1041. Q&AF: Developing Leadership Qualities, Defense Or Offense & Aiming High Vs Being Realistic

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to become a leader that people naturally want to follow at a young age, when to play offense versus defense after you've built something successful, and how to know if you've settled for less instead of staying ambitious.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and A F, that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a couple of different ways, DJ will tell you how.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Yeah guys, you can email your questions in to [email protected]. You guys can also click the link in the description below, submit them there, or just drop them in the comments section of the Q and A F videos right here on YouTube.

• 0:44Andy Frisella?

  You guys know how it works, um, we're gonna have shows within the show throughout the week. We're gonna have probably CTI, might hit you with a special, uh, 4th of July CTI this week. We know we've been, uh, you know, on and off schedule, but I have other things that have to be done. I'm not a full-time podcaster, contrary to what the internet thinks.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:04Andy Frisella?

  Um, there is a fee for the show, the fee is very simple, uh, share the show, man, alright? We don't do ads on this show, we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't do ads. And the reason we don't do ads is because I don't want people thinking that, uh, I'm getting paid to say anything. So it's very simple, if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, gives you a new perspective, you learn something, you think it's worth sharing, do us a favor, man, and help us grow the show by sharing it. So don't be a hoe.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 1:31Andy Frisella?

  Alright, what's up?

• 1:32Speaker 01

  My brother.

• 1:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, no shit, man, were you about to start a race riot?

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Yep, my doc called me, uh, Malcolm XL.

• 1:38Andy Frisella?

  Malcolm XL?

• 1:39Speaker 01

  It's not funny.

• 1:40Andy Frisella?

  Malcolm XXL?

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Oh no, come on, man.

• 1:44Andy Frisella?

  That's who you used to be, now you're just XL.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  That's right, that's right, that's right, what's going on though, man?

• 1:48Andy Frisella?

  Nothing dude.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, the blue light actually does help, it does help.

• 1:52Andy Frisella?

  It helps a lot.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  It helps a lot.

• 1:53Andy Frisella?

  It helps me with my sleep, sleeping a lot better.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  I need, I need help with my sleep, real talk, sleeping hurts now.

• 2:00Andy Frisella?

  What do you mean?

• 2:01Speaker 01

  Like I just wake up and shit's just fucked up, dude, what is that?

• 2:04Andy Frisella?

  Oh, you don't even know, I don't even wanna hear that, I don't even wanna hear that from you, man.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Bro, like, my shoulder's been fucking killing me.

• 2:12Andy Frisella?

  I don't even wanna hear it.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Like, it, it sucks.

• 2:15Andy Frisella?

  I don't want, I don't.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  I didn't know I could hurt myself from sleeping.

• 2:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, give it another 15 years.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Is there anything I could do to make it better?

• 2:23Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  No, it's just, that's just, it's the cards I've been dealt.

• 2:27Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Fuck, man.

• 2:29Andy Frisella?

  It's called age.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Is that what it is?

• 2:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  Life is ageist, so, um, nah, sweet, man. Uh, how you doing?

• 2:36Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got a busy weekend.

• 2:38Andy Frisella?

  Yep, yep.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Lot of great things happening here.

• 2:41Andy Frisella?

  Yes, sir.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  And, uh, we're here on a, uh, you guys are listening on a Monday to get better.

• 2:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, uh, before we get started, just to let you guys know, we are in QT again. A lot of you guys have been asking about QT. We are, uh, you will find Form Energy in QT, uh, along with the Form Ready Drink Proteins, uh, meat sticks, snacks, the full lineup back in QT, just letting you guys know that. Um, important announcement.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  It's a great announcement.

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Dude, I like, I like QuickTrip.

• 3:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  The Tequitos.

• 3:10Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Bro, they got this new shit out there now. They got chicken tenders, dog.

• 3:16Andy Frisella?

  I wanna hear about that either.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Andy, they slap, okay?

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  I know.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  No sauce.

• 3:20Andy Frisella?

  I, dude, I know QT's like food.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 3:24Andy Frisella?

  Is good.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Dude, no, I've never had chicken tenders that didn't eat sauce.

• 3:27Andy Frisella?

  See, dude, I'm a regular person. I'm not, I don't, I have, I have regular people taste.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  That's right, that's right.

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  QT and Casey's Pizza and that, that's what I love, dude. I love that shit.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Bro, it's just good shit. It's terrible.

• 3:41Andy Frisella?

  I gotta be careful. I gotta be careful, cuz dude, I'll gain 30 pounds in a fucking weekend.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Easy.

• 3:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Easy, but it's light work, dog.

• 3:48Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man. But yeah, I do love it. To me, that's gourmet.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Bro, that's right. That's right. Hell, yeah, man. Uh, well, yeah, man, guys, it's Monday. So as always, I got three good ones for you, alright? Let's make some people better today. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, uh, preface, this is a leadership question. Andy, I'm 31 and I supervise about 15 people at work. Uh, lately, I've been asking myself a question that I can't shake. If I worked for me, would I actually want to follow me? Not because I'm mean or unfair, but because I don't always live up to the standards I expect from other people. How do you become the kind of leader that other people naturally wanna follow instead of someone who's just in charge?

• 4:36Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, first of all, the fact that you're aware of this is a really good sign because most terrible leaders, they believe they're great leaders. The worst leaders on the earth believe they're the best leaders on the earth. It's no different than when you go into a meeting and you know, you need the team to perform and you say, "Hey, we're not doing good enough. We gotta do this and this and this." The people who are already executing at a high level feel like you're talking to them and then the people who aren't doing shit are like, "Oh, he's not talking to me." Definitely not talking to me. Right? So, so the fact that you're aware of your leadership weaknesses is a great sign and you should always be auditing your ability to be an effective leader by examining

• 5:17Andy Frisella?

  your own leadership capability, style, techniques. So, first thing I'll tell you is like, the fact that you're even considering or asking the question tells me that you have the capacity to be a great leader. All right? Because most people don't do that. Um, I think you're asking yourself a great question. Okay? If I was led by me, would I want to follow me? That's a great question to ask yourself. A deep one, dude. Yeah, for sure. And it's honest. It's a real thing. And if you could effectively answer that in a non-biased way, you're going to develop as a great leader. Okay?

• 5:56Andy Frisella?

  Um, but the question was, how, how do I develop? How do I... Look, the greatest leaders in the world understand that leadership is not about authority. It's an equally as important position on the team to the mission at hand. Okay? So they don't look at it like, "Well, I'm the leader, so you gotta do what I say." They look at it like, "I'm the leader and that's a role and these guys have other roles and then those guys behind them have other roles and if we're all rowing in synchronicity, we'll get where we want to go." So, understanding

• 6:36Andy Frisella?

  that leadership is not a position of authority as much as it is a role on a team that has to be executed effectively to produce the outcome is the way that leaders should think about leading. Okay? Your job is to not know all the answers. Your job is to be able to understand what the right answer may be, even if it doesn't come from you. This is called servant leadership, alright? My job is to help them develop. It's to help us figure out the path. And it's for me to choose the path and then help them develop into the people that can effectively move us towards the path.

• 7:21Andy Frisella?

  So that we all get the outcome that we're after. And people don't think of it like that. Bad leaders think of it as like, oh, well, I'm the leader. You gotta listen to what I say. And they don't even really think about anything other than that. Like, that's not leadership, bro. You're just a douchebag, you know? So, um, there's a lot of things that come into great leaders, you know? You need to be willing to do the things that you ask your team to do. You need to be able to do them effectively. Now, if you're a great, great leader, you're going to be surrounded by people who can do the job that you ask them to do much better than you could do it. But you should still be willing to do it, right? Even if you're bad at it, even if you're bad at it in front of the whole team, you should be willing to do that job, or at least do your best to do the job.

• 8:05Andy Frisella?

  Um, you know, living the standard that you ask from your team. You know, Vince Lombardi has a very famous quote that leading by example isn't the best way to lead. It's the only way to lead. And what that means is, is like, if you're not living the standard, if you're not willing to hold yourself accountable to the same standards that you hold the team, nobody's going to believe anything that you say. You know, and then there's other things, like you can't lie to your team. You can't tell them you're going to do shit that you're not going to do. You can't say, hey, we're going to go do these things. And when we get here, this will happen and then not follow through. And these are all things that create bad teams because the leader is ineffective. Um, you know, I mean, dude, there's a million things.

• 8:50Andy Frisella?

  But at the end of the day, you know, leadership is not about authority. It's not about your ego. It's about accomplishing a mission. And if you could keep that intent and that understanding at the forefront of your focus, all of the other things tend to work themselves out, okay? So instead of looking at yourself like, I'm the leader. I'm the man. I'm the boss. I'm the this. You need to be looking at yourself like, I... am entrusted with this duty and obligation to get us where we need to go. And I may not always have the best ideas. Maybe my team could see something that I can't see. Like if you're a general and you're not willing to listen to the guys on the front line, you're going to get people killed, right?

• 9:36Andy Frisella?

  A lot of leaders won't do that. They think they know best. They think they know everything, you know, and really dude, it's about squashing ego. It's about understanding that the mission comes first, the team comes first, and then you investing in the team and empowering the team to accomplish that mission, whatever that might be. So, you know, it's fundamentally different than what most people think. Most people get to a job, they get promoted, they get a little pay raise, and then it's the first time they ever had authority in any situation in their life, and they like to flex it. And that's not what being a great leader is about. Everybody hates that kind of leader. Like you want to talk about a leader that your team run through fucking walls? That's the guy who they know and trust is trying to get us to this destination.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Run through that wall with them.

• 10:22Andy Frisella?

  Yes. And that's the difference between good and effective leaders and people who fucking suck. It's really just about how they view the role. You know, I don't view my role as a leader in any of my companies as a superior place to anybody else, even though technically, yes, it is a, in the hierarchy, it is a position of authority, but that's not how I look at it. I look at it like this. These people are betting their outcome on my ability to get us where we're trying to go, and I owe that to them to get us there. And that's how I look at it. And so, I'm not saying, you know, I'm not even fucked dude, like leadership is also a lifelong skill. Like I don't consider myself a great

• 11:07Andy Frisella?

  leader. I think once you start thinking you're a great leader, just like in any situation, when you start to think it's you, then you get really bad at things, right? So like, leadership is a lifelong journey. It's a lifelong learning process. You're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna fuck up. And dude, if you're a, if you're an ethical leader,

• 11:32Andy Frisella?

  You're gonna learn from those mistakes because you don't want to make them again because dude, when you are in a position of leadership and you make mistakes, the cost isn't just to you, it's to them, right? You could cost them income, you could cost them opportunity, you could waste their time. And, um, you know, if you're an ethical leader, those are the things that are gonna bother you.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Dude, you know what's funny? The, the leadership conversation, I grew up, I spent my, most of my entire life thinking that leaders, you know, we're told there's natural born leaders, we're told that some people just have a natural inclination, which I think is still true, right? For some people, right? But I think the more I started looking at it, it's, it's truly an art form that, that takes investment, right? And I think, and I want you to like, tell me what your thoughts on this, but I think for most leaders, when they get to that leadership position, they've invested in themselves, their education, their skills, they get the title, they stop investing in themselves. How, how did that work for you as you guys started growing, you get more people

• 12:31Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, bro, if you understand that, that you're never really a quote unquote great leader, the greatness will find you in it because you're always developing, you always want to get better. And a lot of people, they will wait to lead. There's so many people out there that have the capacity to be tremendous leaders, but they won't lead before they're given the title of leader. And that is not how it actually works. Leaders, great leaders are usually just the people who take initiative to lead. They're the people who say, okay, well, this needs to get done. And they say, okay, let's do this. Okay. And so they're the first guy to go. That's why it's called

• 13:11Andy Frisella?

  leading, you know, it's the first guy that goes. And if we're all standing around and, uh, you know, there's a fucking big pile of rocks and we gotta put the rocks from over there to over there and all we got is shovels. The first guy that go gets the shovel and starts moving the rocks is going to be the guy that other people follow. Okay. And then a second guy joins in and then a third guy joins in and then there's three guys that won't join in. You're like, hey, fuck you guys. Those guys fall off the team and everybody else just kind of goes. So like you gotta be willing to take the initiative to go first in order for anybody to follow you. And like that just make like it makes verbal sense. It makes logical sense. It's tactically correct.

• 13:52Andy Frisella?

  The, the taking initiative to just do the things that you observe need to be done is leading. And eventually people will follow you if you're willing to do that. And yeah, like, you know, people are afraid to lead because they're like, oh, they're gonna make fun of me. It's like the kid in the class who asked the questions when you're in, well, that kid ends up being like the smart motherfucker that makes money, right? And all the other kids that are making fun of them, they end up, their, their lives suck.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Following other leaders.

• 14:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. So like, you know, you gotta be willing to look stupid. You gotta be willing to go first. You gotta be willing to understand it's not about you being a leader. It's about moving the motherfucking rocks from there to there. And that's like the simplest way that you can look at it. You know, when you look at amazing historic leadership figures over the course of time, they just identify what need to be done and they started doing it and other people joined in, right? And then you get to accelerated leadership. Uh, you know, you move up the chain a little bit and you're like, okay, well, this, and you paint this picture, this is what we're going for. This is what needs to happen. And then you start and other people follow in behind you. That's just how it works, man.

• 15:03Andy Frisella?

  So like this whole idea, you know, like when you're on a team and you're not giving the, like so many people ruin their lives this way. They're on a team. They know what needs to be done, but they won't do it because they're afraid that if they do it, they're, they're gonna make a mistake or they're afraid that, you know, um, other people won't follow them or they'll look at it and be like, man, well, you know, Andy's the leader here. Why doesn't he see this or that? Well, that's your job to go do that thing or show me that thing and take the initiative. And that's what actually like from an intrapreneur standpoint, which is most people, that's what drives your value within an organization. Someone who can look at something, observe it, handle it.

• 15:48Andy Frisella?

  And usually handle it without ever having to be told. And we always talk about the two things that are needed to be successful. Well, that's probably the third one, if we had a third one, right? We talk about being smart enough to not make the mistake more than once. And if you make it more than once, don't make it three times.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:06Andy Frisella?

  Being tough enough to go down the gauntlet without ever quitting. It doesn't matter how many times you get smashed in the face or kicked in the nuts, or demoralized or beat on. You get the fuck up every single time. And then the third thing is, is if you can identify problems and you can solve problems without having to be told. Those three things together will produce success in your life. Doesn't matter if you're an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur. Those things will produce performance and you will get compensated for that. So those are three character qualities that you have to invest in and develop. You know, are you smart enough to not make the same mistake twice? Are you tough enough to continue to move when it feels hopeless? And are you willing to

• 16:50Andy Frisella?

  take the initiative to solve the problems when you see the problems without having to be told to solve the problems and handle them? Those are the three things that create value inside of an organization or a team or whatever it is that you're you're involved in. So it's really simple. It's just you have to invest in those things. And to your question, you know, if you, you know, people tease me a lot because they're, you know, they'll say things like, oh, man, congratulations, all the success. I'm like, dude, I'm just getting started. Okay. Now, while I know that that might be a little bit of an exaggeration, like I understand, we've done some things. I will always say that because I don't want that voice to infect my mindset.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:35Andy Frisella?

  I don't want taking that credit to infect my ability to be effective. You see what I'm saying?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Get you comfortable.

• 17:43Andy Frisella?

  So I try to stay very humble with where I'm at, which keeps me hungry, which keeps me moving forward. And I try to make it the best I can about other people and not myself. You know, and, and sometimes we all fall victim to our own ego. And when you do, you've got to be able to recognize it. You've got to be able to be like, hey, man, I'm getting a little too, too high on my own supply there. You know what I'm saying? And, um, but that happens when you're winning, right? And, and, and so I think it's just important to always remember this isn't about you. It's not about having authority. It's not about you being the man. It's about what you accomplish and what you accomplish with your team and what you accomplish for your team and understanding that like

• 18:27Andy Frisella?

  when people bet on you, you have an obligation to fucking run across that line and get them where they want to go, what they're betting on. And you know, that ultimately comes down to a character, a, a, a person with ethics, someone who puts the team before themselves, who puts the goal before anything. And that's what ends, those things all combined that we're talking about are what, that's the magic of leadership. It's not charisma, dude. There's plenty of leaders that, you know, quote unquote, they give a fiery speech and everybody's, oh, man, that guy's a natural born leader. Well, how many times has he given that speech? How mu- what would it look like the first time he gave the speech?

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:05Andy Frisella?

  Probably didn't look like that. Okay? That's actually an after effect of being a leader for so long. You understand? So people think that like, oh, you gotta have this and you gotta have the words. No, the actions and the repetition create the words that allow you to deliver the right messages later. So, you know, I, I think a lot of people just have it backwards, dude.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, 100%. Last piece, I want to hit on this real quick because I think this is important. Uh, when he talked about, you know, I don't always live up to the standards I expect from other people. And I remember we were wa- I would, I know exactly where we were doing cardio one day. And it was just me and you talking about the same like topic almost. And I remember asking, I said, Andy, like, you don't, you don't seem to have a problem holding people accountable. Right? And he was like, well, that's because I have no problem holding myself accountable.

• 19:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? So can we, can we, can we touch on it?

• 19:57Andy Frisella?

  Well, I, yeah, I think that's-

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Is it possible to, you, you, you can't do that if you're not holding yourself.

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  Not in a real way.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:03Andy Frisella?

  Not, yeah, I mean, you could boss people around and you can like threaten them and you, and by the way, I used to do that 15 years ago. Right? But if you really want people to follow you voluntarily, which is where the best teams fucking, you know, the national championship teams, the Super Bowl teams, the biggest businesses. These people believe in the vision and they believe in that person. And if you want people to believe in you as a leader, you have to, just like we talk about, leading by example. The example isn't just the standard you live, it's what happens when you don't live the standard. Right? Do you correct it in yourself? Do you take accountability? Can you look your team in the eye and be like, man, we fucking lost and that was my fault?

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:44Andy Frisella?

  You see what I'm saying? Like, bro, there's a lot of times in business where we've lost because it was my fault. And I don't have a problem looking at my team and say, hey, man, you know what, guys? I fucked up. That was my bad. You guys did what the fuck you were supposed to do. I fucked up. And I won't make that mistake again. It's about being accountable to the team. And a lot of people won't do that because they think that it like dilutes. When actually it builds, you know what I mean? They think it dilutes their leadership capital. When in reality, that's what builds leadership capital.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Now, you do it like a thousand times, it might dilute.

• 21:14Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, yeah, then, you know, well, I mean, look, dude, but that goes into the one, that goes into you make the same mistake twice.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:21Andy Frisella?

  You know, so like all of these things fit together like a puzzle.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:25Andy Frisella?

  It's a lifelong journey, man. And, and the fact, I don't, did he say how old he was?

• 21:30Speaker 01

  He thirty-one.

• 21:31Andy Frisella?

  The fact that you're thirty-one and you're acknowledging that you have ways to go as a leader is a really good example. That eventually you're going to be a great leader. You know, so, I mean, dude, look, I, one of the biggest things I, I, like, people always ask, like, what regrets do you have? You know what my biggest regrets are, dude?

• 21:52Andy Frisella?

  Is like, I look back at when I was a bad leader. And I realized that there was a lot of good people that I had, that I was leading, that I failed as a leader, that at the time I thought they failed. And that bothers me. I hate that.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:06Andy Frisella?

  And it's something I live with. Cause you can't go back and fix it. You could only fix it moving forward.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:11Andy Frisella?

  But like, great leaders, bro, they don't, you know, it's like Michael Jordan, you know, he doesn't talk about the championships he won, he thinks about the shots he missed. And great leaders, they don't focus on how great they're doing, they focus on the fucking shit that they fucked up, so they don't do it again. And, um, You know, a lot of people just, I think dude, I think people just have it completely backwards.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love it, dude. I love it. That's real. Let's go, uh, let's go question number two, Andy. Uh, guys, any question number two, Andy, I bought the company I've worked at for the last 12 years.

• 22:43Andy Frisella?

  That's cool.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  It was, yeah, it's pretty cool. Uh, it was exciting at first, but now I catch myself making decisions like an employee instead of an owner. I'm constantly worried about not losing what I've built instead of thinking about how to grow it. Was there a point where your mindset shifted from protecting the business to confidently growing and expanding it? And what triggered that change?

• 23:06Andy Frisella?

  No, I didn't have that because I started the business. I started from zero. So I always had the mentality of growing from the very first day. You bought something that was already going and you have a different perspective than I have. So you're gonna have to shift to the understanding that anything but offense is losing. Okay, anything but offense is losing in business. Okay? You trying to protect your business is like going out and trying to play a football game with only the defense on the field. So you're relying on protecting and then you're relying on the points coming from, uh, you know, interceptions being run back for a touchdown.

• 23:51Andy Frisella?

  And any team that ever did that's gonna lose. So you have to understand there is no maintaining. There is no protecting. The best way to protect what you have is to continue to grow it. The minute you get into that mindset of staying where you are and protecting what you have is the minute you start to lose because everybody else has the mentality of getting better, getting better, getting better, growing, growing, growing. And if you're trying to just stay where you are, then you're, you're moving backwards while they're moving forwards. You're not maintaining. They are, you're moving backwards because you're not innovating. You're not developing, you're not growing, you're not, you know, trying to be aggressive.

• 24:33Andy Frisella?

  And everybody else is. So like, there, you're moving back while they're moving forward. And so, you know, that comes from the place of I purchased this business versus I started the business from scratch. When you start a business from scratch, you're always on offense and that's how your mindset is wired. So you're, there was no, no, there was no pivot for me that said, oh, now I need to go on offense. Like that, I didn't have an option. Okay. But you need to realize as someone who's moving from an entrepreneur to an entrepreneur, that if you only play defense to protect what someone else has built, you're going to lose it anyway.

• 25:13Andy Frisella?

  So you have to be on offense. It's not a choice. Any business that stops innovating, that stops trying to grow, that stops trying to be better, eventually gets swallowed up by the competition. That's reality. That is the life cycle of most businesses. Most businesses, and this is why second generation business owners are far less successful than first generation. A lot of people think it's because they're just gifted the business or whatever, and there's probably something to that. You know, they didn't learn how to work. They didn't learn how to, to build, you know? But the reality, they're spoiled. That's what people say. But the reality isn't that they're spoiled. The reality is, is they just do not understand what it took to build it.

• 25:54Andy Frisella?

  And you can't experience that unless you actually built it. So the second best thing you can do is pretend that you're at zero. Okay. You have a business at zero, no matter what it's doing right now. What are you going to do to get it to 100? What are you going to do to get it to 1,000? That's where your mentality needs to be, or you're going to get fucking destroyed, dude. That's the reality.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Is this a comment, like, like, I've never heard of that being a thing. I mean, is this like a thing that like, I guess, I guess it does happen out there, like employees, like buying the business? Have you seen that a lot?

• 26:29Andy Frisella?

  You mean it's terms of having this problem?

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or just, I mean, this scenario.

• 26:34Andy Frisella?

  This, this scenario usually presents itself when people inherit businesses.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 26:38Andy Frisella?

  Okay. But this guy did inherit business. He just paid money for it.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 26:41Andy Frisella?

  Okay. So you inherited, quote unquote, something that someone else built. So you don't understand what it took to go from zero to where you are. You just don't. All right? So it's a mentality problem.

• 26:55Andy Frisella?

  And the problem is, is that most of these people that get in this position, because they know the business as what it has always been, they think that that was just magically materialized, not understanding what it actually took to get it to that point. And that is that, that's the delta that people have to overcome when they buy businesses. You have a lot of people on the internet right now who are telling everybody to buy fucking businesses, buy businesses, buy businesses. Cool, you could buy all the businesses you want, but that doesn't mean you know how to fucking run them. That didn't mean you know how to grow them. And by the way, just so you know, um, unless you can afford to pay six, seven, eight hundred, a million bucks a year, you're not going to find an effective operator work for you.

• 27:39Andy Frisella?

  You're going to have to fucking know how to do it. That's the reality. So, that's a big problem I have with a lot of people who are saying, oh, just go buy all these businesses. What if you don't know how to run them?

• 27:50Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 27:51Andy Frisella?

  You're just gonna, you're gonna amplify the speed at which you go broke. So you have to understand that the mentality of business is aggressive by default. If you're not aggressive and you're not pushing and you're not trying to win and you're not trying to expand, you are going to lose, period. There's no maintaining, there is no maintaining. There's not a business on this motherfucking planet outside of very few exceptions. Like there, like I'll give you an example. There's a restaurant in New York City called Rouse, okay? Everybody knows Rouse Pasta Sauce, okay? Okay, it's like 10 bucks, alright? The original Rouse in New York City, you cannot get into.

• 28:34Andy Frisella?

  It is the hardest restaurant in the world to get into, you can't get into it. Do you know why you can't get into it? Because all the tables that are in there are owned by New York families. Meaning, that is a table that they actually own, that they dictate who gets to sit at. So there is no way to get a reservation unless you know these people and they invite you in, or they say, hey, you can have my table tonight. That reservation is every single night. Every single night they're open. So you can't get into it, alright? They never changed the menu, they never, that's been going on for decades. That's like the only example I can possibly think of a company that has, and by the way,

• 29:16Andy Frisella?

  it's not even a real one because then they innovated and moved outside of the realm of just the restaurant and use the restaurant to leverage for the demand of their CPG sauce.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:27Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so that's not even a real example, but that's the closest one I could think of. Outside of things like that, there's not a business in this earth that continues to win over and over and over again, that's still around, that doesn't evolve and improve and get better and take competition seriously. This is why I get so irritated with all these fucking idiots on the internet who say it's not about competition. If you're an entrepreneur, it's absolutely about competition. Not only is it about competition, it's the hardest fucking competition that you will ever be in because there is never a time to take a breath. This is why I say all the time, not everybody is wired for that kind of life.

• 30:09Andy Frisella?

  Not everybody wants to wake up every day sweating and knowing that if they fucking take the day off, bro, that the competition's gonna get another step closer to them. They don't want to do that. Okay, they're not built for that. That's a different kind of pressure. It's a different kind of stress. For someone like this who's bought a business, you have to start thinking that you are at zero. You don't have shit. And by the way, you don't have shit because you didn't build it. You didn't build anything. You fucking wrote a check for it. Good for you. That's cool. Now you better get your mind right about what it's gonna take to actually compete or you're gonna get fucking steamrolled. So playing defense and protecting what you have is always a failing strategy. It's always, always, always a failing strategy. Always.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  I love it, man. Guys, Andy, let's get to our third and final question. Question number three. Andy?

• 31:01Speaker 01

  I recently heard someone say that success usually doesn't happen because people aim too high and fail. It happens because they aim too low and succeed. That bothered me because I think there are a lot of people, myself included, who have quietly lowered their expectations over the years. So how do you know if you've become realistic, or if you've just slowly talked yourself out of the life you actually wanted?

• 31:27Andy Frisella?

  Aren't they the same things? Aren't those the same exact thing? Why do you think I get so irritated with people who say, "Realistic goals, realistic goals, realistic goals"? No, it's not about realistic goals. Because the minute you hit it, you celebrate, and you never stop celebrating, and you end up losing by default. Okay, so you have to understand, for you to win long-term, you have to have massive goals, because that's the nature of achievement. You get better, you get better, you get better, you get better, you get better, you get better, chasing this massive goal, and eventually, you become the kind of person that can repeat that process infinitely, because you've been pursuing greatness in yourself and your abilities and your skill sets for so long. So this whole idea of setting

• 32:10Andy Frisella?

  realistic goals, and then achieving them, and that being the reason that people lose, is a real thing. Most people severely underestimate what they're actually capable of, whether it be because their parents told them shit, or their teachers told them shit, or they've never observed someone actually being successful in their entire life. They never came from a place where they could like see someone from their neighborhood that did the thing. But I assure you, there are millions of people out there who have way, way, way more difficult circumstances than you, that have achieved far more than you are possibly even dreaming at this moment. So why the fuck not you? Okay? Most people think too small. That's their entire problem. They don't think outside what

• 32:54Andy Frisella?

  they've observed in real life, right?

• 32:58Andy Frisella?

  They don't know a person, they don't know a neighbor, they don't know a cousin, they don't know of anybody who's actually done this. So they make, it makes them think, oh, I can't do that either. Or they live in a household where their fucking parents come home and they're like, you'll be lucky to do this, you know, or you'll be lucky to get to here, you know, uh, dude, that's for people that cheat and lie and steal. And they tell them all this shit and fill their head with this bullshit to compensate for their own shortcomings, which ends up ruining, ruining their own kids. Okay. And then you have moms who will tell you to be realistic because they don't want their kid to get hurt. Look dude, if you want your kid to actually win, your kid's gonna get fucking hurt. That's reality. That's how it works. So yeah, I agree with this a hundred

• 33:38Andy Frisella?

  percent. Setting goals that are too small creates more losers than really anything else. And it comes from a place of people not truly believing that they are capable of doing something great, which bro, every single person that's ever done anything great, they breathe like you, they bleed like you, they feel pain like you, these are not superhuman individuals. These are people who, like we said originally, refuse to quit, they are consistently committed to improving, and they're intelligent enough to not make the same mistakes twice. That's it.

• 34:20Andy Frisella?

  That's what they do. And yes, are there very smart people that are much smarter than you? Yeah. Okay. But that doesn't mean that you can't win too. Maybe you're not gonna be Elon Musk and, and figure out how to catch a fucking rocket with, with chopsticks. Okay. But that doesn't mean that you can't become tremendously more successful than anybody else that you've ever met. Okay. But it starts with that belief. You have to understand that all these people.

• 34:48Andy Frisella?

  Are just like you. They're exactly like you, dude. They eat food, it upsets their stomach. They get sick. Okay, um, they get diarrhea, they shit their pants a little bit and they're like, I'm gonna change their underwear. Like all this fucking shit that happens to you, happens to them. So like, what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? Why don't you believe in yourself enough to create greatness, dude? There's so many examples and we live in a time and age where so many people that are real are observable. If you know how to identify the difference between the real and the fake, that you should believe in yourself enough to know that you could accomplish literally anything. It is literally math. Okay, it is not magic.

• 35:28Andy Frisella?

  It's you win today, you win tomorrow, you win the next day, you win the day after that, you win the day after that. That shit all compounds, just like a score would compound. How many days have you won versus how many days have you lost? It's a mathematical equation and when you remove the magic from it and just accept it for what it is, it, winning becomes really fucking easy and if you do it long enough, it becomes automatic. It's not something you strive to be. It's not something you aspire to be. It's who the fuck you are when you've done it long enough. Like when I start something new, dude, there, at this point in my life, there's not a fucking inch of doubt inside of me that we're gonna win.

• 36:10Andy Frisella?

  Now, how long it takes to win or what it's gonna be required to produce that outcome, that might be up for debate.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, plus or minus.

• 36:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like, you know, but I know that it can be done.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:23Andy Frisella?

  And you, if you don't have that belief in yourself to start, then you shouldn't start. You just shouldn't because you're, you're, you're gonna get one or two steps down the road. You're gonna get punched in the face and you're gonna say, oh man, everybody was right. You know, and that's why I talk about the dark side energy being so valuable, especially in the beginning years, where you have a little bit of fuck you in you, so that when you do stumble because you're gonna, and when you do make mistakes because you're gonna, and everybody's gonna laugh at you, and they will, you're able to be like, hey, fuck you, man. I'm gonna fucking show you motherfuckers what the fuck I'm capable of. And you continue to go. I do not know a single successful entrepreneur that does not have

• 37:03Andy Frisella?

  the fuck you in their heart. They may pretend they don't. They may act like they don't. They may smile and be all positive all the time, but I can promise you when you get in behind closed doors and you find out what really makes them tick, they got a whole lot of fuck you inside of them. And you gotta have that. You gotta be willing to look at people that laugh at you and be like, hey, man, fuck you. Now, you don't have to say it, but if you don't think it, you shouldn't even go.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  But that limited belief is so crazy. What's that saying about like the best ideas or the most amount of best ideas or something like that?

• 37:36Andy Frisella?

  In the graveyard.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  In the graveyard.

• 37:38Andy Frisella?

  That's right, because people lacked enough belief to understand

• 37:46Andy Frisella?

  that they are capable of creating greatness.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:48Andy Frisella?

  Because of their environment that they they've been surrounded by. Most of you guys are surrounded by fucking losers. Okay, that's the truth. Most people are surrounded by people who are fucking losing. I'm not saying that to like make fun of people. I'm saying that as a factual statement. You are surrounded by people who have not done anything but lost. So why the fuck would they believe in you when you haven't given them a reason to believe that anything else is even possible? And that's where the obligation comes in. That's where like when we talk about this bigger picture mission of actually changing what's going on in this country and in the world comes from. Because if people don't see someone that they know, they continue to believe

• 38:31Andy Frisella?

  that losing is the only real option that they have. Okay, so it's up to you if you truly want to fix things and you actually want to make a difference and you actually want the country to be better, not just go online and talk about it and make content about it and talk shit. I mean, how many motherfuckers do we have that talk all this shit about America? And then you look at their lives and it's like, bro, You're not even living the standard that you want to see out here in the world, which is a fucking age old saying from Gandhi, right? Be the change you wish to see. And so when you understand that your role and that ambition and that drive and that dream that has been placed in your heart by God is meant for you to achieve so that

• 39:15Andy Frisella?

  you can inspire other people to their own greatness, it changes the fucking way you think. Okay, now you understand it's not just about you, it's about everybody that's ever known you. It's about everybody that ever will know you. It's about your kids, it's about your neighbors, it's about your community. And when you become the motherfucker that won or is winning, that inspires them to do better. Okay, you may never see that, you may never have people come up to you and be like, "Hey, man, you really inspired me." But I promise you, that's how change works. And if we truly want to get away from these tyrants oppressing and taking our freedoms away, the only way to do it is through cultural change and personal excellence, and that starts with the individual. We will never fix this country, never in a million motherfucking years through just

• 40:00Andy Frisella?

  politics. It won't happen. It has to happen at the individual level, and that starts with people understanding that they have a duty and obligation to become what it is that they know they could be and should be and want to be. That little vision that lives inside of you that you're too afraid to tell anybody about because you're afraid to be laughed at, that's the fucking mountain you're supposed to overcome while you're on this earth. That is what you're supposed to do. And if you don't do it, you fucking failed your life. That's the truth. And you can listen to everybody and they can say, "Well, that's not what life's about." It's not all life's about, there's other things that life matters about, but that's a big motherfucking part of it. It's like when people say, "Oh, well, money's not important." Oh, it's not?

• 40:44Andy Frisella?

  I never heard somebody that had more money that said it was a fucking problem.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 40:48Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like, the only people that say that shit are people with no money. So you gotta realize, dude, if you're in a situation where you're surrounded by people with all they've done is lost, why the fuck are they gonna believe in you? Your job is to show them what winning looks like so that they will stop believing that and start to question their own reality, become better themselves. That's what cultural change is all about.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro. Fuck, man. Oh, brother. That was three.

• 41:15Andy Frisella?

  Yep. Alright, dude, let's get out there, let's kick some ass. See you guys this week. Don't be a hoe.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Check the show.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Went from sleepin' on the floor, Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, Counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole, Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, dust a note, Headshot, case closed.