Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 781: Jolly Green Gundam About this episode We’re in the scary months, no thanks to Greek emperor Augustus. But it’s the perfect time to cozy up and exchange silly jokes about supernatural creatures like Mobius, Manbat, and The Rockscar.
Suggested talking points: Batapp, Dracula Hates Sans Serifs, Jeff Boy-R-Dee, Acrustus Caesar, The Traving Machine
Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/
Transcript 10,672 words · 9 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
1:16 Travis McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog Vroom Vroom Wolf Wolf McElroy.
1:22 Griffin McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? Glad to be here. Thanks for having me, sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, Griffin McElroy.
1:28 Travis McElroy? Guys, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately and it's just occurred to me that now that we're in the spooky month, maybe I'm a teen wolf.
1:37 Travis McElroy? I don't think we are in October.
1:40 Griffin McElroy? September's, September's pretty scary, too.
1:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
1:45 Travis McElroy? Yeah, but that news peg of like now we're in spooky month, it's mid to late.
1:49 Travis McElroy? No, spooky month.
1:51 Griffin McElroy? Spooky month.
1:53 Travis McElroy? Plural.
1:54 Griffin McElroy? We all know.
1:55 Travis McElroy? You count, you count September as one of the scary ones?
1:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. September, October, November, the three scary ones.
2:01 Griffin McElroy? Even the beginning of, beginning of December can be like scary snowy Nordic vampire. Let the right one in.
2:08 Travis McElroy? December, January, February, the cold ones, March, April, May, the spring ones, June, July, August, the hot ones.
2:16 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:16 Travis McElroy? I agree with this seasonal thing. I've, I've been Mr. Let's use the, the months as separators from the beginning, but.
2:25 Travis McElroy? I don't, this is just fall. It's not the spooky months. Like you can't have three spooky months. Okay.
2:30 Griffin McElroy? You know, I'm sorry, Justin, are bats trying to kill you in all the other months? Or just the spooky ones?
2:36 Travis McElroy? Thank you. You know, Justin, some thousands of years ago, scientists aren't sure when, uh, a guy named Augustus Caesar said, you know what? 10 months? No more. I'm gonna add in months for me. And my dad, so I'm adding in July and August. And everybody said, okay, cool, man. We've numbered the months. September is the 7th, October is the 8th, November is the 9th, um, December is the 10th, so you'll go at the end. And he said, no, no, no.
3:06 Griffin McElroy? No.
3:06 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna jam them in the middle there and really fuck up the whole numbering system. And everybody said, okay, cool, man. So I think, Justin, we can do whatever the fuck we want.
3:15 Griffin McElroy? It's all made up pretend.
3:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Animals don't know the months, Justin.
3:20 Griffin McElroy? Animals don't know the month, except for bats, because they do know when are the good months to kill you.
3:25 Travis McElroy? Groundhogs know when February is.
3:27 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
3:27 Travis McElroy? How do bats know when to change into Draculas?
3:29 Griffin McElroy? It's not a Dracula thing. Dracula's make believe. And saying that is really making light of the threat of that bats wanna kill you in September, October.
3:38 Travis McElroy? To be fair, Dracula turns into bats. Bats don't turn into Dracula.
3:42 Griffin McElroy? It'd be crazy if a bat turned into Dracula.
3:44 Travis McElroy? Travis, did you have a thing? Did you have a thing, Travis?
3:46 Travis McElroy? I said my thing. I'm turning into a Teen Wolf.
3:49 Travis McElroy? That's, that's your whole thing? That was your whole introduction?
3:52 Travis McElroy? It was kind of a conversation starter icebreaker.
3:54 Griffin McElroy? We found a lot of rich veins, right? Like, I wanna talk about bat Dracula, a bat who turns into a man and is then like, cause like he doesn't understand how to operate a body.
4:02 Travis McElroy? He doesn't know how to walk.
4:04 Griffin McElroy? Doesn't know how to walk, doesn't know how to pee, doesn't know how to fuck.
4:07 Travis McElroy? My favorite Batman villain is Man-Bat. Because I bet when he ran into him, he was like, fuck, they got me. They said, one thing that I can't do. They saw the inverse of me and they got all the parts of me that are a man.
4:21 Travis McElroy? And Man-Bat's parents, they're much alive, is the other thing. We don't talk about that enough. He has extra parents.
4:29 Griffin McElroy? Mm-hmm.
4:31 Griffin McElroy? We were in Austin during during one of the months where bats are allowed to kill you. If we had been too close to that bridge come sundown, guys, we would have been absorbed in the cloud and turned into bones.
4:42 Travis McElroy? Like Mobius.
4:44 Griffin McElroy? A lot like that.
4:45 Travis McElroy? Is that who it was? I don't think that was his name, was it? It was Morbius, wasn't it?
4:48 Griffin McElroy? That's alright, man. It doesn't matter. No one cares.
4:50 Travis McElroy? Did you just spoil the end of Morbius?
4:51 Travis McElroy? I'm sorry, everybody. He gets sucked into bats and turned into bones.
4:54 Griffin McElroy? No, he turns into five bats and then clouds a guy who turns into bones. That's how Morbius ends.
5:00 Travis McElroy? Okay. Man, that movie sounds really good.
5:04 Griffin McElroy? It's pretty cool. Five bats isn't enough to hide sort of the peeling and stripping.
5:10 Travis McElroy? If the bats are big enough, I guess.
5:12 Griffin McElroy? No, they don't. It's not their job to hide the scary thing that they're doing. It's their job to eat. Yep.
5:19 Travis McElroy? Do you think Draculas ever compare the size of bat they turn into when they turn into bats? I bet if you're a Dracula who turns into a really big bat, when you turn, you get to brag a lot to your friends.
5:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. I mean, for me, the big thing is how many bats do you turn into? Cause I want you to be able to turn into a few of them.
5:37 Travis McElroy? Okay, would you rather turn into five little bats or one big bat?
5:41 Travis McElroy? Good question. Do you want to be a swarm of bats or do you want to turn into one big bat?
5:47 Griffin McElroy? Swarm of bats is weird because I am still controlling them. So how's that? How am I up in?
5:51 Travis McElroy? High mind.
5:52 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
5:53 Travis McElroy? Okay, but if one of my swarm of bats gets killed and I turn back, is like, my finger gone?
5:59 Travis McElroy? Yep.
5:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:00 Travis McElroy? Oh, bummer.
6:01 Griffin McElroy? It's actually the how you.
6:03 Travis McElroy? But if the one bat gets killed, like, you know what I'm saying? If the one bat gets killed, it's you, you will die.
6:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. I don't think that's true. I do. I think there is a, he gets a second chance if he dies as a bat. He kind of like pop, he comes back.
6:17 Travis McElroy? No, I think if you die in the bat, you die in real.
6:19 Griffin McElroy? I don't think so, man. I think.
6:21 Travis McElroy? Okay, would you rather turn into a swarm of bats or one big bat in an armored mech suit that protects you from violence?
6:30 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
6:30 Griffin McElroy? Dean, that one.
6:31 Travis McElroy? If we were doing a Dracula movie, do you know what would be sweet? Like if he turned into a swarm of bats and they were like, fuck, he's one of those. But then he like reconforms into one big bat. So he's like, got three forms. There's like big bat.
6:46 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:47 Travis McElroy? Swarm and then Dracula, just as a gentleman, going about his day. The regular Dracula who could like do banking and stuff.
6:55 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:55 Travis McElroy? A lot of monsters can't do that and Dracula can do.
6:57 Griffin McElroy? He has an app. He has an app that lets him pick which kind of bats he wants to turn into.
7:02 Travis McElroy? Mm hmm.
7:03 Griffin McElroy? This bat app.
7:05 Griffin McElroy? That's a cool, modern Dracula for me.
7:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah, dude. Sorry. So he has an app.
7:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
7:12 Travis McElroy? Which is called.
7:14 Griffin McElroy? Bat app.
7:16 Travis McElroy? No A. It's called.
7:21 Griffin McElroy? And he presses, he gets to pick how many bats, the size of the bats, whether he wants to control all of them or have someone else steer some of the other bats.
7:28 Travis McElroy? At first, I would need to be one bat. I cannot be both a bat and split into like five minds.
7:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
7:36 Travis McElroy? I can't take the pressure of both at once.
7:38 Griffin McElroy? I bet.
7:38 Travis McElroy? I want a microtransaction for additional bats.
7:41 Travis McElroy? When you're a vampire and you first learn to turn into a swarm of bats, I bet there's a couple of times in the beginning where you're still figuring it out and you turn back, but all your bats were in the wrong place when you turn back.
7:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, man.
7:53 Travis McElroy? And like your head's on your knee and stuff and you're like, oh no.
7:56 Griffin McElroy? Oh no.
7:57 Travis McElroy? Turn back and go swarm of bats and try again.
7:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. The other like really important thing is you can't stay a cloud of bats for over 60 minutes or else you get stuck as a cloud of bats forever.
8:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
8:08 Travis McElroy? Yep.
8:09 Griffin McElroy? And that means.
8:09 Travis McElroy? If you stay a cloud of bats long enough, eventually the hand bats are like, really? We're the most important ones if you think about it. And then the brain bats are like, well.
8:20 Griffin McElroy? Well.
8:20 Travis McElroy? If you think about it a different way, you can't think about it without the brain bats. And then they start like, there's infighting.
8:26 Travis McElroy? Well, and they start to have their own dreams and desires and stuff.
8:30 Travis McElroy? That's when it's sentience is the, that's when you gotta worry.
8:33 Travis McElroy? I've never thought about vampires.
8:34 Travis McElroy? Happened in, that's what happened in my left foot.
8:37 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
8:38 Travis McElroy? The left foot gained sentience?
8:40 Travis McElroy? And became a bat left. That's true. That's what happened in the film. You didn't watch it closely enough.
8:45 Griffin McElroy? The original.
8:46 Travis McElroy? I didn't watch it at all, Justin. So that might be the problem.
8:49 Griffin McElroy? The original name of the film was My Lousy Left Foot's Off Again on Another Adventure.
8:55 Travis McElroy? Flapping his leathery wings.
8:57 Travis McElroy? The original title was My Angry Bat.
8:59 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
9:00 Travis McElroy? It's.
9:02 Travis McElroy? And I'll tell you, the amazing thing is Daniel Day Lewis was so committed that he learned how to turn into a swarm of bats for that movie.
9:09 Griffin McElroy? Everyone always mentions Angela. No one puts any respect on Brenda Fricker's name for her, for her job, for her.
9:14 Travis McElroy? What the fuck are you talking about, Griffin? We've done nothing but put respect on Brenda Fricker's name for a decade.
9:19 Travis McElroy? We have made space. We've made as much space for Brenda Fricker as we can. This is an advice show.
9:23 Travis McElroy? I want to talk about more vampire Voltrons.
9:26 Griffin McElroy? Same, same, same. Do you guys think that vampires and Dracula, they put a little too much lore on it? Like they kept putting more and more and more and more stuff and then like they just never stopped until they realized they had gone too far like.
9:40 Travis McElroy? I think for me, if I'm a vampire and I'm watching the whole thing develop.
9:44 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
9:44 Travis McElroy? I think for me, the garlic is where I'm like, okay.
9:47 Griffin McElroy? That's crazy.
9:48 Travis McElroy? That we've gone far enough. Thank you. You know what I mean? Like I, I'm just a regular garlic, like just regular.
9:54 Travis McElroy? I bet that sucks too, because like, yeah, maybe Dracula just didn't like garlic in his food. He wasn't a fan. And it became a thing. So now like when they go to monster parties, everybody keeps the garlic out of everything, but like Dan, the vampire is like.
10:07 Travis McElroy? I like garlic.
10:08 Griffin McElroy? Guys, you do not need to make space for this. The whole thing about like they stab, the only way to kill you is stab you in the heart and then you turn into a big pile of dust? What the fuck does that even, what are you talking about? Turn into dust?
10:21 Travis McElroy? Nothing works like that. You know what I mean? Nothing works like that.
10:24 Griffin McElroy? What would happen to his body that would reduce it to dust? That's crazy.
10:29 Travis McElroy? Where does the water?
10:30 Griffin McElroy? Where's the water in his body?
10:31 Travis McElroy? Well, that's what you're always drinking blood. They're so dehydrated.
10:35 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that would be cool as if when you spiked a vampire, it turned into dust and cloud. It was just like instantly like.
10:41 Griffin McElroy? Or a gush, like a sudden expulsion of all liquid in the body, just a and then ash remain.
10:47 Travis McElroy? Fremen, like what happens with the Fremen when you kill the Fremen and the water just drains out.
10:52 Griffin McElroy? And yeah.
10:53 Travis McElroy? But then it's mud. What if it's raining into the ash, then it's mud and he's just gonna goop back out of it like.
10:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's a good point.
11:01 Travis McElroy? Reborn.
11:02 Travis McElroy? I didn't think about that, guys. That's a good point. I bet the vampires were super jazzed when modern mirrors were invented. Because the whole thing with not seeing their reflection is because mirrors used to be backed with silver. But now we don't use silver anymore. So vampires are like, oh, yes, I'm not the vampire. You could see me in the mirror.
11:20 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know. So you should have a silver mirror with you if you want to.
11:24 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah, at all times. I think you'll also probably get poisoned from it, I imagine. A lot of that stuff did that.
11:30 Griffin McElroy? How does a vampire?
11:34 Griffin McElroy? Sort of separate out when he's like, reading a book and there's like lowercase t's in it. And he sees those and he's like, those are fine. But then he sees a, a Christian cross and is like, no.
11:49 Travis McElroy? That's why he hates sans serif so much.
11:51 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
11:52 Travis McElroy? He needs the serifs. He all, he will only read the serifs. Like he needs the little. On the t's, on the curly Q, a little bit of a like a fun thing. He needs it. Cause if it's, if it's sans serif.
12:05 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
12:06 Travis McElroy? That's why all vampire books are printed in wingdings.
12:10 Griffin McElroy? That's good, Travis. Thanks. I don't want to do this show today. I just want to goof around with Travis making vampire jokes.
12:19 Travis McElroy? But not me. That's fun.
12:20 Griffin McElroy? No, you and me get to just sit in our comfy little couch and Travis makes vampire jokes to us.
12:25 Travis McElroy? Well, this is not gonna, we're not gonna make him do a whole hour.
12:28 Travis McElroy? No, and the problem, Griffin, the problem with vampire jokes is they all suck.
12:32 Griffin McElroy? I want to just cuddle up and have.
12:34 Travis McElroy? Really actually great, Travis. That one's actually quite good. It is weird that we.
12:40 Travis McElroy? We're so afraid of vampires, right? And then there's like such a, there's such a body of work about vampires are scary. But like, if you take a step back from vampires, think about it for one second.
12:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
12:52 Travis McElroy? Vampires got to sleep in a box.
12:55 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
12:55 Travis McElroy? Sun kills them. You know exactly where they are, like eight to 10 hours every day.
13:01 Travis McElroy? They also gotta tackle with a lot of dirt.
13:03 Travis McElroy? Yeah. They're asleep in a coffin, sunlight kills them, and if they wanna come to your house, you have to explicitly ask them to do so. That's, why are we afraid of these guys, honestly? Like, we should be looking out, they should be an endangered species, we should be looking out for.
13:20 Travis McElroy? Do you think when a vampire sees a human being just walk into the vampire's house, uninvited, they're like, fuck, man, I know that there's no rule for you, but rude?
13:30 Travis McElroy? But it's like rude. It sucks, dude. It's rude, I wouldn't do it. Why are you here? To fucking kill you! Why, like, why, dude? Why? This is the only interaction I have with you guys.
13:42 Travis McElroy? I can't even open the curtains on my windows. I don't know what time it is.
13:47 Travis McElroy? Is this just because I killed your nephew while he was getting water for the horses one time? I killed one 10-year-old nephew and you're like, Dracula, get him!
13:57 Travis McElroy? Did you even like him that much?
13:59 Travis McElroy? That was like nine days ago, dude, get over it. His fingernails were so gross, dude, did you look at his fingernails? Ow! You should be thanking me!
14:10 Travis McElroy? I saw you eating some cow meat the other day, is that cow son gonna come kill you? Come on, be cool.
14:19 Griffin McElroy? Do you think Dracula is gluten intolerant? This isn't, there's nothing else there to that joke.
14:25 Travis McElroy? We talked about that already, like, literally that exact thing in Count Donut. We've discussed this exact topic. At work, I've started a new role where essentially I'm the personality for a popular snack mascot. I either write or approve everything they say. When I tell people what I do for work, they always ask me to do the voice, but I don't do the voice, I am just a writer. Brothers, how can I avoid this awkward exchange every time I tell someone I do for work? It's also extra tough on me because I asked my bosses if I could do the voice, but they said I just didn't have what they were looking for. That's from misunderstood mascot. Um, you should stop telling people that you are the voice and soul of Chester Cheetah.
15:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
15:07 Travis McElroy? And then, and people will stop asking you to do the voice.
15:09 Travis McElroy? You say, I'm the, I'm the soul of, I'm the mind and soul of Chester Cheetah.
15:14 Griffin McElroy? I think it's crazy you guys leapt immediately there. Like, it's possible, I guess, but to me, that represents like, the big show. This would be like George.
15:23 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah, there's a team, there's a team steering Chester.
15:26 Griffin McElroy? Yes, there's a whole, uh, network of, uh, data mining, AI sort of probes that are, that are coming up with the best shit for Chester.
15:36 Travis McElroy? True. I think that you want a consistency of thought process. You want to see like, yes, that's exactly something Chester Cheetah would do.
15:46 Griffin McElroy? Right.
15:47 Travis McElroy? And so you'd want like one person.
15:49 Griffin McElroy? He's called Chester Cheetah, but you can't lose the human element.
15:54 Travis McElroy? Exactly.
15:55 Griffin McElroy? Or else he's not, he isn't relatable. Like, he is a blank canvas that, and that's what I appreciate about him is we have not filled him to the brim with a ton of lore. He is a cheetah who looks cool and likes to eat cheetos. We don't need a whole biography on him past that. We don't need, we don't need an SNES platformer.
16:16 Travis McElroy? He also has an unstated danger element to him, where he'll say like dangerously cheesy and like he's got a vibe of danger to him. But it's never specified what that is, what that danger.
16:31 Griffin McElroy? People think I, I would love to meet Chester Cheetah. You don't want to meet Chester Cheetah. If, you're not gonna love that experience. Don't meet your idols, especially when they are, by their own words, dangerous.
16:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Same with Tony the Tiger. I think if I met Tony the Tiger, he would encourage me to be more physically.
16:50 Griffin McElroy? Jungle cats that will fucking kill you, gang.
16:53 Travis McElroy? The top, uh, 50 brand mascots. And I was wondering if you guys, if I were to throw some at you, you guys could just give me some fresh takes. Because I would love this job. I feel like we would be really good at this, this gig. Travis?
17:05 Griffin McElroy? And the question asker, this is not remotely what you wanted, but like, I bet it will be helpful too.
17:10 Travis McElroy? Great Travis, like, let's say that you are the one, you're the one who's now in charge of Snuggle Bear. Like, how are you making Snuggle Bear?
17:20 Travis McElroy? That's good.
17:21 Travis McElroy? More relevant into, to refer to like today's market?
17:24 Travis McElroy? I think seeing somebody, oh, they've just had a really stressful, maybe like first day of college, where like they bumped into somebody and they got yelled at a bunch. And like, maybe their professor was really mean to them. And they're just sitting there and they're really like freaking out. And Snuggle Bear comes over with like a warm fluffy blanket, and he puts the blanket over their shoulders and he says, I'll take care of it. And then we see Snuggle Bear ripping into the throat of all, everyone who was mean to him.
17:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
17:54 Travis McElroy? Shit, that's cool. That's actually cool.
17:56 Griffin McElroy? I don't know that it's gonna move a lot of fabric softener, but...
17:59 Travis McElroy? No, okay, instead of ripping the throat out, he's, he's smothering them with a blanket. And while smothering them, the people are also saying, so soft.
18:08 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
18:09 Travis McElroy? Griffin, Griffin?
18:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
18:11 Travis McElroy? We all know that Chef Boyardee is America's most beloved chef, but no one gives a shit about him anymore. So how would you bring Chef Boyardee into 2025?
18:21 Griffin McElroy? Uh, big social media presence to start things out, to lay the groundwork. And it's gonna be stuff like Chef Boyardee edited into like anime music videos, like, um, a lot of fan...
18:33 Travis McElroy? Chef Boyardee.
18:35 Griffin McElroy? Lot of fan sort of cuts, that Attack on Titan, all kinds of other sort of like stuff. And...
18:43 Travis McElroy? That My Hero Academia kind of like...
18:45 Griffin McElroy? My Hero Academia.
18:46 Travis McElroy? Is he a giant? Is, is Chef Boyardee a giant in the, in the anime?
18:50 Griffin McElroy? No, he's, no, you're watching clip, and this is not on TV, so you can use clips.
18:55 Travis McElroy? Whatever, you do it, there's no laws, basically.
18:56 Griffin McElroy? There's no laws, whatever. But it's like clips from Attack on Titan and...
19:03 Griffin McElroy? Barudo and like all of those guys and then like in there it but it's coming from Chef Boyardee's channel. Uh, it's like his channel and he doesn't even mention the fact that it is Chef Boyardee and until like the comments of everyone is like, hey, great anime fan edit Chef Boyardee. So like the buzz is getting out there in a really organic way. Um, and then I don't think you really honestly have to do much more than that these days.
19:28 Travis McElroy? Can I counterpoint that?
19:29 Griffin McElroy? I would love you to.
19:30 Travis McElroy? Chef Manardee. And now he's a ripped dude and he's like got kind of that like sexy Santa Claus. No, hold on. Sexy Santa Claus vibe, you know?
19:41 Griffin McElroy? Make any of them hot. Like, of course.
19:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah, like make them hot.
19:46 Griffin McElroy? I got some.
19:47 Travis McElroy? Also, Jeff Boyardee would be great.
19:49 Griffin McElroy? It's just a guy.
19:50 Travis McElroy? Jeff Boyardee is really, we should get Chef Boyardee into Master Jeff this year just to like give him a shot at something.
19:55 Speaker 04 Jeff Boyardee.
19:56 Travis McElroy? Jeff Boyardee, Travis, I got, I got one word for you. Aflac. You know? Aflac. I want to see that duck after work. I want to see that duck go home. Um, and we see like, uh, maybe some unpaid bills. Um, maybe like photographs with somebody ripped out of them, right? He's gone through some hard times. Um, and he at home, he feels so empty and alone. And the only time he feels alive is when he's screaming aflac in people's faces. And it gives
20:36 Travis McElroy? us like, he doesn't do this for the money, right? He does it. This is a service. This is something he does from his heart.
20:46 Speaker 04 Sorry, I'm trying to listen, but on the page I have shared that has the mascots, inexplicably, there is a Robin Williams memorial airing in the bottom right corner of the window. And I'm trying to watch, but there's this tiny little Robin Williams memorial that was playing, guys. It was really moving. He taught us all to laugh.
21:08 Griffin McElroy? I mean, it's a kick ass Patch Adams. Kick ass Patch Adams, but he's doing, but yeah, back to the game.
21:15 Travis McElroy? Back to the game. Oh, hey, what if it was just me, Justin McRoy, and it was a video and I'm like, hi, I'm the Gerber baby. I'm doing fine.
21:24 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
21:25 Travis McElroy? I'm okay. You know, the food worked out. I grew up and I lived and it all worked out fine. So it's good baby food.
21:33 Griffin McElroy? I ate the food. I did eat the food and I, some of it's pretty good, guys, like, and I'm not getting, I am getting paid to say that, but like, I'm the Gerber baby, so people ask.
21:44 Travis McElroy? It comes up.
21:45 Travis McElroy? I think you could take, I'm looking at the screen here, Justin, get the Quaker Oats man, but take him in kind of a witch hunter kind of vibe where he's talking about how sugary, sugary cereals are like deeply sinful and demonic.
22:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
22:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah, let him come in and like burn the Trix Rabbit at the stake or something, you know?
22:06 Griffin McElroy? Old time, dark ages, family drama, ala The Witch. Uh, and Quaker Oats man is the father and like, and sorry, guys, get into the religion more, Quaker Oats. You guys are leaving a lot on the table.
22:21 Travis McElroy? Religion is a huge part of it, guys.
22:24 Griffin McElroy? It's like a huge part of it, guys, and you really aren't, when I eat Quaker Oats, I'm not getting a message. Do you know what I mean? And that is gonna put it in certain people's hearts and minds.
22:34 Travis McElroy? Quaker, like, I, I don't, like, Quaker makes chewy granola strawberry crispy clusters. Like, is that, it feels judgmental to have the Quaker looking at me from that box. Like, that is, I'm not inhabiting the Quaker lifestyle with that, you know what I mean? No way.
22:52 Travis McElroy? 'Tis a gift to be chewy. 'Tis a gift to be strawberry.
22:59 Travis McElroy? That's good, man.
23:00 Griffin McElroy? Trix.
23:01 Travis McElroy? Trix.
23:02 Griffin McElroy? I would just change the name. Just change the Trix name, the Trix Rabbit.
23:05 Travis McElroy? To what?
23:05 Griffin McElroy? And the name of the cereal. Trinks.
23:08 Travis McElroy? Drax.
23:09 Griffin McElroy? With an N.
23:10 Travis McElroy? Drax.
23:11 Griffin McElroy? Trinks.
23:12 Travis McElroy? We got Drax now.
23:15 Travis McElroy? It's my cereal.
23:16 Travis McElroy? Guardians of the Galaxy?
23:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
23:18 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
23:18 Travis McElroy? We replaced Trix Rabbit with Drax. That's easy. That one's easy.
23:22 Griffin McElroy? I would not be surprised if I mentioned Trix cereal and you're like, no, Disney does actually own, through a series of mergers, they do own Trix cereal and also the nickel.
23:32 Travis McElroy? What is the Jolly Green Giant? Is he a vegetable?
23:37 Travis McElroy? Are you ready for this? The Jolly Green Gundam.
23:41 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
23:41 Travis McElroy? Fuck!
23:43 Griffin McElroy? That's cool. He might end up in a Chef Boyardee fan edit, too.
23:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
23:47 Griffin McElroy? Which would be cool.
23:47 Travis McElroy? Jolly Green.
23:48 Travis McElroy? I know, right?
23:49 Travis McElroy? Jolly Green Gundam is good. Can they sue us for that? Probably not.
23:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
23:54 Travis McElroy? I mean, if we don't do anything with it, which our track record says we won't.
23:59 Griffin McElroy? What about like hanging in there, Green Giant? And it's like being a little bit more emotionally honest about how he's do- like how he's do- but the brand is called.
24:08 Travis McElroy? What about on Molly Green Giant?
24:10 Griffin McElroy? Molly Green Giant, cool.
24:12 Travis McElroy? He's just really feeling colors and tasting light.
24:16 Griffin McElroy? I think.
24:16 Travis McElroy? You know, he's having a great time.
24:17 Griffin McElroy? Just destroying the countryside beneath his giant sort of like stoned body as he just kind of vibes around.
24:22 Travis McElroy? I want him to be more representative of my relationship with cereal. So like when he sees me, he's like, hey, Justin, I rubbed oil all over me and all the herbs you like. And I roasted myself for 450 degrees for a half hour. I'm like ready to go, ready for you to eat me. I want him to be more appetizing, you know what I mean? Like the idea of a giant man.
24:41 Travis McElroy? You want to be more interested in eating the Jolly Green Giant?
24:44 Griffin McElroy? He could look more like food for sure.
24:45 Travis McElroy? I would like him to feel more like sentient food because right now he's kind of an uncanny valley situation where he's like, can I eat him or not? You know what I mean?
24:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
24:54 Travis McElroy? You want clarity.
24:55 Travis McElroy? I want clarity.
24:57 Griffin McElroy? You want Veggie Tales. When you watch Veggie Tales, you know, the second you see one of those guys, whether or not you would, you would pop up.
25:04 Travis McElroy? Why are we listening to a bear about fire? Right?
25:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:11 Travis McElroy? I would wonder about Smokey the Bear is so interesting. What if he was a person who had a diploma?
25:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:18 Travis McElroy? About it and he was like, I would rather you did it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't trust a bear. He could be trying to chase me to better places to eat me. You know what I mean? Like, don't light, don't light a campfire because.
25:32 Travis McElroy? Then I'll be scared of it and I can't come eat you, basically. I have a theory on this, which is I believe that the bear was chosen as opposed to say a deer or squirrel, a more relatable, uh, forest animal because of the implied threat of like, only you can prevent forest fires or else, right?
25:52 Griffin McElroy? And that shit doesn't work on me. I do not, you, I think you catch a lot more flies with honey than whatever Smokey Bear is trying to set down by being subconsciously pretty frightening.
26:03 Travis McElroy? The only reason.
26:04 Griffin McElroy? Just as huge.
26:05 Travis McElroy? The only reason to make McGruff the crime dog, human sized.
26:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:10 Travis McElroy? Is to give the implication that he can arrest an adult and take him to jail. Correct. Like you, you need to be able to, cause McGruff could solve crimes with just his snout, leading the proper authorities to the criminals, but he has to be man sized because you need to know that when he does track him down, he can fist fight, like he can fight them physically.
26:33 Griffin McElroy? How much money do you think it would cost to get an edit of Air Bud that someone touches up with VFX or whatever, where he is a five foot, 10 inch tall bipedal dog man?
26:47 Griffin McElroy? Who's like, so guys, did I make the team?
26:49 Travis McElroy? It's like the dog police video, but it's 90 minutes long. And yeah, it sounds good, man. I'd love to watch a full sentient adult sized Air Bud.
26:59 Griffin McElroy? I would be more into, um, a more friendly figure for my forest fire prevention. I would love like a crunchy, like your crunchy friend Kyle, um, your earthy crunchy friend.
27:11 Travis McElroy? That would be better for me in vegetables, I think. Um, Ronald McDonald is one of my favorites because he is one of the few that they just won't for a few years, you know? There's like a couple, they'll go years and be like, Ronald, no, I don't think so. I haven't.
27:28 Griffin McElroy? They made such a big deal about Grimace, like Grimace is uncancelled guys, we're bringing him back out of retirement. It's like, that's great. I haven't seen Ronald's ass.
27:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
27:37 Griffin McElroy? Since fucking 2020. Like, where is he?
27:40 Travis McElroy? I think it's time.
27:41 Travis McElroy? It's time for Ronald to go cyber, if you ask me. It's time for Cyber Ronald, a fully digitized, out of the computer VR experience.
27:52 Griffin McElroy? I like that. That's cool.
27:54 Travis McElroy? And I know what you're saying, Travis, that seems like a lot of buzzwords without any follow up.
27:59 Griffin McElroy? You didn't say what it would be, but that's.
28:01 Travis McElroy? But you're, you're interested.
28:03 Griffin McElroy? Let me fill in the gaps with my imagination.
28:06 Travis McElroy? 4K.
28:08 Griffin McElroy? Fuck yeah, dude.
28:09 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. Crypto.
28:12 Griffin McElroy? Aw, dude.
28:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah, buddy. This is new gen, next wave.
28:17 Griffin McElroy? Next wave, Ronald.
28:19 Travis McElroy? Next wave, Ronald. That's right. Fully digital.
28:22 Griffin McElroy? I would find it a lot cooler to find out that you wrote all the ad copy for the Little Caesar's guy, which is, I'm guessing, sort of a mid, a mid-range kind of mascot job.
28:34 Travis McElroy? I think he only says the one thing, Griffin.
28:37 Griffin McElroy? You're right. I picked the worst imaginable example.
28:39 Travis McElroy? But I do love the idea of the reason there hasn't been any new dialogue is because it's like, I can't think of anything else he would say. It's not in character.
28:46 Griffin McElroy? It's not that, Travis. It's an exercise in, and a, a display of unfathomable restraint. There's a whole team of writers, every week they get together in the conference room and bring up their best shit. Like, how about, check this out, pizza, pizza? And I'm like, no, sorry. It's not broken, guys. It's still the best it could possibly be, but keep grinding.
29:07 Travis McElroy? There must have been a point with Little Caesar's where they said, what if he just says pizza? And they're like, that's not it. And then someone said, what about pizza, pizza, pizza? And they're like, I think that's too much. We gotta, hmm. And then somebody said, I know, just two times. And they said, fuck dude, yeah, nailed it.
29:24 Griffin McElroy? Because they used to give you two pizzas in a very long box. And that was the whole angle is it wasn't very good, but at least there's two of them. Now they have to rely on puffs.
29:33 Travis McElroy? Do with Caesar? Why, why was that connected to Caesar in any way?
29:37 Griffin McElroy? It's a Greek style.
29:38 Travis McElroy? Was Caesar known for giving two pizzas?
29:39 Griffin McElroy? It's a Greek style.
29:40 Travis McElroy? He made the first pizza. Oh, the, the famous Greek Emperor Caesar? Is that what you're saying, Justin?
29:47 Travis McElroy? Greek and Rome, a lot of people are still kind of, you know.
29:51 Travis McElroy? Uh huh.
29:51 Griffin McElroy? The same time.
29:54 Griffin McElroy? Travis, those two happened the same time and all their shit.
29:57 Travis McElroy? Historians agree, they were all about columns. And they all had columns and robes and togas. And it's all kind of a similar.
30:04 Travis McElroy? It's the second time we talked about Caesar this episode.
30:07 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
30:08 Travis McElroy? They all had different.
30:08 Griffin McElroy? But which one?
30:11 Griffin McElroy? But which one? Cause they, these, this, all this stuff, Travis, all this mythology, it happened so long ago and they have a lot of the same kind of-
30:20 Travis McElroy? Acrustus Caesar.
30:22 Griffin McElroy? Acrustus Caesar, is, is that the name of the Little Caesar's mascot? Cause I don't know if-
30:26 Travis McElroy? I've decided it is, yes.
30:27 Griffin McElroy? He probably has one.
30:28 Travis McElroy? Acrustus.
30:29 Griffin McElroy? And it's probably great. You know, Little Nero's Pizza isn't real. Just in Home Alone.
30:36 Travis McElroy? So it's not real?
30:39 Travis McElroy? I mean, it is in Home Alone. But no, it doesn't.
30:43 Griffin McElroy? That's real.
30:44 Travis McElroy? Home Alone's not real.
30:45 Griffin McElroy? Home Alone is not a real-
30:46 Travis McElroy? You can't be like, it's real in a made up movie.
30:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Let's go to the money zone.
30:52 Travis McElroy? Cause it's clearly a reference-
30:53 Griffin McElroy? Travis, that was a fucking perfect transition. You ruined it.
30:57 Travis McElroy? Damn it dude, I nailed it. And you killed it. I want to try it again.
31:01 Griffin McElroy? Hey guys, for real. Hey guys. The Matrix isn't real.
31:06 Travis McElroy? You would say that though. You would say that until you realized you were wrong.
31:10 Griffin McElroy? Looks real. When you watch The Matrix, you're like, whoa, really? But, um, it's not actually, it didn't happen.
31:17 Travis McElroy? But it stars my friend Morbius.
31:19 Griffin McElroy? No man. No man.
31:20 Travis McElroy? No, Morbius turned into a cloud of bats and flew into the sky. We've covered this. Right. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. I switched them again.
31:29 Griffin McElroy? Let's go to the money zone. It's not as good as the last one, but it'll have to do.
31:40 Travis McElroy? Is that it? Is that it with you?
31:45 Travis McElroy? You know, I, I don't know if it's from my school days when I was a wee lad, but fall will always feel like the beginning of the year to me.
31:55 Griffin McElroy? Hmm.
31:56 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean? It feels like a new, the new start of it. Cause like going back to school and that kind of thing.
32:01 Griffin McElroy? A page is being turned. A page is being turned, you know? It's a new chapter.
32:05 Travis McElroy? Page is being turned. The leaves fall, lives change and the, uh, step by step, day by day. You know, you get it. And it's a great time to start some, uh, some new things to take care of yourself. And I recommend factor.
32:22 Griffin McElroy? Like what, Trav?
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33:28 Griffin McElroy? Hey Juice, we were over at your house, you know, a month or so ago. And I just want to say kitty cats looking.
33:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man, both the kitties are looking really good. Their coats are looking thick and lustrous. And I think.
33:39 Travis McElroy? Griffin, you sounded really Alf-like there for a second.
33:41 Travis McElroy? Yeah, not in a hungry way. Cat, Smalls is the, is the reason, by the way. It's a, it's a cat food that I've been giving them. It comes in these little packages. It comes frozen in a big box. You take out what you need and then you're open and a fresh pack of delicious food that your cat's going to be wild for. Smooth Bird, Smooth Cow, Other Bird, they love all the flavors.
34:04 Travis McElroy? I'm kind of a smooth.
34:05 Travis McElroy? You're a smooth bird. When Travis comes over to my house and needs a late night snack, he reaches for Smooth Bird. But you can choose whichever of these delicious tummy tempters that you want to indulge in.
34:15 Travis McElroy? Justin, I told you never to talk about that in public. I thought it was people food.
34:21 Griffin McElroy? Each Smalls.
34:21 Travis McElroy? So good.
34:22 Griffin McElroy? Each Smalls meal is also infused with Melmite, which is the only substance that can hurt. And so when he sm. One of the cats who's been eating Smalls food. He gets, he gets freaked out and like runs away.
34:36 Travis McElroy? None of that is true, but what is true is that cats love Smalls, or at least mine do. If your cats have good taste like mine do, then they're gonna love it as well. Cause you're my brother, my brother and me listener, you can get 60% off your first Smalls order plus free shipping. When you head to Smalls.com slash my brother, that's 60% off when you head to Smalls.com slash my brother. Plus free shipping. Again, that's Smalls.com slash my brother.
34:58 Griffin McElroy? You guys know that stinky onk that I carry around for my protection?
35:03 Travis McElroy? Is that made of melite?
35:04 Griffin McElroy? That's melite. Yeah. Cause again, one of the is, there's not much.
35:12 Griffin McElroy? It's like that stinky onk shaped talisman that I carry around.
35:14 Travis McElroy? You remember.
35:16 Griffin McElroy? That's for Alf's.
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36:50 Travis McElroy? Hey guys, um, I just want to talk about something, uh, that has become really important to me.
36:55 Travis McElroy? You're being so vulnerable, John.
36:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah, thank you. Uh, it's hard, you know, goal setting is really, really important and it's really important to like, sort of have things that you're working towards.
37:03 Travis McElroy? Goal tending is too.
37:04 Travis McElroy? Um, so I'm a heartbeat of the team. I have found myself surprised, surprisingly caring about something a great deal and it's something that I just want to start, get the conversation going because it's never too early. I want to, I want to talk about the Rocks Oscar. Or as I'm calling it, the Rocksker. The Rocksker, yeah.
37:25 Griffin McElroy? For the Smashing Machine?
37:27 Travis McElroy? We have seen now, I've been, I don't think delighted is too strong word with every piece of smashing machine, advertising that I get, I am happier that there is a movie called The Smashing Machine and it stars The Rock.
37:41 Griffin McElroy? Sure.
37:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it is a true story of a UFC fighter and it is being compared, probably by The Rock, most of all, I would think to, in private, to Mickey Rourke star turn in a wrestler and the conversation, starting to turn towards whether or not The Rock is going to get the Rocksker or not.
38:03 Travis McElroy? Do you think, I bet, unlike most people where they are like, oh, they're doing this to get the Oscar. I bet that the Oscars went to The Rock and were like, we have wanted to give you one of these for so long. Please just do a movie that we can even remotely justify giving it to you. Please let us give you an Oscar.
38:24 Griffin McElroy? Please fuck with a softie. Please get with one of the softies. We will not tell you which one. Either one's going to get you there.
38:31 Travis McElroy? Um, The Rock got, after The Smashing Machine, um, premiered, uh, uh, it rece-
38:39 Travis McElroy? It's out now?
38:40 Travis McElroy? Well, it premiered at the festival circuit.
38:42 Griffin McElroy? Travis, Travis, Travis, come back. Travis, come back. Um, it's not out yet.
38:47 Travis McElroy? Um, it's, it's, uh, it premiered on the festival circuit and received a, um, a 15 minute standing ovation at the end of it, uh, during which The Rock reportedly cried uncontrollably.
39:00 Griffin McElroy? For 15 straight minutes?
39:03 Travis McElroy? Okay, guys.
39:03 Griffin McElroy? Listen. I'm, hey, no, no, I do not want to sound like I am judging The Rock for his emotional vulnerable. Amazing, but 15 minutes of crying.
39:11 Travis McElroy? Now, we don't know, the ovation lasted for 15 minutes. I'm gonna go ahead and start a timer, just so we, just so we get an idea. Imagine the movie just ended, and we're cheering for The Rock, right?
39:25 Griffin McElroy? You can't have that going in the show, though, because it'll, it'll reveal how much of our shit Rachel edits out.
39:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah, we cut 10 minutes.
39:32 Griffin McElroy? When you're like, and there's our 15 minutes. All of those jokes are gone.
39:35 Travis McElroy? All right, now, here's the, I want to make it clear. I believe that everyone should be able to cry when the spirit moves them. It's fine.
39:41 Griffin McElroy? I can.
39:42 Travis McElroy? I'm trying to picture the giant man that I know as The Rock crying uncontrollably.
39:52 Griffin McElroy? I bet it's scary. I bet it's crazy. If he loses control.
39:57 Travis McElroy? I, listen, they teach us not to editorialize when you're learning the AP style. And I don't think you can ever know the contents of another person's heart. I have to say, I assume that after you are a wrestling professional, you are always in control of your emotions. He can't afford to not be. You know what I mean?
40:15 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, sure, sure. It's gotta be tough. You can't get angry. You can't get angry while you're out there, because you could hurt somebody. That's what The Smashing Machine is kinda all about.
40:27 Griffin McElroy? You can't get sad out there, or you'll get smashed.
40:30 Travis McElroy? The Rock?
40:31 Griffin McElroy? Which is also one of the core messages of The Smashing Machine. Emotions lead to smashing.
40:35 Travis McElroy? The Rock has been wearing sunglasses. And that, that, that, sorry, not sunglasses. The Rock has been wearing glasses at some of these events. And that is starting to make people think, maybe it's time for The Rock's curve. You know, maybe this is the moment because he's wearing glasses.
40:52 Griffin McElroy? The glasses.
40:53 Travis McElroy? The glasses, maybe, because he's going for an, an evolution. And there's some other clues, too. And that's really what I wanted to bring you guys here for. The, The Rock's been doing a lot of promotion for the, for, for The Smashing Machine. A lot of interviews. And I think The Rock.
41:08 Travis McElroy? The more you say the name of the movie, the more it sounds like a fun fake title we came up with for an actual movie.
41:16 Travis McElroy? And here, and I gathered some of. The Rock's quotes about his work during the film, because he's been, you know, he's been out there promoting it. And I just wanted to share something with you guys.
41:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
41:28 Travis McElroy? Yeah, absolutely.
41:29 Travis McElroy? This transformation was something I was really hungry to do. I had been very fortunate to have the career that I've had over the years and to make the films that I've made, but there was just a voice inside of me, a little voice that said, well, what if I could do more? I want to do more. And what does that look like? I've been scared to go deep and intense and raw until now, until I had this opportunity to do this. When you're in Hollywood, as we all know, it had become about box office and you chase the box office. And the box office in our business is very loud. It can push you. This is what The Rock said. It can push you into a corner and a category.
42:09 Travis McElroy? This is your lane. This is what you do. And this is what people want you to be. This is what Hollywood wants you to be. And I understood that. I made these movies and I liked them and they were fun. And some were really good and did well. And some not so good. I think what I did realize is I just had this burning desire in this voice that was just saying, what if there's more? What if I can?
42:37 Griffin McElroy? Do we get to vote on Oscars? Do we get to decide? What would we have to do?
42:42 Travis McElroy? What do we need to do? Because I'm doing my part. I can't take out a billboard outside Rodeo Drive, okay?
42:49 Griffin McElroy? I want to help. I want to reward what I just heard and I don't know.
42:52 Travis McElroy? He's been fighting so fucking hard, guys.
42:57 Travis McElroy? Can I tell you, I was struck in that statement. There's a beautiful childlike naivete as he's like, is there more than just doing big man punching movies? I don't know.
43:11 Griffin McElroy? I'll dismiss a million billion big man punches.
43:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah, like a hundred thousand.
43:15 Griffin McElroy? A hundred million billion big man punching movies.
43:18 Travis McElroy? But then he's sitting there like, what does it even look like for The Rock to do some like real act? And I'm like, should I try acting more deeper?
43:29 Travis McElroy? The great thing about following The Rocksker, as I have been, is that the people who are covering The Rocksker don't actually have the vocabulary to understand what The Rocksker means. So they are buying it. Here's a, here's a real line from the variety story about the premiere of The Smashing Machine. Before the screening started, one fan shouted Johnson's signature WWE line, can you smell what The Rock is cooking? Prompting laughter from the man of the hour. The Rock's gonna get his Oscar, guys. He's gonna get his fucking Oscar. These people are not getting it.
44:06 Travis McElroy? Dick about it. Yeah, he didn't pull a Billy Bob Thornton where he'd be like, uh, would you, uh, ask Brad Pitt about his, uh, cooking YouTube that he does? Like, he's, he owns it. He knows what, where he came from and he's proud of it. I'm also, I'm thinking of a, a lot of like got an Oscar and then ended up doing big man action movies. He wants to have it the other way. Think of, yeah, there's a Stallone, you know, Stallone paved the way of like got that Rocky for writing, I believe. And then said, now I'm just gonna be action guy from now on. Yeah. And now here's the Rock coming in. Now he's the king of Tulsa. Enough said. That's true.
44:49 Travis McElroy? Uh, The Rock continues in this same junket, like same junket, same, same tour. These are all from the same junket. Sometimes it's hard to know what you're capable of when you've been pigeonholed into something. It's harder to know, wait, can I do that? I feel like I can. And sometimes it takes people who love you and respect you to say you can. The Rock! Yeah. The Rock is like, I feel like I've been pigeonholed. Into being The Rock. Yeah, man. It says in your contract, you can't lose fights, The Rock. Yeah, man. I think you've been pigeonholed. I think you've had a role in that pigeonholing. I think. But it's cool to watch him do this shadow work.
45:34 Travis McElroy? Out in front of all of it like.
45:35 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I have to do this in a mirror. The Rock gets to do it in front of reporters.
45:39 Travis McElroy? And this is what those safeties duty. This is how those safeties fucking get. You guys remember? Do you guys fucking remember what the Sandman used to be like before those safeties got their fucking claws in him? And turned him into like an introspective sort of artist. It's like, man, it's cool and I'm happy to see it. But also there's not, we're not going back, guys.
46:02 Travis McElroy? I'll say this though, it's, it's very inspiring to me because if someone like even the Rock can be pigeonholed into something. Maybe I've been pigeonholed into something, you know?
46:12 Travis McElroy? You gotta wonder, right?
46:13 Travis McElroy? I've never really thought about it.
46:14 Travis McElroy? You gotta wonder, Trav, are you may, are you maybe, have you, are you being punished? Or like tormented in the same way that the Rock is? That by.
46:24 Griffin McElroy? I wear glasses.
46:26 Travis McElroy? He's wearing glasses.
46:26 Travis McElroy? Glasses, look at this, look at these glasses.
46:28 Griffin McElroy? He and I.
46:29 Travis McElroy? Wearing glasses?
46:30 Griffin McElroy? Those are fucking cool glasses.
46:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah, cuz he's the Rock, man. They probably cost $4,000 and are made by Cartier, you know? Sorry, but that's.
46:37 Travis McElroy? Maybe it's time for me to try more.
46:39 Travis McElroy? They're 1400.
46:39 Travis McElroy? Maybe I should be in the smashing machine too.
46:43 Travis McElroy? Okay, that's not, that. Okay, we'll talk about it.
46:45 Travis McElroy? I wanna be in the smashing machine too.
46:47 Travis McElroy? Trav, you can't be in the smashing machine.
46:48 Griffin McElroy? They already made the smashing.
46:49 Travis McElroy? No, smashing machine number two.
46:51 Travis McElroy? You can't.
46:51 Griffin McElroy? Trav, it'll be a long time before they make smashing machines.
46:53 Travis McElroy? You can't cuz you gotta fight the Rock for it. And let me tell you where the Rock is at. I'm at a point in my career where I wanna push myself in ways that I've not pushed myself in the past. I wanna make films that matter, that explore humanity and explore struggle and pain. So remember in the future, when the Rock is in films that don't do that, he's doing it against his will. Cuz that is not what he wants to do.
47:14 Griffin McElroy? Or in his head.
47:16 Travis McElroy? Guys, I've got it. I'm gonna write a biopic about myself starring the Rock as me.
47:22 Travis McElroy? Trav.
47:23 Travis McElroy? I'll get the Oscar for screenplay.
47:25 Travis McElroy? For the Travings machine.
47:26 Travis McElroy? He gets the Oscar for the Travings machine, yes.
47:32 Travis McElroy? Starring The Rock as Travis McRoy.
47:34 Griffin McElroy? Damn it, they want me to throw the podcast. What does that mean?
47:39 Griffin McElroy? They got me for podcast betting. What are you talking? Yeah, I was fixing podcasts. What is what are you? What does that mean?
47:46 Travis McElroy? They're in still a better representation of podcasting than Alex Inc. Says Variety.
47:53 Griffin McElroy? Movies seem to struggle with basic cause and effect sort of storytelling, but beats the pants off Alex Inc.
48:01 Travis McElroy? This is the last one. I looked around a few years ago and I started to think, you know, guys, okay, this is what The Rock said to people, right? Like in my head before I answer, okay, I looked around a few years ago and I started to think, you know, am I living my dream or am I living other people's dreams?
48:21 Travis McElroy? The Rock doesn't know that? The Rock doesn't? How am I supposed to answer that question for myself?
48:25 Travis McElroy? Is The Rock living my dream in which The Rock is a huge star and maybe gets a Roskar?
48:32 Travis McElroy? Wait, am I living The Rock's dream and he's living my dream and we somehow switch bodies?
48:37 Travis McElroy? You can come to that recognition and I think you either fall in line. Well, it's status quo. Things are good. I don't want to rock the boat. You need to keep doing the multi-million dollar movies or go, I want to live my dreams now and do what I want to do and tap into the stuff that I want to tap into and have a place finally to put all this stuff that I've experienced in the past and that I shat away from. I've been scared to go deep in intense and raw until now, until I had this opportunity.
49:08 Griffin McElroy? Keep going, King. Like you're, yeah, man, keep it going. We're, we're all rooting for you.
49:12 Travis McElroy? By the way, I'm not a watcher of, to be fair, I'm not a watcher of Young Rock. I guess you don't cover this territory in the biopic about your young life, which does seem like missed opportunity. If I wanted to dig into sort of my unpacked stuff, one way that I might do that is a series about my youth. The Rock?
49:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, but that was, he wasn't here yet. Young Rock has so much work to do before he gets to rock.
49:36 Travis McElroy? I, I also think that there is an implied parenthetical statement at the end of all these quotes that's like, "And now I have so much money that I don't have to worry about box office anymore, and I can make some of this shit."
49:50 Travis McElroy? He's making the smashing machine. If you want to make art, come to do a podcast.
49:55 Travis McElroy? That's where the po- that's where the art happens. You're welcome to be here and I will eat every bad word I've ever said about you.
50:00 Travis McElroy? I, I love The Rock. I just feel like no one is doing the work that we are doing for The Rock right now. In his day to day life.
50:07 Travis McElroy? He should have gotten an Oscar for Jumanji.
50:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. He should have gotten an Oscar for Jumanji.
50:13 Travis McElroy? Thank you.
50:14 Travis McElroy? "I'm going to a bachelor party at an Airbnb next weekend. The amenities include a hot tub, an arcade, but also a laundry room. How can I surreptitiously do my laundry at the party without it being weird?" Yes. "Some additional notes. We're only there one night." "It is in town." "I have to pay to do my laundry at my apartment, so this will save me money. Thank you."
50:38 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
50:40 Griffin McElroy? The, the, the logistics are easy. I think we could probably chip those in pretty... I mean, you bring a big suitcase. No one's gonna fucking say anything.
50:48 Travis McElroy? They will. Why did you bring such a big suitcase?
50:49 Travis McElroy? For one night? Why such a big suitcase? They definitely will. Try again.
50:53 Griffin McElroy? Medicine.
50:54 Travis McElroy? Oh, medicine. I'm super sick. This is my final farewell.
50:58 Griffin McElroy? Well, no, like, no, you wouldn't say all that, but-
51:01 Travis McElroy? Why would you tell your friends you're dying to cover up doing laundry?
51:03 Griffin McElroy? I didn't say that. I would say it's personal. Say it's a personal reason for why it's so big. And they're not gonna ask anymore. If they do, they're not your friends. And they'll say, "Why does it stink like old, dirty clothes so much?" And you say, "Medical reasons, former friend." Like, the logistics are so easy. We don't have to sweat those.
51:26 Travis McElroy? It doesn't. You're making them seem actually harder than I imagined them to be before the question.
51:33 Travis McElroy? If you're in town, here's what you do. You just keep offering to run out and get more stuff for the party, but you're going back to your apartment and getting another load of laundry and bringing it back and forth.
51:45 Griffin McElroy? That's good. That's good.
51:48 Travis McElroy? You need some sort of-
51:49 Travis McElroy? Under your big coat. You have a big coat on too, that helps.
51:52 Griffin McElroy? You're wearing all the laundry.
51:54 Travis McElroy? Some sort of Easter egg hunt or scavenger hunt or something would give them-
51:58 Griffin McElroy? Just to get them out of the house for a while.
51:59 Travis McElroy? Well, I was gonna say to give you an excuse for like continually like ducking in like there's gotta be one around here. You know, like if you said that like, like really loud, like there's gotta be a clue around here somewhere. And like you can cover doing your laundry.
52:11 Griffin McElroy? That's cool. And you need to tell the, are the other people-
52:15 Travis McElroy? If they're like, why are you going into the laundry room so much? You can be like scavenger hunt. You know what I mean?
52:20 Griffin McElroy? For one.
52:21 Travis McElroy? No, they're playing too. There is a scavenger hunt. Like you've organized it.
52:25 Travis McElroy? I just need a moment of quiet reflection and scavenger hunting.
52:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, we don't use that excuse enough when someone's like, what are you doing just wandering around? What are you looking for? You should be able to just say like, eggs.
52:37 Travis McElroy? Clearly the implication is that you would organize the hunt. Like you would have to organize it, clearly.
52:44 Griffin McElroy? I'm looking for hidden eggs.
52:46 Travis McElroy? Or hidden cameras.
52:48 Travis McElroy? That Travis, I like that. You can't be too careful with these Airbnbs.
52:52 Travis McElroy? It could be. Yeah, but you just keep going in the laundry room. Do you want to check like the bedrooms?
52:56 Travis McElroy? That's where they try to monitor. They want to take pictures of your filthy panties.
53:00 Griffin McElroy? Nobody better be doing any laundry in my laundry room.
53:05 Travis McElroy? I'll tell you this right now, if I went to a bachelor party, if I, cause I've lived in apartments where I had to pay to do my laundry and stuff. And if I went to a bachelor party in an Airbnb and another guest there brought their laundry to do for free, the feeling I would feel is deep envy and anger at myself. And hey, that's actually probably going to be your biggest issue. Everyone else has done it too. And there's only the one washer dryer. You're gonna have to coordinate and try not to mix up your underwears.
53:33 Griffin McElroy? I don't. What's wrong?
53:36 Griffin McElroy? Just Travis saying that really threw me for a loop.
53:39 Travis McElroy? Well, you don't want to mix up your underwears with each other if you throw your clothes together.
53:42 Griffin McElroy? Just calling it your underwears.
53:43 Travis McElroy? That's because of the room, the room.
53:45 Griffin McElroy? I know, that's what I'm saying. It made me think of that.
53:47 Travis McElroy? What if you went to everybody in the party and you got one piece of dirty clothes from each of them? And you put it in with.
53:54 Travis McElroy? As a getting to know you game?
53:55 Travis McElroy? No, like you, so The Rock has just finished his applause break.
54:00 Griffin McElroy? Wow, that's a huge amount of time to be taking that energy from a big crowd.
54:06 Travis McElroy? Do you think it was a constant level the whole time?
54:08 Travis McElroy? It had to be dips and they're like, he's looking, he's still crying. Maybe we should keep going. Okay, he's still at it.
54:13 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, the variety headline is, uh, The Rock's smashing machine receives seven minute standing ovation. And then about a nine or 10 second gap where it seemed like things were slowing down.
54:25 Travis McElroy? And then he kept crying even harder than before.
54:27 Travis McElroy? Maybe they clapped until he cried. Like they're clapping and they're like, he's right on the edge.
54:32 Travis McElroy? Do it, baby.
54:32 Travis McElroy? We only got him. Do it.
54:34 Travis McElroy? Do it, you big pussy. Let's see the waterworks. You're such a great actor. Come on. Do it. I want to smell what you're cooking.
54:45 Travis McElroy? The smashing machine received a 15 minute, very directed standing ovation, very targeted.
54:51 Travis McElroy? It was all the iron sheik. That's what's crazy about it. He was just standing there yelling at The Rock.
54:59 Travis McElroy? Wouldn't it be fucked? There should be one.
55:04 Travis McElroy? If he gets up to do the speech, someone should hit him with a chair. I'm just saying that when he gets up to get The Rock's car, Bradley Cooper.
55:17 Travis McElroy? Oh, I went to Martin Short, but.
55:19 Travis McElroy? Martin Short? No, he'd kill Martin Short.
55:24 Griffin McElroy? Wait, is he gonna strike back?
55:25 Travis McElroy? Martin Short hits him with a chair. The Rock's like uncontrollable, guys. This is where he's at with this film, right? I wouldn't push it.
55:33 Travis McElroy? Oh, he's tapped into his feelings now.
55:35 Travis McElroy? Yeah, he's, he's in get, he's the full power of The Rock.
55:38 Travis McElroy? He's cracked wide open.
55:41 Travis McElroy? If you go to everybody in the party and you say, hey, give me one piece of your clothing and then you put it in with your clothes and then you start washing them.
55:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
55:47 Travis McElroy? Nobody can say anything because they discover it. You're like, oh, that's interesting. Check out this sock. Huh? I guess I'm not the bad guy.
55:54 Travis McElroy? I guess we're, we're all culpable now.
55:56 Travis McElroy? I guess we're all criminals. Huh?
56:00 Travis McElroy? Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it. I looked at my watch before I started saying that and I don't really know why. Hey, we're gonna do some more shows. You wanna come see us? We're still out there.
56:12 Travis McElroy? We'd love that, if you wanted to. Yeah, we're gonna be in, we're gonna be in Salt Lake City and San Diego doing shows next month. Tickets for all the shows are on sale now. You can get all the information about those shows and the ticket links and everything at bit.ly/macroytours. And speaking of tickets, at the beginning of November, tickets for the third annual Champions Grove at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio are gonna be on sale. All the information and everything at championsgrove.com.
56:41 Travis McElroy? That's more than just a ticket to an event, folks. That's a ticket to adventure. That's a ticket to friendship. That's a ticket to good times, to learning. You're gonna learn.
56:50 Travis McElroy? And friendship.
56:51 Travis McElroy? Which I have covered. Yeah, but double, double friendship. We got some new merch in the store. We got a Garret shirt designed by Lynn Doyle, who is at Lynn Doyle underscore on Instagram, L I N D O Y L E. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community. We also have a newsletter. You can sign up at bit.ly/fort slash McElroy newsletter and be the first to know about new stuff.
57:18 Griffin McElroy? Hey, thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." Check out Montane's, it's not really new. I don't know at what point an album stops being new.
57:28 Travis McElroy? New to you.
57:28 Griffin McElroy? It's hard to be a fan.
57:29 Travis McElroy? Well, they've been posting a lot of content from their tour and everything. It looks so cool.
57:34 Travis McElroy? You should go check out Montane's TikTok presence. There's a lot of great videos.
57:38 Griffin McElroy? Thanks, Montane. We have, do we have a final fear?
57:42 Travis McElroy? We do.
57:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I'll read it. This year, I'm gonna be faster than my fear of trees, but only at night.
57:51 Speaker 04 My name's Justin McElroy.
57:53 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
57:54 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
57:55 Travis McElroy? It's my brother, my brother, because your dad's square on the lips.
58:04 Speaker 08 Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.
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