221 Why We Are Sick and Tired & How To Fix It with Jackie Warner

"When in doubt, go work out." - Jackie Warner If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video and more at http://lewishowes.com/221. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 221 with New York Times bestselling author Jackie Warner.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to the podcast. Very excited about today's guest. Her name is Jackie Warner and she's best known as the star of Bravo's Workout and Intervention. Jackie is the author of two New York Times bestselling books, has starred in five bestselling DVDs and has a successful product line. Jackie is one of the country's most popular and well-known fitness trainers. And in this episode, we don't hold anything back. That's right. My fellow Ohioan and I dive in deep about her journey to really what it was like moving out here, starting from scratch,

• 1:10Lewis Howes?

  becoming a millionaire at an early age, and then losing it all, and then starting again, getting into the fitness world, what it was like launching a TV show with Bravo early on before they were really doing reality shows, what it did for her life, the challenges it caused, and what she's done since then. So I think you guys are going to enjoy this, especially if you ever watched the show called Workout. I think you're going to really enjoy understanding and tapping into the mind of Jackie Warner. Now let's go ahead and dive into this episode with the talented, the lovely, the wise, the fellow Ohioan and the one and only Jackie Warner.

• 1:51Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone back to the School of Greatness podcast. Very excited about our guest today. Her name is Jackie Warner and she's got a new book out. Make sure to check this out. We'll have it all linked up back at the show notes. It's called This Is Why You're Sick and Tired and How to Look and Feel Amazing. I'm very excited to have you.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Doesn't it look like a soccer mom in this photo? Look at that. Look at that. Look, I look like such a soccer mom in that photo.

• 2:13Lewis Howes?

  Glowing. And we have a couple of things in common that I want to talk about before we dive into some questions.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:20Lewis Howes?

  One is for both from Ohio.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:22Lewis Howes?

  So, high five.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  High five to Ohio.

• 2:24Lewis Howes?

  To Ohio.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  That's definitely, you've got a different type of personality when you're from Ohio or the Midwest. Yes, you do.

• 2:29Lewis Howes?

  Right when you walked in here, I gave you a hug and you're like, okay, yeah, we're doing this. I'm from Ohio, so we have to.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, we, I'd forgotten. It's been 23 years that I've been out here in LA. Like, I've lived in LA longer than I lived in Ohio.

• 2:41Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, can you believe that?

• 2:42Lewis Howes?

  When did you move?

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I, like, my freshman year.

• 2:45Lewis Howes?

  In high school?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  At college.

• 2:46Lewis Howes?

  College, okay.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, thanks for not.

• 2:48Lewis Howes?

  Freshman year of high school.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. But, um, no, I, I definitely came out here for college and I just ended up staying out here. I love it. You can reinvent yourself over and over. You can fail and pick yourself up over and over in LA and you can't do that anywhere else in this, in my opinion, world, more than you can in this town.

• 3:06Lewis Howes?

  You can't do it in the same city anywhere else. You could go move from like Columbus to Chicago and go there. But you can't be in a small town, Ohio.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:13Lewis Howes?

  Reinvent yourself.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  It's pretty challenging. Everyone knows everything there. But it's true about being in LA. I lived in New York a little bit and it's true about that there too, I think.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. Thank goodness, because I got accepted to a school here and I applied to school in New York and thank goodness that LA accepted me because. No. And, um, because New York would have, now that I go back and forth to New York like once a month or so, New York would have eaten me alive. I would not have had success in New York like I did in LA. Yeah.

• 3:44Lewis Howes?

  You seem like you're just in control though. You would just like crush that city.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  No, I would not crush it. I would not crush it. I hate to say that. It's so weird because when I go there now and do like media or some sort of business opportunity or what have you, I'm even thinking about opening a gym there. But, um, when I do that, I still feel overwhelmed by the city.

• 4:05Lewis Howes?

  Really? Why?

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I'm a country girl at heart. I like green. I like a lot of nature. I live in Laurel Canyon and that is very nature. You know, I've got yard with tons of like animals and stuff in it.

• 4:17Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. And mountains to look at. Yeah, exactly.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  I can't drink this water with my gun. No, I'm not going to try it. It's going to be a disaster. I can feel it. Anyway.

• 4:24Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so that's one thing we have in common, so I'm very grateful to be with another fellow Ohioan.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  And, um, what part of Ohio?

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Fairborn.

• 4:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, so where is that exactly?

• 4:32Speaker 01

  It's, uh, right path Air Force Base is there, so it's a big Air Force, um, town. And it's about thirty minutes outside of Dayton, so it's a suburb of Dayton, Ohio.

• 4:42Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow, yeah, so I'm from-

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Dayton, I call like the ugliest city in the world.

• 4:46Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty ugly, yeah. I'm from near Columbus, Delaware, Ohio, if you've ever heard of Delaware.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  I've never. Is that northern?

• 4:51Lewis Howes?

  It's north, about twenty miles north of Columbus.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  I never went north. Isn't that so strange? Growing up in high school, we never actually left, we never went out of the thirty mile radius.

• 5:02Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  My entire-

• 5:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  -life growing up in high school.

• 5:05Lewis Howes?

  You just got in trouble in your backyard.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  We got in trouble right in the backyard, like in the cornfields. You know, at the working moms' houses, things like that.

• 5:13Lewis Howes?

  What was the craziest thing you did in Ohio when you lived there?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  What is the craziest thing I did? You know, it's so funny because I, I like to kinda act like I'm a bad girl, but when I compare stories with other girls-

• 5:25Lewis Howes?

  They're like, "That's nothing."

• 5:26Speaker 01

  They're like, "What are you talking about?" Like, I snuck out maybe like twice in my entire high school. And I thought, "Oh, I'm so bad," but I went to like a, a, a club that was for underage people. So I didn't even go to like a drinking club.

• 5:39Lewis Howes?

  You didn't have to fake ID.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Actually, no, one time, I know what, I know I did something kinda bad. One time I, um, went out a- a- and, um, I can't remember who I was with, but we ended up like, um, befriending a cop.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  And the cop took us to bars and let us drink all night.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  The cop did? When you're however you were?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Cops in Ohio are a lot cooler than they are here. And so, literally, it was a woman, so go figure, yeah. And she, uh, like, just took us around in her cop car and we went club hopping with the cop.

• 6:11Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  And I got in everywhere, I was like sixteen.

• 6:14Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  That's not a bad story.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty cool.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, so little things like that.

• 6:18Lewis Howes?

  That's a fun little Ohio story, yeah, I like it. So that's one thing we have in common. Something else is, we both were on a Bravo show.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 6:25Lewis Howes?

  I was on a show for four episodes I'm not really proud of. It was called Misadvised. It was around for one season.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. My friend produced that. Isn't that Michaeline Babbage? I call her the dark horse.

• 6:38Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  She's very dark. She's very intense.

• 6:40Lewis Howes?

  She was intense.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  And Michaeline executive produced Intervention, which was on Bravo.

• 6:45Lewis Howes?

  That was 2010?

• 6:46Speaker 01

  And that was, I think, 2010. And I gotta tell you, she's just got a dark perspective. And I was in watching your edits. I helped in the editing bay as a friend to her. And I actually was giving notes on your edits. Aha.

• 7:02Lewis Howes?

  Do you remember any of your chats?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  No, I don't because I've seen so, yeah, I've seen so many shows and stuff.

• 7:08Lewis Howes?

  It was tense. I'll tell you what. So I could appreciate, I saw, obviously, some of your episodes back in, what was that, 2008, 2007?

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Probably Workout.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, Workout.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're talking about Workout.

• 7:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, Workout. Because it was huge then. It was like when Bravo was really...

• 7:20Speaker 01

  It was big.

• 7:21Lewis Howes?

  Because Bravo wasn't doing that much then.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Well, they had Project Runway, they had Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, they had Blowout, and then Workout.

• 7:30Lewis Howes?

  But it was like, yeah, you four or five. It wasn't like 50 shows they have now or whatever. And you were, it was like huge then, I remember.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was. It was a, it was a very successful show.

• 7:40Lewis Howes?

  It was massive.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  And the reason we didn't go to a fourth season when I pitched it to them is because in Workout, you had to have, of course, drama, I mean, fitness, but there had to be a lot of drama.

• 7:51Lewis Howes?

  A lot.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  In my personal life, like you're sitting with...

• 7:54Lewis Howes?

  And that's not fun.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  And it, it got to the point where I just got too healthy for it. You know, I broke up with the train wreck girlfriend. And I, and I cut some ties with some other people. And I fired some people from the show, which was a big drama, cast members from the show. And I fired them.

• 8:11Lewis Howes?

  Who were dramatic and not bringing, adding value to your life, probably, right?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Right. That they were just trying, what they would do is they would, um, they would create things that wouldn't happen, and they would create drama on camera and ambush me. Hell, no, you're not gonna do that to me.

• 8:25Lewis Howes?

  On camera.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  On camera. So, for instance, things that would happen behind the scenes, like a conversation we would have, then they'd ambush me on camera, which is really unprofessional.

• 8:34Lewis Howes?

  They wouldn't just talk to you one-on-one first.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  No, no, no. They wouldn't even do any of that. They would just create a drama that didn't even exist, and then ambush me, and then the cameras would roll to see what my impression was. Well, my impression is like, get the hell out of my office, you're fired.

• 8:49Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  If you're gonna ambush me on my own show, you're fired.

• 8:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's not cool.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  No. You gotta keep it professional.

• 8:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  So you probably know all the reality tricks.

• 8:56Lewis Howes?

  Of course. I remember, I mean, doing it... You know, for a month, my friend was like one of the stars in the show and she asked me to come on to be there one night for her. She was like, it'll be great for you, this and that for your brand. So I went on. And then the producers, it wasn't, uh, what's her name, Michaeline?

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, Michaeline.

• 9:11Lewis Howes?

  It wasn't, she wasn't there. It was another producer there who was like, we want to have you come back on. Will you like take this girl out on a date and we love you, blah, blah, blah. And for like a month and a half, I was torn to go back on. Cause I was just like, I don't know if I feel good about this.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  You weren't feeling right.

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  I was not feeling good at all.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:26Lewis Howes?

  And, uh,

• 9:27Speaker 01

  But you're never gonna feel good doing your own reality show or any kind of reality show.

• 9:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a,

• 9:32Lewis Howes?

  It's an uncomfortable experience.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  It's a very uncomfortable experience when you've got, um, people that are working on the show whose only job is to tear you down and then build you up like every episode.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  You know?

• 9:47Lewis Howes?

  Cause that's what makes it interesting.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Of course. Here's the thing. We don't want just a full hero. And thin intervention, I'll give you an example. Our numbers, we were the highest rated on Monday night and then our numbers started dropping, right? And that's because it was such a healthy and, and positive show. It was not what the Bravo market desires now.

• 10:06Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Which is cattier and a little bit meaner. Um, and so it was such a positive, like fitness base. We had like, um, in gym fitness and then a beautiful outdoor fitness in every episode. And people just didn't embrace it because it was just too healthy.

• 10:19Lewis Howes?

  Should've been on the Oprah channel.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Right. It should've been on the Oprah channel.

• 10:22Lewis Howes?

  Which now they're doing even more catty stuff to get ratings up.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Listen, you can't do, I've got a show that I'm working on right now and the deal is, is you can't do a show that is positive. You have to have drama coming from somewhere. If it's not coming from me, if I'm not a train wreck, which I'm not, I'm very healthy and positive, then it has to come from other cast members or embedded in the content of the story. It's, it's a tricky game, which has taken me so long to sell a show because it is so hard to sell a show that your heart just doesn't feel right about.

• 11:02Lewis Howes?

  If I look at like The Biggest Loser, it seems like that's, everyone's a hero there, right? But there's still drama with the trainers and with, you know, the, you know, personalities, I guess.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Right. Everyone's a hero, but there's a couple of reasons why Biggest Loser, which is not doing as well now, but why it had such a good long haul. And one is because people want to see the circus kind of environment of morbidly obese people. We're talking about 300, 400 pounds overweight, crying and getting cursed at and spitting up in a bucket, on a treadmill and being run to death and then being in like little booty shorts and a sports bra and a bouncy house. I think that's the last episode I finally was like, I can't take it anymore. And, um, but they want to see that kind of circus environment, number one. Number two, the casting of the contestants was so amazing. Their stories were so powerful.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Look, you don't get to that level of addiction because being morbidly obese means that you're full on in your addiction.

• 11:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  You don't get that, to that level of addiction unless you've got something extremely powerful going on in your personal life. Or that you have been just slipped off track, a death, a disease, something, you know?

• 12:13Lewis Howes?

  What do you find is the most common theme for people who are addicted who get overweight? What is the emotional barrier or the traumatic thing that happens to them? Or what is that quality that keeps them addicted and stuck?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  We looked at that in intervention. We had therapy and fifth intervention at the end of every episode. And it was kind of crazy and I'm the one that actually told them this was true from my years of owning gyms and talking to clients in a personal way. Um, but it usually comes from one trigger to it in childhood. So there has been one traumatic, whether it be a divorce or something more heinous such as like molestation. But there's one trigger of it in childhood that, that makes that child or that, in those formative years, or maybe that teen, um, start looking at food for serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the three chemicals in our brain that make us feel happy and good.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Alcohol releases that, nicotine releases that, coffee releases that, fattening foods and sugar release that. So, you know, that's when addictive behaviors start coming out is in dealing, trying to deal with that.

• 13:19Lewis Howes?

  Okay. What about on the other side of the coin where people are addicted to working out? Is there a similar type of? Trace back from childhood, why they're so driven.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Trainers are heal, get into, okay, you become a personal trainer because you first heal yourself. So at first, what you've done, if you've said, well, this is a crazy hot mess. This is not working in my life, right? That's what you do. And you say, this isn't going to work. I'm not going to have success like this. I'm, you know, I'm, I'm off track. Whether I'm doing this, this or that, or I don't feel good about my body, or I'm overeating, whatever it may be. So trainers self heal first and they say, wow, there's something to this because yeah, exercise does release all three of those feel good chemicals strongly.

• 14:03Lewis Howes?

  You know, you don't need the foods.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:05Lewis Howes?

  You can do it.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  You can do the exercise. I always say, um, when in doubt, go work out.

• 14:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  So when in doubt in your life, when I've gone through the worst trials and tribulations, when life just hits me really, really hard. That's when I really throw myself into my workout, myself into my workouts. Because I know when in doubt, go work out and I know it's going to give me that healthy lifting up feeling that I desire. Rather than say, go and have drinks every night with friends, which is not healthy. That's just not a good way to live.

• 14:37Lewis Howes?

  It gives you a lot more clarity too. When you get, when you sweat and you work that hard, you can usually release a lot of the negative emotions.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can.

• 14:43Lewis Howes?

  And get clear on what is it I really want in my life moving forward.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  All I do during my workouts is fantasize about all I want. So all I do during my workouts, whether I take a spinning class or I'm not boxing, boxing is too strenuous. All you're trying to do is stay alive. I, cause I, I'm into Muay Thai and Muay Thai is, yeah, I love Muay Thai. I'm a big fan. I'm on, I'm at like level three right now, but I was at level four, so I want to get back up to level four. But anyway, um, so you're just trying to survive in Muay Thai.

• 15:12Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  There's no, yeah, you're just trying to breathe and like most of the time I'm like, you know, in between, I'm just like looking down at the ground and my, um, my coach is like, what's down there? Who are you talking to down there? Like a little people? What's happening? So that kicks my butt more than any routine, but I kick my own butt in the gym. So I'll do like, for instance, I'm trying to drop, I've got a photo shoot in 30 days. I'm trying to drop seven pounds of fat, which is going to be insane.

• 15:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  And I'm trying to put on five pounds of muscle. So I'm trying to completely change my, my body in 30 days, which I'm used to doing. But as I'm getting older, it's getting harder and harder.

• 15:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I mean, I'm thirty-two now, and when I hit thirty, I remember feeling like, man, I'm just getting a lot more injuries and it's harder to recover.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Are you? Yeah. Yeah, I'm so lucky that I I've never been injured.

• 16:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  In all my training, I've never been injured, and I've done some crazy stuff.

• 16:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I used to play professional football, so I broke my wrist and, you know, had surgeries and everything.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Well, that's why, because you you already primed

• 16:15Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  your body with professional football, and then you go to the weights and it's like, what?

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's not good.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:21Lewis Howes?

  So you moved out here when you were a freshman, and then you start, I think I was ready, you started your first business when you were twenty-one, is that right?

• 16:27Speaker 01

  I did, yeah. I got really, I was at the right place, right time.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  After school, I decided that I, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I kind of drifted. I went to fashion design illustrating school. So my background is art. So I was like, oh, my gosh, this industry is so shallow. I have no desire to be in this industry. So I started drifting from job to job.

• 16:51Lewis Howes?

  You worked at Warner Brothers for a little bit, right?

• 16:53Speaker 01

  I worked at Warner Brothers when I was thirty, yeah, and I was hardcore at Warner Brothers for five years.

• 16:57Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  So, but, so I kind of drifted from job to job. I sold aluminum siding for Sears. I worked in a boiler room, like a really intense, like, telemarketing room. Yeah, I did a lot of different things. And I realized, wow, I'm really good at sales. This is where I seem to go from here to here in sales, no matter what I do.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  Get results.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I get good results. I was making a good living, but I didn't want to obviously sell aluminum siding siding for the rest of my life. But, so I started working in a cellular company, and this is like a long time ago when cell phones were just starting.

• 17:30Lewis Howes?

  Like nineteen ninety-seven through ninety-nine?

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the big transformer phones that you would have like in the car and you'd carry around it, look like luggage, and then the big Motorola.

• 17:39Lewis Howes?

  Way back, okay.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Like the big Motorola.

• 17:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  We used to call it the brick phone. And, and so I worked in sales, and there was another woman that worked in sales with me, we'll say girl, because I was young, and we were the top salespeople in our company, and our boss was a jerk and didn't treat us well, and he didn't promote us from within. So we just said, we could do this. So we didn't have any money, so we started, we rented our own fax machine, our own phones, and a little office at the Sahi Building, which is on Wilshire, for two hundred bucks a month. That's all we could afford.

• 18:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  And I started cold calling corporations, cold calling, pretending that we had a whole store. Within six months, we'd moved into a storefront and I had 60 employees.

• 18:21Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Within a year, I was a millionaire.

• 18:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  So it was a good.

• 18:24Lewis Howes?

  Selling cellular phones?

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was such an incredible business back then.

• 18:28Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  And there were only two carriers back then. And you could flip them back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and they could still retain their number between carriers. Not to get too boring, like who cares about this? But, um, you know. No, but that's how I made my money. And I really was able to just kind of like live off my funds for quite a while.

• 18:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay. So when did you realize that you don't want to sell phones anymore? And what was the next thing?

• 18:54Speaker 01

  I wanted to get in the entertainment industry. And.

• 18:56Lewis Howes?

  And acts or?

• 18:57Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, acting, absolutely not. Um, I just wanted to do something like write or produce or something creative in the entertainment industry.

• 19:05Lewis Howes?

  Cause you're an artist at heart.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Right. I am an artist at heart. And so I, um, I, all my friends were in the entertainment industry. And they were like production coordinators, production managers, things like that, working on video shoots. And I thought, how exciting would it be to work like with this rocker band or this band? So, um, I, my first job was working as an assistant, which is as low as you can get. It's worse than a P A, but an assistant audience coordinator for the Susan Powder Show. Some of your viewers might remember Susan Powder. She was a relevant fitness expert back in the early nineties.

• 19:36Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  And she wrote a book called Stop the Insanity.

• 19:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:40Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  And, um, she had a show. She had her own daytime talk show. And so I worked on that show, booking her audience. And I didn't need the money because I was still, you know, flush with cash. So I did it for fun.

• 19:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  And ended up working my way up there and then moving over to Warner Brothers and getting in their writers department. So.

• 19:58Lewis Howes?

  Okay. And were you writing TV shows or movies or?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  I started as an executive assistant. And then I moved to a writer's assistant, which is a really good gig, if anybody knows that. And then I moved to a script coordinator. And then I sold one script and at 30, I said, I don't want to do this. And I was heavy into bodybuilding at the time. And it like really transformed my body and changed my life. And I was taking friends as clients and I was like, God, I really have a knack for this. Like I'm not just changing their bodies, but I'm changing the whole trajectory of their lives. So then I got addicted.

• 20:30Lewis Howes?

  Their health, everything.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  I got addicted. When I can come into somebody's life and just completely. Giving them the kind of life coaching and the kind of feeling that they need to move upwards. That is so addictive, I can't tell you, and I still love it. I still love doing it.

• 20:46Lewis Howes?

  What is it you love the most about working with a client or a group of people? What is the thing that you're talking about right now that you love?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  I, I think what it is, is I just love the fact that they see something in themselves that perhaps they've never seen before. Something positive in themselves, something greater, something stronger, something more warrior-ish, you know? So, things maybe that were holding them back in their jobs as parents, as partners. Confidence, we're talking about confidence, you know, I mean, working out and doing what I do is we build confidence. You know, that's what my job is, is to take a person and completely break them down and build them up so that they're a confident person that lights up a room, you know, I teach how to have charisma.

• 21:36Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  You know, this world, you need to have charisma.

• 21:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  As much as you can, it just gives you such a benefit.

• 21:41Lewis Howes?

  Such an advantage.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does.

• 21:43Lewis Howes?

  Now, what's the thing that holds people back the most? Is it fear, is it worthiness, is it, or is it just an addictive personality that holds them back from transforming their lifestyle? To one, getting fit and then staying fit?

• 21:57Speaker 01

  I think it is an addictive lifestyle, but addiction comes from low self-esteem more than anything. I kind of go against what AAT teaches and focus less on chemical addictions that you're born with as a disease and focus on what is kind of developed within you emotionally and the crutches that you choose in life to use. And I like to deal kind of with addiction on that level. And so, I think it's people have, I, I think an enormous amount of Americans, and I don't see this in Europe as much, have low self-esteem.

• 22:32Lewis Howes?

  Why is that, you think?

• 22:33Speaker 01

  I think. I think our hyper vigilance with beauty and looks and youth and sexuality in this country, maybe one, like if you go to Brazil, for instance, I dated a Brazilian for five and a half years. I know a lot about Brazil and if you go to Brazil, the women, they don't wear makeup. They walk around during the day.

• 22:54Lewis Howes?

  It's their natural beauty.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  They're natural beauties and, and even if they're not natural beauties, not everybody can be beautiful, but even if they're not natural beauties, they still have no makeup on and they still walk because they're confident about their sensuality. They know that it's more than just physical beauty in your face, that it's about how you carry yourself and the women there are confident in all body styles and shapes.

• 23:18Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  And that's what's different about America is that we have sort of a, a, an identity of what is beautiful and what is sensual, because if you're sexy, you don't need to be beautiful. Sexiness, but so trumps beauty, it's crazy, you know? Um, and so we kind of have like these really high ideals of what's sensual and what's beautiful and we shouldn't.

• 23:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, okay. What do you think are maybe two or three ways that we can apply something to our, our daily lives right now to increase our confidence and to increase this self-esteem that we're lacking in general?

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:54Lewis Howes?

  Couple of things that you teach that we could just do at home or at the gym?

• 23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:57Lewis Howes?

  What are those?

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Self-esteem comes from setting a small goal for yourself and achieving at the end of each day. So it's really important to have goals for yourself, you know? And so one small goal can be like, I'm going to drink three liters of water today. And now we know that three liters of water is a sweet spot and then it speeds up your metabolism by about 33%. That's very significant in terms of weight loss.

• 24:18Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  So.

• 24:19Lewis Howes?

  Three liters of water.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Three liters of water. So now we can say, okay, I'm going to just make sure that when I go to work or wherever I am, I just always have water and I'm going to drink three liters a day. At the end of the day, if you achieve that, you build self-esteem because you did something positive for yourself. At the end of the day, if you didn't achieve that, what do you think that does? It breaks down your self-esteem because you couldn't even keep a small goal.

• 24:40Lewis Howes?

  So what happens when we don't keep our goals? When we say, I'm committing to the new year.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Keep our goals, then we tend to go towards crutches such as social media to get attention such as technology and things like that, such as food, alcohol, cigarettes, weed. Then that's what happens when we don't have that strong self esteem esteem from just keeping simple goals. So for instance, simple goal is I'm going to move my body intensely for 20 minutes a day. I mean Harvard did a study and said three times a week is not enough. That it takes five to six times a week, which I always knew.

• 25:13Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  I trained six days a week.

• 25:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  And have for my entire life.

• 25:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  And I do that because I love what it releases in my brain. And you know, like you said, clarity. But um, I also do it so it balances my sleep patterns.

• 25:26Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  You know, because I have problems with sleep.

• 25:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and working out is the best thing to put you to sleep.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  And my gosh.

• 25:32Lewis Howes?

  If you don't work out, you're up all night still.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  That's right. You're up and your mind is active all night and you just don't have that like again, dopamine, which is the biggest sleep aid that you can have in melatonin, but um, you know.

• 25:42Lewis Howes?

  And how important is sleep for our health? I've talked about this long.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Sleep is so critical for health.

• 25:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  And there are things that you know, you can do and can't do. Number one is you have to kick all your pets out of the bed. And I know dog lovers don't like to hear that.

• 25:55Lewis Howes?

  No pets.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  No pets in the bed because they mess up your sleep cycles.

• 25:58Lewis Howes?

  What if it's just a cat with the feet?

• 26:00Speaker 01

  You're not supposed to sleep with your pets.

• 26:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow, no pets.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  No pets. I know.

• 26:04Lewis Howes?

  That means no phones too, if that's a pet.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  And that means no phones. So my phone, my phone stays on vibrate all the way on the other side of my house. So my bedroom is on one side of my home. And my living room is on another and my phone at 10 o'clock at night gets plugged into my computer and it stays over there and I will not hear it or even acknowledge it in the middle of the night.

• 26:27Lewis Howes?

  But if it's by your head and you have it on silent, you still have that crutch.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Don't use your phone as your alarm. Go old school and just get an alarm clock and put your phone away. I know this is not popular because people are so addicted to their phones. And I was actually talking to a friend of mine and she said that sometimes at three o'clock in the morning when she can't sleep, she gets on her phone and looks at Instagram. That's the worst thing to do.

• 26:51Lewis Howes?

  I've been guilty of that for sure.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. See, you do it as well and a lot of people do it, but if you're really trying to get. Say on sleep, or if you feel sleep deprived, remember, certain hormones are released when you get REM sleep. And one is testosterone, which is a youth hormone, and also HGH, which is a youth hormone. So HGH is human growth hormone. And these are released during your REM sleep. If you're not getting that REM sleep, then you're not releasing those good hormones. You're actually releasing one of the fat gaining hormone, and that's cortisol. And you don't want to release cortisol in the middle of the night.

• 27:28Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. What are some other tips for sleeping besides getting rid of electronics and pets?

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Eat fat, like, good fats right before bed. So, for instance, yeah, every night, like I told you, I'm training for something, okay? So every night, so I'm hungry.

• 27:42Lewis Howes?

  You're looking fit.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  I'm actually, I've never been heavier in my life.

• 27:45Lewis Howes?

  Really? You look great.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Thank you. I feel good, but what happens is like your face fills out when you gain weight, but you know, so is your ass. And, um, so basically, I've got like my fitness goal and everything, and I'm eating more calories because I'm hungrier. So around 10 o'clock or so, I make myself a piece of salmon.

• 28:04Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  So the good-

• 28:06Lewis Howes?

  10 o'clock?

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. So fats in salmon, in particular, are really, really release the most dopamine in your brain right before bed.

• 28:14Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  So just like a nice source of protein, like even a low-fat cottage cheese, which has casein in it, which is a natural relaxant, you know?

• 28:23Lewis Howes?

  What's the latest we should eat before we sleep?

• 28:25Speaker 01

  As long as you're eating the right things, like the two things I just described to you, it's fine.

• 28:29Lewis Howes?

  Like an hour before is fine?

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 28:31Lewis Howes?

  Even 30 minutes before?

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 28:33Lewis Howes?

  Really? Okay.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter.

• 28:36Lewis Howes?

  Because there's different trains of thoughts from all these, you know, health experts.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Fruit is not such a good idea because of high sugar. So fruit has fructose, and depending on what kind of fruit you eat, like a banana is higher in sugar than, say, a citrus, you know? But fruit is not such a great thing right before bed. But if you have a protein source before bed, then you're pretty much fine. If you have a healthy fat source, if you wanted half an avocado and eat half an avocado, that would be a really great-

• 28:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  -sleep aid as well.

• 29:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay. I want to transition back into the show a little bit on how you got the show, the first show workout.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:07Lewis Howes?

  And did you have a game plan getting on the show?

• 29:11Speaker 01

  If anything has fallen into my, there's a lot of things in my life that fall into my lap and it's kind of hilarious. But um, I, it's like I rarely go searching for things. Usually they just kind of find me. And um, if anything in my entire career has fallen into my lap, it was a workout.

• 29:28Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  So I'll give you an example of what happened. I had this beautiful world-class gym and medical.

• 29:35Lewis Howes?

  Beverly Hills, right?

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, in Beverly Hills.

• 29:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  In the penthouse, glass and closed, and it was also a medical group. So I had doctors and chiropractors and um, everybody working for me in that medical group.

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  And top athletes would come and train.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Top athletes, top celebrities, like everybody from Paul McCartney to Anne Hathaway, everybody trained there. And so we had like, and, and the best trainers, like the most elite group of trainers. And um, so one, a executive producer came and she said, I want to shoot a show in your gym. Will you negotiate the fee? So we used to do shoots up there all the time because it had a beautiful view of the city. So we were talking and she kind of got a glimmer in her eye and she's like, you know what? You've got a pretty bold personality.

• 30:23Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Can I just shoot some footage on you and let's pitch that to Bravo and see what they say? So she followed me around with a little handycam. I mean, I did my own makeup. I was just like, I was like living in an apartment.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  I was living in a nice apartment, but I was living in an apartment, you know? And um, I used to take like a motorbike to work, like it was like three blocks away from my apartment. So um, but basically, so we shot and it was like.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  It was fun, like I really enjoyed it.

• 30:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  And then um, she sent it and at that time Lauren Zelaznik was the head of Bravo. She was the big wig. And um, Lauren said, we're not gonna pick it up. She called me personally, which I thought was really nice. We're not gonna pick it up, but we promise not to pitch it to anybody else for like two months.

• 31:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  So I was like, oh, okay, but I knew.

• 31:18Lewis Howes?

  I wasn't planning to do a show, so yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  No, I wasn't planning on it.

• 31:21Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  I didn't even look for it. And so I was like, sure. So um, they ended up buying it. Like two months later, she gave me the call and she's like, we're picking up the show and the rest is history.

• 31:30Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  And then they became so intrusive. Then I moved into a home. They shot me in the home. They shot me in the car. They shot me in my therapist's office. Shot me with my Christian mom who was not really happy about my lesbianism. They shot my girlfriend. Yeah, they shot my girlfriend throwing a glass at my head and us having temper tantrums all the time. Then let the party begin.

• 31:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was crazy.

• 31:52Lewis Howes?

  So what did that experience do for your business and your, your life?

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Um, well, it gave me opportunities to write a book and do some DVDs, but it, I, I wouldn't suggest it for life. I don't think it's really.

• 32:04Lewis Howes?

  For your business, what did it do for you?

• 32:06Speaker 01

  Um, it gave me, it gave me more opportunities, so.

• 32:09Lewis Howes?

  Did your business grow?

• 32:11Speaker 01

  I'll, I'll give you an example. Let's say you get a book deal.

• 32:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  And you're on TV and you've got, say, eight episodes and you're holding that book up

• 32:22Speaker 01

  on two of those episodes. This is my new book, which is what I did. Okay, you're gonna get, sell about a hundred thousand more books than you would if you didn't. Okay? So that's what it does for you. So let's say you got maybe 5,000 hits on your website before and now you're getting, say, 30,000, 40,000, 50,000, 100,000 hits, you know? It does that, but this moment the show goes off, all those hits and everything go away.

• 32:48Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Yep, people don't remember. They just have a short attention span. They're on to the next thing.

• 32:54Lewis Howes?

  So the show lasted two or three seasons, right?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Three.

• 32:57Lewis Howes?

  Three seasons.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:58Lewis Howes?

  And. After it ended, were you, did you have kind of like a hangover, like?

• 33:03Speaker 01

  I had a very bad taste in my mouth, very, very bad taste. I had such a bad taste in my mouth that I refused to talk about my personal life at all in my next show, Thint Intervention. And if I had talked about my personal life and if I had shared my perspective in interview, in interviews, um, that show would have gotten picked up. I know that for a fact. I was executive producer. I created it. And all it took is me being more personal and not just being an expert, which is how I posed myself. But I'd been burned from workout so badly, showing how personal that was, that I refused to do any personal bits on Thint Intervention.

• 33:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  And now I know that I have to have my point of view, my perspective and be personal a little bit and show a little bit of my life.

• 33:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Some, but not nearly as much as workout. That was crazy.

• 33:52Lewis Howes?

  That was intense.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  So I had a really bad taste in my mouth and, and I still don't love doing TV because of it.

• 33:58Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  No, I don't enjoy doing TV.

• 33:59Lewis Howes?

  If you could go back and do it over again, would you do it or say?

• 34:02Speaker 01

  Um, that is a really good question. I've never thought of that before in my life. Um, because I think that I like to be behind the scenes more than I like to be on camera. So I think what I would do is just focus more on, on, um, my business and expanding my business instead of television. Isn't that crazy?

• 34:25Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Everybody wants to be on TV.

• 34:27Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  And I am saying right now that it's not all that it's chalked up to be.

• 34:31Lewis Howes?

  Oh, okay. At least not in that format.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Not in that format. Like the show that I'm working on right now, I'm really excited about because I think it could be massively life-changing and nobody's seen it done before.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  So it's something new that no one's seen done. And that's very exciting for me to be executive producer.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  And to host that type of big show, you know?

• 34:52Lewis Howes?

  Sure. So what happened after the show was over and done three seasons and they didn't pick it up again? Or you didn't do it for whatever reason? What? What did you go through personally? Was there a struggle? You know, did people forget about you right away?

• 35:06Speaker 01

  No, no, no. People did not forget about me right away. I had a really good, strong, you know, eight, 10-year run there.

• 35:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Um, of course I hired-

• 35:14Lewis Howes?

  They were doing reruns probably too.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hired a publicist and that publicist kept me constantly like on magazine covers in magazines.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  You know, up until about a year ago is that I was the highest contributing fitness expert in the world.

• 35:26Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I have done so much content, it's crazy. It's like you would not believe. I won't even listen for you.

• 35:32Lewis Howes?

  The press and the shows and everything.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Just so much press and so much content. I mean, I said yes to everything. So it could be like if you had like a

• 35:42Speaker 01

  handout or something and said Jackie Warner, we need a quote. Sure, let's get on the phone and do it.

• 35:46Lewis Howes?

  Anything you want. Yeah, yeah.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I said yes to everything.

• 35:49Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  But, um, I don't regret that at all, you know? Um, but yeah, I think, yeah, I guess that answered your question.

• 35:58Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you-

• 35:59Speaker 01

  I mean, I did have a hangover from it.

• 36:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  I had a hangover from it and I actually left town quite a bit and took this house in Cabo. And I would go by myself. This is how much of a hangover I had. I would go by myself and go for four days at a time and just sit quiet on the beach or like there was an infinity pool there and like sitting in the pool overlooking the ocean for hours a day. And, um, and not have anybody to talk to for like four days in a row. And I went to that house like once a month until I got my head right again.

• 36:32Lewis Howes?

  So would you say that was the main thing you did to, to start turning your life around from that hangover?

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just had to spend quiet time and reflective time and think about what, you know, was important to me. What I wanted to do and just think about that.

• 36:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  You know?

• 36:49Lewis Howes?

  Now, being from Ohio, I know your DNA, but coming to LA and being here for however long you've been here now.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Years.

• 36:56Lewis Howes?

  Surrounded by the industry and TV and everything, craziness.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Delusion.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  What keeps you grounded today after all that you've been through?

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Um, I still take clients. So after all these years, I still take one-on-one clients. And that keeps me grounded because um, uh, now, now let me tell you what type of client. It can't just be like any old client. It's gotta be somebody that is really ready to make a life change. So if I'm having a conversation with you and we're sparking up conversation about wellness, exercise, life, and I see that you really, really are ready to make that change and you just need me to hold your hand through it. That's the client I take and that's a client that is extremely satisfying to me.

• 37:42Lewis Howes?

  Cause they're gonna work hard for it too.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  They're gonna work hard. They're gonna do everything you tell them to do. They're gonna put their trust fully in you. And those clients are the ones that really respond.

• 37:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I like that. So how many clients do you usually have every month? Like just a handful?

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Just a handful. And I do a lot of Skyping as well, which is really difficult. Skyping is difficult.

• 37:59Lewis Howes?

  Watching them train?

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, watching them train and um, me being out, sitting in front of my computer and having them on their computer. And then having a really good sessions, working chest, back, shoulders, quads, glute, hamstring, triceps, biceps, um, and all these muscle groups and doing that three times a week on Skype is intense.

• 38:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  And you just, it's like all about form correction. You're just, I'm just constantly correcting form, which can be exhausting. At the end of the Skype session, I feel like I've trained five people back to back. It's that exhausting.

• 38:36Lewis Howes?

  Analyzing, looking through the computer, yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  You're using your brain and your mouth and you're not touching and you're not like physically able to show them anything. You're just sitting, you know? It's intense. Try it. Everybody out there, try it, you know?

• 38:50Lewis Howes?

  So tell me about this book, uh, This Is Why You're Sick and Tired. What, what are the main reasons why we're sick and tired as a, as a country or the world?

• 38:58Speaker 01

  As a country.

• 38:59Lewis Howes?

  In general, the country, the US.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, as a country.

• 39:01Lewis Howes?

  What's the main reason why people are sick and tired?

• 39:03Speaker 01

  The main reason is our cells are toxic. So our cells are working at about 20% functioning in this country because of our processed foods. So what our FDA allows in our foods is unlike any other country in the world practically.

• 39:16Lewis Howes?

  No one else allows them to have it, yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  So even if you go to third world countries, they have higher standards for food.

• 39:22Lewis Howes?

  Crazy.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  Which is crazy when you think about how much um,

• 39:28Speaker 01

  The United States is the world leader and our foods are so corrupt. They're just so corrupt. And so basically, there's a whole industries that are conspiring to keep us sick and tired. And these industries have so much power in our political, in the political realm, that they just constantly, it's about making a buck as opposed to making us healthier.

• 39:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Individuals. So toxic cells, so our cells are working at about 20% as opposed to 100%, you know, and I addressed that in the first week of this.

• 40:02Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  Through Cellular Detox Diet. And another one is burnt out adrenals and thyroid. So a lot of women-

• 40:09Lewis Howes?

  That comes from what, lack of sleep or just over stress?

• 40:10Speaker 01

  It comes from over stress. Again, cortisol is being spiked all throughout the day and night. And also too much caffeine intake. So the more like monster drinks and drinks like this that are high energy, high octane drinks.

• 40:24Lewis Howes?

  Coffee, nonstop.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  And also Starbucks, no offense, but I noticed a big difference when I just cut my afternoon Starbucks out as opposed to drinking coffee throughout the day.

• 40:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  I do start feeling really worn down after I do that, like I'm chasing the dragon. Okay, so, you know, I don't know what that even means, but-

• 40:41Lewis Howes?

  I like it.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  It's something, something, but, you know, and then the third aspect is of course, I dedicate an entire chapter to real sleep issues. And foods, I give you foods that help you sleep. I give you diets that help you sleep and just getting the seven cycles of sleep.

• 40:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I love it. Well, I want to ask you a few questions before I ask you those. Make sure you guys pick up a copy of this book. Check it out for those watching the video and for those listening. It's called This Is Why You're Sick and Tired and How to Look and Feel Amazing. It's a three-week detox plan to help you reset metabolism, boost your energy and drop the pounds. Very excited. And where can they get this over on your website?

• 41:20Speaker 01

  You can get it, you can get it Barnes and Nobles. You can get it most retailers. You can get it, and Amazon is a great place to get it.

• 41:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay, we'll have it all linked up on the show notes as well. What are you most grateful for in your life recently?

• 41:32Speaker 01

  I'm gonna, I know 100% my mother. My mom and I always had a very difficult relationship. And I would go sometimes six months as an adult woman without talking to my own mother. And about-

• 41:49Speaker 01

  Two years ago, I just literally woke up one day and said, this has to change. I can't have this relationship with my own mother anymore. So this is a relatively new relationship. Once I made the decision to forgive and to move forward, um, I made that decision and we are so close now that not only do we constantly visit, she's from, still in Ohio. But she's the first person I talked to in the morning over my coffee. We talked for about half an hour. I talked to her throughout the day. I talked to her before I go to bed at night. And so this relationship has become very intense, very important. And she's become my best friend and my therapist.

• 42:32Lewis Howes?

  Amazing. For a year, it was a year? You were only talking about once, twice a year?

• 42:36Speaker 01

  It was years. It was years. I mean, there were so many factors. You know, she was only 18 when she had me. And you can't be a good parent at 18. I don't care what anybody says. It's very challenging. And so, um, you know, there were just so many years of anger and disappointment and all these things that, you know, that a lot of people in families have that go through with their parents.

• 42:56Lewis Howes?

  So what do you think it took from you to finally move past it or forgive? What, what did you create in yourself?

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went on a journey. I went on a journey where I, I took all addictive substances and toxins out of my life. So you not, you can't.

• 43:12Lewis Howes?

  Negative addiction.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Negative, negative. So I went through this journey for a year and I didn't drink, take one drink. That's really interesting. Try it sometime and you, you will change drastically when you don't. When you cut alcohol out, cause I'm a social drinker. But still, it's, it's a need, you know? It really, really.

• 43:28Lewis Howes?

  Something you're avoiding.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Is something, yeah, that you're avoiding or maybe you don't, it helps with anxiety. Or perhaps it helps with confidence. Perhaps you have social anxiety or you're shyer and you'd like to be more, maybe you can't hit on somebody without it. You know, there's so many factors of why we love to drink around the world, around the world. Not just Americans, but around the world. Go to Ireland and it's like, it's a part of their culture every day after work. It's part of their culture. So there's a reason why we like it and I decided that it was a toxin because it is. I hate to say it, but it is a toxin and I decided to remove it from my life for a year. Any kind of negative crutch for a year and in that time I grew substantially as a human being.

• 44:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  It changed the course of my life and it also changed my personality drastically.

• 44:17Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Very drastically.

• 44:19Lewis Howes?

  Powerful.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  And in that change, I was able to heal that relationship with my mother.

• 44:25Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  And now, no matter what, we have it and it's a huge gift to me.

• 44:30Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing. And she comes out and visits and you go back to Ohio.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. As a matter of fact, I used to couldn't wait to get rid of her. I could stand her for like five days and then I actually put her on a plane early and to get rid of her when I was like younger, like in my thirties or twenties. And now, the last time she came to visit, she was planning to stay for eight days, right? Well, I extended her trip for three weeks.

• 44:52Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  So she stayed in my home for three weeks.

• 44:55Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  I, it was like Chris kid on Christmas morning, like I couldn't wait to wake up and wake her up.

• 45:01Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  And you know, like pad into her bedroom and wake her up and make her like get up with me and things like that. So it was just like, it's just really lovely.

• 45:10Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:11Lewis Howes?

  Well, thanks for sharing that. That's awesome.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 45:14Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask the final question, again, I want to make sure everyone go check out the book and follow you online. We'll have it all linked up. At the end of every episode, I like to acknowledge my guests.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 45:23Lewis Howes?

  Something that comes up and opens up for me. So Jackie, what I'd like to acknowledge about you is,

• 45:31Lewis Howes?

  I want to acknowledge your realness.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 45:35Lewis Howes?

  Your realness and your ability to say what's on your mind and share what's on your mind without worrying what other people think.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 45:43Lewis Howes?

  Who you really are.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 45:45Lewis Howes?

  And I think a lot of people have some misunderstandings about you and for me to just have this interaction with you really opens me up to seeing who you really are. And I appreciate the value you bring to the world and the dedication you have to serving so many people.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 45:58Lewis Howes?

  Because it takes, you know, I see it's not just about you and the more you talk about you, you don't even want to be on TV. It's about serving a mission that you have, that I can see that.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 46:07Lewis Howes?

  For me, that's really cool to see how. You're bigger than your, your, you know, yourself. It's your, it's about your mission. It's about serving people that you still want to serve.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:16Lewis Howes?

  Clients. And for me, that's really cool to see that someone with your experience, your success, your level of TV fame, that you're still serving people and working, most importantly, on yourself to be there for your family.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Every day. You gotta work on yourself every day, but I do appreciate that.

• 46:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm very real and I don't give a damn what people think about me. I think that's pretty clear.

• 46:40Lewis Howes?

  I like it. Uh, final question.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 46:42Lewis Howes?

  Actually, sorry, two final questions. The first one is if this was the last day and you had three things to write down, if your TV show was removed from Bravo.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:52Lewis Howes?

  The books were gone, everything was gone, but you had three things to write down about the truths you know to be true about what you've learned in life. What were those three truths?

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Oh, that's, that's a good question. Um.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  The one truth is, is really see yourself as an individual, not through other people's eyes. And just like what you were talking about and what other people, how they see you, but how you really visualize yourself. And, and to do that, you have to find something that you're good at.

• 47:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  You know, like pick up something, a hobby, something that you're good at, something that you practice, something that gives you joy, whether it's writing in a journal or what have you. Um, but don't see yourself through other people's eyes. See yourself through your own clear lenses.

• 47:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Um, based on the things that you've achieved within yourself. Um, two, a truth is, you know, I think a truth is, I think we're kind of judgmental, you know, and when you find yourself like judging or looking at people and picking them apart, um, really try to ask yourself if you would like that judgment based on your appearance or, you know, something about yourself.

• 48:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  So, um, that's a ultimate truth is try, just try not to be so judgmental. That's more of a rule. And then three, what would a truth be? Um.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I don't know. That's a good one. Guide me here.

• 48:22Lewis Howes?

  Something about your personal experience, about your love, about relationships, about.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Well, you know, my personal relationships like in love are really interesting because my bar is so high now. Like I would not date any of the women that I've dated in the past now, but um, you know, I think a truth should be, don't ever settle for someone else because you're so afraid of being alone. And I think a lot of people do that. They're uncomfortable with not having codependency and attention and love and caresses and all the thing that things that a relationship brings them. So they end up kind of settling or seeing red flags or getting into a relationship that's kind of dysfunctional. And that's not gonna make you grow or expand in the way that you should.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Being alone for a little period of time is extremely life expansive, you know?

• 49:21Lewis Howes?

  Thanks for those three truths. Final question. What's your definition?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  It goes on and on. Lewis, my goodness.

• 49:28Lewis Howes?

  What's your definition of greatness?

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Oh my God, you're asking hard questions. These are, these are like big questions. I, I believe in, in

• 49:41Speaker 01

  I, I believe the definition of greatness to me is how great and powerful is your energy, your positive energy. And I teach people how to have positive energy just by the way they carry themselves, you know? I can tell you right now that I go to the same restaurants, the same juice bars, the same gyms. You know, I've got of course a few memberships now, but um, I like to rotate, but um, and everybody says to me more than any other thing, like your energy is very positive and very strong. And that does not come naturally. It's something I work on every day. So no matter what I'm feeling, maybe I'm having a bad day, maybe I'm depressed. I still try to make that human connection.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  And I still try to acknowledge every single person that comes in my path, even walking down the street, which might be a little weird. Like locking eyes and smiling at everybody that walks in on the street, but you know, so the people have to realize energy can be so impactful. And you can change a thousand lives in one day just by waking up and deciding that you want to. You know, whether it be The parking attendant.

• 50:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  To picking up your dry cleaning and making a connection, asking about how's your daughter, da-da-da-da, you know, people want that connection. And so I try to work on that every day. So powerful energy.

• 50:59Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Well, thanks so much for coming on.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 51:01Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it, Jackie.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Thank you very much. It was fun.

• 51:06Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, make sure to share with your friends, LewisHowes.com/221. Share it out. Go back to the show notes there. You can get all the links with the information with Jackie. You can check out the video, this full interview as well of us. Share the video out on Facebook. You've got some great tweets there. Connect with Jackie. Connect with her on social media. Check out her book and all the stuff she's up to. Back at the show notes at LewisHowes.com/221. Again, big thanks to Jackie Warner for coming on. We've got some incredible guests coming up soon. And I just want to say thank you to all of you. I acknowledge you all for

• 51:48Lewis Howes?

  coming and listening to this podcast. If this is your first time here, please subscribe over on iTunes and check me out over at LewisHowes.com/221. And continue to follow these episodes because we do this every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, people. And I am pumped to bring you greatness on a consistent basis. And I do it all for you. So go out there today. Make something magical today. Make someone smile. Make yourself smile. Do something powerful that supports your vision. That's what I want you guys to do today. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.