do you remember the day we went to view a house for me, my very first house?

• 17:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I bought one myself. Well, I went along to help you, didn't I?

• 17:52Declan Donnelly?

  Well, because I wanted your opinion. It's such a big deal, isn't it, to invest in a property for the very first time? And it's such a lot of money and it's a big commitment. It's a big grown up decision to make. I really wanted somebody else's opinion.

• 18:05Ant McPartlin?

  You needed support.

• 18:06Declan Donnelly?

  I needed support.

• 18:07Ant McPartlin?

  So you asked for me.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  Well, yes, you know, you were my best friend at the time.

• 18:13Declan Donnelly?

  So I just wanted somebody there to back up that I was doing the right thing.

• 18:17Ant McPartlin?

  What can I say? Everybody needs someone like me in their lives.

• 18:22Ant McPartlin?

  Imagine what it's like for first time buyers now.

• 18:24Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I think it's even harder nowadays.

• 18:26Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 18:27Declan Donnelly?

  It's like you've got a mountain to climb to do it. But did you know that Santander have first time buyer mortgages with deposits starting from just £10,000, even on larger loans?

• 18:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I did know that. We recorded an advert for just that last week. Now, over to Lola for the Ts and Cs.

• 18:43Declan Donnelly?

  Lola, you're on.

• 18:44Ant McPartlin?

  Hit it.

• 18:44Speaker 06

  You may lose your home if you don't keep up your mortgage payments. Mortgage subject to status and lending policy. 500k max loan on houses with a 10k deposit. Min 5% deposit is required for flats, new build and properties in Northern Ireland. Santander UK PLC.

• 19:00Declan Donnelly?

  Very good.

• 19:01Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a competition, but you were better than Fiona.

• 19:05Declan Donnelly?

  Although Fiona, can you just have a little, can we have a little trumpet from you?

• 19:09Declan Donnelly?

  That's very good.

• 19:10Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, she's better at that.

• 19:12Declan Donnelly?

  Visit santander.co.uk for more details.

• 19:14Ant McPartlin?

  Santander, it starts here.

• 19:18Declan Donnelly?

  I wanted to ask you about your bananas.

• 19:21Ant McPartlin?

  What about them?

• 19:22Declan Donnelly?

  Did they ripen on Saturday?

• 19:23Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, my bananas.

• 19:24Declan Donnelly?

  There was a rigmarole at the show on Saturday.

• 19:27Ant McPartlin?

  Well, just to look.

• 19:28Declan Donnelly?

  We got there and got his rider, which is obviously a bunch of bananas.

• 19:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yep.

• 19:32Declan Donnelly?

  A rider is your demands for your dressing room.

• 19:35Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a demand. It's not a demand.

• 19:37Declan Donnelly?

  A list of demands.

• 19:38Ant McPartlin?

  It's a request. It's not a demand.

• 19:43Declan Donnelly?

  And Ant's rider is a bunch of bananas and uh some weird tea. What is that tea?

• 19:50Ant McPartlin?

  It's like a detox tea.

• 19:51Declan Donnelly?

  Detox tea is very weird.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  Cinnamon tea.

• 19:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:54Ant McPartlin?

  Lovely. Malawi, what are you, salt of the people? Green tea?

• 19:58Declan Donnelly?

  Green tea and some sleepy time tea.

• 20:01Ant McPartlin?

  And chocolate buttons.

• 20:02Declan Donnelly?

  And some chocolate buttons. But Ant got a big bunch of bananas on his rider that he demanded and.

• 20:08Ant McPartlin?

  Requested.

• 20:09Declan Donnelly?

  He wasn't very happy because they were a bit green, they were very ripe.

• 20:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they were awful.

• 20:12Declan Donnelly?

  But he took steps, he took steps.

• 20:14Ant McPartlin?

  I did took steps, yeah.

• 20:15Declan Donnelly?

  What did you do?

• 20:16Ant McPartlin?

  Well, my wife was there and she said, why don't you leave them in the sun? So I went out on the ba- this little balcony outside our dressing room and I left them there. But then I forgot about them and only remember when the sun had gone down.

• 20:26Declan Donnelly?

  I remember after the show.

• 20:27Ant McPartlin?

  After the show.

• 20:28Declan Donnelly?

  We're getting changed out of our tuxedos and I heard, oh, me bananas!

• 20:33Declan Donnelly?

  I thought he got his zipper cord.

• 20:34Ant McPartlin?

  This is how rock and roll I get these days, guys. Are my bananas ripened?

• 20:39Declan Donnelly?

  And had they ripened?

• 20:40Ant McPartlin?

  No, but by Sunday they were perfect.

• 20:41Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, lovely.

• 20:42Ant McPartlin?

  So when I wasn't very full from the half a croissant I ate, I just signed up. Two bananas when I got home.

• 20:49Declan Donnelly?

  Phew.

• 20:50Ant McPartlin?

  Phew. Total bananas, can I finish off my banana rating for Legends? Which is the Steve Coogan show on Netflix.

• 20:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, War on Drugs.

• 20:59Ant McPartlin?

  War on Drugs, uh, set in the late eighties, early nineties. Very good. I give it a very strong seven bananas.

• 21:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that is good.

• 21:09Ant McPartlin?

  Seven strong bananas, strong ripe bananas.

• 21:13Declan Donnelly?

  Left out in the sun.

• 21:14Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, one caveat, I have one little, little criticism, just a tiny, teeny weeny criticism.

• 21:19Declan Donnelly?

  This is why it's not an eight.

• 21:21Ant McPartlin?

  Is, I think there's one, and if you watch it, let me know if you agree. There is one cast member who I think has been cast badly. So there's one character in the show that, and I won't give anything away if you haven't seen it, but you, you watch the show and you go, I don't believe he would be capable of doing that.

• 21:39Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 21:40Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 21:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:41Ant McPartlin?

  Don't think it's, I don't think he was cast right.

• 21:43Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 21:44Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's it. So, but, but the rest is superb. Very good.

• 21:49Declan Donnelly?

  I've just done the first episode, which I liked it a lot.

• 21:52Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 21:52Declan Donnelly?

  So I am looking forward to finishing that.

• 21:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, circle back and give us a banana.

• 21:57Declan Donnelly?

  Seven bananas is promising.

• 21:58Ant McPartlin?

  Seven bananas is promising.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  Have you guys seen the Kylie doc?

• 22:01Ant McPartlin?

  The Kylie doc?

• 22:02Declan Donnelly?

  No, I haven't yet.

• 22:03Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 22:03Speaker 05

  You're in it.

• 22:04Declan Donnelly?

  We're in it. We're in the Kylie doc.

• 22:06Speaker 05

  You are in the Kylie doc.

• 22:07Ant McPartlin?

  Oh god, is she talking about when we went out with each other? Because that, we were never meant to talk about that.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  You guys have worked with her lots though.

• 22:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we have.

• 22:14Declan Donnelly?

  She's, she is so, so lovely. The loveliest, loveliest. Even when I was in a pair of gold hot pants thrust in next to her head, she was so lovely about it.

• 22:26Speaker 05

  Why were you in that situation?

• 22:28Declan Donnelly?

  We did it on Saturday Night Takeaway as an end of the show show with a celebration of Kylie. Um, Aunt was dressed in the white thing with the headdress doing la la la. He was doing that.

• 22:39Ant McPartlin?

  I saw that outfit hanging up at the office the other day.

• 22:41Declan Donnelly?

  Did you?

• 22:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I don't know why. It's like someone's tried on for the weekend because it wasn't at the, it was at the front of the rail.

• 22:47Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, somebody's done that.

• 22:47Ant McPartlin?

  That's not lonely at the front of the rail. Lola, Lola, la la la, la la la la la.

• 22:56Declan Donnelly?

  Lo, lo la, lo, lo la, la la. And yeah, I was gold hot pants and spinning around.

• 23:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, but we worked with her loads. We worked with her on Saturday mornings as well on SMTV Live. She came on. Did she rode me like a horse?

• 23:08Declan Donnelly?

  She did.

• 23:09Ant McPartlin?

  On, on, yeah, she did. Callie Millow rode me like a horse.

• 23:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we did a, was it a, was it a Dexes or a?

• 23:14Ant McPartlin?

  Why are you laughing at?

• 23:15Speaker 05

  You need to explain that one a bit more.

• 23:17Ant McPartlin?

  Callie Millow rode me like a horse, like I was the horse and she got on the back of me and rode me.

• 23:21Declan Donnelly?

  She was dressed as a princess, like a medieval princess.

• 23:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 05

  Still think we need more explanation.

• 23:25Declan Donnelly?

  Well, we get, we get.

• 23:26Ant McPartlin?

  It was Saturday morning television. What more explanation do you need?

• 23:29Declan Donnelly?

  Were you a knight or something and then you became a horse and she got on the back of you and started?

• 23:33Ant McPartlin?

  Rode me like a horse.

• 23:34Declan Donnelly?

  We'll find the clip. We'll put it on Vultabook.

• 23:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Declan Donnelly?

  Because I'm sure there was a method to it. There was method in the madness.

• 23:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, there was. Yeah.

• 23:40Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think we just.

• 23:41Ant McPartlin?

  There was a point.

• 23:42Declan Donnelly?

  Or, or maybe.

• 23:43Ant McPartlin?

  It was in rehearsals.

• 23:44Declan Donnelly?

  Or maybe we just sat around the script meeting that week and I went, I'd like Kylie to ride me like a horse this weekend if that's okay, guys. I've had, I've had an idea for a sketch.

• 23:55Ant McPartlin?

  There's no beginning, there's no middle, there's no end. But I have to be ridden like a horse.

• 24:00Declan Donnelly?

  By Calum Malone.

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  Whoa, great. Oh, I nearly caught that one as well. A plane's just come in.

• 24:05Declan Donnelly?

  Plane's just arrived with some hot, fresh news.

• 24:08Ant McPartlin?

  That was a very good throw, by the way. Over the light.

• 24:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:11Ant McPartlin?

  It was really good. You used the thermals of the light to land gently. I liked it. Guys.

• 24:16Declan Donnelly?

  Guys.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  Following jokes in our dump episode.

• 24:20Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 24:21Ant McPartlin?

  Do we really have to call it a dump episode?

• 24:22Declan Donnelly?

  I think it's caught on, hasn't it? Mind your jacket. There's a dump, dump episode coming.

• 24:27Ant McPartlin?

  Following jokes in our dump episode, listeners have sent in and Heckless Corner have sent some in to some jokes.

• 24:34Declan Donnelly?

  Jokes, brilliant.

• 24:36Ant McPartlin?

  What happened to the man who made the polo?

• 24:38Declan Donnelly?

  What happened to the man who made a polo? He.

• 24:41Ant McPartlin?

  The polo.

• 24:42Declan Donnelly?

  The polo. He, um, something about a hole. Minty hole?

• 24:50Declan Donnelly?

  I'd better stop guessing there. Go on.

• 24:52Ant McPartlin?

  He made a mint.

• 24:54Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, good, good. That is good.

• 24:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Laura. Well done.

• 24:57Declan Donnelly?

  That is better.

• 24:57Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, hi, now crew. Hope you like my jokes. One, driving past a field of cows. How can you tell which cow is on its holidays?

• 25:05Declan Donnelly?

  Because it is.

• 25:09Ant McPartlin?

  The one with the wee cough.

• 25:11Declan Donnelly?

  A wee cough.

• 25:12Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, yeah, okay, okay, okay. When I read it, it didn't work, but when I said it, it worked.

• 25:19Declan Donnelly?

  That's a Scottish joke.

• 25:20Ant McPartlin?

  How do you annoy Lady Gaga?

• 25:22Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 25:24Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 25:25Ant McPartlin?

  Porkerface.

• 25:28Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Okay, that's good.

• 25:30Declan Donnelly?

  Great.

• 25:31Ant McPartlin?

  And you've got some of you, they're not written down, you're just gonna tell us verbally?

• 25:34Speaker 05

  I've just got one.

• 25:35Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Go on, Lola.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  Okay. What do you call a man who can't stand?

• 25:39Declan Donnelly?

  What do you call a man you can't stand?

• 25:41Speaker 05

  A man who can't stand.

• 25:42Declan Donnelly?

  Just who can't stand.

• 25:43Speaker 05

  That list is too long.

• 25:48Ant McPartlin?

  That is my head.

• 25:51Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 25:52Ant McPartlin?

  Neil.

• 25:56Ant McPartlin?

  How do we not get that?

• 25:57Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know, I'm so disappointed in myself.

• 25:59Ant McPartlin?

  So annoyed at myself. Oh, I do have one.

• 26:01Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 26:02Ant McPartlin?

  Go on. What kind of bee makes milk? Oh, I know this.

• 26:05Declan Donnelly?

  I know this.

• 26:05Ant McPartlin?

  I know this. Very nourishing milk.

• 26:10Ant McPartlin?

  Come on. Come on. A booby. A booby!

• 26:16Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good joke. That's a good one.

• 26:18Declan Donnelly?

  What's the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?

• 26:23Ant McPartlin?

  Two months.

• 26:24Declan Donnelly?

  Seasoning.

• 26:25Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 26:27Declan Donnelly?

  What's the best thing about Switzerland?

• 26:31Ant McPartlin?

  Skiing, cheese, cows.

• 26:35Declan Donnelly?

  Well, its flag is a big plus.

• 26:40Ant McPartlin?

  That's good.

• 26:41Declan Donnelly?

  That is good, isn't it?

• 26:42Ant McPartlin?

  That is good.

• 26:43Declan Donnelly?

  That is good.

• 26:45Ant McPartlin?

  I see the diary's back again.

• 26:47Declan Donnelly?

  It's time for the diary, once again. There's not many days left.

• 26:50Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what are you gonna do?

• 26:52Declan Donnelly?

  We're coming to the end of the diary.

• 26:54Ant McPartlin?

  More things to talk about.

• 26:55Declan Donnelly?

  We've only got a few weeks left, but as we've said before, let's not cry because it's over. Let's smile because it happened.

• 27:04Ant McPartlin?

  We haven't said that before. Do we have a jingle? We do. This is from Pete Backler. Hit it, Pete.

• 27:31Ant McPartlin?

  Very good. Well done, Pete.

• 27:33Declan Donnelly?

  A fade.

• 27:33Ant McPartlin?

  Repeat, it's a fade.

• 27:35Declan Donnelly?

  I like that. It's quite 90s.

• 27:36Ant McPartlin?

  Very 90s. 90s, a bit like Suede.

• 27:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, jangly 90s guitars.

• 27:41Ant McPartlin?

  Jangly 90s guitar pop.

• 27:42Declan Donnelly?

  We like that.

• 27:43Ant McPartlin?

  We like that a lot.

• 27:44Declan Donnelly?

  17th of April, 1994, day 21

• 27:48Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 27:48Declan Donnelly?

  of life on the road.

• 27:49Ant McPartlin?

  It's a long hard slog, isn't it?

• 27:51Declan Donnelly?

  Sure is, but it's an exciting day.

• 27:53Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 27:54Declan Donnelly?

  Chart day.

• 27:55Ant McPartlin?

  It's chart day, isn't it?

• 27:56Declan Donnelly?

  Chart day. I've written that twice.

• 27:59Ant McPartlin?

  Have you written the twice where? Chart day, chart day, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Can't say the word, exclamation mark.

• 28:07Declan Donnelly?

  Traveled in the car with Dom, Kim, Annie and Ant, of course.

• 28:12Ant McPartlin?

  Of course.

• 28:12Declan Donnelly?

  So that was our little management team and stopped off at South Mim's services.

• 28:17Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, one of the better service stations out there.

• 28:19Declan Donnelly?

  Nice South Mim's.

• 28:20Ant McPartlin?

  South Mim's, very good.

• 28:22Declan Donnelly?

  Where we met up with Nicky Graham.

• 28:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yep.

• 28:24Declan Donnelly?

  Danny Lu and Michael, the Why Me Writing team.

• 28:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they wrote the song, they wrote the song and produced the song.

• 28:30Declan Donnelly?

  Listened nervously to the radio.

• 28:32Ant McPartlin?

  What do you look like listening nervously? How can you listen nervously?

• 28:35Declan Donnelly?

  I'll let you go.

• 28:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that was it.

• 28:43Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, come on Bruno Brooks, come on Bruno Brooks, quicker. And the final position was?

• 28:52Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty seven.

• 28:53Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, oh, take it back, take it back, put them back in, put them back in, we went down the charts. We went down the charts, guys.

• 29:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I would have loved underlined to have stayed at twenty five.

• 29:05Ant McPartlin?

  So would I.

• 29:06Declan Donnelly?

  But hey, twenty seven is just great.

• 29:08Ant McPartlin?

  Did you say that sarcastically? Or is that, is that, are you being philosophical?

• 29:12Declan Donnelly?

  Exclamation marks, philosophical, I think.

• 29:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, philosophical, I think so.

• 29:16Declan Donnelly?

  Traveled on after phone calls and lots of group hugs.

• 29:20Ant McPartlin?

  God, I hate group hugs.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  Lots of group hugs.

• 29:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know, lots, how many times?

• 29:25Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 29:26Ant McPartlin?

  How many times did we group hug?

• 29:27Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 29:28Ant McPartlin?

  That you were put lots of group hugs, well done. Seriously, well done, like, why go back to the third?

• 29:34Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know if we split it off into smaller groups. And hugged.

• 29:38Ant McPartlin?

  Did you have more group hugs when I went to Lewis?

• 29:40Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe I just keep going, kept going back in.

• 29:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I suppose when you've been on the road as well for a long time, any kind of physical contact is nice. You know?

• 29:49Declan Donnelly?

  We traveled on after phone calls and lots of group hugging to Newcastle underlined.

• 29:55Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 29:56Declan Donnelly?

  Boy, that was.

• 30:00Declan Donnelly?

  Such a letdown after the chart.

• 30:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what a shit. I mean, the chart was a letdown in itself, so we're even more let down.

• 30:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Where did we play in Newcastle under Lyme?

• 30:10Speaker 05

  The Hippodrome.

• 30:11Ant McPartlin?

  The Hippodrome.

• 30:12Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm, wasn't great.

• 30:14Ant McPartlin?

  No. But. It's no Newcastle upon Tyne, is it? Let's face it.

• 30:17Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 30:17Ant McPartlin?

  Newcastle under Lyme.

• 30:19Declan Donnelly?

  The second gig in Staffordshire at the Colosseum.

• 30:22Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 30:23Declan Donnelly?

  Was. Was.

• 30:24Ant McPartlin?

  Was.

• 30:24Declan Donnelly?

  Brill.

• 30:25Ant McPartlin?

  Brill. No one says brill anymore, do they?

• 30:27Declan Donnelly?

  They don't.

• 30:28Ant McPartlin?

  They don't, do they? Is that, what's that a 90s thing? Brill. Why, why have we dropped the e-ant?

• 30:34Speaker 05

  It's just a lot. Your bit.

• 30:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, why, why, why have you dropped the my bit of brilliant? I don't like it.

• 30:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's just, it's not necessary, is it? So unnecessary. Brill's fine. We, we get it. You don't need the e-ant.

• 30:48Ant McPartlin?

  Course we need the e-ant.

• 30:49Declan Donnelly?

  Brill. Brill. Brill.

• 30:51Ant McPartlin?

  No, let's not, no.

• 30:52Declan Donnelly?

  Lose the e-ant. Bring back Brill. The ant, e-ant is unnecessary.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  Can we pop the i back on the brilli?

• 30:59Declan Donnelly?

  Brilli.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Brilli.

• 31:00Ant McPartlin?

  Brilli, no, shut up then, then that's completely me gone out of brilliant. Brilliant.

• 31:05Declan Donnelly?

  Second one of Staffordshire was brilli.

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  No, ant. Brilliant.

• 31:10Declan Donnelly?

  It livened up a bit.

• 31:12Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 31:12Declan Donnelly?

  The long journey home only broken by a curry break.

• 31:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes.

• 31:17Declan Donnelly?

  With a stock of curry and a bottle of champagne to toast our first chart entry.

• 31:22Ant McPartlin?

  Curry and champagne, imagine that the next day.

• 31:24Declan Donnelly?

  It's giving me the gesture just thinking about it.

• 31:26Ant McPartlin?

  Someone's got any reddies just from reading the diary.

• 31:29Declan Donnelly?

  Don't drop your jacket down the toilet that day.

• 31:32Ant McPartlin?

  I wouldn't be fishing that out. I'd be leaving it in there.

• 31:36Declan Donnelly?

  May there be many more.

• 31:38Ant McPartlin?

  And there was.

• 31:39Declan Donnelly?

  Cheers.

• 31:39Ant McPartlin?

  Cheers.

• 31:41Declan Donnelly?

  Life on the road.

• 31:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well done. Well done. Congratulations anyway. Twenty seven. Not me sniffed, that is it.

• 31:46Declan Donnelly?

  Number twenty seven.

• 31:47Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, well done.

• 31:47Declan Donnelly?

  That's alright.

• 31:48Ant McPartlin?

  How brilliant.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  Do you wanna know who the top ten were?

• 31:50Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah, go on. Who's top ten that week?

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Ten, You Are The Best by Dee Ream.

• 31:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know I am, but what's the title of the song?

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Number nine, Rock My Heart by Hadaway.

• 31:59Declan Donnelly?

  Hadaway.

• 32:00Ant McPartlin?

  Hadaway.

• 32:01Speaker 05

  Eight, I'll Remember by Madonna.

• 32:03Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, no, I don't, nah, funny.

• 32:06Declan Donnelly?

  Ironically.

• 32:07Ant McPartlin?

  I don't remember.

• 32:08Declan Donnelly?

  We've forgotten.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  Uh, seven, Like To Move It.

• 32:11Declan Donnelly?

  I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. You like to.

• 32:17Ant McPartlin?

  Move it!

• 32:18Speaker 05

  Number six, The Real Thing by Tony De Barre.

• 32:20Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 32:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Number five, The Sign by The Ace Of Base.

• 32:22Declan Donnelly?

  I saw the sign. Open up my eyes.

• 32:27Ant McPartlin?

  I always keep going, it makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't it?

• 32:30Speaker 05

  Doop, by Doop.

• 32:31Declan Donnelly?

  Doop doop dooby dooby doo da doo.

• 32:33Speaker 05

  Keep going.

• 32:34Declan Donnelly?

  Doop doop dooby doo da doo.

• 32:36Speaker 05

  Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen.

• 32:38Ant McPartlin?

  Streets of Philadelphia.

• 32:40Declan Donnelly?

  My clothes don't fit me no more.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  To the most beautiful girl in the world by Symbal.

• 32:45Declan Donnelly?

  Could you be the most beautiful girl?

• 32:49Ant McPartlin?

  Enough, that's enough.

• 32:50Speaker 05

  Who do you think number one was?

• 32:51Declan Donnelly?

  Number one was Edwin Collins.

• 32:54Ant McPartlin?

  I've never known a girl like you before.

• 33:00Speaker 05

  No.

• 33:01Declan Donnelly?

  Top loader, dancing in the moonlight.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  No, does begin with T.

• 33:04Ant McPartlin?

  The Turtles.

• 33:05Speaker 05

  No the.

• 33:06Ant McPartlin?

  The Terrifics.

• 33:07Speaker 05

  No the.

• 33:09Ant McPartlin?

  The.

• 33:09Declan Donnelly?

  The Tremolos.

• 33:09Speaker 05

  No the.

• 33:11Declan Donnelly?

  No the.

• 33:13Declan Donnelly?

  I thought you were going, no the.

• 33:16Speaker 05

  No, never say the.

• 33:21Ant McPartlin?

  Top loader, dancing in the moonlight.

• 33:24Declan Donnelly?

  That's how he started.

• 33:25Ant McPartlin?

  So I wasn't listening.

• 33:28Declan Donnelly?

  No the.

• 33:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh God, just tell us for Christ's sake.

• 33:37Speaker 05

  Take that.

• 33:37Ant McPartlin?

  Take that.

• 33:41Speaker 05

  Everything changes.

• 33:42Declan Donnelly?

  No the.

• 33:47Ant McPartlin?

  Oh God.

• 33:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God.

• 33:49Ant McPartlin?

  Sweating in here.

• 33:50Declan Donnelly?

  No the.

• 33:56Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast is brought to you by Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant.

• 34:04Ant McPartlin?

  He's late again, as per, isn't he? He's always late.

• 34:07Declan Donnelly?

  You started this, you started this bit yet?

• 34:09Ant McPartlin?

  Not yet.

• 34:11Declan Donnelly?

  Are we on?

• 34:12Ant McPartlin?

  Well, we're on now, now you've turned up. Why are you always late?

• 34:15Declan Donnelly?

  I'm on time, aren't I?

• 34:16Ant McPartlin?

  You know, you're late, you're always late. I'm gonna ask Gemini, Gemini, can you give me some radical?

• 34:23Declan Donnelly?

  Radical?

• 34:23Ant McPartlin?

  Ideas on how to stop my friend being late?

• 34:27Speaker 05

  Perhaps.

• 34:28Declan Donnelly?

  orchestrating a surprise intervention with all your friends to highlight the impact.

• 34:33Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, yes, your ideas are fantastic.

• 34:36Declan Donnelly?

  Can I speak to Gemini for a moment? Hi Gemini, Deck here. Could you give me some believable excuses for why I am a few minutes late? Quite a lot of the time, please. Certainly, Deck. You could try saying perhaps a bizarre traffic delay caused by something unexpected, like a public performance in the middle of the road. That's great. Are those the kind of things you're thinking of? Yes, absolutely spot on. Thanks Gemini.

• 35:07Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks Gemini.

• 35:08Declan Donnelly?

  With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details, or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 35:24Ant McPartlin?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Chat responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies. Eighteen plus.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's fall drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to thirty-five dollars on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on

• 36:22Declan Donnelly?

  Fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalised offers tailored to how you shop. Your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger. Fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See cider store for details. I'm a little bit sad.

• 36:38Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 36:39Declan Donnelly?

  Football's all over for another season.

• 36:40Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's not, is it?

• 36:41Declan Donnelly?

  Well, but then I'm quite excited.

• 36:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 36:43Declan Donnelly?

  Because you've got the World Cup. I can't wait. I'm very excited.

• 36:47Ant McPartlin?

  There's nothing better than a summer with tournament football.

• 36:50Declan Donnelly?

  World Cup summer or a Euros summer is the best. I love it. It's also around the start of the World Cup. It is also best friends day. Did you know that?

• 37:00Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 37:01Declan Donnelly?

  Best friends day. You know, I love a day.

• 37:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 37:04Declan Donnelly?

  Best friends day is coming up, so I thought we could have a little best friends quiz.

• 37:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah. Go on then.

• 37:09Declan Donnelly?

  And see how well we know each other.

• 37:11Ant McPartlin?

  I've written some questions.

• 37:11Declan Donnelly?

  Because we've never done this before, have we, Mr and Mr?

• 37:13Ant McPartlin?

  Never, never. Who's written the, who's written the questions?

• 37:17Speaker 05

  We did.

• 37:17Declan Donnelly?

  Heckless Corner.

• 37:18Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, and we're gonna ask each other the questions.

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I thought, because it's the World Cup, we could do it like a penalty shootout.

• 37:24Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, very good.

• 37:25Ant McPartlin?

  Put a graphic on there.

• 37:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, best of five, and you've got a cheer and a boo on your card.

• 37:29Ant McPartlin?

  Go on, miss, go on, miss.

• 37:33Ant McPartlin?

  I like it.

• 37:34Declan Donnelly?

  You know, you know I love a sound effect.

• 37:36Ant McPartlin?

  He's got three of his favourite things in this. He's got sound effects, a day and me.

• 37:44Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have the questions then. Right.

• 37:47Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 37:48Declan Donnelly?

  Who wants to go first?

• 37:49Ant McPartlin?

  Me, alphabetical order.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  We don't do a toine course?

• 37:51Declan Donnelly?

  A toine course?

• 37:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, a toine course.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  A coin toss.

• 37:54Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one of you being honest.

• 37:55Ant McPartlin?

  Go on then.

• 37:57Declan Donnelly?

  Which one's it?

• 37:57Ant McPartlin?

  That one.

• 37:58Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, how did you get that?

• 37:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'll go first. Because I know you, so I know you so well. You put it in that one, then you put it behind your back, and you would have thought, I would have thought, you would have swapped it. But I know you, you couldn't be put at the spot.

• 38:11Declan Donnelly?

  You're so annoying.

• 38:12Ant McPartlin?

  And you just kept it in the same hand.

• 38:15Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, I win. Yeah! One to me. Right, the first question is, do I keep my ketchup in the cupboard or in the fridge?

• 38:27Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, this is a very, very good question. So, I would think you can't be bothered to keep it in the fridge. However, I know what you're like and, uh, you, you don't like best before dates or used by dates. And you don't like chefs picking their nose and giving you croissants.

• 38:47Ant McPartlin?

  No, I don't.

• 38:48Declan Donnelly?

  So, I think in the interests of hygiene and longevity, you keep your tomato ketchup in the fridge.

• 38:59Ant McPartlin?

  It is correct. It is in the fridge.

• 39:01Declan Donnelly?

  Question one for you. What time is my alarm set to on my phone?

• 39:08Ant McPartlin?

  Six thirty AM.

• 39:14Declan Donnelly?

  It's six forty-five.

• 39:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, give over, give over. You can't, what?

• 39:19Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it's six forty-five.

• 39:20Ant McPartlin?

  I was right in the ballpark, the same ballpark there.

• 39:22Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you hit the post.

• 39:25Ant McPartlin?

  Next question. Can you name all of my tattoos?

• 39:27Declan Donnelly?

  You just want me to give them names?

• 39:30Declan Donnelly?

  Certainly. Brian, Harry.

• 39:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, damn it, damn it, he's getting the system.

• 39:38Declan Donnelly?

  Well, you've got your family tree.

• 39:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 39:41Declan Donnelly?

  Your John Lennon.

• 39:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Declan Donnelly?

  You have got your dates.

• 39:45Ant McPartlin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:46Declan Donnelly?

  You've got your A heart.

• 39:48Ant McPartlin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:50Declan Donnelly?

  You've got your wings.

• 39:51Ant McPartlin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:53Declan Donnelly?

  You've got your northeast.

• 39:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, always good.

• 39:57Declan Donnelly?

  I look at you quite a lot when you've got my clothes on. You have got your playpaws.

• 40:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 40:06Declan Donnelly?

  And the doggy outline.

• 40:09Ant McPartlin?

  Very good.

• 40:10Declan Donnelly?

  Is that all of them?

• 40:11Ant McPartlin?

  No, you missed a few.

• 40:13Declan Donnelly?

  What have I missed?

• 40:14Ant McPartlin?

  You've missed, I've got stars there.

• 40:16Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, god damn it!

• 40:18Ant McPartlin?

  I've got my triangle circle symbol there. I've got my...

• 40:21Declan Donnelly?

  Of course, you've got loads.

• 40:22Ant McPartlin?

  ...so really healthy one there. I have got, uh, an arrow on this arm.

• 40:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Ant McPartlin?

  And I've got Poppy and Daisy on this arm!

• 40:29Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I missed tons.

• 40:29Ant McPartlin?

  You missed loads. You missed loads. So you missed by miles. That's in the crowd.

• 40:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 40:33Ant McPartlin?

  That is in the crowd.

• 40:35Declan Donnelly?

  Over the bar. Over the bar. Oh, it's me.

• 40:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 40:39Declan Donnelly?

  Who's my most listened to artist?

• 40:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, come on. Have you ever listened to a playlist that Deck has compiled? Honestly, it's like, it's like something was put together in the 1940s. It's got like the Goon Show on there. It has! I'm like, what is this song?

• 41:01Declan Donnelly?

  This is easy.

• 41:02Ant McPartlin?

  It's very eclectic, but I'll go for Sam Fender.

• 41:05Declan Donnelly?

  It's Sam Fender.

• 41:06Ant McPartlin?

  Course it is. Course it is.

• 41:08Declan Donnelly?

  I would have also accepted...

• 41:09Ant McPartlin?

  The Beatles.

• 41:10Declan Donnelly?

  Lady Gaga.

• 41:10Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 41:12Declan Donnelly?

  Because for some reason she was my Spotify...

• 41:14Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes, she was, wasn't she? Yeah.

• 41:15Declan Donnelly?

  ...on-raps artist last year. I don't know why.

• 41:17Ant McPartlin?

  If I could jump into a pool of anything, what would it be full of?

• 41:28Declan Donnelly?

  What a stupid question.

• 41:29Ant McPartlin?

  It's brilliant!

• 41:30Declan Donnelly?

  It's stupid.

• 41:31Ant McPartlin?

  It's a brilliant question. Well done, stupid people over there. I'm right on board with your stupidity.

• 41:37Declan Donnelly?

  I'm thinking bananas. Could you jump into a pool of bananas? Pure bananas. Fine lads.

• 41:44Declan Donnelly?

  Lock it in, Jeremy. Oh.

• 41:47Ant McPartlin?

  Some bananas. Chocolate!

• 41:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 41:49Ant McPartlin?

  Chocolate, obviously. I mean, I might hurt myself.

• 41:52Declan Donnelly?

  Not if it's melted.

• 41:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, melted galaxy chocolate. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 41:58Declan Donnelly?

  Like Augustus Gloop.

• 41:59Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes. It's how I wanna go. It's how I'd like to go.

• 42:05Declan Donnelly?

  Right, what's the first thing I do when I wake up?

• 42:09Ant McPartlin?

  You have a big, long, dehydrated wee.

• 42:12Declan Donnelly?

  I take the dog for his breakfast. And then he goes to garden.

• 42:16Ant McPartlin?

  For a wee.

• 42:17Declan Donnelly?

  He has a wee and I have a wee.

• 42:18Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 42:19Declan Donnelly?

  In the garden.

• 42:20Ant McPartlin?

  So is that, did that go? Did that go? I said I love weaning in the garden. Keep going, tell us more. Well, just when the dogs go out for their wee, I like to have my wee at the same time. Yeah, I used to do it more when I had me Labrador. And because, I don't know, we're just, that's how we roll together. It was just what he was used to. He'd do it, I'd do it. And the little two don't wee as, uh, they're not as in sync with me as the Labrador was. Sometimes they'll wee, sometimes they'll just chase squirrels. So you just don't know.

• 42:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, and you don't want to do that.

• 42:51Ant McPartlin?

  I don't want to chase squirrels. I'm not as quick as squirrels.

• 42:54Declan Donnelly?

  I still do it every night.

• 42:56Ant McPartlin?

  It's freeing, isn't it?

• 42:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I love it. Going into the garden. Take Rocky Free's nighttime wee.

• 43:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 43:01Declan Donnelly?

  While he's doing it, I go, might as well just do mine here as well.

• 43:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, say loads of times.

• 43:04Declan Donnelly?

  Saves a flush.

• 43:06Ant McPartlin?

  Does.

• 43:06Declan Donnelly?

  In case I wet me kagool.

• 43:07Ant McPartlin?

  Saves water. Kagool.

• 43:11Declan Donnelly?

  In case I drop me kagool down the bog. I'll just do it here.

• 43:15Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, right. What's my favourite season?

• 43:21Declan Donnelly?

  Why do you have to say it like that?

• 43:22Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know, I just, I felt like I needed that voice. What's my favourite season?

• 43:30Declan Donnelly?

  I think it is spring. Correct, correct. It's been a long hard winter.

• 43:38Ant McPartlin?

  I love spring.

• 43:38Declan Donnelly?

  Because you get chocolate eggs at Easter.

• 43:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:41Declan Donnelly?

  I know you. I know you. Right. Okay then. Okay, you.

• 43:50Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 43:50Declan Donnelly?

  Let me see.

• 43:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's not icky, is it?

• 43:54Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 43:55Ant McPartlin?

  New ick unlocked. Dex doing that.

• 43:59Declan Donnelly?

  What is my favourite yoga pose?

• 44:04Ant McPartlin?

  Downward dog. You dirty downward dog.

• 44:11Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 44:14Declan Donnelly?

  It's everybody's favourite yoga pose, isn't it?

• 44:15Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 44:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 44:17Ant McPartlin?

  What is my favourite flavour ice cream? That's so easy. If you don't know this, you don't know me at all. And we have a problem.

• 44:30Declan Donnelly?

  I do know.

• 44:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 44:32Declan Donnelly?

  It's something nutty.

• 44:36Declan Donnelly?

  Is it not nutty?

• 44:38Ant McPartlin?

  What would I choose for a death row meal?

• 44:40Declan Donnelly?

  I know.

• 44:41Ant McPartlin?

  Dessert?

• 44:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I know.

• 44:43Ant McPartlin?

  Come on then.

• 44:48Declan Donnelly?

  Take, just wait. A minute. It is, and he says this with some confidence. Vanilla.

• 44:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, it is. Well done. Why did you struggle?

• 45:01Declan Donnelly?

  Because I thought it was pistachio.

• 45:03Ant McPartlin?

  I do like pistachio.

• 45:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I know you do.

• 45:04Ant McPartlin?

  But it's always, if we're doing like a death row meal game, my favorite dessert ever in the world is just vanilla ice cream.

• 45:13Declan Donnelly?

  We should play that.

• 45:14Ant McPartlin?

  We should.

• 45:15Declan Donnelly?

  Death row dinners.

• 45:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 45:16Declan Donnelly?

  I'd be interested for everybody else's death row dinner. You're getting executed first thing in the morning, what you're having tonight. I think we're too nervous to eat. Oh no, you've come to terms with it.

• 45:24Ant McPartlin?

  You've come to terms with it.

• 45:25Declan Donnelly?

  You're fine, you're fine. And it was a victimless crime. It was like corporate fraud.

• 45:30Ant McPartlin?

  But they're killing you for that.

• 45:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it was on a large scale.

• 45:32Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right, right, right.

• 45:34Declan Donnelly?

  It was a large scale. Anywho, if I could have a superpower.

• 45:39Ant McPartlin?

  Like it'd be invisible. Oh, yes.

• 45:42Ant McPartlin?

  I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I knew it. I've won.

• 45:48Declan Donnelly?

  Well done.

• 45:50Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, thank you. Seems I know you best.

• 45:54Declan Donnelly?

  Seems it does. What was your last question?

• 45:57Ant McPartlin?

  What eh, what's my favorite memory of you?

• 46:00Declan Donnelly?

  You've got a lot to choose from there.

• 46:03Declan Donnelly?

  Could be anything.

• 46:04Ant McPartlin?

  What's my favorite memory of you? Whatever. What is my favorite memory of you? I've got so many good memories. We've done so much together. Um, we've traveled the world together. We continue to work together. We laugh a lot.

• 46:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 46:18Ant McPartlin?

  Just laughing. My favorite memory is laughing.

• 46:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 46:20Ant McPartlin?

  You know, you really make me laugh and long may it continue. Still be, still be funny.

• 46:27Declan Donnelly?

  Or stupid.

• 46:28Ant McPartlin?

  Just don't do it. Laughing.

• 46:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I would say that. Favorite memory is travelling the world, having laughs, having fun and amazing experiences.

• 46:41Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 46:42Declan Donnelly?

  Like.

• 46:43Ant McPartlin?

  You're not filling out some kind of like, what did you like about this hotel?

• 46:48Declan Donnelly?

  I like it when we go swimming.

• 46:50Ant McPartlin?

  What? We don't go swimming. You never go swimming?

• 46:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we do.

• 46:54Ant McPartlin?

  We don't. When do we go swimming? When do we go swimming?

• 46:59Declan Donnelly?

  We do.

• 47:01Ant McPartlin?

  We don't. We don't go swimming.

• 47:05Ant McPartlin?

  Why are you laughing at this?

• 47:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we do.

• 47:08Ant McPartlin?

  We don't. Alright, I go swimming, you go swimming, we never go swimming at the same time.

• 47:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we do. Yeah, we play catch.

• 47:16Ant McPartlin?

  Shut up.

• 47:17Declan Donnelly?

  We play catch and dive sticks.

• 47:23Declan Donnelly?

  Are you ready for some letters?

• 47:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 47:25Declan Donnelly?

  From our listeners and viewers?

• 47:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 47:27Declan Donnelly?

  I'll go and get the postbag.

• 47:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, yes. You could have got the postbag, because I'm always ready for letters. You could just have the letters ready, because I am ready to read them.

• 47:38Declan Donnelly?

  He is ready, ready. He is ready, ready. He is ready to read them.

• 47:41Ant McPartlin?

  You take that one.

• 47:42Declan Donnelly?

  Who wants to go first?

• 47:43Ant McPartlin?

  Me. Me, me, me. Hi, I'm Deck. Wanted to get your thoughts on the new concept of celebs all in footy clubs? And if you guys would ever consider it, e.g. Ryan Mennells, Tom Brady, the class of ninety-two. If you could buy any team and try and get them up, who and why? Love and respect Connor.

• 48:04Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 48:04Ant McPartlin?

  Great letter, Connor.

• 48:06Declan Donnelly?

  Great letter.

• 48:06Ant McPartlin?

  Great letter. I mean, of course, we'd buy Newcastle United, but.

• 48:09Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, not anymore.

• 48:10Ant McPartlin?

  Not anymore. We can't afford that.

• 48:12Declan Donnelly?

  Out of my price range.

• 48:13Ant McPartlin?

  Out of all price bracket.

• 48:14Declan Donnelly?

  There must be a, there'd be a good club up in the.

• 48:17Ant McPartlin?

  Gateshead?

• 48:18Declan Donnelly?

  Mm, Gateshead. That'd be good.

• 48:20Ant McPartlin?

  Gateshead would be a good one.

• 48:21Declan Donnelly?

  Or there's like Newcastle Blue Star.

• 48:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 48:23Declan Donnelly?

  Or.

• 48:24Ant McPartlin?

  Black Spartans.

• 48:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Or Keaton Stan or one of those kind of good non-league clubs.

• 48:29Ant McPartlin?

  Be another northeast team, I think, that we were trying.

• 48:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 48:32Ant McPartlin?

  Get up there. Get up there, the football leagues. Very good.

• 48:38Declan Donnelly?

  It would be good. It sounds like a lot of work, though.

• 48:40Ant McPartlin?

  It does, doesn't it?

• 48:40Declan Donnelly?

  And a lot of, a lot of cash.

• 48:43Ant McPartlin?

  It's the quickest way to becoming a millionaire, owning a football club, if you're a billionaire.

• 48:48Declan Donnelly?

  Takes a lot of money, and I don't like spending money.

• 48:53Declan Donnelly?

  I like keeping it in me mattress.

• 48:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, it would be very expensive.

• 49:00Ant McPartlin?

  It would be very expensive. And I just, I mean, I'd just like to go to football and support the team.

• 49:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 49:06Ant McPartlin?

  I'd rather not know what's

• 49:08Declan Donnelly?

  The balance sheet.

• 49:08Ant McPartlin?

  The ins and outs, yeah.

• 49:09Declan Donnelly?

  Um, KSI's got Dagenham and Redbridge now, hasn't he?

• 49:12Ant McPartlin?

  Why? No, but why?

• 49:15Declan Donnelly?

  He obviously loves the idea of it.

• 49:16Ant McPartlin?

  I need to speak to him about it because I'd like to know exactly why Dagenham and Redbridge.

• 49:22Declan Donnelly?

  Um.

• 49:22Ant McPartlin?

  Because is he from Dagenham? He's not, is he? But mind you saying that, Ryan Mennells isn't from Wrexham, is he?

• 49:28Declan Donnelly?

  No, I don't think he is.

• 49:29Ant McPartlin?

  And Tom Brady's not from Birmingham.

• 49:31Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 49:31Ant McPartlin?

  So I suppose it makes no.

• 49:33Declan Donnelly?

  Birmingham, Alabama.

• 49:34Ant McPartlin?

  Makes no difference.

• 49:36Declan Donnelly?

  Got a letter here from Hattie. It's nine from Stamford in Lincolnshire. Mummy and I love your podcast.

• 49:44Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, Mummy and Hattie.

• 49:45Declan Donnelly?

  We listen together every week. We would give it eight bananas and eight eggs.

• 49:48Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you. Hey, forget the eggs. Who brought the eggs back into it?

• 49:51Declan Donnelly?

  I would like to ask you a question. Have you ever read the Beano when you were younger?

• 49:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 49:55Declan Donnelly?

  It's really good. And in one of the Beanos, you both feature on Dennis's 10th birthday. Photo attached for you to see. Respect, guys. Love from Hattie.

• 50:05Ant McPartlin?

  Two grown men paid to behave like seven year olds and somehow still the nicest chaos on TV. Ah, what a backhanded compliment that is.

• 50:14Declan Donnelly?

  They're quite interesting drawings, aren't they, both?

• 50:16Ant McPartlin?

  I'm wearing a lot of mascara.

• 50:20Declan Donnelly?

  And lipstick.

• 50:20Ant McPartlin?

  And lipstick, yeah.

• 50:22Declan Donnelly?

  And I've got my butt cut back. That's great. Yes, Hattie, I have read the Beano. And in fact, when I was younger, I was in the Beano fan club.

• 50:29Ant McPartlin?

  Same here. That was the one fan club I joined.

• 50:31Declan Donnelly?

  It's an honour to be in the Beano.

• 50:32Ant McPartlin?

  It really is.

• 50:33Declan Donnelly?

  Love that.

• 50:34Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, Ant and Dec. This is more of an observation that makes me giggle while watching you two on live TV. I want to know your thoughts.

• 50:42Declan Donnelly?

  Uh oh.

• 50:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, here we go. I watched BGT Live this weekend. Oh, the final? BGT Live. Do we call it that?

• 50:50Declan Donnelly?

  No, I've never called it that.

• 50:51Ant McPartlin?

  No, you don't call it that. Um.

• 50:52Declan Donnelly?

  Welcome back to BGT Live.

• 50:55Ant McPartlin?

  When you guys ask the acts question and after their act.

• 50:59Declan Donnelly?

  Mm hmm.

• 51:00Ant McPartlin?

  A lot of the time, they will grab the microphone from you and start speaking. Yes, they do. They do. It really makes me giggle when you're trying to get the microphone back as fast as possible, especially Dec. Obviously, because it's live TV, you have a timeframe, right?

• 51:15Declan Donnelly?

  Right, that's right. That's right.

• 51:17Ant McPartlin?

  I was wondering if it actually feels like you're fighting for your life, trying to stay on track with the live TV timeframe as much as it looks. Respect, Ellie.

• 51:26Declan Donnelly?

  Well, here's the thing.

• 51:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, Ellie.

• 51:28Declan Donnelly?

  Here is the thing. You're absolutely right. We're up against it for time during Britain's Got Talent. And because we wear earpieces to the people in the gallery and we have to, we have to finish at a certain time and we have to hit the commercial breaks and whatnot. So we have earpieces to the people in charge. None of the judges have earpieces, so they just chat away and a lot of the time they chat for a bit too long. So we have to make up the time elsewhere. And sometimes that is where we had two or three questions to an act. Maybe we have to go back to one question and it certainly doesn't help when that one question has been asked and the act takes the microphone from me. Like, no, give me that back.

• 52:09Ant McPartlin?

  It does scramble your brain though, because you can hear shrieking sometimes in your ear about how over we are.

• 52:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 52:16Ant McPartlin?

  In, in the time. And the judges, even if you tell the judges, oh, we will do a little look. And so I can never see Sam because he's always looking down with his glasses on. He never really catches our eye. Whereas the other three.

• 52:30Declan Donnelly?

  They're pretty good.

• 52:30Ant McPartlin?

  You can kind of go like that, or you can kind of go like this, or you can go, just briefly, Alicia, she gets it straight.

• 52:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, Alicia's good.

• 52:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. But sometimes it's up to them. And if they want to blather on too much, they'll blather on too much.

• 52:43Declan Donnelly?

  And sometimes it's just because the act has had such a brilliant response in the room.

• 52:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you've got to talk about it.

• 52:48Declan Donnelly?

  And you, but sometimes they let the applause happen and the chanting and whatever. And we're stood there going, somebody's got to say something soon because we're running out of time.

• 52:57Ant McPartlin?

  And now she took my microphone. The worst timing to get, or the worst phrase to hear is, 20 seconds to stop talking, which is like, you've got to shut up because the show's going to finish, whether you finish talking or not. And you.

• 53:12Declan Donnelly?

  That's when the credits are going to roll. Whatever happens, the credits are going to roll and you get that 20 seconds.

• 53:17Ant McPartlin?

  Seconds to stop talking. Five seconds, four, three. And the thing is that you can't just make the show go longer. Because Danny Dyer wouldn't be happy about that.

• 53:26Declan Donnelly?

  Why not?

• 53:27Ant McPartlin?

  Because he was on after us.

• 53:27Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I see. I thought he had something to do at home.

• 53:30Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no.

• 53:31Declan Donnelly?

  He needed to get it finished.

• 53:31Ant McPartlin?

  He wouldn't have been happy because he would have been on later. He still would see. It's got a real knock on effect. Or if you're running up to the news at 10. We can't make it, the news at two minutes past ten.

• 53:40Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 53:41Ant McPartlin?

  So you've got to finish on time.

• 53:42Declan Donnelly?

  If you want to send us any letters, any embarrassing stories that you've been involved in, let us know your embarrassing situations, send them to us, [email protected]. We love to read them.

• 53:54Ant McPartlin?

  And of course, if you would like to swap something for the signed Simon Cowell photo, then send it in to [email protected].

• 54:04Declan Donnelly?

  It's got to be a good one.

• 54:05Ant McPartlin?

  I look forward to seeing what the swaps could possibly be for that George Clooney picture. And that's it, is that it?

• 54:11Declan Donnelly?

  That's all we've got time for.

• 54:12Ant McPartlin?

  That's all we've got time for. We spoke a lot, didn't we? I suppose that's what happens on a podcast, you speak a lot.

• 54:17Declan Donnelly?

  We'll be back on Monday with your bonus F. Until next time.

• 54:21Ant McPartlin?

  Au revoir. Oh, respect, guys.

• 54:22Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys.

• 54:23Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys, come on.

• 54:24Declan Donnelly?

  Turn me light off.

• 54:25Ant McPartlin?

  Don't be any glasses.

• 54:27Declan Donnelly?

  See you later.

• 54:27Ant McPartlin?

  Bye.

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